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pippin-katz · 1 year ago

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Alex & Being Bisexual 🩷💜💙

I've seen a lot of people complaining about Alex not having as big of a crisis over being bisexual as he did in the books, but I feel like a lot of people are overlooking the development he does go through.

Henry is the first guy he has felt attracted to that he actually knew prior to getting physically involved.

Alex & Miguel

Nora's asks specifically about men Alex has "been with", not men he's liked or interested him. She means physically, and he knows that too. Alex doesn't even bother with giving any context or details for his high school hook up. His description of his hook up with Miguel is straightforward, direct, and factual, because he doesn't have an emotional attachment to that moment or Miguel.

This, and his interactions with Miguel, gives the impression that they don't really know each other that well. It seems like they met during the campaign, made out in a hot tub, and now occasionally they talk at school.

They don't seem like friends, rather acquaintances after a one night stand, which is pretty much what they did. Their first conversation is mostly Miguel trying to get quotes for his journal and flirting with him rather than any kind of real discussion.

Gifs courtesy of @phakphumm from this post

Alex isn't stupid; he knows Miguel is flirting with him, however he chooses not to acknowledge it. He doesn't discourage him, but he does not encourage him either.

He avoids saying anything about it at all. His expressions after the eyelashes comment show him at a bit of a loss for how to respond. Alex seems flattered by the compliment, but doesn't seem to have any real desire to hook up again.

Everything Miguel says, he says in an attempt to get something out of him, whether it be flirting to hook up and/or get quotes for his journal.

Same thing at the state dinner; Alex isn't fully paying attention cause he's busy staring at Henry, but Miguel opens with compliments, specifically about his memo, which is definitely an attempt to flatter him. Then he starts asking direct questions about the campaign, Alex doesn't answer, and he walks away. They're not really friends.

New Territory

It's one thing to admit being somewhat attracted to the same sex, under limited, physical circumstances. Lots of people often joke about "being straight/gay but I would sleep with this person".

It's another thing to develop an attraction to a person you know of the same sex when you've never had those feelings before. It's not just physical anymore, because you know and like this person outside of that context, and the physical intimacy gains a new meaning.

Alex VS Feelings

This is a new feeling for Alex. This man practically makes out with two women he barely knows without any qualms, but when he's waiting to see Henry? His close friend who he knows and plans to kiss?

He is nervous; not just a little nervous either:

Alex is a pretty confident guy, able to host massive parties and dance without any reservations about it, unlike Henry who awkwardly bounces. He's a fantastic public speaker. Excluding the wedding, which were extreme circumstances, he's able to navigate a room comfortably. We know from the closet conversation that he used to get scared, but it's clear based on his campaign efforts, the DNC speech, and so on that he's grown into his role and can play it well.

Here, Alex can't sit still. He doesn't know how to stand. He's shifting around, almost pacing. He visibly tries to muster up the confidence we know he has, but can't. He's trying to pose, or look confident, and almost gets there, but the second the door opens, he panics and just stands there.

"But that's just cause he really likes Henry!"

Yes, exactly; Henry is his first step towards fully realizing his identity.

Once the tension is broken, Alex is confident again and doesn't hesitate anymore. He may not be completely sure of his identity, but he is completely sure that he wants Henry. Those thoughts take priority when he kisses him. He knows physical intimacy. He knows how to kiss with someone regardless of who they are. He has been with a couple men, and is a man himself, so he knows what feels good. His confidence stays intact during their exchange when they get to his bedroom.

There are very small moments where you can see his nerves poke through.

When Henry pushes Alex over the couch, not only is it surprising to him, it also disconnects them for a few seconds. He has a chance to look at Henry while they're not touching or kissing, no direct distraction.

When Henry starts undoing his pants, he looks up, inhales quickly, blinks a couple times, and swallows; it's almost like he's thinking "okay this is actually happening now". Again, no direct distraction, as Henry isn't doing anything yet, and Alex isn't touching or kissing him.

Both moments go by fast though because he's focused on what he knows, the physical part. He knows he wants Henry physically, so he can focus on that, and deal with the other feelings later.

Alex is aware that he has feelings toward Henry that are new to him. He doesn't know what they mean, and it's nothing even close to what he feels later in Paris and at the lake house, but they're starting to form. He's the one who suggests that he and Henry see each other again, and you would have to be blind not to see the brief disappointment on his face when Henry says it has to be very casual. It's also important to note that this is right after Alex comes out.

The Bisexual Label

While his feelings make Alex nervous, Henry is still his friend and he feels comfortable around him. He's the first person he comes out to; he was unable to say anything definitive about his identity during his conversation with Nora, despite her best efforts to help him.

Henry is the first person he tells and he distinctly shows uncertainty when he first uses the bisexual label:

He's serious about it; not overly serious, but he's coming out very formally. He's nervous, even though he's telling Henry, who he literally hooked up with five minutes ago. Henry already knows he's attracted to men. Alex is not nervous about that; it is clearly the label that he's uncertain about.

Confidence

A lot of people get taken by surprise when they start questioning their identity because they had simply never thought about it before.

The uncertainty Alex has about his identity was initiated by his feelings for Henry. Alex clearly never considered the idea of being in an actual relationship with a man. Without Henry, he may have never figured out that he was fully bisexual. He may have continued fooling around occasionally with guys, never giving serious thought to the other possibilities, unless/until he met someone like Henry who basically smacks him in the face with a mirror.

Being with Henry makes him truly think about himself, and come to the conclusion that he's bisexual. Seeing/dating Henry also makes him more comfortable and confident in his identity over time.

While Alex hadn't acknowledged Miguel's advances before, after he sleeps with Henry, he actively calls him out on it and refuses without hesitation as soon as Miguel puts the suggestion out there. Miguel even says "Well, I don't anymore", confirming that had been his intention in earlier scenes.

He had been trying to hook up with him again, and because Alex never addressed it, Miguel thought that it was possible. Alex may not have addressed his comments, but Miguel could see for himself that they had a positive reaction; he felt flattered and bashful. That response coupled with the fact that Alex did not outright tell him to stop was enough reason for Miguel to think it could happen again.

Also, Alex told Nora that he got the feeling Miguel wanted to hook up again, but that he was a journalist, which does not say he wouldn't be down. He never says he wouldn't want to; instead he expresses his apprehension to the idea due to his job. So for all intents and purposes, before Henry came along, Miguel was correct to think it was a possibility.

This seems to be the first time Alex has ever actually addressed their tension, and it occurs after he starts seeing Henry and using the bisexual label.

Owning The Bi Label

Then Zahra finds him and Henry the next morning. She is kind enough not to tell Ellen immediately, because even if she won't admit it, she does care about Alex a lot and recognizes the importance of something like this. However, she makes it very clear that he needs to tell her ASAP or she will.

When he comes out to his mom, he is significantly more sure of himself when he uses the bisexual label. He laughs and uses the shorten term "bi" which is a small detail but indicates his confidence, compared to how he cautiously said "bisexual" when coming out to Henry. He's not at all nervous to use the term, and says it grinning.

This is also indicative of his confidence in his label because Alex doesn't lead with his sexuality. He leads with meeting someone, and clarifying that it's a man, and that it's Henry. So once they're on the couch talking, Ellen is also already aware that he is attracted to men, but this time, he's prompted about his label and he shows zero nerves about using the term "bi".

Queer Identity

By the end of the movie, Alex is able to publicly refer to himself as having a queer identity. Obviously, he was outed against his will, but he is still able to stand up and acknowledge who he is without nerves about it. He has been with Henry for a year, and he knows who he is, and he’s not ashamed of it. As he says, the leaks were an issue of privacy, not shame. Alex is not afraid to say who he is, and he is queer, he is bisexual. He’s a different person than he was before Henry. He’s learned about himself because of him.

Does he have a complete, computer-error-noise breakdown over it? No, he doesn’t, but he does not immediately start waving a bi flag around either.

Okay, that’s all! This took so freaking long to put together, but I hope it helps people understand how his bisexuality is addressed in the movie. Just because he has a different journey than he did in the book does not mean he did not have a journey at all, and I hope this allows people to see it more clearly!

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb thoughts #bisexuality #alex claremont-diaz #taylor zakhar perez #ellen claremont #henry hanover stuart fox #miguel ramos #firstprince

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cvnt4him · 4 months ago

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Hello!! I was so wondering if you could write Izuku x reader angst? Like they are on a mission and reader gets hurt badly protecting Izuku? Or a pretty heated argument?!

Instead of doing just one or the other I'm doing both and put them together🤯

How could you..

Readers quirk is energy based, they can give energy to others and also take energy.

You were on a mission with izuku. It wasn't rare for you two to be paired up with each other but when it came down to hero work the two of you hardly seen each other, you always had to wait until after school or the next day but lately you two just haven't seen much of each other at all.

You were so excited to see him! His messy forest green curls, and those big lucent emerald green puppy dog eyes of his, how could you not be? When you two seen each other you called out to him making him turn to you with a confused face before it instantly lit up. He had a huge smile on that adorable freckled baby face of his.

"y/n!! I've missed you so much!"

"me too, baby!!"

You two hold each other for a while, giggling with your foreheads to one another before Endeavour breaks your two up. You both apologize, glancing at each other trying to hold back your giggles.

Endeavour figured since he already took shoto katsuki and deku on a patrol with him that izuku could take you himself, it was your first time being at Endeavours agency and being on patrol in general so you were really excited to get to do this with tour boyfriend!!

Izuku was just as excited, especially because he knew he could keep you safe. There had already been a petty jewelry thief a couple of blocks away and shoto reported back to izuku that they took care of it so there wasn't any real danger for you to get in! He promised himself he wouldn't let you get in danger.

While you two were walking and talking about whatever came to mind he couldn't help but to just admire you, the way you spoke so passionately about whatever you're talking about. The way you smiled so brightly at him, so blinding. You were truly astounding. Astonishing. There are so many words in this world, yet none of them can even begin to compare how truly perfect you are.

Just as izuku was going to jump into the conversation he was stopped by you. He looked at your horrified face then over to what's in front of you to see shoto on the ground with blood leaking down his face, and katsuki being choked by some muscle filled man.

Obviously it was instinct for the both of you to help. You quickly ran to help aid your two fallen friends who were hurt as izuku went to fight, occasionally glancing at you and your friends to assure you were okay. You helped them up as they both agreed they still wanted to fight.

They both ran to help izuku, he had gotten punched a couple of times causing his nose to break. You ran to him to assure he was okay, he winced as you checked out his nose. You always had some aiding things on your suit for times like these, your quirk wasn't a close range type of thing so you had to learn how to help people from afar.

Izuku smiled as you finished cleaning his wound and placed a fire truck bandaid on it. He rolled his eyes and kissed your forehead before running back off into battle, you had a hard time with your quirk considering it was energy based, if you were tired or not well rested or hungry or just didn't have enough energy your quirk couldn't work.

The man they were fighting was quite strong and definitely not something to take lightly, izuku got roughed up a bit along with your friends but that wasn't going to stop them from fighting. They were all pretty tired and you tried your hardest to aid them with as much energy as you could before your body started tiring out. Izuku sat you down so you could take a breather, a random civilian had called the police who contacted the pro heroes.

No one knew how long it would take for the pros to get there and you were all tired and out of energy, katsuki being the firecracker he is, he wasn't going to stop until his body was spent.

Izuku tried his hardest to get katsuki to reconsider but he just wouldn't, katsuki hadn't seen where the villain had gone so he just stood there panting and out of breath checking his surroundings. Where could the man have possibly gone, he was huge there was no way he could just.. disappear like that. Right?

Deku seen the man appear from behind katsuki and rushed towards him to push katsuki out of the way, you knew something bad would happen if the man caught izuku you just couldn't sit by and let that happen. You pushed shoto away from you, who was trying to help make sure you got rest, and gathered as much energy as you could to rush over to your boyfriend.

It's like time had stopped. Everything was happening before your eyes at such a slow pace, you pushed izuku out of the way and trapped the muscular man in a bubble that used up all of your energy, time had seemed to go back to normal as you collapsed to the ground. Katsuki groaned and instantly got up from being pushed out of the way by izuku. Izuku was confused, what could have possibly happened, he made sure that he pushed katsuki out of the way. So if he was okay and katsuki was okay what happened?

Izuku looked up to his friend to see him looking up at the big strong men moving in slow motion inside of a bubble, it brought a huge smile to izukus face, but then they all seen the bubble starting to crack, izuku instantly realized that was your quirk being in use. He looked down to see you unconscious. Izuku wanted to rush to you before shoto called out to him. The bubble above him popped and the huge man came crashing down, before the man could touch izuku he zoomed past him and grabbed you.

He held you close with tears in his eyes, he was fuming with anger. He let you get hurt even after he told himself he wouldn't, he couldn't believe that you'd gotten hurt.

You woke up in the infirmary, your head throbbing and your body sore. You felt like you couldn't move, you knew it was from the over use of your quirk but even still the only thing on your mind was your boyfriend. You needed to know he was alright. You tried to move but your body cramped horribly, you groaned in pain but tried to push through it. Alas, you couldn't it was too painful to endure, tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you laid back in agony. You wanted your boyfriend and you couldn't have him.

Just as you were about to turn over and lie back down you were scared up by the door opening, you see your boyfriend and the two boys you were on patrol with. Your face lit up as you see your green haired boyfriend walk through the door with a worried face. He rushed to you now that you were awake he could hold you close.

Shoto smiled as katsuki simply groaned and rolled his eyes at the loving display. You heard izuku sniff in the crook of your neck, it broke your heart to hear your love cry like this. He pulled back from the hug and wiped his face with his arm, he couldn't bring himself to even look at you like this, in the state that you were in.

You sat up the best you could, confused why he couldn't bring himself to glance at you. You try to smile at him only for him to inhale and let out a shaky breath before clearing his throat. You could tell he felt guilty, extremely guilty to the point it was so obvious he was beating himself up. He looked dead, tired, hungry. Just completely out of it. You hated when he got into moods like this, he always brang himself down.

"izu--"

"How could you..."

"how.. how could I what, zu..?"

"you- you jumped in front of me. You could've gotten yourself seriously hurt-- you did get seriously hurt. Because of me."

"izuku no it was my choice. I didn't want you getting hurt."

"so what, you got hurt instead? To what.. save me?!"

"yes."

He scoffs and rubs his temples, he couldn't believe you. The fact you'd just willingly admit it and not even try to excuse what you've done. You were hurt because of him. You were stupid and reckless because of him. He couldn't live with himself because of what you've done. You went and got hurt after he promised himself he wouldn't let you.

You sigh heavily, the tension in the room is so thick that a knife couldn't even break it. The two boys behind izuku looked so awkward. Shoto had a hard time understanding most social cues so he just mindlessly blinked and looked between the two of you silently, katsuki was literally drowning in the tension, he cleared his throat only to be interrupted by izuku.

"look. I just.. I love you, and- and you got hurt.. because of me. I can't.. I can't live with myself knowing I'm the reason you got hurt."

He stammered on his words hiding his hand close to his heart, it was beating out of his chest in anger, sadness, and so many more feelings he felt like he could explode.

"izuku. I'm not going to apologize for my actions. I knew the cost and I knew what would come. I was completely in control when I acted."

That only seemed to anger the greenette more, tears falling down his face as he dug his nails into the palms of his hands, sniffling and trying his hardest not to break down right then and there.

"ARE YOU S- SERIOUS?! YOU WERE HURT. BECAUSE OF YOUR SHITTY THINKING."

Izuku spat at you, tears streaming down his face as he sniffled and hiccupped. He tried so hard to hold all of his emotions back but he just couldn't. He was falling apart at the seams because of you. He loved you so much and he felt that he failed to protect you.

"okay.. and what about you, huh? You pushed katsuki out of the way and didn't even think about yourself. You're so busy trying to protect others you never take a minute to think about yourself. It's always hero this and hero that but never what does izuku want. How does izuku feel? So I'm sorry for trying to be a good partner by protecting you. But I will not apologize for protecting you."

Izukus eyes widened at your words. He hadn't even realized that he'd jumped in front of katsuki, he just acted on pure impulse. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were flushed, he didn't know what to say or even how to react after that. He was just stunned. Katsuki and shoto took it upon themselves to see themselves out.

You were fighting back tears for numerous reasons, but the only one that kept getting louder and louder inside of your head was the one saying izuku was going to break up with you. You felt that it would come. You were afraid, but you were also angry. How could he break up with you for you protecting him after he almost carelessly lost his life? The one thing you seem to be asking yourself.

He looked down towards the ground and tried his hardest to wipe his face with his hands. His face was covered by his hair, you wanted oh so desperately to kiss his tears away. You were just afraid that he didn't want you anymore.

"I'm.. I'm so sorry.."

Izukus voice was low and hoarse, he was shaking and tears were still spilling from his eyes. He was just so emotional that he could see himself stopping anytime soon. You didn't exactly hear his words but guessed along the lines that he was apologizing, you felt so guilty that he even felt the need to apologize.

"come here, izuku."

You say bluntly with your arms held out reaching for him, within an instant he rushed over to you, collapsing in your arms tears rushing down his face even more. You simply chuckled and held him close, kissing his head and burying your nose in his hair. His tears got all over your hospital gown, dampening it with the salty liquid.

This was your first argument like this, but you were positive it wasn't going to be your last.

AN: it's currently 11:26 I was so scared I wasn't gonna get this done on time y'all, I don't plan on missing a single day chat🙏🏽🙏🏽

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letters-to-rosie · 1 month ago

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random Ekko thoughts

so I'm trying to get a little fic writing in, and I was thinking of some timebomb takes I've seen recently. I realized that a lot of opinions people have on their relationship and how it's depicted center around Jinx, and I was wondering what care people give towards writing Ekko, so here are some things I like to include when writing him:

perfectionist. Ekko, at least in League canon, goes back and forth over and over to craft a perfect moment. I think he'd be observant, detail-oriented, probably a little neurotic, definitely the type to replay an awkward interaction over and over in his head in the shower or before falling asleep

emotionally guarded. first, I gotta say I don't think Ekko would want to be this way. but he's been through so much he finds it useful to have walls up. it's not like all the toughness is a defense mechanism—he fights for what he believes in and is clearly very brave (who else makes hoverboards ffs). he does miss, though, the times and people that allowed him to be more vulnerable, and he treasures it when he has it. his childhood ended way too soon

chronic overthinker. this goes back to the perfectionism, but I think he'd constantly be questioning everything. he's good on his feet, but he likes to have a plan, and he'd tends to think about those for a long time

charismatic as hell. this one I think is proven by the show, lol. Ekko seems very personable, likes to haggle (at least as a kid), and is liked enough to lead a resistance movement. I think he'd make good speeches and be good at convincing people. this would, of course, cause drama with Jinx, because he'd be like "all these people believe in me and my former best friend doesn't," ow

drama. I like to give him a pretty dramatic inner monologue, lol. I also like to think he's self-aware enough to realize he's being dramatic in the moment and to then continue the drama anyway

enjoyer of thrills. hoverboard. need I say more?

childish and playful side. didn't get to have a full childhood and cherishes getting to let that side out. cue fluff

fidgeter. it preceded the tinkering

player of mind games. this is mostly based on how he treats Caitlyn and Vi after kidnapping them, putting them through what essentially amounts to tests (for, imo, understandable reasons). he also goads Jinx into a game he knows he'll be able to win. I think he'd apply this thinking to other scenarios, be they big or small

too-big sense of responsibility. would feed into the drama for sure. he feels the weight of his community on his shoulders, and because he wants things to go well, and because they're counting on him, he takes on a lot that he maybe should not

self-righteous. he strikes me as filled with righteous anger. he's right, most of the time. on the occasion he isn't, this causes problems

proud. wouldn't be a real issue in most situations, but it's there

irreverent. he flips off cops as a kid. we love him for this

smart. this is obvious, but sometimes can be forgotten in the fandom. I'd see Ekko as book-smart and having street-smarts (or at least a lot more than Jayce, but that's a low bar). I think his verbal skills would also be a bit more polished than some of the other science-inclined characters (cough cough Jinx). I think it's also notable that among the others (Jayce, Viktor, Heimerdinger, Jinx), Ekko is the main science character who has no access to proper schooling at any point. sure, he has his job with Benzo, but it's unclear how much that would have taught him. Silco probably got at least books for Jinx, and the others had real teachers. there's an element of resourcefulness in Ekko's smarts which is laudable, imo

very dorky. we love a man with range. I feel like he would be able to operate on multiple levels, one in which he's this cool charismatic leader and another when you get to know him better, who makes science puns and has a lot of insecurities, which naturally leave him replaying awkward conversations in the shower. layers!

idealistic. you have to give people what they need to live

heart of gold. one thing that always strikes me is that Ekko is really the only member of the main cast concerned enough with the plight of the average person in Zaun to make it his whole business. he's tending to the crisis in a way that is simultaneously very grounded and (again) idealistic, where substance use recovery is very much needed in the setting but he's also (perhaps in contrast to Vander) throwing himself into battles that are unsustainable because he believes in his cause, even if the persecution is so bad he has to hide over it

disaster bi (this one is for me)

Ekko's a really layered and interesting character. I wanted to bring up some things I think about when writing him because of posts I've seen recently about him being reduced to "Jinx's boyfriend" (due to anti-black racism, of course) and posts just kinda about timebomb in general? I think because it's been canon that Ekko has a crush of Jinx for so long, it's easy to take that for granted and not give much thought to his side of the ship. we also spend a lot more time in Jinx's head than his in the show, even though the brief moment we do spend in his head introduces a whole new art style and the best song on the soundtrack (fight me)

obviously, I'm a shameless Ekko and Firelights stan. he's my favorite character in Arcane and one of my favorites in anything ever, so it was fun to flesh out my headcanons, things I think are extrapolatable from canon, and just some of the traits that go into writing him. if people have others (or just traits and things they think are interesting) I'd love to hear them! I love my brilliant and contradictory boy!

#arcane #ekko #ekko arcane #arcane ekko #a little #timebomb

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the-midnight-blooms · 4 days ago

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ꜱʜᴀᴍᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ

PROLOGUE

pairing: ghostface!song mingi x reader (ft. ghostface!jeong yunho)

AU: modern au

word count: 3.2k

masterlist

warnings: yandere themes, stalking

A/N: I've never actually watched Scream but I love the concept, so general ideas revolving around the character will be used here (i also saw yungi!ghostface fanart, which i am OBSSESSED with).

A chat room is an online platform that enables users to communicate with each other in real time. Chat rooms are typically hosted on a server with an internet connection, enabling members from around the world to hold conversations about various topics.

Upbeat 80s rock music reverberates of the four walls of her room, the pen nib scratches, furiously, across the thin lined paper as her mind spills the plethora of knowledge that's locked up within it. Dropping the pen to the side, a long groan escapes her lips in tiredness the bright light of the computer screen gnawing at her attention. As she flicks between the several open tabs on her web browser, loitering in the far corner is an underground chat room for ‘conventional losers’, i.e. nerds, geeks, freaks, goths and emos and every other ostracised sub-cultural group you could think of. The thought itself was quite fascinating to her, which one was she? Or rather, was she the pretentious introvert who thought herself higher than those who defied society's conventional train of thought and aligned herself with the populars?

Snapping her book shut, she closed several of the academic pages she had open; leaving her with the final one: the infamous chat room. She’d already logged in, curiosity masticating her rationality and browsed a few pages, sent a few quick messages to people the website had recommended based on her “favourite topics”.

Her eyes glance carefully across the blaring screen, the blue light penetrating into her steady gaze as she reads the username that steals her undivided attention.

@ pyscho.killer

A snicker escapes her lips, she surfs their profile finding very little information about them, other than ‘Fix on’. Goodness, is she really going to talk to this person just because he too enjoys listening to Modern Talking? Her lips purse in contemplation as she clicks on ‘Message’, there’s no harm in conversing with someone you don’t know. Right?

modern-division: Fan of the Talking Heads much?

She prides herself on her nonchalance, if he wasn't to respond she really wouldn't care. After all, Yeji had invited her to join a number of societies at university and despite the fact that none of the them seemed particularly interesting to her; there was no harm in joining at least one or two if the outcome was a few friends to make her strenuous four years more bearable.

Ping. Her head snaps back to computer screen as she shoves all of her pens back into the pencil case; a dirty habit from childhood to spread all of her things across the table and then spend five minutes, impartially, cleaning everything up.

psycho.killer: Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?

modern-division: Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better

psycho.killer: Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away,

psycho.killer: I think I have met my match. To whom do I now call mine?

A childish giggle escapes her, she leans back in her seat in a knowingness that she may now actually enjoy being on this sketchy platform. Careful, yet. She doesn't actually know this stranger.

modern-division: AHAHA you’re funny, Mr Fix On (what does that even mean?)

psycho.killer: that’s not for you to know, darling.

psycho.killer: let me guess…you like joy division and modern talking?

modern-division: what gave it away?

psycho.killer: I guess you’re pretty funny too

It's quite absurd to believe that a famous hit song by the 'Talking Heads' is what got her, her new best internet friend yet the notion is very much a fact. So much so, her life is now consumed by the chat rooms she used to look down on. Social media is very much a vortex, or vacuum of some kind, sucking one in; leaving them void of humanity, stripping them down of some yearning for human interaction. Or at least that's what it did to most. After a long day of lectures, she found herself wanting to be able to see 'Mr Fix On' in person, talk to him in person, be able to stare into his eyes.

Speaking of. As a matter of fact, she didn't even know what he looked like. Just that he was South Korean, had short black hair and brown eyes. She too allowed herself to share the same amount of information that he provided. Mum did say not to go around talking to strangers, and even if she was doing just that; she was not dim enough to start revealing absolutely everything about her identity.

The autumn leaves sway softly with the gentle breeze, a waft of biting air floods over her sending a ripple of goosebumps over her supple skin. Her shoes crunch the delicate leaves, that pave the way to her home, yet she feels a daunting figure stalk after her. For a split second, she believes herself to be hallucinating as she takes a daring look behind her shoulder to find the street behind her, empty.

A tall figure strolls after her, picturing landmarks that carves the path to her home. His soft dark brown hair tousles with the wind, the cold forging a pink blush over his cheeks; sinking his long nose into the woollen scarf his movements come to an abrupt halt as his heroine plunges her eyes into his.

God, she's fucking pretty.

They move over his, hastily, as to her he's simply rifling through his bag for a wallet in line for an expensive coffee alongside a couple of old-age pensioners.

Conclusion: She is paranoid, there is no one after her. Yet as it is autumn in her unsafe town, its better to be cautious than to walk across the surface of the earth with no walls at all.

psycho.killer: wanna join a gc with my friend? he likes some of the same music as us.

psycho.killer: plus, he's a compsci loser who needs a friend

It's been at least a month since she had began talking to 'psycho.killer', who she had learnt his name is: Mings. Or rather its a shorthand version of his forename that he is weirdly reluctant to disclose, as he insists on her calling him 'Min' or "darling, my lover, husband- whatever floats your boat." He is truly charismatic, his charms are perceived from the other end of the screen. She wonders what it would be like to see him in real life. Is he truly as amiable as he reads?

modern-division: haha, i don't mind. what's his @ ?

psycho.killer: its @ killed.theradio.st4r

modern-division: you guys are my people

She hums the tune to 'Video Killed the Radio Star." Her mother's soft laughter pervades her way into her room; the older woman places her washed clothes on the Chester drawer wondering how the younger generation manage to get invested in the songs of the past.

[psycho.killer added you to 'two losers and a hot nerd']

killed.theradio.st4r: helloo, i'm yuyu :)

modern-division: hi!

modern-division: also, who's the hot nerd?

psycho.killer: me.

killed.theradio.st4r: lmao. its you, doll.

Does Mings just refer to me as, Doll to everyone he speaks to?

modern-division: you don't even know what i look like

killed.theradio.st4r: guess we just know you're a hot girl by intuition

modern-division: what if i'm a man? ever thought about that?

psycho.killer: your bio literally states that you're a girl

psycho.killer: not-so-mysterious babe

It wasn’t so bad for someone online to know your gender, it was just ensuring that your femininity wasn’t exploited. She knew they would never ask her to share explicit content nor would they force her to engage in it, though talking to the pair of ‘Killers’ preserved an ominous feeling in the airs. She couldn’t tell if at any point, she really felt comfortable talking to either of the two.

To begin with, Min was always trying to call her. Ask her where she was, what she was doing, if she had she eaten, what time she was going to bed. He asked about her day, and if anyone bothered her in particular. To any other he may have seemed like a kind-hearted boyfriend yet to her it felt like an intruder had permeated into the walls of her bedroom and dominated her life. Then you had his esteemed friend, Yun. He was always deeming her the most beautiful being he had ever seen. She could see within his words the robust desire he had manifested from her words, the way he had subtly requested for her photos in order to fuel the raging fires burning in her absence.

He wanted her. Physically, to put it lightly. Indeed, she was a doll to him and to have her in his arms would purify him of all his sinful thoughts. Yun always brought it up with his friend, who had simply told him to put out those fires. (For the time being).

“Have you heard of ‘Ghostface’?” Her head snaps up from her workbook, in the library where one of her closer acquaintances sits opposite playing with her water bottle. A newspaper article sits in front with the notorious blurry image of a man with a ghost mask roaming around town.

“This is the first I’m hearing. I mean it’s Halloween soon, so it’s probably some idiot roaming around town.”

“An idiot? I don’t think so, ma’am. Read on, he’s been going around stalking people in his costume.” She raises her eyebrows, nimbly scanning her eyes over the text before returning back to her work. Though she cannot help but stare back at the blurred image of the figure. “I bet there’s a sexy man under all that.” Scowling at her friend, she sends a dirty look.

“You have got to be kidding me. A ‘sexy’ man. You said it yourself, he’s stalking people.”

“Yeah but, one of the girls from Art said he was mad tall and had this deep, attractive voice.”

“Yes, I bet he goes: ‘come here babe, let me kill you’ in his husky voice and you all go running to him because you have no morals.” Once again, she rolls her eyes whilst her friend merely giggles as if she is just pleasantly awaiting to be a victim. She rarely meets women who have an ambition for a victim complex, yet those she does: she steers away from.

“I’m only joking, but be real. Have you never heard a guy with a deep, attractive voice?” Her friend questions, making her pause her writing. In fact, she has. Mins’ voice has a sent over her railings during their late night calls, there’s something so potent residing within it. Intoxicating. It almost has her want to do everything he asks.

He is too, tall with a deep voice but there must be so many like him in this world.

The thought is dismissed and she shoos away her friend to allow herself to prioritise the exam that’s pending in two weeks time.

modern-division: have you guys heard of ghostface?

killed.theradio.st4r: why?

modern-division: just asking, apparently some loser is dressing up in a ghost mask and stalking people. idk if it’s just halloween round the corner though

killed.theradio.st4r: oh no :(

killed.theradio.st4r: could just be a halloween thing

modern-division: yeah, I think so too.

“So you like the librarian?”

“Mhm.” She steals her longing gaze away from him towards Yeji, who sends a vicious smirk her way. A blush taints her cheeks, knowing that Yeji will never live it down now. “I’m not gonna deny he’s pretty good looking.”

“Pretty good looking? He’s gorgeous as fuck. He’s not a want, he’s a need.” Playfully, she bites her lip suppressing a fit of giggles by burying her face into the textbook. A few others send irritated looks from across the room, which has the pair sinking in their seats. “You think a guy like him is single?”

“Absolutely not. If I had the chance, I’d snatch him up right away.” Her eyes flicker back to the tall man who catches her stare in an instant, he holds it before moving back to surf through the books on the trolley.

A low beat surfaces along the posters, her phone is sandwiched between her shoulder and cheek as she trudges furiously around the room looking for her scarf. Min's voice permeates her ears delicately, despite the alarming sentences he speaks; he converses in length about human anatomy saying that raw flesh must be easier to study than cadaveric tissue. As much as she agrees, just to play devil's advocate she will never admit that.

“I love your voice, Mings. It’s so deep, but like in a comforting way. As if you can protect me.” The declaration escapes her mouth before she can even stop it.

“Do you want to be protected by me, or from me, doll?” A pause lingers in the air, before he lowly chuckles—one that forces her to laugh with him though an uneasy feeling resides within her bones.

“By you, preferably.” She jokes, playing with the pendant of her necklace. A shadow looms by the open doorway, obscuring the stream of light that spills in from the hallway; the deafening silence panics her. “Mum!” She shouts, discarding the phone to the side in a frenzy.

“Yes! I just had a cup of tea for you, were you not studying?” The door is pushed open by nonetheless, her mother who waddles across the carpeted floor to settle the hot beverage down on the table.

“I was, I’m just tired now. Maybe I’ll come back to it later.”

“No, no. Go to bed, dear. I’m off to work, make sure you’re outside by 8, I’ll drop you.” A soft kiss is placed on her forehead, she is calmed by the maternal affection seeing her mother to the door before she dashes back into her room to find her phone.

The call must have been disconnected in the process of her flinging it elsewhere, her hands shake violently as she’s, pathetically, unable to hold the phone steady in her grasp. Mings has spammed her several times with messages, she doesn’t bother to read any of them.

modern-division: i’m tired, going to bed.

psycho.killer: goodnight, babygirl

In the midst of wandering through the aisles of the library, seeking books two shelves above her head, it instantaneously occurs to her that she’s never actually paid much attention to Yuyu and Mings’ pet names that they have for her. Doll, babygirl, darling, love, honey, etc. The list seems to never end yet she ponders the primary reason they get so comfortable around her is because she has never actually given them a reason to stop being so affectionate.

A cascade of books tumble down from the shelf, hitting the floor with a powerful slam—jumping backwards on instinct, she grimaces reaching down from them as a few pairs of eyes stare at her from their tables. Her face heats red in embarrassment, until another pair of hands comes to assist her.

"Goodness, how did you manage this?" Her eyes gleam up into another's; words lodge in her throat upon realisation of the being in front. It's the 'hot librarian', as her and Yeji have trademarked.

"Oh, I—they just fell." He raises his eyes at her.

"They just. Fell." A mischievous smile is sent her way as he stacks the books back onto the shelf, that's too high for her to reach anyway. "We'll call it the force of gravity then, shall we?" Shyly, she nods, handing him the last of the books. Her eyes reel in the name scrawled across the name tag. A thought Yeji will be pleased to hear drifts into her mind.

“I’m Yujin, by the way. I’m always at the help desk if you need to me to stack book that fall off the shelf again.” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. It clearly says ‘Yunho’, on his name tag. He stalks off in the opposite direction before she can question him, leaving her abandoned in the desolate aisle.

modern-division: the hot librarian lied about his name.

modern-division: I wonder why

Paranoia is no longer a delusion. It must be very true that someone is following after her.

Under the banner of the night, herself and Yeji walk back home after a long day of studying. They amble down the cobbled roads, yet her eyes cannot help but glance over her shoulder. There must be a man of some sort following them, his long calculated strides send a wave of fear pummelling through her. Instantly, she grabs Yeji’s hand dashing down the road towards the convenience store.

The dim lights flicker upon their arrival, she cowers behind the large aisles; ignoring her friend’s imperatives watching as a tall figure saunters into the store.

It’s him.

Jeong Yunho, the Librarian.

Or ‘Yujin’ as he addresses himself for reasons she assumes she will never know why.

Is he her stalker?

“I thought there was someone stalking us. There was a guy who walked all the way from the library to the road we just crossed behind us. I took a detour as well and he kept following.” She breathes out, leaning her head against the shelf.

“Are you kidding? Why didn’t you tell me?” Yeji squawks.

“I didn’t want him to suspect that I knew he was following.”

Her eyes sought ‘Yujin’ who gives her a sincere smile before he makes his way to the exit.

modern-division: I think there was someone following me

psycho.killer: ??? are you home? are you safe now?

modern-division: yes, but shit that was scary.

psycho.killer: let me call you bbg, I’ll help get your mind of it

Her phone vibrates in her hand, her finger traces over the red button before she lifts the device to her ear. His smooth tone infiltrates her ears again, easing the anxiety prevalent in the fibre of her muscles. She doesn’t know how Min does it. He helps her forget all about her problems, it’s as if he himself is the cure.

“Oh hey, baby. There was something I wanted to ask.” He pants slightly, the distant sound of leaves crunching drifts from the other end of the line.

“Are you outside?” He laughs.

“Yeah I’m walking home.” His hasty breaths pervade the line. One after another, a series of profane thoughts enter her mind. She is so disappointed in herself. “So, you got a boyfriend?”

“Why? Do you wanna ask me out on a date?” She teases, a lock of hair curls around her forefinger, the vibrato of his voice truanting into her ears, exhilarating her core as rush of certainty floods into her.

“Maybe, do you have a boyfriend?” He piques, she cannot help but grin at his words as if they are both playing a dangerous game of seduction, one she has never played before and one he has won a countless number of times.

“No.” Her truthful answer is not one that hurts her, though she says it as if she’s lying and has had countless lovers before in the past. Perhaps this is the persona that will have her enigmatic paramour crawling towards her.

“You never told me your name.” He acknowledges, 'Mings' has only ever called her 'doll'. Her moves are careful as she continues her cyber relationship with this unknown man, there's a reason she's at the top of her class—he thinks. A thread of messages enter from another chat room, his sharp eyes reeling in the words of his partner.

“Why do you wanna know my name?” Sheer curiosity. Yes, he told her he’s called ‘Mings’ but it’s just a silly nickname used to gain her trust. What is it really short for: Mingi? Mingyu? And Yuyu? Is it possible that he is Yunho? A foreign uneasiness rushes into her skin, she’s cautious as she sits up in her desk chair.

A bad feeling, an intuition of some sort.

He’s going to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear.

“I wanna know who I’m looking at.” Her finger immediately presses, harshly, onto the red button throwing her phone onto her desk. Her body jumps up from her seat, heart pounding furiously against her chest. With her body leaning closer to the window, her eyes outcast the front lawn in which a slender figure stands outside. A ghosts mask rests upon his face, his lanky frame is shrouded in a loose black cloth concealing the shape of his body. A large brick phone is held up against his ear, when he catches her staring down at him, his head cocks eerily to the side.

psycho.killer: Pick

psycho.killer: Up

psycho.killer: The

psycho.killer: Phone

psycho.killer: Doll.

•••

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, REPURPOSE, OR PLAGISRISE ANY OF THE WORK HERE

A/N: happy 'late' Halloween! my timing is atrocious, but here's a 'small snippet' of a fic i may continue if my writing schedule allows. atm its a one-shot. What's your favourite scary movie? 👻

let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for any future fics I post!

tag list: @n0v4t33z @potatos-on-clouds @jjongwho

73 notes · View notes

orimuraa · 2 months ago

Text

.❦ ݁˖ Cause I’m so stupid in love - Lee Heeseung

(synopsis) ೀ winning a ticket to an enhypen fansign was the craziest thing that had ever happened to y/n. but what happens when she accidentally catches the eye of her ult bias? 𑁍ࠬܓ

idol!heeseung x fan!reader ✧₊⁺ fluff, crack ✧₊⁺ oneshot ✧₊⁺ wc 3.2k ✧₊⁺ petnames, includes all of enha, a couple of ocs as y/n’s friends

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"OMG! GUYS I GOT IN!! I'M GONNA MEET ENHYPEN!!" y/n screamed to her best friends on the phone. for context, y/n has just won the raffle for an enhypen fansign and now she is going to meet them and her husband ult bias, heeseung. hanni, seojun, and yuri were y/n's closest friends and her number one supporters. there was no doubt that y/n was drop-dead gorgeous. you would have to be blind to say that y/n wasn't pretty. so when her best friends heard the news about her meeting enhypen, they immediately started to plan how they can make heeseung fall for y/n. seojun was like the older brother that y/n never had while hanni and yuri were like the two older sisters she never had. "GIRL YES!!! WE NEED TO PLAN RIGHT NOW!! meet us at the mall in 15 babes!" yuri screamed, immediately thinking of y/n's outfit.

when everyone arrived at the mall, they all started shrieking and jumping up and down in excitement, ignoring the weird stares they got. "okay so i was already thinking about your outfit while hanni was looking at makeup looks and hairstyles and junnie was planning what you're gonna say to everyone!" yuri exclaimed. as a fashion major, this is basically what yuri has been waiting for her entire career. to dress up her baby to go and meet her man.

the afternoon was filled with many giggles, lots of trying on stuff, and taking a small snack break to replenish their energy. in the end, y/n ended up with a baby blue dress with a white shrug, a pair of black, platformed, mary jane shoes, and a white miu miu bag. "and for your hair, i was thinking of two little heart buns!" hanni giggled. "ughhh you're literally gonna be IRRESISTIBLE! heeseung will definitely want you girl!" hanni added.

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it was the day of the fansign and y/n was beyond nervous. she kept walking back and forth in her room, going over what she's gonna say to everyone. her best friends had just left after doing her hair and makeup, and wishing her the best of luck. it was now 15 minutes before y/n would leave her apartment and go meet enhypen.

the car ride to the fansign was the most nerve-wracking ride y/n had ever taken. she decided to take a taxi instead of the metro system as it would take her directly to the spot. "thank you!" y/n thanked the driver and quickly payed before brushing out her skirt. with as much confidence as she could get, she walked into the building (i have little to no knowledge of how fansigns work so this is all based off of how i think they go, please bear with me) and carefully took notes of the interior. she was given a ticket for her place in the line that read, 15. oh my lord- i'm number 15!!! i really won the lottery y/n thought to herself.

15 minutes later...y/n was finally able to see the boys come out and sit down at the long table. she could feel her heart pumping like crazy at the mere thought of being able to go up and meet her all-time favorite group. when it was her turn, she anxiously sat down in the first chair. the first member was jungwon. "hello, what's your name?" he asked, his dimples being much cuter up close. "h-hi, i'm y/n. i've been a fan since i-land," y/n said nervously, not believing that it was even real that she was meeting her favorite leader. "pretty name! i'm so grateful for fans like you. i always love hearing how long certain fans have been with us!" he smiled, melting y/n's heart. "of course! people like you guys who are so talented should definitely get as much recognition as possible!" the conversation was brief but as y/n had to move onto the next members. being able to talk to everyone felt insane but now, she was more nervous then ever because she was now sitting in front of the last member, her bias, lee heeseung. as she sat down, she felt his soft gaze on her and anyone could've noticed how heeseung looked like he just saw an angel. "hi i'm y/n...you're actually my ult bias so i'm so sorry if i seem super nervous right now," y/n laughed nervously, and heeseung found it adorable. "pretty name for a pretty girl," he smirked and y/n immediately felt her face heat up. "i'm flattered that i'm your bias. i'm a lot of people's bias, but you are by far, and if not, the prettiest girl i have ever seen." he flirted, wearing that smirk that y/n knew well. he took her hand into his and y/n felt like she was floating. her ult bias, whom she has been stanning since pre-debut, is holding. her. hand. and calling her pretty. if that's not winning in life, y/n doesn't know what is. they spent the rest of their short time together chatting but never once letting go of each other's hands.

when the staff told y/n she had to move along, heeseung put on the cutest pout ever and promised y/n that they'll see each other again soon, and scribbled something down in her album.

of course, y/n thought that she would never actually meet heeseung again and that it would be impossible, but here she was, back at home, staring at the phone number heeseung had left her. hey pretty girl, i really enjoyed your presence and i want to get to know you better. text me when you can, ###-###-####. xoxo, heeseung. "oh. my. god." she whispered, being in too much shock to even speak properly. the lee heeseung, had just given her his phone number. scrambling to find her phone, she grabbed it and immediately opened messages, going straight to her group chat with her best friends to fangirl over this.

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heeseung was not able to focus on anything else after y/n had sat down in front of him. he tried hard to focus on the other engenes he was meeting but ended up drifting his thoughts back to y/n. he did feel guilty about it and when an engene brought it up, he made the excuse of a bit of fatigue and jet lag. however, once the fansign came to an end, all the members met up just to chat with each other how it went. "sooo...anything to share?" jake asked the group, wanting to hear the juicy gossip. heeseung looked away, not wanting to share anything about his encounter with y/n. "yeah actually! there was this super sweet girl who said she has been stanning us since i-land! she kept complimenting how far we've come and how we deserve all the recognition and stuff! i think her name was y/n?" jungwon explained, immediately catching the interest of heeseung. "oh my gosh yeah! she was so sweet! i was able to chat about layla with her without getting argued with how someone's dog cough gaeul cough is smarter than layla!" jake said, side-eyeing sunghoon who just rolled his eyes at him. heeseung started to zone out a bit about y/n again. what if the members like her as well? wait, do i even like her? i just met her! heeseung had a lot on his mind but the slight nudge of jay's arm brought him back. "dude, you alright? you've been strangely quiet since we finished," jay asked, concerned for his only hyung. "yeah, just tired i guess..." heeseung replied, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. jay just shrugged it off and got in the van to go back to their dorms and relax.

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meanwhile, y/n had been panicking about whether or not she should text heeseung. deciding to woman up, and shoot him a text, y/n sat on her bed and carefully thought out her messege.

y/n: hey this is y/n from the fansign :) is this heeseung?

heeseung?: oh hey y/n! i was starting to think that you'd never text!

y/n had to put her phone down for a moment to truly believe that LEE HEESEUNG was texting HER.

y/n: ah sorry about that! i just got some time to relax and text you >.<

heeseung: no worries! i was actually wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out sometime?

y/n: but i might get you into a scandal :( here, call me now if you can to discuss

y/n soon felt her phone ring and had to take a few deep breathes before answering. "hey heeseung! so when were you thinking of and where? it's kinda hard to go somewhere without you getting spotted!" y/n joked, earning a slight chuckle from the man on the phone. "yeah...maybe you could just come over to the dorms and we can watch a movie? i just want to get to know you better," heeseung replied, his voice slightly distorted from the phone. "y-yeah that sounds fine. how about next week??" y/n asked, not being able to help herself from stuttering due to the fact that her and her ult bias, lee heeseung, are gonna hang out together. "sure! i'll send you the address. arrive at 10am next friday y/n!" heeseung exclaimed. and then, all y/n heard was the sound of heeseung hanging up the call. "god dammit y/n, what did you get yourself into??" she groaned, pulling at her hair a bit. in all honesty, y/n really wanted to go over, but she also knew that if anyone saw her enter their dorm or be seen with heeseung, it could very well ruin his career. deciding to make the most of the opportunity, y/n put those thoughts on hold and decided that she would just have fun with heeseung. she would be lying though if she said that she didn't find heeseung hot and didn't have a crush on him, but she also didn't want her hangout with him tomorrow to be awkward. little did she know, there was some mutual pining going on between the two of them.

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the week leading up to their hangout was filled with many texts and life updates between heeseung and y/n. the pair quick;y grew super close and now more than ever, couldn't wait to meet up again.

the morning of, y/n was up early, making sure she had everything in order and ready to go over to heeseung's. hanni, yuri, and seojun came over to hype her up again as she was feeling quite nervous. getting dressed and doing her hair and makeup nice and simple, y/n decided to pass time by just chatting with her friends until it was time for her to go.

finally, it was time for y/n to hop on the metro system and take it down to the enhypen dorms. the ride there was easy as she didn't need to transfer lines. making her way up the stairs, she found herself in front of the door with a 1009 on the door as the apartment number. knocking on the door gave y/n worse anxiety because she was not only entering her crush/biases living space, BUT enhypen's! her all-time favorite group. the sound of the door opening knocked y/n out of her thoughts and she suddenly felt her heart rate increase. "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE THE GIRL HEESEUNG HYUNG LIK-MJSBHGSHS!" y/n was immediately greeted with sunoo yelling, only to get tackled by jungwon, who was attempting to get sunoo to shut up. y/n just watched the two pocketz roll around on the floor when someone clearing his throat caused the pair and y/n to look up. there was heeseung, standing in the hallway, looking like he would absolutely murder the two on the ground. his eyes read, "we'll talk later. this isn't over." mkaing the two boys shiver a bit. "i'm so sorry y/n. please ignore these idiots and come inside!" and just like that, heeseung's whole demeanor changed when he was talking to y/n. she slowly stepped over the pocketz, who were still lying on the ground, and followed heeseung to his room. looking around, she could see framed pictures of all seven of them at award shows, music bank, and mv shooting places. there were also a couple trophies, and some random decor that made the place very homey. following heeseung into his room, she looked around and saw his room exactly like how she saw in the video where they showed off their new dorms. (ik they live on two different floors, so just pretend that all of enha was on the same floor hanging out together) the only difference was that it had a bit more stuff lying around and it was a lot brighter due to heeseung opening the curtains a bit. "woah, this is just like i saw in the video," y/n mumbled, mainly just talking to herself. she heard heeseung chuckle a bit and reply. "yeah..well, it's a bit messy..sorry 'bout that," he said while rubbing his neck sheepishly. "no no it's fine! it's actually very cozy," y/n smiles, and heeseung finds himself falling for her a little more.

the two ended up watching a movie together and y/n slowly found herself drifting off, surrounded by the comfort of heeseung's warmth and smell. heeseung felt a weight leaning on his shoulder and when he looked over, he saw y/n, peacefully sleeping and looking so adorable. he quickly positioned her into a more comfortable position and snuggled into her. i really shouldn't be feeling this way about a fan...but y/n's more than just a fan... he thought to himself.

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y/n woke up to someone's arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to the mysterious person's chest. carefully, she looked over her shoulder to be greeted with heeseung's beautiful face, buried into her back. now this is most definitely something out of crazy dream because one moment, y/n is heeseung's biggest fan and would probably never meet him, and the next, she's cuddled up with him and taking a nap together. reading the time, 1:09 pm, y/n decided that maybe she could plan something for her and heeseung to do here in the dorm so no one would spot them. so, carefully slipping out of heeseung's hold, y/n makes her way into the living room/kitchen and spots jake, sunghoon, and riki playing games on the sofa. "oh- hello," she bows, remembering that these are her favorite idols and still wanting to make a good impression. "oh my goodness! are you y/n?? we've heard so much about you!! we only had a short period of time to talk last time so this is really nice!" jake exclaimed, making his way over to y/n. he really was just like a cute little puppy. "yes hi! i can't believe this is actually real. thank you for having me over," y/n smiles brightly. "of course! actually, we've noticed a change in heeseung hyung's attitude and we think it's because of you! he's always so smiley now and always updates us about you," sunghoon adds, with riki trailing in behind him, nodding his head in agreement. after talking a bit more with them, y/n notices out of the corner of her eye, a figure slumped against the door frame. jake, sunghoon, and riki take this time as a time to escape their lovey dovey-ness and head back to their rooms. turning and seeing a freshly-woken-up heeseung wearing the cutest pout ever, she walks over and simply adores his little pout. "woke up and you were gone," he mumbled, sleep evident in his voice still. "thought you left but turns out you were too busy with them." he adds, his lower lip jutting out more. truth be told, y/n wasn't really listening as she was too busy adoring his features. then, all of the sudden, heeseung wrapped his body around y/n's and carried her over to the couch.

after a comfortable silence filled with cuddles and affectionate gestures, heeseung takes a deep breath and turns to face y/n. "y/n, can i be real with you?" he asks, breaking the silence. y/n can only nod as she for some reason, can't form any words at the moment. maybe it's his doe eyes staring right at her, filled with nothing but softness, care, and maybe something else? "i'm just gonna say it. i think i'm in love with you. no, actually, i know i'm in love with you. i know we've only really known each other for a month now and this is our second time meeting, but i truly believe that you are the one for me. you help me get through tough days of training, and root for me like no one else has. you make me feel enough for myself and i truly thank you for that. i totally understand if you don't feel the same way, but i just wanted to let you know." heeseung confessed. it took y/n a second to process the fact that her bias just confessed feelings to her but then she was able to form some words and reply. "i'm so glad that i can be that person for you seungie," she starts, taking his hands into hers. "i actually feel the same way. whenever i was feeling down or discouraged, i would just listen to your words or lyrics and they just made me feel so loved. i should be the one thanking you! you have helped me for almost 4 years now, and i'd be so stupid to say i didn't like you back. lee heeseung, i like you so much and i have since the minute i saw you on i-land. thank you for being the reason i smile and laugh nowadays." y/n and heeseung meant every single word they said to each other. they had both been each other's person for the past month past 4 years for y/n and they truly felt something special for each other. "can i kiss you?" heeseung whispers, leaning so close to y/n, their faces mere centimeters apart. "yes," and with that singular word, heeseung closed the gap between them. their lips were like puzzle pieces, they fit perfectly together and everything just felt so complete now that they were together. the kiss was passionate, yet soft, and was sweeter than anything y/n or heeseung had ever tasted. when they finally pulled apart, heeseung rested his forehead against y/n's. whispering "i'm so stupid in love with you" against her lips, he pecks her again, short and sweet, yet filled with love. "soo...one last question. will you be my girlfriend?" "is that even a question? yes!!" and the two stuck together for the rest of the day, treasuring their moments together. heeseung figured that telling management was for another day. today was filled with their crazy, stupid love.

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first heeseung fic!!! i honestly couldn't help but feel real delulu while writing this but it's okayyyy....delulu is the solulu after all. hope you guys enjoy this!! reblogs, likes, and feedback are very much appreciated! <33

#₊˚⊹♡𝖄ᥱȷі's 𝖂᥆rks #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen #heeseung fluff #enhypen fluff #heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung scenarios #enha #enha x reader #enha fluff #enha imagines

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wasteofbandagesxx · 13 days ago

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I wanna live

{Dazai x reader}

warning: toxic relationship, suicide, forced suicide, lack of communication, pressure, Dazai losing his sanity

"Dazai your not listening to me!"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of listening to people telling me that there's hope in life, and things are gonna be ok."

The relationship has been complicated these past few weeks, almost a few months. You were dating one of the port mafia executives and of course, your dating the demon prodigy himself. Dazai Osamu, his charms never failed to amaze you, but it's his humor and personality that attracted you.

His sweet words pulled strings to your heart, you couldn't help but fall for the devilish man. He had a demons tongue, almost like the master of seducing woman. He was a womanizer after all, until he met you. Something about you just made him interested, wanting to know more about you. You weren't like any other woman he's ever dated. You were genuinely sweet, carefree, and resilient.

Now the relationship has gone down hill, after 3 years of dating, everything has changed. The death of friends and the constant missions be affecting their relationship. It didn't cause any fights, just less time together, but ever since Oda died, things completely changed. Dazai did nothing but drink his sorrows away and slightly take his anger out on you. You do your best to comfort him, let him know that he's not alone. On the top of the mafia base, you two were having a little date, until Dazai lost his shit. His day was bad, but he pretty much reached his breaking point. You tried talking to him, but he just pushes you away.

"Dazai, there's more to life than just suicide. You know I can't handle the negativity no matter how hard I try. You pressure it into me and it scares me! I constantly worry about you and check on you because I care about my boyfriend. My own boyfriend can't even acknowledge the fact that someone is there for him, that I'm there for him! Am I not enough for you to live?" You sobbed, pouring your heart out and all Dazai could do is stand there speechless.

"Y/n, Darling....there's nothing for me here. This place is s hell hole. It's not like I-"

"....Dazai?"

Dazai stood frozen, a crazy smile slowly formed onto his face before he even looks directly at you, as if he came up with an idea.

"Let's commit double suicide, for real this time." He said, the desperation in his voice was obvious. You got scared, as much as you wanted to run off you still wanted to try and support your boyfriend, even though Dazai will never listen or seek for your comfort in a time like this. "Dazai, I've told you this 100 times. I'm not doing it." The anger in your voice was very clear that you didn't want to have this conversation again. He's tried convincing you multiple times, even when your at your worst. Despite all that, you were never broken enough to take your own life. "Dazai, please-"

"Let's go to the afterlife together! We won't have to worry about anything. Belladonna, we can rest in piece and live the way we want in the afterlife!" He grabs you by the hand and pulls you close in excitement but you weren't having it. You quickly pulled away and shoved him back. "Your fucking insane."

"Only for you, and death!" Dazai laughs it off like a kid at a comedy show, he knew that wasn't right to say but he doesn't think before he says something.

"Dance with me Y/n! Let's dance our way into the afterlife, and rest in peace like forever lovers." He grabs your hand again and drags you to the edge of the roof, u tried hardening your foot on the ground but he kept dragging you until you both were on the very edge. The air blows against your face, you were too focused on trying to stay alive and Dazai couldn't care less as he admired the view of the city that he will no longer see. You screamed and yelled, trashed and tried to punch at him but it was no use, his strength was too much for you to overpower and there was nothing you can do. Nobody can hear your cries of help because you were too high in the air for them to hear. You didn't want this. "Ready my love?"

He slowly leans forward over the edge, and that's when you found the strength to save yourself.

"I wanna live!!"

You forced your strength against him with your back and made him tumble backwards, he hit his head on the hard concrete as he groaned in pain. You immediately got away from him and stood up with tears streaming down your face and your eyes showing fear. Dazai sits up and takes a good look at you, but he couldn't bring himself to say something as he spotted the tears running down your face. The fear in your eyes made him finally get the hit, he understood, you didn't want to die with him. He was too much in his delusional fantasies to be thinking about what you want, how you felt about all this. Regret written all over his face, you had to sit down when your legs were trembling so you wouldn't fall and hurt yourself. You were too busy processing what just happened while Dazai was processing his mistake. He couldn't force you, not when you don't want it. It's not love, it's forced . He felt bad, he looks at you again to apologize but couldn't find the words when he witnessed the fear in your eyes gotten worse. How could he mess up this badly?

"I wanna live."

#dazai x reader #anime #bungou stray dogs #anime and manga #bsd #bsd x you #fanfic #fyp #dazai osamu

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starchaserdreams · 1 year ago

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My fics on AO3

Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.

Jegulus/Starchaser

Temptation Eyes (Now Complete!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.

Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.

How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?

But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus

Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.

I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.

Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Prongsfoot/Bambibelle

What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.

The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.

A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.

The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

Wolfstar

Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love

6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.

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nerves-nebula · 16 days ago

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Once I told my friend people that have had experiences with incest deserve a space to work through their shit so it can totally be in art for those purposes, and also some people have weird kinks, it’s fiction, so leave them to their spaces. And like two days later he recounted that I had said people should be allowed to do incest and fuck their families and what have u. Because he didn’t actually listen to what I was saying. He just heard incest and went ew ew ew, and jumped to the absolute worst conclusion. That is why although I tell him everything, I will never open up to him about any of my shit in that area, and also I reeeeeaaaalllyyyy appreciate your openness when it comes to discussing this stuff and putting it in your art. If u weren’t I would simply keep all my feelings on my weird sibling shit inside and die with it, but I’ve actually been able to think about it and work through it. Your turtle art surrounding incest just makes me feel very seen

ok well first this is very sweet so thanks for sharing <3 but now I'm going to dip into my opinion on how ur friend sucks

not sure how to say this other than that I think that's malicious. now i'm not a super forgiving person in the first place (I am the king of hitting the bricks when it comes to relationships. do NOT get attached to me), but i really don't know how you get that out of that conversation without being kind of malicious, or at least coming to the conversation with a pre-established idea of what you think your friend is saying, and then just holding onto it even when they're actually explaining shit to you. which i find repulsive. that's a horrible way to enter a conversation, especially with people who you're supposed to care about.

to me that's at least subconsciously malicious. that's a level of "i'm not gonna hear new perspectives" that would make me think "oh this guy's never gonna be able to understand me" like. you've gotta be pretty stuck in your own mind for that kinda thing.

my bestie has some friends who, no matter how much you talk to them, have already decided how they're going to interpret anything you say. I've told her to cut one of them off for a long time and she's recently actually done it cuz he's just so insufferable, and he can't change unless he decides to.

like if you're so incensed with disgust that you convince yourself of a lie then i think you're a bad person who is not safe to be around. and furthermore i wouldn't still be friends with someone who can't understand that fiction is not real cuz 1) that's insane and 2) that's insanely dangerous if they ever decide something i make in fiction is worth hurting me about

sorry for the rant, and obviously take this all with a grain of salt (I don't know your entire relationship with this guy so i could be way off base here) but you deserve better friends than that. And i am the king of sneeringly deciding people aren't good enough to be my friend lmao.

#nnstuff #ask #incest tw #asks are sweethearts

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fandomxo00 · 3 months ago

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House Of Gold - Part 3 - Talk talk

characters: Logan Howlett!Human!AU x Audra Everly!OC

warnings: Fluff, teasing, some deep talk kinda, kissing/makeout

word count: 2.6k

All of the cool that you had before stepping in the car immediately vanished as you sat next to Logan. When you first sat down you had looked at the stirring wheel which led you to think about his hands as he firmly held on to the wheel. That made you think about where his hands have been, the grip he had on you while kissing you ferociously, the way he grasped at you while he fucked you. You felt a familiar blush run up your chest as you darted your eyes over to your lap.

"Uh, how are you?" Logan started, his voice inviting as he tried to start conversation.

"I've been good, just working really."

"What do you do?"

"Oh I work at a bookstore with my grandparents. I grew up there and never really left. Now my grandma is starting to struggle to get around even though she would never admit that-." You paused at your rambling, glancing over at Logan who balanced his eyes, bouncing back between you and the road. "At this point I could move out but they need someone to look after them."

"I'm sure they wouldn't want you to feel held back." Logan noted as you frowned over at him.

"They aren't holding me back." You argued. Logan sighed as he shook his head as he look forward before glancing over at you.

"That's not what I meant. You shouldn't make life decisions based on other people's needs, even the ones you love." Logan explained as you watched the carefully crafted words come out of his mouth, then you look out the window.

"I want to be there." You defended

"I'm sure you do." Logan replied.

"What do you want from me?" You snapped. "Oh your right, I'm miserable and if I could get out I would? Is that-."

"I'm not trying to do anything."

"Bullshit."

"You're right, I'm trying to get to know you and you're a brick wall."

"I am not." You grunted.

"You're overly defensive."

"You're nosey."

"Maybe I am." Logan hummed, an amused smile on his face. You rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms over your chest before looking back out the window and manifesting a brick wall between you and Logan, this man made you confused. "How did you meet Eva?"

"We were neighbors when we were little girls, our siblings were friends so naturally-actually." You paused, laughing as you shook your head. "We actually fought like wolves."

"What changed?"

"We grew up and wanted to be there for each other. It's almost like we're sister in a way." You replied, before a skip of slience. "Did you hire Justin?"

"I did." Logan hummed. "Did you go to school?"

"No." You sighed. "I pretty content with my job, always have been and I have the potential to run the Rose Mary's one day and I want to focus on that."

"Why do you like it so much?"

"It's quiet."

"I have a quiet place we could go to and keep talking for a bit?" He asked, glancing over at you as you frowned over at him.

"Aren't you hosting a party?" You questioned.

"Wade's already there, he can handle the host position for a little while." Logan affirmed.

"Who's Wade?"

"My friend."

"Well I'm going to let you know if you try and kidnap me I will punch you in the face, I take boxing classes." You warned, pointing your finger at him, teasingly, his eye crinkles wrinkling as he grinned.

"It's not too far away." He promised.

The two of you remained quiet, your silent agreement to stop whatever conversation you were having before. You didn't know if he felt that way, he seemed to love to talk but you were shutting down. As badly as you want the family life, the husband, or the hunky older man that wants to get to know you, you were intensely afraid of intimacy and for a long time you even struggled with just touching in general.

Your first real boyfriend, after inebriated first times and stupid one-night stands, you were met with a guy who was impulsive but hilarious, he promised you so much and then he went off with one of your friends. He was the first time sex was ever actually good, though he was also very immature, and he didn't take you seriously. Then you upgraded to a man who was interested in you, asking the intrusive questions, and so much hotter than your previous boyfriend. It was a trivial thing really but looks were important to you and not for the clique reasons. Because from such a young age you pictured this dream man in your life, a best friend, someone who wanted to know you and appreciated you, flaws, and something about a tall, strong, handsome man was something you wanted. You found comfort and attraction in Logan, call it daddy issues or whatever but he made you feel like women.

You flushed as you stared out the window as you entered a very tall car garage, and you turned your knees towards Logan. "Seriously are you going to kidnap me?" You blurted as Logan finished rolling down his window and confronted the parking attendant.

"She's joking."

"Blink twice-."

"He's right, it's just a little thing we do." You smiled, reaching out and putting your hand on his tan forearm, he was soft but his arm firm, his skin warm to the touch, your breath became heavier as your fingers lightly grasped at his skin. He started to lift himself up to the side to grab his wallet before the tendent began to talk.

"Alright, it's free for thirty minutes, an hour is 5-."

"We'll do the hour just in case." Logan replied as he opened his billfold and handed the kid a five-dollar bill. He was quick as he opened the gate and let us go through, you were feeling the blush that pinkened your face, creeping up to the tips of your ears and front of your chest. This man didn't even have to do much to get you sweating but you were incredibly embarrassed by the situation. You don't know whether it was fight or flight or acting that saved you in that moment, or maybe even the desire to touch him. His hand moved to yours that rested on his forearm, you couldn't believe you hadn't moved it, but Logan didn't seem to mind. His dark eyes find yours as he squeezes your fingers lightly in his palm as you softened your grip before sliding your hand away. "Good save back there."

"Sometimes I don't think before I speak."

"Doesn't everyone? We all say stupid shit sometimes, but in this case-." He laughed; his voice was grumbly but airy. You hummed quietly as you held your other fist in your hand, looking away from him.

You could believe the trust you were giving to this man as he drove you further up the ramp until you got to the top of the building. There were a few cars scattered around the large expanse of space, but it was pretty much empty. He parked in the middle of the parking lot before shutting off his car. "This is usually full during the week, lots of tall business buildings full of important and busy people." You nodded your head, remaining silent, before glancing over at him to see the confusion on his face before he looked away. "I wish you'd just talk to me."

"Did you ever think I was communicating by not using words?" You retorted.

"I'm not here to argue with you, Audra." Logan said, firmly. "Your sending mixed messages and I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Does your mind ever tell you to do something you don't want to do?" You murmured, meeting his eyes. "I know what I want, that's clear as day but it's like I can't breathe and the only way to take a breath is to shut down." You scanned his eyes as he looked over at you and breathed out. "It's not like I can control it either, its random. I can have hot sex with you but when you hold my hand I have a panic attack."

"Well I can remind you that you don't have to."

"Don't have to?" You trailed.

"You don't have to shut down, if you focus on what you want enough, you will get what you want, sometimes it's that easy and sometimes its messy and confusing." Your lips suddenly felt dry as you looked into his green eyes, his face serious but soft as he looked into your own eyes.

"Okay." You mumbled, you looked at Logan with an almost trance like look on your face, this look was addicting to him.

"We uh, should go sit on the hood, the slight breeze, the distance sounds of the city below." You turned your body to open the door and step out into the parking lot. You wondered over to the hood of the car as he did to the other side of the hood and sat down towards the end of the front. You pushed yourself up further on the car, hoping you wouldn't hear the hood pop down from your weight as you stared down at the hood. "Don't worry, it's pretty sturdy."

"I see that." You pushed your hair away from your face, your sunglasses forgotten long ago in your bag, at some point you flung them off while you'd been arguing with him. You looked out, the parking garage small enough to where you could see out into the city. But you couldn't hear the hussle and bussle of the streets, all of it so distance it was only a soft white noise. "You're right, it is quiet."

"This is where I come, when I'm overwhelmed, I bring out friends when they're struggling and my daughter when she is upset." Logan explained.

"Eva mentioned that." You started, as Logan turned to look over at you, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "That you had a kid, how old is she?"

"She's twelve." Logan revealed, his eyebrow quirking up as his eyes followed you as you leant back.

"What's she like?"

"Well uh, she's stubborn and defiant but she's also very smart. She likes to steal from Walmart with her friend, Ellie. Wade's daughter."

"Same age?" You laughed.

"Yeah, they talk each other into it." He concluded, smiling over at you. You could barely notice it but he moved closer almost subconsciously. "So what's thing you want so badly?"

You smile for a second before squinting over at him, "What do you mean?"

"You're fighting yourself, what are you wanting that your fighting against?" The realization sunk on you, and you looked away a small blush dusting your cheeks.

"I don't know if you want to hear about that." You objected.

"You don't know that, what's it about?"

"About finding true love and having a family and not the-the basic thing that everyone imagines but in the way that it fuels me through life knowing that one day I will get there. Or I hope I do." You spoke out into the air, neglecting to look over at Logan.

"Really now?" You rolled your eyes as you reached out to slap at his bicep.

"Don't make fun of me, I warned you."

"I'm not. I've just never really cared about that before." Logan replied.

"Oh, that's reassuring." You laughed.

"That doesn't mean I'm not interested in you, it's just not my idea of a dream. When I was younger, being good at my job, being successful, being a mentor, having all of the things to show that I was doing well for myself. I think I actually like yours more."

"Yeah, I'm just feeding into America's patriarchal system."

"No." Logan shakes his head. "No, you just want to love others and that isn't a bad thing."

"Nice save." You smiled.

"I try." He murmured, as he looked down at your lips before moving in closer to you, his nose almost touching yours, you don't know how the two of you got closer, but it was like the conversation pulled the two of you together. "Audra." He murmured.

"Yeah." You breathed, your eyes focused on his plump bottom lip, his cupid bow above his thin upper lip, they were a pink mauve color and all you wanted was to feel them on yours.

"I don't want this to be just a fling." Logan declared, his right hand coming up to swipe his thumb across your cheek and hold your face in his hand.

"Me neither, don't let it be." You asked, as Logan smiled over at you as he looked into your eyes, his green eyes twinkling. God, he was dreamy.

"I'll try my best." He grinned.

"Are you going to kiss me yet?" Logan didn't waste a second after the invitation, his lips sealing over yours in a soft kiss, his other hand coming to your waist. You lean into his touch, letting him consume you wholey with only one kiss. His lips moved with yours and he breathed you in before moving back, your eyes opening to see why he left to watch as he moved his head to the other side before reconnecting your lips.

This was different from the first night, there was no rush, no hunger, you just wanted to be close to Logan. Your hand shakily reaches out for his chest, before sliding up to his jaw and pulling him in closer to you. He was so close to you, he smelt like vanilla, pumpkin spice and tobacco, you wanted to soak in a bath of what he smelt like. You part once again to breath before Logan pulls you into closer, your leg moving forward to rest on his lap as he pulled you into his side as he continued to meet your lips in soft velvety light kisses. When your other leg was draped in his lap, his hand rested on your calf while his other hand stayed around your body to pull you into him. As he met your lips again, the kiss was messier, his tongue slips between your lips and you lightly moan into his lips as your hands knot in his hair. Logan inhaled deeply as he continued to kiss you, trying to suck in air through his nose so he didn't have to separate his lips from yours. But you had to pull back, gasping for air before going to kiss at his jaw softly, his stubble rubbing against your lips before you find a spot just below his ear that makes him groan aloud. Logan's arm unwraps around your middle to thread his fingers through your hair and passionately connect your lips, then he stopped.

"We-we should slow down." Logan breathed.

"Why?"

"Because you aren't a fling, and I don't want you to confuse the two." Logan retorted, his voice raspy as he looked into your eyes, his hazel green eyes boring into you, your breathing finally regulating as you were no longer attached by the mouth. The hand in his hair loosens before running across his stubble again before lightly cupping his jaw and leaning in to softly press your lips against his, he pecked back at you, restraining himself as your hand slid from his jaw to his chest before falling beside you.

"Let's not tell anyone who doesn't already know, not yet, I mean I don't want everyone to think we're serious right away because it puts pressure-." You started to ramble, as his hand started soothing up and down your leg as he watched you intently.

"I get it, I'm not your dirty secret."

"Well right now you kinda are." You joked, leaning into him as you smiled.

"I guess so." He chuckled, jutting his chin out as he does before, he goes to kiss you. Logan's lips almost seemed coated in some addicting drug because you felt dizzy when he kissed you. "We should get heading back." He murmured as you groaned, he smiled at your protest. "It'll be fun, no one knows but us."

"I'll show you fun."

#hugh jackman #logan howlett #james howlett #wolverine #the wolverine #logan james howlett x reader #james howlett x reader #hugh jackman x reader #hugh jackman fanfic #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett x you #wolverine x reader #wolverine x you #Spotify

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mattmurdocksscars · 2 years ago

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Wrong

Hi, loves! This is a short, roughly 1k word piece I did for the TFC channel monthly challenge. This month’s challenge was song fic and so this piece is based off of the song wRoNg by ZAYN ft. Kehlani. I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (I think I managed to keep it pretty gender neutral!)

Genre: Angst with a happy ending!

Your friends with benefits situation was… getting out of hand. The sex was phenomenal, the friendship was amazing, but you could tell he was catching feelings. Which is all well and good but you… you were under the impression you weren't made to be loved. You were made for quick fucks and leaving before your partner woke up.

At least, that's what you convinced yourself of. Now you just had to convince him.

The two of you lay side by side, chests heaving and sweat sticking to your skin. You kept telling yourself you needed to cut him off, to distance yourself. But yet, every time he smiled your way or whispered his filth in your ear, you were putty in his hands.

Get outta there, girl, before you get hurt.

"That was…"

"Yeah." You both chuckled and you felt Matt reach for your hand. Before he could grab it though, you moved. Sitting up, you began looking around for your clothes.

"What are you doing?" You could hear the frown in his voice but you steeled yourself. This would be the last time.

"You say that like I don't do the same thing every time."

"I know but…"

"What?"

"Why don't you stay?" The question hung heavy in the air and you sighed.

"Matt, you know why. This is just friends-"

"We're not just friends and you know it."

"Don't, Matthew. Don't think because you're with me this is real." You feel the bed shift as he sits up.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks, on the defensive now. You sigh again and stand, pulling on your underwear then your jeans.

"Listen. Some people are made to be loved and others just make it. I'm the latter. You're the former. I'm a problem with problems and I'm not any good. For you or anyone else. So take what I'm willing to give and love it or hate it."

"Sweetheart…"

"No, Matt. I'm serious. I'm not… I wouldn't be good for you. I'm not exactly the type you take home to mom."

"I don't care about that. I just want you, why can't you see that?"

"I do see it. Which is why we're having this conversation."

"What can I do to convince you that you're worth it? Because you are, sweetheart. You're worth so much and I just want you to see that."

You can't help but to hesitate at his words. All the scathing things you could say to end this leaves you and you deflate a little.

"I don't know, Matt. This is just how I am, how I've always been. No one's ever wanted me for more than sex and I've always been okay with that."

"But now?"

"Now… now I find myself wanting to snuggle into your side and stay. To fall asleep next to you and see if your breakfast is really as good as you claim. But I can't… Matt, I can't let myself want that."

"But why not, sweetheart? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you! I trust you more than anyone probably. It's not you I don't have faith in. It's myself. I won't risk ruining this and losing you." You wrap your arms around your middle, holding yourself instead of seeking out his comfort.

"What's life without a little risk? You can't live your life in fear of what might happen. You'll never find happiness that way."

"Matt, please…" You whisper. He sighs and turns his back to you.

"Fine. Leave if you want to. But just know that I can't keep doing this. This isn't casual to me, not anymore. So if you leave, this is the last time."

You feel tears well at his words and you wipe furiously at your eyes. This was what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted to end things, didn't you?

Then why did it hurt so god damn much?

You quickly grab the rest of your clothes and throw them on. You make it to Matt's bedroom door before you pause to look back.

And that's what breaks you.

Matt is sitting with his head hanging and his fists clenched on top of his knees. He looks every bit like a man defeated and it breaks your heart and your resolve. You turn and rush at him, throwing yourself at him. He just barely catches you and you slam your lips on his. The kiss is fiery and passionate and tastes of the salt of the tears that run down your face.

"Promise me I'll never lose you. Not to anything other than your nightly activities."

"I swear." He breathes those two words into you and you shudder in his hold. He sounds reverent and a part of you settles a little, knowing he's serious.

"You've been looking in the wrong place for my love, you know." You tell him quietly.

"Oh? Where should I have been looking?"

You tighten your hold on him.

"It's been right here all along. I was just too scared to admit it. I've cared about you for a long time, Matt."

"I know. I'm just glad you're letting me in. You've got some pretty tough walls to get through." You snort.

"You say that and yet they fell like sand to you."

"Don't act like it didn't take months to get us to this point." Matt says with a chuckle. It gets you laughing too. Matt smiles at the sound and nuzzles into your neck. Your breath hitches at the intimacy of it and you feel Matt press a soothing kiss to your neck.

"You should stay the night. We can celebrate moving past friends with benefits and I can show you just how good my breakfast is in the morning."

"Don't you need to go out?"

"I won't tonight unless I hear something particularly bad. I want to stay in with you." He admits softly. You smile and press your face into his hair.

"That sounds great."

And so you undress a second time, this time with many more soft caresses. You spend the night entangled in Matt's sheets and you wake to the delightful smell of breakfast.

He hadn't been lying.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x you

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fountainpenguin · 8 months ago

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"When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide... but they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide~" (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 27 - “Boil Over (Bdubs, Scar)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Bdubs and Grian dance around each other while planning their jungle temple base design. Meanwhile, Scott comes out to Scar about his allay hybrid side. Scar, fearing his glitchy vex code will corrupt his friend, debates cutting ties. Honest conversations are had.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

BdoubleO100 - Phantom

Status: Yearning

Captain of New Star Station's phantom hybrid flock

💙 🧡 💚

By the time Grian swings open the door, wings perky and smile bright, it's too late to deny they're both gunning for something more than "casual roleplay dynamic chat" this evening. Bdubs went and stuck the scarlet feather on a gold clasp, which now hangs from a string at his neck. What are we? is a syrupy-sweet red herring overlaying the actual question of the evening, which is, of course… What are we? Or 'What are we gonna be?' if you wanna get technical.

Grian's face is flushed like he's been swooping laps around New Star all night. His eyes flick low enough to glance off the feather necklace, then bounce up again like he didn't see it. He totally did. There's too much mischief in his eyes. "Whoa," he says. He's fighting back a laugh or grin. He's losing both attempts. "You're really glittery."

"So are you," Bdubs points out.

"Mine's a squeaky clean skin," Grian tosses back. "My plumage would always look like this if I wasn't gathering messy resources and building all the time. What's your excuse?"

"Look at you! Coming on strong, poultry boy." Bdubs pushes through then, knocking Grian with his shoulder. Grian's apartment opens with the sitting area on the left - couch unoccupied - and the kitchen to the right. The floor's so shiny, it must've been freshly mopped. Or licked? Is there a mob that licks the floor? Maybe sniffers do that, though he's pretty sure there aren't any in New Star Station.

Grian's wearing socks striped red and white like candy canes. He shuts the door with a huff, then quips over his lifted wing muscle, "It's Poultry Man. But actually, it's not Poultry Man- Who's he?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"You got a new lip scar."

"Wait- For real? It crossed over?" Bdubs' fingertips jump to his mouth. Sure enough, the vertical gash Impulse made with his sword curls from his upper lip across his bottom. Yikes. It glows white against his hand. "Well… This'll all blow over soon."

"It looks like a soul wound. Did you get-"

"It's fine!"

There are places to sit at both the bar counter and in the living area. Grian didn't specify a preference. Bdubs realizes in that moment he's never been invited to Grian's place as a proper guest before. He's glimpsed it. But usually when someone's way down at the end of phantom hour and squirreled away in a building, he sends Martyn to handle it. Bdubs hunts the streets on raw wing power, but Martyn's a specialist. When it comes to twisting through little gaps, he's the best they've ever had.

He makes a split-second decision and walks towards the living area. There's a white rug, a nice coffee table, and plenty of room to sprawl. "Hey, did'ya ever find out why we're playing early next session?"

"What?" Grian mutters, tapping after him on socked feet. Then, "Oh, no… I've no idea. It's my birthday, though. Maybe that's why?"

"Hm," says Bdubs. Back in 3rd Life, he sat out a session once for birthday-related reasons. Grian seems like he's thinking the same thing, because he pauses between the couch and an armchair, hands resting on them both.

"… You think I'll miss next week?"

"I mean, if it were my birthday, I'd prob'ly write a list of things I wanted my basing buddy to do. I'm just saying."

"Well, just because it's my birthday, it doesn't mean it's his birthday. And he's not really one to miss a recording."

Yeah, that's true. One time in Limited Life, Grian tried his best to cover when his boss wasn't feeling well enough to focus. It must've really wrecked their sync-cord too, 'cuz Grian kept coughing and lilting sideways like emotions and viruses were dogpiling from above.

Honestly, Grian jumped online long enough to establish a bare-bones presence, then crawled into free-cam and flew off to take a nap. Took ages to find him when the session wrapped up, but there was this whole other side to the map where no one was really basing, and eventually they found his purple parrot soul tucked in a tree with his head under one wing. Figures. Hopefully he'll just stay offline next time, or else call someone in to wear his skin for a day like Cleo and Pearl did when they knew they couldn't make it.

Anyway, Bdubs cocks his head. "Weird day to run the session early though, right? You might wanna write a list of materials or something I can grab in case you're gone. Maybe we need to move base."

Grian frowns, wandering his eyes across the sitting area. His cheeks look full and flushed in the lantern light. "I'd still like a break from building bases that'll just be exploded or burned. I think I'd know if he wasn't going to play, though… Although, Season 9 is ending. What if he's quitting Hermitcraft?"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not-"

The glow of Grian's eyes dims in panic, his energy needed elsewhere as his soul starts to squirm. "What if he's quitting the Life series? I mean, maybe he had a fight with someone. Maybe he yelled at his friend?" He takes to pacing. Bdubs follows with ticking eyes, not breathing a word. Grian always paces when he can't settle down. His fingers fold in front of his mouth. "Maybe he doesn't want me anymore. Bdubs, this might be it. If he's walking out on Minecraft for good, this could be the last night I ever come off AFK."

"I'm sure that's not true, G." He keeps his tone as kind as he can, hands resting in his pockets. At least he doesn't have to concentrate on keeping his wings down. It's just the tail, and that's easy to curl away so it doesn't flicker or misdirect. "It's the middle of a Life series. He's not gonna ditch you. I mean, think of the viewers!"

"I mean, he could. He could just walk out. Maybe he's dying. Or maybe he wants Two to jump in and cover for me." Grian looks down at his body then and rubs his palms across his chest. A pulse of purple sparks darts across his wings, then fizzles out. Bdubs tilts his head, but doesn't jump in. Grian's not gonna want someone baby-talking him while he's flickering. "You know, I… I think he's probably moving bases out there. And he's been playing a lot of Phasmophobia. Maybe New Star's not going to recognize me as a Minecraft player much longer. I mean, that's what happened to Netty, right? Except for her, it was Sims."

"He's prob'ly just wrapping up obligations so he can say good-bye to Season 9 and plan for Season 10. We have meetings and paperwork down here. I bet they have do that kind of stuff out there too. He's got friends and a wife. You wanna talk? I mean, I'm not gonna have solutions, but maybe you can walk me through your feelings."

"He has a wife." Grian sounds… dazed. Shell-shocked. Like he's been clinging to a rope for a little too long and someone just came through and sliced it clean with a Sharpness II netherite sword. Uh. This isn't news to him, right? "He's married. Do you think he has a kid? Maybe I'm a dad. Well, maybe he's a dad… I guess I won't be one unless I want to be. Maybe that's why it's been a struggle to focus on Season 9. Bdubs, you have kids, right?"

Bdubs blinks. "Huh? Yeah. I mean… yeah, my beloved does." You guys all know that, right? His beloved's kids don't have their own accounts yet. Probably someday will, and then Bdubs will do what Impulse and Jewel did and request the newbie to move to New Star, like they did with the other two. They're expecting a third pretty soon, I think. He shrugs. Golly, it's weightless without his wings. "I get emotion bleed from 'em sometimes; they play on my account. I can tell 'em apart. They're sweet."

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#trafficblr #Grian #GoodTimesWithScar #Scott Smajor #BdoubleO100 #trafficfic #SnifferMyFeet #NPC Grian #Dog's Life #Dog's Life art #ridwriting #apparently art #mcyt #traffic life smp #Pixels Imperfect #fic announcement #bigbst4tz2 #Sniff and Pig

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starsarefire824 · 1 year ago

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For @wheelersboy @foodiewithdahoodie my madwheeler besties. 🖤 @perexcri tagging you too Babe cause Reasons™️.

Based off of @wheelersboy’s post from a few days ago. 😩

Kind of Best Friend

Hey Mike,

I'm not going to call you Shitface like I normally would, since, if you're reading this it probably means I'm dead or passed on or maybe just stuck in some agonizing hell with Vecna somewhere. I won't really know, will I? But the truth still is, if you're reading this, it means I'm not here anymore. And that's okay.

I mean I’m scared shitless right now, but you know it's like you said. Remember that one night at the quarry late last summer when the rest of the Party ditched us to go see Ferris Bueller for the four hundredth time? I had just broken up with Lucas and you were missing Will really badly and I was missing Billy. And we both were missing El. You had your feet hung over the edge of the quarry and I was scared I was going to fall. You threw your arm around my shoulder and chucked a rock into the pit. Then you drunkenly told me that every atom in our body was a billion years old and that if you really thought about it, it meant that we were made up of energy and that it would always be bouncing around the universe until the end of time. And you said that that really helped you when you couldn’t get Will being pulled out of the quarry out of your head.

Sometimes I think about that when Billy’s in my dreams too much.

And so yeah, if you're reading this maybe my brain isn't here and I can't fight you on any of your stupid ass plans anymore. And we can't sneak out of the lunch room to the alley between the art and science wing and eat lunch by ourselves when Eddie is being too insane. But maybe I'm still here somehow. Like the swirl of cream in your coffee in the morning or the wind kissing your hand. Like when you hung it out your dad's car window that one night when he picked the four of us up from the mall, and we were all too high to risk talking out loud. I watched your fingers glide through the air from the backseat and wished I thought anything else was as pretty as when the sky was periwinkle purple and the lightning bugs rushed by.

We never talked that night, after we had that awkward conversation in the parking lot while Dustin and Lucas were in the video store. We just sat in silence and watched two stupid comedies until one in the morning because you knew I didn’t want to go home. It was the nicest thing you ever did for me. I get that you like the quiet sometimes. I'm not Will. I know that. But I want you to know that you've weirdly become one of the best friends I've ever had. And I guess we can thank Mrs. Kelly for sitting us next to each other in 10th grade math for that. Who knew that getting high off sharpie markers and planning various murder plots to off Troy could be something to bond over.

I mean, you're still a total idiot, and you've been way too moody and a complete asshole to pretty much everyone since El and Will left. And you really do need to clean up your fucking armpit of a basement. Seriously Mike...if Hawkins isn't totally destroyed and you and Lucas and Dustin and the rest of them somehow make it out of this. Please, for the love of god, can you clean your basement. And afterwards, get everyone together, eat too much pepperoni pizza, and play a campaign for me. I'm sure Eddie can help you with that. And tell Dustin I’m sorry for making fun of him when he asked to sit in for Lucas. The truth is I wanted to play—but you know. I just couldn’t.

And speaking of the truth. Please! Do not waste any more of your or my time not being honest with yourself. I am El's best friend. I would kill you for her in a split second. You are aware of this right? But I know you Mike. I know the real reason why you've been so sad since the Byers moved to California. And now that I'm dead I can say this. It doesn't matter what it means. You need to be honest with yourself and be honest with Will and El.

You need to be brave Mike. It's fucking important. It really sucks, but it’s true that you never know when you might find out your life is over.

Don't do what you think is right. Do what your heart really wants. El will understand. El doesn't need you.

But Will does. So fucking fix it.

And also...just….thanks. For sitting with me when no one else would.

Your kind of best friend,

Mad Max

PS. My mom was wasted one time and told me you were her favorite friend of mine. And also, I am sorry for that one time when you slept over my house after we drank at the quarry. I was lonely and sad and way too drunk. But yeah, El and Will are lucky to have someone as nice as you…. with noodle arms that turns out are great for hugs.

When you're not being a whiny bitch anyway.

Also if you ever tell anyone about that night. Or for that matter, any of the nice things I just said about you in this letter... I WILL KILL YOU. I DON'T CARE IF I’M DEAD.

Mike chuckles a broken sob and sweeps a tear from the lined notebook page that Max has splattered with her bubbly handwriting in blue ink. It smears some of her words and he curses.

"Shit!" he hisses, wiping his snotty nose with the back of his hand and shifting quickly to spread the paper out flat on his bed. He tries to iron out a few of the creases and rereads some of his favorite lines, laughing all over again. He can hear her voice as she makes fun of him, can see the crease at her brow and the disgusted squint of her blue eyes. Eyes that flashed at him with hatred one minute and humor the next. His laugh grows thinking of her face, red hair wild and staring up at him from whatever short person's world she inhabited. Mike laughs to himself until he can't breathe. He laughs and laughs, until those laughs turn to sobs and the tears flow down his face and drip off his nose. He never expected it but the hole ripped open inside his chest at the thought of Max being gone forever is utterly agonizing.

Eventually, his lungs find air again and the tears stop falling. His body is completely exhausted and his eyes are red rimmed and raw. He dries his face and knits his brow together with determination, squinting over at the radio he left lying on his desk before he left for California. She's not dead, he thinks with determination. Max is lying in Hawkins Hospital, broken and sleeping. But not dead.

#madwheeler #stranger things ficlet #byler #max mayfield #mike wheeler #max’s letters #madwheeler supremacy #platonic madwheeler #romantic madwheeler #idgaf #live your life

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everwitch-magiks · 1 year ago

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Hashtag Soulmates

Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

I love fanfiction. I probably love fanfiction more than I love anything else. When I started to write 'Hashtag Soulmates,' I wanted to write something that tapped into all of that, something with fandom as the setting and fanfiction right at the heart of it. I didn’t actually have much of a plan (to center each chapter around a fic trope was something I decided on a whim for chapter two), but it felt very in character to have Henry be a passionate fic writer, and it seemed fun to have Alex be both someone Henry knew in real life and someone who was reading Henry’s work.

My favourite part of writing and posting this fic has been hearing how readers relate to it. So many people have talked to me about how much Henry’s journey resonated with them, and all the ways this story made them feel seen. I absolutely love all the conversations I've gotten to have through this fic, and how much that's made me think about fandom and its role in all our lives, the good and the bad of it and how I wouldn’t be the same person without it. 'Hashtag Soulmates' will always be special to me, because fandom is so incredibly special to me.

Below the cut is an excerpt from the fic that's from chapter one: it’s where we get to know about Henry’s day-to-day life as a prolific Jabriel fic writer. (Jabriel - James and Gabriel. I made up a fake ship based on Alex and Henry - see what I did there with the middle names? - so that they could effectively ship themselves. Simple, right?) Please enjoy this little window into Henry’s daily fic writing habits!

Henry is a respectable member of society.

He's worked as a copywriter for six years now. Most of his colleagues seem to like him well enough, although he's pretty sure that they all think of him as somewhat reserved. Still, he's entirely capable of navigating the office gossip by the water cooler and he tags along to the bi-weekly pub quiz gatherings often enough to actually keep getting invited. He’s sociable, polite and occasionally even funny. And he’s good at his job. That goes a surprisingly long way.

When Henry comes home from a day at the office or a night out at the pub, he curls up on the couch with his laptop and a cup of Earl Grey, and he writes. He writes about young men falling in love and subsequently falling in bed. He writes about kissing, and touching, and being kissed and being touched, about desire and desperation and sweet, sweet release.

Some of it he pulls from memory, but most of it is pure fantasy. Although it's not a wishlist, exactly. Henry is happily single for the most part, and the sex he writes isn't necessarily the sex he wants to have. It's more along the lines of very elaborate, often impossible daydreams, except Henry captures them on the page, edits them furiously and gets thousands of hits when he publishes them. All in a day's work.

Henry’s best friend, PezLikeTheSweets, lives in New Zealand. Pez has beta read every single one of Henry's fics for the past decade. They'd first connected back when Henry still wrote Wolfstar fics, except it wasn’t actually called Wolfstar back then, although the whole wizarding world has since lost its appeal to Henry either way. Fucking Joanne.

These days Henry writes about Simon and Baz, and those sweet Swedish teen gay royals, but his current main ship is definitely Gabriel and James. And he’s not alone in that. The scorchingly hot romance between a civil rights lawyer and a queer historian has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for months. There’s a movie in the works and a rumoured sequel, but in the meantime a lot of people are looking to get their Jabriel fix from fanfic. A lot of people. And Henry somehow managed to churn out his first few oneshots just in time to hit that elusive sweet spot in a fandom on the rise. Everyone read them. And now, whenever Henry posts a new story, everyone reads that too.

Read 'Hashtag Soulmates' on AO3!

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #first prince #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #fanfiction #spotlight saturday #evie writes #hashtag soulmates

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