#prepare urself to be aNNOYED :D

[lapdecker]

u capture the peak essence of the Annoyed By Lucifer™ starter pack and i love it

* beep beep how’s my portrayal?

jslkdfjksdl chloe is so done with him it’s amazing tYSM ANGEL ILY

[ayyezhongli]

dom student council pres zhongli x troublemaker childe

Guess who’s back :D Back with some zhonchi smut for all u sinners. Note: Theres a lot of spelling errors bc when i wrote this i was telling it to a friend n they said i should post this n i’m too lazy to edit it so yeah! enjoy <3

summary kinda: child did something n is now stuck in detention with zhongli being a kinky president of the student council watching him.

so childe is bored asf n tries seducing zhongli. but childe has always had a crush on zhongli. thats why he misbehaves to get his attention.

so zhongli says “ur here again” n sighs

“yup did you miss me?! dont answer that bc ik you did”

n zhongli sighs again all annoyed n shit

“seems you never learn”

“maybe i’m jus here bc i love n want to see you everyday”

n zhongli taking that as sarcasm rolls his eyes

“i doubt that.”

and so for like 30mins childe is making all these noises to get zhongli’s attention and annoy him which it works. and zhongli having enough of it already decides that he needs to be punished. so he gets up n walks over to the desk childe is sitting at cups his face with his hand grinning

“u rly like to get on my nerves dont you~…..” and childe’s tryna contain himself

“is it working~?”

“idk pretty boy….wanna find out for urself~…..”

n zhongli is like inches away from childe’s face. n childe still keeping his composure decides to tease back hoping to get what he’s longed for for so long.

“idk do i~?….”

and zhongli leans in n jus as hes abt to kiss childe he pulls away and walks back over to the teachers desk and childe is really disappointed bc he thought he finally had it but jus lost it. so zhongli goes back to working on his paperwork while childe is just furious.

”Is this how u treat everyone?! tease them and leave them with nothing. take advantage of us!!”

n zhongli bursts out laughing putting his papers in a neat stack

”ur quite interesting childe, if i said it was jus u would that make u feel better??”

and childe huffs rolling his eyes still rly pissed off.

“did u want more? were you expecting something more from me? something else?”

n childe blushing looks away

“fuck off”

n zhongli gets mad at the response and pulls out one of those long ass rulers n gets up n starts walking to childe.

“thats no way to speak to the student council president. you need to be punished”

so zhongli sets the ruler aside still pissed asf

“get up.” childe ignores.

”get up right now.” childe still ignores.

so zhongli grabs the ruler smacking it against the desk childe is at.

“GET UP RIGHT NOW!”

n childe jumps a little and gets up

“ok ok chill”

so childe walks over to zhongli n stands in front of him.

“im gonna punish n force you into submission until u completely submit to me”

childe laughs

“no way. you really think u can do that? just try”

“oh i will. just watch me”

(a/n: in this fic childe has bright pink sensitive nipples bc ughh 😩🤌���� well both of them have bright pink nipples but zhonglis r rly sensitive.)

so zhongli turns childe around n starts grinding against him causing childe to moan ever so slightly.

“do u like that~?”

n childe tryna keep his composure laughs to cover up a moan. n zhongli looks down and grins seeing childe’s hard erection through his clothes.

so zhongli reaches down n starts palming childe causing slightly louder moans to come out of his mouth.

“your so hard for me childe….what a naughty slutty little boy~“

childe loses it bc zhongli is finally saying the things he’s been dreaming of him saying. so zhongli amused starts licking the shell of his ear biting and nibbling it which makes childe blush harder. so zhongli reaches his hand down into childe’s pants and boxers and wraps his hand around childe’s dick which he almost cums. so zhongli starts pumping him n not even 30s he throws his head back on zhonglis shoulder n cums letting out a loud moan

“fuck zhongli~…..”

zhongli smirks very amused

“so quick to cum~ do i rly turn u on that much~?”

n childe fights the urge to nod his head and submit. he’s not going down without a fight.

“no i was just pent up. why would i be for someone like you!!”

zhongli snickers and slides his hands up childes shirt n starts taking it off.

“not submitting yet i see~….”

“did u think it would be that easy asshole? ha!”

so zhongli turns childe around.

“you should just give up now! your not go-“

n zhongli interrupts him with a passionate kiss. a long deep one filled with sexual tension n desire. he leaves childe blushing like crazy and gasping for air.

“what was that? i didnt catch the last part, say that again.”

“i said that i’m never gonna sub-“

n zhongli interrupts him again. same thing happens like 2 more times until childe gives up.

“can u repeat that one more time?”

and childe looks away with a annoyed expression on his face

“glad that shut u up~”

so then zhongli looks childe up and down bites his lip causing childe to blush.

“you’re kinda cute…i think i can use u….”

n childe blushes more

“and these nipples….”

zhongli says while pinching them making childe arch his back and moan loudly.

“they look pink and innocent…but when i pinch n twist them like this…”

childe lets out n even louder moan with a face flushed even more n drool running down the side of his mouth

“….you make such naughty noises and that really turns me on.”

and so zhongli continues pinch n play with them and then starts marking his neck.

“what if i made u mine hmm? my little fuck toy? or how abt pet?? you could be of some use to me….”

and all childe can do is whimper. so zhongli has him bend over on the teachers desk and pulls down childe’s pants. and he like squeezes childes plump round ass and caresses it before grabbing the ruler and spanking him with it which causes childe to moan n cum immediately.

“ur such a slutty masochist”

n childe groans n is like stuttering his words

“w-w-well ur so fucking sadis-“

n zhongli spanks him not with the ruler this time but his hand n childe jus looses it.

“ready to submit….?”

n childe tryna keep the ounce of pride he has left shakes his head.

“no!”

zhongli spanks him again.

“how abt now?”

“No!”

n so zhongli gets an idea n sticks his fingers inside childe’s mouth.

“suck”

childe does so n a minute later zhongli pulls them out.

“what are you gonna d- ahh!”

and zhongli’s fingers are wiggling around inside childe tryna get him prepared. childe has just completely lost it. he’s drooling all over the desk, moaning so loudly that if there was people here they would be able to hear, clinging onto the edge of the desk like his life is on the line.

“f-fuck zhongli…ahhh”

he’s a panting slutty mess. a fee mins later zhongli pulls his fingers out n takes off his own pants and boxers lining himself up to childes entrance. he inserts only the tip of his dick causing childe to go even more crazy if thats even possible n moan so fucking loud. but its been long enough. he wants more. more of zhongli inside him. he wants all. all of zhongli inside him. so he whimpers n cries out zhongli’s name.

“whats the problem sweetheart?”

zhongli says grinning from ear to ear.

“pls..”

childe says desperately

“pls what?”

”pls zhongli i-….”

“you…? gotta tell me what u want otherwise i wont know.”

“pls i want more of u….!!”

“beg for more than.”

“Zhongli pls i want ur cock inside me so bad. pls i’ll do anything!! just fuck me already!!”

“anything…?”

zhongli says slipping half way inside him.

“y-y-yes just pls fuck me!!”

n zhongli, a very satisfied man jus starts pounding into him hitting his g spot every time.

“Fuck! fuck! fuck! FUCK! ZHONGLI PLS SLOW DOWN AHH~!!”

n that only makes zhongli speed up and childe cums like multiple times. after a while, giving a few last thrusts zhongli comes for the second time inside childe. and pulls out while childe just drops to the floor completely unable to move or anything. jus a panting blushing hot slutty mess with zhongli’s cum dripping out of him. all pride lost. pulling his pants and boxers back on zhongli lifts him up to his feet and bc childe has no strength he just falls onto zhongli resting his head on his shoulder.

“now that you’ve completely submit to me, ur all mine~….mine to do whatever i pls with. mine and only mine. No one else….”

and childe jus nods groaning bc of the pain.

”i hope u learned ur lesson now. unless…. you wanna comeback again for another visit…”

n childe jus groans again.

“i see the way you look at me childe….a look filled with lust and desire…its really quite a turn on~….. you look so desperately….so needy….so vulnerable…the amount of times i wanted to bend you over and fuck u so hard until you cant walk is too much to count. i wanted to make you mine so no one else could have that innocent slutty little boy who’s just oozing with sexual desire. any man or woman would get turned on n wanna have there way with you. u needed to be protected and only by me.”

so zhongli grinds his teeth bc of how possessive he is.

“so no one but me can fuck u stupid. and now that ur finally mine…i dont have to worry abt it so much as before”

n so zhongli strokes childe’s hair n plants a kiss on his head.

“you’re my precious little play thing.”

and childe, burying his face into zhongli’s chest smiles bc thats all he ever wanted. and then he looks up at zhongli as zhongli looks down at him smiling.

“zhongli…?”

”yes?”

“if all u said was true….why were u such an asshole to me. you were stricter on me than others, ruder to me than others, tougher on me then others….so why?”

“why?”

zhongli chuckles n childe nods

“to keep a good reputation, but i also wanted to push you, everytime u got angry and gave me attitude it only turned me on. which is why i kept going….does that answer ur question?”

n childe grunts

“u sadistic fuck!”

n zhongli laughs

“says the one who got turned on every time i public humiliated or yelled at you….”

“thats not true!!”

“uh-huh…the sexual energy u admit would become stronger and i could hear your breathing getting heavier with breathy tiny moans and u would always part ur lips slightly and rub ur thighs together and on top of that, ur eyes squint ever so slightly.”

childe was speechless bc this whole time he thought he was being slick.

“w-w-well that doesnt matter!”

childe said huffing and zhongli only chuckled and kissed his head.

“hey childe…”

“what!”

“i love you….”

childe was blushing like crazy. never in a million years did he think zhongli would say that.

“you can’t just go randomly saying those things?!!”

childe said burying his face deeper into zhonglis chest.

“b-but i love you too i guess…”

he mumbled and zhongli smirked.

“look at me.”

childe looked up into zhonglis ambers eyes embarrassed asf.

“wh-wh-what is it?”

“you’re really cute yk.”

n zhongli leaned down slightly and kissed him before he could say anything else. the end :)

thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed even though its formatted weird and kinda sorta a story. 🥰

[hornime]

mutually assured destruction | kyoutani kentarou x gn!reader

he pushed your cheeks in with his fingers, effectively quieting your protests. “be quiet,” he spat, “and take what i give you. or nothing at all.”

warnings: 18+, fwb!kyoutani, hate sex, degradation, orgasm denial, fighting for dominance (idek if that’s a thing but it should be), both you and kyo are BRATTY AS HELL, some choking, spitting, CHAIN BITING, kinda toxic ?? but like mutually so it cancels out cus pemdas ???

w/c: 1.7k (i got carried away but kyoutani is just so sexy)

a/n: the way i came up with this title while studying for apush and then kyoutani flooded my mind and suddenly the catalysts of the cold war no longer mattered to me anymore.

you and kyoutani were not a good mix, not by a long shot. simply being in the same room was a disaster waiting to happen; he was a bundle of tnt and you were a lit match. for all that you hated each other, though, both of you needed the other for something: a fuck that would never disappoint.

the sex, just like your relationship, was explosive. it was heart-stopping, ab-clenching, vision-blinding, breath-stealing, hardcore-as-fuck sex. neither of you could get enough of it nor wane yourself off it. you were addicted.

it made you hate him even more.

[11:05 PM] kyo-kyo: come over

you cringed at the contact name. you must’ve changed it after the last time you hooked up, all stupid and cock-drunk. you quickly retyped his contact info before responding to his message.

[11:05 PM] you: why

[11:05 PM] kyoutani: are you an idiot? you know why

[11:05 PM] you: ik i just wanna hear u say it

[11:05 PM] you: say that ur soooooo horny that you just haddddd to text me

[11:06 PM] kyoutani: no. fuck you.

[11:06 PM] you: fine. im not coming over then.

you both knew that was a lie.

[11:08 PM] you: have fun taking care of urself.

[11:08 PM] you: needy bitch.

[11:08 PM] kyoutani: watch it. i wasnt this mean when you were begging me to fuck you last week.

you sighed. that was a moment of weakness.

[11:08 PM] kyoutani: whatd you say last time? something along the lines of “ill do whatever you want just come fuck me”?

[11:11 PM] kyoutani: *attachment: one (1) screenshot*

[11:11 PM] kyoutani: ohh it was “ill do whatever you want PLEASE just come fuck me”

[11:12 PM] kyoutani: youre so much nicer to be around when you use your manners

definitely a moment of weakness.

[11:12 PM] you: fuck off i get it. im coming

[11:12 PM] kyoutani: doors unlocked

the moment you nudged your way into his apartment, he was on you, hands gripping tightly at the flesh of your hips and teeth nibbling at your bottom lip.

“get off,” you groaned, pushing him away. as you peeled off your jacket, you glanced down at his pants and looked back up at his face with an amused expression. “are you hard already?”

he met your eyes with a gaze of lust—and was that desperation?—before turning to walk towards his bedroom, expecting you to follow. “no.”

“yes you are,” you teased. “you really needed me, didn’t you? you’re absolutely pathe—”

before you could finish, kyoutani grabbed your wrist before practically dragging you to his bed. he pushed you onto the mattress and, with his hands on your waist, maneuvered your body up until your head rested between his two pillows. “stop fucking talking. your voice is annoying.”

“at least i can keep it in my pants,” you retorted. “you’re just embarrassingly horny.”

“you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.” that shut you up.

he crept towards you until the gold chain around his neck dangled tantalizingly in your face. in an instant, you were kissing, aggressively melding your lips together in a mess of teeth and tongue. kyoutani’s hands clumsily reached for your bottoms, briefly breaking the kiss to unbutton your pants and yank them, along with your underwear, off your legs. he then did the same to himself, giving his leather belt a thoughtful once-over before glancing back at your face. he was clearly deliberating about something in his head, though you were completely clueless as to what, but he ultimately threw the belt to the side alongside his jeans with a shrug of his shoulders. maybe next time, he thought.

meanwhile, you’d taken off your shirt and were tugging at the hem at kyoutani’s. he seized your forearm, “stop being so impatient,” he chastised, before pulling the cloth over his head and letting it drop to the floor.

breathless, you both marveled in the glory of the other’s naked body. kyoutani, a lot more eager than you—though he’d rather die than admit that—closed the distance between you, leaning down to suck on your tongue. when he separated from you, his eyes cloudy and cheeks flushed, you spit in your palm, maintaining eye contact while feeling blindly for his cock.

he hissed, briefly shutting his eyes, as your fingers closed around his shaft, leisurely stroking up and down. 

“where’s the lube?”

“in the,“ his voice became strained as your thumb swirled his pre-cum around the tip, “the bo-bottom drawer. i’ll,” he groaned. “i’ll get it.”

you released his cock as he leaned over, opening the drawer and pulling out the bottle. he dribbled some of the liquid on the pads of his fingers and brought them closer to your hole. you tensed, eyes squeezing in anticipation as you prepared for the intrusion.

nothing happened.

in confusion, you opened your eyelids only to be met with the mildly-entertained expression of the man above you. “so hasty,” he tsked. his fingertips circled your fluttering hole but did nothing more.

“stop teasing,” you pleaded.

he slowly inched his fingers in, groaning as he watched your walls stretch to accommodate him. for a few minutes, he did nothing but push in and out and scissor his fingers, making you wider and wider.

“put it in.”

your words were met with little resistance—he wanted this as much as you did, if not more—and he repositioned himself, aligning his cock with your hole, now stretched and slick with lube. he moved his hips in, moaning lightly as he bottomed out.

“f-fuck,” he mumbled. “you’re so tight.”

“just move.”

he obliged, thrusting in and out, faster and faster, until you both were crying out in pleasure, scrumptiously close to your orgasms.

“i’m gonna cum soon,” you babbled. “don’t s-stop.”

“oh, are you now?”

you nodded mindlessly, brain hazy and unable to register the sinister undertone of his question.

“y-yeah. i’m so close. so. close—fuck i’m gon-”

kyoutani suddenly halted his movements, eyes blazing as he looked down at you.

“wha-why’d you stop?” you couldn’t help but whine. “i was so close.”

“are you seriously asking me that? why i stopped?” he taunted. “who’s the one that called me a ‘needy bitch’? huh?”

shit. if you’d known that he was going to use your jabs against you like this, you never would’ve made them. hindsight is a bitch.

“i didn’t mean it, kyo,” you pleaded, innocently using the cute nickname. “you know that. so why don’t you just give me what i wan-”

he pushed your cheeks in with his fingers, effectively quieting your protests. “be quiet,” he spat, “and take what i give you. or nothing at all.”

he thought for a moment. “and call me ken.”

he resumed his thrusts, significantly more erratic than before, and you couldn’t help but call out his name: ken, k-ken, fuck ken, more. 

however, you’d sobered up from your denied release, and a wicked plan was beginning to formulate in your head. kyoutani, actually ken, now, was losing his composure even faster than you were—he’d denied himself an orgasm for the sake of punishing you, after all. you could tell that his dominance was crumbling—his shaking forearms and barely concealed moans had not gone unnoticed—and now was a good a time as ever for revenge. 

and his chain, his stupid, fucking, gold chain, was getting on your nerves, clashing with your face every time his hips met yours. fed up and driven by vengeance, you clasped your teeth around the glimmering necklace, catching him off-guard.

he looked down at you, curiosity shining through his lustful gaze. “what’re yo-”

you quickly jerked your head to the side, yanking him off balance and making him land on his side. in an instant, you’d forced him onto his back and straddled his muscular thighs, a triumphant look visible on your face. 

“how’d you even d-” ken choked on his words as you slammed back down on him again, taking him impossibly deeper. his hands scrambled to grip the bedsheets, “shit.”

“for the record,” you panted in between heavy breaths, rocking your hips, “i called you a needy bitch because you are a needy bitch.”

“shut up. no i’m no-”

your hand closed around his neck, preventing him from continuing. “yes you are,” you insisted, “and you’ll take whatever i give you.”

he shook his head out of your grasp, gasping for air. “i fucking hate you.”

“open your mouth,” you ordered. he glared at you defiantly. “open,” you purposefully clenched, tightening your hold on his cock, “up.”

at the sudden change in pressure, he couldn’t help but throw his head back and moan, allowing you to harshly grab his chin and let your salvia drip off your lips onto his awaiting tongue.

“swallow,” you demanded.

overwhelmed by the undeniable pleasure coursing through his veins, he did so without complaint. why does it taste good, he sighed internally. now i’m gonna want more.

just a few thrusts later, you both reached your orgasms, moaning far too loud in a room of walls that were far too thin. the intensity made your muscles turn to jelly and you collapsed onto ken’s chiseled chest, your bodies both trembling.

“‘m tired,” you mumbled into his collarbone.

“yeah me too,” he snapped. “you’re fucking exhausting to be around. i don’t know why i do it.”

“i do,” you teased, raising your head, “‘cus you’re a needy bi-”

he mashed your cheek back into his shoulder. “don’t finish that.” you weren’t sure if the fuzziness in your mind was clouding your judgement, but you swore you could hear the hint of a snicker in his voice.

gradually shaking the exertion out of your limbs, you picked up your clothes and got dressed, walking out ken’s front door with a middle-finger throw over your shoulder.

“i hope i never have to see you again!” he called out behind you.

as you headed back to your apartment, your phone buzzed with a text:

[02:01 AM] ken: i have a team dinner on tues and its gonna be annoying and ill probably be frustrated as hell

[02:01 AM] ken: so

you hesitated before responding.

[02:01 AM] you: i can be there around 10

[02:02 AM] ken: cool. sounds good

you couldn’t help the corners of your mouth from turning up. you were happy—in a sick, perverted, sex-crazed kind of way—but happy all the same.

tuesday couldn’t come soon enough. you were going to absolutely destroy each other.

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[hanniejji]

"hitting my boyfriend with a bag" tiktok prank

[ bakugou katsuki x y/n ] [ midoriya izuku x y/n ] [ todoroki shouto x y/n ]

anon: "Can I request Shoto, Katsuki, and Izuku gf pranking them with the hitting my boyfriend with a bag tic tok prank?"

note: ok so i had to search what the hell is that tiktok prank bc i only know tiktok dances but i WHEEZED DJANFKS | m.list

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

are you trying to get urself killed

because that's suicide

is going to be annoyed the moment your bag hits his head

"oi, watch it"

he'd scoff at you but won't make a big deal out of it

will hate the fact that you didn't apologize tho

so he's gonna give you a glare

will hate u more when you try to act innocent

"did you even hear me—"

you swung the bag back

and hit him square on the face

"SHITTY WOMAN!!"

you bet your ass he's going to ignore you for the rest of day when you started laughing so hard

even if you explain to him that it's just a tiktok prank he's going to ignore you

"im so sorry babyyyy"

"go away"

hug him from behind and cuddle his back maybe then he'll consider

kiss him on the neck and yknow ;) he'll forgive you in an instant

the next day you're going to have to prepare

he's getting his revenge :D

MIDORIYA IZUKU

how can you do this to izuwu :(

he's going to ignore the first hit on the face

"ow"

he'd say that in a smol voice but would still keep his focus on his phone

but will secretly peer his eyes to you if you noticed

how are you not guilty :(

so when the next hit comes, izuku's definitely in pain when the base of you bag hits his nose

"y/nnnnn" he whines

"holy shit baby im so sorry"

hold his face and kiss his nose please he deserves it

his gonna be quite teary he's just playing with you u big meanie

explaining to him that it's a tiktok prank will be hard because he has this cute sad look

"kiss it better?"

"ive been kissing it for a few minutes now"

*insert izuwu pout*

"ok come here you little cinnamon"

he deserves the smooches

TODOROKI SHOUTO

he's confused

he'd grunt at the first hit on his forehead, maybe caress it a little to sooth the pain

but don't be fooled

he already noticed your motive

the phone resting above the dashboard in front of you was already a give away

you thought you were slick

he'll have a hard time containing his smile the whole prank

when the bag hits him square on the face he'd let out a loud pained cry and cover his eye

it actually hurts a lot but he's kind of exaggerating a bit

"oh sHiT baby im sorry did i hit you too hard? baby?"

you'd pull his hands away from his still closed eyes

it's for special effects we love an amazing actor

he'll nod at that and he'd love how you'd fuss over him, softly caressing the lid of his closed eyes before placing smol kisses

he'd surprise you by pecking your lips with an amused smile, now with both of his eyes open

"you're horrible with pranks, babe"

"shouto"

taglist: @bakutae

[studylustre]

dearest carol ☁️ i wanted to drop by after a long absence to share my excitement—i submitted my med school apps today! ⭐️ it has been a grueling few months of preparation and sleeplessness… but now, i just need to stay on top of mcat studies (doing a retake ;_;) and soon secondaries will roll around D: but my place now smells of peonies, which i bought today in celebration of this first round. how have you been, carol? it has been so long— also happy belated summer solstice! ☀️ -snowflake anon

oh my gosh snowflake anon!! ur timing is uncanny bc i was legit just thinking about u and wondering how u were and now ur here!! wow!! i have missed u 🌷and i hope u have been well!! thank u for dropping by with an update. congrats on submitting ur apps, how do u feel? and how are u feeling in general? it seems like things are v busy for u lately, which is great but i hope ur taking the time to look after urself 🌱 as for me, i’m doing ok!! i’ve been busy w/ my language studies as per usual, but i’ve also recently gotten v into playing the piano + working out which has been v fun. on a less fun note though, i am still recovering from a post-viral cough i had back in january and it’s!! annoying!! af!! and i’ve been to the doctors 3 times about it with no real answers as to why i’m still coughing other than having a shitty immune system so i’m now taking antibiotics which is not fun but hey, gotta do what u gotta do sajlkfsjfdglf anyway happy belated summer solstice to u too!!

[grapehyunshair]

Mark as a boyfriend uwu

okay im about to bust the fattest uwu bc imagine mark as ur bf i mean

cutest man in the world

GIGGLES

he would literally think you were the funniest person in the world

u would probably make a fool of urself in front of him just bc u wanted to hear him laugh bc

his????laugh????was?????your????? favourite?????thing??????ever????

he would be so excited to hang out with u

all the members would probably tease him bc he cant stop talking about you

hypes you up like damn my baby is beautiful

your whole relationship was so chill,????

like u were lowkey best friends with each other

ur fav thing to do at nights was sit on the rooftop and talk about ur day

c u d d l e s

u were the only person that made mark soft and accepting of affection

the boy was attached to u

he was hugging u 24/7 and kissing u 20 times a day at least

hyuck was disgusted but happy for his friend

one time u and mark collabed for a stage and he couldnt stop blushing

makeouts are either soft af or rough when he has a bad day

he always makes sure ure happy tho

huge giver, would literally do anything to please you

you would sometimes help him with his rap

he would ask u to teach him ur first language so that he would be prepared when he met ur parents uwu

would take u out on many dates

ur no.1 meme provider

he'd be like "yo y/n check this out"

i dont see mark and u arguing often

u two couldnt survive an hour without each other so one of u would eventually apologize

there were times tho when one of u fucked up and u two ended up not speaking for days

until one of u felt bad and did everything to make the other forgive them:(((((

u and hyuck pranking mark constantly bc u both loved to see him annoyed

hyuck would probably pay the price tho bc mark couldnt stay mad at u:((((

aLL IN ALL MARK WOULD BE THE BESTEST BOYFRIEND AND GIRL WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH HIM EVEN THO HE INSISTS ITS THE OTHER WAY AROUND

[wonderlustlucas]

eggs - lee taeyong

⇢ prompt Breakfast does not go to the stomach, it goes to the heart. ⇢ pairing taeyong x female reader ⇢ word count 3.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none unless fluff gives u whiplash :D ⇢ summary “Taeyong fluff. basically like they aren’t a couple yet but they know they both like each other so they’re all cutesy and shit :) plot doesn’t really matter tbh as long as it’s some cute ass fluff”—request ⇢ a/n take this fluffy shit and shove it up ur ass for optimum benefit

“Noona, will you please make us breakfast?” You are one hundred percent going to kill him.

“Ten, call me that again and the only thing I will cook is your arms and legs. I just bought cereal and milk, so leave me alone,” you groan like a branch under the weight of snow, rolling away from the brightness of the sun filtering through the window and swinging a leg out from beneath the covers to dangle off the bed. “No, you finished the cereal Thursday and never told me to pick up more, plus there’s no milk left,” Ten retorts, voice muffled behind the white door and at the sound of his—your—friends laughing, you feel like screaming. “Then go out and buy some more!”

“___, there’s like fifty eggs in the fridge, plus it’s past twelve and loverboy is starving, don’t you want to cook for T—“

“Okay, shut up!” You shout, accepting defeat rather than embarrassment and whipping the blankets away with an annoyed sigh. Picking a crumpled tee shirt from the floor, you pull it over your head with a certain irritation and make way for the door, swinging it open and glaring coldly at the grinning boy despite the heat growing on your cheeks like sunburn. “I hope you rot in Hell,” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his chest and stomping past him.

In a weak attempt to move past your guests as quietly as possible, you direct your attention to the floor and scurry through the living room quiet as a mouse, embarrassingly aware of loverboy’s—as Ten called him—presence. “Morning, ___.”

Caught. “Good morning,” you sigh, finally averting your gaze to look at the trio and offering a feeble wave. Maybe if you just pretend that he isn’t here, you can survive the day. However, as soon as your eyes land on Lee Taeyong and all his glory, hot rosiness is already burning its way up your neck quicker than before and settling on the apples of your cheeks. Curse you, you want to say, mouth sour and stare fixated on the brunette for a heartbeat too long until he smiles and you embarrassingly hurry on to the kitchen.

If it’s not for the incessant growling of your stomach, you truly contemplate opening the refrigerator door just to slam it back on your head; however, even though you would never admit it, cooking breakfast for Taeyong remains to be your first and foremost priority on this lovely afternoon. And so, no matter how much you don’t want to, you smack a cast-iron pan loudly on the stove and twist on the gas, pausing to count with your fingers how many eggs you’ll need before eventually just grabbing the whole carton.

You see, developing a crush on one of Ten’s friends was never part of the plan. To be entirely honest, you had laid in bed the night Ten first moved in, tucked delightfully in your duvets wondering how in the name of God you were going to survive just a week without falling for him. However, as time went on, Ten’s fiery attitude and the fact that it seemed as if his friend Johnny was the one who in fact moved in based on the amount of time he spent in your shared apartment made it quite painless to get over the brief obsession in your newest flatmate.

And while Ten does have a mentality spicier than sriracha, you could not find it in yourself to complain when he brought not one but three friends over two months into moving in. By that time, you were fairly close to Johnny, considering he was knocking on the door almost every day (at this point, you had already settled on the idea that the two were one hundred and fifty percent dating, although you would never ask), but had zero ideas that Ten even had other friends, let alone met them.

And to be quite frank, you did not expect another two attractive men to enter your life. Jung Jaehyun, quite possibly the most angelic human you have ever met and Lee Taeyong, the greatest threat to your existence.

Perhaps you would not have fallen so quickly if it was not for the fact Ten was adamant on having the three over every fucking day. The first time you met was a terrifying case of embarrassment; you had been sleeping in when you woke to quite possibly the loudest noise to ever enter your eardrums. And so, with speed faster than light, you fled from bed with nothing but measly undergarments to see what sort of Satanic ritual Ten was pulling, only to find two strangers grimacing at an enormous box now flat on the floor.

It was painfully awkward, from the moment they noticed your ghastly presence in the doorway, to the realization they just dropped the new television Ten just bought, and finally to the fact you were practically naked in front of them. Without even a glance to their faces and with a noise akin to a frightened mouse caught in a trap you spun back behind the door, slammed it closed, and dove back into bed, shivering under the covers and planning your plan of survival that included never leaving the one hundred and twenty-seven square feet of your bedroom.

However, five hours later your stomach had a mind of its own.

6:07 PM - To Ten: i will literally do absolutely anything u want ever in ur life if u bring me cereal

6:07 PM - From Ten: No shot

6:07 PM - To Ten: oh my god ten please

6:08 PM - From Ten: I think my friends need an apology for seeing ur titties this morning🤧

6:08 PM - To Ten: please dont do this to me im so hungry i will literally do anything

6:08 PM - From Ten: Bj?

6:08 PM - To Ten: yes an infinite everyday

6:08 PM - From Ten: hmmmm

6:09 PM - From Ten: nah

6:09 PM - From Ten: come get food urself

With an infuriated, muffled scream into the downy pillow, you hurl your phone to the mattress before leaning up and mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of teasing from your sinister flatmate. Sighing obnoxiously as you exit your bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, absolutely nothing in the entire fucking universe could have prepared you enough for the unquestionably perfectly crafted specimen of Lee Taeyong.

Upon first glance, you barely noticed his figure hidden in the corner of the room, simply a monochrome silhouette concealed in the darkness. It was not until the hues flashing from the television lit up the dark space with brightly colored shades from a commercial did he come into view, seated on the farthest side of the sofa. He was like a single brilliant star on a sky of perfect midnight velvet, a star whose gravity stole the air from your lungs and left you breathless in the doorway upon first glance.

He was by far the most alluring human you have ever seen.

“Hey ___!” Ten suddenly shouted, cutting your train—or lack thereof—of thought into shreds and replacing it with your previous hatred. “Die,” was all you said, earning a chuckle from someone, although you could not seem to care to find out who and instead continued for the kitchen.

“How’s your day been?” He continued, yelling from the other room and you contemplated whacking the side of his head with a cast-iron pan. “Don’t talk to me,” you shouted back while rummaging through the refrigerator, only to pull out a container of half empty white rice left over two days prior and a gallon of Breyers Extra Creamy Vanilla from the freezer.

“Are you grumpy because of what happened this morning?” He singsongs, followed by just leave her alone from an unknown voice as you grab two spoons and slam the drawer close. He was truly pushing your buttons. Ice cream, rice, and spoons in hand you made way for the living room, paused midway, and mercilessly pegged one of the metal spoons at Ten.

It unexpectedly hit him square in the forehead, creating a chorus of oohs from the others and you beamed. “Don’t forget who owns this apartment, Chittaphon,” you sneered, gracing his friends with a beaming smile before spinning on your heels and marching back into your bedroom.

Needless to say, Ten found it in himself to never tread that deep into your patience again and even apologized the next morning. However, the image stuck in your brain of whoever sat in the corner of the living room could not go without questioning.

“Hey, who was over last night, by the way?” You asked as Ten took a seat on the couch beside you, flicking between different television channels. “Taeyong and Jaehyun.”

“Which one had the pink hair?”

Ten huffed, throwing in the towel when it came to choosing an adequate channel, “Taeyong, why?”

You shrugged, “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not dumb, c’mon. You think he’s cute?” More than cute.

“I only saw him for like, a millisecond,” you sniffed, waving him off and returning to your assignment. “Good news. They’re coming over again tonight!”

You groaned, throwing your head back onto the plush cushion and kneading your eyes with your knuckles. “I didn’t pick up enough groceries to feed a whole soccer team,” you sighed, lolling your head over to blink at him. “We have eggs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Tae will help you.”

And only after a proper introduction when Johnny, Jaehyun, and Taeyong arrived an hour later, you found yourself in the talons of a trap designed to drag you down into the depths of drool-worthy dreams and endless nights of “being in your bag.”

When it came time to cook a meal for the new clan you found ravaging your apartment, it took no less than half a minute for the cotton candy haired art-major (something you found out about him during some unacceptably adorable small talk) to jump up from his spot on the loveseat to aid you in any way possible.

“You like cooking?” He asked as you passed him another egg to be whisked, and you laughed heartily. “No, I just have to so I don’t blow all my money on takeout,” you explained, shrugged, and then followed with, “well, I don’t know. If I had time to cook out of enjoyment rather than survival, I would probably like it.”

“You should, it can be really relaxing,” he said, voice luxurious velvet as he poured the whisked eggs into the hot pan. “I don’t really know any recipes,” you shrugged, watching with quiet admiration as he went through what minimal spices you had while simultaneously folding the eggs into what would eventually be an omelet.

“Oh! I’ll have to show some you one day, then,” Taeyong grinned, and no matter how hard you tried you could not fight the rosy blush warming your features.

It was at this moment you realized you were royally fucked. There was absolutely no way of getting out of this one, you told yourself, and it was a constant reminder nearly every day when him, Johnny, and Jaehyun made their entrance. It was especially obvious on days he came over after class, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and revealing an inch too much skin that made your insides crawl, or the alone time you shared when he would help you in the kitchen, when one day over the course of three months you realized it had gone from two strangers forced to feed a group of helpless college kids to a pair naturally creating meals together, including a handful too many hip bumps, tickles, and any other type of physical touching to be categorized as just friends.

“No way,” you blew Ten off one morning when he asked if you thought you would ever date Taeyong, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

When all he did was roll his eyes, some part of you truly did drop with disappointment. For if he had said, “You should hear how he talks about you,” or, “You really are a dumb bitch,” then maybe you would have had some hope. But his lack of response confirmed your thoughts: Taeyong was an unattainable love.

Four months later, you and your now crimson haired friend dragged an absolutely wasted beyond repair Ten into his bedroom, flung him onto his mattress, removed his shoes, and patted him a good night.

“Sorry you had to deal with him,” you frowned, making way for the tiny kitchen and offering him a water in which he graciously took. Lord knows, if you had known he was coming, you would have been more prepared. And yet there you were, in nothing but an oversized tee shirt in front of the man who held all the stars in his irises and the very being of you in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taeyong smiled, clicked his tongue after taking a sip of water, “either way, I got to see my gi—you.”

Realizing his miniscule slip-up, Taeyong’s eyes grew the size of saucers, as did yours. My girl? Was that what he was going to say? You gulped, windpipe suddenly dryer than any desert on Earth, heart bumping frantically in your chest because holy shit, were you to blow it off or act on it?

Taeyong cleared his throat, and you did the same, an awkward tension suddenly filling the room thick like syrup and you were suffocating. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. G’night, ___,” said Taeyong, offering a weak pat to your cheek. You watched him in silence as he left, and as soon as the door shut behind him the world came crashing down, the walls suddenly seemed to shrink and you hopped off the barstool in order to save yourself and sped to your bedroom in a rush of excitement and undeniable shock.

Only two days later you saw him again, a mini celebration in your apartment for the end of the semester with a bit too much soju involved. You found yourself curled into his side as the antics settled down further into the night, however alcohol still had your nerves on fire and you were hyperaware of Taeyong’s hand on what was exposed of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, long fingers drawing random patterns onto the bare skin and you could not breathe.

“___,” he said, you turned from the loud Raymour & Flanigan commercial blaring from the television to look at him, eyes wide and honest and his heart lurched. He suddenly could not find it in himself anymore to ask if he could stay the night and instead languidly studied your pretty features, face hovering closely above your own so you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks and he did not know what to do.

“Taeyong!”

Ten shouted and the two of you jerked back, the serene moment suddenly popped like a bubble and you wanted to scream at him for ruining the possibilities.

The exchange between Taeyong and Ten turned to nothing but marbles in your ears, the idea of kissing him much too loud and growing from a small mustard seed hidden within your brain to an enormous tree. Except now it was in bold font and flashing every color known to man because there was no way he was actually going to kiss you, right?

Fast forward nearly a month later and here you were, found in yet another treacherous predicament as the man of your dreams sat only feet away. The past twenty-seven days were the worst of your life, you tell yourself; for every time you close your eyes, all you can picture is all the diminutive moments shared with Taeyong since your almost-kiss, every insignificant touch, every drawn-out ogling, every unnecessary compliment that only increasing became worse because Ten told him that you liked him. And instead of bringing it up, too fearful to do so even though you are convinced he must like you back, you push it away, avoiding any possible interaction that will lead to your potential collapse.

And so, when a, “Hey, do you want any help?” erupts from just around the wall, you nearly drop an egg when every muscle in your body freezes because yes he’s here but no get away. “Um,” you sniff, glancing down at the dozen eggs and then back to the boy sporting hair the shade of oozy caramel, “sure.”

You go on in silence, continuously passing Taeyong an egg to be cracked and then throwing out the shells, and you are telling yourself oh, this isn’t too bad until he decides to break the relative silence, “I like you.” You blink, squint at the wall before moving around him to wash yoke from your hands, hearing the words from those damn kissable lips makes your legs burn and heart thump at a rate that definitely is not healthy. “I know,” you finally answer, voice clogged in the back of your throat so you continue, “I like you too.”

“I know,” says Taeyong once you look up at him and he bestows upon you a toothy grin.

“I’m glad that’s settled, then,” you laugh breathlessly, leaning into his side as he scrambles the eggs, cheek pressed against his bicep, “you’re bulking up, I like it.” Taeyong drops his head to look down and you glance up with a smile that cannot seem to leave your face. “Jaehyun said the same thing,” he grins, pulling his arm away so that you must pull away but, just as your lips start to pout, he pulls your body close and wraps his arms around your waist.

In a sudden surge of courage, you raise your hand to trail a finger down the razor-sharp edge of his jawline, something you have dreamed of doing for months and now that you are finally able to, you do not know whether you will ever be able to stop. “Wow,” you almost say, breathlessly infatuated by his presence, however, the sudden pressure of his lips upon yours steals your breath furthermore and suddenly everything is all him and you pull yourself closer, air hitching in your lungs, nerves fizzing with sparks, melding your mouth against his own as the anticipation of kissing him over the past months has reached its boiling point.

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” Taeyong asks once you have pulled away, lips swollen red. “That’s the general plan, yes,” you laugh softly, planting a milder peck on the side of his mouth.

.

.

.

“Does anyone smell burning eggs?”

[bigowlenergy]

Notes on Gender, Ethnicity, and Culture

At the heart of the etoneki conflict/drama is nothing more than culture clash.

Eto may be amazing at studying others and have replicated humanity well enough to be a respected author among humans without anyone finding any clues to her ghoul nature, not even Haise in RE: - but she is still someone who was raised by ghouls. Her base nature is as a ghoul, from the 24th ward specifically. Naturally, there’s going to be some confusion between her and Kaneki, who was raised by humans.

But that leaves the good good question of what those differences should be. Clearly, some should be tiny, but there NEED to be huge misunderstandings bc I live for that kind of drama. Also, it’s a slowburn, so. that’s how it is.

this is long, and tagged for spoilers for a good reason. nothing specific, but if u like being surprised by the plot in ur grapefruit, go no further as of chapter 5

1) Ghouls have ABO while humans do not. Sure, there was a decently long time where Kaneki lived among ghouls, but can u picture early chapter Touka willingly sitting him down and giving the birds and the bees and the grasshoppers and also the spiders Talk? I think not. Maybe Kouma? Itori would. Like, they’d both kill him dead with it, but they would. And knowing the contexts within another culture doesn’t mean that you have assimilated those words/concepts to your own yourself, or that you actually know every single social detail, especially as it applies to others.

...but Eto does. And human gender/sexuality is fairly simple on the whole, except when it isn’t, so she has a leg up on him there.

plus, the way I have the ABO structured, it makes a bit more sense for him to be less aware of it, since his gender, as perceived by ghouls, is the most privileged one. Especially since its associated with deliberate power gain, which he totally played into during the later half of the first TG, so it would be a natural assumption for ghouls to make that he understood that he was acting exactly as his gender is socially expected to. and in a way that would socially cement his powerful omega status.

Tsukiyama would totally say something about it, since with the whole affluent family thing he’d probably be very aware of gender and social dynamics, but anything shuu says can be followed by “and he called me a cabbage in French last week, so okay shuu, whatever poetics ‘omega’ means to u, go ahead, have your fun buddy.” Banjou, who was involved with Rize, would be too worried about offending him or making it embarrassing to say anything. and as a ghoul even lower than shuu, he’d be super conservative about getting up in an omega’s business. It would just be this ambiguous open secret that everyone but Kaneki is totally, painfully aware of. the gasmask trio find this hilarious. Hina is a wee bab whose parent was a doctor for ghouls, so she just accepts her big bro as is.

so there’s eto’s expectations to be basically an underling to someone powerful as a normal, comfortable relationship dynamic, pitted against kaneki’s human-embedded inclination toward monogamy and not something that feels like weird bdsm domination stuff. they each are expecting a certain treatment from one another, and not getting it. eto feels neglected, since he isn’t all in her business and allowing her to settle in the shadow of his power and just ride things out, and kaneki, with only human expectations for sex, gender, and whatever the hell just happened, expects the worst from her as the “““male”““ in the relationship who manipulated him.

the conflict is that neither happens.

all of the power is on his side of the court, but in human terms, it feels like the opposite - vis a vis, human misogyny and all the horrible expectations for a sex and reproduction based marriage system that go along with that.

which is why i’ve inverted all that to make myself feel better :)

2) i kicked knots out bc idk about that business, but there have to be other physical differences. there have to be, or its boring. and then again, since both are hybrids, what should either have?

i’ve decided eto will have all physical differences or a learned equivalent due to ghoul socialization, while kaneki should have none but whatever was forced on him through his kakuhou - ie, pheromone stuff, but nothing more.

ghouls can purr, bc i am weak to that shit. Kaneki is aware of this. it’s just a Thing that they do. he’s read to Hina and she’s fallen asleep purring before and it was adorable. irimi purrs very quietly when she cleans things. uta is a purr machine when he makes masks, and it knocks yomo out unless he’s drunk, then he just purrs like a truck engine from the floor near uta’s desk for three hours. touka hasn’t purred since ayato left

eto purrs when she’s satisfied with her writing flow, which is one of the main reasons she prefers to work alone in her apartment and keep shiono out. otherwise, she doesn’t mind company. she also purrs when happy, like most ghouls. kaneki does not. i can site Haise’s RC scan on this: since he never took damage to the throat, he never had a chance to heal ‘more ghoul’ in that area.

so the exchange of a happy eto, deeply content with their uneasy peace, purring to express such delight, meets a blank wall that doesn’t agree. her social expression of happiness clashes up against kaneki only maybe leaning toward physical affection and being quiet. he can understand that she is happy, and she can understand that he can’t respond in the same way, but the dynamics of their relationship make her doubt her actions and get instinctually afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting someone much more powerful than her who also decides if she is allowed to reproduce with him or not. and stops purring and gets unsettled. kaneki is only confused and maybe she doesn’t like being touched? time to touch less. oh no, she did do Something Wrong and now omega is mad at her!! interpersonal drama escalates on both sides >:3c

ghouls have great night vision. kaneki also does and you know why. youve read the series. full ghouls have tapetum lucidum in both eyes, but eto only has it in her single ghoul eye. her vision is unbalanced in the dark but due to her learning to compensate for the slight reduction in light capture on one side she gets by just fine. it also parallels nicely with arima’s poor eyesight and learning to compensate for it.

ghouls are crepuscular while humans are diurnal, but this doesn’t matter since neither of etoneki know what a sleep schedule is. and the 24th ward doesn’t experience day/night cycles, so they have their own issues with sleeping when safe, do not sleep when not safe.

ghouls tend toward pack structure, but not in a rigid way where there can only be one omega/powerful ghoul per unit. as long as everybody gets along personally, its fine. omega don’t see each other as competition. alpha toss themselves at their feet without prompting. they’re not a scarce resource. alpha don’t even really fight over omega unless completely affected by heat and rut cycles and unable to grasp the concept of maybe next time. but even that is rare, mostly only those who are jealous as a person attempt this. if alpha fight over an omega and one wins, the omega might just kill them for taking away some of their prospects, or might be impressed by the show of strength. or annoyed by it, bc they want weak underlings. depends on the person. (eto is more than a bit possessive, at least for his first heat.)

more on this point as i think of it.

3)  I haven’t specified kaneki’s personal gender identity for a reason. that reason is that i’m not sure what direction i want to go. this is strictly for maman, not Sugar, which is trans girl Sasako forever. for this piece of feti/sh garbage? whom knows! (I know. and until word of god says otherwise - i’m god - every character is trans.)

but really, there’s options. and i love them all.

A) kaneki was trans all along. hide is best bi bud. aunt was a bitch, but nothing worse than canon since he was closeted at the time, although he doubly prepared to never speak to her again. (true neutral)

B) woke up a ghoul and with new parts. why believe a species change but not a sex change, eh? heightens the early game confusion and search for id as a person whose major ids have changed against his will. (lawful neutral)

C) gradual transformation. like how he came into his strength as a ghoul slowly. read a doujin like this once. was okay. quality art, big titties, 8/10. ngl would read the sequel. (Perhaps I am writing the sequel? aren’t we all just chasing our Brands across the lonely internet, hopping from one computer virus to the next? maybe u die reading hentai, or u live long enough to see urself post to ao3.) (chaotic neutral)

D) heals himself a new set of parts due to intense damage. see the haise RC chart, which has a ton of pathways around the hips/torso area. parallels with cutting eto in half?? (also lawful neutral)

E) started happening as a transformation when eto’s pheromones triggered his heat cycle for the first time. boy would he be pissed at her X2 lmao (lawful evil)

F) transformation during #240 time due to losing all memory and only having instinct to structure his body with, and just enough RC pathways to make a hormone based transformation possible. Chiba would have had a field day, but also would have torn out his horrible bowl cut in confusion. get rekt bud. not even #240 knows wtf goin on (neutral evil)

G) maybe he just wanted a vag! thought about that?? learns he is supposed to be able to manipulate his flesh like his kagune, which he is canonically great at, and just Goes For It. it works. he is a strong, dependent idiot who don’t need no dick. (iconic)

H) same as above, but that’s just what Haise does when he has the reigns. looks deep into his pastless self and asks ‘do i have to put up with this cis nonsense? not today.’ (chaotic iconic)

I) it happens suddenly when he activates his kakuja for the first time. queer the monster transformation u wish to see in the world. just. so confused. but also there’s Guilt to be felt about banjou and amon and such, so that’s back burner. (chaotic evil)

okay, so in like fifteen minutes i was able to name 9 perfect opportunities for ishida to carry though the motif of 1)iding with female ghouls 2)paralleling with canon trans man mutsuki 3)litcherally having a female ghoul organ donation fiasco 4)being associated with vacillating between masculine yang and feminine yin black/white 5)having a narrative that revolved around accepting his body and learning to find his own strength and id that is different than what he was born with - but coward ishida stopped sixty miles short of the mark. fool. I Cannot Feast Upon Crumbs, Sir. Sir, You Have Given Me Airplane Peanuts For Supper. Sir, I Am Starving And Antagonistic At Best.

(i shouldn’t call him a coward. three huge series magically having the same Wife And Kids ending all during the time shinzou abe is in office? probably not a coincidence. hope they got a good payout for it. i’d sell out for that $$$ too tbh)

eto is just an alpha. her human social id is a Normal Human Female Who Is Totally Cis and Straight for maximum social acceptance and ease of integration, but that’s only her mask. her personal id is an alpha, which is cis by ghoul standards, and she uses she/her pronouns bc she feels like it. she has the power to id as above alpha, but she enjoys the social invisibility it gives her, since she can blend in the background whereever and noone looks at her presumably weak ass twice. like chie, but for nefarious purposes.

....does that make her the equivalent of a ghoul feminist? i’m getting Too Deep

4) the wards can be isolated and far apart, and its been explored in canon with the Three Blades family and the white suites - congrats u 2 - and ghoul organizations that have a home ward having distinct cultural differences from one another. small ethnic groups and isolated diaspora? natives? subset?? of whatever the 24th ward ghouls - sorry, tokyo humans - are.

this sort of thing is only tangentially related to kaneki. if someone with a texas accent teaches someone to speak english, that person will have that accent, whether they’v ever been to texas or not. so he has some of the social mannerisms of a 20th ward ghoul, but generally still has a lot of ingrained human attributes to confuse them.

5) i’m still fascinated by the half finished thought about there are just some ghouls who become binge eaters in canon. like Rize wasn’t special for it. I think shinohara mentioned this?? but. it makes sense. general food insecurity, lack of permanent social support, total oppression, absurd power levels, plenty of humans to take it out on...ye.

and kaneki has the kakuhou of an adult binge eater. there’s cool hints of the kakuhou being parasitic, so a mature one would def fall into the biological fulfillment of binge eating for strength and carry that genetic knowledge into a new host. and from there, it would induce cravings, serotonin reward systems, and all that good stuff to get what its come to like.... like, mayhaps, a cordycepts? ;)

well, i’ve put ‘binge eater’ down as just a general omega trait, since it feels authentic to do so, so we’ll see what i do with this in the future. i will also see, since i too am ignorant of my own self. what will my horny subconscious do next? i am usually the last to know.

anyway,

peace

[kaleviv]

OKAY PREPARE URSELF. so fenneth: 2, 10, 22; wrax: 9, 14, 19; zefír: 3, 12, 15; ezra: 2, 16, 20; arya: 4, 13, 24; elithros: 5, 6, 11. :D

I GOT AN HOUR AND A HALF BEFORE MY NEXT CLASS, IM READY

fenneth:

2. What’s their date of birth? Do they follow the stereotypes of their zodiac?

fenneth’s a cancer! i didn’t really even have to think about that one lmao. she was born on June 26th. she fits cancer stereotypes almost to the letter, although i’ve heard cancers can be manipulative? which she really isn’t. 

10. Are they a dog or a cat person?

fenneth is a cat person! she’s very independent and reserved herself, so she relates strongly to cats. 

22. When your character is sad, what do they do to cheer themselves up?

druidcraft. it’s something she’s done to comfort herself since she was a child; it’s what got her through losing her husband. she loses herself in delicately channeling her magic. nowadays, she also loves spending time with her son; keeping him happy keeps her sadness at bay.

wrax:

9. What’s their biggest fear?

that his sister’s going to die hating him. he wasn’t there when their parents were killed, and he wasn’t there for her after. he was too scared to face her, and he hates himself for it, so he’s assumed for years and years that she hates him for it too. 

14. What’s their biggest secret?

i don’t remember whether i told you guys this?? whatever i’ll tell you here anyway. the dragon who killed his parents is hunting him down because he keeps killing their kids. he keeps this majorly hush hush; it’s hard to get anyone to talk to you if they know you’ve got a dragon on your tail. dragons are incredibly petty creatures.

19. Do they collect anything?

dragon corpses… hmm perhaps the classic “he really loves shiny things”. dragonborn children are discouraged from being covetous or “hoarding” anything because it’s considered a negative trait inherited from dragons that they need to subvert, so his childhood was very minimalistic. he still largely suppresses the urge to covet things because he doesn’t have a “home” to keep them in, but he does like to hold onto the jewels he finds until he absolutely has to sell them for gold.

zefír:

3. What type of drunk are they?

everybody’s friend/confidant/lover! drunk zefír is just regular zefír dialed up to 1000.

12. If they were handed a puppy, how would they react?

he would hand it right back! zefír is responsible for the welfare of sooo many children, a dog would absolutely be the straw that broke the camel’s back lmao. he tries to gently nudge stray animals towards other parts of kalathur so none of his kids will get attached to them and try to keep them.

15. What are their pet peeves?

when people walk on the wrong side of the street (it can get you killed in kalathur), people who have too many pet peeves (i looked up pet peeves on google and people get annoyed over the pettiest stuff, it’s honestly anxiety-inducing lmao. zefír has enough to worry about without adding pettiness to the mix!), and people who treat him like garbage because of who he is/where he’s from/who his parents were/etc.

BIG SHOUTOUT to people who hate kids, his least favorite sort of person

ezra:

2. What’s their date of birth? Do they follow the stereotypes of their zodiac?

he’s a fucking scorpio and he was born on October 31st!!! i’ll be honest, i was really torn between leo and scorpio for him; in the end, i feel like the driven passion of a scorpio fits him better than the dramatic narcissism of a leo. he knows he’s the best, but he knows it quietly and smugly. he’s not quite as sensual as scorpios are expected to be, though; he’s far too busy for that.

16. What’s their opinion of pineapple on pizza?

he’s a terrible person but he’s not uncouth. he doesn’t like fantasy pizza much at all, actually; he’s not big on cheese. he likes pineapple well enough when it’s kept separate from fantasy pizza.

20. What would their favorite band(s) be?

marina and the diamonds, lana del rey, and broods. the more melodrama, the better. 

arya:

4. Give three of their strengths and three of their weaknesses.

i appreciate y’all trying to figure out the weaknesses of my strongest characters lmao. once again i’m incredibly tempted to say NONE but i’m just not mean enough.

strengths: nerves of steel, her taste in armor, leadership/efficiency (this is a whole big category of strengths that essentially boil down to arya being the best commander in chief to ever command)

weaknesses: her family, jokes/humor, prejudice (this more of a weakness of character)

13. How would they react to suddenly being hugged?

DO NOT! Do not. do you love life? do you feel like life is maybe a little okay? do you have an aversion to dying? do not hug arya noldaran. 

24. Describe their voice.

maybe you’ll hear her one day ;) when her voice isn’t being attempted by me, she would sound 100% like indira varma! i love indira varma’s voice.

elithros:

5. What’s their favorite food?

he’s a hearty strong growing boy!! he loves BREAD you know those like… fancy savory breads with meats and cheeses and herbs they make on gbbo? he might as well be made out of those by this point. elenion bakes them for him all the time.

6. If they were to be represented by a seven deadly sin, which would it be?

hey guess what. you’ve found a family of wrathful bastards. the primary sin of everyone in the noldaran family is wrath lmao… but that said, elithros is the least wrathful of his family! so a secondary deadly sin for him would be envy. the thing about it is, elithros would never act on it and absolutely hates that he feels it, but he’s still envious. he envies ezra his freedom and his ability to not care because elithros cares so much all the time and it’s overwhelming. he envies people who are carefree, people who don’t have to deal with the complexities of his family and his identity. at his heart, he wishes for a simpler life.

11. Describe them in 5 words.

jock (dirty rowdy rough boy), dedicated, burdened, hero, empath

[wreckedregent7]

The Alert Becomes a Paragon

When I walked out into the arena, Thetis was already there waiting for me. The crowd was large as ever, and that human king, Regent, stood watching from the balcony as I stepped forward. Foebus was up there with him, watching with his arms crossed. He hated my tenacity, but loved the results.

“Vadryn T}{uris…Time and time again you }{ave proven beyond ambitious.” Thetis said, watching me move into position. We were already standing at the paces where the fight would start - after eight previous attempts, it was starting to feel choreographed.

“Your stubbornness is uncanny for a goldblood.” She mocked, looking me dead in the eye.

“< i take that as a compliment. >” I responded with my usual nonchalance. I’d grown accustomed to taking insults as praise.

“I }{ave one question before we begin.”

“< oh? shoot. >”

“W}{at compels you to keep c}{allenging me?” she asked, “You pus}{ yourself to bring new tactics to bear, and you suffer new ways to lose eac}{ time.”

Her face shifted to a mask of cold disdain.

“W}{y do you persist?”

“< why do i do it? >” I asked, plain-faced. “< hahaha, why ELSE would i do it? >”

We both settled into our stances, and white-hot static rippled over Thetis’ fingertips.

“< i do it for the glory. >”

Thetis issued Regent a quick nod, and he began to count down.

“Five…”

“Four…”

“Three…”

“Two…”

“One…”

“FIGHT!”

The Empress made the first move, darting to the side while throwing bolts of energy at me. I sent blue and gold lancelets ripping through the air, slipping beneath her own psionic barrage. Each swing of my arm sent another arc of brilliant power at my foe, and her motions sent more bolts in my direction.

My movement was cut short for dodging a laser blast, narrowly avoiding the worst assaults, only to get my shoulder tagged by one of the lighter shots. I swung my arm across the air, raking at it with half-curled fingers, and all the silvery spheres of energy intended for me crackled and dissipated.

Thetis began steadily ramping up the pressure, sending a salvo of psychic bolts while simultaneously pushing me towards the wall. I swung my good arm wildly, shattering more and more waves of her attacks while struggling to keep my footing.

Within moments, I gave up on trying to guard against the psionic barrage, and instead impelled myself from the wall with telekinetic force. My opponent saw an opportunity, and gave me freedom of movement, allowing me to hurdle recklessly forward.

I took full advantage of the momentum, and just barely managed to slide over the ground. Thetis jumped over me, and while she was still in the air, I raised my arm, and projected a kinetic field, suspending her in the air.

“< hey thetis, >” I exclaimed, rising to my feet. “< ever wonder what happened to the condesce’s battleship? >”

I expected no answer to my taunt, and instead immediately threw my arms apart, bringing my hands together with a thunderous clap. The field collapsed on itself with immense force, sending a shockwave throughout the room, eliciting a sound of awe from the crowd.

My good arm twitched after recovering from the shock, and I could feel the cords starting to burn beneath the skin. I was surprised that even with upgrades, it still hurt to overexert like that.

And then, mere moments after catching my breath, I felt more than a burn - a swift, heavy heel in my back, and I was thrown across the room, tumbling over on the floor like a ragdoll.

As I got back up, shaking from overexertion and physical pain, I heard a cold, cruel voice.

“Your brazen ignorance surprises and annoys me, Vadryn.”

Thetis hovered in the middle of the arena, her body limned with silver light. Her eyes glowed pale, and her hands were covered in the white static she was ready to unleash.

“To taunt as t}{oug}{ you }{ad t}{e advantage, and to pretend as if your stunt would }{ave been enoug}{ to so muc}{ as incapacitate me, let alone cause me any }{arm.”

I laughed. It was a hearty, wild laugh. Thetis’ brow twitched.

“< i guess there’s just one thing left to do, huh? >”

I grabbed at the bracelet around my wrist, tugging off my amp’s output limiter. The Empress raised her arm to prepare her final assault. I tossed the bracelet aside, and, grinning like the madman I am, I stepped forward.

In an instant, there was light. White, blinding light, then blue and gold streaks dancing around the air. A hundred-thousand bolts of psychic energy rained against me, a cascade of overwhelming power. But none of them harmed me. None of them so much as touched me, and instead they became wisps of white in the ever-growing bubble of blue and gold electricity surging around me.

I walked forward, and Thetis doubled her assault. I could hear her roaring, exerting herself to some measure to bury me in silver fire. But instead, the crackle and surge of my barrier drowned her out, growing further and further. By the time I reached the middle of the arena, I had my left arm outstretched, raised into the air.

I was confident what I had was enough to best Thetis, but I fed more power into it, shooting arcs of unbridled psionic power from my arm and into the massive barrier of gold. The Tyrian took a step back, bracing herself, and I laughed, half-mad with my own display of power.

“< I FORGOT TO MENTION SOMETHING, THETIS. >” My voice pierced the roar of psychic energy that enveloped both of us.

“< I BROUGHT ONE LAST TRICK TO THIS FIGHT. >”

My arm twitched under the pressure, the immense power stored in the bubble begging to be released.

“< SO NOW, JUST FOR YOU, I’M GONNA GO ALL OUT. >”

With one swift motion, my hand was thrown to face the ground, and for a moment, there was silence.

“< i’ve been waiting for this moment. >”

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, that had only truly been mere seconds, the gold and azure storm imploded on itself, and a great, massive arc of power obliterated the ground, sending a shockwave of pure psionic energy rippling out over the arena, knocking Thetis back against the far wall.

The arc surged through the ground, carving the sign of the Alert into the floor before completing it with one last wave of power, burning the walls of the colosseum ash-black.

I fell to my knees, and my consciousness started to fade, but as I looked up and opened my eyes, I saw Thetis standing over me, only just affected by my final attack.

“< did i…lose…again? >”

As I slipped out of consciousness, I felt something tapping against my shoulders, and then, nothing.

When I came to, I awoke in the locker room, laid down on the floor with a towel supporting my head. Regent and Foebus stared down at me, with my Emperor-to-be looking down with concern.

“< uh…hhey. >” I greeted them.

“o)– hey y()urself, dumbass.” Foebus chastised me. “o)– y()u nearly fucking killed y()urself trying t() beat thetis.”

“< hhah, like that’s news. >”

There was a moment of silence, before I looked up at Regent.

“< so what happened? >”

“You won.” He said before correcting himself “…But only just.”

I laughed - and groaned while I laughed. It hurt, but I laughed regardless - and then I coughed up blood.

“o)– quit it, vadryn, y()u’re ()nly making it w()rse.”

Within moments, I heard quick, light footfalls rushing into the room. Athene knelt down beside me, placing her hands on my stomach. Her hands glowed red, and the faint traceries of crimson magic darted through the air, forming an image like clock-hands ticking backwards.

“s()rry i wasn’t here faster - thetis was w()rse ()ff than i th()ught!”

Her apology was tinged with an excited panic, like she was in a rush to come mend my wounds.

“How bad?” Regent asked, leaning forward.

“harsh burns, busted ribs, and s()mething in her st()mach g()t the w()rst ()f the sh()ck.”

“And she’s okay now?”

Athene simply nodded, and focused on patching me up. Her hands moved over to my arm, then to my forehead, and down to my legs, with each moment spent on each limb reinvigorating me and repairing what damage Thetis had dealt.

“< ohh, she’s gonna kick my ass for that. >” I moaned, sitting myself upright, only to be pushed back down by my healer. I looked back up at her meekly, but, after seeing her frustrated expression, decided that I didn’t want to get on two Tyrians’ bad sides.

“Well, Vadryn, welcome to the Paragons.” the Seer said, as he stood up and moved to leave. “Get yourself some rest. You’ve earned it.”

And with those words, he was gone.

“< so, then… >” I began, gazing up into the concerned eyes of my Prince. “< after she gets finished healing me here, how about we hit the bar to celebrate? >”

The two fuchsias shared a mutual glance, before Foebus stared down at me in what I could only assume was disappointment.

“o)– abs()lutely fucking n()t.”

“< aww, c'mon. >”

Athene interjected, rising to her feet after she had finished her work.

“vadryn, y()u really sh()uld g() and get s()me rest.”

“< heh, is that an order? >” I asked confidently, finally sitting myself upright.

“o)– yes, it’s an ()rder.”

Foebus’ tone was strict, and he looked down at me with an annoyed expression. I hesitated in my response, before finally submitting to them.

“< alright, alright, you guys win. i’ll take it easy for a few days. >”

“o)– g()()d.”

With that, Foebus pulled me up to my feet, and we left the locker room, each of us going our own ways. Athene went off to catch up with Regent, Foebus left to go find Thetis, and I marched off to savor my triumph - and make preparations for the celebrations to come.