#press your luck 2019

[emmy-the-dragoness]

I can't believe since season 6 started, I've been eagerly hoping and praying for an ABC Elizabeth Banks revival Whamzilla and look what was in the commercial last night…..! /pos

HOLY CRAP DID I MANIFEST HIM JUST LIKE THAT?? YOOO!! THIS IS WILD

[restinslices]

Kinktober Day 1 - Pegging & Sex Tape

Johnny Cage X Female!Reader

Word Count: 2019

Summary: Johnny’s acting career hasn’t been going the best, so you decide to make a different type of movie with him

CW: Pegging, sex tape, feminization, mommy kink, fingering (male receiving), Johnny is a soft sub, reader a lil mean

A/N: Hey y'all! I typically post drabble smut or headcanons so I'm a lil rusty but we'll use this as practice. See y'all tomorrow! Hope y'all enjoy! MINORS DNI

Times had been hard on your pretty boy. He could try to use all his acting skills to pretend to be his happy and normal self, but it'd never work on you. 

You could understand why his spirits had been so low. Everything around him began shrinking - his starlight, the amount of money he had, his social circle, his following, everything. He was forced to watch as everyone started to slowly forget about him. 

He had tried everything. He auditioned for practically every role his manager could find for him. He posted on social media, participated in trends, lowered his standards when it came to scripts, he was trying anything he could think of to extend his fifteen minutes.

He hadn’t thought of everything though. That was okay. That’s where you came in.

“We should just make a sex tape” you suggested while you two cuddled one night. “Then we can pretend it got leaked. Celebrities do it all the time. You really think all of those leaks are accidents? Yeah right! It’ll put a spotlight on your name. If all else fails, maybe people will pay to see you naked”.

Johnny didn’t need much convincing. He even came up with using one of his phones rather than an actual good camera. Said it would look authentic. Would make the “leak” more realistic. 

That’s what you kept thinking of as you stretched him with your fingers. “How'd I get such a filthy slut like you, hm?”. His back pressed against your bare chest, his hands holding his legs apart, giving the camera the full view of his erection and your two fingers moving in and out of his hole. 

“Luck?” he joked. Of course he had some smart comment to say. Wouldn't be him if he didn't. His head fell back in response to your fingers making a scissoring motion, a low whine passing his lips. 

A thought crossed your mind. A thought that gave you full confidence that this “accidental leak” would go exactly as planned. “Look at the camera baby”, but Johnny always had a problem with following instructions. That was fine. The longer this went on, the better. 

You feigned a disappointed sigh as you pulled your two fingers out of his hole, your arousal growing when Johnny sent the most pathetic look your way. And this was the man that convinced Hollywood he was some big shot playboy? No wonder he was an actor. It took real skill to lie like he did. “Why'd-”. 

“I said look at the camera and you ignored me. Your brain shouldn't be all that mushy yet. I only got two fingers inside you”. 

Gods, he was so cute and pitiful. The way he turned in your lap, his legs straddling you, hands resting on your shoulders. “I’m sorry” his bottom lip poked out, making you roll your eyes and push him off you. 

“I'm not sure I even wanna fuck you anymore, Johnny”. 

A complete and utter lie. Your desire to see him fall apart on your strap was still strong, but denial would add more intrigue to the video. “If you're not listening to me, maybe that's your way of saying you don't want me”. 

His head shook, concerned eyes following you as you got to your feet. “I do need you. I want you”. 

“Yeah?”. His serious tone made your heart squeeze a little bit, and you wondered if maybe you should've whispered in his ear that you were only playing before you got up. Too late now. He'd catch up. “You want me to make you feel good?”. He nodded several times, getting to his knees and placing his hands on his thighs, ignoring his needy cock. 

You motioned towards the phone, which watched like some sad pervert. “Tell the camera how bad you need me”. You let out a sigh of relief internally when you saw a look of realization cross his face. Realization, then a look of mischief. 

He took his middle and ring fingers in his mouth, swirling his tongue around them as he looked over at the camera pointed at him. A trail of spit followed his fingers out his mouth, “I need it really bad”. 

“It?”. 

“You”. His fingers circled his hole slowly before he slipped them in, making him let out a breath. “Fuck- I need you to fuck me. Need you to stretch my pussy open”, his breath matched his fingers, which started to speed up. “Don't you wanna stretch my pussy open, mommy? Please-”, his breath hitched when he added another finger. “My fingers aren't enough. Please. Please. I'll listen”. 

You tsked, trying to hide how badly you wanted him. “Keep talking” you instructed. “Can't stay mad at you”. 

Johnny practically rode his fingers. He meant it when he said his fingers weren't enough. They never were. He curled all three fingers inside him, and while that felt good, he needed more. “I need to feel your dick hit that spot inside my pussy. Wanna be under you” he said in between breaths. His free hand gripped one of his pecs, “touch me everywhere. I'll be good. I will”. The rough pad of his thumb rubbed against his nipple, trying to mimic how you'd touch him. Once again it was pleasurable, but he needed you to be the one to do it. “Please…” he added a fourth finger, making him arch in his own touch. “Please hurry. I can't cum if you're not fucking me. My clit needs you so bad” the words came out whiney, full of desperation. His hand moved from his pec, going down his torso until he reached his dick. He wrapped his hand around himself, shuddering when his thumb swiped against his slit. “Shit- I'm ready! Can't you see I'm ready?”. 

He opened his mouth to let another plea fall from his lips, but all that came out was a groan when he felt you grip his hair and tug his head back. 

You looked down at him, watching as he worked his fingers inside his ass and around his dick. “Ple-” his words were cut short when his eyes finally landed on the pink dildo attached to you, wide in girth with an average length. And of course because Johnny was your good and desperate boy, he didn't need to be told that he needed to get you wet. 

He whined at the loss of contact, but knowing he'd finally be getting what he wanted made him spit in both his hands and wrap it around the rubber cock. His hands pulled and twisted around it, taking pleasure in the way your nails scratched his scalp. 

“Good boy” you cooed in response to him taking you all the way in his mouth. His eagerness showed in the way he sucked you; fast and sloppy. Spit dripped from the sides of his mouth, and the sounds of his moans mixed in with gags filled your ears. And as his eyes remained on yours, you couldn't help but wish that the dick attached to you was real. Maybe someone could magic it or something. You'd ask later. 

His breathing was heavy when he finally came off you, not even bothering to wipe the spit on his chin. “Come on! I'm ready!” he whined. “Please fuck me. Haven't I been doing good?”. He moved so he was on his hands and knees, eyes on the camera. “I really really need it”. 

Who were you to deny him?

Especially when he was so cute. 

You kneeled behind him, your hands finding his hips and pulling him close. Inpatient, Johnny reached around to grab your cock and line it up with his entrance. “Johnny, did you ask?”. When he let out a whine, you laughed and squeezed his hips. “I'm just kidding, baby. Go on and don't hurt yourself”. 

Johnny only heard the first part. 

He pushed himself back, forcing himself to take all of you in one thrust. “What'd I just say?!”, he hadn't even heard you scolding him. His moan, which was borderline a scream, was far too loud. You rolled your eyes, watching as he fell to chest. “What an unfortunate consequence that didn't need to happen”. 

“I'm okay” he assured you once his breathing was back to normal. “Can you start moving please? I'm sorry”. 

“Sorry again?” You massaged his hips softly, wanting to offer him a relaxing touch. “You know what? I don't wanna hear anymore apologies, okay? Not even sure I wanna talk to you after how stubborn you've been”. You moved your hips slowly, letting him adjust. “Just talk to the camera. Think you can handle that?”. 

“Yes mommy. Feels so good already” he sighed, the pain leaving his body. “Think I'm close already” he told the camera, “her fingers felt so good. Can I cum again after this? Please?” he turned his head to look at you, earning a slap to one of his ass cheeks, making him groan. 

“Two simple rules Johnny. Talk and look at the camera”

“I'm sorry- FUCK!”

The apology died on his tongue when he felt you pull all the way out then slam back into him. It hurt like hell, but the pleasure it brought him was more intense. His eyes returned back to the perverted camera, but your thrusts remained the same - pulling out slowly then slamming your cock back inside him. 

Once, twice, a few more times later and he felt the knot inside him unravel, cum painting the sheets under him. 

He couldn't cum once and be satisfied, no. His balls still felt full. You still felt too good inside him. But in the same breath, he didn't want you to think he was misbehaving again and be upset with him. 

“Something wrong, baby?” You asked, noticing the tension in his shoulders. You placed a kiss to one, “you feel okay?”. He mumbled some lie about being tired, but you could see straight through it. “Tell me what's on your mind”. 

Johnny, the guy who was known to take hardly anything serious, had the softest sounding voice when he finally asked “are you really mad at me?”. 

You shook your head before placing another kiss on his shoulder, then pecking him on the lips. “I'm not mad at you, babe. You think I'm actually upset with you?”. 

“I wanna cum again… but I didn't wanna ask if you were mad at me”. 

“You wanna cum again?” You asked with a chuckle. Your fingers found one of his nipples, twisting it with your pointer and thumb. Maybe he felt particularly sensitive because of all that was going on in life. Or maybe you were being a bit too harsh. Maybe both. Either way, you could make him feel better. 

Your lips found his, initiating a sloppy open mouth kiss, while your other hand moved from his hips to his other pec. 

Your tongue explored his mouth, swallowing his moans as you started thrusting in him again. This time, you gave him exactly what he wanted. 

Your chest laid against his, letting you be closer to him while you fucked into him, your pace much faster than it was before. “Just- ah! L-like that! Right there!” his moans came out loud and he did nothing to silence them. 

He could feel that special spot inside him being hit repeatedly. He could feel your hands squeeze his pecs and your lips attacking his neck. Everything felt amazing. He wrapped his hand around the tip of cock, making him fuck his hand with every thrust you gave to him. 

“Oh fuck! Mommy!”. 

He imagined himself fisting his cock while watching the video back, and that excited him more. Then there was the thought that other people would get off to this… 

He was such an attention whore. 

“Mommy! Yes!” his chest heaved, feeling himself getting close again. “I love mommy's cock!”. 

His eyes rolled back when he felt you lick a stripe up his neck where you sucked and bit marks into his skin, “yeah?”. 

“Yesyesyes! Fuck! Ah! Mommy fucks my pussy so good! So fucking good! I'm gonna cum again! Gonna make another mess!”. 

The pressure kept building and building until finally it collapsed. He let out a cry, followed by ropes of cum joining his previous orgasm under him. 

You slowed inside him, capturing his lips in another kiss. This one slower and patient. “My good boy” you whispered against his lips. “I bet you look very pretty on camera”. 

Johnny chuckled then pecked your lips, his pleasure being replaced by exhaustion. “You think that was good?”. 

“I think it was perfect”

[uwmspeccoll]

An Indigenous Thanksgiving

Here's a short list of titles for your holiday reading by three noted Indigenous writers: Kevin Loring (Nlaka'pamux; b. 1974); Tiffany Midge (Hunkpapa Lakota; b. 1965); Larissa FastHorse (Sicangu Lakota).

In Loring's play Thanks for Giving (Talonbooks, 2018), a mixed-family Thanksgiving dinner comes face to face with some unsolicited truths and sibling rivalry, where the old ways surrender to new possibilities, but the family's enduring spirit continues forward, ever fierce.

FastHorse's publication presents two of her plays The Thanksgiving Play (2017) and What Would Crazy Horse Do? (2014), published together by Theatre Communications Group in 2021. In The Thanksgiving Play, a group of well-intentioned white teaching artists scramble to create an ambitious "woke" Thanksgiving pageant that also celebrates Native American Heritage Month. Amidst their eagerness to put on the most culturally sensitive show possible, things quickly begin to devolve into the absurd. In What Would Crazy Horse Do?, Calvin and Journey--twins who are the last two members of Marahotah clan -- flounder after their grandfather's passing, and form a suicide pact in case their lives on the reservation become too hopeless.

Midge's Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese's (University of Nebraska Press, 2019) is a compelling collection of the author's satirical musings on life, politics, and identity as a Native woman in America. We leave you with a snippet from Midge's Thanksgiving offering, "Hey America, I'm Taking Back Thanksgiving":

Hey America, Well, it's been fun. We've had a good run. But we're done now. No hard feelings -- it's just not working out. It's not you; it's me, okay? Well, actually it is you, but whatevs. . . . Anyway, I'm breaking up with you. . . . You broke me, America. You broke us. . . . I think you know why. . . . I'm taking back Thanksgiving. It was mine to begin with; you were just appropriating it to satisfy your need for some happy-go-lucky fairy tale in the midst of crimes against humanity. . . . No turkey for you. I'm taking it back. . . . No more cranberries, no more stuffing. And that roasted brussels sprouts dish your grandma makes, . . . I'm taking that too. . . . Don't Tweet me, don't message me. We're done. I hope you figure yourself out and someday get your life and your country together. Good luck. . . . P.S. I flirted with Canada behind your back, but they're not working out either, so don't even think of looking for me there. I've moved on.

While Midge has moved on, we haven't quite yet, and we wish you a pleasant Thanksgiving Day.

View posts from Thanksgivings past.

View other posts from our Native American Literature Collection.

[dear-ao3]

hi it's me the person from like a week ago who's writing that college paper about f1 i was gonna respond and then i immediately forgot lol. the paper is on the different media strategies and narratives of the fia, teams, drivers, gp locations, etc, and how they interact with each other. and also how the ways liberty media and the fia are marketing the sport and drawing in new fans is actually alienating people and suppressing the authenticity of the sport. especially post drive to survive.

i'm a comms major lol i am a massive public relations nerd

also a couple questions: idk how well versed you are in business stuff but how would you say f1 has changed its branding, especially pre liberty media to now? and how were drivers marketed before the era of portraying them as like,, pop stars? when was that shift? also if you have any specific examples (or places i could find examples) related to that stuff or sexism in f1 or just how f1 tries to control the narrative i would appreciate it because jesus christ the lack of research is terrible

ok dump over the essays not due for another like 3 weeks but when its done i can send it to you if you want to read it :)

aaaaa this got lost in my ask box i hope i’m not too late posting it :/ unfortunately i have no real sources for you. i know the shift was post drive to survive, but i think it also depends on the country because like f1 hasn’t really been a huge Thing in the us, but like ferrari has been italys second religion for years. so it might make sense if you focused it on a country. like in the time since dts first released they added two more us gps: miami (2022) and las vegas (2023). i know there’s a lot of british bias, especially by sky sports and sometimes in the penalties as well. i think fernando alonso called that out this year (?) and max also usually mentions it a few times (at brazil this year he definitely called out the british press) i know there’s also interviews of drivers saying post dts people recognized them way more (maybe this was daniel? or lando?) but some of them really like it (daniel) and some of them don’t (like max) you could also play the angle from social media, like george used to i know at least run his own twitter way back in the day (might have been pre f1 but i think he was still running it loosely in 2019 or at least tweeting himself) and now he doesn’t really touch social media At All cause of the comments he gets. lando used to run most of his own social media also until i think like 2020? 2021? (as in i don’t think he had a social media team) before he passed it off to someone else, though i know he still goes on for sure. i think a lot of them definitely cleaned up their media presence post dts (like lewis was certainly a pr nightmare at one point earlier in his career which a lot of people don’t realize or remember and we’re not even going to talk about fernando alonso). the sport has gotten more tame for sure over the years, they used to get away with doing and saying way more but that could also just be a general cultural shift, there’s also i know pockets of people who are like oh this sport used to be so respectful and manly and blah blah blah and like. there’s photos of michael schumacher at a party in a wedding dress. david coulthard used to pretend to kiss his teammates on the lips in front of the cameras. as for sexism, there have been female drivers before, usually only doing short stints. i know susie wolff has talked about this with the f1 academy how pretty much only lewis consistently shows up to support it. i think max (?) said earlier this year that academy is great but if they want them to make it to f1 they need to give them faster cars. there’s also the whole horner fiasco from earlier this year.

idk if any of this is useful. or if you’ve already turned in your paper. in any case, good luck :)

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Husk with gender-neutral!reader relationship headcanons

Special thanks to @isuckatwritingsobenice, @nixie-writes, and a few other writers in the Hazbin Hotel community for helping me create a piece for one of my favorite characters from the 2019 pilot episode, Husk! :)

Warning: Husk's potty mouth and this is Hell, so indecent things are bound to happen but nothing to imply NSFW content.

Husk gave up on the idea of love years ago, preferring to drown himself in cheap booze and try his luck at the casino before Alastor pulls him away to do a job for him or some other shit because of his contract with the fucking asshole. Why else would he and Nifty be wastin’ time slaving away in a hotel that’s supposed to rehabilitate sinners? Least the pipsqueak gets to clean this place from top to bottom and away from the clients, and he’s stuck handling their drunk asses in the lobby bar.

Angel Dust has been the one who’s been trying to get into his pants since day one, but that’s a different story entirely. He’s persistent, Husk will give the prissy punk that much credit.

Though…he supposed it isn’t all too bad being here. Least since Vaggie hired you. Initially, the job offer she and Charlie had posted online was to manage the front desk, handle phone calls, and all of the other tasks required to be the hotel’s conceirge. However, since there still wasn’t enough staff to do everything, he would see flitting about carrying baskets of clean linens or giving tours around the hotel to potential clients, helping Vaggie with organizing meetings with the press, and so on.

He might be a drunk asshole, but if there’s one part in his body that’s still functioning besides his dick, it's his hearing.

He’s lost count of how many times he’s heard a snide remark from potential or current clients about your polite demeanor, if you’re actually a freak in bed, and a whole lotta other bullshit he did not want to hear when he’s still sober. He didn’t want to care but god fucking dammit it made his skin crawl at the idea of some asshole thinking they had a chance with you. You, who never seemed to lose your smile and would go out of your way to make Nifty’s day by belting out Broadway songs on top of the banister, completely lost in the character you were playing and not giving a shit about anything else.

Not gonna deny it, you had one hell of a voice. You could change the pitch of it so easily. From a high tone all the way down a low, smooth baritone that almost sounded like a siren’s song luring sailors to a watery grave.

When he actually musters the fucking courage (thanks to a lot of booze from earlier in the day) to ask if you’d like to go to a bar or even the casino, Husk thought you would reject him. After all, why would a someone like you would even want to hang around an old fucker like him?

But when he saw your face turn as red as a certain deer bastard’s suit and sputtered that you weren’t very good at the slots, though you were willingly to try your luck at the blackjack table as long it wasn’t a high stake one, Husk thought he had actually achieved the state of inebriation to where he was hallucinating.

However, he was proven wrong when you told him that you’ll be ready by seven to go to the casino. Since he’d been on good behavior and Charlie never had any issues with you as of late, the princess wouldn’t mind the two of you being out for a couple of hours as long as you kept your phones on you in case anything happened.

Alastor could care less since watching a tormented, loveless war veteran being bewitched by a beguiling songstress provided him with much needed entertainment~.

Upon arriving at the casino, Husk pulled you over to the slot machines. He showed you how they worked and how much money you should put in them, so you don’t lose all of it in under an hour. The old-fashioned ones with the levers weren’t so bad, though the rounds would go pretty quick if you weren’t paying attention to the denominations; same thing applied to the new tech ones, betting could go from 88 cents to up to two dollars.

In the end, you quit after trying three different machines and went to go find the restroom. Husk decided to go find a bar and order a couple of drinks. One for himself, and one for you. A couple of fellas, hellhounds by the look of ‘em, asked him if the ‘pretty little thing’ he was with earlier is with him or if you were single.

“They’re with me, so fuck off.” He grumbled.

“Ya sure about that, old man?”

Husker growled, feeling his hackles rise at the provocation, half of it he blamed on the booze. As much as he wanted to teach these punks a thing or two about showin’ respect….they weren’t worth ruinin’ his first date with you. First impressions made all the difference, least when he’d been alive. So he made a rude hand gesture and sat at the bar until he heard you call out to him.

“Everything all right, Husk? I hope I didn’t interrupt anything between you and your friends. The guys you were talkin’ to before they took off.”

He smirked. “Nah. If I knew them, they’d know how to play poker.” He stood up and grabbed his drink, handing over yours. “C’mon, let’s hit the blackjack tables and see how good you really are.” He said, leading you to your next stop for the night.

Turned out that you weren’t all talk. You were able to win five out of seven rounds, never showing any anxiety or indication that your hand was either good or bad. For kicks, Husk asked if you wanted to try the poker table. You agreed, but just to two rounds. If you weren’t comfortable continuing to play, please allow you to walk away. Husk agreed, opting to watch you from the sidelines as moral support instead of joining you at the table.

Three words could only describe what he saw next: holy fucking shit.

All you could do was smile sheepishly at him when he asked how the ever living fuck were you this good at gambling and didn’t say anything as the two of you left the casino with a hefty sum of cash.

“Would you believe me if I said I’d gotten banned from more than one casino when I was alive because I was just good at card counting?”

He stared at you for a long moment before he grinned widely, clapping you on the back. “I knew I had my eye on ya for a reason!”

‘Course, you’d never know that he wanted to show you that he’s one hell of a gambler at the casino instead of the other way ‘round. How he knew to play his cards right and treat you to something nice, show those little shitheads that a real gentleman knows how to win the game and a good-lookin’ partner all in the same night.

Still…gettin’ spoiled at a nice restaurant for a change wasn’t too bad…so long as no one from the hotel saw them. Especially Alastor.

And that was how your first date went. Nothing too crazy, least the two of you didn’t run into any trouble on the way back to the hotel. Husk walked you to your room, wished you good-night, and went to drink a little more before passing out in his own room.

Husk hasn’t been with anyone in an incredibly long time. There will be moments when he might seem harsher than usual towards you and tries to brush everything off, or chug it down with alcohol. He struggles to communicate with his feelings to someone else, so patience and respect for boundaries is key.

He does not tolerate any disrespect towards you, even if you try to tell him to ignore the sinner who is catcalling after you when the two of you are walking through the Pride Ring to pick up stuff for the hotel. If it happened at a bar while you’re on a date? Be prepared to have chairs go flying or Husk tearing a new hole in the poor bastard who pissed him off.

He is not a fan of PDA. He has a reputation to uphold in the hotel and on the streets. Behind closed doors, however, he will be more lenient. Cuddles and midday naps are exceptional, with him pressing against your body with his tail loosely coiled around your thigh and one of his wings acting as a shield or even a blanket.

Speaking of feathers and fur, he does need to groom himself periodically, especially when it's molting season. You need to be gentle if you want to help him since his skin can be especially sensitive around this time of the year.

Actions speak a lot louder to him than pretty words. If you show him that you do care for him and will never betray his trust or loyalty, he will return it tenfold. He will do everything in his power to make you as happy as you have made him in this shithole.

Taglist

@angelltheninth

@isuckatwritingsobenice

@selineram3421

@nixie-writes

@dragonempress18

@ceoofdabicorpsensfw

@lbcreations-blog

@chroniccorvus

@food-theorys-blog

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hot off the patreon presses

if you've been holding off on becoming a patreonite because you were waiting for a better chance to ensure my suffering for your amusement, you're in luck! I am at this very moment running a poll to honor the completion of a stretch goal, letting my beloved financial backers pick another unhinged 2010s tv show for me to watch and liveblog exclusively on patreon. if you enjoyed my slow descent into madness documenting all of Gotham (2014-2019), now's your time. hell, you can even vote to make me watch Gotham again (although at the moment Teen Wolf has a pretty rock solid lead.)

[mightyflamethrower]

25 reasons Trump won’t pay a dime to E. Jean Carroll

That eye-popping $83 million judgment will not survive an appeal. A proper settlement would subtract at least $82,972,000.

In 2019, a strange woman named E. Jean Carroll accused Donald Trump of raping her in a changing room of the Bergdorf Goodman department store in Midtown Manhattan. Trump called her crazy, and a jury found him liable for both sexually abusing her and defaming her with the “crazy” talk. Last week, a New York jury decided Carroll deserves $83 million for defamation.

Here are 25 reasons why that’s nuts.

1) Carroll has said rape is “sexy”

She backs up this insane statement with, “Think of the fantasies” (which my wife and I can’t stop saying to each other). For the record, having someone forcibly violate you against your will is the exact opposite of “sexy.”

2) She’s already bragging about shopping sprees

Remember in “Goodfellas” when that idiot shows up at the party with his wife wearing a $20,000 fur coat and De Niro tells him to “bring it back”? When you run a scam, you need to lay low for a while. Carroll, conversely, is making appearances on national television telling Rachel Maddow she’s going to buy her a “penthouse in Paris” as well as fishing gear and a motorcycle for her counsel (could she pick weirder presents?). Her lawyer awkwardly murmured, “Uh, that’s a joke.”

Yeah, this whole thing is a joke.

3) The scenario she described came from her favorite TV show

She is a self-described “Law & Order” fan, and there is an episode wherein a man muscles his way into a changing room at Bergdorf Goodman and sexually molests a woman. This is likely where she got the idea. She’s also a big fan of “The Apprentice.” Would you like to watch your rapist on TV?

4) She didn’t want to press criminal charges

Being on the cover of New York magazine is one thing, but taking your BS story into an actual courtroom is a whole other level of fraud. When Bill de Blasio said he would change the law to make the case admissible, Carroll kept awkwardly repeating, “The experts told me … the time has passed.”

5) They changed the law

The case had no merit because the statute of limitations on civil action had passed. So what happened? The New York State Legislature changed the law. Is there anything that screams “witch hunt” more than that? What are we, Zimbabwe?

6) The man who backed the lawsuit is a major DNC donor

Leftist activist billionaire Reid Hoffman is the money behind this operation. His motive is obviously to bankrupt Trump so he can’t run again. Carroll denied this at first because she’s a liar, but her lawyer was forced to come clean.

7) The whole thing was George Conway’s idea, apparently

Though she denies it, it’s clear this entire plan was concocted by “conservative lawyer” Conway at a radical leftist cocktail party in Manhattan.

8) Carroll’s lawyer is desperate to fix her reputation as a rape-enabler

Roberta Kaplan was supposed to champion victims of sexual assault with her #TimesUp movement, but she used it instead to run cover for perverts such as Andrew Cuomo. She got caught and she got fired. Her comeback included representing Ashley Biden (A Biden lawyer going after Trump? Is anyone surprised?), but this case could permanently rescue her Google results.

9) Carroll’s dress didn’t exist back then

Carroll said the rape happened in the early 1990s. We just learned the particular dress she said she was allegedly wearing did not exist at the time.

10) She cannot remember when the rape happened

We’re not talking about the exact date. She can’t tell us if it was 1993 or 1995.

11) She won’t let anyone test her coat for DNA

Carroll calls the dress her “bad luck dress” and told CNN she will never make a talisman out of it — as though the idea had occurred to anyone. Why did she keep it around? This could be the left’s Monica Lewinsky dress, but she refuses to let anyone analyze it.

12) She doesn’t know if Trump ejaculated

I don’t know if anyone reading this has engaged in sexual intercourse, but evidence of the male orgasm is almost impossible to hide.

13) She is a serial accuser

Despite being a 3.5, she has claimed men have sexually assaulted her at least a half-dozen times. This isn’t proof of Trump’s innocence in and of itself, but it becomes relevant when surrounded by 24 other points.

14) She said it wasn’t sexual

Carroll has said pretty much everything that you could say about this encounter, from “it was not sexual” to “it was the definition of rape.” She said she would not press charges, however, because it would trivialize the experience of illegal aliens who are being “raped around the clock.”

15) She’s not his type

Trump is into elegant Slavs. This woman is like that hysterical chicken lady from “The Kids in the Hall.”

16) The judge and Carroll’s lawyer are pals

We’re told Judge Lewis Kaplan was Roberta Kaplan’s (no relation) mentor back when they both worked at Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison. Roberta Kaplan denies this, but it can’t be denied they worked at the same firm at the same time. That alone is a conflict of interest.

17) Carroll didn’t talk to anyone about the alleged assault, until she did

If a woman is sexually assaulted, she is morally obligated to report it immediately, so the rapist doesn’t do it again. Carroll did not do this. What’s more, she didn’t talk to any of her friends about it. At least not at first. This is peculiar behavior for a blabbermouth.

18) Even if it’s all true, the settlement would be tiny

Carroll alleged that Trump cost her a columnist job at Elle, but the magazine made it clear it ended her contract as an advice columnist based on nothing more than lack of interest. But let’s assume Elle fired her because Trump wrote a mean tweet. A good price for an advice column would be a couple of hundred bucks per piece. That’s $2,000 a year for Elle. Assuming Carroll lives as long as “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Esther Friedman, who died at 94, that would be a whopping total of $28,000 (Carroll is 80).

So, we’re off by about $82,972,000.

19) She said women “love” being abducted

She told Charlie Rose (remember him?) in 1995 that women love the idea of a caveman knocking them unconscious with a club and then dragging them — by their hair — back to the cave. I’m no feminist, but I’m pretty sure the cerebral contusions from this kind of violence are not a turn-on.

20) She said it wasn’t a big deal

“I’m a mature woman,” she said. “I can handle it.” OK, then why does she need $83 million to recover? That’s four times the amount of money you get when your kid is decapitated.

21) She lives in a Mouse House

Anyone who doubts this lady’s mental state needs to check out her house. She calls it “The Mouse House” because it’s infested with rodents (to whom she has given individual names, such as “Terbrusky”). She has painted the trees blue. She has printed out 27 years of advice column questions and stacked them all over the place. Yes, writers can be weird. But it is impossible to look at her place and not think, “This is nuts.”

22) She is a hoarder

Hoarding is a mental disorder. You can’t sue someone for calling you “crazy” if you have a mental disorder.

23) Her cat is called “Vagina” — seriously

E. Jean Carroll is obsessed with sex and her vagina. She said she lives in the woods because if she lived in the city, she’d have 16 boyfriends. She’s 80, remember?

Her dog “Tits” has blue hair, and her cat is named “Vagina.” The left-wing media thinks this is irrelevant. “Among the stranger complaints made by the former president … was that the jury wasn’t informed about the name of his accuser’s cat: Vagina T. Fireball.” Uh, when the charge is “calling a sane woman crazy,” Vagina T. Fireball matters.

24) She writes notes to herself

Wait, doesn’t everyone do that? Not like this. “The Mouse House” is festooned with bizarre messages. Her microwave says, “Burn Baby Burn.” Her bookshelf says, “Always amused never angry.” And, in a moment of deranged honesty, she taped a note to a lamp that says, “Hold your nerve. Pursue your radical options to the bitter END!”

25) Carroll said she wanted to “rape” Trump

Apparently, she thought having rough sex with him in the changing room would make for a “funny story.” (Wait, I thought she didn’t tell anyone about what happened to her out of fear.) She also suggested she’d do it for $17,000 if he was unable to speak. Sounds awfully rapey, doesn’t it?

Anyone who takes this case seriously and doesn’t see E. Jean Carroll as a complete basket case is a complete basket case.

[justmochi]

post breakup

pairing :: mira x handong

word count :: 1.5k

synopsis :: mira gets home after breaking up with wonwoo

time :: 2019

warnings :: angst. mira blames herself while her members comfort her.

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea​ @cixrosie​ @moonlight-additions​ @cosmicwintr​ @astraw-astro​ @succulentmom​ @kimhyejin3108​ @enhacolor​ @alixnsuperstxr​ @hybesunstone​ @itzy-eve​ @choihaneul​ @strmiu​

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” Yoohyeon sat beside Mira on her bed, grabbing her shoulders and leaning forward in an attempt to see her face. She was trembling in her arms and trying her best not to inconvenience her other members. “Did something happen?”

“It’s over.” She shook her head, hiding her face in her palms as she let her emotions run free.

“Over? With Wonwoo?” Her eyes widened as she was taken back. “Are you two breaking up?”

She nodded, balling up one of her fists as she wiped her eyes with the other. It really felt like she was stabbed with a knife. She let her body fall against Yoohyeon as she cried, her cheek pressed to her shoulder. Her member wrapped her arms around her, giving her a tight hug and cradling her head close.

She shushed Mira, rocking her back and forth while brushing her fingers through her hair. She was dumbfounded by the news. It was just their luck that the maknae walked past the bedroom, stopping in her tracks to peek in and see the girl crying.

“Unnie?...” Gahyeon called out to her with concern.

Yoohyeon looked at her with a pout, motioning her hand. “Can you tell Handong to come here?”

The youngest nodded, pulling the door and seeing to her request.

“Do you think you’d feel better talking to Handong?” After all, Handong was the one who knew Mira better than anyone else. Perhaps even her own parents.

She couldn’t speak up, only nodding her head to communicate.

“I don’t understand. I thought things were going well between you two?”

That’s what she thought too. Yoohyeon tried not to cry herself after seeing Mira cry, letting out a shaky sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Your makeup is running. Can I get you a cold rag?”

Handong soon came in, the scene before her sending her into protective mode. “What happened?” She kneeled in front of Mira, placing her hands on her knees and looking up at her. There were only a couple instances that Handong had seen her like this.

Unable to speak, Yoohyeon stood up and talked for her. “Her and Wonwoo are breaking up…”

The girl tried her best to be quiet, but being reminded of the fact that this was the situation she was in broke her heart even more.

Handong widened her eyes, looking up at Yoohyeon and taking a second to process what she told her. Of course, with dating, there was always the fear that a couple would break up eventually but she never imagined her and Wonwoo to be that case.

She stood back up, her posture sharp and intimidating. “I’m gonna kill him.”

As the woman turned to leave, Mira quickly grabbed her wrist. When she looked back, the girl was shaking her head, pleading quietly to stop. “I-It’s not his fault.”

“Well it most definitely isn’t yours either.” She squeezed her hand, switching spots with Yoohyeon who left to get her a cold washcloth. “Let’s just calm down for a bit and then you can tell me what’s going on.” She flattened the sides of her hair down, pulling her into a hug. Her hugs were the most comforting to her because it felt like home. And she was her home.

Yoohyeon came back with a cold, damp washcloth, handing it to Mira. She started harshly rubbing her face with it to rid herself of all her makeup. Her eyes would definitely be red from the crying and puffy from the rubbing. She knew it probably wasn’t good for her skin, but she could care less about what she looked like right now.

The rest of the girls scattered, leaving Mira with Handong for a while more before she eventually settled down.

“If you’re ready to talk, tell me what happened.” Handong took the washcloth from her, as well as her water bottle.

“He wanted to take a break because of how busy we are.” She tried breathing in through her nose, being so congested from crying.

Handong furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “That’s all?”

“He said it was a busy time and that he could hardly take care of himself, let alone me.”

Handong looked away, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. Her threatening aura had faded away quickly. “You scared me. With the way you were crying I seriously thought he cheated on you or something.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” She spoke under her breath, shaking her head. “He doesn’t love himself completely yet.”

Her member sighed, wrapping her arm around her and pulling her close with her head pressed against hers. “You know, it’s natural for people to drift apart sometimes. We’re all busy idols and it could be exhausting for one to be in a relationship.”

Mira squeezed her eyes shut, choking down more sobs as her mind went into overdrive. “Was I really exhausting for him? I told him I wouldn’t mind the distance. Maybe if I had showed him more affection he would have wanted to stay together-“

“Hey, stop. That’s not what I’m saying.” She squeezed her knee, her voice stern. “If you guys had stayed together, there would be miscommunications and you’d be neglected more that way. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“But I love him. I really thought he loved me too…”

“From what you’ve told me, he does love you. If he didn’t, he would have let the two of you drift apart without saying anything. Then you wouldn’t have any closure and it would have tainted your views on relationships.”

Mira’s mind was still foggy and emotional, but perhaps Handong was starting to put it into perspective for her. She sounded more wise than anything. So she started to consider what Wonwoo was going through instead of her own selfish feelings.

Handong brushed the sides of her hair flat, looking at her with sincerity. “It probably sounds cliche, but it’s difficult for someone to love another person when they don’t have that trust or love for themselves in the first place.”

She let the sentence linger in her mind, being quiet now.

“You need to love yourself before you can love another person.” She pursed her lips, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “But if you’re still mad at him, just say the word and I will not hesitate to hurt him.”

Mira looked over at her, finally making eye contact before a grin crept its way onto her face. She felt a little better after talking to Handong, but her heart still ached.

Handong chuckled along with her, opening her arms. “Come here.”

Mira wrapped her arms around her best friend, more tears finding its way to the surface as they held each other tightly.

Handong rubbed circles on her back to comfort her. “I will always be on your side, Mira. Even if you’re in the wrong or you do unimaginable things, I will always be right there to protect and defend you.”

Mira sobbed quietly into her shoulder, fingers digging into her shirt. “I love you.”

“I love you too. And I’m so sorry that this had to happen.” Handong pulled back, wiping Mira’s tears once more. “If things don’t work out, don’t you worry your pretty little head. You have me. And we can bother each other till we’re old and wrinkly.”

She got a laugh out of the girl, hugging her once more. “You’re probably really tired.”

Mira nodded, rubbing her eyes from how irritated they were from crying. Handong sat up, pulling the sheets out from under the girl and getting her legs covered.

“Where’s your phone?” Handong searched for her phone, Mira pointing to the device sitting on the nightstand. She found the charger and plugged it in before continuing to tuck her in.

“Do you need anything?” Handong brushed her bangs out of her face, patting her blankets to fluff them up. She shook her head, slouching down in the bed until she was flat against the mattress.

Handong leaned down to give her a kiss on the head. “It’s all gonna be okay. Goodnight.” She pinched her cheek, heading for the door and looking back at her.

Mira could only get a whisper out, saying goodnight to her as well before she closed the door, leaving her in the bedroom with only her night light on.

She wondered where Handong got so wise. She always had the right things to say and never questioned it. And she was feeling a lot better than she was when she first got back to the dorms.

She turned over on her side, pulling the covers over her shoulder and breathing with her mouth open with her nose being all stuffy. She tried her hardest to think about what Handong said rather than Wonwoo. She doesn’t think she will ever be able to get over the way he looked at her tonight. It was definitely gonna find its way into her dreams and haunt her.

[dartmoorsfinest]

[MASTERPOST] JOSH WIDDICOMBE: “NOT MY CUP OF TEA” (2025/2026 TOUR)

A masterpost of information related to Josh's upcoming 2025/2026 UK tour. Including pre-sale/general sale info, and venue information.

**THIS POST IS CURRENTLY WIP!!!!**

WAKE UP, LOSERS! Josh has announced his next tour for 2025/2026!

“Not My Cup of Tea” will be touring around the UK, starting this time next year! (September 2025-May 2026) His first tour since 2019!

BLURB: "Josh Widdicombe is back on tour, not again! By now he has almost certainly mastered the art of stand-up, either that or he has wasted the last 15 years of his life. Come along and decide for yourself. Expect it to be shorter and with lower production values than Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, but funnier and with more references to tea."

---

Also, I’m sure this’ll be the FIRST LEG (ha!) of the tour, so hold onto your hats, he’ll likely come to a venue near you! Guessing due to Josh's popularity, thanks to Parenting Hell, demand for him will have gone up a bit since 2019. Good luck!

---

TICKET INFO/DATES, PRESS ETC, BELOW THE CUT.

TICKET ACCESS INFO:

PRICES: £31-£37 (according to the Liverpool Philharmonic, may vary depending on venue)

PRE-SALE INFO:

Pre-sale will be on Thursday 19th September (11am), while general sale will be the following day.

Sign-up to Josh's mailing list BEFORE 9am on 19th September for pre-sale access.

As ever, don’t stick with the big name ticket websites - try to stick to the venues themselves, as that's where most the allocation of tickets will be! (tour dates and more info below the cut)

I'm sure I don't need to say it, and it's probably unlikely, but obviously... DON'T BUY FROM RESALE WEBSITES (Oasis say hi!). Do you want Hillsy calling you a dick??

Ticketmaster UK

ATG Tickets (tend to have their own members pre-sale too)

AXS

KEY:

[TM] = Ticketmaster

Any direct venue links will have the date/venue name displayed as a link and highlighted in BOLD. Will be updated as soon as we know them!

----

2025 DATES:

SEPTEMBER Sunday 14 September: Canterbury, The Marlowe Wednesday 17 September: Bedford, Corn Exchange [TM] Thursday 18 September: King's Lynn, Corn Exchange [TM] Saturday 20 September: Fareham, Fareham Live [TM] Thursday 25 September: Swindon, Wyvern [TM] Friday 26 September: Eastbourne, Congress [TM] Sunday 28 September: Bournemouth, Pavilion [TM] Tuesday 30 September: Malvern, Festival Theatre OCTOBER Thursday 2 October: Hull, City Hall [TM] Saturday 4 October: Doncaster, CAST Sunday 5 October: Dartford, Orchard Theatre Wednesday 8 October: Guildford, G Live [TM] Thursday 9 October: High Wycombe, Swan Theatre [TM] Saturday 11 October: Cambridge, Corn Exchange [TM] Tuesday 14 October: Reading, Hexagon Thursday 16 October: Hastings, White Rock Theatre [TM] Saturday 18 October: Coventry, Warwick Arts Centre Thursday 23 October: Croydon, Fairfield Halls Saturday 25 October: Portsmouth, Kings Theatre [TM] NOVEMBER Saturday 1 November: Halifax, Victoria Theatre Sunday 2 November: Wolverhampton, Grand Monday 3 November: Llandudno, Venue Cymru [TM] Tuesday 4 November: Chester, Storyhouse [TM] Saturday 8 November: Exeter, The Great Hall [TM] Sunday 9 November: Truro, Hall For Cornwall [TM] Monday 10 November: Torquay, Princess Theatre [TM] Tuesday 11 November: Yeovil, Westlands [TM] Saturday 15 November: Buxton, Opera House Sunday 16 November: Scunthorpe, Bath's Hall [TM] Monday 17 November: Newcastle Upon Tyne, Tyne Theatre Tuesday 18 November: Stockton, The Globe [TM] Saturday 22 November: Stockport, Plaza Sunday 23 November: Blackpool, Grand Tuesday 25 November: Northampton, Derngate [TM] Sunday 30 November: Liverpool, Philharmonic [TM]

----

2026 DATES:

FEBRUARY Saturday 28 February: York, Barbican [TM] MARCH Saturday 7 March: Douglas, Gaiety Theatre Thursday 12 March: Woking, New Victoria Theatre [TM] Saturday 14 March: Aylesbury, Waterside Theatre Thursday 19 March: Bromley, Churchill Theatre [TM] Saturday 21 March: Nottingham, Royal Concert Hall [TM] Thursday 26 March: Southend, Cliffs Pavilion [TM] APRIL Saturday 11 April: Ipswich, Regent Theatre Friday 17 April: Grimsby, Auditorium [TM] Saturday 18 April: Stoke-On-Trent, The Regent Theatre Sunday 19 April: Salford, Lowry Lyric Theatre [TM] Friday 24 April: Brighton, Dome [TM] Saturday 25 April: Oxford, New Theatre MAY Friday 1 May: Aberdeen, Music Hall Saturday 2 May: Edinburgh, Playhouse Sunday 3 May: Glasgow, King's Theatre Monday 4 May: Inverness, Eden Court [TM] Tuesday 5 May: Birmingham, Hippodrome Wednesday 6 May: Milton Keynes, Theatre Saturday 9 May: Swansea, Arena Sunday 10 May: Cardiff, New Theatre [TM] Monday 11 May: Cheltenham, Town Hall Saturday 16 May: London, Hackney Empire

----

PRESS:

British Comedy Guide

Beyond the Joke

Chortle

Eastern Daily Press (Norfolk)

Ipswich Star

Oxfordshire Guardian

[lestappenforever]

hi angel c:

may I just say that this gp was as a fiction? it served us SO MUCH Lestappen content from the begging to the very end! i was scared that at some point it's gonna be fucked (yep talking about Charles' "luck") but instead we got a joint interview, a lot of waist grabbing, smiles and giggles, press conferences with "inchident" jokes and karting days (i'm so sorry for Checo and Carlos being the third wheel but it's inevitable, guys) AND the most important – a battle even in FP2 and then in race! i mean, Charles has done FANTASTIC job (not only in race but throughout the whole weekend. his quali laps? fuck that was hot). i don't remember when was the last time someone overtook Max in battle for the lead. i wanna scream to see Charles in capable and suitable for his style car (and reliable team that does not fuck up the strategies *side-eye to RBR*) 😭😭😭

is Vegas gp gonna be Austria 2.0? we even had the "dirty move" from Max which helped him to took the lead (as in 2019 but thanks fuck no grudges are left no divorce and yeah this time it was just a grip problem), then battles and the sensual podium. damn let us have every gp as Austria and Vegas and Lecstappen tumblr will go completely insane ._.

i'm also still not over the fact that Max apologized. I mean this man is literally the entire weekend was: FUCK YOU OKON FUCK YOU GEORGE FUCK YOU VEGAS FUCK EVERYONE OF YOU except you charlie you're my sweety lovely im sorry for the turn 1 schatje 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i've seen some people being afraid of "lestappen divorce" after that turn 1, but i wasn't one of them. i really think that their relationship has seriously changed. sure that Max always treated Charles in a special way, congratulating him on good positions, even if he himself lost. but for some reason I feel that Charles himself now does not transfer what happens on the track beyond its boundaries. Austin sprint was also the proof.

okay thanks for listening to my rambling, i'm sleep deprived, these FPs at 5:30 and a race at 7:00 at the weekend the only fucking days when I can get some sleep kinda killed me

anyway, let me just remind you that you're beautiful and precious and just incredibly wonderful person🖤 i'm always looking forward for your posts and every time you reply to anons it's so warm, it makes my day better when i read it. just all your love and kindness you're giving people here... it's valuable. you're valuable. love ya, have a great day!!❤️

Denis, my darling, hello! ❤️

Once again you are dropping truth bombs in my ask box, and I am so happy to read them. I agree with every take you've shared here: the Las Vegas GP practically being taken straight out of a fic, and it actually giving Austria 2022 a run for its money. (Which I doubt any of us were prepared for, let's be honest.)

Both Max and Charles have grown so much over the years, and it's wonderful to see that their relationship has reached the point it's at now. Max apologizing to Charles for the incident in turn 1 is definitely a testament to the severe shift their friendship has taken recently, and it's just beautiful to watch.

I wasn't worried at all about their friendship suffering because of what happened in turn 1, and I think those who were worried about a potential "divorce" are people who haven't been as up-to-date on the shift of their friendship recently. They've reached a point where they can have incidents like that during a race without it impacting their relationship negatively at all. And if that isn't growth, then I don't know what is.

I hope you're catching up on some much needed sleep following this race weekend. 💙

Denis, you have given me such a good reason to smile this Monday morning with yet another heartfelt and kind ask, and words can't express how much I appreciate that and you. You are such a sweetheart, you're so incredibly beautiful inside and out, and you deserve the entire world. I'm so moved by your words, thank you so, so much. I'm so happy my posts can have that kind of impact on you.

Thank you so much for making my entire day with this. You're so valuable too, and I love you. 💕

[callsign-owl]

Midnight Conversations

Hereford, United Kingdom - March 2019

The night was cold and still, the air crisp with the lingering scent of early spring. The base was silent, its usual hum of activity subdued under the blanket of darkness. Owl wandered through the deserted corridors and open spaces, his footsteps echoing softly against the concrete. Sleep had once again eluded him, the familiar restlessness gnawing at his mind.

He walked with no particular destination, simply moving to keep his thoughts from spiraling. The sky was clear, stars scattered like diamonds against the velvety blackness. As he turned a corner near the barracks, a faint glow caught his eye. The scent of tobacco smoke drifted towards him, mingling with the cool night air.

Captain Price was leaning against a wall with a cigar in hand. The ember glowed brightly with each puff, illuminating his face in the darkness. His expression was contemplative, eyes fixed on the distant horizon.

Owl hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to intrude but before he could go back inside, Price looked up, his gaze steady but not unkind. "Couldn't sleep again, *redacted*?" he asked, his voice low and calm.

Owl shrugged. "Seems to be a nightly occurrence," he replied, his tone carrying a hint of resignation.

Price nodded, taking another puff of his cigar. "A fellow night owl," he said, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Army life can do that to you, though I suspect your troubles started long before."

Owl leaned against the wall next to Price, the cool stone pressing against his back. "Yeah, insomnia and I go way back. I thought maybe all this training would wear me out enough to sleep, but no luck."

Price chuckled softly. "The mind has a way of keeping us awake, no matter how tired the body is," he observed. "What keeps you up?"

Owl considered the question, his gaze drifting to the sky. "Everything and nothing," he replied after a moment. "The past, the future... It's like my brain refuses to shut down. Always thinking, always processing."

Price nodded thoughtfully, taking another drag from his cigar. "Seems to be a common affliction among men like you, men who think too much," he said.

Owl met his gaze, the understanding in Price's eyes both comforting and unsettling. "Do you ever sleep, Captain?" he asked, half-joking.

Price smiled faintly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "When I can," he replied. "But nights like these, I find a cigar and some quiet help clear the mind."

They stood in silence for a while. Owl felt a strange sense of calm settle over him, the usual restlessness easing ever so slightly.

"You've been doing well," Price said suddenly, breaking the silence. "Despite everything, you've shown resilience. It's not easy, what you're doing."

Owl shrugged. "Still feels like I'm out of my depth most days."

Price studied him for a moment before speaking. "I've noticed you tend to keep to yourself, not interacting much with the others. Is there a reason for that?"

Owl looked away, his gaze fixed on the distant stars. "I guess... I'm just used to being on my own. It's easier that way."

Price nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I understand the instinct to isolate, especially given everything you've been through. But in Task Force 141, we operate as a team. We rely on each other, trust each other. Isolation can be a liability, both to you and the team."

Owl remained silent, processing Price's words. He knew the Captain was right, but the thought of opening up to others, of relying on them, was daunting.

Price continued, his tone gentle but firm. "Building those connections, that trust, it's crucial. Not just for the success of the mission, but for your own well-being. You're part of this team now. Let them in."

Owl glanced at Price, the sincerity in his eyes unmistakable. "I hear you, Captain. It's just... new for me. But I'll try."

Price smiled faintly, nodding in approval. "That's all I ask. Take it one step at a time. The rest will follow."

They stood in silence for a while longer. Finally, Price stubbed out his cigar and pushed off the wall.

"Get some rest, *redacted*," he said, his tone carrying a note of finality. As Price walked away, Owl remained by the wall for a few more minutes, letting the cool air and the quiet of the night seep into his bones.

[disorganizedkitten]

Moving Places

Miraculous Ladybug | 2019 | 2,838 | Ao3 | @chimpukampu and @ZiriO

Adrien Agreste and Marinette Agreste, parents of 3, are finally moving to a bigger home. That forces them to reckon with a heap of stuff that's been collecting and gathering dust over the years. Things get a little... funny and fluffy.

“Adrien, We’ve been through this a thousand times. We need to trim things down this once. We’re not taking everything!”

Yes, that’s how moving homes usually happens, but it’s always a reason for a little bit of bickering, but some endearing moments included too. Adrien and Marinette Agreste, parents for 3, have been waiting for this for a long while now, and yet…

Their kwamis hovered about with amused looks, Plagg more so than Tikki, wondering what might get unearthed.

The boxes rattled as Adrien moved them about. A slight puff of dust bloomed from one as it was opened, giving the air a very mild acrid smell.

“I think we haven’t opened these up since the last time we moved, if not the time before! Isn’t that a hint, Adrien?”

“Mari, we are not touching my Ladybug collection! Look, it’s a collector’s edition!”

Adrien brushed off some of the dust and pressed the button on the doll.

“Time to de-evilize!” a high-pitched voice emanated from it as Adrien smiled. “See? It still works!”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Can I try too?” Marinette snickered. “Time to de-evilize!” She called in a theatrical fashion. “So, who did it better?”

Adrien’s smile widened into a full-fledged grin.

“Hey, I never said I didn’t have the single-issue real thing in my collection” he cooed.

“Oh do you now?”

“I could show you but then we’d never get any packing done.” He jested and then his face went a bit more serious. This turned their attention to the heap of stuff still waiting for them to sort through.

“Fine.” She grumbled at the missed opportunity. “But the monopoly box goes. That one was a mistake.”

They looked at a miraculous-themed monopoly board. A cheapskate producer named Zag somehow convinced them this was a good idea. By the time he started to leak pictures to the press, it was hard for them to stop it. It was a good thing that Chloe found them a legal loophole and used her family’s clout to threaten him to a halt. But they did have the box to remember that one.

“How on earth did he convince us to do such a silly thing?”

“The guy had charm and a good deal of luck.”

“Mari, do you think it’s the power of-”

“Adrien Agreste, don’t you dare!”

“You practically walked into that one, milady… “

“If only I could toss away all your puns at that.” She sighed.

“Actually, you sort of did last time, don’t you remember?”

“Please don’t remind me. I was horrified. A notebook full of lame puns!”

“You can’t get them out of my head though.”

“If your lips are busy they can’t throw puns around, you know.” she winked and he smiled back at her.

We are never going to get any packing done like that…

---

A quick kiss later, they were back to sorting stuff.

“What’s that? Is that Emma’s first pacifier?” She said as she examined one.

“Oh yeah. I keep hoping we can still use it. That girl won’t shut up!” He jested.

“Out it goes! Our girl is all grown up now, maybe it’s time someone else would grow up too!”

“Hey, it’s always good to have a reminder of us growing up. After all, we have 3 kids and you still don’t look a day over 3000.”

“Now you know why I’m so much wiser than you.” She retorted. “Now let’s get back to packing, you… adorable goober of a flirt, you.”

She gave him another quick kiss. He earned that one too. They both looked at the next item.

“A solitaire thinking challenge? Aren’t our kids too old for that?”

“Well, there was a time when you couldn't think straight around me. And you were adorable.”

“Adrien Agreste, If I had known this was going to haunt me all through our marriage… I’d do it all again.” She chuckled. “Anyway, what the hell is this?”

They both looked at a box full of a random assortment of seemingly useless stuff.

“I’m… saving this for Emma? Kidding, I have no idea what’s exactly in it. There’s only one way to find out.”

They cautiously opened the box, looking at a mix of extremely oddball items, scratching their heads at each one trying to figure out what’s it doing there.

“A gecko-shaped pendant? What’s that doing here?”

“Emma made one on art class.”

“And we’re keeping this… why?” She gave him a stare over it.

“It’s… uhh… we can play pretend it’s a real miraculous?” He suggested half-jokingly, only to be met with Marinette’s stern look as she discarded it into the trash.

“She made A ladybug themed brooch?”

“She’s a big fan, you know…”

“I can understand that, but why are we keeping it?”

“Uhh…”

Marinette threw that one into the box marked “for cataclysm”.

“A lego toy welding machine? Who had this stupid idea?”

“It’s Max… and he’s smart so maybe it was a smar-okay it really was a stupid idea, she never even opened it. Too bad Alix never stopped him!”

“That can go to the donations pile. Next!”

“What’s a map of Jerusalem doing here?”

“Geography class, I guess?”

“But how’s that a souvenir when we’ve never even been there?”

Marinette crumpled the thing into a ball and threw it to the trash.

“An ad for a Louvre exhibition from 2015? So useless.”

“We could sell it on eBay...”

Marinette rolled her eyes.

“God, sometimes the things you say actually make me prefer a pun. And that’s a major achievement, Mr. Agreste!”

She sighed as she went on.

“An aimee mann CD? Do we even have anything that can play these things?”

“No, we don’t…”

“Donations pile. Next?”

“A defunct Wacom pad… you said you were going to get it fixed like what, 2 years ago?”

“I still plan on… okay you can throw this.”

Marinette had fond memories of that one, she used it to do quite a bit of sketching, and yet even she couldn’t but admit that no, she wasn’t going to get that one fixed. She then moved on to the next item.

“Okay… what the hell is this?”

They both examined a pink rod with a heart-shaped fake gem on top.

“Oh, I brought this back from Japan to Emma. I think it appeared in some anime or something.”

“I am letting you bring too much trash in, and that’s the result… sometimes I am just way too nice with you.”

“It’s my kitten face, bugaboo. It’s irresistible. Besides, she actually used that one on Halloween!”

A stern look and Adrien threw the thing into the Cataclysm box. Marinette then examined the next item.

“A dream catcher? Oh yes, I remember now. You bought this for me after I told you what was my nightmare in ‘sandboy’!”

“Oh, what fond memories that one brings…”

Adrien had a sly smile on his face as he started to play-act his part.

“Marinette… the prettiest and the smartest one of all is Chloe…”

“Now there's the holder I know,” Plagg snarked. “So good to have you back.”

“My god… what a mistake that was…” Marinette gently touched her palm to her forehead at her husband’s act as she came up with the retort.

“Do I have to remind you I can play-act your nightmare too?”

That did the trick, snapping him back.

“Please don’t do that… You’re the lady of my dreams, bugaboo! I even have a ring to prove it now.”

“Adrien, flattery is going to get you… actually, going to get you good things. Keep up at that.”

They exchanged yet another quick kiss.

Adrien eyed another box, around the size of an A4 page. As he reached out to grab it, he heard his wife squeak a ‘No’ at him.

“What, Mari, what’s in that one?”

She turned slightly pink, reminding him for a moment of that blushing teenager from Francois Dupont college that he ended up marrying.

“Uhhh… umm…”

He carefully opened it. The first page had a drawing of Marinette wearing a grey superhero costume with a pink skip-rope and pink hair ribbon, with the caption “Mousinette”.

“Ha, so you drew yourself as the Mouse superheroine! That’s…”

She lost her blush by now. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, after all.

“Yes, that’s… ?” She urged him to complete his sentence.

“That would have been real hot, sweetie. I’d pay to see you dressed up in Halloween like that!”

“In that case…” She said as she put her finger thoughtfully at her chin, “... a dinner out for two, as your payment?”

“You know I would have done it anyway after we finish packing, right?”

“I know you well enough by now, dear husband.” She smiled and booped his nose affectionately.

“Well, I should certainly hope so.” He grinned, thumbing the edges of the pages. “So….how much of this sketchbook did you fill, again?”

“I usually fill all the pages, why?” Her eyes narrowed, regret and the sudden thought that maybe she needed more than a dinner out as payment starting to creep over her.

“Mind if I keep looking?”

“Adrien, we are never going to get done at this rate!”

“Yes, but how often do I get to look through your old art?” The kitten eyes made a swift comeback, leaving Marinette groaning in disgust.

“Fine, but you get five minutes!” Which was enough to sate his curiosity, or at least she hoped.

“So why did I never see this cute bee costume on you? Or this amazing Ladybug-themed dress?” He pouted, though that was nothing compared to the look on his face when he came across a sketch of her as Chat Noir, with a massive ribbon for the tail.

“No. Don’t even ask, I won’t make it. That ribbon is a joke, and the peplum look went out of style years ago!”

“Marinette!” He was sulking now, pouting as he lifted the sketch.

“Absolutely not, besides, there’s no way I could put the pawprints on the gloves and shoes, it’d look ridiculous at my age!” He still sulked, but she shook her head anyway. Somebody had to put their foot down, or they’d never get anywhere.

Which, yeah that was normal. Downsizing to move always took forever. How did they even end up with this much stuff?

“You looked at my art, now we need to go through one of your boxes.” Marinette decreed, grabbing a box with the label ‘Adrien’. She unfolded the flaps and sighed. “We can’t get rid of these, pass me the next one.”

“What are they?” Adrien set down the sketchbook, a drawing of a Tiger holder displayed, to peek over her shoulder. “We were supposed to put those on the mantel ages ago, weren’t we?”

“I think so.” Marinette pulled a fencing trophy out of the box, turning it over in her hands. “I completely forgot we had these.”

“Think we’ll be able to put them up at the new house?”

“If there’s not space, maybe we can add in a few shelves? Emma’s going to start competing with Akari soon, if they continue at this rate.”

“Purr-fect idea, as always, M’lady.” Adrien draped himself over her shoulder batting his eyelashes at her.

“Okay, where’s the tape? I should relabel this one so we don’t forget again.”

Adrien pulled himself off her, scooping the masking tape and marker up and depositing them in her lap. “While you do that, I’m going to go through this one.” Adrien moved a few feet away, dragging the box back with him. “Are assignments important enough to be kept again?”

“Which assignments?”

“Cat breeds.”

Marinette groaned. “That wasn’t an assignment, Adrien, that was from you trying to bribe Chloe into getting Hugo a cat for Christmas.”

“Oh yeah. Can we keep it?”

Marinette shot him her most deadpan look. Adrien replied with puppy-dog eyes. Marinette sighed. “Fine. Toss it into the maybe pile.”

“Yes!”

“Moving on, have you found the box with the photo albums yet?”

“Not yet, I’ll get to them. When we have a break.”

“Why?”

“Chloe and Emma baby pictures.”

Marinette stifled a laugh. “Yeah, okay.” She glanced back into her current box. “I found Emma’s old EAH dolls, do you think she’ll still want them?”

“No idea.”

“Into the maybe pile, we can check with her later.”

“Good idea.”

Silence for a moment, and then Adrien snorted.

“What did you find?”

Adrien leaned back to look at Marinette, smirking. “Remember your crush?”

Marinette pouted. “You already teased me about that today. Is it still not old?”

“Not when all the memorabilia right here.”

“Not when the- Oh!” Marinette shrieked, scrambling over to him. “You found them! Finally! I seriously thought Master Fu had taken them.” She smiled brightly.

“Why would Master Fu take them?”

Marinette blushed scarlet. “Alya didn’t tell you. Of course not. Okay. Um, actually. Oh dear it’s kind of embarrassing. Why is it embarrassing? It wasn’t when I told Alya and Master Fu. Maybe it’s because it’s you. Oh boy. Okay so-” Marinette’s rambling died off in a whine as she buried her face in her hands. “It’s only embarrassing because it’s you. It was actually really smart at the time. Uh, move the top hundred or so.”

Adrien blinked at her reply, before turning back to the box. “What did you do?” he asked slowly, gathering up photos and slowly moving them out stack by stack. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Marinette peeked over her fingers. “No one ever looked under that stuff, so it was the safest place to hide my research.”

“You never fail to amaze me,” Adrien snorted. “Using your crush to protect your identity? Constant multitasking at its’ best.”

“It was multistorage actually.” she tapped her head. “One track mind.”

They carefully dug through the box a little more, pages upon pages of translations and coded information sitting at the bottom, with cardboard dividers in between the layers. They pulled another set off, and Marinette promptly collapsed backwards, laughing.

“Are these the Kwami-sitting dolls?” Adrien asked, pulling the Pollen and Plagg ones out of the box.

“Those are the Kwami-sitting dolls,” Marinette confirmed, wheezing.

Marinette’s foot snagged something pointy, and when she stepped back to inspect the object, she grimaced “Adrien Chat Noir Agreste, bring your ass in here!”

“What is it M’ - whoa!” he stopped momentarily while schooling a dumbfounded look “What is that doing here?”

“You tell me,” she snarled as she spread out a big tarp of an old Gabriel perfume ad.

“Well, you said that you love fashion, and you want to update your ‘mini’” he made an air quote there “Adrien shrine -”

“Adrien!”

“Radiant,” the blond uttered dramatically as he reenacted his commercial ad “Carefree...Dreamy…”

Before he could finish the line, his wife hurled the incriminating poster and hit him squarely to the face.

‘ Why did I marry that man-child? ’ Marinette muttered to herself as she returned to her work, trying not to mind her crying husband, then paused when she saw another familiar banner.

“Why is this thing still here?”

“I swear to Plagg this is the only tarp that I saved... Oh. Oh, that .”

It was an old banner with a logo of a fencing team and quote in bold letters ‘ Excel and Power Pointe ’

“I thought Louis threw this?”

“He thought he threw it,” he smirked toothily as he walked towards his wife and snatched it from her hands “He didn’t know that his Papa saved it.”

Marinette gave him a beady look “You know that Louis will throw that again, right?”

“Not if we keep it.” Adrien retorted cheekily.

She rolled her eyes indignantly “C’mon, Kitty. This is just a dumb cheering banner you made for Louis’ fencing tournament, and he really hates it so much he had to knock his opponents in a short record time because he didn’t want to see that banner waving on his sight!”

“That’s more the reason why we have to keep it!”

“You’re just keeping this because of the pun!”

“That’s because it’s a good pun!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Will you two just stop this marital fight?” Plagg hovered above their faces, scowling “You’re both adults, for Kwami’s sake, not a toddler!”

“What Plagg was saying,” Tikki added with a smile “That you two were shouting so loud the neighbors heard your bickerings.”

The couple blushed furiously and apologetically resumed to their task.

Soon they had finished with the last box, and after repacking it - There was nothing in there they would have actually gotten rid of, they went through it for memories and to kill time - went back to work on the other boxes. Thankfully there weren’t that many that had been abandoned for the four years since they last moved.

They Lapsed into silence for a little bit, each finding their own boxes of miscellaneous things to go through. Occasional laughs, or questions, broke the silence, but for the most part it was just that. Silence as they prepared for a huge change that was to come.

[cyanthrope]

Attention Fellow Borderlands Fans

I come to you with a humble request to help me find a piece of fanart.

it would have been posted sometime between bltps’s release Oct 14 2015 and bl3′s release Sep 13 2019. It’s a piece where Jack is branding Timothy’s face with an iron to give him a matching scar, and Jack specifically says something to the effect of “This is gonna hurt you more than it’s gonna hurt me.” 

things I’m less sure on: I believe it may have been a 2-4 panel comic? I think Timothy was sitting down or kneeling, possibly tied down. There might have been a panel where the branding iron casts a shadow onto Timothy’s face over where it will be pressed

both my friend and I are absolutely certain that we saw this piece before we got into the fandom proper but have had no luck finding it again and it’s driving us NUTS. Maybe it’s driving someone else out there nuts too?

I know this is a silly little ask and you’d be going out of your way and I don’t expect anything to come of this. But  if you can’t help, sharing it around would be deeply appreciated. Thank you

[smoshgoshbefosh]

October 12th :o

Dude you got two videos pretty early on. That doesn't usually happen until 2011/2012 ish. Very exciting!

What Smosh Videos were Posted on Your Birthday?

2008:

Boxman for President- Smosh Main

Smosh Boxman "President" Dance How To(+Contest)- Smosh Main

2009:

No videos uploaded October 12

2010:

No videos uploaded October 12

2011:

No videos uploaded October 12

2012:

How to Annoy a Gamer- Smosh Main

Best Video Game Weapons- Smosh Games

Facing Off in Mortal Kombat- Smosh Games

2013:

This Will Break Your Brain- Smosh Pit

The Zombie Apocalypse Needs No Story (Gamer Nation)- Smosh Games

2014:

New Smosh Games Members?? (Bonus)- Smosh Games

2015:

Watching Old Videos 5- Smosh Pit

Lasercorn is a Pyromaniac! (Maricraft)- Smosh Games

2016:

Every Bird Ever- Smosh Main

Hacked to Death in Watchdogs 2 (Press Start)- Smosh Games

2017:

Extreme Clothes Swap Challenge (Squad Vlogs)- Smosh Pit

2018:

No uploads October 12

2019:

No uploads October 12

2020:

Every White Friend Ever- Smosh Main

2021:

Try Not To Laugh 80 (Luck of The Dice)- Smosh Pit

Mystery Krispy Kreme Challenge (w/Steve Zargoza)- Smosh Games

2022:

We Surprised our Friends with an Award Show- Smosh Main

2023:

Anthony Reacts to "Where's Anthony" Jokes- Smosh Pit

Remember when Slenderman was The Scariest Thing on the Internet? (Short)- Smosh Games

Can You Guess the Game from One Scene? (Shorts)- Smosh Games

Can Shayne Finally win A Match? (Live)- Smosh Games

[zeus-japonicus]

Hello! I was listening to one of the Below Decks episodes a while ago, and in one, you mentioned how historically, Western gender roles were created/have been used to make colonialism easier. I'm working on an academic thing where I'm considering bringing this up, and I was wondering if you remembered any of the places you read this? Discussion/essay type sources are preferred (for my own readability lmao) but contemporary pieces would also be really helpful! Thank you, and I'm really enjoying the show!!

Hello friend - here are some good places to start, though as ever you'll find some bangers in their bibliographies :D

Reading:

McClintock, Anne. Imperial Leather: Race, Gender, and Sexuality in Colonial Contest. Routledge. 1995.  

Redman, Samuel J., Bone Rooms: from scientific racism to human prehistory in museums. Harvard University Press. 2016. 

Saini, Angela. Superior: The Return of Race Science. Beacon Press. 2019. 

Schuller, Kyla. The Biopolitics of Feeling: Race, Sex, and Science in the Nineteenth Century. Duke University Press, 2018. 

Wickramasinghe, Nira. Colonial Servitude And Resistance In Sri Lanka. Colombia University Press, 2020. 

Watching:

Little Bear, Leroy. “Big Thinking and Rethinking: Blackfoot metaphysics 'waiting in the wings'. Reflections by a Blackfoot.” University of Calgary - Humanities and Social Sciences Congress 2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_txPA8CiA4  

Linnaeus Society. "Linnaeus, Race and Sex" https://youtu.be/BliDKUS_XKg (Notes can be found here: https://www.linnean.org/learning/who-was-linnaeus/linnaeus-and-race)

Hope that helps, and good luck with your research :)

[heavenboy09]

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 To You

The Most Funniest & Sexiest Blonde Haired American Actress 👱‍♀️ In Cinema 🎥 Today

Born On February 10th,  1974

Banks was born and raised in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, the eldest of four children of Ann (née Wallace) and Mark P. Mitchell. Her father, a Vietnam War veteran, was a factory worker for General Electric, and her mother worked in a bank. She described her family as "very meat-and-potatoes, old-school Irish Catholic." Growing up, she played baseball and rode horses. She was in Little League when she broke her leg sliding into third base. She then tried out for the school play, which was her start in acting.

She is an American actress and filmmaker. She is known for playing chaperone Effie Trinket in The Hunger Games film series (2012–2015) and an ICCA commentator in the Pitch Perfect film series (2012–2017). She made her directorial film debut with Pitch Perfect 2 (2015), whose $69 million opening-weekend gross set a record for a first-time director. She has since directed the action comedy Charlie's Angels (2019) and the horror comedy film Cocaine Bear (2023). Banks founded the film and television production company Brownstone Productions in 2002 with her husband, Max Handelman.

Banks made her film debut in the low-budget independent film Surrender Dorothy (1998). She has appeared in the films Wet Hot American Summer (2001), Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy (2002–2007), Seabiscuit (2003), The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Slither (2006), Invincible (2006), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008), Role Models (2008), The Next Three Days (2010), Man on a Ledge (2012), What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012), Movie 43 (2013), The Lego Movie (2014) and The Lego Movie 2 (2019), Love & Mercy (2014), Walk of Shame (2014), Magic Mike XXL (2015), Power Rangers (2017), Brightburn (2019), and Call Jane (2022).On television, Banks had a recurring role as Avery Jessup on the NBC sitcom 30 Rock (2010–2012), which earned her two Primetime Emmy Award nominations. She also had recurring roles on the comedy series Scrubs (2006–2009) and Modern Family (2009–2020), the latter of which earned her a third Primetime Emmy Award nomination. She starred in the Netflix miniseries Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp (2015) and Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017). Since 2019, Banks has hosted the ABC revival of the game show Press Your Luck.

Please Wish This Recognizable Funny & Sexy Blonde Haired American Actress 👱‍♀️Of Cinema 🎥 A Very Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊

YOU KNOW HER

SHE ALWAYS TICKLES YOUR FUNNY BONE 😆

& SHE IS STILL FINE AS AGED WINE 🍷

THE 1

& THE ONLY

MS. ELIZABETH IRENE MITCHELL AKA ELIZABETH BANKS 🏦 👱‍♀️❤

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 TO YOU MS. BANKS 🏦 & HERE'S TO MANY MORE YEARS TO COME

#ElizabethBanks #SpiderManTrilogy #30Rock #Scrubs #PitchPerfect #WalkOfShame #TheHungerGamesTrilogy #PowerRangers #CharliesAngels #Migration