#and another I think is just kind of realizing that people I thought I’d share stuff with…I won’t anymore because of the crap that happened
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SOOBIN: “I thought I should just try to shine as I am.”
TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview
2024.11.11
He once strived to become a lush, towering forest. But he realized that people will love him for exactly what he is—a deep, rolling ocean. And so, he decided to remain as whom he always has been: an ocean named SOOBIN.
You took a trip to Vietnam earlier this year with BEOMGYU. I heard you planned the whole thing. SOOBIN: I’m usually the kind of person who just goes around without a real plan, but since we don’t get much vacation time, I figured we’d better go all out and do everything we could in one go, so I tried planning it all out. (laughs) BEOMGYU just wanted to go with the flow, but there was a ton of stuff I wanted to do.
I’m sure it’s not easy taking a trip or spending your off time with the same people you spend all your time with. SOOBIN: I hang out a lot with the rest of the group on my own time too, though. Three of us were all hanging out together just yesterday. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t feel like anything special since we’re always together 365 days a year, but I’m also most comfortable around them for the same reason.
Sometimes people start bickering with each other when they get too comfortable with one another, but you’re always so kind—like how you gifted BEOMGYU with a nap in that “The Perfect Way to Rest” video when you remembered he was feeling tired. SOOBIN: I think I’m good at picking up on things. I don’t know if I can do it with everyone, but at least with the other members of the group, I’m pretty good at telling how they’re feeling or if they’re not feeling well. As soon as I see one of them, I can tell, Oh, he looks a little rough today, or, He’s sure in a good mood today. (laughs) If they seem down, I go over to them to find out what’s wrong and talk it over.
Your kindness also comes across when you’re with animals, like in the “OUR TOMORROW” video, where you took care of one dog who was so nervous that it didn’t get a chance to eat any treats. Have you always been drawn to people and creatures that are small and left out? SOOBIN: So, so much. In fact, I was really shy and struggled to fit in when I was a trainee. I was really lonely at first. So when time passed and I finally got accustomed to things, if I saw another trainee who was shy and couldn’t adjust, I felt like looking out for them. Kai was among them. (laughs) That’s how I ended up becoming really close with him.
You talked about the cat your sister adopted recently, explaining how it used to be shy because it had a hard life in the past but that it finally opened up this year. SOOBIN: I went to see the cat when my sister first got it, but I couldn’t even see it that first time—it just hid under the couch. It was so shy that I thought I’d never get to pet it, but the last time I saw it, it came right up to me and started purring, wanting to be petted. It was able to overcome its painful past and open up to my family thanks to all the love they show looking after it. Love really does have the power to change anything. (laughs)
You also said on weverse LIVE recently that you made a new friend who you can talk about dramas, movies, and books with. SOOBIN: For me, dramas and movies don’t end with watching them—after you’re done watching, that’s when things are just getting started. I always look up reviews and analyses online. People can watch the same thing and they’ll all have their own thoughts on it, so I’m curious about all those different views, and now I have someone to talk about that with. They know a lot more about books and movies than I do, so I end up learning a lot when we’re sharing our thoughts together. Just having a friend to share my interests with is really fun.
You mentioned talking about Inside Out 2, and you looked at how it features a place to store things you’ve heard that you want to keep for a long time, which got you thinking about what sort of things you would want to hold onto. SOOBIN: I kept recalling things my friends say after we hang out—things like, “SOOBIN, I’m so happy we’re friends,” and, “I feel great whenever I’m with you.” Hearing things like that really touches my heart. Seriously, how often do you get to hear things like that in life? I used to find expressing things like that awkward and weird, but thanks to my friends, I’m getting used to saying I love and appreciate people. You empathized with how Anxiety works harder and feels more anxious than others because they want to be good at things. Are there things you feel you should work harder at than other people? SOOBIN: I’m actually slower at learning choreography compared to the other members. I assumed I’d get a lot better after debuting and regularly performing onstage, but progress was slower than I expected. I didn’t say anything about this before, and I even kept it a secret from the other members, but I actually got separate choreo lessons on the side when we were doing “Chasing That Feeling” and “Deja Vu.” We’d take lessons as a group, and then once I was alone I’d always spend about an hour dancing and working on the little details. I tried so hard with those two most recent songs that I even practiced on my own like that. Seeing as I’m slow, I have to work harder to keep up with the other members. If I have more time, I want to practice more for this comeback, too.
With all the touring you’ve done and the encore performances you have coming up, it must’ve been really hectic getting ready for your Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback. SOOBIN: The schedule was really tight this time around—we even had to record vocals in Japan in the middle of the tour since we were in and out of the country—but now that we’re in our sixth year, the five of us were all really fast about things. I could sense that we had grown compared to before since we were faster at recording than we could’ve expected to be in the past and it took us less time to work out the details of the choreography.
The album’s subtitle, SANCTUARY, is a word that’s appeared in TOMORROW X TOGETHER albums before. What’s been your sanctuary these days? SOOBIN: I never used to have a sanctuary, which made getting through tough times hard, but I do now: simple things like working out or reading. It feels like the things that break me away from overthinking and let me immerse myself in something else are my sanctuary.
You were complimented on your previous promotions for your improved vocals and high notes. What about on this album? SOOBIN: Actually, every other album we’ve done had a song in a genre I wasn’t confident in, but not this time. The single “Over The Moon” is really laid-back, and I felt like it was perfect timing for us to try out a song like that. What’s unfortunate is that I caught this horrendous cold during recording. We started practicing for live performances recently, and the director said, “SOOBIN’s singing better than he did when recording. He makes it sound effortless.” So I couldn’t help but think about how much better I could’ve done if only my throat had been in better shape.
You always focus a lot on lyrics. Were there any on this album that have stuck with you in particular? SOOBIN: This album isn’t so much about telling some big, sweeping story as it is about everything we’ve been through together. Now that we’ve been through all that chaos, it’s about the universal emotion of love, which everyone can relate to, and I liked that about it. There’s a line in “Higher Than Heaven” that sticks with me that goes, “I think I kinda get what forever means now.” I even once said, “I never used to believe in the word ‘forever,’ but I think I can now, thanks to our fans.” I didn’t write that part, but it’s like it was written to perfectly capture my feelings.
The other members have probably had an impact on your belief in the word “forever,” too. SOOBIN: I’m pretty sure we’re going to grow old together and that we’ll be together till the day I die. We do the same thing and basically live the same life day in and day out, so we know what makes each other cry the most during concerts, too. Whether it’s my tears of happiness or BEOMGYU’s tears of disappointment from a leg injury, having friends to understand and share those feelings with is nice. They’re all just really kind people—calm and clear, like a stream. None of us is domineering or splashing around, disturbing the peace, and nobody’s dirtying the water, so I think we’ll be able to stick together for a long, long time.
You said before that you had found being onstage tough while touring. Now that you’ve already wrapped up your third world tour, do you still find that to be the case? SOOBIN: I think I’m getting better over time. I still can’t say that I completely enjoy myself, but the worries I used to have before going onstage have gone away entirely. There used to be times where I found it hard to watch myself onstage because I didn’t like how I looked, but now I see myself up there and I think I look cool. (laughs)
The way you have a different outfit on for every sound check when you’re on tour is definitely cool. SOOBIN: For fans who come even though they’re busy, showing up hours before the concert just to wait, doing it purely out of love, I wanted to be more stylish, so I bought a lot of clothes just for sound checks. The glasses-plus-cardigan combo was something I bought in advance for summer, and the reaction from the audience was amazing! They showed me on the big screen and MOA was screaming their lungs out—like, not the usual “wow,” but, “aah!” Like shock and awe. (laughs) I was worried I went overboard with the look, but they showed they liked it, so I was happy.
There’s no way not to bring up your cover of the Choi Yu Ree song “Forest” when talking about you. You said that the people around you are like tall trees in a forest and that you thought you’re one of them, but that you figured out you’re actually more like the ocean. SOOBIN: It’s easy to find people around me who are better looking and sing and dance better than I do. I actually started thinking about that at Lollapalooza. The other members looked so happy and like they were having so much fun onstage, but I couldn’t. I felt eaten up inside seeing myself not being able to fully enjoy it because of all the pressure. Then I heard Choi Yu Ree explaining that “Forest” is about feeling like you’re not good enough and I thought, “Ah, so that’s what I’ve been going through.” I started to understand my emotions a little bit better. Everyone ends up comparing themselves to others at some point in their lives—it’s unavoidable. And they have times where all they can see are the things they hate about themselves, but it’s ridiculous. I was overflowing with negative feelings when I was working on my “Forest” cover, and I wanted to sort of deal with those feelings and express them.
The music video echoes your thoughts that someday you’ll come to shore and become one with the forest. What does the forest mean to you? SOOBIN: Just being a singer who’s good at singing and dancing, interacting with my fans, enjoying performing, and being able to do it all with complete sincerity. I think I was showing how the forest to me means being happy with the other members when they’re happy. Nothing big—just simple things I’m not always that good at.
Do you feel more like a forest now that some time has gone by? SOOBIN: Umm … I saw a ton of comments from fans after I covered “Forest.” My mindset when I was doing it was, Right now I’m like the ocean, but I’ll become a part of the forest just like you guys—so wait for me until then. But once I saw what fans were writing, I changed my mind and thought, Do I really need to become a part of the forest? I could be similar to the forest, but I don’t have to change myself to be one. My fans kept saying, “The whole reason we liked you in the first place is because you’re like the ocean, not because we hoped you’d become like a forest. If that were the case, we’d like somebody else. Why do you think it was you?” The ocean comes with its own perks, you know. You need to have some ocean near a forest to add to the scenery and have more things to do. Now I think maybe I tried too hard to fit in by trying to be like the forest. Now I feel like I can shine bright just by being myself.
That lines up with what you recently said in an interview you did in Japan when you said that your 20s, the best and most energetic time of life, are dazzling and fun thanks to knowing MOA. What do you think you’ll see when you look back on this youthful period of your 20s? SOOBIN: Joy. Every moment of our lives is packed with good times and bad times, joy and sorrow, but in the end, I think, I’m on a path towards joy. Even things that are so agonizing that you want to die—so bad you feel like the whole world is against you, and so bad you’re certain they’re weighing on you forever, eventually pass.
Doesn’t it almost feel funny sometimes, looking back after all that? (laughs) SOOBIN: Yes. It ends up feeling so trivial somehow. Things that felt massive at the time are like a speck in the distance once you get even a little space between them and yourself. Even after all the hardship I went through being a trainee, I can look back now and see there were a lot of good times. Maybe we tend to romanticize the past a bit? (laughs) Even some of the stuff I’m going through now can be tough, to be honest, but I’m never going to give up. There’s still so much I want to give. The amount of joy I derive from doing this is way higher than the amount of difficulty. I think my life’s amazing, even right now.
So amazing. (laughs) SOOBIN: I think so too! (laughs) As time goes on and I get older, when I look back on my youth, my time with TOMORROW X TOGETHER, I wonder if it’ll look that much more shiny and amazing. Maybe I’ll feel I was even cooler at this time than I feel I am now.
#txt#tomorrow x together#241111#weverse#soobin#choi soobin#weverse magazine#the star chapter#sanctuary
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My brain: time for emotions
Me, knowing why but also just wanting to go to sleep: oh, okay
#part of it is I think cause my sister had just a really rough night and was emotional#and another I think is just kind of realizing that people I thought I’d share stuff with…I won’t anymore because of the crap that happened#two or so years ago…guess it’s that thing where you grow around your grief but sometimes it still hits you know?#anyways I should get to bed to give my body the sleep it needs to hopefully feel better but emotions be out here tonight#I could go into more details but I gotta wait…#on another note I really wish the chosen wasn’t releasing three episodes at once#like bro I could barely handle two in theatres last time…😂#prayers appreciated I guess just….life and still missing people even though I know it wasn’t healthy for me to stay#(this isn’t church hurt related I’m still working through that though too 😅)#aceo rambles
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Second Chances
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Emmett x reader
Summary | Emmett takes advantage of your kindness and hospitality.
Warnings | Smut, 18+, non con, emotional manipulation, praise, guilt tripping, very large age gap, painful sex, first time, breeding, crying, bro has hella trauma fr.
Words | 2.5 k
Notes | Direct result of my Emmett brain rot (Also two fics in one day??🫣)
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
“Here you go.” You smiled, handing the steaming mug to him.
“Thanks.” His voice was quiet as he took it from you and held it in his lap.
“What’s your name?” You asked, sitting down next to him, hoping you weren’t intruding too much. He paused for a moment, seemingly debating if he actually wanted to make conversation with you and give you “personal” information about himself.
“Emmett.” He finally said.
You gave him your name and watched as his eyes dragged down your body, taking in every inch of you. With a blush, you cleared your throat and looked away for a moment to gather your thoughts. “Are you sure you don’t need anything else? Are you warm enough?” He looked over you again with a neutral expression that made you squirm a little.
“Actually I’m still a little cold. Is there anywhere I could go that’s inside?”
“Oh- yes! Of course.” You said quickly as you got to your feet. “My parents will be out of the house for another couple of hours so you can use some extra blankets and maybe lay down on the couch for a while.” You smiled. He didn’t return the expression as he stood up and followed you for a couple minutes until you finally walked up a porch to the front door.
“Okay, let me just grab another blanket and then I’ll start the fire place as well.” You ran off to retrieve a blanket and when you came back, he was sitting on the couch looking around the room.
He gave you a small “thank you” after you handed him the blanket and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked forward, then kneeled down in front of the fireplace. “You live here with your parents?” He suddenly asked, almost startling you.
“Yeah. Since there’s three of us, we got our own place. A lot of other people had to share.” He hummed in acknowledgment and you finished up with starting the fire before turning around to face him, finding his eyes already on you. “Can I get you anything else?”
“This is more than enough.” He said softly.
“Okay… Well, I’ll let you rest. If you’re hungry I can try to make something?” You offered with a kind smile.
“Actually I’d rather talk with you.”
“Oh-” You said, eyes widening in surprise— He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would want to make small talk with a stranger. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone like this.” You hesitantly got up and sat down next to him on the couch.
“Like what?” You asked curiously.
“So loud… and about things other than survival.” His voice was still quiet, but this time there was a bit of a solemn undertone to it.
“Oh.” You bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, but not really knowing how to approach this. “You never… had anyone to talk to about normal stuff? Surely it wasn’t all survival.” You can’t even imagine what he must have experienced. When he suddenly looked away and clenched his jaw, you realized that you might’ve over stepped. “I’m sorry, that was— I shouldn't have pried…”
“It’s fine. I had a family, but they’re gone now.” He still wasn’t looking at you. Taking one last sip from the mug, he leaned forward, then placed it on the coffee table.
“God, I- I’m so sorry.” You said quietly.
“It’s silly, but… I miss being able to hug them— to hug people.” He finally looked at you again, this time with a sad smile. “I remember the last time I felt someone’s touch… 11 weeks ago.” That must have been when his family died…
“Would you like a hug?” You offered nervously, hoping you weren’t too bold again. He studied you for another moment before nodding.
“That would be really nice.” Once you had his approval, you moved closer and wrapped your arms around him, letting him do the same even though his wet clothes were starting to dampen yours. He let out a quiet breath and relaxed into the embrace. “Thank you… I’ve been so lonely.” He whispered, making you frown.
���You won’t have to be anymore. The people here are very kind, you’ll make plenty of friends.”
“I can tell.” His voice was a little amused now and he pulled back just enough to look at you. “If it’s not too much trouble… could I hug you a little more?”
“Of course.” You said instantly, then let out a startled sound when he lifted you onto his lap so you were straddling his thighs. You thought he meant more as in for a longer period of time, not.. this…
“Thank you.” He said again, pulling you closer and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You were stiff for a few seconds, still trying to process this new development, but finally you relaxed into him and hugged him a little tighter. “I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like.” He whispered against your neck.
“To hug?” You wondered, trying to understand.
“Yes. But also the gentle touch of a woman.” A blush took over your face and you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You know, my wife… I was with her when she passed.” He said quietly. You were already dreading where this was going, not sure you could handle learning about any more of the pain he’s suffered since the start of everything. “I had a really hard time understanding and accepting this… but she said she wanted me to move on. To be happy again.” One of his arms stayed wrapped around your upper body, but the other moved a little lower, pulling you closer so your hips were also flush with his.
“Emmett…” You said quietly, trying to pull away, but he just tightened his grip and you finally felt the bulge pressed up against your heat. You tried not to gasp at the realization.
“Shh… It’s okay. I just— You look so much like her…” You had no idea what to say. You’ve never been in a position like this before. “I’m sorry.” He suddenly pulled away and you stared down at him in confusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this. Not after everything I’ve done— everything I didn’t do.” Your lips parted, but no words could come out for a moment.
“You deserve feeling safe and cared for. Everything you had to do was for the sake of staying alive.” At least you assumed it was. Honestly you have no idea what he’s done. “And it’s not your fault— what happened to your family. You did everything you could.” You said softly and he started shaking his head. “Yes. You can’t blame yourself, Emmett. Maybe that’s why your wife said that to you before she passed… because she knew how much you’d struggle with it.”
“You remind me of her so much.” He said through a choked sob, making you freeze. You had no idea he’d get so emotional. Not knowing what else to do, you just pulled him back into the hug and held him tightly. “That’s exactly the kind of response she would’ve given.” He croaked. In response, you just hugged him even tighter.
“It’s okay…” You whispered. “I’m so sorry, Emmett. No one deserves to go through what you have.”
“It hurts.” He cried, making your heart ache for him.
“Tell me what you need. How can I help?” You said quickly, not wanting to see him like this any longer.
“Can I— can I kiss you?”
“What?!” You choked out, making him pull back to look at you. The tear tracks on his cheeks were far less than what you thought they’d be, but maybe they just wiped off on your dress.
“Please. I miss her so much and… god you look exactly like her.” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek.
“I…” You’ve never kissed anyone before. Are you really about to give it away to a stranger you just met less than an hour ago? “Emmett…”
“I know I don’t deserve it— I know. But I just… it hurts so bad, I can’t take it.” He all but whimpered, making your hesitant expression melt into something softer and more sympathetic.
“…I’ve never kissed anyone before.” You admitted quietly and you swore his eyes darkened, but it was too hard to really tell.
“I know I’m asking far too much of you— I know I don’t deserve your kindness,”
“Stop saying things like that.” You frowned. “You deserve kindness, you deserve to feel loved, just like everyone else.” He stared at you for a moment, his eyes still glossy with tears, then he was suddenly leaning forward and capturing your lips in a kiss. You let out a muffled sound of surprise and brought your hands to his chest, trying to push him away. In response, he snaked his hand around your head to grasp your hair, holding you still as he moaned quietly.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled against your lips. You let out another startled sound when he suddenly threw you off of him so you were laying on your back on the couch. Before you could move away, he was crawling over you, kissing you again as his hands roamed your body.
“Emmett-” You tried to say as you continued pushing his chest, but he was too strong. “Stop!”
“I know.” He panted before snaking his hand down your stomach all the way to the apex of your thighs. He slipped under your dress easily and roughly cupped your sex, making you whimper.
“Emmett, please stop.”
“I will. I will— I just need this. I haven’t been with a woman in so long…” He whispered. “I promise I’ll be fast.”
“Please don’t,” You whimpered, already feeling tears brimming in your eyes.
“I know. I’m sorry.” His hand suddenly left your body to open his pants and free his cock, then he was pulling your panties to the side and lining up.
“Please! I- I’m a..” You sobbed, trying anything to get this to stop.
“I’ll be gentle.” He promised, then faltered and added, “At least… I’ll try to be.” When you felt the head of his cock drag through your folds, your body went completely rigid.
“Please! Emmett, please don’t,” You cried, still trying to push him away.
“Shh…” The blunt head of his cock was against your entrance now, pushing as hard as possible, trying to fit inside you. When he finally breached your opening, his hand slapped over your mouth, muffling your shrill scream. “Oh— fuck… I'm not gonna last.” He moaned loudly, letting his head drop down for a moment. The tears in your eyes were finally falling and you sobbed almost violently behind his hand. Your crying only got worse though when he continued pushing in.
“Almost there.” He whispered and you let out an anguished sob in response. It felt like you were being ripped open as he continued pushing deeper, a lot farther than what you could comfortably take. “Good girl… Just a little more.” Your body was trembling from the pain and you started clawing at him, trying anything to get this to stop. But he was undeterred. When he finally bottomed out, he let out a low groan that was overshadowed by your cry of pain.
“I know… I’m sorry. Fuck, you feel so good. Just like how she felt.” He whispered. “I think she’d be happy that it’s you.” He gave you a small smile, then slowly pulled out until only the tip was inside before forcing it back in.
“Please!” You cried, the word coming out muffled from behind his hand.
“God- your cunt is so good.” He groaned, picking up the pace, making you cry harder.
“Stop! Please…” You whimpered brokenly.
“I know, baby. I’m almost done, I promise.” He said breathily. You tried kicking your legs, thrashing under him, pushing him away, but he was too strong. “Just a little longer, you’re doing so good.” He removed his hand, but before you could scream, he was kissing you again. This time, he shoved his tongue passed your parted lips, licking into your mouth in a desperate, almost feral manner. That, along with the fact that you couldn’t focus on this kiss because of how hard you were crying, made it incredibly messy and sloppy and wet.
He snapped his hips into you, chasing his orgasm as he kissed you like he’d never be able to kiss anyone ever again, making it feel like you could barely breathe. Mostly because of the kiss, but also because of how overwhelming the pain of the stretch was. He continued kissing you and his facial hair felt scratchy against face, only furthering your discomfort.
“I’m close.” He whispered against your lips. At least it was almost over. “I haven’t filled up a cunt in over a year.” He practically growled, making you stiffen again.
“N-no… Emmett, please don’t. Please pull out.” You begged desperately, trying to speak coherently through all of the crying.
“I thought you said I deserve this? That I deserve to finally be happy after everything.” He frowned, making you falter.
“I didn’t mean… this.” You choked out, not sure what else to say.
“I know…” He said quietly, letting his eyes flutter shut. “I’ll try to pull out.”
“Emmett, please. You have to,” He leaned down and cut you off with another kiss as his thrusts became even rougher.
“You’re such a good girl…” He murmured against your lips, breathing heavily as he neared his release. “So good. I’m gonna make you mine. I’ll take care of you, just like I took care of her. But we’ll be safe this time...” You shook your head, unable to do anything else. “No monsters, no illness— It’s gonna be perfect. We’ll even have some boys, yeah?”
“No,” You sobbed, quickly feeling defeated. You couldn’t stop this no matter how hard you tried. “Please, Emmett… I just turned 18, I- I can’t…” He moaned quietly when you said that.
“Shh. Yes you can. I’ll help you, baby, we’ll do it together.” You shook your head in disagreement as you continued to cry. “Fuck,” He choked out, eyes closing again. “Ready?”
“No— no, Emmett… please. Please pull out!” You yelled, making him curse under his breath. With one final groan, he forced his cock all the way in, pushing up against your cervix uncomfortably.
“Oh, good girl.” He moaned, lazily rutting into you as he rode out his high. “So fucking good. So tight… milking every fucking drop.” He said proudly, making you cry harder at the verbal reminder that he just came inside you.
“Emmett…” You whimpered, feeling his cock twitch inside you.
“Thank you.” He said through a breath. “Thank you so much.” He almost sounded like he was about to cry in relief and that made you falter. This man has been alone for weeks, just haunted by the memories of his family with no real outlet or source of comfort. So when someone finally offered him some… he jumped at the chance immediately. You probably would’ve done the same, had you lost your entire family.
“And I meant what I said. I’m going to keep you safe this time, I promise.” He said quietly, reaching down to feel where his cock was bulging your stomach— where a baby would be growing soon enough. “All of you.”
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hayy!! so tonight i went to a small little show that my friend was doing with his band, and me and the bassist made crazy eye contact while he sang the lyrics “good, i’m proud of you” to me. (i’m dead) ANYWAYY it made me think, this is kinda out there but maybe a james potter band au?? like he’s a drummer or bassist and you keep making crazy eye contact and the tension is THICK.. (maybe even some groupie activity later??) IDKK i’d love to see youre interpretation 😋 or even just to chat about it!!! i love you’re work sm
That sounds so fun babe! Thanks for sharing omg <3
cw: bar
rockstar!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
As much as you like Marlene, you’d sort of thought her band was going to be shitty. And in your defense, most of the ones who play this venue, where the crowd is typically too drunk to care what sound fills the space and it only costs a few quid to get in, are pretty amateurish. They’ll play their one or two original songs, then fill the rest of their time with covers, trying all the while to figure out how to work the stage and engage the crowd.
These guys definitely don’t seem like amateurs.
Marlene had said they were just starting out, but you don’t believe it. She, as you expected, is incredible. She embodies this fierce, uncaring kind of cool, fingers sliding up and down the neck of her electric guitar with skill you didn’t know she had. The guys in the band aren’t half bad either. The singer has a voice that seems always on the edge of a scream, and he and Marlene play off each other’s energy, him occasionally leaning the mic her way to belt something together. The bassist seems a bit aloof, long fingers moving with an almost lazy dexterity, which seems to be driving the people clustered at the edge of the stage even madder than they might be if he paid them any attention. And the drummer…
Perhaps you’re partial to the drummer because he doesn’t seem like he’s trying to be cool at all. There’s something completely uninhibited about him that lights something in your chest and sends a buzz of excitement through the room, like you’re all feeding off his energy. He looks like he’s having the time of his life. Sweat shines brilliantly on his dusky skin and drips off the ends of curly brown hair that’s just long enough to flop into his eyes. Someone threw him a headband earlier in the show seemingly to help prevent this, so now he’s got it pushed back, curls protruding his head and bouncing as he bobs enthusiastically to the beat. A smile splits his face as he launches into a brief solo, and coincidentally your stomach erupts in butterflies at precisely the same time.
You’re thinking of trying to jostle your way up to the barricade when the drummer’s eyes take another skim of the crowd, and this time they catch on you. Your heart stutters. A tall figure moves in front of you, obscuring your view of the stage, and when they pass the drummer’s still looking at you. And holy shit. This is eye contact. You’re not totally sure how well he can see you what with the lighting in here, but it feels like his eyes are looking right into yours and saying Hello, nice to meet you.
A few seconds more and he has to tear his attention away as they go back into the chorus, but your eyes keep finding each other’s. It feels more intimate than it probably should, with several meters of distance between you and the crowded, raucous atmosphere, but you can’t help the giddy lightness that accumulates in your chest over the course of the set.
During what the singer says will be their last song, his gaze flicks to you with something different in it. It’s not something you can place, but in the next second it’s gone, and all his attention is on his drum solo. You cheer with the rest of the audience as drumsticks fly, almost too quick to see, over the drums and cymbals, and you’re so caught up it takes you a second too long to realize one of them actually is flying.
Your hands flinch up in front of you just in time, protecting your face and fumbling the drumstick nearly to the ground before you catch it. You look back towards the drummer, and his eyes have flared with alarm.
“Sorry,” he shouts over the screeching of guitars, earning a glare from the singer a second before all sound cuts out.
Marlene takes the mic, announcing that they’re done performing for the night but will be available to receive free drinks until closing. The band starts to pack up and leave the stage.
The crowd splits in two, one half migrating towards the bar and the other towards the exits. You’re not quite sure where to go. You want to meet up with Marlene, maybe give her the drumstick to pass along to her bandmate and thank her for inviting you before you head home, but you’re not bold enough to venture backstage. You cast a glance toward the bar, twirling the wooden stick absentmindedly between your fingers. Maybe you can find a seat to wait for her?
“You’re not bad at that.”
You turn, and the drummer from the band is standing behind you.
“Oh.” You glance down at the drumstick in your hand, feeling a bit silly as you hold it out. “Thanks. Here you go.”
“Thank you.” His eyes are even better close up. He’s put on glasses, magnifying the warm brown of his irises and the thick, dark lashes that nearly brush his lenses when he blinks. “You looked like you’d be a better catcher.”
You laugh. “Not sure what would make you think that.”
“Well, you did manage it in the end.” He smiles. It’s charming with a touch of roguishness, and you get the impression he’s someone accustomed to being forgiven. “Sorry for almost hitting you in the face.”
You shrug, suddenly unsure what you usually do with your hands. “It happens,” you say. “I don’t take it personally when musicians lose their instruments in my direction.”
“Oh, well I wasn’t trying to lob it at your head, but tossing it your way wasn’t an accident.”
Something funny happens in your gut. “It wasn’t?”
His grin spreads and he shakes his head. “I figured it was my best shot at getting a chance to meet you.”
Your face heats. You hope you’re not smiling as big as it feels like you are. “You could’ve just asked Marlene,” you say. “No need to throw things.”
He laughs, a warm and hearty sound. “I’ll have to refine my methods,” he replies. “I’m James.”
You tell him your name in turn, and he gets this look on his face like it’s the best thing he’s heard all night.
“Do you wanna join us at the bar for free drinks?” he asks, taking out the headband and ruffling his hair so his curls bounce onto his forehead. It’s more than a little distracting. “I’m sure Marls would love for you to stay.”
“I…” You glance towards the bar. “I’m pretty sure the free drinks are just for people in the band, no?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” He waves you off, taking your hand and leading you towards the bar. “You won’t be paying regardless. Just tell me what you like.”
#rockstar!james potter#rockstar!james potter x reader#james potter au#marauders au#marauders rockstar au#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#the marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#marauders era#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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Thoughts about BY 5 and 6
So I finished the episode at an unhealthy morning hour, and now after getting my full sleep, I can fully share my thoughts!
And of course, spoilers for the newest episode!
First things first, I want to talk about Burning Spice himself. A while back, I made a post about my hopes for him and how I didn’t want him to be a temperamental meathead, but instead a smart and calculating person who took from his extensive knowledge of history to psychologically destroy as much as physically. Did we get that?
Kinda, kinda not. Spice isn’t another Purple Yam like I’d hoped, he has more character than being just angry, but the hotheadedness does remain most of the way through. He reminds me of a strongman anime villain, the kind whose braun speaks more than brain, but still capable of strategy. Most of that strategy comes from Nutmeg Tiger though, as Spice is mostly interested in fighting Cheese from beginning to end. There’s no moment where he messes with her mind directly and picks apart her vulnerabilities beyond surface level “you hold things dear to you that I will destroy”. Which, implication is that he was more focused on just fighting, which in the context of how/why he is the way he is, kinda makes sense.
And about that, I’ll address it briefly: So we learn that Spice’s corruption, at least the straw that broke the camel’s back, was that he got bored watching history unfold. I think it’s very cool! While I was interested in a little more nuance behind his boredom, sometimes villains don’t need a complex reason for why they do what they do. It does make Spice less sympathetic than Mystic Flour though, so it seems like not all Beasts may be equal in cause and backstory. However, stuff about him may be explored later, since he’s going to be back.
So I would say that Spice isn’t as one note as I’d hoped, but he is a simple villain. A simple and very very fun and scary villain, but there could’ve been a lot more to his character in this story that made it lacking for me. I know BY chapters are usually short, but there could’ve possibly been more time showing the parallels between him and Cheese beyond a dialogue or so. It would’ve been really cool if Spice addressed those directly, using it against Cheese. Making her rethink/relive the trauma of losing everyone and mentally destroying her… like what if there was an exchange in the prison cell when she was at her lowest? What if Smoked Cheese had either been incapacitated and unable to speak, or in a separate cell so Cheese could be entirely at the Beast’s mercy? (We DID get a bit of that when Cheese realized how apathetic he was and what he saw in her soul jam, but that was more of a disgusted shock than a mental breakdown.) Smoked could help her out of her turmoil later (an exchange between him and Spice could’ve also been awesome), but Spice leaving mental damage on Cheese would’ve further spread the idea that he also values breaking things internally.
But, I guess Spice is just destroy destroy destroy to the point where he doesn’t really care about anything else, which is… fine. Admittedly not my cup of tea because it’s so basic, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy his motivation. I hope we get a little more nuance next time we see him.
Anyway love these sprites!! I wished we got more related to the first two, it shows a mellower and/or ironically colder side of him that I think would’ve really helped amplify his fear factor. Spice is all fun and destruction but the oh shit comes from him showing more of the calculated side he used to have.
But speaking of Golden Cheese, I’ll talk about her next.
Overall I really liked her story here! I love seeing her in action and on her own, and her interactions with Smoked Cheese were fun to see! Smoked Cheese was extra fun, I loved how he had sass while still caring for people beyond his kingdom’s entourage (his voice and mannerisms remind me of tfp knockout it’s crazy). I was also happy to learn how the soul cheese worked, since that was a question I had from last episode. It appears Smoked isn’t in his body, but his soul is projecting a physical form given mass that relies on Golden Cheese’s power. Very interesting, and I wonder if he’s just going to stay out now, or if he’ll return? And what of the others too…
Now, something I will say about Cheese is that while her character arc made sense for her in a bubble, I feel a similar thing like I did with Spice that it could’ve been much better. Personally, while Cheese staying true to her greediness and immense care for her treasures is a good thing to power her up, I don’t think it made her as bigger a person than Spice than she could’ve. What would’ve been cooler and more thematic for her character would’ve actually been accepting that destruction and the loss of things she cares about is a natural part of life.
What I mean by this is that while Spice embodies destruction, Cheese essentially embodies creation, which are two polar opposites that have their place in the universe. Antagonizing one or the other should come with a deeper approach to the message, and frankly, antagonizing destruction in its entirety is a very black and white angle. Destruction can be inherently bad and tragic, yes, but it can also pave the way for new life and new things to be created. Plantlife grows back after a forest fire. You can build something better upon the ruins of what was before. For Cheese, her kingdom could’ve been lost/destroyed, but she could’ve accepted it and strove for a newer and better kingdom. Which, in some parts she did, but my philosophy also applies to people lost too.
Death and destruction was a prominent theme in Cheese’s backstory, and much of her Golden City arc was confronting that. I suppose this is a separate talk for another time, but to put it simply, she didn’t have an arc about accepting those who were lost, moreso about striving to bring those who were lost back. The story ended with her promising to bring her friends back, instead of accepting that she lost them and focusing her strength on protecting those she still has with her. That last part could’ve actually been what the Spice story led to, with her first wanting to find a way to bring everyone back, but deciding by the end of it that she can protect the memory of her kingdom along with the living friends she still has. Smoked Cheese could’ve even helped her with that, showing that he cares for her over himself, leading to a heartfelt goodbye between the two. This is just a wishful image, but it would’ve been a really good way for CRK to tackle a deep theme and touch a lot of people’s feelings. But what we got was a lot simpler, with both Spice and Cheese’s characters and themes, which I guess makes sense. Some stories (or the game itself) don’t really want to be anything super deep in narrative, and that’s fine as long as they’re still fun, which this was.
Lastly I will say, I fear the awakening thing will get a little predictable and repetitive from here on out. Beast is a threat for the first chapter, continues to be a threat up until Ancient does a power of love and friendship introspection and transforms into a stronger version of themself. I hope one of them will be a little subversive in this—I don’t know how, I just hope these great stories aren’t bogged down by predictability!
But anyway, those are my thoughts about BY 5 and 6. Overall a great story, I’m so happy to get Spice and Cheese action because they’re two of my favorites, Smoked Cheese was fun, and I’m looking forward to the new Shmilk stuff we will be getting around the anniversary. After that I really hope Eternal Sugar is next, I have a bunch of thoughts/hopes for them too!!
Anyway thanks for reading!
#crk#cjj sayeth#beast yeast#crk spoilers#beast yeast spoilers#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie
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💕
At summer training camp in her second year, Yachi Hitoka notices a small, heart-shaped Pride pin on Akaashi Keiji’s sports bag.
She spends the first two days of camp agonizing if she should say something. Is it appropriate? Would Akaashi be weirded out? How does one casually initiate a conversation with a fellow gay?
So far Yachi has only told two people: a cousin, and her former crush/mentor, the incomparable Kiyoko Shimizu. She’s chatted with people online, but always anonymously.
The thought of coming out to someone new is terrifying.
But Akaashi, and really the entire Fukurodani Volleyball Club, have always been approachable. Yachi recalls running into Akaashi and his ace, Bokuto Koutarou at Nationals. They were so kind, easing her worries and doubts during an intense match. Despite being just as tall and intense as the other athletes Yachi regularly met, she never felt intimidated by the pair.
And so, she now finds herself peering nervously around the corner of the Ubugawa gymnasium to where Akaashi, now captain of Fukurodani, stands. He’s staring down at his phone, his bag casually slung over one shoulder. The rainbow pin gleams under the midday sun.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, Yachi approaches. As she does, she sees that Akaashi is smiling. It’s subtle, just a slight twitch at the sides of his mouth, but it’s noticeable. She wonders vaguely what he’s looking at on his phone.
She chides herself for being nosey.
Akaashi hears her shuffling and looks up. “Ah, Yacchan.” He politely tucks the phone away. “Good evening.”
“Hello, um, hi, Akaashi-san!” Yachi stammers. “H-how are you?” She winces at her own awkwardness.
“Doing well, thank you.” He nods politely. “And you? Are you staying cool? Hydrated?”
“I’m okay!” Yachi bows back. “But yeah, it’s so hot out today!”
“You’re not a summer person, then?”
“Not at all!” She groans. “I feel like I’m melting!”
Akaashi chuckles. “You sound like Bokuto. He abhors the heat, especially when it’s humid as well.”
Yachi grins. “How is Bokuto-san doing? He’s at Central Sports University, right?” She assumes Bokuto keeps in touch with his old teammates.
Akaashi hums. “Moving from home was a big change, but he’s happy. His new team is a good fit.”
“I’m glad.” Yachi reaches down to fiddle with the hem of her t-shirt, unsure. She feels like she’s about to dive off a cliff, not knowing if there will be a net to catch her. Her anxious gaze shifts, and now the pin is in direct line of sight, as if taunting her. How can she bring it up?
“Yacchan?”
Yachi flinches, realizing she had been staring at the pin for a few beats too long. When she meets Akaashi’s gaze, he looks uncertain. Oh no! Does he think she has a problem with it? “Sorry!” She cries, arms waving frantically. “I didn’t know what to say, because… um, I saw it and I just…”
“This?” Akaashi’s fingers wander across the bag’s canvas and to the pin’s enamel surface. He taps it with one of his perfectly filed nails, lifting an eyebrow curiously.
Yachi swallows down her fear. “Yeah! It’s nice! Um, I’d like to find one for my book bag!”
Akaashi looks mildly surprised, but his face softens quickly. “I see.”
“Haha, yeah…”
“So.” Akaashi clears his throat. “You’re…”
“Yeah!” Yachi says again hands tighten into fists excitedly. “I’m gay!” Her ears burn in embarrassment as her companion bites his bottom lip, trying not to laugh at her outburst.
“Well, thank you for sharing that with me, Yacchan.”
Yachi releases a shaky breath, grinning back nervously. For a while they are silent. Cicadas buzz above, gym shoes squeak on hardwood nearby. She wonders if Akaashi is feeling the same sort of content relief at finding another queer person to confide in.
“When did you know?”
“Huh?” It takes a moment for her to discern Akaashi’s question. “Oh! Um, well. Back in first year, I had a crush on someone, but at first I didn’t know it was a crush!” She recounts the clarity she experienced, when she finally understood her feelings. It was like everything suddenly shifted into focus.
It had been hard, accepting that Kiyoko couldn’t return her feelings. But she is forever grateful for the older girl—for her influence, kindness, her support when she came out.
“How are you doing now?” Akaashi asks kindly, causing Yachi to relax further.
“Well, I’m glad I know who I am! But now I basically fall in love with every pretty, nice girl I meet!” She sighs. “It’s tiring!”
Akaashi chuckles. “I suppose I can’t relate exactly. I’ve only ever had feelings for one person.”
Yachi leans in curiously, waiting for her companion to continue on his own. She doesn’t want to pry.
“I always found guys attractive,” he says finally. “But when I came out in middle school, my parents told me to keep it to myself. They said I’d ‘grow out of it,’ so it wasn’t worth acting on.”
Yachi frowns. “I’m so sorry, Akaashi-san! I, um, think my mom will be supportive when I tell her. I’ve heard her talk positively about the marriage equality movement…”
Akaashi’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. “I’m glad to hear. But remember, even if she doesn’t, you will find people who support and love you. I found that at Fukurodani. In fact,” he reaches into his pocket. “Let’s exchange numbers. If you ever want to talk, contact me. Bokuto, too. Anytime.”
A surge of affection hits Yachi. It’s overwhelming, how it wells up inside her, through her heart and into her throat. Not since Kiyoko had she felt so seen by another person. “Thank you,” she croaks, blinking furiously. (She is not crying. She’s not!) “Wait,” she says, realizing what Akaashi had said. “Bokuto… I mean, is he also…”
Shyly, Akaashi nods. “I’m sure he’d be okay with me telling you. Bokuto is bisexual. And, well…” His voice lowers slightly. “He and I… we’re together.”
Yachi feels like she might fall over at the news. Akaashi and Bokuto, two of her favorite people in the entire world, are dating? Incredible!
“That’s wonderful!” She cries, hands pulling into fists in excitement. He chuckles, sharp cheekbones going pink.
“Thank you. I… have to agree...”
From then on, Yachi and Akaashi grow closer. They spend time together at training camps, keeping in touch in between. They end up at the same university and often meet up to study together.
Yachi confides in Akaashi and Bokuto, who give her advice before she comes out to her mom. They encourage her to ask out a girl in one of her classes, celebrating when she gets her first date.
Over the years, Yachi meets many other queer people who become incredibly important to her. But she never loses touch with Akaashi. The connection they made that one summer day in high school remains a defining moment in her life.
She’ll forever be grateful.
//
Thanks for reading! I wanted to expand this for A03 but as usual these days, I lost the motivation. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Please REBLOG and/or REPLY if you did. 🥰❤️ Thanks for your continued support!
#yachi hitoka#akaashi keiji#bokuaka#haikyuu!!#my writing#fanfic#drabble#ficlet#bkak#akaboku#hq fanfic#haikyuu
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Silly questions ahoy. Sorry not sorry.
Who fell first, Deirdre or Gale?
Who fell harder?
Were there any things outside of the main romance plot beats that they had to overcome?
Do they have a Big Waterdhavian Wedding?
Well here is a real time pic of them realizing simultaneously that they were already neck deep in a romance without having clocked it up until that very moment
So much more rambling under the cut!
Deirdre and Gale started off as respectful colleagues. He had his little ‘o wow a warlock huh’ and she had her little ‘yeah what of it wizard boy?’ Both incredibly polite about it of course. They gravitated to one another immediately because they are both well read and spoken and kinda looked at the rest of their companions like
So in actuality they buddied up and then got teased relentlessly for being like an old married couple when neither one of them was even in the realm of romantic attraction. Gale because…. Bomb In Chest. And Deirdre having an internal incredibly well hidden behind bardic shenanigans PTSD nightmare from the horrors she witnessed during her imprisonment in Menzoberranzan.
It was only when they started sharing their magic; the weave scene, and the pic above with Dede sharing some fey vibes, that they started to shift from platonic to romantic. I would say Gale fell a little harder and faster because he just seems like that kind of person to me? Like he knows all the reasons he shouldn’t and that kinda unconsciously eggs him on even more. I’d say the crisis with Mystra’s order thru Elminster pushed them both into taking the step of actually admitting feelings tho. Dede couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. Especially to himself.
As for the last two questions… yeah. Gale’s big grand gestures got them into a bit of hot water during and post game. His constant need to prove himself worried Deirdre a lot about his self worth beyond what he could do for her. She had to go through a lot of talks with him to let him know he was enough. Just him. As he was. No magic or pageantry even tho she loves that about him too.
And of course, Dede has a TON of intimacy issues. A lot was done to her without her consent thru her life. Tadpole being the most recent offense. So she doesn’t really like surprises and has a hard time letting people in. Which is funny considering how bright and bombastic her personality is. She uses it mainly to cover the hurt. Not to say she isn’t well adjusted. She spent many many years with her patron working thru the stuff the lolthsworn drow did to her. Tadpole just kinda inflamed the wound again.
So yeah! I think it was actually several years before he even proposed. And several more after that until they got married. But the wedding was HUGE. Her family is gigantic and they have a wide social circle with the folk of Waterdeep, and Baldur’s Gate, and the Druid Grove which they still frequently visited. Gale went above and beyond constructing a castle out of flowers just for the occasion (dedes Patron helped).
Thank u so much for the ask Harding! I love my gnome gal (and i luv urs too)
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I just needed to come here and vent for a moment. As a writer, I put a lot of time and thought into curating my ideas and outlining fics before I even begin writing. So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a tumblr notification that someone had tagged me in a post titled “[My Fic Title] Part 2.”
Naturally, I was a bit shocked. After scrolling through it, I realized that this user had written a second part to one of my fanfics, and they tagged me to credit me for the original story.
While I won’t name the specific fic or the user (they did remove it per my request), I feel the need to address this publicly with a quick PSA.
My characters, storylines, cliffhangers, and everything in between are my intellectual property. Yes, the characters are inspired by real idols, and yes, some of my plots exist within established TV/film/book universes. But the ideas, twists, and execution are mine, and I’m the one who will decide how they unfold. (For clarity, the fic in question isn’t set in another media universe, but I wanted include this line since it is relevant for a couple of my other works).
I appreciate that this person enjoyed my fic enough to be inspired to write something themselves, but to be completely honest, I don’t think what they did was okay. I have some serious issues with this, and I want to share them to hopefully prevent this from happening to me—or anyone else—again.
First off, I find it incredibly rude that they didn’t reach out to ask my permission beforehand. Had they done so, I would’ve immediately told them not to go forward with it. Instead, I found out through a tag after the fic had already been posted, which felt like a slap in the face. To make matters worse, because of time zone differences, the post was live for hours while I was asleep, gaining traction.
I know that in the fanfic community, it’s somewhat common to write alternate endings or continuations for larger works from big-name authors or shows, but that’s not what’s happening here. I’m a hobby kpop fanfic writer. Writing a fanfic of my fanfic just feels out of line.
To be blunt, it felt like they were piggybacking off the success of my story, trying to steal some of the excitement I’d built for an upcoming second part. It also seemed like an attempt to siphon engagement, followers, and interactions from my readers—people who were already invested in the original work.
What bothers me even more is that I’ve publicly mentioned I’m already working on a second part. It left me with a bad taste, like this person was trying to rush out their version before I could post mine. That kind of move creates confusion for readers and, from where I stand, feels calculated and disrespectful.
So let me make this crystal clear: No one has my consent to rewrite my work, create additional parts to my fics whether they’re complete, on hiatus, or in-progress, whether or not i have mentioned that i'm writing another part, or to publish alternate endings, etc.
Thank you for understanding. - Raven
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mariii, i’d love it if you wrote something with post-outbreak joel, if possible, in jackson, where you two go on patrol, you have a thing between you, like — you act like an already married couple but you aren’t actually married, and in that little patrol, you two go together and can’t keep your hands to yourselves? 👀
like, you’re riding your horse and he can’t keep his eyes off you and your hips, he finds you alluring and sexy in everything that you do.
Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
A/N: I love this so much 🥺
• when Joel got to Jackson with Ellie, he didn't fit it right away with people, it wasn't surprising at all, not only because of his private nature and the social skills he seemed to lack, but also because it was kind of difficult to adapt to normality after two decades of living through hell
• so it was expected he would struggle at that matter for a while, but when he didn't approach anyone through the months that followed his arrival, it was clear he wasn't one to socialize and that was fine, Jackson people had more to worry about other than finding Joel Miller friends
• and yet, for some reason, he just let you in; in the beginning he was distant, it could seem he was being cold or rude, but that wasn't really the truth, deep down, under all the layers of hurt and trauma, Joel Miller was still a southern gentleman at heart and he would never treat a pretty lady as roughly as that
• but the moment you were both assigned to patrol together, eventually you both got to know each other a bit better by chatting, sharing some bits of personal information here and there and overall hanging out
• turns out Joel was a lot nicer than you had previously thought, he was including a little sweet - to you at least, and to be honest, that was all that mattered because you couldn't give a shit about how he would treat other women
• in reality, you were already jealous of the possibility of Joel liking another woman, and showing her the same kind of warmth and affection, but you wouldn't admit it anyway
• so it was natural your friendship went beyond your patrol shifts, as you very often spent time with each other around town, whether taking a shift together at some other job or spending your free time together as well
• and it didn't take very long for you to hang out at each other's place; Joel didn't mind fixing things up for you here and there, and you also didn't mind cooking him and Ellie dinner, making some real meals so they'd eat something else other than sandwiches and of course, spoil them a little by baking cookies, bread or anything you could find really
• you didn't mind washing his clothes just as he didn't mind helping you fold his and yours as well, you didn't mind dusting his furniture just as he didn't mind sweeping the floor
• and you both didn't mind keeping each other's gardens neat, fruitful and beautiful
• whenever you were out on patrol or just looking for supplies, you would always find small gifts and treats for each other, or for Ellie, which melted his old broken heart even if he didn't admit it
• it came to the point both you and Joel simply couldn't imagine your lives in Jackson without each other; it was just so natural, so good and comforting to have each other's backs and Joel came to the realization his old broken heart wasn't that broken anymore, not since he met you, because it hit off differently, and he liked it
• and as he'd always been attracted to you, ever since he realized that maybe he didn't think you were *just* pretty, and he wasn't sure that all that affection he felt was *just* w regular friendship, he started yearning for you
• at the same time he was afraid of ruining your relationship because honestly, what could assure him you liked him the same way? maybe you were doing all that just because you were nice or he was a little insecure
• so he kept his feelings for you, at the same time he barely could hide it, always caressing you, looking for excuses to touch you and be close to you
• and you both behaved like a couple, which was adorable to be honest
• and when you were out on patrol, Joel couldn't keep his eyes off you: your body, your back, your hips, your hair, everything about it was so beautiful to him
• while you two were on resting during a break, Joel offered you a bottle of water, sitting next to you and telling how pretty you were that day, which made you blush, because even if he was always gentle and sweet, he'd never talked to you like that
• you thanked him and replied by saying he was handsome and you two were a little flushed but the conversation went on until he finally took courage and stole a kiss from you
• and you kissed him back
• and that was just the beginning of the beautiful romance you shared with Joel, after only a few months dating, he decided to propose even if marriages weren't really a thing in the apocalypse, it was a thing for you, because you were his wife and he would love you and cherish until the end
____
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal headcanon#pedro pascal headcanons#joel miller#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#joel miller headcanon#joel miller headcanons
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hi! no idea if you take asks like this but thought i'd try. i'm writing a transfem character in a fanfic (in canon they are a cis guy, i just headcanon her as trans), specifically about effects of estrogen. i'm doing a lot of research but i was wondering if there's anything specific you think would be important to know? ty in advance if you do answer! <3
oooh what a fun ask!
having recently taken a stab at writing some fanfic myself, i think the things that would be the most helpful are the things that are more anecdotal because i’d imagine those would be the things that would help get inside her head.
first, there’s a lot of stuff about some of the physical changes out there like softer skin, thinner body hair (but not necessarily less) boob growth, fat redistribution, changes to color perception, eyes and lips appearing bigger because of skin changes and fat redistribution etc. but also really important to writing a trans character is the pacing of the those changes.
the changes are slow. much much slower than most people want. there’s a specific frustration in the slowness because while some changes happen quickly, other take years. and also frustration in comparison. some people see changes within weeks or even days. some people don’t see anything for months or years.
in my own personal experience, everything happened FAST. within a few DAYS i had the beginnings of breast buds. within a few weeks skin had visibly softened and changed texture, especially on my face. but other things took more time. i didn’t really have real boobs until 2.5-3 years in, even though i saw other people with the same timeframe or shorter have much more breast development. the patience required can be excruciating but also the joy is overwhelming and it’s a constant cycle.
and another thing i don’t see talked about too much bc it’s hard to qualify and sometimes hard for some people to notice are the way i process emotions and the way i think about things. now HUGE caveat, some people will use this as a way to justify bio-essentialism and transmedicalism and so it’s very important to note that this is MY experience and uniquely interacts with my own journey.
when i started hrt, within a few hours of taking the first dose, i felt different. not physically, but almost as if there was a peace in my soul because my mind became less cloudy and i could differentiate my emotions more clearly. and i used to think this is because t-blockers means no t and no t means less angry but trans mascs would tell me that their experience with t is the same and not the opposite. i’ve now realized that kind of thinking was actually invalidating to trans mascs on t. and ive realized that its actually because testosterone didn’t feel right in my body and removing it from the equation helped me understand myself better. i had always experienced emotions in this way and my discomfort with my body had stopped me from understanding the complexity and nuance with how i was feeling.
and it took me YEARS to understand what had happened. and it happened alongside of being in therapy and a lot of personal growth. hrt was the catalyst but it was the effort i put into growth that made the difference.
if you have any more questions, i’d love to share more cause i think it would be fantastic if more people who were not trans fem would be able to write trans fem characters with substance, nuance, and complexity! it’s difficult but important and thank you for attempting to do so and approaching this with respect!
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i do a lot of maladaptive daydreaming so i feel like a lot of the things i want to send are too elaborate to subject you to also idk how to write a prompt but i've been thinking thoughts about dodge mason...
and competing against him in bronc riding events. you've just moved to the area and you're good. impressively, frustratingly good. he's heard the old heads murmur about you: 18 years old, feisty little thing, giving some of these seasoned professionals a real run for their money.
dodge doesn't feel intimidated by you—so what if you've won a few local competitions? he's the best in the county. the state, even. he's humble about it, of course, but he's starting to run out of room on his trophy shelves.
obviously, he's curious though. anyone would be. so he drives to a competition out of town. he’s casual about it, dressed in a black tshirt and jeans, lingers in the back of the crowd, hands in his pockets. he doesn’t know who to look for—no one ever mentioned your name or any physical characteristics (the latter is a bit shocking, really. you must be really damn good for the rodeo chauvinists to speak only on your skill).
he figures it out the second he sees you on a horse. there’s something enchanting about the way you ride: graceful and confident, your pigtail braids flying through the air as the horse tries to buck you off of its back, a pearly grin on your face. you brush yourself off when you jump to the ground. you walk back around the gate and he finds himself making quite the effort not to stare while you shuck off your vest and remove your mouthguard. he’s not doing a great job, though. you finally catch him staring, his gaze way more intense than he probably intended. you cock your head and offer him an awkward smile and a small wave.
he swallows when he realizes you’re approaching him. he was hoping you might’ve been walking toward the people behind him or making your way to the bleachers, but your eyes are locked with his as you stride toward him, kicking up dust with your bedazzled cowboy boots. he scans his eyes over your body—with the intention of sizing up the competition. Not to check you out.
if he were checking you out though, the way your jeans hug your figure would make him sweat. you unbutton your shirt as you walk, the front panels falling away to reveal a dainty little tank top. your chest gleams with sweat and a shiny charm necklace bounces between your breasts. your cheeks, kissed by the sun, burn brighter with the exertion of the ride. you have to tilt your head back to keep eye contact with him. his mouth feels dry.
“you’re dodge mason. you hold the county record,” you hold out a tiny hand and smile, warmer this time. he takes your hand and nods, wracking his brain for a better response. he’d always been a bit frugal with words, especially around strangers. he was a thinker. conversational skills were never a priority of his.
however, there wasn’t much thought behind the “uh, yeah,” he finally offers. he scrunches his nose a bit at his own response. you wait a beat to make room for another sentence. he nods again and manages to add, “state too.” you pull your hand away. the third smile you give him is harder to read.
rodeo is full of needle-dicked assholes. drunk on machismo, their egos enter the room before they do. you’ve met your fair share; they huff and puff and grumble obscenities when you beat them. you think dodge seems like one of them. you purse your lips and nod to yourself.
“well, i just came over here to tell you that i’m coming for your records. i thought i’d be kind and warn you so you can prepare yourself to lose. most men don’t take too kindly to it,” you don’t give him any time to respond before you turn on your heel and walk away. he shoves his hands in his pockets and watches you go. he looks down at the ground where you stood and smiles to himself. huh.
OOOOUUUGHGHGHHHH DODGE MASON IN MY INBOX <3 Also I'm a maladaptive daydreamer as well <3 twins <3
And he watches you at the next rodeo— not just during your event, but always. The way you offer smiles like it's nothing, how your clothes always sparkle in the Texas sun— bedazzled across the pockets of your jeans, sparkly rhinestoned cowboy boots, across your tits on your tanktop. It's like you know people are going to look at you, so you might as well give them something fun to see.
He must look like a fucking creep to everyone else— lingering and leering. You crouch down to talk to a little girl who was watching your event, smiling brightly, all sweet and friendly. The little girl hands you a horse plushie, which you try to refuse, but ultimately walk away with. You're nice to everyone you meet... until you spot Dodge.
"Are you stalking me?" The plush is still tucked safely in your arms as you look up at him, and he finds himself uncomfortably nervous to try his hand at conversation.
Dodge blanches, a bit. "No, I'm not st—" He swallows hard, tries to deflect. He had been spending his day following you around, kind of. "You nearly beat the county record."
His county record. You nod, mouth twisted to the side as you look at him. "Mhmm." You glance past him. "Did you need something?"
"Uh... no. Just wanted to tell you I was impressed."
It's meant to be a compliment, an olive branch to soothe... whatever it was that he had fucked up during that first conversation. Instead, your brows knit, and you scoff. "Oh, well, thank you, Dodge Mason. What would a girl like me do without your approval?"
You've heard all about Dodge. Well, rumors mostly. He didn't play well with others— unless they were buckle bunnies lingering around after his events. He wasn't there to make friends, or whatever. Which is fine. You didn't need to be friends with an egotistical, narcissistic dickhead, and you certainly weren't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him fuck you.
Even if he was incredibly talented, and attractive, and his cologne smelled really nice after being surrounded by horses and mud and sweat all afternoon.
"I think a girl like you would be just fine," he says, and you want to scowl at the flutter of something in the pit of your stomach. "Congratulations on the win."
He's competing in the next Rodeo you're at. You watch his event, eyes wide, almost mesmerized by his skill. He's not just good, he's effortless out there. He spots you, tips his hat, and you swear you feel the angry glares of five pretty girls all vying for his affection.
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💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft or 💛reunion kiss. Dealer’s choice.
bet you thought i forgot, but i didn’t! i just struggle not to make an entire story out of a tiny prompt
prompt from this ask game: 💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft
i suppose reunion in a way too, but primarily 💗
context: harvest festival, don’t ask me why it’s taken this long to get them to kiss (ok fine, it’s bc katniss is dumb and peeta’s stubbornly forcing her to make the first move), they’re sharing a private moment in the newly rebuilt bakery backyard bc katniss was getting ✨overwhelmed✨ in the crowd
note: this version is very abridged from what i wanted to do. might mess around and publish a full length oneshot if enough people are interested🫡
Peeta stands and offers me a hand, bowing down slightly in mock formality. “May I have this dance?”
I laugh lightly, pretending to consider his proposal. “Only if you promise to forgive me if I step on your toes,” I say.
“Deal.” He smiles widely as I take his hand and he tugs me up into his arms.
My breath catches as his hand slides down the curve of my waist, the other holding my own hand delicately aloft as he pulls me in close.
It’s not a difficult dance, just a simple box step, but I can’t for the life of me seem to go more than a few spins without messing it up somehow. My steps are mistimed, used to compensating for a shorter partner, and I’ve always been the one to lead, so everything is backwards now. It’s funny — he’s the one missing a limb and still somehow exudes infinitely more grace and confidence while dancing than I ever could. Whatever finesse he lacks in the forest seems to have all been channeled into this, whereas mine all but disappears without Prim as a partner.
“Sorry!” I cringe as Peeta winces from yet another mistimed step on my end.
He just brushes it off and offers me a small smile. “It’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not,” I insist. I drop our hands, instead slinging both of my arms around his neck, pulling myself ever closer. His hand that had been in mine mirrors his other, finding its home on my waist in a way that sends a shiver down my spine. “There,” I say softly. We go back to our dance, gently swaying to the music rather than attempting actual dance steps, and for the first time, Peeta’s good foot is finally spared.
“Well,” he says, letting out a huffed laugh, “that’s one way to take away room for error — taking away any space at all.”
Normally it’s the kind of comment that would have me pushing him away, laughing off the sudden closeness, writing it off as unserious and unintentional. And I don’t know why, but instead I respond, “Didn’t think you’d mind.”
Peeta’s eyebrows flick upward in surprise. “I don’t,” he assures me, any hint of humor quickly draining from his voice. “I wasn’t sure if you did.”
We’re pressed against each other, chest to chest, so close that I can feel his thundering heartbeat. Or more likely it’s mine. Maybe it’s both.
“And what if I don’t?” I ask, staring up at him.
“You tell me,” he says. His eyes are sparkling pools of starlight in the moonbathed garden.
I open my mouth to say something, but immediately realize I have nothing left to say. He’s called my bluff. He knows as well as I do what I want, he’s just waiting to see what I do — if I flee and play it off like I always do, or if I actually let myself act on the feelings that have been eating away at me for months. Years, if I’m being completely honest with myself.
In the town square, only yards away, I can hear the slow song nearing its end, no doubt soon to be replaced by a fast-paced tune. I don’t have much time, so before I can think too much about it, I cup Peeta’s face in my hands and pull him in for a long, slow kiss.
I’d kissed Peeta probably thousands of times before, but never like this. Never unprompted, and so rarely initiated by me. But that’s the point, isn’t it? Here we are, a short distance from the crowd, yet none of this is for them — it’s for us, only us.
His lips are soft and gentle against mine as his hand snakes up my spine to knot in my hair at the nape of my neck, and I instinctively melt into his touch. I’d missed this. Oh, how I’d missed this. Craved it. I feel that familiar warmth only he can elicit in me beaming out from my chest and through my entire body as we kiss. I was a fool, I think, a damned fool for trying to convince myself I was content with his friendship and nothing more.
The hunger I felt on the beach returns too. It’s wild and ravenous for more, but I refrain, instead pulling away slightly and resting my brow against his, gazing at him softly. There would be another time to address that feeling, but this moment is different. It’s my irrevocable requital of the feelings he’d once proclaimed to an entire nation, the ones he’d fought so hard to recover, the ones I’d been so terrified to reciprocate. I wasn’t going to ruin things by pushing us somewhere we’re not yet comfortable, not while things are so new, when we’ve only just started to grow back together.
This would’ve happened anyways. In a way, it had always been Peeta. And I think it always will be.
#thanks for the ask!#i love them sm#autumn themed drabble!#the hunger games#everlark#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#everlark fanfiction
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Hi, um. I'm so sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but- you're- incredibly hot?? I, uh- really like your. Well, belly size, and- I think it looks- so hot and wonderful- and I'm. Very normal about it
HEHE THANK YOUUUU comments like these make outgrowing hundreds of dollars worth of cosplay clothes less than a year after buying them worth it <3
Me being vulnerable talking abt weight and eating disorder and drug addiction stuff under the cut
I was uhhhh misusing prescription adderall for almost a year and I lost about 60 pounds before I quit. I was having dizzy spells constantly and would faint on a semi regular basis and I’d go days on end eating only just enough to keep the hunger pains away cuz it was just that aggressive of an appetite suppressant.
I quit cold turkey about a year ago after realizing that “it’d save me money if I took another pill instead of buying lunch today!” Isn’t a thought that a healthy person has. I’ve gained back all that weight plus another fifteen pounds and I had to get a whole new set of clothes that actually fit me which you guys have helped fund and it means the whole world to me to have that kind of support <3 especially while I make art of people who look like me!
Also I get an erotic thrill looking at these progress pics of me over the last year in the same outfit. so I will share them as well. God bless my fellow fat bitches.
And before you ask yes you’re allowed to sexualize my recovery. It’s how I’m getting through it
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I completely agree with you in that there are many bad faith interpretations of tommy and buck and tommy’s relationship. I don’t know if this one I’m about to share would necessarily be a bad faith interpretation but I’d like your take on it. In the scene where buck comes out to eddie, eddie says to buck “this changes nothing between us” and buck responds with something along the lines of “uh good, that’s a relief”. I’ve seen a lot of people interpret buck’s facial expressions as not showing just relief but relief mixed disappointment because a part of buck wanted things to change between them, in the romantic sense, he just doesn’t realize it. I do agree that buck’s expression as he says the words is interesting but I don’t personally think it has anything to do with him harbouring romantic feelings for eddie. for me it felt like one of those moments where you dread the reaction for so long, that when you finally face the thing and open up, even if the other person’s reaction is positive, it takes a minute for you to really internalise it and let yourself believe it.
Another moment that people often talk about from this scene is reaction to buck saying he can’t stop thinking about tommy. People often say eddie’s facial expression shows some sort of disappointment but again, I don’t know if that’s it? again, it is an interesting expression so I get why people would pause and focus for a minute but to me, it reads as eddie searching for a moment to give his honest advice to buck in the scenario.
Anyway, I’d love your thoughts on those particular moments and how you see them. Again, I’m not saying that the interpretations people are making of that scene in relation to buddie are necessarily in bad faith. I know it’s fun to analyze and interpret scenes in ways that you enjoy and I’d never want people to stop doing that. I just feel like Oliver and Tim have been very clear in that they do not want to tell a story where a guy comes out and is in love with his best friend and if buck was truly disappointed in hearing eddie say nothing’s going to change between them post buck’s coming out, that would be a quite bold contradiction.
Hi anon!
I'm not sure if you actually meant to send this to me because I'm kind of the exact opposite of a person who engages in the practice of reverse-engineering actors' faces to find deep secret meanings that doesn't actually exist in the script. I think it's a slippery slop of a fan practice where if you go "haha he looks jealous here" and want to make it gay in your fantasy world and are capable of compartmentalizing that from the actual text, it's great! If you look at it like it's subtext that is meant to one day come to surface, as some sort of proof that this is not the actual story, you're either too deep in your world that you treat these characters like they have agencies and thoughts and feelings and are not, yknow, fictional - or that actors are making the conscious choice to layer their performances with breadcrumbs for a plot that doesn't exist at the time.
I've seen all these arguments with almost every scene this season. Eddie's face when Tommy enters the bachelor party. Buck's face when Bobby says Tommy is good for him. Bobby's face when he says Tommy is good for Buck. Eddie's smile when they enter the hospital room. Most of these are insignificant and the others have in-text explanation (Yeah, Bobby smiles weirdly in that scene. Guess what, he's kind of planning to kill himself). And like I said, if people want to read these in a pro-Buddie sense and go do fandom stuff with it, that's great. But we all know this fandom is taken over by the question of "will Buck and Eddie happen?" so everyone who's not even doing this in bad faith (I don't think all do) are looking at it in "does this support canon romantic Buddie?" lenses. So much of shipping Buddie is about speculating for the next episode, next season, next whatever that I think it's so easy to find yourself on that slippery slop where you fit every shot, face, editing choice to your interpretation. There's also the sunk cost fallacy at play here - once you do it for so long, it's hard to give up on the belief that it'll happen.
I think both Oliver and Ryan great actors - and that scene is one of my favorites in the season - but no, I don't think there's more to their faces than what they're given to play. Which is as all of them mentioned a billion times, a scene of a guy nervously coming out as queer to his best friend and receiving support. If I'm wrong and the rest of this fandom is right and the production/writers/showrunners are actually fully married to the idea of canon romantic Buddie but The Powers That Be are keeping gay Eddie in the closet as if he's a real person and they're the evil step-mother, and come S10 Buck realizes he's been in love with his bff all along, then yeah in-text, that would recontextualize all their performances. It still wouldn't change what the writers' intention has been with the text as it exists today or be proof that Oliver and Ryan are making acting choices for a hypothetical future SL.
#couldn't fit this in my answer but it's kind of bewildering to me how much of shipping in this fandom is about whether they'll become canon#i mean look at ao3 one of every three fics is a spec fic or a coda#ive been in many fandoms like fandoms with infamous queerbaiting and i dont remember the fandom practice being so solely dedicated to#whether the ship will become canon#instead of like this is kinda gay in the text well i will make it REALLY GAY in my fanfiction and having fun#also 'you' used as universal you here nonnie i agree with you#mimi talks#anti buddie#bucktommy#911#mimi.txt
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bro weird stuff has been happening to me lately. so I’ve known I was ace for a year now and that’s still going strong but also I never like. thought about romance like other girls did and never thought about a wedding. I never want a boyfriend and the idea of getting married scares me. and I wanted kids but I thought babies were ugly, and never thought about who their dad would be or anything. but like over the last year I
Really love babies and little kids, and now am miraculously really good with kids. I changed my major to education and finally found my calling (elementary librarian)
when I watched the pilot of fallout and I saw her wedding dress (I love that style soooo much) something clicked in my head and suddenly I started making little plans for my future wedding
it’s still hard for me to imagine a specific person as my husband but I realized I want that best friend for life thing. (my brother and his wife were kind of the turning point on this one because they just have so much fun and love each other so much. I realized it’s a different love than what I’d ever wanted before and now I really want that for myself?!?)
I still don’t really want to date anyone but I am feeling more open because the idea of finding someone who I love is just so exciting to me nowadays.
this is just all weird for me because my lack of interest in these things were a big part in what convinced me to look into asexuality and aromanticism and It’s so weird to lose that aspect of it but still feel no sexual attraction. I’m still me, but I’m growing into another version of myself and it’s so strange but wonderful and scary. idk growing older is weird when big opinions and feelings shift from what they’ve always been.
Thank you for sharing this, @jack1701.
I cannot give you a definite answer as your experiences and feelings are unique and only you can label yourself or choose not to label yourself at all. You don't have to fit into a specific box and I am not in a position to assign you a certain label, but I'd like to mention a few things that you might want to take into closer consideration if you so desire (The following points are just my opinion and may not be accurate!):
QPRs: Queerplatonic relationships are relationships that go "beyond" traditional notions of friendship, but don’t necessarily fit into the category of a typical romantic relationship. They can be a way to have that deep, lifelong partnership you’re envisioning without the pressure to conform to conventional romantic or sexual expectations. QPRs are quite common for partnering aspec people to be in. There is no set definition for a QPR and its boundaries—you and your queerplatonic partner (QPP) decide individually what you want to do or not do (e.g. hug, cuddle, kiss, live together, raise a child, pay taxes, idk??) and what you want to call each other (e.g. partner, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, idiot, shnookums??, whatever...), etc.
Cupioromantic: This label falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, but still desires a romantic relationship (regardless of whether they are in one, aspire to be in one, or not).
Aegoromantic: This label also falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who enjoys the idea of romance or romantic fantasies but doesn’t desire a romantic relationship for themselves. You may think of it as a disconnection between oneself and one's romantic fantasies. It's explained quite well here, I think.
Other arospec identities such as demiromantic (only experiencing romantic attraction after a deep emotional connection has been developed) or greyromantic/grayromantic (experiencing romantic attraction rarely or only under specific circumstances).
But you don't have to label yourself just now or ever, and no label is permanent. Just keep being yourself and do what feels good for you.
All the best!
#I'm SO sorry for taking so long to reply#I feel terrible for making you wait#I've been trying really hard to get myself to write this response but the executive dysfunction was working HARDER#asks and replies#other
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Cat and Mouse~
Abby Anderson x F!Reader
Summary: You were a well known womanizer in the WLF but that’s not gonna stop you from trying to get with the one woman you wanted the most, Abby Anderson. And god was she making it difficult~
As always my content is 18+ SO MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
(You’re a desperate slut with the hots for Abby, a persistent fucker at that. No smut in this one just lewd themes. Light cursing, lots of alluding to “the chase” of her. Lets say you’re definitely not a quitter 🥴🥴)
New! Dark! Abby Anderson x F!Reader
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Oh come on Abs~, my reputation isn’t even that bad.” You say leaning back against the wall.
Abby looks up at you from her seat, “Yeah? That’s not what I heard around the stadium. You’ve basically slept with about half the women in here alone.”
“Me?” You place a hand on your chest, “Now babe I’m offended, c’mon those are Manny numbers not me.”
“You make Manny’s reputation look like light work.” Abby chuckles, shaking her head as she goes back to reading her book.
You scratch your neck, “Damn I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or be insulted.”
Abby scoffs, “However you feel is the best but I’d say the latter.”
You push yourself off the wall and walk over to her, sitting down next to her your leg brushes hers, resting against one another. You expect her to but she doesn’t move, which didn’t go unnoticed by you.
“Yeah yeah whatever but you can’t deny that I’m not experienced.” You smirk.
“Unbelievable….”
“So, ya gonna let me show you how someone should actually take care of you.” You wiggle your eyebrows slightly, taking in your bottom lip.
She looks over at you and grins, “Only in your dreams buttercup.” She then closes her book and stands up, your eyes following her movements.
“Dreams are better than nothing.” You lean back placing your arms behind your head.
Abby shakes her head and dismisses you with her hand as she walks out of the empty library leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Damn does she know how to fuck with you, you almost think it’s intentional at this point. She knows how much you want her, fuck you’ve wanted her ever since you laid your eyes on her. Her tall build yet the delicate grace about her had you entranced at first glance.
You should’ve known that she wouldn’t make it easy for you. At this point just about every single one of the wolves knew you had the hots for her, you didn’t really make it discreet. Manny would constantly make fun of you for it too but you’d get him back by making fun of him for not being able to please the women he was with better than you. They’ve told you so, what could you say you know your way around a woman. You just wish that woman was Abby.
People would talk, their favorite was calling you pathetic and slightly insane. Going after one of WLF’s best soldiers was a long shot but you didn’t care, you needed her, soon enough she’ll come around to realize how much you’re worth it. Yeah, you may be a player now but for her you’d definitely drop it all in a heartbeat. She was strong and powerful but also kind and sweet in her own element. It made her, her. And that’s what you loved about her so much, she’s such a balance of what you respect and cherish. Plus, she’s very good on the eyes.
Sometimes you’d think she was fucking with you on purpose, that deep down she wanted you just as much as you wanted her. It was a feeling, plus there’d be times where she’d willingly play right back into your antics, fueling it even. You weren’t dumb, you’ve seen the way her eyes would follow you after you walked into the cafeteria to grab your food, watch how they raked over your body as you did your sets in the shared gym.
When you two would be on the same patrol, compliments would be shared for you, which was a rare thing from her to you. Her eyes would gloss over when you would hit that perfect shot on a clicker, a quick nice shot falling from her lips. There was even a time where you caught her checking out your ass, now that took a bit of convincing to yourself but you know what you saw. You couldn’t help the grin either when you watched her blush filled stuttering mess after catching her in the act. She would never admit to it of course, just changing the subject and talking about where to head to next.
She was undeniably perfect in every way and you needed, no craved that perfection. You knew it, she knew it, hell all the fucking wolves knew it too. You were desperate, for good reason, and you didn’t care. It was a game of cat and mouse and you loved a good chase~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
AHHHH DESPERATE READER ALERT!! You down bad fuckers~ (me too tho 😮💨😮💨)
I probably maybe might be making this into a very short mini series, depends on how much you beauties like it. BUT I hope you all enjoyed and as always constructive criticism is welcome. If you haven’t yet check out my other drabble here. Thank you all for taking the time out of your life to read my work, it’s always appreciated!! And let me know what you guys think, hehe~ BAIIII
=^.^= ~
#I kinda love player yet desperate reader#it adds flare#abby anderson x female reader#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson drabble#abby anderson x y/n#abby anderson fan fiction#tlou abby#abby anderson the last of us#abby anderson#abby anderson x you#abby anderson ff#abby tlou#the last of us 2#my abble
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