#pretty big loredump but I like to think about this stuff

[bugcatcherwill]

You know there is something I been wondering: Sterre was stationed by Zayl’s swamp area of the wetlands, hence why it showed up when the calamity sensed Kobb there and sent it with some smaller monsters.

But how did it get to akkala after the blood moon where Kobb freed it fully from the malice?

Part of me though maybe hinoxes have great sense of smell and can smell a persons scent from miles away. Maybe the calamity sent Sterre into a ‘roam’ mode to find Kobb via its scent.

But under the malice hinox are always tied and luckily Kobb run into Sterre BEFORE it recharged and could have possibly got to the lab to get the traitors.

As to me it made no sense Sterre was confirmed to be brought back by the hopefully LAST blood moon meaning it should have been by the swamp where Kobb defeated it but it some how got to akkala

Well, Sterre wasn't stationed in the swamp per se.

It's not like directly implied, but I wanted to get the point across that The Calamity dispatched Sterre from somewhere else to the swamp because the monster defectors had to be eliminated at any cost.

Like how Rezek said something like "The Calamity must really want your friend dead if it's bringing in that"

Because timeline wise, Sterre was brought into the swamp in the early morning - when Kobb had escaped into the wetlands around when the sun was setting the previous day.

This gives us at least a good few hours for The Calamity to find a Hinox around (not as far as Akkala, but I like to imagine Hinoxes can move fast when they're forced to lol) and bring it there.

Like here works really well because you could imagine the monster encampment around there wrangling what would come to Sterre and try to fix that blinder on it so it'd just rampage and flatten the whole ground in the name of taking out Kobb.

The idea was that The Calamity had Hinoxes in that forced sleep all across the land so that a) they wouldn't rebel and/or band together, and b) any Hinox could be mobilized at a moment's notice

And in Sterre's case, because it failed it was basically "decommissioned" to the most fuck-off part of Hyrule (Akkala) where it wouldn't be needed for anything important.

[aromanticasterisms]

feel like i need a corkboard and red string to make sense of the narzissenkreuz stuff

[captainbobbin]

Hi, hello! 💜 📝🦐 please! 💜 Also: *boop!*

(in response to this ask meme)

awuaaaagh a boop! - prepare for one in return mwuaha - also I'm gonna do these two out of order because it will flow a little better haha, plus I'm rambling so its under a readmore -

🦐 - tell me about a character or story that is giving you shrimp emotions right now

spoilers for DQXI ahead!

I went back and replayed some more DQXI yet again yesterday (I play a good chunk of it every week on stream for my chat and I always loredump and theorise with them as we play haha) but I had missed a few weeks due to the recent funeral and other irl distractions. But going back to it was like coming home and. man. man. Hendrik. Hendrik my special boy who I love so dearly. I could talk about him for weeks, he has rewired my brain chemistry. I'm pretty sure you followed me for my KH stuff in general but DQXI is another square enix game and to me Hendrik has a nice overlap with the way I characterise my version of Isa. Hendrik is a big brooding dad type of guy who begins as an antagonist to the player due to being misled, lied to and betrayed; as the game goes on you realise that not only is he the most powerful thing in-game but that he is wracked with survivors guilt, catholic guilt, imposters guilt, every kind of guilt imaginable, he's a giant socially awkward unstoppable force teddy bear man who is the worlds most revered hero, destiny's chosen strongman, a horsegirl and a clown and I will never tire of talking about him he is just so so special to me. He's so pretty. I think I spend most of my time playing DQXI either deep-diving into lore/theories or just going 'god look how pretty Sylvando is. Look how pretty Hendrik is. I love them. I love them so much' lmaoooooo (a lot of people pair Hendrik and Jasper together and I totally get that but I love Sylv and Hendrik winding up together, they just work so well as a pair, they fit together so nicely auuugh)

One of the things we talked about in my last DQXI stream was that right at the start of act 2, when Hendrik is at your side but not a party member yet, (and hes only just getting over his projection of angst onto you and he's trying so hard to be better already and he dedicates himself to you there and then pretty much), in the throne room of Heliodor's ruined castle where Hendrik once served you fight the Spectral Sentinel Tyriant, and we discussed the possibility that Tyriant might just be the reanimated dead body of Arnout, the former king of Zwaardsrust (Hendrik's original home, which was razed to the earth when he was just a little boy.....). The size of the body, the way it fights, the fact that the orb it is designated is the purple orb, which was buried in the ruins of Zwaardsrust..... awauaugh I love this game so much and I am obsessed with digging up lore and playing with it, especially the stuff revolving around Sylv and Hendrik haha

I just. I love the guy. He has so much grief and inner turmoil and layers and the entirety of Act 2 is him learning to be a person again and trusting those around him, pushing through his internalised blame (with debatable results) and just trying to heal while out on the road. I'm just. obsessed with him. My big purple wife 💜

📝 - tell me about a project you're working on, or share something from a WIP -

here are some messy notes I did recently for the next instalment in my Open Wounds series, which is about Hendrik dealing with his emotions regarding Norberto (Sylvando) and their strange, budding relationship -

Thank you, my darling. It hung in his ears. Hendrik had followed Sylvando to the Stallion and back five times over, carrying whatever burden he was issued, internally leashed by those words of praise. In order to save the world, one needed provisions. The ship needed stocking. Hendrik was only doing his duty. It was merely a boon that he did so whilst looking at Sylvando's back, sauntering ahead of him, smile easy and reputation preceding him. The scarlet clouds ought to make the clown vanish into gloom, as it had yesterday, yet spirits seemed to have risen. Like Hendrik's own flesh, perhaps the world was healing, just a little. The clown's presence certainly gave the impression of that effect. The longer they were in Gondolia, the more people came out of hiding, the more townsfolk did business with them, the more smiles began to appear. Conversations were had with shopkeepers that Hendrik did not understand - don't you worry, honey, those Beastly Boys aren't so anymore! They've done me very proud since last I was here - and Sylvando glittered under Erdwin’s Lantern, a thought that was both horrid and harpsichordical; in times of strife and despite any grief, the strong flourish and bloom, and to observe a knight perform his duty and be one with the people, taking hands and offering encouraging words, offers of support, promises to repair, all while doom crept ready to be taken down, it offered Hendrik a cacophony of implacable feelings that he really could do nothing with. He just followed, experiencing it, fascinated by the way civilians recognised the two of them, recognised that the two of them were together, recognised that the two of them were different, and then recognised that the two of them were the same. 

Shamefully, Hendrik had almost forgotten to think of Jasper. Shamefully, he still rather had.

The only time Hendrik's mind had drifted to Jasper was when, as they gathered materials together, idly talking about nothing - and by the Gods it was nice to talk at all, to be able to talk at all with him - Sylvando regaled some airy tale of a time when he had discovered some squeaky little mousies had made snuck aboard his ship and tried to make a nest in a gap in the pantry floorboards. He talked of how he had kept an eye on them, left small amounts of food near the opening to save the mice from gnawing through sacks and taking more than their share. Sylvando had scooped them out the next time they moored and freed them, finding some snug shrub to set their fluffy little hiding place under and watching them scurry away. He had told the story, again, smiling, faint gestures with his hands, harmless, pressureless, filling the silence. It was rather admirable, and Hendrik could not help but think that it spoke of Sylvando's character, a character that had not changed despite everything else changing so much. Norberto had tried to bring home a wild sabrecub once - his father forbade it, for obvious reasons. But the boy - and now the jester - had always been able to see the good in all things, had always had a soft spot for creatures in need of aid. 

Hendrik's back tingled.

Sylvando had cared for rodents aboard his vessel, had refused to outright kill pests that, by all means, he could have and perhaps should have to ensure the ship was clean and safe and without burden. Instead he had left tissue nearby for them to nest with, crumbs and peeling nearby for them to eat, and had personally made sure that the mice had a real home as soon as he was physically able to, carrying them to where they ought to be with gentle hands and no doubt nurturing words.

Vermin, Jasper would have said. Disgusting, vile, loathsome little cockroach-beasts. He would have raised his boot over them and brought it down swiftly with a wrinkled nose and curled-back lip. 

If we pass where I left them, I'll show you, Sylvando had turned to him and said, smile light and charming. It's the finest little mouse-house around! I bet none of their other forest friends have purple crepe paper and ribbons adorning their humble abode, eh? Those little stowaways got only the best - I'd have nothing less on my ship, you know.

Hendrik peered out of the window, stood in the belly of The Stallion. 

[moorishflower]

You have a phenomenal amount of lore info in your chapter notes for If Not For Faith. Is your knowledge from the d&d books, video games, Google, some combination??

Ah hello Ryal hello! It's always a pleasure seeing your comments <3

It's a little bit of everything! I've played 5E pretty in-depth for about seven years, and I played some 3.5e before that. I've played through or run several of the WotC campaign modules (Storm King's Thunder, which is taking place at the beginning of the fic, was one of the first ones I played!). I read the Forgotten Realms novels extensively when I was younger, though I haven't kept up with all of them. I might start again, I do miss good old-fashioned sword and sorcery books. Drizzt Do'Urden/Artemis Entreri was uh one of my first enemies to lovers ships lol. I've also played Neverwinter Nights and Neverwinter Nights II.

A big part of the nitty gritty details, though, is the Forgotten Realms wiki. It's fantastically maintained, and so when I'm writing and I have an idea that pings some vague memory from when I was 13, I can usually google to confirm if I'm remembering correctly or not. I'm not the greatest with recalling dates, so any time you see a specific date mentioned, that's the FR wiki. Most stuff about d&d mechanics I don't have to google unless I'm looking for specific like..."does this spell use verbal components or verbal AND somatic?" Same for creatures. I'm generally very good about remembering creature lore (the peryton loredump was written entirely from memory and then confirmed afterwards with the wiki, same for copper dragons).

Anything regarding the Honor Among Thieves tie-in novel or graphic novel has been googled, because I haven't them yet.

But yeah a whole lot of it is me writing a bit, going "wasn't there a part in the Crystal Shard arc where...?" and then googling it to see if I'm right, and then spinning off from there. The entire last bit of If not by faith was written the way it was because I made an off-hand reference in a single line to a character from The Thousand Orcs, which made me remember a series of events from those books, which made me think "Oh, I could tie this in to stuff I wrote earlier!!!" 100% vibes.

[galaxyseclipse]

it is once again splatoon oc loredump time

Ika’s the only one left for now, let’s go!

-around 15 years old as of splat3. they don’t know exactly how old they are, they just go off of what others around their age say

-if they spoke English they’d have an American southern accent

-are trilingual; they can speak Salmontongue, Octarian, and Inklish; learned in that order

-will eat just about anything you put in front of them, and a lot of it

-have eaten sand on more than one occasion. and power eggs

-they were never given a proper(non Salmonid) name, they just started calling themself Ika because the guys who taught them Octarian did(it's literally just the Octarian word for squid though, they know this but don't care)

-parents? what are those?

-they were essentially raised by a tribe of Salmonid that lived in/frequented the area of the desert they lived in

-their design is based off of the whip-lash squid, so they're tall and lanky. when they're an adult they are the second tallest official member of the NSS, coming in at about 5'8"(172 cm)

-they've got a lot of scars from various things

-main stringers, specifically the Tri-stringer. they had a Hero Stringer(design pending) made for them after defeating Mr. Grizz. they aren't terrible at other weapon types, but they are the most comfortable with the stringer

-like to keep their distance during fights. very agile despite their weapon of choice

-tend to be distrustful/borderline rude to new people, especially when they're on their turf(the only reason they got roped into the zapfish fiasco was because they were telling Cuttlefish to get out of their zone and he misunderstood their intentions)

-get along pretty well with Four. both are pretty chaotic and build off of each other's shenanigans. they also have quite a bit of respect for them, not just because they're older Four is definitely a bit of a bad influence tho

-they have a lot of respect for Tsunami. mostly because she's the captain/former agent 3. she also helped them get better with their own abilities, so she's been a pretty big mentor to them as well

-doesn't interact with Ivory all that much she said they were adorable the first time they met and they didn't like that, they're respectful when they do though, even if slightly out of fear

-tries to be all emotionless and mysterious and confident, but inside they're pretty lonely and are grateful to have had a bunch of potential friends thrown into their lap

-pretty good at video games, almost all free time not spent doing inksports or sleeping is spent playing

-they have a little shack out in the desert where they lived until they moved in with Four. after that they just used it as a place to be alone and/or cool off a little bit

-their Salmonid friend/little buddy is named Chip(I don't talk about him much at all lol). they have a more friend-like relationship as opposed to him being their pet

-they still work as a scrapper("why would I stop? ain't harming anything")

-they actually had a couple run-ins with Deep Cut before RotM(they stole stuff from their base and sold it themself). when they were fighting in Alterna, all three said something along the lines of "hey wait a second you're the little shit who keeps stealing from us!"

-never actually received a formal education. they have basic reading and writing skills, and that's about it. Four is working on this with them, but they don't like it

geez I started writing this one thinking it'd be the shortest, guess there's more than I thought lmao

[girlvinland]

i just wanted to say i am completely unnormal about your pardoner oc Samson

stares at please please please please loredump please 🙏!! i love ds so eheh

Hi! I didn't forget about this ask, I've just been super busy and now I finally have a moment to answer it! Thank you so much for asking, I'll put my thoughts under a readmore bc it got long bc I kind of derailed talking about Carim in general LOL.

Since Samson is a bit of a new character, I'm still going to be working on developing him for a while, but I can tell what I do know!

I have a very big penchant for all things Carim- the land and people really fascinate me, and I like thinking about how it changed over the course of the series. I tend to believe that by DS3, the kind of pardoners we knew before aren't very common anymore (although Idk if they'd be completely gone either - we know that worship of Velka kind of seems to have fallen by the wayside, but I think there would still be people out there devoted to her, maybe some of them still even having ties to the church).

My HC is that the Church of Morne eventually became the major religious and political player in Carim once Thorolund kind of got absorbed by Carim (obv more my personal HC than canon but I think it's not so unpopular an idea), and worship of Caitha (who we know is likely to be Velka) is prominent. I think whether or not the people who worship Caitha know or believe in the Velka thing is up for debate and maybe even depends on proximity to the church or personal belief systems.

That being said, my pardoner is definitely doing his thing during the time DS3 would have been going on, because he's in a hidden relationship with another OC I have who is a Morne knight. I imagine they met during (the knight) Percival's training period, and that Morne knights overall are very much expected to keep their lives wrapped up with the Church (since you have to have a certain dedication to the faith to even become a Morne knight at all). I also HC that Carim has pretty traditional societal standards, judging from their views on knight- and maidenhood and chivalry. I don't think they'd be too fond of anything that goes outside of their brand of conservative thinking, so I doubt any sort of homosexual relationship would really fly, especially for people who's lives revolve around the Church. Hence Samson and Perci keeping their relationship secret.

I HC Samson to be really interested in and fascinated by Velka, I haven't quite considered all of what his beliefs about her being Caitha are but that's something I very much want to uncover and work on bc it's something I like to explore with all my Carim OCs (I have a problem). Outside of all that, he's a pretty private, quiet, reflective person. He would rather listen than talk, which makes him very suited to listen to confessions and help absolve people of their sins. I could go into his ideas on sin and his more personal "relationship" with Velka but maybe another time lol. Unfortunately, his story is kind of fucked up and sad, bc Idk, that's just how I like it.

During the time that he and Perci have grown close, Samson has suffered an illness that would eventually be fatal, though he's held it off through the use of healing miracles only for it to come back with a vengeance each time. In the end, before Perci is set to leave Carim with his maiden, Samson confesses this to him because he's been keeping it a secret in order to not worry Perci. He eventually decides he'd rather simply die than have to live that way and especially without Perci, so he does pass away before Perci heads out. Perci is already a sort of cynical person, but this really shatters his spirit. I won't get too much into Perci's own thing, but he and his maiden have a pretty shitty relationship initially and she's quite cruel to him even though they reconcile and part later.

I'm sorry for rambling a lot :x but I really appreciate this ask and getting to talk a bit about some of this stuff! Thank you again!!

[specialability]

Golden Stage

Golden Stage / Huang jin tai by Cang Wu Bin Bai

Just finished this one, really enjoyed it. Another shortish well-translated complete work. Big appeal factors: adult power couple, genuinely explicitly like each other as friends from the beginning, super domestic, angst is due to external factors and not them being oblivious, not raised together from childhood. The first few chapters are heavy on the historical loredump, but things get easier to follow once the context is established.

One of the characters is a stern sarcastic border-guarding general whose legs have been disabled after an assassination attempt but he's playing up the injury for political reasons. The other is head of the imperial guard / black ops unit for the emperor who is considered a vicious scheming lackey, but is secretly super soft for the general. In order to nerf the general the emperor "grants" him a marriage to the imperial guard which they both protest because they're pretending to hate each other, but ultimately go along with it. So we get all this serious political intrigue paired with these two walking disasters being all domestic and flirty behind closed doors / in front of their coworkers, who think they must be brainwashed or something. It's not dissimilar to Can Ci Pin's Lin-Lu pair in the latter half of the story once Lu becomes prime minister.

Some of the usual tropes – arranged gay marriage, enemies to friends to frienemies to lovers, getting injured protecting each other and hiding in a cave, erotic use of the term 'gege', slightly out of left field sex pollen (but leading to explicitly consensual sex), hurt/comfort in both directions. They start developing an ahem more intimate relationship pretty early on but the sex is mostly vague. They have different philosophical ideas about governance and morality which creates most of their interpersonal conflict but ultimately they work together behind the scenes on plot stuff. And, most importantly, TALK THROUGH THEIR ISSUES. Amazing, right. I mean they both def need therapy but it's nice that they both have problems but are committed to dealing with them for a better marriage.

[snowtimeisbesttime]

Thoughts and questions on Hiveswap Act 2– Part 1.

**DISCLAIMER** I haven't played through the entire game yet! I got to the intermission in the whole trial thingy, and will continue tomorrow! Therefore, I Am Not Looking at anything yet, only posting. I'll probably come back and edit this once I've actually finished the game.

-Did the default names for Xefros & Dammek's lusii change?? I loaded my Act 1 save, and I'm sure they had their default names (Zoosmell and Cornibuster) there, though I'm also pretty sure i accidentally unlocked the “name the lusii” achievement on that save by clicking on the text windows without actually changing their names so... Dammek's lusus is called Toothy now i guess?

-On that note, if Xefros' lusus died I'm going to fucking scream. Even though I'm pretty sure we've barely seen him on screen since like the end of Act 1 but Regardless.

-We see Charun's cave, and it turns out they were neighbours with Zebede all this time, but they're nowhere to be seen at the train?? unless they grabbed an earlier one... Charun did get a death flag the size of the pacific ocean, when interacting with their weird sculpture with a lot of legs and arms surrounding a mouth, but Zebede's just gone without a trace? The bees are gone and there's a hole in the side of his hive, but his lusus doesn't seem to be particularly upset? And neither is Charun's, assuming that huge bug near the cave is their lusus. (Idarat the canon fantroll #3 doesn't appear at the train either, but that's probably for the same reason there aren't any jade or teal background characters: to keep the court scene neat)

-The drones are supposed to be en route to the station, supposedly to fix the ticket machines but probably to cull whoever tripped the alarm on them... i sure hope they don't follow the train or anything orz

-Mostly everyone seems to resemble their respective Friendsims, more or less:

Fozzer appears to be scratched still, yet more philosophical. Also he's not in the train either.

Folykl seems just a touch friendlier than in her friendsim (and Kuprum's still just as hyped about becoming a helmsman as before, even if he seems to know more details about it now).

Chixie's more anxious, probably because it seems she's been doing stuff as The Mask for a while now, and she's going to fuck shit up at Jeevik Week. She says she's not alone in that, and considering it's apparently confirmed that the random troll from her good end Was Dammek all this time... is she also actively in the rebellion? Also is it just me or does her sprite look somewhat scribblier than everyone else's? Even the background characters??

Elwurd's pretty much the same, and it does seem her flirting with Joey was mostly to try and get her to buy something. Also... if her fake tickets were so good, why didn't she just use them, instead of giving them to Joey and Xefros? Like, I get Marvus and Boldir Knowing Stuff, but her?

Zebruh's paying attention to Marvus instead of Chixie, which. Small mercies. He's still a dick, and we're still doing the whole “clowns are peak oppressed” thing.

Marvus seems to still be perfectly nice to the main characters, and perfectly willing to let other people die in order to help them advance (getting Zebruh to sign up for Slam or Get Culled, Daraya if you fuck up in the trial thing, Hopefully Not Any More Cases...) He is helping Tyzias out with her defensive legislaceration experiments, though, and basically everyone who isn't Joey seems to think he might flip his shit and murder someone, as clowns do. At least people don’t seem to lose their minds around him anymore.

Vikare's basically the same, but Joey immediately picks up on his Jake Vibes and instinctively dislikes him.

Diemen eats people???????? as in, actively????????? wtf?????????

Skylla seems to be pretty much the same, but she's obviously worried because Ladyy's sick!! God I fucking hope we do get to help her out before the end of the game.

Marsti's also friendlier than she was in her volume, though I remember MSPAR was particularly prone to sticking their foot in their mouth in that one.

Cirava's surprisingly more trusting than they were in their volume (and also, their eye's light green and not teal). Also, apparently they gouged their other eye out on stream?????? as in live???? besides that, good to see not All of the powerful psionics get succesfully indoctrinated.

Polypa's also rather willing to help out, though we still don't know what the heck happened to her.

Boldir's suitably mysterious, and probably also involved with the rebellion... she does call Xefros “burgundy figurehead”.

Konyyl and Azdaja are still having relationship stuffs, but in the end they clearly care the most about each other. (he still doesn't seem to give a fuck about helm stuffs so far?) The question is, who exactly were they hunting down??

The jades and the teals are basically the same as their Friendsim incarnations, as far as I've seen. The one major change to the jades (besides jade lore which i'll discuss further down) seems to be that hatched2dance is now one of the biggest reasons for their fights, and Bronya does get a crunchy bit of Backstory (the jade from her past that got culled because of the Rainbow Hemotions saga, which is also the reason she's so hard on Daraya now)

On the teals, Stelsa and Tyzias seem to have a teensy bit of quadrant vacillation going on?? Tirona seems to be more focused on becoming a history revisionist than a memeagandist now, and it would also seem that Tegiri's the one into vampires now (or at least, Tagora's better at hiding it And a lot better at not getting involved with the whole mess that is whatever the heck the jades are doing)

-Psionics can have single-colored eyes!! tbh we'd already seen this back in Tegiri's route in Friendsim but it's good to Actually See it visually.

-Also, nice to see that Xefros *can* go toe to toe with the strongest psionic we know in all of Hiveswap! (95% sure that I've seen someone theorize something like this might happen?? I personally wasn't expecting it here but anyways Xefros you're doing amazing sweetie) What's not so nice is that he's only shown this strength when Azdaja hurt Joey (as far as i've played of course)... so unless he like unlocks his potential or something so he can do Big Psychics without seeing his friends get hurt beforehand we're in for some Angst.

-Also if Marvus got his ticket from Cridea (and Chixie won hers in like a raffle or something) then why couldn't she have given Xefros and Dammek some?? like, Dammek's been to one Jeevik Week already. Fiamet also told her about Joey, but by then they were already in the train.

-Me: Xefros' microphone's going to be important in act 2! Also me: *has to give it to fucking Zebruh to get his ticket*. Oh well, that's one thing for the Second Playthrough of Achievement Getting (plus: wearing the cone horns, having Joey introduce herself to Boldir, getting through the whole ace attorney segment without game overs...)

-We get the Quadrant Explanation #1000, sans auspisticism.

-It's vaguely implied that Dammek has also read some Soldier Purrbeasts books?? He's told Xefros the whole “death creates a bond deeper than matespritship or kismessisitude” thing, apparently! So if he's not secretly into troll warrior cats then. That sentence's more than mildly worrying??

-JADEBLOOD LOREDUMP PART THE NTEENTH: Okay first of all it's implied that More cloisters exist? Which in retrospect is pretty much obvious because you can't expect only six trolls to take care of All the troll grubs in existence. Also, the reason jades can't sneak out of the caverns anymore is “because they get Drone'd”, and it seems to be implied that they Can't go out At All*, which kinda contrasts with Friendsim (where literally all the jades snuck out of the caverns at least once: Lanque, Daraya and Wanshi in their own routes, Lynera in Vol 18, and Bronya in Vols 6 & 18). One of their tasks seems to be guarding Forbidden Literature, and Xefros states that they either cull or indoctrinate the most powerful psychic grubs.

-It's also stated that all of our jades were chosen for the cloister when they were basically wrigglers, while Lynera states in Friendsim that she's only been 2,43 sweeps in the caverns. (Considering Bronya's new backstory, it seems that capability to become a rainbow drinker ISN'T the qualifying factor for getting cloistered– depending on how exactly that jade died). It comes to mind that regular, non-cloistered jades might not really know about all these logistics, as it seems that at least Bronya wants to keep them secret– and therefore I don't have to go back and re-rewrite yet another chunk of Mirrorbent orz.

-Lastly, Xefros says they will all become nuns (btw, space church was mentioned in Lanque's route!) when they reach their Ordeals, and we already knew they'd be forced to live in isolation from Friendsim, but during the ace attorney thingy Lynera says she's NOT going to leave the planet because she'll become a midwife and tend to the Mother Grub (basically what we all thought jadebloods did back when we only had the ancestor stuff on Homestuck)... but either Daraya or Lanque told her that they weren't real? So either there's more jade propaganda that we didn't know about, or...

-*The one exception to this is, coincidentally, Jeevik Week, and it's apparently because Trizza herself made it so jades could go too, 3 or 4 sweeps before Hiveswap... why's that? What's so important about Jeevik Week that Trizza would do this? Iirc Cridea and Trizza were sort of set up as opposing forces (?? words), all the way back from the first bunch of concept arts we saw of them? The first thing we learnt from Trizza was that she was the “second best at memes”, and on Cridea's first appearance, when troll twitter was still Prongle, she said that some chick was stealing her memes... and now, Cridea has exactly one follower less than Trizza, who everyone in Alternia's forced to follow... would that person be the heiress herself?

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”