#pretty sure I learned this from Futurama

[ufohio]

Wait til I come out with my advanced version: Putting a 2 at the end of everything

[lunawings]

Animaniacs in Concert, 2/17/24 in Bristol, CT

Or, the story of how I ran into Rob Paulsen and immediately threw up.

Not on him, thankfully.

Where to begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I talk a lot about Japanese voice actors on this blog and I have almost no thoughts about American anime dub voice actors (no offense, I just don't know their work). However, if you asked me my favorite American cartoon voice actor, it's Rob Paulsen. I knew his voice before I even knew he existed, and if you ask me, he's one of the most recognizable male voice actors in Saturday morning cartoons.

He's probably most known as being Yakko on Animaniacs, and "half the Ninja Turtles" as he puts it. ("Maybe if I live to 102 I can voice all of them!") I also personally really liked him in The Mask cartoon, I think it's some of his best work. (Even though he was doing Jim Carey, he kind of wasn't at the same time. He made it his own.) But even beyond his leading roles, he just seems to pop up all sorts of places, and it always makes my day when I recognize him as additional voices.

While Japanese voice actors are often young and excessively beautiful people you're supposed to swoon over, 80s/90s American cartoon voice actors aren't... quite... the same. And yet. I sorta do, in a weird way. I mean I've known Rob Paulsen's voice for as long as my brain has been making memories and that's a pretty huge impact on a person. A few years back, I stumbled upon a few videos of him on YouTube attending cons performing Yakko's World and such, and I just loved his personality and energy so much. So, I added seeing him perform someday to my mental list of goals to accomplish if I ever returned to the US.

Fast forward again to the 2020s, the Animaniacs revival comes out on Hulu (I don't care what anyone says I freakin loved it) and I hear he's touring again with Animaniacs in Concert. I looked up the dates and none of them were remotely near me. As I checked back one day, mourning the possible missed opportunity and debating how far I might go, a new show popped up in Bristol, CT. How random, I thought. I checked if it was doable for me, and it was! It wasn't feasible as a day trip, but still doable. And once I saw there was one FRONT ROW SEAT LEFT, the deal was sealed as I quickly bought the ticket and reserved a room at the only hotel I could find in the area, the Bristol Double Tree.

Fast forward to yesterday. I arrived in Bristol just after noon following an uber and FOUR different buses. I'd woken up way too early, I was hungry and tired, and not feeling too great. I decided food would be my first plan of action, and since I didn't quite understand how to order room service (the menu wasn't loading on my phone anyway) and there wasn't anything within walking distance, I decided to just head downstairs and eat at the hotel restaurant/bar.

As I was waiting for my impossible burger and fries, I decided to take off the Yakko's World hoodie I'd been wearing.

I bought it specifically to wear to the show, and I'd already spilled a little coffee on it this morning and didn't want to risk having to wash it again. So I tucked it behind me in the booth.

Shortly after that, another group walked in and sat at the table next to me. An older guy and some ladies. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I thought they were maybe a part of the wedding party I heard was at the hotel. My food came and I focused on that.

But then someone else walked in and joined them. Someone I very much DID recognize. "Oh there you are!" "Hi, I'm Rob!"

The next moment is kind of a blur so I'm not exactly sure whether I jumped a little or if I did the dramatic eyes widen slow turn, but I definitely had some kind of a visible reaction as I looked over to the table. It was then that I locked eyes with who at that moment I first realized was Maurice Lamarche, voice of Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) and many MANY Futurama characters (more than I realized as I learned later). He was the older man I mentioned earlier, and had been sitting there the entire time. And at that moment I thought perhaps he knew everything. (Both the fact that I recognized the new person who had just walked in, and the fact that I hadn't recognized Maurice himself until now.)

So I'm pretty sure I have at least mild prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it is hard for me to recognize people right away.

But there was something I could never fail to recognize, and that was the voice of Rob Paulsen, who was the person who had just walked into the room and joined the table with Maurice.

I'm not sure how they knew the women they were dining with, but they were all catching up, asking them if they were going to the show, etc. I listened a bit as Rob happily talked to them about the impact of the show and its fans. Such as how devoted fans would actually fly in to see them and how the average age of the audience was about 40 (hah ha... not yet but I'm getting there). He even mentioned Tress MacNeille at one point! Maurice was right in my view, but Rob was at an angle where I couldn't see him without turning my head but oh lord it was definitely him.

I had no idea what to do at this point. Do I say something? Do I not? Would it be terrible to just say hi and that I'm looking forward to the show??

I've been to a lot of events with voice actors in the past, especially in Japan, but I still just... cannot handle meeting famous people that I admire. Actually seeing them up close is intense enough, but actually TALKING to them? I don't know how anyone can do it.

I'm reminded of Amari in Idol Land PriPara, that episode where she meets Hibiki...

Yeah, basically me. For the people who visualize in their head while they are reading something, just replace whatever you imagine I look like with Amari and this story will fit very well.

All while this is all racing through my mind, I'm still shoveling french fries into my mouth while trying (and probably failing) to stay calm and act normal (even though I'm pretty sure Maurice is onto me) and I soon realize I've got a couple fries stuck in my throat (as often happens when I'm eating without paying attention, as I'm a very fast eater). I exaggerated a little in my previous post when I said I was choking, but it was hard to swallow and I realized I'd have to sneak off to the bathroom to deal with it without causing any more of a scene. I basically threw my credit card on the table and ran, though (which was dumb in hindsight, but I didn't want anyone to think I was dine-dashing).

In the end, after I came back, I decided to just quietly pay the bill and leave without saying anything, scrunching and hiding my Yakko hoodie the best I could. I didn't want to interrupt them during their private time, and for that reason I didn't try to take any photos or videos either. So I have no proof that this happened but it very much did.

And it made sense, I realized later. I already knew that the Double Tree in Bristol was literally the only hotel in the area, where else would they be!!?

After leaving the table I was so worked up I basically walked straight out of the hotel because I didn't know what else to do and headed to the Carosel Museum of New England where I killed at least two whole hours sitting on a bench looking at intricately carved 100+ year old wooden animals while nursing my exhaustion and caffeine cravings. (The museum isn't that big, I just literally did not know what else to do with myself.)

But I learned that most carousel horses are only decorated on the side that faces the customers. And since they were all hand-carved back then, the opposite side would often be carved by a less experienced carver in training or something. ISN'T THAT NEAT?

I thought that was neat.

Anyway.

Eventually I downed an energy drink I bought from a convenience store as I went on my way to the venue of the show.

I was still super early since I ran out of the hotel super early but there was already a crowd gathered outside. At first I didn't know this was the reason people had gathered, but the first 40 people to line up were eligible to sign up for a "meet-and-greet" with everyone after the show. And when I reached the front of the line, it was still open.

"Sure?" I said, not really fully understanding what I was signing up for. And so I headed inside.

The show opened with Yakko's Universe (SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG) and of course closed with Yakko's World as the finale. What came in between was quite random. Despite not being an actual cast member, the real star of the show was composer Randy Rogel. Rob of course voiced Yakko and his other characters, and Randy voiced... almost everyone else haha. Just using his own voice most of the time, but still. He sang as Dot a lot.

And it seemed like he picked the songs they played not necessarily by what songs were popular, but by what songs he and Rob had stories to talk about. For example, they did a bunch of songs from the failed show Histeria when Rob literally broke into tears (he was acting) while talking about how Randy had to actually, physically, go to a library to research the topics he was writing about back in those days. Randy also played an alternate version of the song LA DOT that had sat untouched in a folder for decades.

Rob's voice doesn't sound quite the same as it used to, as anyone who has seen the 2020 Animaniacs series would know, but he can still do it all! And considering he survived throat cancer, and came back to not only work again but sing live!? He sounds amazing!

Maurice Lamarche was also of course a part of the show, and although he only "sang" one song as Brain, his interactions in character as Brain with Rob as Pinky were probably the highlight of the whole show. (They did a whole "Who's on First" sketch talking about what countries to conquer, with Pinky misunderstanding "Hungary", "Turkey" and "Chili".)

Maurice also did a showcase of his voice, including so many other Animaniacs and Futurama characters I had no idea were him, not to mention frikkin Toucan Sam and the narrator of Lexus commercials.

The only thing that disappointed me a little about the show, was they didn't really do anything from the 2020 series, but I guess Randy wasn't as involved with the music in that. So, oh well.

I didn't take many photos/videos during the show, since I wasn't fully sure of the etiquette (still kinda have my Japan brain for these sort of things) and since I was in the front row I wanted to give them my full attention. I think there are plenty of videos online anyway, since at least one segment was one I'd already seen before.

So, after the show ended, people began to line up for the meet-and-greet, and it was then that I fully understood what I had gotten myself into.

Each of us would get about a minute to talk with them individually, get their signature, and get a picture if we wanted. I was really kicking myself for not bringing anything to sign! I really had no idea it would actually be an option! (In the days leading up to the show I had been looking at Rob's website where I noticed he normally charges $60 for an autograph, so I didn't think he would do it for free.)

But more importantly, I realized I was going to have to actually face them. TALK TO THEM. The exact thing I had run away from earlier in the day.

And again, I considered just running away. But I had taken a spot on that list. A spot that could have gone to someone else and it was too late to give away now. So, I told myself, I had to see this through. No matter what.

As the line inched closer I panicked over whether they would recognize me from the hotel or not as I rehearsed in my head over and over again all the things I could say. I was honestly juggling between two or three entire scripts by the time it was finally my turn and when realized... after all that...

I did not need to say anything.

Rob saw my hoodie ("It's me!") so he knew I was there for him, and he knew I was nervous. So he did all the talking. (After all, that is his job. Literally!) He took my hand and complimented my hoodie, my hair, and everything. He said so many nice things about me (I even got a "Hellooooo nurse!") and even broke the ice by introducing me to "his friend the Brain" so I got to shake hands with Maurice as well. (I STILL THINK HE KNEW. So I felt a little awkward then but other than that) it was just such a wonderful interaction. Rob was so nice and kind and I got the impression he really, really cares about his fans.

So I missed out on the autograph, but I did get a picture, and I left the entire experience feeling so warm and fuzzy and oddly complete. Childhood dream achieved.

It took me another four busses and an uber to get home today (I left around 8am, walked into my door after 4...) but it was all very worth it.

I'm mostly at peace with how things turned out, but if I ever get the chance to see them again, at a Comicon or whatever, I'll be sure to bring a Futurama DVD boxset for Maurice to sign and maybe try to acquire an old Animanics or Mask the Animated Series VHS for Rob!

You know, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is to meet and get signatures from famous voice actors in this country. That almost never happens in Japan. I mean, I'm planning to go to an actual Love Live concert in Japan next month, and here I am oddly depressed I can't fly out to Seattle to see Chiemi and Coco at Sakura-con instead because I might get to actually meet MEET them there haha.

Even though it would be another disaster if I actually did.

Hahah...

[ilikelookingatthings]

A adventure time thought

anyone else think about how the finn in the sword IS a valid Finn who then got knocked out by a weird grass demon which created the grass fin....and how we don't ACTUALLY know what happened to the finn within the Sword? just that grass fin disappeared and all that was left was a seed shapped sword....and how in the future we see the normal sword appear stuck in the tree that was grown from that seed..

....AND how technically the real Jake that was from a couple minutes before that matched that specific Finn was used to replace the old man that the Litch killed who's dream was Prismo...and how that Jake grew a beard and matched what the old man looked like when he took that nap?

and how it was mentioned the old man wakes every what? 1,000 or 100 years or something(just a long time)....

so TECHNICALLY....what happens if that Jake wakes up? will he reunite with the Finn who might still be in the Sword and who might be able to come out by that time?

If adventure time comes back we might end up following different characters who may or may not be the reincarnated versions of Finn and Jake.....but.......what happens if we end up following Finn and Jake again having adventures FAR in the future who technically ARE the REAL Finn and Jake who were just taken a few minutes before by the Finn and Jake we ended up following the rest of the show.

Exploring how circumstances and lessons can change you in different ways...like....did that Finn ever meet his dad or mom? We know he got a little more mature compared to the Finn on the outside while he was in the Sword...and unlike that Finn didn't have the crushing guilt from mishandling sword and grass Finn. How would he respond to humans if they are still around in the future? or about any of the legacy of the other version of himself and Jake?

would bubble gum still be there? we know Bimo is even though its been so long he's been getting their names wrong? would any remnants of Finn's mom still be their in the future for that version of Finn to find? would to them he me the remnants of am ancient human(like how we have thoughts about a caveman appearing from the past). is he known as a hero or a harbinger of doom since I'm pretty sure that creepy doctor gross that caused the plague was able to get in and cause more human issues now that the guardian is gone.

Would Finn's dad who went off with that cosmic entity be doing Shenagans and appear in that far future somehow?

How does reincarantion even work when part of you from the past technically still exists if you reincarnate? do you just share a soul? or is it just implied/fine because eventually everything with get shushed together eventually?

Would that Finn and Jake get to learn the lessons it took the other Finn reaching Death to learn but instead while he's younger and able to change now?

I mean it would KINDOF be like adventure time pulled and futurama....

would we get more deets about rainicorn and jake if she died in that future or would she still be alive since alot of entities can live for a LONG time or even out of time...how would Jake be treated by the generations of rainbow dog people? does that jake even know he has kids?

how would both of them feel if they find out what happened to get them separated from their original time?

and it was so long so would it even matter?

let alone the whole thing with Simon and the iceking.

I mean...would they have to face off against the litch again? or would that honor go to the ones they had reincarnated as or were them?

[valenshawke]

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS* TO GET TO KNOW ME

*Note: I'm not listing any anime here because I'm pretty sure most of you could easily guess eight and probably be right, it'd be the entire list of the actual 8 and HMs, and I consider it's own separate category.

Tagged by @consuelarubirosa. Thanks for the tag!

I'm adding commentary here cause... why not?

Futurama (Criminally underrated).

The X-Files (All these characters deserved more than what Chris Carter gave them and this is the hill I die on. Also was like the first show that was MY show and not anything my parents watched or would watch.)

The West Wing (First two seasons at least, definitely influenced how I try to write dialogue.)

Arcane: League of Legends (Have you all seen my blog since September? This tag is #4 most used among my fandom tags).

Law & Order (I'm listing this because watching Jack McCoy in my teenage years formed part of how I speak in public. And like, I never really could watch any of the spinoffs with any regularity).

Deadwood (Got me through grad school, especially those last 12 months. "Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.")

M*A*S*H (Also got me through grad school during the MA portion of it, even though I did watch it in reruns as a kid as well but man a lot of stuff went over my head as a kid that I got as an adult.)

The Wire (Seriously, watch this show people. Learned more from this show than some of my grad sociology seminars.)

Honorable Mentions because I want to and these shows also definitely mean a lot/influenced me somehow.

Leverage (Why didn't I watch this when it actually aired?)

Star Trek: The Next Generation (I actually did watch this as it aired originally as kid)

Red Dwarf (one of those shows a friend of mine practically ordered me to watch).

Get Smart (I watched a lot of Nick at Nite as a kid. Watching it as an adult, again, I got a lot of stuff that went over my head and recognize a lot of the guest stars like Don Rickles and James Caan.)

Airwolf (Okay. It wasn't exactly high art TV but the helicopter can only be described as sexy and it's where I got half my username)

Stargate SG-1 (FIrst four seasons were great).

And I'm tagging (no one is actually obligated to do this): @annawry, @byronicbi, @nivalingreenhow, @telekinetic-issue, @meilirima, @karinta-agogobell-unified and anyone else that sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged by me.

[rainey-staerie-daize]

This is a personal blog that I treat like a diary, except y'all can read it. I think plenty of the shit that happens around here is funny, and I like sharing. The other shit... I just need to get off my chest sometimes.

Oh, and I reblog plenty of stuff. I like memes and I'm in multiple fandoms.

The Staers of my stories:

Mom: 42F. Her existence has been getting on my nerves the last couple of years, and I'm sure I've been doing the same to her. I've tried in the past to connect with her, but I've basically given up now. Fucks are only given when some are also received.

Me: 23F. Autistic and severely struggling with suspected OCD. Probably went through gifted kid burnout. I cope with life by typing about it and taking a lot of pics. Sometimes things actually end up on Instagram. Currently trying to get my life together.

Skye: 18F, my only full sibling. The most entertaining person in my life. Queen of Crackhead Energy. Probably literally my best friend because I suck at keeping in touch with people unless I see them every day. So far, slaying life in ways I never did.

Bry: 15M, half brother with a different dad. Usually gaming on his laptop. Sometimes chill, sometimes has out-of-pocket jokes. Been kinda cringe lately.

Xan: 10M, half brother with yet another dad. The biggest brat of the household. If he were born a girl, it wouldn't be a stretch at all for him to have been named Karen. Has gotten violent before, but most often just screams. Some days, people simply existing around him sets him off. Especially Kare for some reason.

Kare: 8F, full sibling of Xan. Is nice to pretty much everyone, including Xan on a good day. Loves unicorns, farts, butts, boobs, and Mom.

"the littles": How the rest of us refer to Xan and Kare collectively. It's not "the twins" because they're two years apart, but they give Twin Energy sometimes.

Jerry/Terry: What I call my intrusive thoughts for shits and giggles. Often violent, self-harmy imagery that I don't ask for. Name came from Leela saying "shut up, Terry" in the first episode of Futurama, and I misremembered what name she said. I didn't remember that it was from Futurama at all, actually. Just the exasperated tone used.

Off-screen characters:

Dad, 71M. Was an eccentric dude. I headcanon that he was also autistic, and just never knew how to deal with it. So he was an alcoholic. According to Mom, also tried pretty much every drug except ones requiring needles. Was a fellow artist, making all sorts of stuff. Cheapskate, but still cared about Skye and I. Was cremated in 2021, and now resides on the bookcase in two different urns.

Alex, 42?F, older sister I've never met from Dad's first marriage. Heard she didn't like learning about me being born though. Currently lives in Texas. For all I know, she might be one of those Republican Karens. Has two sons I've also never met.

Ash, 21F. Kare and Xan's older sister from their dad's first marriage. Xan acts pretty similarly to her in the brattiness department, though he might be smarter academically. Haven't seen her since Xan was a baby. I wonder how she turned out.

My socials in case y'all want them:

Instagram

YouTube

TikTok

X

Steam

SideQuest

AO3 faveorites

[gibberishquestion]

Definitive tier list of Futurama characters based on their opinion of La Croix (whether or not they think it’s good or if they think it tastes like television static)

now these are the questions i live for. accidentally wound up dissecting planet express’s la croix habits

fry loves his super sugary sodas of course so he would be incredibly underwhelmed by la croix. especially the allegedly flavored kinds. he’d take one sip, spit it out, and in a panic to wash it out of his mouth, he would take another sip. this cycle goes on longer than necessary

leela drinks la croix semi frequently and everyone is later surprised to learn she actually hates it and was only toughing it out because she felt obligated by herself to. girl why are you doing this to yourself

bender cannot taste but he thinks the idea of “tasting like television static” sounds pretty good and you meatbags are just cowards

the professor loves it and doesn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t. frequently voicing this opinion and shaming the company la croix haters

amy can’t stop herself from buying flavors she hasn’t tried yet and getting her hopes up with no logic. okay maybe the orange one didn’t taste like anything but surely the tangerine one will?? endless loop of la croix disappointment

you know the cilantro ya novel parody post where the love interest thinks it tastes like soap but also likes it or w/e? that’s zoidberg with la croix. tastes like television static and he loves it

hermes likes it. no ifs or buts no fanfare he is the company’s resident la croix enjoyer

nibbler eats full cases of la croix whole.

scruffy likes it.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-6th Place

…

Can someone please explain how it is possible that #6 can somehow be one of the best shows in the 2010s, yet somehow it can also be one of the worst?

#6-Rick and Morty (2013-)

The Plot: A nihilistic scientist named Rick Sanchez returns to his daughter and joins her family to the dismay of...well, everyone else. The one who gets the most anxiety is Rick’s grandson, Morty, who ends up getting dragged alongside Rick on adventures across the cosmos and even the multiverse. From there, they face dangerous aliens, Rick’s old enemies, and even evil alternate versions of themselves. Not because those threats are a danger to the universe. It's because they’re just a pain in the ass to deal with.

Now that I got the plot out of the way, I want to take the chance to briefly rant about why Rick and Morty is one of the worst things that could have come to television. It has nothing to do with the show itself (far from it, in fact). The real reason why Rick and Morty is the worst has everything to do with its fandom. I know, I know. I shouldn’t use a show’s fandom to judge it. Because if I did, then half the series on this list would be blasted into the sun. But the Rick and Morty fandom is the one exception to that rule. Because unlike most toxic fandoms that stick with being a-holes to other people on the internet, the Rick and Morty fandom actually affects real life. They take quotes from the show that were fun to say and repeat them so much that those quotes become the most annoying words created by man. This fandom also drove McDonalds up a wall because Rick briefly mentions how delicious the Szechuan sauce was, and the “fans” ended up breaking McDonalds when they briefly brought it back. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more annoying than how these people react when someone says they don’t like the show.

You see, according to the fandom, “Rick and Morty operates on a higher form of intelligence that far exceeds all shows known to man. If you don’t enjoy it, then you’re just a big old dumb fjdlfjkdlfjoidsahjipfojewoitufd9gt9geijo parwfu9--” SHUT THE F**K UP! Ok?! Shut up! Just shut up! Because Rick and Morty is NOT the smartest T.V. show on the planet. It’s not even CLOSE to the most intelligent show on television. It’s smarter than most shows. I’ll give it that. But if you want to ask me which show was the most intelligent, I will more than willingly say Futurama. You know. The show is actually written by people with three PhDs and seven master's degrees. Hell, I’d be more willing to say that The Amazing World of Gumball is smarter than Rick and Morty. That’s right. I wholeheartedly believe that the show aimed for children-F**KING CHILDREN-is smarter than the show aimed for adults. And guess what, Rick and Morty fans! It doesn't require Stephen Hawking's levels of intelligence to enjoy the show. You can easily be a C+ high school student and still think the show is good. I should know because I’ve caught classmates who are C+ students watching the show while IN CLASS! AND THEY ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BRILLIANT! NOT BECAUSE IT WAS A MASTERPIECE SENT BY THE BIG GUY HIMSELF! BUT BECAUSE IT IS LIKE EVERY OTHER SHOW THAT IS AIMED FOR ADULTS! WITH LOW BROW AND HIGH BROW HUMOR, GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE, BUTT UGLY ANIMATION, AND CHARACTERS WHO ACT LIKE A**HOLES TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT ADULTS LIKE TO SEE ON TELEVISION!

>SCREAMS WITH INSANITY<

>Huff<

>Puff<

Man, that’s twice in a row when a show has nearly driven me to the brink of insanity. That can’t be any good.

…

Aw well. Not that I’ve got that rant out of the way, allow me to actually talk about the show itself and why it actually is pretty amazing.

First and foremost is the show’s comedy. While the jokes aren’t “brilliant masterpieces,” they are jokes that get you thinking from time to time. They also come pretty fast, so even when one dies, another funnier joke immediately comes after. This show also dabbles in two different senses of humor: Absurdity and being super dark. The way absurd and dark humor works are by giving viewers no other reaction other than laughing at a situation. Because how else would you react to squirrels running the government or the idea that Hitler cured cancer in an alternate dimension? I mean, other than being confused and disgusted by things such as that. This is why humor, like most things, is subjective. Not everyone will find the same things funny, and, understandably, they don’t. I personally can’t stop laughing in most episodes of Rick and Morty, but I would never verbally attack another person for saying something different. So chill the f**k out when a person says they don’t think the show is funny! Besides, other cool pros that come from Rick and Morty.

One spectacular thing is the show’s attention to detail. And I don’t just mean in terms of animation. The stories are pretty airtight most of the time, and rarely do I find a plot hole within. The best example is the twist in “The Ricklantis Mixup.” The episode itself is already pretty good, but having prior knowledge of the final big reveal leads to looking at specific scenes in a new light. As for the animation, there’s also great detail within it. Like in the background, to be more exact. The show goes out of its way to make each new world that Rick and Morty visits look as unique as possible, which should really be the goal for a sci-fi series if you ask me. And can we give a round of applause to whoever designs the characters in this show? I mean, the characters look hideous (which is something I never understood in adult animation. Seriously, who was the idiot that thought it was a good idea that you have to make your characters look as ugly as possible to be considered for adults?), but each character in this series--background and foreground--looks unique. Usually, most shows stick to having similar models reused and redesigned to give the illusion that the background characters are different. But in Rick and Morty? There is rarely a time when one creature looks the same as the other. And when they do, it’s usually for a purpose such as an alien species that looks the same or making an identical alternate version of Rick and Morty.

Speaking of, what is by far the best thing about Rick and Morty is...well, Rick and Morty. These two not only have a great dynamic, but they even have great chemistry with each other. Because whenever a show advertises its central hook being its dynamic duo, the same pair must have perfect interactions. And boy, is it hilarious seeing these bounce off of one another. Their synergy is always hilarious, and at times it can be surprisingly heartwarming. In fact, what I love most about these two is how they sort of learn from each other. Rick is still a nihilistic a-hole to those around him, but he seems to back off the most when he’s around Morty (most of the time). And while Morty still puts his foot down when it comes to Rick’s pure unadulterated...Rickness, he also has moments where he seems to share his grandfather's nihilistic views. I rarely ever seen this, as most dynamic duos keep their intended personalities to keep audiences entertained. And while I’ve heard fans complain about how the show makes Rick more human and Morty more like a Rick, I personally enjoy how much of an engaging character study these two represent.

Unfortunately, while Rick and Morty are easily the most intriguing characters in their series, they are also the only characters worth mentioning. Summer is fine, I guess, but most of the time, it feels like the writers aren’t sure what to do with her. Is she a slacker? A cliche teenage girl? Rick’s number one fan? I don’t know because most of the time, it feels like her personality is dependent on what the writers want in an episode. She isn’t bad, but some consistency would be nice. As for other characters, there really aren't that many who are worth mentioning. Most of them are either bit characters who serve the purpose of making a joke or are just one-off villains that our “heroes” face. Now there isn’t anything wrong with that, especially considering the latter. After all, when you watch Bugs Bunny screw around with someone who's wronged him, it’s always that Wascally Wabbit you remember the most. Still, I wish there were a couple more characters the show could invest in. And I know, last time I complained about a show that had too many characters. However, the opposite extreme isn’t that great either. Personally, I feel as though a series should have a moderately sized cast, where there are enough personalities to work off of, and you won’t have to recycle ideas you’ve used with the characters you already have.

And seeing as how we’re on the topic of characters, there are two individuals that I need to talk about. In fact, these two characters are easily the worst thing about Rick and Morty (aside from the fandom). Those characters are Beth and Jerry. Sweet mother of all that is holy, these two are downright insufferable! For some reason, the writers think it would be entertaining to have a married couple always argue and bicker with each other. It isn’t. In fact, every time an episode moves away from Rick and Morty and decides to focus on these two, the show’s quality plummets on a lot of notches. You’ll want to see them get a divorce. You’ll PRAY that they get a divorce. And (actual spoilers) when they finally get a divorce in season 3, do you want to know what the worst part is? They are somehow worse apart than they are together (spoilers over). And you can argue who you think is worse all you want, but to me, the worst character is easily Beth. I personally don’t mind Jerry all that much. At his best, he’s hilariously pathetic, has a great dynamic with Rick, and I legitimately feel bad for him when the universe seems to kick him when he’s down. Can he get a little grating at times? Yes. Absolutely. But while Jerry can be annoying, Beth can be a downright psychotic moron. She will willingly endanger her family, all in the efforts of pleasing a narcissistic a**hole of a father who consistently has a god complex. And when a person points this out to her, she will insult them and point out how “great” it is to have her father back again. Even though Rick didn’t seem like that great of a father anyway. It is physically and psychologically unhealthy for Beth to have these disillusions, and it isn’t until four seasons does she actually tries to show some backbone. Which I still don’t believe because it feels like it won’t last by how quick it is.

And seeing that we’re on my own personal hang-ups with the show, there’s one last topic that I want to cover. And it’s a topic that, to my knowledge, nobody else is bothered by. This problem affects me personally, and I want to give a word of warning to those who might not actually feel the same way. And that’s the fact that Justin Roiland is not the great of a voice actor that he thinks he is. This doesn’t mean he’s a bad voice actor because he's far from it. In fact, I can’t even hear the similarities between his voice for Rick and for Morty. But there is a problem: Justin Roiland has two modes. It’s either his normal voice or his high pitched voice. Both with minimal modulation, and it’s the latter that he seems to focus on the most when he voices 80% of the characters. The problem is that I not only think his high-pitched voice is annoying but with how consistently Roiland uses it, it will always break the immersion for me. Because I’m not hearing a unique character. I’m hearing Justin Roiland doing the same high pitched voice for nearly every character he voices. Just look at Seth Macfarlane and the characters he voices. You can tell it’s him, but he at least offers different modulations for each character (If you don’t believe me, then compare some of his famous roles with Justin Roiland’s).

While we’re still talking Justin Roiland’s acting, it’s also his improv that could use a little workshop. Now, for the most part, the improvisation is pretty good in the show. Like actual good improv, it feels natural within the dialogue exchanges, and you wouldn’t know until someone else points it out. However, there are times when Roiland’s improv can feel like verbal barfing. It’s fine when he voices Rick’s drunken rants, but for the Interdimensional Cable episodes? Yeah, needless to say, it can get a little noticeable. So noticeable that even the characters point out how blatant it is within the episode. Again, this is something that bothers me personally. To my knowledge, there isn’t anyone else who complains about this aspect of the show, which is perfectly fine. I just feel like other people should get a word of warning before they dive right in.

So is Rick and Morty the godsend of a series that surpasses all other television shows? F**k no. No series that has ever been made is 100% perfect. Not even the good ones. And if you disagree, then you are in denial over how many faults a show has. For instance, Rick and Morty have plenty of issues. There’s not that many likable characters, it has the worst cartoon couple ever with Beth and Jerry, and Justin Roiland needs to work on his acting despite being an already good actor. That’s everything wrong with Rick and Morty in a nutshell. But despite these problems, the show still has phenomenal attention to detail, hilarious comedy, and the best dynamic duo in recent memory. So while it isn’t the perfect show that its fans believe it is, it is still pretty damn good. And that alone is good enough for me.

(Just do yourself a favor and avoid joining the fandom. It’s already too late for those poor bastards who are already in too deep, but it isn’t too late for you!)

[maddie-grove]

Little Book Review: Once Upon a Maiden Lane

Author: Elizabeth Hoyt.

Publication Date: 2017.

Genre: Historical romance (Georgian).

Premise: After a surprisingly happy childhood in the St. Giles Home for Unfortunate Infants and Foundlings, Mary Whitsun has grown up and found a position as a nursemaid in a duke’s household. Reasonably content with her life, she’s shaken when Henry Collins, Lord Blackwell, mistakes her for the apparently identical Lady Johanna Albright. She’s even more disturbed when she learns that Lady Johanna has a long-lost twin...who was also betrothed in infancy to the handsome Lord Blackwell before she went missing. Is she the twin? Can she adjust to a new family and an aristocratic lifestyle? And is Lord Blackwell as kind and supportive as he is handsome?

Thoughts: There’s an episode of Futurama where Professor Farnsworth creates a bowler hat that gives a monkey super-intelligence. The monkey, Guenter, is unhappy with the pressures of being a genius, but he’s loathe to live as a regular monkey who tries to wear the hat on his butt. In the end, his hat is slightly damaged, leaving him with only moderate human intelligence. Instead of allowing Professor Farnsworth to fix the hat, Guenter happily chooses to attend business school. Spoiler alert: this novel is eerily similar. Mary ends up with more money, leisure, and family connections than she could ever expect as an orphaned servant, but she doesn’t have to enter high society (which she finds uncomfortable) or try to fit in with everyone in the family (some of whom are dicks). All in all, a good outcome. I just wish the road to it had been different.

I don’t usually have super-high expectations for romance novellas. It’s a difficult length to work with; many authors end up either trying to cram more conflict than they can handle or stretching a minuscule plot way too thin. When they’re part of a series or universe, they’re often more diverse than their full-length counterparts in terms of sexuality, ethnicity, disability, class, and age. This is a mixed blessing; I’m glad that they’re available, but it would be nice if lesbian characters (for example) got more full-length novels. Romance novellas have gotten better since I started reading the genre, but I still mostly think of them as nice little treats that you can have for the price of a bottle of soda. 

Once Upon a Maiden Lane falls squarely in this category. The working-class heroine isn’t a novelty for the series--her social status is higher than at least two protagonists of full-length novels--and I was a little disappointed that she was immediately slotted into an Anastasia plot. Surely a servant girl can have some small-scale romantic adventures without being mistaken for an aristocrat. Even putting aside my initial hopes, I think Hoyt should’ve emphasized Mary Whitsun’s relationship with Temperance, Lady Caire, more. In the first book of the Maiden Lane series, Temperance is a middle-class, non-Anglican* widow who helps run an orphanage with her siblings. She’s wracked by guilt for cheating on her late husband one time, so much so that she won’t allow herself to admit how much she loves Mary, a then-twelve-year-old orphan whom Temperance raised from a toddler. Part of Temperance’s arc is that she stops letting her guilt control her life and is able to be a better, more openly affectionate guardian to Mary. Temperance appears in this novella, but she’s a pretty distant figure, and I think that’s a missed opportunity. There’s more emotional resonance in Lord Blackwell standing up to his bullying father. I liked that part, but it shouldn’t have been the high point of the novel.

*It’s not clear what sort of Protestants Temperance and her family are, but it’s something that’s very charity-oriented and austere. Are they Methodists? I think it’s too early for them to be Methodists.

Hot Goodreads Take: “The constant use of the heroine's maiden name drove me nuts,” opines one reviewer, baffling me. Mary has never been married! She only gets married in the last chapter! Any last name she has is a maiden name! Does the reviewer just mean her last name was used too often? I guess it’s used a lot, but it is an important part of Mary’s identity, given that Temperance gave it to her after bringing her to the orphanage on Whitsunday. (The novella also gets this detail wrong, claiming that Mary was left on the orphanage doorstep instead of Temperance paying a gin-seller/bawd to hand her over.)

[ss-trashboat]

5, 9, 12, 19, 20, 29, 30, 33, 36, 37, 40, 43, 44, 49, 52, 53, 56, 57 ~ (for the nice asks, also i know theres a lot but lol dont care)

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? the kitties, the squad, my cousin, game grumps (tho lots of youtubers tbh)

9. who did you last see in person? my cousin and my aunt (the good ones) as i visited them yesterday

12. what is something you want right now? a week’s vacation but lol about that

19. have you ever been to New York? welp considering i live in new york LOL, but if this is referring to nyc then yes i’ve been there like. three/four times now? hopefully adding two more next year if this country can get it’s shit together but also about that 

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? thaaaaat would be this one

it’s so good and it makes me feel many things

29. favourite film(s) oof, ummmmm fuck there’s so many. treasure planet, captain america: winter soldier, the rocky horror picture show, mostly any tim burton film, most of the mcu, just so many tbh

30. favourite tv show(s) futurama, brooklyn 99, i don’t know i don’t watch much tv but those lol

33. something you want to learn i really want to relearn how to play the piano in the worst way, as well as learning how to paint cause painting is so freaking pretty

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 1. meet the squad. 2. buy a house/live in a house. 3. actually do something with my kids. either making it into a novel or a comic just. something with them to share them with the world

37. favourite actor/actress oof ummm. actor: chris evans, sebastian stan, and leonardo dicaprio. actress: i feel like this answer fluctuates so much, but kat dennings is usually one of the main answers cause i love her

40. favourite memory the baltimore trip definitely. even tho it started in disaster, it’s easily the best moment of my life. from taking the train for the first time, to my first hotel stay, to getting to go to a dream restaurant, and then seeing and meeting waterparks for the first time, which i can ramble about that for hours so i’ll hold off on that lol. it was just. so amazing. it fucked my sleep schedule and i got terribly sick but. easily the best moment of my life.

43. favourite song ever iiiiii don’t even know tbh. i love too many from too many artists that i can’t just. pick one oops ; ;

44. age you get mistaken for i believe the last one was when one of the work fam thought i was 19, but it’s usually 18-19

49. where i want to be right now gosh i don’t really know. i really wanted to go to baltimore again this year so i guess there

52. something i’m talented at drawing i guess? i don’t know?

53. 5 things that make me happy 1. my kitties. 2. squad/work fam/good fam. 3. waterparks/all time low (and other band babes but these are the primary). 4. the game grumps “sonic boom” playthrough. 5. futurama

56. favourite food(s) breakfast food, blueberries, peaches, mint anything, chicken, i’m sure there’s more but yeah

57. favourite animal(s) cats of all kinds, sharks, polar bears, platypus, penguins, i think those are the main ones

thank you so much for asking! actually nice asks ~

[eldritchsurveys]

735.

Do you judge books more by their cover, name, or description on the back? >> The final word in whether I’ll read a book or not is definitely the description, but a good cover art or interesting title often gets me to read the description in the first place, so. Have you ever asked someone what your voice sounds like to them? >> No. Which underwater creature do you find the most badass? >> I like that one shrimp that can punch real good. Where is your favourite place to get pizza? >> Jet’s, definitely. What was the last Disney movie you watched? >> Uh... probably Moana.

How do you usually find out what the weather’ll be like for the next week? >> I have a NOAA app on my phone that’s generally pretty reliable. What is the design on the nearest tissue box? >> I don’t have any tissue boxes nearby. Why have/haven’t you joined Twitter? >> I used to have a twitter, but try as I might I never got into the culture of that site. I eventually just deleted it. Are you good at rhyming? >> I guess I’m average at it. Will you be watching season 6 of Futurama when it airs? >> I have never watched more than a couple seasons of Futurama. Sometimes I think about watching more of it and I just don’t. It’s one of those shows that I’ll gladly watch if it’s on, but I don’t ever make much effort to actually put it on for myself. Have you ever done a run/walk for charity? >> No. When’s the last time you were woken up in an obnoxious way? >> Whenever I was last woken up by some environmental noise. Why do you/don’t you enjoy horror movies? >> I enjoy them because they explore concepts that I find familiar and interesting, I guess. Sometimes I just enjoy a ridiculous gorefest, though, so there’s that too. Has anyone ever applied your makeup for you? How did it work out? >> Yeah. Mostly it was fine.

Do you have any celebrity’s perfume? >> No. How well do you do at Scrabble? >> I don’t know, I don’t play it. Who is your favourite Scooby-Doo character? >> I don’t have one. Have you ever played or been interested in playing World Of Warcraft? >> I played it on and off for the past few years. I enjoy the lore and the stories, but the stories aren’t very well-told in the game itself because of how sloppily the game is constructed. ESO and FFXIV do a far better job of storytelling, but then again, they had WoW’s mistakes to learn from, lol. Basically there are things I enjoy about WoW and I miss my character sometimes, but the things I don’t enjoy about WoW make it hard to justify the fifteen bucks when I have three other MMOs (one of them subscription-less) I can play instead. How do you assume people judge you when they first see you? >> From what little data I’ve gathered, it seems people find me unapproachable when they meet me. What kind of cake/other dessert treat did you have for your last birthday? >> --- Who do you think does the best job at cartoon voiceovers? >> I think H. Jon Benjamin does a bang-up job. Does your dad wear a watch all the time? >> --- Has breast cancer ever affected someone you know? >> No. How much ice cream do you think you’d be able to eat before you got sick? Just a small bowl of it as it’s not my favorite dessert. I like taking my time to eat my desserts, so ice cream’s nature of melting in like 10 minutes just clashes with that quirk of mine. <-- Relatable. Do you have any unusual sleeping habits? >> I don’t think so. Do you know anybody under 40 with grey hair? >> I have grey hair and I’m under 40. I think it’s pretty common these days. Unless you mean a full head of grey, in which case no, I don’t know anyone like that. How well would your family do if you were on Family Feud? >> --- What is the latest time you’ve gone to bed in the past week? >> Maybe half-past midnight. Do you think you have the potential to be a good stalker? >> I’m sure anyone has the potential. It’s the motivation and the lack of scruples that’s the question. Why did you read the last book that you read? >> Because I wanted to.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Bob Snow & Francisco Angones

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Vaughn Tada, Brandon Warren

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

Don't eat the cake.

The episode begins with Scrooge noticing that something is terribly wrong. He checks through his manor, opening a few doors to see. Webby, Lena, and Violet are dealing with a giant beast, Mrs. Beakley and Dewey are messing with a tempest in a teapot, and, in what is specifically deemed "very wrong" by Scrooge, Della actually bonding with a child that isn't the blue one. Okay, he's actually reacting to how they're both dramatically shouting about being the Legends of LegendQuest, but that doesn't seem too out of character for Della. Maybe for Huey.

After checking the whole mansion he goes back to his room, and he notices his seat is occupied by a familiar face.

Goldie: Morning, Scroogie.

Scrooge wonders why she would be here, and Louie shows up to tell him he invited her in. This episode continues the Louie Inc plotline that we last saw in "The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!". That plotline left off with Louie having a choice for his company: use Scrooge's hard work, or will it be the choice that Louie would actually pick. That choice ended up being "team up with the untrustworthy frenemy of Scrooge". Louie sees himself as a professional, he can handle this!

Not even after the opening credits roll, we see that Louie couldn't handle it, as he gets locked into a chest. Louie starts crying, saying that Louie Inc was his dream, and he thought he can be as clever as her, even calling her his hero. Goldie sees through this "crocodile waterworks" pretty much immediately, but takes kindly to Louie's training in the art of cons. That, and she needed a kid for her next con: getting into a "septleventh birth anniversary" for rich families. Who’s the birthday boy?

It turns out to be this reboot's version of Doofus Drake's big birthday party. Oh boy. Admittedly, the annoying living fat joke being retooled into an awkward and spoiled rich kid with creepy tendencies isn't exactly a terrible punishment for our eyes. When I imagined the Louie and Goldie adventure back when that was teased, I never expected anything like this, that's for sure.

Going away from that, anyone can guess at least one of those things Scrooge McDuck closed the door on was going to be the B plot, and it's not about that beast or the tempest in a teapot. We learn that during her adventuring days, after Donald and Scrooge would go right to sleep, Della would play a video game called Legends of LegendQuest. Huey decides to join in.

I do like the subtle joke that the "very wrong" epic speech they were doing was during the game's really long loading screen, which takes until this scene to load 100%. I would hate to say I liked it because it was the only subtle joke in this B plot, but I have to say it.

The rest of this B plot takes place inside the game world. This isn't a case of a magical video game that sucks them in, they just happen to have avatars that look exactly like them with some subtle differences. Della is this strong warrior woman with a strong resemblance to Zero from Mega Man X, with what looks like a scouter from the early days of Dragon Ball Z. I am sure this show is beyond referencing that ancient "over 9000" meme.

Her son decided to go with the joy of being an ordinary farmer who farms under a giant force field, protecting his garden from the bugs that manage to get past it. The joke is that Huey is boring, but Della is fun! Huey kind of reminds me of that other red accessory wearing kid from the other show in this episode, and not the good version of her.

We see Doofus's party, filled with more Beagle Boys than one might expect. Sorry to say, they do not appear that much. He has all the party quirks that would fit someone of his obscenely rich and richly obscene personality. Instead of bobbing for apples, he has bobbing for splinters. His birthday cake promises that it's not full of hair. Even Louie starts to talk to himself about the obvious joke that it will lead to, until he and Goldie get distracted by the party bags filled with gold.

Louie tries to take one of those party bags, only for Doofus's parents, or "servants" as Doofus calls them, to slap his hand. These bags are meant for departing guests, and are filled with priceless heirlooms from his late Guhmeemama Frances.

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

Oh yeah, whenever her name is said in this episode and Day of the Only Child, they have to whisper to themselves her name. It gets a good payoff here in many more ways than one.

Louie tries to run off with two of the bags again, this time pretending to leave the party, only for Goldie to stop him this time. Apparently, she does not want Louie to be a bad party guest! Oh, and she wants all the bags. She also will not tell Louie her plan to do so, because he would not learn anything. Oh, and she doesn't know what her plan is. A lot of her dialogue is like that.

But enough about her way of talking, the "servants" announce that the "universe's perfect widdle (sic) angel" is making his grand entrance. A closed clam shows up, surrounded by angels. It's a scene very similar to a certain painting, and I really don't like where this is going.

Thankfully, they don't go with him barely covering himself up with a long blonde wig. Somehow, him just popping up right behind Louie is the second worst thing that could have happened with that. As he speaks about how seeing all of his guests with their loving parents reminds him of the only parental figure he knows, he sniffs that some of these families are filthy liars that only went to his party to get his gift bags!

One of those people turns out to be Percival P. Peppington, a guy that sort of looks like Willy Wonka and has at least enough money to hire Johnny, formerly of the Ottoman Empire, to pose as his kid. I looked Percival up, he's not a character from the comics, and he never appears again after this episode. Exposed, Percival ends up getting sentenced by Doofus to go into a trapdoor into his honey bin.

Percival: Don't you mean "Money Bin"?

Doofus: No. (hits button)

We never see this honey bin, but judging by the sound of bees and Randy's face when he looks down into the trapdoor, one would be wishing Doofus could just wish them into the cornfield instead. Thankfully, Doofus has mercy for the not-so-child actor, as he merely gets ejected via spring.

Seeing this, Louie whispers to Goldie that he can smell lies. He and Goldie will then talk about the plan to expose the two obvious phonies to Doofus, leaving them as the only people worthy enough to grab those money bags. They say this all out loud, because there's no way Doofus would hear them despite Louie's fear about him smelling lies!

It may be possible that Louie is heavily overestimating Doofus's abilities to smelling crooks, considering who those two phonies are and at least one of their plans. There's Glomgold, with a son named Sharkbomb that always seems to stay on his right arm, and Mark Beaks, who now has a son named Boyd. Clearly, one is way more unbelievable than the other. I mean, Mark Beaks having a kid? Maybe I'm underestimating how many fangirls he has. As he shows off his family selfies, all of them with his kid with the same exact face, he says this:

Mark Beaks: Yeah, I love this, uh, what is this, uh, uh, son!

This line outright blurts out that this son is completely fake, but anyone should expect that. Doofus does not smell this lie, as he just mentions that looking at his family selfies reminds him of his family memories.

This leads to Doofus sobbing and kissing his father's stomach, which happened to have a tattoo of his Guhmeemama...

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

...riding on a Doofus centaur. Maybe it is best not to ask.

Glomgold also shows off his own family photos, which are surprisingly more convincing than the tech guru's, and Louie has to think fast. Thankfully, a quick trip to a nearby photo booth and Louie's not-too-convincing smiles clears that up. How it seems like Louie isn't even trying and still manages to win just seems to weaken him to me, but don't tell that to Goldie, who now wants to go on the offensive. Who is the first mark? It's not Beaks, as much as they seemed to be setting up for that joke.

All of the guests get into the pool, not by choice, and Louie tells Glomgold he wants to talk to Sharkbomb alone. Glomgold decides to try his best at ventriloquism while he's underwater to expected effects. He tells Sharkbomb about how Goldie has the hots for his dad. It's cool to see that plot thread from "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!" get referenced, and that reference also interests Glomgold, who suddenly comes out from the water to ask if it's true.

He tries to cover it up by having his puppet son say "as if", only for Glomgold to take his own puppet son's words as an insult. Considering "Duke Baloney", this whole fight may have a bit more depth than one could see here. I don’t think it is intentional, but that is something.

Eventually, that fight ends with him beheading his own son right in front of Doofus' eyes. Needless to say, Glomgold's attempt to put Sharkbomb's head back on with his spit does not please the manchild of the day. Doofus decides to send Glomgold to the honey bin.

Glomgold: Don't let go, Sharkbomb!

Sharkbomb: Don't tell me what to dooo! (lets go)

Gotta say, Glomgold and Sharkbomb ends up being one of the highlights of the episode. Kind of wish we got to see more of them.

Instead, we get to see Mark Beaks and Boyd, the latter of which suspiciously doesn't want to put his head below water! Also, he seems to have the strength of a million and seventy men. I guess he really shouldn't complain. But I have a feeling he can't go out for a walk without rusting in the rain. I guessed this as soon as I saw him, anyway; it would be fitting for the tech guru.

Speaking of tech, they do cut back and forth between this party plot and the video game plot, and, unlike the last episode, it doesn't do any creative transitions between them. One minute, we're watching Louie plot his schemes. In the next minute, that plot pauses so we can see a close-up of Huey talking about how the fate of the land is in Della's hands...that land being the garden. The joke is that Huey is boring!

Unlike Huey's insistence on staying in his force field bubble and playing FarmVille, Della wants him to explore the world, go to a checkpoint, and use all of that XP he's getting from those bugs to become super-powerful. This is all a metaphor for Huey not wanting to leave his comfort zone even with his mother goading him to do so. How subtle do they make this metaphor?

Huey: Hey Mom? I think I should step out of my comfort zone.

By outright saying it. As an aside, being one of the adventurous nephews, is Huey really the person that needs this lesson?

Back to the more exciting plot, Boyd sure plays some mean pinball, and Doofus is taking a liking to him. Louie tries to find some dirt on Boyd, looking through Mark Beaks' Waddle profile and looking at all of the pictures with his kid. Ignoring how Boyd has the same face in every picture, the biggest tell that this kid may be a fake is that there's no baby pictures!

Louie: Where are the baby pictures? Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait!

Goldie: Click-what, now?

Louie's not wrong, and it's good to see one scam Goldie would never take a part in. However, they need something more obvious. Eventually, Louie gets one, as he gets connected to the Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid's Wi-Fi network.

Even though Goldie isn't tech-savvy, even she can recognize an acronym when she sees it. Not willing to outright tell Doofus about his new best friend being a robot, Louie decides to just ask the B.O.Y.D. what he did two days ago.

To make a long story short, it doesn't work out, as the B.O.Y.D. starts shooting lasers out of his eyes. Wow, I guess I can't avoid reviewing shows with laser-eye-using children.

Eventually, his fake eyes melt, and he ends up falling into the pool. Mark Beaks laments that he's going to need a big bag of rice right before he'll need something to wash off honey, bees, and whatever else is in the honey bin Doofus sent him to. Goldie is impressed, and sends some praise to her not-really nephew about how they should team up on a more permanent basis.

Doofus is really upset that his newest best friend had their eyes melted, apparently at least the second year in a row this has happened. Much like Calvin and Hobbes' "noodle incident" and whatever led to his father getting a tattoo of a centaur Doofus, one's imagination can fill in the blanks far better than even the mighty DuckTales writers could on how that could happen. Only a minute after that aforementioned praise...

Goldie: Llewellyn Duck, I am so disappointed! Ruining poor Doofus' party, trying to take all the extra bags by yourself! Who raised you?

(a minute later)

Goldie: Sorry, Sharpie, I only work for myself! I want you gone, mister!

Oh, Goldie! For reasons only Doofus seems to know, he decides to arrange that last plan with the help of the BOYD. He's able to do this thanks to him grabbing the phone that just happened to slip out of Beak's hands when he sent him to the Honey Bin earlier. Doofus presses the “Kill” button on the stolen phone, and the B.O.Y.D. rises up from the pool water, mostly unharmed. So much for needing the rice.

Doofus essentially does his “psycho rich kid” shtick again, saying that his party wouldn't be complete without him beating a pinata, and he wants to hunt the most dangerous pinata: man. As he controls the BOYD, we're left to wonder if Goldie will just take the money and run, leaving Louie to get beaten by a robotic kid.

Oh, of course Goldie decides to save Louie in the end, putting herself between the rapidly spinning bat and the "Sharpie". Doofus ends up saying this was all a test to see if Goldie could be a loving parent or not. This doesn't completely add up to the cover story, but maybe that was what Doofus actually wanted, as we'll soon see.

Meanwhile, in the video game, Huey finally manages to get out of the "comfort zone" by stepping out of it. This turns the force field off, causing an alien to zap it and kidnap his mom. He initially thinks that he should have just stayed in his comfort zone, but he then realizes he needs to save his Mom. He runs towards the checkpoint, and his level begins to rise. Or, as Della says...

Della: That power level... (scouter explodes)

Oh, dear.

Della: ...it's over 9000!

Well, I guess they were not above it after all! Do not get me wrong: I don't hate this, and at least the line still fits. Huey becomes a Super Saiyan God The Duke and destroys the alien monster with his raw fisticuffs. That's pretty much it for this B plot; it ends with a scene where Della has to wrestle the keyboard away from him because he was getting too "not comfortable". Eh.

In the A plot, we get to see the aftermath of Louie and Goldie's plot: Doofus gives Louie all of the gift bags, and Goldie's good parenthood gets rewarded by becoming the new Goldiemama.

Doofus's parents: Goldiemama.

Don’t worry, that’s not the only payoff, and the other one is so satisfying, one needs to watch the episode because I will not spoil it.

It should be obvious even from this episode that being that Goldiemama is not a pleasant reward to say the least, even without the glass dome Doofus is keeping her in. Louie, knowing this, fights with himself with whether or not he should just take the money and run. Goldie did just betray him a few minutes ago. Maybe it would be a deserved punishment to let that betrayer suffer by being in the Doofus household.

Oh, of course Louie decides against taking the money and running, and goes to the rescue of his Louie Inc partner. This was a turn of events about as expected as Goldie not willing to let Doofus break the living pinata. I mean, it's not like they're just going to shoot someone into the moon...okay, that was a bad example.

Actually, come to think of it, Louie Inc doesn't really come up in this plot. Considering a future episode, he would consider stealing a business opportunity, but he has to find some way to make it technically not stealing.

As standard for my DuckTales reviews, I am not going to entirely spoil the ending of this episode. While it shouldn't be much of a spoiler to know that Louie will not be rich at the end of this episode and Goldie will be rescued, there is a very pleasant scene to see for people who just want to see Doofus' parents get something good for a change, and to see Doofus finally get something he deserved.

I'll also show this: this episode ends with this oddly touching shot of Goldie slipping in one of the on-the-spot pictures of Louie, right next to a picture of dear ol' Scroogie. Awww.

How does it stack up?

At first, I didn't really like this episode, but repeated viewings did lead me to see some of the good of this episode. However, I couldn't shake off that I didn't really like the B plot. It's not the worst, but it's not great, either. The best part is that it's not the mama's boy this time.

Despite the good moments with Glomgold, and I did like the ending of the A plot, this episode didn't do as much for me as most episodes of this show. I'm not going to send it to the Honey Bin, though.

Next, a nightmare!

← What Ever Happened To Donald Duck?! 🦆 A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill! →

[sciencography]

It’s time to grow up

AppleTV jailbreaks, for those who were even aware of their existance, have always been seen as novel at best. And justifiably so! Compared to iOS the changes that can be made to your device are minimal. It should come as no surprise then that the single most common question we see when announcing a new AppleTV jailbreak is: Why?

Why jailbreak the AppleTV? For me the answer has always been the same, freedom. “This feature or behavior is missing from my favorite system on my TV or my phone, let me add it!” You may be motivated to tinker with your devices because you enjoy it and are passionate about contributing to a community that has such a rich history of drastically changing the ecosystem of a variety of Apple (or other companies) products. Our community had an App Store before Apple, we had copy and paste first, mobile notifier was a tweak Peter Hajas sold on the Cydia store before Apple hired him and a version of his solution became the de-facto way to receive notifications in iOS. 

Even pop culture has given at least two pretty awesome nods to jailbreaking:

Futurama in Attack of the killer App

Mom: The new eyePhone is wonderful. I use it to check recipes and send threatening e-mails to unauthorized third party app developers.

or Tiffy in Archer during Sea Tunt II

Eugene: Well, now there’s no signal at all.

Tiffy: Wow! Oh my God! I’m having the weirdest deja vu right now.

Eugene: Ya know….

Tiffy: Here, let me jailbreak your phone. It’s a totally reversible process. Oh, bricked it!

Awesome pop culture references aside, up to the present day a product like nControl came first (as did many things that made it into *OS 13, and even Controllers for All came before nControl), this helps me pivot to the next point. 

The availability of alternate 'jailbreak' stores throughout iOS history has always been a huge boon to the community and arguably is the main reason it still thrives. None of these stores ever adapted to tvOS, which gave us a fantastic opportunity to make one on our own. 

We have been, for a long time, and have fought through many challenges to get here, but:

WE FINALLY LAUNCHED THE tvOS APP STORE!!

I know, I know, it's 'old' news because I already announced it earlier this week on twitter, however, this is still the inaugural post to officially announce it anyways! 

nControl is the lone product right now, but in the very near future we will extend an invitation to *OS developers to join the party. We strongly believe tvOS has the most untapped potential out of any Apple device and we want your help to actualize this potential!!

Down to brass tacks, right now it isn't possible for us to accept other developers, most of the infrastructure is there, but not enough to open the door just yet. When this does happen we have some cool features that we think you will like, among them is ability to provide Package Discounts and Payout percentage calculation (two developers on same project). 

In conjuction with the next phase of the store launch (inviting more developers) there will be a FREE class I will be teaching ASAP to anyone who is interested in learning how to code for this platform. Varying levels of experience will be accepted! We will be offering ideas for commercial products, and will help you create them! 

Examples include: 

Picture in picture apps,

tweak to customize home screen style, 

quick jump to an app via remote button, 

adjust bitrate settings, add user profiles, 

deep save video position for later, 

web widgets via an iOS or Mac app to crop out just the useful part, 

dashboard for mail/weather/calendar events, 

Siri tweaks, 

audio enhacement (customized routing etc), 

VNC

Airplay FROM your AppleTV (similar to VNC idea)

Ad Blockers

the possabilities are endless! nitoTV had Pizza on Demand on the first generation of AppleTV sometime between 2007-2010, LONG before an App Store ever existed for the AppleTV, or before the nito.tv App Store was launched for that matter, its time for us to set the curve again.

Store Tutorial

NOTE: This requires a jailbroken AppleTV if you aren’t currently jailbroken head over to the wiki for instructions on jailbreaking with ChimeraTV

We use a 4 digit pin system (similar to plex and a variety of other applications) to authenticate an account you create with us. The payment processing is done through Amazon pay, which means an amazon.com account is needed as well as a valid credit card+billing address on record with them.

NOTE: Currently 2FA on Amazon accounts is not supported (OTP passwords are, but not 2FA). If you have that enabled on your account you will need to temporarily disable it to make purchases on the nito.tv store. We will rectify this as soon as possible.

Sign Up For Amazon.com account 

1. Sign up for an account on amazon.com (or sign in to your existing amazon account - they do our payment processing)

2. Add a valid credit card to your account (if you don't already have one)

3. Make sure your credit card has a billing address associated to it, or you will not be able to use it.

Sign up for Account on nito.tv

1. Sign up for a brand new account 

2. After you sign up you will receive an email with a link to verify your account works. If you do NOT get this email, send an email to jaywalker@nito.tv and he will get you sorted out. (a message like the one below will advertise said email)

3. Click the link in the email and then you should appear back at nito.tv with a similar page. notice authorized is circled, you can click that link now to get ready for the next step on the AppleTV itself

3. Open the nitoTV application on your AppleTV and navigate to Settings -> Accounts -> App Store - > Sign In

4. At this point you will get a screen with a 4 digit code to enter on another device with a web browser. After entering this code you will be signed in to the nito.tv store.

5. That's it, you should now be able to purchase items!

Conclusion

Time to circle back to the question of 'Why jailbreak' It may seem like I never directly answered the question. Here's a direct answer, the future. Right now there isn't a ton of earth shattering reasons, I think nControl is awesome, and I also think its a better fit for the AppleTV than any other Apple device. Maybe games aren't your cup of tea, outside of AirMagic a few assorted tweaks and freedom, there aren't a ton of answers that will fill an immediate need for an answer, the store can help catalyze this community to grow into what it has the potential to be. I know the pieces fit. The metamorphosis is almost complete, it’s time to for the AppleTV to discard it’s awkward phase and to become an adult.

[acaseforpencils]

The Ink Well Foundation.

The Ink Well Foundation is a non-profit that helps bring smiles to the faces of children facing adversity such as illness, neglect, and abuse. I cannot begin to express how big of an honor it is to have Elizabeth Winter on Case—this interview brought me to tears, and it means a lot to share her message on here, so that you all can help more children in need to be able to connect with this incredible foundation.

Bio: I am the Founder and Executive Director of the Ink Well Foundation. Growing up, I had cancer my entire childhood—it was a rare cancer that kept getting misdiagnosed, which meant a fair amount of biopsies and days in the hospital, and finally major surgery where I was told I might wake up without a leg. I am very fortunate in that the doctors were able to remove all the cancer without amputating, and I have been cancer-free since I was about 20 years old. 

That experience gave me a lot of empathy and compassion for kids facing long, isolating hospital stays. There were also other issues during my childhood: I experienced a lot of abandonment with a mother who just could not play the role of mother, and who eventually died when I was fifteen. In general, I just had a pretty severe lack of affection and emotional support growing up. All that made me very tough, in some ways too tough and it wound up creating only further isolation and pain. 

As an adult, I saw that pain mirrored in other children's eyes and I began to seek out a way to connect with them, to help them and myself learn to nurture and heal together. I strongly feel that genuine human bonding can fuel both physical and emotional healing. I also think getting out into nature and carrying that same respect to all wildlife helps us to become humble and connected in a very powerful way, so we stress those ideas in our work often.

In 2005, I was working in animation in New York City, and I stood up in a meeting at work one day, and asked if any of the other artists would like to come along with me to draw with kids facing illness and hardship. A couple people raised their hands, and we went together to Gilda's Club out in Brooklyn (that club house has since closed, but we still go to the one in Manhattan). The artists who came along in those early years, like Rami Efal and Ray Alma, Pedro Delgado and Sergei Aniskov—those people are all still volunteers today! That says so much to me about the kind of people this work attracts. We've all become like family over the years and I love those guys so much. 

It all began at Gilda's Club, but then I reached out to places like the Ronald McDonald House, St. Mary's Hospital and Bellevue Hospitals, and we slowly but surely became accepted and welcomed at healthcare and at-risk support centers all across New York, because the kids loved what we did, and at then end of every event they were begging us to come back. So we always did! That is the true mark of success for me every time, when the kids are yelling at us to get back there as soon as we can.

A few years ago, I learned about the great organization on the Upper East Side, The Society of Illustrators. Their Executive Director, Anelle Miller, connected me with all these other great artists like Stefano Imbert, Bil Donovan, Abby Merrill, and Elana Amity (who is now our Event Director at Mount Sinai Hospital, where she hosts a monthly live drawing call-in show that beams to all the kids' hospital rooms at once). They draw along with us and call or text in with questions and comments. It's hilarious and adorable. We also connected with the great people of the National Cartoonists Society, and wonderful artists like Ed Steckley, Adrian Sinnott, Howard Beckerman, Tim Savage, Marty Macaluso, Joe Vissichelli and so many more. 

After MTV Animation New York shut down, pretty much all my colleagues and I from great shows like Beavis and Butthead, Daria, The Head, and Celebrity Death Match all moved out west. So I had this great group of talented friends still living there, and based on the Ink Well's popularity in NYC, I thought, let's give it a shot there too! I reached out to my former colleague from Rugrats and Wild Thornberrys, Joseph Scott, and asked if he'd be interested in running things there. He is now heading up all our operations in L.A. and he is just the most phenomenally kind and talented person on earth. With his art skills he could do whatever he wanted but he devotes a huge amount of time to the kids we work with and I'm so moved by his giving spirit and boundless good energy. And Michael Daedalus Kenny is also stepping up in a leadership role as our newest Event Director, we've got amazing artists like Marla Frazee of Boss Baby genius, Monica Tomova from SpongeBob, Jeanette Moreno, king of The Simpsons, Chris Harmon from Futurama, Ashley Simpson from Phineas and Ferb, Christian Lignan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, graphic novelist, Jeremy Arambulo and so many others so we're in great hands there. I just wish the traffic weren't such a problem! It really is tough to get around that city, unlike NYC where there's a decently functioning subway that goes to all our locations, so getting around is no real trouble comparatively.

Tools of choice:  Our events are usually very handmade by design so that the kids can feel like they could do all of this easily by themselves. So we come up with themes like, “Who is your Superhero?,” and we ask the kids to focus on their strengths and what superpowers they wish they would have, and we draw their portraits as such. We are not art therapists, but we feel these event themes help to make the kids focus on positivity and their potential, and therefore help them to bond and heal. 

We do sometimes get more elaborate, like when we teach stop motion, claymation, and we once even taught them how to build homemade rockets on the roof of Bellevue Hospital! One of our Event Directors at the time, Nathan Schreiber, used to come up with the most fantastic science-focused events. He now runs a company called Science Ninjas, that helps kids learn about science with fun card games. But usually it's simple by design.

We are extremely fortunate to have Blick Arts as a sponsor. Their support enables us to provide each child with their own art kit after each event so that they can keep creating on their own after they learn new skills with us so thanks to them we have a lot of the arts tools we need.

Tool I wish existed: I think we do great working with anything we've got lying around- we emphasize the potential of just about anything to become art: we often create characters out of inanimate objects, make flip books, sculptures and puppets— using everything from card stock to socks to toothpicks and gum drops. We keep it accessible and inventive. 

How can we support The Ink Well Foundation? Because our volunteers are by definition "the artists behind the kids' favorite books, films, comics, and TV shows," we don't solicit volunteers from the general public. We do have an online application on our site, so other professionals that meet our criteria in the illustration, animation, and cartooning industries are welcome to apply there. 

What the general public can do is to help us spread the word so that more children can see that others are going through what they're going through, and also so that they see examples of adults believing in them and encouraging them. We try to promote the idea of art as self-expression and a way to get through trying times, ideally together. Connectivity and encouragement are critical to healing, and honestly, to just building a better world. So we talk about that a lot on our social media and at the events themselves. We also honor the kids' intelligence by talking about art in general there— we highlight classic and new artists and ideas and encourage them to learn from those masters as they develop their own skills.

Because we are a very small 100% volunteer-run organization, we focus on giving the kids the greatest events possible, and sometimes that means we don't have a lot of time for social media, self-promotion, and fund-raising. So spreading the word is huge and we are always extremely grateful for, and in need of, any financial donations. 

Where are Ink Well Foundation events held? We operate in New York City and Los Angeles because that's where the top artists in our fields are concentrated. We go to hospitals and at-risk support centers like Ronald McDonald House, Gilda's Club, Bellevue, St. Mary's, Mount Sinai, Childhelp, Covenant House and more. You can see the full list here. 

How can children who don't live near Ink Well Foundation events benefit from your Pen Pals Program? This is another reason we want people to spread the word. Loved ones of a child experiencing serious illness or hardship, who is physically or geographically unable to attend our events, can apply to have a special artwork sent straight to them. We ask the kids what their favorite animated films, TV shows, or illustrated books are, and then we have an artist who actually worked on that production make something tailored to that child. We then frame it up, and send it off to them by mail. 

We've done this with artists from SpongeBob, Captain Underpants, and just a week ago, we delivered a beautiful drawing of Curious George that our Event Directors, Franz Palomares and Lisa LaBracio (both of whom worked on Curious George) lovingly made. This was for a girl named, Maryanne who lives in Florida. She suffers from a rare disease called, vein of galen malformation that has led to brain damage and vision loss. She is unable to talk or walk or eat through her mouth and she suffers seizures but she understands everything around her, and she can feel texture. So Franz and Lisa made her Curious George playing in a sand box, and they glued real sand into the picture, so that Maryanne could feel that, and enjoy the art on multiple levels. Maryanne's mother, Sandra, said that she was thrilled, and that she loves to hold it. 

Our hearts are full being able to share these works with kids who need that moment of light, and that knowledge that an adult they admire, someone who doesn't even know them well, can care enough about them to take the time to create careful, tailor-made artworks just for them. We hope that helps to bring a smile in the moment, and build self-worth long term.

Misc. I'd like to mention that everything we do is 100% free of charge. No one gets paid, no money ever changes hands for the art. We have brilliant artists like Peter de Séve who is on our board and attends many events, while also creating characters for Ice Age, The Little Prince, and all his New Yorker covers. He could get a mint for his works, but he comes down and does this for free, and that's a testament to the power of that loving connection we all feel when we are just selflessly helping one another.

I feel this most acutely when I'm working with youth who have suffered abuse and neglect. We have an Event Director, Jane Archer, who leads our work at Bellevue Hospital. Many of those kids are there because they have been through unendurable trauma, and Jane connects with them beautifully. She begins with a meditation where we all envision our strengths together, we talk about our talents, and hopes for a brighter day, we imagine embodying those gifts and then we gently, patiently, ask the kids to help us draw characters step by step. Many kids start out very suspicious and resistant, even angry. But by the end of the events they are almost always laughing and teasing us, and they don't want to stop creating. It is my greatest joy to experience that transition and I hope we may continue to spread this support and faith in one another for many years to come.

Website, Etc: 

We are @inkwellkids on every platform:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

Twitter

Find more posts about art supplies on Case’s Instagram! There is a Twitter as well. If you enjoy this blog, and would like to contribute to labor and maintenance costs, there is also a Patreon!

[cerastes]

HEY DRIMO it's been a while since you did a big myth post so how about you tell me a cool story about my boi karna

Oh dear me, Hindu mythos, damn, ok, so, first rule of Hindu mythos is that you all have to wear your seat belts while reading this. If you don’t, you are susceptible to immense physical and spiritual damage, enough that it might kick you right out of the cycle of reincarnation, and then the Mythos Retelling Collective (MRC) will revoke my license due to Irresponsible Sharing of Intense Tales (art. 23847). Are you all strapped in? Y’all got your helmets? Alright alright, let’s get this show on the road.

SO, KARNA. I assume most of you are familiar with Karna having Big Strength and being god damn unkillable. Ok, so, it goes beyond that. It goes at least three Milky Ways in width beyond that. Originally known by his other name, Vasusena (and this dude has like 14 different names), Karna is the main protagonist of the Hindu epic, Mahabharata, and–

Oh, right, before I can tell you anything about the Mahabharata, or about Hindu mythos in general, I need to explain power levels. So you know how in Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Vegeta and Nappa use “Raditz” as a unit of measure for power levels and ki? “My power level is 500 Raditz.” “My power level is 23000 Raditz”, the joke being that Raditz was such a weak grunt that his meager total power can be used as a unit as you would with centimeters? Ok, this is actually canon in Hindu mythos. They have a scale of power levels, referred to as “Levels of Warrior Excellence”. The levels are:

Ardha-rathi: The lowest level, meaning literally “Half of a Rathi”. Read the next section for a more elaborate explanation, but this is Yamcha-tier, basically, the weakest of the badasses.

Rathi: It almost sounds like Raditz, doesn’t it? Well, Rathi is the unit by which all the other levels of Warrior Excellence are measured, as well as a rank by itself. A Rathi is an individual so powerful and skilled, that they can do battle with 1000 regular warriors simultaneously. This is the “Dynasty Warriors Playable Character” tier: Strong, but still susceptible to frames per seconds drops and getting stunlocked by arrows.

Atirathi: HERE is where things get spicy. An Atirathi is a warrior that can fight with six Rathi simultaneously. This is the level of strength possessed by Kevin by the time of Home Alone 2.

Ekarathi: You thought six was impressive? TRY EIGHT RATHI SIMULTANEOUSLY. We are entering Popeye-with-spinach levels of world-ending strength now.

Maharathi: The top level, the cream of the crop, the true definition of “Fuckhouse”. Those who reach this level are immensely powerful, and can do battle with 12 or more Rathi simultaneously. That is 12000 asses worth of whoopings. This is where you favorite Touhou is, obviously, and fuck what everyone else says.

Their measure of unit is basically “How many thousands of dudes can this person fight, or how many people that can fight a thousand people at once can this person fight?”, which, in other words, means that India has not fucked around a single day in it history.

So you might be wondering, “where’s Karna in all of this?”. Well, Chili Con Karna is SO MINDBOGGLINGLY STRONG AND SPICY that he is, literally, a Double Maharathi. Karna is stated to be “in terms of strength and skill, equal to two Maharathi warriors”. These peak jokers made this elaborate power level chart just so they could say “AND KARNA IS DOUBLE AS STRONG AS THE STRONGEST”. He is Two Gokus. Karna could literally look at you, without the laser, and you would just be atomized, restructured, and atomized again in the span of minus three seconds, and you would thank him for it. And damn RIGHT you would thank him for it, because he probably didn’t mean to do that to you. That’s because Karna, despite having more powers than Superman and God combined, is the Ultimate Good Boy. This dude is Puppy Kiss Central, this dude chips in on Pizza Thursday every week, and makes up for those who didn’t chip in. Karna lets you take the last chicken nugget. Karna lets you use Player 1 when you hang out at his place. Karna tells you to text him or call him once you get home after hanging out and he gets worried if you don’t. That dashing guy you saw doing volunteer work at the homeless shelter the other day? Probably Karna. The owner of Old Friends Dog Sanctuary? Definitely Karna.

He’s GOOD.

And that’s why the Mahabharata is so painful: I don’t speak Hindi, but I am pretty sure “mahabharata” translates directly to “Karna Has Bad Day :(”. Today, we’ll be talking about Karna’s Three Curses, with a little bit of his childhood for context on the first one, and because I just want to talk about his dumbass mom. Also that one time he clowned Arjuna and Planet Fucking Earth got mad at him.

SO, there was this lady named Kunti, princess of the Kunti Kingdom (yeah), and this one time she was the host to a sage named Durvasa, who was visiting. She is a most Excellent Host, and provided Durvasa with the best of services, the most delicious food, the most luxurious of drinks, and every volume of Detective Conan, and Durvasa was so stoked at this 10/10 Would Come Again service, that he gave Kunti a special boon: With a mantra he taught her, she now had the amazing power to get knocked up by any deity of her selection. Kunti was really happy with her new pregnancy powers, and couldn’t wait to try them out, so she did to call upon the Sun God Surya, and guess what fucking happened: That’s right, fucking happened. It was a violent and intense cyclone of sex so kinky that the baby was born with armor and earrings (in some versions, Surya “handed” the child to Kunti, but in others, which I opt to believe, Kunti bore his child, and his fat solar load was so powerful that the fetus was armored). And then Kunti was like “oh fuck it worked lol but I am not wed” and since she didn’t want to be an unmarried mother (refer to Hindu tradition for this one), so she did like many other Mothers In Mythology and she put Armor Baby on a basket and set him afloat on the rivER LIKE A REAL KUNT, IT WAS IN HER NAME ALL ALONG, WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES KEEP DOING THIS.

THE REST IS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS IS TURNING LONG.

Like many other Babies In Mythology, Armor Baby was found by someone, this someone being a charioteer named Adhiratha, but not just ANY charioteer, this was the chief charioteer of King Dhritarashtra, who I hope will forgive me if I wrote his name wrong, and was adopted by the charioteer and his wife, Radha. Armor Baby was given a name, Vasusena, and his pet name was Radheya among the locals. Being born an armored baby, it should come as no surprise Vasusena was interested in the military arts, and so he approached this really cool dude named Dronacharya who taught princes about warfare, BUT Drone told the armor kid to fuck the off because he only taught Kshatriyas (the military social caste in Hindu culture), but he was very impressed by Vasusena’s guts because this shit ass kid more or less just strolled into his house and said “HEY TEACH ME HOW TO BE A BADASS”, so he suggested to his father to change his name to Karna, which means “one who peels his own skin”, as a reference to his guts and totally not any sort of foreshadowing to anything NO SIR WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT.

So ok he got a cool name and whatever, bUT SEE, he still got told to fuck off, which he DIDN’T LIKE, so Cartman, not one to be daunted, sought out Dron’s own teacher instead, because fuck you, that’s why. So Kane finds him, name of Parashurama, and asks him BUT FIRST he disguises himself as a Brahmin, because Futurama only teaches Brahmins, and Karlos was not gonna make THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE. Panasonic agrees, seeing potential in this Double Goku kid and so begins the training arc. Result: Parashurama proudly announces that Karna is his equal in the art of warfare and archery. All this heaving and hoing gets my man Parmesan tired, though, so Karna, ever the good boy, offers his sensei his lap so he can sleep, sensei says fuck yeah and he uses his lap pillow. While he is sleeping, however, a very angry bee goes and stings the hell out of Karna’s thigh, but he’s got his sensei on his lap, which is like when you have a cat or a puppy on your lap and it falls asleep and you do not DARE move. So he didn’t, and this leads to a very important lesson to be learned in the Mahabharata: NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. When he woke up, Parashurama saw the wound and the blood that flowed from it (and from this, I take bees in India are Cazadores from Fallout New Vegas) and immediately realized that Kane was NOT a Brahmin. This lie meant he had ILLEGALLY STOLEN INFORMATION, and so he cast a curse on Karna that made him forget everything about how to wield the divine weapon Brahmandra-astra, an immensely powerful divine weapon he learned to use, but Karna pleaded to please be reasonable, at which point Par realized, hey, maybe this is kinda excessive and impulsive, so he reduced the curse to make it so Karna would only forget it when he needed it the most against an equally powerful warrior, which IS NOT ANY FUCKING BETTER, and then he felt EVEN WORSE because Karna had basically been his best student ever and is a Good Person, so he gave him his own divine weapon, the Bhagavastra, as well as his bow, Vijaya. I mean, you could’ve just. Undone the curse. But hey. New weapons!

So Karna, a dedicated and excellent archer, was VERY HYPED to try out this new legendary bow he had come to own! There’s a thing in Hindu martial arts called “Shabdavedi Vidhya”, the art of hitting a target by detecting the source of the sound. What Karna didn’t consider is that shooting things by just detecting their sound, you know, means you are not REALLY LOOKING AT WHAT YOU ARE SHOOTING, but hey, like eager-to-try-new-toys mother, like eager-to-try-new-toys son. Three guesses as to what happened. You are RIGHT, HE SHOT A FUCKING COW. And it’s not with a little arrow or a harmless stick, this was with the Vijaya, which means that cow was obliterated off the face of this god damn planet. My dude was practicing “shooting at sounds” with a tactical nuke launcher. What the tits did he expect to happen. SEE, I’m sure you know, but shooting cows in India is not exactly something you just apologize about. But Karna, albeit not the brightest crayon in the box, was still Ultimate Good Boy, so he went to apologize to the owner of the cow, who happened to be an actual Brahmin who had performed the Agnihotra rite daily, which made him extra holy. Brahmin, of course, was pissed, and since apparently people in India just have a full moveset of curses ready to sling at a moment’s noticed, cursed Karna AGAIN, with this curse being “fated to die a helpless and callous death”. Not the best series of days for Karna. He could’ve just walked away, but he’s a Good Boy, so he had to take responsibility. NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

So I want to call attention to this bitch of a life for a second: Baby is born because some cunt used her super pregnancy powers to see if they worked without considering the consequences of, you know, getting super pregnant, Baby is chucked into a basket and sent to fuck off on the rapids, is picked up, immediately tries to enroll with a fighting master, instead enrolls with a SUPER fighting master that taught the previous fighting master, and gets double cursed for being a good boy and having bad trigger discipline.

Now, let’s skip a couple of chapters, and we arrive at the moment where the Pandava princes, all demi-gods, hosted a “tournament” of sorts to show off their skills to the people and to their guru, Drona. They were all having a good time, being badass and superpowered WHEN SUDDENLY Karna shows up and arrogantly challenges them because he knows he can do better, from what he has seen. One of the princes, Arjuna (kept you waiting, huh?), who was regarded by Drona to be the most powerful and skilled on the Pandava, told him to maybe fuck off, and that they couldn’t compete because they were above him, as his caste was no doubt lower than theirs. A certain pair of ears DID NOT LIKE THIS and jumped to Karna’s defense: Duryodhana is the name of the owner of said ears, and he’s got Authority. How much of it? Well, he just up and named Karna King of Anga then and there, just so he could compete. Holy SHIT. Now, see, Duryo hates the Pandava. Duryo REALLY, REALLY HATES the Pandava, and he was 100% behind supporting this random stranger if it meant he could possibly maybe humiliate these ugly sumbitches. Maybe. Ok, see, here’s where it gets a bit weird, but depending on who tells the tale, Duryo and Karna actually already knew each other and were childhood friends, but most tellings make this their first meeting, and I am absolutely on board with that, because it only goes on to show how much Duryo hated the Pandava, and divine people in general. He just fucking HATED gods, man. Can relate. So Karna goes and UTTERLY OUTDOES AND UPSTAGES the Pandava princes. Outright beats all their highscores and writes “ASS” in the 1st Place billboard on each entry as his name. They are all FURIOUS at him, especially Arjuna, who had aced every single event, and now had to wear a nice 2nd place on all of them because this absolutely nobody (no one knew Karna was the sun’s son yet) showed up and utterly pulverized them. This also starts his relationship with Duryo, with whom he’d become fast, and eventually, best friends.

BUT, SEE, HE KINDA GOT MADE A KING, SO HEY, HE HAD TO GO, UH, TEND TO THAT. He was checking his brand new sudden kingdom, when he came across a WEEPING CHILD. If there is one thing Ultimate Good Boy can’t stand, that’s the tears of children, so he approached the girl and asked what’s wrong. See, the girl had accidentally dropped her ghee (kinda like butter but less dense) and she was going to get her ass whooped by her step mother. Karna kindly offered to buy her new ghee, but she said it had to be THAT SPECIFIC ghee with the dirt on it, and that she didn’t want any other. Karna, in his infinite kindness, said “oh, sure, lol”, so he grabbed the dirt and squeezed it with all of his extremely godly might, extracting the ghee back into the jar as if squeezing water out of a sponge, because that’s just the kind of solution you come up with when you are the strongest person in Ever.

hey

hey

you guys remember what I said a while ago?

WHY YES

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

Guess what happened. Guess whose anger he incurred. He got Bhumi Devi/Mother Earth herself pissed at him. And what was her beef, you ask? Well, see, Karna squeezed that soil SO DAMN HARD that she took offense. Yes. Really. And guess whSHE FUCKING CURSED HIM TOO, OH MY GOD, CEASE THIS, YOU CAN’T JUST HEX A DUDE FOR SQUEEZING DIRTY, COME ON. The curse this time was that she would one day trap his chariot’s wheel during a crucial moment in his life. All because that little girl wouldn’t make do with a new jar of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

WORST. WORLD. EVER.

And guess how Karna dies.

Yes.

His chariot’s wheel gets trapped on the earth (third curse) during a crucial confrontation with Arjuna, he attempts to defend himself with his astral weapon, but forgets how to conjure it (first curse), and is decapitated by a shot of Arjuna’s Gandiva as he helplessly leans against the chariot’s wheel, unable to free it (second curse).

The moral of the story is don’t fucking help anyone, ever, and don’t own up to your mistakes, because if you do, you’ll be triple cursed.

                                                                                       Karna deserved better.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

We Should Honor Their Memories, But Let New Voices Still Form

Kirby Morrow Who Voiced Cole in Ninjago Pilot Episodes & Season 14. I had just found out about it, and I didn't know he had died, I decided to look it up and it says that he died on November 18, 2020.

we know that Bulma's Original Voice Actress, Hiromi Tsuru, had passed away a few years ago.

even if a character gets a new voice, there will always be a special place in the heart for the one who gave them their first voice. which is something that Louis Prima's widow/wife, should of learned a long time ago. just because King Louie gets a new voice, don't mean Louis Prima wont still hold a special place in everyone's hearts.

we can think of how Toons get new voices, from a Toon Voice Factory,

where they get a new voice.

the reason why Wylie Coyote doesn’t speak now, but have spoken in the episodes that had him in a Cartoon with Bugs.

might have to do with he never had a permanent voice actor.

Toons who were never given a voice, only speak with signs,

or some can speak in sign language.

even if  Louis Prima’s wife has a right to her feelings, one of them being missing her husband but did doesn’t mean she was in the wrong with some stuff that went on that has to do with King Louie.

I really didn’t know that Kirby Morrow, who was Cole’s voice in the Pilot episodes and even Season 14, had died.

I don’t know how many have found out about it before me, but I guess a lot.

also I believe that if Kai ever got married and had kids,

one of his kids will become the new master of fire and the other becomes the master of water.

Kai’s Mom Maya was the Master of Water before Nya, so it makes sense that element would either be inherited by either Kai’s children or Nya’s children.

but it might be Kai’s children that will be the next Siblings of Fire & Water,

unless it will be one kid who ends up being a Master of both Fire and Water.

 at least Cole is allowed to have a new voice, but his original voice actor,

Kirby Morrow will always hold a special place in the hearts of everyone who knew him, who were close to him on and off Ninjago.

the memories of the voice actors & actress, should not be tarnished

by those who might disgrace the heart and soul they put into the voices of the characters we love, just because the character gets a new voice, doesn’t mean the original voice isn’t still loved.

 and by the news of Cole and Bulma’s new voices by new voice actors,

the bad habit that had happen with King Louie’s Original Voice Actor, will NEVER be repeated again.

now if only those who are in charge of Nickelodeon,

will do as Spongebob’s original creator wanted before his passing...

it doesn’t help that the channel we have, that had Spongebob on it...

had a broken Marathon, they could just have the same episode on the next day, if some have missed it yesterday, but to do it non-stop is just....it was just the same episodes over, and over...

  once in a while, I’m okay with watching Spongebob.

but thanks to that broken marathon, it kind of ruined my love for the show.

the feelings had got really bad some months back, I’m okay now of course.

I just wish those who work on the Simpsons, would stop making new episodes of it, and instead maybe make a new season of Futurama, bring that back instead. give it a few more seasons, then have it be fully completed.

also give another season of Disenchantment, I still want to find out who Bean is being forced to marry.

pretty sure Bean is Bisexual, well it pretty much seems that way to me and everyone else.

  what if Disenchantment takes place in the same timeline as Futurama,

but they in a place where everyone is still in a medieval type era.

yeah Magic, Elves and Demons are real there, but there still clueless to the lands outside it that have Humans, Aliens and Robots Co-Existing together.

that is my headcanon, Disenchantment and Futurama take place in the same timeline and world.

 I hate to say this, but I think I like Felix better than Adrien....

cause what he almost did to Scarabella as Chat Noir.

what if Aeon hadn’t been Android Human, and was a Fully Organic Human instead...?

we don’t know if Ladybug could of brought her back if she wasn’t a Android.

but if she was a fully organic human, and not just a Human who was a Android, she is still Human with thoughts and feelings, she just happens to be a Android.

but if she was fully organic, it could of been a lot worse.

we know that Chat Noir/Adrien, can be a bit careless, but we know he can end up misusing Plagg’s Power more than once.

like what he assumed Scarabella was, as well when he accidentally hurt Aeon.

Felix might be a jerk, but he might be more reasonable than Adrien, and it might be best that one day in the future, he becomes the new holder of the Cat Miraculous.

we have seen how Adrien got when he got akumatized, was both a danger to himself and the whole world in one of the timelines.

plus what he almost did to Scarabella (who is Alya Cesaire)

almost crossed a line, just like how it was crossed with Aeon.

yes with Aeon, he did in on accident, but with Alya, he could of ended up killing her and without a Ladybug to be there to fix what he did, but once she is back...she should take his ring away from him.

I get that Marinette loves Adrien, but she needs to understand that he can be dangerous on his own, and can end up mistaking human as a sentimonster.

I think it’s best that someone else becomes the wielder of the Cat Miraculous,

if and only if, Adrien proves to be too dangerous to be it’s wielder any longer.

we know that Tikki can be dangerous, and Plagg is needed to fix her messes.   

anyway, those who voice the characters we love, will hold a special place in everyone’s hearts, but we shouldn’t tarnish it by keeping the character from having a new voice from someone new.

which is a mistake that has happen to one of Disney’s Characters.

 so even if I didn’t know about what happen to Kirby Morrow until now,

I believe this is the first time I heard the news.

but one of the episodes of Ninjago had “In Loving Memory” and his name on it.

showing that the last episode from the last season, is in his memory.

 we should thank the ones who gave a voice to the characters we love,

and remember to let the characters have a new voice, and not tarnish the memories of those who were the first to give the voice of the characters.

treasure the memories, but never bring disgrace to them.                   

[creepy-mcnightmare]

1-59 lol

1. selfie

2. what would you name your future kids?

I don’t really plan on having any kids but I have always quite liked the name Rose

3. do you miss anyone?

I quite miss seeing my grand parents. I also miss loads of people I used to drink and party with before COVID

4. what are you looking forward to?

Really looking forward to going clubbing again. Clubbing, seeing friend, music festivals and holidays

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

My girlfriend 😊 she’s a gem and every little thing she does can make me smile or laugh

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

I don’t think I have ever had to

7. what was your life like last year?

Pretty much the same apart from now I can go to gigs and clubs

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Probably. Things annoy me quite a lot

9. who did you last see in person?

My girlfriend

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m mostly an open book but some people can read me better than others

11. are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, MGK & CORPSE - DAYWALKER!

12. what is something you want right now?

A pizza with meat alternative toppings

13. how do you feel right now?

A little tired and a little thirsty

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

About 15-20 minutes ago 😂

15. personality description?

60% great music taste, 15% memes, 15% Cartoon quotes and 10% pointless facts

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yeah but I didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings

17. opinion on insecurities?

I have man. I’m trying not to

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

Naaa, things were fucked a year ago

19. have you ever been to New York?

No but I would absolutely love to

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

Holy Roller - Spiritbox

21. age and birthday?

I’m 27 years old and my birthday is the 25th of March (in case anyone wants to buy me something for next year 😉)

22. description of crush?

My girlfriend is my crush. So I would say a hot redhead with pale skin and tattoos

23. fear(s)

Deep open water (like being in the middle of the ocean)

Friends/family/loved ones getting hurt or attacked

24. height?

About 6’

25. role model

My parents

26. idol(s)

I don’t really have any idols

27. things i hate

Racists, sexists, homophobes, xenophobes, fascists and those kinds of people

28. i’ll love you if…

Buy me really tasty take away food or cook me an amazing meal

29. favourite film(s)?

I’m a huge Star Wars nerd so any of those films. Also Pulp Fiction, Lilo & Stitch, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Shaun Of The Dead

30. favourite tv show(s)?

Futurama, The Simpsons, Task Master and there are probably loads more I can’t think of right now

31. 3 random facts

There are some species of jellyfish that are technically immortal

A series of studies found that people who listen to heavy metal are happier than people who listen to any other genres of music

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

I would say mainly guys

33. something you want to learn

I want to learn barbering and hairdressing

34. most embarrassing moment

I’m not sure, probably something I did when I was drunk

35. favourite subject

I really enjoyed science in high school

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

I want to DJ at a big alternative festival

Act in a Hollywood blockbuster

Start a successful band

37. favourite actor/actress

Johnny Depp

38. favourite comedian(s)

Romesh Ranganathan

Russel Howard

Noel Fielding

39. favourite sport(s)

Skateboarding

Bmx

40. favourite memory

The first time at Disney World and my girlfriends expression seeing Main Street and the castle

41. relationship status

In a relationship

42. favourite book(s)

Pretty much anything by H.P Lovecraft

43. favourite song ever

That would be impossible to say 😂

44. age you get mistaken for

23

45. how you found out about your idol

I don’t really have any

46. what my last text message says

5 minutes

47. turn ons

Neck kissing, lip biting, grinding that kind of stuff

48. turn offs

People who aren’t genuine and rudeness

49. where i want to be right now

Somewhere hot, by the beach with lots of alcohol

50. favourite picture of your idol

N/A

51. starsign

Aries

52. something i’m talented at

Djing (I like to hope at least)

53. 5 things that make me happy

Animals

My friends

Food

Music

Video games

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

My headache

55. tumblr friends

There are too many to list

56. favourite food(s)

Pizza

Pasta

Cheese

57. favourite animal(s)

Cats

Dogs

Lizards

Snakes

Bats

58. description of my best friend

Loyal, funny and great on nights out

59. why i joined tumblr

Because a load of people in my college class had it 😂