#pre reform Vulcans were not fucking around

[lichqueenlibrarian]

Yeah no that’s fucking terrifying

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok says that Vulcan children are very well behaved and have a lot of emotional control by the time they’re ~elementary school aged which makes sense but also makes me want to see what a Vulcan toddler or kindergartener acts like since they can’t be reasoned with as well (can’t really meditate) + are babies and also brimming with near irrepressible violence/emotions.

Vulcan toddler is just quietly accompanying their parent along on an errand. They stop and point to a toy of some sort and ask politely if they can have it. Their parent explains that they have enough toys at home. The toddler immediately throws the tantrum of the century. Just turns into an absolute wild animal in their rage. Other Vulcans are just like “aaa I remember when my children were that age” but any aliens around are like “oh my god is that thing OK??” I imagine even older Vulcan children would have issues with emotional control given that they’re also children! Though they’d of course know they needed to control themselves and behave...sometimes you just slip up. Vulcan children are playing together harmoniously. Then one breaks the established rules of the game. “I made contact with your arm. You are now the chaser.” “You did not make contact with my arm. I dodged your attempt.” “You dodged unsuccessfully. I made contact with your arm.” “I did not.” “You are cheating.” “I believe you are the one cheating.” And an adult has to rush over as one pounces on the other and they both begin screaming and clawing at each other’s eyes. The rest of the children are watching with interest or perhaps grabbing implements to assist their friend.  Little lapses in emotional control would probably be common until they reached like....highschool age. I can imagine an eleven year old Vulcan hearing they can’t sleepover a friend’s home and immediately shattering a vase before apologizing and cleaning it up.  It also seems like bullying would be very prevalent on Vulcan. Spock is canonically bullied frequently and it seems natural that Violent, Extreme Emotions in teenagers would lead to that kind of behavior which isn’t outwardly unacceptable (like crying, laughing, etc) but still satisfies an illogical desire towards cruelty and establishing dominance.  Vulcans schools probably have so many ‘Bullying Is Illogical’ seminars that do nothing and everyone makes fun of behind their teacher’s backs. Two Vulcan teenagers bullying each other, trying to see who has the more emotional reaction. If you cry or get mad you lose. Only babies cry and get mad...seems pretty illogical(cringe).  Vulcans seem to be very focused on respectability so I’m sure that as bloodthirsty teens there would be a lot of accusations and rules...if you hang out with X then Z,H and Y won’t talk to you. If you apologize too soon then they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you...if you don’t apologize at all they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you. It’s very stressful. Tuvok also said when he was a teenager in that one flashback that he was ready to fight over the girl he had a crush on (saying he’d “issue a challenge” or something) so I’m implementing that into my personal understanding of Vulcans...like adults do NOT want these kids to fight but amongst other teens they’re like:  “Seynar is my boyfriend.” “I disagree. He sat next to me during meditation three times this week.” “Only because I was absent.” “Then he is fickle and will be mine soon enough.” And then they challenge one another to a secret duel after school. Dueling to the death is very cool and grownup v_v (teens rarely die from such duels though bc either the other teen stops or someone told an adult). It makes sense to me that teenagers with violent urges would fight one another in a way that they consider acceptably adult. (mimicking the marriage ritual thing or even pon farr...romantic and cool.) Imagine being a teen Vulcan and your crush starts hinting that they have another person who might be interested in them....hmmm.....and you know you’re gonna have to duel for them or lose em. Such is life. Vulcan teens seem like they’d either date a lot (emotional whims) very non seriously (because they’re all betrothed) or date not at all because they’re gonna get married to their betrothed anyway. Loving someone other than your fated match is probably a pretty big trope in Vulcan romance stories...or maybe the opposite? Like someone bad tries to steal your heart but you remain resolute and return to your fated match as is logical. Anyway all this to say that I think Vulcan children and emotional control is something that’s fun to think about. Especially regarding how Vulcan children would act around adults vs other children. Vulcan child to adult: I will do my best to get along with my sibling. (2 seconds later once mother has left)  Vulcan child: You may play with the red toy. If you play with the blue toy I will harm you. Bodily. Meanwhile their older sibling is rolling their eyes like ugh....threatening violence is for babies....now to prepare for my logical and very adult duel for the love of my life whom I have known for three months. v_v

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 17: 1x23 The Omega Glory

Watched the very uneven episode “The Omega Glory” today. Upon some reflection.. I think I have seen it? But I think my last rewatch ended abruptly after “By Any Other Name” so it might have been some time ago.

Anyway, it was... something. Decent, I might even say good, until the last 10-15 minutes and then it just went off a cliff? That’s how I’d summarize it.

Sulu, my beloved. I’ve missed you.

Kirk knows where all the ships are. I mean, obviously, but I love to hear it.

Phasers on heavy stun huh?

It’s so weird to be on a different ship. That looks like the same ship. It’s so empty and haunted looking.

With creepy crystal remains of bodies everywhere.

“These white crystals... are the crew.”

Something was thirsty!! Perhaps... a water vampire? Perhaps... a former McCoy girlfriend?

(Honestly having watched the whole ep...they could have expanded this intro longer. It was creepy and mysterious. Then cut the last act.)

Oh no, they’ve been infected and now must quarantine. Sort of. I guess.

...Oh no, is this Vietnam? Again?

“Our old enemy, Vietnam.”

My mother suggested the disease might be communism and I don’t think that metaphor tracks through the whole episode but you know what.. anything’s possible.

I don’t like this whole “you can’t leave the planet or you’ll get sick and die” thing. Too familiar.

"I may never be able to leave this planet but I have a worse problem: a colleague may be breaking a rule."

Says the man who has frequently violated a directive that has never been referred to as Prime before.

Kirk is getting very mumbly. That’s his serious voice.... bu it’s also his Denny Crane voice lol.

Like bio warfare in the 90s? TOS really thought the 90s was going to be the dark ages, didn’t it?

Only 90s kids remember...

Spock bursting in with a wounded man, just bringing the drama, as he does.

He’s not even listening to McCoy. Rude.

Spock absolutely 100% would have killed Captain Tracey on instinct as soon as Kirk is threatened.

Sulu’s in command? I love Captain Sulu but where is Scotty?

Kirk is so good. Clever, strong, smart. Knows all the regulations.

Tracey’s so dumb. “They’ve eradicated disease and live for hundreds of years!” Man, have you considered that they are...aliens? And their life spans are simply.... naturally longer than human life spans? And even if you could isolate the serum, it might not work on humans?

And his master plan is to isolate their immunity and bottle it for profit. It’s our old enemy... capitalism and the exploitation of intellectual property.

A fight scene!

“The pointy-eared one stays.”

Another fight scene!

Spock is watching all of this, and you know what, I feel like he’s not upset about it. It’s just like Pre-Reform Vulcan. Perhaps some... Amok Time flashbacks? “Damn, I wish that was me.”

Peanut gallery Spock.

“I wish you could teach me that.” / “I have tried.” Omg where is my scene of Spock trying to teach Kirk the nerve pinch?

And then that look Kirk gives him.

I don’t get the point of this scene but it amuses me that as soon as McCoy sees the pretty girl, he feels better.

A post-apocalyptic alien world... a very interesting concept. Like you could do a lot with that idea imo.

“That’s our worship word [freedom too.” Umm.... questionable.

Damn bitch, that was cold. Just knocking him out like that.

Damn yankee.

...Yankee and Communist dammit.

McCoy’s not even surprised to see Kirk and Spock out of jail.

Nature created a natural counterbalance to the biological disease. Where is OUR natural counterbalance, I ask?

McCoy sounds extra Southern rn. It’s all the stress.

I really don’t think Shatner gets enough credit for his subtlety. His face when McCoy explains the whole situation...

Oh he's mad now. "You've hurt Spock for nothing! Oh yeah and also killed thousands but MOSTLY THE SPOCK THING!”

Whereas Tracey really doesn’t seem to care about anything but war for its own sake. He knows now that his master plan for immortality was nothing the whole time...but he still needs to call those Yangs.

In other words, another once-reputable figure of authority now gone mad.

Kirk’s voice is so casual when he’s talking to Uhura and Sulu, you feel like he’s gotta have something up his sleeve. He can never hide when he’s really upset about something.

...Apparently what he had up his sleeve was his crew knowing regulations and then another full body tackle. Fight scene 3!

"My need for attention is vital.” Same, Spock.

This is a very attenuated and unbelievable connection Kirk is making but he’s Kirk so I’ll assume it makes sense that he’s putting it all together so fast.

Alternate Universe: Vietnam canon-divergence lol.

For anyone keeping track, this is right about the point where the episode goes off the rails.

YOU’RE A ROMANTIC, JIM. Well he’s right about that at least and he should say it.

Oh no, an American flag.

Cloud William, chief and the son of chiefs. That’s continuity of government for you.

(Also pretty hilarious that this society is supposedly So American with our exact flag and Constitution and everything... but they’re not a democracy.)

I really don’t want to believe that “under God” is still in the pledge 200 years from now.

"You're confusing the stars with heaven." Kirk thinks he's being called an angel.

The absolute mishmash of meaningless, referent-free words here. America. Native Americans. Communists. The flag, the Constitution. God. Angels. Devils. What???

Like how can they both be flag worshippers AND...believers in God? Who is their God? Alien George Washington?

So rude to call Spock Kirk’s “servant.” That’s his space husband!

Is that a literal picture of Spock as a demon in their.. Bible?

I can’t even follow this anymore.

“You command him.” I mean...yes, that’s how the military works.

“He has no heart.” Wow, rude.

“His heart is different!” I stan one (1) Southern Doctor.

I feel like Spock is just... not having this at all. His face loos like he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Oh no is that the CONSTITUTION??!

“Kill his servant” wow Tracey is obsessed with Spock, isn’t he? I guess everyone in the Fleet knows about them and their special relationship.

Spock is even amused by the knife at his throat. His eyes say "I am distressed--but fascinated!"

A FOURTH fight scene? And here I thought Kirk was going to recite the Constitution.

“I’m open to suggestions.” He’s just as worried about Kirk as McCoy is, bu the doesn’t show it.

...Yep, he’s being telepathic again. Not really in line with his usual telepathy but okay. Alien magic is flexible.

Okay I have a JD and I can confidently say there is nothing about good defeating evil in the Constitution.

And now this alien guy is immediately ready to make himself a “slave.” That seems problematic. What happened to the holy word “Freedom”?

Wow, Kirk's in a bad mood. "You can't pronounce your own holy words worth shit."

“This is only for the eyes of a Chief,” he says and Kirk just pushes him away.

Spock literally turns Tracey around for Kirk’s big final speech like “Listen up, bitch, my boyfriend’s talking.”

Is this the 4th of July episode?? Feels like there should be canons and fireworks going off behind him rn.

Idk, the words of the Constitution can't be so unique and unprecedented if a WHOLE OTHER ALIEN CIVILIZATION just came up with them, too, on their own, like monkeys typing Hamlet. (Given the timelines here... they probably did it first too lol.)

"Liberty and freedom need to be more than just words." Like what does that even mean in this context? Sounds nice but it’s very hard to put into the context of all the rest of this.

“And uh be nice to the Kohms,” after most of them (?) were probably just killed.

I really was into this until the last 10-15 minutes and I think there were under-explored concepts that could have taken the fever dream of whatever that bizarre-o fever dream at the end was. The abandoned ship. The leftovers of bio warfare. The whole weird and under-explained concept of immunity. The tragedy that so much was destroyed,, including but not limited to the whole Exeter crew, for no reason. What happened to Tracey to so destroy him--was it just greed? What about the “Prime” Directive? Is it important or not. They just leave at the end after (as Spock pointed out) doing quite a bit of their own meddling, even though meddling is allegedly the worst. Also, we know almost nothing about the Kohms at all. The “American” society clearly wasn’t democratic. Were the Kohms literally Communist?

I’m willing to accept a certain degree of alternate Earth scenarios--like Miri (though imo that was not a necessary component of that story) or Bread and Circuses, but this was too much. TOO unbelievable. And frankly unnecessary. You could do an allegory for alternate-Vietnam, and it would be just as clear but even more effective. There wouldn’t be any distraction in the form of ���what the fuck is that flag doing here?”

There is a potentially incendiary concept here, which is the same one I thought of reading about actual COG plans--certain aspects of the Yanks’ culture survives, but with absolutely no meaning attached. They have a Constitution but they mispronounce all the words. They have this tattered flag but it has no other meaning. They’ve turned the symbols of the government into a religion, but they don’t practice any of the civil aspects of it--they have chiefs, not democratically appointed leaders, for example. Like, COG asks “what IS the country, and how do you make sure the country endures no matter what?” This was an opportunity to show the worst of that: the country continues to exist as symbology only--incredibly strong symbology, but only that--and all of the actual values that were supposed to be stored with that symbology have disappeared. Similarly, their hatred of their enemies endures. It’s lauded in the ep as their attempt to get “their land” back but what if it’s just war for its own sake, as Tracey seems to be engaging in? To tell that story, especially in the 60s, against the backdrop of Vietnam, and with the references to bio warfare and nuclear warfare, could be powerful. And I know TOS can work in metaphor and comparison. It doesn’t need to bring out a literal fucking flag.

Honestly, it was like they had one good, classic, sci fi story but it didn't fill 52 minutes so they tacked on the American Pride 4th of July Propaganda Extravaganza at the end.

It really felt like the lesson was “America good” lol.

I liked the concept of the post apocalyptic society in the aftermath of bio warfare as a cautionary tale for 1960s America, and I'd be up for crazed snake oil salesman Starfleet Captain (or...whatever his rank was) if it were a bit better explained. But the rest of it....

It also... could have been kinda incendiary with the idea that the Constitution and flag are religious symbols... I mean some people do treat them that way and I've always found that, first, blasphemous, and second, bizarre in such a hyper-Christian country. But I feel like instead of digging ito that, they just tempered it with "But also they're Christian, as you can tell by their drawing of devil!Spock, for some reason."

Idk, this story could have been complete with out the whole weird “Vietnam AU” back story or alternately it could have been a biting commentary about what defines America, and about whether or not our symbols might be more enduring--or even more important to people today??--than the laudable but more complex and difficult ideals that underpin the country’s founding. Are the words of the Constitution just gobbledy gook? They are if you don’t live by them, and America has always struggled to do that. It definitely would struggle even more in the aftermath of an apocalypse.

...I’m more annoyed now, thinking about the possible sci fi story that could have been...

Anyway next is an ep I’m fairly sure I haven’t  seen, so that should be fun.

[suedescripture]

Words on Weds

I wrote more on this yesterday than I have on anything in months. Epic Spirk Survival fic, or Suede’s thing with scruffy bum Chris Pine Kirk and long haired Spock.

“How long have we been here?”

“In Standard time, ten months, three weeks, six days and fourteen hours. Planetary calculations differ slightly.”

Jim pulled the front of his bangs down to see that they now stretched past the end of his chin, fried from the sun on the ends and even longer and more annoying in the back as it stuck to his sweaty neck. A slight natural wave made it unruly as hell. He’d taken to tying a cord around his whole head like a headband to keep it out of his face. His beard was brushy, badly shortened where he’d grabbed tufts and sawed them off with his knife about an inch from his jaw. In the heat of the dry season, he longed for a sonic razor, smooth-chinned in a matter of seconds. He didn’t trust himself to shave the way Spock did each morning, with a viciously sharp flake of obsidian, nearly transparent and even sharper than their fleet issue knives. It could sink deep into flesh so easily he wouldn’t even feel it.

Sometimes he imagined he looked like the lifelong surfers in the secluded inlets around the San Francisco Bay, the ones who lived and died by when the swells were up, all sun-bleached and tanned and groovy. Other times, if he managed to catch his reflection in a still pool, he looked more like what he was, a skinny left-behind wild man stranded on Planet Bumfuck, Ass-end of Beta Quad, rescue unlikely.

By contrast, Spock’s hair was well past his shoulders already, straight as a ruler and so dark it shone almost purple in the late evening light of Luna Rosita. He sometimes braided it back, intricate twists like the baskets and cords he wove, but strands of it would inevitably work free, falling like streams of water over the strong features of his face. When it was loose, it would fall down over his shoulder blades, rarely tangling as each hair was so smooth it slipped easily free with a little combing of his fingers. His wiry frame was still Vulcan pale and all hard muscle, obvious when he was hauling logs up the hill to be chopped, shirtless and perfectly comfortable in the boiling temperature. Jim imagined this was how Pre-Reform Vulcans had looked once, long-haired, fierce and built like a brick shithouse. Spock was far from uncontrolled, of course; he meditated every day, moved and thought and spoke with his usual precision, but Jim had noticed a marked looseness in his stride, a significant uptick in those small facial expressions and instances of noticeable emotional tones.

For the most part, he attributed his interest in the fact that Spock was literally the only other person on this stupid planet to look at. Here, there wasn’t a lot else to occupy himself. It had been nearly a year, for fuck’s sake. Almost anything would look good.

Not that he hadn’t thought about Spock before. Ages before, when they’d first sized each other up in that fateful academic hearing, he’d thought that if Spock didn’t have such a giant stick up his ass, he might be kind of attractive. Hell, he’d wondered what it would take to loosen the guy up, and if that might be part of the fun.

But then he’d been given a ship and all the responsibility that came with it, and everything got a lot more serious. He’d seen his best friends settle down. He’d seen Bones and Carol spend a decent year together before she’d accepted a promotion to be Head Science Officer on the USS Valiant—Bones took it hard, the big softie. He’d officiated Hikaru and Ben’s wedding, and thrown them a hell of a party. And Spock and Uhura had seemed happy for years, right up until they apparently weren’t.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

For the headcanon meme Uhura?

For THIS headcanon meme!  (You thought you were free.  You were wrong.)  I’m kind of picturing AOS because that’s what I watched most recently with Uhura.

A: what I think realistically

Nyota Uhura grows up speaking threelanguages fluently—English and Swahili, because her family speaks both, and aGerman dialect, because her cousin’s husband speaks Swahili like athree-year-old and doesn’t seem to be getting better at it.  He dotes on Nyota, calls her little star and swings her up onto hisshoulders to ‘scare’ his wife and Nyota’s mothers as a monster with two heads,and he thinks it’s the greatest thing in history when she starts translatingfor him.  She’s six years old when shegoes to a museum and meets the curator, who is a Vulcan woman of superlativebrilliance.  The woman greets her familywith a formal Vulcan phrase and is visibly taken aback—something of anaccomplishment—when Nyota carefully, cautiously sounds out in imitation, tonk’peh, dif-tor heh smusma.

“Very good,” the Vulcan woman says inEnglish, arching an eyebrow.  “But thecorrect response is sochya eh dif.”  Nyota parrots it back, and the Vulcan womanoffers her a salute.  Nyota comes backthe very next day and plunks herself expectantly in front of the woman’s door,and more or less bothers the woman into agreeing to teach her the language.

Nyota, talking to her teacher, learnsabout Star Fleet, where she can learnevery language in the galaxy (“that is quite impossible–”  “EVERY language in the galaxy,” Nyotainsists) and spend her entire life speaking them as a job.  She never looks awayfrom the stars again, and she remains in touch with her teacher, until finallyit’s Nyota who offers the lessons, in the grammar of Russian and the guttural tonesof Klingon.

Nyota’s teacher, very formal at alltimes, is the one who begins calling her ‘Uhura.’  Nyota knows that her name means star, but to her, Uhura means linguist andshe holds it tight with both hands.

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Uhura and Jim are actually great friendsby the end of the Enterprise’s firstyear, once he feels less like he has to prove himself at all times and once shegets past some of her ingrained horror about his casual disregard for the ruleswhen he thinks it’s necessary.  (Thefirst time Uhura sees herself observe a rule and then toss it aside because,well, this is more important, she has this moment of total exasperation because He Has Infected Her.)  Jim speaks not a few languages himself, andmore to the point he’s actually not the trash can she assumed him to be.  He doesn’t harass his subordinates, he wouldclearly die for any of them, and even though at first she’s convinced he’sgoing to drink on the job and sleep with everyone on the ship, there’s no signof it.  He drinks sometimes with the restof the alpha shift command crew, but never to excess, and she’s pretty sure Jimwould rather take a phaser shot to the chest than risk his crew by sleepingaround—it’s like command has turned him into a real person rather than the caricaturehe worked so hard to project and goddamnit she likes that person.  No one ismore shocked and aggrieved than Uhura herself.

Uhura is also rational enough to date aVulcan, so after two months she huffs out a breath and plops her tray down athis table during breakfast (Jim eats in the mess hall with the crew, ratherthan a private mess, because he likes to knowhis people, damn him).  She has the samestubborn look in her eye that once strongarmed a Vulcan into agreeing to teachher language to a small human child.

“Um,” Jim says, wary, “hey, Uhura.”

“You’re going to stop hitting on me,”she tells him, pointing at him sternly with her fork, “and I’m going to stoptreating you like an asshole, and then we’re going to be friends.”

Jim stares at her.  “Okay?”

“So,” she says, lowering her fork togesture at his PADD, “what are you reading?” He tells her, seemingly too bemused to do anything else, and shescoffs.  “Please.  If you want the really weird Vulcanliterature, I can hook you up.  Youhaven’t lived until you’ve read some of the Pre-Reform homoerotic star-crossedlovers nonsense I read during my tutorial on the Pre-Reform dialect.”

Jim laughs until he’s wheezing andflushed, clutching the edge of the table as the mess hall looks at him in mildalarm and Uhura smirks in satisfaction.

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Uhura never becomes a captain, althoughinnumerable promotions are offered to her. She loves her languages too much. She believes, after seeing Kirk and Sulu and even sweet Chekov taken bytheir ships and never return, that this is the reason she and Spock end up asthe last living members of that first bridge crew.

She kind of wishes, sitting at themonument to James Tiberius Kirk and thinking about how he would have hatedhaving his middle name on the thing, that she had taken the captaincy.

D:  what would never work with canon but the canon isshit so I believe it anyway

LET!  NYOTA! UHURA!  HAVE!  A! BIG!  FAMILY!

Listen Iliterally could not care less about what canon says, Nyota has like threesiblings and a bunch of cousins and her grandmother and her two moms and heraunts and uncles and they all adore each other to little bits and pieces.  

Nyota’s sister is dying to know about Spock from the first moment she hears abouthim, and the poor guy is totally overwhelmed the first time Nyota brings himhome to celebrate [insert slightly ridiculous reason that the family came upwith on the spot because Nyota was on Earth and they were excited].  They immediately adopt Spock, he’s reallykind of alarmed about it.  

Nyota bringsJim to meet her family one time too (and McCoy because his wife has his kidcurrently) when it’s his birthday and he just desperately does not want to deal with Star Fleet and the Kelvinand the whole hero thing, and they all love him too.  

Basically give me Nyota Uhura who travels thestars because she loves them too much to stay on the ground, but who has very real ties to Earth because those are her people.  She’s met bythe quintessential embarrassing family whenever they make earthfall.  Her cousin (the one who still sucks at Swahili) has a sign. Her sister and her twin brothers have a banner.  She’s going tomurder them all but also she can’t stop grinning.

[necrofuturism]

re: my romulan surak thing

my headcanon for that is literally this: 

angry buff romulan dude writes copious amounts of scrolls that are literally a callout for the entire vulcan people to calm the fuck down and stop fighting and leave romulans alone

vulcans find the scrolls in a dying surak’s hands, because he and a pacifist faction of anti-schism romulans refused to leave their homeworld

vulcans listen desperately to a dying surak, take his teachings to heart, reform their entire culture, yet somehow forget the fact that he was romulan because only vulcans know emotional temperance and logic

surak’s original intent was never to deny emotion completely via methods like kolinahr - he only wanted people to regard emotion secondary to logic when it came to the treatment of others in the context of the chaotic era he lived in, aka what we currently know as the “pre-surakian” era (when vulcans more closely resembled klingons, kazons, and nausicaans oh my)

he just wanted people to put volatile, angry emotion aside when interpersonal matters were at hand and the early vulcans around him misinterpreted that as an all emotions-or-no emotions sorta thing and spread it around before he could clarify in his old age and fuckin died

so while the surakian teachings of temperance and letting multiple ideologies and peoples exist at once is definitely true to form, the emotion thing is not, and also other things are very much disputable

and he was very much romulan, embodying the true romulan ideal of diplomacy (yet another thing that has been twisted into something unrecognizable)

nevertheless

he probably powers vulcan’s magnetosphere with how much he’s rolling in his grave rn

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 29: 1x04 The Naked Time

Heeey who’s ready for me to talk about The Naked Time??

First of all this is one of the best episodes ever so jot that down. Absolutely wild from beginning to end.

For example, here to observe the disintegration of a planet is a cool mission.

“Oh no, someone has strangled this mannequin.”

It says something good about the Enterprise crew that they were weird and silly and horny and artistic but the most violent thing they did was slap each other a little and play with swords and butter knives.

This science guy is SUCH a dumbass. Why does he think he’s even wearing gloves??

I love how Kirk always turns on the charm, just a little bit, when he’s being reassuring.

Joe’s story line here is LITERALLY ST: Beyond but better.

Chapel’s first appearance!

“Instruments only measure what they were designed to measure. Space still contains infinite unknowns.” I actually think about this a lot.

Are all games 3D in the future?

3d fencing

RILEY

Everyone looking fine in this ep. Sulu. Spock in his t-shirt.

Sulu trying to get his friends into his hobby of the week.

The fear they have over this butter knife is... interesting lol. Were they not allowed to show a real knife on NBC?

Kirk’s Captain’s Log: “Little did we know...” When is he writing this? Is he making it as dramatic as possible on purpose?

Does Kirk have to do EVERYTHING himself? His crew just keep wandering off or passing out all over the place.

Loooollll Sulu being so sneaky as he leaves the bridge.

“I want the impossible checked out too.” I love him your honor.

Is there another crewman named Rand here?

I love Riley. This is how I’m going to open automatic doors now: blowing at them, dramatic hand gestures.

Spock knows so much about everyone. You know he’s a major gossip. That’s why his brows are so thick. They’re full of secrets.

Outta the chair. Now back in the chair.

SULU.

Honestly living for the way Uhura says “Sorry, neither” to “Fair maiden.”

Spock knows his Muskateers.

First Vulcan nerve pinch. Kirk wants to learn.

I am CACKLING over Riley. This never stops being the most hilarious thing. It also seems like it’s way too easy to take over the entirety of the ship lol. Maybe Riley’s just very smart--how he came to be a captain so young and all.

I love Kirk’s expression every time Riley calls himself captain. He does NOT like tom foolery.

I’VE WATCHED THEM FADE AWAY AND DIE.

Spock imposes social distancing, but the virus continues to spread.

Does the Enterprise actually have a bowling alley or is Riley making shit up? Someone needs to write the fic of the fancy dress dance in the bowling alley.

ONE MORE TIME.

What does Kirk need to sign right now? What paperwork is so important that he has to fill it in before they all die a terrible death in 20 minutes?

Love mankind!!

Spock rolling his eyes at Christine’s pre-reform Vulcan kink. Why is everyone so into that lol? She’s only been on the show for 20 minutes and she’s declaring her love, like this went 0 to 100 real fast. And she has a fiance too!

She sure is touching his hands a lot. I have to assume she doesn’t know about the Vulcan hand sensitivity thing because I doubt that’s even part of canon yet but this is also airdate order so who knows. (I have a different take on that than most people anyway.)

I feel like the sickness hit Spock really fast. Is it because he has so many emotions?

Kirk just throwing Riley around.

Oh those pesky laws of physics.

I’m sure I’ve said this before but I find it really interesting that Spock doesn’t tell himself anything about being a Vulcan when he’s holding back emotions. He does math, and he reminds himself that he’s an officer.

My duty is to my mom!

Kirk is so fucking smart. I just honestly don’t even know what to do with people who don’t like Kirk. He knows all about physics, he can run his whole ship, he’s keeping his cool in this insane situation (mostly--and apologizes when he doesn’t btw) but anyway the point is his knowledge of highly theoretical physics is a huge turn on.

“Everyone’s drunk on water” is such a weird explanation. Also none of them seem drunk to me.

This Kirk and Spock scene is one of the best in the whole show. Kirk just keeps slapping him even though Spock’s so much stronger. Spock’s feelings about being Vulcan and human and Kirk’s feelings about command. That real Vulcan hand sensitivity there.

Eta how could I forget JIM WHEN I FEEL FRIENDSHIP FOR YOU I FEEL ASHAMED. Best use of Jim so far.

How Kirk starts talking about women and Spock is IMMEDIATELY ready to do math lol. Did he ever even get the cure? Or did he just get over it?

A BEACH TO WALK ON. Such a romantic little nerd.

SINNER REPENT.

The ease with which McCoy rips his shirt is so hilarious to me.

Still obsessed with that beach I see... Every attempt to make Kirk/Rand a thing is always so flippin weird so I’m just ignoring that and focusing on romantic!Kirk.

This ep is so next level. Like don’t mind us we’re just going to INVENT TIME TRAVEL in the last 4 minutes of the ep nbd.

If REAL Star Trek nerds had written the movies they would have used this. Like Spock literally invents a new time travel method and then forgets about it? Unrealistic. Listen to him here, he wants to try it again.

I know Shatner can be dramatic as all hell but he CAN be subtle, too; look at that sequence when Spock tells them they’re living the last 3 days again.

It occurs to me that we all write Sulu as if he were obsessed with botany and swords but what if he’s really that guy who just has a NEW random obsession every week? I feel like that’s what Riley’s line implies.

I understand why Kirk had a freak out about his command specifically, since he’s spent the whole episode facing death down pretty directly, while having to do literally everything himself, because everyone on his crew is loopy and useless except Uhura, Scotty, and McCoy.

Because of the air date order, and because I’ve been deep in a Mitchell/Kirk wormhole recently, when he started talking about everything the Enterprise had taken from him, I actually thought of Mitchell first.

Anyway that was gold your fave could never goodnight.