#preserving my tags for the ages
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#hurt/comfort#heavy on the hurt#feat good friend Cherri Bomb#she'll show up more in the next chapter#playing fast and loose with the timeline for story reasons but also vibes#flip phone just feels more angel dust yknow#punk was slang for gay btw#if you don't feel like looking it up#thank you captain america fandom for that knowledge#an old draft had angel explaining it but it made the scene clunky#sorry this fic is so sad it... uh... gets worse from here#sorry
Angel meets a one-eyed woman outside a club; they're both in line for the same vending machine. She's got sick tattoos and they've got the same taste in drugs; by the end of the night they're leaning on each other to stay upright, giggling about some loser they conned into paying for their latest round of drinks.
"Y'know," she slurs, sinking a little further into him, "I was pretty pissed off when I realized I was in Hell. I mean, I knew why, but, like, I dunno, I thought it was gonna suck, you know? But now that I know there are nightclubs and bitches like you down here, it can't be that bad. You know?"
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Chapter Two of My Body Is An Orphanage (We Take Everyone In) is on AO3 now! Featuring: Is Vox worried about him or just being a creep? Who introduced cellphones to Hell? And what did "punk" mean when Angel was alive?
The timeline is a little wobbly since I'm pretty sure Cherri died before Velvette, and Angel's first phone should probably be a 90s brick and not a flip phone... just go with it.
Chapter CW: alcohol/drug use & addiction, abusive relationship, sex work, explicit sexual content, dubious consent, sexual assault, non-consensual drug use (implied drugged drink), Val's pheromones. The roughest part of the chapter is a post-assault scene where Angel realizes a drink was probably drugged. This chapter also majorly features the ups and downs of a (physically, sexually, financially, emotionally) abusive relationship. As always, take care of yourselves my loves <3
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The Herta (gynoid herta design)
#it was never about how bad original design is but about my liking of old fictional science ladies#big love for real herta who was brilliantly smart to found a way to preserve her nerve system without a body and live for centuries#in my rewriting her physical body died at old age from brain removal she planned carefully throughout her life#she was tall individual with poetic look close to virginia woolf or anna akhmatova but people rarely even reached her level of perception#she was mostly alone but never ever it bothered her as she knew she is exceptional from beginning#she made her gynoids smaller for better mobility and modernized them herself by hands of her old robots#she lives as a part of super computer and watches everyone from data banks in cloud services#honkai star rail#hsr#the herta#herta hsr#my art#sketch tag#redesign
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nothing good comes from a house fire. but it wasnt a house fire actually. whatever
#myhouse.wad#myhouse.pk3#inscryption#kaycee hobbes#my art#i cld write an entire essay on these two games' parallels#preserving legacy in a digital age. how friends leave an impact on you and how you leave an impact on them#sometimes friendship is modding a floppy disk and then dying about it#but are you really dead if your legacy lives forever#also theres fires in both of them or something#also also yes i know myhouse is more abt romantic love i just used ‘friends’ so i didnt hit the tag word limit
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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mother, i am back on my bullshit once more
#squirrel plays dragon age#i think there was a tag like that back in the day#I've renamed Arie to Aren in my head; Ara as a nickname#“Arenlor” always felt a bit weird in my mouth#so I kinda just have her as Aren Lorna Aeducan in my head#the EA client didn't appear to preserve my played hours but i assure you- i was well over 1k hours in dai#and about 500-ish in origins maybe????
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Honestly I love Tolkien's works so much but I think my favorite part about it is playing in the sandbox- more specifically I love developing lore and headcanons that compliment and flesh out things that were there, and add in things that are missing. I love thinking about pre-fall Arnor- what did Evendim export in terms of economy? What crops did they grow, what things did they make, how the geography would inform these things, etc- a lot of these things possibly only be hinted at in old relics and records not destroyed at Fornost or the passage of time. How would reconstruction happen in the Fourth Age? What do you focus on first? How do you preserve ruins of the past and yet build upon their bones in their memory? What alliances in Eriador could you make to help bolster the economy and make trade agreements? (I am not a "hur dur what's Aragorn's tax policy type of person bc this is fantasty first and foremost and there's a balance to be had.) I love thinking about post-fall of Arnor and the Dúnedain- they're mostly nomadic with at least one canon settlement and what that would entail. The horror of your people living through what seems like multiple end of all days. The hardships endured, the harsh lifestyle that would be followed-what does their diet look like? What would they carry in their bags? How often do they go out on patrol before coming back? Is there a system put in place so no one Ranger is too fatigued, and gets time to rest and recuperate? Older generations teaching the younger- and even Dúnadain who choose not to become Rangers, and still support their community in other ways; the weavers, the growers, the metalsmiths, etc... how tight knit everyone would be! My mind just bounces around with so many ideas with little chance to really put them down anywhere! That's just a small taste of what it's like to write with me lol.
#;ooc#(was on a call with luca the other day and he was listening to my ideas about what 4th age evendim and annuminas would look like in terms)#(of economy....i got so excited bc i LOVE annuminas and have been rebuilding the city in my head and redesigning it better)#(bc annuminas is to osgiliath as fornost is to minas tirith)#(former beautiful capitals of arnor and gondor that were abandoned and moved to fortresses instead)#(me in palpaltine voice: have you heard of the tragedy of arnor and the dunedain)#me: okay so annuminas would probably have a lot of timber and they could make BOATS bc the lake is FUCKING HUGE. like RIDICULOUSLY HUGE)#(me: so they could sail up and down the brandywine. they also have a lot of ore and metal so metalsmithing would be good)#(but their TEXTILES!!!!!!! THEIR TEXTILES WOULD BE SO IMPORTANT!!! WEAVING SAILS IS SO EXPENSIVE AND SO HARD AND LABORIOUS)#(love the idea of the dúnedain women having preserved and passed down the knowledge of theirweaving- even if its small scale for clothes)#(like numenoreans wouldve absolutely had some of the best boat makers and sail makers in the fucking world. you cant tell me they wouldnt)#(fuck you tumblr for tag limits)#(they wouldnt sail the FUCK out of lake evendim)#(boat making probably falls out of their knowledge bc. not very handy when youre a ranger......perhaps lost with time and fornost)#(but some things would be preserved in gondor too)#(anyways im rambling........i miss having other rangers to write with :'()
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I had some saved from an artist but there he is more plump rather than just having a chubby belly 🙏
I'm actually kind of surprised, I didn't initially see Dragunov's personality as one prone to indulging.
But I guess as almost a joke or plain gap-moe, I hc'd that he had a bit of a vice in the form of sweets (idk why but the pink tank models scene kickstarted it) then I just kept seeing it in the wild/others got on board and here we are lol
now I think more, and it's kind of interesting for him have some thing(s) so antithetical to his fighter/soldier lifestyle and overall cold, almost inhuman vibe that he's kept safe from the nature of his job and still likes? so that this scarred and chiseled Spetznaz officer doing something chill like enjoying a nice piece of cake or etc. in the first place, even gaining some weight could be a fun way to show he's content and safe as an opposite to hours of training and war. idk. I tend to do a lot of experimental musing lol
#T8 Drag looks rough now that I think of it.#His cheekbones were always high and prominent but in 8 the flesh is lean- almost worn at his jaw#which I said before im thinking might just be age. now that I'm the same age as Dragunov I noticed a more mature/less soft look to my face#I have high cheekbones too though so maybe it's just The Curse#Man i did not mean to ramble but the war b/w#Dragunov's perfectionism + wants and humanity + possible repression of that humanity in the name of his own preservation#and stuff is making the weird little gears in my head turn. I may be ruining poor Dragunov on this page but at least#it's squirreled away in personal tags heh#.ask/answer#.dragu#lol thank you for the ask(s) idk if same nonny though idk why this spurred such rambling soz#also j/s I've always been thin so if I say anything unaware you guys have my full permission to bonk me on the head and correct me/add- etc
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Putting the funny Todoroki fam story here like a little ticket stub in a journal bc I was suddenly reminded of it:
So, back in late 2022 (before I started watching MHA again, but I credit this experience with putting the show back on my radar even if it was not the final full-body shove), I was listening to some playlist on Spotify, and this song came on. To me, it was stunning, and poignant, and compelling--the vocals, the imagery, the story it told. I thought this was a song about a narrator with the world's most complicated relationship with her family and her home I had ever heard. I said to myself 'I simply must know more. I must know what inspired such lyricism.'
The song was "Brother" by Madds Buckley. It's an MHA fan song about Dabi. I learned this in a Barnes & Noble parking lot and almost broke something laughing while simultaneously texting my sister because HEY THAT DABI GUY WAS A TODOROKI AFTER ALL AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS HOW I FOUND OUT.
#for the record i think it's really beautiful that a story inspired a song#and i still listen to it all the time#even if at first i thought 'as my hair filled with gray' was a poetic way of talking about aging#i remember hearing 'oh brother i am home in the fires of our youth#i could care less if it hurts you anymore' and being like DAMN okay. what is going on here#and what was going on was anime#i've been told that there are other mha songs on the album but haven't listened to it yet#i'm preserving the ✨magic✨#liza blather#liza watches mha#liza's tunes tag
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🤥 😨 💤🍟✨
your. favourite oc + venera if. they're not your favourite oc
there were. a lot of questions but i didnt wanna bombard you/hj
oh no I love. answering oc questions actually. do bombard next time there was a lot of good ones on this list I would not mind answering
🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?
venera has the capacity to be a good liar, but would not have a reason to utilize this ability under typical circumstance. antag!venera (I really need to get a better shorthand to refer to her) does frequently have to utilize this ability for various differing reasons including, but not at all limited to, their general knowledge of the world, their general identity, their past, their relation to somewhat antagonistic celestial primates, how they came into existence, what they even are, who they even are, and what they know. they don't really have any avert tells to the fact they are lying, but I'd imagine venera would pull it off better then antag!venera purely by the fact she has a much better resting face (antag!venera looks suspicious always. it's the macaque in her. it makes her seem very untrustworthy, unfortunately. even when not lying) 😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"? it depends the context. antagonist venera's entire thing is that they flight-ed so hard they lived in a cave underground disconnected from society for a thousand or so years. but I'd imagine if sufficiently freaked out, and not given time to rationally think out their actions, they'd both resort to fight on pure reflex.
💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep? I think venera hypothetically sleeps easily when they remember to do it, but they often forget that's something they need to do on any level because of shapeshifter and celestial primate biology coming together in a weird mix that makes it so while venera doesn't need to sleep to stay alive, they still will be very negatively affected by not doing it after a week or so. they sleep easier when not on beds. they tend to not like the lack of comfort that comes from a bed vs something like a tree that's infinitely more comfortable and occasionally comes pre-equipped with food to eat upon waking. antagonist v does not sleep well. or often. though unlike venera they did not, in fact, luck out on the transformation process, and so they do in fact need to do it semi-often in order to stay alive. they sleep best when in dark, somewhat loud, soft environments, ideally a nice bush in a forest but they also can settle for just a normal dark bed room with some white noise or something. 🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?
antagonist venera survived several hundred years eating nothing but moss and the occasional bug. they are somehow still very picky. they don't like the kind of processed food that's in favour these days since they have had no way to adjust to the change of culture over time. even the fruit tastes different now. antagonist venera does not like 90% of all food available and trusts no ones judgement on what they should be able to eat that isn't their own, including macaques. macaque also does not favour processed foods, but he's still able to eat it without throwing it up - so antagonist venera cannot in good faith trust his judgement on food related things. they prefer cooking their own. venera prefers ordering out. they've been pretending for years now they don't know what an oven is and they aren't about to back down now. though they get sick of it sometimes and occasionally lack the funds, so they'll just go around and steal things from fruit trees every so often.
on the last one - I think you meant ❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value? ?? but not sure
antagonist venera actually owns very little. the clothes on his back is basically it. he loves those clothes. he is very protective of said clothing. it does not help that they were technically a gift from a friend, so he feels even more emotionally connected to them then he would have otherwise. venera collects things from different eras that they like the shape of, or general energy of. right now their most prized possession is a book of sorts that they 'collected' (read; stole) from ancient greece during the dark ages. they can't read ancient greek. they have no idea what the book says or even is. for all they know it's some random guy's diary. they refuse to let anyone else read it all the same.
#for that last one; a lot of literature was lost during the dark ages of ancient greece#and I thought it'd be fun if venera accidentally stole something SUPER important to understanding some vital thing about the culture#and they just. don't know. because they can't read it.#fun little fact I guess ; ancient greece fell like something 30-100 years after the journey to the west canonically took place.#so venera really did get something good RIGHT before that. crazy timing#originally I was just going to let him grab a statue or something but they wouldn't have known how to preserve it#and she wouldn't have found any aesthetic value in them either (the coloring is. definitely the choice that was made on most of them.)#so book it was#venera.#ask games#oh fuck right ask tag#voices of the void#cool. reference to another one of my ocs I guess#fallout: canon aligned venera#oc things
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the agony of being a fan of the “villain who also is/acts like an uncle/parent/guardian figure to the protagonist” and “funny road trip” tropes and also sinking too much emotional investment into pokemon ranger guardian signs characters means my white whale of a fanfiction is post game summers out doing some international mission r something. maybe undercover idk but it’s something where she’s mostly cut off from official support. and mewtwo finally decides to spit Ed out of whatever limbo portal rand and him got Got in back on the sky fortress and now she’s gotta deal with this bullshit, and all the hurt that came w his betrayal that she thought she successfully buried is suddenly there again like it was just yesterday gs happened (except it’s been marinating for a few years at least so now it’s uhh definitely off color a bit) and Ed’s gotta deal with his survival being entirely reliant on the girl who effectively wild card-nullified any reputation n standing he built and decades of work towards world domination in the span of a month (maybe two). and despite the fact that they both feel very deep resentment towards each other they still had a genuine friendship in Oblivia and still very clearly see aspects of themselves in the other and they’re both stuck trying to reconcile the urge to fall back into that familiar weird grandpa n weirder grandchild dynamic versus the urge to scream at each other until their voices give out.
#and then the. what'd you call it in writing terms but the bridge of the story#y’know like towards the end#THE CLIMAX THERE YOU GO#the climax summers. hurt bad or something and maybe somewhere along the road Ed’s acquired a Something that’ll give him a shot at eternal#life or whatever#or maybe not#but what it comes down to is that he chooses to you use that McGuffin (or not if there’s no McGuffin) to keep her alive instead of saving i#for himself#chooses to help heal the next generation and the generations to come instead of trying to preserve a dead and dying age#bc Thats His Granddaughter and despite her taking a wrecking ball to his life’s work#he cares abt her very much and wants to see her thrive#wants to see her live#idk how it would end in regards to what happens to him#like if he’d go to prison or not#thematic narrative says he’s probably pass. accepting death n all that but that’s sad :(#and that’s another thing he’s have to grapple w - would the rest of the Societea be dead by then#his closest friends like family separated by space and now by possibly death#well one of two white whales of a fanfiction#my art#<- tagging for reference
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anxiety has been bothering me on and off all day but i am eating a sb&j sandwhich, watching vinny play metroid prime, and drinking a small bowl of milk
#yes thats right i said small bowl#i only have like 2 mugs rn and im making tea in one of them so i dont wanna get the other one dirty#so im using and itty bitty bowl to drink milk out of#it works in a pinch#sb is sunbutter bc im allergic to peanut butter#also i put too much raspberry preserve on this :/#also re metroid its really interesting that like. 20 years later.#not only am i no longer terrified of metroid bc trauma. but im actually mildly curious about it.#ive overcome the trauma of seeing samus get shot to death with lasers at the age of 5#5 year olds probably shouldnt have unsupervised access to their older sister's video games#catgirl musings#yknow i picked 'catgirl musings' as my personal rambling tag on a whim and figured i would change it later but it seems its stuck
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So my laptop's screen is busted and there's this
annoying blindspot on it. It keeps getting bigger and is the bane of my existence.
Anyway because of it, I walked right into a bunch of darkspawn and my Warden, dear sweet Allysen Cousland, goes, "Darkspawn have sensed us!"
Yeah, no shit 🤣
#i had to pause i was laughing so hard#that is a bold choice of words but i guess it preserves our dignity? XD#malice's dragon age adventures#now there's a tag i haven't used in a bit#but it's too hot for my poor laptop to run sims rn#so dragon age it is
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The House of Sin. (part 1)
Rating: 18+ MDNI. You read at your own risk.
Pairing: Father Charlie Mayhew x housekeeper!fem!reader
Summary: Your very religious family decides to preserve you from the evil of the world by entrusting you to Father Charlie as his housekeeper. You’re welcome in the House of Sin.
TW (for this part): NSFW. SMUT. blasphemy; mentions and references to catholic themes (some of them are prob inaccurate sorry); reader is very religious (but not innocent); mentions of blood; graphic description of self-inflicted flagellation; masturbation; voyeurism; swearing.
a/n: English is not my first language, so please be kind bc this took me so long to translate (lol), if you wanna be added to the tag-list for the next part lemme know with a comment pls
Enjoy xx
Father Charlie Mayhew had always been faithful and devoted to the promises he made before God when he decided to please Him for the rest of his earthly life, and with the same devotion he always made an effort to spread love for God within his parish.
In his whole life, he never felt the slightest desire to act in opposition to the Lord's word, he never succumbed to temptation, and his spirit never entertained the idea of sinning.
He was the perfect servant, the best guide for his parish, and for the faithful whom the Lord entrusted to him.
Or at least that was what everyone believed about him, including your parents, who thought that offering you the position of Father Charlie’s housekeeper would be the best way to protect you from the vices and dangers of the outside world.
Your father was a strict and religious man who raised you with rules and discipline, so you accepted his decisions without question.
Father Charlie knew your family well and recognized your parents' honesty and devotion, so he had high expectations for you, and you would’ve met all of them.
The initial period of living together at his house was quite peaceful, and being with him felt comfortable from the very first day. You spent your days peacefully working for him, cleaning his house and the church, doing laundry, and preparing lunch and dinner. Nevertheless, you always found a moment for prayer. You shared everything with him and you were grateful and respectful at the point you considered him a master despite his young age.
You recognized your parents' admiration for him, and you shared it too because he was a decent man who cared for all his faithful and his mission as God's servant. He was charismatic, persuasive, and seemingly flawless. To be honest, his personality intrigued you. You had to admit that sometimes you found him charming, but those were just fleeting thoughts that you quickly pushed aside— till tonight.
It’s late at night; all the lights are off, and Father Charlie has retired to his room about an hour ago.
You’ve just finished washing the dishes and are getting ready for the night. As you prepare to head to the room he had assigned to you when you first arrived, a flicker of light and subtle noise from his door catch your attention as you walk through the hallway.
At first, you think it’s just a perception, but as your feet slow down until they stop in the hallway, you realize your ears are not wrong.
Driven by curiosity you approach the door slowly, trying not to make a sound as you peek through the half-closed door to see out what is happening inside his room. But, you know, sometimes curiosity can kill.
You freeze. Your jaw drops, and your eyes widen as they look straight at the scene being etched in your memory.
Father Charlie sits at the edge of the bed, fully exposed to your gaze, the soft light casting shadows on his bare skin. His back is turned to the painting of Jesus Christ hanging on the wall, a watchful presence above him from which he is trying to hide himself.
He’s panting. He’s completely naked. With one hand around his cock.
His eyes are closed and his slightly parted lips release soft moans of pleasure, the rhythm of his breath filling the quiet room. A sheen of sweat glistens on his naked body as he keeps moving his left hand at a rapid pace, trying to set himself free from the lustful thoughts that had taken over his body as soon as possible.
Your breath breaks.
You can’t believe it. Father Charlie has succumbed to the desire of the flesh, his soul becoming stained by a sin he should never have committed. Not him. Not a priest like him.
And without knowing, he‘s pulling you into the Devil’s claws with him.
Because no matter how shocked you are, and no matter how hard you’re mentally cursing yourself for being overcome by curiosity, your eyes are glued to his magnificent body and cannot tear themselves away from it.
You are expected to go, but you can't. You don't want to.
For the first time in your whole yet short life, you hear it. That voice. The voice of temptation.
You continue to stare at him with bated breath, wishing that show will never end.
"Ah, fuck..." he groans and you shudder.
A shiver goes straight to your core, and you immediately feel an urge to clench your thighs together to hold back an unusual tickle that you had never experienced so strongly before.
However, it is not sufficient.
Forgive me, Father… you think. Your cheeks redden with shame as the last bit of reason fades away from you at that precise moment your right hand goes straight under the cloth of your sundress, and just as if it has been guided by a dark and sinister force it sneaks between your legs, right in your cotton panties.
For I have sinned.
You aren’t used to touching yourself, and even if you had done it on rare occasions you'd never imagined doing it like this— secretly watching your priest as he does the same thing.
Soon you realize that something inside you is changing rapidly. It‘s just a tiny spark, but it can set your whole body on fire in no time.
And it’s all his fault.
Your fingertips slide between your already-soaked folds, coating in juices that flow out of you like a river, and then you start teasing yourself shamefully, trying to focus on the scene in front of you to avoid those pitiful and lonely voices that keep whispering to you to stop.
“Yes…” he licks his lower lip and for a brief moment you imagine how good, how pleasant it could be the feeling of his wet tongue on your skin, exactly where your hand is. It’s so, so wrong and you know it, but you can’t control yourself. It’s overwhelming.
His nudity contrasts sharply with the solemnity of the image behind him. He looks so vulnerable, so…
“So good…” he says between moans. You want to know what he’s thinking, what kind of images are guiding his imagination— if you’re part of them too.
His forearm anchors on the mattress to balance himself, and his hips buck against his hand to gain more friction.
“Oh, God…” his broad chest is heaving with every breath that escapes his lungs as you try your best to swallow every squeak, careful not to get caught right there.
Sweat covers his forehead, small drops sliding down his ecstatic face and neck, igniting your deepest fantasies while your fingertips rub at your clit in circular motions, mimicking the pace at which he’s stroking his length.
You can’t help but look at it. Thick and veiny, the tip red and leaking with precum, your pussy throbs around nothing at the mere idea of putting his whole girth in your virgin mouth and knowing how good it could taste.
The man bites his lips and you do it too in reflection.
You are a mess. Your trembling thighs are soaked by the juices dripping from your aching pussy as you frantically touch yourself. Your entire being lies completely under the tight grip of the Devil, ensnared in a web of darkness that seeks to control every thought, feeling, and action.
His strokes become erratic, and his eyebrows knit together in a mixture of pain and bliss. He is close… and in such a short time you are too. Your teeth bite your lower lip until it bleeds, in a desperate attempt to hold back a whine. But you don't stop. You will not do it until he will too.
All of a sudden, his hand stops. A guttural sound of satisfaction slips past his throat reaching your ears as he throws his head back and the orgasm washes over him.
The tight knot in your belly snaps and thousands of shocks invade your body from head to toe. Your vision goes blurry, your mind goes fuzzy and your knees get weak like jelly.
You’ve just reached the peak without even knowing it.
Thick ropes of his white seed spill from his throbbing cock, falling right on his palm and stomach.
Your mouth waters at the sight, you can swear that if only it had been possible you’d walk into that damn room and kneel in between his huge thighs just to lick him clean and suck the soul out of him, making him cum again and again and again.
For God’s sake, those thoughts will send you straight to hell!
Silence takes his moans’ place, and his eyes open slightly as his breathing searches for a more regular pace, just like yours.
You pull out your hand from your soaked panties. A wave of post-orgasmic sense of guilt crashes over you. You have just sinned. Right now is time to go to your room and get some rest, forgetting what have just happened and never thinking again about it, and yet your eyes and your feet are stuck right here, quivering for his next moves.
Everything has been so tempting and your body wants more.
He suddenly gets up from the mattress and makes his way towards the antique dresser next to the bed. A bowl full of water is on top of it, and he quickly dips both his hands inside of it to his wrists, washing away every sign of the sinful act he had just committed—unaware it’s happened in front of you.
From that spot, his body is perfectly exposed to your gaze, and your mind takes advantage of this to explore new, undiscovered places.
He‘s tall, radiant, and huge. He looks like a classical statue. His broad chest and chiseled abs seem to be sculpted in marble, just like his thick thighs and the strong and muscular arms he usually hides under the vestments.
He’s handsome.
Only the Lord knows what those arms are capable of, how those big and veiny hands would be able to touch and grab a woman’s body- your body. How good his mouth would be able to kiss you, bite you, lick you, satisfying the most private parts of you like no one ever did. If only he didn’t have to respect the vows of celibacy and obedience... if only he didn't choose to refuse lust and resist temptation for the rest of his life…
He wipes his hands with a clean towel near the basin, heavy breathing releasing from his lungs as if he wants to get rid of that slamming weight on his shoulders. The weight of the mortal sin he has just given into, the reason why he deserves to be punished— and maybe you deserve it too.
You see him going through the drawer and picking something before he lifts the wooden kneeler to the side. And when he approaches the bed again, you recognize the scourge in his hand.
Your heartbeat down faster as soon as you realize what’s going to happen. Father Charlie places the kneeler in front of the bed, exactly where he was before, and turnes his back to you, revealing his broad shoulders and his back previously tortured by the hits he self-inflicted with the tool he’s now placing on the sheets.
A bunch of shivers flood your body from head to toe, trepassing your spine. You see the still-opened wounds and cuts on his pale skin, the clear signs of every time he sinned and begged for forgiveness.
He kneels and firmly takes the scourge in his right hand. Seven cords, seven barbs for the seven deadly sins, and seven virtues.
The mortification of the flesh.
It‘s the only way to deaden his sinful nature and bring back his focus to the only thing he pledged to honour even after his bodily death.
He rests his elbows on the board, with his back straight as he looks at the white wall in front of him, his eyes filled with certainty and confidence.
He stands right there unshaken, keeping you on edge for his next move before his lips parts and he speaks.
"Merciful Lord, I come before You seeking forgiveness and healing" with a rapid flick of his hand he whips himself violently, making you gasp in shock. You hear him holding his breath, trying his best not to cry and scream from pain, and then he spakes again.
"f-for the sin of lust that… dwells within me." another lash, another flinch from you. Cords are already leaving marks and bruises, you can feel how much they sting on his skin and on his previous wounds as the sharp edges sink on his back mercilessly.
"I confess m-my weakness in giving in to… impure desires" his stomach jolts in pain, and his dilated pupils stare blankly at the painting on the wall as his lips tremble with each syllable "and… indulging in lustful t-thoughts and actions t-that offend… You."
A lot of blood starts gushing out from his wounds, staining the cords with a bright red color.
You cover your mouth in shock. You can see the pained look on his face, pleasure has completely abandoned his now-suffering body that‘s writhing at the feeling of those rusty barbs tearing his flesh apart at every whipping, painting the cold floor with the spatters of his own blood.
Father Charlie is asking for forgiveness, pleading the Lord to save him and have mercy on his damned soul, because he is aware of the burden on his shoulders and he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.
And the only way to regain his purity is through suffering, through that physical pain that can purify both his body and soul, leaving him weak and miserable like a dazed sailor who lost his compass and cannot find the horizon.
"Purify my heart" he barely mutters, too exhausted "renew my mind" his forearms lost their grip on the rubbed wood of the kneeler forcing him to cling to it as strength slowly leaves his body. You watch him with an alarmed look on your face, worried about his state "and sanctify my body as Your temple."
A final statement spoken with a broken voice before Father Charlie immediately collapses on the wooden structure, visibly in a worn out state. Spurting blood stains his bare back, his eyelids squeeze trying to kill the pain of that one last whip that completely slashed his flesh.
You accidentally step back with your left foot, producing a nearly undetectable noise that forces you to lean your hand against the wall to keep balance in an attempt not to get caught. Too late.
Father Charlie turns around quickly, towards the door he previously left slightly ajar. His gloomy eyes meet yours even if shrouded in darkness. Your heart stops in your chest, becoming like a stone falling into a bottomless pit.
Shit.
a/n: part 2?
#father charlie smut#father charlie x reader#father charlie mayhew#drabble#smut#one shot#love#blurb#fluff#angst#father charlie mayhew x reader#father charlie grotesquerie#grotesquerie#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas alexander chavez smut#nicholas alexander chavez x reader#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#imagine#nicholas alexander chavez imagine#nicholas chavez one shot#father charlie mayhew one shot#monsters#cooper koch
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Match
Summary : You finally found your intellectual match in Bucky Barnes.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x rare book dealer!reader (she/her)
Warnings/tags : You and Bucky are nerds (affectionate), mentions of his past. Sexual tension-filled philosophical debate. DC comics exist in the MCU as literature as per the guardians Christmas special lol. Cursing? Steamy not smut. Fluff!!!!
Word count : 5.7k
Note : This fic was inspired by that one scene in FATWS where Bucky said he read the hobbit. I just really like the idea that Bucky really really likes to read. Enjoy!
Rare books were not just a job to you, but a vocation. You spent your days seeking out treasures, preserving them, and connecting them with people who could truly appreciate their worth. Your little shop was a haven of creaking wooden floors and shelves brimming with the worn spines of countless literary works, sunlight streaming through the tall windows.
It was your home.
On a quiet Tuesday, the bell over the door jingled.
At first, you assumed the man who walked in was lost or killing time— maybe a tourist who thought your shop was an antique or souvenir shop (you’ve gotten a lot of those over the years).
He didn’t fit your usual profile of a customer—no tweed jackets or scholarly glasses. No suit and tie, no clean white blouse. This one was confident, albeit rough on the edges. His leather jacket and heavy boots belonged in a biker gang, his long hair brushing beautifully against his shoulders. But it was his left arm that drew your gaze—a sleek, black metal hand peeking out of his sleeve, rippling slightly when he moved.
You recognized him instantly: James Buchanan Barnes.
The former Winter Soldier.
A man who belonged to history books and legends. Seeing him in person was... surreal. No article had prepared you for the magnetism he carried, no photo did him justice.
Still, you weren’t one to swoon. And you definitely weren’t about to let him see you staring a little too long into his steely blue eyes.
“Can I help you?” you asked, keeping your voice calm and professional.
For a second, he seemed to weigh whether or not to answer. “I’m looking for a first edition of The Hobbit.”
You blinked.
That wasn’t what you’d expected.
“It’s in the case over here,” you replied, recovering quickly. You led him to the glass display where one of your most cherished possessions lay nestled, secure and pristine.
He muttered something like ‘just like I remember’ as he gazed at the book, his voice close to reverence.
“Big fan?” you ventured, curious.
His lips curved up, into a faint smile. He nodded. “Always admired how he built entire worlds. The languages, the histories.” He hesitated, his voice growing quieter. “He lived through hell in the trenches, too. And from that, he wrote something… hopeful.”
You hadn’t expected that depth of understanding, and your surprise must have been obvious. “What?” he asked, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Didn’t think I’d be the type?”
This was going to be fun, you thought.
You shrugged, trying to suppress a grin, “you’re not exactly my usual Tolkien collector.”
That earned you a sweet, gentle chuckle. “I didn’t think I’d be either, but I’ve always loved books,” he admitted, “They were one of the only constants after...” His voice faltered, remnants of his past briefly flashing behind his eyes.
You didn’t press. Instead, you followed his lead, steering the conversation back to Tolkien. “You're right about the worldbuilding. He wrote a full mythology— linguistic and cultural foundations and all. It’s like he created an alternate history.”
“Exactly.” Bucky’s smile returned, brighter this time. It had been ages since Bucky had an engaging, meaningful conversation that wasn’t about mission planning, let alone about a book. The heated, faceless debates with internet strangers—each convinced they were ultimately correct—definitely didn’t count. “It’s that attention to detail— You don’t see that much anymore.”
After that, the two of you fell into a rhythm, talking easily for nearly an hour. About Tolkien’s works, his love for language, and the way war had shaped his narratives. You even mentioned how Tolkien’s own experiences in World War I echoed the camaraderie and loss found in his stories. Bucky nodded along, sharing personal observations that surprised you—not just because of their insight, but because of how much he genuinely cared.
Back in the day, everyone saw Bucky as the classic jock, and to be fair, he was. But beneath the effortless charm, he was a nerd at heart—fascinated by books, obsessed with science, and captivated by innovation. It was Bucky who had dragged Steve along to the World Exposition of Tomorrow, it was Bucky who was eager to see Howard Stark’s presentation on flying cars. Back then, the future had been his fixation. It had been out of reach— a world of endless possibilities.
Now, he was drawn to the past.
He’d fallen in love with reading again. After all, he had a century of literature to catch up on. And with the internet at his fingertips, he had access to more knowledge and stories than he could have dreamed of.
40s Bucky would’ve had a heart attack from the sheer volume of information he could consume. For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t just chasing a vision of what might be—he was immersing himself in what already was.
Eventually, the conversation drifted to The Lord of the Rings.
“Did you read the trilogy?” you asked.
He nodded. “Only a couple of years ago. I didn’t even realize it was published after… everything.” He paused, frowning slightly, as if reaching into the murky depths of his memory.
Right. You did a quick mental tally based on the books you’ve read about him. The Hobbit was published in 1937, and The Fellowship of the Ring in 1954. Bucky was presumed killed in action in 1945 and captured by a terrorist organization. So, yeah—he’d missed it.
“Hydra,” you said the thought allowed before you could stop yourself.
You winced, bracing for impact. Oh no, you thought, have I crossed a line?
“You read about me?” he asked to your surprise, likely catching you deep in thought.
You shrugged, trying to play it cool, though your heart still beat out your chest. “Superheroes are a popular topic for peer-reviewed journals and doctoral theses. There’s a whole academic subfield about the Winter Soldier— a lot about your role in the war, too.”
His expression was unreadable, but you thought you saw a flicker of something— amusement? Whatever it was, it eased the tension you had accidentally created, and the conversation resumed.
You’ve read plenty about Bucky Barnes—the sharpshooter of the Howling Commandos, Captain America’s trusted sniper. You’ve probably read more about him in the modern age: scholars debating the pardon of the Winter Soldier, professors discussing the Sokovia Accords— a conflict in which he’d been a major player in. You’d disagreed with the Accords, of course, but that’s a story for another time.
Right now, your focus was on the man in front of you, talking about Tolkien and his wonderful languages. See, the peer-reviewed articles about him had painted a stark picture: a kind soul turned into a cold, unfeeling weapon. But they neglected to mention that even after everything, he was still a kind soul. In person, it was hard to reconcile the man before you with the image of a killer.
The paper also failed to mention a pleasant surprise: his mind. You realised now that Bucky Barnes wasn’t just a soldier; he was sharp, curious, a man who loved literature and sought out conversations that challenged him. It was something the world overlooked.
Yet it was there, just beneath the surface.
“Have you read the Silmarillion?” you ventured.
“I tried,” He grimaced. “Felt like reading a textbook. Not sure I even made it halfway.”
“That’s fair,” you admitted with a laugh. “It’s not the easiest read. But it’s worth it, I promise.”
Bucky didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t shut the idea down, either.
You made a snap decision. Reaching behind the counter, you pulled out your personal copy of The Silmarillion. It wasn’t a rare edition, but it was filled with your notes in the margins, a map you’d sketched for reference, and little Post-its marking key passages. “Take this,” you offered, holding it out to him.
He hesitated, not used to kindness from beautiful strangers. “You sure?”
“Absolutely. Hopefully the notes will make it easier. And don’t even worry about returning it,” you nodded, “It’s probably for the best. I obsess over it too much.”
He took the book, his metal fingers brushing against yours as he did, making your stomach flutter. “Thanks.”
“And if you’re curious about all those papers written about you...” You looked through bookmarks on your laptop, typing ‘James Barnes’ into the search bar. You jotted down a list of academic articles you’d read— some about his time in WWII, others about his unique role as a postwar icon. “Here. If you want to see what people are saying.”
He smiled that kind smile again, folding the paper carefully and tucked it into his jacket. “I appreciate it.”
When he left with the first edition of The Hobbit, your annotated Silmarillion, and your list of articles about him, you found yourself staring at the door long after it had closed, hoping it wasn’t the last time he’d visit your shop.
—
Bucky started coming in more frequently, always buying another rare book— Hemingway, Orwell, Lovecraft. The pretense was paper-thin, though, and you both knew it.
Sure, he enjoyed books, but by that point he knew he could’ve gotten cheaper copies on a bid online (rent in a big city was expensive)— and the books he bought weren't even that rare.
Each visit turned into a lengthy discussion that carried you through the night, far past the shop’s usual closing time.
One afternoon, he returned something unexpected: your well-worn copy of The Silmarillion. Admittedly, you’d missed it— its once-pristine pages now brimming with additional notations—his handwriting mixing with yours.
“I had to,” he said, an almost sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “Your notes made me see it differently. It felt like a conversation.”
You opened it, thumbing through the pages, your eyes catching his commentary. He had sharp, incisive thoughts: challenging some of your interpretations, expanding on others, and sometimes adding playful jabs in the margins when he disagreed with your analysis.
“This is dangerous,” you said, glancing up at him with a teasing smile. “Do you really want a debate about Tolkienian theology?”
“I’ve got time, doll,” he said with a grin, settling onto the stool by the counter. Your cheeks flushed at the nickname, hearts doing backflips in your ribcage.
And so, that evening, you indulged in the mind of James Buchanan Barnes, exploring his thoughts and musings about Middle-earth. For the next two hours, the two of you argued about the nature of Ilúvatar’s creation, the Fëanor tragic story, and whether or not Morgoth represented a failure of divine providence.
“I’ll admit,” he said at one point, leaning back and crossing his arms, “I wasn’t expecting it to feel so... biblical.”
“It’s a way to think about creation through the lens of fantasy,” you replied, your voice softening as you traced your fingers over the book’s cover. “There’s a reason people get lost in it.”
He watched you for a moment, his gaze lingering, his smile fading into something softer.
It wasn’t the only time your conversations would take a turn like this. A week later, gothic monsters were your battlefield.
Bucky leaned against the counter, an old edition of Dracula he had just purchased in his hands, the worn leather squeaking as he shifted. His brow furrowed in that way that always made you wonder what he was thinking— though you had a feeling he was about to pick a fight, again.
“You’re out of your mind if you think Frankenstein beats Dracula,” he said, glancing up, his blue eyes gleaming with mischief.
“I’m not saying they’re even comparable,” you countered, crossing your arms as you leaned against the opposite side of the counter. “They’re completely different genres. It’s not a fair fight. But if it were... Frankenstein wins. Hands down.”
Bucky chuckled, a low, warm sound that made it impossible not to smile. “You think that because you’re obsessed with sci-fi. If it’s got a fake scientist and a lot of regret, you’re sold.”
“And you think Dracula is better because it’s all dark and broody,” you shot back, arching an eyebrow, “sound familiar?” You smirked, mirroring his stance against the opposite side of the counter. “Besides, Frankenstein is a masterpiece—philosophy, morality, hubris—it’s got layers. What’s Dracula got? Melodrama?”
“Hey! Dracula has layers!” Bucky chuckled low in his throat, setting the book down. “It’s about primal fear, wrapped in ancient powers, wrapped again in the clash between tradition and modernity.”
“It is enjoyable, I must admit, but it’s just a glorified soap opera.” You groaned, though your lips twitched in spite of yourself. “Shelley’s work makes you think, you know? It’s art.”
“Art?!” he repeated, stepping closer, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse skip. “It’s a guy making bad decisions and spending the rest of the book dodging the consequences.”
You straightened, eyes narrowing. “It’s about responsibility! The monster is a reflection of Victor’s failure. He’s abandoned and searching for connection—”
“And whining about it,” Bucky interrupted with a smirk, folding his arms. “Dracula doesn’t whine.”
The playful sparring faded when it hit you.
Frankenstein’s monster was created without consent, shaped into something he never chose to be. He was cast out, left to navigate a world that saw him as a mistake. The monster was isolated— burdened by guilt—the question of whether he was defined by the harm he’d done.
“Does he…” you started, gulping, unsure of how he’d react to an outright observation. “Does Frankenstein’s monster make you uncomfortable?”
As you stepped closer, his expression faltered, his eyes dropping to the book in his hands. Slowly, he set it aside, the movement deliberate. You reached out, your fingers brushing against the cold surface of his metal arm before resting there gently. “Does it hit too close to home?” you asked.
He didn’t deny it. A quiet laugh escaped him instead. He shook his head. “You’re too damn perceptive for your own good,” he murmured, his voice tinged with a longing for something you couldn’t quite place.
Your fingers moved in slow circles against his metal hand, and when it twitched beneath your touch, you knew he felt it—knew he felt you.
“The monster was never the villain,” you said, a fragile offering meant to soothe him. “He just needed someone to see him. He can be kind, too.”
His gaze lifted, locking onto yours, and the raw vulnerability in his eyes stole the air from your lungs. For a heartbeat, the world stilled.
Then Bucky’s smirk returned, smaller this time, as he leaned into your touch as if he craved it. “Nice try,” he said, voice lighter but still soft. “You’re not winning this one. Dracula’s better.”
You laughed, the tension breaking just enough to let you breathe again. “You’re impossible, Barnes.”
—
You were afraid you had scared him off after that, but to your surprise, he returned a week later, albeit a bit bruised from a mission.
You’d been reshelving old graphic novels that day (First Edition Hergé that you were quite excited by), the quiet hum of the shop wrapping you in comfortable silence, when you caught sight of him out of the corner of your eye. His dark leather jacket hung slightly open, revealing a plain gray shirt that stretched just enough across his chest to draw your eyes. There was a faint cut near his jaw, still healing.
“Hey,” he said, his voice soft as he approached. His eyes lingered on you for a beat longer than necessary. “You look beautiful today. Is that a new dress?”
Your breath caught, and a warmth crept up your neck as you glanced down at the simple, flowy dress you’d chosen that morning. “It is,” you admitted, looking back up at him with a shy smile. “Thanks for noticing.”
“Hard not to,” he murmured, his lips curving into a small, almost teasing smile before he turned toward the shelves.
You busied yourself with reshelving more books behind the counter, but you couldn’t help watching him out of the corner of your eye. His human hand traced idly along the spines, careful not to inflict damage. When he stopped, he plucked a rare-ish pocket 6th edition of Thus Spake Zarathustra from the shelf, his metal fingers glinting faintly in the light of the shop.
“You actually like this guy?” he asked quietly, lifting the book like he was sharing a secret.
“Like is a strong word,” you said, stepping out from behind the ladder. His gaze caught yours, and there was a flicker of something playful in those blue eyes. Your pulse quickened, beckoning him to the counter. “He was no saint, but hardly anyone is. I… appreciate his contribution. It’s not his fault people misuse his work.”
Bucky had witnessed it firsthand: fascists distorting Nietzsche's philosophy, disregarding its complexities, and twisting his ideas into a justification for genocide.
His lips turned upward, a lopsided grin that softened the sharpness of his jaw. His stance shifted, leaning against the counter with a practiced ease. His eyes flickered, taking you in, and when you crossed your arms, his gaze lingered briefly, enough to spark a bubbling heat beneath your skin.
“You don’t think Nietzsche was a proto-fascist, do you?” you asked, tilting your head.
“God, no,” he said quickly, amusement softening his voice. His grin spread, revealing the faintest cute dimple in his cheek. “I’ve read enough to know better. But I don’t exactly buy the Übermensch thing either. It’s too... self-centered for my taste. The whole idea of being ‘beyond good and evil’ feels dangerous.”
“That’s fair,” you said, closing the distance between you as you reached for the book in his hand. Your fingers brushed his as you slipped it from his grasp, his touch warm, steady, almost deliberate. His eyes flickered down to where your hands had met. “There are many flaws in his thinking, but I don’t think the concept is inherently bad,” you continued, the air between you charged with tension. You tilted the book toward him, as though showing him something, though you both knew you weren’t really focused on the pages. “It’s about striving for a better version of yourself. I think he wanted people to create their own meaning, not follow blindly.”
“Maybe,” Bucky murmured, his voice dropping an octave. He shifted closer, his fingers tapping lightly against the counter, the sound echoing in the quiet room. His metal hand rested at his side, the vibranium gleaming faintly as his other hand inched forward, almost brushing yours.
His breath fanned your cheek as he leaned in, close enough now that you could see the stubble along his jaw, the way his lashes framed those blue eyes. “But there’s something so… wrong about thinking you’re the one who gets to decide what’s right,” he whispered, his voice like a secret meant only for you.
He was close, dangerously so— that you could feel his breath on your nose.
The bell above the door chimed suddenly, breaking the moment like shattered glass. Dr. Hart, a lecturer from the local university, stepped inside, a bundle of papers tucked under her arm, and smiled in greeting.
She was a returning customer, here to pick up a special edition of Conversation on Botany that you had tracked down for her.
“That’s $40, Mr. Barnes,” You took a small, steadying breath and waved at Hart with a thumbs up that said I’ve got your book.
His lips twitched into a knowing smile. Hr reached for his wallet, pulling out a few bills. As he handed them to you, his fingers brushed yours again.
“I’ll see you soon,” he promised, his voice soft, almost teasing.
—
The tipping point came late one evening.
You’d spent the last few hours catalouging a shipment of rare books, the shop’s air thick with the comforting scent of old leather, yellowing paper, and the faint hint of dust that always seemed to cling to ancient texts. The shop was silent save for the scratch of your pen against paper as you logged the latest arrival.
The peace shattered with the familiar jingle of the bell above the door.
“Shop’s closed,” you said without looking up, your voice automatic, your focus still on the fragile spine of a sixteenth-century text.
“Good thing I’m not here to shop,” came the deep, unmistakable voice of Bucky Barnes.
Your hand froze, an involuntary smile tugging at your lips. You looked up, finding him leaning against the doorframe with that trademark blend of casual confidence and smoldering intensity. His black Henley stretched across his chest, the sleeves pushed up to reveal his forearms—a sight you tried not to dwell on for too long.
“What are you here for, then?” you asked, arching an eyebrow as you tried to sound indifferent.
“Conversation,” he said simply, stepping further inside.
You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you returned to your work. “You came all the way here just to talk?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he teased, his lips turning into a sly smile as he perched on the edge of your desk. “I was in the neighborhood.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t bother responding. Bucky always had a way of pulling your attention, and tonight was no different. You tried to focus on the delicate bindings in front of you, but his overwhelming presence was impossible to ignore.
When he reached for a book from the nearby stack—a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius—you finally gave in.
“Stoicism?” you asked, your tone light with playful mockery.
He flipped the book open, his fingers grazing the thin pages. “You’re really surprised? I thought you’d figure that about me,” he said, glancing up at you with a hint of a challenge in his eyes. “Marcus Aurelius had a lot to say about self-control.”
“And yet here you are…” you replied, gesturing to where he was leaning across your workspace, a soft furrow of amusement on your eyebrows. You decided you could be flirty— eyeing the undone button of his Henley, showing a hint of his skin underneath. “...testing mine.”
The corners of his mouth curved. “Guess I’m doing my part to help you practice.”
You shook your head, half-smiling. “It’s not just about self-control, now is it? It’s about accepting what you can’t change.”
He tilted his head, agreeing with you. “Or a way to stop drowning in things you can’t fix.”
From there, the conversation unfurled like a thread you couldn’t stop pulling. Philosophy, morality, the nature of good and evil—it didn’t take long before you were fully engrossed, debating with a ferocity that surprised even you. Bucky was sharp, quick-witted, and maddeningly good at challenging your points. Every time you thought you had the upper hand, he’d counter with something so precise, so well-argued, that you couldn’t help but admire his mind.
As the debate shifted, you sat on your desk, its surface cluttered with books that were hard to find, but not rare enough to be put in a glass case. Your focus was solely on Bucky, who was pacing the room with measured steps, his hands brushing against the edges of shelves every so often as though grounding himself.
“Alright,” you said, leaning forward, crossing your legs. “Here’s a question for you: Should Batman kill the Joker?”
Slowly, he turned and walked closer to you, his shoes thudding softly against the floor. He stopped just short of your legs, leaning forward slightly, his gaze locking onto yours, making your pulse quicken.
Oh, that piqued his interest.
“I should’ve known you’d bring up Batman.” Bucky’s lips curved into a smirk, eyeing up the first print of 90s DC comics in the corner of the room that hadn’t been there two days ago— a fresh delivery, perhaps? You were always very topical, and the recent restocks somehow always made their way into conversation.
“It’s a valid moral dilemma,” you said, straightening, your chin lifting slightly.
He tilted his head, his expression a blend of amusement and challenge. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“Of course he should,” You didn’t hesitate, the answer rolling off your tongue with absolute conviction. “The Joker is a mass murderer. Every time Batman spares him, more people die. His refusal to act is just as bad as pulling the trigger himself.”
Bucky’s smile lingered, but his gaze grew darker, ever so slightly. “So you’re saying Batman’s refusal to kill makes him complicit?”
“Yes,” you said firmly, leaning in slightly, the heat of the argument pulling you closer. “Batman’s morality is Kantian—rigid rules and all. But if he were more… utilitarian, he’d save more lives. The greatest good for the greatest number. One life to save countless others.”
“That kind of math doesn’t scare you?” Bucky asked, leaning back as though to put some distance between you, though his eyes stayed locked on yours. “Once you start deciding whose lives matter more, where do you stop?”
“It’s not about worth,” you argued, the intensity rippling from him unnerving but impossible to look away from. “It’s about outcomes. If you can prevent suffering, don’t you have a responsibility to do it?”
The silence that followed felt heavier than it should’ve. His jaw clicked a bit, tightening as he considered your words. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, shyer.
“If that’s your stance, then maybe someone should’ve killed the Winter Soldier years ago.”
His words hit you like a punch in the gut, your breath catching. The implication of his statement filled the room, coiling tight around your chest.
“Bucky,” you said quickly, panic creeping into your voice, your fingers twitching toward him but freezing halfway. “That’s not—”
The corner of his mouth curved into a small, fragile smile. “Relax,” he said, holding up a hand, his voice dipping into something gentler. “I’m not offended. This is just a debate, right?”
“It’s not the same,” you insisted, your voice gentler, almost pleading. You stood from your desk, hesitation in your chest as you reached out— you were scared he might pull away, “you were brainwashed.” Slowly, you pressed your hand to his cheek, his stubble rough beneath your palm. It was a wordless apology—a pathetic attempt to comfort, to reach him where words had failed.
To your surprise, he didn’t stop you. Instead, he leaned into your touch.
Bucky, slid his arm around your waist, testing the waters. His eyes flicked to yours, searching for any sign of rejection, any hint that he’d crossed a line. But there were none. Instead, the subtle hitch in your breath and the way you leaned into him told him everything he needed to know.
He shook his head, rubbing soft circles on your hip as if to say you’re okay. This conversation is more than okay. “But in the grand scheme of utilitarianism, it shouldn’t matter, right? My life was a liability. More people would’ve been saved if I hadn’t been around to hurt them.”
His words settled over you like a storm cloud. The silence stretched, your carefully crafted argument unraveling in the face of his lived experience.
He leaned forward then, bridging the space between you, his arm pinning you in place. “Maybe I understand Batman better than most,” he said, his voice quiet but intense. “Killing someone doesn’t always fix what’s broken. It just leaves you with blood on your hands.”
Your throat tightened, the words sticking. He was too close now, the tension between you buzzing like a static current.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but he heard it.
“Don’t be.” His words were soft as he pulled you closer. There was always a hint of warmth in his eyes, an unspoken kindness you admired.
The room felt smaller now, more heated. You opened your mouth to respond, but his words had stolen all the air from your lungs.
He leaned in, his voice dropping. “It’s easy to talk about morality in the abstract. But when you’re staring someone in the face—when it’s a real person, and not just an idea—it gets a lot harder to play God.”
Shit.
He was right.
Maybe utilitarianism wasn’t a steadfast rule. Maybe it couldn’t be, not when you factored in the messy, unpredictable depths of human existence. Lives weren’t just numbers to balance on a scale—they were stories, choices, pain, hope. And Bucky… Bucky was proof of that.
Your thoughts churned as you looked at him.
You felt your conviction unravel. It wasn’t just that his argument was sound—though it was (infuriatingly so)—it was the way he’d delivered it, the personal truth lending it undeniable power. And that’s when it hit you. That’s why you found him so damn attractive.
Sure, he was gorgeous. The sharp lines of his jawline, the piercing blue of his eyes, the way his Henley stretched over his shoulders like it had been designed with him in mind. But that wasn’t it. Not entirely.
It was him. His humanity. His thoughtfulness. The kindness that softened the edges, the depth that came from wrestling with his own darkness and coming out better on the other side.
And he was brilliant. For the first time, you felt like you’d met your match. Someone who met you on your turf and stood his ground, someone who didn’t just nod along or agree to avoid conflict. Someone who could challenge you, who could look you in the eye and make you see the world differently.
You thought you’d built your worldview on unshakable foundations, but he’d cracked it wide open, and now all you could do was stare at him with the dawning realisation that this wasn’t just attraction. It was something deeper, something that terrified and thrilled you in equal measure.
He wasn’t just a match for you physically; he was your intellectual equal—a rare kind of connection that made your pulse race and left your thoughts spinning.
Before you could stop yourself, before you could think it through, you leaned forward and kissed him.
It was impulsive—a collision of lips born from the fiery tension that had simmered between you for weeks. It was everything unsaid, every glance, every near touch that had lingered just a fraction too long, all boiling over in one moment. He froze for the briefest heartbeat, but then something in him snapped. His hands found you, pulling you closer, his grip possessive, almost desperate. Your hands made their way through the soft strands of his hair, landing comfortably around his neck.
The kiss, slow at first, quickly became frantic. Neither of you could get enough. The only thing that mattered was him—his lips on yours, his touch, the way his body pressed against you like a promise.
When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours, his lips curled into a breathless smile. For a second, he could forget about everything that has happened to him. For a second, he was truly, utterly safe in your arms.
“I didn’t think you were the type to kiss someone in the middle of a moral argument about Batman,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, his lips grazing yours with every word, sending shivers down your spine.
“And I didn’t think you’d let me,” you replied, your voice laced with a mischievous edge.
His eyes darkened, his smile widening just enough to make your heart race before he closed the distance again, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. This time, it wasn’t careful or calculated—it was raw, fervent, consuming. Your back hit the desk behind you, his hands sliding around your waist and around the curve of your bum, firm and deliberate, setting every nerve in your body on fire.
“The books,” he mumbled against your lips, glancing at the teetering stack beside you, the volumes threatening to topple.
“I don’t care,” you said breathlessly, and to prove your point, you swiped the entire stack to the floor with a crash. The sound echoed, but you barely heard it over the roaring thump of your heartbeat in your ears.
They weren’t too rare. You’ll just put them on the discount aisle tomorrow.
His response was a low, guttural groan, his lips finding yours again, His fingers tangled in your hair, tugging just enough to make your head tilt back, exposing the sensitive curve of your neck. He didn’t waste the opportunity, his lips and teeth trailing along your skin, finding the spot just below your ear that made you gasp.
“Did I manage to change your mind this time?” he murmured against your ear, his voice rough and unsteady as his lips brushed against your jaw, then lower, tracing a heated path along your collarbone.
You managed a breathless laugh, your fingers slipping under his shirt to trace the veins under his skin, his muscles tensing under your touch. “Okay, so maybe ‘the greatest good for the greatest number’ isn’t always the best approach when you’re the one holding the short end of the categorical imperative,” you whispered, your voice trembling with desire.
His laugh was husky, his hands lower to grip your thighs, pushing himself flush against you. “God, you’re something else,” he said, his lips finding yours again, this time slower, deeper, as though savoring you. When he finally pulled back, his voice was hoarse. “Do you want to go on a date?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “You’re seriously asking me that now?” you asked, breathless. With your hands trailing over the planes of his chest, his breath mingling with yours, it seemed a bit out of order, but you weren’t about to complain.
“Yes,” he said, his words dead serious despite the way his hands clutched at your shirt, his lips finding the hollow of your throat. He kissed the spot slowly, firmly, making your legs feel numb. “I mean it,” he added, his voice softer, yet no less insistent.
You let out a breathless laugh, tugging him into another kiss, the kind that left no room for doubt about your answer. “Then yes,” you murmured, your voice low and teasing as you pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “We’re going to have a lot to talk about.”
And boy, were you excited to talk to this man— a man who could turn the simplest circumstances into a philosophical debate, someone who wasn’t afraid to dispute your ideals.
Someone who was your match.
“Later,” he rasped, his voice gravelly with need, his hands trailing up to tug his henley over his head in one fluid motion. The sight of him stole the breath from your lungs, but you didn’t have time to appreciate it before he was kissing you again, his bare skin pressed against you as he lifted your shirt off. “We can talk later.”
-end.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x reader angst#the winter soldier#winter soldier#catws#fatws#marvel thunderbolts#thunderbolts#bucky barnes comfort#bucky barnes hurt/comfort#bucky barnes x y/n#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan imagine#marvel fanfic
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Making Dragon Age Tarot: Resources
I have collected quite a few posts from other people with various takes on the DA tarot style. These are all preserved in links on my blog, but I will specify who gets credit here.
Dragon Age Game Tarot Cards
Imgur
micromys scanned their entire deck (they are backed up under my dragon age tarot tag in january 2023)
Start to Finish Tutorials
paperwick's DA Tarot Style Guide: Part 1 | Part 2
Composition & Analysis
Heathwind analysis
theboyofcheese analysis
eristhenat color choices
Brushes, Patterns, Resources
eleonorpiteira with some brush sets.
eleonorpiteira gold foil texture tutorial
paperwick gold texture tutorial
saif's Tarot Frame templates
bunabi's many brushes and patterns
About Tarot
my favorite: ATA-Tarot
my other favorite: labyrinthos
#dragon age#dragon age fanart#dragon age tarot#i will add to this this is just off the top of my head#art refs#oc tarot
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— ✧ cry for me
i want you to cry, cry for me (twice)
pairing: lee chan x reader
description: in which you're holding back tears in a cute little restaurant because you spilled wine all over your lap, and chan is holding back a raging boner.
a part of the crybaby series (can be read as a standalone)
genre: smut (18+ / mdni), fluff, ft mingyu for a second
tags: tattooist + tattooed chan, crybaby reader, established relationship (they're so cute it's disgusting), dacryphilia, oral (m receiving), wall sex, petnames (baby, crybaby, princess), chan has a chest tattoo and i think that deserves it's own warning
w/c: 5.1k
a/n: i am a woman of my word: i finished it tonight! thank u to @rubyreduj iand @gyuswhore for looking this over for me when i thought i was going crazy. anyways, i hope u guys missed me actually writing. writer toruro is BACK!
Pretty and short satin skirts are saved for nights like these. Under the dim glow of the moonlight and stars, the soft fabric falls loosely over your soft thighs and the beautiful curves of your hip. The cool night breeze pinches at your skin as you shuffle toward your boyfriend, hugging his arm that’s already linked with yours even closer to your chest.
Chan hums when you press your cheek against the cool leather of his jacket, “What is it baby?”
“‘m cold,” you mutter, pressing your legs together in an attempt to preserve what little warmth you have left. In hindsight, wearing this skirt probably wasn’t a good idea knowing that it’d be on the chiller side tonight but still, you couldn’t help but want to doll yourself up.
“Here,” Chan says, and you nearly whine when he pulls his arm away, but the complaints die on your tongue when he takes off his jacket and slips it over your shoulders, leaving him in his short-sleeve shirt.
“But—” you protest, running your fingers over his bare arm and frowning, but Chan cuts you off before you can speak further.
“Wear it baby, it looks nice on you,” he says casually, holding his arm out so you can wrap yourself around it again and hold him close. You feel warm, partly because of the protection that Chan’s jacket provides but mostly because of the way your body flushes with heat at his affectionate words.
The two of you are standing outside of this restaurant that you’ve been aching to try for ages, waiting for your names to be called in. As you settle back into his hold, Chan pulls out his phone holding it at an angle so the both of you can read the messages on the screen when he scrolls through your friends’ group chat.
“You wanna go to Jeonghan’s place tomorrow?” you ask, noticing Jeonghan complaining about being bored since Jihoon never leaves his room. Chan nudges your head with his own affectionately before shrugging.
“I’ll go if you go.”
You frown. “Well do you want to?”
“Baby if you want to, then I want to,” Chan says with a chuckle. “And anyways—”
“Chan! Table for two!” the voice of the hostess from the entrance of the restaurant calls out, and the two of you perk up. Chan raises a hand and nods, gently tugging his arm out of your grasp and instead slotting your hand in his, pulling you to follow after him inside.
The hostess greets you kindly, and you’re thankful that indoors is much less cold and much more inviting as she takes you to your table where you and Chan sit across from each other.
“What were you saying?” you ask as you settle into the seats, slipping off Chan’s jacket and handing it to him.
He only holds his hand out, palm facing you, and shakes head with a smile. “Keep it. Anyways, I was saying that I’ve been meaning to talk to Jeonghan for a while since he said he wanted to get a tattoo done.”
Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head at that as you carefully drape his jacket over the back of your chair, scooting forward. “No way! Jeonghan always told me he’d never get a tattoo ‘cause he’s scared of needles.”
Chan laughs and his eyes light up. “Didn’t you say you were scared of needles? Look at where you are now …” he murmurs, eyes glossing over the little crescent moon on your arm, and then the small star that he had the privilege of pressing into your wrist just a few weeks earlier.
You shift in your seat and shyly nod. “Yeah but … that’s different. I think I might’ve chickened out of the last part if—” Your breath hitches in your throat and you stop yourself from finishing what you were about to say. If he hadn’t fucked you in that tattoo parlor right there and then, is what you both are thinking.
Chan grins at the way you grow flustered at his words before changing the topic. “I like this top, is it new?” he asks, eyes glossing over the blue, knit shirt that you put on for him just an hour earlier.
“Yeah! I got it to match the skirt—I’ve had this one for a while though, but it didn’t look nice with any of my tops I had until now, so I was really excited to finally get to wear it,” you tell him with a grin, hands smoothing over the satin and brushing over the plush of your thighs. Your stomach fills with a wave of giddiness when Chan smiles at you and nods.
“I’m glad. You look really pretty,” he says, reaching over and grabbing your hand. His gaze doesn’t falter, eyes on you as you continue to tell him about how you thought the shirt was sold out when you found it online you cried (Chan remembers; you called him with choked sniffles at midnight and almost hung up right away out embarrassment but he assured you that it was okay), rubbing a thumb over your skin as you speak.
You two fall into conversation naturally after that, waiting for your food to come as your fingers intertwine and sit in the middle of the table comfortably. The waiter starts off with your drinks—a wine for you each—before bringing out the appetizers.
Things go smoothly as they always do: the food is amazing and the setting is perfect, Chan’s hand grazes over yours ever so often and his eyes are on you in a loving gaze—everything’s going great, actually.
So maybe that’s why you let it get a little to your head when you hear the clanking of glass against glass.
It happens so quickly—the sound reverberates through the room and you blink once and then twice, looking down to find the growing wet spot on your cute little skirt. The feeling of wine against your skin hits you next, and when you look to your right and see the apologetic look of the waiter as he scrambles for the glass on the ground, it sinks in.
Fuck, and there it is again—that ugly feeling that clogs your throat and the furious blinking of your eyes as you try your best (you really, really do try your best). Chan knows it all too well, the way you press your lips together and try not to quiver as you reach down and try to help the waiter.
“What the hell man?” Chan exclaims, standing up from his seat in an instant to walk over to you, his eyes set as a hard glare on the waiter as he observes the growing stain on your precious little skirt.
The waiter stutters for a moment, reaching forward to dab a napkin over your lap, but your boyfriend stops him midway, swatting his hand away. “Watch it—” Chan peers closer at his name tag as he snatches the napkin from the waiter’s hand, “—Mingyu. You’ve done enough.”
“I-I’m sorry,” the waiter, Mingyu stutters out, holding the dropped wine glass behind his back as he shuffles away.
Chan glares at him hard as he presses a hand against your back, and if your vision wasn’t already so blurry you might have been intimidated by how intense the gaze was. Instinctively, you turn your face towards his figure as you feel other customers’ eyes over the little scene unfolding at your table. “C-can we go?” you ask him quietly.
It doesn’t take him more than a second for Chan to turn to Mingyu and mutter, “Just get us the check. We’re leaving.”
Mingyu nods bashfully and scurries away, but you don’t really notice because you’re chewing down on your lip as your boyfriend pats your back and leans down to watch you apologetically. Fuck, you feel so pathetic for crying over this but you can’t help it! You really can’t!
You’ve been looking forward to this night for so long and have been planning this outfit for even longer, and now that both your night and your pretty little skirt are ruined, you swear you can’t stop the tears from falling.
Chan hates it when you cry. Well, that’s a lie. It’s a fickle thing, really—the anger that bubbles up inside of him whenever he sees your eyes red and brimming with tears isn’t directed at you—fuck no—but rather whatever (in this case, whoever) caused it in the first place.
So yeah, you could say Chan hates it when you cry, but then again, he finds it cute when you call him, sniffling over your favorite croissant being sold out at that cafe down the street you always go to. He hates when you waste tears over things like this, but he also knows you can’t help it, and there’s something oddly endearing about the way you always lean in to his touch for comfort. After all, you’re his sweet girl, and he loves all of you; the parts of you that cry over seeing a kitten struggle to cross the street and the parts of you that sob when he’s shoving his cock into your warm cunt.
All of it, he loves all of it.
So maybe that’s why Chan can’t help but get a little bit lost in your puffy, glossy eyes when you look up at him and silently beg for some comfort. He knows it’s an innocent gesture, and when he runs a hand down the side of your cheek and you nuzzle into his palm, he almost feels guilty for the way his cock begins to strain against his pants.
You’re just so cute, and Chan swears he can’t control himself. He can’t ever control himself when it comes to you.
Using the napkin he snagged from Mingyu just moments earlier, Chan leans down and swipes over the wetness on your thighs, soaking up as much of the red liquid that he can. It’s kind of hard to think, honestly. He watches your tears mix with the wine on your lap, and while his fingers brush over the plush of your thighs, he starts to lose himself entirely.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Chan tries to tell himself because really, he should be focusing on taking care of his sweet, sweet girl and wiping away her tears but here he is trying to not think about the massive hard-on he’s got going on beneath his pants.
Mingyu stops by with the check, frantic with more wipes as he cleans up the ground as Chan pays the bill. You quietly slip on the same leather jacket Chan gave to you just half an hour earlier as he helps you get up from the seat, cringing at the way your wet and stained skirt feels against your legs.
With his hand closed around your wrist, your boyfriend leads you to the exit but you keep your head down bashfully. You feel the gazes of other customers on your back as you two make your way out of the restaurant, and the cold night air is a stark contrast to the way your body burns with embarrassment.
Once finally outside and standing by the parking lot, Chan takes a moment to look at you. You’re still biting down on your lip like it’s the only thing you know how to do, eyes trained to the ground as you tighten your fingers around him instinctively. He senses something is bothering you—something other than the fact that your meticulously planned outfit was ruined on such a whim.
Nightly zephyrs pulse against his skin and Chan glances down at your slightly shaking legs, realizing that they are now wet and exposed and probably feel colder than ever. “C’mon baby,” he urges, tugging you towards his car, “Let’s sit inside.” Silently, you comply and follow behind him, slipping into the passenger seat and sighing contently as you escape the chilliness of the night.
He watches you as you click your seatbelt on, sinking into the seat when that familiar clenching of your jaw and furious blinking of your eyes takes over your features. “Oh baby,” Chan coos, shuffling closer to you so he can plant a hand on the back of your neck. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks as you bury your hands in your face in a fruitless attempt to muffle your sniffles.
“I—” You stop because your voice comes out all ugly and distorted. “—I was s-so excited for tonight,” you admit honestly, calming down a little as Chan’s hand runs up and down your spine soothingly. “And then I just—I ruined it.”
“Baby, what are you talking about?” your boyfriend asks, tapping your cheek so you finally look up at him. Your cheeks are a little puffy and your bottom lip juts out in a pretty pout, and Chan brushes a thumb over the wet skin. “You didn’t ruin anything—it’s all that prick Mingyu’s fault. We can go to my place and still have fun,” he suggests, and although he means it to be a thoughtful gesture—something like takeout and ice cream—he can’t help but fantasize about some other definitions of fun.
“But—”
“No buts baby. Except, maybe yours,” Chan tells you with a playful wink, his heart swelling when you manage out a giggle between your harsh breaths. He starts to pull himself away from you when he senses a lightening of your mood, and so slowly, he starts the engine.
You settle into a comfortable silence as he starts the drive back to his place, and even though he’s mainly focused on keeping a smile on your face, Chan really can’t ignore the relentless ache in his pants.
After all, how could he when you insisted on keeping his hand on your thigh? “Wanna feel you,” is what you said when you guided his fingers to settle over the soft flesh, and Chan has half a mind to think it’s in an innocent gesture—his sweet girl just wants to keep him close—but he also knows you.
Chan knows that beneath all the soft whimpers and hot tears is a girl far more observant than you let on, and he’d be stupid to think you didn’t notice the tent in his pants earlier.
Maybe he’ll make you pay for that, he thinks as he parks in front of his apartment building, but when you shyly slip out of his car and keep your head hanging low as your eyes glaze over the big red stain on your skirt, Chan thinks otherwise.
Again, he can’t ever control himself when it comes to you.
Any thoughts Chan might have had about teasing you until the world’s demise wash away when he closes the door behind him as you both walk into his apartment. He knows you get a bit needy when you’re upset but still, he wasn’t really expecting you to turn around and sink into his arms the second the lock clicks shut.
Your cheek is pressed into his chest as your arms circle his firm torso, and from above, Chan can see that your eyes are pressed shut. The base of your stomach is pressing into his crotch and fuck, he can’t tell if you intentionally shift against him because your face looks so sad but then again, there’s no way you’re doing this without thinking.
Still, Chan shoves away the filthy thoughts that he really doesn’t think he should be having and wraps his arms around your shoulders, placing a hand on the back of your head. You’re not sure how long you guys stay like that, and despite the ache that burns between both of your legs, it’s a comforting few moments—his fingers in your hair as you pull him closer to you.
You need a distraction, you’ve realized. Something to really cry about.
Being with Chan over the past few months has taught you that, in the best way possible, your tears really mean nothing unless they’re falling because of him. Maybe it’s the thought that prompts you to finally pull away and pout up at him.
“Channie,” you whimper and fuck, Chan knows those eyes. You know he does.
“What is it baby?” he asks, gazing down at you so intensely that you know he isn’t even bothering to hide his lust anymore. He holds your cheek with a hand, thumb stroking over your soft skin for a moment before crashing his lips onto yours.
Chan kisses your breath away. Teeth nipping and sucking against yours as your tongues melt in a hot mess when he presses you into the wall. Looming into you from above, his grip on your face remains tight as he guides you deeper into his mouth, crotch pressing into your lower stomach.
It’s dizzying, almost. Kissing Chan always is.
It isn’t long before you’re pawing at his chest as you struggle to keep up with his intensity. Your palms ache for his skin, and having your fingers run up and down his firm arms just isn’t enough. When Chan pulls his lips away, your eyebrows furrow and your bottom lip juts out into a pout.
“Off,” you mumble, weakly tugging at the hem of his shirt, and usually Chan would play with you a little longer, make you beg a little harder, make you really work for it, but he feels that you’ve already suffered enough.
Swiftly, he pulls the tight shirt over his head, revealing the firmness that lay beneath the fabrics, and fuck, you think you might just pass out on the spot—you’ll never get sick of seeing him like this.
“Like what you see baby?” Chan chuckles, but he already knows the answer from the way your eyes zone in on the symmetrical pattern that adorns his upper chest.
“Always …” you mutter, wrapping your arms around his torso and pressing your body close against his as you start to place kisses all over his skin. Shy and sweet is what your lips feel like, skitting over his chest as Chan watches you in admiration; your tongue traces over the dark curves, eyes fluttering shut as if you’ve already got it memorized by heart (you probably do).
His hands start to thread in your hair, pressing against your scalp until he’s fisting the strands and tugging your head back. Chan’s mouth meets yours in a hot mess—your own saliva’s already smeared all over your chin and cheeks, and the mix of tongue against tongue and teeth against teeth is only adding to the sloppy kiss as he backs you into the wall.
“Baby,” he whispers into your mouth before beginning to trail rough kisses down your jawline and over your collarbone. He sucks blotchy, red marks into your soft skin, fingers kneading at the flesh of your waist when you start to press your lower half into his. “Baby, you drive me fucking crazy.”
You wanna scream and say ‘ditto’ but the only sound that escapes your lips is a choked moan when he shoves a thigh between your legs and presses against your core. The ache is like a fire, burning through your veins and blooming all up inside of you, making your tummy tumble and your eyes roll to the back of your head as you clamp your bottom lip between your teeth.
Grinding against him, your skirt rides up your thighs revealing the pretty white, lace panties hidden beneath, and Chan’s breath hitches in his throat. Something buzzes in his head and it’s like a rush in his ears—his hands shoot out and are all over your tits.
Gripping the soft flesh over your pretty little shirt and matching lace bra underneath, and soon you’re scrambling to get all this fabric off of you. “So pretty baby, so pretty,” Chan breaths out when he steps away from you a little, dropping his knee as you toss your shirt and bra to the side. He grabs your chin and uses his fingers to squish your cheeks together as you look up at him dreamily. “You’ll suck Channie off, right baby?” he coos, and you feel your legs grow weak at the sickly sweet touch to his tone.
“Yeah-huh,” you pant, inching closer to him as you start to drop to your knees, hands immediately making their way to the waistband of his dark jeans. Chan doesn’t help you with the belt—he enjoys watching you fumble with the leather, pouting when it doesn’t come out as easy as you’d like.
Once you finally work your way around it, you’re unbuttoning his jeans and yanking them down to reveal the bulge that strains against his boxers. Without a second thought, you lick his cock over the fabric, eyes lazily looking up at Chan who watches you expectantly.
“You know what to do baby,” he tells you, and so you comply, hooking your fingers under the elastic band and tugging his boxers down. When his cock springs out, it lightly slaps against your cheek, precum smearing all over your already wet cheeks.
Chan thinks you look so beautiful like this, shiny cheeks marked by his heavy cock that starts to make its way between your lips with the guidance of your hands. Soft fingers play with the base of his length as you swipe over the tip your shy tongue and fuck—you look so hot when you stare up at him like that, like you don’t know all the depraved things Chan wants to do with you.
You start off with kitten licks—lapping at the precum that’s dribbled all over the pretty, prominent veins that adorn his cock, and pressing your tongue flat against his bulbous tip. Chan runs a hand over your hair, resting his palm against the crown of your head at the end and gently pushing you forward.
You whimper as you start to take more of his length into your mouth, the underside dragging against your tongue, and you move one hand up to wrap around the base of where your mouth can’t reach, using the other hand to cup his balls.
“Jus’ like that,” Chan mumbles, watching you struggle to take him deeper, shoving his fat tip to the back of your throat as far as you can, tears pricking in your eyes, before pulling back to take in a heaving breath. “Good job baby,” he urges you on, when you open your mouth again, taking him down your throat again.
Your jaw aches as you repeat the motion, tears dripping down your cheeks, over your chin, and onto your soft thighs. Every time his cock pushes to the back of your throat, a few more drops fall, and soon Chan starts to take the lead, directing the movement of your head with his grip on your head.
And it feels so fucking good, the way he’s a got a firm grip on you, the way his cock stretches your mouth open so nicely—so you can taste all of him—the way he’s muttering curses amidst the murmurs of praise; “Yeah baby, feel’s so fuckin’ good.”
It’s got even you rolling your eyes to the back of your head and all you can think is Chan, Chan, Chan, and he can think about is you, you, you—and suddenly, he’s pulling his length out of your mouth so quickly it has your vision going white.
“Gotta cum w’me, princess,” Chan instructs over the rush in your ears, grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you to your feet. You’re slightly light-headed, stumbling forward from all the movement, but Chan catches you gently with a soft chuckle. “Easy baby, easy,” he murmurs, smoothing one hand over your head and kissing your aching lips softly as he once again presses you into the wall.
You make out sloppily for a few moments, your arms wrapping around his neck, tongues melting into each other as Chan tastes himself on you. His hands are playing with the zipper of your skirt, and with a soft gasp into his mouth, he pushes them down to pool at your ankles. “Leg up baby,” he tells you, tapping your hip with one hand so you get the message.
Hastily, you lift your thigh, involuntarily groaning against Chan’s lips when his big, rough hand plants itself on the underside of your thigh, helping you wrap your leg around his torso. His cock’s prodding right against your leg now, and you swear you can feel how painfully hard he is, swear you can feel him straight up throbbing against you.
“‘m so wet Channie,” you sigh helplessly, slotting one hand between your parted legs and swiping your fingers over the slick that drenches your thin panties. With slippery hands, you mindlessly reach for Chan’s cock, gently nestling the thick length against your clothed core.
“Oh fuck,” Chan groans at the contact, jutting his hips further into yours to increase the friction. His pelvis is flush against yours, and the stimulation of his skin against your clothed clit along with his cock sliding right by your folds is dizzying. “Makin’ a mess already, huh?” he says, shoving the fabric of your panties to one side to reveal your dripping cunt.
Quickly, his fingers are all over you, sliding between your slickness and thumb rubbing circles into your clit until you’re whining and fuck—Chan hardly gets to stick one finger into your tight cunt before you’re almost on the verge of tears again—
“Channie, need your cock now,” you cry out, hands pawing at the tattoo over his chest. “Can’t wait—need it no—oh.” The last words die on your tongue when Chan shoves his fat tip inside you. “Oh Channie—feels s’full,” you moan, your head falling back and hitting against the wall as he continues to slide his full length against your walls.
“Yeah princess?” he mutters, leaning forward and kissing your shoulder blade after he fully bottoms out inside of you. Your cute little cunt is screaming from pleasure, erupting flames all over your skin as you struggle to adjust to his size. Chan can see it, the way you’re already trembling, standing leg quivering as you try your best to not crumble into him, try your best to not give in right away.
You always look so cute trying when you know you’re gonna fail anyways.
Without warning, Chan drags his cock out slowly, and when you look at him with those glossy eyes and flushed cheeks, he can’t help but slam right back into you with a force that throttles you against the wall.
“Fuck,” you whimper, running one hand up Chan’s arm, tracing the curves of his biceps before finally gripping onto his shoulder tightly.
“You feel it princess?” Chan asks you softly when he drags out of you again before pressing you into the wall with another harsh thrust.
“Yeah-huh,” you nod dumbly, using your free hand to run your palm over your lower stomach. “Feel you all the way here Channie,” you moan when he shifts inside of you so his cock is hitting you even deeper. “Fuck!” you cry out when his pace starts to speed up, the tears that lingered in your lash line already starting to drip down your face.
“My pretty baby’s crying already …” Chan coos with a mocking pout, grip on your waist tightening so much you feel you’ll have bruises the next morning. “That’s it princess … cry it out—I know you wanna,” he eggs you on once he leans in, fingers ghosting by your earlobe.
“Can’t help it,” you choke out, finally letting the soft sobs pleasure erupt from your throat, head falling against Chan’s shoulders. “Feel so good Channie—can’t help it—’m sorry, I—”
“Shh,” Chan hushes you with a particularly harsh trust, pressing so close to you that his pelvis is once again bumping against your clit. “Don’t apologize … you look so pretty … pretty crybaby. That’s what you are, aren’t you? My crybaby?”
“Ye-yes!” you mewl when your legs start to shake more rapidly.
“Yeah … yeah—fuck,” Chan huffs when you clench down on him, and your walls are so tight around his length that you’re starting to wonder just how much longer you can hold out for.
“Can’t have anyone seeing you like—fuck—like this,” he moans, gripping your thigh tighter and tighter as he starts ramming into you so fast it’s punching the air straight out of your lungs. You’re wailing into his skin now, teething at his neck as your whole face is covered in a hot and sticky mess, fingers running all up and down his chest.
“Only thing you should be crying over is me, okay baby? You got that?”
“Uh-huh,” you whimper, fingers sinking into his skin as you feel that familiar wave of pleasure well up in your stomach. “Only yo—oh fuck, Channie ‘m gonna cum s—fuck!” you gasp out, hiccuping over your own tears as the waves crash down.
Your legs go limp as Chan’s cock drills into your warm cunt, the combined arousal dripping down your thighs and onto the floor (you’ll have to clean the ground later). His fat cock is battering against your tight walls roughly, fluttering walls pressing down on every vein, every curve of the length.
“There you go princess, cum f’me,” he grunts as he secures one arm around your waist, digging your back deeper into the wall so you don’t fall over as he starts to ride out his own orgasm against your pulsing walls.
Watching your blown out eyes and swollen lips, tear kissed cheeks and disheveled hair, Chan feels his own eyes rolling to the back of his head when your overstimulated pussy clamps down on him, squeezing out every last drop of cum. Painting your walls white, the sensation of Chan’s cum filling you up has you whimpering and mewling into his neck as he starts to loosen his grip.
“Fuck princess … made such a mess,” he mutters, looking down at the sticky mixture that rests where his softening cock meets your cute cunt.
“Hmm,” you hum, letting your wobbly legs drop to the floor once his cock flops out of your slippery, cunt, nuzzling into his tattooed chest. Giggling softly, you wrap your arms around his torso and look up at him with a lazy grin, “I forgot why I was crying earlier.”
Chan smiles, holding your cheeks with both his hands to press a chaste kiss on your lips. “That’s my girl.”
crybaby series masterlist
a/n: thank u for reading, i hope u enjoyed >_< pls feel free 2 leave comments / rbs if u did! i know i took horrendously long 2 pop pt2 of crybaby :[ I'M SORRY guys not 2 ramble but i have been in a writing slump recently and this is the only thing of decent length and decent quality that i have produced in the span of two months so c: i am happy w how this turned out! i'll try my best to get the 3rd and final part of the series a little bit quicker, but no promises :3
taglist pt1: @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @rubyreduji @todorokiskitten @98-0603 @hipsdofangirl @minnie-mouser22 @minhui896 @whippedforjihoon @seokchannieworld @nishloves @woozarts @ellesmoon @blurryriki @maknae00 @hanniebanggi @peachyaeger @shoulietaro @1004luvangel @dnylwoo @dollyhaes @gyulune @wonranghaeee @tsukkisboo @cheolism (strike through could not be tagged)
#lee chan x reader#lee chan imagines#lee chan smut#dino x reader#dino smut#dino scenarios#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagines#svt x reader#svt imagines#svt fanfic#📝 writing
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