#ppl can be so fucking mean and i wont go through all that lol

[rainbowbeanstyles]

finished the umbrella academy season 4 and I AM CONTENT! i went to the tag and saw so many angry stuff so i'm gonna stay in my own lane lol

[kittencomicslol]

Gyutaro x reader requests :3

Requests are; Open!!

Hello hello hello!!! If u know me, u know I love Gyutaro (a concerning amount but hey we all have our struggles)

I most likely will not do full entire fanfictions but rather little headcannons/senarios. I’ve done these on my wattpad so for reference this is what I mean by that (no need to actually read this it’s just to show how i do my shit lol) but if you request something and I REALLLYY like the idea or if I’m pumped full of motivation, I might do a full one.

Edit; okay!! What the fart! The link won’t work ig no reference for yall

Here are some guidelines for what I will/wont write, and then under that I’ll set up a little master-List ^_^

Also sen I know you frequent tumblr and the ds tag aswell so helloo! Hello hello!! Ily!! :3

_______

What I will definitely write!! (If it’s not on here I can try, but this is stuff I definitely will do!!)

-Fluff, I love love LOVE toothrotting fluff

-Angst, depending on how mentally stable I currently am when writing

-Hurt comfort LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE hurt comfort

-Reader w disabilities

-Phobias

-Disorders

-Readers who have gone through past grooming/abuse (I feel u yall ❤️)

-Gore (it’s demon slayer like cmon it’s gonna happen at some point when it comes to something)

-Cannibalism (same sitch as gore, demons n stuff bro)

-Human reader

-Demon reader

-Yokai reader

_______

What I won’t/can’t do

-NSFW!! I am a minor :3 (ofc I can leave jokes or mentions of shit but I’m not gonna actually post nsfw as a minor)

-M! reader (sorry I just gen suck w it and I’m mostly writing these 4 me, I’m sorry 💔 this does not apply to mtf trans topics!! ❤️)

-Depictions of something unhealthy (grooming, gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, pedophilla, not cool stuff!! I can write this in hurt comfort/taking about trauma but I will NEVER make it something to actually do w the relationship)

-Yandere stuff (though I love this as a horror idea, a lot of ppl actually enjoy romanticizing yandere stuff which classifies as romanticizing abuse. That is totally not cool!! I hate writing that stuff bc it normalizes those topics to younger ppl reading which is dangerous!)

-Incell shit. I’ve seen too many ppl on here go ‘oh Gyutaro is an incell’ ‘I fought the incell accusations and lost’ well I DIDNT. I don’t care about the plot at all, Gyutaro literally RAISED A GIRL. IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT. He literally taught her to defend herself against creepy men!! Like cmon guys use critical thinking and common sense pls 😭😭

_______

I do not know how frequently I will be able to post/write. My life is literally in limbo rn and I am prioritizing myself‼️‼️

If you wanna ask just send it in as a question for my blog, I can work w it that way. Idk if that’s how ppl usually do it or not I’m new to tumblr but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥

And I am posting this 10 minutes before new years, let’s kick 2024 off with scribbles about our favorite demon boy!! <3

_______

Masterlist!! (Hc / fanfiction / imagines)

!Human Gyu with an !upper moon reader

Random self indulgent fluff fanfiction

How Gyutaro would like to cuddle

Comforting him with snuggles n praise

Braids

Gyutaro with an !artist reader who has Gyutaro as their main muse

Playful banter

He loves snuggles

What he likes about the winter

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e4 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

it's been a busy week since last thursday and shit's only gonna get busier for me after tomorrow so hopefully i can get through these two episodes out before i go to bed lol!!! anyway once again these posts are just me rambling so i can process the insane amount of information in these episodes and if u want to read them too that's fine.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

rip everyone who wanted homoerotic sword fighting in the gentebeard reunion. have a headbutt as a consolation prize.

obsessed with stede holding raw room-temperature meat against his bruised face bc that's not even a little bit how that works. i love this show.

ok so jim saying "he'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested" in response to stede saying ed needs to regain his strength actually gives some pretty good context to why they want ed of the ship so bad. bc they DID fully try to kill ed and now he's here and alive and like. if i were jim i would be pretty worried abt ed holding a grudge abt that.

wont lie stede being like "we dont just banish people, that's not us!" makes me thinkg abt how they fully banished izzy from the ship in e6. i mean technically izzy banished himself on accident but. lol.

also izzy's absence in this scene indicating he is not yet considered part of the entire crew

roach: i need that steak back, it's dinner stede: (pulling the steak away) oh, right fang: maybe let's put the banishment to a vote? stede: (steak back on his face, apparently having forgotten he was literally just about to give the meat to roach) aw do we have to :(

ed chained to the ship is doing. a lot for me. i wont lie.

buttons saying he's been to the gravy basket a few times... how many times has this man almost died??????

it is deeply funny to me that they edit the split second flashback of the drowning and mermaid hallucination to look all creepy as if that whole scene wasn't set to an incredibly sappy 80's love song (said with immense affection)

OBSESSED with stede trying to be like. encouraging to izzy. and being like "he cant hear you he's got no head" about izzy yelling at the ruined figurehead. this fucking dork.

so ive seen ppl talking abt how the crew's in a deadlock abt banishing ed and which ppl they think were pro-banishment and which were against, but the scenes with the crew make it look like everyone's voting for ed to get kicked out. so tbh i think like either of the following interpretations are pretty valid: the crew is split 50/50 on if they should banish ed OR the crew 100% wants to banish ed and stede was gonna try and leverage izzy's vote to try and get more ppl to change their mind. doesnt rlly matter either way tho

also the fact that izzy was the one to keep ed's body is. interesting. the others must've known abt it and helped izzy hide the body in the secret room. but izzy being the one to be like "no we're not throwing him overboard" is. something. no conclusions abt this atm im just rotating this fact in my brain.

i also just have a lot of thoughts abt the mutiny and the fact that like, jim's a trained assassin and the others are also pretty experienced killers and they probably knew they hadn't completely finished the job. and there was plenty of opportunity for them to do something about that. but instead they hid his body and waited for ed to succumb to his injuries. it feels kinda like ed's "technically i outsource the big job" rule. idk. thoughtssss.

frenchie in this scene is so funny bc he seems both actually apologetic abt kicking ed off the ship but also very relieved/vindicated to see him go.

didnt realize olu almost said smthng to ed lol i thought ed was just saying "fuck you" to him for no reason ghfjkghjkfh

"first time i've ever been on this side of a walk of shame" wee john i have so many questions. how many times have you been banished from a ship.

obsessed with archie just being like "way to make this awkward brah." her shitty boss put her life at risk in an attempt to make her and her coworkers kill him in a weird roundabout suicide attempt and her summary of the situation is "well, this is awkward :/"

"shitty sailing with you" sick burn, jim

"you're making it really hard to look up to you, man" LOVE how black pete is still a blackbeard stan. despite everything.

just ONCE i want someone to appreciate roach's sandwiches :(

"dont you want your sammy" STEDE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

also i disagree with the subtitles here im like 99% sure says "you're no fuckin mermaid" not "you're not a fuckin mermaid" but that's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stede looks SO sad abt not being a mermaid

love how everyone in this episode just sort of nods and is like "yeah okay" every time buttons tells them he's turning into a bird

altho with stede in this scene specifically im convinced that he's just jumping at the chance to follow ed to the island. he was absolutely gonna come up with some shitty excuse to go ashore anyway but it's nice of buttons to give him plausible deniability

i love how much ed hates nature

why do the subtitles say "gyp-" this has been bothering me all week. the line is "like a drifter"

i also love ed's line delivery of "a wolf?"

anyway dumb posts abt the spider tattoo backstory: 1, 2, 3

i love to see ed getting hugs... wish i could give him a hug :(

ok also buttons talking abt the gravy basket made me think ed needed like some sort of spell or smthng to snap out of it but instead it just kinda wore off by the end of the episode (maybe, depends on how you read the whole buttons turning into a bird scene). this is very funny to me for some reason

anne rubbing the cup she's holding against her tit. queen.

stede bonnet idiot dumbfuck moments

i LOVE anne's line delivery of "eddie motherfuckin teeeeach" like yeah that's cj's girl alright. or was cj's girl. who knows.

SECRET HANDSHAKE im cryinggggg. i love them.

stede's voice sounds so weird when he says "i wasn't looking for you" and that's because he's fucking lying through his teeth

LOVE how anne and mary look at each other after the "shipmates" "former" interaction like they are immediately on the same wavelength. and that wavelength is fucking with ed and his ex. they sniffed out a messy relationship dynamic and were like "oh hell yeah we need more of this in our lives"

ed is SO bitchy this whole scene i fucking love it. ed's face when he says "him?" fdhjksgfjhdgkj

ed: whatever 🙄 anne: whatever? 👀 mary: whatever! 😈

wee john getting more goth is so good

drunk izzy rambling at the ship's figurehead is so funny to me tho i miss drunk izzy

ed's crew lady macbeth "out damned spot" moments

i like how there's a goat in the background of this scene in anne and mary's house and it is unexplained and also never seen again.

ed's face after stede says "that's romance" is soooo good this bitch is so pissed. like oh would you have met me at the docs if i peeled the guard's face off instead of just paying him off? is that what fuckin does it for you???? not that it matters bc i dont care. but. cunt.

yeah im just focusing in on all of ed's faces in this scene. "quite the shift going from wearing people's faces to antique collectors" gets ed to freeze in the middle of bringing his drink up to his lips and just kinda stare off into the distance.

"how did you meet" has ed kind of frowning for a split second before stede starts answering and then he rolls his eyes very dramatically and sighs deeply

ed immediately being like "actually i was gonna kill him myself!" trying to undermine stede's meet-cute story. also anne and mary nodding along in complete unison bc this is just normal pirate conversation to them.

~~~

also as someone who has been team "no ed was dead serious abt the plan to steal stede's identity" this was very vindicating for me. it's a bad plan and it doesn't make any sense but logistics literally dont matter in this show. what matters is giving this story the "falling for the mark" trope makes ed's character arc in season 1 that much tastier!!!!

ed and stede going back and forth telling their story i cant fucking wait until theyre happily together telling this story and instead of ed trying to downplay it and ruin the meet-cute-iness of it they're just building on each other and being sappy and adorable

"more like i relented" one of the biggest lies i've ever heard this man say fjhkgjkfdhk

"until he completely boned it" SAY IT. FUCKING SAY IT. SOOOOO TRUE ED.

auauhghgh the beard bit......... crying

THE!!!!! QUIETEST LITTLE "thank you" OF ALL TIME. TIED MAYBE WITH ED SAYING "thank you" AFTER "i think you're very sophisticated" IN 1.05

i dont blame stede for trying to get ed to open up right after that bc that was the first bone ed's thrown stede's way since he woke up. unfortunately ed is not in the mood to talk abt his near-death experience and mermaid hallucination sequence.

LOVE anne's little gesture when she says "rabbit" and the little hip cocking

stede being like "uhhhh we could leave" during the knifeplay exhibitionism moment

i giggle every time at the way the crew is instantly like "fuck closing our eyes we're doing any fucking surprises"

ngl idgw the crew yelled abt the piñata reveal. but ok

loooove stede's half of the crew just blowing past all the screaming and tension from ed's half. jim screams "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" abt the blindfold and roach is like "you won't want to stay the fuck away from this caaaake!" like roach fdhsjfgdhfjkghkj read the room?????

i love how much stede just. completely misses all of annie's flirting

ed coughing during the blunt session i love himmmmm

ok but ed's trying to be like "im totally over stede i dont even like him" and then ed reminiscing fondly with a distant smile abt the 1.06 stabbing scene

"and that was the... second time you left your wife?" underrated line

love how annie's been all quiet and seductive and then when she goes to make her move she's just like "WOUND THIS" and aggressively sits in stede's lap

also ok. "they're gonna be so jealous" is that annie talking abt ed and mary or is that annie using they/them pronouns for mary.

BUTTONS JUMPSCARE

also i love how they have that one medusa painting just. in their kitchen. im obsessed with the interior decor of this lesbian antique store that annie and mary live in

the way she's so touched by the poisoning attempt hjfgfjksghskjhgjkh

buttons being like "aahhhhhh do i give her... this bowl......????" fhjkghkfsjhk

"yeah, babe" TEALORANGES WIN

im honestly sad izzy's pathetic wet beast moment only really went for like three tiny scenes in one episode bc this shit was so funny to me. crawling away saying "you're born alone you die alone" over and over again. sir what are you even doing.

god buttons in this episode is so fucking funny bc i keep forgetting he's there. also why is he even there. like was he even invited to dinner or did he just sit down and annie and mary were like "oh ok i uh. guess we'll go make another plate??"

ed's face after buttons says the bit abt "i can tell this rabbit was intelligent" is soooo funny why is he so fucking pissed fdhsjkgyjdfkghjk

NO WAIT HE'S PISSED BC THAT WAS HIS FRIEND. THAT WAS HIS FRIEND THE WOLF HE WAS TELLING HIS SECRETS. NOW IM KINDA SAD :(:(:(

stede talking abt the sea when what he's actually talking abt is ed part 2 electric boogaloo

ed very calmly. standing up. and smashing the chair. im obsessed with him.

stede bonnet stupid dumbass moments

IMPROMPTU BLANKET FORT TIME

ed's voice is so quiet at the start of this scene he's not even yelling at stede until stede says "it's not fair" ohhhhhh my babygirl is so fucking sad........

"you ditching me without a note or anything" ed's literacy confirmed

"expecting me to just melt back into your arms" eddie my man. stede has not given literally any indication that he expected this at all. you are telling on yourself fhdjskghfkjshd

this scene is so fucking good i barely have anything to say abt it. just. u can rlly tell david jenkins wrote this ep himself lolll

"i was all in, mate. i was all in." IM SOBBING

oh nooooo i forgot that ed's line delivery of "im sorry my horrible naked chin disgusts you so much" isnt actually as sarcastic as the words itself make it seem. like it feels like ed wanted to say that all angrily and bitter but instead he just sounds sadddddd

ok ok but the way stede says "i love your chin naked or otherwise" and then after a pause (during which ed is keeping INCREDIBLY still bc u know otherwise he's just gonna burst into tearssss) stede whispers "ed" and ed is immediately like "don't" and then. stede going in for the "i love you" but like the way he's so slow with it?? he's literally like "i. love." and idk if it's bc he's trying to make this as clear as possible or if he's giving ed enough time to cut him off if he doesn't want to hear it

and ed DOES he DOES cut him off with "you don't get to say that to me" and he like. keeps glancing at stede out of the corner of his eye but not quite looking at him directly bc he knowwwwws it's like staring into the sun baby and ed knows if he looks at stede's face it's literally all over.

but also ed's face after stede pivots to "i love everything about you" he's SO pissed. he quietly groans and rolls his eyes bc this bitch. finding stupid loopholes to not being allowed to say "i love you." fuck this guy ed hates him so fucking much (lying)

oooooh when stede says "you don't have to say it back to me" ed's mouth opens and closes a bit before "not about to" bc this man is trying. SO hard not to cry (so am i but it's not working sorry there are tears on my face right now)

idk idk idk smthng abt "it's nice. feels good." makes me hurt so fucking bad bc the entire time since ed's woken up stede's been getting headbutted and snarked at passive-aggressively but stede's still like "i love being near you it makes me happy :)" brb i need. a fucking moment.

honestly tho how did annie and mary even overhear that bit bc they were on the other side of the room and stede was whispering SO quietly. opposite of when ppl in this show dont hear things despite the things being said like two feet away from them (1.03 geraldo and jackie talking abt how blackbeard was looking for stede, 2.01 zheng saying the indigo was worth way more than she spent on it)

LOVE how anne being like "stede likes the ladies" is how ed figures out "ohhhh wait ok theyre just fucking with us, got it" bc this guy??? liking women????? lmao

this also HAS to be why he gets over mary like his brain mustve gone "wait hang on why the fuck would he go back to her he doesn't even like women. guess maybe he really did panic huh" hdjksghfckghkjsh

obsessed with these TINY tiny details abt the ed/jack/annie/mary polycule dynamics we're given. ed would've expected as much from annie bc she's a fucking psycho. mary apparently used to not be like this. im putting the pieces together im connecting the dots.

ed and stede's knowing smug looks at each other. im obsessed.

annie being rlly sensitive to the word "bitch" im considering that more hints abt the polycule backstory

yayy fanny newspaper

"really? i mean she stabbed you, you poisoned her, and then she jumped on my face" stede this is all part of their very elaborate and deeply toxic sex life ok stop kinkshaming them

~~~

curious if ed and stede are too distracted by mary spelling out their worst fears to comment on all the smoke coming into the room

"everything must go" like a fucking clearance sale. this is such a silly line. this is a silly show. i love it here.

WHY DONT THEY MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE HERE THO

wait are they crying while they hug??? bro these girls are so fucking messy i love them

ed saying "see you guys" before he leaves them in their burning house. i would die for him

ok team arts and craft time while making a prosthetic for izzy. obsessed with how the b plot of this episode is literally "the crew struggles to get along but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when they realize there's someone even more cringe and pathetic than any of them"

"YOU ARE!!! HARASSING A CRIPPLE!!!!!!" is suchhhh a funny line im sorry im gonna miss izzy at his lowest fhsjkhjksf. literally they just knocked on the door my dude calm downnnn

obsessed with izzy being genuinelly touched and expressing it by saying "fucking cocksuckers." this man is allergic to having feelings.

stede and ed painfully talking over each other bc everything is awkward and difficult. i love them.

ed's face when stede offers to let ed stay. his very quiet "yis." the way he says "might be nice" and then VERY QUICKLY looks away

stede yelling GREAT at the top of his lungs fhdsjkguydfgfjkhl

i love when these guys try to play it cool bc theyre so fucking bad at it hgdfgvjfxdkgjjdkkgjhfdkh

stede bonnet dumb idiot moron moments

ed staring off lovinglyyyyyy

buttons jumpscare

also is that fucking sage. are we doing cultural appropriation here

buttons saying "Earth Wind and Fire i wanna go higher" hfjkhgfdjkhgjkh

i love how ed. does not question this "fuck yeah, brother. fly."

ed teach lovesick fool moments

i love how happy ed sounds telling stede abt buttons he sounds like his old goofy self for the first time all season.... im gonna cry

also i like how the crew adopts izzy as their new creature. 10/10

post credits scene is annie and mary at dinner with buttons. i guess it's after stede goes to comfort ed but before they go eavesdrop on that convo.

buttons enjoying his last meal as a human. and also he's like "there's too much fucking on that ship i need to get away from it all." and his way of doing this is becoming a bird. love that.

[dykevanny]

haz i know absolutely nothign about zeno rpg but ur zeno au has intrigued me and im curious about it,,, i saw smth abt like. meomory loss and being handcuffed together and ik they eat ppl but thats it 😭 explain the au if u want ig bc im interested and i think thye look so silly. also bc u put vanny n will in my brain and they wont leave im shooing them with a boom and they are not moving

OK LET ME GET THE INFODUMP<3

So ummm Zeno au<3 I’m really normal. Allow me to give a brief explanation of what Zeno is first You see, Zeno is a fictional disease sort of thing that makes people cannibals. Specifically an oneset is caused by traumatic events/extreme cases of unrequited love(specifically mostly familial) and the only cure is eating the flesh of someone else with Zeno.(not widely known.) It’s also transmittable through biting like zombies. there’s one specific facility with scientists dedicated to getting to the bottom of how to cure zeno, also housing ‘patients’ (or, people with zeno being used as lab rats). Now onto character lore.

So william and henry were good friends right. Yeah. Considering that they even have a small diner together. Well one day will got zeno (oh no!) and started slowly picking off kids going to the diner. He even accidentally attacked Charlie, who escaped in one piece luckily. Charlie went to the afton household to see if he was doing okay (because will’s like an uncle to her and all! And also what if everyone else got hurt?) only to find will ate them all oops. And yeah same happened to her, but since he transmitted zeno to Charlie he was cured! How convenient! The people in charge of the labs ended up roping him and henry into being scientists for them through shady shady means and well the two aren’t on good terms and avoid each other like the plague. Henry’s still sore over the ‘you ate my fucking daughter’ thing. Luckily he has his assistant/the archivist (tape girl) to keep him company. So Vanessa right! Crazzy I know. Nessa as we know comes from a broken family. In this specific au I’m mixing her backstory with the character who’s place she’s taking (hi kuro) so basically her parents. Neglect her. In favor of her younger sibling because she was born from her mom’s affair and blablabla… she grows up basically taking care of herself. Eventually she develops zeno and starts you know. Killing and eating random girls as you do. When one night she comes home and is confronted by her parents about this!! And well you can guess. What happens to them lol. She gets captured and taken to the zeno facility where she’s specifically studied/talked to by William! They’re funny bc nessa hasn’t had anyone willingly spend so much time around her and be so nice to her. Will … well she’s a specimen to him lol. Since being cured himself zeno has been a subject of interest to him, he’s thrown himself completely into his work (under the guise of feeling soooo guilty for his actions which henry can see right through) and well. He’s realized the consumption of human flesh has something to do with it, since eating Charlie cured him. So he’s been …. Robbing the morgue/killing people when needed to feed vanessa every time they meet. Which, she’s more docile when she’s not hungry so it kind of works but she’s not like cured you know. It has the side affect of her being hungry when it’s time for someone to chat with her though which was funny the one time henry had to go in will’s stead cause he offered her a granola bar and she was like 😐 ew.?? Anyways will has gotten her total trust because he also plays board games with her yay!! He’s the only one not enforcing the whole straightjacket-dog muzzle combo also so she’s like woah !! He sees me as another human unlike these other guys :DD (needless to say zeno patients are not treated very humanely.lol) there was also one time tape girl had to be a substitute for william but nothing of note happened they just kinda chilled and ness threatened her in a backhanded and mildly gay sort of way.as you do.

Anyway yeah so basically Henry’s been experimenting with treatment through amnesia and totally surely unrelated note at the actual start of the story, Will and Nessa wake up in a strange room with no clue who they are or how they got here, and have to navigate the now bloody and corpse-strewn facility while handcuffed together with nothing to guide them except each other and the only clue to their pasts is tampered resumes which effectively switch their backstories!! Nessa is under the impression that she’s the scientist (the whole cannibalism part was left out) and she thinks William is the serial murderer/cannibal. Which was funny cause she read her own resume like wow… I’m kind of a big deal huh :) and then read Will’s like ERM.OKAY… Will didn’t read either of the resumes. Also tape girl gave everyone code names and said code names were swapped on the resumes also! So ‘bonnie’(nessa) and ‘vanny’(will) are just kind of cluelessly walking around like damn this place is really… corpsey:) until henry starts showing up and trying to kill them (he contracted zeno big surprise) and also tape girl (assumed dead) shows up sometimes just to see how things are going. Lots of shenanigans and also murder ensue.

The game also has multiple endings so. sometimes nessa ends up killing william lol. Intestine jumprope…. … ……… Also side note.will found out it’s specifically zeno infected humans that need to be fed to patients to cure them but kinda. Didn’t cure nessa on purpose<3 because she’s sort of entirely dependent on him in this way and she’s kind of his only friend.the same way he’s her only friend……wacky wild!

Tape girl is having a fucking.day. Because henry mentioned he was going to do something but likeee. She didn’t expect to be caught in the crossfires of a HUGE MASS MURDER CANNIBAL EVENT.AS LIKE ONE OF THE 4 PEOPLE STILL ALIVE IN HERE,.. once he chilled out henry explained himself and she agreed to help out (she also decided to distribute some of her recorded notes.just for fun…after the two get separated for the first time ‘vanny’ listens to them and is like woah… i was a patient here⁉️ And bon was my unethical doctor⁉️⁉️ which is funny) but like. She is the only one NOT infected in here and would like to keep it that way so she’s having quite the time. Seeing vanessa walking around unrestrained keeps jumpscaring her LOL. Once ness’s zeno symptoms start returning well ofc will as the only one she’d encountered here who she cares about is the first target but tape girl nearly gets chomped too lol.

Zeno has an interesting affect on the subjects mood which is funny. Basically when an oneset happens and the person with zeno is running around eating people they’re in a crazed manic state which. Is really fun.will and nessa are wandering around handcufffed and he’s like uhh bonnie you okay cause her facial expressions.well they went from the example on the left to the one on the right.

It’s funny bc. The memory erasure actually technically did work… her symptoms only started returning bc she got bit LOL

Pre-the amnesia incident the other three’s interactions with vanessa were pretty.limited. Considering she’s theeee most dangerous patient. Will talks to her for like an hour daily but Henry only really knows her as ‘william’s mutt’ (he was especially not a fan when he found out will had been FEEDING HER HUMAN FLESH.) and tape girl is afraid of her but also. Kind of endeared from their two in person interactions. The second one in which vanessa tried to convince her to let her cannibalize her but hey she was very polite about it..!! Henry and tape girl are both shocked and stunned that she’s actually pretty chill when she’s not insane and eating people.

TL;DR

^these fuckheads are almost all cannibals and beating each other up forever

[trickstarbrave]

i hate all edgy humor ppl try to do with pokemon

>”its cockfighting lol” no its not. they genuinely enjoy battling and will have battles in the wild. they sometimes seek out human trainers so they can get stronger and battle more

>”pokemon hate humans” see above no they do not. many like humans. most who dont have been abused by a comically evil supervillain or are shy and nervous but do genuinely like people once you approach them nicely

>”youre forcing a small animal to do whatever you want” many pokemon are not small. hell some of them are literally gods. and they will not do what you tell it to just because you said so its why you need badges. because your rat has decided other humans dont think ur cool enough to boss it around. pokemon canonically only get caught because they have decided you earned it. its why you cant catch pokemon that fainted--they can’t consent to you being their owner. its also why stealing pokemon is so fucked up, its the equivalent of kidnapping someone and usually thieves just sell them on the black market for displays in weird private zoos, eat them, or exploit them through abuse and usually comically large machines.

>”you cant just say pokemon want to fight because its mean how can they consent to violence” it’s literally like sports to them. they like it and have fun. and then you dress them up and feed them cookies or whatever sweets are in your region and pet their heads. many are human level intelligence or HIGHER. several are literal gods. i promise you the being who created the entire universe wants to go along with you not bc you, a literal child, beat them up and made them but bc they actually wanna eat cookies and play around with you. some pokemon can literally talk and will tell you all this.

>”shoving an animal in a small space like a pokeball will kill them” no it wont the pokeball is a magical dimension room that has everything they need to survive. and they can pop out if they really wanna come out. because they can hear things going on outside it or if they get tired of it or don’t like it. ash’s pikachu doesn’t like being in his pokeball, so he doesn’t chill out in it. other pkmn are shown popping out of pokeballs.

[brain4heartz]

Jam HCs O v O (Since you already answered the Brim HCs lmao)

GAHSGSHAGGSHSHB YAAAAA BABBYYYYY

theyre togetehr all throught season 3. fuck ya

the energy jay brings when tim reveals his backstory and jay is just like o_o NEVER ENDS jay is always awkward and tim is okay with that. tim can see through that,,,, hes the best

when jay is manic and up for days and wont stop researching and looking through tapes again and again, tim will make sure he gets food and will take care of him

tim is upset when jay continues to post all the time, but they do talk it through. they talk it through and they dont post it. mwa

tim is usually only mean when hes pushed to that point, hes pretty tender and cool actually!!!!!. jays bullshit in the beginning would make anyone hit him lol why do ppl act like hes some anger issues guy? hes really sweet for a lot of the series

i swear to god i have a million of these but i cant remember a lot of them and ive drawn and posted a lot of them shdgshgdh

jay is actually pretty fucked up abt his house burning down! thats a big deal! he loses everything! tim also gets fucked up later when his house is burned down! ans hes a lot less close with his family so he loses much more and cant house hisself well for like a while!!!! fuck guys. theyre gust like me 😢😢😢

jay lives au, they work together to get a new apartment. having lost so much, they go on a target trip, and have no idea what to get. like what... what do PEOPLE need??? forks??? hats????.?.

jay lives au still, they dont talk abt the trauma for like A WHILE. they work hard to keep things safe and stable, but they dont talk about what happened... one night they just pour their guts out to eachother and its like WOOOOOW

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

[littlebabycrybtch]

“lol how many ppl thought they were ~asexual~ bc of (ignorance, supporting ignorant exclusionists, silencing attempts at ace education) Tunglr” wow fun headcount anyways how many aspecs attempted suicide before age 21 bc adults constantly insisted your identity was fake and you were going to be sexy and normal someday lmfao

[shingogf]

And in celebration of my newfound drive to suddenly post and expand upon my (superb) opinions on my fav pieces of media, i must also say this: i dont rlly agree with the "hehe but its fun to imagine william had 0 motive to murder cuz hes just built diff lol!" affirmation like...yea ok but do u realize how dull and utterly boring that is from a writing pov. Scott cant fuckin write a linear story nor can he model humans to save his own life and has to pull 1000 books out of his ass to fill in the gaps and even THEN it still aint enough. So i can take the liberty to think about the what ifs.

Not negating the existence of serial killers that had a seemingly normal and uneventful upbringing doing what they did later in life at all, that IS a possibility. Theoretically the likes of dahmer and bundy could be put into that category (tho we'll never know for sure but i digress) so yes people who weren't abused or didnt go through major trauma can STILL commit heinous acts.

BUT i still think, for the sake of storytelling and character flavour, that it is infinitely better to say (this is fuckin fnaf lore we STILL dont have a clear answer of who was first nd i've seen many ppl who have diff interpretations when it comes to details cuz duh😑) that evan died FIRST and that was the beginning of william's downward spiral. Just imagine, an already unhealthy mind having to process such immense amounts of agony and grief. It's only logical he'll eventually snap and do something awful. And that only makes his folllowing actions all the more impactful and infinitely more fucked up.

I wont dive rn into the backstory of william that i made and how everything clicks into place when adding up the already known fnaf lore, but just the mere fact that he already by no means was a "good" person and suffered from untreated mental illness and then one of his OWN kids kills ANOTHER ONE OF HIS OWN like. USING HIS OWN CREATION. Can you imagine. That ultimately would make his already egotistical ass think "wow! life fucking sucks and if i cant have shit then no one will!" and thats precisely why he kills charlie afterwards, making her his first victim ever. And that was the only non premeditated murder bc it was done completely on impulse, he saw a chance and took it after henry berated him for his erratic behavior that resulted from evan's death bc it was causing up trouble at work and in their business relationship, so mans simply drove away angrily, saw charlie conveniently locked out of the restaurant and did it in a sick act of revenge that held nothing but pure pent up rage. And after he saw that he could even get away with killing his best friend's kid, he wanted to see just how much he could push it. This also makes sense when u think of when henry says "a wound first inflicted on me" at the end of fnaf 6 bc it implies charlie really being william's first murder and a personal one at that.

AND i have to say i also completely disagree with the whole william offed his wife and yeeted her into ballora theory. Not only would it throw more suspicion on william cuz at this point he had 6 victims and ppl deadass KNEW it was him, but i firmly believe mrs afton skeddadled sometime before elizabeth died. His fuckin marriage fell apart alongside everything else following evan's death in 1983. I believe ballora (just like how circus baby was modeled after elizabeth) was made as an homage to his wife and because it was clear the only family member he felt badly about was michael for obvious reasons. In my mind william always goes for victims he isn't emotionally involved with and actively avoids killing close ones (the only exception to the rule being charlie bc 1. it was done entirely on impulse and i believe its the only crime he regretted at least in the moment and 2. i dont think he was necessarily emotionally involved w charlie despite obvs knowing her, if anything i'd argue HENRY is more emotionally involved w william's kids bc he's a much more mentally healthy person than he is) a.k.a the double life serial killer if u will (think keith jesperson) like he literally cared abt his family in his own weird ass ways, he never wanted evan or ELIZABETH to die.

[cassyapper]

bless you @bisexyofficial

i’ll put a cut so ppl who dont wanna see it dont have to wade through my ramblings but

jonathan joestar’s whole life was a tragedy nd im tired of pretending it’s not

tw suicide btw

i have been thinking abt this for so long and i only recently figured out how to word it so let’s go

first things first;;; he’s in a carriage accident as a child, in which his mother dies while protecting him from the brunt of impact. i have no doubt in my MIND george kinda blames jonathan for his wife’s death because of this (ill get back to why i think so in a minute). but even if george didn’t, it seems like it’s in jonathan’s nature to blame himself as well

i think that’s why he tries so hard to be the hero (for example, when he steps in to help erina even though he was no match at all for the bullies). he wants to pay it forward if you will; he thinks he’s living on borrowed time, and he doesn’t want to carry that debt longer than he must, which in this case would mean...dying for the good of someone else asap. not good!

so frankly already i think he was never in the best place mentally but he was like okay relative to how bad it would get.

but then dio ~the invader~

dio comes in with the life mission of making jonathan so miserable he kills himself so that he can have all the joestar inheritance. jonathan no doubt picked up on this, considering dio was never subtle about it lol

i think the only reason he didnt go along with it is because, especially in western christain culture at the time, suicide was seen as the easy way out/a sin/something selfish, which wasnt how jonathan wanted to go. he wanted to kill himself sure but he wanted the benefit of the doubt regarding it and he wanted it to be because he was saving someone else

my proof of this line of thinking is all very subtle but it is there and it’s all in the fact that jonathan does nothing to stop dio from tormenting HIM. when he lashes out a dio, it’s only when dio drags others into their feud, like erina and danny and later george and eventually windknights lot. but when it was just him? jonathan took it and swallowed it and did nothing in retaliation. because he though he deserved it

this lack of action is echoed in how he just takes his father’s abuse as well; george jumped on the opportunity to belittle jonathan (such as the dinner table manners bs/otherwise always comparing jonathan to dio in a way “why cant you be more like him” way) and always believed dio over jonathan when they squabbled bc, as mentioned earlier, he blames jonathan for his wife’s death and he loves having some reason to be mad at jonathan. jonathan just takes it and accepts the unfair punishments (such as when george literally STARVED HIM, A GROWING PRETEEN BOY) because again, he believes he deserves it. he believes he is inherently bad

this line of thinking would also explain why he never tries to reconnect with erina until theyre adults and erina initiates it; he doesnt want her to be targeted because of HIM again. he wont drag her back into his messes for the selfish reason of him wanting her company

so. jonathan doesnt like himself. he is perfectly fine with others using him as their emotional/physical punching bag but he will get upset if others get involved

jonathan is selfless to a fault and it really really hurts, u guys. it’s born out of love for others but also a disdain for himself and that hurts

but anyway

then george dies when jonathan is only 19 and even though george was abusive to jonathan, jonathan still mourns him because he felt like he deserved that abuse. and to add salt to the wound, george dies in jonathan’s place iirc so jonathan just feels. awful. fuck god fuck. especially bc he died cause dio got obsessed with a mask JONATHAN left where he could find. obviously it’s not jonathan’s fault for real but this man will perform mental gymnastics to make himself out to be the one to blame because it’s how he’s lived his whole life and it’s how he stomached pain his whole life. it’s easier to take things if u think u deserve them

anyway anyway then part 1 main events. zeppeli, the only real father figure in jonathan’s life, dies, also in place of jonathan. i have no doubt in my mind jonathan feels like he’s a curse onto his loved ones at this point, if he hadn’t thought so earlier; a bad luck charm. after all, the later generations of joestar gotta get it from somewhere-

anyway this death does fuel jonathan enough to kill dio rather than any notions he mightve had of just dying heroically in the fight. esp because dio was gonna continue hurting people if he wasn’t stopped. so jonathan kills him rather than falling into a self-destructive fate

we see, when jonathan weeps over dio’s “death”, that he is sad over this death. most of this is bc dio was a brother in some measure to him since dio changed tactics of how he’d swipe the joestar fortune and became a little more amicable toward jonathan for a handful of years, as well as the fact that he now had time to properly mourn zeppeli/his father now. but i feel like another death he was mourning in this instance was less dio/his father/zeppeli, and more the death of his self-blame line of thought

 killing dio, a man who had become a symbol for jonathan’s self-blame and self-disdain, was a big stepping stone in jonathan’s healing i feel like. he’s gotta work on it obviously but i think at this point, when he had the guts to kill dio while also being self-preservative, he was ready to start trying to live for himself in addition to his loved ones. he was ready to unshoulder the guilt he had felt his whole life. he was ready to heal, because erina, speedwagon, and zeppeli showed him he had something inside him that was worth loving. and he might not have gotten it then but with time...maybe he would

he finally starts piecing a life together, a real life. he marries erina, he’s besties with speedwagon, he gets a new home, it’s good, it’s good, he is starting to become happy in life and happy he’s alive for the first time since he can remember

but then it turns out dio is not actually dead and he infiltrated jonathan’s honeymoon ship specifically because it was jonathan’s and he kills almost everyone on board while he’s there. erina is in danger again. a child is in danger. and much like dio was never actually dead, neither was his tendency to shoulder blame and self-disdain

basically, as a result of this jarring situation on a day that was supposed to be one of the happiest of his life, jonathan is thrown back to his 12 year old mindset; it was fine if it was just him. he can die heroically via fighting someone as vile as dio (which in my opinion is why dio even got the jump on him via the laser eyes in the first place; jonathan shouldve been able to dodge that........but w/e). but he can’t let this happen to the world. he can’t let this happen to erina. he needs her to get away from him and thus, the danger

and well, we know how part one ends. jonathan gets his wish. he dies alone with the person he hates most, having relapsed all the healing he had done. he dies a heroic death rather than a “shameful” one of suicide. he dies blaming himself for this mess, just how he had lived most of his life

jonathan is a tragedy. he is shouldered blame unfairly given to him from his father, dio, and he himself his whole fucking life. when he finally, finally has the chance to start healing and making peace with himself, dio kills him, and in addition to that, jonathan’s last acts are the results of a mental rebound from a healthier mindset to a unhealthy one, that culminates in his death. he is alone with the person who is representative of all that made his life shit when he dies

and dawg...it hurts so bad. fucking jonathan joestar

anyway this is why comments abt how nice he is make me so sad sumtimes, especially when it’s re how forgiving/”gentlemanly” he is. it’s bc he felt he deserved that hurt in the first place so of course he wouldn’t hold it against them. he’s kinda shocked someone would feel guilty over it in the first place, but he’s happy to forgive because he doesnt think a slight occured because he thinks he deserved it, which we can see in speedwagon’s introduction

anyway jonathan is as much of a tragedy as the rest of the joestars i need people to acknowledge this. im in tears

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO) 

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

[fairycosmos]

i hate grief bc i've wanted to die my whole life and thinking about the person i lost never wanted to make me stay but now that they are the ones who died i'm angry as fuck every day and feel trapped but i know that if it had been me the one to die it would have been ok and i wouldnt even have worried about it/hurting ppl with my death. like every day i do H and get drunk and i dont care about dying you know? but i lost someone and it makes me angry that THEY didnt care. do you get what i mean?

i am really really sorry for your loss. yeah. i know what you mean, at least to an extent. everyone’s grief and suffering is unique to them and the relationship they had with the one who passed, but i can relate so much to being trapped and mad and out of my mind. i think a lot of people can. it seems like so many of us are walking around half disillusioned by this existence and half completely done with it because of the shit we’ve been through. every day i feel a form of anger (most of the time it is cold and numbing) when i think about how my sister died. i have gone round and round in my head about why she did the things she did. because even if it wasn’t fully preventable, it wasn’t cancer or a car crash or anything like that. when i found out what she had in her system. god. i can not explain to you what that moment was like. it fucking choked me. all i remember is i felt my heart beating somewhere in my head, and i was PISSED. i thought i was going to pass out. because it’s like you said - she didn’t care, and that was almost like proof. she went to sleep thinking nothing of anything. mindless. after weeks of lecturing her, after her constant presence in my life, all that time. after years of her fucking around w other drugs and finally finding stability only to slip for less than a month bc of some fucking man, only to lose her entire life to a mistake - it’s inexplicable. i can sit here and write to you about it but i still cant’t fathom it. how she didn’t give a fuck, or she couldn’t see the situation clearly enough to. and now i’m living this forever without her. now i have to take care of my mother alone. now i’ve lost my best friend. and she lost everything. she was a whole person, she would’ve had years left and she deserved to. and the only reason she didn’t is because she couldn’t fuckin accept how much she was worth, how much life was worth so she gambled w death. what i’m saying is i understand that in a way, maybe a selfish way, i don’t know -  it almost feels mocking. because we’ll never know if they realize what they’ve done. after she died that’s all i could repeat out loud in the shower. i kept saying: you don’t know what you’ve done. idiot, stupid girl. shit like that. every time i tried to talk to her, it was a lecture. so yeah. it is very very normal to be pissed off and bitter dude. it is not easy or fair to be left behind. it’s all a normal part of grief. losing it entirely is the whole thing because honestly what else can you do.

i could be wrong but. unfortunately i think all of these emotions, in the context of you, stem from the fact that it is easier to care for others than it is to care about yourself. you’re not bothered about yourself dying because you don’t have the same love for yourself that you had for the one who passed. you don’t see yourself as important in that way. i don’t know what happened to make you feel like that. maybe whatever it was lead you to use drugs n alcohol to escape in the first place. maybe you think you not mattering is some sort of universal truth, but it’s not. it’s a belief you constructed either out of pain or as a trauma response that you’ve clung onto so much that you’ve convinced yourself it’s reality. it’s clear you’re going through an insurmountably difficult time, and i know words on a screen aren’t going to change that. i wont pretend to get it first hand. i just want you to know that the same way you wish your friend had realized the worth in their life before it was too late, that same anger born from frustration and sadness - that’s how a lot of people likely feel about you. and i know you don’t care about hurting them w your death because you don’t care about anything. your friend didn’t care, why should you, right? but that’s how the cycle perpetuates. and you’re the one who has to live with this all now, stuck here or not. try to periodically and consciously recognize how fucked up and permanent grief is. you don’t want to be the one to cause it. not really. not when you can see it for what it is and you have the option to prevent it. you are here no matter how much you wish not to be. you do deserve to find substantial peace, stability and good health while you still can. that’s non negotiable. even if it takes a fucking life time getting there.

i completely understand that it is all far easier said than done. that you have to be the one who is willing to reach out for help and to really stick w a plan but. i guess i just hope you know that the option will always be waiting for you when you are willing to seek it out. whether it’s through a hotline, rehab, your doctor, your friends and family, 2 hours without using or drinking. any step in the right direction is commendable. you are absolutely more resilient than you realize. more in general than you realize. you’ve had to deal with so much, just the most unimaginable things, and you’re still here. i know that’s because you feel you have no real choice in the matter, back to being trapped here. but nonetheless you’re making it. you can learn to treat yourself w the same regard that you treated your friend. you can learn to care about what happens to you. you can slowly make a home out of what you currently see as a jail.  through talking, through implementing healthier coping mechanisms into your daily life, through building a support system, through confronting and processing how much it hurts, through finding the clarity that comes with progress. all the things your brain wants you to write off. addiction and mental illness are genuine health concerns that require long lasting therapy and treatment just like any other ailment. and maybe the point is to learn to live with them, rather than to cure them entirely. but they are not a death sentence (and that is a good thing), and they are not the entirety of you. you are just currently very overwhelmed by them, understandably so.  excuse me if this is all sounds like naïve bullshit, but maybe some day you will be able to take some of it on board if you can’t right now. anyway, it sounds cliche as fuck, but every day that you’re alive you’re keeping your friend’s influence on this world alive too. you were shaped by them, in more ways than you realize. and they’re here in more ways than we realize too. not necessarily ghosts, at least imo. but just around. and in your head, in the universe. i am rooting for you so much and i hope you can accept that even if it all feels like lies, it’s ok to treat yourself w kindness. any attempt is good enough. sending a lot of love your way. please take care of yourself as much as possible. please consider your needs and your well being while you still have the choice to. sorry to go all 90s drug prevention ad on you btw, but u know me. i’m incapable of shutting up and minding my business abt this sort of thing lol

[weishenkun]

Ppl were saying fendi only invited ten and they stuck lc there but what about yy? Iirc he was there too so they put him there on purpose as well or they won’t mention him because he’s not the one in trouble here? I’m not trying to give an attitude but if it sounds of it I’m really sorry. Idk there’s so much back and forth and ngl to that hardcore cbar fan and revealing all that info, if you saying he was such an a-hole throughout his entire career you didn’t bother leaving his fandom earlier and saying nothing? Idk that really irks me that this only came out because of what has been happening. Idk if you agree with me but I want to rant and I have so much to rant about but idk who to turn. Everything is being picked about from the littlest thing he has done or said and ppl are saying those interviews the 3 groups he in esp wayv ones have done were they praise him all must be fake. We don’t know his side of the story and in honest truth we will never know because how these things are handled through the west and Asian entertainment is so different. But I have I guess I have some reservations about what one of the victims said because of apparently who she is and it has made me think about some things. I still believe he was wrong for some of the things he has done because he needs to understand cheating and manipulation isn’t good. Idk idk idk my heart is heavy and people using this as a lololol ahahah moment to his fan community hurts too like going on and on how all along he was a douche and they always knew and we didn’t. And honestly I feel like there has been so much bandwagon hopping on the hate train because before this most ppl apart from the wayv fandom didn’t give a two cent shit about wayv. They never cared when sm mistreated them or that they got scrapings and were not treated like how 127 or dream were treated. But suddenly everyone who has never cared is up and arms about him in the group because when wayv is going to do their next projects I want to see if all these ppl are going to be cheering them on as loud about you cheering on about what’s going on currently. like I can guarantee you won’t watch an interview or stream their music. And there has been this post going around about what was revealed yesterday and it was about that cat and someone said to the girl well he didn’t give you the cat cause you ain’t his fav and she’s like go ask him on bubble cause that wasn’t what he told me yesterday and idk what it even means because everyone is jumping on it and going lololol he’s still in contact after the apology. Idk she had said it sarcastically and Idk if she’s being truthful or not but everyone is adamant he is still doing all this regardless. And honestly IF he did do that and you let him contact you like that i feel like it’s on her esp since everything has been going on for days. He was dumb for all of this and rn his entire career isn’t surviving so I can’t even tell if she is serious or not and given how this is going on I can’t imagine his devices not being taken away from him cause that’s dumb or someone watching him like a fucking hawk cause I would. Cause on top of everything ppl are saying he mistreats the animals/pets and it’s like wtf is going on?! Oh And with the surfing coach confirming they didn’t flirt but were just friendly, you could have said something earlier but did nothing for hours until you were asked directly because everyone was saying she’s number 5 but apparently in reality she wasn’t but you let it go on. Everything is plaguing me rn and I have so much more to talk about but I’m just so frustrated.

okay this is a long ask so let me just go through each point

1. i saw the fendi story and yeah, yangyang was there too but people are more 'forgiving' towards him cause hes not badmouthing other members like allegedly lucas is. also, labelv was basically trying to get more members into the thing than the organizer originally wanted to, so yangyang, since hes less popular, is pretty logical but lucas? really? he had his own shit almost always so what was the point

2. about that hardcore cbar fan, true, they did only come out with the rant after the stories came out but like they said - they were a hardcore fan. probably theres some money involved or even it was just ignoring stuff cause youre a fan. we did know about most of the things they mentioned, it was just over a long period of time so there were big gaps between each of the incidents and people forgot? idk

3. i agree, there's been a lot of analysis of every little thing he did, but like i said earlier - it was happening over a long period of time and people were blaming it on idk, the culture or the lack of knowledge of some language. now, when theres a chance it could be something more, because of the alleged badmouthing, people will bring that stuff up 🤷‍♀️

4. he had a chance to say something in the apology letter. he said literally nothing instead :D

5. there has been a lot of bandwagon hopping on the hate but theres also been a lot of just straight up ignoring everything. i saw a fan acc on twitter share a list of translators so the fans could block those, cause they've been spreading false news 🤡 like, he was trending for days so people will get interested in whats going on and they will have opinions, thats how world works. and yeah no one will give a single fuck about future wayv project for example but i just hope it will be because they wont care and not because there wont be any future wayv projects :DDDD cause wayv was never big lol, lets be realistic, and this scandal isnt helping them at all and also the fact its happening right when there's that social media/fans campaign going on, i think its even worse :D

6. the bubble thing... labelv isnt the brightest so idk if its that unrealistic. and i think theres the other girl who also said he was calling them non stop when they released their story so idk idk lol

7. wheres the cat :/ we all saw the pic of him getting it, i think i reblogged it with something like 'omg omg ot11 soon' lmao and we havent seen it ever since. it is weird, just like in general. i want to know wheres the cat

8. the coach 🤡🤡🤡 idk idk her story was weird but i think it made another person release their story so thanks i guess :DDD even if he didnt flirt with her, wow, omg, hes so brave for this, wow, bare minimum :)

okay i think i went through everything, thanks for letting me write a whole essay back to you, i will call it an english practice in my brain 😍

[divine-draws]

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy 

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage 

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle 

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him. 

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating. 

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other 

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but 

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated 

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition 

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him 

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES 

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????”  “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[kewltie]

the idea that bakugou katsuki, a war hero and the empire's hound, is a man of great stature and even fiercer reputation of a volatile powder keg yet quite frankly so freaked out by izuku, HIS OWN HUSBAND, attempt of playing footsie that he broke a table IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME!! katsuki spend so long giving himself to his country and ppl and that HE literally had NO TIME for romance or like consider any romantic entanglement let alone think of the husband he left behind while he chase after new adventures; so yea he's a goddamn virgin lmao.

even when he's back home now his job as the empire's hound (which basically taking on tasks too dark and secretive that nobody can touch) means he running around the slums of the city to catch baddies so he's constantly hanging around other lowlifes SO HE GOT A BAD REPUTATION. a scoundrel and rake is what the rumors say about him and they all sigh pitifully when they spot izuku bc poor izuku, to have such a terrible no good husband hang around brothel houses :((( WHICH IS FUCKING FUNNY bc katsuki is devout in his marriage vows and also hello VIRGIN!! not that anyone know that, NOT EVEN IZUKU bc believe in katsuki's honor in their marriage but HE HEARD THE RUMORS and katsuki does keep v beautiful friends around (they're his informants lol) so izuku thought katsuki used to play around but now that's married he doesnt and wont.

so izuku GOT INTO HIS HEAD that katsuki is ~experience~ and prob had like a hundred lovers in the past while izuku is virginal and chaste and BORING so he tries v v hard to learn how to a good lover which means taking advice from racy romance books from his book club lmao. look, izuku is a quirk learner and HE'S always open to new experience and he's going to be a good husband and lover ok!!!!! so he's taking lesson to try to seduce katsuki and get his interest but he's so new at this he's afraid katsuki will laugh a him and find him lacking... so when he heard katsuki was hanging around one of the most famous oiran, a super high class prostitute, izuku IS SO JEALOUS bc how can izuku compare to such a beautiful and talented being??? so he thought he ramps up his game and tried for a footsie W KATSUKI BUT ????!!!

katsuki's reaction isn't to laugh and/or tease him about it but BROKE A DAMN TABLE as he reeled back and looked at him in shock and horror and izuku IS SOOO CONFUSED like???? did he do something ??? is that not how you play footsie??? OMG did he embarrassed himself?!! izuku thought he didn't come on strong enough, that his game was just too weak that it drove katsuki away which make izuku even more determine to be better next time! esp when he had the idea to meet up with the oiran and take a personal lesson on seducing his hubby lol. not knowing AT ALL that katsuki was internally SCREAMING ABOUT IT bc izuku, his super traditional and proper husband, just fucking ran his foot up katsuki's THIGH and he's did it all coolly like HE'S NOT FEELING KATSUKI UP UNDER THE TABLE AND AS;DJFAS;DJF. look, they're both dumb virgins who think the other is like some experience lover when in truth neither of them HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE AT ALL and they really aren't equipped to deal with any attempt of seduction/flirtation properly even though THEY'RE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!!!

i love the idea of clothes and accessories acting as symbolism and a state of mind. it's a constant theme in a lot of my fics - how and what you dress can set the tone of the entire space you occupied, sending a wordless message out into the world.

izuku normally dressed in traditional kimono all his life but when he left the countryside and moved into the city to be with katsuki where western influence have taken roots and many new western trends are popular right now, izuku starts to adapt and fashion is one of them. the shift from izuku's kimono to a western dress and pantsuits parallels his shift in perspective from the tradition views he hold and to new ideas brought by his new environment. though it doesn't mean everything old and tradition are bad while new things are all good!! izuku loves his kimonos and there's a history that come with them as they are handmade custom and pass down within his family so there's a lot of meanings and legacy to these old kimonos; news thing may offer a better insight but there's still a lot of value in tradition. like how in the first scene izuku decide to change his whole wardrobe to meet katsuki for lunch and how formal and austere he dressed, changing his demeanor as though he's putting on an armor. it's the way they make him feel stronger and confident that he may not feel otherwise. in that moment he fell back into his kimono, something he had known and grown up with all his life so it's the most comfortable for him and hold him up even when his doubts and insecurity weigh him down. this is the armor he chosen to wear when he's about to go to battle. the type and color of the kimono he wore, the way his hair is pinned and a certain hair accessory, and the mortif sewn into the kimono are all signs of his mood and how each is like a plate of armor on top of each other, layer and by layer building up his confident.

izuku lacks confident that much is clear esp when he'd pretty up uproot his whole life to move to the city to be with katsuki and uphold his place as katsuki's husband. he knows he's lacking in this strange new environment so his only defense mechanism is to fall back on old ways. izuku wants to be firm when he see katsuki and by dressing in that austere and cold formality of the kimono with dark colors and phoenix motif his message is that he wont be subdued by w/e katsuki say; and he says it w/o ever having to say a single word :P

izuku is really obsessed w being a good spouse, omega, and fulfilling his duty bc that's all he has ever been taught and that's how he measure his own worth. if he's not being upholding the honor and prestige of the background household,,, what use is he then? he's so desperate to be that 'good spouse' who doesn't complain, who doesnt question, and who doesn't fail at any task given to him that he come off as this unfeeling and obedience doll who only know how to stay faithful at his husband's feet which isn't izuku at all. we know he's endlessly curious, ravenous for knowledge and new ideas, reckless to a fault, and so v v v kind that it can hurt him but those aren't necessary quality for a spouse of a future duke so he squashed it and put up pretense of a more poise, charming, and compose person. which few even see through his mask BUT ofc katsuki eventually does and he hates when izuku puts up a front and hide his true feelings from him and that's where their first argument come from. IZUKU BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT HIM and katsuki telling to GET MAD, YELL AT HIM, ETC he rather izuku be real with him then having to face this smiling doll who only know how to carefully chose his words and say things he doesnt really mean when he want izuku to poke and prod and get angry and emotional at him bc he knows underneath that smile is a cat w claws lol. at the end of it izuku only wants to be included in katsuki's world bc his job is v v v important to him and to be on the outside and hearing rumors and stories of what katsuki is doing and not actually a part of it hurts izuku deeply bc they're married and in this together!! katsuki prefers to keep izuku from the ugly side of his job bc well it's dangerous and there's a unsightly things he doesnt want izuku to see and/or exp but izuku, wants to bear katsuki's burden too so he doesn't have to go at this alone!! marriage is partnership after all.

it's an interesting dynamic of where izuku keeps pushing more from katsuki and katsuki being a closed of jerk about it trying to keep a distance bc he has no time to entertain a relationship bc OF HIS V IMPORTANT JOB even tho they're already marry but izuku is persistence lol. they're going to keep this whole push and pull dynamic till one of them give which is going to be long ass time bc they're both stubborn lol but izuku didn't literally MOVED HIS ENTIRE life to be w katsuki to settle just for marriage w him, he's going to win katsuki's heart also!