#praying for material things is not prayer
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marionluth · 3 days ago
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Writing a new thing. Big thing. I'm so excited for this story and so worried I might fuck it up, but having a blast working on it. Still at the very beginning but thought I'd share an excerpt 😃👇
The room stood still in its darkness as Tim stood tall beneath the towering shadows of the statues. He held his bruised chin high, his busted lips pursed in a taut line, eyes following the hazy outlines of sloppily scribbled words on the wall above him. Above him. How very appropriate. He gripped the camera that hung from his neck with his right hand—his left throbbed too much to bear the weight of his beloved Canon—and raised it to his face, wincing as he closed his swollen left eye and squinted through the bruised slits of his right.
The hard plastic of the camera pressed against his broken nose, but he pushed the discomfort aside and steadied himself, drawing in a deep breath. He centered the frame with a slight tilt of the camera, always focused on the wall, on the words. Leaning just enough to the right, he captured a delicious shadow for dramatic effect. The click and flash of light shattered the quiet, shattered the darkness, shattered the stillness—like those hauntingly red words had seemingly shattered everything around and inside Tim.
Jason Todd was here.
He lowered his camera and glanced at the screen, nodding in approval. A solid shot of a night to remember. It would make a hell of an Instagram post, too. Hashtag ‘about last night’. Hashtag ‘vigilante problems’. Hashtag ‘my Robin is better than yours’. But with secret identities and all, he’d have to settle for nobody else appreciating its beauty. Maybe he’d at least frame it and hang it on his wall. After all, why the hell wouldn’t he want to preserve the memory—immortalize the moment— he’d taken a hardcore beating from the predecessor of his vigilante mantle, who just so happened to be the resurrected son of his mentor and boss, the very same vigilante Tim had been babysitting for three years now? Seriously, this was top-notch material. Stories for the grandkids.
Light illuminated the room, and Tim didn’t have to turn around to know who stood behind him. He kept looking at Jason’s poor excuse for graffiti and prayed to all gods and deities that Dick’s big-brotherly overbeariness would somehow malfunction and leave him alone without attempting to drag him into one of his beloved angsty talk fests.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Dick asked, and Tim resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how pointless and ridiculous the question was, while vowing to figure out contingencies for all the deities known to man just to ensure they took his prayers seriously. Jerks.
“You know how it goes… Sleep’s for the weak, Red Bull’s for the freak,” Tim replied casually.
“We’ve ramped up the security, Tim. You’re safe, and you need to r—”
“That’s why you think I’m up? That I’m afraid he’ll come over again for another round?” Tim scoffed, shaking his head.
“Then what’s going on? Why are you just standing here, staring at that?” Dick asked, nodding toward the wall art. “Just so you know, we’re going to have it painted over soon, alright?”
“No, you won’t,” Tim snapped, leveling a glare at Dick. “You’ll never touch that. It’s staying right where it is—where it belongs.” Dick stared at him, the classic ‘oh-god-he-has-a-concussion’ look plastered on his face, and Tim felt his annoyance grow. At Dick, at Jason freaking Todd, at himself.
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sheilamurrey · 2 months ago
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true prayer
Silver Birch was a spirit guide who spoke through Maurice Barbanelltrue prayer
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daisies-on-a-cup · 11 months ago
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i think god listens to children more often than adults, but also that god only really gives children what they pray for when what they're praying for is something like a second chance
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keow · 1 year ago
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It’s funny how God will tell you not to do something that you know would be effective in solving your problem, yet He refuses to help you when you pray for the problem to be resolved. What do You want from me…
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hellenicrisis · 6 months ago
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PSA to pagans and practitioners.
You don't have to speak your prayers or incantations out loud for a ritual or offering to be effective.
For the longest time, I tried praying out loud and speaking out loud during ritual offerings, and I was always uncomfortable. I tried everything, from using the ancient hymns, to writing my own prayers, even combining the two. Nothing worked for me, but I kept doing it because I thought that's just how things are done.
A ritual, prayer or offering is not less effective or special if you don't speak aloud. Not speaking is not an easy way out, it's not disrespectful to the gods, and it's not making the working less powerful. The thing that negatively impacts your practice is being uncomfortable.
If you work better silent, embrace it. It took me far too long to realise that working quietly is best for me. I'll put on some instrumental music in the background while doing my ritual offerings which helps me focus, and other than that, I enjoy listening to the sounds my materials make; the bay leaf crackling, the libation being poured, the sounds of setting things down on the altar. If I have to speak through that I feel distracted and nervous about forgetting what I'm supposed to say. I would much rather focus on my actions, my materials, my offerings, my energy, and my gods.
If you speak aloud and it works for you, fantastic! However, don't feel pressured to if you don't like it. We see so many people put on a show during rituals for social media. Don't think all rituals have to be like that.
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cillivnz · 1 year ago
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𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑨𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻
[𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪]
PAIRING — PRIEST!NANAMI KENTO x NUN!READER
SYNOPSIS — you shift across continents hoping to leave all behind that drifted you apart from the Lord, only to catch the sole reason of your departure waiting for you patiently, with a rosary in one hand and his cock in the other.
WORD COUNT — 2878
WARNINGS — NSFW. MODERN AU. OOC!KENTO (kinda). RELIGIOUS IMAGERY, THEMES & RELIGION IN GENERAL. BLASPHEMY, sacrilege, impure thoughts, cursing, sins & sinning, sex in a church, indecent use of the confessional, DUBCON. oral (m! receiving), fingering, clit-play, biting, nipple/breast-play, unprotected and penetrative sex (p! in v!), overstimulation, against a wall (?), voyeurism, degrading. NANAMI HAS A GOD COMPLEX. there is repetitive mentions of religious themes throughout the smut, from praying to other things.
A/N — GOOD GOD. i’m asking you all for forgiveness, but i needed to do this. i intended it for leon kennedy but something in me snapped and i changed it to a nanami kento fiction, WHICH IS WHY THERE IS MENTION OF A CHRIS REDFIELD, i was too lazy to change it and also i didn’t want to incorporate too much from the JJKverse, so we’ll just leave Redfield at that.
i am NOT anti-religion, this is a common fantasy and i just wished to try my hand at this sinister trope. please refer to the warnings and DO NOT PROCEED if anything mentioned makes you uncomfortable. apologies in advance for any inaccurate detail written. not proofread.
art credits — unknown [pinterest]
LISTENING TO: ‘THE SACRAMENT’ — HIM
[therefore the title].
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𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍’𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘, but you knew the Lord only wanted what was best for you, and so a new chapter in your life had begun.
A woman above materialism, you leave with only your bible and habit, but of course, you carried the last memory of your past life��� a photograph your Sisters took of you and Father Redfield from your hometown, the church you had sworn celibacy to, near the Arklay Mountains.
You loved Chris— Father Redfield, the way you’d love the angels of the almighty, but at times this love prevented you from preaching, causing you to often ponder on your style of living, and the fact that doubt settled in your god-driven mind became the primary reason why you decided to move away, all the way to Tokyo.
Your feelings for Father Redfield made you question your vows to chastity, and you knew at once you needed to get away. So, you left the mountainous foliage at once and settled for the noisy city.
Upon arriving, you were welcomed by a ‘Sister Nobara”, with a soft face and piercing gaze, but none that lingered.
She walked you through the large and lonely halls of the massive church. The infrastructure of your hometown’s place of worship couldn’t compare to Tokyo’s, perhaps the difference in population was the reason why.
Throughout the walk to the nave, you felt an ominous sense of being watched— no, preyed upon, but you and your naïveté blamed it on your nerves. It worsened while you said your prayers, seeking forgiveness for the note on which you left: that doubt and urgency to succumb to hellish pleasures with the priest that couldn’t even reciprocate a smile back to you.
“Ah, there comes Father Kento,” Sister Nobara interrupted the last of your calls to the Lord, the one where you beseeched to attain enough strength to never succumb to lust. You quickly muttered a, “Amen”, and turned to Nobara. You looked at her for a brief moment, before your gaze followed hers and landed on the most devilishly handsome man you had ever seen.
Hell, you had to leave your home over a man who, now, you realise, isn’t even half as attractive as the man towering over you.
You backed away when the sudden proximity hit you, your subconscious mind immediately associating that eerie feeling in your gut with the presence of this man.
“Hello,” his deep voice broke the silence. “Greetings, Father,” you quickly averted your lingering stare onto the wooden floor. There was a stroke of amusement tainted in his tone, “Sister Nobara tells me you come from the Arklay Mountains.”
“She’s right,” you confirmed, still not eyeing him.
He nodded along, eyes still etched on your face.
“Father, if you could excuse me.” Sister Nobara suddenly spoke, causing you to look up at the departing woman. A “But—” was all you could mutter, before Kento put two-and-two-together and figured you sought out your quarters. “I don’t mind showing you around.”
“If it’s not too much trouble, Father.” You laughed, nervously, obvious to the subtle but definite bite of the Priest’s lower lip at the sound.
“No problem, follow me.”
The walk wasn’t as bad as you’d thought it to be; it was worse.
You couldn’t help but glance repeatedly at the seemingly older, definitely taller and the most handsome man you had ever dreamt of, and the fact that he hadn’t turned to look at you, nonetheless utter a single word, aggravated you.
He gracefully halted, and you knew you’d reached your quarters.
“There we are,” he announced, opening the door to let you in before him.
“It’s not much but—”
“It’s perfect.” You interrupted him with a warm smile, genuinely pleased with where you were to be stationed. Father Kento seemed pleased with your response, the small smile that broke out gave it away.
You instantly got to settling in, not that you had many things to place. Just your clothes, holy books and—
“Who is that?” Asked Father Kento the minute your hand reached for the framed memory.
“Father Redfield from the Arklay Church.” You spoke in monotone.
“Is he why you left?”
You didn’t have to answer.
The way you clutched the photograph tighter gave Nanami Kento all the answers he needed.
“Confessional is always open.”
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“𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍.” The words rang in your ears, floating in the whirlpool of your disturbed mind throughout supper, and the fact that Father Kento was nowhere in sight was no solace. You decided to say, “Fuck it,” in a god-abiding way, and made your way over to the said confessional.
You step inside the wooden booth, steadying your breath you heard movement on the other side.
“Good evening, Sister.”
“I’m glad you obeyed me.” He said, seemingly in nonchalance, but you could picture a cocky smirk on his handsome face.
“Yes, father,” was all you could muster up.
“Tell me what’s on your mind.” He said so casually, yet compelling enough to get you to open up.
“You were right, Father Kento,” you sighed.
“It’s Chris—Father Redfield.”
“He’s, uh, the reason why I left.”
“Why would a man of the Lord drive you to that limit, Sister?” You heard that raspy voice of Father Kento’s inquire.
All you could muster up was a sigh. Talking about your feelings was something you’ve always struggled with, never there being a crucial need to do so, to redeem, like tonight.
“Because I would find myself thinking about him.”
“In what way?” Father Kento asked almost immediately, not wasting a breath.
“In impurity, lust, and love.”
The sigh on the other wooden end of the booth was almost unheard by you. “Describe them.” Father Kento broke the silence after a moment of halting. “W-what?”
“Describe your thoughts. What did you want to do with him?” You heard fiddling, but chose to ignore it.
“I would— would think about him and I, romantically. If and how things would’ve been different had we not chosen this life. Then, it was natural for excitement to settle in when he’d gently brush past me,” you oddly found yourself at ease, tranquil and nostalgic as you reminisce over the past.
“What about lust?” He interrupted in a tight voice.
“Uh,”
“I thought of his large, aged and veiny hands: grabbin—grabbing me, groping my… breasts…”
The ruffling on the other side silenced you, and when Father Kento noticed, he spoke in a stern tone, “Sister,”
“I need you to let it all out.”
So, you took a deep breath, and did exactly that.
You tell the priest how badly you’d grown accustomed to that ache between your thighs, how damp you would feel while merely observing the older man casually interact with the churchgoers; the tinge of bitterness that coursed through your veins, replacing the electricity that he’d often ignite, but now that you see him caressing the arm of another woman, much like the way he’d do to you, you’d find yourself unravelled in the sin of envy.
“I would find myself wanting to start a family with Father Redfield— by any means necessary. I would’ve wanted nothing more than to feel him inside me, carry his load inside me each night, sleeping in the warmth of his arms while his cum leaks out of me, still puffy and sore but in the need of more—”
You heard him groan.
He fucking groaned.
Your sinful ramblings would’ve persisted had the feeling in your gut not begged for you to shut the fuck up that very instance.
“Tell me, Sister,”
“Was it Father Redfield you felt such vulgarity for, or perhaps, just the thought of a superior— One with the Lord— indulging in you?”
You were speechless. Surely there was no insinuation in his sultry tone, right?
“I— I don’t know, Father.” You cleared your throat, thighs involuntarily rubbing together. You raised your palm to bite the back of it, softly, but enough to distract you. A habit you thought you had rid yourself of, but it still lingers.
“Oh, I think you do.”
Before you could deny the blatant accusation, your eyes land on Father Kento through the open wooden network.
You had now realised that this was the first time throughout your confession that you looked up— at him, and the sight awaiting you had caused you to clutch your rosary and gasp the first profanities you’ve dared to say in decades.
Father Kento sat on a ruby, velvet sofa, while his robe lifted up to his stomach. The first thing your eyes trail to is the smug, sinister look on his face, his slicked-back, disheveled hair, his glimmering eyes and pink lips. Then, his broad neck lacking the amice that is supposed to adorn it. Between his thick thighs, stood tall and angry the most vicious thing you’ve seen.
What made it worse was that he had a hand wrapped around the leaking tip, and in that very hand, was his rosary.
“Like what you see, Sister?” He called you out, and you immediately averted your gaze.
You looked to the ceiling, folding your hands and dropping to your knees.
“No, none of that.” Father Kento ‘tsk’ed at the sound of your prayers, making his way over to your side of the confessional.
“As pretty as you look while begging for mercy,”
“ 𝑰 ’𝑴 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑫 𝑵𝑶𝑾. ”
He grabbed ahold of your joined hands, opening them just enough to wrap them around the girth of his cock.
“Pray,” he said, squeezing your cheeks together. When your mouth forcefully opened, he shoved his tip past your plump lips, and you instinctively allowed more inside.
“Good girl.” He groaned, motioning your hands back in forth on his cum-slick cock.
Blasphemy coursed through your blood and all thoughts and prayers left your mind, and you twirled your tongue around his cruel tip.
He growled, “You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” pushing back your veil and bandeau to let your hair out and grip it.
“Oh, you have no idea what a punishment the past few hours had been,”
“I’d been doing so good. ‘So good,” his voice was weak yet hoarse; he damn near lost his mind when he hit the back of your throat, biting back a whimper.
“I was on the path to salvation, but you,”
“You just had to show up and send me spiralling to hell.”
He plunged into your tight throat one last time, savouring the sight of your hollowed cheeks and plump lips wrapped around his shaft. You bat your long, thick lashes at him and his heart skips a beat when he looks into those doe eyes of yours.
“Get up,” he yanks you up by the arm.
“Strip.”
You were hesitant while bidding farewell to your attire, but there was unknown fervency in your movements.
Once bare, you couldn’t even look him in the eye.
“This is so wrong—”
“—But do you want it?” He asked, his was was stern and soft, his recollected breath made his velvety voice return.
“More than anything I’ve ever known.” You answered in all honesty; only truth came out of you in the home of the Lord.
There was a soft smirk on Father Kento’s face that widened into a genuine smile upon hearing your words. “Come here, then.” He motioned for you close the eternal gap between the two of you, and you nearly leaped into his arms, the distance growing unbearable.
Kissing you, tasting himself on you, Father Kento spoke in between kisses, “I don’t want a fucking word out of you, okay? You’re going to take cock quietly.”
“We want this to stay between us and God, yeah?”
You nodded, letting him corner you against the wooden box.
His eyes darted up to yours and then trailed down to your body. His frustration aggravated at the sight of you, and the fact that you’re the Lord— his master’s forbidden fruit heightens his senses with carnal instincts, making the Goddess in front of him even more insatiable.
“You know I’d have taken my time with you, right?” He nods, enchanting your dumb and dazed state to follow him.
“But you understand how badly I need to be inside you?” You nod, you need it, too.
“And you’ve sworn in celibacy?” He quirks an eyebrow, but the minute you felt the slightest touch of his fingertips along your velvety folds, you forgot all your vows at once.
“Answer me.” His voice carried a trace of humour, but stoic nonetheless, finding your clit and pressing his thumb onto it.
“Y-yes. Yes.” You bit down on your lip and the priest nearly lost it then and there. His free hand meets your face and tucks the pillowy lip out of your teeth’s grasp, stroking it back and forth.
His hand left your cunt, earning pathetic whimpers from you. It went back to his cock, jerking it a few times, leaving you mesmerised, before he gathered the slick that leaked out of the tip and smeared it onto your pussy.
“Prepping you.” He simply grunted, easing one finger into your tight hole. Your walls show hospitality and gladly accept the digit curling inside them.
You were a virgin, but masturbation wasn’t foreign to you.
“More,” you ached, and he obliged.
By the end of your aching heat, you had (barely) accustomed two of his long, slender yet thick fingers. The fervent circles of his thumb on your clit were torturous.
On the brink of your orgasm, spiralling into ecstasy, Father Kento pulled you out. Like a sinister saviour, he pulled you out of enlightenment.
“No! Please— Why?” You blabbered bullshit, too fucked out to care about anything but release.
“I told you I need to be inside you.” His voice was hoarse, the lust evident in his tone.
Watching you right on the edge of unravelling had him throbbing and twitching.
“I need to feel that tight cunt.” He was damn near hyperventilating. “Baby, I’ll go crazy.” He chokes out a sob when you grab his cock by the angry tip and align it with your hole.
He smiled at you, causing you to clench.
How was this blonde bastard so handsome?
Lifting you up with sheer ease, he let your legs wrap around his waist, your arms crossing over his neck, and his dick plunging into you, inch by inch.
You thanked God the tiny booth was tall, so you had enough space to let your head fall back without it touching the ceiling, courtesy of the man balls deep inside you, standing at 6’0.
The snug fit knocked the air out of both of you. Tears ran down your flushed cheeks like a hot spring, the passion with which he embraced you, devouring your warmth against the cold wood set every cell in your body ablaze.
“You’re so fucking— tight. ‘Hot, tight pussy squeezing so nicely around my cock.” Father Kento began pounding into you. Your legs had began to tremble already, but your vicelike grip on his waist and broad shoulders didn’t falter.
His fat cock fucked into you with desperation, the carnality of being wanted so much, so sinisterly by a man who had sworn chastity makes your soul quiver.
You’ll need to make one hell of an apology to the Lord.
As if reading your mind, the blonde priest spoke in a hoarse voice, “Pray.”
“For your sake and mine, you better fucking pray.”
So, you join your hands and close your eyes, bring Father Kento’s face closer to your chest. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feel of your soft breasts embracing his face like the pillowy clouds of heaven he’d never see.
With every thrust, your would slide up the wall, cunt gushing along his length. You said your prayers silently but couldn’t help letting out wanton cries when the tip of his cock would hit a certain spot inside you, and hit it repeatedly.
You were too far gone to hear him say, “Put it in my mouth,” not knowing what he referred to, until he hit the flesh right above your breast. You struggled to let go of his neck, but grabbed the supple flesh and lead it to his ravenous mouth, like a lamb being led to slaughter.
His hot mouth on your nipple; tugging, licking, circling, and nibbling. His cock inside you, fucking you at godspeed. Two of his fingers on your clit, rubbing maniacally; all had you coming undone in seconds.
“Oh, Kento!” You moaned pornographically, driving him to the point of release and insanity when the rhythmic contractions of your cunt pulsated around his twitching cock, and in mere seconds, Father Kento buried his seed deep inside you.
“Good god.” He groaned, parting with your nipple with a ‘pop’ and overstimulating you with slow, deep thrusts; his fingers never once leaving your clit.
“That—”
“—Needs another confession altogether.”
And so every night you’d find yourself cornered up in the confessional, apologising for same mistake you’ve been making every night, with the man whose forgiveness you beg for, on your knees, and repentance he delivers with a rosary in one hand and his cock in the other.
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chxrrysangel · 1 year ago
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What Best Friends Do
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Pairing | perv!eddie x best friend!reader
Warnings | MDNI 18+, porn with plot, Eddie is a such a perv(only for reader tho, he has some morals), he stares A LOT, meddling friends, guided masturbation (f), cumming together, dry humping, eddie cums in his pants, Eddie basically has an innocence kink
Words | 1,895
Summary | Forced to be gentlemanly with pussy on his mind, Eddie spends the night with his best friend for “the sake of safety”. A best friend with the shortest skirt and cutest pout he’s ever seen. Can he keep it together?
Technically Part Two
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Eddie didn’t think this through. At all. 
When Steve suggested taking everyone home in one trip, a resounding yes erupted from the group. The only problem was that there weren’t enough seats. Neither of you thought it was a massive deal at the time, it was only a 30-minute car ride. That was roughly 5 Metallica songs, 3 random brought-up topics between the 6 of you, and maybe 10 stoplights throughout Hawkins. 
Everyone piled into the car as Robin called shotgun, while Nancy, Jonathan, and Eddie took the backseat. Hand in yours, your best friend helped you onto his lap for a less-than-comfortable ride home. But you would survive, it was just Eddie after all. The second your ass met his front, he regretted the entire thing. Every single pothole or speed bump pressed your body closer to his, and it was hell. 
Eddie prayed to every god he could think of, hoping that Ozzy and Kirk could hear his pleas somehow. He tried to think of anything to stop his dick from pressing farther into your ass, but not even the image of his nana naked could make the smell of your perfume turn him on less. You could feel him, he was sure of it. And you were too innocent to not realize that every time you rubbed up against him made it worse. A particular “break test”, as Steve liked to call them, had Eddie’s arm wrapping around your waist, pushing your bodies so close together he had to bite his tongue to swallow his moans. If he was any more pathetic, he might’ve cum in his jeans. 
So he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the heartbeat of your pussy against his crotch. Someone must’ve answered his prayers, because the next thing he knew Steve was triple honking to signal a house stop. Luckily enough, it was yours. Eddie braced your body as the car door opened, stopping you from falling. You thanked him, no matter how many times he said it was no trouble. Before anyone could say their goodbyes, Steve perked up to share an idea. 
“Are your parents home?”
You told him no, and that they wouldn’t be back until much later in the night. 
“Munson, haul ass and stay with 'em.”
The two boys made eye contact in Steve’s dashboard mirror, a silent war that you couldn’t decipher. Eddie turned towards the others to beg for help, all feigning innocence and ignoring his silent plea. Right now he was rock hard, and Steve was ruining his chance to go home and jerk off until he got friction burn. But then he turned to see your patient gaze as you waited for their decision, and just melted. 
Fuck. 
Sighing, Eddie climbed out of the car in defeat. He waited until you began walking to your front door to scold the rest of the car. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he angry-whispered. 
“I don't know what you’re talking about Munson. Have fun though.” With that, Steve winked at the metalhead and drove off into the night. 
 He’s gonna regret this and he knows it. 
“Eddie, you comin’ ?” 
“Um, yeah. Sorry.” 
~~~
Eddie’s eyes began to unfocus, his head pounding as he took in the sight before him. There was something so… enticing about how little you understood the effect you had on him; on people in general. You didn’t think it was a huge deal, walking around your room in just a robe. But to Eddie, it was a massive deal. The thoughts he had earlier were coming back in full force and he had no way to escape them. There was only a single layer of material separating your naked body from the outside world and it drove him insane. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how short it was, making it so that just the right bend of your knees would him the perfect view of your pussy. 
Eddie didn’t really believe in God, but now he was reconsidering it. He knew it was bad to think of you like this, especially someone like you, but he couldn’t help it. If anything, your lack of experience or knowledge made him hornier. The pillow covering his crotch didn’t help much either, the dense material providing friction with every movement of his hips. 
“Eddie?” Your voice pulled him back to attention, focusing on you but not staring. Or at least trying not to stare. 
“Yes baby?” You blushed at the nickname, never truly getting over his terms of endearment for you. 
“I have a question.” He can tell by your tone that you’re nervous, and god it’s so cute. You bite on your lips as you think of what to say next, and all he can think about is that pretty little mouth sucking on his tip. 
“Shoot.” You took a deep breath, trying to find the courage somewhere to say what you need to. 
“Earlier in the car, I uh– I felt something.” Eddie fought off the urge to grin, the possibilities of what you said next giving him a depraved kind of rush. 
“What did you feel sweetheart?” He pressed the pillow further into himself, grinding his hips ever so slightly for relief. 
“Something hard. And…it felt good. I um…liked you pressed up against me. I felt tingly.” Eddie sat up straighter at your confession.
He could cum right now off your words alone. 
“Yeah?” You nodded in response, averting your eyes as your cheeks burned with embarrassment. 
“Do you wanna feel that again?” Eddie wanted to tear the pathetic robe off and fuck you over the nearest surface, but he knew he had to be patient and gentle. 
“Yes.” 
“Come here, baby. Come to Eddie.”
The bed dipped as you climbed over to him, your robe loosening just a little bit which he took notice of. Eddie removed the pillow, giving you a full view of the rock-hard erection he’d been hiding. A gasp fell from your lips, a hesitant hand reaching out before you thought better of it.
“You can touch if you want. I don’t mind.” You debated over it for a few seconds before reaching for his crotch. Your fingers brushed lightly against the tip, the friction making Eddie hiss in pleasure. 
“Oh my god, Eddie I’m so sorry!”
“No, no, don’t apologize. Didn’t hurt at all. It was the exact opposite. ” His voice was so gentle, like nothing you’ve ever heard from him before. It encouraged you to put your hand back where it was, rubbing softly to see how he reacted. You had no idea what you were doing, which made Eddie even more eager to ruin you. In his peripheral vision, he caught his eye on your closet mirror, inciting a genius idea. 
“Okay baby, I’m gonna make you feel good now. Can you do something for me?” You would do anything for him; so of course, you said yes. 
Eddie grabbed your hand, guiding you to sit in front of him with your back to his chest. His warm calloused hands bore a feather light touch as they grazed along your thighs. Slowly they inched higher, stopping just before where you needed it and pushing your thighs wide apart. Your best friend stared at the slickness of your folds, licking his lips in anticipation. Everything he'd ever fantasized about was slowly becoming part of reality.
In the reflection of the mirror, you stared at yourself, not quite sure who was looking back at you. It felt foreign to have anyone, let alone Eddie’s hands on your body in this way. The cross necklace you’ve had your entire life glittered in the light, and you willed the guilt rising up your throat to be swallowed back down. You wanted this. The brush of your best friend’s fingers across your stomach pulled you out of your trance, eyes tracing his movements. 
“Baby, you see this little button at the top here? That’s called your clit. It’s your best friend. And its favorite thing is to get rubbed on.” 
Eddie licked his fingertips in the reflection, bringing them down to between your legs to demonstrate. The wet feeling of his spit on your clit as his calloused hands began to rub circles was so foreign yet welcomed. Your brain began to feel fuzzy as the pleasure took over and your best friend enjoyed watching you come apart for him. Breathy moans and whimpers escaped your lips as you rutted into his hand, chasing something you weren’t even sure what to call.
He cooed at you, whispering sweet nothings in your ears. The ghostly feeling of his lips brushing against your hot skin clouded your mind, making it almost impossible to enjoy his praises. It was almost too much and yet you craved more. But then he stopped. 
“Eddie! Why’d you do that?” Whatever was building up in your lower stomach, aching to be released, slowly began to dissipate along with your excitement.
“Because, I want you to do it yourself.” He paused to kiss your temple, softening the blow of your disappointment. 
“But I can’t—”
“Yes you can, and you will. Give me your hand.” You did as told, watching as Eddie put two of your digits in his mouth and sucked. It was so…sinful. Nothing like anything you’d ever seen; and you couldn’t get enough.  He pulled your spit coated fingers down btwn your legs, right down to the center of your pleasure. 
“Now rub. And don’t stop until I tell you.” You did as you were told, slowly at first to get used to the feeling. 
Soon you fell into a rhythm, high off the feeling and chasing your own pleasure. Your back relaxed into Eddie’s arms, pushing your bodies impossibly closer together. His hips matched the rhythm of yours, which only made you wetter. Your moans were matched by his as you stared at yourselves in the mirror. He was enjoying this just as much as you were. 
“Eddie, oh God. I feel…I feel..”
He grinned at his reflection. 
“I know baby, I know.” He pulled your hips into his, trying to maintain as much friction as he could. At this rate, he wouldn’t last much longer.
“Hurts a little, yeah? Keep going gorgeous, it’s gonna feel so good. Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.” His voice broke on the last few words like he was gonna burst into tears at any moment. Your lower belly tightened with a delicious kind of pain, one you chased eagerly. You rubbed your fingers at a faster pace, desperate for some kind of release as Eddie grinded against your ass. He whispered the dirtiest things in your ear, saying how good you feel and how close he is. And then, the tightness stopped as a wave of pleasure coursed through your entire body, enough to make your toes curl and ears ringing. Eddie’s name fell off the tip of your lips as you came, the final straw as wetness spread through his boxers and hips slowed to a halt. You stared in his eyes as you caught your breath, trying to find the words to describe what just happened.
You were putty in his hands, he knew that now. A post-orgasm smile spread across his lips, shamelessly staring at your fucked-out state. He had plans for you.
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casdeans-pie · 9 months ago
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Did somebody say snippet from my current wip?? Misuse of prayer anyone????? I just wish I could get to the part where Cas says, "I really don't think you would want to be doing this with your brother in the room." because Dean is inadvertently doing the angel equivalent of whispering intimately straight into Cas's ear. Angels are so goddamn weird and I cannot wait to write this whole thing.
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Boredom itched under Dean's skin. He hadn't even registered most of what he'd read on the last few pages, just turned over onto a new one every minute or so. His head sat heavy in his hand, elbow planted onto the table next to his book, and he had to resist the urge to yawn as he turned another page.
Dean glanced up at Sam, sat further down the table, with his nose pressed down close to his own book. If Dean had any hopes that Sam might be struggling to concentrate as much as him, he didn't see any evidence of it.
Cas, of course, looked as interested as he always did. He sat directly opposite Dean reading a huge book with an intensity in his expression that would be the same whether he was reading apocalyptic scriptures or nursery rhymes. A fond warmth settled in his chest.
Dean tried to follow their example and return to his own research, but after only a few minutes his leg began to bounce.
Eventually his mind wondered to the book that he'd been writing himself. It had been difficult to think of how he could write a book on Angels and get the information that he needed out of Cas without telling him about it. But a silent room, with all of Cas's focused attention on something else, felt like a perfect opportunity to get some material on prayer...
Dean tried to clear his mind (easy enough, not like he'd been paying any attention to his book) and had to resist the urge to physically clear his throat before starting.
"Cas," Dean thought, trying to make it loud inside his own head.
Dean peeked up, but Cas had had no reaction. Dude didn't even blink.
Huh.
Either his poker face is just that good, or it hadn't worked.
Thinking it loudly wasn't the same as praying, Dean supposed.
He breathed out slowly and stared at Cas, drinking in every detail of him. Praying meant faith, right? He had that. He absolutely had that. More fucking faith in Cas than anyone in the whole world.
"Cas..." slipped out of Dean's mind in a whisper, a plea, a declaration of that unwavering faith.
Cas gasped and jumped so violently that his knees slammed against the underside of the table.
"Cas? You okay?" Sam called over, concern pinching his eyebrows together.
Cas stared intensely at Dean, eyes narrowed, and he didn't even look away as he replied, "Fine, thank you, Sam. I... read something shocking in this book."
Sam looked unconvinced and switched his attention to Dean.
Dean shrugged in a you-know-what-Cas-is-like way, and eventually Sam returned to his book with a long suffering sigh and a small shake of his head.
Cas looked like he was trying not to react, but Dean knew by the hard line of his mouth that he was deep in thought, probably unsure if he'd heard anything at all. Dean had to smother a satisfied grin.
The prayer worked!
"Cas!" Dean prayed again, digging even deeper into the well of faith he had in his best friend.
This time Cas's eyes snapped open and his whole body jolted, as if he'd been struck by an electric current.
"Cas, this feels really weird and I'm not even sure I'm doing it right - but uh, this is a prayer to you, blink twice if you can hear me..."
Cas bowed his head, took a deep breath, and gripped the edge of the table.
Maybe he hadn't heard that time? Dean settled himself into his chair and tried to really think about what Cas meant to him - and how despite everything they'd been through he wouldn't hesitate to trust him with his life.
Amongst the certainty of his belief there was something tangled up in it all that felt much warmer and softer and sweeter. He tried not to examine it too closely, but some of that delicate warmth leaked into his internal voice when he prayed, "Castiel, Angel of Thursday, best buddy - breaker breaker, come in, can you hear me? I feel kinda dumb doing this, but... just give me a sign you're even getting any of this? Over."
For a second nothing happened, and Dean wondered if he'd screwed it up by throwing in the two-way radio stuff.
Dean placed his palms together under the table, wondering if that would help too. "Oh, right. Uh- amen."
Suddenly the lights above them buzzed and flickered dramatically, while a lamp in the center of the table popped and went dark.
Cas bent over even further, touching his forehead to the table, and let out such a long, loud breath it was almost a groan. He stood up from his chair so quickly it clattered backwards and he rumbled a quiet, "Excuse me," as he swept out of the room, before either Winchester could react.
Sam looked at Dean sharply.
Dean threw his hands in the air. "What?"
"Whatever you've done, go fix it."
"I haven't done anything!" Dean said on impulse, but his heart raced in his chest and the back of his neck burned just remembering that low, tortured sound Cas had made before his swift exit. The lights had returned to normal, but the casualty of the lamp bulb lay in shiny shattered pieces on the table. "Okay. Maybe I did do something. I'll go check on him."
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cavegirlpoems · 2 months ago
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So. Mechanics for this game I'm working on.
Start with a roughly OSR-shaped set of expectations. Classes, levels, XP-for-treasure, hit dice, etc. That gives you a good skeleton for what's here. There's some key differences.
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HP is divided into Flesh and Grit. Flesh is your meat points, Grit your not-getting-hit points. Lose Grit first, then flesh. Then when there's no flesh left, take horrible wounds that might disable or kill you.
On death, you have the chance to come back as Undead. Take a level of Creeping Damnation, and switch your nature out to being undead. So long as body and soul are more or less intact, death is a choice to let go, not automatic. It has costs, though - that Damnation.
Speaking Of, Damnation. Creeping Damnation accumulates point-by-point as your soul is eroded. Each point reduces your Grit by 1. Extremely bad news when you've got no Grit left.
The Plague is a thing. It's extremely bad news. Reduce your healing each night (losing HP rather than gaining if its too bad), and your lost HP counts towards your encumbrance. Don't catch the plague, dumbass.
There's a system to track your reputation with various factions in the world. There's a system to track how much of a bounty the Beast's Empire have put on your head. These can fuck you over if you let them get too bad.
You get XP for rescuing people and for killing named, hated enemies. You get XP for treasure, and claiming bounties for capturing/rescuing people.
It's expected that you'll start hiring followers - mercenaries and servants - to accompany you and work for you. What else are you gonna do with all that cash? Long-term, you'll probably invest in building a stronghold somewhere. There's mechanics for pitched battles, for when those soldiers you've hired have to defend that stronghold.
True Names are a thing. Knowing somebody's True Name gives you power over them. In particular, a lot of magic requires the victim's True Name to work, or doesn't let them save to resist it if you use their True Name. You can also invoke it to make magically binding pacts with each other.
While only clerics can create observable miracles, anybody can try praying. A successful prayer does nothing in the game fiction, but can have useful results on the meta-game level, such as nudging random encounter results.
Magic comes in six schools of six spells - Necromancy (dead and undead things), Hypnotism (the mind), Goetia (true names and binding), Transmigration (the soul and the abyss), Alchemy (the elements and materials) and Hermeticism (raw magic and Wizard Shit). Other uncategorised spells are Hedge Magic.
A lot of mechanics - encumbrance, saving throws, shopping, memorising spells, encounters - are present but dramatically streamlined.
Technically it's race + class, but we're ditching the term 'race' and replacing it with 'nature'; it's about your spiritual nature (mortal, demon, undead, etc) rather than your ancestry. Twelve Natures (mortal human, petty demon, mimic, purified one, lycanthrope, ghoul, homunculus, wormwood grotesque, revenant, ghost, soulless waif, vampire). Eight classes (Cleric, Doctor, Knight, Libertine, Outlaw, Professional, Witch, Zealot). Mix and match and add equipment to create characters.
Anyway, I know visuals sell, so have some visuals.
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loveliestlovelygirl · 9 months ago
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divine temptations | 111
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say yes to heaven, say yes to me
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fallenangel!anakin x nun!reader | lore 🪽 | playlist
synopsis: anakin, a seraph, has lost himself to his obsession of you. with every moment he can, he watches over you as you attend to your daily duties around the convent. and day by day his desire grows. when your guardian angels fail to protect you, anakin believes he has no choice but to intervene, breaking numerous heavenly laws in the process.
w.c: 2.2k+
highlights: {minors dni} dark content, heavy religious themes and imagery, inspiration taken from catholicism primarily, sexual themes, corruption kink, light sexualization of the reader as a nun, fem!reader & use of she/her pronouns, attempted sexual assault
table of contents | 222
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The crux of his obsession began with your voice. Harmonious and pure. Passionate and sweet. The soft vibrato and splendid timbre of your voice could be heard above all the clatter from the realms of Earth. The melodies you sang haunted him from the rise of the sun to the white shadow of the moon. And while he needed not sleep, he found no rest as he smoldered in his selfish desires for you. After he had fulfilled his duties for that day, when he was alone, he remained perched in the Heavens watching over you, drowning in the beauty of your voice, and lusting for your human touch.
His name was Anakin. And day after day he watched you, wishing he could descend to the realm which held your precious life. But that was a boundary that he was forbidden to cross. He was confined to be a guardian of the Heavens, not of Earth. To him, it was a cruel, cruel fate. Watching you from above, lightyears of distance between your realities, was as close to you as he was permitted.
An angel of his status, chosen to protect the thrones of the deity, a seraph, should give no eye to the realms beneath him nor find solace in the voice of human girl. The way that you had captivated him was unnatural and unholy. If anyone found out he entertained himself with you, he might be marked with shame by the highest councils, until he repented publicly. Though he might never obtain such a position as his ever again. As it were, he found himself considering these things, as if shame might be a solution to making contact with you.
He'd prefer to be your guardian angel than a guardian of his own father. He wanted to serve creation rather than its Creator. And that was sin. He could not deny this secret was a source of guilt. And it would not be long before the all-knowing Maker noticed how far from perfection Anakin had fallen.
But he wasn’t afraid of the fall. He wanted to connect with you in a deeper way than this parasocial existence. He wished to be your guardian angel. But you had many. Someone so beloved by the Creator had five guardian angels. And he hated each of them with equal rage.
Hate was dangerous. It was said that hatred lit the path of the fallen. And if it were true, then he had already doomed himself the moment he began desiring you.
He watched you as you prayed in the chapel, kneeling on the bench and making the Sign of the Cross, touching your beautiful skin with your fingertips. Contentment marked your face, and he felt it in your soul. It was only a feeling he had when he listened to your voice pray and sing with such grace and beauty. In your dainty hands, you held the rosary beads and began to say your prayer. Holding the first bead between your fingers, you whispered Our Father to yourself. Day after day you’d repeat the same prayers with equal passion. Your love and faithfulness to the one who gave you life was unmatchable. You had sacrificed much to serve him, cutting off your family and material possessions entirely to live a humble life in the convent. Your prayers never revolved around your desires, only for others. You often prayed for your sisters. Never for yourself. Anakin often wondered if you had any dreams of your own at all. Despite all his abilities, he could not hear your thoughts. He only heard what you said aloud to yourself.
As you worked with your hands in the garden, you often sang psalms of praise when you thought no one was around to listen. You sang softly, the most beautiful melody which would stain his thoughts day and night forever. He would hear you even when you were silent; the barriers of all the heavenly realms echoed with your voice, to his ears never ceasing. But perhaps, it’s only because he desired you so.
His obsession was different than that of men. Though not immune to your divine beauty, his craving for your touch transcended that of sexual pleasure. Sex is something created for humans to enjoy with other humans. His being was never made for intercourse with mankind, and he viewed it as a simple animalistic action. A way to express desire, but to him it was lacking in true passion.
What he felt for you was true desire.
He wanted to consume you.
Corrupt you.
He wanted you to desire him, crave him, lust over him, with every atom of your body and with every piece of your soul. He wanted to see you overturn your religious convictions and worship him instead. He wanted your prayers, your psalms, your whole heart.
Was that too much to ask?
Forbidden was what it was. Sacrilegious even. And enough to get him cast out of the heavenly realms forever.
But the longer he wished for you, the more he thought that it might be worth it. There was nothing he wanted more than you. And only you. He wanted to live out the rest of eternity adored by you. That would be enough.
But you were unaware of his existence. Which awakened rage within him strong enough to tear galaxies apart.
He could see you, but as long as he remained in his dimension, you would never be able to see him or know that he existed. He was forbidden to show you his glory, to share his voice, and to touch your skin. It was never meant to be.
And yet he still found a way to make contact, against all heavenly odds.
You were plucking red apples from the orchard trees close to the road. It wasn’t a common route from the convent to the market, but some used it. Anakin had finally caught a break from the council meetings with the Thrones and Cherubim and sneaked away to see you. He hated that your sisters sent you out alone where you could be harmed.
Your five guardians flitted around you in a circle. He knew that they would do almost everything in their power to keep you safe. Everything except actually physically intervening. For you, there would be no limits in how far Anakin would go to protect you. He would break every earthly and heavenly law.
For you.
And only you.
When you had filled your basket with apples, you climbed down the ladder to rest. You leaned back against the tree and looked up at the sky. If you had eyes to see the other dimensions, you would have been looking right into his eyes. His heart swelled with pride, knowing that you shared a connection, even if you didn’t know it yet.
An older human male was steering a small buggy pulled by two horses. Anakin had been watching him for miles coming down the road. Your guardian angels seemed to be unconcerned about his approach. And they could hear the thoughts of humans, which meant that you were likely safe.
But there was something about that man Anakin didn’t like. Perhaps it was only his proximity to you. He was jealous of anything that was closer to you than he.
You sang to yourself softly, and Anakin drew as near as he were permitted just to listen to your voice.
“You have a lovely voice,” the man said to you. He had gotten off his buggy and walked over the road and a stretch of grass to meet you at the tree.
Anakin held himself back somehow, though if he saw fit, he could scorch the man from the inside out until he returned to dust.
You looked up at this stranger standing over you, and instantly, your eyes widened in fear. Anakin assumed it had been a long time since you’d spoken to a man. It was natural for you to be afraid. You thought you were all alone.
Anakin only watched the interaction transpire.
“Thank you,” you said back, your voice trembling.
“Would you sing a song for me?” the man asked.
“I think… that you should leave. This is private land, sir.”
A sane person would have backed away and said his goodbyes, but he didn’t. And Anakin knew instantly that he should have trusted himself to know this man’s intentions for you. This despicable creature kicked the basket from your lap and grabbed you, holding you by the throat against the tree trunk.
Your guardian angels had failed you. All five of them. Were they not paying attention to his evil thoughts? How had they missed them? They held the power to influence the thoughts of men. They could have convinced him to turn away and leave you alone.
But they didn’t.
They were going to let this man defile you.
Anakin watched them scrambling around, trying when it’s too late to change this man’s heart. But they could do nothing to interfere with free will once man had decided.
And Anakin thought that to be a stupid law. One meant to be broken.
With a singular motion of his index finger, Anakin sent lightning from the clouds, lightning that struck this man and stopped his heart. He was burned and scarred instantly and fell back, turning to ash.
You screeched and cried and sobbed, crumbling to your knees in a shaking mess. He wished he could comfort you, but he had already done enough to ruin himself entirely. But it was worth it to keep you safe. This was as close to you as he had ever gotten. The electricity from his lightning bolt just buzzed your skin. And he felt it. He wanted you to feel him in some way.
Your guardians looked up at him all at once with fire in their eyes. Anakin smiled and gave them a wave. They were angry and picked him up. He could not overpower them when they were together.
They carried him to the high council and dropped him in the center of the chamber. Anakin did not need to explain himself; they already knew what had transpired.
“Need we remind you of the law of free will? The law given to humans by our Creator?” the Throne of Reason, Mace, said. His eyes were full of judgment and understanding at the same time.
Anakin picked himself up and stood, stretching out his layers of feathered wings. “I could not stand by and watch her be harmed.”
Mace closed his eyes and clasped his hands together. “You are in dangerous territory, young one. You know that what you did is one of the greatest of sins. To interfere with man’s will—” Mace pressed his lips together, “in such a physical way. Using the Heavens’ power against mankind. Anakin, you killed a man today.”
This was all such a waste of time. He knew what they were going to say. How they would interpret his actions. But why was no one speaking of that human’s sin. Rape. Raping a young maiden. That wasn’t worthy of a discussion? It wasn’t worthy of being mentioned?
“What about him?” Anakin asked defiantly.
Obi-Wan shot him a warning glare from where he sat. Obi-Wan was a cherub, one that was usually too busy attending to the wishes of the Creator to attend the high council. But Anakin did not doubt that his friend’s presence was needed today.
“The human?” Mace did not appreciate the diversion from Anakin’s sin.
“Yes. He was going to hurt her! And they—” Anakin pointed at your guardian angels, his entire being catching fire from his rage, “they weren’t going to intervene in any real way. They failed to listen. If I could hear the thoughts of men, I would have done something before he laid a hand on her.”
“Your obsession with this human is… concerning. Don’t think we haven’t noticed. Why are your thoughts on the Earth realms? Need I remind you that your duties are the greatest in all of Heaven?” Mace said.
“But they could have done something!”
Disapprovingly, Mace shook his head. “You can’t know that. Only the Creator does. And it is not your place nor mine to judge men. That is for the Principalities to determine. They enact rightful punishment on humanity. You are not to interfere.”
Obi-Wan spoke up, coming to Anakin’s defense. “He is young. Neither you nor I can say that we haven’t made mistakes.”
“It wasn’t just a mistake. He broke the law. He overstepped his boundaries. He killed a man.”
“In his eyes, he was protecting her.”
Mace sighed. “She does not need him for that.”
Anakin stood there for a long time, drowning in their criticisms. His chest felt heavy, and he couldn’t hear himself think. He couldn’t hear you. All that he could do was worry for you. He knew the human mind could not erase trauma. It would remain with them for good. Tears streamed down his face at the thought of your pain which you did not deserve.
“I don’t need to listen to any of you! You have no authority over me!” Anakin announced without shame. Seraphim were of the highest order.
“I was not the one who called this meeting,” Mace said sympathetically. He looked above.
There was only one who held authority over him.
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callsign-rogueone · 10 months ago
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the last six years - b.s.
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Brennan Sorrengail x reader Only one person has remained by Brennan’s side for the last six years, through the good and the bad. [requested] wc: 3.9k 🏷: SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME. fatal injury, blood, and multiple character deaths. basically every bad thing that has ever happened to Brennan will be in this series. I took some major creative liberties with this one and made a bunch of stuff up regarding Tyrrish culture, but we’re just gonna breeze right past that. more to come, because Brennan is just so husband material… mans had me giggling and kicking my feet every time he spoke.
“Tairn! We need Naolin!” You scream, praying that he is alive to hear you. “Bren, please, stay with me.”
His chest rises and falls slowly; he's still breathing. Breathing is good. “Y’need to get out of here.”
“No. I’m not leaving you. Eyes open, Bren, please,” you beg, pressing your hands deeper into the wound. “Tairn!”
“Thirty seconds out!” He yells back.
There’s not much you can do. To remove the arrow is a death sentence when you don’t have any medical supplies. It’s the only thing keeping the blood in his body, but even then it’s doing a shitty job; the warm crimson continues spilling out through your fingers, seemingly endless. 
“S’ gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Brennan soothes, feeling your panic.
“Bren, you need to stay awake. You can’t die. I can’t keep going without you.” Tears are pouring freely down your cheeks, dripping down onto the dark fabric of his flight jacket.
“You’re bleeding,” he mumbles, ignoring your pleas. He’s slipping away, fast, falling into the slow confusion that comes with a shortage of blood to the brain. “Let me mend you.”
“I’ll worry about myself later. Right now we need to keep you alive.” 
Heavy bootsteps enter the room. “Holy shit,” Naolin breathes, at your side in an instant. He digs in his bag, producing sutures and gauze.
If you act quickly, and if by some miracle the arrowhead hasn’t pierced Brennan’s heart, you can keep him stable long enough to find another mender. You break the shaft of the arrow, Brennan whimpering in pain as it shifts within his chest. 
“I know, my love, I’m so sorry,” you soothe, wiping your palms on your pant legs and moving to cradle his head in your lap as Naolin takes over. You keep whispering reassurances to him, terrified that if you stop, it’ll sever the last thread holding him in this world. “You’re doing so good, Bren. Almost done, I promise.”
Naolin gives you a look that tells you no, he’s not almost done. 
Brennan’s grip on your hand loosens, and you scramble to grab his wrist, bloodied fingers trying to find a pulse -- to no avail. “No,” you cry, tears pouring down your cheeks, “Bren, please wake up, please.”
The slow thump beneath your fingertips stops. Brennan’s heart is no longer beating.
You sob, a desperate sound that splits the air of the ballroom, and Naolin makes his decision, grasping Brennan’s hand and yours. “The two of you need each other.” 
“Nao, you can’t-” you gasp at the rush of energy that rips through you, the pain in your broken ribs diminishing instantly. You feel like you’ve been given a shot of pure adrenaline.
Naolin stops breathing just as Brennan starts again, collapsing to the marble floor, and your lips part in shock.
“He is gone,” Tairn confirms, fighting to keep his voice even. “May your gods honor his sacrifice and reward him in the next life.”
“I’m so sorry.”
His eyes are closed. That comforts you in some tiny way, that he looks whole, uninjured, like he could just be sleeping, but you know that isn’t the case.
Brennan’s breaths are even, pulse steady. The wound looks days old now, the fresh blood coating the skin the only evidence that he had nearly died today. He’ll pull through, as long as you can get out of here.
You say a prayer to Malek on your friend’s behalf, casting one last glance at his unmoving body, and gather Brennan into your arms -- he’s still breathing, but limp, exhausted. You can carry him out of here, but where will you go?
A man bearing a crossbolt steps into the ballroom.
You make no movement toward your weapon, still holding Brennan’s body to your chest. “We surrender,” you rasp, praying he will take pity on a pair of bloodsoaked young lovers and their fallen comrade. 
He steps closer, not responding. 
The words escape you before you can think. The old language feels foreign on your tongue, misshapen from years of disuse. “I am a daughter of the house Lindell, and a citizen of Tyrrendor. I have sworn an oath to-”
“I know who you are, Lady,” he says. “Come with me.”
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He stops in front of an abandoned farmhouse, painted gold in the sunset. “Bathe, sleep. I’ll be back when I can.”
You remain by Brennan’s side. You stitch up his wounds, wash the dried blood from his skin, count his heartbeats as he continues to sleep. 
Night comes, bringing freezing wind through the cracked windows, and you climb into the bed beside him, pulling the few blankets you’d found over the pair of you. He curls into your side, seeking warmth — his skin is still cold, but not as icy as it had been when you limped him over here.
When you wake the next morning, the man has not yet returned.
“Ban?” You ask quietly. You haven’t heard from the dragon since you’d dismounted over a day ago, but she must still live, as you do.
“Nearby, with Marbh,” she reassures. “Tairn has returned to Basgiath to be with his mate. It will take years for him to recover from this loss, but he will live on.”
You continue to stroke Brennan’s hair, taking solace in the steadiness of his breathing.
“Your devotion to the mender is the strongest I have seen from any human,” she says quietly. 
“He has become the air I breathe. It was unbearable when he…” you don’t even want to think the words. “I don’t know what I would have done, had Naolin not intervened.”
Brennan stirs, stretching in the cute way you’ve seen him do so many times after waking up, scrunching his face at the bright morning light streaming into the room. He takes you in, thanking the gods that the only injury you bear is a yellowing bruise on your cheek. A gentle hand cradles your face, and it vanishes.
“Naolin?” He asks quietly, and something tells you he already knows deep down.
You shake your head, your eyes brimming with tears. “He gave his life to save you.” 
He looses a shuddering breath, and you gather him into your arms, crying together.
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You attempt to mentally prepare yourself to enter the assembly room, adjusting your posture -- shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward.��
“Not a word,” you warn Brennan quietly. “Keep your shields up, like I taught you.”
“I didn’t know we were taking prisoners,” a lanky teenage boy calls, eyeing you from his perch on the edge of a table. In the years you’ve been away, he’s grown into his father’s dark features, and the lazy confidence that can only come with a noble title. “I was wondering when you’d be back from playing soldier. Have they brought you here to negotiate?”
“Lovely to see you again too, Xaden,” you say dryly, addressing the boy by name, and Brennan’s gaze whips toward you in shock. “No, I am not here to negotiate. We are here to surrender, and if you will have us, we will take your side in this fight to free Tyrrendor from those who have oppressed her for centuries.”
“They would be an asset to us, should this prove to not be a setup,” one of the elders says, keeping his hand on the hilt of his longsword.
“She has proved her allegiance to Tyrrendor time and time again,” Xaden defends coldly, dismissing the man who looks old enough to be his grandfather. “It is the general's son that I’m more concerned with.”
You look him directly in the eye as you speak, raising your chin. “Sorrengail is a strong rider and skilled mender, but above all, he is a good man. I could not have chosen anyone better to share the crown with when the day comes.”
Brennan looks at you like he has no idea who you are, trying to discern if this is a dream.
Xaden finds this amusing. “She really didn’t tell you? Always so secretive, that one. Your girlfriend is heir apparent to the Duchy of Lindell, as I am to Aretia, where you stand.”
He looks to the elders, who all nod in affirmation, deeming your appraisal of Brennan satisfactory. “It’s good to have you back, Lady. Things were getting boring without you.”
You lower your head to him in thanks, Brennan quickly copying you.
You tug Brennan into the hall after you’re dismissed.
“Did you really mean that?” He asks, head still spinning.
“Every word,” you reply. “From the moment you extended that hand to me in our first year at Basgiath, I knew you were good to your core, Brennan Sorrengail. It would be an honor to share my duty with you.” 
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“Your mate needs you,” Marbh says, making a rare appearance.
Your heart drops. You sprint down the valley trail back to the house, attempting to ascertain what had happened, but you aren’t given a response. Marbh has always been vague.
You find Brennan tucked into a corner of your shared room, back pressed to the wall. He’s clutching a piece of parchment that you recognize to be a Basgiath death roll. He extends it to you wordlessly, and your eyes race down the list, searching for Mira, his mother, another of your friends…
The final name on the list, below the rider’s quadrant cadets, almost as an afterthought… Major William Sorrengail. His father.
“Oh, Bren,” you breathe, gathering him into your arms, “I’m so sorry.”
His entire body shakes with a sob, and it takes everything in you to not cry as well, but you remain strong, needing to be there for him. “I knew I’d never see him again,” he says in a cracked whisper, “but now…” But now it’s real.
You’d never met the man, and now you never will, but you know what a profound impact Brennan’s father had on his life, imparting so many of the qualities that you admire about Brennan; his dedication to his studies, his respect for the scribes that so many others dismiss or overlook, his unwavering compassion…
You offer a silent prayer to Malek on his behalf, asking that He show the scribe the same kindness that he had shown others in life.
“I don’t know why, or how,” Brennan rasps, “I don’t know who was there with him in the end, if Mira and Violet got to say goodbye, if my mother…” he can’t finish the sentence, words cut with shaking breaths. He loses the strength to hold himself up, collapsing into your embrace. “I should be there,” he sniffles, “I should have been there.”
“I know how much you love him. He knew too, I’m sure he did. They all do.” You hold him tighter, stroking his hair. “The girls are strong. They will mourn, but they will get through it together.”
He’s run out of tears, leaving him with a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest. He eventually relaxes, not saying a word as you smooth down the soft waves of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He’s fallen asleep. You just hope his dreams will be kind to him.
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“Enough,” you command, and all heads turn toward you. “I will not have you disrespect Riorson nor his partner in his own home. Have you forgotten what he has done for our young?”
Ulices stiffens. “My apologies, Lady.” He says the title with an ounce of venom, but yields, returning to his seat.
Violet continues to study you. You’re dressed simply, head to toe rider’s black mixed with traditional Tyrrish leather armor and intricate braids that she has only seen drawn in history books, but it’s obvious in your posture that you’re nobility - you do not dip your head below the horizon even for a moment, and you speak with the confidence that others will listen.
“We have better things to do than argue about what should have happened. There is no turning back time,” you say calmly. “I agree that we have been given a legion of students rather than trained warriors, but it has become our job to train them.”
Brennan speaks next. He’s been silent since the meeting started. “What professors have joined us should resume modified versions of their courses, and we will fill in the gaps. Match up those with similar signets for mentorship. Emeterrio can continue to lead combat training, and Devera Battle Brief. Kaori has not joined us, but I think there is an obvious replacement.”
You’re saddened by the news, but you smile softly at his praise. 
Violet realizes that the scribbled amendments in the dragons section of Brennan’s book weren’t Mira’s, but yours. You’ve been close for years, then. You must have brought him here with you when you deserted. Part of her wonders if you’d attended Basgiath because you wanted to, or as a spy.
“Do not question the royal one’s integrity,” Tairn warns her, but does not elaborate further.
“The riot has decided that everyone here can be trusted,” you state. “And if anyone turns out not to be, we will do what we have to do, without hesitation, for the good of the movement.”
There’s sounds of agreement from the other six, and then the meeting is over.
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“Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the doorframe, clutching a bloodied rag to his face.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“Mira’s fist happened,” he explains, lifting it, and you wince at the sight of his nose, the bridge split and bruising. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.”
Your heart twists. Brennan hasn’t been able to see his sisters for nearly a decade, spending the last six years in hiding and the two before that stationed across the continent with hardly enough leave to travel back and forth to Basgiath. For Mira to have punched him straight in the face instead of the tearful hug he’d dreamed of… it must have crushed him.
You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “I’ll talk to her,” you say softly. “Go see the healers.”
You’ve only met the middle Sorrengail in passing, nearly ten years ago now, but she’s exactly as Brennan had described her; a younger version of their mother, and just as strong-willed. Evidently, she remembers you, scowling and crossing her arms at the sight of you, but still standing at attention — there’s no missing the Major’s insignia on your chest. Violet stands as well, but doesn’t look as sour as her sister. 
You wave a hand. “At ease. I am not here to issue orders, rather to talk about your brother.”
Mira prickles, Violet looking concerned.
You choose your words carefully. “I do not expect either of you to forgive him overnight, nor for you to forgive me for my complacency in this matter. All I ask is that you show him some compassion. It has been hard for him too, being apart from his family. When your father-”
“That is not a sentence you should finish,” Mira interrupts.
“Mira,” Violet scolds softly, “be nice.”
“No,” she snaps, “I don’t think you understand. We mourned him. We called him a hero, thought he died honorably in battle when he really just deserted and changed his name.”
“He did die,” you say, and the eyes of both women flit back toward you. You look over your shoulder. “He bled out on the floor of that ballroom, and his heart stopped. Our friend siphoned away his life to save him.”
“Tairn’s previous rider,” Violet says in a whisper, as if the dragon will not hear her that way.
“Yes. Naolin.” You say his name with a heavy voice. No wonder Tairn won’t speak to her of the one who came before. That explains the gruff dragon’s defense of you, too.
Mira is silent, likely feeling guilt over her outburst as she realizes her brother still lives in the house he’d been killed in, with the son of the man who had ended his life.
“The elders gave him the name Aisereigh — meaning resurrected — as a layer of protection from those who hold vendettas against your mother. It hurt him to take it, and to not be able to give me the Sorrengail name, but it was necessary for his survival.”
Violet’s eyes land on the band circling your ring finger, a smooth strip of silver carved with Tyrrish runes. Brennan had worn a matching one when she’d seen him the day after War Games, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until now. “You’re married.”
You nod. “Three years ago, right on that bluff at the top of the valley, on a gorgeous summer day. Both of us wish those he loves most could have been there.” 
“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, “for staying with him through it all.”
“I have been by his side since our first year at Basgiath, and I will remain there as long as we shall live, as I have vowed to,” you reply with the same blunt conviction that she’s used to from Xaden — that must be a Tyrrish thing. “Now please excuse me. I have a class to teach in a few minutes.”
Mira lowers her head to you in a gesture of respect. “I’m sorry,” she says, but she does not say what for.
You give her a soft smile in return, heading back into the house.
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“Major Aisereigh will be taking over your dragonkind course, as Professor Kaori did not elect to join us here,” Professor Devera announces.
It’s strange to be standing on the dais as an equal with the woman who’d had a hand in kidnapping you from Brennan’s bed to torture you eight years ago, but nearly everything about your life since that night has been strange.
“I don’t know precisely what Kaori did and did not cover thus far in the term, but given that every person in this room has managed to bond a dragon, you are clearly proficient, and I will treat you as such,” you begin. “Dragons are independent, often to a fault, but do not forget that your health depends on theirs. As riders, you must learn how to care for them properly. That’s what we will be focusing on for the remainder of the term, along with flight mechanics and keeping your seat under stress.”
You glance at Brennan, who is sitting incognito in the back row, broken nose now mended, and he nods, an easy smile on his face. You’re doing great.
The lesson passes easily, your students much more engaged than you remember your peers having been in Professor Kaori’s class. 
“I will be needing volunteers to help with the maintenance of the riot while they’re grounded.”
At least thirty hands shoot straight up — half the class.
The trek up the valley wall is never easy, but you make winded conversation with several of the volunteers, mainly nervous first-years who confide that they need the extra practice.
You stop at the top of the trail, cupping a hand to your mouth and calling out a few short notes, and Banrion is at your side in seconds, shaking the ground with her landing. At least a dozen others land nearby, sitting upright in waiting. 
“You’ve brought children,” she appraises, eyeing them with distaste.
“Cadets,” you correct, “that you will be helping me teach. So be nice.”
She chuffs softly. “Fine.”
“I have chosen some more agreeable members of the riot to aid me today, to ease you into their care, but let me make this clear,” you say to the class, who have retreated to give you and Ban a healthy distance. “the majority still find it deeply offensive to be addressed by a human that is not their rider. Unless your bonded has joined us today, please refrain from speaking to any directly.”
You wait for nods of affirmation. “Banrion and I will demonstrate pre-flight checks once, and then you will split into groups of two or three to do the same with the remainder here.”
Once you get everyone settled, you find Brennan — he’d tagged along quietly, not wanting to part ways after the morning’s chaos.
“Well done, Professor,” he says, smiling. “You just might make this a day job.”
You laugh. “Is this everything twenty-year-old Bren thought it would be?”
“It is,” he says quietly. “And more.”
You gaze out at the field of cadets. “Marked and unmarked, living in harmony.”
Brennan squeezes your hand in acknowledgment, remembering how scared you had been when the first marked ones left for Basgiath, and each year since. It had hurt you deeply when not all of them returned. 
Tairn stalks up to you, dipping his head in greeting. “Good to see you again, royal one.”
You smile. “Glad you’re still around, big guy. You have made an excellent choice in Violet. How is the golden one?”
“Still dreamless,” he answers, not deigning to reply to your compliment. 
You worry your lip between your teeth, concerned. 
He casts a glance around at the young cadets in the vale, who are taking their tasks very seriously. “You remain as revered a leader as you were at Basgiath.”
You’re actually touched, but you won’t dare mention that to Tairn.
“It is not an easy feat to raise young,” a green scorpiontail says in agreement, looking down fondly at the first-years that are inspecting her claws for cracks, “but the two of you are doing a fine job.”
You smile. “And how are your young?”
“Safe,” she answers. “You may come see them after dark.”
“It would be an honor.”
“Professor?” A cadet calls from across the field, sounding mildly concerned.
You pull apart from Brennan reluctantly. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight.”
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“Kiss for your thoughts?” you ask playfully, seeing the weary look on his face. It’s been a long day for him, with multiple arguments among the assembly and all the emotions of reuniting with Mira.
“I have both of my sisters back,” he breathes, still in disbelief. “I thought I’d never see them again.”
You lay a hand on his back, resting your head on his shoulder. “I spoke with them before class. Mira was particularly upset, but she softened when I told her what really happened.”
He’s quiet. “She has every right to hate me for what I did. She should despise me for the rest of my life.”
“But she doesn’t,” you remind him gently. “She holds anger, but she doesn’t hate you. You’re her brother, and she knows you love her. You wrote her an entire textbook on how to survive the rider’s quadrant. If that isn’t testament enough, I don't know what is.”
He shakes his head, smiling softly. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”
You grin, moving to climb into his lap. “Because I know you, and I know exactly what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours.”
“Yeah?” he asks, nose brushing against yours, a ringed hand settling on your waist. “What am I thinking about right now?”
“Hmm. Probably about how long of a day it’s been, and how you’d like to unwind after all of it?”
“You’re absolutely right,” he says. “I’ll take that kiss now.”
You lean forward, connecting your lips to his, and the rest of the world falls silent, melting away until all that’s left is you, your husband, and the love you share, love that has endured death itself.
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fairuzfan · 1 year ago
Note
I've seen you posting a lot about Palestine and i wanted to ask something. I'm doing what i can wrt spreading awareness and boycotting (unfortunately do not have the funds to be donating at the moment) but this is all so terrifying and it doesn't feel like enough. Idk if this is overstepping or unnecessary or anything, but i was wondering if there's any sort of Muslim prayer i can do on behalf of the people in Palestine. It might not mean anything coming from someone who's not religious but i know people take their faith very seriously and if it means something to them it feels like the least i can do. I would do the same thing for any Christian friends or family going through a difficult time, the only difference is i have no idea how to go about it in this case (I don't really have any Muslim friends, and it's primarily Christian in the area i live). Do you have any suggestions on how i could do this? Or is it not something i should do at all?
Hey thanks for this. Its very kind of you to ask. Honestly, prayers are quite appreciated and I, and other Muslims, would never turn down such a sweet request, nor would we look down on this.
Prayers (or duaa as we call it in this instance) are definitely welcome no matter any religious affiliations. There are also many Christian Palestinians in Gaza as well.
In Islam, duaa, or supplication, is when we ask God (Allah, in Arabic) for things both material and ideological. You cup your hands together and hold them in front of you while you say the prayer. Here is an English version of a prayer you can do:
“O Allah! I complain to You of my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by the people. O Most Merciful of those who are merciful. O Lord of the weak and my Lord too. To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair? So long as You are not angry with me, I do not care. Your favour is of a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descends upon me. I desire Your pleasure and satisfaction until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”
Though even putting your hands together and asking for the safety of the Gazans or any other wishes you might have are also acceptable. You don't have to do a formal prayer in which you recite something—as long as it's a genuine wish, then it's more than accepted in Islam.
You can do this anywhere and anytime. Even if you're unable to use your hands, you can still do this as long as your intention is for it to be a Duaa.
I'm not sure how Christians pray so I can't speak on that if someone else wants to provide insight.
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tokoyamisstuff · 13 days ago
Text
Penance...
...in which Father Anderson makes you repent for the sin of making him fall for you.
18+ | 2,5k. words | f! Reader | not proofread | happy ending
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Inspired by -> those <- old Headcanons from @thirstyforlulu that made me feel things.
Warnings: some angst, porn without plot, hatefuck, dom/sub undertones, slut shaming, choking, spanking, seriously this is just pure filth...he asks for consent several times tho.
Father Anderson's unmistakeable steps were echoing through the hallway long before he reached his destination. Just like with an approaching thunderstorm, if you hear it coming, it's already far too late to hide.
His knocks were loud and impatient, bearing a subtle threat that shall you keep him waiting any longer, he might as well tear down the goddamn door. He didn't mind the possibility of anyone hearing what's going on, and frankly he was too blinded by his wrath to even care.
Because now that he made up his mind, not even god himself would be able to stop him.
It feels like an eternity until you finally open, sleepily blinking up to the man that had so rudely disturbed your night's rest. He was wordlessly looming over you, face twisted in rage and something undecipherable. Yet there was no anger, no fear to be detected in your alluring gaze, just trusting confusion.
"Father?" You sound worried, tilting your head to the side as you rub your eyes and for the fraction of the moment, his features soften. "Is everything alright?"
Anderson balls his fists several times, jaw clenched tight as the last remnant of his volition still hesitated to give in to this overwhelming desire. He was torn apart on the inside, but his self-restraint fainted with every passing second in your proximity.
After endless nights of praying, begging god for guidance, he had grown weary to ward off these intense feelings. For decades he fullfilled his holy duty without fail, had never asked for anything before and yet it seemed that in this time of adversity his god had forsaken him.
If the Lord would not answer his prayers, then he would stop trying to renounce what he so greatly yearned for. But once that line is crossed, there would be no going back for either of you.
Well, then so be it.
A desperate groan cut through the silence and eventually his lips crash over yours as he enters, slamming the door shut behind him. The kiss takes your breath away, despite the obvious inexperience there was to it. You gasp when his tongue forcefully splits your mouth open, running across your bottom lips before exploring the inside.
Anderson's chest is heaving as he tore himself away from you, breath visible as feeble mist. You cannot make out his eyes behind the reflection of his glasses, but that wasn't necessary to notice his emotional turmoil.
You were overwhelmed but at the same time incredibly blissful that he had the courage to do what you never would've dared. That initial excitement wouldn't last long however, and before you could even register what happened, the priest had bent you over the next best surface. A bang halls through the room as your head hits onto the tabletop, your body pressed against the cold material at least partially soothing the pain.
"Do ye have no shame, woman?" His tone is unusual cold, sending a shiver down your spine as he speaks. "Dragging a righteous man of faith down to your level is a sin against god."
"Wha-" You still felt dizzy due to the impact, but slowly began to grasp the situation. "But Alexander, I didn't do anything wro-"
"That's still 'Father Anderson' for ye" he reminds, harshly janking back your hair.
How dare you acting all innocent now? You knew exactly what you were doing, all this time!
With the way you acted, presented yourself, spoke around him there's no way he could buy any cheap excuse of yours right now. Every subtle touch of yours made him feel like electric shocks surged through his system, every sweet affirmation only further worsening this tormenting need that could only be quenched by having you in every way possible.
It was sweet torture to be given fractions of what he could never have, and yet giving in would mean losing a central part of himself forever.
When he shall betray his oath, then he'll at least make you pay the price.
Anderson grids, almost snarls as he remembered your past transgressions, wants to make you feel just a fraction of the misery you made him go through.
"The devil has triumphed" he explained coldly, impassive even. "and you are his accomplice. You must be punished for your actions."
"N-No, please- ah!" You bite your tongue to suppress a moan, feeling Anderson grind against you from behind.
"Just look at you" he spat, tone laced with a venom he usually only adressed heathens and monsters with. You wore nothing but a thin, almost translucent nightgown and a string which he provocatingly tugged on, his tongue clicking in contempt. "Is that how a virtuous servant of god is supposed to dress? Pathetic."
Embarrassment washes over you but there was no time to dwell in your pity, since his hands already sneak beneath the fabric, the cold leather of his gloves making your nipples betray you and stiffen under his touch. "No better than a Babylonic whore..."
The implication of both his words and actions fills you with dread.
It is so unlike himself to act this way, as if the sweet, caring man you once knew had been replaced by a cruel lunatic, akin to a feral beast. He frightened you like this, and you anxiously wondered if you'd ever see the real Anderson again. The man that had sworn to protect you, who would never voluntarily hurt you in any way.
He seems far away now.
"I-I really don't know what you're talking abo-" Anderson cuts you off right there, fingers digging deep into the flesh of your hips as he rams them against his clothed cock. You feel him harden as you try to squirm out of his grasp, your writing only spurring him more.
"Don't play dumb. Ye wanted me to do this, didn't ye?" The assassin leans over your shaking body, his breath hot on your ear as he chuckles darkly. "Tell me I'm wrong and I'll stop at once."
You stare at him for a while, completely quiet, before averting your eyes in shame, not denying his accusations. "Knew it..." The man smirks diabolical, tearing your gown apart at the seam in one skilled movement. "This whole time you tried to entice me even though you knew the consequence, yes?"
You were at loss for words. While the priest was right about your indecent attachment, you never planned to take it any further - at least not consciously. Maybe you did act different around him, but that would mean you're at fault for tempting one of the churches most loyal. No wonder he's behaving so twisted, his faith means everything to him after all.
What does that make you?
Tears dwell in your eyes and countless apologies drop from your lips, but they all went on deaf ears.
"No need to ask me" he declares, pointing to the sky. "Tell it to god."
You might have succeeded to make him commit this sin, but at least he'll do it on his terms...
...and right now he wants you to ask for forgiveness until the sound of your pleas would quiet the screaming conscience in his mind.
The priest places a firm hand on your ass, groaning at the sensation. "Lets see if you caught up on your teachings. Recite 1 John, 1:9."
"If we confess our sins, he will for- ah!"
"Wrong" he emphasizes his word with a slap, ordering "Again."
“I-If we- ouch!" you hiss, and your screams are like music in his ears. "No stuttering when you talk about the Lord's gospel. Again."
This scenery repeats several times, with the priest always finding some minor detail to reject your version, all just to dwell into this reverted power dynamic a little longer.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
"Amen. Good girl..." he purrs, rubbing the sore flesh of your behind, until his fingers find something else to busy themselves with, fingertips brushing against your folds. "So wet already...you really wanted this, huh? Ye happy now?"
You nod both eager and bashful, the endearing sight almost appeasing him enough to go easier on you...only almost, though. Without warning he pumps one finger inside, a muffled gasp escaping your throat at the action. It works with such ease that he enters another and then one more, the material of his gloves making lewd noices as he prepares you well.
"Don't tell me you've done this before..." You coat yourself in silence once again. He knew very well you were a woman long before turning your way towards religion way later in life. "Tz tz tz...such a dirty, filthy thing in my church..."
You whine and buckle your hips when he pulls out, much to his amusement. His gloves are coated with your juice and he leads them to his tongue, getting a sample of your nectar while he stares you down intensely.
Shit, you taste like heaven.
"Nah-ah-ah..." Anderson scolds as he roams your curves, his finally uncovered palm relishing the sensation of your tender skin against his calloused hands. "Sinners don't get to cum...yet."
The man keeps holding you firmly in place, his other hand unbuckling his belt. You feel his thick head at your entrance, a mixture of panic and fervor rising in your chest.
"Last chance to tell me to stop" he warns, a paradox fondness in the way he speaks opposite to how he's handling you. "N-No...please..."
"Please what?" Growing impatient, you feel his erection twitch as he rubs himself between your thighs. "Speak up."
"Shit- please...I want you, Anderson...ah!" The man lets out a gluttural sound when he buries himself inside of you, slowly stretching your insides.
Bloody fucking hell, you feel even better than he could ever have imagined.
"Such a pretty lil' thing..." he murmurs as he watches you so neatly wrapped around his cock, giving you some time to adjust to his size before he starts moving. "So pretty and mine."
You groan at the pleasant ache, feeling so damn full when he starts violently thrusting into you, showering you with both vile curses and enamored praise.
Anderson keeps you pinned down, wrists twisted behind your back and your head pressed against the furniture. Like in a trance he keeps up this brutal pace, puts all of his pent-up frustration into it as he mercilessly rams into you.
"D-Don't stop...mhh..." His movements become more erratic, but your sweet pleas make him chase this high for you. He keeps hitting a spot that makes you sing for him until he feels your body tense beneath his. You see stars, being reduced to a moaning and trembling mess as Anderson rides you through your high.
The way you moan his name like it's a sacred prayer sends him over the edge shortly after and he stops, ramming into you one more time and spilling deep inside of you.
Anderson remains still, stays like this for a while before he pulls out, watching his seed leaking out and dripping down your leg. Out of a whim he shoves it all back in, keeping his fingers steady against your sensitive hole. "Ye wanted it, now don't ye dare wasting any."
His orgasm had hit him with a force that made his mind go blank, but when the haze in his brain slowly fades, the realization of what he just did made the pleasant aftershock vanish in an instant. Anger boils up in his guts once again, at constant war with the conflicting flutters of his heart.
"...god, I hate you..."
Those words together with his disgusted look made your chest narrow, but you were far too exhausted to have a proper reaction. You want to move and quickly cover yourself, but he's far from done yet, swiftly spinning you around on your back and aligning himself with your entrance again. "I don't think so" he mocks, a sadistic glee present on his features as he presses his thumb on your clit, earning a cry. "We'll continue until you've learned your lesson."
Anderson holds you down by the throat as he shoves himself inside you again, the overstimulation almost too much to bear. You feel like you've been set on fire, clawing on his arm to make him have mercy. And yet he feels your walls clench around him each time he squeezes down on your windpipe.
Indeed, seeing you like this, all messed up and stained with tears, isn't nearly as satisfying as he hoped it to be. Quite the opposite even, he loathes himself for being so obviously unable to be the man you deserve.
Maybe that was what this is about...
All his life he scorned having been born a mere man, since the weight of awareness that came with it was simply crushing. He strived to become an unfeeling tool to implement god's will, and as such he shouldn't have to feel like this.
So why can't he shake off what makes him so undeniably human?
"Stop..." he grids in between frantic thrusts, voice cracking. "Stop...looking at me...like...that..."
Still, you stare at him in awe as if he just personally hung the moon, hand trailing across the arm holding you down until it settled on his cheek. Your lips mutely form his name before curving into a vibrant smile, and he is completely and utterly forlorn at the sight.
Anderson lets out a sob as closes the gap between the two of you again, his mouth covering yours in exasperation. "I hate you..." he repeats, his voice meek and more woeful this time. "I hate how much I love you...shit, I love you so, so much, I-"
"I know. I feel the same, Alexander..." You redeem him with another kiss, both passionate and soothing as you wrap your hands around his neck, hands entangled in his hair. He immediately reciprocates, lifting you up against a wall to be as close as humanly possible. More careful this time he settles for a slow pace, head buried in your neck and tenderly raising blood to the skin, placing a mark of possession.
This time you come undone together in a tight embrace, unwilling to let go even long after the waves of your release ebbed away. Your foreheads are touching and you erupt into relieved laughter, which Anderson cannot help but sheepishly join in.
He begins planting countless pecks to your face, neck, shoulder, wherever his lips could reach, a hint of remorse flashing in his eyes as he caresses the bruise forming on your neck.
"Come." He timidly lets you down on your still wobbly feet, stuffing himself back into his pants. "Get dressed. We need to get going."
"Wha-" you raise an eyebrow at him as he throws the next best piece of clothing your way, almost offended at the lack of aftercare. "Where to?!"
"The confessional." Oh, that man is fucking crazy. "Then let me at least take a shower befo- hey!"
There was no use in arguing, for he had already picked you up again, bridal style this time. "Later" he urges, pressing a wet kiss into your hair and another one to your cheek. "I'll carry you if I have to."
Seems like the old Anderson is back...too bad, since you had just started enjoying this other side of his.
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ellitx · 11 days ago
Text
Chapter 20: Wind's Soliloquy
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𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
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           The rain had been pouring ever since. It never seemed to stop but it was not strong and heavy, fortunately. Yet the frequent raindrops made the land so gloomy as if the Hydro Archon was crying for days.
           A young maiden ran towards a nearby shelter, her shoes stepping on the muddy field and forming a small splash with each stride. Alas, she shielded herself from the cold droplets.
           The flowers in her arms were wet yet they still retained their shape and form. As much as she wanted to complain and scream at the sky for ruining her journey, she feared the Anemo Archon may hear her and punish her for saying such unthinkable things.
           She sighed disappointingly. Her fingers buried against the bouquet and held it tightly close to her. Her trip near the tower’s entrance had a purpose. She wasn’t aimlessly wandering, nor was she just a citizen passing through.
           No, she was here to ask for blessing from her nation’s god and his beloved. Legend has said if you offer an offering near the entrance, your wishes will be heeded. Of course, at first, she had doubts. There was no such thing as miracles. But she took back her word when an unbelievable and impossible incident became possible.
           Shortly after Ludi Harpastum, a festival of joy and celebration, a calamity struck. A massive storm surged. Houses were damaged, and the once vibrant fields lay ravaged. The disaster had devastated her family's home. Thankfully, the Knights of Favonius offered to let the victims stay at their headquarters for the meantime while they restore the city. And one thing she noticed, in particular, was how frequently the villagers are going outside the city to travel to the old broken tower.
           At first, she thought of it as simply gathering materials and the like. And her friends were tagging along with them, so she didn’t pay too much attention to it. But when those expeditions had become nothing with no result, she had grown suspicious.
  ��        Everyone was bringing flowers, wines, and food.
           What were those for? That was the first thing she asked her mother after she returned to her “expedition”. Her mother smiled tiredly, patting her head affectionately before she motioned her to sit next to her.
           It seemed the offerings were meant to seek favor from the Anemo Archon.
           “By offering gifts and prayers to Lord Barbatos and his beloved, the city will be restored.”
           The daughter’s eyebrows scrunched together, her doubts growing further. “But will that really work? We can’t just simply sit still and pray then— poof!” She raised her arms, motioning them slowly like acting out an explosion, “Everything will magically return to normal,” she continued before flopping back to the edge of the bed.
           “Oh, you silly girl!” Her mother pulled her to her chest and playfully messed her hair which earned her a huff, but a lighthearted one which the mother fondly recognizes.
           The giggles and laughter died shortly as the dawn of silence took over the room. The candle was their only source of light and despite the poor lighting, she could easily notice there’s something on her mother’s mind that’s been distracting her.
           “Mom?” She called out. Her mother’s eyes flickered before snapping her gaze to her and forcing a smile.
           “It’s getting late, love. Do you want to hear a bedtime story?”
           It was ridiculous. Laughable even, that her mother just offered to tell her bedtime stories when she’s already in her teens.
           “I think I’ll pass. I’m too old already for bedtime stories,” she replied, trying to lighten the atmosphere with a playful grin. “Who said you’re too ‘old’ for bedtime stories?” The mother feigned shock, her tone higher than before.
           She chuckled, shaking her head at her mother's antics. “Mom, you know what I mean. I’m sixteen!”
           Her mother's expression softened, a flicker of sadness in her eyes that didn't go unnoticed. “You'll always be my little one, no matter how old you are.”
           The daughter’s heart tugged in guilt then sighed in defeat. Whether it’s because her mother was manipulating her feelings or not, she’s unable to resist her pleading gaze. “F-fine, I wouldn’t mind hearing another story as long as it’s you telling me.” The woman smiled widely and supported her weight by resting her face on her palm.
           “Legend tells of a corner of the city that has been forgotten by the wind.”
           Her fingers brushed over her hair, tucking it behind her daughter’s ear whilst lovingly gazing at her, taking notes of the changes in her features. She knows her mother is being sentimental again over how quickly she grows. She understands those sentiments yet it’s best not to speak of the topic and make it depressing when the blitheness was there a minute ago.
           “To reach that place, one must stand before the fountain and close their eyes, then wait for thirty-five heartbeats, then walk seven circles clockwise around the fountain followed by seven further circles anticlockwise. Upon opening one's eyes, one will find they have arrived at a little shop…”
           The daughter closed her eyes and let her ears envelop the tune of her kin’s soft voice. Time had slowed down between them. It was only her and her mother together in this lone room with a single stalk of candle. She didn’t mind. After all, her voice was calming and soothing.
             She didn’t exactly remember when and how it happened. Because by the time she woke up and heard ruckus and clamor outside of the Favonius’s Headquarters, her eyes couldn’t believe what she saw.
           Everything was restored. As if the aftermath of the storm wasn’t there from the beginning… Everyone was cheering, crying, applauding, and gathering at the plaza where the statue of the nation’s god stands. She didn’t bother changing her clothes and doing her morning routine.
           She needs to understand— know— what in the world just happened. Pushing and squeezing her lithe frame against the closely packed multitude, she looked for any familiar faces to answer her horde of questions that began to bubble over her head.
           She called out to her friend and finally freed herself from the applauding audience to stand next to her friend.
           The girl's friend turned with a wide grin, their eyes reflecting the joyous atmosphere. "Can you believe it? It's like a miracle! The city is restored!"
           "But how?" she questioned, her eyes scanning the crowd for anyone who might have answers.
           "Rumors say it was the Anemo Archon himself," they replied, pointing towards the statue of the god. "They say he granted our prayers and restored our home."
           She gazed at the statue, still skeptical of the sudden turn of events. “Wh-what are you talking about?” Her lips stuttered, unable to fathom their collective and unanimous praise.
           The corner of the friend's lips trembled. Their hands were shaking even if it was already on the girl's shoulder. She could feel them shaking— shaking like a scared dog but there was a big grin on their face.
           “The Anemo Archon forgave us of our sins.”
           That was the last thing she heard. The mutual and unified cries of the civilians, priests, and nuns, all together as they clasped their hands to one to honor and pray for their lord.
            But something felt amiss, a whisper of doubt amidst the jubilation. Why would the Anemo Archon intervene now? What sins were they being forgiven for? The questions swirled in her mind, leaving a lingering unease.
           If it was indeed the Anemo Archon's doing, she couldn't help but feel grateful. Yet, she wondered what had truly transpired. The mystery of the sudden restoration only deepened her curiosity.
           But days after days of trying to uncover the truth, all of those doubts are nothing but a disguise for her lack of faith in her god. She was just being an unfaithful devotee of Lord Barbatos. How could she? And she truly felt remorseful and guilty for having doubts of the Anemo Archon’s capabilities.
           He had saved their nation more than once aside from the recent events of the storm, and that was enough for her to be grateful to him. If it truly was a blessing from the Anemo Archon, a miracle of wherein she can believe in it, then please…
           The bouquet in her hold was settled on the concrete flooring. She ignored the raindrops collecting into the fabric of her blouse, focusing on her prayers and her prayers alone. Her fingers clasped together, intertwining into a tight grip as she muted out every noise, every raindrop.
           “Oh, Anemo Archon. I do not wish for anything but for the good health of my mother. I implore you to please guard her against illness and adversity,” she whispered fervently, her voice barely audible over the patter of the rain.
           Her mother had always been her pillar of strength, her unwavering support. The thought of losing her was too much to bear. So, with her heart heavy with worry, she offered her prayers to the divine, seeking protection and healing for her loved one.
  —
             The tempest of the snowstorm was undoubtedly so cold that even his cloak was not enough for him to provide the warmth he sought. Venti peeked over the window of his room, watching over the tower looming over them so ominously.
           A little jingling was heard next to him and it was enough to recognize who it was even if he was not looking where his little friend was.
           “We are so close to the outside world…” He mumbled to himself, vigilant eyes unfaltering as if he was fighting against the mere stack of bricks. “And tomorrow we’re going to face Decarabian…” He shifted his gaze to the figure sleeping on the other side of the bed.
           The little wisp levitated over to him slowly and tilted its head before letting out another chime of jingle. Venti chuckled and lightly patted the two little sprouts sticking out of its head.
           “I’m not afraid,” He replied. “But I am afraid of losing her…”
           He glanced at the sleeping figure once more, a wave of emotions crashing within him. The weight of the impending battle was heavy on his shoulders, but his love for her, and his determination to protect her, was even heavier. The wind stirred outside, a reminder of his responsibility to liberate the nation, but in this quiet moment, his thoughts were only for her.
           Barbatos’s two dotted white eyes squeezed, reassuring his friend as he twirled over to you and gave another set of ringing. He patiently waited if he had another word to say, but it was enough of an indication when the wisp returned to lodge next to him. Venti easily deciphered what he was saying:
           “I may be a wisp, but I will do everything in my power to protect the both of you.”
           His eyes creased before he cupped his hands and gently lifted Barbatos so they could see each other eye to eye. “Thank you. That means a lot. I started this rebellion myself and I’d be willing to do anything. However…”
           The young bard briefly paused, staring absently at where you lay and Barbatos followed his gaze. It was not unusual for Venti to be deep in his thoughts. With how they have often been together, it’s one characteristic of him that Barbatos took notice of.
           But unlike his deep pondering, within his deep blue eyes he could see swirls of uneasiness. Eyes of worry lost in contemplation, reflected a storm of concern. The furrowed brow framed windows into a troubled mind, where the weight of thoughts etched delicate lines around the eyes. In their depths, shadows danced, revealing a tumultuous sea of unease. The gaze, once bright, now carried a subdued flicker, like embers struggling against the encroaching darkness.
           Barbatos was quiet but he slowly approached his friend and flew over his shoulder. The wisp already knew what was bothering him, but he didn’t break the silence. Rather, he let the silence consume them.
           He already knew this war would be a matter of life and death. Full of bloodshed and ruthless crashing of swords and greatswords all for the sake of freedom. They had lost several allies, what more if Venti loses you?
           What more if you lose him?
           Venti bitterly laughed to himself, catching Barbatos off-guard. He wanted to soothe his friend, but the cold sweat running over to the nape of Venti’s neck and the clenching of his fist over to his shorts was enough to come to a conclusion: Venti was scared.
           How come when he’s this close— they’re so close, he began to cower? He prepared himself in and out. From days to weeks, weeks to months, he led and planned everything with precision. Did he doubt his capabilities? Or was he scared they would never obtain freedom? Perhaps the weight of responsibility pressed harder than he let on.
           The impending battle with Decarabian, a foe of colossal proportions, bore down on him. The prospect of facing an archaic power, an entity that once ruled over Mondstadt, sent shivers down even the god of freedom’s spine.
           Venti cast a sidelong glance at the peacefully slumbering figure beside him. In the quiet of the room, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest served as a stark reminder of what he stood to lose. The very thought of harm befalling you awakened a vulnerability he tried to bury beneath the bravado.
           He sighed, a mix of frustration and self-awareness. The war-torn history and the battles fought in the shadows, all led to this moment. Yet, the proximity of his friend, the one who anchored him, uncovered a layer of trepidation he never fully acknowledged.
           The little wisp fluttered near him, its tiny form a manifestation of loyalty. It chimed softly, a melody of encouragement. Venti managed a rueful smile, realizing that even Barbatos wasn’t immune to the currents of fear and doubt. The approaching conflict, an inevitable clash with the remnants of a bygone era, hung heavy in the air.
           Perhaps it was fate upon meeting two important people,  in Barbatos’s life; and never did he foresee he’d forge a deeper relationship with them.
           Amidst the raging storms, he thought he would never be heard but alas there a boy clad in a dark cloak with a lyre in his hand appeared in front of him.
           “Barbatos,” he called. “If anything happens to me, protect [Name] for me, alright?” Venti stood up from his seat and discreetly walked over to your bed. Barbatos watched from a distance. The bard’s hand gently brushed over your tousled locks as he lovingly smoothed the disarray of strands.
           Venti's eyes held a tenderness, a silent promise etched within the gentle caress. The room was filled with a hushed intimacy, interrupted only by the soft rustle of hair beneath his fingers. He delicately gathered a handful of your hair, the strands flowing through his fingers like silken threads. Holding them close to his lips, he pressed a tender kiss upon them.
           “Watch over her. Promise me that. Please…”
           Barbatos, observing this silent exchange, nodded in understanding. The air in the room seemed to shimmer with an unspoken bond, a connection that transcended the uncertainties of the impending conflict.
  —
             Freedom. That’s all that matters. That’s all that matters to the people of Mond. Freedom is everything to them, and if it were to be taken from them, they would rebel and fight for it to get what is rightfully theirs.
           That is what everyone fought for. That is what Venti fought for when the tyrant locked them up. And that freedom is what he promised to seek for his dearly beloved.
           The promise… That’s right, the promise.
           Barbatos made a promise to his friend: to guard and keep you safe from your father’s wrath. That he achieved. He did not need any of those extravagant praises from everyone, or a luxurious celebration that he protected the last survivor of the royal family. Your love and attention were enough for him as his honorarium, and if his plans went smoothly, then he couldn’t ask for more than your presence.
           But what about his promise to you? Not as Venti, not as Barbatos the Anemo Archon, but as Barbatos the wind wisp. He faintly recalled from his memories, vague echoes of your voice ringing in his head to protect your dear. He could hear your cries, he could vision your tearful face, and he could smell the faint aroma of smoke and blood from the past.
           “Barbatos, please. Protect Venti…”
           He stood at the precipice of conflicting roles, torn between the weight of his promise to the girl he cherished and the duty he bore as the Anemo Archon. The memories of her pleas echoed through the chambers of his mind, each word a poignant reminder of the sacrifice she had made.
           As he prepared for the impending battle against Decarabian, Barbatos couldn't shake the dual nature of his existence. The freedom he had fought for was now intertwined with the personal pledge he made to safeguard Venti—the mortal guise he wore to be closer to you.
           The wind wisp, a manifestation of his divine essence, hovered beside him, a silent witness to the internal struggle. Barbatos knew that protecting Venti meant more than shielding the bard from physical harm; it meant preserving the essence of the person he had become through his interactions with you.
           The wind wisp chimed softly, a comforting melody that seemed to say, "I'll protect what you hold dear." At that moment, Barbatos made a silent vow to honor both promises—to secure the freedom of Mondstadt and to shield the vulnerable heart of the bard who had become an inseparable part of his divine existence.
           Yet no matter how much he convinced himself that he still preserved the life of Venti for all these years, those were merely pathetic excuses he gave to himself that he was unable to protect him. That was the harsh truth he wished to never know. The harsh truth he often ran away from. The harsh truth is the least he wanted you to know. And because of that harsh truth, you will never be able to uphold your promise to Venti to travel the world with him.
           You were living a life of lies.
           “I hate you,”
           Such vile words escaped from your delicate lips, coated with nothing but hatred. All love was lost and diminished. Resentment smoldered within you, a slow-burning fire that refused to be extinguished.
           “I hate you!”
           Three venomous words stung into his heart and soul. His eyes, once alight with the sparkle of mischief, were now dimmed by the torrent of tears that streamed down his ethereal face. He reached out his hand to you as tears cascaded down like a torrent.
           “[Name], no… Don’t leave me, please!”
           His voice cracked, carrying the weight of a thousand heartbreaks. His outstretched hand trembled, fingers desperately reaching for something that was slipping away.
           The once carefree Anemo Archon was now a broken deity, his essence shattered by the cruelty of your hatred.
           “No, no, no!! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me here!!”
           His chest heaved with sobs, each tear a testament to the agony that consumed him. The celestial realm seemed to weep alongside him, mirroring the storm within his soul.
           Barbatos jolted upright in bed, gasping for breath. The echoes of your anguished words still reverberated in his ears, a haunting melody that refused to fade. The room felt oppressive, shadows dancing on the walls like spectral remnants of the nightmare that had gripped him.
           His chest heaved as he tried to dispel the lingering emotions from the dream. The remnants of your hatred clung to him, a weight that threatened to drown him in a sea of regret. The moon cast a soft glow through the window, a stark contrast to the turmoil that had unfolded in the dream.
           With trembling hands, Barbatos wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, realizing that he had been pulled into the depths of a waking nightmare. The images of your tears and the venomous words hung in the air, a phantom reality that felt too close for comfort.
           He whipped his head and cast his eyes promptly into the quiet room until they landed on a maiden deep in her slumber. Barbatos sighed in relief and for a moment, he simply sat there, the silence broken only by the erratic rhythm of his heartbeat. The nightmare had been a cruel reminder of the consequences of his choices, a vivid manifestation of the fears that lingered in the recesses of his heart.
           The lies Barbatos had forged for years were now haunting him. The lies that shielded you from the brutal reality all for the sake of selfish love. Barbatos had meticulously woven a tapestry of deception to protect you from the burden of his divine obligations, but mostly from his growing sick and obsessive love for you.
           You still haven’t discovered he was the new Anemo Archon until the blonde traveler told you everything about him during the night of the Ludi Harpastum festival. Barbatos scoffed, recalling how you were so caught off guard when the truth finally surfaced after you were separated from him. If only that pesky traveler and his fairy companion just minded their own business, he wouldn't need to cast you into a deep yet tranquil slumber.
           With great reluctance, he drew himself up and looked at the girl who held a very special place in his heart. You’ve brought so much joy and happiness to his life, not to mention more laughter than anyone else ever could. To see you seething with anger and searing pain would bring a weight on his chest like nothing else.
           Barbatos slowly embraced your hand to his, slipping his fingers in between, and softly brushed his lips along your knuckles, kissing each of them one by one. His vision blurred as his gaze wandered towards your angelic features, but a sudden pang of panic gripped his heart.
           “I didn’t knock her hard, have I?” he asked himself, his mind suddenly clouded with worry. The archon sighed deeply, berating himself over his unplanned actions. It was fortunate he still knew how to wield his powers and put you to sleep. He just hoped he didn’t dose you too much where it’ll take you years for you to wake up. He could only hope you’ll wake up soon, otherwise he might throw another outburst in Mondstadt.
           You've always brought light into his world and filled him with warmth. In a matter of minutes, you've managed to affect him in ways he never thought possible. He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes tightly, replaying the many times he found comfort in your arms or gave him a loving smile. There were many things he would like to say, but for now, his turbulent state of mind is not helping him.
           Barbatos groaned in frustration, ruffling his head in sheer irritation. It took every ounce of strength within him to restrain himself from throttling some ignorant traveler. Those ungrateful bastards deserve to pay dearly for ruining his precious morning.
           His rigid frame softened and he shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. Barbatos slumped on the floor next to you and hugged his knees.
           As if afraid to wake up, it feels like a waste to even blink within this dream. And to think that the other side of the sky is so vast… Does he deserve this ending?
           Sometimes some things can’t be helped. While wounded by his own helplessness, the present in all its clumsiness, is changing into a brilliance of fabric reality.
           The more I protect it, the more it looks fragile. And the more I steal it, the more I want it…
           Barbatos sighed, the weight of his internal conflict bearing down on him. You’re everything to him—his source of strength, his light in the darkness, and the light at the end of the tunnel he was always seeking. The guilt that slowly piled upon him like countless millstones on a tree of regret and the past memories won’t let him move forward, hindering him from doing what’s right.
           He knew you deserved better than what he had given you. He’s been hiding a lot of things from you: his identity, his status as an archon, and even the death of Venti.
           Barbatos tugged his hair tighter, his frustration palpable in the agitated movements. He couldn't escape the relentless truth that bound him — because to you, Barbatos was merely your wisp friend. He was not the Anemo Archon, and certainly not the free-spirited bard.
           It frustrates me because I can’t be him and it begins to burn at my throat.
           Biting his lips, blood drew out. How cruel was he to decide to pose as your lover? He only wanted to be loved, cherished, and adored. To hide behind masks of illusions and cruelty? It’s not what you deserve.
           He clutched at his chest as if trying to quell the searing pain that echoed through his heart. The memories of carefree days as Venti taunted him like elusive specters. The laughter, the music, the unburdened joy — they felt like distant echoes mocking him in his current divine form.
           Barbatos needs you. Venti needs you. He fumblingly sauntered to your bed and gently opened his palms, caressing your soft skin. He felt a newborn warmth along him.
           The deceptive dance of his identity left him feeling vulnerable. The looming possibility that you might leave him once you wake up and still remember the truth was a haunting specter. Every moment spent with you was tinged with the fear of losing the connection he so desperately craved. For now, everything is falling into place. He'll continue to act as him even if it means to deceive you. But that won't ever happen again, he'll be careful— cautious— about everything he does around you. The past will never haunt him anymore. It will never touch you.
        You will never know. It was all a dream. A nightmare. But it's better not to mention anything of what happened that night, isn't it? It's the best and safest option. The world that should be smiling kindly to you and his friend reverted to his direction, taking their wishes that were never his from the beginning.
           There’s a place he yearns for but can never reach. The place he wants so much but can never grasp. He almost forgot to wish when he gazed in the distance.
           In his tightly clenched fist, his heartbeat is heating up again. Leaning down, he rested his head against your stomach and closed his eyes, breathing in the same pattern as yours in rhythm.
           “I love you,” he whispered, fluttering his lashes to where you lay and gazing at you oh so lovingly. His fingers trickled to your arm, clinging and clutching, before traveling to your bare neck. “You love me too, right, [Name]? You’ve always said you love me.”
           He crawled over you, his physique looming over your comatose state. His teal irises glittered as he peered closely at your sleeping face. His lips curved upwards in a smile before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.
           That dreamless sleep, the veil between worlds will fall aside. His lingering touch, beaming with emotions he wasn’t aware of, glistening with affection, reverence, and lust all at once, creating a warm nimbus aura around his body. All while his unguarded words formed something like a prayer.
           “Oh love, you’re so pretty… so tender, and so beautiful.”
           His slender finger gently traced the contours of your face, tracing every outline of the contour of your nose, cheeks, and lastly lips. It lingered for more than a few seconds. He leaned in, slowly and carefully. He stared at you and let them blur as he stroked your cheeks.
           There was no response, not even an inkling of recognition or reaction.
           He exhaled shakily, taking off any remorse or guilt left in his conscience, and pressed his lips against yours. He savored the sweet taste that lingered on your dry lips.
           I love you, I love you, I love you…
           Despite their parched state, he paid no mind, lost in the intoxicating essence of your embrace. His kiss was light and soft, yet it held a fervent passion as if the dryness of your lips only intensified the craving for the delectable flavor he found there.
           I love you so much, [Name]. The things you do to me…
           With a happy sigh, he closed his eyes and relished every bit of your breath, wanting nothing more than to get drunk on its sweetness. Barbatos slowly pulled away, his lips tugging your bottom lip before it bounced back to its place. He panted, blinking for a few moments.
           A kiss with you has always been his favorite, and it didn’t take too long for him to know he wanted more because shortly he went back and connected his lips with yours again.
           A kiss here, and another kiss, and another, and another. It went on a cycle, an endless loop that he didn't even know how long he had been kissing you repeatedly. So sweet. So enticing. One short kiss after another, he wanted to engrave this in his mind.
           With every passionate lip-lock, he became more obsessed. In all honesty, he felt that he would die if he stopped, the taste still lingering in his mouth and permeating through his whole being. You’re the ethereal drug, a celestial intoxication that transports him to heavenly realms.
           Barbatos, feeling an unsettling shift in the air, abruptly sensed an intruder nearing the ancient ruins and broke the kiss. He gritted his teeth and summoned swift wind spirits to investigate the entrance. Their ethereal forms swirled with urgency as they darted towards the source of the disturbance.
           Whoever dared to step foot in here will not be spared. He already warned them if they wish to be spared from his wrath. The archon's eyes, usually serene, now flickered with an intensity born of both irritation and vigilance as he awaited the wind spirits' report.
           Upon checking, a lone maiden was standing near the wind barriers. She placed the bouquet of Cecilia flowers on the altar created by the Church for their offerings.
           "For Mondstadt, as always. For the verdant plains, for the hills, and for the forests of Mondstadt. May they continue to flourish, as always. For Mondstadt, as always. For the everlasting freedom of Mondstadt from the blizzard and the tyrant, whose coldness and oppression are one and the same.”
           What a peculiar girl letting herself drenched in rain. The rain was strong and despite the bad weather, she still offered her prayers to him.
           “Oh, Anemo Archon. I do not wish for anything but for the good health of my mother. I implore you to please guard her against illness and adversity,”
           Her prayers echoed in his ears. Barbatos crossed his arms and watched her from afar through the eyes of the spirit he cast. A lot of things have changed in Mondstadt. The city, the village, and even Stormterror’s Lair where he currently resides with you.
           He didn’t pay any particular attention to the changes outside of the ruins. But he did notice many of his people frequently visited this area to pray and ask for their blessings. Perhaps someone from the Church must have noticed him and thought this was his abode, and decided to create a shrine here, but also making sure it won’t ever disturb him.
           It’s been a while since Ludi Harpastum ended. He didn’t want to admit it but he’s been counting the days since you’ve been asleep. From minutes to hours, hours to days, and days to weeks, he never left your side. But he didn’t merely sulk in the corner, waiting for signs of you waking up. Unlike before, he decided to terraform the ruins to make it more to your liking.
           He remembers very well that you love the garden of the manor, so he made a special area for you. He remembers you love your library in the tower, so he prepared lots of books for you to read. He remembers the fountain you’d always whisper your wishes at, so he built it for you. All these things he had done, he did it for you while he waited for you to open your eyes.
           The very essence of his being intertwined with the elements, breathing life into the desolate ruins. As he lifted his hands, a harmonious dance of nature began.
           The once crumbling tower regained its majestic stature, rising from the ground as if it had never suffered the scars of time. Petals of vibrant flowers cascaded in a gentle descent, wrapping around the structure like a colorful embrace. An intricate tapestry of blossoms adorned the surroundings, replacing the debris and rubble with a carpet of nature's beauty.
           The Anemo Archon had woven a tapestry of renewal and growth, turning the dilapidated ruins into a sanctuary of life and vitality. The air was filled with the sweet fragrance of blossoms, and the ambiance echoed the melody of his power, a testament to the god's ability to shape the very fabric of the world.
           He made the once rubbled, stormy lair into a sanctuary haven for his dear. It’s his gift for you that once you’re awake, you’ll dance around with him and live the life with him you’ve always dreamed of.
           He must admit though, the shrine built by the Church of Favonius was exceptionally well made and further enhanced the beauty of this sanctuary. Barbatos sighed, contemplating if he should aid the young girl by sheltering her. He never meant to become a ruthless archon and that is far from his ideals.
           His drastic change was all because of Aether. Of course, it was him. He’s too smart for his own good and Barbatos hates how quick he is to catch on to his relationship with you. But he’s here to change everything. So if he wanted to make a good image as an archon to his people, then so be it. After all, he only wanted your perception of him and that’s all he cares about. Nothing more, nothing else.
           He’ll make everything right this time. If you see him as reliable and trustworthy, then he’ll be loved by you. Finally taking his decision, he ordered his little spirits to guide the girl to find shelter. As for her prayers…
           Barbatos is no genie. He couldn’t guarantee all of his followers’ prayers. He’s not like the Dendro Archon who could cure illnesses…
           He sighed, the weight of his responsibilities settling on his shoulders. Being an archon was not a walk in the park. The expectations of the people, the intricacies of diplomacy with other nations, the constant struggle to maintain balance—all of it took its toll. Barbatos couldn't afford to let his guard down.
           News about his rampage must have reached his neighboring countries and he doesn’t want another burden to be added to his already tumultuous situation. As he watched the wind spirits guide the girl to safety, he couldn't help but feel the isolation that came with his position.
           The tower, now restored, stood as a symbol of his power, but it also harbored the secrets he desperately wanted to keep hidden. Aether's presence had disrupted the delicate equilibrium he had crafted, forcing him to confront the challenges that came with being both a god and a man.
           His thoughts circled back to you. Would you ever understand the complexities of his existence? The burden he carried for Mondstadt and its people? As the archon, he had to maintain an image, but beneath the divine facade, there was a being struggling with the desire for love and understanding. He also wanted you to see him as Barbatos.
           Not the Anemo Archon, but simply Barbatos, a young man who loves you through Celestia and Teyvat. Who harbored feelings for you for millennia.
           He shook off his inner turmoil, his eyes focusing on the horizon beyond the borders of the sanctuary. The wind carried whispers of prayers, and he knew he couldn't fulfill them all. The duties of an archon were exceptionally hard, and the struggles were his to bear. The winds howled in response, a melancholic melody echoing the challenges he faced.
           He sighed for the nth time, exhaustion began to creep over him. He placed the back of his hand over to his head to ease the throbbing pain of a migraine. The constant internal conflict and the strain of maintaining appearances were taking their toll.
           As he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he summoned a gentle breeze to soothe his troubled mind. The rustle of leaves and the familiar scent of the wind helped him find a moment of peace amidst the chaos. He turned his back and returned to where you were.
           Barbatos kissed you on the lips and it calmed him, more effective than the breeze he used to himself. You’re always his cure, the one constant that brought tranquility to his turbulent existence. The soft touch of your lips against his was a momentary escape from the weight of his responsibilities. As he pulled away, a faint smile played on his lips, grateful for the solace you unknowingly provided him.
           “I promise you, I’ll make this our sanctuary.”
           At the end of his lonely world, maybe he’ll arrive at his true world with no regrets or remorse.
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taglist: @trust-the-oxygen @so-uncute
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sorry for the delay on the update. i announced on my tumblr that i would be posting this chapter in late august or early september but a lot of things happened and i self-sabotaged this sob
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postoctobrist · 2 years ago
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I could just look this up but I think it's more interesting to ask actual people about these things, so apologies
As a person who knows nothing about Islam, I gotta ask - what's the deal with the giant black cube?
Oh man I love talking about our cube! The cube is called the Kaaba, which means ‘the cube’. It is very holy (you are meant to be visualising it as a sort of aiming point every time you pray) but it isn’t secret, and a lot of people assume it is inherently mysterious.
So many pre-Islamic Arabian cities, including Mecca, had a cube. These served as public shrines and housed idols of the pagan gods of that city. A lot of them also housed or had embedded into them meteorites, because something falling from the sky is pretty easy to worship.
Our cube, the cube, is believed to be the site where way back in the day Ibrahim (Abraham, if you want) built a house of worship to God. Over time as monotheism lost out to pagan polytheism its original purpose was lost and people use it as a shrine and copy the form of that shrine elsewhere.
For any Muslim narrative, one of the things that Muhammad does as a prophet is to kick Arabia back onto the monotheism from which it had fallen away (into ignorance, jahiliyyah). So when Muhammad re-enters Mecca he goes to the Kaaba and smashes all the idols inside with a staff while saying that ‘truth has come and falsehood has vanished’ - in some tellings of this he preserves a statue of the infant Jesus and Mary but places it outside. What happens next is a kind of religious compromise where he Islamifies (well, God does, but he’s the one telling Muhammad what to do) bits of the Meccan pagan religion. So the cube stays, the meteorite in it, a black stone, stays, and the Meccan fertility rite of tawaf where people circled the cube naked gets changed so you have to wear clothes and it isn’t horny any more. A mosque is built up around it. Eventually the direction you face during prayer is changed from towards Jerusalem to towards the Kaaba. And from then until now Islamic practice in relation to the cube has not really changed.
FUN CUBE FACTS
It’s not the same building Ibrahim built or the same building Muhammad resanctified. It has fallen down in earthquakes or been destroyed with catapults an alarming number of times and then just rebuilt in a very practical way. The current incarnation dates back to 1626.
It’s not black - in high winds or when it’s being changed, which it is yearly, you can see under the black and gold cloth covering, the kiswah, and see the granite blocks underneath:
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The kiswah also doesn’t have to be black. It’s a pretty firmly established tradition now but it’s been red, green and white at various times.
It has an inside. There’s nothing secret about it like the Holy of Holies, every year a bunch of dignitaries get to go in and clean it. There’s nothing material important in there, that being sort of the point:
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The little cabinet has cleaning supplies, perfumes and the like. If you pray inside the Kaaba you can face in any direction, plus I like to imagine you unlock a fun little achievement.
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talonabraxas · 11 days ago
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☩ Archangel Gabriel ☩ Talon Abraxas
The white angel light ray represents the purity and harmony that come from holiness. This ray is part of the metaphysical system of angel colors based on seven different light rays: blue, yellow, pink, white, green, red, and purple. Some people believe that the light waves of the seven angel colors vibrate at different electromagnetic energy frequencies in the universe, attracting the angels that have similar kinds of energy. Others believe that the colors are just fun ways of symbolizing the different types of missions that God sends angels on to ​help people. By thinking of angels who specialize in different types of work according to colors, people can focus their prayers according to what type of help they’re seeking from God and his angels.
Archangel
Gabriel, the archangel of revelation, is in charge of the white angel light ray. People sometimes ask for Gabriel’s help to: understand the messages that God is communicating to them so they can grow in holiness, clear away confusion and achieve the wisdom they need to make decisions, obtain the confidence they need to act on those decisions, communicate effectively to other people, and raise children well.
Crystals
Some of the different crystal gemstones associated with the white angel light ray are ruby, onyx, red garnet, jasper, and obsidian. Some people believe that the energy in these crystals can help people feel more confidence and courage, stand up for their convictions, and change negative attitudes and behaviors to positive ones.
Chakra
The white angel light ray corresponds to the root chakra, which is located at the base of the spine on the human body. Some people say that the spiritual energy from angels that flows into the body through the root chakra may help them physically (such as by helping them treat back conditions, nerve pain, and immune system conditions), mentally (such as by helping them develop more self-esteem and feel more secure in their relationships with other people), and spiritually (such as by helping them break free of materialism so they can shift their attention away from temporary things and toward holiness that has eternal value). Strongest Day
The white angel light ray radiates most powerfully on Wednesday, some people believe, so they consider Wednesday to be the best day of the week to pray especially about situations that the white ray encompasses.
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