#presumed arthritis anyway

[reborrowing]

flopping out of the walls and hoping for the best because I’m not doing the whole secret climbing thing anymore with this arthritis forget itttttt whatever happens happens

[marygih]

Do you have any new headcanons? I found the ones in your pin very interesting!

Firstly: forgive me for the delay in responding, I started collecting my new headcanons and ended up forgetting to come back here to show them.

Anyway, my new headcanons:

1. Olive's tiara/crown is also made from a heavy material to help her stay on the ground and not fly away. It's extra weight to give her more comfort on the ground.

2. The council of ymbrynes never learned that Bentham accidentally created the hollowgasts. If they had known, Bentham would probably have been arrested. Even if he didn't create the hollows on purpose, he definitely planned a small genocide. This is probably considered a crime by the council.

3. Peculiar souls are not acidic, ambrosia was only acidic because the Wights wanted it, they made it that way. An addictive and corrosive liquid. It was their way of harming their peculiar "allies".

4. Caul always knew that Miss Peregrine was the successor of one of the 12 great ymbrynes who sealed Abaton and this probably made him hate her even more.

5. Nothing bad happened with the old Enoch loop, he probably just didn't suit the place and asked to change loops and ended up in Cairnholm,As grumpy as Enoch is, he likes living there, if he didn't like it he would have asked to change loops at the first opportunity.

6. Every time Abe visited Emma after the war he always went with the intention of ending everything with her, but personally he couldn't, he never had the courage to break her heart personally. Ending everything by letter was easier for him and more painful for her.

7. Claire is very young, she was probably found by Miss Peregrine when she was still very little and Ymbryne adopted her, that's why Claire is so attached to Miss P, she's the closest thing Claire has ever known to a mother.

8.Just like Olive and Noor, Claire is also a peculiar "Infant" she was born with a second mouth on the back of her head and her story must be quite sad.

9. When Victor's body was brought to the island, Enoch was the one who sewed up the entire body, he was the only one who had the courage to do this for his friend.

10. Millard has never feared being forgotten by Miss Peregrine, and probably enjoys being in her presence because she never fails to notice him. She feels his peculiarity, it's as if she sees him. Even though she doesn't really see him, she feels him, she always knows where he is, he will never be forgotten by her, she is the only one who notices his presence all the time.

11. Horace's dreams are completely meaningless, sometimes he manages to interpret and avoid the bad future, and sometimes he cannot understand what he dreamed but tries to explain and everything comes out confused and meaningless.

12. During the entire time that Fiona was missing, she was recovering from the injuries caused by her fall and the violence of the wights.

13. When Miss Peregrine saved Abe she probably didn't know what his peculiarity was, he was too young to be able to kill a hollow, he probably only discovered his gift when he was older and managed to survive an attack by hollowgasts. After all, there is no way for him to discover his power without having met Hollow in person.

14. Hugh has a whole routine organized for his bees so that their life in his stomach is as comfortable as if they lived in a normal hive.

15. There was probably a burial for Caul, and for all the current wights, after all, before they discovered what they had become, they were all presumed dead.

16. The constant transformations of ymbrynes into their respective birds harm their bone health. Their bones keep changing size and becoming hollow, their joints are also damaged, which is why they develop bone and joint problems early. Like Miss Peregrine's arthritis and how Miss Avocet became a wheelchair user.

17. Mr White and his men always knew that the children were with Caul and not Miss P. He was only so worried about knowing where the Falcon was because he knew that it was his master, and he was worried that he wasn't with the children. The wights were only chasing the children to force them to look for Miss Wren faster.

18. Wights do not have complete control or trust in hollows, and they can see the creatures, but they do not trust them enough to ride hollows like Jacob does.

19. Miss Peregrine's greatest fear is losing one of her children. She's already lost many children to tragic deaths, and she definitely doesn't want to go through that again.

20. The ymbrynes of the primordial era of the peculiars were also giants. Gigantic and very wise bird-women.

[clonerightsagenda]

"Why do you have braces again?" Well funny story the FIRST time I had braces they gave me TMJ, and then my autoimmune condition settled into the joint with its inflammatory arthritis manifestation and eroded part of my jawbone, jumbling all my teeth together, and it turns out I need massive jaw surgery/bone extension/joint replacement/facial reconstruction but before I can do that I have to do braces for a while to get the teeth all lined up properly. Which will presumably fuck my joint up more but I guess it doesn't matter since it's all going to get taken out in a year anyway!

For longtime followers yes this is the process I tried to start a year and a half ago but got repeatedly denied by insurance over. My insurance provider changed and so I am back in business baby. Bring on the horrors.

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters From Watson: The Noble Bachelor

Part 1: The Fun Stuff

- Not fun for Watson but the war wound is acting up, and as someone who’s had arthritis since before I was 20? Sympathies.  - “This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.” Holmes you would love the 2020′s. Nobody’s going anywhere, I promise you.

- Holmes once again relies on Watson’s newspaper reading hobby to provide background information. - Lestrade! This is the first time he’s introduced (according to Baring-Gould’s chronology, which as we just discussed is weird about this case) but for people first reading the series? You WILL see him again. In publication order he’s already been mentioned several times - off the top of my head during The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle and I think also The Man with The Twisted Lip. - There are reference books regarding English nobility, apparently. - Holmes remarks that 41 is old for marriage (presumably first marriages only...) and by my count Watson is about thirty three or thirty four. So far I don’t believe we have had a single case where Holmes’ client is confirmed to be younger than either of the two: Victor Trevor is presumably the same approximate age as Holmes, Musgrave at least three years his senior, Helen Stoner thirty two in 1883 when Holmes is 24ish, watson 27ish, and Dr. Trevelyan estimated in his early 30′s in 1886. (Baring-Gould would have insisted that Holmes was 34 at the time, but we all know what I think of his Holmes birthdate.) - We once again have a man of title but no money marrying a woman with money. On a larger scale than in Speckled Band, obviously. 

- The newspapers have apparently already picked up the fact that Miss Doran has vanished - I imagine that, if Lord St. Simon hadn’t decided to call, Watson would be regaling Holmes with this tidbit of news anyway, once his other investigation was wrapped up. 

- (This is, notably for my argument with Baring-Gould’s timeline, NOT The Resident Patient, meaning that Gould believes that Holmes had three cases within the span of two days... not impossible but also quite busy, considering that he had to run errands to confirm his hypotheses in The Resident Patient and he was presumably either walking and thinking, or on site investigating, immediately before this.) - Miss Hatty Doran’s dowry is six figures... 100,000 pounds in 1888 is approximately 9,900,000 pounds (12,000,000 USD) today.  - Sidenote, but the pounds to dollars exchange rate has changed during the last two weeks since I’ve been doing the reread, and this is why I round these numbers.

[xplrvibes]

You know, on Reddit, people gave me so much shit about how I expressed how much I couldn't stand Elton nor Corey but especially Elton. To those that said to me "But SnC signed off on all those terrible pranks & agreed to them". Let me ask you, do you ask young kids for expert opinions on anything like major financial decisions such as buying a house? Would you ask your dentist for advice on arthritis in your knees? No. You don't ask someone completely out of their element for advice on something they're not knowledgeable on. Just like I wouldn't expect immature teens/early 20s kids to make smart decisions. In the OG Traphouse SnC were 20, Corey 22 and Elton a grown ass man at 26/27. A man with fully developed frontal lobes. He was also vastly more worldly than them.

Instead of telling the younger ones to chill the F out with their pranks, he egged them on to do their worst. I'm not going to rehash Elton's pranks I felt crossed a serious line but will say I felt that man behaved like a sociopath & took advantage of those kids who were younger than him. It always rubbed me the wrong way & I made up my mind about Mr Castee back in 2017. So last year when he blamed the fans for his messed up behavior towards SnC which started back in Dec 2020 (much earlier if we count some really inappropriate jokes), I was pissed. One of his defenders even blocked me here on Tumblr for pointing out how Elton was no victim.

So it comes as no surprise to me that he is still blaming others for decisions & actions he chose to make himself. SO here I am cackling at all that has been said at 2AM. Yes, we knew he was shady (& Corey too) & now some of his contradictions are glaring. I hope maybe now people can stop defending his (& Corey's) awful behavior & leave Elton & Corey behind already. SnC fir the most part seem to have. Apologies for the length.

Oh trust me, it happened to us on here too when we vocalized the same sentiment.

This whole situation has been a little validating on a personal level, to be honest. Can't say tumblr didn't clock all of this last year lol.

Anyway, I think I've spoken about the pranks before, but yea - one of the reasons I've never liked Elton was because I felt like some of the stuff he did went way too far. And it's not even the obvious ones that people always use that got me...for example, the wig prank on Colby. The prank itself was fine. The problem was when he forced Colby to dress up and go degrade himself in the street under threat of not having this wig removed.

The way he went about all of that and the glee in his eyes always gave me sociopathic vibes for sure, but also - that man has a humiliation kink and a control kink and seems to enjoy doing it to people who won't say no.

Kinda weird.

Anyway, yes - we called this last year when that video came out. Elton and Corey both were way too hot to make that video with snc to get the heat off of themselves, and were tripping over themselves to place the blame on anyone but themselves. The fans can be little assholes sometimes, sure, but let's not forget who started everything.

Elton started making unprovoked comments about snc back at the end of 2020, when they announced their intention to start 25x25. Corey was still living with - and I would presume he was still on somewhat friendly terms with - snc at the time Elton started this shit. The fans only started going after Elton, and later Corey, after they started being shady. So, blaming the fans was always a ridiculous cop out to me. Said it then, and I'll say it twice now.

Anyway, now all of a sudden, Elton is blaming Corey for all the shit talk. And here the the thing with this that I have an issue with: either: a) Corey was shit talking snc to Elton while still friends with snc, or b) Elton maybe, just maybe, started shit talking snc himself because he was jealous and bummed that he lost control over his shining stars.

Either way, neither Elton nor Corey are the type of people you want to do business with or be friends with, and are definitely not the people you want to do both with.

Snc would do well to stay leagues away from them both.

[the-crafty-hobbit]

I've just about had it with the arthritis in my back and knees, and muscle pain in my right leg. My back and the muscle pain persists everyday. The knees are bearable (just about), but that is only because I avoid going up and down stairs like the plague, avoid going down steep slopes and anything that might interrupt my walking rhythm, or cause me to walk too fast that could cause a fall. So... I by passed the useless GP surgery that have ignored these symptoms for years and think that starving myself is a cure-all for all the medical problems I suffer from (I am only UK Size 22 in trousers, skirts, etc, so I am only just on the 'overweight' threshold) and gone straight to referring myself. It's no joke - since October these problems have been worse, just about bearable but they are at the point where I don't want to carry out my normal daily routine. What pisses me off though is that a vet (or at least a competent one) can sport arthritis in animals, dogs in particular, without the dog being able to tell them where there is pain, without being able tell them how much pain they are in or if it is getting worse, but you're a patient with these things, you tell the GP/Nurse about it every time you see them and they dismiss it. It's disgusting. And one of the many reasons why the NHS strikes are a joke - they don't do their jobs thoroughly anyway but want! more! pay! and make out how much of a great hero/heroine/human being they are because of the job they do, but leave patients to suffer. Presumably because the medical treatment you get for thing they are treating you for already exceeds their budget for you, or something...

[cripplecharacters]

howdy :) i’m writing a fantasy novel with a physically disabled character that has a lot of very stiff joints (especially the fingers and the wrists.) she got her disability from an accident (magical curse), so i plan on having her learn to adjust and adapt to her disability by having her change her wardrobe over time to clothes that would be easier to put on and off with her stiff joints. originally she has a bunch of medieval-y clothes (bc the novel is set in medieval inspired times), with buttons and laces and things that require precision. what suggestions do you have for some clothes and other things that might be easier for her to wear?

Hi there, thanks for your question!

I'm not a medieval clothing expert by any means, but I'll give this a shot. I'll try to keep my advice as vague as possible to suit various settings, since "medieval" is pretty broad and doesn't specify locale.

I don't personally wear modern adaptive clothing so I can't fully speak to how you might adapt modern techniques to a medieval setting, but I can give you a general idea of which medieval clothes might be easiest for her to wear. Also, since this is fantasy, you can fudge the details however you like to make it work for your character even if it's not fully "historically accurate."

My immediate thought for this character would be button hooks. They're Victorian in origin so quite a bit later than medieval, but I see no reason why they shouldn't exist in a medieval fantasy setting as they're not too complex and all the elements to create one would presumably still be present in this society. They're long, thin metal rods with a hook at the end that are used to pull buttons through closures without needing to use your fingers and are especially useful for clothing with very small and/or a large number of buttons. Different versions of them are still used in the modern day as assistive devices to help with getting dressed, particularly for people with arthritis.

Depending on your setting, and particularly if your characters are wearing some version of a corset, supportive kirtle, or stays under their external clothing layers, it might already be common practice for characters who need bust support to have assistance in getting dressed and doing their laces up, so that would take some of the pressure off of this character to get dressed by herself. I'd also expect this character to prefer clothing with front closures or laces that are easier to reach, rather than clothing that is done up at the back or side. Depending on the nature of her curse, she might wear a supportive garment anyway even if she doesn't need bust support, as corsets/kirtles/stays can actually alleviate some chronic pain, especially for people with scoliosis or other skeletal/spinal differences.

She might have clothing made specifically for her or seek out clothing cut similarly to a shift, so just a large unfitted tunic or dress that can be slipped on over the head and doesn't have any elaborate laces or buttons (in most cases). It would be loose and baggy on her by design, but it would alleviate the dressing struggles associated with achieving a tighter and more fitted silhouette. Basically, I'd think anything with uncomplicated square or rectangular cuts sewn together--anything wide enough to go over her shoulders and fall straight down her body without tapering. Belts would come in handy to secure and support any external garments that she couldn't lace up herself and to give her silhouette some shape if she'd like. Also--pins! Pinning clothing in place has real historical precedent so if she wanted to pin something up on her body rather than tie it, especially pinning different layers of clothing together to hold them in place, she could absolutely do so without necessarily standing out.

I hope this was at least a little bit helpful! If you'd like, you're more than welcome to offer a follow-up with more specifics on a time period and location that you're drawing from so we can offer input on specific garments. Other disabled people (especially those who wear adaptive clothing) & people with more historical costuming knowledge than me are absolutely encouraged to chime in!

-Mod Faelan

[unfunny-quips]

Snippet from my (other) overly complicated Akeshu Time Loop fic where everyone except Akira (mostly) remembers the previous year:

Akechi Goro’s apartment was nothing like what Ann had expected it to be. Though admittedly her imagination had been a bit conflicted on what she should expect.

The shiny, polite Ace Detective facade he showed the world suggested she should expect a living space ripped straight out of a designer magazine. Attractive but stiff, nice to look at but difficult to actually live in let alone be comfortable in when visiting.

On the other hand, what she’d seen of his other side - the feral, blood thirsty and thoroughly nasty Black Mask - made her think of a dungeon like space. Chains on the walls, maybe one of those disturbing cluttered spaces shown on crime dramas when the heroes were hunting a serial killer. Pictures with blacked out eyes pinned to the walls, red string connecting disparate and terrifying thoughts and images, a collection of weapons on display.

What she got was…neither of those.

Shiho led her down the kind of pleasant residential area that put Ann in mind of the best kind of summers as a kid. A big park, open friendly faces, a community that seemed friendly and kind to each other. Shiho smiled and waved to a number of people on their way, the few they stopped to chat with for a bit telling her to give their hellos on to Akechi before letting them continue.

The apartment itself was the converted guest house in the back garden of what looked to be a cheerful family home. Ann counted no less than three fat cats lazing about and when they approached a delightfully plump old woman seated in a rocking chair on the front porch sat up from her reading to say hello and welcome Ann. Shiho called her Obaasan and rushed to give her a hug like she really was Shiho’s beloved grandmother before the old woman ushered them down the side path towards the back of the house.

“That’s Goro’s landlady, Shibata-San,” Shiho said as they walked the narrow path that led along the side of the house and through a truly beautiful garden. “She’s super sweet but has trouble with her arthritis sometimes. She gives Goro a deal on the rent since he helps her out so much around the house and with her gardening.”

Akechi Goro being nice to little old ladies. Ann wasn’t certain if that was exactly what she expected from the deranged killer pretending to be a charming teen detective or something so far out of the realm of expected as to be laughable. She chose to make a polite hmm noise of interest instead, not wanting to break the good mood Shiho was in by bringing up how very much Ann hated Akechi. She was rewarded by Shiho smiling warmly at her, which was really all the shorter girl would need to do to convince Ann to murder someone in Shiho’s name.

Shiho knocked at the door and Ann took a final calming breath to prepare her for the night that lay ahead of her. It was just a few hours, and she’d be there with Shiho and there would be plenty of other people to help buffer her from Akechi and Akira. Ann had helped shoot a god in the face once, she was ready for anything Akechi might throw at her over a few hours of talking about a book.

She wasn’t even close to ready, as it turned out.

The realization settled in the moment the door opened to reveal a yawning Akechi standing before her with messy hair and Featherman themed pajamas. Rumpled and clearly well worn Featherman pajamas.

Ann felt her eyes widen comically at the sight of the boy that had once been her and her team’s arch nemesis. A known and dangerous killer who had taken countless lives in the name of his twisted revenge scheme. 

He was wearing adorable unicorn slippers. Their horns were rainbow.

“Ah, Shiho!” Akechi said through his yawn, face stretching into a warm smile as he spotted the shorter girl on the other side of the threshold. “Just in time, I need help hauling Akira’s dead weight to the bedroom.” Ann watched him scratch lazily at his chin before blinking his attention over to her and offered another smile. It was a  brittle, plastic thing in comparison to the honest warmth he’d offered the shorter girl. All polish and teeth, no actual emotion. “And Takamaki-San, I’m so glad you could join us for the evening.”

He looked anything but, especially with the white knuckled grip he had on the door handle.

Ann offered a strained smile of her own. She’d made a promise to Shiho damnit and she’d see it through if it killed her. Or if Akechi killed her. Whatever. The point was that she was going to try damnit.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” She said as Akechi stepped back to allow them inside. Shiho gave a faint wince at the overly perky tone Ann had and shoot she’d overshot the enthusiasm a bit. Oh well. Better to be too excited than not enough. She followed Shiho’s lead in taking her shoes off and slipping on a pair of house slippers before turning her attention to the apartment itself.

It was…surprisingly cozy.

Ann was surprised too by the amount of clutter taking up the apartment. A laundry basket of half-folded, clean clothes sitting next to the couch, a knocked over bag tossed on a side table by the front door, more pillows and blankets than Ann would have expected making it seem like a nice place to curl up and read in. The apartment still managed to look tidy despite the half hearted attempt at organization.

Most of the space consisted of a living room with a tiny kitchenette tucked in a corner. There was a small nook beside the cooking area likely meant for dining. The small table placed there was taken over by a nice looking chess set, leaving no room for any actual dining. A small blackboard hung on the wall beside it, tallying victories of each player - tied, from what Ann could see, between Akechi and Kurusu. Other than that there were a couple doors leading to what she presumed to be a bedroom and a bathroom. 

It looked so remarkably normal.

Hardwood floors, plush rugs thrown everywhere, overstuffed bookshelves, pictures on the wall. There was a larger one hung over the couch showing off the entire book club smiling brightly at what looked like a cat cafe. Shiho, Akechi, Kurusu, Yoshizawa, even Togo Hifumi and Iwai’s son Kaoru. All of them squeezed together to fit, hands up in peace signs or giving each other bunny ears.

They looked normal. Just kids hanging out, enjoying each other’s company and reading books. It was hard to reconcile the photo with the mental image Ann had of several of the members as potential agents of Yaldabaoth.

Seeing how happy Shiho looked in the pictures didn’t help.

Ann pushed the thoughts away as best she could and followed other two to where a half asleep Akira was laid sprawled half under a large kotatsu. The delinquent had his head thrown back on the couch behind him, one of the many throw pillows Akechi apparently owned curled in his arms. She was surprised to see his usual oversized glasses he so often hid behind tossed haphazardly on the kotatsu. His eyes were closed, but he cracked one open when he heard them come over.

“M’fine here.” He muttered, curling up further around his pillow.

Akechi rolled his eyes. 

“There is a bed literally right there.” he pointed at one of the two closed doors for emphasis, mere steps away. Akira was already turning away and wiggling further beneath the kotatsu blanket. “Just go to bed Akira, no one else is even going to be here for another hour at least.”

Ann blinked. “What?” She turned from the drowsy Akira to Shiho, the shorter girl giving an unapologetic, challenging smile.

“Goro said we could come over early so you could get settled in!” Shiho said, chipper and all too aware of the fact that Ann had been banking on keeping her attention on other people in order to ignore Akechi. She really shouldn’t have been surprised. Shiho really did know her too well.

Akechi offered another brittle smile before turning his attention back to Akira, his expression softening again. Ann watched as the detective attempted to scoop the dark haired boy up, only for Akira to slip out of his grasp by going boneless, earning an undignified swear from the detective. 

Ann watched as the detective attempted to drag the delinquent away by an arm, amused as Shiho strolled over casually and hauled Akira up over her shoulder - pillow and all - in a fireman’s hold. She did it with such ease that Ann was a left little breathless at the show of strength. Akira wasn’t heavy by any measure but he was tall and she’d seen him working out at the gym the one time she went with Ryuji. The boy had muscle and that couldn’t be light. It didn’t matter to the short girl and her exceptional strength and well… Ann was weak to Shiho in so very many ways.

A few minutes later Akira had been safely stowed in a proper bed, the faint sound of soft snores heard from the dark haired delinquent before Shiho had even made it through the door. Which just left the three of them standing awkwardly in the living room.

Joy.

“I’m not nearly as good as Akira or Boss,” Akechi began, “But I can make a passable cup of coffee with what I’ve got here. Would you like one?”

There was a very real chance he might poison it. Ann nodded anyway to appease Shiho, resigned to the fact that she really was willing to do anything to see the shorter girl smile. 

Akechi shuffled towards the kitchenette in his ridiculous fluffy unicorn slippers and began fussing with the various coffee supplies that took up almost all of his very limited counter space. He was even nice enough to pull out a container of some cookies - a favorite brand of Ann’s on top of it - that hadn’t even been opened yet from a cupboard. She felt secure in the knowledge that those at least hadn’t been tampered with as she began happily devouring them.

“He’s still refusing to move in?” Shiho asked Akechi softly as she settled on the plush loveseat adjacent to the couch, tugging Ann down beside her. The dark haired girl pulled her feet up and under her, Shiho’s expression turning concerned as she watched Akechi work.

Akechi gave a soft sigh as he began boiling some water for the coffee. “He’s just so damn stubborn.” The detective said, shoulder’s drooping as he measured the freshly ground coffee out. “That place is killing him, but every time I bring it up he digs his heels in.”

Shiho gave a soft sigh before turning her attention to Ann to explain. “Akira is…” She paused, frowning, “His living situation is…bad.” Ann flicked her attention to Akechi as she heard him mutter a faint fucking understatement of the year under his breath. “Goro has offered to let him stay here but Akira’s worried that his record would hurt Goro’s reputation.”

“Oh,” Ann said, turning her attention on the delicate chocolate dipped cookie she held. Akira’s criminal record, that had been made public and well known by Mishima at Komashida’s request. Because Akira had stepped in and kept the teacher from getting to Shiho. Something Ann should have done. “Isn’t there something he can do? He’s staying with a guardian right? Couldn’t he just request to be moved under someone else?”

Akechi snorted bitterly. “Great idea, so that scam artist can report him as being “dangerous” and get him sent back to Juvie?” Red eyes turned to Ann, pinning her in place as Akechi’s mouth twisted into a sour frown. “You know about shitty adults. You know there really aren’t options like that for people in Akira’s position.”

Ann was struck again by the strange clash between what she expected from Akechi from the last run of the game and what he was showing her in this one. 

A facade of niceties for the camera, a howling soul of insanity for anyone who got in his way. Where, exactly, between those two extremes lay concern for a friend in a difficult position? Where did friends lay in that mess at all? Where did the cozy apartment, helping out an arthritic old lady, the weekly book club, the Featherman pajamas? Was there a graph somewhere that might map it all out? Or was she just supposed to guess at what was a real glimpse at the boy that had once murdered her friend’s father and what was an act to get what he wanted?

“Here,” Akechi said, and for a moment she half expected him to hand her the answers she wanted. He didn’t, of course, instead handing her a cup of coffee resting on a matching saucer. Both cup and saucer had cute chubby cats on them. “Cream? Sugar?”

She blinked and nodded, watching as he turned on his heel to get her what she asked for. Shiho beside her shifted where she sat, butting their shoulders together gently. Her face, when Ann met her gaze, was thoughtful. Considering Ann as if she was the puzzle and not the serial killer juggling a carton of cream and an oversized container of sugar across the room. Trying to stow her apprehension away for the night, Ann offered her friend the best honest expression she could while knowing how many lies she’d given the shorter girl over the past months. 

Shiho’s expression shifted slowly, the look in her dark eyes difficult to read. Ann watched as the other girl turned to sip at her coffee. Shiho didn’t even wait for it to cool. She always liked her drinks hot enough to scald.

“You know, maybe it’s the way you’re asking.” Shiho said, the complicated emotions Ann glimpsed the moment before shuffled away as the dark haired girl turned a devious smile on Akechi.

The detective looked weary and wary all at once. “Shiho…” His tone had something like a weak warning to it, though the bite Ann was used to hearing from him was absent.

“I’m just saying,” Shigo said, looking delighted, “You’re asking him to move in with you as a friend.”

“Don’t.” Akechi said, it might have been sharp and snapping if it wasn’t for the color rising high on the boy’s cheeks. Ann blinked in bewilderment. Was Akechi Goro blushing?

“Just ask him to be your boyfriend already!” Shiho said, all cheer and delight with an undercurrent of something challenging directed at the now definitely blushing Akechi. “We all saw you two kiss at the ice rink! It’s not like the thing between you it’s a secret!”

Ann choked on the cookie she’d just popped into her mouth. Akechi - so red that Ann was fairly certain he was going to turn purple soon - made a high pitched squeak and buried his face in his hands.

Well that put a new light on things.

“You kissed Kurusu?!” Cookies crumbs went flying as she spoke but Ann didn’t care. The news was just too big to be taken in calmly. Makoto had suspected that Kurusu, a known criminal, was a pawn in Akechi’s devious plan and the rest of the group had been thinking the same. Morgana suggested that the dark haired boy might even be the new player they’d been warned about.

At no point at any of them considered Akechi could be so human as to simply just like Kurusu.

“It’s not that - you’re taking things out of context!” Akechi almost wailed, not a psychopath ready to kill at a drop of a hat but an embarrassed teenage boy being teased about his crush.

Shiho laughed, “You two held hands!” 

“I didn’t know how to skate! Kurusu was helping me balance!”

“You stayed on the ice during the couple’s song!”

“We just didn’t want to get off the ice!”

“You stopped, in the middle of the rink, looked deep into each other’s eyes while holding hands and kissed.”

As if to drive her point home, Shiho lifted her phone to show a picture - a bit blurry at the edges but clear enough to make out - of Akechi and Kurusu definitely having a sweet, romantic kiss on the ice. Clearly completely oblivious of the world around them as they did so. It was possibly the cutest thing Ann had ever seen.

Any idea Ann ever had of Akechi Goro being intimidating was thrown right out the window.

[exeggcute]

oh my god lmfao I forgot like... the other day I was in my allergist’s waiting room and they have this big TVs set up that do nothing but play health PSAs and literal advertisements for various prescription drugs on loop constantly. the two TVs are not in sync, by the way, so it’s like two completely different audio tracks blaring at all times for two wildly different videos. this practice is actually a combination of allergy and dermatology so the gamut of these things, as you can imagine, varies wildly between like commercials for botox and informative videos about managing plaque psoriasis. anyway. one of these TVs was playing an ad for a monoclonal biologic called dupixent, which is supposed to be really good for eczema (never tried it myself because I opted for the slightly older anti-eczema drug) but this particular ad was focusing on its secondary use in treating nasal polyps because I guess that’s more lucrative. and the ad was super fucking cheesy and had some gay couple in it with the whole “wow my polyps are gone and I can smell again! thank you dupixent!” schtick while they’re like baking cookies with their presumably-adopted daughter and throwing flour at each other playfully (no polyps stopping me, eh) and I am just like sitting there in the waiting room, trying to make as little physical contact with these plasticky seats as possible but also avoiding putting unnecessary weight on my knees and/or feet due to arthritis reasons, perched on the edge of this chair thinking like wow... even gay people have autoimmune disorders huh. we’ve really made it. and that’s my story.

[clatterbane]

A little update: I am already in significantly less pain today!

I actually started taking the few meds I had squirelled back when I saw those prescriptions had disappeared from the form, after I found out there should be more. And felt kinda like a drug dealer splitting up the contents of a pregabalin capsule, to start back on the reduced dosage. 😅

It does apparently take at least a couple-few weeks for the pregabalin/Lyrica to really start kicking in, as I was thinking.

But, I have been very pleasantly surprised, under the circumstances, to get a good demonstration of just how much the tramadol had been helping with the nerve pain!

And it may also be more effective after a while of regular use, given the additional SNRI effects? I've managed two nights in a row of decent sleep! 🎉🎈🎉 And realized earlier today that it had been several whole hours since Ghost Foot had been screaming at me enough from whatever realm it's in, to get distracting!

(I did not realize that it did have the SNRI effects too, or I would have been much warier of taking the stuff. Given some reactions I've had to explicit SNRIs in the past. 😰 It may also be a good thing that (a) my seizure threshold is not already lowered now by unrecognized celiac deficiencies, and (b) the pregabalin is indeed an anticonvulsant, and may help balance out that tendency. No noticeable problems, during the months I was on regular daily tramadol. *fingers crossed*)

Also relevant there, and I wish I had known when I had it prescribed before (though as needed then) in the '90s, when I was also on a variety of antidepressants: Tramadol and Serotonin Syndrome.

Another interesting link: Is tramadol a risky pain medication? (Short answer: not particularly.)

Mostly as a sidenote:

When first approved in 1995, tramadol was not considered an opiate (like morphine or oxycodone) even though it acted in similar ways. 

Yeah, I was surprised to learn more recently that it was being treated very differently now, especially with the ongoing US War On Pain Patients. When I was prescribed tramadol before, it was as an alternative to NSAIDs my stomach can't handle--and stronger classic opioids. For the then-presumed knee arthritis, as mentioned as one use in that article.

What I was actually dealing with then wasn't really osteoarthritis (yet), so much as the Amazing Subluxating Kneecaps. (Or nerve pain, for that matter.) I also wasn't taking it on a regular basis. It didn't do much for me then, and I really wasn't expecting it to help now when the hospital Pain Management people decided to put me on it.

Anyway, I have never seemed to do placebos the same way as a lot of other people. Don't know if it's an ND thing, or what. But, I have been honestly impressed at the amount of relief I have already noticed, after just a couple of days back on these meds.

Wasn't really expecting much for a while, and this is a pleasant surprise.

[sappho114]

Shadowtober #4: the_Job

“Then you accept?” Mr. Johnson said with a knowing smile.

“Of course I do. The team I got in mind, on the oth-...”

“Set up a meeting. The hotel or elsewhere. We won’t mind.”

The two Johnsons - a man and a woman, both presumably orks, although the woman didn’t have tusks - sat straight-backed at a small table. They hadn’t touched their drinks, but Romeo had broken his cardinal rule and ordered a steak sandwich. It laid half-finished in a small takeaway bin. Brown cardboard; recycled. They nodded at that when he requested it.

Not many Johnsons gave a tar about the environment when it came to individual actions. It’s not like the individual ones made a difference, anyway. But that’s when they loosened up.

“Yeah,” Romeo said quietly. “Okay. I can do that. I can’t dictate their terms, I can only put you in contact.”

“Acceptable,” Ms. Johnson said curtly.

“You want to be there, too?” Mr. Johnson asked.

“If it isn’t an imposition… I unders-...”

“You can be there, then. My sister won’t mind either.”

Mr. Johnson had a predatory smile to his face, as if the monkey’s paw was curling with the request. Romeo rubbed the back of his neck and stood up anyway.

“Then it’s a deal,” Romeo said enthusiastically.

The two Johnsons shared a look and both stood up. The man grabbed Romeo’s hand and gave him a firm shake - twice in two weeks he was almost flung into the sky by some tusker with a handshake firmer than bad tofu.

“We’ll be in touch,” Ms. Johnson said.

Romeo stood by himself, rubbing his forearm as the pair rounded the outdoor cafe and went down a set of stairs.

City is going to Hell and you’re worried about arthritis. Pull yourself together, Romes. This is good pay. Good work.

I hope.

[callie-ariane]

Good Omens is bankrupting me!

When I get obsessed on a fandom, I get really obsessed.  When I got into Sherlock, I yearned for the Coat.  I managed to get one (hence my icon), but it was a replica and even though it was made specifically for me and to my (very ample) measurements, it cost a couple of hundred quid and not the £1300 that the original Belstaff Milford would have cost (not, of course, that there would have been one in my size anyway).

But now even I think I may have gone too far in my new Good Omens obsession.  From the first viewing I had such a yearning for a particular item.  For five weeks I told myself it was stupid to even think about it.  I still thought about it a lot.  And I wanted it so much.

On Wednesday the Crowley on my shoulder finally out-whispered the Aziraphale on my other shoulder and sent me to eBay again, where the damned thing was on sale for half its as-new price.

I bought it (oh, thank you, Crowley. /sarcasm).  The vendor and I had a zillion problems getting it from him to me, including us having to meet in person to make the hand-over because Royal Mail wouldn’t insure it for its full value. But I took possession of my ridiculous extravagance on Friday.

I’ve not spent this much on any one thing since I paid the deposit on my flat.  *cries*

But oh I’m stupidly happy.  And very poor.

Whoever it was in the Good Omens production crew who decided to give Crowley such a ridiculously beautiful watch ought to be taken out and severely beaten.

If anyone’s interested in the stuff that came with it, and why I nearly had a heart attack when the vendor walked in with a box 15″/38 cm square, prompting my terrified cry of “How big is the bloody thing?!” there are more pics under the cut.

So you charge the battery by laying the watch onto a custom-built charger.  There are two of them: a ‘portable’ one (insert hollow laugh here at the word ‘portable’) and a ‘home base’ charger.  This is the portable one:

Yeah, very portable(!)  Thankfully I don’t go away from home very often, cos it’d take up half the space in an overnight bag.

But at least I don’t have to carry the home base charger around.  I don’t know what Devon were thinking when they made this part of the package (and it wasn’t mentioned in the eBay ad, hence my panic when the vendor brought me such a huge box).  I guess Devon just thought, “We’re making a stupidly stunning watch; let’s make an equally extravagant charger to match.”

This is the home charger:

I mean ... for crying out loud!  Who’d use that when you’ve got the portable one anyway?! It’s going to end up in a cupboard taking up storage space.

The vendor had done his best and packed everything into a too-large box with lots of bubble wrap and packing peanuts but it was a nightmare getting it all home. Piccadilly on a Friday night was slow nose-to-tail traffic and not a single taxi was free anyway, so I had to lug the massive box on the Tube and train and then get a cab home.  Thankfully the box wasn’t too heavy or I’d have been in real trouble. Presumably this was divine punishment for allowing myself to be tempted into a purchase which has massively drained my savings, and which will probably dramatically increase my home insurance as well (I haven’t dared ring the insurers yet but must do that soon).

And yes, the watch is really heavy.  I’ll probably end up with arthritis on top of everything else!

And no, I won’t dare wear it on the journey to and from work, for fear of getting mugged.

But god/satan dammit, I’m happy.

[moonbeammuses-a]

// whoo, more health things. I need to vent/ramble, and just put what’s going on down, so feel free to keep on scrolling. i’m fine where it counts ♥

i’ve had chronic pain in my shoulders and back since i was like.. eleven? And for a good decade, it was always brushed off as “growing pains” or me being overdramatic. I’ve always been pathetically weak regarding arm strength, but come from a family that expects you to work til you’re broken, but also if you’re under 40, you “don’t know what its like to be tired yet,” so any actual concerns were dismissed. Every Time. (Except for by my Granny, but i was always her baby haha)

Anyway, I’ll stop griping about my family. About 8 years ago, things got infinitely worse really suddenly, (probably from my jui-jitsu class and a few other life things i won’t get into) and ever since, my shoulders have gone through the wringer. Everywhere from being “okay i guess?” all the way to “my arm has been in a sling for two weeks and i can’t hold a cup, but this is fine.” 

I predicted back then that I had somehow torn a muscle or tendon in both of my shoulders, as well as being certain i have arthritis in my shoulders and hands, if nowhere else. There followed years of dismissive nonsense that gave me a sort of imposter syndrome about my own pain. like, if i wasn’t literally writhing in pain at that moment, i had been pretty much conditioned to question whether it ever even was “that bad” (it was).

All of this leads me to today. I got an MRI recently on my dominant arm, and wouldn’t you fucking know it, I was right all along. Major tear in a major tendon of my rotator cuff, and osteoarthritis in the joints. Along with a few other, more minor, diagnoses that all basically mean pain and inflammation. It’s safe to presume off this information that my left arm is in the same state, though my doc and I think a different muscle is torn due to how different the pain feels. 

And while all of that SUCKS, i feel like, so goddamn vindicated? I was right the entire time, i wasn’t being a hypochondriac. My pain was real and valid and I was NOT faking it. I wanna mail a copy of my MRI report to all my family members with ‘kiss my ass’ written at the bottom but that’s a bit too petty for me. I’ve got a weird mix of feelings about all of this if I’m honest. 

The GOOD news, is that I received a steroid shot in that shoulder today that SHOULD help my pain for the next few weeks, or even months (fingers crossed on that) and might be able to better manage my pain. Which might mean more productivity here, because I should be able to sit up and use my arms and be in less pain. 

Gonna be sore as hell for a couple days while the medicine works its magic, but then i should feel MUCH better. I am excited!

[paleorecipecookbook]

Food Allergy vs. Food Intolerance: Why the Difference Matters

Although we have a lot to learn about food intolerances, ever-growing research proves that they aren’t psychological or make-believe. Read on to learn the differences between a true food allergy and a food intolerance, some examples of common food intolerances, and how healing your gut can, in some cases, alleviate the problem.

Food intolerances are very real—and can have serious consequences if they’re ignored. Check out this article to find out the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance. #wellness #chriskresser

Food Allergy vs. Food Intolerance—They’re Not the Same

Food allergies are on the rise, especially in children:

Between 1997 and 2011 food allergies increased by 50 percent in American children (1)

Today, around 1 in 13 children and 1 in 25 adults in the United States suffer from a life-threatening food allergy (2)

In a true food allergy, a person’s immune system produces immunoglobulin E (IgE) antibodies in response to her consumption of a particular food. These IgE antibodies initiate a cascade of events that can affect the skin (hives), the respiratory tract (wheezing), and/or the GI tract (vomiting).

In severe anaphylactic cases, an allergic reaction can be life threatening if not treated immediately with epinephrine.

Even more common than food allergies, food intolerances are estimated to affect up to 20 percent of the population in industrialized countries. (3, 4, 5) Food intolerances are not IgE mediated and are thought to be caused by specific enzyme deficiencies, impaired food absorption, and other GI issues. (6) In many cases, other immunoglobulin antibody responses may also be involved (IgA and IgG)—but more on that later.

Food intolerances generally don’t trigger the dramatic or immediate reactions associated with food allergies, but they’re every bit as real, with varied symptoms like nausea, vomiting, respiratory problems, brain fogginess, and skin reactions such as eczema.

If unmanaged, food intolerances can have serious health consequences too. If you don’t know you have a food intolerance and keep eating the offending food(s), you increase your risk of developing an autoimmune disease, neurological disorders, and more. (7, 8, 9, 10)

Five Common Food Intolerances

Let’s explore some common food intolerances that affect millions of people.

1. Celiac Disease

Often confused with a wheat allergy, celiac disease (CD) is not an allergy but rather an autoimmune disease, characterized by an inflammatory immune response to wheat gluten, rye, barley, and related proteins. Affecting 1 to 5 percent of Americans, CD usually manifests as GI disturbances like abdominal pain and diarrhea, but many patients with CD have no GI symptoms and may not even know they have it. (11, 12)

These atypical, or “silent,” forms of CD are far from harmless. Silent CD is associated with higher rates of iron deficiency, anemia, osteoporosis, neurological symptoms, and a nearly fourfold increase in the risk of death. (13, 14)

2. Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance

CD screening only tests for antibodies to a few components found in gluten, but people can react to many other components of wheat and gluten in a condition called non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS). (15, 16, 17, 18, 19) No robust diagnosis yet exists for NCGS. The best clinical description is: “a reaction to gluten that resolves when gluten is removed from the diet, and CD and allergy have been ruled out.” (20)

Despite its inexact diagnosis, NCGS is real—and studies are proving it. Double-blind, placebo-controlled trials indicate that a subset of people who do not have CD or a wheat allergy can and do indeed react horribly to gluten when they don’t know whether they are being given gluten or not. (21, 22, 23)

Up to one in 20 Americans may have NCGS, which can affect the brain, skin, endocrine system, stomach, liver, blood vessels, and more. NCGS can produce a wide range of symptoms: (24, 25, 26)

Bloating

Abdominal pain

Gas and related pain

Diarrhea

Constipation

Tiredness

Headache

Anxiety

Foggy mind

Eczema

Chronic fatigue

Joint and muscle pain

Asthma

Depression

Unfortunately, many health professionals still don’t take NCGS seriously, which does a huge disservice to those suffering. In fact, NCGS, especially if undiagnosed, can be even more serious than CD. Epithelial damage to the gut, systemic immune activation, and systemic inflammation are all linked to NCGS. (27) By continuing to eat gluten, patients with NCGS are at higher risk of developing arthritis, thyroiditis, multiple sclerosis, ataxia, diabetes, and even amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s disease). (28, 29, 30, 31)

3. FODMAP Intolerance

Sometimes, people who think they are sensitive to gluten may actually be intolerant to FODMAPs, or fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols. FODMAPs, a type of carbohydrate, are found in many common foods besides wheat, including:

High-fructose fruits

Asparagus

Brussels sprouts

Garlic

Onions

In the case of FODMAP intolerance, the GI tract isn’t fully digesting and absorbing these short-chain carbs, which are then fermented by gut bacteria, creating gas and increasing fluid movement into the large bowel. (32)

FODMAP intolerance is common in people with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO). By adhering to a low-FODMAP diet, up to 75 percent of people have relief from functional gut disorder symptoms, especially IBS. (33, 34, 35, 36, 37). However, a low-FODMAP diet is not advisable long term because it can decrease microbial diversity and density of beneficial bacterial species. (38, 39)

4. Lactose Intolerance

Up to 65 percent of the world’s population—literally billions of people—may be lactose intolerant. (40) Lactase, the enzyme that digests the milk sugar lactose, is present in infants and young children, presumably to digest breast milk, but many people don’t maintain full lactase function beyond childhood. (41, 42)

Why Eat Dairy, Anyway?

Most iterations of the Paleo diet don’t include dairy. But, if well tolerated, dairy can be a nutritious and beneficial part of a Paleo template. If you’re not eating fish heads, bones, and skin, getting adequate calcium without dairy isn’t easy. Pastured dairy is a great source of fat-soluble vitamins A, D, and K2 and is a primary source of conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), a beneficial, naturally occurring trans fat thought to have anti-cancer properties. (43)

5. IgG- and IgA-Mediated Food Intolerances

Many prominent immunologists argue that some (maybe even most) food intolerances do activate the immune system, but rather than being IgE mediated like a food allergy, they are mediated by IgG and IgA antibodies. IgG- and IgA-mediated food intolerances are thought to be related to increased gut permeability and are often implicated in Crohn’s disease and other GI conditions. (44, 45) If the gut is permeable, food molecules can escape and be detected by the immune system.

Symptoms of these intolerances range from allergy-like reactions such as rashes and asthma to GI symptoms like cramps, constipation, and diarrhea and neurological symptoms such as migraines. (46) Unlike IgE-mediated responses, IgA- and IgG-mediated responses can take days or even months to occur, which makes identifying the culprit(s) more difficult. (47)

How to Overcome a Food Intolerance

People with food allergies generally have them for life, although children sometimes can “outgrow” allergies to milk, egg, wheat, or soy. But you might be able to do something about a food intolerance by healing your gut.

Food intolerance circles back to compromised gut health. In most cases, a food isn’t being digested properly and/or or food molecules are getting past the gut lining when they shouldn’t be able to.

Here are some ways to fix your gut:

Increase stomach acid using supplementation and herbs. Stomach acid is needed for digestion. Although many people think they have too much stomach acid, they may in fact have too little.

Get tested and treated for SIBO or intestinal pathogens to reestablish a healthy gut flora.

Eat sauerkraut and other fermented foods and consider taking a probiotic supplement.

Eat fermentable fiber, as prebiotics can be even more effective than probiotics at improving the microbiota profile.

Drink bone broth. The gelatin, glycine, and glutamine in bone broth all have beneficial effects for the gut.

Should You Get Tested for a Food Intolerance?

The most budget-friendly way to identify food intolerances is a 30-day Paleo reset diet, as I’ve outlined in The Paleo Cure, where the most common offenders (dairy, grains, legumes, sweeteners, processed foods, industrial seed oils, and alcohol) are removed from the diet for 30 or even 60 days and then systematically reintroduced.

If your suspected food intolerances seem linked to severe reactions or conditions like inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), IBS, or ulcerative colitis, the Paleo autoimmune protocol (AIP) diet, which goes a step beyond Paleo by also initially removing eggs, nightshades, coffee, nuts, and seeds, might be prudent. In a study published in 2017, 11 of the 15 IBD patients who adopted an AIP diet achieved clinical remission in just six weeks! (48) This further supports the idea that the gut and food intolerances are intricately linked.

But because reactions don’t always appear right away, these rudimentary dietary experiments can be incomplete. The next option would be IgA- and IgG-based blood tests.

A lot of controversy surrounds blood tests that screen for food intolerances based on IgA and IgG levels. Some scientists and immunologists claim that levels of IgG and/or IgA antibodies in the blood merely reveal that a patient has been exposed to certain foods, not that they are necessarily intolerant to these foods. (49, 50, 51) I interviewed Dr. Aristo Vojdani, a respected immunologist with many peer-reviewed papers, on this very subject. We explored some of the reasons why not all food intolerance tests are created equal, such as how testing cooked versus raw foods can yield different outcomes, but not all tests measure both. (52)

It’s clear we need more research surrounding reliable, reproducible, and scientifically founded food intolerance testing. However, food exclusion diets based on IgG and/or IgA antibody testing have provided relief for symptoms of:

Ulcerative colitis (53)

IBD (54)

Migraines (55)

Skin disorders (56)

At my clinic, we use the IgG/IgA tests offered by Cyrex Labs. (Your healthcare provider will have to order this for you as this is not a direct-to-consumer lab.) Array 3X identifies gluten and gluten-related protein intolerances. If a patient has celiac disease or NCGS, they are very likely to have other food sensitivities, and I might follow up with Array 4 or Array 10. (57)

Now I’d like to hear from you. Did you know the details of a food allergy vs. food intolerance? Have you ever been dismissed or mocked for claiming to have a food intolerance? Let me know in the comments!

The post Food Allergy vs. Food Intolerance: Why the Difference Matters appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Source: http://chriskresser.com March 09, 2019 at 09:29PM

[kanaidblack]

The new Villainous short, an analysis

Because I have nothing better to do on a weekend! Yay!

 I’m pretty sure that at this point everybody knows that a new Villainous short was released today (by “today” I mean November 4 of 2017, if for some reason you are reading this in another day); there’s a ton of references in the short, and since it was in Spanish and at the time I’m writing this there’s not English version of the short (fan made or CN made), I decided to write a “small” analysis of the short video. It’s more likely that by the time I end this, tons of people already posted something like this, but I want to do this anyway. Notice that this is NOT a resume of the video.

The video starts with this:

Warning!

We are not responsible for the physical, mental and emotional damage that the comments of the Lord and Master Black Hat may provoke in the audience. It is recommended use safety googles or a helmet when you visualize this video. The prolonged exposition to this show may cause sanity loss, soul loss, hair loss, nail loss, welts, itch, hard snot, stomach ache, headache, mononucleosis, tonsil inflammation, farts, desire to pee (it says “desire to go to the bathroom”; I don’t know other places but in Mexico that means you wanna pee), arthritis and swollen eyes, spasms, uncontrollable fits of laughter, urge to wear a hat, villainy, extreme evilness, sharp fangs or teeth, hyperactivity, among others. Discretion is advised. This section is mere filler and had nothing to do with the previous one, you should stop reading before you regret it. We don’t understand why are you still reading. Seriously, nobody reads the warnings and ended watching it (the video) anyway.

Then we cut to this:

Black Hat Organization

Villain Orientation Videos

Vol. 1 of 666.

Then the video starts with tons of TV’s showing video of several Cartoon Network’s villains as the intro of “Black Hat Organization Lost Cases: Ooo, with Black Hat”. A narrator’s voice greets the watchers because it means that we want to stop being an annoyance at became great villains thanks to the capacitation of the video. Something that called my attention was the narrator’s voice. There’s a Latin-American YouTube channel that dubs fan shorts and comics from Villainous, and the narrator’s voice sounds like the Black Hat’s voice of that channel when he dubs narrators; either CN contacted that guy to work with them (which I think is pretty impossible) or the narrator is Alan himself.

Black Hat then greets the watchers but is shortly cut because he starts to insulted them as he goes mad; later he presents himself, but he says we already know it because, apparently, the short is part of the “Black Hat Organization villain orientation video ahora en español” (now in Spanish) VHS, volume 1, which apparently we bought; according to Black Hat, the point of the video is that he “will mock of the pathetic forces of evil and we will give him our money”. Later we cut to several scenes of the Lich King only to later change to Count Lemongrab, much for Black Hat annoyance. For the rest of the video Black Hat complains about how Lemongrab is, in his opinion, a pathetic villain and points other stuff too.

Regarding Lemongrab as a villain we learn this:

Black Hat says than Lemongrab voice is annoying and that he’s an idiot for not having security as he sleeps.

He shows surprise when he realizes Lemongrab has ears (as he picks his own ear).

He complains about how Lemongrab’s “minions” are “as sweet as 5.0.5.”

Lemongrab’s villain speech is pathetic and that his sentences are too long.

He says that Lemongrab has no class (as Lemongrab strips) and is ashamed of him.

Lemongrab is pathetic because he allowed the Pup Gang to be disrespectful at him.

Lemongrab’s torture chamber lacks of torture devices.

He is “a crybaby, incompetent, poorly dressed guy that only shrieks” (he calls him that as Bubblegum tries to talk with him when he’s torturing Finn, Jake and the Pup Gang.)

His mistakes are: being a big piece of… lemon (he clearly wanted to insult him in this part), being a crybaby and not hiring Black Hat Organization.

However, Black Hat praised Lemongrab when he wanted to eat the apple because that was “fruit cannibalism” and becomes proud when he “tried to eat” Peppermint Butler. He was also pleased when he blasted the Pup Gang and when he tortured them and Finn and Jake.

He ended his analysis by calling Lemongrab “deplorable” in his file. 

However, in Black Hat’s opinion Princess Bubblegum (whom he calls “the bubblegum girl”) is THE REAL villain in Ooo because:

After she spikes the dirt Lemongrab was eating he says that she looks like the most intelligent person in the video and even ask Flug is she wasn’t really the villain instead of Lemongrab.

When she says that she knew a way of be her past self all the time Black Hat says with joy: “clearly this girl has a disturbed mind. I’d love to extirpate it from her…”

When Finn is putting the pieces of the candy people on Bubblegum Black Hat says that “is one of the most evil rituals he knows” because she’s using “parts of his minions” to boost herself and he says that that’s pretty effective. Then proceeds to say that he is going to remove an arm off Flug, presumably to boost himself like her.

Black Hat asks if he’s really the only one who sees that Bubblegum is more diabolic than Lemongrab, especially because she created him “and condemned him into a life of suffering”.

He says that Bubblegum is pretty intelligent by “pretending she agreed in her rival’s terms when in reality she’s sending the worst of her society” and that is a really great villain lesson to learn.

He, however shows great disappointment because she didn’t learn of her past mistakes (by cloning Lemongrab); he even says that the situation is going to became worst because “it will end in one of them eating the other”.

He praised her when she was cutting the legs of a candy with her scissors, but the scene apparently became too much for him later.

Black Hat also:

Wanted to see Lemongrab breaking Manfried because “wanted to see his sweets organs”.

Was disgusted of Cinnamon Bun.

Every time Finn and Bubblegum shows affection to each other he becomes really angry.

He says that Bubblegum and Finn should squeezed Lemongrab instead of putting a note. He proceeds to say that he will show an example and calls for 5.0.5. to come.

When Bubblegum rejects Finn Black Hat laughs and says “you can see the part when his heart breaks in half!”

By the way, the information of Lemongrab’s file says this:

Count Lemongrab

Subject: Lemongrab.

Age: ???

Gender: Male.

Species: Fruit.

Taste: Sour.

Status: Alive (unfortunaly).

Abilities: None.

Occupation: Count.

Creation of the ruler of…

…grab has become independet of…

becoming in the dictator of…

war against the Candy Kingdom…

eating his own clone to…

and satisfied his own hungry of po…

the regimen of the Count Lemong…

At the moment he doesn’t represent a…

for the powerful Candy Kingdom.

creator, the scientist and prin…

Bonnibel Bubblegum alias Prin…

he’s nothing more than one lemon o….

ridiculous and pathetic.

The video ends with a live action Black Hat “squeezing” Lemongrab and with a special thanks list, aka “Black Hat’s black list”. In italics I put the ones I recognized and I could translate; the names in normal letter where the ones I didn’t recognize, even if I traslated their names. The names in black are the ones who have diferent names in spanish, but for some reason were already in English.

Flug, Vilgax, Yellow Diamond, Marvin (the Martian?), Lex Luthor, Peppermint Butler, Cambot, Phil Ken Sebben, Top Cat. The Red Guy, Mojo Jojo, Mandark, Excusator, Nergal, Katz, Hammerhead, Aku, Grodd, Siniestro.

Snorkel, Sticky Stud, Secuencia, Diego, Diego Mejia, Gafael, Kimmy, Kim, Black Manta, Spuntaneous, Salmonella Fitzgerald, Him, The Beast, The Kanker Sisters, Father, King Ramses, Malek, Medusea.

Some of the names where recognizables others… not that much. Who are those people? Animators? Future characters?

Regardless of that, we did learn lots about Black Hat:

In Black Hat’s opinion, pineapples are evil, but lemons are useless.

According to him, once he puked on a past minion’s face and that’s the reason Flug works for him now; he says this when he plays with the red skull in his desk, maybe implying that that’s his past minion’ skull.

He says that minions should taste their master’s food first as a safety precaution.

Watching Lemongrab being punched by Finn and Bubblegum make him laugh so much that in one point he loosed control over his powers and the video cuts momentarily to this beautiful picture:

He also laughs maniacally when Peppermint Butler is crying over the spice serum in his eye and you can hear a little echo in his laugh, perhaps because he wasn’t in full control of his powers at that point.

He stays that “(a minion) only learn their lesson if they can see light at the end of the tunnel”, and that’s why he complains about Lemongrab’s excessive long sentences.

He IS the original Black Hat, the one who created the “black hat” type of villain in movies.

According to him, a real villain shouldn’t let a pubert to be disrespectful at him.

The sound of a hero screaming in pain is “always put a smile in his face”, but then the camera show Black Hat not being happy at all, causing that the person with him (Flug? The narrator? Alan!?) to laugh awkwardly.

“Rule #43 of the manual: Do not stop attacking until your enemy’s heart stops beating!”

But there are other things that fans may not notice:

The fact that Black Hat wants to rip off one of Flug’s arms and use it in a similar ritual than Bubblegum’s to boost his power may suggest that Flug is in fact, not human, but a supernatural creature.

He says that 5.0.5. is indeed a failed experiment. Alan already confirmed that in his Pixelart conference, but now we have an actual canon confirmation.

Black Hat’s manor may have a torture chamber.

There’s a manual of how to be evil, apparently.

Sometimes you can hear “Black Hat Organization”, other you can hear “Organización Black Hat”.

Black Hat’s Organization “please stand by” picture is Cambot fighting against one of Black duplicates (specifically, the short one) who is using a fish as a weapon.

Technical difficulties. Don’t go away! 

The short was clearly archive footage.

 Is more likely that Alan was the live action Black Hat at the end of the video.

BLACK HAT HAD A MOUSTACHE!

See!?

(By the way, why is thay woman smiling? Did she saw a hero coming to her rescue? Is she smiling because the photo? Is she happy because Black Hat is about to kill her? Is she insane as Demencia? Is she Demencia’s ancestor? Is that Demencia!?

 It was clearly that the video was shoot just after 5.0.5. creation, because you can see a picture of him glued at the VHS tape’s case.

By the way, in a bigger version of the image you can see clearly that Demencia’s feet are in her head and Flug is in shorts with Black Hat too close to him.

You can take that as you want.

Also, this picture.

Black Hat organization

Introduces

The New Security System!

Batteries not included.

If you call now we will include this key chain.

Pieces come separately; if you don’t buy anything we’ll keep your money!

[leoandnemmie-blog]

hi! i love your account ^^ i was wondering if i could group reacting to an MC who has health conditions (like i have a heart condition) that makes her weak or unable to do a lot of physical activities? i would just love to see how they would react to her.

I remember you! You sent me a match up like… A month ago? And if memory serves correctly, I paired you with Jumin! You sound awesome. I hope your heart condition isn’t too bad…

I did RFA separately and a group one including RFA and Minor Trio, the group one will be under the cut.

No, hun. You don’t love my account, I love you. ;D It was D E S T I N Y. How does this make sense, wtf Leo.

OK… I’m sorry, I’ll write now… ^^;; ~Leo

Yoosung Kim:

You were diagnosed with arthritis when you were a child, Oligo-articular JIA to be specific.

You thought you were going to get better in a few years but you were one of the unlucky people who had it for a long time.

You didn’t feel the need to mention it to Yoosung because it never came up.

Besides, it barely affected you at this point. You always managed to get through the day.

But this one was different…

You were walking home with Yoosung and your legs were hurting quite a bit.

You were lagging behind a bit so Yoosung asked you if something was wrong and you simply brushed it off as you being tired.

He then bought up the childish concept of having a race to a nearby tree in attempt to make you less tired somehow.

Not wanting to let him down, you accepted.

You were ahead of him but halfway through you felt the pain in your leg and it was unbearable.

You yelped out in pain and Yoosung stopped, crouching down to see what had happened.

He was confused for a moment before you explained that nothing had really happened. You told him about your arthritis and how you were getting surgery next month for it.

He helps you out before your surgery a lot, even to the point when it’s sometimes unbearable.

He’s still a bit overprotective after the surgery.

But you know he means well.

Zen / Hyun Ryu:

You had been suffering from back pains from time to time over the past 2 weeks.

You had been diagnosed with sciatica when you went to physiotherapist.

You didn’t feel the need to tell Zen because they told you that it would be over in a less than a year and not to worry too much.

This one time you were watching one of Zen’s musicals and when you stood up to clap, you felt a sharp pain run down your back and you immediately sat back down.

You quickly register the concern on his face and he steps of stage and asks you what’s going on.

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she? Not that far along from the looks of it… Maybe she’s one of those people who have a small bump. Anyways, it’s probably just a contraction, don’t worry too much Zen.” Someone from the audience spoke loudly.

“Jagiya, w-what?” His face was fixed in an expression of surprise

“Zen, I’m not pregnant.”

You told him you’d explain on the way home and when you were feeling a bit better you were both on your way.

After you told him he face palmed and began apologising since he wasn’t there for you.

But you tell him it’s OK, you didn’t tell him which made it your fault.

He sorts out an exercise routine with you physiotherapist and makes sure that you get better quicker.

Thanks to him, your recovery is completed 2 months earlier than expected.

Jaehee Kang:

Come on, let’s be real here. She’s the one who had an idea of what was going on before you did.

Symptoms of high blood pressure are practically unnoticeable Like me

You were amazed when she suspects it though.

She forces you to go take a blood test and it turns out she was right.

Immediately begins taking MUCH more care of your health.

She makes sure that your food isn’t too salty.

Gets rid of most of the alcohol in the house.

Begins to make you herbal tea instead of coffee because caffeine is not good for you right now!

If you smoke, she’ll gradually get you to quit.

She won’t make you go cold turkey out of nowhere though.

Also makes you sleep a lot more. 

Ty mama Jaehee.

She’ll get you to exercise with her, will even invite Zen to exercise with the two of you sometimes.

She’s also on top of your medication, not in that way, she knows exactly what time to give you which set of pills and whether or not you’ve taken them if she isn’t around.

She’s so glad when your health begins to improve.

She honestly doesn’t know what she’d do without you.

Jumin Han:

You noticed around 2 months ago that your heartbeat would skyrocket out of nowhere sometimes.

You would get dizzy sometimes and you didn’t know why.

Jumin would ask you if you were alright and you would just tell him you were dehydrated or tired.

You got Jaehee to book you a doctors appointment, you didn’t tell Jumin because you thought that it was something minor and not something he should be concerned with.

He was even more concerned when Jaehee told him instead of you.

Would’ve got driver Kim to drive him to the hospital if he didn’t have so much work.

The second he walks into the penthouse the two of you share, he demands answers.

You murmur out that you were diagnosed with atrial fibrillation.

He doesn’t quite know what that is, so you tell him that it’s a form of arrhythmia.

All signs of anger leave his face as he wraps his arms around you and offers words of consolation.

He tells you that no matter what he’ll love you and it’s true.

Will keep up to date with your medication.

Makes someone keep track of whether or not you take them.

Will do and does do anything in his power to make you feel healthy again.

Anything for you.

707 / Luciel / Saeyoung:

You were diagnosed with hypoglycemia.

You went to the doctor’s a week ago and somehow Saeran had gotten wind of it and mentioned it to his twin in a conversation since he presumed that he knew.

Lol. No.

Immediately hacks your medical records. Do not try this at home kids

You’re honestly not surprised, he was bound to have found out one day, you just hoped it wouldn’t have been this way.

You tried explaining but he simply raised up a finger to silence you.

For a moment you were scared that there was gonna be an argument.

But he just tells you that it’s gonna be alright, that he’s there for you and that no matter what he’ll always love you.

He comes to your appointments unless something comes up. Even if he is forced to wait outside he waits. 

Always gets the right medication for you and remembers what time to give it to you.

Heck, he even managed to make a cat robot tell you when it’s time to take your medicine again.

He’d do anything and everything to make you better again.

Group:

The entire RFA was holding a fundraiser.

All of you had to run at least 100m.

You thought you could manage that but apparently not.

You had damaged a part of your cuneiform a few weeks ago and the doctor told you it would take at least 4 months to heal.

They also told you that you shouldn’t walk too much, forget running.

When the race began you were fine.

But 50m in you felt too much pain in your foot and practically screamed in pain as you fell down.

The race promptly stopped and in a flash V was in front of you, asking if you were alright.

You nod your head but the Jaehee steps out of the crowd, asking if anyone nearby was a medic.

Seven pushed his glasses up and asked Vanderwood to come forth.

Vanderwood groaned as he came forward, claiming to only know a bit of first aid.

More than enough for this though.

He gets Yoosung to grab a first aid kit and Jumin skillfully calls an ambulance.

You can also see Zen try to calm everyone down and progress with the event alongside Jaehee.

It wasn’t really going great since Saeran kept yelling...

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO TO MC!?”

V attempted to calm him down.

Oops. Wrong guy for the job.

It takes Seven promising to get him some ice cream for him to calm down a little.

Once you’re at the hospital you get told that you need to stay there for a day minimum.

Everyone visits you, including Vanderwood at some point claiming that Seven forced him go.

Lol. We know he did it out of the goodness of his heart.

Yoosung comes along with Zen and you end up playing board games with them and they tell you about their days.

Jumin also comes, most of the time for short visits, and tells you what the doctor told him and what his new ideas for C&R are. He’ll ask you for your opinions too and tries to get your mind off of the pain.

V comes and shows you some of his new photographs, he gets you a drawing pad and some pencils so that you can draw.

Jaehee tells you little tips about how to keep yourself better.

Even after you’re let out of the hospital, they’ll constantly ask you how your doing and visit more often.

Honestly, with their help you became better so much quicker than you thought you would’ve.