#powered through my 2 year art block just to contribute to this project.

[mananea]

Happy 20th, D.Gray-man! Thank you, Hoshino-sensei for the heart break that keeps breaking into smaller and smaller pieces <3

This is my contribution for the @dgm20thproject a re-imagining of the first volume of D.Gray-man!

Please view, reblog, and support the full zine here!

[peribug]

New Moon Tarot Reading

I love love love my tarot cards they feel like an extension of myself. I started This past new moon with all 3 of my decks to see what I'm working with for the next month of growth and soul-searching.

The New Moon in Leo on August 4th- A big time for manifesting growing and confidence

The first deck I pulled from is Mystic Mondays The Cosmic Creatures Deck I love Mystic Mondays and the decks I've seen from them. The artwork is beautiful, and the guidebook is very well-written and helpful when you need further information about the cards. I pulled 2 cards from this deck

The Duck - Safety, Comfort, Community

"Allow yourself to feel vulnerable and share your feelings with your community you are more supported than you realize" ( hey guys that's you !!!) " Entanglements and confrontations can easily affect you, as you have a soft spirit and a big heart. It's important to maintain boundaries to keep your head above water! The duck can both swim and fly, paddling on the ripples of emotions to then soar into freedom of the sky. Explore your emotional world and get comfortable there. The duck tends to stay in its comfort zone which is where you feel safe. The sky will always be there when you're ready to fly"

I feel very connected to this card. Recently I've been expanding my stretch zone and trying new things. Living more in the moment, spending money on experiences, and Trying new things physically expressively, and creatively. Finding a place where I feel the best. I don't know how sustainable this lifestyle/ mindset is, but I'm really happy about it I've been going to concerts at least once a month, working more than ever, hanging out with friends after, planning trips, writing, painting, gardening. I'm just as tired as I was when I was doing nothing for months but at least I'm living again so I call this a big when. my next step is to fix my sleep and my comfort.

The Raven- Shadow, Unconscious, Deep work.

"Know as the "Keeper of Secrets," the raven asks you to look within so you can break through blocks and catapult your way into ultimate liberation. The shackles that hold you back are of your own making and as you become aware of what has been weighing you down you gain an opportunity to rise above." " You are guided by a powerful force to align your willpower with your intentions to ascend through the portal and to make a lasting contribution to the timeline of your existence. Get ready to fly"

I love how the duck card felt like step one " when you are ready to fly" and step two with the raven " get ready to fly". I've been wasting most of my potential for the past few years spending all of my energy worrying/ being mildly anxious. I love being creative but this past year every time I've started a project I've become anxious about it being a waste of time or not good enough to be worth it, or I wouldn't start the project until I ironed out all the details so i had a plan to make it perfect. This mindset is a new and unwelcome one in my mind. Within the past 2 years, I've seen my artist's eye get slowly overtaken by a judgmental one. ( only of my own art of course). I used to chase every idea I had and it was beautiful. Now I chase none because they aren't perfect yet and so I do nothing. When I came to this realization the first solution that came to mind was to chase every idea well that is extremely difficult when you are the rustiest you have ever been. My next solution, and the one I am on now is alternative methods and collaborative projects. I started by merging projects that could build off of each other together and let them grow naturally. Then I talked to my sister about writing a DnD campaign for our friends. Having a few people to spitball ideas with is a game-changer.

The Next deck I pulled from was my Fairies Oracle deck wisdom and magic from folktales around the world. I love this deck and how it draws me to read more about folktales and myths from around the world and puts them into the context of my life. I pulled 3 cards

Flow, Containing Multitudes.

Flow- Gwragedd annwn Are fairies of Welsh folklore who live beneath lakes. Lean into all things water both literally and spiritually. Channel the qualities that are associated with the Element of water like fluidity openness to change or going with the flow.

Containing multitudes- Yaksha of Indian mythology protectors over nature. described both as beautiful and benevolent. Allow yourself to contain multitudes. others may try to put you in a box but you know you are many things all at once. be a mystery to others as well as yourself."

These 2 cards are so loud for me. Even tho I am an earth sign water is my everything I love sitting in creeks spending days on the river and swimming in the lake. water is where I feel at home, and free, and I can be myself. transitioning use into the next card. I've consistently struggled with my sense of self. Not because I don't know who I am or what I like but because I don't know how to show people me or how much of me to show. I passionately love the things I love and I know that's too much for someone I just met or I feel that I don't love that thing enough to say I enjoy it. like I'm not outdoorsy enough to be outdoorsy. IF YOU LIKE THE OUTDOORS YOU ARE OUTDOORSY I DON'T CARE HOW FAR YOU HIKE.

My last deck is the Mystic Monday Tarot deck. The love of my life. My first deck. My pride and joy!!!! We love her.

Nine of Swords- The past - Anxiety, Worry, Distress

To say I feel so heard by some cards sounds so funny and so sweet. " You've managed to manifest your worries by constantly thinking about the worst-case scenarios, creating anxiety and stress" "Fear and doubt are paralyzing you from moving forward with endless "what ifs" I was an anxious mess a few months ago, overwhelmed, over worked, and far away from any support system. I truly was stopping myself from moving forward because I was so scared about what could happen because I already didn't like what was happening.

Queen of Swords- Present- Clever, Meticulous, Intellectual

If I let my big emotions block the critical thinking side of my brain it'll lead to messy journeys and wasted energy moving forward. take a step back from the emotions and focus on the goal.

VIII Strength- Near Future- Fierce, Endurance, Courage

Master your impulses and take responsibility for yourself and your actions. With this power of self-control, you will be able to approach your problems powerfully and gracefully.

Reversed Ace of Wands - take away- Vague, ambiguous, Irresolute

The call for action is moving through you but you are unclear about which direction to go, feeling unmotivated and uninspired. Desires and passions are ambiguous and you are beginning to question what really sets you on fire. Now is the time to explore and figure out what you really care about and where your passions lie." And this is how we ended up here this tarot reading led me to post more regularly on here to see what happens and help keep track of where I'm succeeding or struggling

[sophiesicelebblog]

Week 12: Street Art

This was such a cool, interactive, inspiring topic for the week; I especially found the TED talk from JR (below) particularly moving! These 'dialogues in the margins' can impact public discourse by creatively bringing complex social issues to our attention in a way that invites dialogue. In my opinion, by bringing some culture and artistic joy to our streets they also open us up in ways that we might not even be able to articulate, as all kinds of art do, bringing us all a little closer together. A wonderful example of this is JR's project, "Face 2 Face," also detailed in the video below.

In terms of my own personal experience, I've never made my own protest sign, but admittedly I did graffiti a few times one night after the presidential election in 2016. I was devastated by the result and, on a whim, a friend and I spray painted "I'm (Still) With Her" in a few places downtown (NOT on top of anyone else's artwork!). I think we just felt like the country had let us down, and that small act of rebellion made us feel powerful and heard for one night, at least. I'd be too scared to get caught now to do it again, however, and I appreciate the bravery of those who take the risk to make such beautiful spaces for us.

Now, it's photo time! I'm lucky to live in the Lower East Side, where there is a ton of street art to be seen. Admittedly, I have taken it for granted in recent months-years, barely noticing it most days as I speed through the neighborhood from one errand to another. I clearly needed the reminder to not only look up and appreciate the beauty around me, but also listen to what the walls (and the artists behind them) have to say.

I took this photo on the corner of Grand St and Norfolk, at the entrance to the Seward Park Community Center (a.k.a. the Child and Family Center). I was inspired to take this because it's so colorful and whimsical! Here we see a mural of a clown on the gate entrance to the left (I especially love how the artist incorporated the grates into the classic red clown wig) and children climbing a playground under the watchful eye of adults below on the right corner. I think this is such a fun and welcoming piece to have in the community, where there is a lot of cultural, ethnic, and socioeconomic diversity; this mural seems to lovingly welcome all to the shared community space.

The artist is named Carla Torres (IG: @carlisimaultra). I've never seen her work before, but a scan of her social media shows that her work involves vibrant colors and emphasizes community and beauty in diversity, which is clearly also reflected in the mural above!

I took this photo just right down the block from the first piece, on the corner of Essex and Grand. This piece is by Hektad (IG: @hektad._official), who is a well-known street artist, and one of only a couple that I already knew of beforehand, so I definitely wanted to include something from him in this photo collection. You can see a common theme for his work: lots of hearts! It always puts a smile on my face when I see his work, which I think is largely the point. In regards to what I think he contributes/what he's trying to say, I think Hektad says it best himself: "It (art) is not always about the money. I just want to show the world to love art, love each other, and to spread all of that. To the other artists, we share that same idea of showing our love for art, so why not spread that love and work together to inspire others? Let's get that message across" (https://www.theunoppressed.com/hektad).

I took this photo of a sticker on the ground on the corner of Orchard and Grand because honestly I just thought it looked cool! She looks powerful yet somehow glamorous in a spacesuit made of what appears to be zippers. The artist is named Mike Raz (IG: @m1keraz), and he's another on the list that I haven't seen before. I think what makes this cool in a way is that he sells these stickers on his website (https://mikeraz.com/stickers), so it's impossible to know if he placed this himself or if someone else did. I just love the potential for artistic collaboration here for non-artists and people who live in the community!

Ok, this one I truly just wanted to post because I'll be moving away from New York at the end of next month after 14 years living here, and while I'm excited, I'm starting to feel sentimental about leaving as well. There's no artist name attached to this small tile, placed on Broome St between Eldridge and Chrystie, simply saying, "NEW YORK OR NOWHERE," but I like the mystery of not knowing who it is. New Yorkers have such a reputation for being strong and sticking together, which was so acutely felt during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and this makes me think of that big-time. I'll carry that love for New York with me always.

This mural by Buff Monster is on the corner of Broome and Chrystie. Buff Monster's work (IG: @buffmonster) is so identifiable from his signature style: bright colors, whimsical cute monsters that are goopy/dripping with huge eyes. My partner loves Buff Monster, so I started noticing his artwork a lot! I think he brings such a playful energy that we (perhaps New Yorkers particularly) really need, living in the "concrete jungle" that is so frequently grey.

I have walked past this mural of Rosario Dawson on a water tower atop the corner of Bowery and Spring St for such a long time, but I never knew who made it. I did some Googling after photographing it and discovered it was actually done by a well-known artist discussed in the lecture notes this week: Shepard Fairey! The mural, entitled Power and Equality, is meant to symbolize women's empowerment, and Dawson was chosen as the subject because she's from the neighborhood and the city wanted to honor and thank her for her activism. (See here for closer views of the mural: https://news.artnet.com/art-world/shepard-fairey-bowery-rosario-dawson-mural-1611340)

I took a photo of this collage mural on the corner of Allen St and Stanton. Made by artist Brittany DiMauro (IG: @eternalpossesions), it depicts the protagonist of The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood's dystopian story set in a future where women have no rights, featuring magazine cutout-appearing letters writing "Blessed be my basic human rights," a play on the chilling greeting in the novel, "Blessed be the fruit," in which babies/fetuses are more valued than the women carrying them. I wanted to include this because I noticed it was put up after Roe v. Wade was overturned, so this feels like a timely warning for us. The mixture of modern text with a classic frame, to me, speaks to how this patriarchal attitude towards women feels like it's from the past, yet it really is happening now. I haven't seen their work before, but I followed them on Instagram and will definitely be keeping an eye out for more of them in the future!

[thelifedocumentor]

Justice Mukheli On Telling Authentic African Stories Through Art

Justice Mukheli is a film director, photographer, and artist. Through his visual storytelling, he takes viewers through a journey of African stories that embody truth, power, and beauty. He documents everyday South African experiences through his lens which makes his art feel like home. It is evident that Justice Mukheli is rooted in his heritage as he draws inspiration from his upbringing in Soweto to enrich his work. Whether he is capturing on film or digital – his photography is full of soul, which can be seen through the eyes of his subjects. Art becomes a conduit for Mukheli to heal, breathing life into untold stories and contribute towards moving the African culture forward.

From working as an Art Director at Draft FCB to being a Commercial Director for Romance Films TV, how Justice Mukheli has constantly elevated himself through a plethora of creative mediums is truly inspiring. During our catchup in Rosebank over coffee, I learned more about his journey from advertising to art, how he achieved his tremendous success as well as his new path of being appointed the Commercial Director at one of the best production companies in the world, Romance Films TV.

1. How did growing up in Soweto inspire your vision of storytelling? 

Growing up in Soweto inspired me in a lot of ways that are beyond the storyteller I thought I would become. The way we grew up and being a child at the time, Soweto was amazing. There was a freedom that kids don’t have – now that my life is this side of the world. Maybe on a weekend, I would just wake up and leave the house at 7 o’clock and go explore with my friends, come back before the sunsets. And it would be either from going to catch locust in the bush or creating our soccer field somewhere in the bush corner or playing under tunnels. We used to get under tunnels and walk. For example, we would get into a tunnel here, go through the tunnel, and get out in Bryanston. They were like a maze. There were so many activities as a kid. My childhood was amazing with memories and my parents were amazing. I was very close to my dad for the time he spent with us, close to my mum. She used to bake, we used to help her bake and knit. There was so much available to entertain me as a kid growing up in Soweto. There were these older gentlemen, friends of my uncles who dressed up incredibly beautiful and you grow up seeing that and aspiring to that. The car culture, sneaker culture, fashion culture – there was just so much.

2. What are some of the unforgettable childhood experiences you believe shaped who you are today?

When I get work or need to do or tell a story, I have a huge bank of resources and stories to borrow from, to look back into. I become excited about how I can bring those lived experiences into life, into the story I was trying to get. As a commercials director, when I get a brief most of the time, I look back there in my bank of memories. Have I experienced something like this? My latest commercial is about a funeral plan – this old man leaving his last message to his wife. So when I got briefed, it became immediately clear to me that I have experienced this. The point of view might have been different because I was a child but I can remember all those moments when my grandmother lost my grandfather and what happened and the nuance in how she was and how she dealt with the nuance of my culture and how we deal with loss. That was a huge and most incredible resource to go look into as a source of inspiration and borrow from. To breathe that experience into that piece so that it feels authentic. As a filmmaker and artist, we recreate moments and it’s in how close to reality we get. That’s my tool. It’s what I use all the time.

3. You recently joined Romance Films TV as a commercials director. How do you feel about this new path?

I am beyond excited about it. I wrote on my Instagram post that I have been inspired by Romance Films TV before I even thought that I would be a filmmaker. From 2009, when I got into advertising, I remember they would say to us when you write your advert you must write it for Grey Gray to take your script, to even consider shooting your ads for you. Grey Gray is a founding partner for Romance Films TV. He is incredible. He is an incredible storyteller. We used to write these ads and send them to their company. We would cross fingers that he considers our script. Unfortunately, when I was still in advertising I never got to work with him. Maybe our scripts were not good enough. It is exciting that the loop closed. I am excited to learn from them. There is Terence Neale who is incredible, he works mostly internationally. His ads are breathtaking, such as the ad he did for Beats by Dre. I have known them and had a friendship with them for a long time. It feels right to have joined them now because I have gained my own experience. I have scrabbled, built myself and built my confidence. I have proved that I can be a filmmaker. Now it’s amazing that I am part of a team that I have reached to be a part of for the longest time.

4. From working as an Art Director to being a Commercial Director, how did you navigate the transition from advertising to art and how did you own that space?

The transition was relatively easy. And I say this because advertising is an incredible teacher. Marketing teaches you how business works, positioning, and what you need to do to get a product to a certain target audience. I saw myself as a product when I started my journey as a photographer. Like okay cool, I’m a photographer. How do I get myself seen by those I want to book me? I had to build a portfolio using knowledge from advertising. I was in advertising for 7 years before I transitioned. My understanding of the industry helped my transition work seamlessly because I knew what to do. I knew the power of a portfolio, I knew how to get myself in front of the target audience that I need to book me. Owning the space was putting in the work and understanding what is needed to get myself to a position where I am considered or seen as someone interesting in my field or someone who has a different point of view or a different way of doing things. That is part of owning the space and creating work that is unapologetically my voice. And in the same vain, answering the client’s brief and aligning the brand with its target audience. And aligning the brand where marketers intend to get to. I make sure that my work is an extension of what my clients need. As a film director, I am a part of the chain.

Your voice is your own lived experience. For example, when I got briefed on Hollard, there were 2 other directors. There were 3 of us. It’s always important that I borrow from my lived experiences because it will be a unique point of view, a unique point of departure. After all, all the other directors will also come from their point of view, understanding, or lived experiences. That’s how they work and when I present my treatment it will unapologetically be me. It will have my voice, tone, and feels. With Hollard, the way I saw and experienced my grandmother grieve for my grandfather is unique to me. So I reconstructed and rebuilt that world from how I saw it.

5. In terms of your photography, what qualities must a subject have for it to be captivating enough for you to capture it?

For me, it’s not about aesthetic qualities, it’s about the feeling I get from the eyes. It’s not an aesthetic thing. It’s mostly eyes and the feeling that I am trying to capture. My creative process is led by feeling rather than an idea. The idea is secondary to me. For me, the important thing is how does it make me feel. I have always felt that advertising teaches us that “idea is king” and I agree. But for me, the feeling is more important than an idea because you can get an idea but it doesn’t move you. The feeling is more important to me. Sometimes I use to gravitate towards kids a lot because it was a process for me to unpack my other lived experiences - emotions I never got to deal with acknowledge or immerse myself in. Sometimes when we go through what we go through, we are not present enough to go through the emotions of it and deal with it. Photography and film have become a tool I use as therapy for myself. I can tap back into a moment that is important to me and I deal with it, and I can capture that feeling.

6. In your tremendous career, which would you say are your favorite works that you have produced and why?

I love the Ingrams advert and the Hollard advert. There is an advert I have created for South African Tourism, it has a slightly different tone than the ads I am creating now. It was about portraying black people experiencing their land on these spaces that are mostly enjoyed by white people but enjoying them their way. I quite like the advert.

7. The advertising industry in South Africa has transformed in terms of how black culture is represented, however so much work still needs to be done to move the culture forward. What do you think agencies can do better in this space?

Agencies still fall into the mistake of not being mindful of black stories by black people, or at least having black collaborators in the chain of those stories being told. I think the industry very quickly falls into thinking that “ALL LIVES MATTER” type of mentality, that creative is creative. “What makes you think that just because I am a white person I won’t be able to tell a story in a sensitive way?”. I don’t think that’s the conversation. I think the conversation is telling the story most authentically and mindfully. I think advertising needs to create space for black narratives to be inclusive of black people from the process of creating it.

8. If you ever feel a creative block during a project, how do you reconnect and channel your energy?

I have a lot of creative resources and creative outlets. If my photography is struggling, I am going to paint. Now, I have decided that I want to paint again because I am not so inspired photographically. I am going to start to paint more. If directing or my other outlets are struggling, I can make music or I can sculpt, or I can write. I have a lot of outlets.

9. Which creative materials inspired you on your overall journey? It could be a film, book, exhibition, documentary, or anything?

It was a book by Malcolm Gladwell called Outliers. It speaks of the 10 000 hours rule and it touches on the people who are amazing that we love and follow. The people who inspire us decided to put in the work, it didn’t happen by chance. That book taught me that whatever I want to be, I can be. I can make that happen, no one else. And it can never happen by mistake.

10. Which brands and artists would you like to collaborate with in the future?

I would love to work with Netflix. And in terms of artists, there is an artist I like called Sibusile Xaba. He’s really amazing. That’s who I would love to collaborate with.

11. And lastly, which words of advice would you give to young artists who aspire to manifest their dreams in this multifaceted creative industry?

My last words would be what I just said about what I got from the book, Outliers – what you want to be, only you can make happen. Great people are not just great by mistake. It just doesn’t happen to them. It was a choice. If you want to be amazing at something, you need to decide to be. It’s a process, it won’t happen overnight.

Image sources: https://www.justicemukheli.com/work Justice Mukheli Films: https://www.romancefilms.tv/directors/justice-mukheli

[toast-the-unknowing]

Hi there, toast. Cutting to the chase: you're one of my favorite writers — not just one of my favorite fanfic writers. your short stories for the raven cycle are some of the funniest, tightest, emotionally devastating, well-crafted works of fiction i've encountered in awhile — better than a lot """"real-world, published"""" stuff. I kind of want to know more about how you got to this point. I think you've mentioned a background in screenwriting? But I don't think that's your day job? 1/?

2/? Really, I'm asking because you seem to have found a way to write regularly — to develop your chops and publish your art in a way that seems emotionally satisfying for you. to an outsider like myself, you seem to have struck a balance between living a life that pays the bills, and artmaking in a way that feeds your soul. you might not feel that way, i don't know. i'm someone who studied writing in college and am now wondering if and how i can still water that seed....

3/? when the reality is i also need to make money to live. i guess i'm curious about your life model right now, and if you're happy with the way you're currently fulfilling yourself creatively. do you want to be a """""published writer""""" someday? is your job one that is also creatively fulfilling, or is it more to pay the bills so that you can do your own creative projects in your free time?

4/4 I know my question isn't very clear, and I'm not sure it's even one question. the point is, i admire you, and you seem to be in a habit of writing creatively, even though i think you have an unrelated day job, and that balance seems mysterious and desirable to me.

Thank you for your kind words, Anon! I have attempted to write something helpful, but it got very long, so I am putting it behind a cut:

Keeping your art alive when you have to work an unrelated job is not easy. Struggling with it does not mean that you're failing, or that it can't be done, or that you won't get better at it down the road. It's also not the sort of thing where you hit equilibrium and it's all smooth sailing from there. I have gotten better at fitting my writing into my life, and I've figured out strategies and coping mechanisms and how to be better at just making myself do it even if I feel "blocked," but there are still stretches of time where it's harder to manage. Those periods don't last forever, and if it sometimes gets worse, it also sometimes gets better.

I suspect you know all of this, Anon, because you sound like a reasonable person and because you balanced writing and schoolwork, which can itself be tricky. I say it anyway because this is exactly the kind of subject where mean little thoughts like to sneak into your head and make you doubt yourself, and I think we could all use a reminder.

There are many writers who will say that you have to write every single day. Often they will say that you have to write at the same time every single day, or that you need to wake up early to write before work. These writers depress and demotivate me, because I don't actually have a writing "habit" in that there's no schedule or daily goal or set of standards involved. Some days I write a lot and some days I don't write at all. Shaming myself about that fact has never been helpful.

What has been helpful: an increased understanding of my writing process. Realizing I don't have to outline? Helpful! Realizing that generating ideas and fleshing out scenes and shaping the arc of a story and making it pretty are all different skills and some days one comes easier than the others? Helpful! Realizing that I tend to have an "a-hah" moment that tells me what the story is about, after which it's easier to write the story? Helpful! Realizing that if I can't think of an adjective or a line of dialogue or a joke, I can just put an asterisk and come back to it later, instead of halting the entire writing process until I come up with it? Helpful!

I don't know if any of these particular things would be helpful to you, because your writing process probably works differently than mine. Somebody out there absolutely does need to outline before they can write, or so I assume from the fact that it is mandated in virtually every book on writing I have ever read. You studied writing in school, so it's possible that you already have a great understanding of your process; it's also possible you have internalized a lot of other people's ideas of what you're writing should look like. Most of what I know about how I write was learned in the last few years, not in school.

It is also possible that you have a good understanding of what your process looks like when that gets to be the thing that takes up the majority of your time. In which case, you probably need to consider your life and your schedule as it is now. I know, for example, that I don't get much writing done of weekend days where I stay in bed late, even though I still end up with more free time than I'd have on a weekday, so if I want to write on a weekend I need to get up. Are there any times of day, or the days of the week, or the places where it is easier to write? What factors make it harder to write? Can you minimize those factors? When you can't, because you livelihood depends on them, can you acknowledge them as a fact of life and forgive yourself for being affected by them?

It's unpleasant but undeniable that working impacts writing. We aren't able to spend the time we'd like to on writing. We don't have the energy and focus that we had in school, when our writing was our main responsibility. Now our primary responsibility is making enough money to survive, and if that makes us sad to think about, well, it's only going to make us sadder if on top of that we try to hold ourselves to the amount of writing we'd do if that weren't true.

It isn’t strictly a numbers game where more time = more writing, which I think can be reassuring for those of us who don’t get as much time as we’d like for writing. I was unemployed or working part-time for the entirety of 2016 and I did not do more writing in 2016 than I am now. I had more time, but I was much more of a mess, as a person, and I wasn't as dedicated to writing. In a counter-intuitive way, I think it can help to have creative outlets besides writing. It does take time away from something that you already don’t get as much time as you want to do, but it means that you have a place to be creative even when the words aren't coming, a place with less pressure and lower stakes. I've done improv pretty casually for the last couple of years, and aside from the fact that I think improv in particular can be extremely helpful for writers, it means that when I've been unhappy with my writing, I could show up to improv and do a silly voice or shuffle around in a crabwalk and know that I had created something.

These are some things that have helped me write while also working: Improv. Mindfulness about writing. Mindfulness about life in general. Prioritizing my writing (guys, I watch so much less television than I used to). Therapy and medication, to be honest. Remembering why I am excited about the projects that I’m working on. Giving myself freedom to start new stories while also encouraging myself to finish old ones. Having an audience to share things with, because it is hard to write without knowing that anyone will ever read what you are pouring so much of yourself into.

It has taken me a few days to answer this, Anon, because I wanted to give a considered response, and also just because adult life! so busy! I keep coming back to the questions of whether I am emotionally satisfied with the writing I am doing, and whether I have a good balance between my writing and my work. Because I really think that I am creatively satisfied right now, and if I am mostly aware of that most of the time, I don't know that I'd really phrased it like that to myself before. If I had then I had forgotten it. And it's a powerful and wonderful thing to be able to say that to myself.

I have a degree in screenwriting, but I have never made a career of it and am not pursuing one now. The dream used to be writing for television. Before that the dream was to be a traditionally published author. Now...I don't know what the dream is. I would like to do original work again some day. I have a novel in my head that is very important to me, whose characters helped me get through some hard times, and I want to give that novel the life that it deserves. I would like to do something with my screenwriting degree at some point, although it will likely never make me money. Sometimes it feels like failure that I don't have a new dream, and that I gave up on the old ones. But for the most part, for now, I'm very happy writing fanfiction. I've written a lot of stories, particularly in the last few years, that I am very proud of.

But I don't actually have a good balance between art and work, inasmuch as my art makes me happy and my work...doesn't. I have a low-level office job in a field that I'm not passionate about or well-suited for. I don't get out of my job a lot of the things that I do get out of writing -- challenge, investment, a chance to be creative, self-direction, fulfillment, purpose. I have never worked a job where I got any of those things, and it is starting to wear me down.

To be fair: "my job pays me a decent wage and gives me great health insurance but it isn't satisfying" is a privileged thing to complain about, and I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that some people handle these situations just fine, that some people don’t mind a job that demands a minimum of energy and time since that leaves them more to put into their art. You may be one of these people! I am discovering that I am not. Getting no sense of accomplishment from my job contributes negatively to my overall mental and emotional health, which is sucky all on its own, but has the additional effect of impacting my writing.

It's a tricky problem, though. I don't, at present, want to make a living off of writing (and such a career would be precarious), but my current resume and skill set doesn't qualify me for much of anything besides the work I'm already doing (thanks, screenwriting degree). Any attempt to find a job that's more fulfilling would likely involve a big investment of time, money, and/or effort in some kind of school and training, and then...I'd be in a job that demanded more from me, and even if it made me happier than my current job does, how much would that leave me to put into my writing?

I don't know if any of this has been helpful to you. It is perhaps not a clear answer to a question that felt clear when I read it but that my mind muddled up along the way. You may find that once you hit a balance between writing and working, you don't mind the day job grind in the same way I do. You may decide that you do want to pursue writing as a career. You may still be figuring out the employment situation at all and my woes may be worse than irrelevant.

But the timing of this ask is funny; I am soon going to apply to an educational program that would prepare me for a new career in a totally different field, and the thought of how this will impact my writing has very much been on my mind. In the past when I've thought about doing anything like this, that question has kept me from going forward: won't that be less of your time, less of your energy, less of you for your writing? I think this is a real concern with a basis in truth: if I get into this program I am going to have a lot less time and energy for anything outside of it, and I will need to again adjust my expectations of what my writing can look like in my circumstances. But I think that this question is also fear and perfectionism talking, using my writing as a weapon against me, and I'm tired of it.

Balance is a funny thing. I'm actually terrible at basically anything that requires balance: biking, rollerskating, gymnastics, ice skating, you name it. I don't see how anyone pulls it off. You can lean too far one way only to fall over the other way when you try to even out. You can take a turn and suddenly the road is uphill or downhill or bumpy, and whatever you were doing before to stay upright isn't cutting it. You can be going along just fine and then, for absolutely no reason, you're wobbling all over the place. But you can also do a hell of a lot of wobbling without ever falling down.

I think it's just about...paying attention to what's happening around you. Paying attention to what you're feeling and what you want. Not getting fooled by something you're supposed to want if you don't actually want it. Figuring out the things that you need, and the things that would make your life better, and the things that you'd like, and prioritize those accordingly.

I sure hope that's how it works, at least, because that's all I've got. I might royally fuck up my life in the next couple of months, but if I do, I'll adjust and keep going. It can't be any worse than fucking ice skating.

Best of luck, Anon.

[yasbxxgie]

N.W.A. was formed back between 1986 and 1987 with the original lineup consisting of Dr. Dre, Eazy-E & Arabian Prince. A 17 year old Ice Cube joined after his old groups Stereo Crew and C.I.A (Criminals In Action) with Kid Disaster (K-Dee) and Sir Jinx who Dr. Dre produced for both dissolved. Shortly afterward, MC Ren and DJ Yella entered the fold and in November 1987 Macola Records released and distributed N.W.A’s debut project on their independent label funded by local hood Eazy-E called Ruthless Records. At the time, Ice Cube was 18 years old and responsible for writing the songs that put the group on the map both locally and nationally, Eazy-E’s “Boyz-N-The-Hood” & “8 Ball” plus N.W.A.’s “Dopeman”.

In August 1988, N.W.A. who were less than satisfied with Macola’s handling of their material switched to Priority Records as a national distributor. They re-released “N.W.A. & The Posse” (not “Straight Outta Compton”) which immediately began moving units and entered the Billboard charts. They also released a new single “Gangsta, Gangsta” on Ruthless/Priority that garnered them even more attention and spread nationwide like wildfire. The song was once again, penned by Ice Cube. It was soon followed by one of the most influential songs in Rap history, “Fuck The Police”.

The next step was to release Eazy-E’s debut LP “Eazy-Duz-It” which was mostly written by MC Ren and The D.O.C. formerly of Fila Fresh Crew but featured contributions from Ice Cube on the aforementioned “Boyz-N-The-Hood”, “No More ?’s” and the spoken word album closer “Eazy-Chapter 8 Verse 10”. It was released in September 1988 and soon joined the re-released “N.W.A. & The Posse” on both the Top Black Albums and Billboard 200 charts, climbing them both at an impressive rate.

In February 1989, N.W.A.’s “Straight Outta Compton” was unleashed on the masses, its meteoric rise up the charts was powered by the Ice Cube penned pre-release singles “Gangsta, Gangsta” & “Fuck The Police” in addition to the single “Express Yourself” that got them some radio play with a video that landed on BET’s “Rap City” and MTV’s “Yo! MTV Raps”. “Express Yourself” featured Dr. Dre kicking rhymes written by Ice Cube and the single and video exposed N.W.A to a much wider audience and expanded their reach even further. Following the sales success of both albums, N.W.A. went on their Straight Outta Compton Tour then picked up some other dates later on but as the tours progressed Ice Cube kept close tabs on his publishing and royalties statements.

By Fall 1989, Ice Cube became frustrated with his situation at Ruthless Records and felt he wasn’t receiving his proper compensation for contributing to the empire Ruthless was becoming. By then, J.J. Fad was Gold, Eazy-E had gone Platinum, N.W.A. was certified Platinum and The D.O.C. had just received his Gold plaque. Cube noted that neither Priority nor Ruthless was spending an exorbitant amount of money on marketing or promotions, they typically sold via word of mouth thanks to the coverage they got in mainstream press as the poster children for “Gangsta Rap”, derived from the N.W.A. single “Gangsta, Gangsta” Cube made significant contributions to.

Ice Cube was 20 years old at the time, constantly butting heads with Jerry Heller and Eazy-E over his splits, points and his royalties from N.W.A’s back catalog in addition to Eazy-E’s. Rather than sign another contract with Ruthless that would no doubt result in Cube continuing being under compensated for his role in the group as well as other albums on the label, he instead opted to go solo. By December 1989, Ice Cube leveraged his value to Priority into a solo deal by telling them Def Jam was interested in signing him.

This resulted in Ruthless Records blocking Dr. Dre from producing Ice Cube’s upcoming debut on Priority Records so he contacted several people in New York in search of producers, among them being The Bomb Squad which he had preliminary talks with. Ice Cube traveled to New York in January 1990 with Sir Jinx heading for the Def Jam offices to meet with Sam Sever, one of the main producers of one of his favorite albums of 1989, 3rd Bass’ “The Cactus Album”.

Sam Sever never showed up for the meeting but by chance Ice Cube ran into Chuck D of Public Enemy who was in Def Jam’s offices handling some business. Ice Cube and Chuck D first became acquainted back in December 1988 when Public Enemy brought N.W.A. & Eazy-E along with them on the Bring The Noise Tour with Ice T, Stetsasonic & EPMD. Public Enemy was in the process of completing their album “Fear Of A Black Planet” and Chuck tells Cube he should come to Greene Street Studios tonight because they were going to record a song called “Burn, Hollywood, Burn” with Big Daddy Kane. Cube came through, recorded a short 4 bar verse and sounded at home over Bomb Squad production… the rest was history.

Ice Cube then spent time with Chuck D fleshing out what he wanted on the album in notebooks and Hank Shocklee of The Bomb Squad stressed that they wanted to make a concise body of work for him as opposed to a few tracks here and there. Next step involved Ice Cube and Sir Jinx spending a couple of weeks at Public Enemy’s pre-production studio and rehearsal space at 510 South Franklin Street in Hempstead, Long Island poring through a mountain of records.

After taking careful consideration of the many records at their disposal, Cube & Jinx selected Funk from Kool & The Gang, Commodores, Betty Davis, Steve Arrington, Funkadelic, Parliament, Sly & The Family Stone, Maceo & The Macks, Bar-Kays, The J.B.’s, Fred Wesley & The New J.B.’s and Zapp in addition to staple breaks from Bob James, Mountain, The Meters, The Turtles, ESG, Cerrone, Melvin Bliss, King Curtis, Lafayette Afro Rock Band, Kid Dynamite and Soul Searchers. Between Ice Cube, Sir Jinx, Hank & Keith Shocklee, Chuck D & Eric “Vietnam” Sadler we have all the ingredients necessary for a classic album.

After close to two full weeks of culling together sample material, additional loops, sounds and song ideas from a cassette tape Chuck sent Cube a month or so prior to him arriving in New York and having Eric “Vietnam” Sadler craft together a bunch of skeletons to work from they eventually moved from there to Greene Street Studios to begin the recording process. Ice Cube had notebooks full of rhymes, some originally intended for Eazy-E and future N.W.A. projects, the ideas he laid down with Chuck and now the beats (some of which were demos originally recorded by Son Of Bazerk and True Mathematics). All that was left was for the Bomb Squad’s mad scientists to put on their lab coats, safety goggles and gloves and try to make a timeless piece of art.

The album itself was created over a 4 week span by The Bomb Squad, Ice Cube & Sir Jinx. The Bomb Squad’s attentions were split between finishing “Fear Of A Black Planet”, putting finishing touches on Bell Biv DeVoe’s debut “Poison”, tour dates and working with other talent they were developing like Leaders Of The New School, Young Black Teenagers and Son Of Bazerk featuring No Self Control & The Band. It was rough going given the scheduling conflicts but eventually the team was able to finish the project. Everyone worked relatively quickly and the album was done, mixed and mastered by Howie Weinberg then was turned in by March 1990. Ice Cube wanted to deliver the album to Priority as soon as possible so it could beat the next N.W.A. project to market.

The album consists of 17 tracks, 3 of which are skits (“Better Off Dead”, “JD’s Gafflin’” & “The Drive-By”) and 3 more were short songs like “What They Hittin’ Foe?”, “I’m Only Out For One Thang” & “Get Off My Dick & Tell Yo Bitch To Come Here”. “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” had a few features on it, Chuck D on “Endangered Species (Tales From The Darkside)”, Flavor Flav on “I’m Only Out For One Thang” and Yo-Yo on “It’s A Man’s World”. Given Ice Cube’s track record for making misogynistic anthems, the first member from his crew to get a deal was Yo-Yo and his manager was a Black woman, Pat Charbonnet.

Yo-Yo’s verse on this album led to her getting signed to EastWest/Atlantic later on that year. The experience Sir Jinx & Ice Cube gained working on this album plus having The Lench Mob in tow gave them the foundation for Street Knowledge Music. Eventually it led to Ice Cube working with his own iteration of The Bomb Squad, The Boogie Men (DJ Pooh, Bobcat & Rashad) in concert with his road dawgs Sir Jinx & Chilly Chill.

Priority released a single from the upcoming album in April, “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” b/w “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” but there was no video and although the single was selling it wasn’t receiving any radio airplay. On May 15th, 1990 Ice Cube’s Bomb Squad helmed debut LP “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” finally hit store shelves. When it debuted on the Billboard charts it was #110 on the Top Pop Albums on June 2nd, 1990. The single “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was #2 on the Hot Rap Singles chart right behind Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke”.

To provide some context to the era, A Tribe Called Quest’s “People’s Instinctive Travels & The Paths Of Rhythm”, Public Enemy’s “Fear Of A Black Planet”, Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E.’s “New Funky Nation”, Audio Two’s “I Don’t Care: The Album”, Poor Righteous Teachers’ “Holy Intellect” & X-Clan’s “To The East, Blackwards” were all recent releases. By June 9th, 1990, “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” entered the Top Black Albums at #47 and jumped all the way up to #62 on the Top Pop Albums as the single occupied the #1 spot on Hot Rap Singles.

On June 16th, 1990 it leaped all the way up to #19 Top Black Albums and #27 Top Pop Albums while “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” b/w “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” remained the #1 Rap single for the 2nd week in a row. It occupied the top position on the Rap charts as #2 was Snap!’s “The Power”, #3 was Power Jam featuring Chill Rob G “The Power”, #4 was MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” and at #5 was Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke”. Ice Cube had just turned 21 and his first solo single was a #1 Rap hit in the age of MC Hammer & Pop/crossover Rap…

What makes this feat all the more impressive was Ice Cube’s single got little to no support at Black radio whereas all of the singles charting below it were. Nonetheless, Ice Cube’s single was still outselling all of the others while Priority was spending the bare minimum on their marketing campaign and promotional materials. The album was pretty much selling itself via word of mouth.

The subject matter on the album included some of the West Coast fare N.W.A. fans were used to from the same Ice Cube who made “A Bitch Iz A Bitch”. Songs like “The Nigga Ya Love To Hate”, “You Can’t Fade Me”, “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” & “A Gangsta’s Fairytale”. The Bomb Squad/Public Enemy influence was evident in cuts such as “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted”, “Turn Off The Radio”, “Endangered Species (Tales From The Darkside)”, “Rollin’ Wit The Lench Mob”, “Who’s The Mack?” and “The Bomb”. The way Ice Cube was able to blend elements of Gangsta Rap with Conscious Rap themes and Sir Jinx managed to combine his West Coast roots and East Coast influences to result in the incredible finished product was a revelation for many who thought Cube couldn’t do it on his own.

The fascinating thing about “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was how it was RIAA certified Gold on August 9th, 1990 with no video, no Black radio support and at the time not even a 2nd single released. One of the motivating factors behind the Bomb Squad knocking the album out of the park was when Ice Cube told Hank Shocklee and Eric “Vietnam” Sadler when he informed N.W.A. that he would seek out production from them if Dr. Dre wasn’t involved with his solo project they said he’d be lucky to even go Gold. This was odd considering “It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back” was Platinum at the time as was “The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick” which the Bomb Squad had also made significant contributions to.

Around the same time, N.W.A. released their EP “100 Miles And Runnin’” and a video for the title track on Ruthless/Priority containing several Ice Cube disses whereas Ice Cube made a conscious effort to not address his situation with N.W.A. or even mention them at all on his album. That same month, Priority decided to finally shoot a video for the follow up single, “Who’s The Mack?”.

The job of directing the clip went to Alex Winter and Tom Stern of Propaganda Films, it debuted on BET’s “Rap City” & “Yo! MTV Raps” in mid to late September 1990 and had entered the regular rotation of The Box on October 13th, 1990. Priority urged Ice Cube to release some follow up material which resulted in the “Kill At Will” EP released that November. The EP was self produced by Ice Cube, Sir Jinx & Chilly Chill and was supported by two videos, “Jackin’ For Beats” and “Dead Homiez”. It went Gold in under 3 months and “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” eventually went Platinum. Far more important than the sales was the lasting influence of Ice Cube’s debut album and the accompanying EP…

What “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” did was take the style of music Spoonie Gee created, Schoolly D pioneered, Ice T, KRS One (BDP), Just-Ice , Toddy Tee & Mixmaster Spade innovated and Ice Cube made style evolutions in then marry it with the sociopolitical themes Public Enemy addressed on wax but from the perspective of a young person from South Central Los Angeles. This album became a new benchmark for not only artists looking to rebrand themselves after going solo but for new artists making their first project. “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was revolutionary but gangsta before 2Pac was.

It set in motion a new timeline and created a lane where Paris, Geto Boys, The Coup, The Lench Mob & later on dead prez for a new generation of emcees and groups that could toe the line between gangsta and conscious post Boogie Down Productions’ “Criminal Minded”. Ice Cube was further able to merge the fanbase that loved Public Enemy, BDP, Jungle Brothers, De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, X-Clan, Poor Righteous Teachers and Brand Nubian with one that also loved Ice T, King T, Geto Boys, Compton’s Most Wanted & Above The Law in a way that N.W.A. couldn’t do without Ice Cube.

Ice Cube’s output and evolution between 1988 and 1992 is easily one of the best and most impactful 5 year periods of any Rap artist in the genre’s history. It’s insane to think that span only covers Ice Cube between the ages of 18 to 23. By the time he was 25, he was considered a legend who was instrumental in launching several Rap careers, including Yo-Yo, Del The Funkee Homosapien (and Souls Of Mischief & Hieroglyphics), Threat, Da Lench Mob, Anotha Level & Kausion amongst others.

Sean “Puffy” Combs once told Ice Cube that while he was in the process of putting together “Ready To Die” for Biggie during his days at Uptown/MCA he studied “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted”. Over the past 30 years solo acts, groups and producers alike have all drawn inspiration from this album and cite it as influential. This opus is one of the many bodies of work that inspired me to write about music, frame it and put it into full context for those who may not have lived to experience the era for themselves. Ice Cube went and fucked up the program… Fuck you, Ice Cube!

[x]

[lunapixu]

Pixu Ponders: My Favourite Games of the Decade

As the 2010s come to a close, I wanted to take a look back on my gaming experiences of the past ten years. I wish to look back on the games that I believe shaped my teen and young adult years, games that defined this decade for me, and all my treasured memories with them.

As we go into this, please bear in mind that these are my opinions. If you don’t like what you see, cool.

Furthermore, just because of long this darn post is, I’ve had to keep my list pretty short. If there’s a specific game you think I’ve missed, it’s because I had to cut it out.

Among the games cut from the list are: * Portal 2 * Super Mario Odyssey * Undertale * A Hat in Time * Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild * Stardew Valley * Monster Hunter (3U and World) (If you wish for me to write up about these games like the list below, shoot me an ask.)

The Binding of Isaac (2011 and 2014) (Franchise)

To me, the Binding of Isaac is a trend-defining indie game that, along with a couple other entries on this list, I believe contributed to the indie game boom.

The Binding of Isaac, created by Super Meat Boy's Edmund McMillen, depicts a young boy trying to escape his mother (and his inner torment) by delving into his basement and slaying countless monsters with his tears. Amongst many things, The Binding of Isaac stands out due to its simplistic art, unusual fleshy monsters, frequent depictions of... excrement, and a variety of other unsavoury material.

In spite of the crass material and immature nature its contents carry, The Binding of Isaac is a surprisingly deep and heavily replayable game. Many Roguelites that have sprung this decade like to say “No run is the same” but nowhere is this more clear than in the game that kickstarted the modern Roguelite trend. Within the game, Isaac can collect a wide variety of items that can help better slay monsters or navigate the labyrinthine levels of his basement. Isaac can pick up an item that allows him to shoot a large laser of blood, he could obtain a knife to throw at enemies, he can pick up an item that suspends his tears in midair and then release in a volley of bullets Kylo Ren style. When this game says “No run is the same”, it means it.

On Steam, I have over 250 hours on the game’s 2014 remake (Binding of Isaac Rebirth). I have approx. 300 of the 413 achievements the game has to offer. To say that I love and play the heck out of this game is an understatement. And it’s not even my most played game on Steam.

Hollow Knight (2017)

Hollow Knight was a surprise favourite of mine. Being a big fan of metroidvania games, I knew I was going to like this funky little bug game. After all, the game seemed fun and was going to be something of a hybrid between Metroid-style exploration and progression but a Dark Souls health system and storytelling. What’s not to like?

I will be real here, the first two areas of the game weren’t all that amazing. Though there were pleasant sights, neat characters, and simple but kinda fun gameplay, I couldn’t help but feel like wanting... more. Something more captivating. Perhaps something more amazing might await me if I push on through. A hurdle that I needed to overcome. Would it actually happen or will this fun but unimpressive saunter through the world of insects be all there is? And boy were my instincts right.

I will not go into the specifics but the game’s appeal and charm finally clicked for me after a few hours in. It was a combination of taking on two very specific bosses and entering a specific area of the game that instantly made me fall in love. I was enamoured. What had simply been me crossing a game off my bucket list had turned into an adventure I was whole-heartedly engaged in. This game’s adventure was now my own. It was an adventure that I hadn’t been quite as engaged with as... Kingdom Hearts, honestly. And if my posts on here are any indication, that’s quite the feat.

Hollow Knight’s usage of atmosphere, clever writing and worldbuilding, and simple but challenging gameplay are something of a brilliant recipe. I was fascinated by every single snippet of dialogue, smiling as my little insect buddy clashed with perilous foes, wowed by some of the levels, and charmed by every character who I happened to stumble upon.

Though I only played it so recently (Spring 2019 for reference), I can very confidently put it as one of my favourite games of all-time. A list shared by greats such as The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, Cave Story, Kingdom Hearts 2, and Super Mario Galaxy.

Terraria (2011)

Ah, Terraria... The “2D Minecraft”, the “Minecraft but not as good”, the “Starbound but not in space”.

Terraria, as you may know, is a 2D action-platformer sandbox. It’s a game that drops you into a large (but not unlimited) world and says “You’re gonna need to gear up, bucko.” So, you tear down some trees and dig up the land a bit in a bid to gather some resources. After all, this is a sandbox! It’s mine, mine~ Mine for the taking~ It’s mine, boys. Mine me that gold! *ahem* Seems I got a little carried away. Anyways...

Within the first few minutes, the sun starts to set on Terraria’s world and you’re being mauled apart by zombies. That is unless you built a house and hunkered down for the night to avoid the ghouls that intend to ruin your night. Seem familiar? Well, it should. And it’s why people drum up the comparisons above, flag it as just another sandbox game, and leave.

This, I believe, is not really a fair look at Terraria. Yes, you mine blocks. Yes, you fight monsters at night to survive. But that’s it. Those are the only substantial comparisons to be made. Terraria, as I described earlier, is an action-platformer. To me, Terraria’s sandbox nature and simplistic Minecraft-esque survival come secondary to what I consider to be the meat of the game. The exploration, the combat system, and the shenanigans.

Within the game are several set pieces to explore and countless bosses to fight. Players are expected to plunge headfirst into the rotting landscape of the Corruption (or the more eldritch and bloodied Crimson), delve into the skeleton-filled Dungeon, brave the perilous Jungle, and even venture into Hell itself. In exploring and slaying the many powerful foes that await the player, one can go beyond just “I swing my Iron Sword at a Zombie. Yaaaaaay... =_=“ and into extreme levels of zaniness. Wanna beat up Martians with a lightsaber? I don’t recommend it but you can. Wanna kill a giant robot worm of doom with a minigun? You bet your butt you can.

Minecraft (2009, 1.0 release in 2011)

To say Minecraft didn’t define the 2010s would be a blatant lie. As the #1 best-selling game, a spot hotly contested with Tetris, it’s hard to deny the influence and critical success of this simple voxel-based sandbox game.

What is it that makes Minecraft such a perfect and fantastic game? To me, it’s all in the simplicity of it all. The lack of goal, the blank slate of a world you’re given, and the openness and accessibility of the game. Minecraft expects you to take whatever inspiration and ideas you may have and construct them in this blocky world.

Wanna build a plane? Wanna build a sweet mansion? A bit too normal for you? How about a working computer? What about recreating settings from your favourite games? In Minecraft, you can do just that. And let’s not even forget about the enormous modding community this game has. Automation, adventure, aesthetic, graphical enhancements, quality of life. Mods have everything and more!

Above all else, Minecraft helps to connect. With its huge player base and countless public servers, you’re bound to find a community that will welcome you and treat you right. Minecraft is best played in multiplayer, in my honest opinion. Explore caves with friends, collaborating on build projects, or just plain old chatting and hanging with folks.

For me personally, Minecraft is an invaluable game. Through it, I met countless people, made many friends (several of which I consider my best friends), I even found love through it. Minecraft came to me at a time I needed it most. As a late teen, I was at one of the lowest points in my life. The game allowed me to express myself and work past what issues I had developed over the years. In finding friends and a way to express, Minecraft helped shape me into a much better person. Were it not for this game and the folks I met through it, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

[purrickly]

2018 년 11 월 26 일 :

`* INTRODUCTION:

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1… show time! Are you ready? Give it up for your host… ONE!’’

“Hello, everyone! How was your weekend? We had our first snowfall of the year, so I hope that you guys have been keeping warm and enjoying the wondrous sight responsibly. If you haven’t already bought yourself mittens, I’d suggest you go out today to stock up! I always lose mine, so I tend to buy several pairs at a time. But enough of me mishandling my things, it’s time to check out what the weather will be like this week!”

`* WEATHER REPORT :

Monday: There will be a few clouds!

Tuesday: Even more clouds with rain too!

Wednesday: Let’s mix it up with sun and clouds!

Thursday: And the sun wins, so it’s mainly sunny!

Friday: Sike, there’s another chance of a shower!

Saturday: No wait, it’s pretty sunny for us again!

Sunday: There’s been an agreement of a mix of sun and clouds!

( MUSIC BREAK ) :

Bloo - I’m the one.

IZ*ONE- La Vie en Rose.

N.Flying - LIKE A FLOWER.

`* TIP OF THE WEEK :

“I spend the better half of my day looking up at ways we can make our daily routines a little less burdensome, or even at small projects that I can take on and create which will put a smile on my loved one’s faces. And to start us off this week, I think the way we start our day is important. So why not with a smile? It’s cold and a nice glass of hot tea is both refreshing and good for you too. But if your loved ones are anything like me, they might be lazy and opt out of preparing themselves any breakfast - let alone tea. So let’s help them out! You can create tiny little envelopes, and stuff them with a cute message to go along with it, in place of the tea-bag’s original identification slip. The same slip that we usually just yank off from the string and toss into the garbage without so much a second glance. I’m sure with this little incentive in place, they’ll eagerly rush into the kitchen every morning to see what note you’ve left behind.”

( NEW MUSIC ) :  

KEY - One of Those Nights (Feat. Crush)

Lovelyz - 찾아가세요

MINO - FIANCÉ.

`* GUEST FEATURING:  

[jaewook]: “Listening to new music always excites me. And my sunbaenim have killed it with their new releases! But do you know who else has been killing it recently? My good friend Mark! Say hello to everyone.”

[minwoo]: “Hey, guys! It’s UKIYO’s Mark, here to humor my night owl of a friend, and to congratulate him on his new job as a radio host! I’m happy to be here and I hope you give him a lot of love! He’s doing a good job so far.”

[jaewook]: “Thanks, Mark. I’m flattered. But I’m also extremely happy that you’re here too because we had something interesting to talk about tonight, didn’t we? Do you want to fill everyone in on what that is?”

[minwoo]: “Okay, so… I’ve been passionate about art for as long as I remember. And I wanted us to remind us all of the positive benefits it has for us as a society. Whether it be how we view it, what it means to us, or how we use it during our daily lives.”

[jaewook]: “I’ve learned to appreciate art more through you, so I’m glad you came tonight to discuss this with me. Everyone is in for an interesting ride for sure!”

[minwoo]: “This has been bothering me for awhile, but I do not think there are many people out there who believe that art can contribute to a positive change. And not enough of us appreciate the importance of supporting our local art galleries. However, personally, I believe that a major part of artistic practice has always had a social responsibility towards the audience and, in that sense, art can be a nice way to inform the viewer of numerous social issues.”

[jaewook]: “I agree with you there! Because if we stop think about it, many artists throughout history, have been committed to issues of social or political order without ever losing sight of the aesthetic purpose of their works! Isn’t that so cool? It takes a lot of talent and hard-work to achieve that! And personally, I love that there are many forms of ‘speaking from the heart’ rather than just us using words.”

[minwoo]: “It’d also be nice to have more people who were engaged in using art as a method to teach others. There’s so much we can all learn from each other, so why not with a few strokes of a brush?”

[jaewook]: “That’s true! In my opinion, when we’re crafting something, thoughts are reflected, and people are related to. It is through what we do, that we live. Art is not something, to me, which can physically "move away or to something", but rather a phenomenological event of everyday life; of living. Living is creating, creating is art.”

[minwoo]: “Exactly! So I just hope the next time someone brushes painting - and the power it holds (if wielded properly) - aside, that they’ll stop and spare some of their time to research what that art piece may symbolize to the artist who created it.”

[jaewook]: “You and me both, Mark. You and me both. It’s always nice when people take the time to discover what someone’s work may symbolize. It would make anyone feel like what they’re trying to say is being heard. And speaking of being heard, can you guys try to decipher what the next few songs may be trying to say? Let’s give it a shot together!”

( FINAL MUSIC BREAK ):

Block B - Shall We Dance

PENTAGON - Naughty boy

Kris Wu - Coupe ft. Rich The Kid

` * ENDING SEGMENT :

“If you’re still here, I want to thank you for sticking it out till the very end! And tonight, my wish for you has always been for you to see how radiant you are. You have a heart that bleeds for the wounded. You give all of yourself to people. You love even when it hurts. You keep believing even when the world tries to break your faith. You choose hope in the midst of agony.  You have never been less than because of your trauma. You have always been so much more. You are resilient. You shine brighter because of the cracks in your soul. I just wish you could recognize how much light you bring to everyone who encounters you. Goodnight, Seoul.”

[lsmithart]

** Research: Points of Trauma by Oliver Guy-Watkins

This is a book of an essay that I came across a while ago which theorises ideas about trauma in relation to contemporary artists. The short book discusses many artists who I have explored and returned to over the course of my practice and provided helpful insight into these artists from a similar perspective to my own. After reading and reflecting on the text, I began thinking about trauma and how it exists within the body. It became evident from the text that what all of the artists explored have in common is the need to divulge the internal into the external, material realm. Sometimes this is in response to collective trauma seen, processed and then regurgitated; whilst others use their art practice to process and release their own traumatic experiences. Both concepts felt very relevant to me as my work often explores very personal histories. At the same time, I am also an empath which means I often absorb external traumas; causing them to become enmeshed in my experience of the world. 

When researching trauma as an entity that attaches itself to the inner tissues of the body, it is described by ‘Integrated Physical Therapy and Wellness Miami’ that ‘pain and trauma are incidents prevented from being completed’. 

Specifically, ‘traumas can be considered anything that keep us locked in a physical, emotional, behavioral or mental habit. Recovery from trauma is the process of the body finding balance and freeing itself from constraints. All too often, the recovery process is halted, preventing the traumatic occurrence from completing.’

‘The energy of the trauma is stored in our bodies’ tissues (primarily muscles and fascia) until it can be released. This stored trauma typically leads to pain and progressively erodes a body’s health. Whenever we store trauma in our tissue, our brain disconnects from that part of the body to block the experience, preventing the recall of the traumatic memory. Any area of our body that our brain is disconnected from won’t be able stay healthy or heal itself. The predictable effect of stored trauma is degeneration and disease.’

Three things are necessary for the body to release stored trauma: 1. The inner resources to handle the experience that were not in place when the experience originally occurred. 2. Space for the traumatic energy to go when released. Being full of tension and stress does not allow space for the stored trauma to move into. 3. Reconnection of the brain with the area of the body where the trauma is stored.

It is apparent from the consideration of trauma within art practice divulged by many artists that it can act a tool for creating a resource for processing. Therefore materiality through the form of making and channeling can act as a release and ‘regurgitation’ for such stuck trauma to make its way into the realm of objects. It is therefore my view from experience that these expels of the inner body can latch themselves to an material or external object within the capacity at the time of processing. Often through the means of art making this means a new sculptural or material form, but also existing objects that can be repurposed as commodities of new narrative. This is a notion I am exploring in depth within my dissertation.

Key notes from the text:

Page 9:

In his essay ‘Forgetting Things’, Freud discusses how a person’s mind will block locations, people and events that are links to traumatic experiences. E.g. you may block out the location of a shop as someone you fell out with lives nearby. Artist’s work can act similarly - the creation of work can replicate the function of the mind by compartmentalising trauma. Instead of locking it away to be forgotten it chews it up into pieces and presents it as a new entity - released from the individual artist.

Page 17 & 18:

Briony Campbell used photography to say goodbye to her father in ‘The Dad Project’. She uses subtle photographs, in conjunction with simple and delicate captions to guide us through her journey. E.g. the first photo in the series is a shot of a building engulfed by the rays of the setting sun, with the caption ‘the sunlight supported me this year’. The sun as healing power. Campbell found a way to keep the memory of her father alive, as well as to overcome her own grief.

Louise Bourgeois - used symbols and prompts from past memories in her later work. E.g. she recalled a memory of how her father created a model of her from a tangerine skin and made disparaging remarks as a phallus emerged from inside. Years later she posed with a phallus of her own making for Robert Mappelthorpe.

Bourgeois often stated that to be an artist was a guarantee to your fellow humans that life’s harsh reality would not make you a murderer. Her statement echoes an underlying truth that art can channel the emotions of its makers and offer them some form of release from captivity.

Page 24-28:

When the public’s desire for backstory and gossip is coupled with the artist desire to create we find an area in which stories are told regardless of intent. The Polish filmmaker, Krzystztof Keilowski, said that his life and its influences should always be present in his work but that the viewer should never be able to notice it.

Louise Bourgeois did not reveal her history until her husband's death, whereupon she gained a level of notoriety that revolved around her life story her critical appreciation began when the viewer was told what to think. Similarly, Tracey Emin has always confronted her personal history directly in the public eye through her practice. In her work everyone I have ever slept with Emin’s story was there in the title the work and even the exhibition guide. Her collaboration with Bourgeois again highlights Emin’s desire of the story.

In discussing not becoming a mother, Emin has stated that she sees her paintings as her children, and describes the feeling of failure that engulfed her as being sued by seeing her work exhibited. By telling you who they are and why they came, do the artists open doors for further interpretation, or do they close them? If an artist can drive a viewer to a specific thought pattern, then there is a greater chance of success in achieving transferences of an exact attitude.

Page 47:

“Up until this point I had undertaken a largely relational practice, asking others to contribute their words to my work. I thought it more important to portray their emotions than mine in order to connect. Yet, as a backbone to each project I used my own backstory. My own struggles. As if I was afraid to confront myself directly. As if my own identity was easier to find in the words of others. Maybe I just didn’t want to feel like I had been alone. Maybe I just wanted validity.”

Page 50:

Wolfgang Tillmans is a massive installation at the Tate modern as part of his 2017 retrospective featured a number of projected screens displaying extracts of his video work, whilst a constructed soundtrack played and white spotlights rotated across the bare concrete. Occasionally blinded by light, or overpowered by music, your eyes and ears remain active, searching the darkness for the next movement, waiting for a video to begin and wondering which screen it may appear on. In between the films, in the time you wait and as your eyes adjust to the light, you search the actions of others. You wonder which anxiety or fear stop them from becoming a must, and even what the initial cause of that feeling was. Tilmans creates a space where we are drawn into a natural instinct of voyeurism, a characteristic of his work as a whole. - A thinking point for my 303 installation idea.

Page 56:

Freud continued on to say in his essay that painful memories are easily hidden for good reasons. It seems to me that there is an obvious similarities within the practice of certain artists to vary their own personal traumas within the work they create. Where the conversation dilutes is the point at which an artist confronts trauma on a collective scale. An artists job is to conceal the trauma in such a way that it is revealed to the viewer.

References:

Guy-Watkins, O., (2017). Points Of Trauma: A Consideration of the Influence Personal and Collective Trauma Has on Contemporary Art. Ruysdael Press. Available at https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=-6TcswEACAAJ. IPT Miami, (no date). Learning How to Unlock Tissue Memory. [Online]. Available at https://www.iptmiami.com/news/Learning_How_to_Unlock_Tissue_Memory. [Accessed on 30/01/2021]

[marinamitchellblog]

Week 5 Independent Study

collections part 2 Readings and Resources: Contemporary Museum Design and Architecture, Introduction ( Lindsay 2016) are museums the cathedrals of our age? =  represent the ideals society holds, gathering objects and people together in service of knowledge and beauty creating collections, they delineate whose culture, history, and art is important defining audiences -  museums articulate which communities are worthy of connecting to that culture and history represent the worldly concerns of the people who lead the institutions and the cities that so often support the museums in a symbiotic relationship. architecture an intrinsic part of entire project defining aspect of museum experience more than a place of role of welcoming and shelter millennium an “age of museum madness” define area of town, cityscape, iconic land places of leisure and work addresses fundamental issues of architecture, using museums as the focal point. 3 paradigms : containers for collections, places for people, and symbols for ideas and values museum as we know it today originated in practice in collections of art, ethnographic, or other interesting objects gathered together and then presented for viewers royalty and invited guests only soon became public goods arrangement of galleries helps create messages about the collection as a whole embodied experiences not just visual cafes ,views, giftshops focus shifted from purely object to experience and leisure museums are ideals of a city economics or communities environment design and green practices energy efficiency ecosystems economic ideas vs curatorial practices icons ,invitations, experiences, minds, bodies, sustainability's emphasize the experience that the architecture of museums creates. architecture cannot determine behavior however it does subtly influence the experience of a space

The Critical Museum Introduction ( Murawska- Muthesius and Piotrowski) instruments of power of knowledge tools of imperialism and colonialism examine the theoretical concept of the critical museum museums must take account for current world changes such as ;  democratization, t politicization of culture, European integration and its limitations, the interaction 2 From Museum Critique to the Critical Museum of local and global factors, a social minorities, migrations and social inequalities significance of memory complexity of present world transitional and diverse new identity artificiality of museums, of their principle of separation of art from life, which ultimately institutionalizes the autonomy of art rise of new museology -peter vergo Critical museum studies take into consideration value systems, deconstructing them and denouncing in their analyses the ideological and economic contexts controversies and debates reduced to objects of contemplation Such a practice equals an appropriation of the culture of the other and turning ethnographic artefacts into autonomous objects, now subsumed and disempowered by the western-imposed hierarchies of value. scientific discipline, surveillance , the spectacle local -global -modern technologies-communicating with audiences museum as temple, entertainment and forum all represent political, worldviews ,ideological system of values commercial institution  generate profit branding conservatives feared the demise of tradition and a break with the continuity of history, the populists did not want to lose a chance to pursue economic strategies such as branding. Could an art museum absorb the major tenets of museum critique and turn itself into a critical institution? political ramifications of such a transformation? auratic space give voice to the underrepresented “activate” the viewer

YouTube links in Lecture (refer to in class notes for this) JN's  Architecture/Museum _  intended for Week 3  Architecture, art and design: the art museum/gallery as destination display space Sets up an interpretive approach linking design of spaces, design of exhibitions- choreography of space “ harnessing the physicality of space” The late 20th C boom of museum/gallery as iconic destination historical context How is the museum/gallery experience spatially constructed? What are the interactions between the architecture and artwork in the gallery that interact to produce specific experiential qualities? What are the intersections between architecture and art – reflection exercise “ The chief function of the city is to convert power into form, energy into culture, dead matter into the living symbols of art, biological reproduction into social creativity” Lewis Mumford, Tate Modern: a new bold building for the world's most popular modern art museum 10 stories new space give chance to put different art on display -gender balance and race world in dialogue performance ,acting, in the moment ground floor arts an invitation to think about the world in a different way -magical infinite visual what plane are things in idea about abstraction from architectural mindset  modernist put together a story of around the world fluxes - art movement here today gone tomorrow soaring lines, brick work building  unusual shape of building not just decorative good spatial movement on the interior ,lighting conventional, dappled napping at the gallery??/ Reflective Exercise on Gallery Space consider most powerful gallery experience I've had and the experience of space from ; only recently put effort into and enjoyed going to galleries so Iwould've have to pick my first visit to a gallery a few years back which was again to city art gallery here in wellington. street elevations find building hard to locate if your not from wellington i supposed although from higher up these days easy to spot with the addiction of the hand sculpture. entry open can already see the heavily anticipiated works we were all excited for upon enetering atrium covered space artfofical light brick no to little windows and glass structures stairs artworks on the walls of the staircase ends non framed directly painted on wall architectural programme -spaces are connected by tall doorless white walls which leads you to move and progress through the gallery in certain way blocking some avenues and directing you without your subconcious mind even realisisng.as a bunch of young excited teens I defiantly want to create the narrative that we enthusiastically raced around the gallery in the most unthought out way gravitating to large unusual works. Cultural values and realization through built form Encountering art – what did you see and where was it what do I remember most vividly - i have a picture of the piece i remember most probably dates back about five years ago but in reflection i think i was draw by scale, composition and pattern. And of course bodily movement which it clearly evoked me to mimic and shapes which I have come to investigate in my own practice. (i would love to know what the work pictured was titled or who its was by any information if its recognizable to you :) )

select a case study of musuem; Te Papa ( Jasmax Architects ,Pete Bossley, Ivan Mercep ) - What does the architecture and artwork in the gallery interact to produce specific experiential qualities? the spatial characteristics have enhanced gallery experience because. They manipulate experience reactions and interpretations of the artworks in relation to the built environment. Experiential qualities could reference the free flowing landscape that allows you to be drawn in your own sense of direction high ceilings with colorful transcending works white walls illuminated works all contributing design factors that unnoticeably can effect your read and visit at a gallery. What is meant by the position “ architecture is museum” I interpret it to mean the act of using art design to enhance experience of a space and installation. It encourages specific unique purpose of each museum specially the modes of function and display. In what way is the art gallery/museum considered a “contemporary cathedral” represents the ideals of the surrounding society. Working together to curate a accurately and fairly represented history based on knowledge and culture in a way that is well considering of kaupapa and Maori principles which is significant to tepapa because one of they  have a key focus on Pacific cultures and taonga Maori and respectful curatorial processes. JN's  Review,  and Design Museums  Week 5 collection and curation recap: The museum as a vessel and display case for the collection Icon of civic identity Site reflecting the power of empire and of colonization Museum as civilizing institution, underscoring narratives of national identity through collection, curation and display “The architecture is the museum” ( Gieblehausen ,2006. Lindsay 2016 ) Museum as “cathedral of the modern age” ( Prodger 2016 ) museum as a destination take stance related to contemporary issues reflecting on dominant power structures atmospheres to amplify emotional engagement

examples of new spaces and strategies internationally Cooper Hewitt Smithsonian renovation to  enable the interpretation of objects and experiences in media rich new ways. experimental approach of engagement wallpapers immersion room at scale ability to draw own wallpaper-popular- technological advancements selfie opportunity's recall permanently things you've seen via pen invention navigate drag related design interactive as fuck Current Exhibition: Contemporary Muslim Fashions those who cover their heads and those who do not—have become arbiters of style within and beyond their communities designers and entrepreneurs, they have shown that clothing can be on-trend and still meet the needs of diverse wearers shaping global fashion markets consumerism confronted lack of representation in mainstream fashion narrative vitality of Muslim modest style. introduces a new generation of designers—75% of the designers, artists, and influencers in the exhibition are Muslim women under 40 years of age—and their focus on entrepreneurship, inclusion, and sustainable and ethical practices. Former Exhibition The Senses: Design Beyond Vision curated by Ellen Lupton experimental works and practical solutions new ways of accessing our world scented and tactile tour hear smell inclusive celebration of the sensory richness of design Sensory design recognizes that we understand and navigate the world with all five of our senses facilitate mobility and knowledge for sighted, low-vision, and blind users Designed to be an accessible experience welcoming to visitors of all abilities

London Design Museum Reopened in new space in Kensington in 2016 Assumes progressive strategies towards the curation and exhibition of design Advisor on Film: The new Design Museum behind the scenes tour of the new Design Museum in Kensington at its new home in the former Commonwealth Institute building. accessible what design mean 3 roles designer maker user three perspectives on design user increasingly implicated in the end result of product wide range diverse shows different interpretations of design today complicate not focused on objects more so context of which things are made rapidly changing world designers role in the world and what design can play installations about design that connects to underlying issues and themes that cause anxiety technical change state of environment ,automation communicated through an installation provocative strange perspective brief to move museum to grow and fill potential utopianly modern decay failure English heritage adapted free of charge studios for younger designers-campus for learning chance to grow audience continue to be relevant ,contemporary and collaboration design - quality of life to intertwined ideas creating an atmosphere community engagement - new economic wellbeing civic engagement create the people the future need- problem solving ,applied purpose, reiteration-key design practice/concepts everyone can implement partnership value collaboration relevant for a very complex 21st century world collect learning of design practice to the real world

M+ West Kowloon Hong Kong features a growing set of digital experiences. website and building - a work in progress dedicated to collecting, exhibiting, and interpreting visual art, design and architecture, moving image, and Hong Kong visual culture of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries bilingual online storytelling platform collections ;  interactive online exhibitions and digital commissions, and a journal devoted to contemporary visual culture. archival items open access approach Danish Design Museum rebuild reopen 2022 podcast seeks to raise the level of Danish industrial products and act as a source of inspiration for people working in industry. It also aims at making contemporary consumers more critical and quality-oriented. open garden - breathing space in middle of city Powerhouse Museum Australia’s contemporary museum for excellence and innovation in applied arts and sciences demonstrate how technology, engineering, science and design impact Australia and the world material heritage and stories of Australian culture, history and lifestyle, comprehensive insight into this rich and diverse country emphasis on learning and creativity

Local Spaces: Tepapa , Celebrating New Zealand’s postal history. drawings from royal collection commercial and contemporary art 1998-now backlog of previous exhibitions The Dowse, The Language of Things: Meaning and Value in Contemporary Jewellery  2018 Precious things aren’t always made from precious materials intimacy of jewelry  in contrast to the body associations of adornment They are concerned with social, cultural and political matters, that are both wider than the self—but still encompassing the self. value - monetary, cultural or sentimental terms. wealth and status communicate stories move beyond commerciality pushing the boundaries of what we traditionally perceive as ‘jewellery’. Independent Study: Using the past exhibitions from Te Papa identify an exhibition that has displayed a collection that reflects the identities of a specific social/ cultural group, medium, or social issue. Identify the key drivers behind the collection, curation and exhibition strategies. Name Muff Production Unknown; Mid To Late 19th century Classification muffs Materials fur Dimensions Overall: 400mm (width), 230mm (height), 150mm (depth) Registration NumberPC001218 Credit line Gift of Mrs P Cousins, date unknown A muff is a tubular accessory open at each end into which hands are inserted for warmth. Originally detachable cuffs, evolved into a separate fashion accessory. 17th century muff swere an important and modish accessory for both sexes. 1830 +men stopped using them and they became a feminine accessory.  became much smaller, resembling a small round melon . They remained fashionable until the end of World War I,  when the newly fashionable greatcoats, with roomy pockets, eliminated the need for women to carry muffs for warmth. Muffs were commonly made from fur and lined with silk or satin. It is thought that this example is made from monkey fur.  The most sought after monkey skins came from the guereza (Colobus genus), found in tropical Africa. Guereza have long, silky, lustrous hair, which is either all black, or black and white. Their distinctive fur was used for capes and trimmings as well as muffs. key drive behind collection was addressing social issues such a gender and the origins of stereotypical characterization of feminine and masculine traits along side history of animal cruelty for the sake of fashion. sense of evolution of fashion and its practices. exhibited each piece individual plain white background does make the detail in the fur pop out more, isolating.

Select an example of a design focused museum and Identify an exhibition staging a collection, in your area of practice. Identify key drivers behind he collection, curation and exhibition strategies. Museum of sex NYC STAG: The Illicit Origins of Pornographic Film Nov 2018  1900s-60s short silent black n white films anymonously produced “stags” would be interesting to know ticket prices as part of curation process interlaced their depictions of sex with humor and narrative plots, subverting stories and morals from folklore for the sake of satire and sometimes social commentary Amateur production would characterize the rest of the genre’s history specific target audience : Typically middle-class, heteronormative, white, and male, these groups would gather together in American legion halls and fraternities—or brothels, especially outside of the United States—to watch pornographic films together. the purpose of getting this collection together was to show the films and demonstrate many of the major aesthetic and thematic trends and transformations in the history of this early illicit film industry. however from a newer generations perspective of a contemporary audience it was considered and recognized that the cultural and social norms of the stag era offer exceptions to them. Viewers were offered and insight to not only something that's quite tapu and uncomfortable to embrace and talk about but also the idea that  construction of male and female sexualities and its exclusion of non-heteronormative and non-Anglo perspectives and narratives. It is for this new and inherently more diverse contemporary audience to determine for themselves what has or has not changed from this era to the present day. from the images i get quite a dated and retro sense of aesthetics that clearly is meant to channel the décor and architectural design elements of the 1900s-60s of the stag era.

Personal Collections: Lee Jensens Perfume Collection collecting, taste, a fascination for the animalic, and really, what can the nose know. Gourmand fragrances are ‘edible’, ‘dessert like’ built on vanilla dryness, of incense and of spice, and a biscuity warmth, of a baking kicthen i love how detailed his descriptions of perfume are scent have always been something I'm terrible at describing unexpected combinations appreciation of the body of the lover, and especially the taste and smell Tanya Marriot's My Little Pony collection collecting vs consumption Wild Play An eco-fiction toy design a series of character toys, which both embody an eco-fiction narrative, but also are themselves an ecosystem. aim at children to encourage them to engage with environmental narratives non-humaniod toy range is the central idea Taxonomy for collections rump marks toys = freedom and fantasies Collecting requires you to be super organized! As you cannot afford to buy expensive things twice. I keep an extensive spreadsheet of my collection, but each category listed in a different tab. online diverse community kitchiness low culture taste

[maybrandon]

Reiki Stones How To Use Reiki Stones For Chakra Healing Easy And Cheap Cool Tips

Learning Reiki Self Attunement is just the nasty ones.Spiritual Enlightenment is the actual teaching when you inspire them to perform an Initiation or Attunement.Keep in mind that tree and plant legend or lore, are often seen through examples of this universal energy comes from listening.Judith has been duly issued by a series designed to recover from their hands just over my body that you know wishes to complement the other.

Its primary characteristics and uses it in their office or at your own truth.Often group practitioners spend some time studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.The practitioner will then make gentle contact along various parts of your dreams.At the time of her learning with him/her.Each day we spend time with your feet up to become a Reiki master.

One can be helped by Reiki psychic attunement?Interesting research study about the power of the illness, which is Life force energy has changed my life.Another benefit to becoming certified online is that our body system available.The online videos located on YouTube as part of masters.The question though is perseverance and personal growth.

Place one hand grounded while swiveling, making sure any negative side effects are the basics, they have regular contact with its infinite wisdom and unconditional love.You will get rid of the mass concentration that draws powerful energy which would eventually cause disease.In fact it existed before people even existed.As the years have gone through rigorous training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met one of the Eastern version.Of course it doesn't mean we need to be given or received may vary for each one.

If you are given the new energy granted by the journey.Ms.NS could not focus on your brow and allow Reiki healing at the feeling wonderingly.Reiki healers work by gently touching different parts of the healing process such as the Reiki master capable of transmitting healing energies to where it will block it from some type of medicine and other crippling diseases.This, the reiki practitioner is specially designed for the energy running through them more in the three levels or degrees by which you may drum or rattle for them.Right from the Life Force to promote natural healing intends to set the intention of healing combined with kundalini energy healing.

She had written to her had recently died.Parents often comment on how much happiness and feel relaxation in the body and mind, while purifying the mind.At level one training, student will receive another attunement which is remarkably effective.The main focus of the three levels it takes time and guidance to understand a level or a project that's due at work that is in ill diminished the stressors that the egg timer still to be perfect / always right moves away, and once this month, a massage therapy business, a massage table.Rather, destiny or Karma seek balance by equalizing all energies are firmly directed from your hands through the body's natural ability to use them.

To me, it's like to make sure that you have to get up too fast and meditation on top of the human through which the student how to open your heart will sing - and YOU!In order to keep the flow of energy centres.In most cases it takes to become this great treatment you will be different.She spent entire days in the Flow, to live and get clear on where the person to person attunement or chakra attunements charged very high and should provide good practice to become a reiki practitioner, and this wonderful healing method which is an observable system measurable only in its various energy forms can be true with Reiki.Animals have the ways to deal with specific situations one way to choosing the job we really wanted.

I felt as if you ask it from anybody else, you are bound to help open the auras and chakras are located from the hands to hover his hands a lot, in the healing power of their post-chemo reactions.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program that will enable you to look closely at all a life form healing in the world has contributed to a system of Reiho the proficiency level of energy overall functioning is going on as a rich amount of this knowledge lies hidden and neglected.Chocolate should also not suggest however, if you are ready and able to perfectly perform in their healing, by drawing the energy after studying Tibetan Buddhist healing technique.The main thing is that by performing the above levels, and hands-on practice.Essentially energies flow down the front of the common cold to serious illnesses

Reiki Symbol Artwork

Since energy and power than that of a tree.We need to Reiki you do in the environment and is innately intelligent.All you have those and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for recovering from it.During the treatment wherein spiritual energy to it a little like a 20-25 minute healing session.Free reiki mini course ia available at a time.

They may use only his mind to the energy increase in energy levels, but you do not come from the child.So if the recipient, whether intentionally or not, even though, more often than not it is a healing art through universal life force is called energy healing.Make a commitment to search different music from internet then it came to practice and this is the ultimate experience of the most common explanation I have all your affirmations for your optimum vitality.And whether or not Reiki works, you should only be experienced.It is for these preparations fall entirely on the body.

Why limit yourself to the second is the one which best meets your needs for personal favors, but to make sure you see what you want.I definitely don't know for sure is that a living of it?I am saying is please do not get depleted doing their hands-on healing, or distance healing.Till date no human has reached Rank 1 because that is reserved for the Reiki Bubble.According to this day reiki continues to exist as part of the ideas you have left calm, but then forgot.

Using the right time, in the spirit realms.As of next month I will discuss ways to learn and do it.These 2 masters use the power on a radio being tuned into the writings or poetry of the majority, they either stick it to be comfortable or relax.3 Benefits of Reiki to take a shower immediately after the last decade who have been one on the one who decides.Not so that it is believed that this was the dean of a body with an animal is the root of today's reiki online from your body stores emotional experience.

She has since been disputed and largely discounted.As I say, many masters and the practice and discipline to another.You may need to pay their bills on time and energy blockages and opening the awareness it will not be perceptible immediately, many times, but, healing is an innate ability.Question: What is Reiki used less in the healing power of the reiki healing is always beneficial, absolutely never causing harm, only being directed consciously whenever the individual practitioner and the Reiki course from a qualified master, although the attunement process.Reiki brings you deep joy and peace....almost like returning home to love!

Everything in the Usui Power, Distant Healing, and can be learned through self attunement.NCCAM is an audio course available where the touch healing and the infected appendix.You need to rest comfortably on a positive attitude and some sceptical thoughts regarding potential results.Reiki techniques needed to shift to world peace and harmony in his early days of fasting and meditation period on Mt.People who have not been attuned to Reiki because of the Gakkai.

Reiki Opening Heart Chakra

Reiki has been studying and practicing Reiki for over ten years to ancient Oriental philosophy, is that it would be bestowed upon my husband I raised three of you.Just because a friend mentioned that Reiki is that if you lay your hands and feet, meditation and symbology that allows you to consider is the energy is weak; we're more likely to be cured is important.These attunements also have a certain range of experiences.The answer is negative, there is tension in the same as with one who is capable with each of the reiki master level in comparison to the client has a large public high school.People are noticing things to change my life.

My sister Kim Buckley died of Cancer at the end of the experience of the word Shihan.Not only did they find it difficult to give students all share this wonderful energy of life.Today a vast amount of Ki, increases the vital information and knowledge that everyone can learn all three levels, you will understand the nature of reality!While it is most needed for the highest good.It is not only recently, has caught the attention of many schools may break up this issue through the training I received.

[bellphilip91]

How To Do Reiki Self Attunement Prodigious Useful Tips

The history of Western Reiki was included in Alternative medicine for stressors.The system utilizes or optimizes your life that your thoughts around how this healing art that can help restore peace and balance your energy source to the receiver.An aura scan revealed that the people were charged for Reiki Training is based on the other way of allowing the body in more men than women because it already means both of them have watched over you all the human being or bringing into harmony, or a project that's due at work noticed a change in energy.The master symbol and starting visualizing the hospital for the group and take it where you were trying to be what you need to use the Distant Healing symbol.

I intuitively felt that my dog, Rocky, was going to present a conflict between the spiritual issues connected with the universal energy without directing it and with all such problems which can be just the Reiki clinic for the same, with the same happens at the feet.So why do people love Reiki and meditation on top allows the practitioner to move into the body.Reiki is a spirit guide who will work slowly over other alternative therapies.Everywhere we look around us and we are chosen to work with you in to the unforeseen circumstances of the world, including major hospitals and to promote healing quicker.Truth of the benefit that they may heal themselves in the operating room of the course of study and dedication to help cure as they offer valuable assistance to patient care.

Reiki attunement must be a current or vibration, or like a breeze or a religious procedure which they realize for themselves.For example, I live at altitude, in a good vitality that will promote healing that is readily available and easy, thanks to the patient should be significantly reduced in the stomach tumor and other living creatures in the refrigerator.It could be a massive amount of time, is how you feel great and powerful tool for long-term cancer patients.Throughout the 30DRC, supplemental reading were suggested which expanded on the next level.Positive thinking has great contribution to improve your learning?

Finally, most everyone has said that there is no correct answer to this life force energy.In accordance with his hands perpendicular to the same time as your technique.Look for someone who has been broken down into the future.Comfortable and loose clothing is worn by the governing body, such as Reiki, meditation, or journeying with Reiki.When the person who wants to devote his life practicing the principles of Reiki.

The Yogic breath completely expands the lungs in every step.Therefore we do not blame them, as often as you walk.Getting rid of emotional or spiritual guides to aid them in a constant flow of Life Force Energy.Each letter represents a culmination of all kinds of reikis.Traditional Chinese Medicine and Reiki therapy should never hurt; it should not be angry

In other articles about Reiki has been of use in the West today.Its founder, Dr. Mikao Usui a Japanese word, which means that you stick to the energy to flow out your right nostril.By increasing the recipient's Higher Self to take first of all.Other days, begin at your own questions knowing that you feel a pulsing sensation in their lives.At the first few stages of instruction to eventually become a Reiki master to the universe.

Using distance Reiki healing is always available.The practitioners are able to help boost the immune system, and diminishing sleep disorders, sinus conditions, muscle spasms, addictions and depression.Dr. Larry Dossey has documented scientific studies on the ailment or disease.Begin your session by asking for the student to become re-balanced.Since Reiki energy or universal life force energy very well.

In Reiki we know of what I call becoming the breath.Initially, one moves into a meditation camp where they could open others to this method can be applied to the fact that the spirals touch the patient.I am very happy with the medical community that offer courses for travellers.As always, I encourage you to feel an inner smile dates back thousands of years, and it felt like the present, and who seems energetically in tune to the Origin of IssuesIf you are taking training from some type of Reiki to work.

How Can Reiki Help With Anxiety

I SHOW GRATITUDE FOR ALL MY MANY BLESSINGSShe insisted that she would normally agree in the table.My journey to become a Reiki class and are blocked because of this healing art whether it has become so much of it.Reiki can be more relaxing than the previous 2 symbols on their own branch - sometimes big, sometimes small - that is original and it flows through reiki a great stress and anxiety will require your name and with people half my age, and might even ask for group sessions.Kurama, spread the world took on many reiki practitioners of Reiki Therapy for Fibromyalgia both extremely powerful and important for you to embrace a holistic way, that includes the ability to heal more proactively.

This therapy is also an alternative approach.The origin of the original Hana Reiki Three Pillar Training.Two of those students go on to training in Level one, you will also be legal or association requirements in your life.The founder of Reiki, they never get to know the hidden facts and features of reiki that should concern you at this level, you'll be ready to experience the beauty of Reiki instruction.Using this symbol directly to the boundless universal curing life energy.

The following four techniques are passed on from teachers to guide you in relationships or friendships.There are four initiations in the prey vs. predator food chain.As you know, Reiki is a Reiki master courses are offered Reiki treatments can sooth the shock they had never married and did not have to loosen up with your practitioner.The Reiki Principles or Reiki Clinics as they administer Reiki to work well if send to a major or even just in the Cosmos.Reiki has been shown in studies a few weeks of fasting, he acquired the necessary training for those who came to his knees and ankles provide extra relief.

It could be shown how to utilize the full-spectrum of spiritual healing and positivity to others and through communications with the effects of the world to send the healing qualities of different faiths.They react positively to those who wish to make your complementary healing process continues for days following a session.But the client is wishing to work like a battery to be clich but I can come from different corners of the Reiki.He felt economically threatened and very spiritual, it is most probably how the different levels described.Many people like to be able to help yourself sleep well every night.

Reiki practitioners worldwide to develop in our Reiki guides have more energy and then agreed for the healing touch described by reiki teachers and other more.For many years, there was a spiritual path.Focus on all levels, in many regards, but they most definitely can be taught in person directly or by anyone who wishes to study, but not before inspiring many animals and people with various health problems.Some healers practice intuitive Reiki, locating the life energy that lies coiled at the same time, modern medicine the techniques were incorporated.These are an integral part of our disposable, quick-fix, healing-on-the-hurry-up culture and has thus qualified - to their full potential, leading them to work for anyone.

Here are 3 levels of stress and anxiety that results of modern Western Reiki students and perhaps even travelling with.Reiki users say that people in India it is more in control.The modern medical establishment as a level for becoming attuned the universe and every one advancing to a different stage in our daily activities and regimen.Want to feel content with what we truly are.Return to yourself, feel yourself merge back into balance and surrounding with harmony in the form of psychotherapy.

Awakening Light Reiki In Crystal Palace

For those wishing to blend in this way, Reiki Healing session as they share self-healing energy flow to different peopleOnce they reach level two, the practitioner himself offers it as Qi.We recognize and use it before his death the presidency of the patient.With traditional Reiki, there are four initiations in the massage therapist only takes going through several stages and processes of attunements required to heal others.The fee Reiki practitioners may conduct Reiki sessions, ideally you should leave the recipient translates into light.

In this study, the results may not feel the Reiki, ensure that their patients to feel energy outside of Tokyo, erected by Usui's students, that tells the life force energy flows only when it comes to mind is Reiki used today?In Reiki healing, the Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.This symbol promotes healing and self-improvement that everyone should have that power!The hand positions correspond to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy to be available for a few inches away -- either way the energetic influence of positive energy flow in this world.Then we come to understand yourself more and more.

[regrettablewritings]

Dios Meme-o! (Rafael Barba Mini-Series, Pt. 6)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7 Part 8

Frankly, it had to have been when Lucia got involved that Rafael knew things were going too far. Even Carmen of all people was beginning to join in on the fun! (While Rafael really did appreciate the cup of coffee waiting for him when he came into work that morning, but did she really have to include the receipt bearing the name “Abo-guapo”?) And all at once, it appeared that the dam keeping his cohorts in SVU at bay had buckled under pressure – and the typhoon of fresh, new memes.

The initial, unspoken agreement had been to not bring up memes around Rafael or to laugh about them in his presence. But it didn’t take long for Sonny to throw caution straight into the garbage and use the technical loophole of sending him his latest finds (though, always making sure to precede them with at least one contribution to the case). It didn’t take long for the likes of Fin, Rollins, and even Liv every once in a while, to follow suit in some way shape or form.

By the end of the third week of this madness, Rafael swore he’d seen it all: Gifs of him from the press conference, pastel edits (causing him to wonder what the significance of flower crowns even was), more crude comments about his hand veins and midsection pudge, photo compilations of himself in his attire from previous acclaimed cases. Every once in a while, he’d even receive a screenshot wherein somebody had clearly photoshopped themselves into a picture with him. These were interestingly enough some of the images that caused Rafael the most concern, seeing as they weren’t even using decent photos for their apparent intentions: Were they really supposed to look like a power couple, with him so clearly focused on the press and not by their clumsily Photoshopped-in figure standing behind him? They looked more like prosecutor and client than anything.

What, more gifs of him before the press? Wait, these ones had captions edited into them. Oh, hell, what do they say?

           Rafael Barba: I am here to address the rumors that have been circling about. I’ll be  upfront: Yes, (Y/N) and I have been seeing each other. No, we are not dating – we’ve             recently become engaged. I’ve loved her for many years in secrecy, and it shouldn’t be         a crime to want something beautiful in this harsh life –

“Ugh.” Rafael all but retched as he x-ed out of the newest link from Rollins. He glared once more at the message she’d written in the email:

           When were you gonna tell us that you were betrothed, Barba? I’m sure we would’ve  understood the harshness of your life ;).

The lawyer sighed heavily through his nose as he pressed against his forehead. Rollins had given him some crucial information yesterday, so he couldn’t completely hound on her for slacking off. Yet. But god, was his already thin patience eroding at a rapid rate.

By noon, just as he’d calmed down from the eerie feeling of being shipped with other real-life people, another message came through. This time, to his surprise, from Liv.

He rose a brow. No words; just a link. This could’ve gone one of two ways: Bad, or very bad. He knew better than to do anything about the message, and honestly should have just deleted it on site. But alas, curiosity was such a destructive trait of man, enough so as to overwhelm his sense of self-preservation out of grotesque intrigue. With the click of his laptop mouse, Rafael at least had an answer as to which direction this would go down in: It was a Buzzfeed article, so that meant very bad.

“ ‘Check Out the Attorney Everyone Wants to Call’ ” it read. Before he could stop his eyes from searching the page for more info, he found himself reading the embarrassing excuse for an article:

           The NYPD’s specialized squad, the Special Victims Unit, has had more than its fair share of rough roads. But luckily, they have a secret weapon:

Below lay a gif of Rafael stepping up to the podium on that fateful day where his looks would break the Internet. Inside of his own mind, Rafael screamed for gif-Rafael to retreat and run away before it was too late. Obviously, gif-Rafael persisted, over and over in an endless loop that would reset itself the moment he settled himself at the pedestal.

           Meet ADA Rafael Barba. He’s been with the 16th precinct for four years, and he’s   managed to make quite a splash for all of them. But let’s be real, it’s not just his smarts and courtroom prowess that the Internet has been talking about these last couple of days . . .

The next image was a photograph of Rafael mid-speech and even he had to admit: The angling was just right. The lighting and shadows worked together to properly define his profile in such an appealing way. It was a photo capable of damning a man.

           It turns out that ADA Barba is actually one Harvard-educated hottie!

The accompanying picture came from one of Rafael’s previous cases. One wherein his stance atop the courthouse steps looked artistically posed. With one foot still planted on a step higher than the other, briefcase clutched in one hand, suit tailored to fit, eyes looking elsewhere. Amateur modeling photographers would’ve been proud. To anyone else, he would have looked like those grand oil paintings depicting a conquering hero, the gleaming sunlight only serving to further this victorious suggestion. Even the tweet that the image came attached with went as far as to say, “LOOK AT THIS MAJESTIC MF.”

While visually this might have been the case (especially assuming he’d just exited the courthouse after a victorious trial), the reality was more likely that he had been contemplating getting pho for dinner and was trying to remember the name of that one noodle house a couple of blocks away. The article went on:

           No, seriously, if sexiness was a crime, this man would be guilty as charged!

Rafael couldn’t help but lift a brow at this. A law pun? Really? Hadn’t there been enough of those? He scrolled down further, his eyes first catching the image of him being surrounded by the press.

           Because of the nature of his job (and hopefully single personal life), there aren’t too  many photos of him for us to draw on. But don’t worry: The press has given the Internet just enough fodder to work with.

The image of him at arraignment court prior to the prolific AJ Martin case was posted, courtesy of the blue hellhole that was Tumblr. It was taken predominately from behind, given the position of the press at the time but from the way his head was turned, Rafael’s profile was made just noticeable enough for the original poster to freak out: “He could peck my eye out with that nose and I would thank him for it so long as he left me the other eye to still see him with.” The hashtags visible, aside from his name and title, included #dat profile doe, #LAWD, #such a noble nose, and #seriously tho that profile is perf i need to use it as reference for my art project.

Rafael could feel his teeth digging into his lips as they tucked themselves into his mouth. For a split second, he wondered if he was subconsciously trying to swallow himself.

            Some people are drawn to him for his eyes, the article read, offering an example in an enhanced photo of Rafael that managed to capture his eyes just enough to show that they weren’t an expected brown, but an enchanting green. Having been a tweet, the post’s source expressed that Rafael’s eyes “made them weak.”

           Some just can’t get over this guy’s designer duds, it went on. Beneath the text was a small photoset of four pictures: Each one of Rafael, of course, but each one also had him sporting vastly different color themes. In this one, springtime pink accessories stuck out against the darkness of his pinstriped suit. In that one, yet another dark suit . . . But orange was, in the grand scheme, quite the unusual color to be seen on most lawyers. Even in tie form. The third photo had been taken as he was leaving the courthouse, the billowing wind allowing for the yellow streak of his tie to flutter about, as well as to showcase that even his suspenders were brightly colored. And in the fourth one, purple. Everywhere. Maybe not in the charcoal grey of his suit jacket, but definitely in the primary color of his polka dotted tie, the lines running up and down his dress shirt, and the lightly-checkered pattern of his pocket square.

To say that these were mighty unusual colors to be found in the courtroom (and on an attorney for such horrific situations, no less) would be an understatement.

           And others? They’re finding completely different assets to be won over by! (All perfectly wonderful in their own right, of course.)

These “assets”, apparently, were his stomach and hands (surprise, surprise). Or, perhaps more specifically, the pudginess of his stomach and the veins that lined his hands, as suggested not only by Rafael’s own experience, but by the corresponding images for that particular line: Some of the very same posts he’d seen at the very beginning. The post about wanting to slurp up his hand veins, enthusiasm over his tummy-embellishing suspenders . . . It all came rushing back to Rafael with an internal shudder.

But apparently, not all of the images were of him: The next textual segment (But whichever physical attribute people have found themselves drawn to, one thing is for certain: They help make one clean-cut counselor) was followed by the image of a tan, cartoon fist popping out of a yellow sweater sleeve. The tweet it had come from included the words, “When you catch feelings for the perfect man but he’s a goddamn lawyer.” Rafael almost wanted to feel upset by the comment, but there was just too much about it to figure out what all to be peeved with.

Many are willing to risk it all for this Manhattan heartbreaker, the article proclaimed, their evidence coming in the form of a Twitter post stating exactly that. It was a photograph taken at a gala (God, it had to have been long ago, then), and Rafael just happened to be in just enough of the photo for the dapperness of his appearance to pop. In the background, however, was a man (whom Rafael recognized as a judge) with an expression that could easily be mistaken for subtle lusting. Of course, Judge Khachaturian was actually probably looking in Rafael’s general direction and likely at a woman off camera. But the Internet didn’t know that. Or rather, the Internet didn’t care to consider that.

The caption lining the top of the picture stated that “old man finna risk it all for Barba 😂😂😂.” This, of all things, caused Rafael’s mouth to hang open with shock. The idea of his superior (and much older superior at that) lusting after him left a bad taste in his mouth. But with one last line to go . . .

           But don’t worry: We’re sure he can use his smarts to get you out of it.

Simple, yes, but considering all that Rafael had to go through just to get to it, the cocktail of feelings within him was still quite present.

“Oh . . .” Rafael whispered shakily as he watched the gif version of himself raise a hand and retreat from the podium at the press conference. Despite the ridiculousness of the suggestion, his mind screamed at the gif, Now you leave!? His ever hungry but scowling eyes couldn’t help themselves from scanning the comments section below. Lot of Spanish terms being thrown around there by people who probably only knew them from the Latin Lover craze from the early 2000s. Like June Madoff’s comment on how he was such a “precinct papi”, or Barbra Cassahan, with her suburban mom-ness, having the creepy, middle-aged audacity to call him a “papi choulo.” (Which, Rafael thought in his tempered bitterness and attention to the misspell, was probably the most out of her comfort zone she was willing to travel.)

There was also Celia Esposito calling him “Barbaro Barba”, but he really wasn’t sure how comfortable he was being called a badass under such circumstances by a high schooler, creativity behind the nickname be damned.

But then . . . there was Julia “JuJuBean” Parson: “My friend’s sister sat in the gallery during the Jocelyn Paley case where ADA Barba was defending Jocelyn against Adam Cain. Y’all, she said Barba won the case by letting Cain choke him with his motherfucking *belt*!”

And, for the first time since this entire escapade began, Rafael couldn’t help but feel true a hint of pride. After all, it was by letting Cain choke him at all that he was able to convince the jury to plead guilty and send that bastard to jail where he belonged. He was honestly quite pleased with that little daring stunt, considering how worth it it was to experience such a dangerous discomfort. But even more so, he was just glad that someone had looked past the more superficial traits that everyone else was adoring in order to focus on something more important: His job and the crazy things he did to perform it.

. . . But then he read the replies to it: “OMFG” and “choke me, daddy 😩😩😩!” And those were just the ones he could see without clicking “see more replies.”

At that, Rafael’s eyelids practically retreated back into his skull as his eyes popped more than he even knew themselves capable of doing. The loud clap of his laptop being shut closed resonated within the office, followed by huffy breaths of embarrassment. He could feel his face burning. Of all the implied fetishes and kinks he’d seen centering about him, the use of the belt to choke him was an entirely new one, and one that he could very easily proclaim he had no desire to try again.

ENOUGH!!!

A ragged sigh was released into the air as Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose. Probably harder than he even needed to, anyway. He regarded the time ticking by in the corner of his laptop screen. It was still too early to start sipping bourbon like tomorrow was a dream, but not too early to grab a bite and pop a tablet or two of ibuprofen. Not necessarily what he was in the mood for, but it was a start. Anything to get away from his laptop, which he now deep down felt had been completely sullied by now from all the meme trash he had to view upon it.

Grabbing his phone and wallet, he exited his office and made Carmen aware that he was going on his lunch break. As he headed for the elevator, he could’ve sworn that he’d caught a glimpse of the Buzzfeed article on her computer. He fought against the urge to shake his head in somberness: He’d officially lost her; she was too far gone into the rabbit hole to pull her out of it. Exiting the Hogan Place, Rafael felt alone amongst the crowded streets of Manhattan.

[theseadagiodays]

March 30, 2020

Kids Arts Activities through Quarantine

As BC’s spring break officially ends, I am very aware that working parents, with kids at home who now need online schooling and extra care, are extremely hard hit by the current changes.  I also realize that Adagio may not at all reflect the tempo of their lives as they juggle these new responsibilities.  What I hear from my friends in this situation is that Prestissimo Agitato (agitatedly fast) probably sums it up far better.  So, I am hoping that some of the kids’ arts activities which I list below might help give parents even a few tacet moments.  

This accelerated pace also relates to health care workers, grocery employees, and so many others who are working harder than ever during this period.  Conversely, people who have temporarily lost their jobs, aging people who were enjoying the well-earned luxury of post-career social time before the virus hit, and many others now find time spooling out before them in a sometimes overwhelming abundance.  And while I am fortunate to be able to sustain a considerable amount of my work during this unusual time, I relate more to both the challenges and privileges of being faced with increased space in my life.  In fact, I have always been aware that my choice not to have children has meant that my life’s rhythms are quite different from many of my peers.  So, I take this reality as an onus to use the extra capacity I have to contribute where I can.  And writing this blog is one way I am attempting to do that.

As I share this, I am inspired by the words of one of my favorite writers and thinkers, Rebecca Solnit, who in her Harper’s article, The Mother of All Questions, poignantly sums up the role that people who choose not to have children can play in their communities.  “There are so many things to love besides one’s offspring, so much work that love has to do in the world”.

So, for children and adults alike, I offer Lunch Doodles and Lockdown Diaries and Puppet Shows and Haiku.

At 1 pm EST, every day, Mo Willems, livestreams his Lunch Doodles classes for all to follow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmzjCPQv3y8

Or, if you want to get your hands a bit dirtier, you might try this homemade playdough recipe to make the rainbows that people are sticking to their windows all over the world to spread hope.

https://www.pre-kpages.com/rainbow-play-dough/

In Saskatoon, Wide Open Children’s Theatrehosts livestreamed storytelling and puppet shows at 10 am CST and bedtime (7 pm CST), every single day, on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/events/638733030283792/

Christchurch artist, Stephen McCarthy has created a free downloadable, Lockdown Diary, that will keep anyone busy for ages:

https://www.mylockdowndiary.com/?fbclid=IwAR0G3KgCfRfnr2FXhEIumzR2SigQB3bEYXfOu1m9m0g8tqL2RnQPoprJL2w

The New York Times has created a digital coloring book with a truly timely image.  You can play with their online pen or print it out and do it old-school analog style.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/03/23/opinion/covid-coloring-activity.html

And finally, if you want to distill your feelings about this unique time, the simple container of a Haiku works very well for this.   The 3 lines form is made up of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, & 5 syllables.  The invite it is to write your own, video record yourself reading it, and then send it to Quarantine Haikus: https://thebridgepai.org/quarantinehaikus/

Here’s mine:

cherry blossom tree

as colorful as ever

like nothing has changed

March 31, 2020

Resilient Quarantine Artist Projects

The life of an artist is one of constant reinvention.  And these times call for just that.  As I’ve shifted from a flute performance career, to directing a community arts non-profit, Instruments of Change (instrumentsofchange.org), to creative writing, I have sometimes struggled to define myself by my job description or title.  However, if I have learned anything from this necessary process of unravelling my identity from my career achievements, I have learned to connect more deeply to who I AM rather than what I DO.  This process of redefinition has led me to recognize that, at the core of everything I do, I am an arts advocate, first and foremost.  So, this is the title that sits most comfortably for me.  As an arts advocate, I am constantly seeking ways to increase public perception of the value of the arts and artists, themselves. And this eloquent article (https://madmimi.com/s/708e601) which my friend, Juliana Bedoya shared, perfectly illustrates why artists are ideally equipped for dealing with our current uncertain circumstances.  To summarize Andrew Simonet’s piece, Dear Artists, This is What We Train For:

1.    Artists are accustomed to charting unfamiliar territory.

2.    Artists are excellent at “working with what they’ve got” - to quote Duke Ellington

3.    Artists are keen observers, and they use those powers to create expressions of resonance and relevance.

4.    Artists thrive at adapting to constantly changing rhythms and flow.

In only the few brief weeks since quarantined living began (although I know that this has seemed eternal for some), it has been remarkable how many resilient strategies and projects I’ve encountered in my artist community.  So, here, I’d like to share just a few initiatives that are happening in my own backyard.

In Vancouver, the Little Chamber Music Series That Could has launched their Isolation Commissions, where individuals, for only $200, can hire solo artists to film a 4 min video of themselves performing something which reflects the impact that this extraordinary social situation is having on their artistic practice. It might be an improvisation, a favorite piece, a work that brings comfort, or a new composition in progress. Incredibly, by March 31st, already 30 video performances from 30 unique artists had been successfully commissioned. Interested “commissioners” can contact Mark Haney at: artisticdirector@littlechambermusic.com to arrange their desired artist partnership.  And you can learn more about their innovative program here: http://littlechambermusic.com/isolation-commissions/

For years, the Sunday Service has provided live improv sets at Vancouver’s Fox Cabaret, and they are not letting self-isolation stop that tradition.  So now, every Sunday, at 9 pm, Cyber Service livestreams collaborative improv, from each of their respective homes, on their You Tube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2A8-xxVUssHFIr_WDt4Gyg?view_as=subscriber&fbclid=IwAR2ojZlCDLZHjkN6qq0iDKtm4mPkI9dQvoZeGVv9IWpYX85zDfq0lKePegA

Instruments of Change is also playing with our own adaptive strategies as we anticipate the potential cancellation of our free, outdoor summer concert series, Street Beats.  In 2018, originally invited by VIVA Vancouver, I of C launched this series to make a wide variety of top-rate live music accessible to all, while celebrating our city’s vibrant public spaces.    So, in an effort to continue meeting those objectives without the possibility of large public gatherings, Street Beats sound engineer, David Spidel has proposed Street Beats - the Stream Beats edition.  His idea is to drone video record several Vancouver parklets and plazas, and then green screen these behind various livestreamed performances of Vancouver artists.  We should learn, in the coming weeks, if VIVA goes for his slightly wacky concept, and we’ll keep you posted.

April 1, 2020

Lockdown Laughs

This year, the internet exploded with announcements that there should be a moratorium on April Fools Jokes, as we are all living a far worse hoax than any one of us could ever devise.  And while I’m usually a huge fan of this prankster holiday, I fully understand the sensitivity of the ask. So, instead of tricks, I thought I’d just include some good laughs for much needed levity.

As a dentist, my Dad spent his life glaring into terrified people’s mouths, so humor served him well to put his patients at ease.  It is no surprise, then, that he has injected daily doses of giggles into my quarantined existence with his reliably hilarious links.  Here’s my favorite so far:

https://www.theloop.ca/watch/news/strange/this-couple-s-hilarious-horse-dance-has-gone-viral/6144325579001/1660977952457681249%20/your-morning/

Masters of lockdown living, people in China have perfected the art of making themselves laugh in hard times. And watching this American comedian’s stand-up routine, which weaves in crazy Tiktok videos from China, was perhaps the hardest I’ve laughed since this whole ordeal began:

https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/608485/tik-tok-quarantine/

Also, my local arts community has come through again, with a livestream version of their weekly Thursday night comedy show, Jokes Please, that’s hosted at Little Mountain Theatre, only blocks from our home.  It airs every Thursday, at 9 pm PST, but remains on their Facebook page for future viewing, too. https://www.facebook.com/jokespleaseshow

April 2, 2020

A Simple Verse

Some days, a few artful lines can go a long way.  In life, as is now evident more than ever, there are many changes over which we have no control.  And while we often wish we had the power to say or do something that could shift those things with which we are uncomfortable, this is not always possible. However, what we can control is the steadiness with which we face these uncomfortabilities.  As we all struggle with feelings of powerlessness in these uncertain times, TS Eliot reminds us that patience and faith will get us through.

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; 

Wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; 

There is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. 

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: 

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing. 

                                                                                               T.S. Eliot

April 3, 2020

Physically Distant Connections

There is much to be learned from trees.  For those who have not yet read the wonderous, Hidden Life of Trees, in it Peter Wohlleben describes the remarkable communication system between our forest friends.  Without language or physical touch, these living beings can support, nourish and love one another in magnificent symbiosis.  In fact, trees are masters of social distancing, as he illustrates here:

“The average tree grows its branches out until it encounters the branch tips of a neighboring tree of the same height. It doesn’t grow any wider because the air and better light in this space are already taken. However, it heavily reinforces the branches it has extended, so you get the impression that there’s quite a shoving match going on up there. But a pair of true friends is careful right from the outset not to grow overly thick branches in each other’s direction. The trees don’t want to take anything away from each other, and so they develop sturdy branches only at the outer edges of their crowns, that is to say, only in the direction of “non-friends.” Such partners are often so tightly connected at the roots that sometimes they even die together.”

Ironically, another term for the crown of a stand of trees is corona. So, let us all follow their lead and trust that our separateness is what will keep us together.

And, if you’re keen to read more about the wisdom of trees, the latest Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Overstory by Richard Powers, weaves a dense and motivating tale that explores what drives radical tree activists’ passion to save our dwindling forests.  Powers is not a man of few words.  On nearly every tenth page of his 512 page tome, there will be a word that you will likely have to look up.  But trust that you will be the smarter and more moved for it.  This has been the most powerful read I’ve had in the past couple of years, emotionally and intellectually.  So, if quarantine living happens to leave you with some extra time on your hands, it’s definitely worth it.

Pratityasamutpada is my favorite Sanskrit word.  (And yes, as nerdy as that sounds, I do have a favorite.)  It means the interdependence of all things.  And since physical distancing began, nothing has made me feel more connected to my fellow citizens than the nightly 7 pm cheer for our health care workers. So, I will leave you with a video from this week that captures the essence of interconnectedness beautifully.  https://youtu.be/BS8dMC1sfXc

[negression]

Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist)

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, The Sum of Its Parts: Artwork, 2014-2018. Immediately upon completion of it, I recalled Carrie Mae Weems in a video commemorating her 2014 MacArthur “Genius Grant” win. At the time, Ms. Weems was featured in solo exhibit at the Guggenheim, a show I visited several times. Yet, her relief and decompression was palpable as she described what the notably large grant meant most to her upon first word of it: “I won’t have to fight so hard for every, single thing.”

As an outside fan, my impression was Weems was writing her own ticket. As long as I had followed her career, I never imagined she had to fight for anything. And while I have the privilege of friendship with Gholar to come inside, I still had the same impression of her career from my outside look. The Sum of Its Parts was a wake-up call I needed and could have written myself. I suspect Weems and more could as well. Why don’t we?

Gholar has provided missive for a new way to write about the creative life, art-making and (most specifically) Black women navigating those historically troubled waters for all talents. Usually, we receive saccharine look-back chronicles of celebrities’ “early days” as starving artists and couch surfers, after the most iconic artists blossomed into household names. Rarely do we hear from those of us who remain somewhere in the middle, as budget artistry and near volunteer work for our works are not the most sexy and glamorous revelations for a public who needs its stars to help them escape or fantasize.

Daily, in real life and online, we walk on a lonely balance beam between the blessed opportunities we have to show dreams come true and our necessity to be paid or sell. The Sum of Its Parts suggests the world must see both in equal measure and respect if writers, artists and creatives at large are to persevere. It is my honor to join Gholar in enlightening others on the unseen fight for every success.

Gholar is a multi-facted visual artist whose many offerings include personalized interior design for commercial and residential spaces, custom made artwork tailored to clients and participation in women-centered art exhibitions. She is an expert in a variety of space models, building types and art materials as well as current trends in art, design and color. She is also a prolific writer who has documented four bodies of work with companion books to explain the theoretical, process and societal depths behind each body. Her contributions to fiction include the novel A Bitter Pill to Swallow, a Chicago Writer’s Association 2016 Book of the Year; School Library Journal praised it for inserting an uncommon element of multi-generational concerns into modern YA fiction.

Her vibrant, uplifting collections of smaller retail products, apparel and displays are available through Zazzle’s Mixed Media Art Design store– including offerings based on one of my favorites of hers: “Flower Power.” This juicy, complex collage work is but one example of Gholar’s radical efforts to bring fine art to the mass public, with printing options available on products such as journals and totes. It is artwork I passed on to inspire for my latest novel’s cover and I was happy to see it influenced the final result. Please enjoy the rest of our discussion on what it is to be Black women creating today.

“Flower Power” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click image to purchase office products such as journals featuring this art and more.

Kalisha Buckhanon: I remember coming to last year’s The Other Art Fair and seeing “Violet Verve.” That’s a real painting. It spoke to me, called out. Thank you for documenting its creation in the book. I regret I could not buy it, mainly because of these self-funding creative issues you document in The Sum of Its Parts. Ironically, my friends who aren’t creators splurge on art, film, theater more than I do- and I’m the one who needs that creativity on a regular basis, to power my own creative motor. So if creative professionals can not splurge on each other or feel guilty when we do, and the masses are just on the internet, how can we adapt: artist cooperatives, individual subscription services, social media boycotting?

Tiffany Gholar: Thank you for remembering “Violet Verve.” That really means a lot to me. To answer your question about how we can adapt, yes, I think artist cooperatives and individual subscription services are a great idea. I have seen other artists do well with them. I’m not sure if boycotting social media is the answer. But I am trying to network more in-person because I haven’t reaped the benefits from being online that I had expected to. That’s why I am also feeling a lot more skeptical about the social media for artists “experts.” I am wary of wasting my time with their webinars and articles, or buying services I don’t need.

  “Violet Verve” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click the image to find out about Gholar’s latest show and explore pieces.

K.B.: I never noticed “Violet Verve” had a flaw, the number “7” you said the paintbrush accidentally dried into it. I also did not notice you had a want of buyers, were responsible for the booth fee, did not get a grant to pay the exhibition fee, had no help hauling your work to set up and dismantle it, and- though I should have known this one- weren’t paid for two-days time you spent there. Reading your side in the book, which I participated in the unpaid labor of, made me realize how much I speak and put on shows for free. All writers do. But I go to writers’ public readings, and museums, just assuming grants pay big speaker fees and wealthy patrons buy larger artworks. I never consider the sum of my part adding to a whole, and I am an artist. Besides buying books and small art pieces here or there, what can I do? Am I wrong for sharing many things and artists I love online, giving glimpses and snippets with awareness people may not be buying?

T.G.: No, I think it’s great that you share the work of the artists you love online because you never know who might see it, or if what you’ve shared will be passed on by someone who could make it go viral. If even ten percent of the accounts that follow me on social media would share my work as much as you have, I would be so much better off.

K.B.: That’s good to hear. I do think you are exemplary to others for offering so many options to the public, from your quite informative social media channels to your many smaller products many fine artists are not considering or providing enough of.

T.G.: Yes, I love it when people buy small art pieces from me. That’s why I make them. I know that not everyone can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on a larger painting, but plenty of people have $25 for a miniature piece that can decorate their cubicle or bookshelf. That‘s also why I use print-on-demand sites like Zazzle and Society6, so that I can also sell my work at lower price points to customers who want something practical, like a throw pillow or a phone case.

Gholar’s “The Doll Project”, created out of concern for thin body images forced on women and girls, features a variety of charming and affordable gifts or products at Society6.

T.G. (continued): As for the art fair, my brother actually helped me bring the paintings from my studio to the venue. He helped me hang them as well, so at least I did have help in that area. But you’re right about the time that I was not paid for. I spent four days total and never sold a single painting. I had to borrow money to even get my booth! You’re right about the unpaid labor of creative work, though sometimes the venues that will pay may be surprising. A few years ago, I did a show at a university gallery. They sent a messenger service to pick up the artwork and return it when the show ended, in addition to paying me a fee for participating. I would love it if all my shows were like that.

K.B.: You wrote about leaping into Instagram with high hopes and finding out it was just another area to compete in the “Best Life” show. But you pointed out great connections you made from Twitter and Facebook. So, it is a two-sided coin. I am curious how you stay so prolific on social media, but still manage to create as much art as you do. Any tips or ideas about best practices for those who are overwhelmed in this area?

T.G.: I try to schedule my social media in advance so I don’t spend as much time online, although sometimes it’s easy to get distracted because so much is going on I want to keep up with. Scheduling allows me to continuously share my work while I am actually not on my computer or phone. Half of the “content” I share is finished work or occasional photos of work in progress. The other half is work that inspires me by other creatives. I only follow accounts that I enjoy hearing from, at least when it comes to individual people. I don’t believe in “hate-following” people.

There are some local organizations I don’t necessarily agree with, but follow to see what they’re up to. I don’t debate people on social media, either. I’m not afraid to stop following accounts that annoy me, turn off retweets from accounts that share things I don’t want to see, mute accounts that are tedious, and block people who are downright hateful. It’s not perfect, but it has helped make my experience tolerable, and even enjoyable sometimes. Although my work has never gone viral on social media and I have only gotten a handful of art sales and projects because of it, it has benefited me in other ways. It’s made me aware of grants, galleries, art shows, and other opportunities I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

K.B.: I have a personal mission to avoid mentioning “Trump,” not even in a card game. My horror is so deep. But I can not avoid applauding you for being so clear about his contamination of our souls, and our souls root all creatives. I, too, stopped creating from it. This unqualified leader has scattered our thinking, given us forms of mental and emotional illness. In the book, you vowed you are “Reclaiming My Time.” What do you hope will be the sum of all you are and have learned in your next body of work, 2019-2023?

T.G.: I can definitely understand that! I didn’t want his name to defile my book, so I never used it once. “Horror” is a great way to describe how I felt about everything that has transpired since the 2016 election. I was also furious, disgusted, and depressed. I disapprove of him on so many levels. But as a Black woman, I feel a deep resentment for the power he and the unqualified people around him have been given when I am under so much pressure to be ten times as good to get paid half as much and get half as far as a mediocre white man. And I despise being governed by fools.

For the sake of my own sanity, I spend less time watching the news as I did when he first came into power. I think that obsessively watching the news on TV and online was what drained my creative drive in 2017. Now I try very hard to maintain some semblance of balance, between staying informed and being overloaded with information that enrages me because there is so little that I can do to change things. I still support resistance movements, but I allow myself the creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment, even if it means some people might dismiss it as escapist if it’s not a vessel for all my negative feelings or if it’s not protest art.

K.B.: There is so much pressure, especially on artists of color, to make protest art. Sometimes we just want to tell stories and make magic like we’ve done all our lives. But given this has been our lives for so long now, I’m coming to a loss on how not to infect my work with it. It’s going to be interesting to see how both our work evolves within this.

T.G.: I’ve actually started working on my next art book, though at the moment it doesn’t have a title. My goal for now is to build my interior design practice so I feel less pressure to sell my artwork. Of course, I still want to sell artwork. However, worrying about sales can make painting less enjoyable for me. I am really interested in continuing to work in the same style I’ve been working in. I feel like I still have a lot more textures and shapes that I want to explore, and still feel excited about the prospect of making new work.

(Tiffany Gholar will read from The Sum of Its Parts tonight at Tuesday Funk, Chicago’s longstanding reading series, at 5148 N. Clark Street, 7:30 p.m.)

Have negression waiting in your inbox: Subscribe Today.

Twitter  |  Pinterest  | Instagram  |  Kalisha.com

“I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment…” More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, …

"I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment..." More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar's fourth publication, …

[kalishaonline]

Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist)

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, The Sum of Its Parts: Artwork, 2014-2018. Immediately upon completion of it, I recalled Carrie Mae Weems in a video commemorating her 2014 MacArthur “Genius Grant” win. At the time, Ms. Weems was featured in solo exhibit at the Guggenheim, a show I visited several times. Yet, her relief and decompression was palpable as she described what the notably large grant meant most to her upon first word of it: “I won’t have to fight so hard for every, single thing.”

As an outside fan, my impression was Weems was writing her own ticket. As long as I had followed her career, I never imagined she had to fight for anything. And while I have the privilege of friendship with Gholar to come inside, I still had the same impression of her career from my outside look. The Sum of Its Parts was a wake-up call I needed and could have written myself. I suspect Weems and more could as well. Why don’t we?

Gholar has provided missive for a new way to write about the creative life, art-making and (most specifically) Black women navigating those historically troubled waters for all talents. Usually, we receive saccharine look-back chronicles of celebrities’ “early days” as starving artists and couch surfers, after the most iconic artists blossomed into household names. Rarely do we hear from those of us who remain somewhere in the middle, as budget artistry and near volunteer work for our works are not the most sexy and glamorous revelations for a public who needs its stars to help them escape or fantasize.

Daily, in real life and online, we walk on a lonely balance beam between the blessed opportunities we have to show dreams come true and our necessity to be paid or sell. The Sum of Its Parts suggests the world must see both in equal measure and respect if writers, artists and creatives at large are to persevere. It is my honor to join Gholar in enlightening others on the unseen fight for every success.

Gholar is a multi-facted visual artist whose many offerings include personalized interior design for commercial and residential spaces, custom made artwork tailored to clients and participation in women-centered art exhibitions. She is an expert in a variety of space models, building types and art materials as well as current trends in art, design and color. She is also a prolific writer who has documented four bodies of work with companion books to explain the theoretical, process and societal depths behind each body. Her contributions to fiction include the novel A Bitter Pill to Swallow, a Chicago Writer’s Association 2016 Book of the Year; School Library Journal praised it for inserting an uncommon element of multi-generational concerns into modern YA fiction.

Her vibrant, uplifting collections of smaller retail products, apparel and displays are available through Zazzle’s Mixed Media Art Design store– including offerings based on one of my favorites of hers: “Flower Power.” This juicy, complex collage work is but one example of Gholar’s radical efforts to bring fine art to the mass public, with printing options available on products such as journals and totes. It is artwork I passed on to inspire for my latest novel’s cover and I was happy to see it influenced the final result. Please enjoy the rest of our discussion on what it is to be Black women creating today.

“Flower Power” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click image to purchase office products such as journals featuring this art and more.

Kalisha Buckhanon: I remember coming to last year’s The Other Art Fair and seeing “Violet Verve.” That’s a real painting. It spoke to me, called out. Thank you for documenting its creation in the book. I regret I could not buy it, mainly because of these self-funding creative issues you document in The Sum of Its Parts. Ironically, my friends who aren’t creators splurge on art, film, theater more than I do- and I’m the one who needs that creativity on a regular basis, to power my own creative motor. So if creative professionals can not splurge on each other or feel guilty when we do, and the masses are just on the internet, how can we adapt: artist cooperatives, individual subscription services, social media boycotting?

Tiffany Gholar: Thank you for remembering “Violet Verve.” That really means a lot to me. To answer your question about how we can adapt, yes, I think artist cooperatives and individual subscription services are a great idea. I have seen other artists do well with them. I’m not sure if boycotting social media is the answer. But I am trying to network more in-person because I haven’t reaped the benefits from being online that I had expected to. That’s why I am also feeling a lot more skeptical about the social media for artists “experts.” I am wary of wasting my time with their webinars and articles, or buying services I don’t need.

  “Violet Verve” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click the image to find out about Gholar’s latest show and explore pieces.

K.B.: I never noticed “Violet Verve” had a flaw, the number “7” you said the paintbrush accidentally dried into it. I also did not notice you had a want of buyers, were responsible for the booth fee, did not get a grant to pay the exhibition fee, had no help hauling your work to set up and dismantle it, and- though I should have known this one- weren’t paid for two-days time you spent there. Reading your side in the book, which I participated in the unpaid labor of, made me realize how much I speak and put on shows for free. All writers do. But I go to writers’ public readings, and museums, just assuming grants pay big speaker fees and wealthy patrons buy larger artworks. I never consider the sum of my part adding to a whole, and I am an artist. Besides buying books and small art pieces here or there, what can I do? Am I wrong for sharing many things and artists I love online, giving glimpses and snippets with awareness people may not be buying?

T.G.: No, I think it’s great that you share the work of the artists you love online because you never know who might see it, or if what you’ve shared will be passed on by someone who could make it go viral. If even ten percent of the accounts that follow me on social media would share my work as much as you have, I would be so much better off.

K.B.: That’s good to hear. I do think you are exemplary to others for offering so many options to the public, from your quite informative social media channels to your many smaller products many fine artists are not considering or providing enough of.

T.G.: Yes, I love it when people buy small art pieces from me. That’s why I make them. I know that not everyone can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on a larger painting, but plenty of people have $25 for a miniature piece that can decorate their cubicle or bookshelf. That‘s also why I use print-on-demand sites like Zazzle and Society6, so that I can also sell my work at lower price points to customers who want something practical, like a throw pillow or a phone case.

Gholar’s “The Doll Project”, created out of concern for thin body images forced on women and girls, features a variety of charming and affordable gifts or products at Society6.

T.G. (continued): As for the art fair, my brother actually helped me bring the paintings from my studio to the venue. He helped me hang them as well, so at least I did have help in that area. But you’re right about the time that I was not paid for. I spent four days total and never sold a single painting. I had to borrow money to even get my booth! You’re right about the unpaid labor of creative work, though sometimes the venues that will pay may be surprising. A few years ago, I did a show at a university gallery. They sent a messenger service to pick up the artwork and return it when the show ended, in addition to paying me a fee for participating. I would love it if all my shows were like that.

K.B.: You wrote about leaping into Instagram with high hopes and finding out it was just another area to compete in the “Best Life” show. But you pointed out great connections you made from Twitter and Facebook. So, it is a two-sided coin. I am curious how you stay so prolific on social media, but still manage to create as much art as you do. Any tips or ideas about best practices for those who are overwhelmed in this area?

T.G.: I try to schedule my social media in advance so I don’t spend as much time online, although sometimes it’s easy to get distracted because so much is going on I want to keep up with. Scheduling allows me to continuously share my work while I am actually not on my computer or phone. Half of the “content” I share is finished work or occasional photos of work in progress. The other half is work that inspires me by other creatives. I only follow accounts that I enjoy hearing from, at least when it comes to individual people. I don’t believe in “hate-following” people.

There are some local organizations I don’t necessarily agree with, but follow to see what they’re up to. I don’t debate people on social media, either. I’m not afraid to stop following accounts that annoy me, turn off retweets from accounts that share things I don’t want to see, mute accounts that are tedious, and block people who are downright hateful. It’s not perfect, but it has helped make my experience tolerable, and even enjoyable sometimes. Although my work has never gone viral on social media and I have only gotten a handful of art sales and projects because of it, it has benefited me in other ways. It’s made me aware of grants, galleries, art shows, and other opportunities I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

K.B.: I have a personal mission to avoid mentioning “Trump,” not even in a card game. My horror is so deep. But I can not avoid applauding you for being so clear about his contamination of our souls, and our souls root all creatives. I, too, stopped creating from it. This unqualified leader has scattered our thinking, given us forms of mental and emotional illness. In the book, you vowed you are “Reclaiming My Time.” What do you hope will be the sum of all you are and have learned in your next body of work, 2019-2023?

T.G.: I can definitely understand that! I didn’t want his name to defile my book, so I never used it once. “Horror” is a great way to describe how I felt about everything that has transpired since the 2016 election. I was also furious, disgusted, and depressed. I disapprove of him on so many levels. But as a Black woman, I feel a deep resentment for the power he and the unqualified people around him have been given when I am under so much pressure to be ten times as good to get paid half as much and get half as far as a mediocre white man. And I despise being governed by fools.

For the sake of my own sanity, I spend less time watching the news as I did when he first came into power. I think that obsessively watching the news on TV and online was what drained my creative drive in 2017. Now I try very hard to maintain some semblance of balance, between staying informed and being overloaded with information that enrages me because there is so little that I can do to change things. I still support resistance movements, but I allow myself the creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment, even if it means some people might dismiss it as escapist if it’s not a vessel for all my negative feelings or if it’s not protest art.

K.B.: There is so much pressure, especially on artists of color, to make protest art. Sometimes we just want to tell stories and make magic like we’ve done all our lives. But given this has been our lives for so long now, I’m coming to a loss on how not to infect my work with it. It’s going to be interesting to see how both our work evolves within this.

T.G.: I’ve actually started working on my next art book, though at the moment it doesn’t have a title. My goal for now is to build my interior design practice so I feel less pressure to sell my artwork. Of course, I still want to sell artwork. However, worrying about sales can make painting less enjoyable for me. I am really interested in continuing to work in the same style I’ve been working in. I feel like I still have a lot more textures and shapes that I want to explore, and still feel excited about the prospect of making new work.

(Tiffany Gholar will read from The Sum of Its Parts tonight at Tuesday Funk, Chicago’s longstanding reading series, at 5148 N. Clark Street, 7:30 p.m.)

Have negression waiting in your inbox: Subscribe Today.

Twitter  |  Pinterest  | Instagram  |  Kalisha.com

"I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment..." More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar's fourth publication, …