#prayers appreciated I guess just….life and still missing people even though I know it wasn’t healthy for me to stay

[aceofstars16]

My brain: time for emotions

Me, knowing why but also just wanting to go to sleep: oh, okay

[vibratingbones]

I am at your side

Words: 4k

Tags: Angst(?), argument, fluff

FemaleReader x Galadriel 

As her maid, it is your duty to report informations to Lady Galadriel, even if they might break her...

First Age

It was such a beautiful morning. Autumn offered its shimmering colors, red and golden leaves contrasted with the whiteness of the early frost on the grass.

You were standing at a window on the Menegroth’s Palace, taking some moments to appreciate the beautiful landscape of Beleriand before going back to your work.

You were Lady Galadriel's maid, the one who organised everything around her so she wouldn’t be interrupted in her duties by something trivial. You were at her service to anticipate every need she might have and to provide a solution to any problem she might encounter in her everyday life.

Needless to say you were constantly by her side and a great trust had built between the two of you over time, so much that you were introduced to the other members of the court as not a mere servant, but her lady companion. You take great pride in this and in your abilities in your work.

Your gaze was fixed at the sunrise, progressively illuminating all the realm of their Royal Highnesses Thingol and Melian.

With your eyes closed and your arms opened, you take a deep breath of the early fresh air and let the mist caress the skin on your face as it fades away before the sun.

You were glad to be able to move here with your Lady. Due to your trade you didn't really have the occasion to travel around the world. You were delighted to hear Lady Galadriel required your presence during her residency in Menegroth, and you were determined to make this stay the most refined experience for the both of you. After all, not everyone got the chance to learn from Queen Melian in her own city.

It had been almost a year since you both moved to Menegroth, and though at first, Lady Galadriel dedicated all her soul to her duty, you could say that her beautiful enthusiasm had slightly... faded. 

She still assumed her charges with great rigor, but you could see that her heart was not there anymore.

It wasn’t your place nor your right to ask her about it ; if she wanted you to know she would have already told you. You knew the best way to help her out was to do your job properly and you were determined to do it impeccably.

Luck was on your side as the royal couple had to gone to inspect the Girdle of Melian, the work schedule of your Lady is reduced. She could take a day off to enjoy all Doriath had to offer and relieve some stress.

When you opened your eyes again, Arien’s ship illuminated the realm before you and her light slowly reached the Palace. It was now time to get to your work. As you walked away from the stone arches to the stairs, you started thinking about the morning of Lady Galadriel. A hot cup of tea in a cold and relaxing bath would be perfect to start her day.

You walked down the stairs and corridors, your feet following the rhythm of an old melody the King Finrod once taught you. 

He was always nice to you when you were young, and even as a king he seemed so approachable and open minded. But still, he was an odd character. He always seemed pleased, whenever the circumstances were and you find his...interest for mankind misplaced. You didn't hate humans, far from that, but the less they interfered with the Elves, the better the both species lived. Everything was fine in the royal family before Princess Lúthien met that man... Berin? Beran? It didn’t matter. King Finrod also seemed to have him in sympathy and it worried your Lady, but there was nothing to do about it. You just hoped her older brother was alright, with his oath to accomplish.

You finally reached the kitchens. Everyone has already started their work and you had to prepare the light meal while trying to avoid all the agitation. You almost got hit by a plate on your head, but a quite fair waiter flew to your rescue and you avoided a catastrophe... But not a sideslip on the floor... With some condiments... With the waiter.

“Dear Lord! I am sorry Miss, this platter is truly heavy and I couldn’t concentrate on obstacles on my way, I should have paid more at—”

You stopped him with a gesture of the hand. Obviously he was new on the job. It was pointless to start a scene in front of his colleagues. Even if his clumsiness had just ruined your dress. 

“It's alright, boy. Just remember to watch where you’re going and always distribute the weight correctly,” you said, rearranging what was left of the items on the silver surface to illustrate your words. He watched how your experienced hands moved to learn from them. 

“Here! Just like that,” you added with a comforting smile. He smiled back at you with embarrassment and gratitude before his boss called him back to hearth with vehemence and he flew away to his task. You watched with amusement until his superior glared at you, clearly inviting you to get back on track.

While you were gathering some fresh fruits in a cup, you couldn’t help but to observe her methods to lead the brigade of servers, and Valar... You thought you were hard with your subordinates, but you have room for improvement! Maybe you should borrow some of her methods... No, your subordinates would hate you for sure.

The poor boy, thanks to this little misadventure, had caught her attention and she was ready to scold him at every minute mistakes he could make, barking at him in front of all their teammates, who had the decency to mind their own business. You guessed that perfection and adamancy are prices to pay to be able to serve the greatest people in the world. It reminded you of your own debut as a maid—how many times had you had to keep your jaws crushed closed in front of your superiors? Too many for your taste, to be honest, but you were the boss now, thanks to the discipline and the abnegation they taught you. It was hard, but it was worth enduring. 

Before you left, you glanced back at the servant and the barking butler. She was still harsh but demonstrated more efficient ways to navigate through a crowd with weight. You smiled to yourself. He would be alright. He just needed time to gain some experience. And you, you missed time to change your clothes. Bad luck ; it would have to wait. You had already run out of time, and picked up the pace. 

On your way, an ellon between some columns caught your eye. The Lord Celeborn. You had already noticed Lady Galadriel’s interest in him, and his in her. Or rather, you had "unintentionally" overheard a conversation where he admitted it to one of his friends. And you were maybe, or maybe not, the reason behind some of their encounters in some strangely convenient, quiet, intimate places. 

He surely didn't suspect a thing from you ; you know how to make yourself transparent next to your Lady. But you were almost certain that she knew. 

She just let you plot. Surely it amused her : she once told you that your sneaky side reminds her of her cousins, some redheaded twins. She went quiet when you implied you didn't have the pleasure to know them. You didn't try to know more. 

You would have loved to learn one or two other things about Celeborn, but you were already late and in a messy state. How unlike you! 

While you traveled through an unreasonably huge room near the entrance, you heard the sound of a massive wood door slamming against a wall and a bunch of rushed footsteps. You overheard some hushed and stressed voices among the clatters of armor. Had something happened to their Highnesses? If so, your duty would be to inform your Lady, so she can advise for the future.

As you got closer to the entrance, some other attendants and companions of the nobility were already gathered with some guards, undeniably those who have just returned. The moment you reached out to them, the leader of the patrollers was silencing the little crowd, a broad smile on his face. 

"Peace! Peace, please. The divine providence has given us back our Princess!" 

Murmurs and prayers of relief browsed the assembly. At last, the Princess was finally home. You also felt relieved. The eight of months of worries and sorrow will finally be removed from the shoulders of their Royals Highness! 

The captain hushed the group again, with a more concerned expression. 

"You! Go find the healers and conduct them to the Heir and her human consort. They have been injured during their journey. You! Take a horse and gallop to the King and Queen, hurry!" 

The Princess was injured? Assuredly it's not a pleasant thing, but she was alive and with her loved one. The House of Thingol was now safe… So why did you feel a pressure in your throat? When you looked at the captain, you felt a deep unease, as if he would add something terrible. You waited, holding your breath. 

He seemed to seek someone in the crowd with a concerned gaze.

“Is someone here under the order of the Lady Galadriel?” he asked.

Valar… Here we go. You cleared your throat and responded with a confident voice.

“I am!”

He spotted you in the multitude and started approaching you while the others followed his orders. You straightened your back, to give an assurance. He guided you away from the other and you asked under your breath.

“What’s the matter?”

He looked at you dead in the eye and replied.

“Miss, it is about her brother. Something happened to King Finrod…”

--------------------------------------------

You felt sick, your feet guided you through some corridors to Lady Galadriel's apartments but your vision was blurred. You couldn't stop thinking, so much information swirled in every direction in your head… 

The Princess, the silmaril, the tea, your dress, your Lady, the oath... King Finrod… You felt the nausea rising in your throat. 

How?

Why?

Your head spun so much you had to take support on the wall, the heart right behind your lips. How were you going to announce this to Lady Galadriel ? Her dear brother. They didn't deserve this fate. 

The rest of the court has been warned the Princess was back, but the truth about King Finrod was confidential, at least for now. You distinguished yourself from the opulent cheerfulness and felicity with your pale face. All the songs of gladness couldn't reach your heart, closed by the truth.

Now, stay focused! You had to inform your Lady. What kind of aid faints while giving news to their master, as bad and terrible as the news could be?

As you get back some senses, a light tune reached your ears. The crowd in the Palace was singing in joy and among every melody in existence, they have chosen the one Finrod taught you. What were the odds…

You finally reached Lady Galadriel’s door, heavy hearted. As your hand was about to knock, all the past few weeks with her instantly flashed in your mind. Her odd affliction who grew up so suddenly, tainted her fëa. And now this…

You took several seconds and a deep breath before knocking. You waited again for several seconds before hearing a response.

“Come in.”

Her voice was firm as always, but a little muffled. You swallowed and entered the room with the most neutral face you could feign. You definitely couldn’t step in with a huge smile like nothing happened, but you couldn’t alarm her either.

You found her in a chair by her balcony. You were glad it was oriented to the waterfalls of the mountains and not to the inner garden were everyone was singing, at least you had some privacy.

“Good morning, milady. How is the view today?” you asked, walking to a table to serve the tea.

Okay, you surely had more inspired lines before. 

“It’s nothing new,” she replied.

She, also, had better comebacks. 

You observed her while you brought a cup. Seated on a low chair, she silently observed the horizon. Her complexion reflected her exhaustion, with darker tones under the eyes and waxen cheeks. She hugged herself, and you mentally traced the circuit of veins under the skin of her arms that were now visible.

The blond of her hair was now dull, you remembered from the last time you groomed her mane: the comb emerged with many wires of fallen hair, which is highly unusual for elves. You tried to inform her casually, and she then refused to be curled by someone else than herself since.

Your throat twisted more at the sight of the elleth who once was an unwavering lady. 

Even thought she was able to disguise her state under a mask of dignity and fool everyone else, inside her room, in the intimacy of her private cocoon, you could only watch the diminishment of her health. Day by day you saw her fading with a constricting feeling of helplessness. 

“Are you well?” 

Her question brought you back to reality, you realised you were standing next to her, silently staring at her while she waited for her cup. Now that her face was turned to you, you could see the fatigue in her eyes… 

"I'm sorry, my Lady. I'm fine… " you answered, "... While you savour your tea, I will prepare you a bath for you to relax."

You desperately needed time to clear your mind and prepare yourself. This was also her last peaceful morning before long, she deserved some time for herself before you broke her heart definitively…

"Wait."

You stopped dead on your tracks. 

"My Lady?"

"Stay with me, I would enjoy some company this morning."

Without a word you filled an empty teacup and took a chair beside her. 

"Thank you. My tea always tastes better when I drink it with a friend," she added with a sweet but low voice. 

You gently clattered your cups and admired the colours of the waterfalls under the morning sun. You just took a cup for the act, to please her, but felt like you could never take a sip of it. While you both remained silent, you could sometimes hear the sound of footsteps rushing towards the hall with some giggles. You played nervously with your goblet, knowing that you couldn't keep the truth from her eternally, that you should tell her now before she hears it from someone else in a far less convenient situation… 

But you couldn’t…

You were out of words.

Everytime you tried to tell her, your words got stuck in your throat or disappeared the moment they reached your mouth.

How could you possibly tell her that her beloved brother, the most gentle soul you had come across in your millennium life, was dead? His body was buried so far away, she wouldn't be able to mourn him at his sepulchre… 

You looked at her, to engrave her vision in your memory. She looked so frail at this moment, would the news finish her off? Would she lose her will and seek to join him?

And you? Would you be able to endure it? To lose her?

After the death of the brother, could you handle the loss of your Lady?

Your...

oh...

so dear...

Lady

Your sunshine.

A gentle touch on your cheek wakes you up from your trance. 

Your gaze was still fixed on Lady Galadriel, as she brushed off a single tear rolling out of your eye.

“Talk to me, my dear. What happened? You are usually so jovial, but your fëa is submerged by shadows today.”

You couldn't help but to rest your head in the warmth of her palm. 

You were deplorable, she was the one who lost her brother and she was the one comforting you. You clenched your jaws and removed all your tears with the back of your hand.

“My lady, I am sorry to present myself to you in such an inappropriate state.” 

You take a deep breath as you rose up from your seat to gather yourself.

“My Lady, I do have something to tell you!” 

Your own words seemed to strangle yourself, but you were able to keep an assured voice.

“This morning, her Highness Princess Lúthien came back with her human consort to the court, safe and sound."

You were about to continue when you saw her cower. Somehow, this information seemed to trouble her immensely. 

You watched her shudder, unsure how to continue this conversation now. 

And then… 

It just clicked in your mind. 

Your eyes widened, dead silent before your sudden realisation.

"You knew..."

———————

She looked up at you, with a silent pleading in her eyes. 

You didn't want to believe it, but it would explain everything. 

"You knew… He would never return, and you just let him go."

"I did not just let him go!" she replied with a voice filled with anger. 

She let a frustrated sigh escape but remained calm. 

"I did know what was going to happen. I foresaw it the day he described to me his first encounter with mankind."

You just sat in silence on your chair again. You didn't want to interrupt her. 

"I warned him his passion towards mortals will harm him, but he just stayed still with the most elated smile I have ever seen…"

She looked right in front of her, reviving the instant, as if King Finrod was really there with you. 

"He just said: Let it be, sister, for if it is my destiny to die at the side of men, I will take it as an honor.He was so confident, so determined. I knew I wouldn't be able to make him reconsider… I'm sure you know it is impossible to say no to him when he makes up his mind...”

Oh yes, you knew.

 “It happened such a long time ago… I even convinced myself my vision was nothing more than a projection of my fears and not a fragment of the future. I even.... managed to forget about it. Until he announced to me about his oath.”

Her voice cracked while speaking of  this... accursed oath. You started to sense the ire slowly rising in your veins. Why did she had to suffer all of this ? 

"Everything came back in my mind with such force. I tried to convince him one last time, but… I knew I wouldn’t succeed. For his destiny was already decided… his death was for a greater good that I can't see yet."

She stopped, out of breath, as if speaking required too much energy. 

You both jumped out of your skins when some younglings started to bange at all the doors of the corridors while gigglings and yelling about the return of the Princess. It looks like celebrations revealed the most silly side of the younger generation. 

Lady Galadriel stood up to regain a certain composure, her gaze at the horizon. 

A strange silence between you hung up in the air after the laughs of the younglings, deafening and stifling but it was still more comfortable than the reality of your situation. You had the childish thought that if you didn’t speak about it then it wouldn’t be real anymore, that you could open the door of her apartment and King Finrod would have been behind it the whole time, just wanting to surprise his cherished little sister.

Alas, reality has rarely resorted to such niceties. Happy endings are for old melodies.

Surely this is why we sing them…

"It pains me greatly… Never again I will wake up to his harp morning practice. He loved so much to see his city awakening under his notes. Never again he will come to me to aid him with his accounting." She chuckled a little. "He hated it!" 

"I know! I spent several sleepless nights helping you because he couldn't help falling asleep while working on it," You added while joining her side on the balcony. "I am sure we both know the economic state of his kingdom better than himself!" 

You both laughed at those memories.

It felt right, it felt… liberating. 

But she quickly became silent again.

"When we were children, he promised me he would guide me to the altar the day of my wedding if our parents couldn't… He already had his costume ready, way before I found my soulmate."

Indeed, it sounded just like him. 

"Now I would have to descend the aisle alone. It is the only promise he won't be able to accomplish."

Tears fell down silently from her exhausted face.

You were sympathetic to her but you couldn’t fully understand the depth of her pain and distress for none of your loved ones had died. You could only imagine what she was going through and offer her warmth and little comfort.

"It pains me so much it is killing me. I can feel it, deep in my flesh. It started..."

“... when your brother died,” you guessed.

“Yes. The very moment he passed away, his voice reached me. I heard his wail in my sleep and his last scream keeped me awake for the rest of the night until you came in the morning.”

You remembered. You found her sitting on her bed oddly straight and tense. Her gaze was fixed in front of her, but seemed lost to the void. Her ailment started to appear the day after. You scolded yourself for not investigating more and accepted her excuse of a "bad night," even if she wasn't properly lying.

To be awakened by a loved one's final call must be the most dreadful experience. 

"I still hear him, you know? Everytime I close my eyes, his pleading haunts me. Every night, his cries reach me." Her voice began to be more erratic and she began trembling again. "I see him in every shadow, I catch his silhouette in the corner of my eyes but he is never here when I turn my head." 

She was fully crying now. You had never seen her like that, in such distress. 

So you overstepped your position and took her in your arms. You held her in a tight embrace to support her, for she could not fall apart. 

"Please my Lady, calm down."

She did not respond at first, but you finally felt her arms around you, pulling you even closer as if you were her last grasp on reality at this instant. 

"I see him everywhere. I know he is not here, but I can not let him go…"

You stayed silent again, while wanting to say something. Anything. But words are vain in those moments. Only time is able to cure such wounds… If they could heal at all. So you just held her tighter and let her head rested on your shoulder while feeling her tears soaked through your dress. She buried her face in your neck. 

You weren’t sure how much time passed that way and you just started to cradle her gently. You were certain it was inappropriate but you feel like if you didn’t have to follow the protocol and the etiquette for once, it would be now!

You listened to her, made her sure you were attentive to her pain and offered the warmth of a presence.

However, you were not prepared for what she was saying next. 

"I am sorry…" 

Her voice was so low and hoarse, you were not sure of what you had just heard. 

"For what, my Lady?" 

"For my lack of bravery… I have to be strong for my people, particularly now, with the chaos that is to come. But… I feel so helpless! I can't clearly see the threat which rises upon us, I have not been able to prevent the death of my brothers… …”

You moved away from her, incredulous, and locked your eyes to hers.

“You are brave! Braver than most of us, many could not do your duty as well as you did under mourning. Don’t lose faith in yourself. We are all with you… I am with you.”

You took a step back and knelt before her. She watched you quietly in confusion.

“I wish to reassert my loyalty and take an oath of allegiance to my Lady.”

Head bowed and right hand closed over your heart, you started to declaim your vows with an assured voice. 

“Here, I swear on my head I shall faithfully perform my duties to the best of my abilities. I shall never embarrass or bring shame over the House of my Lady and her Blood...”

You raised your head to see her face with a sight full of determination.

“But above all, I swear to follow you everywhere, in Light as in Darkness, in Arda as in oblivion, in honour as in infamy. To be faithful to your Person and your Name, and to never leave your sight at any given time during our earthly lives and beyond death.”

Galadriel listened to you respectfully, her tears drying while she regained her composure. 

She silently gave you her hand, which you kissed and brought to your forehead almost religiously. 

“Rise up.”

You obeyed, now determined to protect and serve your Lady at all cost and your instinct told you that it will happen sooner than you could imagine. 

She observed you quietly as she was taking the measure of your words. She placed a chaste kiss on your lips to seal your vows. 

You secretly wished the kiss was more lingering, but you kept it for yourself.

“Thank you,” she responded. 

Her breath was still short, but her voice had regained her assertiveness. 

You both turned back to the waterfalls, the songs slowly reached your ears again now that the emotion started to come down. 

In fact, everything seemed more clear now. You felt lighter, as if a blindfold had been removed from your eyes as the fog dissipated under the rays of a morning sun. 

You had now faith in the future.

At the side of your Lady, together, you felt confident you could face anything destiny had prepared for you.

--------------------------------

Specials thanks to @arofili​ for their help during the entire process ! ❤️

This is my first fic, constructive criticism will be much appreciated :)

[razorblade180]

Shackles Finale: Free

[Part 12]

Destiny is a fickle thing. For some it’s real, and for others it’s as fake as fairy tales. No matter what however, time still goes on. Things still happen. Ruby was never one to think too hard on the topic despite all she’s been through. However, as she walked into Menagerie’s hospital soaking wet from the extreme downpour happening in the middle of the night, Ruby couldn’t help but wonder if it was destiny to test everyone’s resolve; or karma coming to collect.

Her self imposed mission had been going well. Adam cooperated, Blake planned ahead, and things progressed steadily. It should’ve stayed like that for three more months. Unfortunately things don’t always go as planned. Jacquelyn went into labor early, too early. The woman woke up today looking fit as a fiddle. Who could’ve guessed she would be fighting for her life today? Her, and her daughter?

Hospital staff were in a frenzy from the storm just like the public. It made getting to the back where everyone was without suspicion easy for Ruby. Certain doctors were notified ahead of time of the complexities of their patient and precautions had already been in place for Jacquelyn and company to have no disturbances. Though nobody factored in an unhealthy birth creating this island’s worst storms to date. Ruby made it to the sealed off waiting room. What should’ve been a haven of calm was another conflict. Blake stood arms folded and ears back in the way of guards and her conflicted father while Adam sat behind her, silent.

“You know I expected more from you, Saber. That goes double for you dad.”

The man frowned. “Blake, this wasn’t my-”

“We have held our end of the agreement.” Saber interjected, “Adam was to be free until the child was born. Not my problem that day came early.”

Blake grit her teeth. “You know damn well that’s not why I’m standing here right now!” She said through her teeth. His kid had just been born moments ago and just like that, she was rushed to intensive care. Meanwhile Jacquelyn was slipping in and out, her body failing her during the labor. “Let him see this through.”

“What good would it do him to hear terrible news? He’ll lash out for all we know. That can not happen in a hospital!”

“You just want to kick him while he’s down!”

“AND FOR GOOD REASON!”

Okay, Ruby had enough. “HEY!” She yelled, gaining everyone’s attention. She brushed her wet hair out of her face. “I set up generators across the island. No one's gonna lose power. I also told people Menagerie’s guards were making their rounds to make sure everyone was accounted for. I don’t mean to overstep being an outsider and all but…” her eyes burrowed into Saber’s “Get to work.” It wasn’t kind or even right necessarily, but Ruby didn’t care.

Feeling the pressure, Saber made the wise decision to take his people and leave. Ghira looked at Blake with guilt in his eyes for letting it get this far. “Listen I-”

“You know I understand mom not wanting anything to do with this, but I didn’t expect this from you. It’s like you’re trying to create every reason to push him back into old habits and make all this worthless. We will hold up our end of the bargain, so teach them what you tell me and have some patience.”

Ghira didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. There was caution, and then there was insensitivity. He had no words, just a nod before walking away.

Ruby grabbed his arm in passing. “She knows this wasn’t your call. Blake is stressed. Your house still has power. Ilia is with Kali trying to calm down Sienna and Sun is helping check on people. Maybe you should go home too?” Ruby smiled softly. She knew a worried father when she saw one. Ghira needed something to do.

“I appreciate the concern Mrs. Rose, but I think I’ll just stand guard outside this room.”

“Understood, and hey, things will work themselves out.” Ruby let him go and headed from one worried feline to the next. “You know he’s not to blame right? He’s just…trying to keep everyone connected.”

Blake let out a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I know that, and I also know he’s not going to lose me. But right now I really need everyone to not jump the gun. Thanks for keeping the peace. Maybe I should’ve paid more attention to your leadership skills.”

“I just got snippy with faunus officers on their own island. Really testing my boundaries with my status as an important huntress across Remnant.” Ruby patted Blake on the back. “You should go check in on the doctors. I’ll do my job watching our person of interest.”

“Okay.” Blake looked back at Adam. He stayed quiet throughout all of this, eyes closed and arms crossed. He must’ve figured the best thing he could do right now is not look threatening. “I’ll let you know first if anything changes okay?”

He still didn’t move but that didn’t stop him from speaking. “Thank you.” He heard Blake run off in a hurry while the sound of chair legs rubbed the ground in front of him. Adam opened his one good eye and saw Ruby sitting in front of him with her scroll in hand.

“You know…I can’t remember when a day has felt this long.” Ruby sighed, “Moments like these is enough to just make you want stop time ya know?”

“I don’t need sympathy.”

“Wasn’t giving any. Just venting I guess. My husband sent me a text. I’m missing a very important arrival today; not that it’s your fault by any means. I just know it’s gonna be grounds for a conversation later that might get feisty, again.”

Adam could see how tired Ruby was. The normally energetic woman was leaning back in her seat, eyes closed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t take long missions then?”

“Pfft nah. I don’t regret helping where I can. Besides I didn’t know until after I took the mission. Things will work themselves out though. That’s how family works. Believe in each other and the impossible happens.”

“I know what you’re doing. It’s not gonna work. Just stop talking okay?”

Ruby pursed her lips. Years of leadership didn’t prepare her talks like these. She had to say something though. It was hard to explain, but Ruby could feel the importance of this moment. Good or bad news, bottling this up would make anyone go insane. Ruby reached down her shirt and lifted her necklace. It was a silver cross with red roses wrapped around it. She took it off and dangled it on her fingers, scooting closer to Adam.

“My dad and uncle gave this to me on my birthday. They said…sometimes you need a piece of faith when you don’t have any yourself. I’m not really religious but apparently my mom used to pray after she knew there was nothing left she could do herself. Hehe, it’s a Rose mentality.” Ruby put it in Adam’s hand and curled it. “Don’t tell anyone this, but it’s pretty cool that you are your own kind of rose. Makes me feel like we’re connected in a way. Keep that. I know it’ll fit you.”

Adam remained quiet. He stared down at the trinket in his hand until his vision blurred. His body trembled. Slowly he clenched the cross. “I have no right to pray for anything. If destiny or whatever you want to call it exists then it’s only fair I get punished.”

Ruby frowned, “Hey that’s-” she cut herself short, not expecting Adam to put his other hand over the cross; his forehead pressing against them as he closed his eyes.

“Punish me.” He uttered weakly. “Me, not them. Leave everyone else out of it.” The first and only prayer he’ll ever make. His life could be at destiny’s whim forever as long as the ones who fought for him didn’t get burned.

Ruby stood from her seat and knelt down, grabbing his hands and joining the prayer. All while Ghira watched silently from the entrance.

For several hours, It was out of everyone’s hands. A roll of the dice, luck of the draw, fate, gods, destiny, whatever anyone wanted to call it; that was the only thing left and no one dared to keep track of the time out of anxiety. It was a scary, humbling feeling for certain. It was also the purest reminder that life wasn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people, hard work is left with nothing, and sometimes… a sinner’s prayers get heard.

The doors flung open with Blake breathless. “Adam…” she panted, eyes bigger than the smile on her face. “She’s-” the tears shed caught her off guard. The two roses stared blankly before Adam stood. Blake moved out of the doorway and he took it as a sign. ‘Run.’ Adam ran and no one dared to stop him.

“Back room.” Blake said, walking to her father. Ruby got up as well and joined the two. Blake looked at the red faced girl. The feline giggled softly while wiping Ruby’s tears. “And here I thought I knew how big your heart was?”

Ruby laughed as she tried to stop sniffling. “It’s not what it looks like. Seeing him sit there with his demons like that, it reminded me of how my dad and uncle qrow used to look when mom was brought up. Sorry, got a little compromised.”

“Welcome to the club. Dad, sorry I-”

Ghira wrapped his arm around Blake. “Don’t apologize. I tell you to take things slow and yet I tried rushing to the end of this. I’m sorry. I can’t say what lies in store for Adam next, but I suppose…I’ll have to keep more of an open mind. He’s earned that much.”

Ruby shook her head and sighed. “If I’m being honest, personally I think everyone has been a bit silly. Including my lovable sis. You all make it sound like he’s been trouble free for six months when that isn’t the case. I can’t say if he’s been perfect or not but the fact that Remnant thinks he died at Argus has to mean something, right? I certainly can’t link him to any world threatening incidents since then. He’s been minding his business for a couple years now. Is locking him up really gonna change anything? I mean it wouldn’t matter if Cinder was in or out of jail for me. I’d still be wary and pissed. Your men’s feelings about him wouldn’t change because of a cell. But hey, that’s just me.”

Ruby put her hands behind her hand and walked off. “I’m gonna step out for a moment and make a call.” She looked out a window. To her surprise, the rain had stopped. Ruby dialed Yang’s number. “Hey sis! Beautiful day to start a family. So, what’s my precious little niece’s name?”

xxxx

Adam reached the back room and pushed the door open to find Jacquelyn in bed, startled by his entrance before giving him a grin. Her skin had a sickly yellow dinge to it and she was covered in sweat. Still she smiled, holding a small infant as doctors looked at vitals and did their work.

“Awe, have you been crying? I’m sorry. Guess we gave you a fright.”

One of the nurses looked at the maiden like she was crazy. “Ma’am you slipped into a coma. Please don’t try and move around much.”

“I was a little tired, that's all. Heh…guess we finally found something I’m not good at? That’s un- oh…” Adam put his arms around her and the baby. Odd, to think he could hold something this gently? His presence soothed her into leaning into the embrace, humming quietly to both him and the new arrival. A premature baby with red hair, and tiny horns.

The doctor, naturally sworn to confidentiality, watched from the sidelines. “I’d like to congratulate you with confidence, but these two aren’t out of the woods yet. While I expect Jacquelyn to bounce back with time, your daughter is pretty frail. We have her stable for the time being but the heart is a complex organ even when fully developed. We’re going to have to keep her for a while just to make sure she’ll grow up healthy. Rest assured, I will do everything in my power for her.”

“Thank you.” Adam looked at his daughter’s round face. She opened her eyes to reveal two pools or bright blue. “Hmmm.”

“Something wrong?” Jacquelyn asked.

“She’ll have a hard time, with these features going for her. I was hoping she’d look more like you.”

“Oh hush. She’s beautiful like this. Though maybe I am a little jealous she doesn’t have my hair. Still, real big fan of those eyes.” She kissed his cheek. “We’ll do our best and then some.”

The doctor pulled out some paperwork. “Now then, I’m going to need a name. Her record won’t be too expensive in terms of…background history, but she’ll need the basics as best as possible. Especially in her condition.”

“Wanna name her after your mother, or even your sister?”

Adam shook his head, “I think we already have enough namesakes. Let her be free from that. You decide. I was never really good at these kinds of things.”

“Oooo okay. Don’t come crying later if you think of a good one. A free spirited name for our little kid.” Jacquelyn giggled to herself. “Got it. How about we name her…”

“Hehe, That’s a perfect name.” The two roses spoke.

[jewishtwilightrenaissance]

Two Become One

Notes: Since I myself am a Jew and both the culture & faith is really important to me, I wanted to add that into the story to add some depth and something for the characters to bond over. I got really emotional about it towards the end, but hopefully it just adds to the story!

Also, this originally started as a ‘Life and Death’ fic with Billy’s female version, Bonnie Black, but I really wanted to celebrate OG Billy first. So let me know if y’all want to see that, too!

Context & Plot: The reader is in their mid-20′s and has just recently moved to Forks. By being a member of the Forks Intracommunal Committee, the reader happens to meet Billy Black, a Quileute Council member who serves on the Forks Committee with her. They strike up a friendship that soon evolves into a romance.

Word Count: 3,048

“____!” A familiar voice cut through the din of the committee, drawing your attention from your notepad. You looked up and over your shoulder to see Billy Black wheeling towards you with a bright smile on his face. “How are you?”

“Billy, hi. I’m good,” you answered. As Billy approached the table, you nudged the folding chair on your right to one side to allow enough room for his wheelchair. “Meeting’s about to start. You got here just in time.”

He hummed in response. “I had a few things to take care of back home. Namely Jacob and the other kids,” Bonnie added with a chuckle.

Somewhere in your chest, you felt a muscle tighten. You’d heard plenty about the escapades of Billy’s youngest child, a rowdy teen who just so happened to be about 10 years younger than you. That in and of itself wasn’t a bad thing, but it did remind you that you were at least 20 years out of Billy’s age range. You bit back a sigh and turned your attention back to your notepad, eyeing your hastily scribbled notes and doodles.

You and Billy exchanged a few more pleasantries before the meeting officially started a few minutes later. A few local business owners and church leaders brought up whatever it was they had to say but in all honesty, you had trouble concentrating on them with Billy sitting right next to you. It was ridiculous - you were a mature adult who had left her puberty years well behind her, but sitting next to your crush made you feel like a teenager all over again. His long hair,  dark eyes, his smile - they were all so rich and full of life, full of energy just like Billy. And like a damn prepubescent, you’d fallen for it all.

A nudge against your thigh caught your attention and you blinked yourself back to reality. Billy was leaning in your direction, one arm braced against his wheelchair, and there was a note pushed into your line of sight. ‘Today is more boring than usual. I think I caught Hank dozing off.’ You let out a quick breath through your nose and bit down on the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.

Grabbing your pen, you wrote back, ‘I think I almost caught myself dozing off,’ and passed the note to Billy’s end of the table. Crush or no crush, Billy was also your best (if not only) friend in Forks and you loved the absolute hilarity of passing notes with your 40+ bestie in the middle of class a meeting.

Eventually, the meeting came to a close and it was your turn to share with the committee (and hopefully no one would be ignoring you like you had been earlier). Energy was thrumming in your fingertips as you anxiously gathered and regathered your notes and pen, 15 sets of eyes on you. You cleared your throat.

“So as I hope you all remember, Forks’ spring interfaith gathering will be in 2 weeks time on the 21st. First, I want to share how excited I am.” By now your nerves had turned to eagerness, and you rubbed your palms together with a smile. “But I also want to say thank you to everyone here for allowing me to run this event, seeing as I’m so new to the community. I especially want to thank Father Thomas, Pastor Martinez, Pastor O’Callaghan, and Billy Black for working with me and allowing me to work with their communities. It really means the world to me.

“I also have some really awesome news regarding the event. As you all know, there are no synagogues or notable Jewish communities under an hour away from Forks. But I’ve managed to reach out to a few Jews individuals and families in the county who are going to be reading some prayers and scripture with me. Other than that, I don’t have anything else to update you on. But I’m excited to see everyone there!”

Some scattered applause and supportive remarks followed your announcement before the committee leader brought the meeting to an end. After fielding a few questions about the event, most of the committee members had started to leave. Billy, you noticed, had stayed behind, as if he was waiting for you. Or so it seemed, if the curious shine in his eyes was anything to go by.

You raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Yes?”

“I received an interesting letter in the mail this morning,” Billy said, the corner of his lips twisting into a knowing smile. Your cheeks immediately flushed and you dipped your head to avoid his gaze for a moment, as if you’d been caught red-handed with your hand in the cookie jar.

“You did, huh?”

Billy laughed; music to your ears. “You really didn’t have to send me a thank you card, ____.”

You shrugged, looking up a little shyly through your eyelashes. “You’ve made me feel really welcomed here, Billy. Not just as a fellow committee member, but as a friend. Inviting me into your home, introducing me to your family, everything! It really means a lot. I-I... I just wanted to show you that I appreciate it.” And, you added to yourself, I guess it doesn’t hurt that I have feelings for you.

There was a tenderness to Billy’s eyes that made you feel some type of way. You could tell he was touched by your gesture.

“Thank you.” He backed away from the table and waited for you to follow suit. Once you had gathered your things and pushed your chair in, he started wheeling alongside you, keeping pace with your footsteps. “If your offer still stands, I’d be happy to come over tonight.”

You could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat. When you first sent out Billy’s letter, you’d invited him to come to your place for Shabbat dinner as a way of showing your thanks and also respect for his culture by sharing yours in return. You may have also had a little bit of wine at the time and had plans on making the evening romantic-coded.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d really want to join me or not,” you said hesitantly. “But-”

“I do. Like you said, there aren’t many Jews around Forks and certainly not out in La Push. It would be good to learn more about your people and traditions, the things that are important to you.”

You caught Billy’s eyes and smiled. “Like you did with me.”

G-d, you were such a sucker for his shining eyes. Deep and dark like the forest itself, like the rocks and sand on the beaches, like rich coffee grounds at the bottom of a mug.

He nodded. “Yes.”

By now, the two of you had left the meeting room behind and were in the parking lot outside. The sun was peeking through the heavy cloud cover while a gentle misting of rain swirled in the air. You could see that Billy’s truck had been parked a few spaces away from your own.

“It’s close to 4:30,” you said after checking your phone. “I’m lighting my candles around 6 tonight. Did you want me to give you a ride to my place or would you like to come over a little later?” You’d hardly given Billy a second to think before adding, “I still have some cooking to do, but you’re more than welcome to relax while I do that.”

Billy nodded thoughtfully. “You have any beer?”

“I may have one or two cans that I saved just in case you were ever over,” you admitted.

“Then what are we waiting for?”

Shabbat evenings were always hectic for you and this night was no different. Between keeping your challah from burning, keeping an eye on the clock, ensuring the rest of the food was kept warm without overcooking, and making sure Billy felt comfortable and welcome in your home, you were sure you’d gained a few gray hairs. Luckily, though, dinner was ready at about the time the sun finally set and the twilight hour descended.

After setting the challah on your best dish (your challah board and cover was still missing in the abyss of your unopened moving boxes), serving up two plates of food and placing them just so on the table, you dug out your candlesticks and shabbos candles. Billy watched you silently as you wrapped the bottom of the candles in foil and balanced them in the candlesticks.

“The candles are meant to stay lit until they burn out,” you explained. “It’s just easier to clean up this way.”

You fidgeted with the silverware at your place setting, then the vase of flowers in the center of the table, then finally sighed and let your hands fall to your sides. You’d been so anxious about wanting to put on a good first Shabbat impression for Billy that you’d forgotten the night was meant to be enjoyable for both of you.

Billy, it seemed, had picked up on your anxious energy and kindly said, “It looks wonderful, ____.”

“Thanks.” You chewed on your bottom lip somewhat thoughtfully, giving the table a final glance over. “I suppose we should start before the food gets cold, huh?”

You pulled out your chair and settled down as Billy moved his wheelchair into the open space across the table from you, his hat placed on the couch behind him. The tiny box of matches rattled when you slipped out a match and lit it. The warm, comforting glow of the candles soon followed and you felt your anxieties dissipate in response. You circled your hands once, twice, three times over the flames, drawing their light in towards your body. You took a breath - in through your nose, out through your mouth - and let your eyes flutter closed, your hands hovering above them to block out the extra light.

“Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.” Then again, in English. “Blessed are You, Adonai, Ruler of the Universe, who sanctified us with the commandment of lighting Shabbat candles.”

When you opened your eyes again, you looked across the table at Billy and saw the reflection of the candles flickering in his eyes. In that moment, bathed in holy light, he was stunning. You gasped and smiled and committed the moment to memory as he gazed back at you, wordless yet clearly moved. Your cheeks were already starting to hurt from smiling so broadly.

“Shabbat shalom, Billy,” you all but whispered.

His eyes, large and all-consuming in their beauty and warmth, drew you in. “Shabbat shalom.”

After the lighting of the candles came one of your favorite songs, the song that welcomed in peace the Sabbath angels into your home. You offered Billy a short explanation of the song’s meaning before finally singing your own rendition. He was silent the entire time and you hoped that he didn’t feel left out at all, but the emotion shining in his eyes told you that your worries were the farthest thing from the truth. Next, came Eshet Chayil, recited in English from your old siddur. And finally, Vayechulu and Kiddush.

Your voice started out as a whisper, recalling the holy memory of creation and the day of rest as first practiced by G-d Himself. Prompting Billy to repeat after you, you raised your glass of wine. “L’chaim!” There was an indescribable joy in seeing Billy participate in your culture, in hearing him say something as simple as a mere l’chaim and knowing that he honored it, respected it, and honored and respected you as well. It was because of that realization that your heart swelled with pride and tears threatened to choke your words as you finished the Kiddush blessing.

“Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us with his commandments and favored us. And given us in love and favor his holy Shabbat as an inheritance, as a remembrance of the act of creation.” Here your voice faltered. In the presence of someone you loved, in the presence of the Sabbath angels and even the Divine Presence itself, you felt the calling of your people. “For this day is the beginning of all holy days, a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt. For you have chosen us and you have blessed us from among all the nations.” Indeed, you were chosen. Like those who had come before you, G-d chose you to be His, to be given the gift of His commandments. And in this moment, you were choosing to share that inheritance with Billy, to give him a window into your world to see it in beautiful detail. “And you have bequeathed us your holy Shabbat in love and favor. Blessed are you, Lord, who sanctifies Shabbat.”

Both you and Billy were left speechless once the final words of Kiddush left your lips. You felt raw and exposed, bare for Billy to see every detail, every flaw, every crease and line from your body down to your soul. Is this how he had felt when he brought you to the reservation and showed you his own traditions, welcomed you into his home and shared the stories of his people? Did he know how highly your regarded him, his people? Did he understand that you could see that same regard in his eyes as he watched you now?

Your voice cracked when you finally spoke again. “Billy.” You swallowed nervously as a number of mixed emotions began to bubble inside you. “Thank you for being here tonight.”

“It’s my honor.” His voice seemed raw.

You reached across the table with an open hand. He gently placed his hand in yours and you both smiled. “Can I tell you something?” He nodded, his eyes again catching the light of the candles. “I like you.” Cringe. “I really like you. More than a friend.” Billy remained silent, only raising his eyebrows in an entirely imperceptible expression. “I know this might be weird to you. I don’t know. And, I mean, the chance of you also being interested in me is so low. I get that. No matter what, I want to be your friend. But... but having you here tonight, after learning about you and your people, the traditions you hold dear, and after sharing my own with you, I realize that I want to share more with you.

“I want to hear more about all the trouble Jacob’s getting up to and how your daughters are doing. I want to hear more about what you have to say about the things that are important to you, even if it’s just some stupid football game.” Billy chuckled and squeezed your thumb. Your heart was pounding deep in your chest as if it were going to explode. “I see you, Billy. And I know you see me, too. And I never want to stop seeing you.”

The room was silent. So silent that it was almost uncomfortable, except for the occasional crackling of the candles. Billy, still quiet and with an unreadable expression, slipped his hand from yours and moved his wheelchair back. Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. You retracted your arm as if you’d been burnt and held it against your chest. You wanted to look away, you didn’t want to see his expression turn angry or disappointed as you were sure it would, but you also couldn’t tear your gaze from those deep, dark eyes.

“Fuck, Billy, I’m sorry.”

Your face fell into your hands. What the hell had you been thinking? What had started out as a beautiful evening was starting to go to shit all because you had to open your dumb mouth.

“____.” Billy’s voice drew you from your inner-scolding. He moved around the dinner table and came to sit beside you. “Don’t apologize.”

By this point, the several sips of wine that you had taken earlier were starting to create a buzzing sensation in your stomach. And Billy’s sudden close proximity was making the buzzing more intense. Oh no.

You felt the skin of his hand rest on your arm; he was warm. “You’re right,” he whispered. “I do see you. I always have.”

You and he had never been quite this close before. You could see in detail the creases at the corners of his eyes, the few stray hairs of his eyebrows, the stubble along his neck and chin. You wondered what aspects of your face stood out to him as his eyes flitted across your features. Billy’s smile was what finally did you in. Were you blushing? You suddenly felt very hot.

He moved his hand from your arm and pushed himself forward until his knees bumped against your chair. Turning in your seat and folding one knee under you, you were able to fully face him. Billy’s gaze dropped to your mouth and paused, and you suddenly either felt like flying or like vomiting.

“Billy?”

You couldn’t have said anything more if you wanted to. Billy leaned forward, took your chin in his hand and guided your mouth to his. Like his hands, his lips were warm. His warmth spread across your mouth and down into your chest where your heart was doing backflips. Blindly, you pawed at his arms, his jacket, trying to find something sturdy to hold onto to remind you that this was absolutely real. Billy’s hand trailed from your chin, across your jaw, and around the nape of your neck where his fingers finally curled into your hair.

A sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan escaped you and Billy swallowed it. Gently and hesitantly, you gave him a little nip on his bottom lip. His lips parted just slightly, his breath hitting your teeth, and you quickly ran your tongue along his skin. He smiled, gripped your hair a little tighter, and then pulled back.

This time when he said your name, it was sweet, reverent. “You’re certainly full of surprises,” he murmured.

You smiled breathlessly. “What can I say? I have no excuse.”

“Thank you,” he said again. “For telling me, for tonight-”

“The night’s not over yet.”

Billy smirked. “No. No, it’s not.”

[gubes-sweaters]

Mind, Body, and Soul 5

Authors note: Hey, so it's been a while oops. I’ve been writing one-shots in between writing chapters 4 and 5 only because I wasn’t sure where to take this series, but I’ve figured it out and now I’m back. I still have 3 or 4 one-shots written that still need to be edited. This chapter has a couple of switches of the POV. Sorry if it’s a little confusing, but it’s the easiest way to write the story. Also, I know Gideon and Rossi didn’t work together in the early season, but I’m changing it. I realize the TL of a lot of the members is off, but it’s all intentional for the story.

Content warning: Nothing I can think of, but don’t be afraid to tell me about a warning I should put in.

Word count: 2.7k

Chapter 5: New Member of the BAU

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

I shift under Spencer's grip trying to reach my phone as it's ringing. He’s such a heavy sleeper that by the time I wiggled out from his arms and grabbed my phone he was still sleeping. He just rolled over before snoring very quietly. I look at my phone and see it's my dad! Shit, I was supposed to meet with my dad at ten today and it's already eleven. I'm not even ready this is such a disaster, what am I supposed to tell him? Oh, don’t worry dad I’m just busy because I’m in the back of this guy’s car and I slept through my alarm! He’s going to kill me because I'm supposed to meet some of my dad’s work friends then go out to lunch with him.

“Ciao papà,” I say trying to sound like I'm awake. He can probably see through my bullshit though because I'm a shitty liar, and he's a profiler.

“Where's my bambino and why isn't she at the BAU right now? My colleagues want to meet you.”

“Sorry, I spent all night studying and I must've slept through my alarm I'll be there as soon as possible,” I technically lie to him I did sleep through my alarm.

“Okay...well, I love you. I have a security badge ready for you. All you have to do is tell security who you are and you're here to see me,” He's clearly not convinced but I don't think he cares enough to press the issue.

“Okay, love you too. Bye!” I hang up then turn to Spencer trying to wake him up.

I shake him over and over until he finally stirs. Seriously how the hell does he sleep so heavy. Once I get him up I explain that I’m supposed to have lunch with my dad and I’m supposed to meet his coworkers now that he’s coming out of retirement for whatever reason.

“Okay, yeah give me a second to clean up the back, and we can take you back to your apartment,” He says while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Thanks,” I say before planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He blushes at me before signaling for me to hop out of the trunk. We make a collaborative effort to clean out the trunk and sit the back seats back up. We then get in the front and make small talk on the way back to my apartment. Once we arrive I feel that pit in my stomach again, the same one I feel every time one of us has to leave.

“Thanks for yesterday!” I say before turning to open the car door with the bear we made yesterday. When I asked who's keeping the bear he jokingly said we’ll split custody and I guess this is my week. Before I could open the car door he placed his hand on my forearm very gently like I was made out of glass. He has this pained and disappointed look on his face.

“Can I see you again?” He asks just barely above a whisper.

I just respond with a nod and a quick kiss before I hop out of the car and wave goodbye. All I see is a wide grin on his face and a wave before I disappear into my apartment building. I knew Stella and Raven weren’t home because neither of their cars was in the parking lot. That meant I could get ready quickly and slip out of the apartment without any questions being asked.

I set the stuffed bear on the bed and begin getting ready. After I shower, dry my hair, brush my teeth, apply a small bit of makeup, and slip on a sweater and jeans I’m finally ready to leave. It’s only one pm, so I'm not making a horrible time given that I was already late. I then practically drive like a mad man to the BAU. I stop at security and tell them I’m here for my dad David Rossi. I get directions to the floor and where my dad’s new office is. I walk into the bullpen and see two very familiar and comforting faces, but the others belong to complete strangers. I immediately spot my dad’s old partner Jason Gideon and the Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. I met them both when I was in middle school, but the rest of the team was new to me and my dad as well. He’s been there for a couple of months since his book tour was just now ending. As soon as Gideon sees me he walks towards me with his arms outstretched.

“Hey kiddo it’s been a long time. I may be getting old, but I’ll never forget that face.” He says while engulfing me in a hug. Honestly, I talked to Gideon probably more than my dad growing up. This is odd because he didn’t have the best relationship with his own son, but he was always like a cool uncle. Then the same click happened to me and Aaron Hotchner when we first met. He always wanted kids and some of the only times you would see him smile and laugh was around kids. He and his wife Haley jokingly called me their test run when I would spend time with them. When my mom and dad were both busy I spent a lot of time with Haley because I didn’t want to be with a nanny.

“Hey, guys!” I say before hugging them both once more.

“So, how’s school been? You’re not getting into any trouble are you?” Uncle Jason asks before nudging me as the three of us walk towards my dad’s new office. I can see two people’s eyes on me from the bullpen then suddenly a third when a blonde woman who doesn't look much older than me comes strutting out of her office flashing me a quick smile.

“You know me, I’m David Rossi’s daughter, so I seemingly can't stay out of trouble,” I joked with them as we arrived at my dad’s new office. It had a shiny new nameplate that said “David Rossi” on the front of it. Gideon knocks and I feel a wave of nostalgia. I remember in the 6th grade visiting my dad at the BAU and walking up to my dad’s office hand in hand with Gideon. Now I’m much older and much taller, but much hasn’t changed. After a few seconds, my dad opens the door with a huge grin on his face I swear he hasn't changed since I was a kid. He still wears overly expensive suits and a watch that probably would pay a year and a half of my rent if not more.

“Ah, there she is. Oh, how I’ve missed you,” He says before eloping me in a bear hug.

“Come I want you to meet my other co-workers,” He says as the four of us walk back down the stairs where a small conglomeration of desks are.

“Everybody this is my daughter (y/n),” My dad proudly says while the three people went to introduce themselves. The first being the woman walking out of the office earlier. She is tall and blonde. She looks a little young to be a profiler though.

“Hi, I’m Jenifer Jareau, but you’re more than welcome to call me JJ. I’m the communication's liaison,” She says as she sticks her hand out for me to shake. After a woman with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes also extended her hand out to me. She was wearing a tan leather jacket with a black top beneath it and black dress pants along with tan ankle boots.

“Hi I’m Elle Greenway, it’s nice to meet you these three have been talking about you all day,” She says while gesturing towards my dad, uncle Aaron, and uncle Jason. Lastly, a tall very muscular man walks up to me with an awful lot of confidence. He’s wearing a tight heather gray t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Accompanied by his gun sitting snugly on his hip.

“Well Hello I’m Derek Morgan and you must be an angel,” He says forgetting that my dad is standing right behind me either that or he doesn't care. I shake his hand before my dad clears his throat not amused by Morgan's antics.

“Well, now that you’ve met my team it’s about time we went to lunch. Aaron don’t hesitate to call me if something pops up about that DC hacker case,” He says as we walk away and Uncle Aaron just responds with his usual very stern-looking face and a slight nod.

“DC hacker?” I ask as we exit the bullpen and make our way to the elevator.

“Let’s not talk about work. I want to know about school how are you?”

“I’m doing good I guess I've been a little distracted as of recent but I'm keeping myself on track I promise.”

“Atta girl,” He says before the elevator doors open, and he leads me out to his car.

-----Time Skip----

“So how are Raven and Stella I haven't seen them since I went to sign the lease again last year.” I can tell what he’s doing he’s making awkward small talk, so he feels like he's an integral part of my life. I appreciate the effort and I can’t shit on him too much because at least he’s making an effort. So I’ll play into this and make him feel better for the time being. I’m hoping that he doesn't feel like utter crap because we have nothing important to talk about besides this DC hacker case that I can’t get out of my mind. I haven’t talked about it since we were in the car because he clearly doesn’t want me to know anything about it since he keeps dodging my questions.

“They’re doing pretty good. I mean we don’t have any classes together this year because our majors are somewhat different, but we live together, so we're still close.”

“Oh, how's that friend you were telling me about? Penelope Garcia, that's her name right?” He asks as he leans in close to me. If I didn't know any better I would think he's shamelessly profiling me right now. We continue to talk about school and my friends throughout lunch. For someone who has such an extra and boujee person, he didn't talk about himself at all. Which is not my dad's usual behavior at all.

“Well, that's good to hear. So I was thinking after lunch maybe we-” As if God himself answered my prayers my dad's work cell starting ringing. I can hear small mumbles from the blonde woman I met earlier I believe her name was JJ. I can't exactly make out what is going on but either way, I'm taking whatever excuse I can get.

“I’m sorry sweetheart I’m going to have to cut this short that was a call from work. On the bright side, I’m not going to be on my book tour anymore, so whenever I have a day off we can spend time together.”

“Of course!” I say trying to humor him.

“Well, I’ll drop you back off at the FBI building.” He says before flagging down the waitress to pay for the check.

----Rossi’s POV----

I walk back into the FBI building after dropping (y/n) off. Aaron, Gideon, and I feel terrible for using her to get information. I feel the worst out of the three of us because I promised her after going back to the BAU this time would be different, but she's currently just another pawn in a game she didn't agree to.

“So what do we have Aaron?”

“Follow me to the round table we got all of the information needed from another technical analyst in the building Kevin Lynch.”

As Aaron and I walk into the room JJ is giving Gideon, Morgan, and Emily all of the information we need to know.

“This is Penelope Grace Garcia. She is a 28-year-old female. We didn’t have many people to contact for information on her because her birth parents are no longer alive. Her parents passed in a car accident ten years ago that was caused by a drunk driver. Since then she has seemingly lived a low profile life and has managed to stay under the radar when it comes to the justice system. We have been able to get enough evidence on her because of her close relations with David Rossi's daughter (y/n) Rossi. We are going to bring her in for questioning. She’ll likely have no prior knowledge of interrogations because she’s been able to fly under the radar. That also makes her extremely cocky, and she’ll think that we have no information on her. Our job is to be as docile yet forward as possible. We want to be docile, so she’ll trust. She has so much skill that Strauss approved for us to recruit her into the BAU. She’ll be of more use to us than she would be in jail. That’s all for now.”

As JJ finishes with the profile we all gather our things and mentally prepare ourselves for the interrogation. I was advised to stay out of it just in case she knew I was (y/n)’s father. Given the fact that she’s an elite hacker that isn’t such a farfetched statement.

-Hotch’s POV-

“You have two options either you can serve jail time or you can work for us at the BAU,” I tell her just before Morgan walks back into the room.

I have her make a quick resume, so we can hire her onto the BAU. I think she has potential and that she’s just putting up a tough front. I have to give her props though because I’ve seen grown men crumble a lot easier than her. Once we’re able to strike a deal with her I have Morgan unlock her cuffs. I make sure Morgan knows to tell her that she can’t talk about any of this with (y/n) for a while especially since the case involving her isn’t fully closed.

-(y/n) POV-

I finally make it back to my apartment when I get a text from my mom asking how lunch with my dad went. As I unlock the door to my apartment I text her back and let her know that it was okay, but dad was acting super weird. I told her it seemed like he was interrogating me. She just let me know that it’s out of habit because he’s a profiler and it’s not that big of a deal and to not read too much into it.

I feel like there was something that I had to do but I can't remember. It’s not until I check the calendar on my phone and realize Daisy’s birthday is in two days and I didn’t get her anything. I’m far too lazy to leave my apartment for a second time today which was supposed to be my day off. I also don’t want to go alone maybe I should text Spencer and see how busy he is.

Me: Hey, I have a birthday party to go to on Saturday. I still need to get her a birthday present would you mind coming with me tomorrow?

Spence: Sure, what time should I pick you up?

Me: How about 10?

Spence: Sounds good I’ll see you then :)

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Taglist: @haylaansmi @rexorangecouny

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 11: Discharge Plan

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: The highs of Shane and Sy’s first weekend as a couple are followed up by some big news from Sy, leading to our couple’s first fight.

Don’t miss a session! Click here to catch up on this story or explore my other works!

Word Count: 2.7

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, sort of unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, angst, alcohol consumption,

Author’s Note: First off, I wanna talk about the word “victuals.” I’ve loved this word for a long time, even though it makes no sense, phonetically as it actually rhymes with the “fiddles” or “riddles.”(It’s true, look it up!) It’s very pastoral and somewhat archaic, so you don’t hear it too much anymore in current writing about the present, but I just felt like Sy would say it. Secondly, it was really hard for me to put my darlings through the argument in this chapter. I want them to have only happy times…but that provides no tension or motivation for story development…and I want to keep writing them more than I want them to be happy… I guess I finally understand why authors torture their characters! Lol! It might take a bit of time for me to sort out what their relationship looks like adding the distance factor, but I have some ideas that might work. Also, it might be an opportunity to do a bit more of Sy’s perspective, which I thoroughly enjoy, and may go back and fill in some blanks for him in between chapters I’ve already done. I hope you all enjoy this installment of the Treatment of Captain Syverson! Feedback in any form is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

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@wheretheriversrunintothesea

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

The rest of the weekend was spent in blissful relaxation. Sy went to his place to feed Aika and bring her over at Shane's insistence. The dog had been slightly standoffish with her, but Sy assured her that it was in her nature to be aloof, and that she needed to be engaged or instructed to behave more doglike.

"It's her training. She's still a soldier. It's hard for us to shake those habits. Like me calling you 'ma'am' at first."

"She's another die hard. I respect that." she chuckled, scratching Aika behind her perked ears, and eliciting pants of contentment from her.

Sy's skills with a spatula were unmatched. That was to say, he made the best pancakes she'd ever had. They almost didn't need syrup…almost. They ordered an obscene amount of Chinese takeout which lasted them about three meals each. Sunday evening, though, which had a gloom to it no matter the circumstances, required some comfort food. They agreed on pasta, so Shane made up some of her famous alfredo sauce and probably twice the recommended portion of pasta for two humans to consume. There were no leftovers. Sy had three helpings, himself. Three heaping bowls of it. Shane couldn't handle more than one and a half servings, even though she wanted to gorge herself. She knew too much would make her ill.

When they weren't eating, the were cuddling on the couch, or in Shane's bed. They watched more Parks and Rec, and a few other films and shows that Sy requested, just to break things up. Their bodies were constantly wrapped in each other, leading to frequent bouts of making out, fooling around, and sex in almost every room of the house.

Her favorite had been the shower. She insisted on getting cleaned up, but Sy had objections.

~~~~~~~~

"I'll be less than ten minutes, come on, I reek! You can't wanna kiss me when I smell like this!" she said, trying to shut the bathroom door on the human mack truck before her. Broad and formidable.

"You smell like sex, and…me, darlin. I've never wanted to kiss you more," he said, backing her up toward the shower doors. "but I guess if you must. Lemme help, though." he pulled open the glass door, forcing her into his captivating kiss, and maneuvering her backward into the walk-in, stone tile shower. He pulled off her tank top, capturing her breasts in his hands and mouth for a moment before kneeling to remove her shorts and kiss her thighs. He pulled himself away too quickly and started the water flowing.

"Sy, you're fully dressed!" he was barefoot, but otherwise, in jeans and her favorite of his tees. The letters DILLIGAF across a skull, black on red. She always laughed on the inside when she saw it. Because although Sy often had to put on a calloused and brusque act when he'd been an officer in the Army, he was terribly soft and sweet when the occasion called for it. The irony being that although he didn't look like he gave a fuck, he actually did.

"I've got more clothes in the truck and you've got a dryer." he maneuvered her under the pulsing stream of the showerhead. "Gotta get you wet." he let the water run through her hair as he reached for her shampoo, a coconutty concoction that reminded her of summer, squeezed a bit into his hand, and lathered it up. He worked the suds into her wet hair gently, raking his nails across her scalp in a way that excited and ignited every atom in her. She sighed at his touch which made him groan with need.

He tilted her head back to rinse the lather out and reached for the conditioner. He was a bit more generous with it than strictly necessary, but she didn't protest. He pulled her hair forward in two sections, one over each shoulder and worked the emollient into the strands. His hands slick from the product, he ran them over her breasts and her abdomen and hips…between her legs. There her own arousal was primed to combine with the tropical unction. She gasped as he worked his fingers over her, slow at first, but speeding up, only to slow again. When she finally whimpered in frustration, he undid his jeans, and backed her up to the stony grey wall, not giving a fuck, as his shirt had suggested, that he and his clothes were getting soaked. His only care now apparently, was to satisfy the simpering cries of "yes, please." from Shane.

His first few thrusts were slow and measured, knowing that she was still adjusting to his size. But it didn't take long for him to lose control. She wasn't sure what was making him like this, but she was not complaining in the least. The texture of his jeans on her bare, wet thighs was a sensation she wouldn't soon forget. She gripped at him, holding onto his shirt for dear life as her climax built to impossible heights.

She was loving the way he lost himself in the ferocity of the act. And his release led to hers immediately. She wrapped herself around him in blissful embrace, and whispered his name as a prayer.

"Sorry, darlin,' I meant to…"

"It's okay. I'm on the pill and I'm not at a particularly dangerous time in my cycle."

He kissed her tenderly and reached for her bath puff and some body wash. "Well, let’s get ya cleaned up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only good part about Monday was that she'd be treating him. Although, he was scheduled in the afternoon. Her morning would drag on eternal.

He greeted her with a typical "hey, susnshine" and she led him into the gym, feeling his gaze on her ass, wanting, even though they'd just left each other quite satisfied that morning. He was freshly showered, beard well groomed, and his hair growing back in very nicely. He'd asked her weeks ago whether he should keep the buzzed look or not, and she had been entirely for growing it out. She wanted something to run her hands through. She'd be fine if it was at least shoulder length, but she wouldn't push that on him.

They did their normal warm up on the bikes, followed by some plyometric drills, which made him scowl at her in a way that lit her up like a firecracker. But the fact that he was able to jump up onto the box was encouraging. He couldn't have done that a month ago. He was progressing so well and was so close to his long term goals and discharge. It almost made Shane sad. It wasn't as though they wouldn't see each other, but having him break up the insanity of her day three times a week for just an hour was invaluable.

As they were doing their usual end of the session stretch in her treatment room, and she noted the improved range of motion he was getting, he broke the amiable silence with a question.

"Hey, can I bring a pizza or somethin' over for dinner tonight after you get off?"

"Sure!" she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. She prodded. "Everything okay? You've been a bit…off today."

"I'm good. Just a little distracted." he deflected by touching her hip, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She swatted him away.

"Not here, Sy."

"But that makes it fun!" he pouted.

"No, that really could get me fired! Getting frisky on company time!"

"Mmmm, I'd love to frisk you right now." he reached between their legs to try and grab her again, but she thwarted him and pinned his wrists at his ears.

"Cool it, cowboy, or your last two sessions are gonna make you wish you'd never met me." she threatened.

"Ain't nothin', nothin' on God's good green earth could make me wish that, sunshine." His stunning blue eyes softened her resolve and she let go, continuing to stretch him.

"Still…cool it." she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd just had time to change into some comfy clothes, wash her face, and put her hair up when her doorbell rang.

Sy stood smiling under the porch light, a modern white knight, carrying a large pizza from Pizza Hut and a six pack of Miller High Life.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! And it's nice to see you too, Sy!" she laughed, teasing him.

"Should I leave the victuals and go?" he asked, mock concern on his sarcastic brow.

"Get in here, soldier."

She got out napkins and paper plates because as horrible as it sounded, she just couldn't think about doing dishes tonight. She was even glad Sy had brought drinks in disposable or recyclable containers, and not wine, which she tended to prefer. She was exhausted, but not upset, which made the silence they ate in bearable. Sy still seemed to have something on his mind, though.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about tonight, Sy?"

"Kinda, yeah, uh…it's kind of a big thing for me, and I know this is new, what we have, but…well, I'll just tell ya."

"Go on." she encouraged, worried.

"I…I talked to my old CO about jobs in the private sector. He referred me to a company that…well it's sort of an employment agency for vets. Mostly security for private companies and individuals. I had a phone interview with them this past Tuesday. I just got a call this morning that they want to meet me in person to finalize everything. Mostly a formality. When I go for that, I'll also have to stay there a couple of weeks to a month for training."

"Where is this…gig?" She said, flat affect hiding the feelings brewing under her skin.

"The offices are in Charlottesville…Virginia. And there may be some cross country training there in Shenandoah National Park."

"Cross country…by that do you mean survival training?" She was still cool, but getting more livid.

"You could call it that, I guess. But it won't be a challenge for me. I'm more worried about the technical stuff." His bravado and flippancy about the whole endeavor was enraging her. The thought that he'd be in the wilderness alone, was only a fraction of the big picture. He was going away for a month? And he had known about the job for a week now. A week in which so much about their relationship had changed, and shifted. How could he think she'd just accept this without a bit of raging.

"You waited until after we slept together to tell me this. You did it on purpose, Sy." that was the biggest problem, she thought. The fact that he seemed to be hiding it from her. It brought back old trauma that she thought he'd never have subjected her to.

"Yes and no, Shane. I wasn't intentionally keeping anything from you, I just didn't wanna bring it up until somebody bit."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark about something you were excited about? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I didn't wanna get your hopes up or mine. Honestly."

"Saying 'honestly' doesn't make it honest, Sy. I've told you about everything that Elliott put me through. The lies. The secrets. This puts a bad taste in my mouth. You have to see that. Can't you?"

"Oh, sunshine, I--"

"No, please. Do not do that right now. Don't call me sunshine when all I can see is the night."

"I'm so sorry. My intention was not to make you feel in any way like that asshole ever did. Please hear me when I say that. I want to be the opposite of him in your mind in every way, darlin.' Please believe that."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, now nearing tearfulness that she felt he must be telling her the truth. She nodded. But was still apprehensive about the nature of the job and the training.

"But…what if you get hurt again?"

"I won't. You've all but fixed me, Shane. I'm stronger than ever."

"Can't you just…find a safe job? Here?" She was being selfish. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew she might regret it.

"Sit at a desk, ya mean? Deliver pizzas?" he indicated the box between them on the table. "Call people and ask them if they're happy with their cable services, Shane? Is that all I'm good for now?" he was angry.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, of course not. You're a PT. That's what you were meant to do, right? Well, imagine if you couldn't do that no more. Something or another, an injury, perhaps, or just plain ol' shitty situation, left you in a position where you couldn't go back. Couldn't do your dream job. Couldn't fulfill your purpose." he spat. "Wouldn't you do anything you could to be some shadow of what you were meant to be?"

She couldn't speak. Because he was right in so many ways.

"Because right now, I'm nothin'. I'm not doin' anyone any good. I'm a drain on my country, the one I swore to protect with my very life. It's like I've broken an oath. And it's fractured my soul."

"I see that. I truly do. But I need you here. You do ME good, Sy. I'm already half dreading d/c'ing you. I don't wanna have to say a goodbye, too." it was her truth. But it hit him very much sideways.

"So…what is it, Shane? You only want me when I'm broken? You only want me so you can fix me?"

"No, of course not! That's not what--"

"Am I a charity case to ya now? Is that why ya finally gave in and let me in your bed?"

"Sy, no!" she was crying now. It had hurt so much to think that he could have gotten that from what she'd said.

"I think if you can have feelings hurt about this situation then so can I."

He stood to leave, but she caught him by the wrist.

"Shane…you know I would never, ever harm you. But please… don't test my limits. Let… go." She did.

She was still quite a bit faster than him, so she ran ahead and blocked the door.

"Move." he insisted. She didn't.

"Hear me out, and then I'll let you go."

He crossed his arms and nodded, his gaze still one of cold steel.

"Sy, I didn't mean to make this job that you're clearly excited for into a source of anguish or to make it about me. I'm thrilled that you're going to get to do something you want in another field. I really am. I just…being with you has made me realize how good life can really be. And even if you'd told me before we slept together, I would have said the same thing. It was selfish of me to haul my baggage into the conversation when you aren't, have never been, and could never be Elliot. His best couldn't compare with your worst. And I will do my best in the future to think about who you are before I complain about the work you find to do."

"It's like I said about Aika before. She's a soldier. Hard trained. And so am I. It took a lot of hard work for me to get where I am, so much that it fundamentally altered who I am as a person. Now, in my opinion, those changes were for the better. I was kind of a shit before I became a soldier, thought the sun rose and set with me. I got some perspective and met some good people…lost some, too. Saw some shit I can't unsee. Some of it haunts me to this day, and I figure it always will. But I reckon if I can keep fighting the fight somehow. Keep protecting people in whatever way I can, my training and experience won't be a total waste."

"I understand and respect that, Sy. And I will back you in any way I can. I'll water your plants, I'll keep Aika whenever you're gone, I'm here for you."

"Oh, shit! I wasn't even thinking about having to leave my dog behind! Maybe this WON'T work!" he chuckled.

"Second fiddle to another woman already. I knew you were gonna break my heart, Captain Logan Syverson."

"Never intentionally, sunshine." he hugged her, tight, and with his whole body. Their argument in the past and their future an exciting mystery. Shane had never felt so safe and loved.

Up Next: Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

We’ll be free

Pairing: Billy Batson x Reader

Warnings: Mention of drug abuse and possession

Word Count: 1.4K

Summary: Billy Batson tries to get into contact with his girlfriend who he left behind after moving with Victor and Rosa.

Author’s Note: This is not my first oneshot but it is my first time writing for DC. Also I might do a part 2? But idk.

PART 2 

“Please pick up. Please pick up.” Billy whispered underneath his breath, pulling his phone away from his ear to triple-check if he was calling the right person before going back to his silent prayer.

“The person you are calling is currently unavailable—” He didn’t bother to hear the rest before hanging up. He had heard so much of it that he could recite the message in his sleep. He’s left countless voicemails, texts, calls but no answer and he began feeling helpless and desperate.

‘She’s probably just busy.’ He thought, ‘She’d never ignore my calls on purpose. She always loves to talk to me.’

You giggled, sitting on the floor of a cheap phone booth at the corner of the street. You didn’t have a phone so you resorted to long midnight calls from phone booths to the phone that he stole from some rich kid who could buy 10 more.

He called himself Robin Hood, because he would steal from the rich and give to the poor, who just happened to consist of the two of you. While he offered the phone to you, you settled for the rolls of quarters he managed to steal from the arcade so you could have late night calls like this.

You were uncomfortable on the cold and cramped floor of the phone booth but it didn’t bother you as you leaned against dirty glass and listened to Billy’s tired voice.

“It wasn’t her. Just some other Batson.” He said, trying to push down the tears but you heard the disappointment in his voice.

“You’ll find her. I know you will. Just not today and that’s okay too.” You spoke soothingly, wishing he was beside you so you could run your fingers through his hair.

He sighed, “Maybe I should just give up. Accept that I’m never going to find her.”

“Maybe you should. But you’re not going to.”

“I’m not going to,” He said again and you smiled at the determination in his voice, “It’s why you love me.”

“It’s why I love you.” You agreed, nodding your head even though he couldn’t see you, “It’s getting late, we should go to bed.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

You nodded, “They’re probably asleep by now and I’m running out of quarters anyway.”

He nodded, “Good night, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He wanted nothing more than to hear your voice again, to just know that you were okay. No matter how many times he called you, you wouldn’t pick up, texts remained unread and any other form of contact lead to the same result.

He once flew to your house, only to find it empty and abandoned. The living room still reeked with the pungent odour of alcohol and the floor still crunched with the hidden pieces of wine bottles underneath the carpet. But the smell of ash caught him off guard and it sent him bolting through your room only to find it a mess.

Everything was charred and ruined. Your curtains were burnt to a crisp and your bed reeked of petrol. He felt his heart seize in his chest as tears bubbled in the corners of his eyes. He immediately bolted through the front door, banging on the doors of the neighbours.

It brought back a string of memories....

Billy banged on every door in the middle of the apartment complex, trying to find your house as old and young people opened up with either irritation or sleep painted across their face.

Finally, he knocked on the last door, to have you open up, your face wet with tears and your hands shaking.

“Billy...” You choked out before falling in his arms, holding fistfuls of his jacket in a vice-like grip. He caught you effortlessly, cradling you as you cried in the doorway.

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” He asked, looking your body over for injuries and sighed in relief when you shook your head no.

“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” He whispered in your ear, “Just three more years of this and we’ll be free.”

You nodded, hiccupping as he continued to press kisses to your hairline, “Just three more years.” You echoed, feeling your tears dry as you sunk into his embrace, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips.

“And we’ll be free.”

When he got back home, his body was shaking with the information he found out. Attempted murder, arson, parents arrested for possession and substance abuse.

But when he asked about their daughter, they all said they had no idea what happened to her.

The world felt like it was closing around him and his shaking hands picked up the phone, this time calling a different number.

“Hello?” The warden from the orphanage answered.

“Where is she?” His attempt at sounding firm was a total fail as his voice cracked in the end.

“I’m afraid I can’t disclose that information.” Came the reply and he felt a sob threatening to break from his throat.

“Please tell me she’s safe.” His voice was wavering dangerously and he could hear the sympathetic sigh from the other side.

“She finally called the police. I guess not having you by her side to protect her scared her into calling them up.” She told him and he immediately felt guilty, he never should have left you to live with Victor and Rosa, no matter how many times you told him to go.

“I think you should go.” You told him, missing the way his neck whipped towards you as you stared at the grey clouds cover up the moon.

The two of you always argued about this. He always said that the moon was being covered by the clouds, looking at the down side of things but you always said that the clouds were hiding the moon from humanity, who wouldn’t appreciate it unless they had to live without it for once.

He had to agree with you but then he’d forget that you said it and you’d have this argument all over again.

“What? You think I should leave?”

You nodded, “Probably not for the reasons you think.”

“The plan was we stick this out together and when we’re eighteen we move in together, far away from here. Just three more years, (Y/N), we’re so close.”

“It’s still the plan.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is, life was always lending us a bad hand, but you have such a great opportunity now, and I want you to take it.”

“And leave you behind?”

“And leave me here, until I can catch up with you. Three years and we move in together. All according to plan.”

He sighed, pulling you close and kissing you soundly, “I want you to have this then.” He muttered, placing something in your hands.

In your hands was his phone, with a dirty and cracked screen but your heart soared at the gift. Pressing the unlock button to see a picture of the 2 of you. Both your faces were hidden, of course, in case the original owner ever managed to track it down, but it still warmed your heart.

“You have to call and text every day. I’m pretty sure, the foster home will have a landline or something.”

“I can’t believe you’re giving me your phone. How sweet are you?”

“Oh, I’m not giving it to you. You have to pay for it.”

You chuckled, “Oh really?”

He flashed you a smirk, “Yep, if you want it, you’re gonna have to cough up 200 kisses.”

You mocked surprise, “That’s so many!”

“Well the economy is bad.”

”Her parents, unfortunately weren’t the only ones who were part of this gang and now she’s gone into witness protection. She’s being fostered for now, and I’m sorry but I can’t tell you where she is, she isn’t allowed to contact anyone either. I’m sorry, Billy.”

‘Beep. Beep. Beep.’

He felt as though his heart was ripped out and stomped on, and he suddenly felt dizzy as his world collapsed around him. So much had happened over the past year, with him becoming a superhero and finding his mom and he had to do it without you.

It was now that he was realizing that he wasn’t the only one who was going through a tough time and the thought of never seeing you again, had his breath hitching.

He tried your number one last time.

“The person you are calling is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.”

“Hey, (Y/N), call me when you can. I miss you. I love you.”

[danganronpa-21]

Naegiri Week Day 4 - Rain

I can barely believe that it’s Day 4 already. Also that I’m on time for this one, because I didn’t think I was going to be. It’s a welcome surprise! This particular piece is much more of an angst/whump piece, but there’s still a bit of sweetness attached to it. 2020 is just the year of angsty Makoto, I guess! Anyway, I hope you like it! Feel free to let me know what you think.

Oh, and please keep in mind that this does contain some rather graphic depictions of death and violence. Be sure to play on the safe side if that’s not your thing. Thank you so much for your time and attention!

______________________________________

Makoto was about to shower for the first time in four years.

 Of course, that wasn’t to say that the man never bathed – quite the opposite, really. He tended to bathe rather frequently; it was just way he did it that changed the conversation. After all, taking baths was still apart of good hygiene. It was just widely regarded as less convenient to bathe that way. What was a man to do? There was something about standing under the showerhead, watching the water bead onto the tile and slowly roll away… Something about it just made his skin crawl.

 Well, perhaps it was wrong to say “something” when he was well aware of the cause. Four years since the School Life of Mutual Killing, and the image of her never left his mind. Sweet, beautiful Sayaka with a fractured wrist and a knife plunged into her stomach, blood pooling all over her belly and lap. Her eyes shut in a way that could not possibly have looked peaceful even if he wanted it to. Her last message to him written across the wall in disjoined letters – a final plea for him to try and survive. She’d signed her death warrant, yet she refused to sign off on his as well. Kyoko told him that he should take some comfort in that, but it was a comfort he could only half-hold. In truth, try as she might, there was nothing that Kyoko could tell him to take away that pain.

 That was why he was where he was, actually. Kyoko’s inability to remedy his pain. He’d been trying for ages now to counteract the thoughts and feelings associated with the shower, but none of his attempts bore fruit. Even Kyoko’s strategies, helpful as they usually were, did little to assist him. At this point, she could only hope to support him through his struggle. So, when he came to the decision to finally step foot in the shower once more, she did as she always did – supported him as best she could.

 Some would find it weird that a couple who had only recently started having sex would so readily strip down to nothingness and jump into the shower together, but neither he nor his wife found this to be a situation way out of their comfort zone. It wasn’t like the situation would be overtly sexual in any way, shape, or form. They would just be two people like any other, showering in each other’s presence. That was it.

 Still, Makoto wondered if perhaps it was pent-up awkwardness that made his hands tremble as he moved to lift his shirt off over his head, or if shower nerves were getting the best of him. He would always feel flustered at the sight of his wife completely undressed, but this felt like so much more. Within seconds he his throat started to dry up, and his heart picked up its pace. God, he wondered if this was a good idea. It had seemed like one at the time, but now he knew he had second thoughts.

 “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 It was like Kyoko sensed his anxiety without him having to lend his voice to it. It was almost funny that even after all that time together, he still found himself surprised by her ability to read him. She did still insist on referring to him as “Mr. Open Book”; she’d just also begun to refer to herself as “Mrs. Open Book”. Not that that was true, but he appreciated her joke about their marriage nonetheless. Her playfulness brought him respite.

 “Honestly… no,” he answered, pushing a hand through his hair, “I don’t know what’s going to happen if I do, but I don’t want to keep avoiding it like this.”

 Kyoko frowned. “What’s the problem with not showering? There’s nothing wrong with you only taking baths. Regardless, you still emerge cleaner than you were when you entered.”

 His shoulders rose and fell lazily; his eyes drifting towards the shower. The thing looked so innocent just sitting there, the glass pane cracked open ever so slightly to reveal the silver mechanisms inside. They looked so pristine and nice in there, glittering with a shine that proved how recently Kyoko cleaned the faucets and spout. The whole structure appeared so unintimidating; he felt foolish for even being frightened of it.

 “It’s a personal thing, I guess.”

 His wife’s arms crossed her chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 Makoto gripped his arm tightly, his nails digging into the skin. He knew better than to grab at himself like that, but confessing to his pain was next to unbearable. Even talking about it threatened to send him spiralling. “Just that I think this is something I need to lay to rest. Not just for me, but for Maizono-san, too. I want her to be able to sleep peacefully…”

 Her expression softened like well-loved leather. “Always thinking of others, Makoto. You really are the kindest person I’ve ever met,” She murmured, reaching over to cup his cheek with her hand, “Still. Are you sure that this is how you can help her? Maizono-san wouldn’t want you to do anything that might cause you to hurt yourself.”

 “If there’s some other way to help her, I don’t know of it.” Makoto mumbled awkwardly, leaning his face into Kyoko’s hand. It was sort of strange feeling her hand on his face; without her gloves her hands seemed so much rougher than he was used to. Not that he minded any. In a way, he almost liked that Kyoko’s hands were like that. It made her touch easy to distinguish from everyone else’s, and made him a lot more comfortable knowing that she was right there at his side. The only situation in which he’d ever want her hands to change was if that was what she wanted. “I think this is the only way I can really go about it.”

 Kyoko nodded thoughtfully, a half-smile playing at her face. “If you’re certain. Still, I ask that you let me know if we need to put an end to it. You know I’ll be swift in putting an end to the exercise.”

 “Of course.”

 With that, the two separated once more, both of them moving to continue to do away with their clothing. It didn’t take them long to strip down to nothingness, feeling the cool autumn air hitting their bare skin. For both of their sakes, Makoto tried to make not too much unnecessary eye contact. Kyoko seemed to care much less about it.  When they were done, Kyoko took his hand, and guided him towards the shower. Sweat coated Makoto’s palms immediately as they made the venture forth to the silver beast; his body suddenly feeling much too cold for his liking. Part of him wanted to run over and snag his clothes, put them all back on, and tell her that he didn’t want to do this after all. It would certainly be a lot easier than confronting his fears. Still, could he really convince himself to give up on his task when he was this close? He should award himself more faith than that, after all. Like trying a new food, there was no sense in giving up before the flavour hit. As frightened as he was, he wanted to at least try to bear it.

 Unfortunately, his desire to soldier through didn’t stop his body from reacting to the stressors. He practically jumped out of his skin the moment Kyoko turned the faucet; he’d always hated the low rumbling the shower made when it roared to life. It had been a while since he was close enough to hear it, but now that he was… he was suddenly reminded of how awful it was.

 “Are you okay, Makoto?” Kyoko asked, turning her head back to look at him. Her face looked so innocent as she blinked at him, her brows knitting themselves together ever so slightly. Her obvious worry made his stomach twist. How could he be so determined to overcome his fear if it concerned the woman he loved so greatly?

 Attempting to swallow around the lump in his throat, Makoto nodded. “Just got a little surprised by the sound, that’s all… We’ve got to wait for it to warm up, right?”

 She bit her lip, taking one long look at his expression. Without even having to use her words or much expression, he could tell she didn’t believe him. “Yes. It should warm up fairly quickly, though. We’ll be able to step in soon.”

 “Good, good…”

 It was not good. Not that he was going to tell Kyoko that.

 Anxiety spun his head like a vinyl record; he fought to keep his belly from churning. God, he just wanted to get this over with. Be a hero, conquer his fears, and then curl up in bed with his wife and snuggle her until his limbs stopped shaking. Every passing second was agonizing. He honestly felt as if he could cry when she told him that the water was finally warm enough.

 “Do you want me to go in first?”

 “It would probably make me feel a bit better if you did… Just like… take me by the hand and guide me in, please.”

 She smiled at him as genuinely as she could manage, her worry still seeping through ever so slightly. “I can do that.”

 He breathed a silent prayer as Kyoko’s hand found his own, slowly guiding him towards the shower. He couldn’t stop himself from squeezing his eyes shut, letting himself be lured into the trap by his lover. The moment the water hit him, he let out a gasp. Desperate to stay grounded, he found himself squeezing Kyoko’s hand for dear life. She took such care to ensure that the shower rain wouldn’t be too hot, yet it scalded his skin as he tried to adjust to the feeling. He almost cried out the moment it collided with him. The sensation could be compared to freshly boiled water being poured down his spine.

 “Just breathe,” she spoke so softly he almost missed it, her hand rubbing against his back to try and comfort him, “It’ll be okay.”

 It’ll be okay, he repeated to himself. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.

 Adrenaline hit him in a crashing wave. It was as if a bubble had burst in his brain, soaking his entire being in paralyzing fear. Every part of his body suddenly seemed full of… something. What it was, he didn’t know. He only knew that he could feel it somewhere within himself, accompanied by a shooting pain somewhere in his chest. If he hadn’t known what the symptoms were like, he would have assumed that he was going to faint. This definitely wasn’t fainting, though. It was… something else entirely.

 All he could see was red. Red streaked on cold grey tile; the liquid having lost its warmth after spillage. A knife plunged into the depths of Sayaka’s belly, diving past her uniform and the protective layer of skin and muscle. How far did it pierce her stomach, one couldn’t help but wonder? How long was she in pain? Did she lay there bleeding out, praying that someone would come and rescue her? There were tear tracks on her face when they found her. She’d cried in pain. She’d sat there writhing in it, bleeding out – five minutes of bleeding out, Kyoko told him – with nobody to soothe her.

 He left her behind to die like that. He’d left her to die like that because he was too stupid to think about what she intended to do. If he’d stopped her, she’d still be alive. If he’d been smarter, or braver, or nicer, everything would have worked out for her. She’d have stood on Kyoko’s side at their wedding, hair curled and adorned in purple flowers. She would be positioned next to Aoi, looking absolutely beautiful in the soft material of her lavender dress. The gown would hug her curves in a way that would surely have made Leon talk, but she still wouldn’t be the most radiant woman in the room. He could picture the smile she’d give from where she was standing, silently wishing him a lifetime of happiness with the love of his life. She’d have been there. She’d have protected him from the harm of the shower’s rain, slicing through his skin like a blistering razor.

 “Makoto!”

 The image persisted behind his eyes, but the sound proved he could make out his own world. Sayaka’s death played on continuous loop like a movie; none of what was happening was real anymore. Water droplets having completed their race were not the same as Sayaka’s blood; there was no reason to see it as such. The grey tile had not been scrubbed white; it was the tile of his own home. The voice calling out to him was not his own frozen in a hellish scream; it was Kyoko’s. Shame seeped into his bones. Go away, he pleaded, I’m begging you to go away.

 Without any choice, his legs gave out, sending him falling to the floor. His knees would surely be bruised the next day.

 Kyoko didn’t kneel down to his level, not at first. Her hand instead went darting for the faucet, twisting it off as soon as she could. Only a twinge of relief washed over him as the pitiful rain dribbled to a stop, leaving him and Kyoko to bask in the new found silence. It made Makoto acutely aware of how sharp his breaths had become, with his body struggling to gather some sort of relief. He squeezed his eyes shut. Oh, how he prayed the darkness would swallow him whole to make this pain stop.

 He barely noticed when Kyoko knelt down on the floor, placing a gentle hand on his back. It wasn’t until her rough hand made contact against his skin… It wasn’t until that moment that he found himself anywhere close to okay. Oh god, he hoped she knew how much that meant. Even with his mind persisting at that image of Sayaka, the contact healed him like an EpiPen.

 “You’re experiencing a flashback, Makoto,” she murmured softly, tracing loops on his back. How could she sound so steady at a time like this? Jealousy at her coolness pricked him. What he wouldn’t give to experience it anywhere but between images of Sayaka, blood leaking from the side of her mouth.

 “Sayaka’s dead,” was all he could utter. No “help me”, no “hold me”, no “I need you to do this for me” … Just an admission that his dear friend was very much dead.

 “She died, but she didn’t die here. It was years ago, Makoto.” The circles she drew between his shoulder blades slowed down. She hoped for him to focus on the sense of touch. “You remember that, don’t you? And you remember that you didn’t have any control over what happened to her. She didn’t blame you for what happened.”

 He didn’t answer. Just kept staring aimlessly at the tile, wishing it would be the way he remembered it. The way it looked when Kyoko had just finished taking a shower. God, he’d have done anything to be able to breathe in the scent of her cherry blossom shampoo, rather than the vague stench of copper.

 “Do you feel my hand on your back, Makoto?”

 He licked his lips, blinking slowly. “I do.”

 “It’s rough, isn’t it?”

 “Very.” He muttered.

 “Just try to focus on that roughness as my finger moves. You can feel me there, can’t you?”

 “Yeah, I can.”

 “Good,” she outstretched her other hand so he could see it, her golden wedding band flickering at him, “Now look at the other. It’s kind of funny-looking, isn’t it?”

 “Like hamburger meat.” He murmured, not thinking about how that might insult her. His mind was too far into its loop to consider it. His body trembled as he tried to ground himself there on the tile; nausea prodding at him to have its way.

 To his surprise, Kyoko laughed. Not a full, hearty laugh like he could usually stir from her – but a laugh nonetheless. “I suppose it does sort of look like that. What I want you to focus on, though, is the colours. How many different colours can you pick out when you look at my hands? Remember, undertones count too.”

 His eyes wandered across her hand, observing it carefully. Naturally, red was the first colour that came to his mind. Red like blood, red like fire, red like a poisonous animal. The red on Kyoko’s hand was an inky layer sandwiched between lighter and darker hues, skirting about midway along her palm, it danced so close to her knuckles. From there, the colours faded into a deeper crimson, then to a brown, until finally they reached a blackened shade at the tips of her fingers. It was only below the streak of red that he could see pink, like apple snail eggs. So close to being warm and rosy, but a sign of damage nevertheless.

 “There’s… red, and brown, and pink… black, crimson…”

 “Crimson? It sounds like you’re getting a little excited with your colour comparisons there. Good for you. Just keep listing the ones that come to mind.”

 “Um… I guess there’s a bit of umber in there… maybe some charcoal?”

 She nodded. “Good. Now, do you know what day it is?”

 Makoto blinked once. Twice. Three times. His breaths still felt much too laborious, but in a way, he felt like things were almost getting clearer. Like he’d been freed from suffocation in ash. “It’s… the tenth of September, right? Autumn?”

 The circles continued as she cracked a small smile. “Good, good. Now can you rub your hands together for me? I want to get you a towel to dry off with. It will keep you warm while I do.”

 Once again, he didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at her, just nodded and started rubbing his hands together for friction. He couldn’t bring his eyes to follow her as she pushed herself to her feet and strode out of the shower, tugging his fluffy white towel off the rack. Focus rested on the heat generating between his hands, he almost didn’t notice when she returned and draped it over his shoulders. His movement screeched to a halt the moment it connected with his body; god was it a soft towel. Taking hold of both corners, he pulled it over himself as much as he could manage. They definitely needed to keep buying whatever fabric softener they were currently using.

 Kyoko slowly lowered herself to sit at his side once more, returning her hand to the same position it had been on his back. It was true to say that he could no longer enjoy her rough skin against his own, but the pressure of her presence still made him a bit renewed.

 “Are you okay, Makoto?” Though he couldn’t find the energy to meet her face, the concern coated her voice. It wasn’t difficult to picture her lowered brows; her mouth curved into a hesitant grin in hopes of offering solace.

 His shoulders quirked, and he leaned himself into her. By now she must have known how badly he needed her; he figured she wouldn’t mind if he cuddled up. Touch always rejuvenated him when he grew melancholic or distressed. Hers, especially, brought him a comfort unlike any other. “Honestly… no. I’m not.”

 Kyoko scooted closer to him, and pushed his head so that it would rest on his shoulder. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

 “No,” the answer came much faster than expected, “Not right now, anyway.”

 “That’s fine. I don’t expect you to be okay. We can talk whenever you would like,” she paused for but a moment, carefully scrutinizing his face, “Is there anything I can do?”

 “I don’t think so.”

 He could tell she was frowning now. “That’s a shame.”

 Makoto quirked his shoulders once more. “It’s okay. You’re already doing everything you can, and I appreciate that. All I really need right now is your company.”

 Cautiously turning her head towards his, she pressed a kiss against his head. Her hand rested on the top of it, stroking his hair ever so gently. A miniscule happiness swelled within him at the sensation. He was a lucky man, who had a woman who cared about him so much. “I think I can manage that.”

 Though it was hard, he did everything he could to push a smile. It must have been awfully weak, but he hoped she could appreciate it nonetheless. “Thank you, Kyoko… I love you.”

 “I love you, too. And I’m here for you anytime.”

 “Shower or no shower?” He joked, chuckling half-heartedly.

 “Shower or no shower. I’ll love you, always.”

[boxboysandotherwhump]

Penny and Scamp chapter 3

875 newly named Scamp finally gets to reunite with his beloved other half when he and his Miss visit him in the hospital. 

Thank you so much @finder-of-rings for proofreading this <3

The whole guard dog concept was developed by the amazing @moose-teeth

Also Karen Renford is one of many amazing characters created by the awesome @ashintheairlikesnow

Taglist:  @eatyourdamnpears @whumpsblog (I hope I didn’t forget anyone)

CW: mention of arm amputation, mention of self-injury, Karen Renford mentioned, restrained to the bed

875 followed Miss Adelaide past the hospital's reception desk, still clad in black shorts and a white shirt. A shock collar sat tightly buckled around his neck.

It kind of felt like he was still wandering the facility halls except that the hospital bustled with life.  Nurses scurried over the floor, talked to visitors waiting in plastic chairs or leaned against walls. People holding flowers knocked on white doors and followed patients around. He nearly expected a handler to step out from behind one of them and drag him back into his cell.

Glancing at his owner’s back, he reminded himself that he wasn’t a trainee anymore. He was someone’s pet now. An identity beyond number and barcode. His name was Scamp and he belonged to Miss Adelaide Tormadosa. Together with his beloved. Penny.

A befitting name for his love, with his wild copper curls and a smile that would never let Scamp forget how lucky he was to be alive. If only Penny himself had an ounce of the luck he brought him.

Instead he ended up in a hospital bed robbed of the last shred of bodily autonomy and his right arm.  Taken away by a blizzard wrapped in human flesh. Karen Renford was a devilish force raging and tearing one's soul apart until she left nothing but a hollow ruin in her wake, held up solely by pillars made of barcode stripes and fear.

“Calm, now.” Miss Adelaide said and it was only then that Scamp realized how badly his hand shook on the hospital room's door handle.  Concern had wormed itself deep into Scamp's brain, traveled down to his lungs and nested in his heart, made it difficult to breath, to form any thought beyond:

Please. God please let him be okay.

But God didn’t listen to boxboys or dogs, after all, prayers were reserved for people. And Scamp already knew that Penny was as far from okay as he’d ever been before, during even their harshest of training sessions.

Miss Adelaide explained what had happened as they drove from the facility directly to the hospital. She’d told him that Karen Renford had ordered the amputation of Penny’s arm after he’d poured boiling water over it during domestic training. Why he did that was anyone’s guess. That Renford's order to cripple a disobedient boxboy had nothing to do with medical necessity and everything with punishment, however, was obvious even to Scamp.

Bracing himself, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

Golden rays of dying evening sun filtered through grey blinds into the small room. It painted golden stripes onto perfectly whitened stiff hospital sheets and fell upon Penny’s waxen face, setting his hair afire. A bleeding halo fanning out over white pillows. Scamp need no god if divinity incarnate lay here before his very eyes.

Miss Adelaide waited in the doorway as he stumbled towards the bed, knees nearly giving out.

“Hey, hi. I am here. I am here now.”

Scamp's voice shook even more than his fingertips as he traced them over Penny’s cheek, caressed a tiny cluster of freckles right over his cheekbone and ghosted feather light touches over closed eyelids. Penny’s long red lashes tickled his fingers but remained closed. Dark shadows had settled under them. His breathing was slow, in sync with the steady beeping of the vital-signs-monitor as he lay motionless like a doll.

Scamp bit his lip in order to keep it from trembling and turned to his owner, desperate for her help.

 “Why is he not waking up? Please Miss Adelaide. Please make him wake up.”

Something in her eyes softened as his voice broke and she nodded towards the reception desk with a smile. “I’ll go and get a nurse to come and check on him. You stay here.”

“Yes Miss.”  Even though being separated from his owner made Scamp’s stomach churn with unease, he was determined to obey and put a hand on Penny’s shoulder in reassurance, for his other as much as for himself. Penny’s presence grounded him as his Miss vanished down the hall, closing the door behind her.

Scamp's eyes were back on his beloved as soon as it clicked shut. Wiping tears from his face with one hand he began to gently untangle soft curls with the other, careful not to pull or twinge. 

The door opened right after he smoothed out the last tangle of unruly hair, and Miss Adelaide followed a portly short woman into the room. She carried a scanner in one deft hand and a tablet in the other. Silvery brown hair was held out of her wrinkly face by a loose bun and her blue eyes lit up with warmth as she spotted Scamp, who immediately tensed as she stepped closer to Penny’s bed.

“Scamp, behave.”

Miss Adelaide’s voice cut through the silent room sharp like a whip and made Scamp flinch like he’d been struck with one. A little whine escaped his lips while his eyes snapped from the nurse to his owner, who fixed him with an expression brooking no argument. Grinding his teeth, Scamp stepped back from the bed and let the nurse take his place. He watched with shaking fists as she put her equipment on the bedside table and pulled Penny’s blanket aside in practiced motions.

“Don’t worry,” she said, a knowing smile in her voice. “You’re friend’s gonna be fine. He’s just tired ‘n needs rest now.”

“What- How,” Scamp clenched and unclenched his fists. The urge to pull her away from Penny and the need to ensure that he was taken care of properly fought a war in his twitching muscles. Conditioned reflex collided with common sense. He swallowed his training down a sore throat and trusted in Miss Adelaide’s command to behave himself. “How do you know that?”

“Cause we have excellent staff,” the nurse said warmly.

The tablet lit up with the scanner's little beep and revealed Penny’s clinical data as the nurse scanned in his barcode. That was when Scamp saw it. A thick padded cuff was buckled around Penny’s fine boned wrist and fixed him to the bed frame. His other arm, or rather what remained of it had been wrapped in a thick blue cast barely reaching to his ribs. It looked unreal, wrong, as if a too tiny blue puppet limb had been attached to his body. Scamp vision swam at the thought of what was hidden underneath it. 

Behave. Obey Miss Adelaide and behave! The nurse will not hurt him.

The pain in his palms where short sharp nails dug in grounded him enough to help him stay planted in his spot behind the nurse. He was a crossbow pulled tight and frozen in place at the cusp of tension.

Miss Adelaide stepped closer, peering onto the bed. “Why is he restrained?”

“Oh that silly boy.” Concern shadowed the nurse’s face as she tucked Penny back in and petted gently over his blanket. “He ripped the IV for his pain medication out of his arm. We had to restrain him ‘n double the dosage to get the pain back under control.”

Heat swirled in Scamp’s stomach, crashed through his insides in sickening and searing waves as he pushed the nurse aside. Wide tear bright eyes searched his beloved’s sleeping face while he leaned closer.

“Why?”

Shaking lips found a warm forehead and planted tiny kisses onto pale skin. Little seeds of love he prayed would sink down and take root in Penny’s heart.

“Why?”

“We don’ know, honey.” The nurse’s firm hand squeezed Scamp's shoulder and an understanding passed between them that stopped his impulse to throw her against a wall dead in its tracks. The heat clogged his throat now, a heavy clump of emotion he couldn’t swallow down.

Withdrawing her hand, the nurse reached for the roller clamp on Penny’s IV tube. “But I’m gonna lower his dosage a bit so he’ll come to soon.”

Miss Adelaide stepped aside as the nurse moved towards the door and nodded her appreciation. “Thank you. One question before you leave. How long will it take for him to wake? I don’t have-“

“Between 30 minutes and two hours.” The nurse turned at the door frame, a knowing twinkle in her eyes as she caught sight of Scamp's worried expression. “I’ll bring you both some tea while you wait.”

“I-,“ Miss Adelaide began but the other woman had already hurried down the hall. Scamp watched his owner anxiously plop down onto one of the room’s plastic chairs with a loud huff. She fished a phone out of her coat pocket and muttered, “Never argue with nurses.”

Scared he’d somehow angered her already, Scamp began to count the freckles on Penny’s face. There were 68, exactly. He had memorized them all, traced every single one in the countless hours they had been trapped together in a white room, but he was too afraid to meet his owner’s eyes so he counted them yet again for lack of anything else to calm his growing nerves.

The nurse returned with two steaming plastic cups as he reached freckle number twenty-five, on the bridge of Penny’s nose.

Miss Adelaide, in fact, did not look angry as she plugged the cup from the nurse’s hands. A bit bored maybe, but not angry. A breath escaped Scamp he didn’t know he had been holding and he dared to ask for her permission to take the offered tea from the nurse.

Miss Adelaide blessed him with one of her pleased smiles as he bowed in a perfect 90 degree angle and mumbled, “Please Miss Adelaide, may I take the cup and drink?”

“Good boy. You may.”

It was just as he lifted the cup to his smiling lips that a low rasp made him swirl around and spill some of the hot liquid over his hands. He couldn’t care less about his scalded skin though, not when Penny’s brown eyes blinked up at him and a lopsided smile played around his chapped lips.

“Oh wow. The drugs they’ve got here are truly something else.”

A pale trembling hand reached up from under the blankets as high as the restrains allowed, the smile on Penny’s face faltered. “Or are you really here?”

“I am.” Scamp took Penny’s hand in both of his. “I am here.” The kisses he pressed to Penny’s knuckles were wet with tears. “I am here. I am here.”

“Yeah.” Penny massaged gentle circles into Scamp's hands, unable to keep his trembling lips from smiling as he tried to lift his head from the pillows, straining closer to his love. His eyes were glazed with unshed tears and his warm voice shook as he teased.  “Only the real you is such a crybaby.” 

Scamp couldn’t help but snort, whole face lighting up.

“Well, look at that. One eye open and already cracking jokes.” Miss Adelaide had stood from her chair and stepped behind Scamp, one hand ruffling his black hair. “Your friend’s one tough cookie.”

“Yes.” Scamp puffed his chest out under the praise, beaming down at Penny with flushed cheeks. “I may be the muscle but he is the heart.”

Penny buried his bright red face into his pillow, unable to stop a smile from spreading over his face. “You sap.”

Neither him nor Scamp noticed Miss Adelaide’s mouth twist into a shark-tooth grin.

“I see.”

chapter2

chapter4

[theleftoversworld]

The Lord is My Shepard

There can’t be more than two hundred people in this dirt pile that they call a town. Why am I here? Why do I do this? Is it not God’s will that they die for their sins? The rapture has come. They were not taken by the Lord’s hand, so their punishment must be here, on earth. But you have called me here Lord... you must have your reasons. Casandra thinks as she rides her motorbike up to the lone business that looks like it’s operational. The same in all of these filthy towns. The church is derelict, and the tavern is thriving. Filthy Godless people. She’s been in these towns enough to know that in boondocks like this there is always a board with jobs listed on it. That’s why she’s here. The church sent her on a pilgrimage around rural Illinois to help the people and find out what God’s plan is for her. The other reason she’s here is that taverns like this always have passable whiskey, which is required before attempting to deal with these people. She runs a hand through her long knotted brown hair to try to get the bugs and leaves out of it. After a moment’s pause she pulls her rosary from inside her leather jacket. This should have some sway to help her get information and stop the drooling men from trying to make a pass. She takes one last breath of clean fresh air before heading inside. It smells like every other tavern in this cursed land. Urine, body odor, and desperation. There’s half a dozen men at the bar already. They look like they spent their day out in the sun digging dirt. They have nothing here. No crops can grow here after the rapture, the earth doesn’t want to support them anymore. Why don’t they leave these barren lands and find someplace where they can actually survive instead of scraping by? A sunburnt man in overalls who stands behind the bar gives her a once over. “Ya?” He says in an accusing tone as though she’s forcing him to be there. “Whiskey.” She grunts, trying to match his tone. She’s learned that gruff works better than nice, and she’s never been good at being cordial. In one motion she sits down and puts enough money on the table for three shots. “Two shots and the extra is to leave me alone.” The man behind the bar seems to appreciate this. He pours two shots and then turns his back on her. She downs the first shot and winces. No chaser, the pain gives her focus, lets her see things she normally wouldn’t. The man at the other end of the bar has a dirt covered lipstick mark on his neck. Probably having an affair with another dirt person. The child at that round table keeps shifting in her seat. She has to pee and her parents haven’t noticed. The family in the back of the bar nearest the rear door, a mother and two kids. The mother has blood on her pants near her ankle. She’s resting it on her other foot so it doesn’t accidentally get any weight put on it. Something bit her. From the mess on her clothes she’s been working with animals. Where’s her husband? Dead? Or did he just leave? Cassandra takes a long breath. Nothing in here is immediately threatening. She can take a bit of time to think. She rests back on her barstool. I was a devout child. I went to catholic school, attended church twice a week. Every extra curricular thing I could do with the church I did. So why was I left behind in the Rapture? Why did God not take me to live with him? Why am I still here on this diseased planet? She frowns. This line of thought never gets her anywhere but into a fight. As if on cue a young man sits down next to her. Really he’s more of a boy than a man. If I ignore him, maybe he won’t say anything. I need work, the last thing I need is to break this kid’s teeth. She thinks and reaches for her second shot. “Hey, you’re pretty good looking for a church girl.” The man says and reaches out to stop her from grabbing the shot. “If you touch me I will circumcise you with my sword.” She growls. “I can’t promise it will be clean.” He quickly retracts his hand. “Meant no harm. We just never get visitors. Especially ones that look as good as you.” She throws the shot back. “Ever think you’re the

reason?” She slams the glass down and gets up to leave. She can feel everyone’s eyes on her now but she doesn’t care. They don’t deserve to be saved. I bet they don’t even go to church on Sunday. She thinks as she makes for the exit. Once she’s outside she spies the jobs board. It looks like someone’s been through here already. “Damn the hunters.” She grumbles as she walks to it. “They took almost everything... Let’s see what they left for me. The storekeeper’s wife is missing. I would bet money she’s above that bar working. I could smell the sin from outside. Aaaand sheep have been attacked at night on the edge of town.” She sighs. “One sucks far less than the other.” She rips the sheep job off the board and heads to the south end of town.

The town is so small she could have walked to the farm but she needs what’s on her bike. At the edge of town she finds a house with around twenty sheep in a hastily constructed small pen. A gate on one end of the pen tells her that they used to free range outside of town, but not anymore. Poor buggers. The animals have it the worst. They don’t understand that they are being punished along with the sinners.

After speaking to the owner of the house she goes back to her bike to set up. It’s the woman from the bar. She informs Cassandra that the attacks come at night so she might as well set up a camp and wait. When pressed for what happened to her ankle she says she stepped into a trap meant for the zombies. Cassandra nods, she seems a bit clumsy and careless. After a few more questions she heads back to her bike.

The church sent her out with rations, MRE’s that they got from what was left of the US military. This one is potato chowder and she hates to admit it, but it wasn’t half bad. Probably better than whatever she would have gotten at that tavern. Damn, the tavern. Another few shots would sure help the time pass. She hears a familiar voice calling from the house. It’s one of the boys. He must have dropped his dinner. She thinks and tries to ignore him. But then something he says catches her ear. “Please! She’s frothing like a rabid dog!” He shouts. She’s on her feet in an instant and running. She pulls out her sword as she runs as well as a small silver dagger she keeps in a belt pouch. “Sounds like a werewolf transformation! Where is she?” She asks as she makes it to the door. “On the kitchen floor! This way!” The boy shouts and leads her to the room. As soon as she enters the room though she knows that it’s not werewolves. The boy’s mother is there on the floor, foaming from the mouth like he said. But her eyes are almost bugging out of her head and the most telling part is her leg. The wound, which is now exposed, is septic and the skin around it has turned green. “Damnit! She needs to die now!” Casandra shouts and pulls her sword back but the boy steps in her way.

“No! She’s my mom! Help her! Doesn’t the church help people?” “There is no helping her! She’s been infected with the zombie virus! Now step aside or I will cleave you to get to her!” Cassandra yells angrily. He doesn’t move. “Lord, have mercy on their souls!” She growls but as she starts to bring the sword down. The boy lets out a bone shaking scream that causes her to wince and stop her blade. The boy falls and it becomes quickly obvious. The boy’s mother is chewing on his leg, tearing flesh with her teeth. The boy is looking at her in horror and screaming, both in terror and in pain. Cassandra shakes her head violently to clear it and then chops the boy’s head off in one swift motion. “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.” She entones as she then goes to cut off the mothers head. “May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.” Once she’s done she looks at them in some disgust and takes stock of everything. “I guess I know what attacked the sheep then. I need some holy water to perform the ritual to make sure you two stay dead. And to find the other child, maybe they can be saved. Though I doubt it.” She turns to go to her bike but she stops in her tracks. One of the problems with zombies is that they don’t moan like they did in the movies. They are surprisingly quiet and can sneak up on you if you aren’t paying attention. There are fifteen of them in the house, between her and the front door. She glances at the window and sees more of them outside watching her. “No way out.” One of the zombies says. “If you give up, we will make it quick.” “Give up? Give up!?!” She says, getting angry. She raises her sword and changes into the zombies in the hallway. I believe in God! The Father Almighty! Creator of Heaven and earth!

and in Jesus Christ! His only Son Our Lord!” She shouts as she cleaves through the first two zombies. “Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate! Was crucified, died, and was buried!” Two more zombies fall at her feet, their evil purged from this world by her divine blade.

Although she is covered in their putrid blood, she doesn’t falter. This is her life, she was put on earth to slay evil. “He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead!” Five try to rush her at once but she steps back and makes a wide swing. She cuts off four arms and then raises her sword hand, clenched fist facing the zombies. “He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead!” A stream of fire comes from her hand like a hose. She sweeps it over the zombies that remain between her and the door. “I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting!” She finishes the prayer and then barrels through the now burning zombies. They don’t feel pain, so fire is a double edged sword. They don’t recoil from it, so it makes them a danger if they touch you. But they are also fragile to begin with, so fire makes them like glass. She plows through them and runs out the front door. By the light of the burning house she fights zombies, slicing through them with ease. Once they are all dead she tosses their bodies into the house to make sure they burn.

By this time townspeople have turned out to see what is going on. They could see the fire and came running but they do not approach her. She ignores them while she’s working. If they wanted to help they could have joined in but they didn’t, telling her what they thought of her work. Once she’s done tossing bodies into the house she walks up to the bartender. “Let it burn. You want to make sure that none of them stand back up.” Then she boards her bike. No pay for this job, the person who put the job on the board was the second person she beheaded. She takes off, heading for the next town. It is not worth staying in a town where you burned down a house. That’s a lesson she learned already. Especially in small towns. They seem to take that personally.

Once the glow of the fire fades behind her she allows herself to relax a little. “Almighty and Loving God, I praise you from my heart, that of your boundless goodness you have preserved me this night past, and have, with the impenetrable shield of your providence, protected me from the power and malice of the devil.” She mutters as she rides off into the darkness. “Do not withdraw Lord, I kindly ask, your protection from me, but mercifully on this day watch over me with the eyes of your mercy. Lead my soul and body according to the rule of your will, and fill my heart with your Holy Spirit, that I may pass this day, and all the rest of my days, to your glory. Amen.”

Taglist: : @hellishhin @thelaughingstag

[scornedlove]

Chapter Thirty

ROBYN

It’s amazing what good sex can do. When we left the mall, Rocky took me to his duck off spot at Manhattan beach, where we set some rules to our situation. No questions, no venting, and no expectations. We promised to keep emotions out and orgasms in. If either of us broke any of the agreements, that would be the end of our rendezvous.

After we both had a clear understanding, he got to work like his life depended on it. He took me to heights I’ve been desperately needing right there on the sand and in the back of his car. I rode him so good, I woke up the next morning sore as hell with a little pep in my step. 

What I didn’t expect, was Dre’s face to be the first one I saw when I arrived at the boutique. There was an all black Chevy Impala parked in the very last space, with some guy watching him. Guess he found a new driver. He kept glancing in all directions as if he was Dre’s bodyguard. All I could do was roll my eyes when I noticed Dre. He was holding a box of muffins and some flowers looking like somebody killed his dog.

I took my time getting out the cab, then slowly approached him with no-nonsense on my face. There wasn’t enough orgasms in the world to make me forget about him calling me an addict. When I got in front of him, I paused, waiting for him to speak first.

“I hate when you’re mad at me” he admitted, holding out the gifts.

“Is that what you think of me? An addict?” I quizzed, ignoring his offerings. 

“See, I knew you took what I was saying the wrong way. You know I don’t think you’re an addict, but you do need help. Which is why this is the last time I’m giving you these” he stated, pulling a pill bottle out of his pocket. It must’ve been evident that I didn’t want to take them from him, because he urged, holding them out for me to grab.

“I don’t want anything from you. Matter of fact, forget I even exist” I frowned, turning my back on him to unlock the door. I was early this morning for a reason and he was cutting into my time.

“Anna you gotta stop pushing the people who care about you away. I talked to John this morning and he told me-”

“Oh please, because YOU care about me right? Go care about those stupid tramps you got prancing around in them tight ass clothes at your clinic.” I bumped him out of my way, knocking the pill bottle from his hand as I entered the building.

I locked the door and peeped out the window as he scrambled to find the bottle without dropping everything else he was holding. The scowl on his face as he mumbled to himself when he picked it up, showed he was done trying. 

I hadn’t noticed before, but John was parked across the street waiting for him. He jogged over to the car without looking back, clearly cursing my name. 

“Bet his ass won’t come back now” I shook my head, thinking out loud.

“Damn it’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” Meagan’s animated voice scared the crap out of me.

“SHIT” I yelled, clutching my chest.

“Sorry, I ain’t mean to scare you” she giggled, coming from around the front counter. 

“What you doing here so early? I didn’t see your car out there.” I snapped, glancing around the store. 

“Oh, my mom needed to borrow my car, so I got dropped off today.” she explained as if this was the norm. Jenn, Frankie, and I were gonna have to have a talk. I gave them a key, so how did Meagan end up with a copy?

“So who’s that guy waiting out front?”

“What guy?”

“There was some guy” I explained, as I went to see if he was still there. He was gone and now I was starting to wonder if I was just overthinking. “Nevermind....you know we don’t open for another hour and a half right?”

“Yeah, I know. It was either be early or be late. So, here I am” she shrugged, walking over to the window to see what I was looking at. “Is that Dre”?

“I’ll be in my office if you need me” I yawned, ignoring her question as I jogged up the stairs.

It felt good being back in my workspace. I didn’t realize how much I missed being here. I started to notice that every time I’m in a low place, I avoid the things that really make me happy. Just then, an idea came to mind. It had been awhile since I’ve been inspired, so I wasted no time pulling out my pad letting my hand flow as I began to sketch. 

When I finished a couple of designs and going over the numbers for the past few weeks, I smoked a blunt, made some coffee, and promised myself today would be great before I went downstairs to join my crew. 

“Bitch, you don’t need no more vacations!” Frankie exclaimed, as Jenn finished counting the day’s deposit. While she did that, Frankie and I were reviewing the reports for the past quarter. For some reason, every time I was here in the shop compared to my vacation days, sales were up by thirty percent. I wasn’t complaining, but it did seem strange. 

“It makes sense if you ask me.” Meagan piped in. “Customer’s appreciate when you actually show up for them”

“Girl you still here?” I quizzed sarcastically. She was sticking her nose in places she had no business and it was starting to piss me off. “I appreciate your hard work. Enjoy the rest of your night and go get some rest. You’re off tomorrow so I’ll see you Thursday!”

“She’s off Thursday too!” Frankie corrected with a nod.

“Oh, well see you Friday” I grinned with a wave. She stood there lost for a moment, then finally agreed that she was tired as she grabbed her things and headed towards the door.

“Which one of ya’ll gave that heffa a key to my shop?” I asked crossing my arms over my chest as I glared from Jenn to Frankie.

“Not me” Frankie threw his hands up in defense. 

“What makes you think she has a key?” Jenn quizzed, unamused.

“She was the first one here today. I don’t trust her and I don’t appreciate my key being copied. I’m changing the locks.”

“I think your exaggerating” Jenn shook her head in disbelief.

“Well I think I’ll be the only one with a key since nobody knows how a copy just magically appeared.” I shrugged, leaving it at that. We finished closing the store in silence, but I could still feel Jenn’s attitude. I didn’t let it get to me though. I just rolled me another blunt and smoked until my cab showed up.

Minus the stench on his breath, the driver was a nice guy. He was a college kid trying to scrape up every dollar he could with every minute he had. I remembered those days. I invited him to have dinner with me when we pulled up to Gorgio Baldi, but he declined, which meant I’d be dining alone. Usually, I wouldn’t mind, but the last time I was here was with Chris. I hate that I let him meet me here, because now it will never be the same.

The same place that usually felt warm and cozy, was now big and cold. As I waited for my food, I had an eerie feeling that I was being watched. I looked around the room and noticed how busy it was. There were a few couples, a couple of families, and a group of girlfriends having dinner together. I wasn’t the only loner though. There was a guy, a couple of tables away, with his face in a book while he waited on his food. He was comfortable in his lonesome, but I was not. I couldn’t shake the feeling of embarrassment as the memories of the last time I was here, flooded my mind. 

When the waiter came back with my food, I took it to go. I decided if I wanted to enjoy my food in peace, I’d better stop and get Ollie and Pepe’s food as well. When I entered the grocery store, I was immediately irritated by how long all the checkout lines were. I wanted nothing to do with the chaos going on, so I grabbed some dog food and called it a day. 

As I weaved through the crowds, towards one of the long ass check out lines, I noticed a cashier opening a new lane, so I quickened my pace. I was almost there when, out of nowhere, a guy walked right in my path, causing me to smash my cart into his side.

“Fuck!” he yelled out in pain, scaring me half to death.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you! Are you okay?” I panicked, rushing around the basket to pick up one of the 2-liter cokes he’d dropped.

“I’m good” he winced, massaging his hip.

“You may wan grab another” I suggested, handing it back to him.

“You may wan watch where you’re going, you could’ve fucked my shit up.” he mimicked disrespectfully.

“Scuse me?” I paused, stepping back with a scowl. Who was he coming at sideways when he’s the one that ran into my basket? I fixed my lips to tear him down, but my voice caught in my throat.

“Oh shit! I was hoping I’d run into you again, just not literally, we forgot to exchange numbers.” Rocky lightened up, after recognizing me. I went from wanting to slap him, to wanting to jump his bones, and back to that strange feeling in the back of my gut. How the hell do I keep running into him?

“You following me?” I stared him down, trying to read him. I had to know, this was one too many coincidences. 

“How can I be following you when I’m on my way out?” He asked, waving his receipt.  “I was just picking up a few things for my little sister’s party ”

“Well, uh have fun.” I stammered, before rushing towards the checkout lane. Something about running into him two days in a row made me feel a little uneasy. He knows where I live, which means it’s possible he followed me. 

I didn’t see him or his car in the parking lot when I left the store, but I was more alert the entire ride home. By the time I made it home I convinced myself he lived nearby. That’s the only thing that made sense, so I said a quick prayer and brushed it off.

The next few days, I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder. I even went as far as having cameras installed at home. When you live alone, there’s no such thing as being too careful, so I updated my security system too. When everything was finished, I was impressed to say the least. I had everything connected to my phone, plus a couple of panic buttons around the house, in case I ever get caught slipping.

“This shit is dope” Mel exclaimed, as I explained the new system to her. “I just got one question. What’s going on?”

“What you mean?”

“Why did you get all this? Has Chris been threatening you?”

“What? Please! Not everything is about him. I just want to feel safe, that is all”

“You sure you’re not keeping anything from me?”

“I’m sure bitch! Now hurry up and roll up so we can get this movie started” I demanded, changing the subject. 

“Movie? Un-un! You still gotta pack your shit, we leave for Bim tomorrow.”

“Our flight ain’t til 11! I was gonna do it in the morning, you wanna help me?”

“Hell naw! You know how your ass is! It’s gon’ take you forever to pick out 3 days worth of clothes and I’m starving. I’m finna raid your fridge.” 

“Well, how ‘bout you pick my clothes and I fix dinner.” I bargained with a brow raise. 

“Ooooh, deal. I’ll take jerk chicken.” she jumped up a little too happily. “Besides, It’s been a minute since I raided your closet!”

“I betta not find nothing missing!” I called over my shoulder on my way to the kitchen.

CHRIS

"You can’t hold me!" Trey taunted, with his usual trash talk as the shot clock reached zero. We were at his crib playing 2K while Lala and Danni were cooking food, preparing for tomorrow. They were hosting Thanksgiving this year, so the house was smelling marvelous.

“Shut up man! You definitely got lucky” I shook my head in shame.

“Yeah okay, I beat yo ass bro. You just gon’ take that L?” he teased, challenging me to another round.

“Imma have to, I gotta get up outta here. I gotta be at the airport by 7am.” I explained, glancing at my watch. As much as I loved this game, I had other shit on my mind. I needed to figure out how to get Tae to hear me out, and what better way then through her best friend?

“Oh, you gotta get to Mama huh? Can’t miss out on that Thanksgiving dinner!”

“Nah, I’m actually gonna pop up on Tae. Maybe meet the fam and all that”

“Oh yeah? Can she cook?”

“You know what, now that you mention it,” I paused in deep thought. I don’t know. I’ve never had her cooking” 

“Well shit, I guess you about to find out! Good luck!” he laughed, cracking himself up. “But in all seriousness, how’s that going?”

“It’s cool” I lied with a shrug. “How’s the married life?”

“Man, if I knew marriage was the key to turn up the freak in Lala,  I would’ve did this shit a long time ago!” he exclaimed, grinning hard as hell.

“Guess that means it’s going good?”

“Nah, this shit is great. With the way we be going at it, she’s definitely gonna be pregnant any day. That’s if she ain’t already!”

“You fucking stupid” I laughed out loud and damn near choked when Lala came from the kitchen, holding a spatula covered in chocolate.

“Taste this” she demanded, as she strutted towards Trey. She had definitely put on a few pounds since I last saw her. Hopefully he was right and they were expecting. Everybody knew how much they wanted kids.

“Ugh, ain’t that cross contamination?” I frowned, shaking my head.

“Shut up, I’m still mad at you for what you did to my friend” Lala glared in my direction. 

“What you do?” Trey quizzed, looking confused. “You just said everything was cool”

“It was just a big misunderstanding” I sighed as I proceeded to explain the situation. 

“So you’re telling me you passed out next to yo horny ex-fuck buddy and ain’t hit?”

“I swear to God bro”

“No wonder she’s pissed. That just sounds like bullshit” Lala frowned, shaking her head. 

“It ain’t bullshit. Yeah, it looked bad, but I promise ya’ll I ain’t stupid enough to go down that road. I gave her some time to cool off, now I gotta go get my girl back”

“You really love her?” she wondered aloud as she cut her eyes at me.

“I do and I miss the shit outta her. Now what do I gotta do to at least get her to hear me out?”

“Chris, if I help you and you hurt my friend, I will personally help her fuck yo life up.”

“You ain’t gotta worry about that” 

“Okay, you got one shot. The only reason I’m even agreeing to help is because I know how she feels about you. She deserves to be happy. So if you ain’t 1000% sure about her then you should just leave things where they are. ”

“Damn he said he ain’t cheat! If my boy can survive that kind of temptation, then he know what he want. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience. ” Trey exclaimed on my behalf.

“He got a point. Now can you call her for me?

“Why you can’t call her?”

“You know she blocked me” I shook my head as she pulled her phone out.

“You wanna talk to her”

“Nah, I just need you to figure out what she got going on tomorrow so I can pop up on her. I know that seeing me face to face will show her how serious I am.”

“Okay, I can do that.” she smiled, as she dialed Tae’s number. She answered on the second ring and they caught up before she got the information I needed. Tae didn’t even think twice as she ran down her plans for tomorrow. I made Lala promise not to give her a heads up so she could be genuinely surprised. Now all I had to do was show up and speak my truth. How hard could that be?

ROBYN

“If the dog don’t trust it, you know something’s up” Mel blurted to the TV.  We were bundled up together on my love seat because my grown ass wanted to cuddle.

“I never understood why people don’t listen to they dogs!” I agreed, as we cracked our beers and clinked them. We were watching the Conjuring, knowing damn well we were gonna have nightmares from it. I didn’t care, I just needed a distraction.

Ever since the beach sex I had with Rocky, my hormones have been raging. That man had a magical tongue and the fact that he could hang for so long was impressive. I had more than a few orgasms when he’d finally gotten his, and I definitely didn’t expect that from a stranger. I didn’t know if he was really that good or if my drought intensified our encounter. Either way, I was still riding the high.

“You gonna answer that?” I asked, shaking Mel’s shoulder when her loud ass ringtone woke up my babies. Evidently, she was exhausted because she didn’t even make it halfway through the movie.

“Mellie” I called out again, but all she did was roll over and snore louder. I figured it was J when the text notification went off, so I grabbed her phone to let him know she had passed out.

I need another round, last night was incredible. 

What are you doing tonight?

Seeing Michael’s new text along  with no previous messages had my mind going straight to the gutter. I just knew this hoe wasn’t cheating on J. I wanted to wake her ass up, but decided against it. There had to be more to the story. I really hoped so.

My nosy ass could’t help it. I had to get more information. I went through her call history and didn’t notice his name once. I was about to dig even deeper when my phone lit up with an alarm notification. I received a text when my alarm noticed movement within 15 feet of my house. The last couple of times it was a squirrel but this time I was glad I checked it anyway. Apparently I had company.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about this unannounced visit, but smiled when a familiar face paused and took a deep breath before knocking at my door. 

“Sorry for popping up on you” Rocky grinned, when I opened the door.

“So you remembered where I live?”

“I couldn’t forget if I wanted to. My sister lives right across the street” he pointed behind him at the party that was going on. "She throws a mean Thanksgiving eve party if you don’t have anything going on.”

“Oh, um”

“I would’ve invited you the other day but you left so quickly I didn’t get your number” he hinted.

“My bad, I was in a hurry. I would go, but my sis is staying with me tonight.”

“The more the merrier. I bet she’d have a good time too”

“We actually have a flight in the morning, so we’re about to call it a night.” 

“Aight, guess I’ll just see you around.” he shrugged, returning to his party. The throbbing between my thighs wanted to invite him in to have our own little party, but my better judgement willed it away. Instead, I went straight to my room, pulled out my little friend, put some fresh batteries in, and went to work.

[vannahfanfics]

Shattered, Not Broken

Category: Hurt and Comfort, Angst, Family Fluff

Fandom: FullMetal Alchemist

Characters: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric 

The wind rolled over the hill, ruffling the grass to fill the air with a quiet thunder. The green blades flapped against Edward’s boots as he slowly trekked the winding dirt path meandering through the small cemetery on the outskirts of Resembool. The worn gravestones glinted white in the sunlight, bleached like bones. The image made a short wave of nausea roll up his esophagus that made acid burn at the base of his throat. He coughed uncomfortably and swallowed it down. Stop being a wimp, Ed. 

The sun beat down on his back, making his shoulders and long blond hair uncomfortably warm. He swept his braid from his neck to release some of the trapped heat, but a thin sheen of sweat already shone on his skin, and the perspiration had already dampened the neckline of his cotton shirt. Still, Edward ignored the blazing heat and continued his solemn march to the top of the hill, where a pair of headstones sat side-by-side, gleaming in the sun. 

Edward released a long sigh as he buried his hands into the pockets of his trousers. His eyes were lidded as they gazed down at the pair of graves to read the names and dates inscribed on the worn gray stone. His eyes drifted first to the one on the right that read Trisha Elric, then to the newer, cleaner one on the left that simply read Hohenheim. It was on the latter marker that Edward’s eyes remained fixed on, inspecting all the small fissures and specks of dirt that had accumulated in the long months since it had been placed. 

He shifted his foot from one foot to the other, deliberating what exactly to say. He hadn’t known what to think at first when Granny told him that she’d found Hohenheim slouched over his mother’s grave, all the breath and warmth long since vacated his body. He’d just sat there, slack-jawed, and uttered something the lines of, “Oh. So he’s gone, then.” However, when the watchful night closed in and he was finally left to process the fact that his father really was dead and gone, Edward felt a way he’d never expected— shattered. 

“It’s not fair,” he growled under his breath and curled up his fists tight. The gravestone stared back at him, unblinking, unforgiving. “You bastard! You shouldn’t just get to run off and die like that!” he accused with a jabbing finger at the bleached rock. Tears pooled in his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. Were they of sadness? Frustration? Relief? Probably all three. Edward’s chest heaved as his pointing finger wobbled as slight tremors wracked his body. 

“You shouldn’t… You shouldn’t get to do that,” Edward sniffed, voice cracking and softening as the sadness washed over him in great waves. His arm slowly fell to his side, mirroring his head slumping down so that his chin struck his chest. “We were… we were supposed to be together again.” 

Edward had sworn to himself once that he’d never acknowledge Hohenheim as his father and allow him into his life again. Yet, here he was, directly contradicting himself… Because that’s how he felt. Even after years of cursing the man’s name, resenting him for his abandonment, as soon as Edward had clapped eyes on him again, the first thing that had come surging up was not anger. No, that came second. 

What came first was joy— that foolish joy, the kind that makes one think that everything will be all right and nothing bad would ever happen again. Edward had thought that he’d long since grown out of that— after all, his life hadn’t been sunshine and rainbows for such a long time— but just one sight of Hohenheim, and he’d been reduced to that little boy clinging to his mother’s skirts and idyllic childhood. It had been maddening, frustrating, and oh, so nice. Perhaps that moment had never left him, had never truly been washed down by the surging hate he’d drudged up by force. Maybe deep down, Edward had fooled himself into really thinking that Hohenheim would come back. 

“I hate you,” Edward sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. Another lie he told himself day after day. He couldn’t hate Hohenheim, no matter how much he wanted to, after learning all the sacrifices and tribulations the immortal man had endured. As much as Edward wished to convince himself that Hohenheim was a selfish bastard, the fact of the matter was that Hohenheim was a selfless bastard. 

“I hate you for leaving again, you crappy old man,” he sighed and kneeled down in front of the gravestone. He pulled a small flask out of his pocket and uncapped it, then dumped it over the grass. The sharp scent of whiskey wafted into the air, burning Edward’s nostrils, as the brown liquid splashed over the green blades and seeped deep down into the earth to coat the wooden coffin lying below. He returned the empty silver flask to his pocket and then sucked in a breath. “Too many people are celebrating Father’s Day like this, and you just had to go and make me one of ‘em.” 

Edward thought of Alicia. She was probably sobbing over Maes’ grave right now, still too young to understand why her daddy was never coming back. He thought of Winry, who he’d found passed out on her bedroom floor that morning curled around a dusty medical textbook with her father’s name written inside. He thought about all the children across Amestris whose fathers had been taken in needless wars and merciless slaughters. He thought about the Ishvalans; even if they didn’t celebrate Father’s Day— he wouldn’t know. 

Edward thought about Alphonse, who was forcing a smile on his face as he helped Granny make pancakes and had so cheerfully said, “Granny, what should we make in honor of Father tonight?” 

“You should be here, you bastard.” Edward couldn’t muster up and venom to spew anymore. All that was left was the hollow coldness of sorrow, the chill of his voice freezing the breeze that rolled by again. “But happy Father’s Day, all the same.” He reached out to gently splay his hand across the headstone. It felt warm. Edward knew that it was just the stone soaking up the sun’s rays, but he still imagined a heartbeat pulsing within the rock, still imagined that his father was there listening to him tirade with that affectionate, apologetic smirk on his lips. 

Edward hated how much that smirk meant to him. That bastard. 

“Ed!” 

He looked over his shoulder to see Alphonse trotting through the gate, cheeks pink from breathlessness. His little brother hurried up the path to join him at the gravestones. “What… What are you doing?” he panted as he looked in confusion at Edward, kneeled in front of the headstone with his hand tenderly caressing Hohenheim’s name. 

Edward could lie, he supposed, to make himself look good. He didn’t really see the point, though. Alphonse knew him better than anyone; he’d look right through him and then scold him for setting a bad example for his little brother. The image alone of Alphonse stamping his foot and waggling his finger made Edward smile wryly. 

“I’m wishing this bastard a happy Father’s Day,” he shrugged. Alphonse’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head in shock, and he stared at Edward as he slowly rose and shoved his hands back in his pocket. His palm was still warm, heating up the cloth. “Telling him he shouldn’t have gone and died, the damn deadbeat. Now Granny has to drink whiskey all by herself!”

Alphonse stared at him for a moment, and then his face softened into a sweet smile. Alphonse could always pull off that look so well; even when Edward tried, he still looked a little grumpy. His little brother glanced at the gravestone with an appreciative hum; then, he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together in prayer. 

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I hope Mom treats you well today.” 

“Don’t say that,” Edward griped and lightly shoved his brother in the shoulder, making him yelp and pout at him. “He doesn’t deserve it. What he ought to be doing is kneeling at her feet, begging for forgiveness for all the missed Mother’s Days!” 

“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” 

“Hell no!” Edward sniffed and turned up his nose. “He’s got a million years to make up for all the crap he put her through!” 

“Well, it’s a good thing they have all the time in the world now,” Alphonse giggled. The comment made Edward stiffen, and then he melted, giving his brother a sappy smile. 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “They do, huh? That still won’t save him from when I get there and sock the hell out of him.” 

“Big Brother! You’ve already socked him while he was still alive!” 

“Yeah, well, I got a few more left in me, okay?!” 

Alphonse heaved a sigh, watching wearily as Edward whirled on his heel and began trudging out of the cemetery. He then trotted to catch up, a grin forming on his lips. 

“Hey, you know what Granny said? She’s making beef stew tonight!” 

“Beef stew, eh? No wonder you’re in such a good mood,” Edward smiled. Alphonse giggled happily and bumped shoulders with him. Edward marveled at the feeling; it wasn’t a metal shoulder, but one of flesh and bone. Even though he’d spent years fighting to get his brother’s body back, sometimes he found himself still not used to it. 

Edward glanced over his shoulder at the cemetery on the hill, where his mother and father rested in eternal slumber. I guess some things you never really will get used to, huh, Hohenheim? he wondered with a small smile. Just like… I’ll never really be used to it— the two of you being gone. 

“Ed! Al! Do you want to go with me to the market?” Winry’s voice came floating down the road as she stood, waving them down and cupping her hand to her mouth as she called. Alphonse cried out in affirmation and sprinted to meet her while Edward stopped walking, admiring the two people who meant the most in the world to him. 

The were voids in his heart that nothing could ever fill, but… Edward had to admit that his heart was pretty full, too— and it wouldn’t be this way if things hadn’t turned out the way that they did. Even if it was pretty damn painful in the process. He tipped his head back to the sky, where the clouds drifted along like white ships in an azure sea. 

I guess I should say thanks too, you shitty old man. 

“Ed! Are you coming?” 

He looked back down, where Winry and Alphonse were both smiling expectantly. 

“Yeah. I’m coming,” he said and got started down the road again. Piece by piece, he’ll put himself back together— even if there were a few holes here and there. Shattered, not broken, because he still had plenty of people here with him.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[kate-sinclaire]

bad reputation (raleigh x mc)

Pairing: Male Raleigh Carrera x MC (Ella Andrews)

Summary: This takes place in Platinum, chapter six, where MC goes on a “fake” date with Raleigh. In this fic, Ella realizes that she is in way over her head with this fake relationship and that she may actually have real feelings for him. She tells herself that there’s no way the feeling is mutual, but something in his eyes tells her that his reputation may not be as accurate as she initially thought.

Note: There may be differences between this and what actually happened; this is a work of my own, so I altered it a bit. :)

Word Count: 1723

WARNING: PG-13. Nothing explicitly sexual, but includes sexual themes.

NOTE: All characters (minus, in part, MC) belong to Pixelberry. I’m just borrowing them for creative purposes. I also do not own the image, I found it on pinterest.

I may also add onto this story depending on how people respond. I hope that you enjoy. Please comment if you’d like to be tagged in future Raleigh x MC fanfictions!

--

Ella took in a deep breath and stared out the front of the limo, carefully tuning out Fiona’s lecturing about how to appear the way that fans respond well to. Hank looked at Ella through the rearview mirror and flashed her his usual encouraging smile. “Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re Ella Andrews! You’ve got this!” Fiona shot him a look of annoyance but continued on without missing a beat.

Ella’s heart warmed a bit, and she gave him a grateful nod, allowing herself to rest back in her seat. Hank could be a life coach if he put his mind to it. She gave Fiona another glance in an attempt to feign listening and rested her head against the window. She didn’t know why she was so anxious; this was fake. Everything about it was fake. And maybe that’s what made it worse because how she felt when he looked at her wasn’t fake.

“Ella, are you listening?” Fiona asked, running her hand in front of Ella’s face.

She nodded with a smirk. “You want me to act the part of doting girlfriend. PDA is strongly encouraged. Act as organically as possible. It doesn’t matter if the feelings aren’t real as long as they look real.” Fiona nodded, wide-eyed, and set her binder aside.

“That’s exactly right, well done,” she smiled. It always made Ella feel good when she caught Fiona, letting herself relax. The occurrence was so rare that it could be described as a miracle. She could tell that Hank appreciated it, too.

When the limo pulled over, the brief moment of calm was shattered. “Alright, time to shine. You’ve got this.”

Ella swallowed hard and gave Hank a smile as he opened the doors. “Everyone, back up. Give her some room.” She flashed the cameras a grin and even waved before stepping out. Raleigh waited for her at the entrance of the restaurant, and she sucked in a breath of air.

He was leaned up against the foyer wearing a crisp black suit, and when his eyes landed on her, they threatened to swallow her whole. He offered his usual smirk and ran a hand through his hair. He was oblivious to how he made her feel. How was she going to get through this unscathed?

She made her way up to him, her knees shaky, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. His stubble scratched her skin, and she prayed that she wasn’t as flushed as she felt. “Shall we?” he asked, holding out a hand. The twinkle in his eyes let her know that her prayer was unanswered.

“We shall,” she smiled, daring to make eye contact. Big mistake.

He led her to the back of the place and pulled out her chair. Before sitting, she took a moment to look around at the architecture, from the marble floor to the crystal chandelier hanging elegantly above the two of them, to the beautiful columns that reminded her somewhat of Ancient Greece. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she picked up the menu and tried to focus on the words scrawled in front of her.

How the hell am I supposed to eat when my stomach is in knots like this? She could hear the faint clicking and flashing of cameras outside the window and bit down on her lip. “You’re tense,” his voice was smooth; God, it was smooth. He was smooth.

She set her menu down and forced a small smile. “I’m just not used to this, yet, I guess.” She took a sip of water, which somehow left her throat feeling drier than before.

Raleigh leaned forward and rested a hand on top of hers. Excited flashes of paparazzi cameras lit up the back wall. She winced. “Hey, look at me,” he urged, stroking her skin with his thumb. He made her feel so warm. She looked up and met his gaze, which altered ever so softly as the corners of his lips quirked up. “Pretend they aren’t here. Pretend it’s just the two of us in this douchey restaurant having a grand old time on our fake date.”

She laughed and felt some of the tension in her body flood away. “What, you don’t regularly take your romantic conquests to this unbelievably fancy French restaurant?”

“Hard to believe, I know. I prefer places with a looser dress code,” he grinned, running his tongue along his bottom lip. Ella could feel her heart threaten to pound out of her chest while her mind flashed before her a thousand images of what such situations would entail. She swallowed. Sure, it would be easy to coax out a one night stand from Raleigh Carrera, but it wouldn’t mean anything. And she had never been one for casual sex. She glanced down, noticing his hand still resting on top of her’s, warm and comforting.

His eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused by her expression, and then glanced down at his hand, eyes widening at the realization. Embarrassed, he took it back and ran it through his hair. “What about you? Is this your dream date?”

Ella broke apart one of the breadsticks to recover, offering the other half to her fake boyfriend, who quickly took it. “What do you take me for, Carrera? My fantasies aren’t this dull.” He raised his hands in mock surrender and stuffed the bread into his mouth, crumbs falling down his lips. “I’d rather spend a night binging something on Netflix, eating pizza, and moaning in ecstasy as my date rips my clothes to shreds with his teeth.”

Raleigh choked and quickly guzzled the water next to him in an attempt to regain composure. How was he so attractive, even now? "Sounds like a good date," he croaked, pulling at his collar.

Ella thanked the waitress as she dropped off the entres and turned her focus back toward her very frazzled fake boyfriend. Twirling the pasta with a fork somewhat absentmindedly, her thoughts raced. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? She bit down on her lip, scolding herself internally. This was fake. He wasn’t interested; he didn’t care about her.

“So, why me?” she asked, sipping her glass of rosé. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Why would the infamous Raleigh Carrera be paired up with a barely famous pop star?”

“First off,” he swallowed. “You aren’t barely famous. You’re up and coming, and you know it. Second, damage control thought that pairing me up with the next goodie two shoes Taylor Swift would be good for my image.”

“I am not a goodie two shoes!” she insisted, though her voice broke with laughter.

“Right,” he smirked. “Who did you say your musical inspiration/idol is, again?”

She took a moment, trying to think of something clever to retort with. She couldn’t. “Avery Wilshire...but, to be fair-”

“I rest my case, babe.” He gave her a playful wink, which should’ve been harmless. But it wasn’t. Nothing about this situation was harmless. Not to Ella.

A familiar tune filled the restaurant, and she noticed Raleigh shift uncomfortably, crossing his arms. 

Baby, you��re a diamond, let me give you a ring,

Talkin’ ‘bout forever, I’m not here for a fling...

“Hey, isn’t this your song? Back when you were in a band?” she asked, suddenly acutely aware of her situation. She was on a fake date with the Raleigh Carrera; this wasn’t normal. She wasn’t normal anymore. “It’s called...oh, what is it called? ‘Be My Eternity,’ right?’“ She noticed him shift again.

“It’s a dumb song,” he remarked, looking - for the first time- deflated.

“You must be kidding,” she argued, her eyes finding his. “I used to really jam out to this song in high school. Full-on hairbrush mic and everything.”

“And that might be the only good thing about that song,” he grimaced. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Before she could reply, he had already grabbed her hand and was leading her out of the restaurant.

--

After a short limo ride to Central Park, the two walked down one of the numerous paths. Raleigh’s arm wrapped around Ella’s waist, pulling her close, and she walked similarly with her head nearly resting on his chest. She could hear his heart-beat; steady and sure. Everything that she wasn’t.

“Every time I come here, I’m amazed,” she marveled, gazing at the gorgeous leaves that, every so often, fell from the touch of wind. She glanced up at him only to see that he was gazing at her, already. If she didn’t know better, she could’ve sworn that she felt a skip of his heart. Her gaze drifted to his lips, and he cleared his throat.

“We should...we should find a spot to sit,” he offered, pulling away and offering his hand instead. She smiled, a bit embarrassed, interlocked her fingers with his.

They sat together on a shaded patch of grass, and before she could say anything to ease the tension of the situation, Raleigh pulled her closer and kissed her hard. His tongue accepted the invitation into her mouth, twirling, and exploring expertly. Without thinking, Ella climbed on top of him and straddled his lap while running her fingers through his hair. God, he smelled good.

His hands ran down her stomach and to the waistband of her jeans. He hooked his fingers under the front two loops and pulled her forward aggressively. She let out a small moan as she moved higher, allowing his lips to trail down her neck and over her collarbone. He felt so good.

Nearly out of breath, she glanced to the trees and let out a shaky sigh as she focused on the sensations crawling throughout her body. “What--what is this for?” His fingers moved underneath her shirt and played at the band of her bra.

He peered up at her and ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “Wanted to give the paparazzi a show,” he replied, his voice husky. Her heart dropped a little and, in an attempt to hide it, she moved down and gave him one last deep and sensual kiss before untangling herself from his hands.

Raleigh looked at her, unsatisfied and confused. She placed a hand on his chest and smiled sadly, allowing herself to feel his heart race against her palm. “Show’s over.”

[rockabelle]

Confession: Part 2

See here for part 1

---

Yamato’s body reacted before his mind had fully processed the words, his hand jolting back from Taichi’s in surprise.

He regretted the action immediately. It felt like it would be too weird to put his hand back, though.

He shifted in his seat, trying to think.

“Are you sure?”

Taichi’s face was usually so expressive, but he couldn’t read it now. All he knew was that his friend was barely breathing, and every word out of his mouth was making it worse.

“I mean, you said you were figuring things out, so…have you finished? Or are you still, uh. Is it possible that you’re just confused?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Taichi said like he was trying to enunciate each word very clearly.

“Alright. Okay.” He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. “Does anyone else know?”

“You’re the first I’ve told.”

“Not even Hikari?”

Taichi’s mouth twisted. “She wouldn’t want to hear from me right now.”

The sad thing was that was probably true. Hikari was still Hikari, so it was not as though she was acting petulant or hostile. There was just an absence of something that had been there, invisible and warm in the air between her and her brother.

Yamato was so used to the way the two of them were around each other that he hadn’t noticed it until it was gone. They had always been so tuned into each other. They always seemed to be aware of what the other was doing when they were in the same physical space, like they kept an ear out for a note no one else could hear. It wasn’t like they orbited around each other, but there was a harmony to the way they moved.

There was something discordant about them, now. It was probably hardly noticeable to most people, but to the original Chosen Children, it was painfully obvious. And Hikari wouldn’t allow anyone to address it. For as different as their personalities were, sometimes it was so obvious that she and Taichi were related.

Yamato could not believe that a closeness like theirs could be gone for good. They cared too much for each other, and there was an injustice to Hikari’s anger that he believed she was too good to let fester forever.

Would she turn away from her brother when he needed her? It pained Yamato that he couldn’t say ‘no’ for certain.

Taichi had spent the last few weeks not meeting Yamato’s eyes, and now he wouldn’t stop.

“There’s an underclassman,” Taichi said, like he was answering a question Yamato hadn’t asked. “Some of his classmates found gay porn on his phone. They’ve been hassling him and spreading rumors.”

Yamato had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going.

“So you want to, what? Come out and take some of the heat off him?”

“Not exactly. Or that’s not the only reason.” His leader bit his lip. “I’ve spoken up before- told people to knock it off. But it doesn’t feel like enough. The stuff they’re saying about this guy- it’s not true. They definitely would know that stuff wasn’t true about me, so if they knew that I was gay, too, then maybe it would change the assumptions they’re making about him.”

“Or maybe they’d just harass you, too,” Yamato hissed.

“They could try.” Taichi’s jaw set.

“Are you really thinking this through? This is the kind of thing that could ruin your life if it gets out. It could make it hard for you to get jobs, get accepted into schools, even get housing. It could follow you for the rest of your life.”

Yamato slapped a hand on the table. “Do you even know what it’s like to be an outcast? As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been popular. You’re a star athlete and you’ve got a way with people. You draw in friends like moths to a flame. I’ve always,” he swallowed. “Kind of envied that about you. Sometimes I’ve thought that you should be the one with the Crest of Friendship.”

Taichi said nothing, lips parting with surprise.

“The point is that if this gets out, that could all change. It won’t matter what kind of person you are, all anyone will see is a preconception. Something to look down on. Maybe even to fear. You don’t fit the stereotype, Taichi, but people could still imagine that you do.”

This was all going wrong. Yamato hadn’t meant to say any of this, didn’t even know where it was coming from, but it was true, wasn’t it? He had to make Taichi understand that this- this whim he was having, this stupidly brave desire to protect someone else based on a confused feeling that might not even be more than a phase, this could seriously harm him. Taichi was supposed to be more mature than this, now.

It just figured that Taichi would hesitate when he should have charged forward during their battles and then rediscover his reckless attitude the minute that behavior was no longer useful. Damn him.

The worst part was that Yamato knew he was saying exactly the wrong things to get him to stop. A familiar light was growing in Taichi’s eyes that thrilled Yamato even as it frustrated him. He’d missed it so much; thought for a time that it might be gone for good.

Taichi, who had seemed almost like a stranger at times over the last few months, looked more and more like himself with every passing second. The quiet, nervous person from earlier who could barely confess what he felt was gone. Taichi sat up straight in his seat, head raised and shoulders back.

“I can’t go through life hiding,” he said. “That’s not who I am. You think I’ve never felt alone or hated? I’ve never faced others’ fear? You should know better than that!” It was almost a shout.

Yamato thought of everything they’d been through together, in both worlds, and couldn’t deny the rebuke.

Taichi continued, eyes burning. “I can handle opposition and hardship, okay? But I can’t survive losing myself. If I sit silently by, if I just deny an entire side of myself, my life, that is what will happen. I know it, I’ve known it for a while, but I’ve been too afraid to do anything about it. I’m done with that.”

Both of them were breathing hard, like they’d been trading physical blows.

“I need to know, Yamato. Can I count on you? Are you on my side?”

“I think this is one of the stupidest ideas you’ve ever had,” Yamato snarled. “And that’s saying something. Of course I’m on your side, you fucking idiot. Like I’d leave you over something like this.”

The grin that lit Taichi’s face shone like the sun and Yamato felt like he hadn’t seen it in a thousand years. His chest ached as he grinned back.

“Then I guess I know what I need to do.”

“What?” Yamato asked, alarmed.

“I’ll tell my family. Tonight.”

“That soon?”

“Better to get it over with, right? I’ve waited long enough.”

Everything was happening so quickly. Yamato rested his elbows on the table and pressed his hands together in front of his mouth, thinking.

“Tell them at dinner. I have band practice after that. I can stop at your place on the way. If it goes badly, come with me to my practice and take your books. Say that you’re going to do homework with me. If all goes well, then just tell me that you don’t need help with your homework after all.”

“You never let any of us go to your practices. You even make Takeru sit outside, sometimes. ‘Too distracting to the creative process,’ wasn’t it?”

Yamato glared over his fingers. “If you think I’m going to leave you alone tonight if your family reacts badly, you can go to hell. Even if everything goes well, if you want some company, then you come with me. No bullshit trying to shoulder things alone. Promise me.”

“Alright. I promise,” Taichi said softly.

“I’m trusting you on this,” Yamato warned.

“I know. No bullshit.”

They exchanged a look; Taichi’s warm, Yamato’s faintly embarrassed.

“That’s settled, then.” Yamato cleared his throat. “I need to get going. Some of us actually have to cook for ourselves, you know.” He paused. “Unless you want me to be there with you when you tell them?”

Taichi thought about it, but shook his head. “Thanks, but it’d be better with just the family, I think.”

“What do you think Hikari will do?”

His friend’s brows drew together painfully. “I wish I knew.”

They were silent. Then Taichi stood up and fumbled in his pocket for his wallet.

“I can get it,” Yamato protested.

“No way. It’s the least I can do. Thanks for, well. For listening.” Taichi rubbed his nose. “I really appreciate your support, you know?”

“Yeah, well. It’s not like there’s any stopping you when you get like this,” Yamato said gruffly.

Taichi flashed a small smile and Yamato felt like he should have to blink spots out of his vision. Had it really been so long since he’d seen Taichi smile genuinely that he’d forgotten how intense it could be? It was like he’d built up a callous, like the ones on his fingers from playing guitar, and it had faded from lack of practice. With just a couple plucks of his heartstrings, he was left sore and stinging.

“Wish me luck.”

“Good luck.”

As Taichi dashed away from the shop door through the rain, hair soaked through and starting to droop down more like a normal person’s within moments, Yamato thought of a prayer his grandmother had taught him.

He murmured, “May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. May the powerless find power, and may people think of one another. May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness–the children, the aged, the unprotected–be guarded by beneficent celestials, and may they swiftly attain enlightenment.”

He smiled to himself. He was not really a spiritual person, but that prayer had always stuck in his mind. The “trackless, fearful wilderness” made him think of the Digital World, and the “beneficent celestials” reminded him of their partner digimon.

Now, he could only hope that whatever beneficent divine presence there might exist in this world would breathe protection over his best friend. He couldn’t think of anyone more deserving.

[ranjxtul]

Church of Scars ||Aragon

song shot based upon ‘Hallowed Ground’ by Bishop Briggs. I have no idea why it’s Christmas, but enjoy soft Aragon.

Catherine of Aragon sat outside in the biting winter air. The chill of the falling snow lost on her, her eyes only vaguely registering the darkening sky which illuminated the warm Christmas lights beginning to shine in the growing dusk. A long cold mug of tea sat on the ground beside her chair, its contents forgotten for contemplation and peace.

The porch of the queens’ home provided minimal shelter from the winter winds and Aragon meager sweater, track pants, and socks did little to insulate her body, but she didn’t care. For the first time since the Christmas season had begun she found a moment of peace. From shows to festivities (which she willingly had a hand in) peace and quiet moments were few and far in between. For once, she didn’t mind it though.

Her first Christmas back with the queens she’d made so many memories she wouldn’t trade for anything: decorating the tree with Katherine, baking Christmas cookies with Jane, carol sing-alongs in the dressing room with Cleves and Boleyn. These new memories, however, caused her to think back to the Christmases she’d celebrated with Mary.

Of course the holiday festivities were much different now and therefore nearly incomparable, but the emotions evoked were similar. She wondered if Mary would enjoy Christmas as it was now, if she’d find as much joy in it as Aragon did.

With that thought, an unmistakable melancholy washed over her bones. While she wouldn’t trade any of the memories she had with the queens, she missed Mary and missed making memories with her. Mary was her little girl, and she’d been so mistreated by her father throughout her life and in the end separated from Catherine.

Following that train of thought, Mary’s life came to mind next accompanied by a feeling she couldn’t name which consisted of her gut twisting and her heart feeling as if it were aching. Abruptly, the woman shut her eyes so as to stop the intrusive thoughts from flooding her mind and instead dropped her head to say a prayer for her daughter.

She moved her lips, the words ghosting gently across her lips, “Dear Lord, I don’t understand what control you might have in the situation of who gets a second chance, but my Mary deserves it. She deserves to have a chance to experience this world, a world without him. I want to make memories with her and I just… miss her. I pray you forgive her, or well at this point I suppose have forgiven her for… everything,” she paused as her new family came to mind before she spoke again, “and I pray for the queens. They’re the best family I could have upon having a second chance. Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll lose them, and I’m not sure I could handle that, not when I’ve grown to love them… I guess, what I mean by that is please guide them and protect them, Lord.” An unspoken plea of needing her new family and the omnipresent fear that she’d somehow lose them traveled to the forefront of her mind.  “Amen,” Aragon finally finished with a quiet sigh.

Praying helped bring her peace; it always had. Her religion was a constant, and if one thing could be said of Catherine of Aragon, it was that she loved her God. The lord was the reason for the holiday she loved so much after all. That wasn’t all she loved about it though, she loved the hope and the atmosphere. She’d never consider herself an optimist, but something about Christmas seemed to awaken her own hope for the future in regards to herself and those around her.

She supposed that hope lay buried for the rest of the year, but she wouldn’t allow herself to feel it without an extenuating factor. She suppressed it from the first moment she’d met the queens. Disregarding any bad blood she had with Anne, they had all clicked relatively quickly. That frightened Aragon if she was honest with herself, and that fear is what drove her to play so heavily into her calm, cool persona. The less she showed vulnerability and let others in, the less she’d have to lose if she lost them or they tossed her aside.

While she preferred not to dwell on either of those fears, somewhere in her subconscious they thrived and in her weak moments they leapt out for an attack. That being said, each time she’d found herself letting the queens in she fought the urge to withdraw and close back up, but slowly and surely Aragon found herself trusting the queens around her more and more.

In moments of stress, she wondered if that was a wise decision. The queens were people after all, and people could be volatile. Catherine still found herself walking on eggshells in some ways despite how far she’d come on being comfortable around the queens. Though, there were plenty of moments she didn’t regret letting the queens in. They were her new family.  

The sound of the door clicking open alerted Aragon to someone joining her. Soon enough, Jane came into her field of vision. “Love, it’s sort of cold out here. You looked peaceful though, thought I might bring you this blanket.” Jane nodded toward the blanket draped over her arm.

Catherine blinked a few times, finally registering the cold and the chill that had found its way to her bones, “Yeah, thanks, Jane,” she nodded reaching to take the blanket from Jane who turned to leave. “You want to stay?” she asked in a moment of spontaneity.

Jane turned on the spot, “Sure,” she made her way to sit by Aragon on the swing and pulled the blanket over her legs before letting the silence fall again. The silence was comfortable and Aragon would have left it be if she’d been more alert, but something about the serenity of the situation left her remaining defenses and filters lower than normal. “I’m grateful for you all, you know. And I pray for you all every night,” she spoke with a short nod.

Jane, shocked at the candor of the confession turned her head. She’d known Aragon a little under a year, and she knew it was rare for her to be so open, even in such a small way as directly admitting she was grateful for the queens. Jane had grown accustomed to Aragon showing her emotions through small gestures rather than vocalizing them, but she wasn’t going to stop the queen beside her. She observed her serene face for a moment more before responding, “I can speak for us all when I say it’s appreciated, and so are you.”

Aragon flashed Jane a small smile, but in her head she dissected Jane’s statement. She could detect the sincerity easily, but a small part of Aragon was still hesitant to believe it. She should, logically, and a large part of her did, but the small voice that told her not to, that told her to shut up and build her walls again didn’t. Thankfully, that voice was so minute she could tune it out in that moment. “I was just thinking,” she forged ahead cautiously. “About how Christmas so far has just been… spectacular.” She settled on spectacular, unable to properly voice her sentiments in that moment.

The blonde queen nodded, taking in the emotion behind Catherine’s words. An unmistakable vulnerability and genuine love glowed underneath the hesitant delivery. “I wouldn’t trade these memories for anything,” Aragon continued after a moment. “It does make me miss the Christmases I’d have with Mary.”

Jane couldn’t relate exactly, seeing as she’d never had a Christmas with Eddie, but she did understand the longing. Catherine had been a wonderful mother who loved her daughter fiercely; if one thing could be said about her, that would be it. Finally, Jane replied, “What were they like?” Asking about her memories could go one of two ways. Aragon could shut down, or maybe if she continued like she had been she could get it off of her chest.

“So joyous,” Aragon started softly, startling even herself. “She loved the reason behind it all. We would go to mass and celebrate the Lord. Then we’d celebrate with a feast. I remember it vividly,” she said allowing herself to float off in the memories until Jane’s voice pulled her back.

“It sounds like a splendid time.”

Catherine nodded, “It was… really,” she gave a small smile in Jane’s direction. “I think she’d like it this here with us, to see everyone so at peace.”

Jane simply nodded, allowing Aragon to have her memories and her moment. The conversation fell back into comfortable silence as Aragon got lost in her thoughts once more. Her heart ached at the thought of her daughter, but she couldn’t deny the overall sense of peace that had fallen over her that night. Maybe it was the season, or perhaps Catherine was healing in some way. She had her family now, and even if she wondered whether or not she wouldn’t have them one day, she had them now. In that moment, Catherine was satisfied with that.

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It: Part Six

Jensen x Musician!Reader

Also featured this chapter: Jared Padalecki & Briana Buckmaster

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part five is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.  Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify).

Beta’d by @closetspngirl​ who has contributed so much to this fic! Thank you for not only indulging my lunacy but encouraging it with gusto!

Chapter Summary: The fall out from New Year’s Eve isn’t exactly what Y/N had hoped for but after some counsel from a friend, she makes a rash decision that could either be the answer to her prayers or be the beginning of her nightmare.

Chapter Warnings: Angst (We’re sorry. Kinda.)

WC: 6.8K 

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

Y/N barely remembered the ride home. She remembers Bri parking and walking her to the door, but the ride itself was a blur. She was sad and confused, but mostly angry with herself for running out on Jensen. She just kept thinking if they hadn’t stopped, if she would have just not been a hot mess for a second, she could have stayed, then he would be the one bringing her home.

“Come on, you go up and change, and I’ll make some tea.”

“Hm?” Y/N asked as Bri’s voice pulled her back from the dark winding alley of what if’s.

“Tea?”

“Oh, yeah. Help yourself. I have a bunch of different kinds in the cabinet,” she replied, vaguely pointing towards the kitchen.

“Ok,” Bri said, and guided her towards the stairs. “Go up and get comfy. If you got a pair of sweats I could borrow, I’d love ya forever. This dress is cute and all, but I believe the rest of the evening calls for comfort.”

“Bri, you don’t have to stay. I feel bad making you leave the party. I’m sure things were just getting started.”

Bri waved her off. “It’s fine. I’d much rather be on that couch over there talking to you with something warm and soothing than getting drunk and dealing with handsy men.”

“I thought you were married,” Y/N chuckled as she climbed the first two stairs.

“Who do you think I was talking about?”

Y/N laughed and kept climbing. “I’ll bring you down something.”

“Bless you!” Bri called after her before she disappeared to the second floor.

Y/N walked into the bedroom, her luggage still packed from her trip home; the clothes she wore on the plane still in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed. The bags her dress and accessories had come in were in a crumpled pile in the middle of her comforter. Slowly, she unzipped the dress and laid on the chair in the corner of the room. One by one she removed all her jewelry, except the necklace Jensen had given her. For the second time that day she stared at her reflection and was disgusted with what she saw looking back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” she asked herself softly. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see her face any longer, or the tear-streaked mascara that currently painted her cheeks. She concentrated on clothing, then found an extra pair of sweats and a T-shirt for Bri. The thought of the woman downstairs currently making tea made her feel a little better, and knowing she wouldn’t have to manage this night alone, helped to calm her nerves just a smidge.

When she returned back to the kitchen there were two mugs on the island, with tea bags ready for steeping. Y/N handed Bri the clothes and when she left to change, Y/N continued fixing the tea. She tried to just focus on that for the moment, and not the line of questions her brain wanted to throw at her. Y/N knew she’d be answering those exact questions from Bri any minute now, so why bother going through it twice?

“So much better, thank you,” Bri moaned as she came back into the kitchen. “This is a great place you got here.”

“Isn’t it? I told him it was too much house for me, but…”

“He insisted.”

“He did.”

“Of course, because that’s Jensen.”

“I know,” she sighed and stopped what she was doing to rest her hands on the edge of the counter, her head falling down to hang between her arms.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Bri said and was at her side with a hand gently laid on her back.

“You didn’t Bri. I’m just so mad at myself right now. You’re absolutely right. That’s just... Jensen. Generous and overly kind. He is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.”

“Agreed. So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the problem? I know I was sort of teasing you about it earlier, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I saw you two walk in. Anyone that looked at the two of you and thought you were just friends would be crazy to think that.”

“Or in denial,” she added, making Bri laugh.

“Or that.”

Y/N pushed off the counter and grabbed her mug. Bri followed suit as they transitioned to the living room and sat on opposite ends of the couch. Y/N sipped at her tea, and while it offered the calming comfort she needed, she still regretted that it wasn’t another shot of bourbon with Jensen at the bar.

“Seriously though,” Bri said after placing her tea on the end table. “What happened? I know we’re new friends, and I don’t want to be intrusive, but when you run out of a room like that, leaving a man that fine standing there with his heart in his hands… there’s gotta be a reason.”

Y/N was quiet. She could feel Bri’s eyes on her but kept hers cast down into the cup as if she was trying to read tea leaves.

When she did finally answer, her voice was raspy and small. “There’s a reason.”

“Do you want to--”

Y/N nodded. “It’s not a question of whether I want to talk about it or not, I think I need to. Especially to him… but where do I start?”

Bri considered this and shrugged. “The beginning?”

“Might as well,” she sighed. “But that level of… truth. That amount of vulnerability, how do I know I’m trusting the right person with it? How do I know that Jensen wouldn’t use it again me, or judge me, or--”

“Because that’s not Jensen. Honey, look…” Bri slid along the couch to get closer to her and rested a comforting hand on her knee. “We all have a past. We all have trauma and baggage… exes…”

Y/N’s head snapped up at this, confirming Bri’s already established suspicions on the reasoning for her quick departure.

Her voice was still barely above a whisper. “I know.”

“But,” Bri continued, “at some point, you have to realize that all that crap you carry along with you, is only going to weigh you down. It won’t let you actually rise up to experience better things. And, as far as knowing who you can trust, I think you already know he’s different. I think that if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“You’re right… he is different. I know that. I’m just a fucking coward who doesn’t know what to do.”

“You’ll figure it out. I know it’s not always as simple as follow your heart. Especially not when that heart has been pulled out, torn to shreds and glued back together with Elmer’s as I suspect yours has. So, before you make up your mind in any way, you need to figure out what’s most important. For you.”

Y/N sipped at her tea and was grateful for Bri’s sudden appearance in her life. There were a lot of things she was unsure about, and the way that Bri could offer counsel without judgment or telling her what to do was not only greatly appreciated, but much needed.  

“I will say one thing though,” Bri continued, and when she sat up straighter on the couch, Y/N worried for a moment that she was wrong and the barrage of judgment would begin. “I may not be as close to Jensen as say, Jared and Robbie, but I’ve gotten to know him well over the last couple years. That man is as genuine as they come. There’s not an ounce of pretension or malice in him. He’s been through it, too.”

“Dee?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, and others. I can see he likes you; everybody can see that he likes you. All I’m saying is, if he likes you, he means it. I doubt he would go above and beyond for just anyone. He’s had his walls up, too. So maybe, instead of second guessing yourselves, you both need to start taking those sledgehammers and do some work, hmm?”

Y/N knew Bri was right, she had a lot of work to do. The most important of which was to call Jensen and apologize. The problem with that was she wasn’t sure what else to say, other than she was sorry for leaving him the way she did. The same fears and concerns were still there, festering due to years and years of insecurity, distrust, and mistreatment. Her disappearing act was due more to herself than to Jensen, and he needed to know that; if he would even still talk to her.

“I should call him,” she said, more to herself, but Bri nodded along with her.

“Yes, you should.”

From the kitchen, the sound of Y/N’s cell phone ringing made them both sit up straighter and start laughing.

“Well, if that’s not perfect timing…” Bri giggled excitedly. “I bet it’s him calling to check on you!”

The thought made Y/N’s stomach both drop and flutter with excitement. She put her tea down and slowly walked into the kitchen, almost afraid to pick it up out of her purse and answer it. By the time her fingers were able to retrieve it from the bottom of her bag, it had stopped ringing. She brought it with her into the living room and once she was back on the couch, she felt brave enough to swipe up and see who it had been.

One Missed Call

One Missed Text

Y/N saw it wasn’t Jensen that had tried to reach her, but Nathan. If there was a word for the feeling of both being disappointed and relieved at the same time, she didn’t know what it was, but that’s exactly how she felt. She wouldn’t return the call, but she did read the text after she made sure her read receipts were turned off.

>>Sorry I called so late. I know you were at your work thing, just wanted to say Happy New Year. I hope this is the year we can find our way back to being friends again. Call me soon, ok?

“From Jensen?” Bri asked eagerly. “What did he say?”

“Not Jay, Nathan.”

“Nathan?”

“The ex.”

“Oohhh,” Bri said, elongating her response and leaned back into her corner of the couch. “So, the complication has a name.”

Y/N looked up at her and wasn’t sure how to answer. The longer she just looked at Bri and didn’t speak, the more she just wanted to cry. In the years since Nathan had left, many tears were spilled and at some point, she’d had enough. A switch was flipped in her, and she went from one extreme to another; having gone two years without one of her sobbing, snotting breakdowns. Now there was one lurking, she could feel it bubbling up from the depths of her heart; the parts she’d closed off to just about everyone. Sitting with a stranger, in a strange city wasn’t the best time for it, despite the fact that Bri was starting to feel like an old friend.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “He, uh… he just recently came back into my life and…” she didn’t know how to finish it because she thought her feelings about him had resolved. Clearly, she had been wrong. Nathan had been terrible to her in the last year they were together, but before that… there had been decades of good times. Could she really just walk away from all that? Nathan was one of the reasons that made her walk away from Jensen, she knew that. Now, Y/N needed to understand why Nathan was on her mind at all.

It wasn’t hard to sense that Y/N was going to open the flood gates, but Bri could also tell that it was hard for her to trust that she’d be safe enough too. Y/N’s eyes were brimming with tears and the way her bottom lip was quivering just trying to hold it in, broke Bri’s heart. She swung her legs to the floor and motioned for Y/N to come and sit closer beside her.

“Come on… you gotta let it out, honey.” Bri rested her arm along the back of the couch and watched as Y/N slowly moved along the couch and curled up in the crook of her arm. “Just let it go. And when it’s all out, we can talk about it, or not. But you can’t deal with anything until you just let it go.”

That’s just what she did. And when she was done, having soaked through part of her new friend’s shirt, Y/N fell asleep with a new understanding of what it means to truly be vulnerable.

The pain in Jensen’s head woke him before the afternoon sun did. There was no use in trying to remember how much he drank, just that it was somewhere in the vicinity of a bottle of bourbon and maybe a couple tequila shots for good measure. When he was finally able to command his body to move, he pushed himself up on his elbows and waited for the thumping in his brain to stop. Of course, it didn’t.

“Motherfucker…” he groaned, finally able to sit up a little more. Within minutes, he was fully sitting, knees pulled up and his arms around the loose sheet covering him. His chest was bare, and he could feel the linen against his thighs, telling him that he was sans pants, as well. Trying to remember how he ended up Jared’s guest room, he rested his forehead against his knee and left it there. He knew he had to keep moving towards getting up, dehydration was imminent, yet as much as he demanded his body to function it refused to listen.

A soft knock at the door was what finally got him to lift his head.

Thump, Thump, Thump…

“Yeah,” he called out, though his throat was too dry to give it any oomph. “Yeah!” he tried again, this time seeing the door crack open as he winced at the burn it caused.

“You decent?” Jared asked and paused before coming in any further.

“Am I ever?” he quipped and groaned again when Jared came all the way into the room.

“Nope. Here, I thought you could use this.” Jared offered a bottle of water which Jensen took gratefully. “You hit the bottle pretty hard last night, man. Surprised you’re upright, to be honest.”

“I am? Cause in my mind I’m still laying down and passed the fuck out…” He twisted off the cap and sipped at it slowly. He’d learned his lesson a long time ago about the benefits of slowly hydrating.

Jared waited for him finish his drink and rest back against the headboard. “So, wanna share as to why I found you in the game room with an empty bottle of Jim Beam?”

“Nope,” he said again and went back to the water.

“Alright, at least tell me if it has anything to do with why you were alone and not with Y/N?”

Jensen’s eyes looked up quickly, the movement of which made black spots appear behind them. He blinked them away and brought his fingers to his forehead. “Can you give me like ten minutes to just remember where I am before you start the Spanish Inquisition?”

Jared sighed heavily and knew that his friend was simply stalling. “Dude…”

“Fine. Yes, it has to do with her, alright?” Jensen replied sharply.

“What happened?”

“I just said I didn’t walk to talk about it.”

“If I were anyone else, you could get away with that. But I know you. If you don’t talk about it now, you’ll bury it and all that bullshit. Then it festers and you act like an ass. So, talk.”

Jensen picked his head up and glared at Jared. Of course, he wanted to bury it; he felt humiliated and angry. He didn’t want to admit to what happened, not because Jared would judge him, but because he didn’t want to acknowledge his own mistakes.

“Y/N and I kissed at midnight,” he said flatly.

“Ok, and?”

“It quickly got… heated.”

“Oh,” Jared breathed and sat on the edge of his guest room bed. “I see. And then?”

Jensen shrugged his entire face. “Briana walked in. Y/N got… I don’t know, spooked? Then she ran out. Last thing I remember is Gen popping in to say that Bri was going to take her home.”

Jared leaned towards Jensen and inhaled, scrunching his nose at the smell of liquor still oozing from his pores. “Then you hung out with Jim and... José, apparently.”

“I guess, yeah.”

Jared mulled everything over in his head, but couldn’t quite grasp it. “I have so many questions…” he said with a snort, but when he looked back at Jensen’s expression, his smile faded. “Are you alright?”

The question hit Jensen harder than he expected. Was he? No. Clearly not, if he proceeded to drink as much as he did after she left.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I am right now except hungover.”

“Did you try to call her? Text? Anything?”

“No. I didn’t know what to say.”

“How about, what the fuck?”

Jensen snorted a laugh. “That may not have gone over well.”

“Jay, she ran out on you for no reason--”

“I’m sure she had a reason,” Jensen interjected.

“I like Y/N, but, maybe trying to hook up with her now may not be the best idea,” Jared said carefully. He wanted to help his friend, but he also wouldn’t enable him to make stupid choices on a whim.

“It wasn’t planned, Jar. It was a New Year’s kiss. That’s all.” He was lying and he knew it. That was anything but just a New Year’s kiss. If Briana hadn’t walked in, he’s fairly certain the night would have taken a much different turn. Not that he blamed Bri, there was that pause right before she walked in where Y/N spoke his name…

‘The way she said it, Jesus Christ...’ he thought as he rolled his head back again and closed his eyes. Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and prayed for the pounding in his brain to stop. He just needed five minutes of quiet to think, but his relentless thoughts both of the pain, and how she felt pressed against him, wouldn’t be denied.

“That’s all?” Jared laughed sarcastically. “Ok, you keep telling yourself that, champ.”

“Bite me.”

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, I swear. But you’re my best friend and I’ve seen you go through a lot of bullshit because of a woman. I just don’t want to see it happen again, especially with some girl you barely know just because you’re lonely.”

“I’m not lonely,” Jensen bit back defensively, even though he was once again lying to Jared and himself. He could tell that Jared didn’t buy it anyway. “At least not like… all the time.”

“You work like a dog, travel constantly, go from one empty apartment to another. The only time you aren’t alone is when you’re working on set. That’s partly why you started this whole project, right? To not feel lonely after Dee left? But then I had other shit to do, so did Robbie and Jason…and it left you alone, all over again. Until you met Y/N.”

“So?”  he shrugged. He was starting to feel frustrated but didn’t want to take it out on Jared because his intentions were pure, even if they were annoying the shit out of him.

“So? Come on, man. Don’t be an ass. She’s gorgeous, she’s talented, she’s creative, smart and she’s just as wrapped up in the Brewfest as you are. How could you not want to take it further? Besides, be honest… how long has it been?”

“Since?”

Jared rolled his eyes and gave him the ‘give me a fucking break’, look. “You’re gonna make me say it? How long since you got laid?”

“Seriously?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, seriously. I’m sure it’s been a while. Add that to the fact that you end up at a party with a pretty girl who looks at you like you hung the moon, then you have some drinks. Maybe she flirts with you a bit, makes you feel good. Oh, let’s not forget running into your ex, and then having said pretty girl stand up for you.”

“Oh shit… I forgot about that,” Jensen groaned. “What a fucking night…”

“My point is--”

“I get your point.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Now shut up and let me die.” Jensen let his body slide down into the mattress and covered his face with the other pillow.

“I guess I’ve tortured you enough for now,” Jared said and patted his friend’s foot as he stood up from the bed. “We got food downstairs if you want. Gen and the kids are heading off to see a movie, but I’ll be down there if you want to talk, ok?”

“Mmmmm,” Jensen growled, and Jared took that to mean, ok.

When Jensen heard the door click softly, he moved the pillow off his face and sighed deeply. Exhaling the air slowly through his lips, he allowed his eyes to close again and conjure up Y/N’s image. He thought of how she looked when she threw the darts and then celebrated hitting the target. He remembered how her skin felt when his hand rested on her bare back, and the look in her (y/c) eyes right before he finally kissed her.

Despite the hangover and despair his body felt, he felt his cock twitch at the thought of kissing her again. He tried to make himself stop, but it replayed in his mind as if it were a movie on a screen. “Fuck,” he growled and forcibly pushed her from his mind as the disappointment set in that it all ended so suddenly.

Jensen threw off the covers angrily and stood up from the bed, waiting for his knees to lock and safely support his weight. On the floor to his right were the clothes he’d worn the night before. He picked them up and went to get dressed, but the second he pulled the shirt over his head, he got a lingering whiff of sandalwood and lilac… Her.

“FUCK!” he barked again and ran his hands through his hair then back down over his face.

There was so much to think about and consider; not just the things that Jared said, but the things Jensen knew to be true. Yes, he had been lonely, and yes, Dee had crushed him… but hadn’t he deserved that? He wasn’t an angel in their time together; not that he’d cheated on her or anything of the like. He had, however, been withholding sometimes; maybe treated her like she wasn’t as important to his life as she should have been. Yet, when Dee would ask him if he was happy, or if he wanted something different, he gave her the answer she wanted, not what he actually felt. When she finally left, it shattered him and he reveled in that guilt for months.

Was he doing the same thing with Y/N? Was he dragging her along in a different way? In one breath he had said that he was so focused on the festival, there wasn’t time for anything else. Yet in another, he was kissing her like she was his long lost lover who he’d just reunited with. Maybe it was better that she stopped it. But then again, if she hadn’t… maybe it could have been something great.

“You need to just fucking stop,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled his pants on and fastened the belt.

From the depths of his pocket, he could feel the vibration of his cell phone notification. Something there was waiting for him; a missed call from Y/N, perhaps? He dared not let himself linger on the tiny shred of hope he had at seeing her name there; he couldn’t hope for anything from or about her until he decided what he really wanted from Y/N. When he unlocked the screen and saw he had a text message waiting, he nervously hovered his finger over it. Finally finding the courage to press the little message icon, he exhaled shakily when her name was highlighted with a little “1” next to it.

>>Hey, any chance you’re free for coffee today? We should probably talk.

Jensen sat back on the bed and felt his stomach bottom out. He assumed this would be where she told him she couldn’t do the job anymore, or be around him, and was moving back to New Jersey. The thought of which churned his stomach more than the bourbon ever could. He didn’t want to see her yet, he couldn’t. He needed more time, he needed to be completely free of the hangover and regret that corrupted him at that moment.

He hit reply on the text and realized she had sent it more than a few hours ago. Trying to think of an excuse, he used Jared and the kids as his out.

<<Hey. I wish I could, because we probably do need to talk, but I can’t today. Promised Jar’s kids Uncle J would take them to a movie. Rain check?

He hit send, sat back on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut while waiting for her response. When none came within a few minutes, Jensen gathered the rest of his belongs and decided it was time to go home, shower, and figure out what the Hell he was doing.

Y/N sat on a stool at the island counter of her kitchen, letting her fingers toy with the string of the envelope tie. In the padded manilla package were half a dozen proposals to various schools around the city of Austin and several contracts that needed Jensen’s signature. It was the last bit of business they had conducted for the festival before winding down for the holidays. Now it sat in her hands, almost mocking her. She wanted to push it off the counter like a child having a tantrum, but she refrained. Instead, Y/N picked up the envelope and shook the papers just loose enough so they were sticking out of the opening. She pulled the top one out and looked at his signature on the bottom of the page and ran her finger over it lightly.

A myriad of thoughts raced through her mind, including Bri’s words from both the night before and that morning as she was on her way out of the door.

“Remember,” she had said, her sunglasses pulled down on her nose so she could stare Y/N in the eye, “Talk to the man. Explain why you left, even if you just do it for you. Don’t lie, don’t sugar coat it. Be real, raw and if you like the man, tell him.” She left then, but not before wrapping her arms around Y/N and squeezing her tightly and making her promise to call or text soon.

Y/N did what Bri suggested, and decided that she did want to just rip off the bandaid and talk to Jensen. She had to. Him, Austin, the job… it was completely unexpected, but now that it had been a major part of her life over the past couple months, she didn’t want to lose it. That meant allowing herself to be vulnerable and explain why she ran out the night before.

Problem was, he said he was busy. She had texted him that morning, hoping he would be quick to respond with a ‘Yes, let’s talk as soon as possible’, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, he told her he was taking Jared’s kids to the movies. It didn’t sit right with her. Y/N wanted to believe that she knew him, but that was one of the things she was unsure of… did she really know him?

“Uggghhh!” She let her forehead hit the counter and covered the back of her head with her hands. “I can’t take this shit,” she muttered.

Picking up her gaze, she remembered the notepad in the drawer and hopped off the stool to retrieve it. Before she could really think about it, she began to write. Biting down on her bottom lip, as she always did when nervous or deep in thought, her hand scribbled furiously until the stream of conscious writing blissfully came to an end.

Y/N laid down the pen, exhaled shakily, and began to read back what she wrote.

  Jay,

I really am sorry about last night. I want to explain what happened if you’ll let me. I know you were busy today, so maybe we can get together soon?

I am leaving this with the contracts at your place so you don’t have to wait until the start of business day tomorrow. I know you were anxious to get these off to the lawyer’s office ASAP. Things are really looking good to get these out with the information packets and in the mail to the various School Boards as well as the Texas Creative Arts Council. Everything’s moving forward nicely.

Hope you and the kids enjoyed the movie!

-Y/N

 “Well, it’s not poetry, but, its to the point. I guess…” she trailed off as she started to second guess herself, then shook it off and quickly shoved the note into the envelope, and finally sealed it. Grabbing her keys and purse, she left the townhouse and headed over to Jensen’s place, before she lost her nerve completely.

It wasn’t more than twenty minutes to get to Jensen’s house. She had been there a few times since moving to Austin, and luckily he had already added her to the gatehouse’s frequent visitor list. Y/N’s heart was pounding harder with every mile closer and by the time she parked her car in front of his house, it was damn near rattling in her rib cage. Once she climbed out and began walking up the path to the door, she froze. She had planned to just leave it between the screen and front doors since he was out with Jared’s kids, but when she saw his car parked in the driveway it hit her that he had lied about being free to talk.

Y/N got her feet moving again. In the mere seconds it took to reach the front door, she asked a thousand different questions…. Should she leave it and go? Should she knock and just give it to him? Should she, should she…

She wanted to scream, is what she wanted to do. She was angry and hurt, and was hoping that it was just a fluke.

He wasn’t supposed to be home! She thought. Was Bri wrong? Was I wrong? Is he just lying to avoid me?

She wanted to give him benefit of the doubt… was it good timing on her part, maybe? Did he stop here and then go in Jared’s car? Possible. She couldn’t shake the thought that he did lie and in her heart, she knew that would be the truth.

Y/N knocked on the wooden front door with one hand as she clutched the envelope to her chest with the other. She was gripping her keys so tight in her fist the metal was beginning to leave its imprint in her palm. It took less than a minute for her to hear the lock tumbler and to see the door open. Jensen stood before her, his hair soft and still a little damp from a shower, dressed in dark blue sweatpants and a white V-neck t-shirt. His feet were bare, and in one hand, he carried a bottle of water.

“How was the movie?” she asked flatly, still holding onto the envelope for dear life. It was her anchor in that moment, and she was afraid if she released the tension she held on it, she may lose it completely.

“I--we… Gen took them...” he swallowed hard and sighed. “I’m sorry. When I saw the text, I just wasn’t ready to talk.”

“That was all you had to say, Jensen! You didn’t have to make up some bullshit.” She tried to stay calm, but she could sense the hurt feelings rising fast.

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” he said. “I was hungover--”

“Just, stop. It’s fine. I just came to drop these off,” she paused, suddenly feeling the need to get away from him, and maybe Texas altogether. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna go back to Jersey for a while. This was the last few things we talked about before Christmas,” she pushed the envelope into his chest and released it, forcing him to take it or let it fall to the ground. She stepped back and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “I need to finish up some things back home and I can do whatever else needs to be done from there.”

“Wait, you’re leaving now? Why?” he asked incredulously, his brow furrowed in confusion. “You just got back.”

“To be honest, I cut that trip short to come back here for the party,” she replied, lifting her gaze to finally meet and hold his. “Since you’re not ready to talk about it, then, I think it’s just better if I go back for a while. We don’t have that meeting with the Texas Creative Arts Council until the end of January, so until then…”

Jensen frowned and slowly nodded his head, but not in any way that really agreed with her. Y/N could feel his growing frustration, in turn making her both sad and yet still defiant. It was something she had always done, and on more than one occasion it got her into trouble. There was a stubborn streak in her, that wouldn’t completely allow her to just stop a trainwreck conversation in progress. She was both the conductor and the passenger on a collision course of misunderstanding, yet still completely helpless to stop it from happening.

“Maybe that’s a good idea. I gotta leave for Vancouver anyway. Work and all.” His tongue rolled out over his top teeth and raked back into his mouth over bottom lip. Y/N had seen that gesture when he was trying to hold back his frustration, but it had never been at her before. “So, just text me if you need anything, or give Robbie a call.”

They stood there silently for less than ten seconds, but to each of them, it felt like an eternity in Hell.

If he had just said he didn’t want to talk, instead of a stupid, pointless fib about a movie…  she thought as she stood on his porch, still gripping her keys far too tight. If you had just stayed, last night… her heart countered. Her stomach fell, and she just needed to get away.

“I’ll text you anything important,” she said quietly.

“Yeah, ok,” he replied, but it came out garbled and rough. She couldn’t tell if this change in his inflection was due to disappointment, anger or both, but she hated it.

Not knowing what to do, she just stood there, waiting for him to say something more. Had she blown it all already? She could recant, say she would stay, and please could things go back to how they were? But after what happened the night before, not just her running out, but the kiss, Dear God, that fucking kiss, she thought… that kiss changed everything.

Maybe going home would be a good thing. She could go out onto the beach, watch the sunrise, and let her toes reconnect with the cold grains of sand; they were always able to ground her when she needed it. So much had happened in twenty-four hours, hell in the last week, that her head was reeling, her heart was hurting, and her feelings were a fucking mess.

“Alright then, well, I guess--uh--have a safe trip back to Vancouver, Jensen,” she said, unable to withstand the silence any longer. She turned to go, not wanting to wait for a response. He could’ve called out to her, called her back, told her to travel safe, but he didn’t. In her current state, Y/N continued to let the doubts, insecurities, and fears that had followed her around most of her life win out, as they continued to drive her away from Jensen, his house, and his city.

It cost a good size chunk of her savings, but Y/N found a flight that landed in Newark around midnight that evening. She had to move heaven and earth to get a seat on the flight that took her from Austin to North Jersey, and then at least an hour wait for a rental car. The drive itself put her pulling onto the dirt lane of her bungalow at almost three in the morning. Even as her tired, heavy eyes begged for sleep, the rest of her felt exhilarated by the smell of the salty air. It didn’t matter that she had just been here two days before, the feeling of walking up to the front door where she had spent all of her life was calming and much needed.

Y/N dropped her one carryon bag onto the couch and pulled her phone from her pocket. There had been a few notifications she ignored while driving and wanted to check them before she went down the hallway and fell onto her bed.

The first was a missed text message from Bri.

>>Well, what happened?! Did you get to talk to him?

The next was a missed call from an unknown number, but it had an area code that was local to Seaside. Ignoring that for the time being, she checked the last notification… this time it was from Jensen. She paused before hitting the little envelope on the screen, petrified of what it may say. Before New Year’s Eve, she would have been excited to open it, but now a feeling of dread washed over, making her worry that maybe he was texting to tell her to forget about the job after all, and she could just stay where she was.

>>I hope you landed and made it home okay. Can you just text me and let me know you made it safely?

Y/N went to the couch and fell onto it, using her carry on as an armrest, she put her elbow on it and rested her head against her hand. The phone was still in her other hand, and she absently scrolled through a bunch of text message exchanges she had with Jensen since first meeting him in October.

>>Hey Trix, I lost my copy of the grant proposal for the TCAC, any chance you got another laying around?

<<Only if you ask nicely.

>>Hey, I’m always nice.

<<Sure, when you want something ;)

>>.... So?

-----------

<<Dammit Jensen! I told you to wait for me. You suck. How could you go to Salty Sow without me? I thought we had something…

>>No one told you to spend three hours in the bookstore. A man needs to eat.

<<... Fine. Guess I’ll just order pizza like a college freshman...

>>Nom, Nom, baby.

<<I hate you. You owe me a Sow burger.

>>Deal.

-----------

>>Still up?

<<Nope.

>>.......

<<What? I’m half asleep. That counts.

>>Just wanted to say tonight was fun.

<<It was! I’m surprised. Never thought I’d be able to line dance.

>>You did great. We should go again when we aren’t scouting for bands. If you’re gonna be in Texas a while…

<<Only on one condition…

>>Yeah, anything

<<This summer you let me teach you how to surf.

>>Like in the ocean? With sharks?

<<Coward.

 Y/N inhaled slowly and held onto the breath as she finally looked away from the screen. She thought about the messages, and then that last interaction she had with Jensen. She dared to let herself even think about the kiss they shared on New Year’s Eve. It did nothing more than add to the confusion she carried in conjunction with his name. The whole night, including her talk with Bri, the text from Nathan, all of it left her completely unsure of what was right, wrong, up or down. She needed to clear her head, figure out what came next.

Bri’s words rang loudly in her ear, “...before you make up your mind in any way, you need to figure out what’s most important. For you.”

With that, and despite the very late, or early hour, depending on how you looked at it, Y/N closed the messaging app and went to the recent calls to find who she was looking for.

Hitting call next to their name, she waited anxiously for the phone to stop ringing, and an answer on the other end. One ring later, she could hear someone fumbling the cell and waited for the raspy greeting she was bound to get.

“Hey? Hel--hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” she said, trying to sound relatively awake for three a.m. “Sorry to wake you.”

“No, no, you’re fine. What’s up, Y/N?” he asked, surprised to hear her voice.

“I was thinking… maybe it’s time to talk.”

“Now? Over the phone? Is that a good idea?”

“Well, I had a change of plans and I’m actually back in town. Thought maybe we could go have coffee tomorrow or something?”

“Seriously?” he asked, even more, surprised at that, then at hearing her voice at all.

“Yeah. I think Harry’s is open. Say around eleven?”

“Yeah… that would be great, Y/N. I’d love that.”

“Ok, awesome. Well, back to sleep, sorry I woke you. I’ll see you later today, Nathan.”

She ended the call and settled back into the comfort of her couch. Y/N closed her tired eyes and tried not to think anymore that day. Not about Jensen. Not about Nate. Not about anything, then the sound of the ocean waves off in the distance.

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