#pretend this icon has gold eyes

[sylviareviar]

"You're...not what I expected..." [ :3c ]

"Welcome to the Church of Despair."

Standing before the woman in the black mask was an angelic figure, draped in tattered black robes and covered head to toe in grime and filth. Beneath the robes were a mess of bandages, stained red with her blood, aglow in the light cast by the stained glass windows on all sides of the chapel. Her wings and hair were easily the most radiant and visible parts of her, as they were the most beautiful and valuable things she had to offer. The angel stood barefoot on broken glass shards and colorful pebbles littering the ground, her blood soaking the carpet.

Her face was not unmarred, either. Where one would normally see sweet, soft freckles, instead were small, thin scars peeking out from underneath a massive bandage covering one of her eyes. The other, a signature gold like all other Shadows possessed, stared blankly at her guest, unblinking and eerie, almost ghost-like.

The angel bowed, spreading her wings to show them off, but as the feathers moved, a hint of blood seeped out from somewhere within. Yet the pink-haired Shadow didn't seem to notice, and merely stood straight once more.

"Were... you not expecting me? Why else would you have come to this church if not to find me?"

[dollishbabess]

Do you do batfamily? I literally love your profile aesthetic and I think it would be really cool something like girly reader who is the youngest in the batfamily, I think it would be funny the boys dealing with her and everything. ily🤍

“I PRESSED HIDE ICONS BUT I CAN STILL SEE ME” ── .✦ DOLLISH ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

A/n: this literally made me laugh but tysm ily too, but literally i tried to balance this with sass + a girl who likes pink and other colors instead of stereotypical pink girly girl and etc but if this is not correct then sorry because i only have one sister and a brother and i’m oldest out of all of them.

tags: batfamily x girly!batsis

⋆. 𐙚 ˚

The manor is, of course, dark and filled with heavy, old-fashioned furniture. Meanwhile, you’re room is beautiful with subtle hints of pink decor and white, and a beautiful walk in closet, and your room is the only spot with cozy, neutral decor and soft pinks, which you somehow convinced Alfred was “tasteful and happy”

Bruce pretends he doesn’t notice the little decorative changes you make around the house, like the rose-gold lamp in the hallway or the fresh flowers on the dining table. Alfred, though, secretly loves it because it makes the place feel a little less like a ‘depressive episode’ (I’m convinced if someone suicidal went in that manor they would likely fucking commit at this rate).

“CINDERELLA ARE YOU FUCKING READY?!” ── .✦

When you go to family dinners or galas, the boys have come to expect that you’ll need at least an hour to get ready. They used to complain, but now they’ve just accepted it (even if it means sleeping while standing up waiting) And you’re always perfectly dressed, from your hair to your jewelry.

Tim once asked why you had to wear rings on your ring finger without being married, and without missing a beat, you responded, “Because I need to let people know I have style standards, maybe you can learn a or two about fashion, your dressed like a fucking caveman.”

“ITS EXPLAINABLE” ── .✦

Alfred has somehow become your unofficial shopping partner, knowing all your preferred stores and patiently sitting outside the fitting rooms. He’s the only one who will willingly go with you without complaint, and he even knows which colors you like best

Once, Bruce was caught off guard by a credit card alert because it was awhile someone spent THAT much money and asked Alfred about it. Alfred just responded calmly, “It was for necessary purchases, Master Wayne,” even though the “necessary purchases” included a ton of “designer” things.

── .✦

Damian once challenged you to a chess match, thinking he could beat you easily. Halfway through, you made a risky move, looked him dead in the eye, and said, “You’re about to see a queen move.” Damian lost, and he’s still confused about how it happened.

One morning, Dick said, “Isn’t it a little early for all the glam and glitter?” You just gave him a look and said, “Isn’t it a little late for you to be alive, your social security number is probably one.

YOUR BEAUTY PRODUCTS BECOMING A ATTEMPT ON PEOPLES LIVES ── .✦

Bruce has almost tripped on your eyelash curler twice. The family has also officially banned you from putting skincare masks in the fridge after Jason mistook your green tea gel eye masks for some kind of salad topping (the worse part is… he ate the whole thing and didn’t realize until he went shopping trying to find the exact one until he found it in the skincare aisle instead of the salad dressing aisle…)

Tim opened the wrong drawer in your room once, and it looked like a makeup frenzy had exploded. Lip glosses, nail polishes, tiny skincare samples, and sheet masks cascaded out, and he just stood there, baffled by how much one person could need, (he thought you ran a business for a few days after.)

── .✦

You also gave Bruce a mini heart attack when you told him you wanted a different laptop because “this one’s too boring.” The Batcomputer tech isn’t boring, but you wanted a rose-gold case and “a vibe,” so Bruce ended up ordering one in the exact shade you wanted.

The family group chat is complete chaos. You regularly send pictures of quotes from romance novels, and the occasional inspirational meme with sparkles. Once, you sent a photo of the living room and asked, “Could we get some lighter curtains in here? For my aesthetic and mental well being?”

Whenever someone’s late, you flood the chat with passive-aggressive texts like, “Jason, do you know what ‘be here at 6 PM’ means?” or “Dick, if you’re any later, I’ll be old enough to vote for Kamala at this rate.”

MOVIE NIGHTS ── .✦

You insist on watching rom-coms and dramas instead of the usual action movies. Even though the boys groan, you’ve noticed they secretly enjoy the movies by the end. Tim tried to deny it, but he was caught laughing at a scene in white chicks and you swore to never let him forget it.

Once, you convinced them to watch a “fall aesthetic” movie marathon, complete with hot chocolate and fuzzy blankets. Even Jason joined in, and you teased him the whole night, whispering, “Don’t pretend you don’t love a good blanket.

THE OFFICAL FASHION GURU FINALBOSS 💜 ── .✦

You’ve taken it upon yourself to occasionally “advise” the boys on their fashion. If Tim wears a hoodie that’s “two shades too close to ‘depression’ ” you’ll be the first to tell him. You even convinced Damian to try a collared shirt once, though he looked horrified.

Dick gets roasted the most. He walked out wearing cargo shorts once, and you deadpan, “Going for the ‘i’m so old i saw humans evolve’ look i see.” He didn’t change, but he was clearly a little self-conscious the whole day (he never wore cargo shorts ever again…)

SKINCARE TIPS ── .✦

You’ve taught the boys some random facts they never knew, like the importance of hyaluronic acid for skincare and the difference between ballet flats and loafers. They pretend to brush it off, but you’ve overheard Jason giving roy skincare advice using the tips you shared.

When Bruce had a minor scratch on his face from patrol, you casually handed him concealer. “Just dab, blend, and don’t tell anyone,” you said. He followed the instructions without a word (he used to do that before, just impressed you also knew)

THE BABY OF THE FAMILY ── .✦

As the youngest, you know how to work the “baby sister” angle like a pro. The boys are fiercely protective, and any time you need a ride, money for something “totally essential,” or help with homework, you can count on one of them stepping up.

Once, you asked Damian to grab something from a high shelf for you, and when he hesitated, you hit him with, “Guess i really am alone without a good brother..” He ended up grabbing it for you with a grumble, but you swear you saw him smirk.

@dollishbabess made by me, do not translate, or repost or copy.

Second divider: @cafekitsune, other dividers not sure I kinda forgot sorry

[chimielie]

i swear that i will hate you 'till forever

summary: Yaku x F!Reader. sometimes divorce is what you really need to strengthen a marriage

word count: 1.2k

cw: angst, alcohol, pr marriage gone extremely wrong, yaku is older by six years, reader is a socialite with no life skills or healthy coping mechanisms, yaku also has no healthy coping mechanisms, no one in this story is doing well, The Judgment of God Himself, also blasphemy

a/n: heeey long time no see. i actually genuinely don't know when i wrote this, i'm just emptying my drafts of all the half-written fics i have locked in jail. i do still like this concept a lot so shoot me an ask if you want to know more about what i had planned for the full thing :)

Morisuke hates weddings.

He stares up at God, who is trapped in a little circle in a bigger circle, surrounded by gorgeous, centuries-old paintings of angels and saints and little red devils. Everything is gold, the flickering light of hanging chandeliers shining down to gild a rapt audience, even as the real people seem to pale in comparison to their artistically rendered counterparts. Standing here, surrounded by ornate displays of divinity, Morisuke has never felt so wealthy in spirit and physicality. He wasn’t raised in this religion, nor was he ever baptized into it as an adult, but he doesn’t find a seed of objection in himself he’d though he would. The icon he thinks is God looks both mournful and benevolent. All the shining things make Morisuke feel as though he’s looking into a mirror.

The people rustle, whispering among themselves. A stray string instrument sounds, alone and twanging into a silence far greater than itself, and Morisuke almost misses it when the orchestra starts up moments later. He has a headache, the kind that gets worse because he’s so irritated that he has one at all.

He looks down and away from God, straight into the blinding flash of a camera. His only reaction is a slight narrowing of the eyes, the closest he’s come to flinching in years. When the spots clear from his vision, you’re there, an angel from the fresco come to life, a goddess in the church.

Morisuke folds his hands. It feels only right to pray, the way he’s seen it on television, the way some of his teammates do before matches. You stare at him as you walk down the aisle, light playing over your dress in shining bursts that make his head throb harder. He can’t find any bridal tears in your eyes.

He shifts in his dress shoes, fights not to run his hands through his carefully-styled hair. The air-conditioning is too strong, meant to keep a thousand pressed-together people from overheating, or perhaps it’s the winter air leaking in through the great doors. You reach the stairs to the altar, wobbling a little on your first step up, though the movement is so minuscule anyone but him wouldn’t have noticed. Without thinking, Morisuke reaches a hand out to steady you. Your fingers press hard into the flesh of his palm, gripping him bruisingly tight. He can barely pull his hand away fast enough. The music stops, and Morisuke takes in a deep breath, while your chest doesn’t move to inhale or exhale. This is the last moment before you are knotted together irrevocably for life. A groom who hates weddings for a bride who doesn’t cry.

one year, eight months later

If you tilt your head up and almost close your eyes so that you’re looking through your lashes, you can pretend that you’re floating among the stars. You do so, walking backwards, tipping champagne down your throat as you go, trying to envision yourself as a constellation. You’re pretty sure you are one—Morisuke’s gift to you on your birthday, the first one after you’d married. The tabloids had eaten it up. You, watching him board a plane through the social media stories of your so-called friends, hadn’t felt quite as romanced as your picture in the news claimed.

You had forgotten about the constellation. Perhaps it had stuck in your subconscious, though; it was awfully romantic. Perhaps that’s why you had chosen the planetarium as a venue for tonight, though in the light of day it had been the midnight blue velvet and shadowy, domed ceilings that had cinched it for you. But you throw a lot of parties, and you don’t need any more sentiment in your life than what you’re currently suffocating under. You’ll come back on your own, you decide, finishing off your glass and plucking another from the nearest hand to you. You like being lost amongst your guests, freewheeling in space even without oxygen to breathe.

You stumble as you continue your backwards, meandering path through the party. You kick off your shoes, lab-grown crystals chipping off as they bounce. You don’t notice. You’ll buy more. You could buy the whole stupid world, with your husband’s money that he throws at you so he doesn’t have to come home and face you. Your husband who leaves you alone to do whatever you please. Alone, dancing among the stars.

Morisuke was twenty-eight when he proposed to you; you had just turned twenty-two when you said yes. You had been officially seeing each other for three months and acquaintances for nearly a year prior.

The story of your first meeting the interviewers knew was one you and your husband had told many times. A mutual friend had introduced you at a high-profile event and said, blatantly, that the two of you should “make babies.” Morisuke was smooth; you were flirtatious. The story played out like a romantic comedy, ending in a fairytale wedding.

You and he had kept the real story for yourselves, to take out and admire in times of trouble, to tuck away in your pocket like a note between secret lovers.

You were running through a rose-garden maze, eyes over your shoulder, hands fisted in your skirts. He had been walking a perpendicular path to yours (looking for someone else, another lover, you’d later learn) when you had tripped right over him, tumbling head over heels through the flora and into a new sector. Your breath knocked out of you, it was all you could do to stare up at the sky and try to laugh.

“Miss?” He’d called, ducking through the opening, pushing stray rose canes away. “Miss! Are you alright?”

He sounded so formal. You accepted his hand up, but only pulled yourself into a sitting position, trying desperately to catch your breath. He was so handsome, it was making things much harder. Inconsiderate of him, you thought

“I’m fine,” you managed, eventually. “Are you?”

“No more bruised than usual,” he’d returned, teasing. You cocked a brow. “I’m an athlete. I dive face-first onto hardwood floors all day."

For reasons you couldn’t recognize, you’d taken his hand, pushing up the sleeve of his shirt. His forearm toward the elbow had a nasty bruise, as he had said. You ran a careful finger over the discoloration, and he hissed.

“How was my form?”

“Awful,” he said frankly. “But—“ He’d seemed to get lost there, watching the way the sunlight filtered through the clouds and played across your features. With all the raw honesty of someone saying something they hadn’t even known they were thinking, he opened his mouth and said: “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

On a slight breeze, the petals you’d knocked off drifted around the two of you, catching on his shirt, in your hair. They pooled between you, and when you ducked your head down they were all you could see.

You fell in love during that first meeting.

He never fell in love with you at all.

[bleue-flora]

Was gonna do everyone, but I'm feeling lazy so here's what I got so far for the playdate au character details:

Name - Make Believe Name(s) - Age - Favorite Color - Physical Appearance - Other

Phil - Philza, Dadza - 16 - dark green - greenish blue eyes, gingerish blond hair - when he decides to go outside and play with the kids he tends to wear a silly looking striped hat (mostly though he tends to stay inside and text his girlfriend, Kristen)

Wilbur - WilburSoot (or also Ghostbur, Revivebur) - 13 - Blue - pretty fit and tan (because he’s on the school’s swim team), tall and lanky, brown hair and eyes - almost always wears his colonial style hat and when it’s cold enough his favorite yellow sweater

Sam - Awesamdude, Sam, Sam-nook, The Warden - 12 - green - naturally light brown hair he dyed green, brown eyes - has glasses, wears yellow tee-shirt and green cargo pants that he fills the pockets of with all kinds of handy tools and things, including rocks that he loves to collect, has a fake ruby necklace he loves to wear as well as his crown

Clay - Dream - 11 - lime green - green eyes, dirty blond hair - as he’s autistic he wears comfy clothes only like gym shorts and soft tee-shirts for example and hoodies when it’s cold enough (he will not be caught dead in jeans), used a paper plate with a smile on it to jump scare Tommy once and now it’s his Dream aesthetic

Luke - Punz - 11 - blue - bright blond hair and blue eyes - has a gold necklace he never takes off, his ears are pierced with some gold studs,, his favorite outfit is his ripped black jean shorts and white tee-shirt

Alex - Quackity - 10 - Red - dark brown eyes and black hair, kinda more short stubby - him and his family are mexican, tends to wear classic dark blue and black and doesn’t mind getting dressed up for the occasion, always wears a beanie though, carries a pack of candy cigarettes he pretends to light with a lighter he found, tends to carry a deck of cards and his dad’s old pocket knife, knows a little more than a kid should, has a little scar over his lip from falling face first that Techno turned into a whole lore point

Alexander - Technoblade - 9 - red - blue eyes and dirty blond hair though he tried to dye it an edge red to be cool and it turned out pink instead - he loves to wear his red cape and crown all the time, someone once called him a pig because of his pink hair and after that he added pig ears and nose to his Technoblade look, he also often is seen riding his stick horse steed named Carl, he has glasses that George often steals

Mark - Ranboo - 8 - purple - brown hair, green eyes and super tall and lanky - entire wardrobe is black with lots or variations of black and white, often see with sunglasses and face mask on to be mysterious and of course his crown

Nick - Sapnap - 7 - Orange - brown eyes and unkempt hair that’s just long enough to be annoying that he keeps out of his eyes with his white ninja headband - favorite outfit is black athletic shorts or pants with a flame themed shirt, when it’s cold he’ll wear the same shirts just with a long sleeve black shirt underneath, often carriers around a katana and pretends to be a stealthy ninja

Karl - Karl Jacobs - 7 - purple - light brown hair and blue eyes - when it’s cold he loves to wear his iconic hoodie, he wears lots of fun colors and patterns like the stereotypical stylish gay guy, he has a old stopwatch he likes to carry around

Thomas - Tommy, Tommyinnit - 6 - red - blond hair, blue eyes, tall (for his age) and lanky - likes to wear khaki and that two toned classic tee-shirt, often see with red bandana around his next like some western outlaw and appropriate red devil horns

Toby - Tubbo - 6 - green - bright blond hair and blue eyes - Niki gave him bumble bee barrettes he wears to keep his bangs out of his eyes, he’s very attached to his stuffed pig, can be found wearing cuffed jean shorts or sometimes overalls

George - Gogi - 5 - light blue -  brown eyes and messy hair - always carries around his mushroom patterned blanky, likes wearing his favorite iconic blue shirt and jeans

Current families developed in age order:

Dream, Techno, Sapnap, George

Phil, Wilbur (and surely Fundy needs to be the youngest)

Purpled, Quackity, Slimecicle

Punz, Vikk and Lazar (4 year old twins)

(Ya know based off appearances alone maybe Tubbo and Tommy should be twins?…)

 Others TBD...

[s-b-party]

Ena, HooH, and Xipe: Overseers of Balance

****Honkai star rail/Penacony including 2.1 spoilers ahead****

With 2.2 livestream today [I didn’t watch the livestream on the day it came out so this was written without knowing what was coming out soon but also….THE NEW BOSS????], I wanted to take a closer look at 3 Aeons in particular for this thread bc of the similarities between their concepts & also to look at possible roles/connections in the story of Penacony in particular

Since I normally analyze pairs of Aeons & this time we have 3, I’ll briefly introduce the 3 then I’ll talk about them in detail while trying to connect them to each other & the story

First is Ena, the Aeon of Order; they were absorbed by Xipe during the Swarm Disaster; they had a faction that followed them called the Beyond the Sky Choir which eventually stopped when they were absorbed

The second is HooH, the Aeon of Equilibrium; currently they are alive, their faction is the Arbitrators

The third is Xipe, the Aeon of Harmony; they are currently alive & their faction is the Family in Penacony

From Ena’s entry, we see they have a human-looking face or mask with an inner body that seems to encompass space & stars, giving off mostly blue & purple colors while their face, limbs, accessories, and veil have a white & gold palette; their arms have strings coming out from them which presents them like a puppet; another feature to note is the eye that appears besides them which has a gold outline and a blue and purple iris

Their symbol is represented by the icon of an eye, referring to the open eye that is present behind them in their art, with abstract shapes behind it; at first glance the symbol might not mean much when we look at it & it might look simple bc it’s just an eye but I feel that there may be more to it

The 3 circles & 3 sharp points are arranged in a way that doesn’t look randomized where if we were to divide it in half vertically, it would be balanced

Why does this matter? Mainly bc Ena is the Aeon of Order but what exactly does that concept mean? Order can be defined in a few different ways depending on context but in this case, Ena’s concept is related to the idea that things are arranged or done in a particular way, method, sequence, etc. of which we see an example in the dev log as explained by Herta

She states that she doesn’t like Ena’s personality as a “control freak” but rather their concept or at least how the universe followed the Order

In the case of planets & civilizations, under the Order they would first prosper for a time before coming to an end; this would be the cycle that was followed consistently as it is natural for civilizations to rise and fall

Going back to the abstract shapes, I want to bring up the Rule of Three, which applies to many situations but the general rule involves three things that make something effective, satisfying, ideal, etc. As we saw, the icon had three circles & three pointed ends but they were arranged specifically to make the whole symbol not very chaotic, thus it can be satisfying to look at

Interestingly we see 3 being involved in their faction, the Beyond the Sky Choir: the dev log which mentioned a “three-dimensional framework” & the curio called the Triangular Drum-roll Device

HooH the Equilibrium has a face w/ a body consisting mostly of geometric shapes, giving them a sort of blocky appearance; their body swirls & twists in a round circle which converges towards the center where we see two orbs(?) that are blue & orange while their two hands are clasped together in the center

When we look at their overall design, we can tell that they exhibit some form of balance; their name is exactly symmetrical since it can be split into Ho & oH; when it comes to their physical design, they have what we could consider, for simplicity’s sake, both “positive” & “negative”

Let’s pretend that positive is represented by the white tiles & negative is represented by black tiles, you can reverse the situation & it’ll still apply: the positive & negative tiles balance each other bc there is enough of both positive & negative that they would cancel each other out, creating a sense of balance

The symbol of HooH is well represented by a balance scale, often used for measuring & comparing the weights of objects to see if one is lighter, heavier, or equal in weight to another

Equilibrium as a concept refers to the idea that two opposing things cancel/balance each other out, creating something called “sum zero”; the implication of equilibrium is that things in life are divided by two as opposed to any other number

Herta talks about HooH in a dev log regarding how long they’ve been around compared to other aeons while also pointing out how they focus on duality

Now we have Xipe the Harmony who has a human-like body w/ 3 faces on a single head, long hair, purple skin, a dress that encompasses space, a ring of rainbow colors behind their head, and puzzle pieces floating around their form

Their symbol is quite abstract when we look at it as a whole

It is similar to Ena’s symbol where we had those abstract shapes in the background which came out to be 3 circles & 3 sharp points; here is a similar situation where the shapes are repeated 3 times in a circular fashion (it reminds me of the mitsudomoe, it’s the symbol that has 3 tomoe going around the central point of focus)

As of this point I’m not sure if the shapes themselves actually refer to/mean something specific to Xipe but I think something to point out is that the “commas” act differently based on whether they’re in the forefront or the background

The ones in the front don’t seem to interfere with any of the outer shapes on the same layer as them; however when we look at the background, the commas seem to cross into the other shapes next to them

Now what exactly is Harmony? The concept itself is when everything comes together in a single thing to create something unique or something that is typically good; for example we use harmony in music to refer to when notes or instruments are played together to create a coherent/cohesive song but we can also use harmony to refer to other things like life; in other words, harmony is a synonym for unity

Next we’re going to look at connections to each other & to the story; these 3 Aeons have varying degrees of involvement in the story as well as with each other; HooH seems to have very little connection to the other two so there isn’t rlly much I can say about them for the time being aside from their supposed involvement in the Swarm Disaster & the end of Tayzzyronth which we find in the simulated universe

However Ena & Xipe are much more connected both to each other & to the story when compared to HooH

Ena & Xipe are quite similar which makes sense considering that their concepts were fairly similar which ended up with the former getting absorbed (to clarify on their concepts, Order is the specific way to arrange or place things while Harmony focuses on fusing or combining things to bring about peace or good)

In terms of design, I would argue that they share similar color palettes, mainly cool colors (purple, blue) w/ a side of warmer colors on other features (Ena’s accessories & veil, Xipe’s halo)

Another similarity that I can see is their connection to music

Both Aeons received praise through songs through their respective factions, Beyond the Sky Choir & the Family; now that I think about it, perhaps the “commas” in Xipe’s symbol are actually supposed to be music notes in the world of HSR? I wouldn’t be surprised if they write music notes differently from what we would expect

Now in terms of their connections to the story I’ve heard theories of Ena being possibly connected to Gaiathra Triclops, the Mother Goddess that is mentioned in the most recent Trailblaze quest (****the next part about Gaiathra Triclops is mostly just me entertaining some ideas & pointing things out that I want to note, take w/ a grain of salt); I don’t think they are the same bc there are a few discrepancies that can be pointed out but maybe Gaiathra Triclops is an aspect of Ena that physically manifested

It is explained that Avgins do not follow the Aeon belief system but we also don’t know the exact origins of the Mother Goddess so what if she came from an Aeon? Aeons are the origin of concepts so it doesn’t seem far fetched to suggest that “minor”/sub-gods(?) could possibly come from them

We know that even if an Aeon dies, sometimes they leave behind remnants of themselves that still exist in the current time (e.g. Tayzzyronth & Swarm Disaster) so I don’t think it’s impossible for a similar situation here

We hear that Gaiathra Triclops is depicted as a left palm w/ 3 eyes & Ena does have 3 eyes in total if we count the one in the background; interestingly she is described specifically to be often depicted as a LEFT palm so are there any other manifestations of Ena possibly depicted as a right palm or just another body part in general?

Speaking of eyes, many have pointed out that the eye in the background has a striking resemblance to Aventurine’s eyes

The irises & pupils don’t look the exact same but it feels more of a design choice bc Aventurine’s eye shapes help to establish a sense of mystery/suspicion when it comes to his character; other than that the purple/neon pink outer ring & inner blue ring do match

If the Mother Goddess inherited the same eye from Ena, it could possibly explain how the Aventurine got the same eye despite Ena having been gone before the Sigonian incidents; I know the timeline of events are a bit cloudy so it’s not all clear but it just seems way more than a coincidence to me that Aventurine has the same eye colors as the one that appears besides Ena but I’ll leave my musings there

Now Xipe is the one who has a much more prominent presence in Penacony’s story compared to the other two Aeons

Even before entering the world we are made aware of Xipe’s ties to Penacony & its history; Penacony used to be a desert planet that acted as a prison which was owned by the IPC; the IPC eventually lost control of it due to Nanook & the residents of Penacony became members of the Family under Xipe

In terms of the Trailblaze Mission itself, we never see Xipe in person but we do see two notable instances of (extensions of) Xipe’s powers in the story: first is when we enter the Dreamscape & Robin helps us get accustomed to the new environment through tuning; second time is when Sunday invokes their power on Aventurine during the interrogation

In both cases we get the rainbow aura reminiscent of Xipe’s halo around our screens, for the MC we seem to have less of a problem whereas Aventurine suffers the entire time he’s under the influence; this reminds me of our clockwork ability which is essentially direct emotional manipulation (Clockie is most definitely sus, no question about it)

To me this change in how the extensions of Xipe’s power can go from harmless to dangerous is representative of Penacony’s storyline; it looks like a normal peaceful resort at first glance but then we learn about the darker aspect of the Dreamscape aka the memes that have appeared & untold dangers

To end this off, I do want to reiterate how Ena, HooH, and Xipe are interesting representations of different aspects of balance if you could tell based off my title for this thread; my main reason why I bring this up is bc Nanook is presented or framed as the main antagonist of this game bc of their nature as the Aeon of Destruction and the intention/goal is to stop them supposedly…

Therefore I am curious of whether we will see Xipe, HooH, and just the other Aeons in general play a bigger role in this plot of somehow stopping Nanook or if they’ll leave them be bc that is simply their nature; they are all beings who follow their own concepts & ideals so they do what they feel is right based off of their own values

If we are to consider what is balance in this universe, destruction would be the opposite of preservation which is represented by Qlipoth but we also can consider Yaoshi to be their opposite since they help grow life wherever they go

We also were somewhat expecting the Annihilation Gang to make an appearance during the story but we learned that they disbanded after Ifrit was killed by Acheron; does this mean that we won’t really see them again? We also know that Nanook doesn’t really like how the Annihilation Gang operates bc they see their sadistic desire to destroy as “impure” so it seems almost like we’re left hanging when it comes to them

I know that we are still in the Penacony arc so this might not be addressed at the moment but I’m still interested in seeing how the overall plot involving Nanook will play out 👀

[softonshanks]

1. Your url is so good im jealous, 2. Me and my bother have had this inside joke for the longest that if the straw hats ever had a ships cat for rat catching knowing oda it would probably be ugly instead of cute and too lazy to catch rats so uh, if you have time, could you do some hcs about the straw hats having a terrible, incompetent cat?

Ciaooo and thank you so much <3 I'm glad you like my url. You've an amazing icon btw, long live Fitzgerald.

(ran into this post while writing it and this draw stuck with me lol)

Appearance: The cat is a black cat with a small patch of white fur on its chest, vaguely reminiscent of a Jolly Roger if you watch it from afar. His eyes are a striking gold, and he has a permanently disinterested expression on his face. He wears a tiny, straw hat on a string around his neck, a miniature version of Luffy's iconic hat, gifted by Usopp.

Personality: The cat is the epitome of laziness. He spends most of his time lounging in the sun on the Thousand Sunny, draped over Zoro's swords, curled up in Robin's lap while she reads, or nestled into Chopper’s fur. Despite his apparent lethargy, actually the cat is highly intelligent and observant, often seen watching the crew's antics with half-lidded eyes, as if silently judging them.

Interactions with the Crew:

Luffy: Luffy adores it, frequently trying to play with him. However, the cat often ignores Luffy’s attempts at play, which only makes Luffy more determined to win him over. Sometimes, the cat will humor Luffy by swatting at a string or lightly biting his fingers, but only if he's in the mood.

Zoro: the cat has an unspoken bond with Zoro. They both enjoy napping in the same sunny spots on the ship, and it is often found curled up on Zoro’s chest while he sleeps. The crew jokes that the cat is Zoro’s spirit animal because of their shared love of sleep and that if the cat could drink, he would do it, as it already gives annoyed glances at people passing by when it's not in the mood.

Nami: Nami has a soft spot for the cat, though she tries to pretend she doesn’t. She'll often sneak him little treats from the kitchen and make sure he has a warm blanket on colder nights. It repays her with the occasional nuzzle against her leg, but only when no one is looking.

Usopp: Usopp loves telling the cat exaggerated stories, acting out grand adventures for the cat's supposed amusement. It usually just stares at him with a blank and annoyed expression, but Usopp is convinced that the cat is secretly fascinated.

Sanji: Sanji is the only one who can consistently coax the cat into being active, usually by tempting him with gourmet fish dishes. It will actually get up and follow Sanji around the kitchen if he smells something delicious being prepared, occasionally “helping” by sitting in the middle of whatever Sanji is working on.

Chopper: It is surprisingly gentle with Chopper, often sitting quietly beside him when he’s working in the infirmary. Chopper is convinced that the cat has a calming effect on patients, so he always welcomes the cat's presence.

Robin: of course it spends the most time with Robin. He'll curl up on her lap while she reads, occasionally batting at the pages if he gets bored. Robin enjoys his quiet company and often gives him scratches behind the ears, which it secretly loves.

Franky: Franky tried to build the cat a super high-tech cat bed, but it ignored it in favor of sleeping on top of a random pile of junk. Franky was initially disappointed, but he respects its independence, often chatting with him while he works on the Sunny.

Brook: Brook enjoys playing music for the cat, who will sometimes tap his tail in time with the beat, but only if it's a particularly mellow tune. Brook would like to caress him with his fingertips, but he hasn't have any cause he's dead oh oh oh

Jinbe: Jinbe is indifferent to the cat's laziness but respects the cat's serenity. They share a mutual understanding, often sitting together in silence during quiet moments on the ship.

Bonus:

Despite his lazy nature, the cat has surprisingly sharp reflexes. He has been known to catch flies out of the air with lightning speed or avoid falling objects with grace. In battle, though he rarely participates, he’ll sometimes trip up enemies with a well-timed pounce or swipe, then immediately go back to lounging.

It has an uncanny ability to sense danger before it happens. If Maru suddenly gets up and leaves a spot he’s been lounging in, the crew knows something is up, whether it’s a storm on the horizon or an ambush waiting for them.

[monin1ca]

Tearing at the seams (Chamber x reader)

Word count:1.7k

Warnings: Angst with comfort at the end (because I hate bad endings), suggestive-ish, cursing, mentions of wounds, google translated french

Synopsis: Being Sage's intern was challenging, and it took time to understand how to use your powers in the desired way. Your training has brought you to this stage, where you are tending to the protocol's flirt; Chamber.

Fortunately, he escaped with only one wound in his torso and one shot in his shoulder. Sage already did most of the work and tasked you to apply the antibiotics and change the bandages on Chamber. You had “history” with the gunsmith; back in high school, you developed feeling for the infamous heartthrob Vincent Fabron. Being the naive idiot, you were, you confessed to him on the last day of school. Only for him to be called by his parents to leave ‘right this instant.’ He gives you what you think was a fake smile, “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go-” leaving you there- heartbroken and all alone, your beating heart tearing at the seams. 

Being Sage’s intern was a tough job; learning how to use your radiant abilities and use them for how they were intended; was a long journey. Though, now you were fully capable of controlling them. Sage’s clinic was also quite hectic, ranging from minor cuts and bruises to dead people being brought back to life. You could only imagine how stressed Sage was before she took you in, but now? Holy shit.

Some agents were chosen to partake in an infiltration mission to their mirror world; the damage to the agents was considerable. The selected ones were Sage, Omen, Jett, Fade, Sova, Reyna, Chamber, and Viper. Your mentor came home with a few gunshots- not too significant. The rest? It was a different story- Sova broke a few bones of his ribcage, Jett blacked out, Fade got substantial gunshot wounds, Omen’s shadows started leaking out of his armor, Reyna dislocated her ankle, Viper inhaled too much of her mirror’s nasty toxins and who else were you forgetting… Ah, right. The man you were tending to Chamber…

But when you were recruited into the Valorant protocol and saw the French man- You decided to pretend your silly little confession never happened, and he never brought it up. Though lately- you started falling for him again; it was idiotic. All the playful banter and flirting made your heart beat so much faster, the sweet gestures he does for you. You feel delusional because you keep thinking- ‘I dont see him doing this to other people. It makes me feel… special’ You know, you know. But you learned from your mistakes and told yourself never to confess to Chamber.

You snap out of your train of nostalgic memories and knock on the room where Sage said where she left Chamber. “Oh?” The injured man’s muffled voice reverberates through the door, “Monsieur, I’m here to tend to your injuries.” You shouted, hoping it was enough to be heard through the thick door. “Ah, Y/N? Come in; the door is unlocked.” You opened the door to be greeted with a strong scent of cologne; the room was intricately decorated with white and gold. You shuffled awkwardly into the room; you looked around the room, seeing the male in his canopy bed. The tops of the bed held a translucent curtain with gold lines coming down on it, and soft duvet sheets crumpled due to Chamber laying down lazily. Everything in this room reminds you of how poor you were compared to him. You strode to the bed and placed your materials on the nearby nightstand; you noticed his iconic glasses and gold watch that probably costs millions. Vincent wasn’t wearing his vest and tie and was only wearing his white button-down. Which told you he was already anticipating your arrival. You sigh deeply to yourself,

‘Let’s get this over with before I combust.’

“Alrighty, mister, how are you feeling right now?” You inquire, looking at everything but him. “I was doing ok, but I feel better now that you are here.” The latter winks, and you playfully roll your eyes at him. “May I?” You gesture at his torso, and he smiles. “Please, knock yourself out.” Chamber pats a spot on his left, motioning for you to approach and do your work. You strolled to his side; the bed dipped at your weight when you placed your knee. Your hands slowly made their way to the buttons; you could feel his eyes on you. Even though you felt like prey being watched by its predator, you continued unbuttoning the attire. It felt like eons when you finally reached the last button, your hands dangerously close to his lower half. Once you finished, you quickly pulled your hands away to avoid the awkwardness and pulled them back up higher to remove the first plaster. ‘His torso looked like it was a frame of a greek god. Shit, what am I thinking?’ You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts and focused on removing the plaster as painlessly as possible. It was so adorable how flustered you were on Chamber’s end, The tippy top of your ears with multiple shades of red, and how you avoided eye contact with him. It was just so adorable~ You placed your left hand on his abs to have support and used your right hand to peel the plaster slowly; you heard the french man hiss and groan in pain at the action. ‘God, that sounded so hot.’ “Just a little bit more and- There.” You chirped, relieved that it was partially over. You threw the old bloody plaster in a nearby bin and got the antibiotic; you opened the medicine and squeezed it onto a soft cotton pad. “I’ll apply this special antibiotic that should sanitize, clean, and remove the scar of your wound. It might hurt, but you're a big boy, right?” You explained to him; he chuckles at the last part of your sentence. “I am a big boy, mon Cheri. Though take it slow, I’m enjoying every aspect of this.” You were stunned, “I- W-what ever… Weirdo.” You lowered your head, hoping your hair was long enough to hide your face. You slowly rub the cotton pad on the gunsmith’s skin and hear the knee-wobbling hiss again, this time caused by the shock of the cold medicine colliding against his skin. At last, you were finished; you threw the used pad and grabbed the fresh new bandages. 

“Can you sit up a ‘Lil bit? I need a little allowance to wrap this around your body.” The male complies obediently, sitting up from his pillow and waiting for your move. You go closer and start wrapping the bandages around his body, your hot breath against his chest. His breath hitches as you slowly begin your little ministrations, as you were wrapping the bandages around- You notice that he has had previous injuries before this, the faint, faint scars proving it; sure, it was normal, but you never saw him get hurt before going into the protocol.  You were so lost in your train of thought Chamber had to point out you were adding too much fabric. “Were you enjoying the view that much, Cheri?” You were not going to lie to yourself, and you were enjoying the view. “Yeah, I was.” Now it was his turn to blush; he was silent after that one. ‘As you should, Mr. Heartthrob’ You chuckled to yourself, and you moved closer to him; Placing your hand and legs over him for stability, you almost looked like you were straddling Chamber if people walked in and saw the scene. “I’m going to treat your shot in the shoulder; I’ll go a bit closer, yeah?” He gives a slight nod, his accentuated cheeks still dusted in pink. You leaned closer and slowly removed the old plaster; the slight sounds of the plaster ripping off his skin made you shudder. You can only imagine how much he went through in his past injuries; Chamber notices the sadness on your face. “What’s wrong, mon ange?”  His hand reaches your face, gentle hands caressing your cheeks. You leaned into his touch, clutching the used plaster in your hands. “I.. Just- can’t imagine what you went through before joining the protocol..” You brushed the faint scars on his body; his body hitched at your touch. You feel like the air is being sucked out due to the heavy tension between you, your heart pounding against your ribcage.

Silence… 

Suddenly, Chamber drops his hands lower, grabs your waist, and pulls you closer. “You are too good for me.” You yelp at the sudden action, and his slightly dry lips meet yours. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest, perhaps when his lips touched yours, time stood still, but the beating in your chest only grew stronger. As your knees grew weak, you fell forward to his embrace; you could only concentrate on how smooth he was against your mouth and how completely he had taken over your senses. Chamber clouded your thoughts; all you could think of was Chamber. You moan slightly on his lips, signaling to pull away. He understood and pulled away; your head was spinning not from the lack of air but from why this was happening. You had millions of questions, but you could only muster “Why?” He laughs, “Well, the simplest explanation is; I like you too. And this tension? I could not stand it.” You wanted to pinch yourself to see if this was all real, but the loving look on his face told you this was all too real. “B-but my confession from all those years ago-” “My parents sent me home because,”  he cut you off. “I was drafted into the military; they wanted to send me far away. They’ve always thought I was incompetent and needed a so-called boost.” The truth behind his scars and why he left you behind the school amazed you. All these questions finally had answers; your eyes were filled with tears. “Ah, mon amour, don’t waste your pretty tears on me.” He says as he wipes your stray tears, “You still have to finish patching me up after all,” The male chuckles; you can’t hold back anymore, your heart tearing at the seams, not because it got broken. Now it is because your love for him is starting to overflow.

Author's note - THIS WAS INSPIRED BY ONE OF THE PROMPT THINGY I REBLOGED! HOPE YALL WILL ENJOY THIS ONE^^

[lokis-dark-queen]

A “Horny” Reunion Pt. 1/2

Sub Loki/Fem Reader Smut

Summary: After some time away on Asgard, Loki receives a special request from his lover during their steamy reunion that involves his ceremonial armor and those iconic gold horns.

Warnings/notes: SMUT 18+, kinda inappropriate use of Loki’s horns (they are basically handlebars.) He’s also sub because I say so. This is part one of a two part one-shot.

Word Count: 2,869

Also on AO3

Loki has been in Asgard for almost three weeks now, three weeks without Loki was hell for her. She thought that it would be fun at first, some time without Loki where she could focus on herself and have fun with her girlfriends. And she did for the first couple weeks, while Loki was dealing with “official royal business” in Asgard, she was partying with her friends and staying up late. It wasn't that she couldn’t do all those things with Loki around, he was not controlling at all. She just liked the feeling of being by herself for a while and doing what she wanted. However, time apart makes the heart grow fonder, and at the end of the second week, the lack of Loki’s presence began to weigh heavy on her. She missed his voice, his laugh, and his witty remarks. Her bed felt cold without him, she missed waking up to him in the morning, his hands would wander her body as she was slowly drawn from her slumber. He would place soft kisses on her face and down her neck as she stirred awake in his arms. 

What she missed most, however, was the sex. She loved Loki as a person and she was absolutely in love with him. But gods he could fuck! She became addicted to him after their first night together, she could never sleep with anyone else after that. Eventually he moved in with her after they both grew tired of living at the Avengers’ tower. Sneaking around with him and being bugged by the Avengers constantly was not a good mix. They finally had their privacy, that was until Loki was being called back to Asgard more often. She was happy that Loki was close with his brother again, and that he was able to go see his mother freely. However, his relationship with Odin was still estranged, it wasn’t surprising, Loki still refused to fully forgive him for the way that he treated Loki growing up. She supported Loki and his decisions, but she still missed him dearly.

Now she laid on her bed, one of Loki’s capes was wrapped around her frame as she curled up, staring at the empty spot next to her. Loki's scent was beginning to fade from his side of the bed, as well as the cape. She closed her eyes and pretended that he was there next to her. Her hands ran down the material of the cape, to her stomach, and eventually down her shorts. Getting herself off these past few weeks wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do until Loki came back. 

When she suddenly heard a deep familiar voice, she thought she was hallucinating.

“Oh darling, have you been desperate in my absence?” 

Her eyes flew open as she sat up on the bed, the god of mischief himself stood at the foot of it. She flung herself at him immediately, jumping off the bed and wrapping her arms and legs around his tall frame. 

“Loki! I missed you so much.” Her face was buried in the crook of his neck as a few tears fell from her cheeks, “Part of me thought you would never come back.” 

“Me? Leave you? Darling I would simply cease to exist without you. These past few weeks have been incredibly tiring, they wanted me to stay longer. But I told my mother I had important business to tend to on Midgard.” He smirked, taking a handful of her ass as he held her up. 

She pulled back and looked Loki in the eyes, “Is that my name now? Important business?” She giggled before giving him a brief kiss. The kisses traveled to his flushed cheeks and forehead as she pampered him with love and affection. She ran her hands down his neck to the ceremonial leather and armor that he still wore from his business on Asgard, “It’s been awhile since i've seen you in the full get up. I almost forgot how hot it is.” 

Loki backed up and spun them around so that she was pinned between the wall and his body. His hands wrapped around the backs of her thighs and hoisted her up so that he could pull her into a deep, desperate kiss that would make a virgin blush. The scent of leather mixed with Loki’s natural scent of cedar and spice filled her nostrils as he pressed his hips into hers. She gasped into the kiss, running her fingernails down the back of his leather coat. Loki pulled away, causing her to let out a small whine before kissing down his neck.

“I know how much you love my armor darling, however, it is quite difficult to AGH-!” He grunted as she left a small bite mark on his neck, she sucked on his skin with the intention of leaving a nice mark for later. “QUITE! Difficult to maneuver in.”

She pulled back and gave him a smile, “But you seem to walk around in it just fine.” She runs her hands down the golden armor, fingers tracing the small patterns that adorn it. 

“I’m not talking about walking. I mean special… maneuvers.” He hoped she would get the hint. 

She looked at him in confusion for a moment, “So what? You can’t fuck in it?”

Loki normally loved and admired how straightforward she was when she spoke to him. But now, she was leaving him flustered and speechless. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, he saw that her pupils were blown with lust as she smirked, fully aware that she currently had the upper hand. 

“It's not that I can’t, it’s just difficult to move in that way.” He explained.

“Oh, I understand.” She complied, somewhat sarcastically. 

“Good.” He gently placed her back on her feet, “Now let me take all this off and we can-” He was cut off by her guiding him back to the armchair in the corner of the room before she put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him down, his armor clanking as it met the soft material. Loki was immensely stronger than her, of course, but he still let her control him at times. 

“What? Darling you’re not! Ooh~” He gasped as she gripped his hard cock through the leather. 

“C’mon baby, don’t act like you don’t like it when I push you around. You're already so hard for me.” She replaces her hand with her clothed, wet cunt and ground against his leather trousers that concealed him. She could feel her wetness leaking through her thin underwear and shorts, now polishing his leather pants perfectly. “See? Feel.” She grabbed his hand and brought it to her heated center, she guided his fingers into a circling motion on her clit. Loki moaned at her actions, secretly loving the feeling of being used by a beautiful, demanding woman. “This is how you make me feel, I get so turned on when I see you dressed like this.” She moaned, moving her hips in time with his hand, “Good boy, you make me feel so fucking good.” She kissed him, swallowing his moans that she drew from him. 

“Darling, please.” He begged between kisses, “I need you, p-please.”

“I love it when you beg for me, mischief.”

They just couldn’t wait any longer after these long weeks away from each other. While she was tending to her needs on earth, Loki was pleasuring himself on Asgard whenever he had time away from his royal duties. He imagined fucking her in his large bed covered in his favorite green silken sheets, making her scream his name so that all of Asgard knew who she belonged to. But now, he was sitting in their shared room of her New York apartment, the curtains wide open and looking over the lively city beneath them, absolutely at her will. He was ready to do anything for her, and he nearly moaned out loud when she began to undo the laces on his leather trousers. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the armrests of the chair, his eyes were focused on her, taking in every feature on her face and they way that her hands trembled with excitement as she finally undid the final lace and opened his trousers. She quickly abandoned her tee, showing her soft breasts to Loki’s wandering eyes, before reaching down to make a fist around his long cock. She slowly stroked him, he threw his head back in pleasure as she used her thumb to circle the blushed head, a small sheen of pre cum covered her thumb. She brought her thumb up to her mouth to taste him. 

She slipped herself off of his body before untying her sleeping shorts and sliding them down her legs, Loki clenched his jaw in anticipation. She placed herself back on her throne that was Loki’s lap and gave him a deep kiss and ran her hands up his chest to play with the curls at the end of his hair. She leaned back and looked the powerful god beneath her up and down. His angry red cock stood in contrast to his black leather, his chestplate raised up and down with his heavy breathing and his pale cheeks wore a faded flush. 

“Somethings missing.” She stated, running her fingers through his dark locks. 

“What is it, my love?” 

She put her index fingers to her forehead to mimic the look of his signature horns. “Put your horns on.” She demanded. 

“W-why?” He stuttered 

“Because I want to hold on to them while I ride you.”

Her straightforwardness made his cock twitch in need, “Anything for you, my love.” He smiled before a ring of magic, manifesting itself in green glimmers, surrounded his head in a halo before turning into his glistening, golden horns. 

She smiled as she ran her hands up and down the gold that now adorned his head, stroking the horns as if they were his dick. She slid her fingers along the cheek pieces that accentuated his prominent cheekbones. She tilted his head back further so that she could kiss him deeply without colliding with the horns before lifting her hips to press her wet pussy against the head of his cock, the sheen of their combined arousal put a nice shine on the leather that covered his abdomen. She pulled away from the kiss to hold onto his horns before sinking onto him. They both gasped at the feeling of being with each other once again. 

“Oh fuck- I missed you so much Loki.” She moaned before gripping onto his horns tighter and moving her hips in a circling, grinding motion. 

Loki let out a deep growl and held on to her waist as she began to slowly bounce on top of him. His fingers eventually made their way up to her pebbled nipples and began to play with them gently. She arched her back into his touch and whined his name. Loki’s moans became louder as he realized he wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer, he was more desperate than he anticipated. He didn’t think he would cum this quickly, and if he was in control he probably wouldn’t, but she was riding him so perfectly right now and he couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips up, causing his cock to slide inside her perfect cunt even deeper. 

“Darling, w-wait I- I can’t. Slow down.” 

“It’s okay, you can cum.” She allowed, circling her hips once again. 

“FUCK! Fuck~” His hands held on tight to the flesh on her thighs, fingernails leaving shallow marks in her skin as he coated her walls with his cum. Sweat formed underneath the headpiece on his forehead and small tears shone underneath his eyes. 

She gasped, loving the feeling of him filling her up. She knew Loki insisted that she came first whenever they fucked, but seeing him lose control under her was worth it. Besides, she would make sure he made it up to her after he recovered from his powerful orgasm. 

“Are you with me, darling?” She ran her thumbs along his jawline as he relaxed beneath her. 

“Always, my love.” He opened his eyes, looking into her’s with the same amount of love and lust that he had when he caught her touching herself when he arrived back home. “What about you? You didn’t cum.” 

“Aw darling, so considerate.” She lifted herself off his softening cock, Loki’s cum leaking from her pussy, and stood in front of him, “Stand up.” She demanded. He did as he was told before she put her hands on his clothed biceps, turning them around and sitting down where Loki was only seconds ago. She spread her legs for him, giving him a perfectly unobstructed view of his seed leaking out of her cunt. “Get to it then.” 

Loki wasted no time dropping to his knees in front of her and holding on to her thighs, keeping them open so that his horns could fit in between her legs. She reached down and held onto them once again as she felt his warm breath brushing against her wet folds. She pushed her hips into his mouth and pulled his head closer by his golden headpiece. Loki licked up her slit, drinking his own release from her cunt, before circling her clit with his tongue. 

“Fuck~ can you taste yourself, mischief?” She moaned, grasping on tight to his horns.

Loki groaned in approval as she arched her back and pushed her hips closer to his mouth in an attempt to feel more friction from his tongue. His long fingers teased her entrance as his tongue circled her clit. His cum being used as lube as he curled two of his fingers to push against her g spot. She now her head thrown back in pleasure, screaming out his name and digging her fingernails into the soft felt of the chair. Tears of utter pleasure pricked the corners of his eyes as her legs shook on either side of his head, brushing against the chilling gold of his horns that raised gooseflesh on her skin. 

Loki moaned between her legs as if he was getting off from her taste alone. He looked up at her with those gorgeous cerulean eyes that bore into her soul, she could barely keep eye contact with him before her eyes rolled back into her skull. Loki sped up his movements, determined to make her cum just as hard as he did. He smirked against her pussy as her thighs tightened around his head. 

“I’m gonna cum- ah LOKI!” She cried out as her knuckles turned white, holding Loki’s horns in a death grip as her powerful orgasm possessed her body, leaving her quivering in Loki’s arms. Loki continued eating her out as her climax felt nearly endless. Her cunt was swollen in overstimulation as she began to push at his head in an attempt to crawl away from his talented silver tongue. Loki took the hint and stopped his pleasurable assault, slowly kissing her thighs and up to her stomach. He made his way back up her body so that his face was level with hers, giving her a soft kiss before she wrapped her arms around his neck to help her sit up straight and return the kiss. 

“I love you darling, it feels good to be home. May I change into something more comfortable now?” He smirked, placing a kiss on her soft cheek. 

She giggled and stood up with Loki, running her hands around the intricate details of his armor, taking it in before it was gone for the foreseeable future. “I guess you can. I’ll miss it though.” 

“You will see it again darling, I promise” 

Loki used his magic to change into a pair of black lounge pants. Loki looked sexy in whatever he wore, besides now she had access to his exposed torso. She immediately took the opportunity to touch his skin that was slightly flushed and sweaty from their previous activities. She ran her hands through his inky hair, caressing where the proud helmet once sat. 

“I love you mischief, never leave me again.” She pouted, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around his back.

He wrapped one arm around her waist as the other cradled the back of her head, running his fingers through her tangled hair and kissing her on the forehead. “Unfortunately, I cannot skip my trips to Asgard. I can, however, bring you with me next time.”

“Sounds perfect.” She looked back up at him, kissing his lips once again before they made their way back to the bed, she ended up back on his lap, peppering his face with kisses once more. 

“Since you got to make demands on what I wore this time, I have a request.” 

“What is it, mischief?” She smiled. 

“I want you to wear the deliciously tight combat suit that you wear on your missions next time.” 

She leaned back and looked at him with an entertained look on her face before giving him a seductive smirk, “Deal.”

[lightwing-s]

the batboys as 2000s pop hits (male vers.)

Did anyone even doubt that Dick *motherfucking* Grayson would choose anything other than SexyBack as his favorite 2000s song? That’s his anthem! His favorite time to listen to it is while dressing up for another one of Bruce’s boring galas because it makes him less annoyed to be going if he can “pretend” to be a rich bachelor (which he actually is!!!). He’ll walk around like Justin Timberlake  does in the music video, dancing with every step, and stopping at  every mirror to “fix” his bow tie, or his hair, or check his butt out. He not only feels the song, he embodies it. So be damn sure he’ll be marking whatever event that is with just his mere presence (as if he doesn’t do it without the song, but anyways). All the ladies, single or not, will be swooning over him, his charm stronger than ever, and that smirk… Jesus Christ have mercy on you. When he stares into your eyes with that damned smirk, you’re done for. “If that's your girl you better watch your back”, says the song, and tonight he’s the most dangerous man in the room. After all, he’s bringing sexy back.

Listen, this part might not be very pg-13 as usual, but Jason listens to Smack That by Akon religiously. And there’s only one word to describe how he feels/looks/acts/exists while and after listening to it: Daddy, with the capital D. It’s the kind of song that will unconsciously (or very consciously) boost his confidence, make him feel the shit, so he loves to listen to it before/during patrol, or when he feels like fighting Bruce that day. He also listened to it before asking you out, it just has a power over him he can’t explain. He’ll listen to it while getting ready or at the gym, and he’ll stare at his chest (and his abs) and just… you know, feel hot! Especially with his newfound love for his scar, after you so much insisted it made him just a tad bit hotter than he already is. He also loves to listen to that before taking you to bed. I’ll end this here.

Tim misses when Maroon 5 actually made good music. This Love is such an iconic moment, but he feels like it was kind of their peak and they never managed to make a song to make him feel greater than that one does. He’s not much of a dancer, but he surprises everybody with how good he is at singing, though. He’ll sing it at  the top of his lungs, especially the high notes by the end of the song. Iit also makes him feel light, like the world can be fairly simple for once and not a dangerous mess, all during those short 3 minutes. #BringBackOldMaroon5 

Coming late into the 2000s music scene just as Damian came in later to the family, Justin Bieber’s world wide hit Baby might have been the only one hit of that decade he remembers listening to on the radio and perhaps even the only singer he recognizes. It’s not a great song, he is not proud of choosing it, but it was it or nothing. His brothers, though, think the song is very fitting for the family baby, and now he regrets his choice and is piling up Justin Bieber merch and burning it in protest (but he has Purpose hidden away because that album is gold).

[wario-speedwagon]

top 5 ai the somnium files characters??

ohoho, well lemme tell ya with great pleasure! :D

(disclaimer, I've only played through the first game, so I will only be including characters from that game and not the sequel)

5. Boss

It's in her name, she gaslights, gatekeeps, girlbosses and looks good doing it! Jokes aside though, I love how she is simultaneously secretly and subtly caring while also just. blunt and unapologetic about overworking her subordinates or unashamed to crack dirty innuendos. She has all sorts of random trinkets and junk all over her office, from boy band posters to christmas trees to party decorations. Shady but with a heart of gold. She's not quite as deep a spoiler angst rabbit hole character as some others, but she's a joy every time she's on screen, ya love to see her <3

4. Hitomi

This is my one underrated underdog pick, but ourgh, loving and supportive single mothers doing their best while keeping their dark tragic backstories private from their kids, my beloved <3 I could delve into detail just how magnificent her backstory is, from the circumstances of her being a mother to her tragic past love life, and how being a stereotypical normal boring sweet schoolteacher mother figure, she's been unfortunately involved in the most dangerous secrets but just trying to live her best life with her daughter despite it. Hitomi my beloved, seemingly simple characters with hidden depth, my beloved

3. Aiba

She is soooo silly and also maybe the only sane person here, or at least sane in the way an AI personality would be. She is Date's AI assistant and also his prosthetic eye, and the right gif is the form she takes when she's outside of his eyesocket. The left gif is her digital avatar form. She's constantly judging Date's thoughts and actions, she gets excited about bugs, she helps Date be a better parent (more on that later), she does Hacker Skillz on a whim, she might be capable of actual love even as an AI! Truly a worthy pfp :3

2. Date

You've heard of Love to Hate, but this guy will force you to learn what Hate to Love means. Cringy horny porn-addict failure of a person, how dare you be an amazing character with a super sad spoiler backstory and amazing angst going on. I need to push him down some stairs right now. He has a fantastic coworker good cop/bad cop dynamic going on with Aiba his eyball assistant (he's mysteriously missing an eye and Aiba is his replacement), and he's a grumpy but genuinely trying temporary guardian for a bratty middle schooler who holds him in contempt and pretends to hate him (i.e. we're talking wet cat & wet cat found family dynamics >:)

1. Mizuki

I love this child. I would do anything for this child. I would do anything to be this child. Snarky ass middle schooler. Human weapon of mass destruction because why not. Had a hard home life with her abusive or neglectful parents and is now a tsundere wet cat found family roommate with Date whom she bullies like a sibling but is still in denial about who her real family are. She carries grenades and such in her backpack even to school and she carries her favorite lead pipe with her everywhere. (spoilers) she has seen both of her parents' dead bodies and in some timelines her best friends' and favorite teacher's as well...

Ough the character depth and growth and angst and silliness of this character, the sheer badassery, her iconic-ness--oh yeah, she canonically says in game says that she respects and is inspired the LGBT community (based). You just can't get more S-tier than Mizuki. Might be favorite character of all time. I'm so excited when I eventually play the sequel because she's the protagonist in it! :D

[fourleafclovxr]

liveblogging fotsge because i just bought it

alternatively: soman please don't disappoint me

i have no recollection of what happened in rotsge. fair warning.

"young lad with dark red curls and a smattering of freckles" oh a school master? i want to think he's a sader & a seer so i can say that my sader meta is supported by soman but this desc reminds me of tristan/yara actually...

did soman forget his own lore. didn't august sader tell rafal that he needed the readers.

hook is actually quite a good character and pissing off BOTH twins! good for him.

these evers are. wow. incredibly in character. they rly do capture the essence of good for the sake of being good? on that note, the commentary on evers being spoiled and bored in this duology has been pretty okay (if a bit. pointless? to be honest these books were pointless)

NAMELESS BOY? rhian love interest?

the idea of pan's world is actually really interesting. a place that doesn't follow good and evil, but rather chaos, which places good and evil as the opposite of chaos— order? and hook says "that's why it's so dangerous" which i guess does make sense from his pov but. i hope this concept gets explored more later

kyma questioning whether they're good is also v interesting! comparing the good pirates to evil pan (their roles are reversed, the pirates usually evil and pan usually good— also kyma seems traditional which explains her traditional fairytale view)

"close-shaven black hair [and] violet eyes" HELLO??? lady lesso??? what is your ancestor (?) doing in neverland (it can't be a coincidence right... knowing soman it could be though) one of pan's lost boys huh?

kyma IMMEDIATELY going against pan as soon as he threatened a fluffy animal. and getting them into trouble.

pan is getting more and more creepy though... especially for a thirteen-year-old?

SADERS WORKING WITH PAN????? guys look my meta was right. the saders being on the side of CHAOS instead of good and evil?? because it'll turn out better for them??

"three children who go exploring an enchanted island" rafal i'm pretty sure that's kind of important for you...

kyma is so. good. and her conversation with the ingertroll is oddly touching. she's like the sensible, good version of evelyn sader and i am HERE for it

i deeply enjoy midas' character. i wonder what the significance of the name is? midas, the greedy king, ruined by his greed? (greed for what?) (also he said gay rights. happy pride!)

i also have to say that soman writes homoeroticism incredibly well and that he should have done this more if he wanted people to think his books had good lgbtq+ rep because they would eat it up

luoto bakthi is really. the villains in this series are a lot more sinister than in the proper sge series and i'm actually kind of impressed?

that was over really quickly! good job kyma!

MALICE ROOM 66???????

"a bug crept into the plot" ie rhian spying idk this is reminding me of agatha in her cockroach form

aladdin is so annoying. please don't call kyma your soulmate you are fifteen years old. kyma is so right stop thinking about yourself!!

SADER LORE... whose side are the brothers on? pretending not to see hook and kyma? exceptions to them aging ten years for pans? THEM TELLING HOOK TO GO TO SCHOOL?

"how much these two paying you?" "not enough." i laughed sorry mistral twins. pay your employees right!

MIDAS HAS GOLD POWERS??? ok maybe the name had a more obvious meaning. should have expected that

hephaestus and the pirate captain are such an iconic duo.

midas saving rafal was the obvious choice to be honest. which brother has been a manipulative lying asshole? not rafal! and his little speech about it being midas' choice was nice.

uniting the schools under pan huh? i see where tlea rafal got the idea from

aladdin ffs STOP being jealous of hook i'm pretty sure he has more love interests (cough. rhian and rafal. cough) than kyma??? and you have more important things to worry about???

rhian is. so evil. i see it now. literal snake

fala is back!!!!

midas has THREE school masters fighting over him. it's pretty easy to forget he's the First ever reader but that says something about him.

"what he'd assumed about himself had guided his actions, and because of his actions, his true nature had irrevocably changed." this is such a clever thing to say actually! the it's not who you are, it's what you do messaging is rly coming through.

the storian guiding pan... writing his story for him... and to HELP him... i could say a lot about destiny but i won't bc it wouldn't be coherent

midas :(

i'm becoming a rafal supporter tbh,,,

rafal & hook reunion! finally!

(can't only men be seers. anyway) sader family showdown!! the elders supporting rafal the boys supporting pan and marialena??

the storian "keeps [their] world alive with its tales"?? how??

RHIAN????????????????????? i mean it makes sense the evil school master but like. But Like. school years trilogy rafal?? what??

the saders having different visions Precisely because the divergence was necessary for the future to become reality. this says a lot about seers. they're not all-powerful nor all-knowing, they're just tools trying to enable the "best" future, the stable one, the one that doesn't result in what. death?

whose side are they on?? their own or this grand unknown destiny's??

midas having nothing but rafal. okay soman. OKAY.

BOTIC REALLY IS A LESSO??????????????????

so pan has the power to change the future? to get the story back?

pan's thoughts on free will vs a good life are actually pretty interesting.

marialena you SNAKE. but also her being evil and her family being good. the interaction between good & evil, and the seers who are seemingly above it. huh. but why would she support rhian... what is her big picture...

midas is being so soft with rafal i really. i'm becoming a midas supporter too i fear

ok rafal is still evil never mind

holy shit rhian just MURDERED a guy. he's plenty evil.

so what happens when both brothers are evil? by nature or by choice?

WHAT IS MARIALENA'S AIM.

midas :(((

how is botic a lesso. man is pathetic

"good always wins" rhian doesn't that go against your ENTIRE philosophy of balance

NOT THE GOLDEN ARROW it is NOT midas' fault.

the rafal -> hook -> kyma relationships. nice.

"his princess" no more aladdin!! yes!!

"when a lost boy serves his purpose, it's time for him to grow up. only there is no growing up in my world." that hits deep tbh.

MIDAS :(((( his lines about how he became more than a boy in gavaldon... how it's not The End... his belief in rafal to his last moments... rafal BETTER make this right

oh my god the gold. seriously. the entire school?

"two brothers, eternal once more" wow. AND WHO WAS THE GUY FROM THE FIRST SCENE. i doubt he's a sader but??

the tale of pan and pen?????

the concept of pans being good and their shadows being evil is v interesting especially when you remember that you kill pan by killing his shadow.

the evil always wins, it always destroys the balance. so the evil has to be eliminated by the storian. and that's why the shadow is the thing that has to be killed. wow.

SO THE MAN WAS A PAN. OKAY.

"a gold-soaked corpse ready to fly" soman rly did write quite a few good quotes in this book

"far from the tyranny of men" midas :( kyma :(

RHIAN JUST MURDERED HIM???? WTF??????? RAFAL???????????

rhian you bastard

how is he the school master

i mean i knew it made sense but. this is incredibly unsatisfying.

oh the pirate captain is blackbeard is he.

do they KNOW it's rhian?

uhh is he calling himself "deviant and perverse" for being. straight. i mean. okay i guess.

[dovelydraws]

Tell me abt your ocs 👁👁👁👁

oh GOD I have so many asldjfljk um!!!

I'll start with my dnd/pathfinder character Revun, since I've been posting about them a lot recently!! I'm no longer concerned about sharing spoilers because I got all my party members to block campaign spoilers hehe 💕

^ Made this little icon of them for discord recently (he/they/she)

The backstory doc i originally handed to my GM was over 5k words long, (plus there's also been several nights of me rambling in their dms expanding on all the stuff I'd Already Written) so I'm gonna try my best to. condense this lmao

Revun's bio parents were both human; their mom made a deal with a daemon while she was pregnant to save her father's life from a severe illness that would have killed him, and as a consequence of that her child was born a tiefling.

The social stigma of having a tiefling child (everyone just immediately knows she made some kind of deal with a fiendish entity) became too much for them to handle, so their mom and grandfather chose to abandon them four years after they were born, and start a new life elsewhere where no one knew them. Revun spent the next seven years in an orphanage, until they ran away to go try and join a mercenary group that passed through town at one point.

Throughout Revun's life, they've been haunted by a spirit in the shape of a black wolf with gold eyes that match their own. It only appears when they are in the middle of having a near death experience- so far, that's been twice. The first was when they were 11, and they nearly froze/starved to death out in the woods after running away. The second was after a disagreement with their boss/somewhat father figure lead to him nearly killing them at 25.

While Revun never learned all the details of their mom's deal, they at least are somewhat aware that whatever she did saved their grandfather's life. They are convinced at this point that whatever happened must have created some sort of imbalance in the afterlife or something, and this wolf was expecting a new soul that day that never came. And now, it's stalking Revun waiting for them to drop dead, to take them as a replacement like some sort of debt collector. I'm unsure if this is actually the case since I decided to leave the details up to my GM, but this is what Revun believes and they are absolutely terrified of it.

Speaking of that mercenary group, they did take them in and save them that night, but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Revun ended up spending the rest of their childhood in a pretty toxically masculine environment, and with an expectation placed on their shoulders to always follow orders and never try to argue, even if they may be uncomfortable or feel something was a bad idea.

A portion of the mercenary company was hired to act as bodyguards at a prestigious vineyard, of which had recently made some enemies with their business competition. Revun spent about a year and a half there, becoming very close friends with the winemaker's daughter, until the deal fell through and the company was offered more money to destroy the vineyard and kill the family/any workers on the property to make sure there were no witnesses. Revun nearly died getting their best friend to safety and trying to help any workers they could find, fighting against the only family they'd really had the chance to know.

They somehow managed to escape, and were found laying on the side of the road a couple miles away from the vineyard by some passing travelers, who were able to patch them up and drop them off at the next town. They'd been separated from everyone- their entire social safety net was gone, their worldview completely changed overnight. That was a Lot for them to handle, so they kind of just... Didn't.

They've decided to just try to move on, forget everything that happened and everyone that was ever important to them. Start a new life somewhere else. Don't think about it. Pretend it never happened.

All of this has ended up creating a guy with a lot of self loathing, abandonment issues, anxiety and paranoia, and a Very Stubborn "don't worry about it! :)" attitude.

I love them so much. They make me feel like this:

[iviarellereads]

Harrow the Ninth, Prologue

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Insectoid Herald icon) In which we are shown a lot of things that make us ask questions, and asked to be patient in the getting of answers.

A Note Up Front:

The Dramatis Personae of Gideon the Ninth was sometimes useful in keeping track of who was from which House. The DP of Harrow the Ninth might seem beside the point at first, given that only a few of the Lyctors still live. But, I'd recommend having a nice close look at it. See if anything stands out to you. Like for example, the way ORTUS the Ninth is capitalized. And how Harrow's cavalier's name is blacked out with layers and layers of printed letters. It will also be useful as different names come up, as the book progresses and we learn more about the history of God's inner circle. Also review the House poem, as it's been expanded some from Gideon's edition. Take every hint you can, with this book.

I often pitch Gideon the Ninth as a locked-house murder mystery. Harrow is much more complex, though the pitch I've found the most success with and the most positive feedback to is more or less, "Harrow the Ninth is like a popup Michelin-starred restaurant experience, only the food is served under total cover of darkness, and nothing that's served is what was on the menu up front, but somehow it's also exactly what it promised to be and exactly what you needed."

Try not to feel ashamed or frustrated if you don't understand the mysteries at play. You're not supposed to. There are hints, yes, and some of the things I gesture at in the text will be parts of that breadcrumb trail, but the wide experience of Harrow the Ninth is not understanding any of what's going on until the very end. It's the expected experience. I've seen different people piece together different pieces of the tangled web, but I've never seen anybody accurately guess what's coming until the proper reveals.

With that said:

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE EMPEROR'S MURDER(1)

Told in a mysterious second-person(2) which I'm going to flatten to third for my purposes, but I really do ask that you read each chapter before you read my summaries to get the full effect.

The room has been dark for some time, the thump of the Heralds flinging themselves onto the hull clearly audible. It's very cold, and a thin layer of frost covers Harrow's face and hair. Sometimes she screams, and she isn't even embarrassed anymore. It's just her body's reaction to the proximity.(3)

God's voice emerges from the comm, telling them it's ten minutes to breach. They'll have half an hour of air conditioning, then they'll "be working in the oven." He tells Harrow he'll keep hers closed longer, and Harrow staggers through the concentric circles of bone matter(4) she's laid out as her weapons to be to the comm button and snaps that she can take care of herself. He says her necromancy won't work in the River. She says she is a Lyctor, his hand, and if he wants a hand who needs to hide, she's misjudged him.

She hears the exhale of his sigh, and he tells her not to be in such a hurry to die. She says not to underestimate her, she's survived everything so far.

Harrow moves back to the middle of the room. She sits cross-legged, with her rapier in her lap, fighting the urge to throw it across the room.

The door slides open, and Ianthe the First(5) enters, without setting off Harrow's traps. Her rapier looks black, and the bones of her right arm(6) gleam an oily gold. Harrow closes her eyes to her. Ianthe says she would protect Harrow, if Harrow would only ask. Harrow gives some vivid descriptions of ghastly things she'd rather have done to her than to be protected by Ianthe. Ianthe, however, says hopefully that she hears a "maybe", and asks Harrow to stop being coy. Harrow says not to pretend that Ianthe is "here for anything other than to look after an investment."

Ianthe says she came to warn Harrow.

"You came to warn me?" Your voice sounded flat and affectless, even to you. "You came to warn me now?"

Ianthe approaches, crunching the bone circles.(7) Harrow can sense her fear, even without trying.

"Nonagesimus, nobody is coming to save you. Not God. Not Augustine.(8) Nobody." There was no mockery in her voice now, but there was something else: excitement, perhaps, or unease.(9) "You'll be dead within the first half hour. You're a sitting duck. Unless there's something in one of those letters(10) I don't know about, you're out of tricks."

Harrow feels Ianthe cup her chin in her hands, the flesh fingers almost feverish compared to the gilded bone ones, and is shocked into opening her eyes, not quite sure it's not a hallucination. Ianthe is before Harrow, "in unmistakable supplication." Her gaze is both beseeching and full of "contemptuous despair", her "blue eyes with deep splotches of light brown, like agate." Ianthe tells Harrow she can undo what Harrow has done, if she just turns around.(11) Together, at full power, they could "rip apart this Resurrection Beast and come away unscathed." Save the whole galaxy, let them weep to talk of Ianthe and Harrowhark.

"The past is dead, and they're both dead, but you and I are alive. What are they? What are they, other than one more corpse we're dragging behind us?"(12)

Harrow judges that Ianthe's expression is excitement, not unease, and senses that this is an important moment.

She tells Ianthe to go fuck herself.

Ianthe's face freezes back into a mocking mask.

"I didn't think this was the time for dirty talk, but I can roll with it," she said. "Choke me, Daddy."

Harrow tells Ianthe to get out. Ianthe says Harrow always was stubborn, and maybe she should have died at Canaan House. Harrow says Ianthe should have killed her sister, because her eyes don't match her face.

God's voice interrupts before Ianthe can retort, reminding them of the time, four minutes left, and make sure they're in their places.

Ianthe turns away from Harrow, trailing her "human fingers" across the wall as she walks back to the exit, and says, "Well, I tried, and therefore no one should criticize me,"(13) then ducks out of the room. Harrow is left "profoundly alone" as it starts to warm up.

She thinks about opening the envelope, addressed to herself, that reads "To open in case of your imminent death."

She calms herself as some distant part of the station gives a crunch of plex and metal. She cocoons herself in perpetual bone, foolish since it will dissolve when she submerges in the River, but still she adds layer after layer.

Throughout the Mithraeum, five pairs of eyes closed in concert, one of them yours. Unlike theirs, yours would not open again. In half an hour, no matter what Teacher(14) might hope, you would be dead.

The Lyctors and the Emperor start to submerge themselves in the River to face off with the Resurrection Beast. Harrow wades with them, but leaves her vulnerable meat behind.

"I pray the tomb is shut forever," you heard yourself saying aloud, and you could not bring your voice above a choked whisper. "I pray the rock is never rolled away. I pray that which was buried remains buried, insensate, in perpetual rest with closed eye and stilled brain. I pray it lives ... O corse of the Locked Tomb," you extemporised wildly. "Beloved dead, hear your handmaiden. I loved you with my whole rotten, contemptible heart--I loved you to the exclusion of aught else--let me live long enough to die at your feet." Then you went under to make war on Hell. * * * Hell spat you back out. Fair enough.

Harrow doesn't wake up in the River, on the other side of the veil. She wakes in the corridor outside her room, sweating, and... bleeding, her own rapier sticking out of her stomach, stuck from behind. The wound is not a hallucination, and Harrow is too far gone to knit it together with her magic. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't read the imminent death letter.

You were only half a Lyctor, and half a Lyctor was worse than not a Lyctor at all.

Outside, the Heralds of the Resurrection Beast are so thick they block the stars, and they're heating the ship far too effectively. Harrow hears distant swordfighting and flinches from a sound she's hated since birth.

You prepared to die with the Locked Tomb on your lips. But your idiot dying mouth rounded out three totally different syllables, and they were syllables you did not even understand.(15)

=====

(1) I hope you didn't think this was going to be a particularly happy story. (2) Not everyone knows what the perspectives are! So, there are three and a half perspectives to tell a story from. The first person is oneself, so the story is told in "I" pronouns. The second person is talking to the self, and is told in "you" pronouns. The third person is an outside observer, and uses third-person pronouns (she, they, he). The third person can also be "omniscient" (able to read everyone's thoughts and tell absolute truths), or "close" (as if sitting on one character's shoulder, only able to hear their thoughts and see through their perspective to some degree) or switch between the two if the writer feels particularly ambitious. Gideon the Ninth was told in third person close perspective, but Harrow… is a bit of a goodie bag of treats. For now, this is second-person, a story being told to a person, for some reason. If it unsettles you, I implore you to bear with it, as I think Muir really earns it out. If you have a guess as to why it's being told from this perspective on your first read, bravo, you're paying more attention than I did my first time. (Just don't get me started on the temporal tense of the narrative and how changing it can play with the perspectives, or we'll be here all day.) (3) The proximity of what exactly? Oh yes. We'll get there. (4) Protective circles are a long-established trope and I don't want anyone to miss the way they're invoked here, given what's to come. (5) This is still the same Ianthe, "the First" is just the honorary given to the Lyctors, as their ascension means inclusion in the Emperor's house, as his guard, his saints, his hands. See: the House poem in the front of the book. (Told you it would come in handy.) (6) Ah yes, the arm she lost in the battle with Cytherea. Golden bone sounds fun and very Third. And now you can look at a lot of Ianthe fanart spoiler-free! (7) Ianthe, violating the protective circle Harrow has laid out. Is this a deeper gesture, or something meaningless? I don't feel qualified to tell you without spoiling something but I'll note that I picked this out on my first read, and I still think it's interesting to think about. (8) Here, again, the Dramatis Personae. One of the remaining living Lyctors. To avoid this being a redundant footnote: why would Ianthe assume that Harrow would assume God or Augustine, in that order, would rescue her? Why would she not assume the others would? (9) I know which way I lean, knowing what I do of the rest of the book, but what about first time readers? (10) Letters, you ask? I know this is a lot being thrown at you. I promise, we'll get there. For now, another thing to keep in mind. (11) What has Harrow done? Yes at this point I'm sort of offering a list of the mysteries in the book more than I'm offering commentary in footnotes. (12) Who is the "they" in this context? (13) The memes return! This one is from a Saturday Night Live sketch with Daniel Radcliffe, from 2012. The sketch itself is… bad, it's bad, it's feeding into the same myth of millennials being over-praised that keeps proving itself wronger every year but still keeps on a-ticking, but the moment of this line has nevertheless become an iconic meme, used to make fun of people with too much confidence in their abilities. (14) Teacher? The dead multisoul construct from Canaan House? He did once say that he hoped the candidates would go on to call God their Teacher someday… (15) What could matter to Harrow that constitutes just three syllables to say? Why wouldn't she understand them?

[andthespidersfrommars]

this!!! I was thinking about the similarities between these two the other day, and besides the obvious likeness of how they are both very faith driven people who want to do good even with the hand they were dealt (crying), another comparable attribute is that they both have really good intuition and are able to recognise and understand a lot about the other crows that they don’t see themselves (in particular jesper, kaz and nina.)

also the religious aspects of their characters not only being shown as a constant reminder of how they both keep their integrity and continue believing in something better, but also their faith is brought into their physical renditions several times as a metaphor, to the point they have almost matching descriptions at times?

‘he looks like a painting, she thought, a saint wrought in gold leaf on the walls of a church, born to wield a sword of fire.’

—

‘she stood in the center of the tiled floor, framed by white and gold, like a gilded icon.’

and another thing??? nina saying “I should have killed him when I had the chance.” and matthias reply with “you showed mercy, nina. never regret that.” and inej telling kaz “you showed mercy, kaz. you were the better man."

like?? inej and matthias have both been through some truly horrific things that could have turned them away from their faith or made them more revenge driven, (like kaz or nina, who also both have massive similarities we really have to talk about more) but instead they have remained with strong morals even while being forced to do things they don’t agree with (matthias killing wolves, inej killing and stealing for the dregs, etc) and they still value things like showing mercy and having compassion and have almost identical lines about it.

and the way both nina and kaz asked them to stay with them WITHIN LIKE A COUPLE OF PAGES OF EACH OTHER (and it’s in similar context too, despite the contrast between inej replying that there wouldn’t be a point in staying in ketterdam with kaz bc he couldn’t give her a reason and she wants to find her family whereas matthias saying he would stay with her “and after. and always” and also that he would go to her country with her when she’s better, having turned his back on his ‘family’ and home to do so. how their answers differ on account of opposing factors, despite them still having a similar response in feelings. they are sooo)

he took her hand and kissed her knuckles gently. she winced, but when he tried to pull away, she clutched him tighter.

"stay," she panted. tears leaked from her eyes. "stay till the end."

"and after," he said. "and always.”

—

‘inej turned to go. kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. he didn't look at her. “stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. "stay in ketterdam. stay with me."

another aspect of their relationship is inej recognising the worry matthias has for nina that he doesn’t realise at the time himself, while matthias recognises the worry kaz has for her when she cant see it at all, reallyyyy neat

“maybe you're just not enough."

before he could reply, the bell on the bakery door jingled, and nina sailed inside, cheeks rosy, brown hair in a gorgeous tangle, and declared, "someone needs to start feeding me sweet rolls immediately."

for all matthias' grumbling, inej didn't think she imagined the relief on his face.’

—

“good," said kaz, but the answer didn't come as quickly as matthias might have expected.

he fears for her, matthias thought, and he does not like it. for once, he could sympathize with the demjin.’

(LIKE EXCUSE ME MATTHIAS UR EXACTLY THE SAME)

as well as them both seeing through jesper and not believing that he’s as happy and lighthearted as he makes it out to be 😭 inej’s “stop treating your pain like it's something you imagined. if you see the wound is real, then you can heal it.” and matthias saying “there are many kinds of sicknesses.”

as well as the obvious “they were twin soldiers” lines (marching on pretending they were fine vs destined to fight on different sides)

ANYWAY YES I LOVE THEM SM

Inej and Matthias both being the Crows with the strongest connections to religion and turning to that religion in hard times…..Inej and Matthias both doing what they feel they “need to do” but still having lines they won’t cross and being ‘held back’ by their own decency in a sense…..Matthias talking Nina down from killing Brum and the other Drüskelle while she’s high on parem…..Inej being Kaz’s anchor to his own humanity….. “They were twin souls, soldiers destined to fight for different sides” and “Inej felt as though she and Kaz had become twin soldiers”…….THE PARALLELS

[dankusner]

The 2nd time I interviewed TAMMY FAYE...

Because she's returning to daytime TV, Tammy Faye cancelled her "cabaret show" that was scheduled to stop in Dallas on Oct. 11.

MORE CHRISTIAN CONTROERSY

So-called gay icon Tammy Faye goes on record as 'disagreeing' with gay community, says Bible is against same-sex marriages

By DANIEL KUSNER | Oct. 3, 2003

In her new book, I Will Survive … And You I Will, Too! Tammy Faye Messner offers T-shirt-like slogans about overcoming hardships.

These cutesy little tidbits are called "Tammy-isms," which match her baby-voiced approach to life.

After a recent phone interview with the former Queen of the Electric Church, one Tammy-ism seemed to ring especially true:

"People are like tea bags — if you want to find out what's inside them, just drop them in hot water."

Ever since the RuPaul-narrated documentary The Eyes of Tammy Faye was released in 2000, Tammy Faye has become a queer icon by making appearances at a number of gay pride events.

In 2001, she charmed Dallasites as the star attraction at the rally in Lee Park following the Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade.

Wearing a black military-style jacket with gold fringe and a bright red wig, Tammy Faye told a story about a rainstorm erupting while visiting Disney World.

As the Disney employees handed out yellow waterproof jackets to everyone, Tammy Faye made a stunning observation — race, gender, color and sexual identity were suddenly invisible.

"That's how God sees us," she told everyone in Lee Park. "God sees all of us as if we are in a yellow raincoat."

Until very recently, Tammy Faye had always backed away from commenting on issues important to gays and lesbians, such as same-sex marriages.

But I Will Survive will probably startle many gay readers — especially anyone who heard her "little yellow raincoat" sermon.

In chapter 47: "The Gay Community," the First Lady of Televangelism recalls how she showed compassion by reaching out to a gay man dying of AIDS.

After the PTL scandal erupted, it was gay men who first reached out to a financially and emotionally depressed Tammy Faye.

"They helped pay my bills while Roe was in prison," she writes, noting that one gay fan gave her $10,000 — tax-free! "They sent me beautiful things — clothes, jewelry, flowers. They overwhelmed me with the love I no longer felt from the Christian community."

She returned the kindness by ministering in gay churches and attending AIDS benefits.

But Tammy Faye also writes that she doesn't "even pretend to understand the gay lifestyle," and when she discusses the Bible and sexuality that her gay friends "allow me to disagree with them."

With 35 years of experience on live television, sermonizing and singing, Tammy Faye has her act down to a science.

When she's not playing the tear-stained victim, it's hard not be won over by her sparkly wit and spunky demeanor.

But in a recent phone interview, she repeatedly flew into hysterics like the little girls from The Crucible — especially when it came to clarifying her beliefs on same-sex marriages and trying to figure out what her "disagreement" with gays and lesbians is all about.

"I don't think there should be gay marriages. I think that marriage is between a husband and wife. I think the Bible decided that many years ago. I feel sorry for the gay people, but I think that there can never really be a marriage between gay people. That's just my opinion and a billion other people's," she says.

Does the Bible actually say anything against marriages between people of the same gender?

"I just think that that is not how God meant it to be — as far as getting married. I know people who have lived together forever but they didn't take it as far as getting married. They just lived together and loved each other and cared about each other," she says.

As the interview continued, Tammy Faye shows her agitation by launching into a hyper-shrill response that almost seems rote, and she constantly repeats that she doesn't want to "argue."

Instead of commenting further on gay marriages, she offers "You can read it in the Bible yourself, honey."

Isn't she a preacher?

Isn't it her job to proclaim the gospel?

"Well, what do you think?" she throws the question back into my lap.

I explain that I'm trying to figure out Tammy Faye's message for gay people regarding salvation.

Is her philosophy "love the sinner, hate the sin?" I ask.

"I don't have a message. I tell them to read their Bibles and seek the Lord. That's exactly what I tell them. And I'm not going any further on it," she says.

Why does discussing this topic upset her so much?

"Because it's all I ever get asked about," she says.

Gay people have been asking her these questions?

"I'm not saying gay people — I'm asked by the straight people about this all the time," she says. "I am trying to bring the gay world and the church world together. So that they love each other and care for each other and realize that the gay people are wonderful people and they should be allowed in the churches."

Is it "gay sex" that she thinks is sinful?

"Listen, if it were me, I would never be gay because I'm a heterosexual. I don't understand it at all. I think that the gay community and I — we have agreed to disagree. And everywhere I go, we talk about this. And they say, 'Well, Tammy, that's fair,"' she explains.

"The gay community knows I have a disagreement. I got right on Larry King and I told him, 'The gay people and I have agreed to disagree. I am heterosexual. I do not understand the homosexual life. But I agree to disagree with them and I love them. And we're going to work together.'"

When it comes to being gay, what is it that she doesn't understand?

"Listen, this interview is over. And I'm sorry it didn't go better than this," she says before she hangs up the phone.

Tammy Faye was scheduled to bring her "cabaret show" to Dallas in mid-October, but those plans have been scrapped because she's planning to bring Tammy's House Party back as a daytime talk show in 2004.

In the meantime — since these questions are constantly haunting her — maybe she can come up with a more poignant response in reconciling her fundamentalist beliefs with the gay community.

[nadja-antipaxos]

Chapter 2: she drives me crazy - december 2012

Previously - Chapter 1 || Masterlist || Next - Chapter 3

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: swearing, alcohol drinking, action-style violence, brief trauma from fight, a kiss, sexual tension

Note: Hope you enjoy it! Thank you. Please leave a comment or some kind of feedback if you'd like.

Word Count: 14,025 (so sorry this one and the next are the longest)

It’s 7:15 am on December 18th, Nicolette takes the final bite of her bagel and turns off the coffee machine. A holographic screen pops up next to her letting her know she has a visitor. A tall man with black aviators, a dark baseball cap, a grey hooded sweatshirt, and a black leather jacket stands with his hands shoved into his jean pockets. He has a blue backpack slung over his shoulder. Captain Steve Rogers looks like the world’s worst 21 Jump Street agent. She groans and puts on a silk robe to cover her nightgown.

“I know Tony’s not dead.” Nicolette presses her hands into the doorframe, blocking Steve’s way in. “So, why are you here?”

“You’re his sister. He wants you to be safe.” Steve didn’t think he’d have to convince her.

“Okay, soo by this logic—the Mandarin killed Tony, but to hurt him even more, he’s going to kill his little sister after he’s dead?”

“It’s a precaution. We talked about this before the Mandarin. Natasha and I work in DC like you, so it makes sense.”

“Then where’s Natasha?”

“She has a mission.”

“And you don’t?”

“Fury agreed you should be kept safe.”

“This is so stupid.”

“Can I come in?”

“Having a hard time protecting me from the hallway?”

“Please?”

“Fine.” She steps back and lets him inside.

He hangs by the door, in a way he thinks is polite, but she finds it annoying.

“Take a seat. Look around. Or don’t.” Nicolette waves her hand and walks away.

Steve sets his backpack on a chair at the kitchen table in her small, but up-to-date kitchen which leads into the living room. There’s no artwork of herself or narcissistic awards like at the Avengers Tower. In fact, except for a few touches like a ceramic, sky blue elephant on the end table, an interesting shelf shaped like a hexagon, and some tulips, it’s very minimalist. There’s a book of French Impressionists on the coffee table next to a steaming mug. All the photos on the mantle are personal, not professional. With the lack of magazine covers, he wonders if she really is a Stark. She doesn’t even have photos of herself on her own. They’re all of her with Tony, Pepper, the same two very beautiful women, or an impossibly tall blond man. He spots the one of her, Tony, and Happy all in sunglasses with their arms folded, pretending to be serious. In another, she’s sticking her tongue out while Tony points to her Harvard diploma.  She clears her throat and Steve puts the picture down on the mantle.

“Here.” She hands him a cup of coffee. ” I don’t know how you take your coffee.”

“Black, so it’s perfect. Thank you.” He looks down at the cup then back up at her.

She has her hair pulled back in a bun and wears a yellow sweater with a black skirt with gold buttons running up the side. She looks incredibly professional while glaring at him.  She throws herself in a chair, so he sits across from her on the couch.

“The famous Captain America gets to play fucking babysitter.” She sighs and picks up her mug from the table.

“You know, women didn’t really talk like that in the ’40s.”

“Maybe not to you. I know for a fact my nana cursed more than I do.” She looks him up and down. “Don’t worry about my mouth, Captain Steve.”

His eyes fall on her lips, now that she said that, and he notices her nude lipstick. He realizes he should say something, but his throat is dry. He swallows hard.

“I’m not interested in deflowering an American icon. Unless I’m too late?”

Her blue eyes sparkle with mischief and his face gets hot. Starks are nosy.

“What the what?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Who popped your cherry?”

“No one.”

“I figured there was a line out the door, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it. Was this when you were all ‘Extra Extra! We have to fight the Nazis! It’s our boy, Captain America. C’mon, gals, make him a man!’” Her voice deepens and picks up speed like an old newsreel announcer.

Steve wants to laugh but doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction, so he scoffs.

“The USO tour! Lots of time on the road with  ladies.” Her eyes widen.

He takes a drink of coffee. She rests her chin on her hand and studies him.

“And they had those rocket bras, right? I never got that. Let me poke your eye out with my tits.”

Steve rubs his temples. She is impossible. Why am I always fighting with Starks?

“WWII dude shortage, one super-soldier, and horny ladies equal—” She clicks her tongue and points at him. “—punched V-card.”

This time, Steve can’t hide his laughter, so he just raises his mug over his mouth.

“You’re laughing! I won!”

“Miss Stark, I’m not talking about this.” He can’t look her in eyes but focuses on a spot behind her.

“Please tell me you didn’t pay for it.”

“Oh my god!” Steve nearly spits out his coffee onto her carpet.

“Hey, I love sex workers, but I’m sure women are willing to drop their panties at the sight of you.” She tilts her head back and pretends to swoon. ”Oh, Captain America, show me the meaning of the stars and stripes.”

“How are you worse than Tony?”

“It’s no biggie. My first was my ex, Ben. It’s sex.”

“I didn’t need to know that.” Steve knows he’s all red from how much his cheeks are burning.

“God, you’re such a prude.” She shakes her head. “Lemme guess, you lasted 5 minutes?”

Steve buries his face in his hands.

“Aww, it’s okay, buddy. You’ll get better the more you practice.” She chuckles, enjoying every second of this.

“Where is your bathroom?” He stands up.

“That way. First right.” She points her finger.

She hears the door shut and smirks. That was way too easy. She rushes down the stairs and goes outside. She locks up with her phone—something Tony created when she first moved in. She starts her walk down the street when she hears an exaggerated throat clearing. It’s Steve. He has an “I’m not mad. I’m disappointed” look on his face that makes her roll her eyes. He’s such a pain in the ass.

“Where are you going?”

“A bar mitzvah. What do you think? I’m going to work. It’s my last day before we close for Christmas.”

“Everyone thinks Tony’s dead. If you walk in there like everything’s fine, it might tip off the Mandarin.” He speaks softly in her ear.

“Shit.” She breathes.

Her brow furrows as the gears turn in her head.

“I really just need to drop off some files.” She lifts the USB drive on her keychain.

Steve nods and lets her lead the way to her office. It’s a very quick walk, so he can see why she chose that apartment building. She’s very fast and weaves in and out of the pedestrians which makes it a little annoying to follow her.

Despite the fact it’s barely 8 am, a swarm of reporters is waiting for her at the door. Microphones are shoved in her face.

“Are you going to California?”

“Did Tony say any last words?”

“Are you going to take over Stark Industries with Pepper Potts?”

“How do you feel about your brother’s death?”

Nicolette shrinks back as the lenses snap every frame of her surprised expression. Immediately, Steve puts himself between her and the reporters. She keeps her head down and he guides them inside, shutting the door on the press.

“You okay?” He asks when they get in the elevator.

“Fine.” She hits the button.

“Do reporters usually bother you like that?” He looks over at her.

“Nope. Perks of being the accident child.” She folds her arms across her chest. “I made myself as boring as possible, so no one gives a shit.”

The doors open and she walks through.  Apparently, his disguise actually works because no one approaches him. He just stands a few feet away with broad shoulders rolled back and his hands folded across his expansive chest. Immediately, her supervisor, Colleen rushes over to her. She’s a tall, wisp of a woman with black hair. She moves in like she wants to hug Nicolette, but doesn’t. She’s not that kind of person.

“Oh, Nicolette, I’m so sorry about your brother.”

“Well, uh, he’s not—they’re still investigating.”

“It’s good to be positive.”

“I have the updated discovery and the briefs you needed. I didn’t wanna wait till after New Year’s.”

“What would I do without you? Let’s go to my office.”

“I’ll be right back.” She tells Steve. Colleen looks at her. “Security detail.”

“I see.”

Nicolette comes back and gives Steve a nod.

“I have my cell if you need me, Colleen. Merry Christmas.” Nicolette says before walking out a different door. There are no reporters this time and she breathes a sigh of relief.

Steve stays behind her keeping an eye on everything around him with his heightened senses. No one notices them. The wind picks up and she adjusts the scarf on her neck as they keep walking. Her skin burns pink from the cold. Once inside her building, she goes up to the front desk.

“Hi, Mark. This is...Frank Farmer. Can we get him a guest pass?”

“Sure thing, Miss Stark.”

She leans over the desk and fills out some paperwork then hands it back to the security guard. She hands Steve the pass and he follows her inside the elevator.

“Frank Farmer?”

“You’ve never seen the Bodyguard?”

“No.”

“How did you get in earlier?”

“I work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“I work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”  She mimics childishly.

She uses her phone to unlock the door and walks in. She takes off her scarf, coat, and gloves and hangs them on the coat rack. He follows her to the small study off of the living room. There’s a large bookcase covering the wall, a green banker’s lamp, a framed poster of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and her Harvard Law diploma on the wall.

“So, what’s the plan here? I’m supposed to go to my friend Jordan’s place in New York.”

“Unfortunately, Miss Stark, you need to stay here.”

“Tony threatens a terrorist and my Christmas gets ruined. You got a shift schedule with the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents?”

“It’s just me.”

“You and I stuck here? You fucking serious?”

“For your safety. It’s not a punishment.” Steve stares at her, realizing he’s moving closer to her as the argument escalates.

“I’m not a goddamn child or some damsel in distress. I don’t need this.” Nicolette’s all in his space. He knows she’s a foot shorter than him, but she’s very angry.  Her eyes narrow and her jaw clenches. If looks could kill…

“After what happened to Hogan—”

“I gotta make a call. Or you gonna watch me while I do that too?”

“No.”

“Great. Do whatever you want. Watch TV. Stare at 21st-century cars on the balcony. I don’t really care. You can put your shit upstairs in the guest room."

Steve nods and walks out, shutting the door behind him. She’s so frustrating. She’s the most frustrating woman he’s ever met. She’s being a brat because she isn’t getting her way for her safety. Maybe he should’ve gone to Ibiza and let Natasha watch her. He looks at the television and then at the balcony. It would be good to get some fresh air.

Nicolette stares at the door and takes her phone out of her purse. She quickly cancels her flight and pays the late cancellation fee. Unlike Tony, she doesn’t like flying private for every single trip.

Jordan Rosa (8:31 am)

Hey lady. Saw you on the news.

Lucy Anderson (8:31 am)

CALL US NOW!

Dylan Sparrow (8:31 am)

Hope you’re ok <3. Boarding flight. See you soon!

She sighs and dials, putting the phone up to her ear. She’s glad Tony created that secure server, so she doesn’t have to worry about her calls being monitored.

“Hey.” Nicolette throws herself in her chair.

“Hey, babe,” Jordan says in a tone that lets her know she’s smiling.

“Hey, sweetie. Are you okay?” Lucy’s voice is already dripping with sweetness. It’d be annoying if it wasn’t so genuine.

“This day fucking sucks.” Nicolette puts her legs up on her desk.

“I’m sorry they camped out at your office like that.” She can hear the frown in Lucy’s voice.

“Are you going to the airport soon?” Jordan asks.

“No.” Nicolette lowers her voice.” Get this, I’m grounded. Being babysat by an Avenger.”

“Dylan’s gonna whine about this.” Jordan’s voice sounds very similar to something like whining.

“Who’s with you? Natasha? The Hulk? Thor? Bow and arrow guy?” Lucy lists them off so rapidly that her Chicago accent blends some bits together.

“You forgot one. Steve fucking Rogers.”

“So you’re trapped in your apartment with Captain America?”

“Don’t sound so delighted, J. He has such a stick up his ass. It’s the worst.”

“Maybe he’ll feel better once you take that super-soldier dick for a ride.”

“Jesus, Jordan!” Nicolette tips back and falls out of her chair. She lands on her side on the carpet.

The door opens and she sees Steve standing above her, upside down. He’s staring and she’s just staring right back.

“Are you okay, Miss Stark?” He reaches for her, but she swats his hand away.  She stands up on her own and sits back down. Steve really wants to help, but she won’t even let him fix her chair. She’s relentlessly stubborn.

“I’m fine. My friend is an idiot,” she yells into the phone.

“You’re sure?”

“Common hazard of being a shorty. I’m fine.”

He nods and walks out, shutting the door.

“You’re so mean to him, Nikki.” Lucy coos.

“Whatever. He can handle it.” Nicolette rolls her eyes.

“God, that voice. I’m wet already.” Jordan’s practically drooling.

“Stop it. You’re not helping.”

“You don’t think he’s cute, Nic?” Lucy asks.

“He’s basically like an overprotective dad. He gives this stupid look every time I swear. It’s ridiculous.”

“Send me a pic.”

“No.”

“Remember all that Captain America stuff we found in your dad’s office?”

“The poster you stole?”

“Got me through junior year. That and Tyra Banks.”

“Gross. You were getting off to a dead guy.”

“Who is actually very much alive and could fuck you right now.”

“He’s a human being. Not a sex toy.”

“A human sex toy.”

“Seriously, he may look hot, but he’s the most boring man in the universe.”

“Mmm, sexual tension. Merry Christmas to you.”

“Nikki. Jor. I can’t take much more of this.”

“I’m just saying if your plans have changed they should include getting the most patriotic dick in America.”

“I’m hanging up.” Lucy threatens.

“Listen, there should be some condoms leftover in the guest room from when you were in Tokyo in May.”

“Really? When you were house sitting? That’s why you had my sheets sent out?”

“Maybe.”

“Please stay safe. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

 “And have safe sex.”

“J, I’m gonna kill you. I’ll be fine. Tony’s the only Stark anyone cares about.”

“We love you, Nikki.”

“You too, even though Jordan’s a pervert.”

“I’m your favorite pervert. Love you, lady.”

“Love you. Merry Christmas.”

“Maybe we’ll see you for New Year’s? Dylan’s gonna be so upset if you miss Christmas and New Year’s.”

“Yeah, maybe. Keep your phones on. I’m gonna be bored.”

“Only if you send shirtless pics of your bodyguard.”

“Bye.” Nicolette shakes her head.

Once she’s off the phone, she presses her face into the desk. The wood is cold and she takes a deep breath trying to soothe her pounding head. She was supposed to spend Christmas Eve with her friends and then see Tony on Christmas Day. It’s all gone to shit now. Natasha had told her about the mandated psychological evaluations that they all took. Tony refused his. Nicolette suggested a private therapist and he laughed it off. Then Happy got hurt and he threatened a terrorist with global access to explosives. She hates seeing what could be his last moments on CNN. When he was kidnapped. When he fell out of a wormhole in New York. Now the remnants of the Malibu house floats in the ocean. But he survived. He’s alive. He’s in hiding and she has no idea where, but he’s alive. She sobs until she can’t cry anymore and everything fades away.

“Outta my way!” Nicolette rushed past the different soldiers. “My brother just escaped terrorists, you fuckwits.”

“She’s been under a lot of stress.” Pepper chuckled.

Nicolette practically skidded on the pavement when she stopped in front of Tony. He was considerably thinner with cuts on his face. She swallowed hard as her eyes linger at the blue sling on his arm.  It hurt to look at him.  She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and he blinked back tears. In true Stark fashion, she cracked a smile.

“Thank God, I am not CEO material.”

“C’mon, another Stark CEO at 21?”

Nicolette shook her head and put her small arms around him.

“You asshole.” Nicolette laughed.

“Your favorite asshole.” He wasn’t sure he was gonna see her again.

“Always.” She rested her head on his shoulder.  

Right away, they got in the car because Tony’s on a mission. She looked back at him from the passenger’s seat.  She watched as Pepper and Tony argued in their usual way. He was really there.

“Can I get a frozen Coke?” She put her chin on top of the headrest.

“See, Pip gets it.” He winked at her.

Steve doesn’t hear anything in the study for a while, so he puts down the book on French impressionists and goes to check on her. She’s asleep with her face on the desk. He wants to move her to a more comfortable spot, but she’s not yelling at him if she’s asleep. He stands awkwardly, debating, and accidentally kicks her door. She lifts her head.

“Light sleeper.” She mumbles. She tries to get to her feet, but her leg is numb. She staggers back urging her leg to move. Steve steadies her before she falls on the floor. God, his hand covers her entire shoulder making him feel like a giant.

“Why don’t you get some rest upstairs?” He suggests.

Maybe it’s because she’s half-awake, but she nods without any snarky comment. When Steve helps her up, he’s reminded of how small she is. It was the first thing he noticed about her back in July. He could lift her and she’d probably weigh nothing. Instead, he puts his hand on the small of her back as she moves up the short staircase.

“There.” She points to the bedroom at the end of the hallway.

He guides her to her room. His touch pulses through her skin because he’s so warm. It’s like he has a constant fever. It’s weird. There’s a big bed with lilac-colored sheets in the center of the room and a large painting of “Monet’s Water Lilies and the Japanese Bridge” hanging above it. He can see the bathroom door in the corner and her closet on the opposite corner. She holds onto his arm as she kicks off her heeled boots. She could be holding onto a statue at this point. Is he made of marble?  Her hand barely covers his elbow, he notices, before she rips back the duvet. She tucks herself in and he thinks she looks like a little doll in a child’s playset. He nods and shuts the door. She must be exhausted because she goes right back to sleep.

“Just say it, Pip.”

“What in the fuck, dude?”

“I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want any more blood on my hands.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You thought that the weapons you made would just magically stay in the hands of our troops? Where have you been? Drunk? Or are you that naive?” Her eyes narrowed.

“You wanna keep killing people as long as it lines our pockets?” Tony tossed up the hand that wasn’t in the sling. He was getting angry with her.

“I wanna sleep at night, Tone. You ever wonder why I won’t work for the family business?” She sighed, exasperated.

“Then why are you mad at me?” His voice got quiet.

“I’m worried about you.” The tears flooded her eyes.

“I’m okay. I’m here.” He leaned forward and touched her hand.

“You’re all I’ve got.” Her lip trembled as she held back tears.

“I’m not going anywhere, Pip.” He squeezed her hand.

Nicolette wakes up and her bedroom is dark. She sits up and sighs. Her hair has fallen out of its bun and her makeup is ruined from all that crying. It’s 5 pm. She slept the day away and she’s still drained. She hears a sound in the hallway and remembers her guest. Great. What an annoying night this is going to be.

Steve hears featherlight footsteps on the stairs. He turns his head and sees Nicolette with long, wet dark hair, a red candy cane sweatshirt that reads “I’m Not Short I’m Just A Tall Elf”, and black leggings. The shirt makes him chuckle and he wonders who got it for her. God, she’s so naturally pretty.  He catches the thought immediately and pushes it out of his mind. It’s just then that it dawns on him that they’re completely alone. He can count the times he’s been alone with a woman on one hand. He remembers vividly running away from the dancers who would break into his hotels on the road. He has the distinct feeling Nicolette wouldn’t break into any room of his even if it was on fire and he was passed out from smoke inhalation.

“Hi.” He clears his throat.

“Hi.” She moves into the kitchen and gets a glass of water. “You want something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine.” He lifts his glass.

“Vodka or water?” She arches an eyebrow.

“Water.” He says flatly.

“Of course.” She sighs and sits down at the opposite end of the couch.

There are quite a few books on her coffee table that she recognizes from her study like the 1818 edition of Frankenstein, Sharp Objects, The Meaning of Freedom and Women, Culture & Politics both by Angela Davis, If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho, and Gone Girl.

“Enjoying yourself?” She smirks.

“I didn’t wanna wake you with the television. I hope this was okay.”

Nicolette tilts her head. Of course, it was okay.

“Where are you gonna start?”

“Oh, I finished them all.”

She stares at him.

“I like reading. I finished the Impressionists book you have.” He lifts it off the coffee table.” Then went from there.”

Her lips curl into the tiniest smile at how earnest he is.  He just took 6 weeks of a gender studies course in an afternoon.

“Do you like pizza?”

Nicolette allows Steve to answer the door. She stays in the kitchen per his request and grabs the vodka from the freezer. It could be a bludgeoning vodka or drinking vodka—either way it’s gonna work.

“I was gonna say it’s clear.” Steve looks at her and sets the boxes down on the counter.

“Hey, this could be a weapon.” She untwists the cap and goes about making herself a martini. She grabs two plates and hands one to him grazing her knuckles on his.

“Ladies first.” He raises his eyebrows.

“Vodka first.” She knocks back her drink in a few gulps much to his surprise. She throws some slices on her plate and makes another martini. “You want one?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Wait!”

She runs over to the fridge and pulls out a beer. She likes it sometimes, but Jordan loves beer. She hands it to him proudly. His large hand nearly swallows hers when he takes it.

“Thanks.” He laughs. He follows her back to the couch but puts a serious room between the two of them. She’s on her second piece when he finishes the entire pizza. No wonder they ordered four.

“Well, shit.” Nicolette leans back against the couch to just watch.

“My metabolism is four times faster than yours.” He feels his cheeks burn.

“That’s fun for you, huh?” She sips her drink.

“I wouldn’t say fun.” He shrugs.

“Fascinating.”

“Are you gonna eat?”

“And miss this?”

Steve gives her a look, so she puts her drink down.

“Fine, fine.” She bites into her piece.

She doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable about eating. Being old? Yes. Being boring? Yes. Being embarrassed about sex? Yes. Eating? No. He ends up eating another pizza and she has about three slices. She keeps her comments to herself while flipping through channels.

“You sure I can’t get you anything stronger? I have whiskey.”

“It wouldn’t do any good. I can’t get drunk.”

“Aww, that’s so sad.”

“It’s fine.”

“So even if you wanted to—you can’t. Aww, Captain Steve. I’m gonna drink for you then.”

Nicolette looks so heartbroken it makes him laugh. She can’t help but think what a beautiful smile he has. His teeth are perfect. Is that a dimple? Look at the muscles in his neck. The way his stomach muscles tighten when he laughs ain’t bad either. Shut up, vodka.

“Oh my god!” She squeals.

“What?”

“The Bodyguard is on!”

“Is it good?”

“Not at all. It’s so bad. We have to watch it and we’re gonna make fun of it.”

Steve chuckles at how excited she is. At least now he’ll understand the reference she made earlier. He hasn’t really watched bad movies intentionally, but it’s fun. He lets her set the rhythm of snide comments and finally joins in because the security tactics are ridiculous.

“He jumped at the car and didn’t even get anywhere near it. What was the point of that?”

“Because the movie is stupid!”

“She has an amazing singing voice.”

“Oh yeah, Whitney was one of the best. She died earlier this year.”

“That’s sad.”

The alcohol starts to wear on Nicolette and she feels more tired. She pulls her knees into her chest. She makes it to the end of the movie, but barely.

“No funny stuff, Captain Steve.”

“What funny stuff?”

She pokes her finger in and out of the hole she’s made with her other hand.

“My god.”

“Just saying. I’m not asking you on any dates.”

“That’s fine.”

“And no one is falling in love or getting shot.”

“Good plan.”

“C’mere.”

“Yeah?” Steve just looks at her.

“C’mere. C’mere. C’mere. I wanna tell you a secret.” She keeps waving until he’s sitting next to her. “Nic wouldn’t want you to know this, but she’s actually pretty worried. Tony’s all she’s got.”

Steve looks her over. It’s the first time he’s seen her be serious. Her hair has dried into soft waves and her big blue eyes are glassy from drink. He can see all the different shades of blue in her eyes. Her eyebrows are knitted together with concern. He can feel her breath on his face. She’s so close.

“I’m gonna make sure nothing happens to her.”

“You’re not so bad, Cap’n Crunch.”

Steve chuckles and gathers up the dishes. He cleans and puts everything away. When he comes back to the couch, she’s fast asleep. He grabs the blanket off the top of the couch to cover her. He shuts off the television and moves into one of the chairs before falling asleep.

Nicolette wakes up to the sun shining right through the window. Why is she sleeping on the couch? She looks over to the armchair and sees the sleeping form of Captain Steve Rogers reclining in it. She’s so surprised her heart nearly jumps out of her chest.

“Oh, shit!” She yelps and falls off the arm of the couch onto the floor. She lands on her side and hisses. Right, he’s her bodyguard and she had a lot of martinis. She isn’t hungover—she just forgot. She’s not used to Avengers sleeping in her living room.

“Miss Stark! Are you all right?” Steve asks, looming over her.

“Yep. Just getting to know my carpet choice.” She huffs, blowing the hair out of her face. “Soft. Durable. I made a good pick.”

She presses the heel of her palms into the said carpet and gets to her feet. She bows like she just performed a trick. He shakes his head.

“Wanna get breakfast?” She covers her yawn with her hand.

“You don’t have some robot to bring it to you?” He looks around, waiting for a lady J.A.R.V.I.S.

“Small staff.” She points to herself. “We can get a good spot at Betty’s. C’mon.”

Steve follows her up the stairs. She points to the first door on the right.

“Bathroom. And then the bedroom is next to it. I’ll be right down.”

Steve has a slight variation of his outfit from yesterday—jeans, sweater, and leather jacket. Aside from his input about the uniform with Howard, he’s more into function than fashion. That’s not Nicolette at all. She has on a blue sweater dress, black tights, and grey high-heeled boots that reach her thighs. Not that he’s looking at her thighs. They’re just very tall boots on a small person.

“You ready?” She asks, hands folded across her chest.

Steve nods and walks to the door. He almost grabs her coat for her, but he isn’t sure how she’d react to that. She’s been nicer than yesterday, but it might be a fluke.

On the walk to the restaurant, the different shops and restaurants are playing Christmas music. Steve really hasn’t spent a lot of effort on holidays. He woke up last October and since then, he’s been reckoning with missing out on so much time. It didn’t mean playing popular culture catch up.  Nicolette clearly knows her Christmas music. She does a little jump every time she likes a particular song before she starts to sing along. She seems to know every word and clearly loves music which is very cute. However, it slows them down and he’s not too keen on that. So far, there’s one about wanting someone to come home on Christmas which sounds rather sad, but the music isn’t, another about hula hoops that music be sung by children with squeaky voices, and one where a woman’s clearly seducing Santa for presents.

When they get to the restaurant, it’s not very busy with mostly single patrons and one group of three guys who look extremely hungover hunched over their coffees. Nicolette points to a table. Steve sees one of the men perk up at the sight of her, but either she doesn’t notice or she’s pretending as she slides into her booth. Steve sits down and can hear them talking about her. It’s not respectful in the slightest. They’re unsure which one of them should talk to her.

“Hey, baby,” one finally says.

Nicolette crosses her legs and ignores them, pretending to look at her phone. Okay, she does notice.

The waitress comes over with new table settings. She drops some silverware, so Nicolette hops up to help her.

“Oh, I’ve got it.” She shakes her head.

“I don’t mind.” Nicolette shrugs and hands her the ones that have touched the floor.

The guys don’t even hide the fact they’re checking her out. One even leans over to see if he can get a glance down the front of her dress. Steve clenches his fist and has half a mind to go over there.

“Damn, girl.” The guy grins.

The waitress thanks her and goes to put the dirty silverware away. Nicolette covers her mouth in an exaggerated yawn at the men.

“Not interested.” She sits back down.

“Just one smile. For Christmas.” Their leader pouts.

“Oh.” She flips them off with both hands. “Merry Christmas. Now, shut up and leave me alone.”

“Don’t need to be such a bitch, babe.” He laughs and nudges one of the guys.

Nicolette shakes her head at Steve who is ready to pounce.

“Just ignore them.” She props up her menu to block her vision of them. She looks over the options and it doesn’t take her long to realize she wants pancakes.

The waitress returns and Nicolette orders pancakes with a side of bacon. Steve orders a special that comes with three eggs, bacon, two pieces of toast, and fruit.  Thankfully, the most annoying patrons leave when the waitress stops by with their coffees.

“Thank you for your help earlier, darlin’.” She smiles.

“No worries.” Nicolette returns the smile.

“Your food should be up soon.” She nods and walks away.

“I’m sorry about those guys.” Steve takes a sip from his coffee.

“I wouldn’t be able to do my job if I couldn’t handle a man calling me a bitch.” Nicolette adds sugar in the raw to hers and a splash of milk.

He frowns. He still isn’t comfortable chatting up women, but he can’t fathom being that cruel. She told them flat out she wasn’t interested. How fragile were their egos?

He leans against the wall and sees more families come in. Nicolette notices his stoic expression and presses her much smaller shoulder into the wall. She narrows her eyes and checks out the different patrons.

“She’s very suspicious.” She nods to the toddler in the Cinderella sweater.

Steve raises his eyebrows slightly. He’s getting a little better at telling when she’s actually angry at him and when she’s just being playful. He believes this is the latter.

The waitress drops off their food and Nicolette makes her laugh.  She clearly has no problem talking to anyone. Tony is arrogant and cocksure because he needs adoration to fill some kind of hole. Nicolette doesn’t seem to need anything from anyone. She’s comfortable in her own skin in a way Steve’s never been. He’s a little jealous. Almost like she’s reading his mind, she moves her shoulders to the Christmas song playing above them in her own little world.

“C’mon, nothing?”

“I don’t know this.”

“It’s Stevie Wonder.”

“Is he good?”

“My god.” She puts her hand over her chest and gasps.

Steve sighs and picks up his fork.

They eat in awkward silence with her occasionally humming the song on the radio. When they get the bill, she pulls out her card before he’s able to do anything. She leaves a large cash tip before they walk out. She moves quicker on their walk back.

“You know, I haven’t seen the tree yet. Have you?”

“No.”

“Big touristy attraction’s safe, right?”

“Most likely.”

“We can take my car.”

“Good cause I need my shield.”

“So you can look like a spangly turtle?”

“Not exactly. Tony made something for it—helps it blend in.”

“Aw, I wanted to see it in all its dorky glory.”

She gives him a look and he’s sure—pretty sure—she’s kidding.

They go straight to the garage. Her car is a dark blue Audi sedan with black leather seats. It doesn’t seem to have all the bells and whistles like the cars Tony drives. He sets his shield in the backseat. She drives to President’s Park and finds a parking space. He takes out the shield and straps it to his back. He presses down on the button on the back of the shield and a metal case appears over it. Before Nicolette can comment, the case goes invisible. It definitely blends in now.

“So if you hit that button on accident—”

“It needs a specific amount of pressure before the case comes on.”

“Tony thinks of everything, I guess.” She shrugs and bounds ahead of him with excitement.

The tree is enormous and beautiful with all the intricately placed lights.  She smiles wide just looking at it.

“Christmas is your favorite holiday?”

“And Halloween.”

“Halloween? Isn’t it for kids?”

“There’s adult Halloween. Costumes. Drinks. Dancing.”

“Sounds like trouble.”

“Lots.”

She sings along again to the music playing and spins around. This time it’s a song about snow being like marshmallows. He hasn’t gotten used to this yet. Her voice is beautiful. He just isn’t used to people being so…joyful.

“Can you take a pic of me in front of the tree?” She hands him her phone. “It’s this button.”

Steve nods. She throws her arms around the tree like she’s hugging it which makes him chuckle. In the next one, she puts her hands right over her mouth like she’s in disbelief at how great the tree is. She comes back and looks through the photos.

“These are great, thanks. My ladies wanted to know what I was up to.”

“Your ladies?”

Her thumb swipes through the photos until she lands on one of her laughing with the same two women from the photos at her apartment.

“Jordan and I went to high school together.” She zooms in on the tall brunette with big brown eyes and a permanent smirk “She’s an actress.” Then she enlarges the photo of the petite brunette with stunning porcelain doll features. “Lucy’s a journalist. We met in college. Instant drunk girl in the bathroom bonding. Tony says we’re the Brunette Army.”

“It’s nice you’re all so close.”

She thinks about it for a moment. She could tell him Jordan wanted her to sleep with him.  That’d prove how nice she was. He’d go all red which would be hilarious, but she decides to keep it to herself. She chews her lip. She switches the camera to selfie view.

“C’mon. Take one with me to prove I didn’t blow them off.”

“I don’t know I don’t really—”

“Take photographs? C’mon. I won’t bite. I promise.”

Steve sighs and bends his shoulder towards her. He feels so awkward. He’s never been good at posing.

“Okay, try not to look like this is torture, please.”

He gives her a small close-mouthed smile. She raises her eyebrows and lets her mouth fall open to compensate for his lack of facial expressions. She knows that’s the best she’s gonna get and sends it to Lucy and Jordan.

“Need any more photos?”

“Nah. There’s that downtown market by the National Portrait Gallery. We could check that out?”

“Sure. No more running ahead of me though.”

“Aye, aye, Cap’n.”

She drives to F Street and struggles to find a parking spot. After some circling, she does find one in front of a clothing shop. Steve puts his shield back on and hits the button. He’s ready.

They walk to the holiday market and go in. There are all sorts of booths selling various merchandise, food, and drink. Nicolette gets hot cocoa in a decorative mug with a mountain of whipped cream. She dives right in damning all appearances.

“How do I look?”  Her mouth is covered.

Impossibly cute. Steve snatches a napkin from a booth and wipes the whipped cream off her nose and mouth.

“Aww, I thought that could be my new disguise.”

He raises his eyebrows and she giggles.

“You should work on your resting bitch face.”

“My what?”

She glares at him and he furrows his brow. Why is she mad?

“It’s like your regular face looks mean and bitchy.”

“Doesn’t sound like something I’d be interested in.”

“Not with those puppy dog eyes.��

She moves from booth to booth pleasant to all the vendors and asking questions about the different items they’re selling. She takes a moment to look at the handblown glass ornaments.

“Beautiful, huh?” She lifts a very detailed one with painted Christmas trees and shows it to him. She nudges it closer to him and he realizes this is the most time he’s spent with a woman outside of a mission. He suddenly becomes very aware of his posture and what he should and should not do with his hands.

“Yeah.” He takes it from her. The craftsmanship is gorgeous and it’s much easier to focus on this.

“Oh, look.” She points at the one of Central Park in the snow.  It reminds her of home and Tony. What was he doing right now? Was he safe? Her face falls for a moment before she smiles politely at the vendor and walks on. She clears her throat and suddenly her distraction isn’t working as well as it was earlier. Maybe she should eat something.

She finds a booth with all sorts of snacks and of course, they have Avengers cookies.  Steve hangs back and keeps an eye on things while she peruses the menu. She doesn’t see a Natasha or Clint cookie—only Thor, Hulk, Iron Man, and Captain America. She buys two misshapen shields and skips over to him.

“Isn’t this hilarious?” She shows him proudly.

“Wow. They’ve thought of everything.” He hands the cookie back.

“Oh, no, I got you one.” She grins. She spins around and sings a bit of that Captain America song. She doesn’t remember most of the lyrics, so it’s mostly nonsense sounds, but she knows the high kick. “Take the cookie and I’ll stop.”

“Okay.” He grabs the cookie from her. “How do you even know that?”

“4th of July show when I was 12.”

“That’s my birthday.”

“You’re shitting me!”

“No.”

“That’s hilarious. I know I’m not as good as Rocket Tits or any of the USO dancers.”

“You were fine.”

“The song is so bad.”

“Try hearing it non-stop for months.”

She grimaces and he smiles. She unwraps the cookie and bites into it. It’s lemon.

“Whaddaya think?” She covers her mouth with her hand.

“It’s sweet.” He swallows the large chunk he accidentally chewed off. “Anywhere else you wanna see?”

“Nah, should probably think about lunch cause that cookie did not help. Too much sugar.”

It’s when they’re leaving that Steve gets the strange sense something is off. The hair on the back of his neck stands on end. She glances at him and can see his demeanor has changed. Her eyebrows knit together with concern.

“We’re being watched,” he whispers and takes the shield off his back, but keeps it hidden.

“What?” She nearly stops in her tracks.

“Keep moving. We need to get to your car.” He nudges her back slightly.

Her heartbeat thrums against her ribs as she walks faster. She doesn’t look behind her even though she really wants to. She wants to know what he sees. After the tensest ten-minute walk of her life, they spot her car. And that’s when Steve sees one of them on a rooftop. He presses down on the button and makes his shield visible.

“Get down!”

In one swift motion, he pulls her against his chest covering them with his shield. There’s a deafening boom as her car gets blown to pieces. She can feel the heat from the explosion on her face. A high-pitched whine rings in her ears and she looks up at him, shaking. He pulls down the shield. Terrified bystanders scatter while two men in grey jackets stand perfectly still amidst the chaos. Steve looks at her.

“Run.”

Her heart feels like it’s going to burst through her chest.  She sprints as fast as her legs can carry her into a clothing store past all the screaming people. She whips her head around looking for somewhere to hide. Mannequins lay on the floor along with shirts, pants, and other items of clothing. If she hides in one of the clothing racks then she’d be a sitting duck.

The door opens and she runs behind the cash register. A sharp pain tugs at her scalp as the man tries to lift her by her hair. She digs her thumb into his eye which makes him let go. She grabs the stapler and smashes it into his face.

“You bitch!” He hisses.

On the street, Steve throws his shield knocking the bastard back into a row of cars. He kicks the shield and flips it back onto his arm. The guy staggers to his feet and fires his gun. The bullets bounce off the shield until he’s empty. He swipes at Steve with his fists and Steve kicks him in the chest. His neck lands on the curb with a sickening crack. Panting, Steve looks around. Where is she?

Nicolette wretches a door open and locks it once she’s inside. It doesn’t look very strong, but it’s something.  Her head throbs from where he grabbed her. Think. Think. You can do this.

She sees a ladder against a window and climbs it.  It wobbles under her weight, but she can reach it. She groans and pulls up as hard as she can. It still won’t open.

The doorknob rattles as he tries in vain to get in.

“Come on.” She pleads, trying the window again.

There’s a groan of frustration followed by a thump on the door. Tears are slipping down her face. He keeps kicking the door. She gets down from the ladder and looks for a place to hide. She crouches down behind a stack of boxes. Her body shakes and her hand clamps over her mouth to muffle her sobs. With her other hand, she gropes around her for something—anything she can use to protect herself. She finds a boxcutter.

She can hear the wood breaking and clutches the boxcutter to her chest. He bursts through and she shoves a cart at him before making a break for the back door. She’s almost there when her chest smacks into the carpet. Blood gushes from a cut on her nose. He drags her by the ankle to him. She cries out as pain washes over her— intense, throbbing pain. Her vision doubles and she blinks trying to snap out of it.

“Little lady wasn’t supposed to be this much trouble.” He hoists her up by her shoulders. “Guess Stark will have to weep over the mess.”

She bites down on his hand and he drops her. She snatches the boxcutter off the ground, pushes the blade up, and plunges them deep into his thigh. He yells. She screams and crawls away from him. He flips her onto her back with such force it knocks all the air out of her lungs. The boxcutter is out of his leg and there’s a small knife in his hand. He presses down on her throat with his forearm. She grabs hold of his wrist, but she’s not strong enough. Her legs flail around trying to kick him, but it’s useless. She sobs for her life, but he doesn’t care. The knife gets closer and closer to her chest. I’m going to die.

The door swings open and the shield hits him in the head. Steve tosses the would-be assassin into the ceiling cracking the fluorescent lights. He gets back up. Steve pushes his foot on the boxcutter and sends it further into his thigh. The man jabs his fist into Steve’s nose and they trade blows. He grabs Steve by the throat. She spies the knife on the ground. Immediately, Nicolette stabs the man in the shoulder and he screams, loosening his grip. Steve rips the knife from the wound and drives it into his chest; exactly what he wanted to do to her. It’s over.

“Miss Stark?” Steve can see the blood caked on her hairline as he picks up his shield. There are cuts on her face including one on her nose that’s still dripping blood.

“What happened to the other guy?” Her entire body shakes. She’s not sure if it’s adrenaline or fear.

“He’s dead.”

“Good.”

“He didn’t cut you, did he?”

“No, just knocked me around.”

“Thank you, Miss Stark.”

She stares at him. He’s thanking her?

“For stepping in with the knife. You saved me.”

“Me? Nah, I didn’t—“

“You did.”

Nicolette nods and starts walking out to the street. Steve has half a mind to pick her up and carry her out, but he knows she won’t like that. She fought her attacker tooth and nail without any training. He can’t believe that.

A gorgeous, tall, professional woman with dark hair and blue eyes approaches them once they walk out of the store.

“Miss Stark, I’m Agent Maria Hill. Nick Fury sent me.”

“H-Hi.” Nicolette hates that she’s still shaking.

“I’m guessing he didn’t work alone.” Hill nods her head to the body bag on the ground.

“His partner’s in there, dead.” Steve points to the store.

“Agent Mendez, escort Captain Rogers and Miss Stark back to the Triskelion. They’re gonna need medical attention.”

Steve guides Nicolette to the car as S.H.I.E.L.D. starts damage control. She wonders if they have one of those Men in Black memory guns.

The Triskelion building is massively intimidating that sits on the Potomac River. She always wondered what that building was when she drove past it on the highway. Steve’s large hand takes hers to help her out of the car. She wonders if her skin is freezing or if he is on fire. She doesn’t dwell on it because he lets go as they enter the building and get in an elevator. Her head throbs now that the adrenaline fades away.

A team of medics swarms her the minute the doors open. She whips her head around and sees Steve look back before being lead down another hallway.

It’s a one-half medical exam and one-half interrogation. She doesn’t really like being questioned in a hospital gown, but she doesn’t have a choice especially when they cut her out of her sweater dress. They want to know what happened from her point of view while tending to the cuts on her face and body.

“He was on top of you with a knife? And then Captain Rogers came in?”

“Yes. I thought it was over f-for me.”

“Who killed your attacker?”

“I stabbed him in the shoulder and then Captain Rogers did it.”

“You have a lot of defensive wounds.”

“Fucker blew up my car. I wasn’t gonna make it easy for him.”

“Thankfully, most of your cuts are superficial. You do have a concussion and some bruising on your ribs.”

“Oh.”

“Thor left us a healing elixir and we’ve managed to synthesize it. It would speed up your healing. Would you like to take it?”

“Will it make the pain stop?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take it.”

The medic hands her a vial of purple liquid. It burns like whiskey and she coughs deeply.  She rubs her chest.

“Get dressed and I’ll meet you outside.” The medic places a bag on the examination table and walks out.

Nicolette takes out a grey zip-up hoodie, a white shirt, and a pair of black sweatpants. She’s surprised there isn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on any of it. Maybe it’s in the stealth section of the gift shop. She winces through the pain but gets her new clothes on. She doesn’t have any other shoes, so she has to wear her boots. Tony never thought she could run in them and she proved him wrong. She hopes she can see him soon to rub it in his face. She falters realizing this is the first time she hasn’t thought she’d see him again. She takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“Captain Rogers and Director Fury are in here.” The medic walks her down the hallway and leaves.

Nicolette knocks, feeling sheepish. She’s never been in a secret government facility.

“Come in,” calls a voice she doesn’t really know. That has to be Fury. She’s only heard about him from Tony.

A Black man with an eyepatch sits at a table with Steve.

“Nick Fury. You’ve had quite the day, Miss Stark.”

“Yeah. I don’t think I can put ‘nearly murdered’ on my car insurance claim form.”

“Due to the seriousness of all this, we need you to stay at one of our safe houses.”

“I can’t go back to my place?”

“We want to do a sweep and keep an eye on it. Just for a few days.”

“Is the safe house as subtle as this place?”

“We just want to keep you safe, Miss Stark.” Steve finally speaks up.

Nicolette folds her hands together and nods. They’re right.

“What about my clothes? I can’t go back and get those? I need different shoes.”

“Agent Hill’s at your apartment. I’ll make sure she gets you shoes.”

They thought of everything.

“When do we leave?”

It doesn’t take Hill very long to get her a go-bag and pick up Steve’s from her apartment. They’re going to the Blue Ridge Mountains. Steve’s driving which is fine with her. He turns the radio on to some Christmas station hoping it’ll cheer her up. He looks at her and she shakes her head before shutting it off.  She hugs herself and turns her head away. Her vision blurs with tears as she takes in the beautiful mountains, trees, and snow. She’s quiet for the entire two-hour drive and it’s a little eerie considering how lively she usually is.

Steve goes into the house first to make sure they’re really alone; they are. Nicolette stays quiet as they walk into the cabin. It’s very secluded. She walks upstairs and takes an empty bedroom. She wishes she could be in her own bed.

“Can I take a shower?” Her voice is soft.

“I’ll see what our food situation is.” Steve nods.

He lets Fury know they arrived safely after he finds the secure phone. There are some SAT phones and bugs in the place. He promises to turn them back on when they go to bed. Right now, he has a feeling she doesn’t want anyone listening to her while she’s still processing all this. She deserves some rest. He sees the fridge stocked with food for three days. He expected something frozen, but they’re all properly cooked meals in Tupperware. He figures he’ll ask her what she wants.

She turns the shower on and lets the strong water pressure hit her back. There are small bottles of shampoo, body wash, and soap almost like a hotel. Even though they wiped her down, she scrubs viscously at her skin and hair until she’s red all over. She needs all traces gone. She keeps seeing herself on her back with that man over her. She was so defenseless and she hated every second of it. She wants to stay in the shower for the rest of the night, but the water turns cold. She hops out and shuts the shower off. There is a small bottle of lotion in her bag and she inhales the cherry blossom scent deeply.  At least that feels normal. She slips into a sweater, sweatpants, and adds a hoodie. It’s much colder here than back in DC.

There’s a knock on the door. She opens it and sees Steve.

“You didn’t want the main bedroom?” He gestures behind him.

“No. This is fine.” She sighs.

“I’m gonna jump in the shower. Could you look in the fridge? I wasn’t sure what you’d want for dinner.”

“I don’t really care. I mean—whatever’s fine.”

“Okay, well, I’ll be right out. Miss Stark?”

“Yeah?”

“You choose tonight and I’ll pick tomorrow, okay?” He raises his eyebrows.

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and nods. She might as well give herself a tour while he’s showering. There are two bedrooms in between one bathroom. The downstairs consists of a foyer, kitchen, and living room with a fireplace, and a half bathroom. So much for killing time. She goes to the kitchen and looks at the different options. It’s all standard American meals like ham, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots, stuffed chicken breast and roasted potatoes, and chicken pot pie. There’s also lunch meat and cheese. She wonders who makes the food at S.H.I.E.L.D. for these situations. She thought they’d have to cook—not that she’s very good at it. She grabs the ham and finds the plates to heat everything in the microwave. In the pantry, she finds cereal, peanut butter, chips, and hot chocolate packets and finally the napkins she’s looking for. She sets the small table and fills up two water glasses from the tap.  Steve comes down the stairs as she sits down.

“Oh, good, just what I wanted.” He smiles.

Nicolette stabs a carrot with her fork. Steve bows his head and she realizes he’s praying. She tilts her head.

“What?”

“Wouldn’t have pegged you for being religious.”

“Habit at this point. My mom was the committed one.”

“Catholic?”

“Protestant. How about you?”

“Well, Tony thinks he’s god. Raised Lutheran from my nana. Now, agnostic, I guess. I don’t really know.”

“Yeah, not the best dinner conversation.”

“It’s okay—I mean I brought it up.”

Nicolette goes back to eating. Whoever they paid to make it definitely knew how to cook.

“This is good.” She covers her mouth with her hand.

“Much better than anything we had in the ‘40s. It was very bland.”

“Wow, that sucks. I like some spice.”

“You definitely would’ve hated it.”

Nicolette raises her eyebrows. He thought that might make her laugh. She just looks back at her food.

“Did they give you anything to eat at the Triskelion?”

“Wasn’t really hungry after all…that.”

“Yeah, adrenaline’ll do that to you.”

She nods and swirls her mashed potatoes around her fork.

The conversation dries up after that. Maybe he should’ve told her to stay home. Though considering they put a bomb on her car, they would’ve found a way to attack her. He wishes he knew what to say. He actually prefers when she’s intentionally frustrating him as opposed to this silence.

When they finish, she insists on washing the dishes and lets him dry. Her hand shakes and the fork falls on the hardwood floor.

“Shit.” She picks it up and drops it again. She straights up and it falls from her fingers a third time. “Goddamn it.”

“C’mon, let’s sit.” Steve shuts off the water.

“I wanna finish.”

Steve washes the fork and gives it to her with the towel. She dries it and puts it back.

“Now, can we sit?”

“Yeah.”

He guides her to the couch in the living room. Her muscles are all wound up and tight.

“Does this hurt?” His finger taps the spot between her shoulder blades.

“It’s sore.” She sighs. “Shower didn’t help as much as I thought.”

Her fingers rub circles on the spot trying to loosen it up, but she can only do so much. He worries she’ll make it worse with all that reaching and straining.

“Can I?” Steve keeps his hands in his lap.

“Uh, yeah.” Nicolette brushes her hair to the other side of her neck and turns her back to him.

His thumbs press into her shoulders. It feels good. She bites back a sigh not wanting to make it awkward.

“That okay?” Steve doesn’t give out many massages especially to beautiful women. He feels the knot in between her shoulder blades and rubs it with his palm.

“Mhmm.” She breathes in sharply.

It feels so nice her mind goes silent. She can feel the warmth from his hands burning through her hoodie. How is he so warm all the time? She relaxes into his touch completely unaware of how nervous he is or the fact he has no idea what he’s doing. Underneath all these muscles, he’s still the most awkward man on the planet.

“I’m always tense after a fight.” He rubs the back of her neck.

A fight? The tears burn in her eyes and she pulls away.

“Did I do something, Miss Stark?” His brow furrows with concern.

“I’m sorry.” She stifles a sob with her hand.

Steve rubs his hands on his thighs with nervous energy. He isn’t sure what to do here. Obviously, he wants to comfort her, but they don’t really know each other. Should he say something? Should he hug her? Should he leave her alone?

“When Tony started being Iron Man, I was in college. And I was in Tokyo for the Battle of New York. I wasn’t a part of it.”

Steve realizes now that Tony kept her from them for her safety. He wanted her to be spared from all this. He was being a good brother. Tony must really trust him and Natasha to ask them to keep an eye on his beloved little sister. He hasn’t really done a great job considering how traumatized she is right now.  She turns and faces him.

“I was so rude to you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Miss Stark—“

“I thought everyone was overreacting. It was easier to pretend I was just a rich bitch.”

Steve saw a bit of that in Tony in May. He has the feeling that the Stark household didn’t discuss feelings too much.

“I thought he was gonna kill me. I saw that knife and I couldn’t stop him. I thought it was over.” She sobs.

When she lifts her head and looks at him with those tear-filled blue eyes, he wants to hug her. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. She isn’t fighting anyone or going on a mission. She’s just trying to live her life. It’s not fair.

“Thank you, Captain Rogers. You saved my life.”

“You don’t have to—it’s Steve. And I’m sorry he even got that close, Miss Stark.”

Nicolette wipes her eyes and shakes her head. He didn’t do anything wrong.

“Nicolette. Or Nic or Nikki. Just don’t call me Pip.”

“Who calls you that?”

“Tony. Pip as in Pip Squeak.”

“Well, you are small.”

“How tall were you before all this?”

“5’4’’.”

“Goddamn it, still taller than me.”

Steve laughs. He’s never been so happy to hear someone curse. It only lasts for a moment before the panic sets in. Her body trembles and he takes her hand. It’s so small it practically disappears in his.

“How can I help?”

“Just start talking about something.”

“Like what?”

“Anything. Y-You. Talk about you.”

“You’re not tired of the legend of Captain America?”

She catches the disdain in his voice. She thought he was super into being the All-American hero, but maybe not. She leans back against the couch, wipes her eyes, and looks at him. She puts her hand on her chest to feel her breathing.

“Tony couldn’t fucking stand you cause Howard talked about you all the time. I saw a photo with his stuff.  School taught us that you volunteered for a project and you got all jacked. You crashed a plane and everybody thought you died. To be honest, Captain America wasn’t my favorite part of history. I was way more into the Civil Rights Movement.”

“Sorry I was so boring.”

“Well, dude, America is not that great, lemme tell ya. So learning about the symbol of America was not my thing.”

Steve just nods, not knowing what to say.

“But so far, this Steve Rogers dude ain’t so bad. Um, so where were you born?”

“Brooklyn.”

“Oh, bridge and tunnel guy.”

“Yeah.”

“Were your parents super patriotic?”

“I didn’t know my dad. He died in the Great—I mean World War I. I was raised by my mom. She was an Irish immigrant.”

A  real smile forms on his lips when he talks about his mom. It’s sweet.

“What was her name?”

“Sarah.”

“That’s pretty.”

“She was tough. Had to be. She was a nurse.”

“Okay, pretty rad. Badass single mom in the ’20’s and ’30’s. What did she think of your transformation?”

“She, uh, didn’t see it. She died when I was 18. TB.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Bucky got me through it.”

“Bucky?”

“James Buchanan Barnes. He was my best friend. Til he died on a mission.”

She frowns.

“Everyone is gone, really. Except Peggy.”

“You mean Director Carter?”

“You know her?”

“I think I met her like three times.”

“I didn’t want her to see me on television and be confused.”

“Oh, Steve.”

He looks at her. His name sounds foreign on her lips. Not wrong, but different.

“Your life sounds really lonely.” She blinks back tears.

Steve doesn’t know what to say. His life is lonely. He just hadn’t heard anyone say it aloud before—other than S.H.I.E.L.D.’s shrink.

She closes her eyes and sees that man.  She feels a wave of panic wash over her. Immediately, Steve puts his hands on her arms grounding her. Her heart is beating so fast.

“Deep breaths like me.”

She copies his breathing until she feels normal and pulls back. Tears slip down her face. She hates crying this much.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe.” He tucks her brown hair behind her ear.

Her big blue eyes are dark like sapphires. They were the first thing he noticed about her. They’re still sparkling even with the tears.  Her gaze stays locked on him. His eyes have a little green in them and they’re so bright like the sea in the Caribbean. He’s being so kind. He’s just naturally kind. She gives him a small smile that he returns instantly.

Deep in her stomach, there’s a gravitational pull leading her forward. She leans in at the same time he does. His lips ghost over hers. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest. Her lips are so soft. The floral scent of her lotion fills his nose. It smells so good. Her mouth moves against his with more urgency. She runs her hand down his neck. They break apart only for air before he gives her another chaste kiss. He cups her face and his calloused thumb tickles her skin. They pull apart and suddenly, the spell is broken. She tucks her hair behind her ears.

“I-I’m sorry. That’s so embarrassing.”

“No, I’m sorry. You’re upset and I—“

“You didn’t— My emotions are everywhere and you and the holding and just— you—I’m sorry.”

“We both are. Sorry. I mean. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay. It just—”

“Happened.” Nicolette nods and scoots away from him. She still feels the tingle on her lips and covers them with her hand.

“Are you cold? I think I’m gonna start a fire.” He coughs and stands up. Great job, Steve. The first woman you kiss since you got out of the ice and it’s Tony Stark’s sister. The person you’re supposed to be taking care of. Thank God the bugs are turned off. How would you explain that to Fury? He sighs. He’s gonna feel stupid if he apologizes again, so instead, he puts a few logs in the fireplace and strikes a match.

“Yeah, fire sounds good. Not like fire, but like a fire.” She takes a deep breath. Just shut the fucking fuck up, Nic. Tony cannot find out about this. He’s gonna be so mad. This dude is trying to keep you safe and you jump him. Poor guy is so polite he probably didn’t know what hit him. Look, he’s gone through three matches trying to light this goddamn fire. All cause of you. She didn’t mean to just kiss him. She wasn’t Jordan. This wasn’t a big ruse. “Um, they don’t get TV here, right? Wouldn’t be a very safe safe house if Comcast knew where the safe house was,” she rubs her hands together certain she said “safe" way too many times.

“Uh, yeah, but I think there are some movies if you wanna watch something,” Steve clears his throat. The fire finally starts and Nicolette walks over to the entertainment center. She pulls open the drawer. She realizes she doesn’t really know any of these movies. They’re all black and white. She likes some classic films, but she isn’t a film buff.

“C’mon, S.H.I.E.L.D. where’s the holiday spirit?” She goes back to the couch.

“Hey, movies I know.” Steve laughs, surprised. “Do you like these kinds of films?”

“What I’ve seen, yeah.”

“Going to the movies was one of my favorite things to do before the war.”

“I haven’t seen a lot. It’s a Wonderful Life.  The Wizard of Oz. How to Steal a Million. Charade. Rebecca. Butterfield 8.”

“I don’t know a lot of those, but I liked The Wizard of Oz and Rebecca. You might like this one. It’s a comedy. About a woman and a man trying to wrangle a leopard.”

“Hilarious.”

“it is. Wanna give it a try?”

“Sure.”

Steve stares at the television not sure how to do this. Nicolette grabs the remotes from the console on the couch. She turns on the TV and opens the DVD player. Steve slides the disc in.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He takes one end of the couch and she takes the other. They both stare at the screen as the movie starts. Right away, she starts laughing as Cary Grant seeks refuge from the chaos Katharine Hepburn brings upon him and Steve relaxes. By the middle of the film, they no longer have such great distance between them and neither of them notices.

“Where is Baby?” Nicolette hugs her knees to her chest, rocking with nervous energy.

“Don’t worry.” Steve laughs.

“Shut up. I don’t want spoilers.” She nudges him on the shoulder.

“Apologies your majesty.” He puts his hands up.

She rolls her eyes and he smirks. She laughs at all the right moments and he does his best not to watch her watching the film.  When it’s over, he puts the movie away and sits back down on the couch.

“You were right. That was really funny.”

“Glad you liked it. You ready to go to bed?

“I’m not really tired yet.”

He looks over at her knowing she has to be exhausted. Still, she gets up and puts another movie in.

“Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant again, right?” She shows him the case.

“Yeah. They’re divorced in this one though.” He stands up. “You start it. I’ll be right back.”

She nods and sits back down on the couch. He finds the bugs he shut off earlier and turns them back on along with the outdoor cameras. Everything is locked and secure. When he comes back, she’s wrapped in a blanket covered from her neck down to her feet.

“Found these in the closet. I left one for you.”

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“You’re hot—you run hot?” She licks her lips and turns back to the TV. You are such an idiot, she thought.

“Yeah, serum stuff.” He acts like the slip-up didn’t happen.

“You don’t overheat?

“Not really, no.”

“I’m always cold.”

“Yeah cause you’re all skin and bones.” He remembers he could never get warm before the serum.

She rolls her eyes and looks at the screen.

“Aw, it’s George Bailey.”

“Who?”

“That guy he’s in It’s a Wonderful Life.”

“Oh, you mean Jimmy Stewart.”

“Okay, nerd.” Her foot nudges his thigh playfully which makes Steve laugh.

“I haven’t seen that one.”

“It must’ve come out when you were pulling a Snow White.”

He chuckles. That joke he got.

By the middle of the movie, she’s asleep. More accurately, her head rests inches away from his shoulder on the back of the couch.

“Miss Stark—Nicolette.” He corrects himself. “You’re asleep. We should go upstairs.”

She pushes her face further into the couch. Does she have to be so cute?

“‘M okay here.”

“Won’t it be more comfortable in bed?”

She shakes her head a little too quickly. That’s why she wanted to stay up. She’s scared. He just nods and she moves to another end of the couch. He shuts off the television and grabs the blanket she got him. He drifts off to the soft sounds of her breathing.

The sun streams in and hits Steve right in the eyes. He groans and turns his head. He looks down and sees Nicolette curled into his chest. He starts sweating immediately. He knows Bucky would’ve enjoyed this. Maybe too much. He clears his throat loudly. Her big eyes look up at him and widen as she realizes.

“Shit.” She jumps off of him and he scrambles back so fast he falls onto the floor. She bolts up the stairs and closes the door behind her. Her hand twists the faucet on and she splashes cold water on her face. She licks her lips and tries to remember. They watched a movie. It was funny. They started another movie and she fell asleep. She didn’t wanna be alone, so they slept on the couch. Fuck! They kissed. She was upset and he was sweet and she just kissed him. And he kissed her back. And they kept kissing. His lips were so soft and so gentle. The way he touched her face. That was so stupid. Stop thinking about it.

Steve gets off the floor. He tries not to dwell on the fact that she woke up next to him and ran away.  Or that she looked so beautiful he could’ve kissed her again. No. No more kissing, he reminds himself. She was a nice girl—woman—definitely a woman. He needs to get ready for the day. He reviews the footage and only sees animals moving around the house at night. He reports to Fury that the first night went by fine. They haven’t seen anyone come to her apartment, but they’re still keeping an eye on it. He goes into the kitchen to get started on breakfast.

Nicolette enters the kitchen in a sweater and jeans. Thank God she didn’t have many clothes so she didn’t have the luxury of indecisively changing outfits for an hour. She feels so awkward. She’s hyper-aware of every movement she makes. Steve puts a bowl of cereal in front of her.

“There’s not a lot in the pantry.” He says apologetically.

“No worries.” She shrugs. “Thanks.”

She digs in with her spoon and watches as he stays next to the island.

“Did you wanna sit?” She covers her mouth with her hand and kicks the seat across from her at the table.

“I’m good standing. Standing’s good.” Steve wants to punch himself in the face. Instead, he starts in on his cereal.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Hm?”

“Running away. It’s a new place and you’re a new—It wasn’t personal.”

“Right. It’s fine.”

“Cool.”

They eat in silence for the longest ten minutes of their lives.

“Did they find anything at my place?”

“Not yet. They’ll be watching it until we can go back.”

“Okay. Is there any coffee?”

“Yes!”

Steve brings her a mug.

“I didn’t know how you liked it.”

“Thanks. I can do it.”

She cleans her bowl before putting it back. Then she grabs some milk out of the fridge and pours in a splash and adds some sugar.

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

She wanders back into the living room with her mug and finds a bunch of different books on the coffee table. She might as well read. She takes a random one on Amelia Earhart and sits down.

Steve finishes up eating and decides to get dressed. He comes down in a sweatshirt and sweatpants ready to do some exercise. He starts with pull-ups in the doorway with a metal bar he found in the garage. She keeps her eyes on the printed word until he removes the sweatshirt. She’s never seen his bare arms before and the tank top does not hide anything. Her eyes follow as he moves up and down. He’s not focused on her at all which is good because she’s staring like a hormone-driven teenager. To be fair, it’s not every day that a gorgeous specimen does work out routines before her eyes. He’s like CGI but real. He was supposed to be a hot but incredibly boring grandpa. Why did he have to turn out to be a decent guy instead of a pain in the ass? Why did he have to kiss like a prince in a fairytale? Get it together, woman.  She flips the page and takes a sip of her coffee.

Steve looks over at her. She drops her book and leans over the couch arm to grab it. Her chest is pressed into the couch and she has to be wearing a V neck, so the amount of cleavage is unfair.  He realizes what he’s doing and closes his eyes, so he isn’t leering at her like those guys at the restaurant. When he opens them, she’s back to reading and biting her lip in concentration. Her pink tongue runs over the groove created by her teeth and he just stares, unable to move. She brushes her hair away from her neck. Her skin is perfect.  He wonders if her skin is as soft as her lips. He looks down and fixes his pants. You are so embarrassing. She’s not even doing anything. Barton’s right; he needs to sleep with someone. Someone who isn’t related to Tony Stark. Someone he isn’t assigned to protect. He drops to the floor to do push-ups and settle down. Things were so much easier when they weren’t getting along. He could be annoyed by her and focus on his responsibilities.

Nicolette has read the same sentence about Amelia’s childhood about seven times because of all the sighs he’s making on the floor. Granted, the book isn’t exciting, but does he have to make those noises? She can see every ripple in his back and she shifts in her seat. She can hear Jordan’s voice in her head telling her how she could pass the time by fucking him instead of reading that book. She closes her eyes. What is she? A cat in heat? This is not how adults behave. He stands up and clears his throat. She looks over at him trying not to focus on the chords of his neck and veins in his arms or how badly she wants to drag her teeth over them. Wow, it’s really been too long. Jordan wasn’t wrong when she said she needed to get laid.  She’s taking out all her sexual frustration on this poor guy. Finally, he speaks.

“Would you wanna get some air? I—“

“Hell yes.” She stands up.

“Uhh okay. We could explore the property a bit?”

“Absolutely! Let’s go outside.”

At this point, she’s ready to roll around in the snow. She feels dirty for all her staring. Is this how Jordan feels all the time? No. She has no shame. She would’ve come downstairs in panties and spread her legs. She’s about as subtle as a porno.

Nicolette meets him outside in her parka and boots. Steve grabs the satellite phone for emergencies and starts walking. She follows behind him. Steve doesn’t really know where he’s walking, but it’s beautiful and he makes sure he knows how to get back. Growing up, it was an effort to explore the city with Bucky, but he did it all the same. It wasn’t until he got to the Army that he did any real traveling and still, that didn’t involve exploring the wilderness for leisure. It’s beautiful. Shuttling from two different cities she doesn’t get out to nature much. She’s very much a born and raised city girl, so this is really new to her. It’s absolutely gorgeous despite the cold. Steve turns his head and looks behind him at the sound of Nicolette humming.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I’m so annoying. I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

Steve shakes his head. That’s not why he asked. Her voice is so pretty he doesn’t think she owes anyone an apology for hearing it.

“What’s the song?”

“Oh, you know, the John Denver song.”

He raises his eyebrows.

“Right.‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’. It’s about these mountains and West Virginia. I think it’s their song.”

“How does it go?”

Nicolette laughs and shakes her head. Steve tilts his head.

“I wanna know.”

“You have how many days left with me? I’ve sung way too much.”

“I like your voice.”

The look on his face can only be described as puppy dog eyes. She presses her lips together trying to hide her smile.

“Please.”

“I only know a bit.”

“That’s fine.”

She pats the side of her coat to keep time and clears her throat before singing.

“Almost heaven. West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains. Shenandoah River. Something something. Something I don’t know.”

She bops her head through the lyrics she can’t remember. He doesn’t care. It sounds lovely. She takes a deep breath and he catches her gaze. She smiles.

 “Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia. Mountain Mama. Take me home, country roads.”

“Thank you.” Steve claps.

Nicolette pulls on her hood to hide her face. He doesn’t understand why she’s bashful all of the sudden. He met her when she was singing in a packed theater for a national stage. She walks on ahead and shakes off the awkwardness. Performing for Tony was a one-off. It was special. This just made her feel weird because she didn’t want it to sound bad, but she didn’t want to show off. She stops as they reach a cliffside.

“Wow.”

They look out at all the tall trees and mountains stretched out across the horizon. It’s breathtaking. It gives her a reality check in the best way. She has no thoughts or worries as she looks at the grey rock and blue trees covered in white. She’s just here. Steve thinks it’s stunning and he’s glad he gets to see it.  They soak it in.

“It’s beautiful,” he says after a long silence.

“Yeah, it is.” She breathes in sharply.

He waits until she turns away to say anything more.

“Did you want to keep going? We’re about 4 miles from the cabin."

“Ew, oh my god. If we don’t go back now, I will not make it.”

“Want me to carry you back?”

He’s smirking and she glares at him, narrowing her eyes.

“No, I don’t need you to carry me.”

“Are you sure? Your legs are pretty short.”

She swats him on the arm.

“Oh, fuck off, dude.”

He arches an eyebrow and she sprints away. She rests her arms on her knees and bends over. He almost touches her shoulder to see if she’s okay when she shoves a pile of snow in his face.  She cackles. He scoops up the snow and dumps it on her head. She growls and makes a snowball launching it at his chest. He throws one at her and she yelps, dashing off. He looks around for her and doesn’t see her. As he turns his head, he gets hit in the face with another snowball. She giggles and gets him again.

“That’s it!” He runs after her and lifts her off her feet. She wiggles and he loses his footing. He slips on the snow and they both fall back. She lands on top of him. Wasting no time, she sprinkles snow in his face and hood.

“That’s what you get! Eat snow, Rogers.” She laughs.

Steve looks up at her and the air shifts. He stops smiling and keeps his eyes locked onto hers. Nicolette breathes heavily and doesn’t move. Her eyes flicker from his mouth to his eyes. He waits with bated breath. She rolls off him and stands up.

“We should probably head back.” He dusts his gloves off on his jeans.

“Yeah. ” She nods. Her cheeks are flushed, but she’s not so sure it’s from the cold.