#praeseist propaganda

[cpa-karrakin]

We at the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance would like to inquire unto this Omninet as to what in the fuck that yellow eyed creature which did stare at me through mine bed chamber window earlier was. I do live upon the fifth story of a tower upon this estate. This dignified Lady is quivering in fear. Until such a time as our query hath been answered, she shall hitherto keepeth her curtains shut.

Lady Kythera Lenore

[cpa-karrakin]

Verily, the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance would like to warn the fair denizens of this Omninet not to click this link!

House Lenore hath suffered a great many cyber attacks upon this day! Our electronic defenses art formidable indeed, but lesser Houses and, Passions forbid, ignobles who do click the dreaded link shall surely findeth their systems swiftly overwhelmed!

Be not like m- whoever among our staff did cause this! We beseech!

Lady Kythera Lenore

CHIVALROUS AND SINGLE KNIGHTS IN YOUR FIEF WANT TO PLEDGE THEIR FEALTY TO YOU‼️ CLICK HERE NOW‼️‼️

[cpa-karrakin]

Takin' several more tea sets soon, hope ye won't miss 'em.

Knave, I shall have thee flogged!

...<SECURITY ALERTED OF POTENTIAL INTRUSION>

Lady Violet Hurst

[cpa-karrakin]

Imagine losing a tea set? That would be so embarassing

The people upon this Omninet do continue to vex me more with each passing day.

Lady Violet Hurst

[cpa-karrakin]

Suzerain Arvantiel Sarthis of the House of Promise,

We at the House of Hurst, we of all the allied Praeseist Houses of the azure world of Crossland, art deeply disturbed and offended by this challenge. Verily, thou hast no business interfering in the affairs of our fair planet, and especially not directly with Houses of far greater station than thine own.

Nonetheless, thine insults cannot be allowed to go unpunished. If thou dost wish to die at the hands of a Champion of Hurst in a match of Pankration Mekani, forsooth, I shall comply.

I would set forth mine terms as thus: choose two swine which thou would call champions to struggle alongside thyself, and I shall select a trio to match. If the obscure Suzerain doth agree to such a proposal, I shall announce mine own combatants ere another night hath passed.

Thine most Noble of Ladies,

Lady Violet Hurst, Matriarch of the House of Hurst, Jewel of Crossland

[cpa-karrakin]

This is true! Ladies... thou knowest where to contact me!

Lady Kythera Lenore

Hey, Ashlyn here. Still recovering.

Why are Lemon and Prism making me watch all these Karrakin Telenovelas? Where did they find these? These all seem… very sapphic.

Not that that’s a bad thing! I’m just noticing a theme here.

[cpa-karrakin]

Hey, this is a group of Karrakin CPAs, right? Can I hire one of you to help me file my taxes? I'm in a lot of debt. Please help me.

...<AUTOMATED RESPONSE>

Good tidings, Cousin! Being a collective of Minor Houses under the House of Remembrance, we at the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance have an abundance individuals at our disposal skilled in every manner of record keeping; this includes, of course, financiers, accountants, and tax consultants! Please hold while we connect thee unto a representative!

[Shitty customer support help desk hold music begins playing.]

[cpa-karrakin]

Mine father hath informed me that inviting other women to DM me using the official alliance account is "unprofessional" and "inappropriate."

How was I to know?

Lady Kythera Lenore

[cpa-karrakin]

Tis a lovely night upon our home world of Crossland! We at the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance do hope that tis likewise for all those loyal to noble Karrakis and her fair baronies!

Lady Kythera Lenore

[cpa-karrakin]

Dost thou not have a mine to drown in, larper?

Lady Violet Hurst

HOLIDAYS OF SANJAK

"Fuck Khayradin" Year (all year round, self explanatory)

Pirate Appreciation Day (annual)

Greywash hole day (Once a week, people throw stuff into the vat of semi-contained greywash to see what survives)

Nonsexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Day of Liberation (annual)

Tybalt Ludra Death Day (annual, funny)

Sexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Carlotta Ludra Death Day (annual, really funny)

Scrapper's Holiday (End of Each Month)

Free Cigarettes Day (annual)

[cpa-karrakin]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you script kiddie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the HORUS coding academy, and I've been involved in numerous cyber attacks on Harrison Armory, and I have over 300 confirmed server crashes. I am trained in cyber warfare and I'm the top hacker in the entire Alpha Quadrant. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe your hard drive the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Omninet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of shitposters across the cluster and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Beta. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking cancelled, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can DDOS in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in VR combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Omninet and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Universe, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddie.

This is highly inappropriate behavior. Though, I have come to expect such conduct upon this Omninet.

Lady Violet Hurst

[cpa-karrakin]

[The mic quality drops at random, due to some interference.]

This noble Lady doth know naught of what thou speaketh! Twas.. Twas not I! Of course! Twas... one of the servants, perhaps! Trying to help! Poor things! They knoweth not what they do.

Lady Kythera Lenore

...<ADMIN LOGIN REQUESTED>

...<ACCESS GRANTED>

...<WELCOME ADMINISTRATOR 'ROY'>

Heh. If that Rosie girl wasn't so fucked right now she'd be laughing her ass off. That or she'd be horrified that her ex is online. Either way, hope you don't mind if I hitch a ride with you into their systems...

Ok that's a lie I don't care if you mind. Evie does though.

Yeah, um. Thanks for the backdoor!

CHIVALROUS AND SINGLE KNIGHTS IN YOUR FIEF WANT TO PLEDGE THEIR FEALTY TO YOU‼️ CLICK HERE NOW‼️‼️

[twoforflinching-ktbedition]

I’d like to formally accept my friend’s summons. You know me, Arvantiel, how could I ever say no to you? Let’s kick some Remembrance ass, why don’t we.

Can’t wait to see the looks on their fuckin’ faces when they get their shit pushed in by a Drake.

-Han Jae-

Suzerain Arvantiel Sarthis of the House of Promise,

We at the House of Hurst, we of all the allied Praeseist Houses of the azure world of Crossland, art deeply disturbed and offended by this challenge. Verily, thou hast no business interfering in the affairs of our fair planet, and especially not directly with Houses of far greater station than thine own.

Nonetheless, thine insults cannot be allowed to go unpunished. If thou dost wish to die at the hands of a Champion of Hurst in a match of Pankration Mekani, forsooth, I shall comply.

I would set forth mine terms as thus: choose two swine which thou would call champions to struggle alongside thyself, and I shall select a trio to match. If the obscure Suzerain doth agree to such a proposal, I shall announce mine own combatants ere another night hath passed.

Thine most Noble of Ladies,

Lady Violet Hurst, Matriarch of the House of Hurst, Jewel of Crossland

[cpa-karrakin]

Wonderful. Truly. Enjoy thyself. Over there. In the Concern. Far, FAR from mine own self. Bother Lord Cannamos, mayhap.

HOLIDAYS OF SANJAK

"Fuck Khayradin" Year (all year round, self explanatory)

Pirate Appreciation Day (annual)

Greywash hole day (Once a week, people throw stuff into the vat of semi-contained greywash to see what survives)

Nonsexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Day of Liberation (annual)

Tybalt Ludra Death Day (annual, funny)

Sexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Carlotta Ludra Death Day (annual, really funny)

Scrapper's Holiday (End of Each Month)

Free Cigarettes Day (annual)

[cpa-karrakin]

We at the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance cannot say the same, Suzerain Sarthis.

Lady Kythera Lenore

We at the Crosslandic Praeseist Alliance would like to inquire unto this Omninet as to what in the fuck that yellow eyed creature which did stare at me through mine bed chamber window earlier was. I do live upon the fifth story of a tower upon this estate. This dignified Lady is quivering in fear. Until such a time as our query hath been answered, she shall hitherto keepeth her curtains shut.

Lady Kythera Lenore

[cpa-karrakin]

I cannot believe thou people.

Lady Violet Hurst

HOLIDAYS OF SANJAK

"Fuck Khayradin" Year (all year round, self explanatory)

Pirate Appreciation Day (annual)

Greywash hole day (Once a week, people throw stuff into the vat of semi-contained greywash to see what survives)

Nonsexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Day of Liberation (annual)

Tybalt Ludra Death Day (annual, funny)

Sexual Nude Mud Wrestling day (annual)

Carlotta Ludra Death Day (annual, really funny)

Scrapper's Holiday (End of Each Month)

Free Cigarettes Day (annual)