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duck-in-a-spaceship · 8 months

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New chapter! Sorry for the tiny delay, got caught up with stuff yesterday. Hope you enjoy!

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“Come on, come on, we’re almost there!” Neil urged Todd along, flapping his hands as if that could make him go faster.

“If we’re almost there-” Todd began, stepping over a gnarled tree branch in his path. “-then why do we need to hurry so much?” He stumbled, and nearly crashed into Neil in an attempt to steady himself. A tree stopped his fall instead.

“Because we’re excited,” Neil said, oblivious to the near-disaster that just occurred behind him. He paused and turned to Todd, flashed the light on his face so Todd could see his grin. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Yeah, I’m excited. I’m even more excited not to fall into a tree.” Todd caught up with Neil, pushing the flashlight out of his face as he passed by. “Don’t do that, you’ll blind yourself.”

Neil started walking again, whirling around so he was facing the right way. “I’m not going to blind myself, come on.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Todd quipped back absentmindedly, back to focusing on where his feet landed. Honestly though, he was pretty sure those flashlights they had were industrial strength; they cut through the night like knives, left shadows dripping away from their beams like blood.

Onwards they went- over fallen trunks like bridges over seas of moss, under trees that blotted out certain stars to create their own constellations, through vines that draped like the curtains of a theater, concealing them further and further backstage.

Todd followed Neil into the cave, careful to watch his head on the way in.

“Are you ready?” Neil asked as they got settled.

Todd nodded, pulling out the book and letting it land with a heavy thud in his lap. “You?” he asked back.

“Well sure, it’s not like I have to do much.”

The rustling of pages slowed to silence as Todd paused for a moment, looking up at Neil. “You know… why not?”

“What do you mean why not?” Neil tilted his head slightly, and Todd returned to flipping through the book as he spoke, not looking up.

“Well I’m just saying, you can read something at these meetings too. I know that’s not the point but…” Todd found the right page, and fiddled with the bit Keating had folded over. “It might be nice,” he finished softly, looking back up at Neil.

“Yeah, alright.” Neil smiled, leaning on the rocky wall behind him. “Yeah, alright, I like that idea. Damn, I’ll have to find something good then.” He seemed to contemplate that notion for a moment, looking up at the ceiling to think. Then he shook his head, instead nodding at the book in Todd’s hands. “But, hey, quit stalling. You’re still up, you know.”

“I’m going,” he insisted.

Neil grinned, sitting back up and leaning in with anticipation. “Am I allowed to look this time?”

Todd bit the inside of his cheek, stamping down a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Todd cleared his throat after he finished the poem, closing the book around the words. When he looked up, he found Neil still grinning, looking up at him with a certain gleam to his eye. The same gleam, Todd was starting to learn, as when he suggested they do this in the first place, when he urged Todd on to read, when he pressed their foreheads together in the hallway, when he was about to do something that would make Todd’s stomach flip.

“You stole that from Keating,” Neil proclaimed.

“I- what?”

“The poem, he was talking about it in class earlier, you just took his idea.” Neil grinned as he spoke, clearly enjoying the teasing, and Todd resisted the urge to remind him which one of them was holding the very heavy book of poetry.

“I didn’t steal his idea, I asked him for recommendations and he gave me this.”

“Aw, you’re a teacher’s pet,” Neil joked, jumping to his feet just so he could sit right back down next to Todd.

“Well- hey you were the one that told me to go to Keating!” Todd shoved him away a bit, but Neil didn’t seem to mind, laughing him off.

“And you took my advice!”

“Only because he basically cornered me during the lesson today.”

“Well, good for him. I’ve noticed that’s the best way to make friends with a Todd.” He elbowed Todd in the side, which earned him a swat in the arm in return.

“Other than dragging him into your secret societies, right?”

“Alright, fine, second best way.”

Todd smiled into his lap, pulling his coat a little tighter around his body. It was hardly necessary though; the cave seemed to trap in their warmth, like a protective shield.

“Hey, thanks for that, by the way.”

“Hm?” Neil asked softly, and Todd had the feeling he had been about to fall asleep.

“For getting me into the Dead Poets Society and… introducing me to all of your friends and stuff. You didn’t have to do all that.”

“Of course I did,” Neil said, and his smile was so incredibly genuine, eyes shining even in the dim lighting of the cave, that Todd was robbed of the ability to do anything other than nod. Neil linked their arms together, pulling Todd to his feet. “Come here.”

Todd allowed himself to be pulled up, tucking the book under his arm. “Back to Welton?” he asked. “Or is this another one of your adventures?”

Neil grinned as he dragged Todd out of the cave. “Adventure,” he confirmed, looking over his shoulder at Todd. “Don’t worry, I promise it’ll be a quick one.”

Todd nodded, and bit back the urge to assure him that it didn’t have to be, that he didn't really mind either way.

He was led around to the side of the cave, the leaves doused with last night’s rain pressing down under their feet, not crunching together as much as soggily rustling. Neil pulled his arm away from Todd’s, instead grabbing onto the side of the cave, first a rock jutting out from the side, then a root wrapped around the stone, then he was scrabbling all the way up, sending down a waterfall of leaves.

Neil turned back around, and offered a hand out to Todd.

“You want- up there?” was all Todd could say, taking half a step back.

“Yeah! Oh come on, Todd, it’s not that far.”

“You almost fell!”

“But I didn’t,” Neil pointed out triumphantly. “Besides, you’re more coordinated than me, and I can help you up.” He waggled his fingers, as if Todd was a cat he was trying to tempt up onto the counter top.

Todd looked through the trees, over in the direction he knew Welton to be in. It would be all too easy to just start the trek back but… well that wasn’t what he wanted, now was it? If Todd wanted to be back at Welton instead of balancing on the top of caves, he never would have left the comfort of his bed in the first place.

“I mean, you don’t have to, of course, but I-”

Todd cut Neil off with a sigh and shoved Keating’s book at him. “Hold this.”

“Gladly,” Neil said, accepting the book with a smile, and shifting back to give Todd the room he needed to scramble up after him. The rock was wet, cold, and, where Neil hadn’t knocked them off, covered in leaves. They slid over the surface like slips of newspaper draped wetly over a balloon in still-drying paper mache, slick under Todd’s hands but sticking to his fingers when he pulled them away. With careful progression, Todd slowly made his way to the top, accepting Neil’s hand to help him up the final steps of his journey.

“You got it?” Neil asked, and Todd nodded, not quite ready to let go of him. The top of the cave was even worse than its sides, covered in layers of slippery foliage, and Todd was ever-mindful of the opening in the cave just behind them. The once-convenient smoke port for their fireplaces had become a hazard, and Todd silently consoled himself with the fact that at least it would be a short fall, if he did go tumbling down.

“Did you have a plan here, or was this it?”

“Of course I have a plan.” Neil sounded slightly offended, so Todd shrugged in defeat, and didn’t press him any further. A couple moments went by, during which they did nothing but stare at the trees, and Todd was just about to ask if Neil would like to elaborate when-

“YAWP!!!”

Todd stumbled backwards slightly, just barely managing to stay up right and save himself from disaster. “Holy shit Neil what was that for?”

Neil just laughed, grabbing onto his knees as he doubled over. “Sorry, sorry! I just-” he straightened up, looked over at Todd. “Keating was right, it feels good! Go on, you try.”

“I did it last time.”

“Yeah, in class. This is way better, no walls, no rules, no limitations just-” Neil spread a sweeping arm over the forest in front of them. “-just this. Just us.”

Todd relented, stepping towards the edge of the rocks, clearing his throat slightly. He found himself wishing he still had the book, just for something to do with his hands, but Neil still had it firmly in his possession. He stuffed them into his pockets instead.

“Yawp!” Todd shouted, immediately disappointed by how flat the word sounded. Neil was right; the sound couldn’t bounce off the walls of the classroom and back to him, it was eaten instead, by the layers of leaves and branches. The toe of his boot scooched slightly closer to the edge of the rocks, pushing leaves over the side. Todd pulled his hands out of his pockets, and cupped them around his mouth. “YAWP!”

“Yes!” Neil cheered, punching him in the shoulder, and Todd stepped away from the edge, stuffed a hand back into his pocket, while the other grabbed onto Neil’s sleeve to make sure he wouldn’t go tumbling over. Or, at least, to make sure they’d fall together. “Didn’t that feel good? I mean, god, we could say anything up here! Anything we want, who cares?”

Neil turned back to the forest, spreading his hand that wasn’t clutching the book out wide. “I’m gonna be an actor!”

“I’m gonna be a poet!”

“Yeah!” Neil shouted. “No matter what anyone says!”

“Fuck Welton!”

Neil laughed, pumping his fist into the air. “Fuck Welton!”

That got Todd laughing too. “You’re right, that does feel pretty good.”

“Right? God I wish we could do this at Welton. Just stand on the top of the stairway and shout things to the world.”

Todd scoffed, and shifted so he was sitting down on the edge of the rocks, with his legs swinging down into the cave itself. Neil joined him. “That’s a good way to get expelled,” he agreed. “I bet you could get Charlie to do it though.”

“Well, Charlie would have to do it alone. My dad would kill me if he found out I was being so disrespectful. Although, if I was lucky, he might have a heart attack first.”

Todd smiled, looking down at his feet, swinging through the air next to Neil’s. “Neil I- are you sure this play thing is a good idea?”

Neil’s feet stopped swinging in the air, and Todd felt his shoulders stiffen.

“Listen, just, I know it’s what you want to do and all, but if you get caught then-”

“If this, if that!” Neil exclaimed, cutting him off. He threw his hands into the air, deliberately looking away from Todd. “I know it’s risky, I know my dad will have a fit if I get caught but… dammit Todd I can’t… I can’t not do this, you know?” He looked over with wide, pleading eyes, and Todd tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

He was saved from having to talk around it as Neil continued. “I mean, I’ve thought this through. I know all the bad things that could happen, but none of them seem to matter. Because none of them seem worse than not acting, than not doing this at all. I need to try, at least once in my life, and then he can send me off to medical school or Harvard or wherever, and I’ll be able to bear it because at least I had this, this one thing that he couldn’t take from me. At least I did it once.”

The wind rustled through the trees, and Todd pulled his jacket tighter around his chest. He bit on the inside of his cheek, turning his next words over in his mind. He desperately didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but he had no idea what right thing was supposed to replace it. “I just don’t want you to… to get hurt or anything.”

For some reason, that got Neil to crack a smile, gently knocking his shoulder against Todd’s. “You know I was joking earlier when I said my dad would kill me, right? I’d be fine, Todd.”

Todd smiled in return, ever so slightly. “No I know, it’s just… I don’t want your dreams to get crushed. I know how important this is to you and… and I don’t want him to ruin that.”

“I think I’d be letting him ruin it already if I never even tried.”

“Yeah… yeah I guess so.”

Neil stood up, rising to his feet and sticking a hand out to Todd. “Besides, you’re such a pessimist,” he said as he helped his friend up, brushing the leaves away from Todd’s jacket. “I’m not going to get caught. The hard part was the auditions and paperwork; it’s all smooth sailing from here.” He smiled, offering the book out to Todd, who finally took it back. “Trust me.”

And as Neil helped him down the edge of the cave (after nearly falling on his face himself) and they made their way through the forest and back to Welton, Todd found that, for some reason, he absolutely did.

#dead poets society #fanfiction #duck writes #todd anderson #neil perry #sorry the links on these keep breaking btw #lemme know if anything is linked up wrong and i'll try to fix it #not the ao3 ones just the next and prev #im sure a lot of people read on ao3 anyway

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