#potions dispensary

[sweetiebriar]

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

SIGHS i think i should take a tolerance break from weed cause im nervous about my tolerance and i want to be responsible and careful and all that. but according to the internet the best amount of time to take is a MONTH

[elliegoose]

TF potion shop where the potions are all named like they're strains at a weed dispensary

[saintsenara]

What are your thoughts on mediwitches and medical care in the Wizarding World?

thank you very much for the asks, @thesilverstarling and @yorickofyore, which i have handily combined into one for the chance to talk about a worldbuilding question i am legitimately obsessed with:

what the hell is going on with wizarding medicine? part one: the structure of the healthcare system

as i've said here, something which is really interesting when thinking about the wizarding healthcare system is that the signing of the statute of secrecy - the event which causes the total separation of the magical and muggle worlds - in 1689 takes place before a period of considerable advancement in western medicine.

i really like the fact that the canonical worldbuilding around potions suggests that many disciplines of wizarding science are more closely rooted in the medieval and early-modern history of science than their muggle equivalents. i also like the fact that the natural end point of the archaic muggle technology which is used in the series to make the wizarding world seem whimsical by virtue of it being old-fashioned [steam trains etc.] is to assume that wizards live in a world where cutting-edge medical technology is unheard of...

and, therefore, to think of wizarding medicine as a discipline which is meaningfully distinct from its muggle cousin.

and which isn't necessarily more advanced...

the historical context

a muggle physician working in what is now the united kingdom when the statute of secrecy was signed lacked much of what we would take to be basic medical knowledge today, even if he'd studied medicine at a university. he wouldn't know what germs were, for example, and he might still believe that the body was governed by four humours [a theory which was starting to be questioned at the time]. he would never have seen a stethoscope [not invented until 1816]. he would consider the microscope [first used in a scientific context in 1666] bizarre, new-fangled technology - and he is unlikely, especially if he worked outside of london, oxford, or cambridge, to have ever seen one.

he would have had less opportunity to learn about human anatomy, no matter the form his training took, than medical students today. dissections were fairly uncommon, for religious reasons, and surgery didn't really exist as a field... not least because anaesthesia wasn't available until the middle of the nineteenth century.

this is not to say, however, that his anatomical knowledge would have been wrong.

he would probably have relied for his understanding of the inner working of the body on a text called de humani corporis fabrica [on the fabric of the human body], published in the 1540s by the belgian surgeon andreas vesalius. this text - a detailed study of the human body [which supplanted the handbooks in use prior to the sixteenth century - those of the roman physician, galen] - was possible because vesalius managed to obtain a steady supply of executed criminals to dissect. it's a fascinating text - not least because it's still pretty accurate.

as a result, our physician would be aware of many of the major medical discoveries of the later 1500s and 1600s - such as the structure of the musculoskeletal system, the fact that blood circulates in the body, and the fact that the human lungs require the inhalation of air to function.

unless the need for a surgical treatment [such as the extraction of a tooth or the amputation of a limb] was obvious, most of the treatments he would prescribe would be herbal - and his dispensary would include not only plants from all over eurasia, but also from european colonies in the americas.

he might, for example, be found prescribing chocolate... which would make madam pomfrey happy:

“Well, he should have some chocolate, at the very least,” said Madam Pomfrey, who was now trying to peer into Harry’s eyes. “I’ve already had some,” said Harry. “Professor Lupin gave me some. He gave it to all of us.”  “Did he, now?” said Madam Pomfrey approvingly. “So we’ve finally got a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies?”

it's important to note that many of these traditional herbal remedies genuinely work. plenty of modern medicines are developed from them [the most widely known, i imagine, being aspirin], and anyone taking a herbal remedy should be aware that they need to check how this remedy interacts with any other medication or supplements they take [especially - i beg - if the herbal remedy in question is st john's wort...]

but it's also true that our early-modern physician would spend a lot of time prescribing various odd pastes, poultices, potions, and powders, made from ingredients such as stones, spiders' webs, animal blood, and human body parts.

[he might even have recommended some of his patients swallow a bezoar - even if the efficacy of these as a cure for poisoning was starting to be doubted in the seventeenth century...]

and his go-to treatment would - of course - be bloodletting, to remove "bad blood", the cause of myriad ills, from the body.

jkr is - obviously - extremely fond of using these medieval and early-modern remedies as part of the worldbuilding around magical medicine. she's also fond of extending the obsolete technology which is used to make the wizarding world feel whimsical into the realm of the body - wizards wear monocles and use ear trumpets, both of which are assistive devices, because they make the setting feel more magical to a reader in 1997 [and beyond] than glasses and hearing aids.

but there is - if one wants there to be - a sinister undercurrent to the idea that all aspects of wizarding healthcare retain a pre-modern flavour.

wizards do canonically have attitudes towards the body, illness, and disability which, when interrogated, don't seem to have moved on much from the 1680s... which is why this answer is definitely going to end up having a part two, on wizarding attitudes to the body.

for now, though, let's look at how the healthcare system is structured.

the structure of the wizarding healthcare system

the two medical institutions we see in canon - st mungo's and the hogwarts hospital wing - are whimsical pastiches of aspects of the british healthcare system: st mungo's is an nhs hospital [hence the reason it seems to be free - although i think it's interesting for authors to imagine that it isn't...] and the hospital wing is a boarding school infirmary.

st mungo's is immediately familiar to anyone who has worked in a hospital - especially characters like this patient from order of the phoenix:

“And that woman over there,” he indicated the only other occupied bed, which was right beside the door, “won’t tell the Healers what bit her, which makes us all think it must have been something she was handling illegally. Whatever it was took a real chunk out of her leg, very nasty smell when they take off the dressings.”

but the structure of the modern hospital - its departments, its staff - is a post-1689 invention, as are the non-hospital spaces [gp's surgeries, dentist's and optometrist's offices, pharmacies] in which healthcare takes place.

and so how might the places in which healing occurs differ from their muggle equivalents?

st mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries

like any hospital, st mungo's offers a combination of emergency and specialist treatment. it doesn't seem to offer general healthcare - such as check-ups - and it doesn't seem to offer treatment for minor-to-moderate ailments.

this makes sense given its real-world influences - in the uk, most aspects of most people's everyday healthcare are the purview of a general practitioner, and specialists tend not to be seen outside of specific, often more serious contexts.

[for example, i'm a woman in my thirties who has never had an appointment with a gynaecologist - something which shocks american friends. this is because everything to do with reproductive healthcare that i've had to do in my life so far - such as cervical screening - has been done by my gp's surgery.]

st mungo's also doesn't seem to perform general dental or optometrical services. this is also the case in the uk.

we know from canon that it has wards which treat long-term residents - such as the longbottoms. in muggle britain, this wouldn't exactly be the case - nhs trusts manage certain types of residential treatment [such as psychiatric hospitals, or brain-injury rehabilitation centres], which tend to be on separate sites to hospital buildings, but long-term care homes and assisted-living facilities are managed by private companies or local councils. the wizarding population is evidently too small to have any form of local government, so this becoming the purview of the healthcare system makes sense.

what is more interesting, though, is that st mungo's doesn't seem to treat anything which doesn't have a specifically magical cause...

community care

we see in canon that wizards prefer to treat even fairly serious magical conditions in the home [with the hogwarts hospital wing as the pseudo-domestic stand-in] - in the form of ron's fake spattergroit in deathly hallows.

we can also assume, then, that things like birth and death [as well as the treatment of non-magical conditions] also generally take place in the home - and that this is why st mungo's doesn't seem to offer any sort of obstetric care.

and this will have an impact on how wizards understand things like birth, death, and aging which - while not divergent from the muggle understanding of these things historically - would be massively at odds with the muggle attitude contemporarily. only around 2% of births in the uk take place at home, for example - and since around 43% of deaths take place in a hospital and 20% take place in a care home, it is now a minority experience to die in your own home. multi-generational living is extremely uncommon for british muggles outside of specific demographic groups. it would presumably not be - since gerontological care must take place in the home - for british wizards.

[i am aware of the wizarding care home in the cursed child, but i think we can either ignore this as not-canon, or imagine it working as an almshouse - such as the royal hospital, chelsea, founded in 1682 - the early-modern equivalent of a care home]

similarly, the treatment of chronic illnesses must generally take place in the home - which offers a really interesting insight into why, for example, remus lupin appears so much less healthy than werewolves like fenrir greyback, who live in quasi-familial community groups.

so too must the care of the terminally ill - which means that wizards would retain a relationship with death that muggles are increasingly detached from. i was struck when talking about deathly hallows with some friends that they were surprised that fleur delacour can see thestrals - and they automatically assumed that she must have witnessed some sort of traumatic death for this to be the case. but if her grandmother [who seems, as of goblet of fire, to be dead] went through the process of dying [which is not immediate!] at home, she would probably have been there to witness and understand it. this is an entirely natural part of the human experience.

and this means - as we'll come to in part two - that who doesn't get treated in the home becomes an interesting question...

healers and their training

the stringent academic requirements for healing training in canon are a pastiche of those needed for a medical degree in muggle britain. medicine is an extremely competitive subject [as in many places worldwide, the number of places is capped] and all uk medical schools require top a-level [the final-year exams which newts are a mirror of] grades.

in the wizarding world - since university education doesn't appear to exist - the subject is taught by apprenticeship. this makes sense - all muggle medical degrees have a considerable practical component, and i think we can easily imagine that trainee healers are also required to attend lectures etc.

however, since there doesn't appear to be general medicine in the wizarding world, healers seem to apprentice from the off in specific specialities.

similarly, on their wards, they seem to function as a combination of all the levels of staff you would find in a muggle hospital - a doctor would not, for example, hand out christmas gifts on a ward - and there doesn't seem to be any hierarchy post-qualification. you can only be an apprentice or a healer - instead of a junior, registrar, consultant etc. [or the american near-equivalents - intern, resident, attending etc.]

but all of this makes sense if we consider it alongside the fact that a lot of treatment must take place in the home. healers are - by their very nature - advanced specialists in a specific [and apparently narrow] range of magical illnesses and injuries, who presumably deal with such a small number of patients [arthur weasley is on a ward with only three people, supervised by two healers - i think many of us who've worked in muggle hospitals would kill for that ratio...] that they are able to take the holistic role they do in canon.

other medical staff

and so most aspects of wizarding medicine must be administered by people who are not [by virtue of formal training] healers - both within the home and outside it.

madam pomfrey, for example, seems to have a different, lower level of training than a healer - not least because her title, which she shares with other non-academic staff like madam hooch, is intended to indicate that she is below the hogwarts professors in terms of qualification [however wizards understand this when it comes to fitness to teach]. we see in canon that she needs to send patients to st mungo's for specific magical injuries which she doesn't have the training and/or equipment to treat [mcgonagall after she's stunned in order of the phoenix, katie bell after she's cursed in half-blood prince], but that she's able to treat most magical injuries which are non-life-threatening, and most non-magical injuries and minor illnesses.

in the uk, a school matron would generally be qualified as a nurse - and madam pomfrey reflects this. obviously, this is primarily a narrative detail which helps the [british] reader understand the wizarding world by referencing something with which they are familiar, but from an in-world perspective it suggests that there is a hierarchy of medical training which we don't hear about in canon.

perhaps even because it would be considered beneath the alumni of as elite a boarding school as hogwarts to go into the equivalent of nursing...

[indeed, the apparent absence of credentialism in the presentation of healing being revealed to be a lie would fit the way the series approaches class... and the class distinctions, not only in terms of post-qualification social status, but in terms of background - in 2016, 61% of people studying medicine or dentistry were privately educated - between doctors and nurses in the uk are significant.]

and so i imagine that general medical treatment - as well as more specialised disciplines like midwifery, dentistry, and optometry - is available in the wizarding world [for a fee?] from licensed [anyone offering medical care in england has required a license since the 1520s] community-based practitioners such as madam pomfrey, with people only seeking treatment at st mungo's for urgent magical cases.

there must also be a voluntary aspect to this community-based medical system - i've always assumed that the people who bring arthur weasley to st mungo's are volunteers rather than professional paramedics, for example - and treatment must also be available from shops - such as apothecaries, which can presumably diagnose ailments as well as sell the treatments for them - which provide medical services alongside various other functions.

[maybe the people who make objects such as james and sirius' two-way mirrors are also responsible for lens-crafting and other aspects of optometry.]

this can be a fun worldbuilding detail - historically, surgery [and most dental care] was provided by barbers. clearly, molly doesn't cut her sons' hair at home for financial reasons, but because the one time she let bill go to the barber's on his own, he came back with a gold tooth...

the medical research sector

while the wizarding world doesn't appear to have universities - or other research institutions which look familiar to the modern reader - it clearly has some sort of scientific infrastructure, within which medical and pharmaceutical research [such as the development of the wolfsbane potion in the early 1990s] takes place.

and we can very easily imagine what this infrastructure is...

the statute of secrecy is signed after the emergence in britain of learned societies - essentially, research organisations, which are modelled on the college fellowships of oxford and cambridge [with a little bit of the medieval guild thrown in]. they function as academic networks, peer-review groups, and professional bodies.

in the medical field, the royal college of physicians - which is still going! i'm a member! - was founded in 1519. in the natural sciences more generally, the royal society - probably the most famous learned society in the world - was officially established in 1663.

we know of at least one wizarding learned society from canon - the most extraordinary society of potioneers, founded by hector dagworth-granger - and we know that there are academic journals - such as transfiguration today - which can be presumed to be published by others.

it makes absolute sense that there would be a learned society which focused on the science of healing, and offered publications, lectures, demonstrations [imagine how horrendous the first demonstration of the wolfsbane potion might have been...], research funding, and so on to professionals working in the discipline. it also makes sense that there would be a college or guild for apothecaries.

the real question, though, is what these would be called... after all, the wizarding world tends to have a touch of whimsy to it, but since there's literally a clinical body in the uk called "nice", the muggles might have won this round...

[aspendruid]

$12 for a 20 pack of black raspberry dream potion gummies? friendship ended with old dispensary new dispensary is my friend now

[https-chaos]

life advice: if pretending you're a video game character on a fetch quest makes it easier to run errands, do that. if pretending you're an adventure hero makes it easier to walk around downtown, do that. if pretending you're a sitcom character gets you through your boring job, do that. if carrying a book everywhere like rory gilmore makes it easier to take the train, do that.

it's not illegal to play pretend as an adult. do it

anyway i had to run to meijer for energy drinks, walmart for aspirin, the dispensary for weed, and costco for liquid iv yesterday. combining all 4 of those things in one water bottle feels like making a health potion so driving all over to get them feels like a quest. fun af

[greenticklerdreams]

🔮 crystal ball - if you had magical powers and could create a tickle spell, potion, etc. what would it’s effects be?

Everybody says "enhances sensitivity," so I'll try to be more creative. (Besides, we already have "enhances sensitivity and increases laughter" potions. You can pick those up at the local dispensary.)

One idea I have is a potion that makes it harder to will your body to move. It doesn't actually render you incapable of movement, so we can still have those fun wiggles and thrashes during tickle play. But you can't TELL your body to move. You can't voluntarily escape. I figure it's no more dangerous than bondage, especially with the antidote handy in case of safe word. Cuts down on cost, possible discomfort, finding hard points, and learning knots. The downsides are that we lose something visually appealing, and the feeling of being bound on the lee's end. May not always be worth the trade-off.

Also, a simple Detect Ticklishness spell that can be directed at people in general or even specific spots on their body would be nice. Of course, they have to be up for it, but I feel like a "Detect Consent" spell is kinda... maybe it doesn't directly contradict the definition of consent, but it sure strikes it a glancing blow.

And I'd trade all of this for a simple tickle-agnostic long-range teleportation spell. I don't think I need to explain that one.

[didyoutrydynamite]

The last five characters you've played group up for an adventure. How balanced is the party?

Alight so I'm gonna cheat a little for this party and make it six characters (Because I've only ever actually played six characters *Cries in forever dm*), so the party would actually be pretty balanced.

Luminelle Spellbrook; Female Woodelf Glamour Bard/ Sheperd Druid:

Hailing from a forest kingdom, Luminelle's days were akin to a Disney Princess, surrounded by the melodies of her animal companions. Her harmonious life took an adventurous turn when wanderlust beckoned her beyond the familiar trees. Yet, as she ventured into the outside world, the vibrant charm of her childlike wonder faded in the face of civilized people's trivialities. The weight of self-absorbed first world problems chipped away at her enthusiasm, and their ulterior motives and selfish intentions left her disillusioned. Despite her preference for for her forest home, Luminelle discovered that the world harbored deeper, tangible threats. This realization drew her into a reluctant role as a mediator between the genuine issues of the world and her serene forest haven.

Miles Cypress; Male Changeling Trickery Cleric:

An enigmatic being of many stories and identities, Father Cypress roams between towns, perpetually drawn to the allure of mischief and enigma. Living a double life, Miles Cypress lives as a clever and pious man during the daylight hours, only to transition into the captivating tiefling minstrel, Hanson Montoya, under the cloak of night. He assumes the visage of his departed love, allowing his former accomplice to fulfill the musical dreams he told him often, while simultaneously pursuing the path of redemption for the transgressions of their shared past.

Pez; Male Grung Alchemist Artificer/ Wild Magic Barbarian:

This little frog man is the proud founder and proprietor of "The Pez Dispensary" for all your pharmaceutical and recreational needs! Here, your ailments will be cured, and you weekends made unforgettable. With his cart full elixirs, potions, and herbs, Pez takes his shop on the road, selling anything and everything that may peak your interest. The only thing shorter than his prices is his temper so you better stop asking so many goddamn questions! What are you a cop? You know if someone asks you if you're a cop, you legally have to tell them.

Xen Haidao; Female Yuan-ti Pureblood Swashbuckler Rogue:

Xen Haidao, a beguiling young actress, blurs the lines between acting and reality. As a method actor, she took intense preparation for an upcoming pirate role, she now lives the daring life she portrayed, wanted for piracy. With charisma and wit, she navigates treacherous seas, evading authorities while embracing the thrill of her piratical existence. Amid danger and fame, Xen treads a precarious path, juggling illusion and reality to maintain her legend as both actress and pirate.

Donathael "Dorko" Darko; Male Highelf Lore Wizard:

Meet Donathael "Dorko" Darko, an enigmatic high elf scholar known more for his affinity for tomes than for adventures. Reclusive and content within his dorm's walls, Dorko's world revolves around the pages of arcane knowledge. But fate intervenes, and the academy thrusts him into the world of adventure, deeming him in desperate need of real-world experience. Dorko's demeanor is far from heroic; he's a scrawny figure lost within robes, a quintessential nerd. Quests and gallant feats? Not his cup of tea. Yet, his vulnerability to peer pressure from his party will have him literally dragged into adventures he'd rather avoid, punctuated by his signature pitiful whine.

Bulwark; Non-Binary Warforged Battlemaster Fighter:

Bulwark, a formidable Warforged, stands as an imposing symbol of unwavering dedication. This automaton soldier, an embodiment of strength and precision, follows orders with absolute devotion. Once tasked with guarding a solitary city bridge, their loyalty was so steadfast that the bridge alone remained standing after a cataclysmic siege reduced the city to ruins. After the death of their Captain, they became a sentinel without a command, who now walks the path of a wandering warrior. Without hesitation, they undertake every quest that comes their way, driven by an unshakable belief that each task is a new command and an extension of their original programming: protect at all cost.

[bioaccumulation]

I am a wizard who went to the local alchemist to obtain a sleep potion (i went to the dispensary to get the elderberry edibles with CBN in them)

[rmoonstoner]

Short IRL Story time!

So, I've been going to the local flea market for years. One day, I meet this awesome dude that sells Pokémon cards, figures, and other official merchandise. He also sells other stuff, like Magic, and other TCGs. We do business every once and a while, with business, being me, buying unnecessary plastic Pokémon figurines to put on my display shelves with my weird potion bottles, and him receiving copious amounts of my money for them. ❤️ 💙

So, anyways...

He recently started working at the corner dispensary from me, and now I also buy weed off of this man. Legally speaking, of course.

Anyways, that's not important. What's important is, I keep missing flea market day. I do, however, go to the pot shop like twice a week, so I have a higher chance of seeing him there, then I do at the market. We exchanged socials so I could purchase more shit from him.

Last night, I randomly found some old unopened boxes of Pokémon cards I had tucked away. Like at least 5 years old for one of them. I message him, seeing if he wants a good deal on these babies, because I just don't collect the cards. I only collect the figurines.

And then this shining fucking star of a man tells me he has Doctor Strange Funkos and I lost my shit. I don't have any of him yet. And to think, I just wanted some weed.

❤️ 💙

Ps, he kind of looks like Benedict, and I don't know how that makes me feel. 👀

[billazin710]

Unveiling Health For Life Founder Endora's Centuries-Old Cannabis Saga. Magical Deals Await!

TOP WORLD NEWS interview with Endora about her cannabis dispensary Health For Life in Cave Creek Arizona

TOP WORLD NEWS SPECIAL REPORT by Bill Azin BILL AZIN (BA): Good evening, viewers. Bill Azin here, bringing you an extraordinary story that transcends time and ventures into the mystic. Today, we have the enchanting Endora, claiming to be the founder of Health For Life cannabis dispensary in Cave Creek, Arizona. Endora alleges she’s been brewing up potions in a cave by the creek for centuries.…

[the1975attheirverybest]

"Right?!!!! What do you got going on over there that the boys are so interested in?? Ross’s magic hair growing potions? Matty’s hair gel? Adam’s fav guitar? George’s….Charli or something????"

i mean we're gonna legalise weed soon ✨✨✨🦦

NOOO THAT WAS OUR THING!!!! YALL HAVE CIVILIZATION. AND RATIONAL THINKING. AND CARS. AND CHOCOLATE.

The only reason matty likes to hang out here is cuz we have dispensaries you can just walk in and buy weed.

:( well I guess he’s gonna try and get a German citizenship now.

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

I opened my tablet to draw some art. And two hours later here I am, artless and building Jonothy Higgleshmongle’s 100% Legal Potion Dispensary in the middle of my Serious Lore Town

[lionheartapothecaryx]

Excerpt from The New York Times July 1st 1927

'Tracking Down Hoodoo Men in the 20's'

Article from The Times - July 11 1927

Does a Negro woman's husband gulp down his evening meal, reach for his hat, announce that he is "going for a walk," setting out to get a cigar, starting for a lodge meeting, calling on a sick friend, or give any other of the ancient husbandly pretexts for effecting an egress from his home, what steps are proper for his wife to take? Not tears or smiles, not reproaches or endearments, not cries or kisses, according to Negro "Dr." Samuel Kojoe Pearce, lodged last week in a St. Louis jail. The correct procedure is to purchase one or another of the many potions, powders, charms peddled by "Dr." Pearce and most efficacious in promoting domestic happiness.

There is for instance, his Tie-Them-Down Powder, which, slyly slipped into tea, coffee or other beverage is guaranteed to fill the husband with an intense desire to spend his evenings at home. If, having been given Tie-Them-Down, the husband still shows no signs of curtailing his cruising radius, he becomes an "Aggravated Case" and the situation calls for Bring-back Powder, similar in nature but greater in potency than Tie-Them-Down. The Bringback retails at $50 for 25 powders; Tie-Them-Down at $25 for 25 powders. They are sold by the West African Remedy Co., the Pearce Health Institute, the Oriental Institute of Science and the Africa-American Institute of Science, all of which corporations have a very interlocking directorate consisting of "Dr." Pearce himself.

In addition to his powders, "Dr." Pearce also does business in charms. There is the Allah Charm, which will aid the wearer in contracting a wealthy marriage and is priced at only $3.49. There is the King Solomon's Wisdom Stone, "very valuable and charged with invisible life." There is the Black Cat's Wishbone, excellent for making dice behave and prompting the selection of winning horses. And there is the Lucky Turrarie, a general charm to keep evil spirits away from the homes it blesses.

"Dr." Pearce has done a mailorder business on a national scale; said he had received as much as $500 from a single customer. When arrested in St. Louis last week, however, he was unable to secure bail money and was therefore jailed while awaiting Federal Grand Jury action on his case. He was born in Nigeria (British West Africa), came to the U. S. from Hamburg, Germany, in 1920, claimed to be a licensed osteopath, and has "practiced" in New York, Detroit, St. Louis.

Negroes sincerely desirous of elevating their race last week agreed that persons promptly reporting other "osteopaths" of "Dr." Pearce's ilk would be performing valuable race service.

Some two years ago (TIME, Aug. 24, 1925) one D. Alexander, of No. 99 Downing St., Brooklyn, operated a charming dispensary with a stock remarkably like that of "Dr." Pearce. He had Tie Down Goods instead of Tie-Them-Down and King Solomon's Marrow instead of King Solomon's Wisdom Stone. He also had some additional merchandise: Boss Fix Powders (to keep employers well disposed) Guffer (or Goof-er) Dust, Happy Dust, Easy Life Powder and Buzzard Nest.

Both Messrs. Alexander and Pearce, however, agreed on one charm—the Black Cat's Wishbone (which was priced at $1,000 in a circular distributed by Mr. Alexander). About this potent charm the almost equally famed Goofer Dust songs have been written:

I swear to God my man's got a black cat's bone.

I said a black cat's—I mean bone.

I swear to God my man's got a black cat's bone—Every time I start to leave I gotta come back home.

And

Just sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle

Yo' goofer du-hust

And yo' little yellow Nellie with

the diamonds on her belly Will quit her razz-mu'tazzle, her

sneakin' jizzle-jazzle, An' come back to the Daddy

that had her fust.

[cloudywilmon]

86 and 99, wilmon👀

86: I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On

99: Magical Accidents

                                   -     Potion Problems  -

It had been an accident, Wille hadn’t meant to to drink that kind of potion, he’d thought it was a hangover cure. Sure, it probably wasn’t the smartest of him to buy a potions in a back alley instead of from a reputable dispensary, but it was so much cheaper. This was probably why. How was he supposed to know it was a lust potion?

He’d heard of them before, but had never seen one in effect. Of course it had to happen to him. When he’s first drank the potion, he felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and for some reason his thoughts went went to Simon. After making sure Wille got to bed okay Simon had passed out in the guest room. Wille wondered if he was still there. 

There was a knock on his door and Simon slipped in.

“Wille?” He asked. “How are you feeling?” 

Wille’s eyes widened as Simon came into view, wearing what looked like... a clown onesie?

“Simon...” Wille hesitated. “What are you wearing?”

Simon’s eyes widened as he seemed to realize, pulling the clown wig off. 

“It uh- helps me sleep,” Simon admitted.

“Oh,” Wille said quietly. He didn’t want Simon to feel like he was judging him, but he could feel the potion taking effect and for some reason the clown suit was really doing it for him. 

“Wille?” Simon hesitated, staring at Wille’s crotch. Wille blushed as he realized he was hard, something his boxers were not adequately hiding.

“I accidentally drank a lust potion,” Wille admitted. 

Simon looked at the empty bottle on the bedside table and started laughing.

“I thought it was a hangover cure!” Wille exclaimed, trying to defend himself.

“I’m sorry,” Simon snickered, “You bought a back alley potion for a hangover, it turned out it was a lust potion, and now seeing me in a clown suit is turning you on?”

Wille groaned and buried his head in his hands, “yes.”

“You know,” Simon said carefully. “They say that lust potions increase the attraction, but that they don’t make it appear out of nothing. Wille... do you have a clown kink?”

Wille blushed, “I- I don’t know.”

Simon stepped closer to him, taking his hand and moving it up to to touch his clown nose. Wille squeeze the clown nose, eyes wide. Simon bit his lip, “if you do it’s okay... I do too.”

Wille breathed a sigh of relief, “I... Simon I want you.”

Simon smiled, taking the clown wig in his hands and putting it on Wille’s head. Wille realized that he had always wanted to be with Simon, but seeing him as clown gave him the extra push he needed.

“Why don’t I do an exclusive routine?” Simon suggested. “Just for you.”

Wille gulped as Simon winked, lying back on the bed as Simon pulled a balloon out of his pocket and began to blow it into a balloon animal, wiggling his hips as he did so. He didn’t know if he’d survive this, but he’d die a very happy clown.

[javaberrychip1998]

*Me walking into the dispensary*: Hello I would like one potion of knock me the fuck out please :)