#pride month is always hard for me when it comes to this kinda stuff

[endersdead]

having old addiction cravings pop up is so crazy like ik i literally dont want it but my chest is gonna explode and the sky will fall if i dont have some what the hell man

[tonycries]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - G.S.

Synopsis. He knows that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels. And you know that you want nothing more than to stay by his side. After meeting an alluring cowboy at Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon, both of you are sure of one thing - this must be fate.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, wild west! AU, cowboy! Satoru, mayor’s daughter! Reader, Satoru is SO DOWN BAD, angst, kinda slowburn, friends-to-lovers, bartender! Nanami, cunnilingus, oral sex (female + male receiving), unprotected sex, gun violence, pet names (m’lady, my love, + others), tumbleweed bandits, reader and Satoru are both going through stuff, Gege cameo, swearing, author’s daddy issues come out.

Word count. 12.1k (I’m scared)

A/N. You know how hard it was to make this all cowboy-y. Anyway that’s off the bucket list.

Art by @_3aem on X.

“So, you itchin’ for a beating from me or yer’ wife?”

Glowering down at the drunk old pervert as he waddled away in fear, you sigh as you dust down your heavy skirts. Typical. The sun beats down on your face as you look up at that familiar faded banner.

Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon

The only bar in your little town of Rustcliffe, and by default the only one around for miles. You hated this place - not the saloon, no, the handsome bartender there was always a sweetheart. But at some point, the comfort of your quaint old town had become too comfortable.

But that’s a story for another time. Right now, you were here to drag your father back home - per usual. 

Rolling your eyes at the cacophony of drunken voices carrying from inside, you step through the dust-bitten swinging doors. 

What hits you first is the stench of cheap alcohol, and then the inebriated camaraderie of the men around you. In the dim lighting of the saloon, you squeeze through the crowded tables and make your way to the bar. 

Not a hair out of place, as usual, Nanami lights up when he spots you. “Well, it’s been a while. Here for the mayor again?” he speaks over the boisterous laughs around you. 

You flash him a smile, “Yeah, you know my father. Fraternizin’ with the voters and all that.” you wave off your father’s excuse to come down here. 

“Certainly takes his job very seriously.” Nanami chuckles, “You’ll find him over by the window, in the back.” he points. 

Tipping your head in thanks, you walk the treacherous track to take your animated father home. When you come in view of his table, you find that he wasn’t alone. Damn, it was always harder to convince him to go when with other people.

You know your father has spotted you by his lively laugh and gleeful shouts, “Ah, my daughter! My beautiful daughter! Whatcha doin’ here? Come come! There’s someone I wan’ introduce you to.” 

A smile slips out unintentionally at his almost-endearing pride. You mentally prepare yourself to say some awkward hellos to some of your father’s old drinking buddies before dragging him home. 

Upon reaching your father, he immediately pulls you into a drunken embrace, wrapping his slightly rocky arm around your shoulders. “This is the daughter I was telling ya about! Prettiest girl in town! Hell, maybe even the country, knowin’ ma girl.” he prattles. 

In his jovial state, he abruptly turns to face whoever he was drinking with, unsteady on his two feet. Probably another old geezer, you assume not taking your eyes off your father until you could make sure he won’t collapse on the bar floor for the third time this month.

Finally, you look up. 

Your eyes meet blue. 

Blue, blue summer skies. 

To Satoru, you were the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen. As soon as he caught a glimpse of you menacingly threatening that creep outside through the window, every word the mayor said went in one ear and he couldn’t even remember if it went out the other. Too entranced. 

And when he introduced you as his daughter? Shit, it might just be fate.

“C’mon now boy! Cat got yer’ tongue? What happened to that sharp mouth of yours?”

The booming voice of your father snaps Satoru out of his captivation. Damn, he must’ve been staring for too long. 

Mentally praying you weren’t spooked by his speechlessness, he finally speaks, voice slightly shaky at your presence, “Ah- Good day m’lady. Apologies for my impoliteness, the name’s Satoru Gojo.” he tips his crisp white hat. Gently grasping your hand in his, he places a delicate kiss, looking up at you as he awaits your response.

You gaze, slightly awe-struck, at his ethereally beautiful white locks and the impish grin from where he held your hand. His lips were so soft.

“Oh!” you startle at the clap of your father’s hand on your shoulder. Shit, you were definitely staring too long.  Rushing to introduce yourself, you quickly interject a “Nice to meet you, Satoru” before your father starts leading the conversation once more.

“Satoru here is a traveler, arrived jus’ today! Told him people like us could never, I mean imagine, right?” he slurs. 

Your ears perk up at this piece of information, “Oh? Are you really a traveler, Satoru? How admirable.” you gush, previous bashfulness forgotten. Was that…a blush spreading across his face? Couldn’t be - your town's whiskey was known to give people rosy cheeks on occasion.

“Thank you, m’lady. It’s nothing special really, jus’ staying here a while.” he barely gets the words out before you father bellows a tangent - “Don’ be shy, boy! How wondrous traveling is, kids these days could use some toughening up!”

Both of you rush to catch your father as he sways with a passion seen only during election rallies. It takes the two of you to steady the man. As he continues babbling half-lucidly, you cock your head sweetly at Satoru, “Help me take him outside?” 

Satoru thinks his knees might give out then and there.

The air is chilly by the time the three of you step outside, sun making its way below the horizon. Despite your father’s protests that he can ride home on his own, he knocks out as soon as Satoru gracefully mounts him on his horse. Carefully saddling behind him, you try to make sure your father doesn’t fall off of Satoru’s beautiful white Quarter horse.

“You really don’t have to escort us home, Satoru. My ol’ man wouldn’t even feel it if he fell, I swear.” you insist as Satoru holds onto the reins from the ground, feeling bad for bothering him.

“It’s no trouble. After all, Gege seems to like him very much, hm?” Satoru remarks as he turns to his stallion, who attempts to bite him in response, “Can’t say the same for myself.”

“Hmm, how can I be sure yer’ not a serial killer?” you tease, reveling in the sharp laugh it draws from him.

“You’ll jus’ have to take a chance on me, m’lady.” he hums, eyes sparkling with mirth. There’s a lull in the conversation as Satoru pulls on the reins to start walking you down the road, the rhythmic clip-clop! of the horse filling the still air.

“So you travel?”

“This is a nice town.”

Both of you speak at once, anxious to fill the silence, only to sputter self-consciously.

“You can-”

“No no, it’s only customary for a lady to go first.” he hums, looking up at you. 

“Tell me stories of your travels.” you breathe out, eager for any crumb of escape from your little town. 

As you made your way home to the sprawling family ranch, the night adorned itself with twinkling stars that matched the mischievous glint in Satoru’s eyes as he told you bizarre tales from his life on the road. 

“IN MY DEFENSE, it was dark an’ that tumbleweed was shaped suspiciously like a lowly bandit. Hey- don’t laugh- it was a very heated standoff!” Satoru exclaims animatedly as you cackle. 

“Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that, cowboy. Even bandits woulda run away from your clownery.” delighted at the way the moonlight illuminates the blush that tinges his ears. 

Making a fool of himself, Satoru’s stories have you laughing until your cheeks hurt, wishing you could experience them too. You almost forget about your father’s deafening snores and the bite of the wind. 

But Satoru does not. Brows furrowing as he catches your slight shiver, he mentally berates himself for forgetting his manners. How dare he let a lady suffer the cold while he still had his fuckin’ coat! What a sorry excuse for a cowboy, this is worse than that time he accidentally lassoed a rattlesnake.

Hastily shrugging his coat off, he passes it to you with a sheepish smile on his face. 

Face heating up against the cold draft, you breathe in the smell of pine, amber, and something so Satoru. Clearly not as affected as you are, Satoru launches back into his stories.

If Satoru thought his knees were going to give out before then he knows they’re about to now. He aims to keep his eyes steadfast on the road as he recalls his endeavors, because he’s aware that even one glance at you all wrapped up in his coat wouldn’t be too good for him.

Making out the warm lights in the distance, his heart falls as he realizes his time with you is drawing to an end. You seem to share similar sentiments, as you sigh silently.

Once again, a silence falls upon you two (well, three if your slumbering father counted) - but this time, it was serene. You could almost drift to sleep if it wasn’t for your mother’s frantic calls for you from the front porch. 

“Oh, darlin’, I was so worried! I didn’t think it would be so late out!” she frets as Satoru helps you get down from his horse. Hands on your waist searing into your skin. 

Clearly awoken due to the commotion, your dad stumbles his way down and towards your red brick villa. 

“Ah, honey! I’m home…somehow…you know, I met the most interesting fella Something-toru. A wanderer, real interesting.” turning comically to Satoru, he exclaims in delight “Something-toru! How didya get ‘ere?” 

Stifling his laughs, Satoru backs away, claiming he had to leave before your father roped him into more rounds of drinks. Which clearly didn’t work because your mother approaches him, “Stay, Satoru, stay! Can’t have you sleepin’ underneath some tree when you escorted our darling daughter all the way out here.”

Any refusals are immediately blocked out by your very inebriated father yelling out in agreement, claiming he wanted to listen to more of Satoru’s “funny lil’ stories”. Your parents head inside - well, more like your mother heads inside with your father in tow - having taken his speechlessness for agreement.

As you follow, you turn to Satoru, a strange part of you gleeful at the fact you won’t have to part with him for now. “We’ve got an extra room, and it’s got yer’ name on it. The stablehand will stall Gege, c’mon, it’ll be a lot better than the ground.” you grin.

“Hey! The ground can be very comfortable.” Satoru declares defensively, yet follows you inside anyway.

It’s only rushed goodbyes and promises to talk tomorrow morning as the housemaids fuss around Satoru. “Goodnight m’lady.” he’d winked as your head housekeeper clutched her pearls at his dirty boots on her recently polished hardwood floors.

That night, as you lay in your childhood bed, you realize that you still have Satoru’s coat on. Whether from his coat or something else entirely that you did not want to explore, you felt so warm inside.

---

Morning dawns with the symphony of the Western meadowlark that nudges you gently awake - usually. Today, it’s abruptly shattered as the door bursts open and someone barges into your room. Judging by the thud of hefty boots, you knew very well who it was. 

“Rise n’ shine, m’lady!” Satoru’s voice - way too cheerful for six in the morning - chirps out. 

It’s been a few days since Satoru has been staying with you. Now more a friend than a guest, you expect he’s come to wake you up for a morning ride with Gege, watching the sun rise as you exchange silly banter. But it’s so early…

“What do you want, Something-toru.” you grumble out from in-between your comfy covers. You secretly delight at his whines of “How dare you not remember my name, I even told you about the rattlesnake lasso!” 

The warmth of your bed and the melody of Satoru’s voice has you sluggishly falling back asleep - that’s before he promptly sits on your bed. The force of it bouncing you both, making you sit up with a laugh.

Satoru was on your bed.

Satoru was on your bed. Shit, after what your father told him this morning, he wouldn’t blame you if you kicked him out with a punch to his pretty nose right this second. Mentally slapping himself a million times over, he hurriedly gets out the reason he was sent in to wake you up in the first place, “Ah- Um, the mayor is meeting with…someone important, wanted you to come down and meet him. Well, if tha’s all then I’ll be going, Gege won’t brush himself, sadly.”

And before you could get another word out, he’s swiftly out the door. 

Satoru was on your bed. Your cheeks slightly heat up as you realize you didn’t mind?

His words ring in your ears as you get ready for the day - if it was someone important, then you might as well dress to impress. Impress someone else too. Shaking off these strange thoughts from your mind, you make your way downstairs, nose wrinkling at the smell of tobacco that greets you.

You’ve always hated the stench of the overpriced tobacco your father brings out to impress guests. “There she is! My daughter!” your father smiles, beckoning you over. “There’s someone who’s here to see you.” 

Grimacing at the cloud of smoke, you take a seat on the plush sofa beside your father. He gestures at the man seated in front of him, “This here is Naoya.”

Despite his sharply handsome features, you shift uncomfortably at the way he watches you like a predator appraising his prey, eyes following your every movement. Apparently approving of what he saw, his lips curl into a smirk, “Your future husband.” he says saccharinely sweet.

What the fuck?

“Father?” you panickedly turn to him for answers, voice strained at your attempt to keep it even. But your father merely guffaws out a laugh, “Well well, nothing confirmed just yet. But you know with the way things are going with the re-election, might as well get to know a suitor and...” his voice trails off as he takes another puff of his cigar. 

“My apologies sir, I refuse.” you drone out, looking straight at Naoya. You don’t miss the way his smirk grows leeringly as he mutters “You don’t have too much of a say in this matter, sweetcheeks.”  The audacity.

Apparently your father doesn’t hear, a more grave expression taking over his face, “Now I’ve talked with Naoya, you’re of marriageable age. And as young as I feel, I won’t be around forever. You need someone to take care of you, dear. We’ve talked about this.” 

Tears prick at your eyes as you abruptly stand up, disturbing the smoke around you. “I can take care of myself.” you spit out venomously, storming your way to the heavy front door in an attempt to run away from this situation.

In the dim sunlight filtering through the curtains, Naoya watches in amusement as you stomp out of the room. Hilarious, the feisty ones were always the best. 

Over the mayor’s ramble of apologies, he grins “No don’t worry about that. She’ll be mine either way.”

The heavy wooden door creaks in protest as you slam it shut, echoing your frustration. The brisk air is a temporary relief from the suffocating atmosphere inside.

“Talked about this” your ass. Every conversation - if you can even call them that - was a heated warning about being married off before you end up a spinster. You couldn’t care less about ending up alone if it didn’t mean living life with a man that talked to you like that.

Your thoughts block out the crunch of the gravel beneath your boots as your feet subconsciously lead you to the stables, where you used to play hide-and-seek as a kid. More recently, though, it has become an escape from conversations like these. 

Approaching its familiar wooden doors, you catch a glimpse of Satoru, back turned and meticulously grooming Gege.

Sensing your presence, he turns with an easy smile that quickly fades as he notices the deep furrow of your brows. “Hey there, m’lady. Everything alrigh’?” cerulean eyes flit across your face worriedly.

“Oh yeah, everything’s great. Just got introduced to my absolute asshat of a future husband.” as if Satoru’s concerned expression makes something in you snap, the words tumble out along with your tears.

“I don’t even- The way he looked at me- Can you even believe?”

Satoru was about to rip apart whoever this load of horse manure was that made tears streak down your pretty face. Throwing his brush down - which Gege didn’t quite appreciate - he quickly envelopes you in his arms, letting you muffle your sobs.

“Hey hey. It’ll be alright, we’ll work something out. I promise, m’lady.” he consoles. 

Eventually, as your cries die down, you look up to see the rising sun casting a soft glow on Satoru’s features, illuminating the sincerity in his gaze.

The determined glint in his eyes emboldens you, “Yer’ right, I will not be forced into a marriage, especially with someone like Naoya. I’m not anyone’s property.”

A subtle warmth is present in Satoru’s gaze as he utters, “Tha’s my girl.” before reeling back and backtracking immediately, “Ah! I mean- good for you m’lady. Naoya ain’t the one. Anyway, tell me about this ‘asshat’.”

You raise a brow teasingly at his rapid change of demeanor, before plopping down on the hay, launching into your first impression of Naoya and why the rumors downtown of him making babies cry were probably true. 

The sun shines high in the sky as you lay there in peaceful silence, only to be broken by the doubt weighing heavy on your mind. “I’m scared.” you admit.

Satoru turns from his place beside you from the hay, “It’s alright, you got Gege and myself beside you. If Naoya ain’t the one then he ain’t the one.” 

Your eyes meet his twinkling gaze, “Yeah, he’s not the one.”

The air grows charged with something unspoken as the silence stretches out. Satoru can feel the tips of his ears burning at your words - stop it Satoru, she didn’t mean anything by it. As always, he retreats into humor to break the crackling silence. 

“I’d help you hide the body, y’know. Then you can have a shotgun wedding with whoever you want to share your days with.”

“Oh yeah? What if he turns out just like that asshat?” you challenge. 

“Well, if it doesn’t work out, you can always run away with me. Fightin’ tumbleweeds together.” Satoru makes light of the situation, in an attempt to etch that beautiful smile on your face once more. It works, as you throw your head back and laugh.

“Yeah, I’d love that.” you get out in-between giggles. 

If someone looked at you like Satoru did, you probably wouldn’t mind marrying them. A voice whispers in the back of your mind, sending your brows furrowing once again.

Meanwhile, Satoru finally had a name for your future not-husband - Naoya.

Urgently getting up and removing the hay stuck to your clothes once you hear your housemaids calling for you, you leave Satoru with a grateful smile that had him swooning out loud immediately after the stable door shut - to the very visible judgment of Gege.

It felt like a knife in his chest when the mayor tittered secretly to him about your future husband this morning, thoughts of you getting married plaguing his mind all morning. Well, if you were happy then it’s fine, isn’t it? 

He was halfway through imagining you in a beautiful dress of white when you’d arrived with a cloudy expression covering your gorgeous features. If Satoru had thought hearing about your fiancé was like being stabbed, then the despair on your face made him feel like he was completely cleaved in half. 

You deserve someone that deserves you. Probably not him. Certainly not Naoya.

Walking back to the house to fetch his riding gloves, he’s lost in the thoughts of standing off against a faceless man calling himself your husband when he bumps into somebody.

“My apolog- Asshat?” Satoru blurts out at the man testily raising a brow at him.

“Excuse you, barn boy?” he fumes, at the nickname that slips by. Ah, he’s done it now. Lips tweaking into a forced smile, Satoru grits out, “Ah, apologies, sir. Cowboy tendencies.”

The air is tense as Naoya mutters, “Keep those to yourself.” He moves to walk past Satoru, before stopping close enough to utter words meant for only him to hear, “And stay away from my future bride. I saw the hay on her skirt, yer’ insane to think you’d have a chance, barn boy. Go back to wanderin’ around.”

Satoru stands rooted to the spot as Naoya walks off, too many emotions he can’t name whirling inside him. That morning, he stalks off for his longest ride since arriving at Rustcliffe - not coming back with Gege until well after midnight. 

---

To Satoru, long rides always mean interesting dreams. Right now he was in a tap-dancing competition against a one-eyed alligator who looked suspiciously like your father. It’s a shame - he was winning too - that the competition is suddenly crashed by an angel calling for him. 

“Satoru…Satoru!” 

An angel that sounded like…you?

“Satoru if you don’t wake up I’m feedin’ your boots to Gege.”

His eyes shoot open, yet his sleep-addled brain still struggles to process you standing over his bed, soft hands shaking his bare shoulders lightly. “Angel?” he rasps out. 

You huff out a laugh, “No, I’m here to drag you to hell - or close enough at least.”

Face burning at already making a fool of himself before noon, he sits up in bed, blanket sliding off to reveal his toned upper-half.

Shit, it should be illegal to casually have a body like that. 

Trying your best to avert your eyes from the dips and curves of his sculpted body, you continue, “My father’s holdin’ Rustcliffe’s annual Harvest Hoedown in a few weeks, the whole town’s gonna be there. You made it just in time for some dancing lessons.”

“What makes you think I need dancing lessons?” Satoru raises a brow playfully. You take a brief moment to admire the way his sleep-tousled hair curtains his alluring eyes, before replying in an ominous tone, “I need dancing lessons.”

Wow, you really did need dancing lessons, Satoru notes as he stifles a laugh when you step on the poor instructor’s foot for the fifth time this afternoon. 

Locked in the stuffy studio, he recalls the way your father demanded that you not step one foot outside until you mastered the upbeat waltz for the hoedown - putting Satoru in charge of making sure you don’t slip away. “It’s stupid really, he’s never had a problem with me sitting out before. All because that asshat will be there…” you’d muttered hotly on the way.

Ah yes, that asshat. Sleep weighs heavily on Satoru’s eyes from riding all night long, yet his words still ring painfully in his ears. Who did he even think he was to have a chance with you? 

Well, it’s alright, Satoru will be out of this town in a few months, and you’ll marry some man of your choice that could give you everything you could ever want.

The only thing that snaps Satoru out of his overthinking tirade is the abrupt pause of the music and the heavy sigh the dance instructor lets out - clearly having taken a break for his own sake rather than yours. You shuffle sheepishly across the polished floor to where Satoru stands, “Was it worse than you thought?” you grimace.

“Well, you always do find a way to surprise me, m’lady” he teases, chuckling at your dramatic groan. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot the instructor rushing outside for a smoke. Hopefully not because of your dancing…

You scoff in defense as Satoru’s cackles grow louder - having thought the same thing. “Well, I’m sure the great Something-toru is much better on his feet.”

Instead of retorting, he steps one heavy boot onto the waxy dance floor, holding out a hand expectantly. “C’mon, I’ll show you.”

“But, there’s no music?” you raise a brow, yet you place your hand in his much larger ones. Soft, his hands were surprisingly soft. And so warm.

“Did I mention I was a great singer too?” he grins, a small dimple at the corner of his mouth as he pulls you closer. 

Shit, it was way too hot to be cooped up in a dance studio. Or maybe it was just Satoru’s hand around your waist, making your skin burn through your heavy skirts. They flow around you as he glides you gently across the floor. 

You train your eyes steadily on your feet - partly out of necessity, and partly out of fear of meeting Satoru’s intense gaze.

The only sounds filling the small studio were the squeaks of your boots and Satoru’s soft humming of a nonexistent tune. It was beautiful, his voice. It reminded you of calm summer days. 

“Ah- sorry!” you panic as you step on his toe, only for him to pause his melody and huff out a laugh.

“Step on them as much as you want, m’boots are thick.”

You’re sure he meant this only to bate your embarrassment, but something about his words and the warm endearment in his gaze have your cheeks heating up. You focus on your steps in silence as he guides you patiently, tenderly.

Pride grows in your chest as you start stepping on his boots every six steps instead of two. Satoru seems to have noticed too, “Hey! You’ve improved, m’lady.” he whispers, as if afraid to break the stillness in that humid room as you two continue your silent dance. 

Loud clapping from the doorway makes you two jump apart, shattering the serene bubble you’ve found refuge in. “Brilliant! I thought I’d come across my first hopeless case, yet you’ve worked absolute wonders Mr. Satoru!”

Your escape is quick, you urgently drag Satoru out the door before he can be forcibly recruited as a dance teacher. 

You heave out a sigh of relief at your freedom from the treacherous clutches of the dance studio. Merciless sunlight stinging your face, you begin to make your way through the dusty hustle and bustle of Rustcliffe in the afternoon. 

Now, all you had to do was avoid bumping into your father for the rest of the day and you should be fine!

Speed-walking by Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon, you’re confused when you’re faced with a few more drunken stares than usual. Surely your new skirt can’t be that flattering?

With a jolt, you realize you’re still grasping Satoru’s warm hand in his. Dropping it as if it burned, your cheeks heat up at the mirth on his features. “Not that I’m complainin,” he grins, “but warn a guy next time you manhandle him. S’not good for the heart, m’lady.”

Rolling your eyes at his joke, you begin pointing out the things to see as you walk the familiar old roads of Rustcliffe, detailing the town gossip.

It really was not good for his heart, Satoru was sure he’ll drop dead very soon one of these days because of you. 

He couldn’t rip his eyes off of you as you animatedly talked about granny Wei wrestling Mrs. Davidson for her secret brownie recipe. 

Shit, he was really getting in too deep.

Night falls fast, a deep shade of blue. 

Saying your goodbyes to Nanami at Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon - at a time you knew your father wouldn’t be around - your heart swells as Satoru excitedly rambles about “Good ol’ Nanamin! What a chip off the old block, we became fast friends y’know?”

You didn’t expect your mission to avoid your father to turn into an impromptu Rustcliffe tour. But watching Satoru’s face light up as you told him silly little stories of your childhood, you wouldn’t have changed it one bit. 

Sent off with a cheery “Come back soon deary!”, you’re exhausted by the time you say all your goodbyes to the people of the town.

“You’re loved, y’know?” Satoru speaks up out of nowhere as you steady yourself behind him on the saddle. 

“Hm?” you ask, fatigued from spending the day walking around town. A large hand caresses your cheek to rest your head against his back, tightening your arms around his waist.

Lightly snapping the reins, he repeats, “You’re loved.” 

You drift on his words gently to sleep, the clip-clop! of the horse matching the deafening beat of your heart against your ribcage. If only you could be like this forever.

SLAM! 

You wake up with a start, only to find yourself…hovering? Surely there must be a valid explanation - you really didn’t feel like doing an exorcism right now.

It takes a while of your nonsense to realize you’re being carried by strong arms supporting your back and legs. 

“S-Satoru?” you ask blearily. 

“Shhh, forgive me, m’lady. Didn’t think that damn door would be so loud.” he responds, bed creaking under his weight as he softly sets you down. 

Smiling down at your incoherent mumbles, he whispers softly “It’s alrigh’, you can rest now. Goodnight m’lady.”

Struggling to rip his gaze from your gracefully sleep-addled one, it’s only the thought of someone in the house catching him in this position that makes him stand up. 

A hand - uncharacteristically swift - grasps his wrist, stopping his tip-toeing to the door. “Satoru…” your groggy call of his name sends shivers down his spine. Hesitatingly following the gentle pull of your hand, he kneels beside your bed.

“Yes, m’lady?” he breathes.

You surge forward, sleep hazing the practical side of your mind. Acting on pure instinct, your soft lips meet his. 

Satoru freezes in surprise as a beat passes. One. Two.

He stays in the same position when you flop back onto your pillow, soft snores filling the otherwise pin-drop silence. His lips burn as he brings up a hand to touch them in disbelief, stifling an euphoric laugh.

You startle awake in the middle of the night, after some questionable dream about Satoru carrying you to the bed and you kissing him.  

Imagine. Ha! 

Settling back into where you were carefully tucked into bed, you snuggle the warm coat at your side. 

Wait. Shit.

---

If either of you remembered what happened that night, neither of you mentioned it. 

Oftentimes, you questioned whether it was a dream. The only thing keeping you from fully believing so being the intensity in Satoru’s stare whenever his eyes briefly flickered to your lips and the hasty retreats whenever it seemed like you would bring up the topic. 

But why wasn’t he saying anything? And why did he not want you to?

In fear of messing up the comfortable camaraderie you two had, you continued this magnetic dance of normalcy. But honestly could you really consider it “normal” if each gaze was charged with something neither of you could describe?

But why wasn’t he saying anything? And why did he not want you to?

You could only imagine the worst.

Satoru thinks he’s died and gone to heaven.  Well, probably a bit below heaven, because - ideally - there you’d be his wife and Gege would actually like him. 

It’s alright, even if just for a sleep-hazed second, he was yours. And he didn’t want to hear you apologize for it.

Still riding the euphoria of that brief kiss, he goes about life as usual, sure that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels.

---

“WELCOME ALL TO RUSTCLIFFE ANNUAL HARVEST HOEDOWN! WE GOT HARVEST, WE GOT HORSES, WE GOT SOME HOE- Oh- what? yes, dear that was on my script…” your father’s voice bellows across town from the loudspeaker. 

You breathe in the warm, candy-scented air, fairy lights illuminating the colorful stalls selling everything from candied apples to binoculars (“Spy On Your Neighbors Without Worry!”). 

Place ringing with the bustle and chatter of the town, you think it feels like something out of a picture book.

A warm smile finds its way onto your face, you’ve loved the Harvest Hoedown since you were a kid. Here, you can forget the longing for something more, the rows at home about your looming engagement, and most of all - you can almost forget Satoru.

Ever since that kiss, you’ve found it hard to face him. Sure, the banter and half-joking schemes to murder Naoya are the same. But your heart clenches every time he looks at you with a tender melancholy, losing the words to apologize for taking advantage of his kindness.

“Come come! It’s startin’!” you hear gleefully from your left. Before you can register what’s happening, you’re pulled into a circle of bodies dancing to an upbeat tune. 

Laughter bubbling out of you as you lose yourself in the song, you turn to your right and see…your dance instructor, who is very visibly (and audibly) praying for his feet. Dramatic. You’ve learned a lot recently with Satoru’s help.

Oh, there he is again. For someone that leaves place so swiftly, he sure is set on living permanently in your mind.

Hidden amongst the audience, Satoru cackles at the distress on Mr. Dance Instructor’s face. Little did he know, with a bit of Satoru’s magic you’ve improved - stepping on his toes only once every fifteen steps! 

He was so proud of his girl.

Ah, except you’re not. You’re so much more. And he’s reminded of that every time you averted your eyes from his during dance lessons, the proximity of your bodies doing nothing for how out of reach you felt to him. 

He rips his gaze from you, walking away from the growing crowd. Where was that damn drinks table again?

It’s past twelve as the townsfolk start pairing up for the hoedown couples dancing. You’ve usually sat this one out, not one for the complicated steps nor the intimacy.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spy your parents waltzing in their own world. How nice it must be. Your supposed asshat of a dance partner was over by the drinks talking with some men, barely looking your way.

Guess the dance lessons were for nothing. Frustrated and slightly tipsy, you move to make your way off the dance floor. 

Suddenly, a large hand blocks your view of the exit. Who the- 

Satoru.

Ears tinged a pretty red, and eyes slightly dazed, he hiccups over the rich music “Would you- dance with me, m’lady?”

Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the way his face flushed your favorite delicate pink - but you slide your hand into his warm one, “I’d be honored to, Satoru.” 

A strong arm pulling you flush against his body, faces only inches apart. His hot breath fans you as Satoru murmurs, “Looked s’beautiful tonight. Best dancer in town I’d say.”

“Only cuz’ of you, Satoru.” you chuckle at his genuine tone as he steers you across the dance floor. Feet in perfect sync, the waltz fades into the background as you look into his tired eyes. 

“Nah, tha’s all you, m’lady. I’m nothing much.” he grins morosely. 

Your brows furrow at his words, clearly something was wrong. And this wasn’t the place to talk about it. “Come with me.” you utter, pulling him along with you to a place you knew he’d love. 

Little ol’ Rustcliffe wasn’t called that for nothing. 

The air is tense, the chatter of crickets fill the silence between you two as you guide him to your haven, hand still tightly in his. It’s a steep walk uphill from the outskirts of town, a place you’d stumbled upon during one dashing attempt to escape from this town as a tween.

“Finally here.” you exhale as you reach your destination, fireflies lighting the way. 

“Hah- If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were tryin’ to murder-” Satoru’s voice dies in his throat as he drinks in the view before him. 

The twinkling lights of the entire town of Rustcliffe reflect in his eyes like constellations. Townsfolk barely discernible from this distance, yet the soft jovial music carried over. It was beautiful. 

Satoru looks at you in awe as you lay down on the ground and point upwards, “Tha’s not all, cowboy.”

Quickly getting on the ground beside you - albeit at a safe distance - his mouth gapes wider at the perfect carpet of stars above him. A celestial version of what he saw below. He turns his head to see you bathed in the moonlight. This place was beautiful.

“Satoru, are we okay?‘ you voice out in concern. He’s taken aback by the sudden turn in conversation. You cut off his scramble to make a joke, “I’m serious. Please talk to me.”

He can never win against you.

Heaving out a sigh, “Maybe. Who knows. But whatever it is, please don’t apologize for that kiss, let me have it.”

Now it’s your turn to be surprised, “Let you have it? Satoru, why wouldn’t you have it?” 

“M’lady, I don’t know if you’re aware, but you’re like fireworks. Captivating and fierce. That kiss was a mistake, and soon enough you’ll find a rich, handsome-”

“I only want you.”

“I’m leaving soon.” he retorts. 

“I only want you.” you repeat, stubbornly.

“I’m leaving m’lady.” he argues.

“No- Satoru-”

“And I’m childish. I’m insecure. I’ll never be able to provide for you the way you deserve.” he plows on, emotion cracking his voice.

“Satoru, I love you.” you breathe out. 

Satoru’s breath catches in his throat, the silence was deafening. “What was that?” he turns, voice quiet with disbelief.

“Well, I don’t know if you’re aware, cowboy, but you’re like blue summer skies. And I just so happen to love blue summer skies.” you huff out, finally understanding the reason for his behavior these past few weeks. 

“I don’t expect a huge mansion, or some enormous ranch, or even a cowboy that knows the difference between a lasso and a rattlesnake. I just don’t want anyone else, Satoru.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.”

“And…you’re sure? Really sure?”

“Yes.”

Silence punctures your conversation once more, broken only by a loud cackle. You turn in disbelief at his change in demeanor, “All cheered up now, Satoru?”

“Why would you have feelings for me? Was it the tumbleweed story that did it for you?” he gets out through laughs. It was contagious, and soon enough you yourself joined him, clutching your stomach.

In the thoughtful silence that follows, you find yourself inching closer to him until your faces are mere centimeters apart. “Blue summer skies and fireworks don’t go too well together.” he breathes. 

“We’ll make something work out, remember?” you hum. 

Your first kiss with Satoru was a sleep-addled mistake. 

The second was when his lips capture yours as if they were the source of life itself. 

Rolling on top of you, he’s careful to not rest his full weight as his lips don’t leave you, tongue caressing yours. Satoru tastes sweet - like hard candy and your father’s bottle of Baileys. Pulling away a hair's breadth, he whispers against your lips, “Let me be yours?”

“You probably say this to all the girls, hm?” you tease him, as revenge for making you wait so long. He softly bites your lips in retaliation, relishing in your drawn-out whine. “Yes, fine. If only you’ll let me be yours.”

Clearly approving of your answer, he continues his dance with your lips. Barely parting to breathe, as if it hurt to leave you.

And it did. A low groan sounds from the back of his throat as Satoru kisses you with the desperation from these past few weeks. His hands stayed firmly cupping your face, as if scared to move elsewhere. Yours, however, was wandering the expanse of his back, and it was driving him insane. 

“M’lady…” he breathes out at the feeling of your legs wrapping around his hips, a warning. 

You knew where this was going and you don’t know if you’ve wanted anything so bad. “Satoru, I need you.” you mutter, words punctuated by pecks to his swollen lips. 

Maybe that’s the trigger that sets him off. It’s not long before Satoru is kissing you again. Pinning down your arms with one hand, he rolls his hips into yours. You gasp as you feel the outline of his hard cock straining against his trousers. 

He was so big.

Your pussy drips with anticipation and fear of what was about to come. 

Satoru thinks he might be getting whiplash, how was it that an hour ago he was moping in his loneliness and now he’s got you underneath him? Silently thanking whoever was up there, he wanders a hand down your body. Fingers trailing teasingly above where you wanted him the most.

“Tell me what you want, m’lady.” he rasps. Now Satoru is sure he’s getting whiplash when you grind your hips up into his hand, whining “Need you- on me.”

Skirts hastily pushed up, Satoru shuffles so his face is right hovering right above your pulsing core. In the cool moonlight, he can see the way you get wetter at each hot breath on your cunt. “Please Satoru.” 

You were not good for his heart. Surging forward so he’s nose-deep in your pussy, Satoru’s tongue flattens against your swollen folds. His eyes roll to the back of his at your taste. You tasted better than the candy at the hoedown.

Your desperate whines for more send blood rushing to his cock, twitching achingly against his trousers. Leisurely dipping between your folds, he watches with blown-out eyes as you grind your hips deeper into his face, keeping a firm grip on his soft locks. Using him.

Shit, if this was your reaction to him teasing you…

Your whimpers of pleasure and lewd squelches of your cunt  fill the night air as he plunges his tongue inside your clenching hole, fucking you at a merciless rhythm. His brows furrow as his tongue dips in and out relentlessly. He sinfully loves the burn of his scalp as you pull his hair to angle him just right. 

Thumb harshly circling your clit, Satoru thinks he loses a bit of his sanity at every moan of his name that leaves your pretty mouth. “You taste s’good. So perfect for me, m’lady.” his voice sends vibrations to your pussy that have you feeling your heartbeat banging in two places.

“Hngh- Satoru, don’ stop!” you mewl as his nose catches on your clit, clamping down on his tongue. He continues his movements, breathing you in so sinfully. Air was overrated - Satoru Gojo, famously daring traveler and devilishly handsome, dies here between your legs. He wouldn’t even mind.

“Cum in my mouth, m’lady. Please.” he begs, voice muffled by your dripping cunt. He locks eyes with your fucked out ones as he pulls you by the thighs impossibly closer to him. He never wanted to part.

The stimulation of his voice in addition to his fingers and tongue becomes too much. “Satoru! Hah-  M’ gonna cum-”

Tears spring to your eyes as you cum all around Satoru’s tongue. He doesn’t let up his harsh abuse of your pulsing pussy, groaning as he laps up your juices - your slick pooling at the corner of his mouth. 

He was so greedy for you. Shit, this is so much better than he’s imagined every night he’s fucked his fist in that lonely room.

As both of you attempt to catch your breaths, the chattering song of crickets and distant music from the Harvest Hoedown fill the air once more. Satoru looks at you with a devious glint in his eyes that has your cunt twitching once more. 

You’d felt his rock-hard length. And you wanted it now.

“Satoru. let me feel you in my mouth, please.” you murmur. Kneeling before him, you look up at him with eager eyes. At his slow nod, you give an experimental squeeze to the large imprint of his cock, thighs rubbing together at Satoru’s drawn-out hiss. 

“Oh, m’lady. You drive me insane.” he groans. 

Cursing the heavy trousers that cowboys wear, you fumble it down his legs. Muscles, creamy thighs come into your view, making your mouth water. 

In the dim lighting, you see the precum drip down Satoru’s flushed cock. The prominent vein down his side glistens prominently. Shit, he’d never fit in your mouth let alone your cunt. But you wanted it so bad.

Satoru’s heavy breaths sound in the still air as your bruised lips inch closer to his throbbing cock. A deep breath, and you spit on his blushing head, saliva dripping down the side of his length and to where you gently grasped his base. 

It was filthy, it was debauched. You absolutely loved it.

Satoru lets out a strangled moan as you flatten your tongue and take his tip into your mouth, sucking gently. He bucks his hips into your mouth as you run your tongue along his sensitive slit “Shit- Sorry, m’lady. You’re just hah- too good.”

Popping off his aching cock, you press kisses to the side of his length. He groans lowly at the vibrations as you speak about something that has been on your mind for a while now, “Satoru, don’t you think we’re past formalities now?”

“Well, I could call you my goddess?” he smiles. “Or my angel? Or-” Satoru chokes on his words as you take him fully into your mouth - partly because you needed him to shut up, and partly because you cunt ached with need.

“Sh-shit. Jus’ like that.” he rasps as you suck him at a dizzying pace. Precum drips down the side of your mouth as you take him in deeper - nose meeting the snowy white hair on his pelvis.

Your mouth burns at the stretch, his hips grinding lightly into your mouth to meet each bob of your head. Your pussy drips once more at how desperate Satoru was.

His mouth drops open in a silent gasp as you move to take his tight balls into your mouth. You admire the dazed look in his darkened eyes. “Oh god- I’m gonna cum. Please, let me cum in your mouth, m’lady.” he murmurs, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you continue your ruthless pace.

As soon as your lips are around his cock once more, Satoru comes fast and hard with a gravelly moan. Hot spurts of his seed dribble down the corner of your mouth as you take it all in. 

Ah, this wasn’t what you had planned when you brought him here - but you sure weren’t complaining.

Satoru just about passes out when you stick out your tongue to show you’ve swallowed every drop of cum he gave, cock twitching once more. He needed you in a way that would make a hooker blush. 

Finding his voice, “As much as I’d love to ravish you right here, m’lady, I think you deserve somethin’ a bit more comfortable.” He swats at a mosquito attacking him as you grin devilishly.

---

Gege has never flown across the dry ground of Rustcliffe faster. 

Wind in your hair and Satoru’s arms warmly around your middle, you feel the thundering of his heartbeat against your back - matching your own. You admire his moonlit profile, the light casting an otherworldly glow over his cloud-like hair. You could probably go anywhere if it was by his side. 

You’ve never been happier to see that familiar ol’ ranch.

Navigating your sprawling villa, you find, is close to impossible with a relentless Satoru pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to your neck. 

“Satoru…we gotta make it to the bed.” you giggle, drunk off of him rather than the liquor from before. He sighs impatiently, before promptly lifting you off of your feet. His hat and hip holster falling to god-know-where as he runs up the stairs to your bedroom with you in his arms.

The thud of heavy boot echoes throughout the empty house - your parents still at the Harvest Hoedown. It reminds you of the night you first kissed him. As he slams your door shut and pushes you against it, however, you never in your wildest dreams would have thought that it’ll lead to this.

Tongue tangling with Satoru’s, feet still not reaching the ground. You don’t think you’ll make it out of this alive. Nor will Satoru.

Satoru is definitely not making it out alive.

He’s barely stepped a foot into your bedroom before he’s got his hands all over you - groping and teasing every inch of your body he can find. Your legs wrapped around him, he holds you in the air, hands roughly squeezing your ass.

His lips don’t leave yours, tasting himself on your tongue - even as he bunches your skirts around your hips. Exhaling in relief as his hands meet your bare lips, he holds a finger to your pulsing core.

You whimper at the feeling, still sensitive from before. He drinks in your mewls of pain and pleasure, lips curling into a smug smile. “Still sensitive, m’lady? You poor thing. How will you take my cock if yer’ like this?” 

Your groan of impatience turns into a panicked whine as Satoru moves towards the bed, “Maybe we should tuck you in bed for now? Continue this tomorrow?” 

Reading the challenge in his eyes, you immediately free yourself from his hold. His confused gaze soon turns into a surprised one as you push him roughly onto the bed, straddling him after.

“You always do surprise me.” he laughs out between the magnetic kisses you leave on his lips. Buttons fling across the room as you rip his shirt in impatience - fingers too dripping in lust to work through them. You’re sure if the same could be done to your heavy prairie skirt, then it would’ve suffered a similar fate.

You run your hands along his sculpted body greedily, as you’d wanted to since the first time you saw him shirtless. He hisses at the friction and the impatience at wanting to do the same to you, fingers fumbling with your complicated clasps.

After much frustration and curses on whoever invented corsets, you’re finally exposed in front of Satoru.

Shit, he really should call you his goddess. Because in the dim lighting of your bedroom, he thinks he’s in heaven as you sit atop him, bare and needy for him. Fuck Naoya. Fuck any faceless suitable husband. Eyes half-lidded and lips kiss-bitten, you’re like this because of him. 

Grinding his now-bare hips against yours, a low groan rips from his throat at the feeling of your swollen folds spreading against his aching cock. Your dripping slick mixes with his as he continues rutting into you. 

“Ah! Enough teasin’, Satoru- Want you inside me.” you whimper sinfully. 

Your words make Satoru snap. Wordlessly, he sheaths himself inside you with a sigh of relief. Moans leave his throat unrestrained as he bullies his cock deeper and deeper inside your hot cunt. “Fuck. S’tight, your pretty pussy is suckin’ me in so good m’lady.” he hisses out, brows furrowed in pleasure.

Satoru could feel himself losing more and more of his sanity every time your plushy walls clenched down on him as he pulled out to fuck up into with harsh thrusts. It was so animalistic, the way your perfect cunt couldn’t bear to part with him. 

Your slick drips down his length and onto his heavy balls each time he rams into you at a merciless cadence. Soft yelps of his name leave your lips every time his tip kisses your cervix. 

Ah, this time he was actually going to pass out. Your pretty whines, your dripping cunt, the way your tits jiggled so enticingly at each thrust - it was all too much. 

Angling you slightly with his bruising grip on your hips, Satoru smiles with satisfaction at that one spot that makes you convulse on his cock. Abs burning at the pace, he hits it over and over. Your nails dig into the muscle of his shoulder, moans of his name leaving you against your will. 

You were sure to be absolutely covered in marks tomorrow. 

But that was a problem for later you. Right now, all you could focus on was grinding your hips down to meet Satoru’s thrusts, eager for him to hit that spot even harder. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the painfully good stretch of your snug cunt. So full. 

“K-keep going, Satoru. Don’ stop, please.” Your rickety bed creaks in protest at each relentless thrust, overpowered only by the stinging smacks of his balls against your ass. 

It was so filthy. So debauched. And you absolutely loved it.

As Satoru’s hands sneak down to draw rough circles on your clit, you feel yourself getting closer and closer towards cumming. Leaning down to capture his lips with yours once more, you whisper against his mouth, “Satoru, I’m- Hngh-” 

He connects his sweaty forehead with yours, “Mm. me too. Fuck, gonna fill this pretty pussy up. You want that, m’lady?”

Just the thought of being so full of Satoru sends you over the edge. You cum with a lewd moan of his name, cunt clenching so impossibly tight around his cock. 

“Ah! Shit.” Satoru grits out at the way your walls were fluttering around him so perfectly. Your whimpers as you gush around him sounds like music to his ears. 

Satoru thinks he sees heaven as he cums. A part of his soul parting with him that night. Thick ropes of his seed paint your walls white, strained whispers of your name leaving his mouth as if a prayer. As if you were his goddess. 

A feral part of him keeps bucking his hips into you, letting you ride out your highs together. Fucking his cum deeper and deeper - claiming you as his.

You do the same in your own way - biting down on Satoru’s exposed neck. Hard. His strong arms wrap around you to keep you from moving away, letting you use him as you please. 

Cum drips down your legs, staining your blanket. 

As your highs finally bate, you blink out the haze from your eyes. Looking up at Satoru from where you were snuggled into the crook of his neck, admiring the innocent blush adorning his face and his glossy, bruised lips. Both of you so overstimulated and euphoric.

“Got any travel stories like this?” you chuckle out, half-delirious and exhausted from what just transpired in this room. 

“Not at all.” Satoru breathes out, pulling you closer to him, closing his hazy eyes to the sex-filled air. 

That night, squeezed into your warm single bed, Satoru tells you stories of before his travels. You’re unsure if your parents are home yet, and right now with Satoru in your arms - you don’t care.

You listen as he rambles about growing up in the quaint town of Summer Pass. How he was raised with beautiful parents, a wonderful life. Yet, since the passing of his best friend, he’d taken up what the two had been dreaming of since they were children - wandering the world. 

“I’m afraid, if I stay too long then it always ends up hurtin’.” he whispers into the still night. Caressing his hair, you pull him into your warm embrace. Your heart weighs heavy as the back of your mind pangs with the realization that Satoru will still leave despite this.

Both of you fall asleep reminiscing talks of your childhoods. In your exhausted state, maybe you misheard - but you could’ve sworn by the “I love you, m’lady.” Satoru whispered against your lips right before you closed your eyes. 

Limbs intertwined till you’re unsure where one ends and the other starts, you have the most peaceful sleep in a long time.

You’re unsure when Satoru snuck out of your room. The only evidence of last night being the washcloth on your bedside table that he’d tenderly cleaned you up with, and a singular button from his shirt at the foot of your bed. 

Cheeks heating once you catch sight of it, you make your way down to breakfast in your most well-covered dress. 

What you certainly didn’t expect was to be interrogated by your mother. “So…” she begins. ”When did you come home, darling? We didn’t see you at the hoedown after midnight.”

Ah, suddenly these scrambled eggs just did not want to go down your throat. “Jus’...went to see somethin’ interesting.” you respond, eyes meeting with Satoru’s amused ones across the table as he subtly plays footsies with you underneath.

---

Sneaking around with a secret cowboy boyfriend doesn’t just happen in books, you realize. It’s a lot easier since Naoya is around a lot more often than usual. The only thing he might be good for may be keeping your parents entertained…

Since then, Satoru, you conclude, really does not like L-words: namely, Love and Leaving.

Despite his breathless confession that night, Satoru hasn’t said anything more about his feelings towards you - nor when he’ll be leaving. 

It’s okay, you have time. You console yourself, as you lay in bed with him after he’d snuck into your room as per usual, pulling his warm presence closer to yours. But Satoru’s inevitable departure looms closer and closer like a dark cloud above your head. 

It’s only two months after that night, when you’ve retreated from another engagement conversation you shut down, that Satoru brings it up. Hands intertwined and watching the sunset on top of your father’s barn, he utters in an uncharacteristically grave tone “I planned to leave next week, m’lady.” 

Your heart pricks at his words. You knew this was coming. 

Clenching your fists in self-assurance, your words tumble out.

“Let me come with you.”

“Let me stay with you.”

The nostalgic lullaby of the world around you is deafening as you and Satoru reel back in synchronized surprise. 

“You- stay?”

“Wait- huh?”

Brow raised, you gesture at him to continue. “I just- I thought maybe I could stay here. Build a life with you, if you’d like, m’lady.” 

Your eyes widen in surprise. Satoru - who smiles brightest when talking of his tales of travel - was offering to settle down?

“W-what? Satoru, why would you? You love traveling.” you sputter out in disbelief. His smile grows, as does the warmth in his eyes. “I’ve found something I love a lot more.” he murmurs, with a playful bite to the crook of your neck.

You crack a smile at his sincerity, though you shake your head in disagreement. “You should be out there explorin’ the world, Satoru. And…I want to be right by your side.”

“I thought you loved this place?”

“I do.” you sigh. “But I feel so trapped.”

Resting your head on Satoru’s shoulders, you admit how dear Rustcliffe is to you - although oftentimes you try to deny it - and how you want to leave just as much. 

The stars wink at you two mischievously by the time you’re done, a twinkle that matches the look in Satoru’s eyes as he announces, “So~ We run away together in a blaze of glory. End scene, credits roll, Gege win’s best actor.”

“Exactly. Although I prefer the term unannounced relocation.” you hum, relishing in his bark of laughter. “Now, c’mon, cowboy. We gotta get up early for that damn election rally tomorrow.”

Heading back home as inconspicuous as possible is always tedious. In addition to praying away your swollen lips, you head in innocently at different times. 

Hurriedly greeting your housekeeper, you attempt to make a swift escape to your room. Only to be blocked by…Naoya?

“We meet again, sweetcheeks.” he smiles, stepping closer towards you. Determined to stand your ground, you stare menacingly up at him. “Hello, my apologies for being so unavailable to meet these days. Business, y’know.” your voice steady.

“Ah, yes. I know.” he hums dangerously. Looming closer to your face, you smell the tobacco on his breath as he mutters, “It’s no matter, your father and I have gone through with our conversations. You and I will announce our engagement tomorrow at your father’s rally. That is final.”

“I’ve talked with you about this, I’ve screamed at you about this. I will not marry you no matter what my father nor anyone else says.” you grit out through clenched teeth. 

“Why? Got anyone in mind? Think it’ll be anyone else your father approves of?” he raises a brow, delicately raising the neckline of where your dress had dripped down - where Satoru had nipped before.

He knows.

“Not at all.” you smile sweetly. Not waiting for a response, you run upstairs. Seems like running away in a blaze of glory might have to hurry up.

Twisting and turning the entire night, you don’t get a wink of sleep, mind a whirlwind of how you’d get Satoru and run away before the announcement.

It was terrifying.

---

Parading around town in an itchy engagement dress under the boiling sun on your father’s collection of purebred Italian horses (+ Gege) wasn’t exactly how you wanted to spend an ideal morning. But it wasn’t the worst.

You snuck glances at Satoru riding in front of you, looking devastatingly handsome as ever. 

Naoya had been terrifyingly quiet all morning. You could feel his penetrating stare on you, scrutinizing every movement and every conversation. He rides beside you - your soon-to-be husband.

As the procession ends at your father’s podium, where he proudly takes a stand. As he plows on with an inspirational speech that has the audience in cheers, your mind runs a mile a minute as you slip away from the stage. Even in your gauzy white dress, it’s easy to get lost in the animated crowds of Rustcliffe - which you and Satoru use to your advantage.

This was happening. You were going to finally leave. 

Heart clenching at the sight of your jovial parents onstage, you take a long look before turning away. It’s okay, it’s alright. This is something you’ve been wanting for years. 

Brain whirring at the letters you’d send them on your travels, you miss the harsh gaze following you. 

“Satoru!” you gasp at the blur of white and black that embraces you as soon as you step foot into Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon. The bar, empty for the first time in years since your father’s last rally, was your hastily chosen place of refuge.

Nanami, who wasn’t initially too keen on being involved, had sympathized once he saw the look on your face. “Alright, but if anyone asks - you two were never here. Not too good for business, y’know.” he’d stated, permitting you two to do whatever you please. 

Although, it probably was worth noting that he’d almost taken it back once Satoru tackled him into a hug with a joyful squeal of “Nanamiiiin~!”

“C’mon now. I’ve got our bags saddled on Gege. We’ll leave immediately.” Satoru voices, snapping you out of your reminiscing. Rushing to give Nanami a farewell hug, your heart lurches as he whispers “Goodbye. Promise you’ll write.” 

This was really happening.

Nodding in promise, you finally turn to the open door and step into the dusty sunlight. Satoru leads you to where Gege is impatiently waiting for your quick getaway. You could almost laugh at the sheer exhilaration coursing through your veins. 

You were going to get out.

You grip onto Satoru’s shoulder for support as he circles his arms around you to lift you onto the seat, slightly shaking at the intoxicating adrenaline. 

You were finally going to be free. 

“Leavin’ so soon, sweetcheeks?” a chilling voice slices through the air. One that you know way too well. Your heart stops, as does Satoru’s hands in midair - before he sets you down slowly.

Body moving against your will, you turn to the deceivingly sweet voice behind you. Naoya.

A cold sweat breaks out across Satoru’s forehead. 

He stares down Naoya’s hand hovering over the holster at his hip. “I knew there was something off about you, barn boy. You think I’d be outmatched by someone like you?” he hisses, resentment poisoning every word.

Satoru does what he does arguably the best, “Oh c’mon asshat, don’t be so melodramatic. We’re just going on a little adventure.” he smirks.

“Don’t I know of these adventures.” Naoya spits out. 

Agonizingly slow, Naoya draws his gun. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife as the three of you stand frozen, searing sun casting eerie shadows across the desolate road. 

BANG!

Naoya’s first shot tears through the deafening silence. Narrowly missing the bullet, Gege whinnies in fear before running off to safety. Satoru skillfully maneuvers you two into the shadowy alleyway beside Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon.

In the blink of an eye, he presses you close to the dust-bitten wall as he pulls out his gun. “Stay here.” he gasps out.  

With lightning speed, Satoru retaliates - firing back-to-back shots at Naoya with a speed and precision that has him scrambling for cover behind a barrel. 

The gunfire echoes throughout the quiet town, these familiar streets becoming a battleground. Despite both parties shooting from their impromptu covers, neither are invincible. 

A stray bullet harshly grazes his arm, blood painting the ground a deep crimson. Fuck, this really burned like a motherfucker. But he was still alive - he still had to protect you. 

The standoff intensifies, stray bullets flying off in every direction. They splinter holes through the rustic shop banners. You could only be thankful that the town was at the rally, confident you’d never forgive yourself if anyone died on this road today.

Satoru fires off shots with uncanny accuracy, years of defending himself on the road coming in handy. Yet, he was losing blood. So much blood. He realizes with a jolt that his vision was slowly blurring. 

Breaths labored and slumping forward against the wall, he aims one last shot at Naoya. Fuck. Shit. Dear lord, if you’re up there, please don’t let my love die here. 

A finger pulls the trigger. The bullet flies through the air as if in slow-motion. 

It hits metal.

Naoya’s gun flies through the air, clattering onto the sun-scorched ground as he is finally disarmed. The beginnings of a grin curl Satoru’s lips before he heaves out a heavy sigh. Eyes closing and body collapsing forward, the last thing ringing in his ears being your harrowed scream.

“No no no no. Satoru please.” sobs wreck your throat as your hands frantically check for Satoru’s pulse. In your panicked state of mind, you barely register the crunch of gravel nearing towards you two. 

“Shit. The fuck is it that you even want?” that dreaded voice sounds ominously in your ears. “To travel? I can fuckin’ take you places.” 

Sagging on the saloon wall for support, Naoya clutches his bleeding side as he observes the two of you. In an instant, you’re in front of Satoru’s body protectively, hand steady on his discarded gun pointed right at Naoya’s head. 

“Leave, before I shoot your brains out..” you threaten, voice deceptively steady.

“I thought I could be the one to break you - the mayor’s wildchild daughter. But why the fuck do you put yourself through this?” he continues, voice strained with anger. 

“Because he is the one I want. I refuse your proposal, and I am not sorry for it. Now leave.” 

You were standing up now, the cool metal of the barrel pressed firmly to his forehead. Finger hovering above the trigger.

“I believe the lady said to leave.” Nanami’s voice startles you both. His normally stoic face was etched with anger. 

Despite his injuries, Naoya manages to glare at Nanami. But, realizing the odds are against him, he backs away, but not before venomously promising “This ain’t over, sweetcheeks.”

He leaves a bloody trail as he limps out of sight.

“Told you this wasn’t good for business.” Nanami sighs at the chaos. With Nanami’s help, you carry Satoru inside - body moving on instinct as your mind races to process everything that happened. 

The empty bar now serves as an improvised hospital. Laying Satoru down on a table that acts as a makeshift bed, propping his feet up in a desperate attempt to recirculate his blood. You desperately tear the intricate of your engagement dress into bandages, hurriedly wrapping it around his injured arm.

The atmosphere is taut, air once thick with the stench of alcohol now reeking of blood and the dusty antiseptic Nanami had brought to you from the very back of his shelves. The methodic ticking of the bar clock sounds like gunshots to your ears.

His reassuring presence is probably what keeps you sane as you stare unmovingly at your hands, stained a dark red from the blood seeping through Satoru’s clothes. 

You must have been sitting there for hours. Maybe even days. Or it might have even been just a few minutes.

All you know is a flash of blue, and you’re surging forward, heart racing. “Satoru?! Satoru! Please say something.” you cry out, tears streaming down your face once more. Nanami quietly makes his exit to the back, leaving the two lovers to their privacy.

“Satoru.” you breathe out, relief flooding your body and a smile forcing its way onto your face as Satoru’s half-lidded eyes meet your worried ones. 

“M’lady.” he whispers weakly. His uninjured arm shakily cups your cheek, and you lean into his warm touch. “I would never have forgiven myself if I left you alone, m’lady.” he rasps, eyes boring into yours. “Couldn’t have fought off the tumbleweeds yourself.”

You let out a watery laugh. There he is, the man you love.

“I love you, Satoru.” you speak in a hushed tone, as if anything louder will throw you back into your nightmare. His smile grows, blue summer eyes flooding with silent tears. 

“I love you, too. So, so much. Wherever you go s’ where I belong, my love.” he utters words meant for you - and only you. 

Your heart swells at the indescribable emotion on his face. “Then, rest well. We have to make our getaway in a blaze of glory, remember?” 

It wasn’t a blaze of glory, more like a teary trail of apologies and thanks as you embrace Nanami farewell - for the second time today. He hugs Satoru too, but only begrudgingly after he bemoans about being on the brink of death any second now. 

You step outside once more, hands shaky at what awaits you. 

In the distance, you hear a frantic call of your name. You turn, only to have your parents barreling emotionally into you. 

Word seems to have spread around town about what had happened, and your parents were first to come to you - your father running off midspeech. 

Through your hurried stream of tears and recollections of what happened, you managed to bawl out “I-I’m so-”

Words which are quickly hushed by your equally emotional parents. “Please don’ apologize.” your mother soothes.

“If anything, I should. I’m so sorry for tryin’ to coop you up here, my dear. I was a scared, insolent man. S’hard to not see you as my little girl, I hope you can forgive me, my darling.” your father sighs shakily. He looks a lot older than you remember him.

Grabbing both your parents into a tight embrace, you whisper out the words “I love you, and I promise to write.” 

With a final hug goodbye from your parents - to both you and Satoru, you take a seat in front of him on the now-calm Gege. 

“Ready m’lady?” you send a teasing glance at Satoru, who positively swoons overdramatically.

“Oh yes, Mr. Brave n’ Handsome cowboy.” he responds in a theatrically high falsetto. “Travelin’ the world won’t be all sunshines and rainbows, y’know? If you want a way out now then jus’ say the word.” he warns in his normal voice.

“Trynna get rid of me already, cowboy?” you raise a brow playfully. He wraps his arms securely around your waist. “Just sayin’, wouldn’t want you to regret a single thing.” he murmurs softly.

“I won’t. As long as we win against those tumbleweeds, right?”

Huffing out a laugh, “Can’t promise ya that, my love. You’ll jus’ have to take a chance on me.”

The snap of reins. A last look at your waving parents, and your little town of Rustcliffe. You ride into the horizon with your white dress billowing behind you - on what you and Satoru would later consider blazing glory. 

---

“Didya hear about the mayor’s daughter? Last I heard, she was kidnapped by a rogue cowboy a couple years back, snatched her straight off her feet on her wedding day!”

“Hogwash! I heard she went quite willingly - the boy was quite a looker, you see. Stabbed her fiancé in his sleep before riding off into the sunset!”

Nanami stifles a laugh at the scandalized gasps echoing around the table as the old drunkards run the gossip mill. 

In a subtle motion, he discreetly tucks away a photograph, its back adorned with enthusiastic handwriting and a…hoofprint? 

Taj Mahal sprawling in the backdrop, two identical heads of white hair grin mischievously in the photo. 

Yet, yours takes center stage.

A/N. Did this in two days, anything is possible kids (I need to lie down). Reblogs are so so so appreciated.

Plagiarism not authorized.

[6sakusa]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄

𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

Synopsis: In which you’re a dancer for the world renowned band Paradis’ tour & the leader and golden boy Eren Jaeger has taken quite a liking to you, he’s been waiting to get his hands on you, for months. It looks like today is his lucky day.

This is based on my rockstar!eren headcanons which you can also read here.

CW: Heavy smut, dry humping, oral, penetration, mentions of virginity loss, hints of infidelity, Eren being manipulative & toxic.

A/N: Take this as a thank you for 1000 followers!

“Y/n, Jaeger’s here for you again.” Nanaba, your dance couch for Paradis’ tour points behind her with a slack expression on her face. She’s clearly unimpressed by the brunette devil sporting a smirk on his lips, his beautifully deep teal eyes drag to yours in such amusement that you almost wish you could read his mind. His hair is tied back in his signature style of course — albeit the stray hairs that somehow frame his face perfectly and God you could talk about those eyelashes for days. If there was one thing you knew about the lead vocal for Paradis it was that he was beautiful and admittedly every time he got you out of dance practice it felt wrongly exciting.

“You know you can’t keep stealing my best dancer right? I kinda need her to know the choreography for your songs.” She turns to face him, there’s a dangerous smile lingering on his lips while his hands are pushed deeply into his pockets.

“Just this once.” He promises, it’s a lie and that shouldn’t surprise you.

“That’s what you say everytime.” Nanaba rolls her eyes, “What do you want her for anyway?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He lets out a breathy laugh while leaning against the wall behind him, something lights up in his eyes as you walk over though you and Nanaba share the same expression, unimpressed.

“She’s right.” You back the head choreographer for two reasons. 1) She’s extremely scary when she wants to be, the majority of that includes the next time she sees you after Eren pulls you away. 2) You’d already missed a countless amount of practices due to the boy anyway. Though it was hard to say no, not when he was the sole reason you were on this tour anyway. Besides, Nanaba knows what he says goes, he’s not necessarily her superior but the second Paradis’ star boy starts whining about how he doesn’t like her she’d be gone, that wasn’t something she could afford.

“You’re good at what you do.” He says, pushing himself off the wall. He’s so convinced you’ll come with him because he knows you, you’re friends at this point and that means you’re aware that he never takes no for an answer. “So you’ll have no problem catching up.”

“Come on Eren—“

“Please?” He interrupts, here he goes pulling out the big guns. As if on cue a dejected expression appears on his face, he pouts slightly while gazing down at you longingly. He grabs your arm, tugging you to come along with him.

“Why are you like this?” You sigh, giving Nanaba a sorry look but how could she blame you? You were in the same boat as her, neither of you had the power to say no to Eren Jaeger, and chances are he wouldn’t let you.

As usual the other girls in practice whisper amongst themselves, always speculating between the relationships you and Eren had. The most popular theory was that you were fucking of course but as they’d told you a million times it was nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should wear it on your forehead as a sign of pride but the simple fact was that it just wasn’t true. You were friends, and he only wanted to be friends, right?

“Can’t help it.” He murmurs, dipping down so that his lips are practically grazing your earlobe, “I’m lonely without you.”

“If you keep saying stuff like that people will get the wrong idea.” You hit him lightly on the shoulder, much to his amusement.

He cracks a grin, leaning forwards so only you could catch his words. “If you don’t come with me now then I’ll definitely give them the wrong idea.” It’s a threat that he intends to go through with, you know Eren which means you know it’s never a good idea to call his bluff.

You gulp, nodding with agreement. “Okay fine but this is the last time.”

He chuckles to himself, turning on his heel. He’s already eager to get out of here. Truthfully, the only time he has any interaction with Nanaba, or any of the dancers for that matter is when he comes to watch you. He won’t lie, he’s done some fucked up things to the sight of you dancing, so much so that if he told you he’s sure you’d run for the hills but he can’t help it. Sometimes he burns your movement into his memories so he can jerk off to it the same day, the thought of you moving against him like that was exciting. However, you’ve proven that it’s harder to get into your pants than he would’ve anticipated, no wonder you were a virgin. At times he thought it was more hassle than it was worth but the moment he saw your pretty face again he was sold. He knew he had to have you.

“I’ll practice it later, I swear.” You sport your coach one last bashful smile despite the annoyed look on her face before catching up with the reason for all your troubles. Like it wasn’t hard enough being away from home touring with Paradis, to make matters worse Eren was constantly putting the few bonds you did have here with people on the rocks.

“Where are we going?”

“My dressing room.” He replies like he’s been anticipating your question, he’s got a look on his face that reminds you of an angel but you know better than that, it’s a facade.

“And why’s that?”

“Got a new strand of weed, thought you might wanna try.” He glances down at you as you fall into step besides him. He thinks this position suits you, next to him. “Unless you stopped smoking — already?” His tone is challenging and it annoys you, it annoys you because of course you’d want to prove him wrong. He’s the one that got you hooked on this shit in the first place even though you told him it wasn’t a good idea for a dancer to smoke. You needed all the stamina you could get.

“You know I haven’t.” You say meekly, your gaze falling to the ground. He loved that, loved knowing how much he’s corrupted you. Is it filthy? Maybe. Did he care? Not one bit.

He laughs lightly as you make your way through the back rooms. You’re never at one venue long enough to actually get used to the place, let alone know where you’re going. It made you wonder how much Eren would be wondering around and why? He’s probably taken countless girls to his dressing room already in less than the week you’ve been here.

Make no mistake, you’d been to his dressing room countless times before too. The difference was nothing more than friendly interactions would take place there between the two of you. Still, you found it hard to believe that Eren was just maintaining platonic relationships with all the girls he spoke to. But then why you? You couldn’t put your finger on it. You also couldn’t help the lingering thought in the back of your mind that you were unattractive, maybe he just didn’t wanna fuck you.

“How do you know these corridors so well?” You blurt out your thoughts while taking another turn.

He laughs to himself, looking away. “I like to explore.” Another lie. You weren’t sure if Eren was comfortable with lying so much because he thought you wouldn’t catch on or because he knew you would but he also knew you wouldn’t challenge it. You had a feeling it was the second one. Maybe he liked the exert this twisted sense of power over you.

Eventually, his hand turns one of the door knobs and you step into his dressing room. It’s almost the same as all the rest, almost. It has a clothing rack with whatever his stylists have decided will be best for the three performances they have here, a leather couch against the wall with a coffee table just opposite it and a mounted TV purely for his entertainment. The only difference is that this one has a bed, now that caused your eyebrow to raise a little. You knew that some nights Eren would rather sleep in his dressing room than the rowdy tour bus. You supposed he got a bed added for that reason, you couldn’t see him and all his 6ft2 glory fitting on that couch anyway.

Though, much to your surprise Connie, Jean and Armin were here. You’d had interactions with them multiple times, particularly Jean who could only be described as a flirt though you weren’t sure you would consider them to be friends. Essentially, the entire band of Paradis sat in anticipation while Jean rolled one up, it was hard to feel like you weren’t intruding on something.

“Finally.” Armin collapses onto the bed, seeing the two of you walk through the door. “You’re back.”

“What took you so long?” Jean glances over at the two of you, him and Connie are situated on the couch leaving one empty spot at the very end.

Eren points behind him at you, “Nanaba was tryna be difficult with me.”

“You know you don’t have to ask for her permission right?” Connie quirks up an eyebrow, amused by your meek demeanour.

He places a hand on your back, he’s teasing you. “She likes it when I’m polite.”

Armin chuckles, “It’s nice seeing you again y/n.” The other two nod in agreement upon eyeing you head to toe. Sometimes you didn’t understand how surreal your situation was, touring with one of the biggest bands in the world, definitely the hottest members. Somehow even befriending one of them and now you were what? Going to casually light one up with Paradis?

“Yeah, real nice.” Jean is practically liking his lips. Curse you and those stupid shorts you wear for dance practice. Perhaps he ought to be more like Eren and pay you a visit or two. “Eren thinks about you too much.” Connie observes, “Pulled this out and the first thing he’s talking about is how he doesn’t want you to miss it.”

Eren takes a seat besides Jean, you stand there awkwardly not sure where you’re supposed to go.

“Come.” He taps his lap lightly while ignoring Connie’s comment, gesturing you to sit on it. Naturally your eyes widen and of course he finds it amusing. He smiles, looking at his other bandmates. “It’s not a big deal, right guys?” They nod routinely and you swallow whatever is stuck in your throat before slowly walking over and taking a seat. Eren has a satisfied grin as you try to situate yourself, you don’t expect him to place both his hands on your hips, holding you down.

“Who wants to go first?” Jean asks while Connie holds a lighter to the blunt. Across the room you see Armin close the window, they intend to hotbox, great. Looks like you wouldn’t be practicing later today after all.

“Ladies first.” Eren taps your thigh, Jean hands it over to you, they all watch intently as you take the first hit. “Look, she doesn’t even cough anymore.” Eren teases while rubbing your back, the others laugh while you blow out the smoke.

“Sorry.” You say shyly, “I think I got lipgloss on it.” They all wave you off hearing a string of it’s fine and it’s okays fill up the air. You hand it back to Jean and allow it to rotate around the room. It doesn’t take many hits for you all to get high, now you’re putty in Eren’s hands, all laughing and giggling while you run your fingertips down his chiselled chest talking about whatever nonsense the topic of discussion was.

You feel like you’re zoning in and out of reality leaning into the crook of Eren’s neck while he’s got an arm draped around your waist. Connie and Armin are engrossed in their own conversation while him and Jean talk amongst themselves. “Wanna share whats left?” Jean asks, but he’s not looking at the blunt, he looks between you and Eren. A devilish smile is on his lips and you can’t really discern what he means because there is nothing left to share.

You feel a chuckle reverberate against Eren’s chest, he shakes his head lightly. “Not this time, I’ve been dreaming about this one.”

“Oh I get it.” Jean grins, he places a hand on your thigh before speaking up once more, “It was nice seeing you y/n, you should come around more. Don’t wait for Eren to invite you.” He begins standing up, Connie and Armin glance at eachother, seemingly having some shared understanding as they stand too.

“Bye guys.” You wave, looking up at them through those pretty eyelashes of yours and for a second Jean almost considers saying fuck it to Eren but he doesn’t. They trail out slowly, all leaving some lingering touches on your body until it’s just you and Eren left.

You figure now is a good time to climb out of his lap but he holds your hips in place, “Where are you going? You don’t wanna keep me warm?” He asks, it’s a whisper against your neck and it sends all types of goosebumps crawling down your body.

You giggle, your brain is too fogged up to think straight. “Erenn.” You drag out his name while he flips you over so that you’re straddling him. Once he gets a look at your face he knows there’s no use trying to conceal the hard on in his pants.

“Hmm?” He hums, running his hand up and down your thigh. He’d been working on this for months, literal months. Now that he had you right where he wanted you there was no way he was letting you slip away. Today, it was now or never.

“What does this tattoo mean?” You snuggle your head in his chest, the weed is making you slightly tired.

“This one?” He glances between you and the art on his body. He smiles to himself, his eyes trailing off somewhere. “I’ll tell you another time.” Seeing how you were on the verge of literally falling asleep there was no time for him to waste talking about absolute nonsense. He needed you today, now.

“You always say that.” You whine, hitting him lightly. You can tell he’s amused from the airy laugh that escapes his nose. “I tell you everything about me but you never tell me about you.”

“Yeah?” His eyebrows quirk up, “You tell me everything like what? That you’re a virgin? You don’t drink? You were too scared to smoke?” He’s mocking you, you know that he is but he does it so sweetly while brushing some hair out of your face.

“You remember that?” You ask, of course he remembers. It’s all he thinks about when he sees you. That you’re untouched, pure, you probably don’t know how to make yourself feel good. He wants nothing more than to destroy you, corrupt you even. Whenever he sees you he gets hard, so hard. He knows that you feel it, the bulge prodding against your shorts but you haven’t said a word. You’d never sat on a mans lap before, you assumed it was normal and that drove him insane.

“I listen to the things you tell me.” He smiles, it’s so easy to think he cares, that he’s just a concerned friend and nothing more. “On the bright side that’s one down.”

“One down?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’ve smoked now so what’s left? A couple drinks and losing your virginity? Seems easy enough.”

You look away, “I still haven’t found the right guy.”

“Oh yeah? What happened to your little boyfriend?”

“W-We’re on a break.” You mutter, embarrassed. Now it makes sense, you hadn’t mentioned him in a while and Eren wasn’t sure why considering when the two of you first met he was all you would talk about. He respected it though, he’d fucked enough girls with boyfriends that he thought it was rare to find someone like you.

“A break?” He chuckles, “So you’re not together anymore?” Everything was coming together perfectly.

“We are, I’m meeting him tomorrow to talk about it, we just had and argument.” Your voice trails off, it’s obvious you don’t want to talk about the situation between you and your boyfriend but of course Eren can’t help his curiosity.

“So you two have never—?”

“No.”

“Why not? He’s your boyfriend, isn’t that the right guy?”

“I don’t know.” You mumble.

“You poor thing.” He says, pushing you further down against his crotch. He was close, so close. “You don’t know what it’s like to feel good.”

“F-Feel good?”

“Yeah you know from sex, or are you afraid to talk about that too?” He teases, he’s about to have you right where he wants you and he can taste it.

“I’m not I just — I don’t know, maybe it’ll happen one day and I can feel good too.”

Bingo.

His eyes widen before he catches his composure. He’s got you now hook, line and sinker.

“You know.” He begins, “I bet I could make you feel good.”

“What?”

“Just a suggestion, you’re my friend of course I’d help you out where I can.” There’s a smirk on his lips. Damn him and his stupidly perfect features. And fuck the weed you’ve both consumed that’s clouding your senses.

“I-I don’t know.” You become nervous, retracting from him a little.

“Come on, I’ll be good to you, so good I promise.” He’s just able to hold back from bucking up into you but he’s not sure how long he’ll last.

“You will?”

“I swear.” He places a hand on his heart.

“But my boyfriend—“

“You guys are on a break, you’re not together. Think about him and all the girls he’s fucked, do you wanna be the only one with no experience?” He coos, rubbing your back. He was a starboy in two things, music and being a complete world class manipulator. Really this was getting him off even more, knowing he’d send your virgin pussy to your boyfriend tomorrow completely wrecked by him.

“What would we do?” You ask, becoming more receptive to the idea.

“Whatever you want, whatever makes you feel good.”

“I-I don’t know what I want to do.” You stammer, Gosh that makes him even harder. You really didn’t even know where to start in the sex department, he couldn’t believe it. A girl as beautiful as you, with those eyes and that dream body, how? How have you never been touched before?

“Want me to show you something?” He asks, you hesitate for a moment but end up nodding.

“Here.” He grabs your hips with both his hands, “Move against me, I’ll help you.” He rolls you against his crotch and throws his head backwards, he couldn’t take it. He needed to be inside you. It feels so good, you feel so good against him like this even with the fabric separating the two of you. You let out a whimper and his eyes shoot open to garner your expression.

“You like that?” He asks, grinding you against him harder.

“Y-Yes.” You position yourself directly above his bulge, your breath hitches with a moan as you feel it attempting to prod into you while you push against it. Your sounds are music to his ears and he can’t believe he’s actually enjoying dry humping, he feels like a virgin again.

He picks up the speed, looking up at you even though you’re seemingly lost in pleasure. “Wanna try moving by yourself baby?” He asks, he guides your arms around his neck so you can be in a secure position. You nod before picking up the pace again and he thinks he might lose his mind.

He glances down to see a dark patch forming against the crotch area of your grey shorts. Fuck you’re so wet for him and the two of you haven’t even had any skin to skin contact yet.

He lets out a moan which encourages you to go faster. “I-I feel like—“ You can hardly get the words out between your moans, there’s an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can’t quite put your fingers on.

“Come on, get on my thigh.” He repositions you because he knew if you kept going he’d cum in his pants and there was only one place he was aiming to nut tonight and that was inside of you.

“W-Why?”

“Just trust me.” He says, tapping against your hips as a sign to start moving again. You don’t have the bulge prodding against your entrance but quickly the feeling returns.

“Eren—“ You moan out his name, he thought he was already rock solid but now he was so hard that it was physically hurting him to be in these constraints. He needed you so bad.

“What is it baby?” He asks, watching you move against him, your shorts were practically drenched at this point.

“I think I’m gonna—“

“You’re gonna cum? Do it, for me.” Something snaps in your stomach at his words and euphoria washes over you, you’re seeing white while he continues to move your hips allowing you to ride out your high. You’re moaning uncontrollably before practically collapsing into his chest once you’re done.

“Fuck.” He says eyes wide while rubbing your back, “Think that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Really?” You mutter against his shoulder blade, breathless.

“Yeah shit.” He glances down, pulling at the waistband of your shorts. “You’re drenched for me.”

“That felt good.” You say, pulling away from his chest so he can get a better look at your lower half.

“Yeah?” He finds it amusing, so much so that he let’s out a small chuckle. “I told you so, didn’t I?”

“What else can you do?” Fuck you were so eager for him, so eager for him to make you feel good he couldn’t believe it.

“You’re so greedy.” He says while picking you up before placing you down on the bed that Armin was on just minutes before. This all felt so wrong, so dirty but you wanted it all the same, wanted it so bad.

“I can show you something else.” He cages you underneath him, pressing his lips against your neck while be sucked on it. It didn’t even take a minute for him to find your sweet spot, to have you whimpering and squirming underneath him. “Do you want me to?” He whispers against your earlobe.

You nod eagerly but he doesn’t take it as an answer. “Need to hear you say it.”

“Yes Eren, I want you to.”

“Good.” He pulls away, burning the mental image of you sprawled out on the bed, peering up at him expectantly into his mind. Fuck he wishes he could take a picture and cherish this for ages, he’d jack off to it daily if he could.

Slowly, you watch as he tugs against your waistband, slowly pulling your shorts down until your lace panties are all that are in his way. “Look at you.” He whispers, he’s talking to himself more than he is to you. “So pretty, I knew it. Better than what I imagined.” He’s practically salivating as he moves your underwear to the side, faced with your bare pussy.

You hide your face out of nervousness, “You’ve been thinking about me?”

He pushes your hands to the side, wanting nothing more to see your face while he deals with you. “Do you want the truth?” He asks, his fingers dip down into your wetness, brushing over your clit. A light moan escapes your mouth before you nod. “I’ve been thinking about this for months, I wanted to fuck you ever since I laid eyes on you. Touched myself to you more times than you could know.”

Your breath hitched, the way he was speaking to you was so lewd you should almost be offended but it made you want him more. You wanted him so bad that you began to clench around nothing.

“Oh you like when I speak to you like that? Noted.” He brings your own slick up to your mouth, watching you suck his fingers before he removes it, putting it into his own mouth. He gives you almost no time to recover, desperate to be back against you once more. He kisses your thighs, giving you some time to ease into the feeling of him around you so intimately like this. The thought of getting head from him drove you almost insane with anticipation.

Eventually he pulls your hips closer to him on the edge of the bed, removing your panties completely. “If I fuck you good after this, will you let me keep these?” He holds them up in the air, it’s almost embarrassing how drenched they are but you nod anyway. Anything for him to get on with it.

"Shit baby." He mutters before putting his mouth on you, you moaned instantly, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, this time he didn't give you a moment to ease into it which made you close your legs around him.

"Open." He demands and you oblige, you couldn't even speak in response all you could do was moan at the way he was moving against you. He added a few fingers into the mix which made you go wild. If this is what sex was like it was a bummer you hadn’t done it sooner. On the bright side, you were doing it with Eren Jaeger of all people, the Eren Jaeger, and he wasn’t shy to show you how experienced he was. He grinned at how obedient you were, for some reason there wasn't a feeling in the world that he adored more. He could die right here and be the happiest man on earth.

He places your hands in his hair, guiding you to tug and pull on it. You guessed it was probably a kink of his but you enjoyed it anyway. The way he moaned against you when you pulled at him sent vibrations throughout your body. His hairband falls loose and you can’t help but think he looks like his absolute best like this, ravishing you while somehow lost in his own pleasure.

He's got both of your plump thighs in his hands, hooked under your legs. He's almost raising you off of the bed slightly, wanting to taste every last bit of you.

"I can't, I'm gonna—" You couldn't even finish your sentence, he was too much, having no mercy on you. Tears of pleasure begun to prick your eyes while he mocks you.

"You're gonna what? Use your words gorgeous." He looks up at you between your legs, your head is tilted back, eyes contorted in pleasure. He took a mental note of it, in all his years of living it was the best thing he'd ever seen.

"I'm gonna cum ‘Ren."

"Do it" Almost as if it was on command you came unravelled there, you were practically seeing stars. If it wasn't for you pulling him away by his hair he would've kept ravaging you, he couldn't help it, couldn't get enough of you.

He leaned in again to kiss you, he wanted you to taste yourself, to pay back the treat you'd given him, "Fuck." You said once you'd caught your breath, he chuckled at your disheveled state before sitting up slightly.

“What do you think your boyfriend would say if he could see you now?” He cocks his head to the side playfully. “Do you think you belong to him?”

You shake your head, “No.”

“Then who do you belong to?”

“You.”

The corner of his lips tug upwards. “Good girl, you’ve been so good for me.” He begins to unbuckle his belt as you watch intently. You could already see the his hard on through his black jeans but as soon as they were off you practically gasped. His print was evident through his boxers and to say he was massive was an understatement.

You watch as he begins palming himself through his boxers, as if he wasn’t already hard enough. “What do you say, you wanna touch?” You lean forward, running your hands up and down his clothed shaft and you hear him groan lowly.

“Fuck tell me you’re ready for me baby — been wanting this for ages.”

“I’m ready.” The moment the words come out of your mouth he pins you against the bed, once he pulls his boxers down his cock springs free and your eyes widen. It's even larger than you thought it would be. It's pretty, tanned just up until his tip which was pink. You could see the vein running along the side and genuinely asked, “Will that fit?”

“Gonna make it fit.” He throws his head back as he drags it through your folds, feeling your wetness warm him up makes him go crazy. You squirm underneath him, the base of his cock grazes over your clit more than once. “All the things I wanna do to you.” He whispers, “Gonna fuck you like crazy, I’ll be so good to you.”

“P-Please Eren, I want it, I want you.”

“Say it again.” He dips his head down so his ear is against your mouth, he wants to hear you crystal clear.

“I want you—“ You’re interrupted by the intrusive feeling of his head passing by your folds. It hurts, it hurts more than you can imagine as he pushes deeper inside of you. He’s moaning as he pushes into you you’re not sure why.

“Shit baby you’re so tight, too tight.” He groans, knitting his eyebrows together like he’s concentrating on not doing something.

“Ren it hurts.” You say, unintentionally clenching around him further.

“Wait don’t—“ Before he can finish his sentence you hear him whimper against your neck, something warm starts spilling inside of you and your eyes widen at his light moans. It takes an entire minute for him to realise whats just happened as he pulls away and out of you slowly.

“Did you just—“ You look down, seeing white seed spilling out of you.

His cheeks grow hot while he takes in the sight before him. Fuck another kink he didn’t even know he had, now he wants to breed you. “Why are you looking at me like that? It’s your fault.” He says with exasperation, “Why’d you grip me so hard?”

“What? I-I’m not, didn’t mean to.” You mumble, unsure of what he means. Was this supposed to happen? Considering this was your first time doing this you didn’t know how embarrassing this was for Eren and he was grateful for it. He’d never came just from entering a girl alone, then again he’d never fucked anyone as tight as you. This was going to be harder than he thought. You’d made him reach his high in record time and fuck did it feel good.

“It’s okay, I’ll forgive you this time.” He says, lining himself up against your entrance again, “Try to loosen up baby please, I wanna fuck you.” He begs, you’re not sure what he wants you to do. You’re as wet as you could be right now.

He pushes himself in once more though slower this time, his girth made it a little painful at first and he recognised that. He knows it hurts and he’s trying to give you the time to adjust but his patience is just running so thin. You hissed, your back arching against the bed while he coaxes you into calming down by pressing kisses against your face.

You winced a little causing him to rub your temple, "Just a little more okay? You can take it." You nodded as he pushed in a little further, a moan escaping from your lips. He settled for a moment after bottoming out, bringing his lips to yours to distract you from the pain once again. A tear escaped your eye and he places a kiss on it but you could feel his dick twitching inside of you. He liked seeing you cry.

“You can move.” You say, he wastes no time picking up the pace, fucking himself into you. He loved this, you were like his tight little fuck doll, he was putting everything into not cumming again. Eventually the pain subsides into pleasure for you and you can hardly form a coherent thought at the way he’s hitting all the right spots.

"You still need to loosen up for me." He says between moans, while thrusting into you like there was no tomorrow. He was so much more vocal than you would’ve expected but you loved it, you loved being fucked by Eren Jaeger.

"I-I have." Your sweet voice almost cracks between the pleasure. Squeezing him a little tighter as he talks to you. It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t doing it on purpose.

You can feel him laugh, muttering against your neck, "Think you might just be too tight, fucking virgin.” He mutters the last part but you still catch it.

"Think your dicks too big." You shoot back but he continues anyway. He begun experimenting with the angles, knowing he's found your G-spot with one particular moan from you.

"Shit, faster Eren." You asked causing him to grin to himself, your wish was his command. He was still cautious that he didn't want to hurt you but he was picking up the pace to the point where you wondered what kind of stamina this man had. If he'd asked you anything now there was no way you'd be able to formulate a single world, your head was in the clouds.

“You’re a fucking selfish bitch you know that?” He asks between the lewd sound of slapping filling the air. “Keeping this pussy from me for so long.” He slaps your clit and you’re so sure that the entire building could hear you at this point but he didn’t care, you were sure of it. “Shit you’re mine, all mine you hear me?”

You don’t respond, letting him fuck you into the clouds. “I’m talking to you.” He brings you back to earth, his hands surrounding themselves around your throat relentlessly.

“I-I’m yours.” You struggle to get the words out but do it eventually.

“Good girl, you gonna let me cum in this pussy again aren’t you? Gonna let me do it inside?” His tone is questioning but his words are a demand, he’s going to do it whether you like it or not.

“Yes ‘Ren.”

He hums with satisfaction before grabbing your hand and placing it on your clit while he continues to thrust into you, “Come, touch yourself.”

Your hands freeze and eyebrows knit together, you’ve got no clue what to do and that becomes painfully obvious to him. “Need some help?” He places your thumb on your clit while putting his own over it, moving them both in a circular motion.

“What? Too much?” You’re babbling incoherently and he’s beyond amused, you’re practically creaming on his dick and he knows that all the months of waiting was worth it. This was the best pussy he’s ever had.

The familiar knot is back in your stomach but you can’t bring yourself to warn him this time, he only knows it once you start clenching around him uncontrollably. “Oh fuck.” His moans slice through your own. Your high sends him into his own estacy, no amount of focus could stop this from happening when you were this tight around him. He came so hard, harder than he ever had before, squirts of cum filled you up and you could feel it continue to pile on even when you'd thought it had stopped. His deep moans resounded the room, he sounded amazing.

He played with your nipples while continuing to fuck the two of you into overstimulation, he didn’t care. He was drunk on this, “Can’t stop fuck I can’t stop.” He threw his head back, releasing another load into you. The next feeling was unfamiliar, you felt liquid gushing out of you and onto his bare V-line as his eyes widened. “Do it again.” He continues bucking into you, slapping his hands against your clit until you squirt some more.

Once he’d pushed himself to the absolute limit he finally slowed down, pulling out of you. Your body was shaking underneath him and you looked like you weren’t even present. “Didn’t know virgin pussy could do that.” He grins, taking in your fucked out state. Almost immediately the look on your face makes him hard again.

He attempts to line himself back up again but you’re still clenching around nothing and he knows he’s got no chance of getting back in there. “What? You need a little rest?” He perks up, he’s teasing you as usual. “Don’t care, this is my pussy now which means you’re gonna be good to me right, gonna let me go again?”

All you can do is whimper, jolting as he runs his hands over your body lightly.

“Gonna fuck you everyday from now on, you ready? This is just practice.”

Reblogs are appreciated & requests are open!

[naturesapphic]

After show

Melanie martinez x fem!reader

Warnings: just fluff and tired mel (some sensual stuff as well 👀)

“Happy pride month everyone! I love you all so so so much! Drive home safely bye!” Mel said into her microphone to everyone in the crowd as the show was just over. She ran off stage and started to immediately look for you. You were in the crowd near the side of the stage and you were escorted to her when a security guard said that she was searching for you.

You stood behind the stage when Mel came up to you with a big bright smile. Well, you think it was a big smile but it was hard to tell with that mask on. When she first told you about and showed you it kinda freaked you out but it’s really starting to grow on you and you loved how it suits her.

“Hey babes! Did I do okay out there?” She asked shyly. She knew she always did good but there was always a little doubt that she may not have but you and the fans always push those doubts away and she always grateful for them and especially for you.

“You did amazing angel! Every time you go up there. You get better and better. I’m so proud of you”. You exclaimed happily as you leaned up to kiss her neck since her mask covered most of her face. “Cmon babes.” She said as she took your hand in hers and guided you outside to where there bus was.

Y’all went inside and she sat on the couch to relax while you went to get some makeup wipes and some things to help her get undressed from her costume and mask.

You helped her gently take of the mask and you smile when you see your beautiful brown eyed tooth gapped girlfriend smiling up at you. You signed in content “I love you so much melly. I’m seriously so so proud of you and I’m so glad im apart of this journey with you and just know that I will always be here. From start to finish.” You said softly to her as you began to wipe some of the make up off of her.

Her eyes start to water at your words and she started sobbing softly into your chest. “You are the best partner I’ve ever had. I love you so much y/n!” She said with so much love in her voice. You cooed at her softly and petted her head as you held her tight against you. She lifted her head after a few moments and put both of her hands on your face and kissed you deeply. You whimpered at how sensual the kiss was and started squirming around a little. Mel smirked in the kiss and pulled away with same said smirk.

You gave her a look and she pouted. You gently wiped her wet face with her hand and she admired you the whole time with a smile on her face. You giggled “why are you looking at me like thatttt”. You whined in embarrassment while Mel laughed. “I’m sorry! I can’t help me. When you took my makeup off I felt so loved then when you said those sweet words to me I started crying because no one has supported me like my fans and you have. Then you made me horny and now I’m just admiring the work of art that I get to call mine.” She said in a soft voice that made your heart swell up.

Mel yawned and started to stretch which caused you to yawn back at her. Y’all both giggled and you got off her lap and she got out of her costume and put on a nightgown as did you. Matching ones at that. You took her soft hand and let her to the back of the bus and went into y’all’s shared bunk. Mel went in first near the wall then you crawled in after her and laid down beside her. She started spooning you from behind and placed kisses all up and down the side of your neck which caused you sigh happily. You yawned and closed your eyes with a smile on your face as Melanie told you how much she loves you and how she will never ever leave you. After a few moments, making sure you were asleep, she fell asleep soon after.

A/n: I hope this story made sense sodkdkfkdodo no one has sent requests so I’m trying to come up with ideas for her so I hope y’all enjoyed! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

[flannelepicurean]

Saiyan Pride

I started off having a crack fic continuation from this situation, but I started bleep-booping on it this morning and it turned into some fluffiness featuring a transgender reader with three excitable alien roommates, and a "lost in translation" that actually hit me kinda deep when I got into it. So, uh...yeah. I was having some trans feelings today, here you go. 💖

————————————————

They really wreaked some havoc when they landed. Or tried to, anyway. Goku and the boys took care of it, or that's what you heard (not from them, though; they tell it a little different). Either way, it's not that hard to believe, no matter which direction you squint at the story.

They're okay roommates, though.

Sure, they come and go at weird hours, and they can get pretty loud. And it's hard to explain the space ships, and the bunker add-ons, but after the first time Nappa grumbles, "Lemme handle this," nobody ever gets a parking ticket at the house again, and they always come through with rent, so you don't ask a whole lot of questions. 

It's not clear what they do for a living. Their soft skills leave a lot to be desired. Vegeta can at least dress himself like a halfway normal person, but his skills are granite. Iron. Even Raditz has better customer service game.

But they treat you decently. And when you finally take the plunge, and change your hair, and put on the new outfit you bought, and grab a bag of your old stuff to take to the donation center, you pause for a second in the living room. 

And sure enough, Raditz looks up with slight puzzlement and remarks, “Your hair’s different.”

And you shrink a little, and stand up straighter anyway, and explain that there are going to be some…changes. You do your best to explain it, in hopes that it will come out right, and it’s still a little awkward, but you explain to your roommates that you’re transitioning. 

They all hop up from the couch immediately, and the atmosphere becomes raucous and excited. 

“Whoa, you can DO THAT?!” Raditz squawks.

“Unbelievable!” Vegeta cries. “I didn’t even know you’d been training!”

“What are your new powers?” Nappa demands, and then whirls toward Raditz. “Get the scanner, I wanna see what level–”

You wave your hands and raise your voice and explain that GENDER, it’s a GENDER transition, TRANSGENDER!

They fall silent, eyes wide. 

“Trans…?” Vegeta breathes. “TRANSFORM YOUR GENDER?! Not even Kakarot is that powerful!” He places a hand on your shoulder. “You must truly be an astonishing warrior.”

Raditz leans in with a friendly but feral grin and a jubilant, “You wanna spar?”

You back slowly toward the door with promises of pizza in hopes of distraction.

It works.

————————————————

“Whoa, you look cool,” Raditz observes. “What’s the flag for?” 

You inform your roommates that you’re meeting up with some friends to go to Pride, and find yourself immediately caged by a cluster of keen-eyed Saiyans.

“Wait, what?!” Vegeta inquires. “Where are you going?”

You stammer out an explanation about Pride. Pride Month. You add that there’s a parade.

They exchange glances at lightning speed, and round back to you again.

“THERE’S A WHOLE MONTH?!” Nappa hollers.

“IN WHO YOU ARE, AS YOURSELF?!” Vegeta confirms.

“There’s a parade…about PRIDE?!” Raditz yawps.

You nod, quaking.

Vegeta throws an arm around your shoulders, beaming with lunatic glee. “WAVE YOUR FLAG HIGH AND GET IN THE SHIP! EVERYONE! EVERYBODY GET IN THE SHIP, WE’RE GOING DOWN THERE, RIGHT NOW!”

————————————————

They act exactly like aliens. Which…makes sense, really, but still. 

Your friends are polite about holding in their laughter. But they also don’t know exactly how to deal with the situation. The Saiyans gawk unabashedly, but with the same bewildered and bewildering reverence they gave you. 

One of your friends nudges you and motions to a space a few yards away, where Vegeta stands, craning his neck to ask a towering glamazon, "So, you're telling me they tried to crush your spirit, because of who you are, but you found your way in a hostile world and became both fierce and fabulous?” He rubs his chin and muses, “Your power levels must be off the charts..."

You trade a shrug with your friend because…well…he’s not wrong. 

And you’re not really surprised when Nappa declares, with the carnival glee of a spirited child and the full-chested power of an enormous Saiyan warrior, “This…this is the BEST PLACE ON EARTH!” And, looking around at the crowd, the different flags, and the many different folks, the colors and shapes and all the visuals, the feathers and flair, and cargo shorts and clogs, and rainbows, and neon, and leather, and glitter, and tee shirts and jeans, and everything else, you kinda get what he means. 

You can’t really explain why he’s right, but for some of the wrong reasons. But his heart’s in the right place, maybe? And you’re having a pretty good time. 

————————————————

You look up at a sharp knock on your bedroom door, and open it to find all three of your roommates crowded into the hallway, looking serious. Your stomach and heart take racing elevators in opposite directions. 

“Hi,” Raditz says, with some measure of cheer. 

You give them a cautious greeting. 

“Seems like the transformation’s going well,” Nappa observes, encouragingly.

You pause for a moment, then just smile and offer some thanks. It’s a little complex. A little complicated. They still don’t get it. But they’re really supportive, and that’s nice. 

Vegeta adopts a businesslike tone. Informs you, “We very much enjoyed attending the Pride festivities last year, and owe you a debt of gratitude for introducing us to the other warriors.”

You offer a hesitant nod.

He continues, “Some of the individuals at the collective have been training us to join the alliance.” Before you can sort out quite what he means, he motions to Nappa and Raditz. They shuffle around a bit while he explains, “You’ve clearly been training hard, but it’s important to be properly equipped, as well.”

He steps out of the way, giving Nappa room to step forward, and present one of those weird cases they ship stuff in. They maneuver it into your room, and watch while you open it. 

“We know this isn’t your final form, but this should be able to handle it, whatever the transformation brings.” Vegeta explains, nodding toward the set of Saiyan battle armor. Just your size.

You nod toward it as well, stunned. And puzzled. 

You look back up at your roommates, and find them watching you with a look you’ve never really seen from them before. It’s a bit like that weird, smirky expression they get when they cheat at board games, or catch each other cheating at board games. But the fierceness around the eyebrows is different. And the eyes have a kind of contentment that’s still pretty intense. 

They just seem…proud.

So, inevitably, whatever else you may be feeling, you do put forth the critical question. 

They nearly ricochet off the walls. 

“Of course we’ll go with you!” Vegeta assures.

“ARE YOU GONNA BRING THE FLAG?!” Nappa booms. 

Raditz sidles up to you and murmurs, “That’s technically battle armor, it’s not really, y’know, formal. LIke, parade-style. But I think you’d be okay.”

And so you prepare yourself to head to Pride with the Saiyans again.

[elegyofthemoon]

life stuff

hmmmm something in me the last two weeks has wanted nothing but to destroy things and if not that then to just go sleep for a while

tbh i think last week genuinely was my last straw. i think it's time for me to leave for something else. i'm tired of not really enjoying life and always waiting for that Jump in joy that reaching a milestone and watching each day go by so easily that i don't remember them, being too focused on a future uncertain

i want to live. thats really it. this - whatever this is - it isn't living. i love being a student and i do love learning, but i don't think this was ever cut out for me. i've prided myself so much in being so because it meant helping others, and i'll always be someone who wants to help others some way or another, but maybe this isn't my path to help others.

there's other things i can do that i might enjoy a bit more. but i think more than anything right now i just want to focus on myself - reconnect with the self that i had lost by draining myself for this dream. i want to find things that make me happy and pursue it. it might not be something my folks would be happy about, but what's life without disappointing others to make a place for yourself? if i spent so long trying to make a place for others, its about time i ought to show myself that same kindness and choose to live.

my mom's coming to visit this weekend because she's been hearing a lot about how pained i've been and just how stressed i am about the situation. it's going to be my break weekend where i don't really do a lot of work and we're gonna go enjoy sightseeing and going around the city and even go to a football match. i want to enjoy it to the fullest and reconnect with myself and live. but ... i kinda want to break the news to her that i think i need to stop before i break myself further. i'm tired of this dream. i miss living and being in the present. i miss the small joys in life like the sun or the flowers. even now all of that doesnt bring me joy anymore. its hard. and i'm scared because i've had this conversation before with her that i don't think i can go on, only to be met with "you just have to bite your tongue and do it." if i bite any harder, there'd be blood everywhere.

i have some hope though. the last call we had she said something like "if medicine wasnt meant for you FUCK medicine!" and that made me happy to hear but there's a difference between a voluntary choice of leaving vs being kicked out. i think if i said a voluntary choice, she would throw a fuss and say im giving up so easily. as though such a choice was easy for me to choose when i spent my entire life building up to this dream - sacrificing a lot of my own life, relationships, etc - in order to get here.

but it's the final day of the first month of the year, and i don't need another month of all the heartbreak that the entirety of last year had given me. i don't need to feed it further.

[deldeldel90]

Leelathae/Isolde college au headcanons because the latest episode ruined me and I need something happy <333

- isolde is def a little spoon

- and also touchstarved but won't admit to it

- leelathae likes having somebody to hold, it makes her feel really cozy and warm inside

- isolde is crazy about her girlfriend. Loves her to a gushing amount. Like, if you ask her about her day, there's a 99% percent chance that leelathae will end up being brought up

- leelathae is a bit more chill/subtle about her affections but it's clear that she cares for isolde really deeply

- leelathae calls isolde her princess <3

- they both live in a shitty apartment with a equally shitty landlord that lowkey hates them both, leelathae still defends him when isolde calls him an asshole

- they both still have their issues and its a bit hard to talk about sometimes (leelathae doesn't wanna bother her girlfriend while isolde is prideful and doesn't want to shatter the image she's given leelathae)

- leelathae takes pottery classes and donates her creations away bc she thinks that it's better for them to go to someone who would cherish them more than her (and because she doesn't think she deserves nice things)

- leelathae's past with Jack's family instilled a lot of stuff in her

- they're both English majors !!

- isolde's in a band that she's been in since freshman year, leelathae goes to every concert she can

- leelathae attracts possums into their apartment somehow, they just come and she'll let em stay

- isolde thinks the possums are pretty cool :) they have the same taste in music

- isolde works at a pet shop while leelathae working at an aquarium (and, during the holidays, she usually bakes cookies to sell on the side)

- isolde was a bit of a party girl in her first year, always planning something with someone but now she's just kinda likes to stay with her girl and her select few of friends watch movies on the weekends

- leelathae wants to visit her family a lot and she misses them everyday but since they live in another country, its difficult. Each month, she saves money for one week-long trip in December so she can go

- isolde and leelathae are the type of couple to always be touching. Isolde is more kissing and hand holding, while leelathae likes shoulder touches and leaning against each other

- isolde is 5'5ft and leelathae is 5'6ft

- leelathae writes in diaries and isolde has a blog - they both enjoy writing out their feelings

- isolde literally loevs loves loves desserts. About 10% of her income each year is spent on sweets. She'll drop anything for a slice of pie, and the fact that leelathae sometimes bakes makes her want to marry her on the spot

- leelathae knows how to ballroom dance <3 isolde loves to watch her while she's doing it, thinks that she's the most graceful woman to ever glide ever

- leelathae plans romantic, slow dates like picnics so that they can bond better. Isolde plans dates that are more geared towards having the most amount of fun like amusement parks. They both plan movie dates

- isolde once tries to randomly play guitar for leelathae and normally she's pretty good at it but she got really nervous because Cute Girl, oh my god, this is straight out of a cheesy romance movie--

And she ended up playing a single note and dropped her guitar directly on the sensitive part of her foot and swore every curse in the book until the cows came home

- leelathae thinks that was the moment she fell in love with isolde

[wheezel]

transness & suicidality

obvious tw for. the above

hello. my name is max.

i’ve been going by max on the internet since like 2014 or 2015, when i’d join roleplay plots on creativefun, or maybe even before that, or parallel to that, i had some blatantly obvious self-insert OC with the same name. in every pokémon game i’ve ever owned, i’ve had an eevee named max. i don’t know why i was so attached to this name, but i don’t think i ever really foresaw it becoming Mine.

i started using tumblr “full time” in 2017. mostly for fandom stuff, especially harry potter. i’ve been max on here since the beginning of that— co-ran some hufflepuff blog under that name, and i thought it was the coolest thing.

i’ve always struggled in the mental health department. i wasn’t diagnosed with anything, but i’ve probably been contemplating suicide since the fifth grade. it didn’t start out serious, i don’t think, but throughout middle school it was a thought that never really left my head.

i’d known that i was queer since maybe the sixth grade? luckily i grew up in a general area where that wasn’t shamed or anything, so tbh it wasn’t super hard to come to terms with.

i don’t think i knew what being trans was until like 8th grade, but you wouldn’t believe that— i don’t wanna do the whole “i’ve been acting like a little boy since birth Ah Ah” thing bc i know that’s not a universal trans experience & i don’t want to make it out to be, but also.. i literally basically grew up as a little boy 😭 i was very outspoken about not liking anything “girly,” was friends with mostly guys, i’d always make my character a boy in any game i played, probably announced multiple times that i wished i was a boy or said that i “basically was.” i believe in tomboy/weird little girl rights and obv there is no “acting like a boy/girl” but. the point‘s that it was a thought in my mind.

wtv wtv quarantine hits, my friends become more homophobic/transphobic for some reason, i start looking more towards online queer communities. this makes me more active here, obviously, but also to a handful of discord servers. at this point i’m very well acquainted with transness, but still very sure in the fact that i’m just a very tomboyish lesbian— like i’d genuinely thought about it, a lot, and just didn’t ever “feel trans.” i wasn’t dysphoric, i liked my hair long, i had a lot of pride in being a lesbian, and i just. ‘didn’t mind’ being a girl.

time passes again and i start realizing that i’m not, in fact, cis. this pill was a little bit harder to swallow, but mostly because i didn’t know what i was. i played around with my identity for a while— i was pretty comfortably genderfluid for like a year or two— but i was still only out online. when i did eventually come out to my friend group at the time (shout out HS backstage crew), they were really accepting n stuff, but they’d almost exclusively refer to me with masculine terms. and like.. at first i was like ‘nooo they’re misunderstanding woe is me,’ but after a while, i got less & less comfortable being referred to with feminine terms, she/her pronouns, et cetera. some time in january, i started hanging out with a handful of people who i kinda knew but wasn’t all that close with, and i got to introduce myself as max. i danced around the topic of my gender for a while (“you can call me whatever i don’t really care”), but maybe two months ago, i resigned to the fact that i was just. a guy.

you’d think this would be about as easy as the rest of my little realizations, but. you’ve seen the news.

realizing that i now exist in a world that would blatantly rather i be dead than happy was not something that i was ready to grapple with.

i had made so much progress mentally since the beginning of this year— i *liked* who i was four months ago. i think i genuinely started loving myself.

now? i feel like i’m 12 again. i‘m so self conscious & i feel like everyone’s always looking at me funny and i can’t order food without embarrassing myself and i can’t. talk to anyone without feeling guilty that they have to know me. i’ve had this awful, heavy, guilty feeling in my chest for two months straight, and i don’t think i can get rid of it. i keep spiraling and hurting people and every time i think about talking to them about it i almost start throwing up because i feel so disgusting about myself. i shut myself out from a lot of people because of the shame. i couldn’t face them. i can’t convince myself that i belong here, or anywhere, or that i’m not actively making everything worse for everyone i know.

and you know. i almost did it.

to be honest, i don’t know why i didn’t. i still think about it all the time, if i’d actually gone through with it.

i think about the numbers all the time. i’m constantly turning them around in my head— 82, 40, 86, 56. it felt like what i was supposed to do.

though, clearly! i’m still here. i don’t have some big Ha Ha Fuck You to the world reason or whatever, in all honesty i just kinda felt more guilty when i thought about what’d happen if i did it. which stopped me, sure, but also led to me stewing in this miserable, suicidal limbo for like two weeks straight. i’ve been slowly getting better, but it doesn’t really get easier.

i wish i could make some grand statement about transphobia and society and the state of the world, but honestly? i’m just tired. i have nothing to say.

except maybe that my name is max, i’m transmasc, my pronouns are he/him, and i’m still here whether i or the world want me to be or not. because i gotta be.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

💌🌈🎀🕯️

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

ooh! okay! umm i have plans to start writing the summer camp au sometime next month (hopefully maybe later this week but no promises), since it won my moodboard poll from ages ago, and i've plotted about 90% of it at this point and i think it's going to be REALLY interesting to write and a bit of a challenge since it's entirely different from anything i've written before. i'm really excited about it!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

you wouldn't know because i haven't worked on it in literal months but the steddie dnd fic that i've basically abandoned (i will finish it someday I WILL) had me tearing my hair out on multiple occasions because my dumb ass really decided that trying to make up a whole campaign - when i have played dnd all of TWICE in my life - was a good idea. lemme just tell you right now - it was not.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

STOP MAKING ME COMPLIMENT MYSELF IDK WHAT TO SAYYYYY ugh. i like the way i write dialogue, i guess? idk i kinda pride myself on making sure that my dialogue sounds natural and that it flows similar to how people talk to each other in real life. not everybody knows the perfect thing to say all the time, and remembering that from time to time really helps me when i'm struggling with what to write.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?

i've had a few fics that took a toll on me, but ultimately i'm glad i wrote them. i've written several that deal with addiction and grief, and while they're hard topics to read about let alone write about, i've always been proud of how they turned out in the long run. i've never regretted writing about hard stuff, because sometimes you just need to. life isn't all sunshine and rainbows all the time, and i know people use fanfic as a way to escape real life but it's also important to remember that writers use their work as a way to cope with things they're going through in their personal lives, and sometimes that means that the story doesn't have a happy ending.

let's get real fic writer asks

[firthbetterorfirthworse]

Pride, Prejudice, & Mistletoe (2018)

I am watching a Christmas Hallmark movie in September, because I love all of you (and also hate you enough to subject you to it)

Our main character lady is Darcy Fitzwilliam, Nyc investor. She is kind, as we know because she knows her regular coffee vendor and about his family - his son just got early entry to Stanford!

Her mom is last minute throwing the Pemberley League holiday auction because the other people dropped out last minute, so they've gotta throw this together in 7 days. What's the bet she's going to a small town for the holidays? (if you bet against me on this, you lose. Pemberley, Ohio.)

(Also twice now in the first 5 minutes they've brought up that the firm has high investment minimums and Darcy does not agree with that. First with coffee man and second with one of the other partners who started the firm with her, who's like don't worry just go enjoy your vacation. I sense this will have absolutely zero terrible repercussions down the line.)

Her ex of a month, Carl, works for her dad - who cleared his schedule and ordered him to pick her up from the airport. He believes they are meant to be together and is willing to wait. She is like yeahhhhhhhh no but we can be friends?

3 months ago someone bought out a local restaurant, is new to the catering scene but his food is amazing. Mom just hired him for the thing and he's gonna come by the house tomorrow. Is he the love interest? (I can't tell just from the photo because they're all generic white men)

Her best friend(?) is dating Jim Bennett, brother of Luke Bennett - caterer guy - who it's revealed Darcy had a silly high school rivalry with. I'm so good at this. When they meet for dinner there is banter. Not mean, just kinda... bantery. She's like "he hasn't changed" because they love to correct each other?

Dad wants Darcy to work at his company, but she wants to do things on her own.

Darcy just found out Luke will be working together - mom didn't realize they knew each other but they were on the debate team together.

Luke is trying to provide a great vision that he has. Darcy interrupts because she wants to implement her vision. Mom says great, work together.

Darcy is like look I know what I'm doing and you don't. Luke is like, uh, we're equally skilled in other capacities but new to applying it in this situation, chill out.

Carl meets them on the street and both men kind of puff out their chests. [eyeroll]

Darcy has been decorating, but her parents are like go to the party tonight, have fun. Darcy's assistant calls and tells her there's a secret partner meeting she specifically wasn't invited to, so Darcy is like don't tell anyone I know but if you could patch me in via videoconference that would be fantastic.

She does admit to Luke at the party that stuff is going on at work and he's like hey, I'm a good listener. There's stuff going on at your company, there's that guy who works for your dad....maybe I can help. "I don't need help" she insists. [eyeroll] But on the way out they are both under the mistletoe (oooOOOOooooh) He tries to convince her to bend to tradition but she leaves.

Brother's wife announced pregnancy! He has the perfect life. Darcy is like hmm. "My life doesn't seem to be progressing. Maybe I'll just never be satisfied." Her wise brother says "Maybe you're just looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places."

The custom tree designer dropped out. The local lot donated some trees. Mom called Luke to help her pick them up with his truck. Darcy insists she can do everything on her own and doesn't need help. Luke is like uh are you sure? as she tries to pick up a tree bigger than her by herself. She insists she does not need help. [eyeroll] After making a disaster of the lot and knocking everything over, she accepts his help.

Finally, they are talking about how they were always jealous of the other person because it seemed like they had it so easy, but they both felt they had to work twice as hard to prove they deserved the benefits they got.

Darcy patched into the video conference room and is like "hey everyone!" The rest of the partners are awkwardly looking at each other. Everyone else agrees that the investment minimum needs to stay, and either get on board or get out. She is not going to sell her shares in the company. "Understood," says the other partner, and says they'll table it until after the new year.

Darcy found a new designer for the trees and this time, she didn't hesitate to call Luke for help [hooray! growth! thank goodness I'm not forced to hate her]. Luke asks her to take a break and go enjoy a caroling event, and she agrees!

They are reminiscing about the late Mr. Bennet, who was a good guy and they always had a dream to open a restaurant together. Luke is talking about how it has forced him to reevaluate and seize opportunities. Darcy admits that feeling is why she broke things up with Carl. "I knew it, I knew there was something about that guy!" "Did the crippling awkwardness give it away?" she asks. "Could've been the daggers he's been staring at me." She admits he's a good guy, frankly the perfect guy on paper. He admits that's what his last relationship was too. She's like that's why I took a step back this week. "The question is - do you really want to step back in?" They're under the mistletoe again! They have A Moment where she says he's every ounce the man his dad was, and kisses him on the cheek.

After a long day of decorating, the family invites Luke to stay for cocoa. Ticket sales are worrying low. Now when Luke is helping problem solve, Darcy is seconding his ideas. They have Another Moment when they light the family tree and she says "so pretty" while Luke can't tear her eyes away from her.

The other partner at the firm is poaching Darcy's best client. She's upset that the one time she didn't do something alone she's getting betrayed. Luke is like hey it's okay to trust people, some of us still know your worth.

Luke offers to waive his catering fee. They are having all sorts of lovely times, including an impromptu snowball fight. Good job Hallmark, I'm actually rooting for these two

Uh oh. Another call from her assistant. The other partner is poaching her clients left and right. She's having a late night heart to heart with her dad about what to do next.

She's helping Luke in the kitchen as much as she can, and it involves dancing to holiday music. She says that he's lucky because he knows what he wants, and can work for it. She isn't sure what she wants - she cares less about the money and more about the clients behind the money. She believes she can make a difference, if her company would let her. He assures her she's making a difference in other ways.

Darcy is confiding that she knows she can never get back with Carl and needs to tell him. Her friend is like is it Luke? I bet it's Luke. Darcy waves away the idea but she's like yeahhhhh I have eyes. "It'll never work, we live in two different cities." "Darcy you haven't been happy for a while now. Maybe it's time to change things up."

Oh no! It's last minute and the extra servers were double booked and won't be there. The family is going to help out! And some kids showed up because they're gonna be singing but want to help out setting up. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Darcy asks Luke. "I hope so," he replies, "because my idea is brilliant."

The party has started and Darcy took Luke's breath away. Guess who's at the party - her best client! He had been off the grid for a few days and tells her that he would never jump ship because he didn't trust the other partner's integrity after she left messages spreading lies. She tells him she might leave the firm due to their different visions, and he assures her he'll follow her to a different firm.

Luke has someone who wants to invest in his restaurant. Everything is going well and Darcy and Luke are dancing. Darcy is going to confess that she's made a big decision about something she wants - but Carl cuts in and says Mom needs to talk to her.

Carl takes her to the kitchen and is like hey. We fit. We make sense. Luke shows up in the doorway and stands, listening to Carl talk about how she would never be happy with Luke. "Carl, you are such a good man," she begins, and Luke leaves [eyeroll] before he can overhear Darcy tell Carl it's not enough and that they both deserve better - they deserve real love. Carl actually is a good guy because he accepts this and wishes her the best. (I'm a sucker for the secondary love interest)

Luke is like hey I need some air, Darcy just got back together with her ex. Her friend is like bullshit lemme go find her, but Luke is like I saw it happen, and goes outside.

Darcy is talking to her dad, who the whole time has been wishing she would join his company, and agrees that she will if she can run a branch of it the way she wants - with no investor minimums, a special branch for low income people or companies, and open a charitable foundation. He agrees, of course. She's so happy!

She tells her brother she's thinking about staying in town. He's excited. She goes outside looking for Luke, and finds her friend who is like Luke said he saw you and Carl get back together and then got really upset - we can't find him anywhere. His phone is off.

His brother offers her his car so she can go find him, and there Luke is! He was talking to that investor. She sets him straight about Carl, and admits that her heart belongs to him. The news she wanted to tell him was that she was moving back to Pemberley. They're under the mistletoe again and this time, they finally kiss. A bunch. The end.

I'm noticing that these Hallmark movies end with the kiss. No epilogue, no scenes of them happy together, just kiss.

I guess this follows the premise of they are both proud and have a bit of prejudice, but in the same way as

[especdreamy]

Oooo I'd be interested in why erika left splatsville (the in quotes made me go 👀) and how that effected the friendgroup before Dani arrived :0

Oh boy is that a LOADED question!

This is kind of niche splatoon lore but the Splatlands are poorer than Inkadia - And I sprinkled on top A LOT of personal experiences as a Latin American, specially the idea of moving to North America/Europe bc its Better™, to make up this whole narrative that the story has.

Erika, Niki, and Emilio were ALL from poorer neightbourhoods, going to public school and such! (Erika and Niki met Emilio when they all went to a public High school!)

Rowan has always been a bully, Erika's parents worked for one of the restaurants Rowan's family owned, so he kinda felt this "superiority complex" he kinda drilled into Erika's head that she would never get to be any better than she was right now. That she will be stuck, and that she's lesser.

Niki and Erika met after she defended her from Rowan's bullying, they became friends ever since. But because of this harrassment she experienced, and also encouragement from her own family/teachers, Erika always hoped to continue her education abroad and get a better life. She grew up tired of the Splatlands in general: its climate, the people, the chaos of it all. She wanted to get Out of There.

She didn't manage to land into an Inkadian University after graduating, so she continued her normal life with Niki, Emilio, and Rivet (Who they met while turning an abandoned building into a "base" for all of them to hang out in). Despite her having lots of fun with them and loving all her friends (specially Niki, her gf) she STILL was hoping to find a way to get Out.

She was the leader of their team, because she was the smartest and had the better skills, she was also the only one Rivet would listen to, for some reason. In the end, even though they were all good friends and very close, the whole group kind of relied a Bit Too Much on Erika's presence to live in harmony.

So when she left, she kind of did it with very little warning - or at least for Niki and Rivet, because Emilio was able to tell that Erika had been acting weird the months prior and discovered that she had come up with a plan that could get her a scholarship to an Inkadian University. Erika was scared of causing awkwardness in the group by breaking up with Niki and stuff, but in the end she...created a bit of a bigger mess because she left a week after giving out the news.

It was a MESS. Emilio himself has a bit of a grudge against Inkopolis/Inkadia because of the way they tend to look down upon the Splatlands (Reminder of my own little self projection here), and he also suffered A LOT from the pressure of his own family/teachers to Move Out when he never wanted to leave (And thanks to Niki he was able to assert himself bc he tends to be a people pleaser). He kind of felt betrayed by Erika when he found out she wanted to leave.

Niki is arospec (Detail u can find in the pride drawing i made of them), and Erika was the first time she fell in love and she was terrified of it being the last. She struggled so much coming to terms that she might never understand what falling in love is like and now she had to come to terms with maybe never feeling like that again - she was heartbroken. She was in a very deep depressive episode and she was UNBEARABLE.

Rivet was disconcerted by Erika suddenly leaving - they do not cope with loss well, and they kinda went a bit destructive over it (Its HARD to explain fully Rivet is a very peculiar character andhskjdd). They wouldn't listen much to Emilio and they ran away from home after an argument they had with him.

Emilio was the only one who Was Kinda Functional during the fallout, and he was put into A LOT of stress. He's a very responsible guy and now he had to basically take care of EVERYTHING because neither of his friends were taking this situation well, and they were driven into lots of financial problems too.

LOTS of arguments ensued, after Rivet ran away for several months Niki got the wake up call she needed to work on herself and get some more friends for the sake of Emilio. Rivet met Gabriel, who invited them to work for Grizzco from which they saved a lot of money that they gave to Emilio to work on the Financial issues. And In the end things get solved for them all!

As for Erika? Well, she kinda lost communication with them during those months. Niki never replied to her messages because the memory was too painful, Emilio resents her so he stopped talking with her, Rivet doesn't really use a telephone. She at least tries to calm herself down by assuming they're okay, and in the end she can find more happiness and comfort with her life in Inkopolis compared to whatever she had in Splatsville - it was for the best.

Erika left roughly two years before Dani arrived ^_^

[jinxxedmisery]

I just wanted to come here and say, I'm sorry I haven't been active lately.

I haven't gotten around to requests in like months.. thankfully only one is in my inbox right now.

I also haven't been doing a lot of art.. things have happened which I will vent about... because my therapy appointment is over a month away and where else can I vent if not tumblr..

Tw mental health stuff, general health stuff, transphobia, relationship drama.

So happy Pride Month... it's nearly over, I know.. but oh well. Like a lot of people are saying, this pride month feels different.. less safe.. I came out as nonbinary to my family last year and started socially transitioning and I have known I was pansexual since 14.... so this stuff kinda hits hard.,

Even being in Canada it's scary seeing all this hate.. it's not as bad here.. but haha.. I happen to live in Alberta.. half the population here is homophobic, godfearing, truckers, cowboys, and farmers.... so I feel a sense of danger every time I'm open about it..

I went to a parade in my town.. we have a yearly event in June.. it's not pride.. but I kinda treat it as a form of pride.. I wore my pronoun pin badge I bought shortly after I came out. One of the town four churches has a Vacation Bible School program and a woman who is a pastor's wife always every year comes up to me and tells me she wants me to volunteer to help them out and kinda forces me to take an info packet....

Yeah.. this year she looked directly at my pin badge and talked to my parents instead basically pretending I didn't exist which was kinda funny and a huge relief.. hope this stops her from bothering me In the future... I did notice a few people look at it as well and like body block their child... which was so stupid.. istg conservatives think we're the boogeyman or some shit. Also kept getting misgendered... some lady who knew me from my childhood says "oh you've grown into such a beautiful young lady" and I straight up felt ill..

Anyway.. during that event my mother had a medical emergency.. she had a mini stroke.. my mom was very confused wasn't aware of her surroundings.. she's normally super resistant to going to the hospital and will fight you.. but she was so confused she got up, got her shoes on and got into the car and walked into the hospital without a fight...later she nearly punched me in the face while we were trying to hold her down so the nurses could get an IV in.. (they don't have daytime security at the local hospital and they don't have restraints) she said she doesn't remember any of it..,

As for my relationship.. I still have a boyfriend.. he's been pretty busy with work though.. his boss moved him to a super inconvenient schedule 3pm to 9pm.. every single day, no days off..

He's also had so much trouble with his car that it's not even funny. It's all been the coolant.. he thinks he's fixed it though so.. I'm hoping that won't be an issue as much.

So it's been hard for us (especially me.., because.. like my last relationship ended shortly after my ex couldn't make it out to see me.., he did finally admit it was excuses so.. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was afraid of that happening again) but we're enduring it.. he's a sweetheart and has been making time to talk to me after work almost every night until he gets too tired to continue..

It helps a lot.. he makes me feel wanted and he is trying his best to make it work so we can see eachother in person 😊he'll be coming out tomorrow morning and staying until 1pm.. we only get 2 hrs together but it's fine.. any amount of time with him that I get is worth it.

I promised him one day if he's able to visit for longer we'll watch Heathers: The Musical and get slushies... mountain dew, cherry or lime flavored ofc (iykyk) he's into that idea thankfully lol..

it's a requirement that everyone in my life watches Heathers at least once... I've seen it so many times I could almost recite the entire thing... 🤭

But that's all for now, when I get the motivation I will write requests!

[gladiolidiaries]

this dteam stream hype is giving me flashbacks to that one pride month where dream kept promising to stream a bunch and streamed once for a single hour on the last day of the month…idk i just don’t have high hopes with them, especially when it comes to planned streams. i keep telling myself to have zero expectations so i don’t get disappointed but it’s kinda difficult when they keep announcing that exciting stuff is gonna happen “soon” and nothing happens. this is why the best streams are always the random chill streams like the recent gnf one

i feel like that's Dream's biggest issue like he feels the need to create hype. Maybe it would have been better if we hadn't even known about the Christmas streams. I just hope he realized by now that it's an issue.

Also I wonder if he plans on streaming semi regularly again after these Christmas streams? It's just so hard to imagine.

[nickward]

My friend is an amazing Sydney producer and rapper, or at least I think so. He doesn't seem to have the confidence to do more with his music, even though he does everything himself and puts it up on Spotify. Is there anything that Jacinthe or anyone has said to you that has really stuck with you to raise your confidence/motivation?

Thanks Nick,

hmgmgmh it’s funny cos i think the best advice is stuff that you feel like you’ve ‘found’ yourself. kinda like the whole IKEA principle i guess. anyway i think the main source of motivation has always come from the work/process. don’t place so much weight on the product. just focus on fun and imaginative ways of making sounds - just focus on the expression, rather than whether or not it has 100k streams. confidence is hard to speak on cos it’s taken me so long. i don’t have heaps of confidence in myself as a person sometimes. my pride comes from the work. letting the work speak for itself in place of me. i think something that took me a while to figure out is the whole “no one cares” idea. i have a friend who always kinda resorts to that phrase whenever we’re talking about big stuff or concepts. tbh i think it’s a little nihilistic in certain contexts, but i just interpret it as - you’re looking at your work under a microscope, while a large majority of ppl are just gonna see the big picture from afar. this is not to say that you should be avoiding any kind of detail/thought in your work because ‘no one cares’ - i’m saying that people just want undeniably great art. great music isn’t always an intellectual thing - it’s just in your body. you might be picking apart every single word of a verse, but if the core idea isn’t strong then it doesn’t matter. good music comes from standing up and dancing in your room. it comes from that flow state, when you’re just locked into the feeling and emotion of what you’re making. stop worrying about the plug-ins you own or the spotify streams>money calculator. making music sucks a lot of the time. i’ve spent so many weeks, months and in 2019, a whole year of overthinking and writers block. just take a step back! put away the microscope

[hiraya-rawr]

So with I Love You So, my brain to has been rotting inside out with the idea of a sickly wife with a wholeass harem. Nothing angsty really, just a bunch of people looking at reader and falling in love in a lighthearted sense, and I imagine there to be this tug of war from all sides while reader's just there like "haha so yesterday I slept for 16 hrs"

It's kinda hard for me to explain but I find the concept funny of an oblivious, sickly wife, her irate husband trying to fend back pursuers while trying not to encroach on her personal stuff, and her pursuers who are all on their hands and knees simping hardcore

And with so many characters?? Diluc's gonna have a field day scrutinizing all the gifts and letters not just from Mondt but from Liyue and Inazuma too

Beloved Sickly Wife

: A Diluc Brainrot

note: wait wait this concept is adorable!! It doesn't even have to be a romantic harem, just everyone genuinely adoring the sickly wife while the husband tries to back off the entirety of Mond that wants to cross the line like-

cw: old fashioned mindsets (ish)

navigation

I'm usually not into the harem concept, but the comedic potential of Diluc fending off suitors is too good to put aside.

It was ridiculous, really.

The day you found out about an old contract signed by your deceased grandparents and the Ragnvindr family – promising a political union between the eldest Ragnvindr son and L/N daughter – you almost laughed in the lawyer's face.

Your condition was an open secret and you grew up accepting that it would be of great disrespect to any noble household – much more the Ragnvindrs of Mondstadt – for you to wed into them. It just seemed a little taboo for families who pride themselves with their strong and healthy bloodlines to marry someone so sickly.

Diluc Ragnvindr was a man of composure and ideals; he was proud of his family and meticulous in nature. Surely a man with that much sense would refuse a disadvantageous marriage proposal, demand for a legal case, and easily win, right?

Except no.

To all of that.

He was a nonsensical man who didn't even refuse the contract, much less plea a case.

Instead, it took one marriage meeting, a pen, and a single swish of his signature agreeing to the marriage.

You haven't even signed the thing yet and he looked up at you expectantly, as if you didn't come all the way to ask for his legal refusal (a plan you would have supported all the way had he gone through with it!)

Within a few months, you were married and living the incredible, domestic life of a Ragnvindr while Diluc was the ideal husband in every way; he fulfilled all contractual conditions, ate breakfasts and dinners with you, was never seen entertaining another person in a way that would cause a scandal, and properly met all your needs.

You were blissfully comfortable but sometimes, you'd think about how truly nonsensical he was. Practically insane in the way he married a sick person for a contract when he could have worked around it.

You were also worried about the backlash. The Ragnvindrs was an honorable household to Mond, citizens spoke of them with pride and bards still sing their heroic tales from history. Surely, they wouldn't like you marrying into the house?

Contrary to popular belief, the people loved you.

The maids would spoil you and tended to your needs without question, the citizens would offer you little gifts whenever you pass their shops, the elderly always had something to say to you and the kids loved coming up to chatter.

Mondstadt loved you — something Diluc was happy about but... if only they loved you a little less.

Bouquets of flowers were quite a common gift for you, whether it's from the children or the grandparents, but Diluc had internal struggles with letting you receive flowers from available men and women.

He also didn't like how people would crowd around you to talk when you roamed the city with him. He barely had time to take you out on dates yet they would disturb your precious moments!

Kaeya would tease him; the most wanted ex-bachelor and uncrowned king now has to fend off his wife's fan base.

Oh and when you both started involving yourselves in social seasons? Or making friends with people beyond Mondstadt?

You start having tea time with a funeral consultant from Liyue, wandering the newly opened Inazuma with the Yashiro commissioner, receiving Snezhnayan trinkets – all of which Diluc didn't exactly mind but it would be a lie to say he wasn't feeling a bit wary.

Just a ♪( ´▽｀) kind of wife with a（ ಠ_ಠ ）kind of husband ramble.

I kind of trailed off in the end, comedy isn't my forte but I do love a cute dynamic.

[miekasa]

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan. 

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up. 

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter. 

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning. 

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night. 

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off. 

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking. 

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you. 

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font. 

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit. 

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener. 

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven. 

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears. 

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too. 

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao. 

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with. 

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll. 

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it. 

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too. 

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method). 

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth. 

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking. 

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out. 

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy. 

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin. 

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.” 

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves. 

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape. 

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans. 

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you. 

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you. 

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him. 

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard.