#pretty sure that's not how reflections work (for the boat) but oh well

[doc-is-sometimes-in-places]

doc should go to canada

[post 12] They're going on a boat ride!

[rassicas]

You at some point said that you wanted to change some of the backstory of Verna regarding his relations with Grizzco, to better reflect his position and purpose at the company with the new rotm and potential Splat3 dlc lore. Now that we have everything, have there been some finalized thoughts on the subject?

currently with my OCs I'm a bit stuck. I have this whole huge plot I've been trying to work out with how Cress and Verna reunite and get into some... Wacky Misadventures (they are going to have a bad time. together), and come out of it more understanding of each other....all this takes place prior to the start of Splatoon 3, and Grizzco is involved in that story so i cant really work out what happens to Verna during Splatoon 3 until all that is worked out...augh.

oh god i accidentally wrote too much about how grizzco works in my splatoon OCs setting. under the cut

How I've basically worked it out in my setting is that it's as if Mr. Grizz doesn't even exist. Well, he does, but...you can NOT convince me this literal mammalian bear is micromanaging an egg collection operation a few hours away from an underground cavern, all while building a spaceship, repairing alterna, and doing god knows what with fuzzy ooze? his voice from the radio is pre-recorded. He's just in the background trying to get his golden eggs for his stupid mammal revival plan. Grizz is pretty paws-off with the actual operations of the company. In order for Grizzco to operate like an actual company in the Inkling world, Mr. Grizz needs connections within the Inkling world. He needed to hire people, and lots. contractors to pilot the boats. the helicopters. people to repair them when there's issues. contractors to set up the grizzco building. people to maintain it. Supplying and maintaining weapons. Who put the statue there? Remember when grizzco would actually close its gates? someone had to be doing that. Advertisers? Sales of eggs? Do you really think Mr. "Does your species even have bones" Grizz is doing all that? No. So how would Grizz get these connections? I think ORCA could've helped out in some way with scouting some people online or with Grizz's business knowledge being an all-knowing AI. ROTM sure does a great job explaining or even implying anything about the relationship between those two. /s. But ORCA still is just a virtual entity, and you'd need a physical representative for some things, right? Anyway this is where the Judds come in. I think the idea that Lil' Judd being Grizz's initial way into the Inkling world...sucks. That's probably what the Splatoon team is going for and I do not care, the timeline on that does not make sense. Grizzco was introduced to us, the players, in April 2017. At this point the egg baskets are all installed, and there are Inklings in-universe partaking in egg collection....Lil Judd was born only a few months prior. I'm sure it would've taken a while for grizz to get everything together to establish this company. To me it makes more sense for Judd to have involvement. He's the only other mammal, and the one with all the power. (not only do i think the implied canon timeline sucks, in my OCs canon, i've had it established that grizzco has existed in some form several years before s1 so...) I wouldn't think Judd would know about the mammal revival plan. but like, Judd lets Grizz set up because he's looking out for his fellow mammal, and saw the kind of energy benefits this would have….also more salmon meat, yum. Judd canonically has numerous connections in the Inkling world, even to world leaders. He could use these connections to allow for Grizzco to set up business and give that permission to operate in the restricted areas where Salmonids live. Beyond this I have a hard time imagining Judd getting too heavily involved. Like once some other people are hired to do some more micromanaging of the company Judd kinda dips. Lil judd doesn't get involved until some years later and takes more direct interest in the company. With permissions granted and Grizzco operating as a defense against the Salmonid army while also providing power eggs, then grizz could do whatever he wanted so as long as an amount of money and eggs went into the Inkling world. And eggs are the primary source of income for Grizzco, so this part is very important. I think very early on Grizz would've had to personally deal with the sales of eggs to get the money to get the company started...maybe selling to octarians even? But for some real business dealings in inkopolis, youre gonna need some representatives in-person. anyways remember when this post was about my OCs. So I'm making a Grizzco board of directors, and they're the ones who actually maintain the company and the things in it while Grizz is busy in Alterna. Even the directors don't really know about Grizz's mammal revival plan, they just supply him with golden eggs and turn a profit for the company, by whatever means necessary.

After spending quite some time at Grizzco and becoming more trusted as an employee, Verna gets to know some of these directors. Some become his allies, and some are a bit more unsavory... He starts spending more time with some of them especially after his salmonid encounter, and they'll have a role in Cress and Verna's story. I've had some of these guys bouncing around in my head for years. some of them have art that im sitting on. i wish i could share more but I am Not done cooking </3 so to answer your ask in short. yes I have finalized much of the things with how i have grizzco functions in my OC's setting, and im basically ignoring the existence of grizz himself, in the same way that grizzco as a company runs completely normally even after grizz basically dies in ROTM. but at the moment, i do not have all the details finalized with other people at the company and how verna interacts with them

[hedghost]

Hedge’s Unofficial Ratings of 2024 Adidas Kits That A Few People Asked For This Time

Let’s start strong with Germany! Did someone say kuntenserven?

Everyone’s seen this home kit and rightfully, everyone loves it. It’s just so sexy, how could you not? The crisp clean white paired with the classic adidas stripes, but with that sexy germany flag gradient? oh lord i’m weak at the knees. Naturally it’s helped by the fact that the germans have a pretty sexy colour pallete to work with, but still.Even the diamond detailing like oml. It just looks fire, literally. i love it. -9/10

The away kit meanwhile is kind of spinning my head a bit. I genuinely don’t know if i love it or hate it. in theory i love hot pink kits, but i also fucking hate the purple gradient. if the whole thing was pink i’d say absolutely yes because i genuinely love garish eyesores, but this is just not hitting the spot for me. also what’s with the pattern? this is what i imagine you would see if a hedgehog went down on you. undecided - 5.5/10

Wales’s sense of style reflects their Euros qualifications… in that i’m yet to see either

don’t get me wrong the home isn’t bad, it’s just nothing special, and nothing we haven’t seen before. i like the green and yellow stripes up the side, that’s a nice touch, but other than that i’m left feeling uninspired, which is probably how the welsh feel when they watch their men’s team play. still, i’m sure hayley ladd serves in it so - 6/10

the away kit though? yep that’s fucking ugly. whoever decided that wales should include yellow in their red and green colour scheme needs jail time, and also probably an eye test. what the fuck is that shade? yellow is very hard to make look good so props for trying, but just no. plus they missed the chance for green kits, objectively the best kit colour possible, yet also the most underused. (and don’t say it’s because it blends into the grass because that’s blatantly not true). i like the fun zigzags down the side, but it’s giving reggae, which is absolutely not the vibe that wales gives. should’ve put a big dragon on the front and called it a day - 3/10

Spain, what did I just say about ugly yellow kits?

The home kit is lovely. They didn’t feel the need to push the boat out, but why disrupt a classic? These shades go so well together, and there’s also a very faint but very nice pattern on the shirt if you look closely. its bright, it’s energetic. it’s giving fire, flames and lightning mcqueen. kachow! - 8/10

Away kit is absolutely fucking disgusting. Are adidas capable of making two nice kits for one team? If you asked me to describe the absolute worst shade of yellow i’d picture exactly that. the word that comes to mind is putrid. and as if that wasn’t enough, they decided to pair it with an absolutely clashing shade of turquoise. no thank you. no me gusta - 3/10

No Scotland No Party? Well with this kit, I’m inclined to agree.

Who would’ve thought a tartan football kit could be a good idea? Not me, and yet here comes Scotland, with an actual fucking masterpiece. This home kit is just, wow. I love it. It’s so clever, such a good nod to the country, and it just looks absolutely incredible. I fucking adore it. I don’t have much else to say other than whoever made this knew what they were doing. Good job - 10/10

The away kit meanwhile, is again, astonishingly mid. It’s fine I guess. Very plain, kind of giving the colour scheme of a cartoon character but i can’t put my finger on which one, but it’s still decent. The colours do go well together, and i like how the side panelling, includes that tartan pattern again, which as i already mentioned, is fucking sexy. just maybe stick to the home - 6/10

Hungary for more? Not really.

This is the wales kit. it is pretty much almost exactly just the wales kit. like it’s fine, but it’s just?? idk i’m bored. also why have they got two badges? greedy much? just a bit busy. idk it’s fine i have literally no other thoughts on this. boring! - 6/10

The away kit is boring as fuck too, but i actually like this one a lot. i think white kits have more license to bore. it’s a nice colour scheme too. does look a bit italian though. idk it looks good but i can’t say why. it’s just classic. the centre adidas logo looks good here. it’s the green im telling you. more green please! - 7.5/10

BELGIUM I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH

oh my god this home kit. i’m in love and i suddenly wish i was belgian. wow. holy shit. who did belgium pay to get a kit this nice? i’m in genuine awe. the sexy sexy maroon colour, paired with black and gold? fuck me sideways. i’m not joking when i say this kit oozes sex. that pattern?? oh my lord. it’s giving luxury velvet chaise longue. its giving old timey men in those smoking jackets, with a glass of whiskey and a cigar. i feel like i’m in the palace of versailles just looking at it. wow belgium, wow. - 11/10

not only that, they did it! they actually gave us two good kits! this one is based off tintin, and who doesn’t fucking love tintin? i adore it. lovely shade of blue, with this gorgeous pattern again, and the collar? collars should only be used if they add something to the kit, and boy does this add a whole fucking lot. thank you tintin you beautiful boy. what a kit. - 10/10

And now we’re back to normal programming with Italy

The common theme with adidas is boredom. At least when i was rating nike i actually had stuff to talk about. these are just okay. like yep okay it’s fine. there’s nothing wrong with it. i like the flag shoulder stripes. but yeah, it’s just there. i’ve forgotten what it looks like already i’m that bored - 6/10

the away kit is exactly the same. to be fair, i do like the asymmetric colour scheme, that’s quite nice. it’s simple, it’s clean, it’s just the italian flag really isn’t it? the collar is nice in fairness. it’s decent. - 7/10

Wow. Mexico. Holy fucking shit. Wow.

i literally am so in love with this kit that i’m lost for words. just everything about this is so stunning that i’m struggling to believe it’s a real adidas kit and not a fan made one from tiktok. this pattern has so much going on yet without being garish or busy, it just works. the colours go together so well, i’m just sat here staring at it with tears in my eyes. it’s art. i love it so much thank you mexico thank you - 11/10

and it just gets better with the away kit? this is so fucking sexy, so clean. it complements the home kit perfectly. it’s such a fun pattern but it’s also so classy, so beautiful. both of these kits invoke mexico without being either stereotypical or same-old same-old. i just love it. i love when kits are different!! more please, everyone else take notes!! - 10/10

Colombia took me a while but I’m actually a fan

i hated this at first because i thought it was just a plain boring yellow kit but then i saw those sexy ombre side panels. i just love red orange yellow colour schemes, like yes they hurt my eyes but it’s just such a sexy combination. fire for real. the yellow prevents it from getting top marks bc yellow is just fugly let’s be real, but overall it’s not bad - 7/10

now, you guys now i feel about black kits. more please!!! black is always sleek, it’s always classy, it’s always cool as fuck! big fan. this also seems abnormally shiny, which like okay serve i guess? the only thing i will say is it’s giving training kits with the orange highlights, but we can’t all be mexico, can we? - 8/10

Peru couldn’t be fucked and resorted to clip art

this home kit is like the definition of couldn’t be arsed. i could’ve done this on microsoft paint. i actually hate sash kits they’re just so fucking boring, and like, they just don’t look that good do they. boring. - 4/10

the away on the other hand? wow wow. this is what colombia wishes it was. this is a sexy fucking black kit, and pairing it with dark red and gold? oh lord yes please. sexy as fuck, plus a cheeky bit of animal print? okayyyy get it. even those little bits at the side that adidas seem obsessed with this year are sexy. it’s reminding me of a cheeky little leg slit in a cheeky little dress, and then you get a cheeky little glimpse of some cheeky little red zebra print thongs. okay word. peru you cheeky little minx, stop teasing me. - 9/10

Chile stayed solid, and you can’t go wrong with that.

these are both just nice kits. the home is classy, it’s just a simple white kit but it looks fresh as hell, and the red swoops look so good. also love that the patterning they’ve used on the red matches the away kit. it’s very simple but it’s clearly thought out and i respect that. they saw the others going ham with crazy patterns and stuck to their guns. it just looks nice. - 7/10

the away is a similar story - nothing flashy, but effortlessly nice. i rate the little pixel pattern, it’s simple but it’s nice. it’s a decent kit. could’ve pushed the boat out a tiny bit more but overall it’s fine. it’s giving national league a tiny bit. respect chile - 7/10

Finally, you can always count on Argentina to serve.

The home kit is just pure argentina innit? like there’s no way you see this kit and see anything other than argentina, and i respect that. it’s just a classic! it’s clean it’s crisp, we’ve seen it all before, but listen, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. can’t go wrong. also i’m a huge believer that gold should only be permitted on a kit if you’ve won something, and so mad respect for these sexy gold highlights.- 8/10

and the away kit? i’m a huge fan. it’s a nice simple kit, they’ve gone for a new shade of blue and it’s pretty sexy. the collar looks so fit here, i love it. what i love the most though, is how they’ve incorporated the usual kit into the swoopy bits? (that’s their official name now i’ve decided). anyway those blue and white stripes just look so yummy, very nautical, i’m a big fan. yay argentina! - 9/10

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 014: Let's get Morb'd! (ASM 100-102, Ann 8)

MASTERPOST

Dear readers,

as I'm writing these lines, the 13th part of this read-through (specifically, its first half) has been liked by 5 accounts. What happened? Did people like my gay jokes? Did they like the improved presentation? Did I just get lucky?

How mysterious.

What's also mysterious is the promise of a twist ending in issue 100, although if you've read the title, you probably can see where this is going.

In this set of issues, Peter gets himself in a peculiar threesome admist dubious facial surgery, improved dexterity, and a series of yeetings.

Yeah, join in on the fun, Peter!

Gil Kane is once again the pencil artist for the issue, and it shows.

What happened to Peter's face? What happened to his silhouette? This is truly saddening.

The issue is very simple. Peter has apparently been working on a serum for years to kill his spider powers, and he tests it on himself. Ensues a lengthy dream/hallucination about him battling his old foes...

What really matters is the final page, of course.

You know, Stan Lee is often very fair. A few issues ago, he teased that Spidey's identity would be revealed to someone. Not only did it get revealed to most major character, but even though Peter managed to convince everyone that it was a mistake, it did have big consequences down the line. So you've got to give the man props: he's honest about it.

Kane's called "artist as usual" in issue #101, which I'm not happy about. Gwen calls Peter to invite him to watch the R-rated flick of his choice, and she name-drops Love Story and I Am Curious (Yellow). I'm actually stumped that Stan would name drop these (or accept them), but go off I guess.

I guess this is reflective of how Gwen wants their relationship to become physical.

The layout is confusing in this issue, I often read the bubbles out of order. You might consider it a testimony on Peter's state of mind, but it doesn't mean that it's fun to actually read.

The geographical layout is just as confusing, by the way.

Peter himself is kind of annoying, actually. His self-hatred reaches new heights here.

Not far from there, Morbius is in a boat and is very thirsty. And when a vampire thirsts, he sucks.

...I wanted this to rhyme. Oh well.

So Morbius arrived at Connors's lab and established it as his new home, and I'm thoroughly confused by the total unhinged vibes from this issue. It feels like the team tried to be creative, poetic perhaps, but it's so different from what came before, that it ends up being pretty tedious.

So the girls are fighting, and Spidey says this.

I thought this couldn't get any gayer, but then Connors arrives, sees Morbius, gets stressed, and you know what happens when he's stressed...

So fun times ahead!

It is at this point that I notice that the reason why my scans don't include readers letters is that they're from recent reissues.

Cue me screaming at the heavens.

HOWEVER, FEAR NOT, DEAR READERS. I have Alternate Sources(TM).

The drugs storyline has been very-well received overall.

In issue #101, there's this gem:

Honey, you've got a big storm coming :-)

The GG would yet again have a case of amnesia, and of course, we all know what happens in a few dozens issues... In the answer, Stan teases a future plot with the GG in the coming months. Color me intrigued...

Anyway, what really matters is that in issue #102, the Lizard has shojo eyes.

So anyway, Morbius yeets himself.

See what I mean by the confusing nature of the layout? A lot of text, and the bubbles keep going over panels. This is too much, Gil Kane. Far too much!!!

While they prepare a serum, Connors thinks that the name of Morbius reminds him of something...

Surely, it couldn't be...

But could it?

Let's spare the thought. Connors would prefer not to remember this whole debacle.

The Marvel editors must have been really fond of flashbacks, because after #100's 90% of recollection and hallucinations, we get dreams that are in fact Morbius's past. He remembers how his colleague thought he was gay with his lab partner.

Let it be known that Morbius hateth harlots

So Spidey's on his way to find Morbius, but Connors gets his Lizard persona back and proceeds to yeet himself off from Spidey's arms. This is becoming a thing.

On page 26 (what the hell, what's happening?), the artists suddenly remember that there's an audience for the soap part of these comics, and this part has been severely lacking in this arc, so we get one page of Gwangst (Gwen angst).

Meanwhile, J.J. Jameson declares that the Daily Bugle is in trouble. I wonder if it's reflective of the team's fear of ASM becoming obsolete. If only they knew! (Let's not tell them about Paul.)

Roy Thomas, your urge to bask in dubious poetry doesn't make this set of issue any better.

The issue ends with Peter losing his additional arms and Morbius "dying" (hahaha).

Stan explains that the magazine became more expensive due to inflation, but that they also made it bigger to justify the price.

Well, I personally prefer a shorter format. This was far too much, far too uninteresting (not for a lack of trying!), and outright unpleasant to read.

Annual #8 is a reprint of #46 so I'm not interested in re-reading it.

The next issue... Uh. Well.

Ka-Zar is back? Yay...?

*cries* Give me back Romita...!!!!

[leconcombrerit]

4, 6, 7, and 8 for the artist ask, please?

Sure ! I answered 4 already, so I'll skip it there.

6-Which artists inspire you right now ?

Oh that's a difficult one. I follow many but I'm not sure at what point I can say whether they inspire me or not -I mean they probably all do, although not consciouly. Tokipix pixelart inspires me, but I don't draw on those feelings. Yuumei, and Yingzong Xin, Piccolo, Litarnes for sure... I mean I don't know. Not sure.

7-Favorite works of all time excluding your own ?

That one Boris Groh piece where there's a little boy and a paper boat and the reflection of this giant monster in the water, watching over him. There are probably many more great pieces, and I'm still not over the "Mostly void, partially stars" Night Vale on but... If I have to choose I'll go for that one, it doesn't make me cry but it's beautiful and gives me chills.

And then there are any Yuumei piece, the litarnes ones that involve bits of his own thoughts and hurts, and the cover art Jason Chan did for the special edition of Prince of thorns. It fucks. Also I love Jorg so of course it gets special brownie points.

Don't expect me to name big classics though. I find them pretty but I'm an uncultured potatoe.

8-What do you like most about your own work ?

... The, uh. The. I'm thinking hard there. It's difficult because I can't help thinking of the process and how interesting each step is, it's giving me bias. Like lining sucks but my lines are fairly okay.

The lighting, overall, and shading on the characters' faces. I think I do that quite well. Light really gives off a nice mood for any drawing ever : sunlight, moonlight, light through foliage, through a window, there's never enough light.

[pixie-dust-campaign]

Subject W42

CW: Guns, PTSD, Lost love, blood, bullet wounds

It was early for me by the time I got off the plane, still not used to the time change. I was given a badge that read “ALL ACCESS” before I was escorted by a security guard down a narrow, white painted hallway. The door had a military insignia emblazoned on the glass, but I didn’t recognize which division it was. The automatic door opened to a dark room that had fluorescent blue lights hanging from the tall ceilings, and the temperature set at 69 degrees Fahrenheit. The air was thick with the scent of metal and axe body spray. Doing field research in the great barrier islands, it had been a while since I had been in an actual lab, but I was pretty sure this wasn’t the smell of greatness that I had heard so much about.

Before formally entering the lab, a few young scientists showed me to a set of changing rooms to get into proper attire. This room had bright white lights hanging from the ceiling, causing me to squint as my eyes adjusted. The dim white lights made my tanned skin look darker than it was. My wavey, golden bronze hair looked redder against the stark white lab coat they insisted I wear. I was permitted to stay in my decorative black yoga pants, light blue top, and gray high-top sneakers. Looking in the full-length mirror of the dressing room, I noticed I had lost some weight, and now had a faint hourglass figure. Living like a pirate for the past three years looks good on me, I thought with a smirk.

As I walked into the lab, I didn’t mean to stand on ceremony, but I honestly had no idea who I was supposed to be meeting with. That was, until an older woman in a lab coat and stubby heels walked up to me with open arms.

“Doctor O’Dame we are so glad you’re here! Well don’t stand in the doorway, come in!” she said with a slight British accent. Even with her slender frame, her hug was strong enough to make a bear think twice. She wore thick rimmed glasses, and her mousey brown hair with slim silver streaks was tied messily in a tight bun. Her ID badge said Doctor M. Braver.  Even in heels she wasn’t too much taller than I was. Her face was a bit weathered, but her green eyes were still young. She sounded like she had drunk about ten cups of espresso that morning.

“Yes, it must have cost the company a fortune to fly me back in from Australia,” I said.

“Oh yes! The land down under,” she cooed in a fake Australian accent of her own “How is it down there, mate?”

“Quite horrid this time of year actually. Tourists come in  and mess with my studies and what not,” I said with a small laugh and a smile.

I was astonished by the machinery that surrounded me. The blinking lights, the constant clicking of keyboards, the stark brightness of computer screens. Not to mention the array of color-coded wires all leading to different ports. Catching my reflection in one of the monitors, I noticed the lights highlighted the blue flecks in my typically hazel eyes.

A siren wailed from another room, causing me to gasp quietly and start to shake slightly. I haven’t been able to go near an alarm of any kind in the past few years, especially not a fire alarm. They always hurt my ears, but after the accident, the mere mention of one made my heart race.

“Doctor O’Dame?” Doctor Braver asked.

“Yeah, sorry,” I replied, slowly centering myself back to reality. “The boat doesn’t have nearly this many-um- lights. It’s just a bit…distracting.”

“Yes, well, you get used to it after a few years. That, and the fact that no one in this damn lab knows how to make a proper cup of tea. Anyway, I have much to show you!”

She formally introduced herself and guided me around the lab, quickly catching me up on all of the work they had been doing over the years. ��Our idea was that we could enhance both animal and human DNA, creating a whole new form of- “

“Super soldier?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“In a word, yes. We thought we could take each of the best elements of some of the strongest animals in the world, and transfer them to a human. Maybe not all at once but definitely over time, or one animal skill per test group.”

She continued explaining as we entered another room, decorated in the same fashion as the first, with five more rows of fancy computers and their adjoining scientists. Do these guys ever blink? I thought.

At the front of the room, there was a large sofa, a wooden table, and some clipboards and pens, on top of a platform. About six feet in front of the platform was a sheet of clear thick plexi-glass, that I’m assuming was only one way. On the other side of the glass looked like a padded prison cell. A slab of concrete for the floor, three walls made of pillows and at the very back was a steel door with a single small window near the middle.

“This Doctor O’Dame, is where you come in,” she said pleasantly as she led me up to the couch.  Another scientist then handed me a clipboard with my name at the back in glittering calligraphy:

Doctor Siena O’Dame

“We flew you in for two very important reasons.” She continued, “The first being your expertise in large mammal and human psychology. And while some argue that humans are large mammals, I can assure you that it is a very important distinction.”

As I took a seat, the sofa slowly began to move, and I saw the first product of their experiment as we glided past the cell. A man with tattoos covering his arms, wearing a black tank top, khaki cargo pants, and tan sneakers. The sofa stopped abruptly, and bright blue lettering appeared on the glass.

Jonathan Frome

Age: 26

Division: U.S. Marine

Position: Test subject B45

Status: Stable

“B45? What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means, Doctor O'Dame, that Mr. Frome was our 45th subject to be genetically manipulated with Oryctolagus Cuniculus DNA.”

“You gave him bunny DNA?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“You know your geno-types. Yes, Doctor O’Dame, he now has the keen hearing ability, similar to that of a rabbit. Combined with his human DNA, Mr. Frome can now hear in a wider range of tones and from a further distance than any human can ever dream of.”

“Remarkable,” I said, rising from my seat.

“Yes, the company spared no expense.”

“Clearly.”

Then the platform shifted again, causing me to trip back into my original place on the sofa. I wrote down some notes from each subject we passed. Each one was dressed in a similar fashion, each one looked human, and each one we passed was considered “stable.” A few even waved “hello” as we passed.

G15: Gorilla DNA, now the strongest mammal known to man; T22: Sea Turtle DNA, can hold her breath for up to eight hours; O34: Ostrich DNA, can run up to speeds of 50 miles an hour.

Before we got to the next room, near the end of the alphabet of test subjects, I asked, “Not that I’m not grateful, but you seem to have this under control. Why do you need me?”

“Because, while the transfer of DNA went well physically, some of our patients have been having a bit of a hard time adjusting psychologically. Most of the cases we were able to handle, except for one. Which brings us to the second reason why you’re here.”

The sofa moved to the next room and stopped once more.

In the dark padded room, in the very corner, sat a beast like none other I had seen. This one didn’t look human. He was covered in dark brown fur and had giant paws for hands and feet. It had ripped through its shirt, and only the top half of his pants remained. Its bowl was overflowing with cereal, and its water created a ring of rust on the metal bowl.

“You created a werewolf? An actual werewolf?” I breathed, curious as ever.

“Well…yes.” Dr. Braver responded. “And…no.”

Then the projector cast the creature’s information on the glass, and I read a name I never thought I would see again.

JUSTIN HERSHEY

AGE: 33

Division: Coast Guard, Engineer

Position: Test Subject W42

Status: Unstable, Dangerous

Tears welled in my eyes, and my breath caught in my lungs. “Justin?”

“You know this subject. What was he to you?” Doctor Braver asked.

“He…” I stroked my fingers for a ring that wasn’t there, “He was my fiancé.”

“Doctor O’Dame, I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok. Calling off the engagement was a mutual agreement when he shipped out on his first mission. Though, when he said he was going into the service, I never thought this was what he meant.” I went to place my hand on the cold plexi-glass. “How? How is he here? I…I went to his funeral. We… we buried a casket, I- “

“I know you must have a lot of questions- “

“Why did you bring me here?” I shouted at Doctor Braver, my blood boiling.

“Doctor, let me explain.” She said calmly, “You were listed as Mr. Hershey’s emergency contact when he first started the study. Before he underwent transformation, he never got a chance to change it. At first, we didn’t think anything would go wrong. If only we had known.”

I was at a loss for words. What was I supposed to say when I had just found out my ex- fiancé, whom I thought was dead, had been turned into a werewolf?

“I…I want to see him,” I said as I hopped off the platform.

“No, Doctor O’Dame! Wait- “

Before I could hear her warning, I headed for the door that read restricted access, and to my surprise, opened it with ease. I turned left down a narrow hallway, then left again to find myself in a much larger hallway lined with steel doors. Each door was labeled with the test subject’s ID. A55, B45, C67. It felt like a dizzying game of Bingo.

Finally, I found Justin’s door.

W42. DO NOT ENTER.

But I couldn’t resist. I had to see him for myself.

I unlocked the door with my key card, and gently pushed it open. I walked in slowly, giving my eyes time to adjust to the poorly lit space. The beast they claimed was Justin had moved from the corner I last saw him in. I slowly shuffled my way to the center of the room where the light was brightest, and stood frozen. From the darkness, I heard a deep growl rumble from behind me. My heart skipped a beat, as I slowly turned around and saw it. Two glowing teal eyes surrounded by dark fur and accented with a wicked smile of sharp white teeth. He had the body and face of a wolf, but the kindness in his eyes was still human.

I backed away slowly with my arms extended.

“Justin? It’s me. Please.”

The beast's face softened, but only for a moment. It shook its massive head, and resumed snarling at me.

“Justin. Please I-“ Like any good predator, he had backed me against a wall.  “Please.”

Then the beast pounced toward me, and I fainted.

In my subconscious, I remembered how Justin looked the last time I saw him alive. Justin was never extremely muscular, but he was strong enough for my liking. When he was human, he had messy blond hair, and pale blue eyes that drew you in.

When I finally came too, I was greeted by a bright white light, which was a bit concerning to say the least. Shortly after however, Doctor Braver came into focus.

“WHAT were you thinking? Going in there all alone? Are you mad?” She screamed at me, throwing her hands in the air.

“Completely bonkers. But that’s what makes me a great scientist,” I said, sitting up on the gurney. I noticed my right forearm was wrapped in gauze, and they had three distinct lines of blood casting a shadow on them.

“It’s what’s going to get you killed in this lab!” She scolded me, with her face scrunched as tightly as her bun. “Subject W42 is the reason you were brought here in the first place, and if you had let me finish before running off like that, I would have told you why! Subject W42-”

“Justin! His name is Justin!” I corrected through gritted teeth.

“Not anymore,” Doctor Braver said solemnly. It sent shivers down my spine thinking about what she meant.

“We attempted this experiment with other subjects. He was the only one who survived. You were almost right when you first saw him, Doctor O’Dame.” She said sitting spread eagle on a chair, “He is a werewolf. But not in the sense that he changes with the full moon, or has a feud with a sparkly vampire. No, our werewolf is something that science has never seen before. And we need you to crack him.”

“Me?”

“Yes! You see Doctor O’Dame there were moments in the experiment where, even in wolf form, he would tap your name in morse code on the door. Well, that and Harley, but we couldn’t find a ‘Harley’ with any relation to him. So, we assumed he meant like a motorcycle or boat he had.”

“Harley? He tapped Harley?”

“Yes! Does that mean something?”

“It used to. We used to joke that we were like Harley Quinn and Deadpool, because of our jobs. Him being a soldier and I being a psychologist. Not to mention the color schemes matched. So, we came up with a catchphrase of sorts. ‘Deadpool and Harley, forever and always.”

Then I remembered something I hadn’t in a very long time. The way he looked at me, the way he smiled, the way it felt when his arms were wrapped around me. Justin was only about a foot taller than I was when he was human, now he towered over me. Once again, tears welled in my eyes, but I kept them back. Then I looked down at my bandaged arm.

“I need to go back in.”

“We thought you might. So, this time, safety measures are going to be put in place. We’re going to put you both in a bigger room, and we’re going to turn on the sensors for your protection. This time, he won’t be able to hurt you.”

They had me change into my own set of black tank top and cargo shorts before they escorted me to the new room where Justin and I were to meet. The path we took to get there resembled a maze, but I guessed it was just another one of their precautions. I no longer felt like another doctor in the lab. Now, I was another test dummy for them to run experiments on.

When we reached the room, the steel door was labeled in the same fashion as the rest of them.

Caution! Experimentation in progress!

Authorized personnel only.

After the stunt I pulled with the first trial of this experiment, I was no longer “authorized personnel.”

They left me alone in front of the door, and told me to wait for further instruction.

“Whenever you’re ready Doctor O’Dame,” a voice finally said from an overhead speaker.

I grasped the handle of the metal door and took a deep breath. I opened the door slowly, and shuffled my way in. The door shut behind me and I heard it automatically lock once more. No way out.

Once again, the beast was nowhere in sight.

“Justin?” I called out. “Justin, it’s me. Siena.” I heard a small growl, and I froze once more. “Jay, I won’t let them hurt you. Just…just come on out, and we can talk. Okay?”

From the end of the room, he emerged into the light on his hind legs. His claws were almost as sharp as his teeth. He stood ten feet tall, and at least six feet wide. He had his paws crossed and his tail between his legs.

He dropped down to all fours, almost cowering before me.

“H-h-Harley?” the beast moaned in a low, gruff voice. The beast looked me up and down. When he saw my bandages, he stepped back and whimpered.  “Harley… hurt?”

“You can talk?” I said in astonishment.

The beast grunted in agreement. “I…hurt…Harley.”

“No, no! I’m ok. I know Justin would never hurt me.”

The beast recoiled at the sound of the name.

“No. Not…Justin.” The beast grunted. Every time he said Justin’s name, it seemed to pain him.

“Not Justin? Where is he?” I asked the beast inching forward.

“Justin…here.”

I inched forward even closer, “What do you mean- “

Suddenly, the wolf lunged for me once again, pushing me into the far wall of the cell, setting off the sirens and initiating the safety protocol. The sirens wailed, and my vision began to blur. Tears streamed down my face, my body began to shake, and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I curled into a fetal position and just wanted it to stop. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what used to be Justin convulse as well, until he collapsed in a heap on the floor.

When the sirens finally turned off, and I was able to stand and see straight again, I marched over to the door and banged my fists on it until it opened.

“Take me to see Doctor Braver, NOW!” I demanded the young scientist who opened the door for me. He led me to the office where Doctor Braver, as well as a few other scientists were working.

“Turn them off.” I said through gritted teeth.

“What?” Doctor Braver looked at me, puzzled.

“I said turn the sensors off!”

“Are you mad? If we turn the sensors off, that THING could kill you!”

“But he won’t!” I said sternly.

Doctor Braver and I stared at each other, unyielding, for what seemed like hours. Neither of us wanted to back down.

“He wasn’t trying to hurt me, doctor, he was trying to protect me! He didn’t want me to trigger the sensor myself! He was trying to push me out of the way!”

“And why was he trying to keep you out of the sensor?”

“Because Justin knows I have P.T.S.D, and alarms are my trigger! Whether you know it or not, my Justin is still in there!”

Everyone in the room was taken aback by my statement. They all looked to Doctor Braver for what to say next.

“If you die,” she finally rasped, “We have no other option. We’ll have to kill him. He’s too dangerous to release.”

“Doctor, he will not hurt me,” I said firmly.

After a long pause, the doctor released the tension in her shoulders and gave the command. “Turn off the sensors.”

Once again, I was escorted to the room where Justin was, only this time, Doctor Braver came with us.  “Doctor O’Dame,” She started hesitantly, “it didn’t say anything in your file about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, if I had known- “

“It’s not something I readily talk about.”

“Right.” She looked slightly embarrassed. “I am quite curious though. Why do alarms affect you so? For the sake of your own safety.”

I looked down at the floor as we walked. It wasn’t something I enjoyed reliving. “When I was in high school,” I began, “a shooter came to my school. They pulled the fire alarm to try and flush us all out into the parking lot. The teachers didn’t let us leave. Instead, they told us to stack desks against the door, and sit in the corner as quietly as possible. An hour. That’s how long it took them to turn off the alarm. Most of us came out untouched. Most of us.” I pulled up my shirt to reveal a small scar from where a bullet pierced my stomach. “The shooter broke through the glass window in the door and aimed the gun at one of my friends. Doctors said it would have killed her if I didn’t shield her. It’s a small price to pay to be a ‘hero’.”

All of us were silent for the rest of the walk.

When we reached the door, I was again left alone until I was ready to go in.

Once inside, I walked calmly to the center of the room and sat Indian style on the cold concrete floor. Then, I waited for him to come out.

After a minute or two, he too came into the light and sat down in front of me, looking even larger and more intimidating than the last time.

“Hi again,” I said with a smile.

No response.

“I promise I won’t let them hurt you this time. Not again.”

The wolf shifted its weight a bit, but didn’t respond.

“Where is Justin?” I asked the wolf, standing.

“Justin…here.”

“Where? Inside of you? Did you…eat him?”

“No,” he said, shaking his massive head. “Justin…here.” The giant wolf said as he bowed, touching his nose to his heart.

“Justin… is in your heart?”

The giant creature shook its head once more. Then, he laid as flat on his stomach as he could and shifted until he was inches away from me. “Justin…here.” The beast repeated.

“I’m sorry, but I… I don’t understand.” I said, dropping to my knees.

Then the creature searched around the room for something. When he came to a chair, he slowly moved it across the room to where he had been sitting before.

“Justin…” Then he ran behind the chair, making himself as small as possible.

“Justin…is hiding?” I asked.

The beast excitedly wagged its tail.

“Justin’s hiding! From who?” I asked, just as excited.

The beast looked disappointed in me. Then he repeated the same motion as before. “Justin…here.” Then he hid behind the chair.

Several times he repeated this motion.

Think Siena. What is Justin trying to tell you? Justin. Here. Hide. Justin, is here, but he’s not hiding? Then I remembered something I hadn’t before. When Justin was packing to leave, he took one book with him, Jekyll and Hyde.

I remembered the way our dimly lit apartment smelled of burnt garlic bread and lasagna. Justin attempted to make me dinner before he left. We drank a white wine we had been saving for a special occasion, and then I helped him pack. We kept getting distracted, and slow dancing to the music we turned on. Our hands fit together like Tarzan and Jane’s, and our bodies seemed to move as one.

“Justin, my Deadpool,” I whispered as we danced, “Even though our engagement’s been called off until you get back, I can’t wait to marry you,” I said, kissing him gently.

“As you wish, my Harley,” he whispered back.

When the song ended, we turned off the music and finished packing his remaining few items.

Then, we crawled into bed, and he grabbed Jekyll and Hyde off the nightstand. Gently wrapping his arms around me, he read aloud from the book. I mindlessly traced the veins on his hand with my thumb, memorizing every divot of his skin as he read. “I learned to recognize the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both.”

He wasn’t hiding from me; he was telling me his name!

“Justin!” I shouted excitedly. The beast stopped. “Chapter ten. Page one hundred and four. That was the last thing you read to me before you left. Before Justin left. That next morning, I found a note on your coffee cup, ‘Forever and Always my Harley. Love Deadpool.”

The beast jumped up and down excitedly, shaking the entire room and knocking me over. When he saw me on the ground, the monster froze, calmed down, and walked over to me. He helped me to my feet, but he remained on all fours.

“Can…Can Justin hear me?” I asked.

Again, the creature nodded.

“You’re not Justin?”

The creature shook its head.

“What should we call you?”

The beast didn’t answer.

“Grog? Steve? Fluffy?”

The beast shook its head in disapproval.

“How about Hyke? It’s like Hulk, but…cooler.” I suggested.

“H-h-Hyke. Me…Hyke. Justin…here.”

“Okay, different question. Can Justin ever come back?”

This time the creature nodded, and gently smiled.

“How?”

Before I got an answer the room filled with a sweet-smelling white smoke. My vision went blurry, and my limbs felt as if they weighed 100 pounds each. I felt my entire body wobble, and my legs gave out. And once again, the room went dark.

When I woke up, I was back in my hotel room, as if it was all a bad dream. But, if it was a bad dream, I would still be in Australia, on my boat, studying the wildlife of the deep. No. This experiment was all too real. On my bedside table, on the base of the lamp I saw a sticky note.

“Javier will pick you up at 8:30 am. Sorry about the possible hangover.

- Doctor Braver”

I looked at the digital clock next to the lamp, 6:13am. Not knowing what else to do, I looked through the pay-per-view movies on the hotel tv, and thankfully found an old version of Jekyll and Hyde. The quality was gritty, and the voices were a bit distorted, but it gave me what I needed.

The movie ended at 8:15, leaving me just enough time to get coffee from a nearby Starbucks, and meet Javier outside of the hotel.

The car he picked me up in had black out windows, and a screen dividing the front and back seats. I wasn’t sure whether to be scared or honored.

When we finally reached the facility, two of the scientists asked me to change into my tan attire, and a lab coat.

“I need to speak to Doctor Braver immediately,” I said once I finished getting changed.

“No need to file a formal invitation Doctor, I’m right here,” she assured me, coming from behind a changing curtain herself.

“Doctor Braver, I think I know how we can bring Justin back- “

“Bring him back?” Braver laughed. “We don’t want him back.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t that why you brought me here?”

“Good heavens no! We want you to train him! Make him like the other patients. You know…obedient.”

“Obedient? But he’s clearly not like the other subjects! He’s- “

“Different? He’s…stronger? Kinder? Oh no I’ve got it, he loves you more than anything in the world, and you know in your heart that he wants to come back to you!” she mocked. “Trust me, Doctor. I’ve heard it all before.”

“You…you knew? You knew he was trying to get to me?”

“Well, not at first. But after your first encounter with him, it became very clear that he still had some of his conscious mind left. He did put up one hell of a fight though.”

“He never scratched me, did he? You did. When I was unconscious.”

“Yes. But we had no choice.”

“No choice? You’re scientists, there’s always another choice- “

“Not this time!”

My head was spinning. How could she have done this? How could I have been so stupid as to let it happen?

“An antidote. Do you have an antidote?” I sneered.

“Of course we do, don’t be stupid. We have an antidote for all our subjects. It’s called a gun.”

She pointed a small handgun at me, and whatever scientists were still in the room had fled.

“This isn’t right Doctor Braver. You know it as well as I do. Plus, what’s a simple bullet to a beast like that?” My voice shook. I raised both of my hands, but didn’t move otherwise.

“The government isn’t paying me to do things right, Doctor O’Dame. They’re paying me and my boss for results! And if you won’t do it, then there are plenty of others just like you who will. And as for the bullet, you’re absolutely right. You see this particular bullet is lined with a poison of my own creation. When our first bullets didn’t work, we had to get a bit more... creative. Like you said, there’s always another way. Now, you have two choices, either get in the cage and make that MONSTER do as we tell it to, or suffer the same fate it does.”

“Fine! I’ll help you.” I said after a minute or two. “But I want in. I won’t put my life on the line without getting something in return.”

“That can be arranged.” She said lowering the weapon.

“I want a gun of my own. For protection.”

She looked me up and down, then called back to the room without breaking eye contact. “Emily! Get Doctor O’Dame a gun.”

I was given a small handgun, loaded without poison bullets. Then we walked back to the steel doored room where Justin was being kept. I tried to memorize every turn we took. Left, right, second hallway, door code 3-3-6-4, right. After a while, the directions got jumbled in my head, and the various codes seemed to morph together. Damn security measures.

This time, Doctor Braver went in with me. We both made our way to the center of the room, and waited for Hyke to make an appearance.

A growl came from the darkness, this time accompanied by the sound of chains. He came through the darkness snarling at Doctor Braver, choke collar secured around his neck. Blood dripped from where the collar was screwed into his skin.

“You chained him up?”

“You might be willing to greet him without precaution, but I’m not. When you had the sensors shut off, I had to resort to different means.”

Hyke let out a deafening bark that reverberated around the room.

“Down doggie. Don’t make this worse than it has to be,” was all Doctor Braver said.

I walked over to Hyke, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry they’re doing this to you,” I whispered. “We’ll figure a way out. I promise.” I looked at Doctor Braver, “He won’t hurt you while I’m here. The chains aren’t needed.”

“My dear, do you think I was born yesterday?” she said with a chuckle. “He’s in shackles because he only listens to you. Take those off, and I lose all the power.”

This was the final straw. I unholstered my gun and aimed it at her, and she did the same with me.

“I don’t want to shoot you Ms. O’Dame. Don’t be- “

“It’s Doctor O’Dame!”

“Either way, don’t be stupid. Put the gun away, and we can forget you ever took it out in the first place.”

Hyke growled at her once again, and shielded me partially with his right paw. Even in this state, all he wanted to do was protect me.

“It’s two against one Doctor Braver. I wouldn’t take my chances.” I threatened from behind him.

“I would.” She let a bullet fly, and so did I.

As if in slow motion, Hyke moved in front of me, pulling against his shackles making the spikes of the collar rip into his throat. Before the poisoned bullet reached me, it entered his ribs instead. He yelped, and blood flowed from his neck, and his side. At this rate, even without the poison, he was losing too much blood to survive. He collapsed onto me, knocking me to the ground and rendering me unable to move.

My bullet on the other hand just grazed the doctor’s shoulder. She turned and winced in pain, clutching her arm. She manically laughed as she turned back to face the two of us.

“We could have been so good together, Doctor O’Dame! Could you imagine what this thing could do? No more war! No more guns or hidden bombs! This creature could have created world peace!” She broadly gestured, as if making an award-winning speech.

“Or started a dog fight where everyone loses.” I grimaced, slowly being crushed by Hyke.

“There will always be winners and losers!” She began walking toward us, “It’s up to us to decide which side of history we’re going to be on.” She crouched down low, so that she and I were face to face. “Too bad neither of you will be there to see it.”

She placed the barrel of the gun to my forehead.

In that instant, Hyke used his last bit of strength to grab Doctor Braver in his jaw and snap her in two. She didn’t even have time to scream, but the sound of her broken bones and shredded muscles rang in our ears.

Hyke tossed her to the side, and laid back down on top of me.

“Justin, I'm so sorry. I thought I could get us out of this. I thought I could save you.” I said through tears. “Maybe I still can.”

I rifled through his fur to find where the bullet pierced his skin. I followed the trail of blood to find the hole, and as carefully as I could, tried to find the lodged bullet. Compared to Hyke’s massive size, my fingers were like tweezers.

When I finally managed to pull the bullet out, I tossed it to the side, but not before it left a lime green residue on my fingers.

“I can reverse engineer a cure. Just…just hold on please!” I screamed to the empty room for help. “I need a doctor! Please! Somebody help him!” But no one came.

Hyke stirred slightly, wincing in pain.

“Harley,” he moaned. “Justin…l-l-love…Harley. Hyke…love…Harley.”

“No. Please. I just got you back. Don’t go.” I said tears streaming down my face.

In my arms, Hyke began to shift and shake. His paws turned back into feet and hands, his fur began to fall off, and his facial features began to look more human. As Hyke convulsed, his massive collar and chains fell to the ground next to him, causing a loud crash of metal on the concrete.

“Hyke? What’s happening?” I said backing away.

Hyke continued to convulse, and he grew smaller and smaller, until he was fully human and a bloody mess on the floor.

I crawled back over to him, and lifted his body onto my lap. I brushed some hair away from his closed eyes, but recognized him still.

“Hyke?...Justin?”

Whoever this was, I was now crying into his chest.

“Hey beautiful,” came a voice that I finally recognized.

“Justin?”

“Yeah,” he assured me in a raspy, pained voice. “It’s me.”

I pulled him close and let out a sigh of relief. He groaned from the pain.

I frantically apologized, then asked “So, you’re going to be okay right? You can come home?”

He looked at me with the kindest eyes, and I knew then that I wouldn’t like the answer to my question.

“Siena,” he wiped a tear from my eye, “you are my home.”

“No. No, it can’t end like this. We can’t end like this! I can’t lose you again! I can help you. I can fix this!”

“Stop. Siena, please…stop.” He kissed me gently, “Siena, you could never truly lose me.” Then, with his dying breath said, “I love you, my beautiful Siena. Forever and always.”

[coeursetcolores]

Alfyn, the Apothecary: Chapter 2

WARNING! Spoilers ahead for Chapter 2 of Alfyn’s story in Octopath Traveler!

Alright! Time to destroy our hopes of making a difference in the world with the harsh reality of the pharmaceutical business!

I swear, if this story kicks the life out of my sunshine boy...

Well, we made it to Goldshore at the right time! There’s a sickness going through town! And our boy Alfyn’s on it!

His first patient is a little girl! Again. Oh well, he’s on the case!

...Well he would be. Seems another apothecary’s here. One with very suspicious sounding voice clips....

Time to leave little Ellen then. Our sweet boy will continue on his way.

And to Ellen’s mother, ma’am! I was just trying to help! And there’s nothing wrong with being scruffy! Geez!

What a simple chapter! Now onward to...

...No one bought that, right?

Yeah, we got plenty more to cover. Especially about possibly one of the most twisted characters in this game; and frighteningly, one you could see in real life.

Let’s talk about Goldshore first. We’ve made it to the retirement town! Beautiful beaches and a district for the wealthy, you can just see millionaires flocking here to spend their last days. The water blends beautifully with the sand pixels, making use of the 2d-3d presentation. The sand looks great too, great job on the layering. I also like detail of the cliffs cutting into the bricks on the steps, it really sells the coastal vibe. And the sparkles simulating the shimmering reflection of the sun tie it all together. The city itself is simple, even in the fancier district. Just content to let the beach take center stage. This does make the church seem out of place, clashes with the tone. Still nice. Though, you’d think a town this fancy would clean up that boat wreck at the shore...

Alfyn continues to be a sweet boy, nothing new on that front. I am glad I got to see him figure out stuff on his own: he observed Vanessa’s behavior and while he believed her at first like everyone else, once he saw her act in a way contrary to how she was at first, he became suspicious and investigated thoroughly. It’s important to balance his kindness with his intelligence.

I like that this chapter doesn’t just demonize wanting money. Sure, more value is placed on love like the moral goes, but money is acknowledged as something necessary to survive. Love and helping others is great, but you need to support yourself while you’re at it. The problem is when you let your desire for money override your conscience.

Of course we end up having to cure a sick little girl after all. Who is poor. And was sick before this. All to show how depraved someone would have to be to not want to treat her. Hopefully her mom will be more grateful now...

Okay. Did not expect Ellen to say that.

The Caves of Azure were actually kind of pretty, especially the boss room. I really liked how the emphasis on blue worked, and how the lighting hit it.

Vanessa Hyzel...is a scarily realistic villain. Seeming to cure illness, only to give the patient a new one...Hiding behind a facade of charity to build believability so there’s less of a fuss when she overcharges...This could and does happen in real life. Scam artists are everywhere. And we don’t have a lot of Alfyns to stop them.

WAIT, SHE EXPERIMENTED ON KITTENS?! SHE’S GOING DOWN!

Of course she’s a summon boss. Well, at least she explains why they’re there!

Dang. That was cold, Alfyn. I underestimated you. I knew we couldn’t let her get away, but I didn’t think he’d drug her. Okay, he’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Yeah, I deserve an apology! Not all scruffy drifters are bad guys, ma’am!

The ending was sweet. It’s nice to have your efforts appreciated, even if you only get seashells from some little girls. But, okay! Getting money in this game is not easy, but I’m not poor! And grown-ups can cry! Everyone has feelings! And you’ll get there Alfyn. You’ll be just like your hero.

Maybe even better.

As for the other’s thoughts on observing a pandemic:

H’aanit: It’s nice she appreciates how good he is with kids. It’s good for work! But she will smile when she feels like it, thank you.

Olberic: It’s nice to see someone whose work is fighting praise someone who works in healing. And I’m glad Alfyn doesn’t criticize Olberic for being someone who’s caused a lot of injuries. They both respect each other and share a determination to hone their crafts. It’s nice.

Cyrus: Dang it, Alfyn! Have some more faith in yourself! You’ll get there! And you’re already doing a good job! ACCEPT THE PRAISE!

Tressa: Way to get our hopes up, Tress. Don’t come at me with that sentimental stuff, we got a party to feed! Okay, I kinda like the mushy, value can’t always be measured in money.

Therion: ...Alfyn, you’re scaring me. How does a conscience get pricked? What does he need to be careful about, Theri? I think he has more of that stuff!

Primrose: You just defended crying, Alfyn. Now you’re trying to look tough in front of Prim. Make up your mind. But yeah, he’d be a great father. One day.

Ophilia: ...’Kay. TMI, don’t need to know about your nervous itching, or where it is, but okay. We’ll keep the praise to a minimum. Even if it’s well-deserved.

Now we go to Saintsbridge!

...I don’t trust that name. Kind of ominous.

But maybe that’s why they need an apothecary?

[catboyebooks]

"chapter 0" is just the one scene so i'll summarize it in just the one post.

it's pretty obvious we're on a boat from the start of the chapter — i mean, the chapter title is "heading to the school trip," there are timber creaking noises, and kamukura's narration opens by describing how the room he's in is rocking violently back and forth. (we aren't told it's kamukura ofc, we don't get a name or face for our narrator, obviously i know who this is though.) kamukura reflects on how the unpredictability of the situation he's in actually feels exciting, although he can predict what's going to happen after they get to their destination and it's going to be boring.

he seems not to register that komaeda is in the room with him until komaeda asks the question about liking boats, and that's when it also becomes clear that kamukura didn't realize they were on a boat until komaeda brought it up. i take it he has been totally zoning out brooding the entire time and has paid zero attention to his surroundings? anyway, komaeda asks if they can chat to pass the time, he's bored of the silence. oh boy! now they can both talk about how bored they are

kamukura's narration comes across rather disdainful as he sizes komaeda up here; he thinks that beneath the "overfamiliar attitude" (he just asked if they could chat..) and the friendly mannerisms, there's something wrong with this guy. the way he describes it is essentially that komaeda has the scent of death on him. he does compare it to a smell and i'm not sure whether to interpret that metaphorically or literally; it kinda reads metaphorical but also sick people do tend to smell off and komaeda has a corpse's hand attached to his left arm.

(sidenote: the fanslation i read made a mistake translating here and made this passage read as though kamukura can sense that komaeda is a liar, not that he's dying. i don't totally blame them for this, they were working off a korean translation that might have made the same error, but it was a recurring pattern in this particular fanslation and contributed to the early Fandom Discourse surrounding komaeda. some people would cite this scene as proof he's a pathological liar, when actually it's confirmation that he was being honest when he told hinata he's terminally ill)

anyway, komaeda doesn't wait for a response, introduces himself, and starts talking about how he's lucky they get to share a room. kamukura is like, oh, you're lucky? that's your talent? boring. komaeda agrees, but points out that it's rather blunt of kamukura to say so, and kamukura reiterates that luck is a boring talent and says he has that one too. at this point komaeda gets quite excited; he asks who kamukura is, saying that he must be from hope's peak too but it's weird that they've never met. why is kamukura here? kamukura doesn't reply at first but then declares this to be boring. komaeda starts apologizing for his conversational skills before kamukura says it's not about him, this entire world is full of boring untalented people, who outnumber, oppress, and fail to acknowledge their talented superiors, seeking instead to drag them down to their level. it's because of "these bastards" that the world has stopped evolving. again, boring.

komaeda responds better than most people would to this speech and says, well, it makes sense that the world would be shaped by the untalented majority, and that's why they're in their current predicament. he then tries to pry a little more and asks if that has anything to do with why kamukura is here. kamukura ignores the question and continues explaining how boring people contribute nothing whatsoever to the world and according to what his teachers taught him in school, "a certain degree of selection must be performed." komaeda's like, oh, they had high expectations for you? not me lol. anyway, what are your plans now that you're in this situation (he doesn't clarify exactly what he's referring to), is there anything you can do? kamukura tells komaeda to listen carefully: using people is also a talent, and he's going to use "that person" just like they used him in the past. komaeda's like, you mean shsl despair? and alludes to how junko is already dead. kamukura tells komaeda that the "contribution" that person left him is in his pocket. komaeda says he doesn't know what hinata's talking about, but it seems like he has a hunch, because he asks if this means he'll get to see her again. the person he hates with every fiber of his being. will he be able to kill her this time? and when he says all this, he stands and we can see that where his left hand ought to be, instead there's junko's.

kamukura's basically like, oh, you hate her? explain what's up with the hand, then. komaeda laughs extensively about this and says it's amazing, of course he's unable to move the hand as it isn't his but even now it still hasn't rotted! maybe it's becoming one with him, and he's successfully fused himself with his sworn enemy, shsl despair. kamukura goes, i see, you salvaged the body. boring of you. komaeda says he doesn't want kamukura to misunderstand, he thinks of junko solely as his enemy, and that's why he took her power, and... halfway through, he seems confused and questions aloud if he does hate her. then he looks out the window and notices they've almost arrived. jabberwock island is coming into view. (there's no recognizable landmarks visible in the view we get from the window.)

komaeda seems excited about their impending arrival and wonders aloud what will happen. kamukura replies that he can already predict what will happen, because he's so talented, but it's not of any concern to him because he won't be able to participate. komaeda expresses disappointment that they'll be parting ways as he thinks they get along well, and he asks if they can see each other again. kamukura says there would be no reason for them to meet again because komaeda is boring. everything about him — his talent, his thoughts, his entire existence — is boring. komaeda is quiet for a second before saying "you really don't play along, do you?" aaand scene

[victorluvsalice]

The hits just keep on coming regarding my Potential Tiny Town Challenge --

-->I figured out what Smiler's money-making skill would be! And it's all thanks to my Chill Valicer Save Alice harvesting the prairie grass in Moory's pen and discovering a bottle of Energy Nectar. Because when I read the in-game description of the nectar, about how it makes Sims both happy and energized for a while, I thought --

"...that kind of sounds like how I've always thought Joy Serum worked?"

Cue me looking up more about nectar in the game, and discovering that not only do all the nectars tend to give really positive moodlets, Potato Nectar apparently makes Sims super happy. Meaning, yeah, Nectar-Making kind of HAS to be Smiler's skill of choice now, right? So that's been settled! (Though I certainly reserve the right to have Smiler try out all the other skills I was thinking of for them -- at the very least, I rather like the idea of them getting into Juice Fizzing and Mixology too and maybe starting a business offering all sorts of different drinks. Something for everyone!)

-->I've also decided that, in the world of the Challenge save, while the rest of Windenburg is built up as normal (and has the "fandom lots" that I mentioned in the previous post, like the Hill Valley Courthouse park and the Ministry of Joy nightclub), nobody ever did anything with the Crumbling Isle. Meaning this Tiny Town challenge is about turning the whole island into a town, not just the big 64x64 lot that normally houses the Villareal household. How do we do that?

Community Space lots! :D Yes, I am taking full advantage of this frankly pretty interesting Eco Lifestyle feature and turning three of the four other lots on the main island (I'm leaving the Bluffs lot off to the side as-is) into Community Spaces so the residents can turn one into a garden, one into a maker space, and one into a marketplace! (The remaining lot will probably be a park of some kind -- we'll see). I feel like doing that will most accurately reflect the island going from a place where people are just starting to settle to a thriving, bustling community. :) And lucky me, I do have a greenhouse already built that I could use for one of them...

-->A couple of additional rules and regulations that I'm putting into place for my version of the challenge:

a. The Tiny Town lot itself has the Lot Challenges Off The Grid, Reduce & Recycle, Simple Living, Creepy Crawlies, Wild Foxes, and Wild Prairie Grass on it, at least to start, to represent that it's, well, on an island that's never been developed. I'm thinking they'll be able to get rid of these as time goes on, though Simple Living and Reduce & Recycle are likely to stick around for a light touch of realism. I'll probably put similar restrictions on the community lots, though probably not as many. We'll see how I feel!

b. Oh, and the lot starts off with a washtub and clothesline on it, because might as well make the Sims deal with laundry too! XD

c. The founder Sim must purchase a Symbolic Boat near the start to be allowed off the island. I am like 99% sure you can't use boats in the waters around Windenburg, but I feel like it's a nice little extra challenge to have to add just a touch of realism. (I will probably also have my Sims regularly use bikes, but that's not a Challenge, that's just me thinking "bikes will be easier for moving around quickly.")

d. Instead of having the starting items for every Sim in place when the lot is first made, I think it might be cute to have the Sim previous "prepare" the next lot for their neighbor. For example, if we started with Smiler, they'd start with their nectar maker and a couple of seed packets, but once they had finished their house, they would then buy the things the next Sim needs (say, if it was Victor, they'd get him a digitalistic sketch pad and an easel, since Victor's thing is painting). Just thought it would be nice and build a sense of community between the Sims. :)

e. This is less a "rule" and more just a fun thing I'd like to do -- set up a holiday celebrating the town's founding on the day that the challenge starts. Not sure what the traditions would be yet, but it just feels appropriate, you know?

Aaaand I should probably think about making a new post the next time I come up with some new ideas, shouldn't I? XD Don't want this one to get too long...but hopefully you have enjoyed the journey through me figuring out a Tiny Town! Perhaps next time I can show you my attempt to build the Tiny Town lot itself...

Sims 4 Wednesday -- Potential Tiny Town Challenge

Hi all! As we're between Chill Valicer Save updates this week, I wanted to talk to you about something I discovered relatively recently and have been thinking about off and on -- The Tiny Town Challenge! I first learned about this challenge through seeing a thumbnail for James Turner's version on YouTube, and, curious, tracked down the original challenge and rules to see what it was all about. You can get the full rule set and take a look at the original lot and Sims Deligracy created at the link above, but the basic gist is that you spend the challenge setting up a tiny town on a large lot (preferably 64x64) for seven Sims. Each Sim has a specific money-making skill that they must use to earn the funds to build their house on their specific sub-lot, and a favorite decor style and color that must inform what their house looks like. Each Sim is moved in individually, once the previous Sim has finished their house, and the challenge ends when all seven houses and any communal area is fully built.

I took one look at that and I was like "yeah, I'm into it." XD Both because it sounds like a fun challenge, and because it's a challenge with minimal set-up (which is the problem with the challenges I personally have come up with previously -- I think they'd be fun, but they require a loooot of prep!). Having thought about it for a bit, I have some ideas about how I'd like to do the challenge myself -- and some problems that I'm going to have to figure out before I can set this up as a potential alternate save file to the Chill Valicer Save:

-->Location: I decided relatively quickly that I'd like to do the challenge in Windenburg, setting up a little community on The Crumbling Isle (something like how Plumbob Paragon set theirs up). I almost never play in Windenburg, so I figured that setting the challenge there would be a good way to encourage me to wander around that world and see the sights. And I already have some ideas about using the other lots to make a true town out of the island -- like turning one lot into a Community Space to get a community garden going, or another lot into a retail store that a couple of the citizens run. Might be fun!

-->Citizenry: Well, you guys know me -- of course the first three residents of the tiny town would be Victor, Alice, and Smiler. However, I'm having trouble deciding on who the other residents of the town could be. The way I see it, I have two options for the rest of the group:

Option One: Add Victoria Everglot and Emily Merrimack and do a "Four Victorians Riding A Roller Coaster" polycule thing on the tiny town lot! This would be fun as it would allow for amusing and adorable polycule shenanigans...but the problem here is the color schemes. Specifically, while Smiler is fine with their primary color being Yellow, Victor, Alice, and Emily ALL suit Blue being their primary color (Victor has his blue butterfly and blue tie -- plus I've always headcanoned it as his favorite color; Alice has her iconic blue dress; and Emily has her blue -- everything), and Alice and Victoria would both suit Red (Alice has that iconic red blood splatter on her apron; Victoria has her red dress). Now, I know how I could fix this for Alice -- make her primary color Green, to match her eyes -- but I'm not sure what to do about Victor and Emily. I mean, when it comes down to it, Emily would have to get Blue, look at her, but the only other alternate colors I can think of for Victor would be Black or Grey, and that would result in a depressing-looking house. :( So yeah, bit of an issue there!

Option Two: Add my young Emmett "Doc" Brown Sim (patterned off his appearance in BTTF: The Game), a fem!Malkavian Fledgling Sim I downloaded off the Gallery (which I'm already planning on calling Mal Kavian), a Preston Garvey Sim, and my take on a Wheatley Sim to the gang and just represent pretty much all my favorite fandoms and games in one go. The bonus here is that I've got the full roster of seven Sims; as stated, I'm representing a bunch of things I enjoy, not just the primary three; and I get a tiny bit of diversity by including a black character as a primary. However, there are also a couple of issues here:

I'm not entirely sure I want to do the challenge with the full compliment of seven Sims, as I have trouble wrangling a mere three sometimes in my Chill Valicer Save. And before you ask, no, I don't have For Rent, so I couldn't turn the lot into a Residental Rental and just play one family at a time. I'd have to really fight with my own micromanaging tendencies to get this to work!

We again have color overlap issues because Victor, Preston, and Wheatley ALSO all suit the color Blue (Victor for the reasons listed above; Preston because the Minutemen have blue as their primary color scheme; and Wheatley because his eye is blue in the game). Now, admittedly, this one is a bit easier to solve -- make Preston's color Light Brown to match his iconic duster (yes, Sims 4 actually distinguishes between Light Brown and Dark Brown -- the only color that gets that distinction in the sort!), and Wheatley's White to match his core's outer shell -- but still. I am apparently obsessed with Blue characters!

Now, I can think of an interesting way to solve this dilemma -- set up two tiny towns on the Crumbling Isle on the two biggest lots, and divide the Sims so there's like five or so on each lot. (Suppose it could be like Victor, Alice, Smiler, Doc, Mal Kavian on one, and Victoria, Emily, Preston, Wheatley on another?) That does mean having to do the challenge twice, and wrangling a lot more Sims, but... *shrug* We'll see how I feel!

-->Skills, Colors, and Decors: As previously stated, all Sims have to have a specific skill that they use to fund the creation of their home, and a favorite color and decor style that should inform the look of said home. Now, the decor thing is kind of a mystery to me (I mix-and-match styles all the time when building, and I don't have Dream Home Decorator to make Sims Like specific types -- though it does occur to me that I could just fudge it by having each house just reflect their canon in some way), but I do have skills and colors almost entirely locked down for almost all of my potential citizens --

Victor: His color would be Blue (probably darker shades of such), and his money-making skill would be either Painting or Piano (though I'm leaning toward Painting because I've always headcanoned him as being more private with his music)

Alice: Her color would be Green, and her money-making skill either Painting or Writing (leaning toward Writing because I like the idea of her writing her own books)

Victoria: Her color would be Red, and her money-making skill would be either Knitting or Cross-Stitch (since we know she likes to sew from seeing her working on her blanket in the movie when Victor climbs onto her balcony)

Emily: Her color would be Blue (brighter shades), and her money-making skill would be either Flower Arranging (for her bouquet) or Gemology (for the wedding ring that starts the whole Corpse Bride mess -- it just amuses me)

Doc: His color would be Orange (as part of the BTTF logo), and his money-making skill would probably be Robotics (since it's the most sciencey-one), though I wouldn't say no to Fabrication

Mal: Her color would be Red (because, you know, vampire), and her money-making skill would be Wellness (because it deeply amuses me to have a vampire from that clan doing yoga and spa stuff)

Preston: His color would be either Blue or Light Brown (as previously stated), and his money-making skill would be either Fabrication (because he's the settlement guy, and Fabrication is a lot like how the workshops work in Fallout 4), Woodworking (the more low-tech version of that), or Archaeology (because he clearly enjoys the past, given you find him hiding in a museum and his coat is apparently looted from another one -- probably have to use a mod to make it available outside Selvadorada, though!)

Wheatley: His color would either be Blue or White (again, as previously stated), and his money-making skill would be Programming (again, because of the hilarity factor -- I mean, Wheatley CAN hack in the game, but we all know just how "good" he is at it XD)

Smiler: Their color would be Yellow, and their money-making skill --

And this is where I run into a problem, because I'm not entirely sure what to do for Smiler. Because my version of Smiler's primary thing is chemistry (or alchemy, depending on the setting), and I'm not entirely sure how to best represent that with the skills on offer. Should I do Mixology, on the basis that I heacanon they are also awesome at mixing drinks? Herbalism because that's kind of close (I have a mod that puts Granite Falls bugs in other worlds, so that's not an issue)? Do I rely on Simsonian Library's Apothecary mod and related skill because that is arguably closer that Herbalism? Or do I just fudge things by choosing Mixology or something before turning them into a spellcaster and having them focus on the Alchemy section of the spellbook? Decisions, decisions...

But yeah -- that's what I currently have in mind for any future Tiny Town-related save files I may make! Not gonna guarantee that this is gonna happen, but it's a distinct possibility. :) And if you guys have any suggestions regarding how I should do the tiny town (and what the fuck Smiler's money-making skill should be), please let me know!

[talkfastromance4]

puppy eyes, baby--poly!cashton oneshot

word count: 4.5k

warnings: mentions of trauma and panic

Enjoy! :)

***

Baby didn’t let up on the whole dog thing. While they meandered the streets of Paris, she’d point out every dog she saw commenting on the cute little bow on a French bulldog. She’d show them tiktoks of dogs doing cute things like barking at their reflection. Ashton would smile and acknowledge what she showed him but Calum’s gaze would linger a little longer by watching  the video at least three times.

She won Cal over first about getting a dog, because he agreed that she’d have a companion when he and Ashton would be out of town. She’d feel a little safer and dogs are a human’s best friend, right? 

They were finishing up their packing after their last show in Mexico when Ashton said he had to talk to Michael about something and left the tour bus. y/n was rolling her new shirts she bought (a majority were bought for her by Ashton and Calum) so there’d be more room to fit in her suitcase when Calum coughed. 

She didn’t think anything of it until he coughed again and she looked up at him, his arm folded across his chest while the other rested in the crook of his elbow. His hand was rubbing at his chin as he sat down on the bed.

“You have your thinking face on,” she says. 

“I’ve been thinking about your proposition for a dog…I think it’s a good idea.”

“You do?!” her mouth gapes open and he sits on the bed.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d feel a lot better knowing you aren’t in the house alone while we’re gone. You’ll have someone to sleep with, you can go on walks together. I think it’s a good idea.”

“Really?” she squeals and hops on his lap, his arms encircling around her waist. 

“Really,” he chuckles and kisses her cheek. “Maybe when we get back home we can go look at the humane society or find people selling puppies.”

“What about Ashton?”

“What about Ashton?” Ashton asks suddenly emerging in the doorway. He looks between y/n and Calum with an inquiring look in his eyes.

“Uhhh…”

“You need to start packing your shit, babe,” Calum smiles and pinches y/n’s waist. “We’re headed to the airport soon.”

“Oh, right,” Ashton’s eyebrows crease together. “I don’t know why I’m so off kilter.”

He moves to his suitcase and pile of clothes and Calum winks at y/n before giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. 

“We’ll convince him,” he whispers, then pats the side of her hip so she gets off his lap and the three of them continue to pack their belongings.

y/n sleeps for most of the flight otherwise she’d be restless and anxious for so many hours. While she drifted in and out of sleep she’d overhear Calum and Ashton talking but she couldn’t decide if it was a real conversation or something her subconscious created. One of them kept swirling in her mind as she dreamed. 

“How do you think it’s gonna go?” Calum asks.

“I’m not sure, I can see it going many ways. Knowing her though, it’ll surprise us as always,” Ashton responds but there’s a certain kind of fondness in his tone. 

“I hope it’s a–not a good surprise, but an all right one, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Ashton sighs loudly. “I keep thinking about it…how many ways it could have been way worse and I’m thankful it wasn’t but I hate that it happened all the same. We should have been there.”

“No one could have predicted this happening, Ash.”

“Has she said anything to you about it at all?”

“No. And I don’t want to ask her in case it sets her off like in the hotel room… I hated seeing her like that.”

“I did, too. You handled it pretty well though.”

“I just did what you do,” Calum chuckles. “The breathing thing really works.”

“Yeah, it helps to center her, but you center her as well.”

“Is it weird that I’m nervous to go home?”

“No, because I’m in the same boat. We’ll all take it in stride together, moment by moment.”

***

y/n was feeling a blend of emotions the whole drive back to their home. She was excited to be back in her own bed with her two guys, but she also hasn’t been back since the break-in happened. Was everything still in a disarray? Was the window fixed? 

She’s nibbling on her lip as the driver pulls through the gate and follows the curve of the road, her fingers are twisting together in her lap watching the houses go by. The car in front of them turns left, Michael’s the first one to be dropped off. Ten more minutes and they’ll be home. 

Ashton takes hold of her wriggling fingers between his own and rests his chin on her shoulder. 

“We’ll all go in together, nothing’s going to harm you. The security system is fixed and the windows are fixed, okay?”

y/n nods and squeezes his fingers and then before she knows it, they’re pulling into the driveway. It does look the same but then she remembers how the red and blue lights flashed purple in the night as she spoke with the police. She blinks the memory away and is met by the sunlight because Calum opened his door. He holds his hand to her. 

“Take my hand, baby,” he says softly. 

She takes it just as Ashton lets go of hers, a perfectly timed exchange of safety. Ashton is telling the driver to remove the bags and leave them by the door then he takes her other hand and the three of them walk towards the front door. 

It smells the same, with a bit of a lingering staleness because it’s been vacant for so long. y/n looks around and sees everything is back to how it was but her eyes move to the space by the back sliding door where the intruders broke into. Ashton blocks her vision by moving in front of her, his hands caress her cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” he asks gently just as Calum rubs circles on the back of her hand.

“I think so,” she responds. 

“Would it help if you saw that the window is intact?”

“Ash, I don’t think–”

“Okay,” she interrupts Calum and follows Ashton to the sliding door. He takes her hand and Calum stays back watching them with careful eyes. 

They bend down, Ashton moves her hand with his over the window pane to touch the glass and adds a bit of pressure to show it doesn’t give way. She feels relief but then she sees the flashlights from the police shining through the brokenness and on the shards that were on the floor. 

Baby removes her hand as if she touched a hot iron and scrambles off the floor, but her feet get tangled and she trips a little before falling into Calum’s arms. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, baby,” Calum mumbles in her hair. 

She squeezes the fabric of his shirt in her fingers, her eyes closed tight but she can’t keep the images away. Newer images resurface of her falling out of the bed and crawling to the closet. Then she went back out to get her phone. Her heart hammered in her chest then and it does now.

“y/n.”

“NO!!” she shouts and pushes Calum away then bumps into Ashton and she jumps away from him. She presses the heels of her hands in her eyes as another memory comes through. “They called for me. Said my name.”

“The people who broke in?” Calum asks cautiously.

“Yes,” she sniffles and her cheeks are wet. She tries to dry them with the back of her hands. Calum and Ashton are an equal distance from her. “I heard them downstairs…coming closer and calling for me. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Then what happened?” 

“I heard something else break and then the alarm went off again…louder than before. And then I heard sirens and…” she closes her eyes remembering. Two police officers opened the closet door, their flashlights are so bright and their guns were out–”

“Their WHAT?” Calum roars and Ashton presses his hand on his chest holding him back. 

“They were clearing the area, it was protocol–”

“Protocol my ass! They shouldn’t have had their gun pointed at my girlfriend!”

“Our girlfriend,” Ashton corrects quietly. They stare each other down. 

“You know that’s what I meant,” Calum’s chest is heaving.

“Please don’t fight,” y/n begs and she’s crying again. “I’m tired and I want to take a nap but I don’t want to be alone.” 

“You’re right,” Ashton averted his gaze from Calum and tousled his hair. “I’ll bring in our things, you two head upstairs. I’ll be there soon.” 

Ashton and Calum exchange one more look, Ashton kisses y/n’s forehead. Calum grabs y/n’s hand yet again and leads her upstairs. She kicks off her shoes, removes her shorts and crawls in the center of their bed. Calum drapes her favorite blanket over her legs then lays next to her.

“All right?” he asks, settling his arms around her.

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I don’t want to sleep until Ash is with us.” 

“‘Course, baby,” Calum leaves three kisses on her shoulder. 

When Ashton arrives, he meets y/n’s eyes and kicks off his own shoes and pants. He lays on his back next to her but the distance is apparent. y/n scoots over so she rests her head on his shoulder and drops her leg over his. Calum moves with her so he’s still spooning her from behind. 

“Are you sure you want to sleep? You slept a long time on the plane,” Ashton says resting his hand over hers that’s on the center of his chest. She can feel his heart beating beneath his shirt. 

“I haven’t slept in our bed with you two in so long and I haven’t been sleeping that well anyway. I want to sleep. Please.” 

“Okay, baby,” Ashton nods.

She closes her eyes trying to relax her limbs and muscles. 

“Can you hum or sing?” she asks. 

On cue, Ashton and Calum start humming her favorite song. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, focusing on her breathing and the way Ashton feels under her cheek and Calum’s breath in the middle of her back. 

***

They’ve been home a few days and jet lag is still creeping on them like a shadow but when y/n falls asleep, she’s restful and has a dreamless night. She notices Calum and Ashton are very terse with each other and don’t stay in the same room for longer than necessary. 

On the fourth day home she’s had enough of the silence at the dinner table and slams her fork and knife on the wood. Calum and Ashton look up in alarm, their eyes wide.

“Can you two please talk and resolve this issue?” 

“We don’t have an issue,” Calum says.

“Oh please,” she rolls her eyes. “Ever since Cal made that comment about the ‘my girlfriend’ thing you two haven’t spoken. I want to fix it but I don’t know how because I don’t know if it’s something I’ve done or–”

“You haven’t done anything,” Ashton shakes his head.

“Then please fix this, I hate feeling this tension all the time,” she rubs at her temples.

Calum rests his knife and fork gently on his place and looks at Ashton. Ashton stares back with a slight eyebrow raise.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean anything by it because y/n is our girlfriend.”

“Then why did you say it?” Ashton asks.

“I dunno,” Calum shrugs and hugs himself. “When we were told what happened you handled everything so well and I was freaking out. You always handle everything perfectly and when it comes to y/n I…” he shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. He glances at y/n. “I get really protective. Seeing you react the way you did about the window…I didn’t like it and I snapped.”

“You really think I handle everything perfectly?”

“Well, yeah. You made sure the plane ticket was bought, you always know how to calm us down.”

“That’s just me going through the motions Cal,” Ashton tosses his napkin over his plate and leans back into his chair with a heavy sigh. “It’s in my nature to take control of a situation but every day–every damn day I hate how I couldn’t have been here and controlled the situation as it happened.”

He shoves himself away from the table so roughly his chair topples over, Calum and y/n jump at the sudden movement. Ashton starts to pace, his fists clenching and unclenching, then he cracks his knuckles. 

“I hate how we both weren’t here, I hate that it happened in the first place and I hate how I don’t know why it happened. Why would they break in when we were out of the country? And why were they calling for y/n? Then my mind wanders to things that could have…” he sucks in a breath and shakes his head. “I’m trying to keep it together for the both of you but my head is a warzone.” 

y/n stands up first after Ashton’s small monologue, she touches his arm carefully then his cheek. When his eyes meet hers he finally collapses into her, hot tears falling onto her neck. She holds him tightly, combing her fingers through his hair and rubbing his back. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers, feeling her own tears sting her eyes. “I’m sorry you’re thinking these things.”

“We could have lost–” he chokes on his words.

“Don’t think of that,” Calum says, making his way over to them. He wraps an arm around Ashton’s shoulders ducking his head to his ear. “I know your brain wants to spiral but that’s what I’m good at, getting you out of this spiral. I make sure you put yourself first after you take care of others and that means me and y/n.”

“Mhm,” y/n hums in agreement, she continues to stroke his hair. 

“I’m the one who helps you set your focus on what’s in front of you, not the hypotheticals. And right now, me and y/n are here, and you’re here, and we’re all together. We’re all safe.”

Ashton’s arms tighten around the both of them, crushing them to his body as if holding them close would protect them from any type of harm. He repeats Calum’s words in his mind, he pinpoints Calum’s lips on the back of his neck and y/n’s fingers massaging his scalp and he uses their point of contact as his own anchor. 

Calum and y/n always tell him how he’s their anchor but really, they’re his. Whenever he’s feeling overwhelmed from his own intrusive thoughts he’ll somehow pull himself away and just watch them. He loves watching them be with each other, talking softly, smiling and laughing. They’re his safe harbor and when he found out his harbor was attacked it completely altered him. 

Ashton sniffs a few times and picks his head up from y/n’s neck. Calum and y/n’s fingers dry away his tears and y/n’s the first one to kiss his lips. 

“I love you so much,” her lips move over his.

“I love you,” he responds, giving her one more kiss then turns to Calum. “I love you.”

Calum grasps the back of Ashton’s neck to bring him closer for a hard kiss, Ashton can feel the emotions through it.

“I love you.”

“This stupid break-in really fucked with us, huh?” y/n chuckles through a sniffle. 

“It’s making us stronger together,” Calum says.

***

y/n and Calum slowly kept bringing up the subject of getting a dog. There were more dog memes shared in their group chat, more tiktok videos, more Instagram reels. And whenever they were over at Michael’s or Luke’s, y/n would be with their dogs and give Ashton the biggest puppy eyes. 

“Look at these sweet eyes and her tiny soft ears,” y/n would say in a sweet baby voice when she’d be on the floor next to Petunia. “She’s such a pretty girl, Ash.”

“Those puppy eyes don’t work on me, baby. Yours or Petunia’s,” Ashton laughs. 

On another occasion, Calum was holding Southy and walked up to Ashton. Southy started to lick at Ashton’s ear, his tail wagging against Calum’s body. 

“He’s giving you kisses!” y/n exclaims.

“You two are plotting against me, aren’t you?” Ashton asks, craning his head away but Southy’s tongue slips in Ashton’s ear and he yelps. 

“It took you that long to figure it out?” Calum grins at him. 

“Figure out what?” Michael asks.

“Me and baby are convincing Ash to get a dog,” Calum responds.

“You’re getting a dog? That’s awesome! From the shelter or a breeder? Crystal and I know great suggestions for both, what kind do you want?” Michael’s full of excitement at the mention of more dogs.

“See! Michael agrees we should get a dog!” y/n yells holding Moose in her own arms. “And I know you love Moosemoose.” 

She hands Moose off into Ashton’s arms and he cradles her gently against his body and like a child, Moos rests her chin on Ashton’s shoulder. He groans because Moose is the sweetest dog ever. 

“You’re killin’ me,” he groans and turns away from his loves.

***

Ashton slides open the back door after his hour long meditation chugging from his water bottle and finds Calum and y/n lounging on the couch watching more dog videos on tiktok. Ashton rolls his eyes but sits in front of them.

“Okay,” he says.

Calum pauses the video.

“Okay what?” He asks.

“Okay we can get a dog.”

“What! Are you serious?!” y/n squeals.

“Yes,” Ashton smiles easily. “While I was meditating I was thinking about it and I’d feel a little better knowing that while Cal and I are gone you aren’t alone.”

“Yay!” y/n lunges onto his lap wrapping her arms around him. He’s laughing as he hugs her back.

“I’ll take a shower and we can start looking online–”

“No need, baby,” Calum says. “y/n and I have already saved our favorites from shelters in the area.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Ashton laughs. “Let me shower first and you can show me all the doggos you want.” 

y/n chittered behind him already describing some of the dogs she and Cal have found. Calum follows behind bringing up the pictures so he’s ready to show Ashton. y/n continues talking while Ashton is in the shower about how they need to get toys and a collar and nice food and water bowls. Ashton listens patiently when he steps out dripping wet and continues to be patient as they trail behind him into the closet so he can change into clothes. 

“This one, Patsy, she’s a boxer pitbull mix but she looks so sweet,” y/n says folding herself on their bed. “Show him, Cal.”

Calum pulls up the dog and shows Ashton.

“She is very cute, and she’s already potty trained so that’s nice.”

“Can we go look around at dogs now?” y/n asks excitedly.

“Let’s wait until the weekend and we can get supplies,” Calum laughs. 

***

Ashton surprised them Friday morning by pulling into the parking lot of one of the animal shelters. There was a sign outside with balloons stating it was adoption day. y/n stared at him with her mouth open.

“We’re getting a dog today?” she asks.

“We’re getting a dog today,” Ashton affirms and kisses her cheek. “C’mon toots.” 

There’s tons of people walking around and the dogs are in pens with their tails wagging at the hands petting them. There’s families, couples, and even some single people surveying the animals. 

“I don’t even know where to start,” Calum says, staring at all the four legged animals. 

“Lead the way baby,” Ashton gestures to y/n. She smiles at him and moves to the first pen. 

They’re older dogs but the sign has said they’re all adopted already. All the dogs she interacts with turns out to be called for already which is good because they’ll have a home but it makes her sad because she thinks they won’t find a dog today.

“We’ll find one, don’t worry,” Ashton rubs her back. “We didn’t look over here by the puppies.”

“You want a puppy? Who are you and what have you done with Ashton?” Calum teases grinning. 

“Shut up,” Ashton ruffles his hair. 

“Oh my God,” y/n sighs and lifts her leg over a pen. She sits on the grass and is suddenly surrounded by rottweiler puppies.

“Oh shit they are so cute,” Calum mumbles and hops into the pen with her. “Hi guys…”

“Hi sweet babies,” y/n coos holding her hand out to the ones that are squeaking. 

Ashton kneels down resting his arms on the side of the pen watching the little loafs of puppies waddling around y/n and Calum’s knees. One waddles up to Ashton’s finger that’s hanging down and gives him a tentative lick.

“Hey buddy,” Ashton smiles and pokes his brown nose. “Which one do you like, baby?”

“Oh this one, she crawled right into my lap,” y/n croons cradling a puppy in her arms. “Hi sweet baby, you’re so cute.” y/n kisses the top of the puppy’s head. 

“She is adorable,” Calum smiles reaching over and places his fingers in front of the puppy’s nose. She sniffs at his fingers, gives him a lick and nibbles on him. “Ouch! Oh yeah, she’s your dog because she’s a biter like you.”

“Hey!” y/n laughs and moves the puppy’s mouth away from Calum’s fingers. “No eating papa’s fingers.”

Ashton and Calum exchange an amused look because she called Calum papa and it reminded them of the time they thought y/n was pregnant. They decided Calum would be called papa and Ashton would be daddy. 

“Guess papa can work for puppies, too,” Ashton says. “I’ll go find someone to get this started.” 

While Ashton is talking with one of the volunteers, y/n has her puppy in her arms. Calum keeps kissing the puppy’s nose. 

“Do we have a name for this sweet girl?” the volunteer asks.

“That’s up to you, baby,” Ashton tells y/n.

“Hmm…her name is Daisy.”

Daisy sneezes twice on y/n’s shoulder and they all laugh. 

“I think Daisy likes that,” Calum laughs. 

The three of them fill out the paperwork and Calum fetches one of the blankets from the pen so the puppy would feel safe with the scent of her brothers and sisters in the car. y/n sits in the back with Daisy in her lap and she pets the top of her head murmuring lovingly to her. Calum and Ashton smile at each other while they overhear her.

Once they’re home, they let Daisy explore in the backyard and she goes to the bathroom which they praise her for. Ashton sets up her bed in a cardboard box right in the living room and makes sure her food and water bowl are set up in the kitchen. When he comes back outside Calum and y/n are taking a ton of photos of Daisy who is now exploring in Ashton’s flower beds. 

“She better not be wrecking them,” Ashton says.

“She won’t. She’s by the daisies, look!” y/n points excitedly. 

“Guess you did choose the perfect name, baby,” Calum kisses her cheek.

Later that night y/n is awoken to soft cries from downstairs. Calum is breathing deeply next to her and Ashton is snoring softly on her other side, clearly they won’t be waking up soon so she squirms out of the bed and from between them. She moves quietly in the living room.

“Hey Daisy girl,” she hushes peering into the box. Daisy’s sitting and tilts her head back so she can let out a shrill howl. “C’mere, daddy said no sleeping in the bed but he said nothing about the couch.”

When Calum and Ashton wake up the next morning their hands meet in the middle where y/n is supposed to be. They look to the bathroom but the door is open and the lights are off. One look at one another and they’re scrambling out of bed. Ashton gets tangled in the sheets and falls to the floor but continues hot on Calum’s heels in search of y/n. They’re shouting her name then see her on the couch with Daisy on her chest, both of them fast asleep.

“Shit,” Calum gasps, clutching his chest. y/n stirs awake and smiles up at them.

“Have you been down here all night?” Ashton asks.

“Yeah, Daisy was crying and you said no to her sleeping on the bed so I stayed with her down here. She didn’t cry all night,” she smiles proudly at the puppy and pets her head. 

“Let me take her outside for a morning potty,” Calum picks Daisy up, she squeaks and nestles in his neck. “Hi puppy. You scared us half to death, baby.”

y/n sits up and stretches watching Cal go outside then looks to Ashton in confusion. 

“I scared you?”

“You weren’t in bed with us and we thought…” he sighs and sits down on the couch next to her.

“You thought something happened,” she finishes for him. “I’m sorry. I was the only one who woke up when she cried and she was all alone down here…” she pouts at Ashton and he smiles. 

“We already got the dog, you don’t need to use the puppy eyes on me anymore.”

“These are just my eyes,” she says innocently and rests her chin on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I scared you.” 

“It’s okay,” he kisses her forehead. 

***

Calum and y/n are obsessed with Daisy and day by day, Ashton slowly warms up to her. But Daisy likes taking his slippers and thinks his drumsticks are sticks for her to play with.

It isn’t until they’re all outside on a sunny day that Ashton flips a switch. Calum and y/n are putting out the new lounge cushions they bought and Ashton is laying in the sun on his yoga mat when he feels tiny paws on his back. She starts to nibble at his hair and he yelps at the tickling sensation. He rolls over and plops her on his chest but she inches her way up so she can lick his face. 

“Help! I’m being attacked!”  he giggles but doesn’t pull her off him. 

“I think she loves you,” baby laughs watching the scene.

“I guess we can be friends,” Ashton continues to giggle and rubs at Daisy’s belly. Cal and y/n watch them lovingly and then Ashton rolls over and runs around the yard with Daisy hobbling after him. 

Daisy was the perfect addition to their household.

Taglist: @calumance @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildfl0werrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower @mymindwide @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @hellasblessed @gwynethhberdara @in-a-world-of-fandoms

[pardy-dardy]

some thoughts on Kris

DELTARUNE SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT CAUGHT UP YET!!!

TLDR: Kris is a lonely second-child who has lived in the shadow of their brother their entire life, causing them to act out on occasion to get attention. They somehow gain the power to create the Dark Worlds (which allows them to become as important and loved as they feel they should be), alongside the curse of us, the “Player,” which can influence their decision-making to a certain extent.

    Depending on how you, the “Player”, choose to proceed, you are either working against Kris’ natural inclination toward mischief and cold-heartedness (pacifist), or working with and actively feeding it (genocide thru the manipulation of others).

        It’s not hard to see that Kris has some problems. When playing thru Deltarune, it’s told to us that Kris is known to pull some pretty mean-spirited pranks on folks (eggnog/mayonnaise swap, for instance). Some of the dialogue options given to us are mean as shit as well, and I have a feeling that if the “Player” wasn’t there to push them toward better choices, they’d be meaner than Susie, easily. Also, they carry a fucking knife with them everywhere, and Chapter straight up starts out with a fake-out slasher scene. C’mon now.

    But they’re not all evil! After all, they’re shown to deeply care for their brother (going as far as googling when Asriel will be home on summer break), as they seem to be one of the few people in their life who treated them like someone normal. I would not doubt it being the situation that Kris was given the “oh, you’re Asriel’s sibling, right?” treatment all their life.

    They love Asriel so much that I’d bet you Ralsei is a manifestation of the goodness he impressed upon them. After all, Ralsei mysteriously isn’t affected by the same worldly rules as other Darkners (with the turning to stone thing), and physically appears just like the Boss Monsters we know from Undertale. Ralsei is always pushing Kris toward the path of light if he can, and I’d say that’s a reflection of the love they have for their absent brother.

    In light of their parents’ messy-sounding divorce, a town full of people entirely physically unlike them (right up to the fact that they cannot use magic while everyone else seems to be able to), a natural difficulty making friends, and a massive hole in their heart where Asriel used to be, Kris has become a bitter, cold teen who finds themself lapsing into their own imagination just to escape their melancholy reality.

    Somehow, this imagination turns into real, tangible power. Kris finds out one day that the worlds they create are just as real as anything else, and that they can be brought into existence anywhere they please, so long as they strike the earth with their knife. In these worlds, Kris is able to live the ultimate escapist fantasy-- they are the one true protagonist, the unequivocal hero of every story they would ever want to tell (no matter how nasty their actions during said story). They are important, they are at the center of it all, and they will save every world they create without fail.

    And you know what? Everyone else who is able to be pulled into Kris’ Dark Worlds agrees! Being a hero and saving a crazy, wacky world is far better than the bitter realities they live with. Berdly says it, Noelle says it, Susie says it-- and though Kris doesn’t appear to say anything, it’s pretty apparent that they agree (dialogue options point toward Kris being in the same boat). The only person who doesn’t agree at all is Ralsei, and that’s because he understand something more about the nature of the Dark Worlds than we, the “Players”, do (but perhaps not Kris).

    But by the end of Chapter 2, we are given in-game confirmation that it’s Kris who is making the fountains. Why would they do this, given that there’s a good chance they know everything Ralsei seems to know?

    It’s as I said-- Kris wants to make their fantasy real, however twisted that might be. They get the attention they feel they deserve, and as we play through the story, Kris also realizes that they can make friends that way, too. It becomes the strongest social tool they have, to a point where if you go Pacifist, you even befriend BERDLY of all people. And, as icing on the cake, everyone agrees with Kris that the Dark Worlds are a better alternative to the real world. They are going to continue the cycle as both creator and savior at the very least, so that every day can scratch that psychological/emotional itch for them.

    Even if you go the new Genocide Path, the “Player” validates and feeds the nastier part of Kris’ nature. It, again, makes sense that Kris would want to floor the world in Darkness. They can continue to act out their nasty fantasies, hurting who they please and turning worlds to ruin because in the end, they will be the master of the world.

    And when they forcefully rip us from their body, Kris is reminding us of who is ultimately in control. No matter what we do, what direction we help push Kris toward, it all feeds into their end goal. 

In the Pacifist route, it can be interpreted as something they have to do, something they do in opposition to the “Player” so that they can keep feeling important. Hence why they let us back into their body once they’ve done the deed, instead of leaving us out to dry.

In the Genocide route, it can be interpreted as them asserting dominance over us, since we clearly also want more worlds to decimate. Even though we’re willing to aid them in their plan, they want us to know, again, who ultimately decides what happens. Again, they let us back into their body once they’re done (and can make sure that there’s no risk of interference) to show that we’re in on it together, but that they see us as a variable they can’t fully trust.

God, this story is getting so fucking interesting. Toby Fox you god damn fuck head let me pay you for these chapters already bastard dog

[crowsmybeloveds]

Shadow and Bone Series: Chapter Six

Bag of Bones

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: Y/N opens up more to Jesper about her past with Pekka Rollins, which has some unforeseen consequences.

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: Past (physical, emotional, sexual) abuse; Drug use; canon typical violence; roofies; Pekka Rollins; the Menagerie

A/N: dear lord there is so much going on in this one idk where to start... but thank you guys again for reading ❤️❤️❤️ also I think there’s one more chapter before the rewrite but don’t quote me on that

Masterlist

When Y/N and Inej arrived at the Slat (after getting muffins, of course), Kaz was there waiting.

“It went well, I suppose?” Kaz looked at them expectantly.

Inej spoke up quickly, “You didn’t tell me she was going to kill him, Kaz.”

Kaz made eye contact with her, and spoke to Y/N. “So, you did it?”

“Of course,” Y/N replied, “I left the other alive. He’ll make sure the message is sent.”

“Good,” Kaz nodded, before pointing upstairs, “Go find Jesper, he’s been annoying me all evening about when you might come back.”

Y/N said no more, going up the stairs to Jesper’s room. When she reached the door, she could feel the nervous energy coming from inside. His light was on, and she could hear a light tapping sound. She knocked on the door.

“Jesper?” She called as she cracked the door open. He was sitting on his cot, anxiously bouncing his foot and fiddling with his pearl-handled revolvers.

He looked up at her, noticeably relaxing when he realized she was okay. He got up and walked over to her, his hands on her shoulders, giving her a once over. He noticed blood on her face, arms, and the back of her head from her brief fight with the man she had left unconscious.

“Oh, darling, what did they do to you?” His voice was sad, worried.

“You should see the other guy,” She joked, a desperate attempt to make him smile. It didn’t work.

“Kaz said you shouldn’t get hurt on this job,” he shook his head. “And it would be ridiculous to worry.”

Y/N shrugged. “I went in too early. It’s my fault.”

“Why would you do that?”

She bit her tongue. Because that man said he took pleasure in conning you, so I took pleasure in killing him. “Rookie mistake, I guess.”

“Okay,” he responded, nodding his head excessively, trying to think through what to do next. Suddenly, he pushed her toward his cot and then moved toward the door. “Um, you sit your pretty self here, and I’m going to go get some bandages.”

Y/N frowned. “You don’t have to —“

He narrowed his eyes on her. “Don’t fight me on this. Stay there.” He brought two fingers to his eyes to make an ‘I’m watching you’ signal, and then he was out the door.

When he came back, he had a few bottles and enough bandages to fix up every member of the Dregs.

“I never took you for a medik, country boy.” She laughed as he sat down next to her.

He shook his head with a small smile. I’d be anything you needed me to be, Y/N. “Let me see your arm.” He lifted up her hand so he could see the back of her upper arm, which was bloody and red. “Saints, what happened?”

“Oh, I killed one of them, as you do,” She took a large breath. His worried eyes and gentle touch made the air heavy enough that she felt like gasping. “And the other one got mad. Pushed me into a brick wall.”

He looked back at her face, jaw clenching. His seriousness made her nervous. Normally, he had a joke even in situations that really didn’t call for one. Now he was way too serious for the situation at hand. What was going on?

He was trying to clear his thoughts, but it was difficult. Even the slightest injury on her made him want to go ballistic, even if she had proved that she could handle herself. Jesper had always loved risk and danger, but he never wanted it to involve her.

Y/N noticed, and it made guilt fill her stomach. She could practically see his mind spinning at a mile a minute, and not in the way it normally did. Normally, the two would be sending jokes back and forth at record speed, now it was still and silent. Both of them felt uneasy and tense.

“Hey,” she placed her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her, “I’m okay. Relax.”

He nodded, turning back to her arm and picking up a bottle. “Right. I know. I just don’t like this.” He covered a rag in the liquid and moved it toward her arm. “This is going to sting.”

She hissed as he placed it on the wound. He worked quickly, bandaging her arm and moving to work on the back of her head. This one hurt much more, and tears sprung in her eyes as he worked. He was pulling a piece of rubble from the bricks out of her hair when he heard her whimper.

He flinched at the sound, placing a kiss to the top of her head. “Sorry, petal. I have to keep going.”

He finished with her hair and moved to clean the blood off of her face. They both knew that she could handle doing so on her own, but they didn’t say anything. She got lost in his gray eyes as he worked, and he looked more focused than he ever had in the time she knew him.

When he finished he sat down next to her on the cot, taking a deep breath. “Done.”

She noticed his hands twitching again and placed her hand in his, letting him play with her fingers to relieve his anxiety. He rested his head against the wall, closing his eyes as he breathed heavily, trying to regain his normal pattern. Y/N frowned at him, concerned.

“I’m sorry I made you so worried, Jes.”

“It’s not your fault,” He replied, sighing. “It just makes me nervous when you have to use your Grisha abilities in public. I know it’s dangerous for us out there.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Us?”

“Forget it.”

“No, Jesper, why aren’t you safe? What’s wrong?” Y/N sat up straighter, panicking.

Jesper swallowed. As much as he knew he should lie, he didn’t want to. He trusted her.

But he was worried about how she would react. He knew she wouldn’t have any prejudice against Grisha, seeing as she was one, but his past was always telling him to be ashamed. In all honesty, his powers had always terrified him, ever since he’d been told not to use them. It wasn’t just the strength that he carried when compared to his father, it was the idea that he should be doing something different, or be someone different. Maybe he was meant to be a soldier, like so many of the Grisha around him. What was he doing there, then? Disappointing people and playing card games? He had been hiding his powers from most of the people he knew for so long. Why say something now?

Despite all his anxieties, he told her. “I’m Grisha.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “No.”

He looked back at her. “Yes.”

She sat up straight and smiled. “No way!” She shoved him playfully. “What kind?”

“A Durast.” He replied, feeling less anxious.

“Saints, we are both Fabrikators!” Y/N grabbed him by his shoulders. “That’s sick!”

He smiled back at her, but it was a small one. Even if she approved of him, it didn’t mean she should. He wanted to say that he was like her, able to use his powers despite not going to the Little Palace. Instead, he was just a confused boy who could barely bend a piece of metal.

“I’m not,” He shook his head, thinking, “I can’t really do much of anything.”

“That’s okay. I didn’t really want to learn either.” She told him, leaning forward to force him to look in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“My dad didn’t want me using my powers,” Jesper spoke, feeling as if his throat was closing in. “My mom, um, she— my mom was,” He couldn’t get the words out and tears were filling his eyes.

“You don’t have to, I get it.” She interrupted, realizing it was a tough topic for him to talk about.

They sat back against the wall, Y/N holding onto Jespers arm and leaning her head on his shoulder. He thought she was too focused on playing with his rings to see the way he was looking down at her. His being a Grisha was something that had messed with him his whole life, but she had been able to calm him down about it in less than thirty minutes. It is getting harder every minute to keep myself from loving her.

Y/N was trying not to focus on the crush that she had on him. She still hadn’t forgotten the date he had gone on not long ago. She didn’t think that he wanted her. He had no reason to. So, she messed around with his rings, pretending she was more interested in the gems on them than the fact that she could feel his eyes on her. Eventually it stopped working, and it became overwhelming.

She sat up quickly and he held himself back from cringing at the loss. “What if we went and got some food, country boy?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“And?”

Saints, I fucking love her. “They have really good sandwiches at this one place in Little Ravka.”

“Perfect.”

An hour later they sat at a small metal table outside a restaurant in Little Ravka, watching the small boats go through the canal.

“Ok, love, how’s the sandwich?” Jesper asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“It’s really good.”

“Just really good, huh?” He teased. “Not the best sandwich you’ve ever had?”

She shook her head. “No, it is.”

“Liar.”

She looked up at him, rolling her eyes. “It’s good, Jesper. An amazing recommendation! You are truly the best sandwich connoisseur in all of Kerch! Need I praise you further?”

“Maybe just one more?” He smirked, picking his sandwich up again.

“Fuck off.”

They continued to joke as they ate their sandwiches. The anxiety of the night finally started to shed off of them as they enjoyed their meals. It was moments like these where they both felt so content with each other’s presence that their minds couldn’t find a way to ruin it. There wasn’t any dread or feeling that one wasn’t good enough for the other. Just longing glances and stupid jokes. A pair of crushing idiots.

As they walked along the canal on their route home, the sun was rising, and Jesper found himself more focused on the light reflecting on Y/N’s hair than the conversation they were having.

“...I wanted to be one so much.” She sighed, looking at the water. “It would be so much cooler to drown people to death than to drug them. Maybe that’s just me.”

Jesper tried to put together a response from the bits and pieces of her story that he had caught. “I can’t see you as a Tidemaker, although I’d imagine you’d still be your gorgeous self.”

She looked away to make sure he didn’t see the flustered look on her face from his flirting. Saints, does he ever stop? “Or, and I know it’s childish, but I bet, if I was a Squaller, I could figure out how to fly.”

He laughed. “I don’t think anyone has.”

“Well, I’m not just anyone.” She replied with a fake tone of anger in her voice.

His eyes lingered on her face. “No, I suppose you’re not.”

She tried to pretend she didn’t notice, but his flirting was becoming unbearable. How was this the same man who abandoned her for a date less than a week ago?

“Could you imagine if I could fly, though?” She tried to distract herself from her anxiety over him by ranting, as she usually did. “I could get such a good view of everything, and I’m sure Kaz would find a use for it. I could go anywhere, no fees or anything. Who is going to put a toll on the sky?”

Jesper smiled at her. He loved the way she looked when she ranted about something she was passionate about, even if they both knew it was stupid. He didn’t really care. He just wanted her to be happy. Saints, there was a heavy gold music machine in the Slat to prove it.

She kept going, pointing up at the sky to a bird overhead. “I’d be like a bird, just how they always called me.”

Y/N hadn’t meant to dampen the mood with what she had said, but Jesper stiffened at her words anyway. She had been referring to the men at the Emerald Palace. Specifically, Pekka Rollins, who called her a canary. Jesper remembered his words when Inej had first told him about the title. Of course Pekka would give her a creepy nickname. At the time, it had seemed like a joke. Now, seeing how every single aspect of that place had affected her in one way or the other made him feel sick to his stomach. He’d sell his revolvers and never play a hand of cards again if it meant he could go back in time and save her from her past.

“Why did he call you that?” He blurted, not even thinking.

She tilted her head. “Canary?”

A silence washed over them. Panic raised in Jesper’s throat like bile. “I shouldn’t have asked you that. You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry.”

She shushed him. “No, no. It’s fine. It was weird.” She gulped and grabbed his hand, fiddling with his rings as they walked. “Warrants a question or two I think.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, concern in his eyes.

She nodded. “He called me that because I was his song bird. He’d tell me what to do and say I’d repeat it without a second thought. He gave me a song and I sang it.” She sighed, looking out at the water, feeling nervous. It’s just Jesper. He’s not going to treat you any different. “It’s pathetic, but I thought it was like a pet name, you know? Like, he told me he loved me and I was fucking grasping for it. Embarrassing.”

She tried to play it off like it was a joke. One of those stories that was a little bit embarrassing but you knew you’d laugh about it in the future. They both had a habit of reducing things down into something from a comedy, even when it should be a tragedy. When it should be something that would land them in a mental institution for the rest of their days. But because they both used humor as a way to deflect, they saw through each other’s bullshit like it was a piece of glass.

He knew the things she spoke about were hurting her, but she didn’t want to seem like she was weak enough to still be fazed by it. But he was. Pekka told her he loved her. After everything he did to her, he turned around and told her it was love. I’m going to kill him.

He tried not to show his anger in his voice as he spoke up. “He told you he loved you?”

Y/N nodded. “All the time. I don’t believe it now, of course, but at the time it was kind of comforting.”

“What?” His eyes bored into her, holding on to every word she said.

She picked at her fingernails, realizing that she wasn’t going to be able to laugh this one off. The conversation was beginning to feel too vulnerable for her liking, but for the first time, she decided not to run from it. Jesper is there for me. He’s not going to tell anyone, he just wants to know because he cares. “It was comforting, to feel loved. Even if it was…” she took a deep, shaking breath. “...The way it was.”

They had started to turn from the harbor into the city, passing more and more gaudy stands and sinful institutions as they got closer and closer to home in the Barrel.

Jesper had gone silent at Y/N’s last words, and it was killing her. She had thought that he wouldn’t judge her, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe he was trying to figure out how to curse her out for being a whore, or helping the enemy. Maybe, he finally got the information he needed and now she was going to go back to her stark basement.

He hadn’t really been quiet for that long. Maybe a few seconds. But to her, it felt like hours. The sky was getting darker and she felt a familiar fear rise up in her stomach. The fear that she wasn’t keeping good company. The fear that she had trusted the wrong man. Again.

“That’s not,” Jesper breathed his words out, still not fully understanding how to form them. His hands twitched toward his revolvers, longing to shoot something. “That’s not okay, love.”

Her heart dropped. “Sorry?”

“You don’t deserve that.” He said, his voice firm. “That’s not what love is, petal.”

He was trying to help her, show her that he cared, but his tone of voice and the words he used made her cringe. It reminded her of men who loved her because of the things she didn’t know. Men who took a liking to her innocence like it was their favorite ice cream topping. Something that could be taken off, abused, manipulated, indulged in. She got angry at the thought of Jesper treating her the same way. Of course I know that’s not what love is. I’m not a child. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Acting like I’m weak all of the time.”

His brows furrowed. “I don’t —“

“Then what is this?” She stopped suddenly, moving into an empty alley and placing a hand on her forehead as she spoke, “The flirting, and the pet names, and the patching up the tiniest scratches like I’m something so precious.”

Jesper threw his hands up in the air. “You are!”

“Why can’t you accept that I am not the perfect girl you think I am, Jes?” Her voice cracked. Most of the anger was gone, replaced with desperation. “I have killed so many people. I have seduced men into ruining their own lives. I am so fucked that I thought I was in love with Pekka fucking Rollins. What about me is untainted? Why are you begging and screaming for me to be so pure when I am obviously not?”

“I don’t understand why this has you upset, dove.” He looked at her with pitiful eyes, reaching toward her.

She pushed his arm away. “You are grasping at my innocence like it is something you require of me. It’s suffocating.”

He still wasn’t sure where this argument stemmed from, but he knew it ran deeper than him. She had an inherent distrust of people ever since he had met her, and he knew her trust of him was too good to be true. It still made his chest hurt.

He tentatively moved to hold her face in his hands. She shuddered at first, but after a few seconds she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, grasping tightly onto his arms.

“I don’t need you to be anything, Y/N.” Jesper softly reassured her. “You’re already everything.”

She opened her eyes and looked into his, looking for some sign of deception or contempt. There was none to be found. His eyes held so much adoration she swore she could faint. She didn’t want this. She wanted more. “You said I don’t deserve whatever Pekka Rollins gave me.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “What do I deserve, then?”

She knew it was childish to ask. To try and force him to admit feelings that she wasn’t even sure he had. But she needed to know. Was he there out of obligation? Pity? Friendship? What was keeping him from leaving her there, and treating her like every other member of the Dregs? She needed the answer, even if it might hurt.

Jesper had always suffered from an excess of energy, but now he felt like he was reaching a boiling point. He wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her that he wanted her more than anything in the entire world. But she deserved sunshine, candies, luxury, and everything sweet and good in the world. And all he could give her was the miserable life she was living now.

What do I deserve, then? Her words rang through his head and he struggled to contain himself. He took a deep breath, reeling himself in. He had known the answer to her question for a while. “Better, Y/N. You deserve better.”

She backed away, her disappointment rising to the surface. He doesn’t want you. You got the answer you wanted. “I appreciate it.”

She was gone before he could even register her leaving.

Jesper walked up the stairs of the Slat, thinking. His mind was at war with itself. That was your chance to be with her, fucking idiot! One side argued. The other half fought back. She doesn’t want me! Despite the divide there was one thought looming over all of the others. I want to kill Pekka Rollins.

He had been angry with the man ever since Inej had told him about Y/N in the alley months ago, but now it was a pure, hateful rage. She could barely express herself to anyone without feeling attacked and now he saw the reason why. She’d been taught that love was painful and difficult in ways unimaginable. Of course she was struggling to be happy. She had been lied to about everything she’d ever experienced, and everything she did felt wrong because of it.

He hadn’t realized where he was headed until he got there. He wasn’t at his bedroom, a coffee shop, or even a gambling den. He was outside of Kaz Brekker’s office. Would it be ridiculous to go in? To confide in Kaz Brekker? Jesper found that Kaz was his best friend, almost a brother, even if it was silly to look at the Bastard of the Barrel that way. He supposed that was one of the things that brought the crows together: having an attachment to one of the deadliest men they had ever met.

Whether it was stupid or not, Jesper knocked and then pushed himself into the room, itching to rant to Kaz about his conflicting night.

Nearby in Inej’s room, Y/N had flopped herself onto a small cot.

“So basically he doesn’t love me and I’m never going to be happy. The end!” Y/N had just finished recounting the night to her best friend, who sat there with wide eyes. She had kept out the part about her “love” with Pekka Rollins. She doubted she’d ever be able to talk about that with anyone again.

“He said you deserve better!” Inej tried to make her feel better. “Not that he doesn’t love you.”

“But he had the perfect opportunity to say he wanted me and he didn’t go for it.” Y/N put a pillow over her face, her tone whiny and childish.

“But that doesn’t mean —“

“Inej, let me wallow.” She took the pillow off her face, glaring jokingly at her friend. “I need it.”

Inej looked at her, concerned, but with a small amused smile on her face. “It seems like you have had a long night where you killed a man and then went out for muffins and then instead of sleeping you went out for sandwiches with your crush—“

Y/N sat up. “And then he was trying to be nice to me and I got defensive and lashed out at him and then tried to get him to confess his love for me that doesn’t exist.” She stared at the wall. “I know the whole story, Inej, it was like an hour ago.”

“What I’m trying to say is maybe you deserve a nap.”

“To hell with what I deserve!” Y/N sighed. “If I hear that word one more time tonight I could throw up. I mean it.”

“Fine, then you need a good nap.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at Inej, then opted to ignore her. “And you know what the worst part is?”

Inej struggled to hold in a laugh. “No, enlighten me.”

“He is so attractive.” She placed her palms over her eyes, groaning. “Like, the whole gun thing? I can barely stand it.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“I am!” Y/N replied, shaking her head, eyebrows knitted in anxiety. “The other day I saw him shoot this guy on a horse perfectly right between the eyes, and it was foggy. I almost passed out.”

Inej tilted her head at her friend, now openly giggling, remembering a conversation she had with Jesper a few days prior.

Inej, I swear to all the Saints if she had knocked out one more of those guards I would have married her on the spot. He’d told her, eyes lovesick as they walked back from a job.

Why don’t you tell her that? Inej smiled at him, enjoying seeing her friend so happy about someone. But she saw a wave of anxiety wash over him at her words, and decided not to press further when he shook his head.

Now, she was practically having the same conversation with the girl in question. Inej smirked to herself, thinking. This is getting unbelievable.

Still, she couldn’t tell anyone about any crushes that she may or may not have known about. She responded to Y/N’s fawning. “What is it about you and being attracted to violence? Should I be concerned?”

“Are you being serious?” Y/N asked her, her smile growing and her eyes widening. When Inej shrugged, she continued. “Hmm, let me think.” She placed a hand to her chin, tapping her finger. “Who else in this room has the exact same problem?” She spoke sarcastically, giving an exaggerated shrug.

Inej immediately got flustered. “Y/N, do not —“

“Oh!” Y/N pointed a finger at her friend. “It’s you! You are the woman attracted to the deadliest man in the Barrel! Not me!”

“Saints help me.” Inej put her head in her hands, hiding her embarrassment.

“Oh how the tables have turned!” Y/N smiled, all too happy to be teasing her friend again. “I’m just kidding, Inej. Would a muffin make you feel better?”

“We got muffins like six hours ago.”

“Right,” Y/N looked to the side, thinking. “What should we do, then?”

“I think you should go and talk to Jesper now that you are more clear headed.” Inej advised, always full of good advice. “Maybe this time you won’t yell at him.”

Y/N looked back at her with a doubtful expression. There are so many things I could do instead. She could have gone back out to the harbor, gotten more sandwiches, or muffins, or both, she could take that nap she so desperately needed, or she could lie and say she’s taking a nap and then get some of the jurda she was itching for. So many options that did not include another interaction with Jesper Fahey.

But despite the anxiety their fight gave her and the certainty that he did not love her the way she would like, she still craved his presence. She needed him even more than she needed the jurda she imagined sitting in her desk drawer in her room, waiting for her.

After some more reassurance from Inej, she walked out of the room to go and look for Jesper.

Kaz Brekker found her before she reached the first stair. Correction, Dirtyhands did. He stopped her movements by whipping his cane to block her path, causing her to look up at him.

“My office,” He demanded, turning away to lead her there. “Now.”

His tone of voice sent chills down her spine. She had heard stories of the ruthlessness of Kaz Brekker that had earned him his reputation and (in her opinion) way too many nicknames, but she had never experienced his wrath first hand. Every bone in her body shook as she sat down across from his desk in his office, wondering what she had done to upset him.

She did what she always did when nervous. Talk. “Boss, did I kill the wrong Razorgull, or did I kill him wrong? Either way one of them is dead and they know it’s because of you so —“

“How long have you been in love with Pekka Rollins?” He interrupted her. When she looked up she saw him leaning over his desk that he stood behind, his hands on the table. The way he stood when he was interrogating someone.

The mention of Pekka Rollins’s name caused her to shut her eyes closed and hold back memories. She could get through discussion of the man just fine when she knew it was coming, but when it was thrown upon her, especially in such a threatening manner, it was harder to handle.

After the initial shock of hearing the name, she had something entirely different sending her mind reeling. Did Kaz just ask about her loving Pekka Rollins, or was she dreaming? That was something she kept to herself for the most part. It was something that toyed with her, gave her nightmares, and made her feel like an idiot. She hadn’t told anyone for a reason.

No, she hadn’t told anyone except for Jesper.

Jesper told him. Betrayal and anger surged forward as she blinked tears from her eyes. I told Jesper one of the worst things about me and he ran to tell our boss an hour later.

She didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. Kaz was less than thrilled.

“You are,” He spoke, “in love with him, correct?”

Her back straightened. “No, boss, I don’t —“

“When do you have the time to go and see him, Y/N?” He asked, and she could practically see darkness traveling behind his eyes. “What information is there to be taken from your position in the Dregs?”

She sat back in her seat, baffled. Was he being serious? At what point did he decide her getting manipulated meant that she was some sort of spy for the Dime Lions? How do you even draw that conclusion?

Y/N took a deep breath and stared up at him, eyes hard. “Do you think for a second that I would betray you like that? That the second my opportunity comes I will run back into the arms of that man and wait for his orders? Whatever that man did to you, I did not do. I never did anything in that place of my own volition but leave. And now you say you can’t trust me because I may be on his side? This is fucking ridiculous!”

“He manipulated you for years,” Kaz snapped, “it would be shocking if you moved on from him this easily.”

“Easily?” She shouted back, standing up from her seat. “I have a thousand words to describe this entire ordeal and not one of them is easy.”

They stood for a moment, considering the things that had been brought up. Kaz didn’t want to believe that she was against him, but he also knew that he had to be careful. He did not mess around with much, but he was never messing around when it came to Pekka Rollins.

“If you don’t have any loyalty to him, then tell me.”

“Tell you what, Kaz?” She was over calling him boss. She wanted him to understand that he was betraying her with every word he said. It was not business to her, it was so personal that she could throw up, and she knew it was personal to him too. He didn’t deserve to feel detached from it. He deserved to hear his name.

“Tell me everything about Pekka Rollins that you know.”

She scoffed. “As if I haven’t already.”

“Oh, did you?” He responded. “I only seem to recall some muddled financial statements and the tears of a naive girl.”

“I was being drugged, Kaz!” She responded. “And, as you so lovingly reminded me, manipulated and lied to!”

“Forgive me for not believing the sob story anymore.” He glared at her. The look that made him into the terror that made even fools cross to the other side of the street as he passed. “Why even stay with the Dregs after you escaped, if not to gather information?”

Y/N was too angry to be afraid.

“There is nowhere to go and nothing to get me there. I have the Dregs, and I have Anais. That’s all.” Y/N was seething and a bad taste in her mouth was forming. Kaz is supposed to be smart, how can he not see that I am on his side? And why the fuck did Jesper tell him about this?

“And who’s to say you don’t also have the Dime Lions in your pocket?” Kaz fought back, “What if you have the gang waiting at the Emerald Palace for you to drop off information about me each week?”

This is getting unbearable.

She scoffed, making sure to look Kaz in the eyes before she spoke, “I owe you, Kaz, and against all good reason I trust you. I want to help you take that bastard down more than anything in the world, but whatever you are trying to find out about Pekka from me is never going to come out. I have told you everything I know about him that could hurt him. I am not holding back for some sort of love that never existed. You think I am plotting against you? That I am in love with Pekka Rollins and I am helping him bring you down? That man does not care who you are. He is so much bigger than you it is unimaginable. I want to help you with whatever you are doing to take that man down but we will not succeed if we do it like this. Right now, if he wanted you dead, you simply would be.” She shrugged, shaking her head. “And furthermore, if I wanted you dead, you wouldn’t realize until your last breath. I could tear you open from the inside with one well placed glass of water.”

Kaz Brekker stood silent. He was not stupid enough to underestimate the girl in front of him. That is why this argument had started in the first place.

She moved toward the door, her voice cracking as she spoke again. “You are not owed my past, Kaz Brekker. Not when I cannot even figure out which parts were real.”

[babayagakeanu]

How Will I Know? -part two

Pairing: Jethro Gibbs/reader

Summary: In which the reader finds out that Gibbs is in fact, in love with her too

Warnings: smut, NSFW 18+, oral receiving(female)

It’s been three weeks since your discussion with Gibbs, and he’s been giving you the silent treatment all those 21 days. It was agony, and you felt so small whenever you were near him. His hard gaze towards you made you overthink and regret ever opening up to him like that, and it made it even harder to do your job with Abby. Forensics was hard enough, Gibbs made it even harder when he kept entering the office every hour. 

“Abs! What do ya got?” He says, entering your shared office in a swift motion. You watch the two as they interact, Abby sharing the details of the prints you two had found on the Vic’s jacket. 

“Great job, Abs. Y/n, I expect you to do the same.” Your blood boils at Gibbs’ remark, but you swallow your pride and continue to work on finding DNA matches. Abby looks over to you and grimaces. “He didn’t take it well, did he?” He didn’t at all, you think, acted like a big baby about it. 

You sigh, looking down at your sample and face her. “No he didn’t. He’s been giving me harder tasks and giving me the silent treatment for almost a month.” You swivel in your chair before getting up to continue your rant. “Abby, I thought  Gibbs and I were close. He opened up to me about more than he’s ever opened up to any of you guys, no offense.” 

“None taken!” She responds. “Maybe he’s processing it, giving it some time to swish around in his little noggin. If it gets to a point where you can’t take it anymore, talk to him, y/n. You deserve closure, at the least.” She hugs you, patting you on the crown of your head before getting back to work. The work day proceeds the same, catching the suspect before the two day period runs out. 

———-

It was midnight when you guys had finished, and you and Gibbs were the only ones left at your desks. It’s been hell working in silence; usually you two would find something to talk about, maybe you would ask him about his boat or he would ask you about your latest puzzle. Either way, it was awkward and uncomfortable. 

“Gibbs?” You ask, the waver in your voice instantly detectable. 

He doesn’t look up from his paperwork. “Yes, y/L/n?” He hasn’t said called you by your last name since you were a probie, and that was the last straw.

You shift in your seat, “I think it’s about high time you give me an explanation!” His head snaps up, a glare already storming in his steely blue eyes. “I’ve been honest with you on how I felt about you. Was it the perfect time and place? No. But I don’t regret it. The only thing that I regret about this is letting you leave without telling me the truth.” He’s silent for a moment, trying to call your bluff; only to be found with tears in your eyes and the devastation wreaking havoc on the color of them.

It’s not long until he gets up, reaching to your desk in a few long strides. You can feel your heart hammering in you chest, and the nervousness ate at the pit of your stomach.

“Jethro, are you-?” He yanks you up with one hand, not too rough, but enough to pull you flat to his chest , the warmth of his body seeping into your skin. You smell him; sawdust and bourbon. Smoky with just a hint of manliness.

“I have tried incredibly hard to keep my distance from you because all I want to do is kiss you.” You knew Gibbs wasn’t one for words but even the simplest of sentences behold the deepest meanings. You looked into his eyes, memorizing the image of yourself reflecting back at you, hoping that you will be for his eyes only now on.

“Then kiss me,” you say, craning your neck for him as he dips into your mouth, growling at the taste of your lips against his. His hands travel further, cupping both of your ass cheeks and pressing you into him. You gasp into his mouth, scratching at the base of Jethro’s neck.

“Jethro, please I-“ You whine, backing up into your computer desk, careful of knocking down the computer. “What do you need, babygirl?” You could feel the corner of something digging into your back but you didn’t care. 

“I want you. All of you.” You say, against his lips that were still currently attacking yours.Your hands found their way under his shirt, feeling the warmth and rigidness of his muscled back. His lips leaves yours, dragging a whine out of you from the loss of contact. 

“Meet me at my place, tomorrow evening. Dinner’s on me, you bring the bourbon.” He leaves you a sweet kiss, another following on the corner of your mouth. You pack up and are about to leave when he stops you. “By the way, you were never just a friend to me.”

You sigh, grinning up at him. “You sure you don’t want to come to my place? I can think of a few ways to prove myself to you. Well, more or less, show you.” He smirks, chuckling before playing with the strap of your bra, peeking out from underneath your short sleeve top. 

“Well, as much as I believe you can show me, I also believe in the art of suspense and surprise. So, tomorrow at eight.” 

——————————————————————————————————

The time to go over Gibbs’ place tonight was almost upon you, the hour hand reaching 6:30. You were in the shower, currently listening to every power-up song there was, and scrubbing your skin until it was red. Once you knew that you’ve been in the shower for way too long, you stepped out, wrapping a fluffy towel around you and hurried to your bedroom to pick out your outfit. You didn’t want to dress up to much, knowing that Jethro would most likely be wearing a button up t-shirt and jeans. You settled on a tight black shirt, paired with simple blue jeans. You had opted to curl your hair, letting it fall into loose waves and for your makeup, simple but with a bold red lip. It was 7:30 by the time you were done getting ready, so you packed up the bottle of wine and headed to his his house.

The phone rang a few times before he picked up. “Yeah, Gibbs.” 

“You still answer your phone like that with your significant others?” You say, smiling as you turn down his street. 

“Who said you were my girlfriend?” He asks, the joking evident in the way he chuckles at the end. 

“Well, what I’m wearing under my clothes and the way you kissed me last night said otherwise.” You park your car in his driveway. “Now open up Marine or I’m leavin’.” The phone call ends and the door opens, revealing Jethro, who actually looked like sex on legs. He donned a jean button up, and cargo pants. 

“Wow.” Is all he says, watching as your chest gleamed under the light of his kitchen. “Wow, yourself.” You respond, leaning in to kiss his jaw. “You looking like that makes me wanna skip dinner and get to the fun stuff.” He smiles, looking down at your smirking face. “Well, if you keep talkin’ like that, I might end up being hungry for somethin’ else.” He leads you to the kitchen were he made an excellent dinner of steak, potatoes, and some veggies. 

“Why did I known you were a meat and potatoes kind of guy?” You quip, watching as he smirks at you before cutting into his steak. 

“I’m a simple man, y/n. I know what I like.” You knew that his last sentence has a double entendres, and it makes the corners of your mouth quirk up a bit. 

“I don’t doubt that you do.” You say, and the two of you eat your dinner in a comfortable manner, it felt natural, like you knew that fate had brought you together, but you wouldn’t tell him that, not yet. You still had the fear of losing him, of him pushing you away like he did with his ex-wives, and you didn’t want to ever be referred to as Jethro’s ex-wife. 

“Something on your mind?” He asks, cutting through the silence and shaking you out of your head. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking.” You shrug, forking more veggies into your mouth. 

“Nothing is always something. What are you thinking about?” he puts his fork down and rest his elbows on the table, folding his hands. You sigh, putting your fork down.

“It’s gonna sound embarrassing if I tell you.” 

“No, it won’t.”

“Well,” you begin, the fear in your throat rising. “You know how I feel about you, and I’m just thinking about why I took this job in the first place. I love forensics and working with Abs is just one of the many perks of the job.”

He laughs, “ She is a character.” 

“But, I think the biggest perk there was, is you.” You look up at him, and find him walking up to your chair, and lifting you up from it. “Yeah, I think I’d agree too.” His hands ghost up your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His lips find your neck, leaving wet, hot kisses causing you to moan softly and grab his biceps in an attempt to stable yourself. 

“Jethro...” you mumble, watching as he stares down at you with his steely blue eyes, looking at how the icy blue ring deepens with lust. His lips are on yours in a flash, and something tells you he couldn’t handle not kissing you for long. You match his pace, a kiss full of gnashing teeth and hot breath. Your hands reach up to wrap around his neck. “God, you taste so good, J.” You feel his shit-eating grin on your lips before you pull away.

You grab the bottle of wine and two glasses. “Meet me upstairs in ten minutes.” You wink at him before walking off upstairs, not without adding an extra sway to your hips. 

———————-

The Marine had finished cleaning up dinner in record time, and you had finished putting lotion all over your body, brushing your teeth, and positioned yourself in just your panties on his bed; they were lace, of course. It was when you heard Jethro coming up the stairs that the excitement starts eating at the pit of your stomach. You’re sipping on your third glass of wine when he opens the door and stops in his tracks when he sees you.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” He states, his eyebrows raised with a smirk. “you’re looking real pretty right about now.” He can tell your nipples are perked, and are in desperate need of attention. “Well, don’t just stand there with your mouth open, come put it to good use, mister.” He smirks, his hands in his pockets as the tightness in his pants grew, he felt it as he was walking towards you. Shoving his socks and shoes off, he climbs on the bed, taking your wine glass and sipping it with once again, a smirk. Setting your wine glass on the bedside table, he envelops your lips in a fiery kiss, licking into your mouth and tasting the Cabernet on your tongue. His hands find your hips, squeezing as he breaks contact with your lips. He sits up as you climb into his lap, your arms ghosting over his broad shoulders meanwhile grinding into his bulge. 

“I love you,” you remind him, watching as his lips turn into this wide smile, as if the heavens opened up to him, and that would be alright because he could die a happy man right about now. 

“I love you, too.” He kisses you, and maybe you were just in a daze but you felt every emotion in his kiss. As if he was telling you something without actually telling you. His lips trail further down your collarbone, sending chills through your spine and when he reaches your taut nipples, it causes you to let out a high-pitched gasp. His tongue swirls around your teased bud, nipping it a little.

“For years, I’ve dreamt of knowing what was under these clothes of yours, and you know what? My imagination is nowhere close to the real thing.” He lays you down, watching as your hair cascades against his pillow. “I’m gonna show you what it’s like to be with a man, sweetheart.” You giggle at him, but it’s suppressed once he dives into your pussy. Licking and sucking at the small bundle of nerves you know most men can’t find. 

“Oh, Jethro!” You gasp, hands tangling themselves into his short silver locks. “Just like that... just like that” you mumble, his fingers working your tight hole, hot, wet, and tight. You were nearing your release when he releases his fingers and mouth, coming back up to kiss you before shedding off the rest of his clothes. “Wha-” he smirks down at you, before tugging at his cock, entering you  in a swift motion. Your gasp was swallowed by another kiss, but he didn’t move, allowing you to adjust to his larger size. Once you tap his shoulder, he moves, slowly but gradually picking up pace once he hears your tiny whimpers and mewls.

“So fucking tight,” he adds, his sharp and heavy thrusts causing your breasts to bounce, and his large hand moved from the pillow by your head to capture your breast. You left out a high-pitched moan as his thrust sends you into overdrive, nails scraping at his shoulders while you moan out his name like a mantra.

“Good girl,” he moans, getting close to his end as well. His thrusts start to sloppy and with a guttural groan, he comes, spilling his hot seed inside you.

——————————————————-

Your fingers were trailing his face, committing his looks to memory, as if one day you’d wake up and he wouldn’t be there. You’re figuring he’s doing the same since he’s looking at you like you’re the only one in the world who’s made him feel so strongly about someone. There were no need for words, because everything has already been said.

———————————————————————-

Taglist: @minninugget @bandgeek88

[promenadewithme]

Congratulations on 50 followers!! Could I request Matthia Helvar with Night Changes by One Direction, please? Thanks so much!! 🥰

Thank you, nonie!! I hope you like this!

Pairing: Matthias Helvar x fem!reader

Song: Night Changes - One Direction

Warnings: swearing, protective Matthias, heist!

Word Count: 1,2k

Night Changes

“This one!” said Nina, holding up a revealing red dress. Tonight the crows were going on a heist and your job was to distract one of the merchers, Claudios Vos, long enough for Kaz, Wylan and Inej to get in and out of his estate with the blueprints they needed. Nina and Matthias would stand watch and Jesper would stay at the crow club with you.

“Perfect!” you exclaimed, grabbing the dress and putting it on. Nina then started working on your hair and makeup, saying how much Matthias would love it. You and the fjerdan started dating a while ago, after the Ice Court heist. It took a little time for him to warm up to the crows, but you’ve found out that criminal and near death experiences tend to bring people together.

“I’m done! Saints, you won’t even have to say anything to distract the man!” she giggled and dare you say she was right. You looked stunning! The heartrender had styled your hair in loose curls, painted your lips scarlet and applied black mascara to your eyelashes. You smiled at your reflection, noticing how the dress clung to all the right places. You were never one to show your body, it was a dangerous thing to do in the barrel, so you stuck to loose dark clothes that facilitate movement and left you in the shadows. Not tonight.

Nina grabbed your hand and led you downstairs, where the crows were waiting. Jesper was the first to notice the two of you, emitting a low whistle.

“Hello, gorgeous!” he said, leaning on the counter and you giggled, doing a quick spin. 

Matthias was not smooth as Jesper, turning a deep shade of crimson and thinking ‘everything she never had she’s showing off’. He snaps out of his trance, taking off his jacket and covering your cleavage. 

“No.” he declared.

“No?” you asked in an amused tone.

“No.” he maintained. Then it hit you, he was jealous.

“You like it!” you exclaimed with a grin and Matthias blushed even more if it was possible.

“It doesn’t matter that I like it, it matters that the other men will like it too.” he muttered.

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point.” chuckled Jesper.

“What do I do if he wants to leave?” you asked Kaz.

“You try to convince him to sleep with you.” he answered, adjusting his gloves.

“What?” Matthias stammered.

“It’s not like he’ll accept.” said Kaz in a monotonous tone.

“In that dress? He’d have to be a very dedicated priest not to accept!” exclaimed Jesper and you hit his arm, giving a warning glare.

“Hey,” you cupped the fjerdan’s chin and looked him in the eyes “I’m yours and I promise I’ll be safe.” he nodded curtly and you gave him back his jacket.

Jesper rubbed his hands together quickly before saying “It’s show time.”

“There he is.” Jesper nodded in the target’s direction, pouring a glass of whiskey for you.

“No mourners,” you murmured.

“No funerals.” he replied quietly and you started walking, or rather stumbling, towards the mercher. You took a small sip of the drink and bumped into the man.

“I’m so terribly sorry,” you slurred and looked up at him “I can be quite clumsy.” he looked you up and down, stopping at your breasts and you had to repress a gag.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing drinking something so strong?” he asked with a disgusting smirk.

“My boyfriend broke up with me.” you pouted exaggeratedly and he mirrored you actions.

“You poor thing... I’m Claudios Vos. Would you like to have a good time?” another gag.

“I’d love that!” you answered excitedly. 

“Come on then, let’s play some poker.” he sat down and pulled you onto his lap.

Three games later, you impressed by how much the man could bluff. 

“You are so smart!” you giggled “How do you remember all the cards?” you asked tilting your head to the side like a helpless puppy. 

“It’s not that hard, sugar cakes.” you had to repress a cringe.

“Can you teach me?” you asked, bashing your lashes.

“Oh no, I don’t think a woman could learn this game.” he said laughing and the other men at the table laughed along. You wanted to kill him, but spilling your drink on him was enough.

“Oh! I am so sorry! Here, let me help you clean that.” he stood up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just go to the restroom. You go order us a glass of champagne!” he exclaimed and slapped your butt. You had to bite your tongue making your way to Jesper.

“It’s been 5 hours, how much longer will they take?” you asked as the zemni boy grabbed a bottle of champagne and handed it to you.

“The most expensive bottle in the house for that slap.” he said and winked at you. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon.” as soon as he said that, a boy came running into the club.

“Where is Mr Vos?” he cried out.

“Shit.” you mumbled looking back at Jesper.

“Can I not have one night of fun?” he cried out “What is it?” 

“There has been a break in.” the poor boy looked like he was going to pass out.

“Get me my coat.” Vos replied. You made your way to him, trying to keep the man here.

“Where are you going? I thought we were having fun!” you flirted.

“We were, but it seems there has been a break in.” he answered gravely.

“I’m sure your servants can take care of it, why don’t we get a room and have even more fun?” when he smirked down at you with lust in his eyes, fear took over your body. Kaz said he wouldn’t accept! What the hell do I do now?

“What is all the fuss about?” said Kaz, who appeared out of nowhere, and you thanked the saints.

“There has been a robbery, sir.” said the boy.

“Well then, take the confusion outside. Don’t want to scare the pigeons.” then he turned around and went up the stairs, into his office.

“Another day.” affirmed Vos, going out the door. You let out a relieved sigh and went looking for Matthias. After a while, you found him sitting on the roof.

“What are you doing up here? Are you hurt? What happened?” you sat next to him and cupped his face so he would look at you. 

“Everything was going fine, then someone came in and suddenly we were running here, trying not to die. I-” he looked at his hands then back at you “Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?”

You sighed. “It’s part of being a crow, the uncertainty, the fear, the possibility of everything that you’ve ever dreamed of disappearing when you wake up.”

“That’s not what I’m afraid of. What if something happened to me tonight, or worse, to you.” he had tears in his eyes.

“My love, as soon as we get enough money we will be out of here. We can live on a farm! Or a boat!” he chuckled and you continued “But, meanwhile, there is nothing to be afraid of, even when the night changes, it will never change me and you.”

He smiled and gave you a tender kiss on the lips. 

“Just a few more heists and we’ll be out of here.” he said, caressing your cheek.

“Just a few more.” you smiled at him, held his hand and leaned you head on his shoulder. Matthias kissed your temple and put his head on top of yours. The two of you looked out at Ketterdam, dreaming about your life away from the barrel. 

General tag list: @for-bebbanburg @power-of-words23 

Grishaverse tag list: send me an ask if you want to be added

Matthias Helvar tag list: send me an ask if you want to be added

[skamamoroma]

I Promised You The Moon - Episode 1 Thoughts - aka did John Hughes direct this and not tell us?

Oh I had to wait so long today to see episode 1 as I was working but I am so very happy I waited till I was in bed and with a cup of tea... which I then cried into four times. So that’s where I’m at. This is going to be long, I’m not even sorry in the slightest!

For ITSAY, I made so many posts about this show and how moving and beautiful it was, how the symbolism and writing was exceptional, how the music was absolutely incredible and how much I adored BK and PP’s chemistry. P’Boss’ work is special and the feel of Part 1 was a delicious kind of awkward, indie movie full of metaphors, fraught pain and emotion and pretty breathtaking storytelling of love and growth. I fell absolutely in love with Teh and Oh and their story, obsessed with Teh as a character (as I see a lot of myself in him and I love when he spirals) and I just felt utterly moved by the whole show. So I never needed Part 2. Part 1, for me, is perfect. And I certainly didn’t expect to love Part 2 as much or feel as much emotion because I just thought it wouldn’t be possible especially with a change of director and city and storyline... but I genuinely think that was a good idea after seeing Episode 1.

I just finished it and I’m kinda tear stained and the first thing I couldn’t get out of my head was just how much it reminds me of the late dear John Hughes movies from the 80s. Those of you who are a little old like me born right at the beginning of the 90s, will have been brought up on those movies filled with 80s synth music, stories of growing up, artsy camera work and filled with colour and emotion. Those movies are some of my all time favourites and I absolutely felt their influence on Episode 1 and maybe the rest of the season, I don’t know! I really wonder if P’Meen used them or was aware, hahaha. Anyway...!

But first off, I cannot, and I mean CANNOT handle the music. Part 1 really did floor me with the use of the score and how it was such a huge part of the reason it was so beautiful. Phuket Dreams has me in tears about 3 notes in... so cue me crying at the remixes of the old score with 80s synth sounds and almost Dream Pop echoy sounds. That right there is my jam, my absolute favourite music and the way IPYTM is so clearly going to be full of it makes my heart very happy. Especially those last scenes with Oh, that sweeping 80s style music taking him from heartbroken pain to dancing to forget had John Hughes all over it and just felt so impactful. So I will bang on every week about the music I’m sure.

As for the beginning and the casual buying of condoms (yesssss god damn Nadao, thank you for safe sex lessons for LGBT+ youth and a nod to actual sexual expression, I’m mega proud) leading into the way Hoon and Suri were involved (they didn’t give me Tuty 😭) in transferring Teh, it felt like such a gorgeous transfer from ITSAY vibes to IPYTM... watching Teh’s mamma so proud, Hoon watching over him as always and then gently leading into the first moment that made me cry...

How dare they put a remix of the old score over Teh being told by his mamma that she accepts him as he is so casually and softly, in a way that not only lets Teh know he’s loved but welcomes Oh as someone she cares about deeply and is happy being someone her son loves. It was beautifully done and I couldn’t help but think of Teh’s teary face on the Cape at the end of Episode 5 and thinking how proud I am of him. The way Hoon stroked his hair - help.

Teh. Now I made no secret of the fact that I loved every moment of watching Teh go through it in Part 1, how his very physicality and struggle played out especially him writhing all over his rug! But we had to see him grow. He isn’t the same boy he was but he still feels like Teh, just a little more comfortable, a little more mature in some ways and just READY for life. He feels tentative but also prepared to grow more and I just adore him. Oh, on the other hand, the one who was much more secure in himself in terms of his self and sexuality in Part 1 is now absolutely thrown into the unknown and isn’t handling it well.

Oh was established so beautifully as a Phuket boy. His name is rooted in his home, he lives in shorts and by the sea, he’s shaped by that place and what it means to him... his signature scent is coconut! He literally embodies Phuket... so it doesn’t in any way surprise me that we are watching him flounder and feel lost. It feels so human and so many moments felt so moving. When he told Teh that the best part of his day was seeing him, when he imagined the waves on his mind, when he listened to his mamma talk about the coastal weather... it’s hardly surprising that he cried as he was asked to explain his name. That was the second moment that got me. I was a wreck. Watching him break down and fall to pieces infront of total strangers just because he was recounting the meaning of his name, the foundation of who he is, the thing he misses to very much... he doesn’t fit, he doesn’t feel at home and he didn’t feel himself. It was beautifully done, for me. I caught my breath the second he started crying because it was so utterly human and raw. I have felt the way he does and recognised every second on his face. PP has come so so far with his acting.

Then we get the mention of Yongjian. NOW SOMEONE TELL ME IS THAT TEH AS YONGJIAN IN THE TITLES? If so, how dare they spoil it?! I am going to weep uncontrollably if Teh gets his dream. But the way Teh spoke of their future, the way he tried to recreate their past with Yongjian’s speech. Their entire history as friends and boyfriends is rooted in that story, that character, the idea of being Male protagonists... and Teh is so sure of their future. Also, you cannot also avoid the meta of it all with BK and PP. That moment and their words felt so personal to them too and their own real lives!

Do not even start with how their first kiss in Phuket was underwater and arguably their first kiss in Bangkok is the same albeit in public. DO NOT LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH.

The issue is that, Part 1 set out for us how they ended up where they are. Oh fell into acting, it was never his dream from the start. Then it all became a fight, a thing to win from his rival and in the end a thing to prove. We haven’t really ever see Oh show a passion for the stage and acting, not really. He worked so hard to get his place in Uni but there’s so much irony at play. Their entire story of rivalry has actually caused this current situation. Oh “won” the coveted Uni spot (helped in part by Teh) and Teh “lost” and was making do. But we see how that’s not how life goes. Oh never really felt he knew what he wanted and so he just ploughed on. He’s now in a situation where he has to start deciding, has to be his own person and he’s just... lost. I can’t wait to see him find it whatever it may be! The difference with Teh is that he may not have got his number 1 desire but his passion is ENOUGH. He loves what he’s doing and that moment where Khim (is that her name, I forget now, it’s so late, but Goy’s character) was explaining the lights was gorgeous. Teh’s passion was ignited, you could see that “oh wow” moment... and you can see the difference in how they’re going to progress, Teh didn’t need the top Uni because his passion can carry him and will help him succeed whereas Oh doesn’t know what his passion is and perhaps he’s where he is for the wrong reasons after all. The story telling is lovely to me, if completely heartbreaking.

The tears came again at “but I’ve already given so much of our time to other people”. Oh the tears. The boat scene from ITSAY is my favourite scene of the show and that line is one of the most beautiful bits of writing I’ve encountered for a long while... and to see Teh use it and remember it and effectively set out the issue they’re facing was heartbreaking. They made that promise on the boat and they’re breaking it. Oh-aew is trying to be what he thinks Teh needs and Teh is wide eyed and filled with this new world and getting to indulge his passions. They’re both so human and both trying the best way they know but they’re so young and so unsure and have so little life experience that they don’t know how to be adults or how to manage all of this stuff. They know they care and love and are each other’s person but they have such a lot to learn.

So the introduction of Q and the boys... and let me say they’re glorious... feels both beautiful and tragic because they look like they will be accepting and also potentially LGBT+ themselves or maybe Q (I see your gorgeous painted nails, sweetheart and the way you didn’t question Oh saying “partner” for a second)... but also they’re what Oh is using to fill the time he promised to Teh. It’s not Oh’s fault. He deserves friendship and a world of his own too but he was relying so much on the familiarity of Teh and Teh’s presence to keep him grounded and comfortable but he can’t do that all the time. He is trying so hard to be good and thoughtful and kind that he’s not telling Teh the truth. He’s doing what he said he wouldn’t do on the boat, but we can’t blame him in the slightest, he’s the sweetest boy.

I have so much to say but I guess that’ll do for now. I really loved the episode. Yes, it’s different but I think I realise now why it needed to be. In a way I’m kinda of happy about it because ITSAY stays sacred!!!! It stays as that beautifully fraught and emotional indie movie of my heart filled with metaphorical depth. It can’t be touched as far as I’m concerned but with IPYTM it feels just as moving, just as emotional, just as impactful but in a different way that reflects maturity. I don’t think it would have worked if it still felt fraught and characterised by ITSAY vibes. They’re not kids, they’re not insecure about who they are anymore in terms of their sexuality and they are moving into adulthood.

I know it’s going to break me. Episode 1 had me genuinely crying into my tea but I also know that it had the potential for its own special brand of symbolism and meaning. We can already see some special moments which seemed to be saying way more than the words themselves like the speech on light and how we see things and the way Oh even used it himself to see a different perspective at the end. That felt really very meaningful. They’re going to need to be able to see different view points as they navigate what will probably be a shit ton of pain! They will need to adjust to the light, to their circumstances to be able to survive and for their bond to be what is important without allowing other stuff to pass into their line of sight. Oh saw nothing. Empty stage, no Teh, not even himself... he opened his eyes too soon. He needs to learn to adjust and learn how to see the world and his place in it so that when he opens his eyes he sees what he desires and has worked for and made for himself rather than emptiness.

The last thing for me is the chemistry. What more can you say other than they’re perfect? They have the most natural, enigmatic, intense and sweet chemistry. They work so beautifully together. They sell even the smallest of moments and they absolutely destroy with emotion. I just feel every second of Teh and Oh’s emotion and that is such a damn skill. Their talent, man.

So I loved it. I am going to be dreaming tearstained in 80s synth music tonight! I can’t wait for the rest to emotionally destroy me a little more.

[interact-if]

Umm hi 👉👈 I realized that most of the asks you guys get are about games and rec lists. You guys deserve so much recognition for the work you put in this blog, so I wanted to ask if I can do a little get-to-know-the-mods thing? If that's okay!

1. Besides writing, what are your hobbies?

2. Do you have a niche interest right now?

3. Any fave songs/artists/bands?

4. Any fave movies/tv shows?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how likely would you survive in your wip's world?

You can totally ignore this if you guys want, no pressure. Anyway, much love to all the interact-if mods! You guys are incredible! ❤

We saw this ask and we went 👀 👀 👀 so we’re happy to answer! Thank you so much for the fun ask!

 We also rated our survivability in all of our collective games, since Mars isn't an author! Fun stuff! Spoilers, though: it’s really not looking so great for me (Dani) but that’s fine!!!  😌

1. I’m a photographer as well as a graphic artist (but not like. A painter/drawer kind of artist!) and, on a general level, a maker and a tinkerer!

2. Fountain pens! I only write with ink, and only with fountain pens, and I use bottled inks/converters!

3. I’m pretty eclectic with music, but my top genres are alt rock, indie, indie pop, etc, as well as top 40s and some rap.

4. I feel like this is the hardest one for me to answer? Favorite movies/shows? Avatar: the Last Airbender has been a favorite show of mine since I was a little kid, but I have a harder time thinking of shows I would call a favorite in recent years. There are shows I’ve liked, and a lot of shows I’ve watched. But I’m picky! And demanding! It takes a lot to earn a place in Dani’s Trophy Case of Favorites. 😌 I would say I quite liked A Quite Place (movie), and I liked Us (movie). When it comes to TV shows, I have a hard time being pleased with them if they don’t end well. As a result, I have a penchant for a good limited series/miniseries (because they’re stories that have an end in mind and the plot reflects that, dagnabbit).

5. Heh. Okay.

In The Goodfellows? I think I stand I chance. I can exercise my sparkling wit and lovable personality to the best effect. I’m gonna give myself an 8/10 survivability rating. Even if I don’t have the right skills, I can go crying to the person who does and they’ll save me. Maybe.

In Creatures’ Cradle? I’m super $**!%d. 😌 1/10 survivability rating. And that 1 is me being nice to myself. The day the apocalypse breaks out I would probably be patient 0. I am self-aware. I would not do well in an apocalypse. Zombies care not for aforementioned sparkling wit and lovable personality, and I have all the muscle of a boiled spaghetti noodle. So it’s a no go.

Greater Than Gods (Cruz): Well. I’m going to be optimistic. And say that I have the wisdom not to do things I shouldn’t do and not to rock boats I shouldn’t rock. I’m going to give myself a 7/10 based on insider information, but also based on reckless optimism!

Vardir (Cruz): Cruz says this is a lighthearted game, so 10/10 LOL.

When it Hungers (Roast): I’m giving myself a nice, mediocre 5/10. I think I could put my mind to work here; I joke that I’m the village idiot, but I’m actually pretty smart! Unfortunately, I’m also curious, and maybe a little bad with authorities who won’t answer my questions. So I knocked off a lot of points due to the fact that I’d probably poke the metaphorical bear. So it’s a real coin flip as to whether I’d really make it or not.

Orthall Bay (Nines): Considering the genre is “horror” and the game intro includes the words “monster” and “maim,” I’m giving myself a whooping, enthusiastic 3/10. Yes, folks, I am that confident in myself! Once again, I can’t charm the socks off a monster (or can I?), so one of my greatest weapons is snatched from beneath my feet. Alas!

1. Beloved I’m a college student in the middle of a pandemic... i can hardly even write LOL i do draw at times which u can see in my personal blog (nothing too good really) and i used to do karate before things went to shit <3

2. Nothing niche I believe? All I do is leave Netflix as bg noise every day n play popular videgames (genshin)

3. Porter Robinson <3 I love Bea Miller a lot as well but lately I’ve been feeling Porter a lot

4. The Good Place <3

5. My WIPs:

Greater than Gods: Highly situational, the world GtG is set in is as broad as the real world LOL so I don’t have an universal answer. But keeping it vague, and knowing my own personality, I feel like 5/10. depends on my luck.

Vardir: 10/10 no one dies in Vikgade, unless you’re a hunter but I wouldn’t be a hunter <3

Others’ WIPs

I'm gonna give myself a solid 5/10 in all other WIPs because y'all aren't writing lighthearted stories either. I feel like as long as I avoid the role of the MC I will be mostly fine. I hope. But as Dani said I'm also prone to fight the wrong person and dig my own grave so 😌

1. Well, writing is a very, very, very, distant hobby since Words Hard, but I like to crochet and sculpt a little! Anything to do with fiddling with my hands and I’m good to go. And like, debatable but graphic design is my passion [insert clown emoji here since Tumblr said No]

2. Oh yeah a bunch! DnD yelling at people, thinking of arson, crocheting, rock climbing and simply vibing. I got into podcasts a few years ago and I’m always looking for more recs, so if you have some, hmu 😤

3. Pls,,,,my music taste is,,,so weird do not let me expose myself with lack of consistency but uhh. Current songs that are stuck in my head include; Cult of Dionysus , Achilles Come Down and The Last Shanty  

4. If you’ve ever spoken to me before, I probably yelled about Pacific Rim to you or at you. Plus I love all The Mummy films and really enjoyed Castlevania (s3 excluded, we do not perceive that) as well! 

5. Ah, mod survival simulator pt. 3

Alright, let’s go!  I don’t have a WIP because again, words hard, but like, considering how feral I am when not tryna seem professional hm... 

The Goodfellows: I wanna say a solid 7/10 because I’d hardcore vibe with the Traveler and probably instigate so much nonsense. I can also bribe with blueberry cake so maybe. 

Creature’s Cradle: maybe a 4/10 and only because of pure spite keeping me alive long enough to smack someone. I’ve prepared for hypothetical  zombie apolcapyses and I won’t hesitate to bap, but will be bapped back because I’m weak as hell. 

Greater Than Gods: a toss up between 2/10 and 7/10! I can vibe and be chill but I also have terrible impulse control so... 

Vardir: hm....I think pretty good survival rates all around? If you ask me to fight then like, okay sure, your knees are mine. So maybe a 8/10? 

When it Hungers: .......8/10 just because I’d refuse to die if I can be a cool creature. Living for the aesthetic can and will drag me outta hell. But I’m also clumsy as hell so I’d probably crash as a porcelain or hold a rooster and perish (aka, real rating is a good 3/10) 

Orthall Bay: 2/10, nope. Nope I’d be taken out in a heartbeat. Monsters can go pspsps and I’d head straight into the dark creepy forest like a fool if someone comes @ me. Half the time I’ll just assume it’s sfx makeup and vibe until it’s too late. 

god, never put me in a universe where I cannot squawk like a bird and throw pebbles from a window. Oof

Anon, you're so sweet! I give you a forehead smoomch <333 As for your questions...

1. If I'm not writing, I'm usually watching video essays on Youtube. My go-to channels as of right now is Disrupt and Aperture! I just really like their videos. Aside from that, I recently got into podcasts. Currently going through Hello From The Hallowoods and Shelter and Warning, which are made by queer creators!

2. Oh oof, there's quite a bit so I'm just gonna put down one thing. For some reason, I really got into collecting tiny astronaut things? I recently bought this astronaut desk light, and I've got a package coming in for the miniatures I ordered. No purpose for them other than I think they're neat <3

3. I'm a bit private with my music taste (even tho I have Spotify connected on Discord lmao), but there's 5 songs that I'm currently obsessed with. I keep replaying them over and over again. Just squeezing all the serotonin I could get outta them.

4. I can't really say I have a fave TV show or movie because I can't really just pick one, but my current fave is 9-1-1 and Resident Alien. 9-1-1 because I just really love the found-family dynamics and how the show tackles sensitive topics, and Resident Alien because it's lighthearted comedy. My all-time fave movie is Flipped! I have the book too and I like rereading from time to time <3

5. You're in for a doozy, anon, because we're rating each other's games <333

The Goodfellows: 7/10

Listen. Shenanigans with the Traveler. I would get up to so many of them and that is what'll get me possibly bodied, not the actual environment itself <3

Greater than Gods: 7/10

I like to think I have enough common sense to uhhh not recklessly flip stones that should not be flipped <3 I'm a cautious and skeptic person irl so I think I'll hold up well? Then again, it's a vast environment change and while I can adapt pretty quick, I wouldn't like the lack of control in the unknown.

Vardir: 10/10

Going off what Cruz said, Vardir is lighthearted and focused on personal growth so I think I'll be okay! Self-growth here I come, babey!

Creatures' Cradle: 8/10

Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but I think I'll be able to survive in a supernatural post-apocalyptic world! Ah, but it depends on the motivation though. I like the idea of rebuilding communities and eventually societies, but the survival turmoil would be a constant battle I'd have to overcome. If we're talking survival itself though, I think I'll do well.

When it Hungers: 8/10

That's probably my wishful thinking but I think I'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. Don't like the idea of being regulated by an organization so if I was a non-human creature that could pose a problem but I can roll with it <3

Orthall Bay: 6/10

Assuming I'm not playing as MC, my chances of survival uhhh changes quite drastically. Not enough to guarantee an untimely demise, but certainly enough that it would constantly keep me on my toes. I think that's the safest answer I can get without spoiling anything lmao

Thank you so much for asking! It's super sweet of you <3

1. Too many :'D I knit, I sew, I do carpentry (well, learning), I bake, I'm hammering away at HTML and CSS, my job kind of encourages learning new things and I take that to picking up new hobbies!

2. My time is kind of consumed with school work and work work and WIP work so not a lot of time to pursue niche interests right now. I've been watching a lot of horror game playthroughs, true crime youtubers, and an adorable show on Netflix called the Repair Shop <3

3. My taste in music is "what am I vibing with atm?" I've been listening to a lot of 80's music atm (don't @ me), but also Lo Fang and Kaleo, and whatever spotify recommends me on my discover weekly which is usually complete chaos.

4. I love the Mummy even though it hasn't aged 100% well (I'm a librarian, of course it's one of my gotos LOL), Legally Blonde, Leverage, Jumanji (the original), I'm....very bad at having recent tastes... and very bad at remembering my favorites when asked.

5.

The Goodfellows: I'm a creature of comfort, 5/10 if I can just luxuriate in town and not actually interact with the story sfjkdbsdkf

Creature’s Cradle: I'd like to think I have a 50/50 shot XD 5/10, I want to think I'd be decent at a zombie apocalypse but ultimately would suffer an early fate.

Greater Than Gods: 10/10 if I'm just vibing, less so if I'm involved in the actual story XD

Vardir: I'd still suffer without technology but I can also knit for a living in this world so I'm down 8/10

When it Hungers: I feel like I could vibe here, there's tech if dated, hot showers, telephones are around by now... might still get bored. 7/10 though it'd be cool to be another creature....I should make a 'what creature of snv are you' quiz!

Orthall Bay: 7/10 idk I feel like after the first monster of the week I'd just skip town XDDDD I'm the worst protagonist, I see danger I just leave.