#previously had tickets are going to get tickets at all this time around when that could have been avoided with a simple venue

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

I know there's probably behind the scenes politics and all that shit involved, but gotta be real, it feels like a weird choice not to have The Weeknd play the MCG in Melbourne given he cut at least 2 Sydney dates from the previously cancelled dates.

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻

The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.

The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.

Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.

But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.

Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly

If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?

Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know

Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..

To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind

Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave

Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.

I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.

Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little

Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again

The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.

She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.

Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.

That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her

I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers

Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment

Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure

She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers

Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true

Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile

Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile

''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''

Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled

Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down

Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players

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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.

The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other

''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze

There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair

Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him

There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more

No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head

Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room

''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath

Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me

Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed

As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.

You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes

I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor

Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it

''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other

Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it

This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate

Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor

Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath

Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly

''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again

What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared

Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room

What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath

What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses

The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset

What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor

This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside

No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it

'' 10..9..8..7 ''

NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell

''6…5…4…3''

PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..

''2…1…''

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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper @etta-huracan @cupiid1 @alianacelinecolux @juliexz @duchcess

[tulpanya]

How would everyone react when they have a crush? Are the obvious or good at keeping secret that they have a huge love for the reader?

a crush? on you? haha... yeah.

includes : (mouthwashing) anya, curly, daisuke, swansea.

summary : how they are when they have a crush on you!

warnings : gn! reader.

ANYA

It takes Anya a while to realize she has a crush on you, either because she's pushing her blooming feelings very far down or because she's just a bit oblivious.

When she does finally come to terms with the fact she has a crush on you?

She suddenly gets very clumsy whenever you enter a room, and her thoughts are all askew whenever you send her a smile or ask her a question. It becomes a little obvious that something is up with her.

"Anya?" You call after catching her from almost tripping and landing on her face. "You okay?" She blinks up at you a few times, her brain slowly processing what's happening.

"I- uhm, huh?" Concern is written all over your face. You help her stand upright, though you don't let her scramble away like she was planning.

"Let's get you to the medbay, I'll give you a check up." Her face is flushed, especially when you insist on helping her walk back to medbay, which only makes you more concern for her wellbeing.

In terms of affection, Anya does grow a little detached because she worries that perhaps her previously casual and friend-like affection will make you uncomfortable.

She definitely isn't one to make any moves on you despite her growing feelings. She'll wait until you ask her out- and if that never happens then she'll just try her hardest to put the feelings to rest.

Anya is very patient though, so take your time- but maybe not too long, yeah?

CURLY

TAKES SO, SO LONG for him to realize he has a crush on you. He has a lot of responsibilities so romance isn't necessarily at the top of him mind

He finally realizes he may or may not have giant crush on you when despite himself he finds himself missing your presence. He just wants to sit with you, talk to you, be near you, forever and ever and oh... he has a crush!

As soon as he realizes? He is trying to romance you.

"Flowers? For me?" You're honestly surprised when Curly hands you a bouquet of your favorite flowers. He's got his charming smile that could make anyone swoon, his eyes twinkling with something you can't quite place (love), and he holds up two tickets to a movie you've been dying to go see.

"I- Curly, what is this all about?" He lets out a low hum, leaning against your doorway, his arms crossed and an easy smile on his lips.

"Well I was thinking, if you wanted to, let's go on a date." It seems like it came out of nowhere, but he's been slowly trying to charm you since the moment he realized his feelings. Whether or not you decline is up to you, and Curly will respect your choice, but he oh-so-hopes that you'll join him for a dinner and movie.

He 100% makes his affections known when he has a crush on you. The favoritism is insane, and anyone who points it out will be met with Curly confirming his crush on you.

Of course if it makes you uncomfortable, Curly will take it down a notch, but if you seem to enjoy his affections and cute courting tactics then he'll definitely ramp it up.

Either way, Curly takes action when it comes to having a crush!

DAISUKE

Daisuke realizes he has a crush on you the second he develops one but he won't really saying anything about it.

He's very good at keeping it cool- his feelings only make him want to be an even better friend to you! Honestly, you can't really tell if he has a crush on you or not bc anything he does could be written off as being a good friend!

But there are a few indicators if you look hard enough: Daisuke puts a little extra effort into his appearance, he'll get a little frazzled if you compliment him, his touch will linger a little longer than normal, his playful flirting seeming a little more serious, etc.

Daisuke had messed around with his hair for almost an hour- it just wasn't falling the way he wanted it to, the way he knew you'd compliment him for, so he was stuck messing with it until it was perfect. When he finally glanced over at the time, dread filled his stomach. Good appearance or not, he was definitely late to your meet up!

The whole way to meeting you, he was fussing with his outfit, however in his eyes the stress was definitely worth it as he stepped his way over to where you were waiting. "Hey, sorry, I was-"

"Woah! Daisuke, why do you look so good? Now I feel like I should've dressed up more!" His eyes widened a little at your response, but then a soft smile graces his features and a warmth blossomed on his cheeks.

"No, you look perfect."

Daisuke's affections are so casual yet so romantic that he's definitely the type to make your other friends ask if you two are dating or not already.

Although he has no plans on actually acting on his crush yet, wanting to wait to ask you out until he's certain it's something you want to, he definitely does daydream about it and giggle to himself often.

Daisuke really likes having a crush, the way his heart races and he gets all giddy around you is super addictive to him.

SWANSEA

Dread. The moment Swansea realizes he's developing a crush on you he is filled with dread. He thinks crushes are childish and he can't believe he managed to get one.

Whenever he catches himself being too lenient or sweet with you, he'll immediately do a double take and accidentally be a little rude to you. It's very confusing for you.

Swansea is definitely an acts of service type of guy, so bet that if he has a crush on you that he'll be helping you with anything and everything.

"You did good." Swansea nodded, praising you for your work. You sent him a grin, which had his heart skipping a beat or two. He grunted, suddenly becoming too aware of everything- how his body is heating up, how sweet he was being, how close he was to you- everything.

"Uh, but you also fucked up this part- just lemme do it..." He grumbled as if he was annoyed... and he was, just not at you. He didn't miss the small frown that you gave him, which only made him feel worse. Damn it, why did you have to be so confusing to be around?!

"Don't... Ugh, don't be upset. You did good for your first time, okay?" He mumbled, and he didn't check to see if you heard him or not because either way- a smile or a frown- would have him spiraling.

His crush definitely isn't obvious to the untrained eye- in fact most people actually begin to think he hates you. Those who really pay attention though will catch on to his actions and suspect he likes you though.

Swansea definitely isn't blabbering about his crush either, he's keeping that shit under tight wraps until he's ready.

He'll eventually come to terms with his feelings, and when he does, it won't take him too much longer until he's ready to confess how he feels, but until then... stay strong.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

[forsaken-headcanons]

I had a simple idea: what if the survivors and killers swapped roles? And that idea proceeded to snowball into a full-blown yap sesh. I’m so silly when it comes to Forsaken, y’all 😋

(This is a VERY long post, so it’s been split up into two sections. Hope you don’t mind, mod!)

“KILLERS”

Noob - Picture a lone noob, lost in the spectre’s domain. No food. No shelter. Nothing. They finally come across another survivor…or should I say sustenance. That’s right. I took Noob’s whole ‘eating snacks’ thing and turned them into a cannibal. How fun! ☺️ Kind-of takes the role of Jason with a hint of Guest 666? That comment will probably change when 666 comes out, but for now, their kit revolves around tracking down survivors one by one. They can turn mostly invisible for a short period, too.

Chance - Two Face with a touch of Jigsaw. Gambling has completely overtaken his life, with his favourite being betting on lives. Never his, of course. And gods forbid he loses… Doesn’t really take the role of anyone. They specialize in ranged attacks, but he has a melee attack, too. He still has the coin flip, but it’s used to give him a random effect (can be anything from speed I to blindness III) and the only way to get rid of said-abilities is Hat Fix. But use it wisely, as that gets rid of the good abilities, too. The only way to earn bullets is by hitting survivors. He can store a max of 3, just like before. No misfiring (🎉), but the gun attack is probably hella telegraphed.

Guest 1337 - Gotta love a corrupt police officer! Well, soldier. But still- I regretfully can’t say who this guy’s main inspiration was, but I can imagine him working closely with Builderman to enact their shared (and crooked) sense of justice. His gameplay loop revolves around running down + stunning survivors. He doesn’t need to block to do a punch anymore. Instead, his block will actually give brief slowness + a highlighted aura to anyone foolish enough to hit him while it’s active. His punch (still) has a delay, but considering how it stuns survivors, I’d say it’s worth it.

Two Time - So obsessed with death/rebirth, they drove themselves mad and proceeded to go on a killing spree to ‘share this truth amongst the nonbelievers’. Mildly inspired by the Cult of the Lamb bishops, and takes the role of Jason (aka the free killer). Bro just runs around with a dagger lol. Though they have a considerably low health pool for a killer, TT makes up for it by gaining access to their second life form upon dying. They move much faster while in this state, so it’s actually advised to NOT stun them all willy-nilly, lest you unintentionally buff the killer.

Elliot - Hell hath no fury like an overworked minimum wage employee. Elliot had enough, and now EVERYONE’S gonna pay for it. Especially vengeful towards c00lkidd, and would play a special theme upon him being the last survivor. Sort of takes the role of John Doe? I mean- he revolves around dropping poisoned pizzas/other pizza-themed traps to slow down and weaken survivors.

Builderman - Oh, shoot! He has his banhammer! Oh no! He’s using it on everyone! Builderman believes that his ticket out of here involves purging the spectre’s domain of evil…but has since developed the morality of a corrupt judge. How lovely! As previously mentioned, he works closely with Guest 1337 to achieve his goals. A mix between John Doe and c00lkidd. He still builds machines, but they act like motion sensors for the most part.

Shedletsky - A self-proclaimed master swordsman, with an ego to match. Shed let the power of being an admin get to his head. He’s the most important person in the room, and will strike down anyone who says otherwise. Takes the role of 1x1x1x1. He’d use different SFOTH swords to do different attacks (Venomshank for basic swinging, Icedagger for Entanglement, Darkheart for Mass Infection,  Illumina for Unstable Eye, and Ghostwalker for Rejuvenate the Rotten). Oh, and someone snatched his chicken. I wonder who? 🤔 

007n7 - Slightly inspired by Bacon General from The Last Guest, this version of 07 wasn’t quite ready to retire, even when a baby was left on his doorstep. If anything, a child meant that he could pass down his skills to someone else. And thus he continued to reign chaos all around him, all the while pressuring his son to do the same. As a killer, he still uses scripts and exploits to give him an unfair advantage. Takes the role of c00lkidd, and uses the same moves as OG kidd for the most part. Instead of summoning clones, he instead teleports to the closest survivor (which briefly stuns him upon arriving, just to nerf it a little).

— Respawn Anon

I think you absolutely cooked on all of these. Specifically Guest 1337, Shedletsky and Builderman. These are so creative.

[nfr-girly]

I just realized I haven't been following you. Please forgive me for my transgressions.

Hasan, whose partner just came back from a like two or three week vacation

tysm for the request!! and don’t even worry boo <3

Reunion - Hasan piker x reader

summary: you reunite with Hasan after being away for two weeks

————————————————————————

This was the first time you and Hasan had been away from eachother this long, it was coming up to your one year anniversary, and although you two were hoping to celebrate it together, you had almost forgotten about a vacation you had booked since last year. It was a two week trip you and your friends had planned together, having finally saved up enough money between all of you to go.

Words couldn’t describe how unbelievably guilty you felt, although you had booked the trip way before you two even got together, you weren’t able to refund your ticket, or find anyone else who was able to go in your place, wish meant you had no choice but to miss it.

Hasan promised you that he had no problem with it and that he wasn’t mad, insisting you go spend time with your friends. The whole week before you left you spoiled him with special meals made before and after his stream, you didn’t need to do it, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it.

Much to your irritation, he occasionally reminded you of you missing your anniversary, just to get kisses from you.

One night, you two were cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie. You were perched in his arms, head on his shoulder blade while his chin lied on your shoulder. He pulled back, lips slightly grazed your ear as he whispered to you:

“So you know how you’re missing our one year anniversary…..” he put emphases on the one year part, which earned him a light snack to the face

He laughed, “what? I thought we agreed that was my free pass to kisses”

inevitably, you gave in.

When it rolled around to the day of your flight, both of you were gutted to have to say goodbye to eachother. Dropping you off at the airport, he hugged you and refused to let go, whispering in your ear a set of sweet words for you to think about on your flight. You had to be separated by your friend, and finally he got the courage to turn back around and head to the car. The entire time you were in the airport, you and him were texting back and forth, mostly him checking in to see if you were okay.

For you, those two weeks were filled with lots of dining out, dancing, drinking and seeing popular tourist sights. For him, those weeks were spent stalking your instagram and missing you like crazy. He didn’t regret convincing you to go on the trip, seeing your posts and highlights he can see you’re having the time of your life. But the house has never felt more empty, especially when it does eventually roll around to your anniversary.

With you being away, the only advantage he’s had was having more time to buy you things. He picked out a variety of things to get you, flowers, skincare, clothes, anything he saw in the shops he knew you’d like (and had pointed out to him previously.) On the one year mark, he woke up and immediately texted you, writing out an insanely huge paragraph that he wasn’t even sure you’d have time to read.

In it he declared how happy he was you were with him, how this past year’s been nothing but bliss and you’re the reason why. How you’ve become the greatest parent to Kaya, and the best partner to him. How he hopes that you two will have many more years to come and many more occasions to celebrate. He ends it off with a quick I love you and wishing you have a good day.

He turned off his phone to start his workout, he wasn’t completely sure when you’d get the text, considering the different time zones but he just hopes that you see it and are able to understand how much he truly appreciates you. You did end up reading it, and your friends had to find you tearing up at how wonderful of a man life had given you.

Eventually, the day to return home came around. And although you were really enjoying the vacation, you were excited to finally be back in Hasan’s arms.

You had called him the night before, reminding him you were coming back home. Originally, you were going to get dropped off, since your friend’s boyfriend was coming to pick you all up. But he insisted on coming to the airport to get you himself, wanting to be the first one to see you.

The flight was long, and everyone was getting leg cramps from staying sat down for so long. When you finally got off the plane, you all did mini stretches to get rid of any tense muscles.

The whole way to the airport, Hasan was giddy just thinking about seeing you. He had woken up extra early this morning, got dressed up in nice clothes, he even prepared a bag for you filled with snacks, water, a blanket if you needed it.

Pulling into one of the parking spaces, he got out the car, opening the back to make sure there was room for your bag.

He headed inside, the crowd of people both entering and exiting the place would usually overwhelm him, but frankly he didn’t care as he bolted straight to where you’d be meeting him.

He waited anxiously by the gate, hands in pockets and unable to stand still, rocking on his feet. 20 minutes go by before he hears a bundle of people come through. He looks up and starts searching for your group. He sees your friend group come, and he sees you in the middle. He swears you’ve magically become more gorgeous over that 2 weeks.

You see him and wave, smiling. He waves back. You hug and say goodbye to your friends as they head towards entrance. Dragging your suitcase along, you approach him

You put down the case. “Hi” you say, giggling

You don’t get another word in before he scoops you up in his arms, twirling your feet up in the air.

He spins you around, and you laugh loudly. Finally putting you down, you grab his face and pull him in, connecting your lips to his.

He holds your waist, pulling you nearer, almost scared of letting you go. You pull away for air, “I missed you” he declares. “So so much”

You smile and place your forehead on his, stroking his beard, you respond.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry we couldn’t spend our anniversary together” you whisper.

He shakes his head, “it’s okay. We can celebrate it at home. I bought you some things” he grins

You raise your eyebrows in curiosity, “oh yeah? Well I brought some things back as a souvenir, plus I bought some things for you before I left”

“Oh, is this a competition now? On who got the better gifts?” He teases

You laugh and nod, “maybe”

laughing, he pulls you in once more and kisses you, this time even more passionate than the last.

He pulls away, interlocking your fingers together, he takes your suitcase from you. You two walk to the exit together, catching up on what you’ve both been up to.

He speaks up, “Kaya’s missed you like crazy. I showed her a picture of you and she went ballistic.”

You laugh, “I’ve missed her too, no more than you of course” you tease

He smiles, asking you, “you tired?” To which you nod

“Okay, I’ve brought a blanket for you, you get some rest okay? I’ll wake you up when we’re at home.”

When you reach the car, he helps you in, tucking you in with a blanket and pillow, kissing your head, he closes the door and makes his way to the drivers side.

He starts up the car, just before he pulls out, you reach your hand over and grab his, interlocking them. He looks down at you and smiles, kissing the back of your hand before driving off. The whole ride home, your hand never leaves his.

masterlist <3

[sserafics]

MAKE A WISH — henry h. x fem reader

fluff, use of y/n, reader has a bad experience w/ bdays, friends to lovers (?), set in season 4-5, second person pov

(requested!)

the dread you feel when you wake up on your birthday isn’t unfamiliar. every year it’s like this. quiet. lonely. though, it’s not all bad. at least you don’t have people nagging at you to open their presents first.. or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

your birthday has never been something you particularly look forward to; the day has always been filled with empty promises, disappointment, or just being alone in general.

this year, you’ve decided to just stay home, locked in your room all day with a blanket and movies you love to watch on repeat.

you’re curled up on your bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets while you watch a movie you’ve seen a thousand times before.

it was peaceful, almost like today was just a normal day, and not something you should be celebrating with friends and family; until a knock on your window startles you. you frown and pause the movie, getting out of bed and walking to your window. you open the blinds slowly, squinting against the light that filters into the previously dark room.

your brow furrows when you see your best friend, henry hart standing— or sitting on the tree next to your window.

“happy birthday, y/n.” he beams, smiling widely as if he’s not one slip away from falling two stories down. he’s holding a box in his hand, wrapped neatly with colored paper.

you blink. “henry, what are you doing here?” you ask, still frowning as you help him inside.

“i’m here you kidnap you,” he says sarcastically, slipping through your window effortlessly. he hands you the box he was holding, gesturing for you to open it.

you take it, looking at him skeptically before popping the lid open.

“i know you like to spend your birthday alone, but i thought you’d wanna give this a shot.” he gestures to the box, where two tickets to a carnival lay, next to a small pack of your favorite candy. a small smile makes its way to your lips.

you look back up at him, now hesitant as you remember your past birthdays. the disappointment and sadness the day always brought, but there’s a look in his eyes that intrigues you.

“i don’t know..” you murmur, your gaze trailing back to the tickets.

“come on,” he urges you gently, “just give me a few hours. if you hate it, i’ll bring you back, deal?”

you bite your lip, still a bit skeptical.

“i already bought the tickets.” he adds, smiling again at the look on your face after he says that.

you sigh, still debating in your mind if this is worth the trouble, after all, birthdays aren’t really your thing, yet the look on his face makes you second guess yourself.

you nod after a moment. “fine, but just a few hours.”

henry’s grin widens and he takes your hand, leading you out your room. as the two of you leave your house, you can’t help but wonder why he didn’t just knock on the front door. your parents aren’t home anyway, so it’s not like it’d matter.

you don’t have much time to dwell on the thought, the lights and sounds of the carnival ahead breaking you out of your thoughts.

when you arrive, your eyes widen in awe. the colorful lights, the laughter of children, the delicious smell of popcorn and cotton candy— all fills your senses as you two walk in. the atmosphere is a start contrast to the quiet day you had planned on having. you look over at henry and see he’s already looking at you, smiling at your reaction.

“well? what do you think?” he asks, letting go of your hand briefly to fetch the tickets, handing them to the guy in the booth.

“it’s… nice.” you mumble, still looking around at the lively atmosphere.

after the two of you are let in, you approach the game booths. despite your initial reluctance on coming, you start to feel excitement and enthusiasm as he hands the woman at the ring toss booth a few quarters.

you stifle a laugh as henry tries (but fails) to win you a specific panda plush that caught your eye the moment you stepped foot in the carnival.

the two of you have been standing here for about ten minutes, him being determined to win you the plush.

“here, let me try.” you tell him, taking one of the darts from his hands. you turn back towards the booth and throw the dart, hitting the exact balloon he was aiming for, a prideful smile forming on your lips as the man in the booth reaches for the plush and hands it to you.

you look over at henry, who looks shocked. his jaw dropped, almost looking offended at you hitting the balloon so effortlessly.

“i’m supposed to be winning you prizes for your birthday, not the other way around, y/n” he says, sounding exasperated yet joking.

you laugh and reach for his hand, pulling him toward another booth, the panda plush tucked under your arm. “cmon, you can win me that one.” you add, pointing to a stuffed frog at a beanbag toss booth.

when the sun begins to set, a warm glow casting over the carnival from it, henry leads you to the ferris wheel. you hold onto the stuffed animals and the other things he managed to win you tightly as the two of you enter the pod.

you take a seat on one side of the ferris wheel, and you furrow your brows at the box sitting on the other side.

henry grabs the box and places it on his lap, opening the lid to reveal a small cake, that writes ‘happy birthday y/n’ in cursive lettering on top.

“i made this for you.” he smiles, pulling out a small pack of candles and a lighter, lighting them as the ferris wheel begins to slowly move.

he holds the cake near your face, the light of the candles illuminating your face. he smiles wider as he says, “make a wish, y/n”

you close your eyes, a warm feeling in your chest slowly building up as you make your wish. you open your eyes and blow out the candles, smiling softly.

you look at him again, noticing his face closer than your used to. you don’t pull away, though.

he laughs awkwardly before pulling out a plastic fork from the box and cutting a small piece from the cake. “say ‘ah’” he smirks playfully, holding the piece up to your mouth.

you roll your eyes but part your lips, allowing him to feed you. he feeds you a few bites and even purposely smears a bit of frosting onto your nose, making your face scrunch up. he laughs at that and sets the cake down on the seat. you turn to look out the window, taking in the view of swellview below you, the sunset casting a warm glow over the buildings.

“hey, y/n.” his voice rings out, making you turn back to look at him, confused.

“yeah?”

“you’ve got some frosting,” he gestures vaguely to your face, making you frown and try to wipe it away.

“no, no. not there.” he adds, smiling wider and leaning closer. you don’t notice at first. he gently grabs your wrist to stop you from rubbing at your face.

“where is it?-“ you began, thinking he’d get it for you, but your words cut off when he suddenly leaned in and kissed you softly, cupping your cheek.

the kiss was short, almost like it never happened, but the way his hand cups your face assures you that it’s real. your best friend is kissing you.

you pull back after a moment, your cheeks feeling hot as you open your eyes, looking up at him.

“got it.” he comments smugly.

you blink. your wish came true.

later that night, as henry helps you climb back into your window, you can’t help but ask him something that’s been on your mind since earlier.

as you plop into your bedroom, you turn back to the window, where he’s sitting on the tree again.

“hey henry?”

“hm?” he hums, looking back at you, slightly confused.

“schwoz made the cake, didn’t he?”

…

“…yeah.”

(a/n) omf this took me so long to post 😞 thank u to whoever requested this!! it was so cute and fun to write 🫶🏻 also to everyone else who sent me a request i’ll try my best to get them done soon! thank u for ur patience and i hope you guys enjoyed reading!!! :)

[stevesbipanic]

@steddielovemonth Day 24: Love is the only thing we can take with us. 

@thefreakandthehair

Steve looked around his room, it would be the last time he did. He could hear his parents still arguing downstairs. He knew he didn't have a lot of time, soon he'd hear his father's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"You're no son of mine!"

Steve hadn't felt like his son in a long time anyway. When he thought of dads he thought of Hopper at his graduation or Wayne watching the game with him. He'd called Hopper, Dad, when he woke up in the hospital and saw the previously dead police chief at his bedside. No, Steve Harrington hadn't been Richard Harrington's son in a long time.

He knew he didn't have much time, but he'd been planning for this moment, the day they would find out. It was inevitable, small town, nosy neighbours. Steve kept his room impersonal for a reason, it wouldn't last forever. Kneeling quickly he grabbed his box, it was all he would need.

The clothes he actually liked wearing weren't in this closet anymore, the beemer had always been in his name. Nothing else in the house mattered but this box. The last piece of Steve in these four walls.

"Steven?"

He'd asked her to call him Steve all his life, she didn't.

"Can't you see what you're doing to your mother?"

Maria Harrington hadn't been Steve's mother in a long time. Mothers were there for their kids when they woke up from nightmares. Claudia never judged when he woke up screaming on the couch. A true mother looked after their son when he was sick in bed, soup and comfort and love. Joyce brought him soup last winter, when the flu had him stuck in bed, he didn't even call, she just knew.

"I know, I'm leaving now."

"Please, Steven, there are places we can go to fix you," she cried. Mothers don't think their kid's heart needs fixing.

"You were supposed to be a real man!" Richard yelled as he passed him down the stairs. Fathers are proud of their sons growing into protectors and carers.

"This will never be your home again!" Was the last thing Steve heard as he closed his car door and placed the small box on the passenger seat. Parents always have a home waiting for you, even when they think you're wrong.

"Steve?"

Wayne is the first one to spot him as he arrives at the trailer. It's sunday, family dinner at the rotating family table. Tonight was meant to be at the Munsons.

"Steve, honey? You ok?" Joyce is the first one to touch him, worry in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, son." Hopper is the first one to read his teary eyes like a book. They all knew where he'd been.

Claudia gingerly took the box from him, "I'll put this in your room, sweetheart, let Eddie know you're back home."

Steve could hear the kids yelling around the picnic table outside; could smell dinner cooking. Robins laughter piercing though the air and Eddie's boombox playing loudly.

"Baby?"

There he was.

"Hey, Eds, think we'll have to move up that moving date, if it's ok?"

Eddie's features softened from worry to sympathy, "Course, sunshine, although I'm still surprised Joyce and Hop didn't kidnap you months ago.

Later, when he'd given everyone hugs goodbye, some were a bit tighter than others, he sat on the bed with his box.

"You wanna unpack that alone, or want help?"

"You can look, it's not a secret, just special," Steve replied, patting the space next to him. Eddie plopped himself down beside his boyfriend, lifting the lid.

Inside was a mess of bits and pieces. Eddie reached in and took out a stack of photos. Steve at his graduation, a big smile with Hopper's arm around his shoulders, Dustin beaming beside him. Robin putting Steve in a headlock at the quarry last summer, he refuses to say he let her win. Eddie at his first show back, scars on full display. And countless other memories.

There were also little toys from the arcade and pebbles and ticket stubs and letters and a full life story of one Steve Harrington told through the love of his family.

"This was all I went back to get, all I needed. Wasn't expecting them to know about you already, but I knew they'd find out one day. Couldn't let them have this, not after they spent so long trying to take my heart from me."

"I think it's high time we clear some space around here for all this, Stevie, time to let your love be out on full display."

When Steve fell asleep that night, wrapped in the arms of a boy who went to hell from him and staring at the new photos on the wall, he truly felt home.

[sevikasbooyahh]

𝐓𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐇𝐂'𝐬

They can never make me hate her, NEVER.

Warning: Cute, cutie and cuteness

This woman does NOT know how to relax. During her time as senator-elect, she’d be going back and forth with paperwork, interviews and speeches.

“Taissa,” you sighed out as you walked into her office, seeing her eyes firmly locked on paperwork. “Yes, love?” She asked without giving you a glance. “Come to bed, I’m not telling you again,” the firm tone of your voice made her falter just a little bit. “I’d love to but—“”It’s not a choice. Come to bed.” She rolled her eyes, she could handle all-nighters, but you wouldn’t let that pass. “Fine,” she muttered, neatly stacking the papers in order before getting up from her chair, back aching from her previously slouched posture. Once she felt your hand rest against the sore spot, her tense body relaxed.

Is very affectionate. On the outside she’s this composed, serious, and professional woman, which she is. She isn’t afraid to be affectionate in public, you are her wife, and she isn’t hiding that.

Whenever she’s super stressed out, you give her a nice warm bubble bath.

She leaned back against the tub, sinking into the warm water. It felt too hot on her skin, nearly scolding, but she didn’t have the energy to speak on it. You lowered yourself into the tub, across from her. “Comfortable?” You asked softly, concerned at her quietness. She simply nodded, and that was all you needed. There were many times where she would dissociate, lost in her own head, watching her body from the outside. She stared at the ripples of the water as you continued to move. It was quiet, neither of you minded.

The biggest yearner in the world, maybe even more than Shauna, we’ve seen it.

Lowkey can’t cook ‘cause she’s always tired and if you can’t either then oh well. You’ll be surviving on frozen meals and takeout for as long as you can. Otherwise, she makes a mean Alfredo pasta (yes, that specifically).

Absolutely loves talking you any and everywhere. She will show you the whole world—especially if you mention a country you want to go to, baby, she already packed your bags and booked them tickets.

Has a fear of planes, for the obvious reason. But she had to get used to not only traveling in the car. Besides, she has you.

Her eyes were closed, taking controlled breaths. She opened them back up, staring at the view from her window. The buildings and greenery of the ground were long gone, all that remained was the blueness of the ocean and the transparency of the clouds. She couldn’t help but think back to looking out the window in the beginning moments of the crash. It was all blurred out, the acceleration increasing as the plane continued to fall and fall, they hit the ground—she took a sharp intake of air. She felt a squeeze of her hand, looking down to see your hand on top of hers. She wasn’t there, she was here, with you. Nothing was going to happen.

Confused half of the time—especially with the things she hears from Shauna and Misty, plain insanity.

Self-care queen, (take 3x06 as an example), after impeaching herself, she actually started to let herself relax. Imagine the shock you felt when she suggested that you two have a spa-day.

“Um…are you okay?” She asked cautiously as she saw you frozen in place. “What did you just say?” You muttered, eyes wide and searching hers, to see if she was possibly joking. “If we can have a spa-day?” She repeated her earlier question, next thing you know, she’s being squeezed like she’d disappear on spot. Despite her confusion, she hugged you back, semi-lanky arms wrapped around your shoulders.

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back!! and I have a bunch of chapters this time, so let's see how I do with this one.

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag

CHAPTER 13 (third house skull for coronabeer)

the sticky notes with little giraffes my sister had gifted me to read nona ran out so I had to get a couple packets of colorful stickies to continue

I bought two packs of 200 each and was like 'this for sure is gonna be more than enough'

I'm not sure of that now, after first use

I think nona might appreciate the colors (and the previous giraffes)

even if they're not tlt aesthetic

ANYWAY, we're leaving the meting with BOE in the not-so-secret-very-obvious-actually meeting place

nona apparently all along knew that el machetes was actually la machetes and her name is our lady of the passion aka pash

coronabeer asks her how she knows that and nona says it's the way she moves her bones

camilla asks coronabeer to let her see "her"

and insists, saying she can help "her"

by this point I'm, of course, thinking about judith

turns out, it is judith

camilla asks if judith is part of the negotiation, to which coronabeer responds that she is not, she's "their ticket out of there"

judith is in an awful state, btw

she's doing really badly, hooked to stuff, fed through tubes, looking like hell

nona feels bad for her

I feel really bad for her

what are you doing to that wet mouse

with no necromancers around, she's the only one who can help herself, and she can't always do it

let's remember coronabeer was a fake necromancer

and, apparently, varun is hurting her

nona states again that she doesn't like the sunglasses and, since camolive are busy, I'm gonna take note of that myself

camolive (which I had stated before that I thought was actually palmolive right now, but here it's still undetermined) asks for some space to work and help judith in this rudimentary medical setting they have her in

coronabeer is being very tsundere about it all

she's acting like she's not worried about the love of her life

but nona is like "I see you"

coronabeer clocks palmolive being himself and not camilla

(I CALLED IT)

palmolive says he hopes she didn't mess up judith on purpose to get him to show himself

you weren't subtle, my man

wearing sunglasses inside like bono

coronabeer says she won't tell anyone about palmolive and camilla sharing the body apartment

she tells palmolive about how camilla, judith and her bonded in summer camp detention with BOE

and how she was grieving for him but, after meeting harrow, she was fine, so she assumed camilla had always been right about the bones thing

the gall of thinking camilla can be wrong

judith can do half of the job of healing herself and needs palmolive to help her with the rest, while she comes in and out of making sense

nona reminds palmolive about the timer

coronabeer reminds judith where she is, but she sometimes gets fuzzy with it

judith tells them that if they say they have been coerced, she'll tell everyone that they didn't meant it

I think we're past that point, but hope is the last thing to lose, judith

coronabeer holds her hand while judith talks about how they're using her to go against her house and when coronabeer says she isn't making sense, she responds that coronabeer hasn't made sense in months

judith says her hands are too filthy to save camilla

nona thinks it's funny to think of someone having to save camilla

same, tbh

and then, she talks to nona

"Ninth, where is the mercy of the Tomb? Where is your sword in the coffin? Who are your masters now, and who do you master? Where is my cavalier, Reverend Daughter? Where is yours? Because I saw her in the waves —she was there in the gray water— I saw them all—they hurt me—where is my hunger? I eat and eat and eat without surcease, my green thing, my green-and-breathing thing..."

SO

I think my tally of this being harrow's body might be correct

not so sure about gideon's soul now, though, if judith is out there seeing her?

in the river? maybe?

she says "in the gray water" so maybe it is the river

maybe she can access the river in her almost-dead state?

or perhaps the one she saw was martita and not gideon?

maybe she could see all of the ghosties, because she said "I saw them all"

how does she know about gideon's sword in the coffin, though?

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS

LET ME FAIL

after that, she screams, palmolive puts her to sleep and then he switches with camilla

he puts her/his hand on her shoulder, which is cute

coronabeer then understands that camolive switch places and doesn't like it much

she swears by yandere twin that she won't tell about this and reminds camilla that she has kept her secrets before

wonder what yandere twin is doing rn

swimming in the river maybe idk

kissing dr john's ass and all that

or maybe not, if dr reverend emperor john is out there taking his monologue show on the road with alleged harrow-not-harrow

camilla offers coronabeer an out from BOE but coronabeer is too deep into judith to leave her

she frames it in a tsundere way, like "if something happens to judith, how am I getting out of here?"

I see you coronabeer, you're doomed

you love that wet mouse

coronabeer tells camilla "you and I don't own our own souls"

to which camilla replies "My soul's mine. You give yourself away to anyone who doesn't want you."

coronabeer says she always had a soft spot for palmolive

to which camilla says "you were part of the lie"

I think this has to do with the sixth house situation

nona, trying to make things less tense, makes things even more tense, as a treat

she asks about the water and the green thing that judith mentioned

both camilla and coronabeer look at her as if she was a ghost

coronabeer says "The Captain didn't say anything when you came into the room. She only screamed."

??????????????????????????????????

I had to go back, because judith responded to things palmolive and coronabeer said

after nona touches palmolive's arm and reminds him of the timer, judith asks where she is and coronabeer answers

they have a back and forth there

coronabeer even says she must have some eight in her blood because of the melodrama

she talks about the green thing and the water right after her and coronabeer where having a back and forth on whether they had or hadn't lived

and after she talks to nona/harrow, is when palmolive makes her sleep

so, at which point was this?????

if this is some sixth sense situation, coronabeer and palmolive shouldn't have been able to answer things judith said

and coronabeer very much did

I'm gonna trust they're not gaslighting nona and that something went on here

maybe they meant the screaming was only in the part where judith talks to nona specifically

we'll see

DON'T TELL ME

CHAPTER 14 (we've got the tomb back!)

coronabeer offers to drop nona at school and nona is so excited about it that she doesn't even consider the dangers of jumping out of the van and leaving camilla and pyrrha there

she thinks it's a selfish thing that won't have dangerous consequences because they have a code for when dangerous consequences are imminent

still, gotta put a child barrier on this one

they get spare masks and coronabeer offers nona her hood

coronabeer says that she has as much right to nona as camilla does and that nona isn't that much younger than camilla is, anyway

when nona says that she loves camilla, coronabeer asks if she loves her romantically

not in those adult words I just used, mind you, she says "Do you love love Camilla? In-love-with Camilla?"

use your grown up words, coronabeer

nona, on the other hand, feels out of her depth when spoken to like an adult

so she changes subject, telling coronabeer that camilla isn't coronabeer's type

coronabeer wants to talk about herself, which is a subject she's very passionate about

but it backfires like crazy when nona calls her out on acting flirty without meaning towards we suffer, wanting camilla to hug her but not in a sexy way and being in love with "th—"

this is judith, we're talking about judith

coronabeer is upset at being dissected emotionally and nona says "You shouldn't ask me things if you don't want me to tell you the truth about them"

girllllllllllllllllllllllll

I want this as a welcome mat in my house

coronabeer getting owned like chad over here

third house annihilation, one by one

coronabeer thinks she should ask nona about whether she's pretty and ask yandere twin about emotional things, because that way she'd hear what she wants

this girl would have been a menace with social media

anyway, coronabeer and nona get to school and angel teacher is just coming in

angel teacher is looking worse every time the camera comes back to her

angel teacher is taken aback by coronabeer but doesn't let her meet nona's gang because she's carrying a gun

nona is very disappointed at this turn of events

coronabeer says she's camilla's partner and angel teacher is again surprised at this

nona thinks coronabeer is nearly pretty enough for camilla

nobody is perfect enough for camilla, though

also, over my dead body, coronabeer

go chase your wet mouse, thank you very much

could I beat her in a fight? no, but could make a very compelling power point presentation? absolutely

boobs, hair and a sword vs boobs, hair and a solid dissertation

nona thinks coronabeer should have said nona was dating her instead, because camilla doesn't need the street cred as much as she does

coronabeer says she knows what nona is, even if they refuse to see it, and that she envies nona more than anyone in the universe

I mean, yeah, childish wonder and relentless will to believe in the best of people sounds great right about now

nona is steven universe

CHAPTER 15 (seventh house skull again!!!!! very sus!!!!)

everyone's kind of fighting about having seen coronabeer and sriracha girlie was worried for nona's safety

nona asks her not to be sad if something happens to her

sriracha girle also has the angel teacher update, says she was dropped off by a car this time

sriracha girlie considers this an additional protection towards her, to which nona asks why is angel teacher so special

great question, imo

apparently, everyone but nona, sriracha girlie and kevin are leaving for lunch

main teacher is very confused about this until sriracha girlie informs her that there's gonna be a broadcast

main teacher asks angel teacher about it

(angel teacher's name is apparently aim)

(as in aim for the door if they come for you, angel teacher)

main teacher asks if they're gonna start arrests and they decide to move the conversation to another location, away from the kids

sriracha girlie knows more than they do, though, but ok

we need to protect kevin from this

we love kevin

nona is weird with food again, this time eats only ice cubes and a pencil

at this point, I'm realizing it isn't just me thinking she's particular with food, she indeed is particular with food and also very weird about it

she behaves exactly like our puppy who eats what she shouldn't and we have to be looking at her with 26 eyes because she hunts for snails and pieces of wood

nona asks sriracha girlie what the broadcast is about

as you might have guessed, it's about necromancers

nona tells sriracha girlie that she knows she's been at the park at night and sriracha girlie tells her not to go there, ever

she confirms that the "you-know-what" were killed

says that someone high up took them before they burned, with a shot to the head

sriracha girlie says she goes with two others, nona guesses it's honesty and born in the morning

nona says "Born in the Morning" and sriracha girlie corrects her and says "You mean Born in the Morning"

I don't see how that's different? neither does nona?

???????????

hope this is just a nona pronunciation thing I can't get in written form and not yet another ortus vs gideon thing, I can't take another one of those

it's written exactly the same, once without and once with emphasis

nona asks sriracha girlie if she's with BOE but sriracha girlie also hates them

she calls them traitors but also says they sell them guns

which...idk what to think of that

I mean, I understand the traitors bit, since they're currently in dialogue with necromancers

but selling guns to civilians is definitely A Move from BOE

sriracha girlie talks about how her family was killed and how she trains with a sword because she doesn't want to be caught off guard ever again like her brother was

while also saying that she wishes nona was her sister

god, this is gonna end terribly

sriracha girlie, I don't know about your future

this looks bad

so, nona tells sriracha girlie "her Secret"

????????????????????

sriracha girlie recommends her a clinic where angel teacher works

nona asks her not to tell anyone about it because she's the only one who knows

I assume this Secret isn't that she's potentially one of two people connected with the Ninth because sriracha girlie hasn't stabbed her yet

right in front of kevin's salad

we love kevin

I also don't think it's about her having memory loss, because pyrrha, camilla and the entire BOE know that, and nona says sriracha girlie is the only one who knows

unless she meant only one except for her people

but it wouldn't make sense for her to just say "Secret" and not elaborate, if that was the case??? in her recount of events????

also, why does she need a clinic for it????

nona can heal herself, she can't have a Secret related to anything physically damaging that she'd need a clinic for

the only thing she's got going on is memory loss and being potentially one of two people

neither of which are things nobody else knows about but sriracha girlie and nona

she's not having a baby or having a surprise degenerative disease

am I making too much of a mess out of something obvious?

DON'T TELL ME

I feel like this book is a lot more difficult to grasp than the other two, tbh, when it should be the opposite, because now I know things

it's the first time in which I know supposedly more than the protagonist, but it's the hardest one

it feels so much more complicated to me and makes me feel so stupid so often

in any case, nona falls asleep

none of this sounds like it's gonna be a great time for either of these two

and I don't think trusting someone who has a vendetta against your people is a good idea, nona

if push comes to shove, you're gonna go against each other, and what are we gonna do then???

JOHN 8:1

"but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives."

this is the part in which jesus does the famous "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her"

alleged harrow says her body is a mystery to her and that she'd collapse and fall asleep where she fell and wake wherever dr reverend emperor john put her

alleged!harrow which could be ice cube barbie, for all I know

WAIT

should I put ice cube barbie as another potential occupant of harrow's body as nona?

was there a third option nobody thought of because nobody knew about ice cube barbie but harrow and gideon?

could nona be ice cube barbie without memory?

could they have switched when book 2 ended inside harrow in the vacant tomb?

dr reverend emperor john god-forbid is, like I said, taking his monologue on the road

last time we met up with the monologue, lyctor team had decided to stream the necromancy stuff to put it out in the open

like anyone who has ever depended on social media to do a job knows, when you're trying to make something take off, it doesn't happen

it doesn't matter how good the content is, the algorithm is awful everywhere

so they got like 5 viewers

until one of the people the invited live turned out to be a flat earther and THEN it picked up

after that, people came in for him to heal them and he says he enjoyed playing jesus

he said the government said "this is a cult"

WHICH, YOU KNOW

SOUNDS VERY CORRECT

he says M brought in a nun, gonna assume M is mercygirl and the nun might be anastasia?? anastasia sounds like she was a nun, I mean, look at the ninth

"You've got two scientists and an engineer and a nun and a lawyer and a banker and a cop and an artist. That's not a defence force, that's a cop and six different kinds of nerd."

new meme format just dropped

sorry but I need to try it out

(should I post that separately, I wonder)

it really is a great meme format, dr john, I'll give you that

thank you for your minuscule service

"A and M were making black jokes about taking volunteers from the crowd for the skeleton army. One day we ran out of time before those jokes could become suggestions."

not to bring in star trek again but

so, dr reverend emperor john kills every animal in a big ass radius to build a bone wall around them

he, of course, has a lot of excuses for it, as he usually does

I have another data meme for that, but I'll save it for another time

"They treated us like we'd done some kind of huge crime."

"I wanted to talk about you"

again here with the "you" which clearly cannot be harrow

at least not how we know her

alleged!harrow not!harrow says "I still love you" and he says "that's a good one" and cries

I don't feel bad about him crying one little bit

AND THAT'S ALL!!! sorry that this one is so long, I wanted to make up for lost time T_T

[starry-hughes]

wrapping presents (jack hughes)

day 12 of star’s ficmas

jack hughes x reader

Jack was pretty insistent on the fact that he didn’t need an assistant. But everyone else thought he did. He was immature, constantly forgetting about meetings, if someone else wasn’t grocery shopping for him, he would be eating leftover meals from the nutrition team every day. He didn’t know what temperature to preheat the oven to for chicken.

Luke didn’t mind your presence. He knew you helped Jack more than anything, plus you kept the pantry stocked with his favorite fruit snacks. Jack appreciated you more than anything. You picked up his drycleaning, made sure he was where he needed to be, and sometimes, you would wait up for him after hard games to help him put icy hot on his shoulder.

You were his life saver.

Jack had wanted to thank you for all your hardwork. You had been his assistant since his rookie year. You stuck by him through injuries and his small hissy fits he would throw when the team was in a bad area of the season. He had thanked you previously, big extravaganza gifts, bonuses for the holiday and offering to buy you plane tickets to go wherever you desired. At the beginning, he didn’t want to admit that he needed someone like you, but now he didn’t know what to do without you. This year, though, he couldn’t think of something to get you, until he saw the present in a bookstore. He wasn’t typically found in bookstores but the gift caught his eye in the window.

You entered his apartment with bags of Christmas gifts and wrapping paper. Jack was sitting on the couch with Luke. “Got all the gifts you needed,” you smiled at the man who was technically your boss. Jack sighed happily, “Oh what would I do without you.”

You grinned, carrying the gifts to his room to wrap. “You’d probably perish.”

Luke waited until the door of Jack’s bedroom closed, signaling that you were in his bedroom, wrapping gifts. You knew Jack’s bedroom well, hell you’d slept in his bed before. It wasn’t on purpose of course, but when the team had all gotten sick and you two were quarantined together, you had really gotten to know him by talking for hours in his bedroom, which resulted in you falling asleep on his bed. “Did you get (Y/N) a gift?”

“Yeah dude of course. I always get her one.”

Jack jumped up from the couch, carrying over a box. It wasn’t wrapped, just a plain white box he was planning to stick a bow on and call it a day. It was a custom, leather bound journal with flowers pressed on the cover. “It made me think of her.”

“So when are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?” Jack hit his brother, a signal for Luke to shut up.

You neatly wrapped all the gifts before packing them in a suitcase for Jack to take to Michigan for the holiday break. You loved your job and did it with a smile on your face. Sure, Jack sometimes drove you crazy but you really liked him. Maybe even loved. You chalked up your feelings to the fact that you spent a majority of your time with him. A proximity crush. You’d never fall for him if you didn’t spend so much time with him.

“Picking up dinner boys, be back soon,” you said as you got your coat on. “Oh actually, just dinner for you and Jacky, I’m going over to Dawson’s,” Luke said. Jack’s eyebrows furrowed together, “I didn’t think you were going there.” The brothers shared a look. Luke was telling him with his eyes that it was time to make a move. “Well I am, you and (Y/N) enjoy dinner together,” Luke gritted.

“Jack, I’ll be back with dinner I guess,” you said confused before leaving. “What the hell dude?” Jack whipped his head toward Luke. “Just tell her you love her! Tonight! Stop beating around the bush!”

You got home with food and Jack wasn’t in the living room. “Jack?” you called out. You heard a muttered “damn it” from his bedroom and you walked to his room. He had tape stuck to his fingers and horrible cut wrapping paper and a plain white box on the floor of his bedroom. “What are you doing? I thought I wrapped all the gifts?”

“This one is special,” Jack huffed out. He was raising the white flag, surrendering to the wrapping paper. You left the paper bag of food on his dresser and joined him on the floor of his bedroom. “You should measure the wrapping paper and make sure it covers the whole box, like this, before cutting,” you explained softly. He pulled himself closer to you, he could hear your heartbeat picking up.

“Then, you should tape one side down to the box, then the other side, and finally the edges you tuck in to make triangles and then fold,” you narrated as he handed you pieces of tape. “Must be a special present if you wanted to wrap it yourself,” you looked at him. His lips were inches away.

“Yeah, something like that,” he mumbled. You could have sworn he was moving in to kiss you before you snapped out of your trance. “Do you want to add a bow to the box?” you cleared your throat and looked back at the neatly wrapped present. “Oh,” Jack was snapped back to reality, “I guess?”

You added the bow before handing it to Jack. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Jack’s eyes almost pop out of his head. “How do you know it’s for a girl?”

“Because Jack, I’ve only ever seen you put this much effort into presents or items if it’s for a girl you really like.”

Jack could have laughed, it was so ironic. You were right and you had no idea how right you were.

[aspergerasparagus]

Fudge you, Toxic yaoi be upon thee. Frankie and the Contestant but Frankie is just in it for the money and the kicks. Rabbitroyal??? I don't know the ship name im sorry

Also here if needed.

It had been just over a week since the Contestant had won their season. The show was still rolling in the money with late viewers still pouring in to witness the achievement over and over again. The show hadn’t seen revenue and viewership like this in years and with the announcement of a 58th season the excitement was sure to be even greater! Of course they’d have to get a few new replacements, resulting in a small delay in the airing of said season, but “Frankie” was sure they crowds would be patient. Eagerly awaiting the return of their first ever winner, his Lucky Contestant.

Frankie, as he had had to start referring to himself as, glanced over at the human seated next to him. Of course they were still dressed up in the Frankie costume provided, he wasn’t about to let them out of it lest the police be able to identify them via a hacked camera or accidental broadcast. They were the ticket to the show's renewal and continued profit, something his higher ups had made all too clear. Not that they’d had to force him at all to behave himself around them, to the contrary he was making sure his new cash cow was being well taken care of. Although saying that it seemed his Contestant was less than thrilled with the arrangement.

“You know I can’t just live off cereal right? Humans need other stuff too, especially considering how much crap is in this stuff…” The Contestant, who Frankie had so generously nicknamed “Lucky” (couldn’t have them using their real name, even with the voice filter), was once again grumbling as they shoveled another mouthful of the fruit flakes into their mouth, grimacing slightly. 

“And I have told you previously “Lucky”, Frankie’s Fruit Flakes are nutritious and contain a number of essential minerals, vitamins and a source of iron! And that it is considerably difficult to acquire a steady stream of other food products with… certain parties after us.” He heard Lucky grumble again as he finished off his bowl, the scowl he wore, while hidden behind his mask, was still all too evident. “But I do have some people who are currently working on the issue. You should have some “proper food”, as you so call it, by the end of the week. Hopefully that will keep our little winner happy until the next season is ready~” Tutting, Lucky pulled the mask back over their face and sank into their chair, but did mutter out a small thanks. 

Frankie just gave them one of his trademark grins (not that he could do anything else) and returned to work. He had set up a TV for Lucky in his office so he could keep them entertained, and close by. Of course he had the cameras set up throughout the facility if they ever decided to go and muck about in one of the parkour parks, but he was aware of the blind spots so keeping the Contestant as close to him seemed like the best option. Plus it had been a long time since he had had company that wasn’t just interested in sales figures and pleasing the investors. Lucky was… refreshing, special, different and Frankie found himself becoming more and more possessive of the human as the days progressed.

He was there when the human rose, when they ate, when they practiced in the parks, when they went to sleep… not that Lucky needed to be aware of that last part. It had been some long since he had someone he could just talk to. The other Frankie was just a beast with barely any thoughts and Henry was too terrified of him to speak with him other than work related topics. It would have been enough to bore anyone to tears or worse, at least Frankie had had his show to keep him busy. But now he had something else to occupy himself with.

The rabbit must have been staring as Lucky glanced over their shoulder to meet his gaze. The furrowed brow just visible behind the mask. 

“You’re staring at me again…” Their voice held steady but Frankie could pick up on the small twinge of concern hidden under it.

“Am I? Sorry about that, Lucky! I’m just lost in thought about the next season is all. We’ve got to make it even bigger and better than last if we’re to keep up this momentum!” He saw the human’s shoulder sag slightly as they relaxed.

“That’s what you always say, but… No, never mind.” They trailed off, obviously deciding that whatever they intended to confront Frankie with was probably best left unsaid. Interesting.

Unfurling himself from behind his desk, Frankie slinked his way over to Lucky, who maintained his ground, glowering up at the rabbit as he came to a stop in front of them. 

“”But.” It seemed you had something else you wanted to add there Lucky. Care to share it with me? After all, we are business partners now, if you have something on your mind, you know you can share it with me, after all I need my prize contestant happy and content.” While he was laying it on thick, the voice change hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lucky who tensed, ready to run if the need arose. This only caused the rabbit to let out a soft chuckle. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I’d never hurt my money maker. Not until next season anyway~”  

“Bastard.” Lucky barely had time to spit the words out before a gloved hand slammed into their chest, knocking the wind out of them and shoving them off the chair. Pinned, they swore again and tried to desperately wrench the hand off them, but quickly fell still as Frankie crouched down over them. The rabbit couldn’t stop the chuckle that slipped out. 

“My Lucky Contestant, perhaps you are right. Maybe there is more to all this, but could you blame me. Right now, you are the most important thing to this show and in turn me. You are my everything right now.” Frankie practically purred out the last part as Lucky shuddered under them, a fear response or something else. Frankie couldn’t care, this was truly a thrilling feeling and one he was getting more and more greedy for.

Leaning down further, so that he was mere inches from their mask, Frankie could feel the Contestants’ panicked breaths against his face as they struggled to keep their composure. 

“My “Lucky”. You really are… different. Like I said before, I like that, I like you. Maybe I’ll let you win the next season just so I can keep you around for longer. Wouldn’t that be fun, and even more profitable~” Unable to take much more, Lucky kicked his legs up, dislodging the rabbit just enough so they could roll out of the way and free of his grip. Locking eyes once more, Frankie could see the look of fear and disgust in their eyes before they bolted from the room. Of course he could chase them, easily catch them and drag them back kicking and screaming. But they’d both had their fun for today so best to let his little contestant recover. Dusting himself off Frankie, glanced towards the screens, watching as Lucky raced through the halls, turning to check behind him now and then until he bolted into the temporary room Frankie had set up from them, slamming the door closed behind them.

“Until tomorrow Lucky. Sleep well my golden goose and I hope we can play again~”

[pickyourpoisonandevolve]

Boyfriends to Have Boyfriends Headcanons, pt 3

I loooooovvvvveeeeee himmmmmmm, your honor. I’ll do my best to have the brain demon make it around to everyone and then maybe all together LETS NOT GET TOO AMBITIOUS

Part 1, Part 2

—

John had the home court advantage here, as he was the one YOU had a crush on first. As previously stated, John wanted to give you space initially. Him being a captain full tilt was described as intense to some. And as much as he convinced himself he didn’t care about all that “misogyny” business (he treats all his people the same, why should you get special treatment), he truly didn’t want to scare you. He’s heard the horror stories of women in the military, and he sure as shit wasn’t going to be a source of any of your discomfort. Let Ghost and his scary demeanor take the heat for that one.

But god did he want to get his hands on you. You made his boys laugh, you were a crack shot in the field, good under pressure. You wore those low cut tops whenever they went to the pub, lingering to give him a hug when the others were leaving. You had that little habit of catching him in his office late at night, asking if he needed anything else. Lastly, your pretty little face. The little smirk you give him when he asks you to blow something up or cause trouble. That little panic that shoots through it when he talks just a little too close and towers over you. That’s the face he sees when he’s jerking his dick furiously when you leave his office. The bags under his eyes and grown out beard is what he sees in the mirror afterwards, realizing he’s going to have to take action.

—-

A bribe to Gaz here, a perusal through your email there, he bought a ticket to a show nearby when you all were on leave. Didn’t peg you to go to punk shows, but here we were. Recon was the most important part of any mission after all, and you were no different. He almost felt nervous, “bumping” into you. He would have been more enamored with the bloodcurdling fear running through your veins if he weren’t looking at how beautiful you were. Your hair was big and curly and natural, much different than what you had to maintain on base. You smelled like heaven, god you were glowing. Couldn’t be fucked to pretend what you were saying, just interrupted with “let me buy you a drink.” Those soft plush lips split into a smile.

He succeeded in not breaking most of his beer bottles in his fist, fighting tooth and nail to not let the ball of tension in his stomach overtake him. It took you a couple songs to relax, but a couple drinks later and you were slapping him in the chest after a joke. Letting him be your enforcer in the crowd, letting you lean into him. Feeling his hand land on your lower back, creeping under the little mesh jacket and crop top you were wearing.

What he wouldn’t have was your self doubt getting the better of you come time to leave. Both buzzed, you were looking at your feet, having the audacity to apologize to him in the parking lot, about how you “weren’t professional” and that you’d “understand if you needed to be reassigned.” He felt the relief wash over him as he let himself off of his own leash, pushing you against the side of his truck. Crowding around you, he leaned his elbow next to your head and took your jaw into his free hand. His eyes roamed your face as he felt your pulse skip in his hands, a stray tear running down. “Let it out, sweetheart. Need you to hear what I have to say.” Your hands held onto his chest and jacket as you hiccuped and cried quietly, unable to look away.

He finally let you break gaze once you caught your breath, keeping a gentle but firm grasp around your jaw, leaning in close to your ear so you’d feel his breath on your neck. “Now, if you think I’d let anyone get their hands on you after this, you’re sorely mistaken love. I’d take their hands before they’d finish the fucking paperwork. You think you’ve been subtle, here. But you’ve been mine for a while. I know Gaz likes the more direct approach, but I knew my good girl knew where home was. She just needed to get there.” He takes a moment to adjust his stance, grabbing you just a little tighter.

“Now here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna take you back to mine. I’m gonna let you get comfortable, then I’m gonna eat your pretty little cunt until you can’t remember what anxiety feels like.” He brings his lips to your temple and gives you a gentle kiss. “And then after, I’ll let you earn the rest. Can’t reward you for winding me up this long now can I? Sound good princess?” He finishes in a whisper.

Slackjawed and wide-eyed, your pulse quickened, your fingers fussed, and your head nodded.

“Good girl.”

[noosayog]

[parking ticket] ft. sawamura daichi 

wc: 1k

contents/warnings: fem! reader, reader is referred to as ma’am, timeskip characters. for the sake of story, let’s pretend the Miyagi prefecture parking rules go by the same ones in the States but Daichi is not an American cop because acab till I die!! 

A flash of light catches your attention when you look up from your phone from inside your car. By meter for the spot you’re currently parked in, is a cop who is tapping away at his little device, looking between his device, your car, and the meter that is currently flashing red. 

“Wait!” you say frantically, exiting your car. 

The cop looks up. When you meet his eyes previously hidden by his cap, they linger a bit on you before he levels you with an unimpressed look. 

“I just got here! I was planning on paying.” 

“Ma’am, I saw you pull into this spot before I circled around the block. And now, it’s still not paid.” 

You cringe. When you had pulled into the spot, 10 minutes early for your scheduled manicure appointment, you figured you could just kill time in the car. You were scrolling through your instagram feed, looking for nail inspo when you noticed the cop. 

“I was in an important call!” you fib. 

The cop puts his device down, and props his hands on his hips. You inappropriately take note of his broad shoulders and square jawline. His unimpressed gaze remains as he tightens his jaw. 

“You could have just paid the meter then went on with your call.” 

“It really was important! So important that I needed to get on the call the second I parked.” 

He picks up his device and continues tapping, eyes now darting down to your license plate. 

“Please, please! I swear, I plan on paying! It was just a couple of minutes,” you beg. 

Tap, tap. The device spits out a little piece of paper and he rips it from the jagged teeth of the mini printer. 

“Fine!” you say, storming over to where he’s standing. You quickly insert some coins into the meter, jabbing them in with your thumb for good measure. “I was on a call with the hospital because I just found out my grandma has stage four metastatic breast cancer, so if that warrants a ticket, then leave it on my dash, asshole!” 

With that, you walk swiftly away, both frustrated and impressed with your own quick thinking. 

You’re pleased to find that after your manicure, there is no ticket on your dash. 

You squash down the slight guilt you feel when you instead see a little note with a simple “sorry about your Grandmother” scribbled on. 

– 

It’s a couple weeks later when you revisit the nail salon for some regular upkeep. You pull into a spot and quickly exit your vehicle to feed the meter. You didn’t want to take your chances in this same area, knowing there’s potential for a certain cop to be patrolling. You’re waiting at an intersection when a tap on your shoulder gets your attention. 

Turning around, you find yourself not surprised to come face to face with the same handsome cop as the other day. 

“Hey, nice to see you again,” he says. 

“Oh, hi. Yes,” you nod pleasantly. 

He takes off his police cap and tucks it neatly between his arms and torso. Even with his face half covered, you knew he would be nice to look at, but with his cap off, you get a full view of his gentle brown eyes and cropped black hair. 

“How’s your grandma? I’m sorry I was being such a hardass that day.” He rubs sheepishly at the back of his neck with his free hand. 

“Oh,” you smile a bit. “She’s fine. I lied so you wouldn’t give me a ticket,” you say breezily. 

The light at the intersection turns green. 

“See ya around!” you wave and start walking. 

You get a couple of feet before the officer falls into step with you. 

“Hold on a sec. Are you saying your grandmother doesn’t actually have cancer?”

“Nope.” 

“First of all, you shouldn’t go around lying about stuff like that, what if you speak it into existence?” 

You shrug, “both my grandmothers are already dead, so…” 

“Oh…” he says awkwardly. “Sorry to hear that.” 

You laugh again at his shifty eyes. 

“What’s the second thing?” you ask. 

“Hm?”

The two of you continue your leisurely stroll, side-by-side. You’ve already passed your salon, but you figure another lap wouldn’t hurt. 

“You said ‘first of all.’ What’s second?” 

“Ah,” he nods, sticking his hands in his pocket, relaxing his gait. “Second of all, why would you tell me you lied? I still have your license plate.” 

“Well,” you pretend to ponder, a mischievous smile growing. “Are you going to give me a ticket, officer?” 

He smiles too. “Depends. You might have to pay me back in some other ways.” 

“That sounds oddly inappropriate given your position in law enforcement,” you joke. 

“How about a date?” 

You startle a bit, not expecting a straight shot from someone who seems very, well, reserved. 

“You don’t even know my name,” you qualify. 

“I do. I looked up your registration.” 

You stop to face him, mentally noting the number on his badge. There, if he was creepy or weird, you could report him or something. 

“I'm free tomorrow night?” 

“Perfect, pick you up at 7?”

“You don’t even-” 

“I know where you live. Registration, remember?” 

“This feels like a misuse of government resources.” 

He leans in a bit, close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your cheeks. “May I?” he whispers.

Dazzled, you nod. 

He gives you the lightest kiss on your cheek, before taking one large, respectable step away. “My name is Sawamura Daichi. I promise I won’t do anything weird with your information unless you deserve another parking ticket in the future.” 

“Hey!” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he says, fixing his cap back on his head and giving you a cute little salute before walking back the direction he came from.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for purposely violating boundaries that weren't communicated in order to test a friend?

My friend (32F) has this habit of bottling things up until she can't take it anymore, then blows up. It's a complete disaster. Anyway, I (27F) didn't know that until it happened. We had been friends for half a year, and she blew up at me for, idk 🤷‍♀️ to this day, I have no idea what she was mad about because she spoke very vaguely about what bothered her because she didn't even remember it, from the bits I comprehended, I assumed she was upset about my sense of humor, and wrote a whole AITA about that because she didn't previously mind my jokes at all and engaged with them. The final verdict was ESH, but does it matter if it turned out she's mad about something else?

Anyway, we made up but we set boundaries between us. One of her boundaries was not to joke like that in front of coworkers, but she said it was okay to do it in private. And I made her promise that she stops bottling things up and tell me immediately when somethings bothers her, because in many cases, turned out most of the things that upset her were misunderstandings. And in case it's not a misunderstanding, I need her to let me know so I can stop these behaviors.

Anyway, I knew some certain jokes bothered her, so I didn't make them again even if it was just the two of us, despite her supposedly being okay with it. Instead, I changed my sense of humor completely. I made sure not to use insults as a joke. Thing like, "you're going to drink milk, aren't you?" "If you bring milk to my counter I won't bill it" because she's lactose intolerant and keeps drinking milk and regretting it later. And things like "wear your seatbelt because if I get a ticket for it you're the one who's gonna pay it" (we carpool in my car)

However, since it was a misunderstanding and that the jokes themselves aren't exactly what upset her, I ended up making her mad again simply by interacting with her normally. She broke her promise by not communicating with me, however, this time I was very attentive of her reactions and body language that I started seeing patterns. I knew exactly how she laughs things off and starts joking around when she's in fact, angry. and I made a mental note of the things that made her react that way. They were things like, telling her I care about her, reminding her of things she forgot (without joking about how forgetful she is), asking her questions to understand her more as a person and attempt small talk, mundane things like that that I assume she took the wrong way. This continued on for 2 months.

Personally if she wanted me to stop, I will, even if I find nothing wrong with it, but I continued on purpose because I wanted her to communicate like she promised she would.I could theoretically be the one to communicate, but I refrained this time since I was already questioning if this friendship was worth it. It's tiring being the only one to communicate all the time, so I tested her by violating those "boundaries" to see if she was going to say something. Her last straw was when I told her I care about her health and she need to rest instead of waiting for me to finish my work by standing behind me, which bothered her, even though she complains about back pain after a long shift. To make things clear, she wasn't even standing behind me to talk with me or anything, she just did it for no reason when she was supposed to wait for me by the exit which has seats she could rest on. Apparently she insisted she was just waiting for me, which had me confused since she never did that before, and I asked her "why?" and she blew up at me for making her "sit alone" when she wanted to "talk with the girls" even though she never said that. She said she was just waiting for me? She could've explained and I would understand instead of lying and blaming me for not understanding what she wanted to do.

She ended up blowing up at me again because she "told me to stop these sort of things" even though she literally didn't and I was waiting for her to explain why she doesn't accept these behaviors, she was angry to the point of not wearing her seat belt 10 minutes prior getting home and opening the door before the car stopped to get out. Lucky for us it was nearly 2 AM and the street was empty, otherwise she would've caused a serious accident. The area she lives in is very dangerous to drive in and she admits that.

She never spoke to me again and I thought good riddance.

(Additional information: this friend is too attached to me, despite what this post might indicate. She's more interested in making this friendship work than I am, but isn't taking the initiative to communicate and expects me to magically read her mind. She avoid communication like the plague and blames me when things aren't working between us. That's why I made her promise to communicate with me in the first place, she could have refused but she didn't because i would end the friendship otherwise.)

TDLR: My friend promised to let me know if certain behaviors bothered her, but she didn't keep her promise. I picked up on what behaviors bother her becauseI learned how she pretends something doesn't bother her. But because I wanted her communicate, I didn't stop in order to test her but instead she ended up endagering our lives in her anger. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[vase-of-lilies]

Efforts to Make Amends

❀ Tfatws!Bucky x Mom!reader (f)

❀ Non-con and rape (DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT), past abuse, past parental abuse, mentions of captivity, fluff, childbirth, some suicidal ideation (but no actions), taking of virginity, some after sex bleeding, talking badly about a baby, pregnancy, dad bucky 🥺 (if there is anything else, PLEASE let me know!)

❀ Word Count: 6.3k

❀ A/N: This came to mind when I was just thinking about Buck:) I don’t know if this is already a concept, but if it is here is my take on it! :D

The cry of the newborn baby sent shivers down your spine. Not a scared shiver, or a nervous shiver. Just a shiver. You are her mother now, and you can not let this baby down. You won’t let this baby down. As the nurse gently handed the bundle of joy over to you in a pink blanket, you laid eyes on the most beautiful little thing in the world. With her eyes barely open to see, her blue eyes stared back into your own. 

Tears filled your eyes as you held her to your chest, her babbles slowly dying down to soft breaths. You smiled down at the tiny human in your arms, clutching onto your finger softly. You heard the heart monitor go off, and you immediately held your daughter tighter in your arms. Not wanting to let her go, not for one second. Your OB/GYN entered the room, smiling brightly with the paperwork of your brand new baby. 

“All is well with your little girl. I’ll let you decide on a name and we can fill out this boring stuff.” She chuckles and sits next to you on the bed. 

“Oh, I really like this one.” She hums softly at the baby names in question. She points to the fourth one on the list that you made on a piece of paper. “Clarisse” is the name she chose. It was your mother's name. Bright, shining, gentle, and brave. She was your advocate through the years you were held captive by your own father. 

Of course the circumstances of how this child came into this world is not how you imagined it, you are still eternally grateful to have her in your life. 

It was at this moment you knew all too well what you had to do. You had to start brand new; New name, address, hair color. Everything you can to stay away from the life you were forced into as a child. Going by the name Carla, you set off out of the police station with your new ID, and a new life ahead of you. You couldn’t hold back the smile that had formed on your face by the time you made it to the bus stop. 

Paying the bus driver, you sat down on the bench by the window. Carefully holding your newborn baby to your chest, you stare out the window at the passing cars, buildings, and people. All making their way home from work or even to work. Even the people who call themselves “superheroes” have a home to go to, don’t they? No matter where you go, you know you have to provide what's best for this baby. The police were some help, getting you your ID, colored contacts as well as a wig and a new passport. But it was a long, aggravating process. With every woman looking at your baby with prying eyes, getting ready to let their lips loose in the daily office gossip session. 

Finally, it was time to leave. It was time to leave the life you were previously living, and set off on a new adventure with a new companion.

~~~~~~~

Arriving at the airport, you follow the directions to buy a ticket to Spain. With what little Spanish you knew was not the problem at this point. It was getting away from a crime populated city such as New York. The culture, the people, and the ocean around the country felt like the safest option. 

“ID, ma’am.” You heard the woman at the desk say. Pulling out your ID, you make sure it is your new one. This has a special hidden key trustworthy people can scan that tells them you are a witness in protection. They are very caring with you, and question nothing if you hesitate with your new name. “Carla Davenport. Date of birth November eighteenth.” Fuck! What's the year?? “Year?” The woman asks. “U-uhm, 2001...” You almost say it as a question, but the woman smiles and hands you back your ID. 

“Enjoy Spain!” She says from the desk, and onto security you go.

~~~~~~~

The plane ride was long, and agonizing with how anxious you were. But Clarisse easily soothed your nerves. The looks people gave you were noticeable, and the last few people to board on the plane seemed reluctant to sit next to you. A newborn on a plane is someone's worst nightmare. But Clarisse was a sleepy girl, and slept a majority of the flight. The moments she did start to cry, you knew she either had to be changed, or was hungry. Once you went to the bathroom, you sat on the toilet and began to breastfeed your little girl.

The mirror that was across from you, a woman you barely recognized stared back. False black-dyed locks fell around an exhausted, hurt, and abused mother. There wasn’t much that stared back. You peeled your eyes away from the mirror, and pinned them back on your little girl. Clarisse was enjoying her milk, and was soon going to fall into a milk coma. You just knew it. 

Sighing as you sit back down, you look back out the window. The night sky was absolutely beautiful at this time, and you loved what it looked like. Even though Clarisse was asleep, you still pointed out the lights along the coast that shaped the continent of Africa, and soon to the lights that covered Madrid. Your new home town. 

As the plane landed, you stopped at the gift shop to get a Spanish-to-English dictionary to start learning. Also stopping at a small convenience store in the airport, you exchanged all of your US dollars to Euros and bought some diapers and a diaper bag as well. It was the small things that the program didn’t provide that seemed to be the biggest issues for you. But you were grateful for the small apartment they found, and even more grateful that they provided rent for the first year of living there. 

Getting a job will be difficult, but you knew that you would figure it out somehow. With how populated the world is, there is bound to be an English speaking job for you out there. But that was the least of your worries right now. What you needed the most was food, sleep, and a warm blanket for you and Clarisse. All that you needed for a couple nights was already at the apartment, and you were eternally grateful. 

Finally getting to the small one bedroom apartment, you immediately lock the door behind you, and set off to the small bedroom. There is a mattress on the floor as well as a few blankets and a pillow, but other than that nothing much else. It was simple, and you liked it. Just for you and your little girl. You smiled as you saw the view out the window. The beautiful city lights shone through the fire escape balcony, giving a soft glow in the bedroom. It felt safe. 

Getting out a diaper and some wipes, you begin to change Clarisse. “I know sweet girl, it’s been a long day.” You whisper, giving soft kisses to her face as she babbles into the open air. “Are you gonna sleep well tonight? Hm? Or are you gonna keep me up?” You chuckle at the small girl in front of you, and you softly tickle her sides. Her incoherent giggles are music to your ears, and it is nothing like you have ever heard before. “You are so beautiful my little flower.” You smile, nuzzling your nose against hers softly.

After getting Clarisse all settled, you decided to move the mattress just under the window to get the perfect view of the night sky. You lay your head on the pillow, a feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time. Your little girl snuggled right up next to you, and stared up at the sky as well. You knew she would grow up to be the best little girl there is, and there is no doubt about that.

~~~~~~~

Sweat covered your forehead as you ran through the cold Russian woods. Barely escaping the Hydra base with your ankles not broken. You kept running until you knew you were far enough away to take a breath. But oh... were you wrong. The Winter Soldier was right behind you, every step of the way. It almost felt like he was in the trees, stalking your every move just like your father had conditioned him to. 

The man was silent as he looked for you, but the silence screamed death. You were terrified, and rightfully so. Even trying to hold your breath so no one could see it, including you, was one of the only options to stay hidden. Besides trying to hide within the trees, and snow on the ground. It was hopeless. You could already hear the crunching of the snow underneath the heavy combat boots of the Winter Soldier coming your way. 

This was it, you were going to die. You never knew why your father kept you in the base, but he would not be disappointed to hear that you were gone for good. Maybe it was for the best. No one would have to worry about keeping you silent, or contained. With the secrets you know, you could uncover the world's most dangerous criminals, documents, and codes to plenty of nuclear energy. But you swore to your mother you would never tell a soul. She loved her husband and her daughter equally, but her caring nature made her keep the world she lived in safe. 

You were in your thoughts for too long. ‘Fuck-’ you suck in a breath, not moving an inch as you feel the cold blade barely cut into your neck. “Please...” you couldn’t believe you were begging for mercy, but you were strong. You had to stay alive; for your mother. “Cooperate and I won’t kill you...” the soldier said in a dark voice. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to kill you. 

Instead of questioning him, you gave a small nod. “Good girl.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. Soon the cold spread from your arms all the way down to your most intimate parts. He had sliced away at your thin hospital-like gown, and stripped you bare. You couldn’t do anything with a knife to your neck so you stayed still. “Please d-don’t, I-I’ll go back wi-with you, just p-please!” You quietly beg him, but he has already stripped himself of his own tactical pants. 

He ignored your pleas, commanding you “Be a good girl and lay on your back...” A whimper left your throat and you froze. “N-no.” You stated, calmly. Instant regret filled your veins as he swiped his foot underneath yours and you fell to the ground. Your head hit a root sticking out from the ground and your vision was rendered blurry. “P-please...” Your attempt of a small plea exited your mouth, but you gave up. 

His veiny, god-like sculpted cock filled your cunt to the brim. You tried to scream, but nothing would come out. He started to thrust, and thrust, and thrust. It felt like it never ended. His blue eyes stared into your dull y/e/c eyes with no emotion or mercy. He was told to do this to you, and it traumatized you. With no luck, you tried to push him away but he was quick to pin your hands above your head with his strong arms. One metal, one flesh. 

“It's ok... just take it...” Was he trying to comfort you? 

“I- I can’t...” 

“You will.” That was the very last thing before you were left in darkness, unconscious and barely alive. 

~~~~~~~

Clarisse lets out a small cry, waking you up instantly. “Hey sweet pea, shh shh mommas got you.” You whisper to her, gently rocking her in your arms. You didn’t know what time it was, but you knew for sure you only slept a wink. You stayed up the rest of the night, helping her to sleep, feeding her every now and then, and getting only some sleep yourself. You were more than happy to stay awake for her, and that was a sacrifice you were willing to take. 

Once the sun started to come up, you yawned and decided to see what snacks you had brought from the airport. Some ChexMix and an apple was enough until you gathered enough courage to go grocery shopping. It had to be about 9:00 once Clarisse started to wake up. Swaying her as she drank from your breast, you hummed her a soft song and smiled from above her. As she drank, you began to grab what money you had, Charisse's baby bag and a face mask just in case someone did end up recognizing you. It would be lethal to have anyone from Hydra even know you exist. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky POV:

Of course I regret everything. I have to live with what I have done every day of my life, and deep down I know that I can’t blame myself for my actions. It’s not something to get used to. Some would say that I have gotten used to hearing the last breath come from someone's gurgling throat. Some would say that “he likes to watch them die.” But in truth, nothing is worse than seeing someone's life drain from their eyes just like a painting being washed away; the paint clinging to life to stay on the canvas but the water just too damn strong. 

A victim I remember very clearly, said whilst looking through the barrel of my gun “Fools make romance of death, for it is brutal and cruel. That I say be at peace with my passing is not such a thing. But once it is done, I will be safe and sound once more. I will live as long as I can, be with you as many days as we are sent, then keep me in your memories. I will see you again. That is a promise.” He was right, I would see him again. Not in heaven, or hell where I belong. But in my nightmares every single night. Therapy can only do so much for a broken, lost and helpless soldier. Let alone a 106 year old one. 

However, I was slowly making amends with the people who were fortunately left alive. Yori Nakasima, the sweet old man I have lunch with every Tuesday is just an example. He was not a victim, but his son was. He was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in turn he fell straight to the line of fire. My line of fire. No matter how much I try, I can never expel the begging that came from his mouth. He was innocent and had absolutely nothing to do with that mission. Simply… a loose knot that had to be tied tight. Yori and I went our own ways, and it makes me happy to see him still go to the same restaurant every Tuesday. He may not remember our conversation, but rest assured he can sleep knowing what happened to his son. 

One more name.

One more name and I can throw this damned book away.

Y/n Y/L/n. 

Y/n has been on this list for four to eight months now. Her name staring back at me with anger and regret. God why did her own father make me do this? Thoughts were racing through my head as I searched for Y/n, but nothing came up besides death certificates. She can’t be dead. She has to be alive, I know that she got out of there alive… Going deep into police, military and FBI/CIA records, along with the witness protection program as a sergeant, I was able to find someone by the name of Carla Davenport. I obviously knew this was wrong, and I was mostly doing this for myself. But there was one part of me that wanted to tell her that she is safe, and that she could finally rest with her guard down. 

Doing further research, I finally came across an address. I lucked out by being in Madrid at the time with Zemo and Sam while I did my research. All I had left was to confront her and tell her my intentions. Knowing Y/n, she would be feisty, careful but most likely fearless. I know her, and she would fight with every last cell of energy in her body to win. I slightly jump as I hear my phone buzz and I answer Sam.

“Hey Sam.” I said, jotting down Y/n’s new address. I heard a sigh on the other line, and I knew I was in for something. 

“I got a call from a CIA agent who found a breach in the witness protection program. Was that you?” Sam replies. 

“Uh, why would you think it would be me? I have no reason to be on that site in the first place.” Seriously? What kind of answer was that?? “Dr. Raynor told me you needed to find some people… Buck come on man, we could have done this together.” 

“Whatever happened to patient privacy? I found what I needed, so can I log out and be on my way?”

“Listen, I know you’re hurting. Especially over Y/n. I'll help you find her, but can we please do it the legal way?” He sounded convincing enough that he actually wanted to help, but I knew that it was just a ploy. Or, maybe that was my irrational thoughts talking for me.

“I’ve gotta do this on my own. She is the last one before I can finally go out and live how I want to. She will determine if I deserve to be free.” There was silence for a short period of time, and then another soft sigh from the man on the other line. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get one more phone call telling me you did something illegal, you’re kicked off my team for charades, and you are going to talk with Dr. Raynor. Do you understand?” 

I chuckled at his threat, and I nodded to myself. “Yeah, Sam. I understand. I wouldn’t want to bother Captain America with calls from random CIA agents about the site of witnesses in protection. This is honestly something Raynor should have let me do. She was the one who told me to “use your resources'' where there was nothing else to use. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow Buck. Have a good night.” 

Hanging up the phone, I sigh and I finish writing down the information from the website. Now that I knew where she lived, it would then be the hard part of everything. Telling her what I did, and apologizing for it. 

~~~~~~~

Your POV:

It had now been three full weeks of living in Madrid and you were living your best life! You had a desk job dealing with English complaints for a website that was fully in Spanish, and your little girl could be with you all day long. Being able to earn a stable living was nice in such a large and new country. Also with your new way of life, you were not living off of ramen and buttered toast. You were able to make full meals with fresh ingredients from the finest vendors just down the street from your apartment. Steamed vegetables, freshly cooked meat that only needed a little bit of heating in the oven and your own seasonings and finally the glorious, melt-in-your-mouth Churros con Chocolate was what you were blessed with for dessert. It was heaven, and you were living in it with such happiness. 

Clarisse is now one month old, and has been a little more aware of what she can do with her body. Even at this young age, she knows who you are and who you are to her. Soon she’ll be running around on two healthy legs with energy skyrocketing every second. Watching her grow up is the highlight of your life, and you never wanted it to end. Her eyes would scan each room you went through, each aisle you walked down, and even grabbed up at you from your arms as you made your way down to the baby section. Clothes, shoes, food. Clothes, shoes, food. All you needed was those three things, and you would be on your way. 

It was a relief that you had not encountered a challenge by anyone. Not when little Clarisse cried for a little bit, and not even when the panic set in at the sound of the bustling cars outside the store. It was a success, and you could not wait to get home. Checking out with ease, you held Clarisse close to you as you took your groceries in the small basket on the back of your bike, and strapped the little girl into her car seat carrier on the front of your bike. “All safe and sound, my sweet girl,” You whisper, gently putting her blanket over her. On the way back to your apartment, you followed the same route to and from. Two lefts, a right, up the hill and to the left. It was almost a song you replayed over and over in your head, just to help you get home. Just like your mother taught you;

Down the hall and to the left, a little bit longer, up the stairs and in my arms you go! This song was to navigate the hallways of the large house your father had bought your family before he decided to keep you as his own lab rat. 

Once you made it into the safe walls of your home, the lock was the first thing in place after putting your bike inside. Clarrise still strapped in her seat, you rolled the bike to the far wall of your kitchen. The babbling baby in her carrier made you smile as she reached out to you, her feet kicking in excitement as she made eye contact. 

Holding your little girl felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. Not only was this life forced upon you, but this baby took everything from you. Your passion for dancing and painting, your want to go to college, desire to learn and grow. This creature that is in need of so much care and attention took all of that from you. But so did he. He hurt you the most. 

Every day memories flow through your brain like a movie projecting onto a loosely hanging sheet. Warped, but clear for a person to know what happened. It was your duty to Clarrise that she did not know your past, and that she was brought into this life in a way that is a crime. And she never had to know. Having her not grow up with a father was a sacrifice you were willing to take to keep her protected from the pain you went through.

Your alarm on your phone went off, and you sat down on the couch to feed Clarrise. As you unclipped your padded bra, you froze at the sound of a knock came from the front door. Luckily Clarrise didn’t seem too hungry at the moment, so you slowly approached the door. You looked through the peep hole and saw a man. He had short brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looked… gentle. 

As you held your child close to your chest you slowly opened the door.

“Can I help you?” 

He looked down at you, a hight difference clearly present. He smiled at the small child in your arms and responded to your question. “Im looking for Carla. Does she live here?” 

You nod and say “I am her, is there something I can do for you?” You ask again, wanting a reason for the sudden visit from this man. He looked back to your face and you made eye contact with him, it was his eyes that looked so familiar. 

“Right, I just moved in down the hall way and wanted to introduce myself. Im James Barnes, and I’m from 107, that way.” He pointed down the hall way and you followed his finger. You nodded with a smile. “Well, its nice to meet you James. Would you like to come in? I was just about to feed this little one, but if you don’t feel comfortable with breast feeding, you don’t have to come in.”

You invite him in, not thinking of the dangers or intents of this man. He kindly accepts and enters your small apartment. Offering him a seat on the couch, you sit down opposite from him in the rocking chair. Putting a cover over Clarrise, you begin to feed her, the milk coming from your breasts entering her mouth as she begins to feed. 

“What brings you to Spain? I don’t know a lot of English speakers here besides the land lord.” You say, wanting to start conversation. He nods and shrugs, smiling softly. 

“I just needed a change of scenery, thats all.” He keeps his answer simple, not knowing how to bring himself to tell you what he did. 

“Have I seen you around? You seem very familiar, maybe in the market?” You ask, knowing you have seen him somewhere. 

This was his chance, this is the time to tell her. 

“No, I don’t think it was in the market,” He says in a sad tone. “It was a while back, I- um, I worked with Hydra. For your father. A-and I was ordered to do something very harmful to you, and I believe it was the result of- of her…” He slowly explains as he takes off his glove, revealing his metal hand. 

Your heart drops, the puzzle piece finally fitting in the right place in your mind. Tears pool in your eyes as you look from his eyes to his hand. The metal one. The memories come flooding back to your head, the nightmares, the feelings, and the eyes. His eyes, those got forbidden eyes. As cold as ice, yet as blue as the ocean of where you pictured yourself at the time of his assault. 

"I am only here to apologize. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am no longer the winte-”

“Why,” you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” Your voice cracks, many emotions coming through your gritted teeth. 

His eyes softened at your broken voice, and he sighs softly looking down at his hand. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“What did my father do? What did he do to you?” You ask, pity also filling your voice as you too know what horrors other prisoners went through. You felt bad, even for him. You tear your eyes away from him, moving them to your baby, his baby. 

“He did horrible things, but nothing compares to what he did to you. What he made me do to you. I- Im so sorry Y/n…” He takes the risk of saying your name, not expecting anything from it. 

“What are you doing here, James? What do you expect me to do?” I ask, trying to understand why he is here. “Did you come to finish the job?” You ask the question that dreaded your mind the moment he told you who he was. 

“No, not at all. I actually came here to offer protection. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me or the life you had to endure when under the horrors of Hydra.”

You considered. You actually considered letting him stay and try to protect you. “What or who am I in danger of?” You counter his offer, trying to prove something but unsure of what. You sigh and shake your head. “Forget about it. Im in the witness protection program, so protection shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Carla. How do you think I found you?” He asks, exposing what he did to find you. 

Your brows furrowed and you glared at him. “I see.”

You didn’t engage anymore, you were numb and didn’t know how to feel about the situation. You felt violated all over again, by the same man. “Leave. Please just go.” You whisper, tears falling freely down your cheeks. Once Clarrise was done eating, you clipped your breast back into your bra and stood up. You didn’t notice James put a card on your coffee table as he made his way to your door. 

“I understand your fears. I hope you have found safety in Spain, Carla.” He said emotionlessly, actually understanding your fears. As he went back to his apartment which he did actually buy, he sighed and shut the door. 

As he dialed the only phone number he actually knew, he slid down the door and sat against it as the line rung. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the door. 

“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson, Trauma counselor at the department of veterans affairs. Please leave a message and I will call you back when I’m free. Thanks!”

“Sam, It’s done. She- She’s crossed off the list.” 

~~~~~~~

Hours had passed by the time you could even speak. “How could he have found us?” You ask as you bounce Clarrise in your arms. The sleeping little girl in your arms was clueless to your question, hopefully dreaming of running free and not in hiding anymore. “My god, maybe it would be good to have protection…” 

You were talking to Clarrise as if she understood, but you knew she didn’t. You give her head a small kiss, looking in the direction of the coffee table in the middle of your small living room. An index card sat on the corner, scribbled on it was a phone number and a sloppy “107” on the bottom. You knew who this was from. 

You sighed and sat on the couch, cuddling your baby close to your chest, clutching her as if she would disappear. Staring at the piece of paper in your hands you contemplate calling him, contemplating on apologizing. Apologizing on your fathers behalf. 

Before you could stop yourself, you reached for your phone and dialed the number. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky jumped at the ring of his cell phone. He instantly recognized the number from the witness protection program website. 

“Hello?”

You took a few seconds before talking. “I know you know who this is. I’m making dinner a-and was wondering if you would like to join me?”

Bucky was taken a back by the sudden invitation, “Oh, sure I would love to. What time should I be there?” 

Responding rather quickly, you said, “Now?”

Before he could say anything, you had hung up and began making dinner. Boiling water for the noodles, opening up some seasonings you had just bought and putting the bread in the oven, you were ready for James. 

He knocked on your door and you put Clarrise in her bassinet in the living room, keeping an eye on her as you cooked. As you opened the door, you smiled softly at James. Instead of fearing him, you wrap your arms around him. He freezes, not yet used to such a gentle gesture from someone. 

As you sigh into him, he returns the hug and softly wraps his arms around you too. “Im so sorry James. Im sorry for everything my father did to you…” You know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but you can’t help but feel obligated knowing what James went through. 

“No, you have nothing to apologize for. It was and never will be your fault. Do you understand me?” James said, giving you a soft squeeze. 

You nod silently in response, and you gently pull away; tears falling from your eyes. Out of instinct, he cups your cheek and tenderly wipes the tears from your cheeks.

You lean into his benevolent touch and look up at him, a sense of security falling over yourself. Even though you knew him as the winter soldier, you knew you were safe with James. You knew that Clarrise was his child as well, and that she was safe with James. 

Gently reaching for his hand, you lead him into your home. He shuts the door behind him, and smiles as you walk to the kitchen continuing your work making dinner. You pause and look over at Clarrise who is now wide awake. 

“Do you want to meet her?” You ask, noticing James looking over at the babbling baby. 

He nods with a smile, subconsciously knowing that Clarrise is his child. As you approach the bassinet, you smile down at her. “Hi sweetheart, are you awake?” You ask in a small voice, smiling as she smiles back up at you. Picking her up, you hold her against your chest, looking to James with a smile. 

“I named her Clarrise, after my mother. Do you want to give her a middle name?” You ask, subconsciously accepting that he is her father. He looked to you and tilted his head. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to force himself into the life you and Clarrise already have. You nod and wait for him to give an answer. “What about Sarah? After my sister?” 

Your ears perked at the word ‘sister,’ “You have a sister?” You ask with smile. 

“I had a sister. She um, she passed away a couple years ago. But she was sweet, and I think that it would be perfect for this sweet girl as well.” You smile at his suggestion and nod in approval. 

“Clarrise Sarah Barnes.” You utter, gently handing James your baby girl. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt her, I know you won’t.” Looking up at him, you can see the hesitation in his eyes. As he takes Clarrise in his arms, the connection is clear between them. A father-daughter bond that no one can just create. She was his.

“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” He subtly compliments you, himself falling for you. This time in the form of true love, not forced love. You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile pulling at your lips. 

“She has her fathers eyes,” You point out Clarrise's blue eyes, still slightly forming as she grows. “And his bravery.” Adding onto her attribute, you look at James face as he interacts with the baby. 

Thinking of his preposition, you say to him, “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little protection. I-it would be nice to not feel so scared going out. Clarrise I bet would love to have her father around as well.” 

You anxiously wait for James’s reaction, hoping he doesn’t think you are moving to fast. Relief flooded your system as he nods. “I promise you, no one will hurt you. Not anymore.” He says, turning his head back to you. “I promise, Carla.”

You shake your head, and wave your hand a little bit. “Y/n is fine. Im sick of being someone Im not.”

He chuckles softly. “Trust me, I get it.” You smile and you move next to him, leaning on his strong bicep as you both look down at your beautiful baby girl. 

“James?”

“Yes, Y/n?” 

You pause.

You smile as he transfers Clarrise back into your arms. She has fallen asleep again, so you put her back in her bassinet. With the knowledge that both of her parents looking down at her, it makes you feel secure and safe. 

You turn to Bucky and look up at him, your hands coming to meet his cheeks. The proximity of the both of you made your heart beat quicker, and your mind blank. You did what you felt was right and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. His hands hold your waist gently, and he pulls you into him. You pull away breathlessly and he kisses your temple. You move your arms around his torso, and he holds you in an embrace, his chin resting on your head.

"I’d like you to stay. Please.” You answer, a sigh of relief escaping your mouth as you feel him nod his head. 

“Of course, princess, of course.” He cradles the back of your head in his large hand and kisses your forehead once again. He may have hurt you in the past, but he’s gained a little bit of your trust. He showed you that he is sorry, and you understand that it was not his fault. In this new chapter of your life, you know you will make it far.

And so will your baby girl. 

[ratherembarrassing]

2025: week 6 and 7

previously, on ratherembarrassing, our heroine was fleeing the mothercountry for the new world...

around the world in thirteen days: so all up, i made my way through every timezone in 13 days. i... don't recommend it, i don't think. it's possible that it was less good because, uh, i didn't sleep for 2 weeks, but who the fuck can say. in any event, onward to the ununited states!

newark!: the calmest airport in the entire country?! the cute little monorail to the train station?!?! the complete lack of signage about the two different train operators and the requirement to get a completely different ticket for each????? i will never fly anywhere else ever again if i can help it.

wet dream tomato: that congestion tax really is working because the streets of midtown were quiet at midday. the vibe was really off until hours before i departed when i saw what looked to be an eight year-old smoking. a shout out to myself for dropping a pin in the three theatres i was seeing shows in on maps and booking a hotel in the middle of the triangle, because that was, actually, sweet as fuck.

theatah!: oh, mary! (lyceum theatre, broadway). as previously said, laughed so hard i nearly peed my pants in a new york theater. as not previously said, i also sucked every bit of myself up and stage door'd in the rain and told betty gilpin, through the power of close proximity, that i love and adore her. go see this.

and then i bought a coat: this truly was an endeavour. the half abandoned basement of a macy's in brooklyn could well have been where i met my end, but i lived to see another h&m and the sweetest sales girl in the world found me the last remaining coat in all of the eastern seaboard. getting this home became a whole thing.

bagel bagel bagel!: so many bagels, the most enchanting of which was one filled with birthday cake flavoured cream cheese from a BTS (the band???) themed bagel store. new york, you are so weird and i love you so much. honestly, because of the weather i was really committed to just not leaving a 4 block radius if i didn't have to (alas, brooklyn) and just wringing the weirdest shit out of those four blocks was incredibly fun. i've been visiting new york for eighteen years and lived there for long enough to pay rent three times, and i've never spent so much time in times square, but i had a fun snowy time.

also, tho: you get mobile signal with data on the subway now?!?!?!?!

theatah!: sunset blvd (st james theatre, broadway). i actually have an entire post in me about this so i'm going to just say that you are free to picture me in the world's largest puffer coat, snoopy style, attempting to melt into the floor as nicole scherzinger said she liked my good luck babe hat as it quietly midnight snowed all around us. byeeeee. (go see this, oh my god go see this!)

theatah!: death becomes her (lunt-fontanne theatre, broadway). i did not know destiny's child's michelle williams was in this until she appeared and i very rudely said out loud, oh my god that's destiny's child's michelle williams. regardless, i was three for three with bangers on this trip. go see this.

go west! life is not peaceful there: absolutely nobody appreciated the moment we were all standing on line for an aggressive pat down by the tsa at jfk when wind beneath my wings started playing over the pa system. i was not amongst my people at all, so i had to leave. on the way, i visited texas for a grand total of 5 minutes. please picture me running off my plane, dashing 3 gates down the terminal, hugging @xactodreams, and running onto the next plane.

a brief interlude: once again they let me drive on the wrong side of the road. they probably shouldn't. why are the traffic lights only on the other side of the intersection. hertz does this thing now where you can just wander around the lot and take whatever car you want, which was more stressful than anticipated.

conclave conclave: this is, actually, the entry for @tgifemslash, my beloved little gay con that you too could attend if you want to do things like, uh, sit in a circle for an hour raving madly about the various wonders of 2024 movie of the year conclave. at this point in our story i had slept very little and was about to commence 3 nights of approximately zero sleep before 4am.

taco taco taco!: i admittedly have historically not been a fan of most mexican food, entirely because it's just not good in australia. in the hands of @wanderson20 mine eyes have been opened to the glory.

traditional shoutouts: clark street diner (my favourite place on earth). the grove (why do i always end up here) (i had to buy a suitcase). erhewon or however the fuck it's spelled (i joined a cult). the nice woman at the qantas desk (thank you for not charing me to check my second suitcase (see grove, the)). panda express (lax's international terminal's only good quality).

oh also: kbox karaoke in a deserted strip mall at 9pm on a sunday in an otherwise entirely empty karaoke place is, actually, it. were there other patrons for a brief window of time, howling on the other side of the wall, or was that the ghosts of patrons never.

SHE GETS THE JOB DONE: swerved 20 minutes out of my way and paid homage at the chappell roan billboard. shout out to the other person there doing the same thing. then i had to go home :(

and then a hero comes along: entire row of seats to myself, love of my life. it's such a rare treat these days to commandeer three tiny, shitty pillows and three gross blankets, strap yourself awkwardly to a bench slightly too short for even your shortass body, and drug yourself into unconsciousness for 11 hours. amen.

and then nothing good ever happened again the end au contraire.

cannibal club!: the yellowjackets is BACK, BABY! the severance/yellowjackets double feature is the only reason to get up in the morning, tbh.

a little brunch: little molli's (abbotsford). the smoked pork neck french dip is to die for, but the blood orange cream soda is to live for.

if anything else happened, i will never remember it, good night.