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ultradespairgay · 2 years ago

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Talking About A Certain Hiyoko Headcanon:

Okay so there’s been a few things that have been on my mind lately. It’s about the headcanon {that’s often treated as fact from what I’ve seen} that Hiyoko is much younger than her classmates. I have a few questions about this:

1) Why does this headcanon exist?

2) Why are people treating this as if it’s canon to Hiyoko’s character?

There’s quite a bit about this that I really don’t understand, nor like. In this post, I want to debunk this headcanon and go over a few other things related to it.

Before I start, I want to put a disclaimer here. Firstly, there will be spoilers for almost the entire DR series {DR,DR2,DR3: Despair Arc & DRS specifically}. Secondly, I will be touching on a few heavy topics such as p*dophilia, so if this makes you uncomfortable please don’t force yourself to read this post. Finally, I’m not looking to start a fight and this isn’t targeted at anyone specifically. So please don’t come into my replies or my ask-box looking to start something. I don’t tolerate that nonsense here. With all of that out of the way, let’s begin {more will be under the cut}!!

So, the argument that I’m going to be making is that Hiyoko isn’t younger than her classmates, rather she’s the same age as them. The first piece of evidence that backs up my claim is that Hiyoko goes through a significant growth spurt at some point during her time at Hope’s Peak Academy. It’s first referenced in DR2 Chapter 6, where in a glitched version of the academy Hajime finds a news article that includes a picture of an older/more mature-esque Hiyoko.

Hajime is confused, as the Hiyoko he knew had a “child-like appearance” and had died. So there was no way she could’ve possibly went through a growth spurt… except he was wrong. During the trial, it’s revealed that the killing school trip was actually a simulation the entire time. Hajime then recalls the evidence he had found earlier and backs up the “everything was a simulation” claim.

Their time on Jabberwock was just a memory of when they all started at HPA. Everyone’s {including Hiyoko} avatars reflect this because in reality their bodies have actually matured approximately 2-3 years. It wasn’t recognizable to them at first because they had their school memories taken away from them.

DR2 Chapter 6 Trial {9:20-12:22}.

We also see Hiyoko’s growth spurt in DR3: Despair Arc Episode 5.

DR3: Despair Arc Hiyoko Saionji Compilation {2:08-2:21}.

Now some might say that “there are people who look older than they actually are”, which is true. However, the opposite can also be true as well. In Hiyoko’s case, before her growth spurt she looked much younger than she really was. A couple of the characters {Hajime in the prologue/Chp.6 & Kazuichi in Chp.6 for example} refer to Hiyoko as having a “child-like appearance/figure. In the prologue, Nagito brings up that Hiyoko’s dancing is popular amongst young audiences, but most of her fans are men. Hajime thinks that this is because Hiyoko looks so young, stating that they must all have the same “niche”.

DR2 Prologue Part 2 {26:56-27:14}.

The “niche” in question could also be referred to as Hiyoko’s fans being drawn to her “un-high school student-like” appearance. Would being described as having a child-like/un-high school student-like appearance apply to someone who’s supposedly younger than the rest of her class? No it doesn’t, so it doesn’t support the headcanon in question.

People have also referred to two screenshots from DR:S as evidence for their headcanon. However, it’s more likely they were misinterpreting what was shown on screen. First we have this screenshot featuring Hiyoko, Mahiru & Mondo.

Looking at the cutscene as a whole, it’s more likely that Mondo said this because Hiyoko neither looks nor acts like someone their own age. I’ve already covered her looks, but in terms of actions we see Hiyoko throwing a fit/crying because Mondo ruined her plans with Mahiru. When asking him to apologize, Hiyoko makes demands like “rubbing his pompadour into the dirt” which sounds very immature.

DRS Hiyoko Saionji Events {3:56-7:01}.

Then there’s the screenshot featuring Hiyoko, Mahiru & Himiko.

I’ve seen this being interpreted as “Hiyoko has no reason to refer to herself in such a way if she’s the same age as everyone else”. Now in DR:S, this takes place in an AU where the casts from the main 3 games are all the same age and are about to graduate. When they entered the simulated Jabberwock Island, Hiyoko was booted back to how she looked before her growth spurt {the growth spurt still happened during her time at HPA} and everyone knows this. Hiyoko had called Himiko a “little runt” because she felt like Himiko was trying to take her “big sis” Mahiru away from her. Himiko retorts that they’re actually around the same size… well at least in the simulation that’s the case. This then leads to what Hiyoko says in the screenshot.

DRS Hiyoko Saionji Events {26:00-28:16}.

Since everyone knows that Hiyoko’s gone through a growth spurt back in the real world, what’s more likely is that Hiyoko is saying that even though she looks like this in the simulation, at least she’ll get taller unlike Himiko who’ll probably stay that short forever.

Hiyoko isn’t a 500 year old entity that looks like a young child. She was just a teenager that didn’t look or act her age, that eventually went through a growth spurt. People like Hiyoko do exist in real life, it’s not that hard to believe.

Another point that I can make is that one of the two requirements to get into HPA is that you must already be attending a high school. You’d have to be at least 16 years old to even attend the academy. Some will probably say “what if Hiyoko skipped a few grades”, but this is never confirmed nor implied in any DR media that features Hiyoko. A character from DR1 Yasuhiro Hagakure outright states in his game’s prologue that he’s actually 21 years old and was held back a few times.

So if Hiyoko had skipped a couple of grades, then why wasn’t this ever brought up to her classmates or the player/viewer during DR2 or DR3: Despair Arc? Surely this would’ve been important enough information that the developers wouldn’t have just forgotten to include it, right? It just wouldn’t make any sense that this wasn’t brought up, if this was a part of Hiyoko’s character. Therefore, Hiyoko would’ve had to have been at least 16 years old and already attending a high school in order to get into HPA.

Hiyoko having a growth spurt & the requirements to get into HPA are the main pieces of evidence that goes against Hiyoko being much younger than the rest of her class. Now I want to cover a claim people have made using this headcanon that I really don’t agree with. It’s being claimed that M/ahiyoko {Mahiru + Hiyoko} is a gross/unhealthy relationship and that Mahiru is creepy for having feelings for Hiyoko. Essentially the ship is implied to be “p*dophilic… which none of this is even close to being true. Making accusations like this is incredibly bold/serious, especially when there’s nothing to back it up. Hiyoko & Mahiru are the same age and if anything Mahiru showing kindness to Hiyoko in DR2 would help inspire her to change. An example would be at the start of DR2 Chapter 3 when Hiyoko made a memorial for Mahiru in her honour. While it looked sinister, there was honest intent behind it. Hiyoko admits that she made it because she wanted Mahiru to know that she wasn’t alone, even if she’s in heaven. The others comment how this is unlike how Hiyoko usually is. I can’t picture Hiyoko in the previous chapters doing something like this, so I think this was thanks to Mahiru’s influence.

DR2 Chapter 3 Part 1 {9:30-11:58}.

So in what way does this make their relationship gross/unhealthy? Also, Mahiru isn’t a creep for having feelings for someone her own age. There’s a clear cut difference between Mahiru & Hiyoko’s fans who like her specifically because she looks “younger”. Mahiru isn’t a creep, the fans who objectify Hiyoko in such a way are. If you personally view Hiyoko & Mahiru’s relationship as purely platonic or familial, that’s fine. However, you can dislike a ship without making serious accusations without the proper evidence to back it up.

One last thing I want to mention in this post, is how people will outright treat this headcanon as if it’s canon information. I find this to be completely ridiculous, if something was canon it wouldn’t be a headcanon anymore. People can have their headcanons, however don’t treat them as if they’re 100% fact. At this point, all you’re doing is spreading misinformation around which isn’t really productive at all. What if someone who knew nothing about DR came across these posts about this headcanon? They’d be thinking that this is canon information, when it’s not. I find that the DR fandom in general has a problem with treating their headcanons as the truth when it’s not, and the people who headcanon Hiyoko as being younger are no exception.

These are the reasons why I think Hiyoko is the same age as the rest of her classmates.As well as M/ahiyoko isn’t a gross/unhealthy relationship and Mahiru isn’t a creep for liking Hiyoko as more than a friend. This headcanon doesn’t really make any sense and I wish the fandom would stop parading it around as if it’s canon. Please do your research and think before making very serious claims that can’t be backed up with proper evidence.

I want to once again reiterate to not go to my replies or my askbox looking to start something. I don’t care if you agree with me or not, however don’t be an ass about it.

But anyways, thanks to everyone who made it to the end of this post/heard me out with what I had to say. All the clips I’ve used for this post are from the YouTube channel justonegamr. The screenshots also were taken from their videos as well. I definitely want to make more analytical posts on this blog in the future, so be on the lookout for those!!

#danganronpa #hiyoko saionji #dr #sdr2 #dr3 #drs #dr spoilers #analysis post #tw: p*dophilia

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absolutebl · 3 years ago

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This Week in BL

Sept 2021 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Don’t Say No Ep 9 (Line) - It’s my corny af hurt/comfort soap opera that I watch at 1.5x and skip all the sex scenes and Fiat crying, but I like it that way, so there. Yes I am one of those people who only eats the outside of the peanut M&Ms, why do you ask? Episode recaps here.

Bite Me Ep 5 (Viu & Viki) - sometimes I feel like this show is skipping all the important bits, or having them occur off screen intentionally, like some ancient Greek play. Still, the depth of the feeling understood between the two leads is clearly transferred to us despite that. Are they dating? Sure seems that way. Without anything being actually said about it. It’s oddly magical. I talked a bit about the north/south divide and food as a love language with regards to kao soi in this post.

7 Project Ep 5 The Breakup Zone (iQiYi & YouTube) - another het installment, so I skipped it. Nash.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Peach of Time Ep 10 fin - A Korean BL (maybe not BL tho) featuring Thai talent that really went beyond a lot of tropes into interesting territory and allegory in a way only Korea does. I hope we get more collabs like this, perhaps happier than this one next time? RECOMMENDED only if you are prepared for The Sad. Because it is quite sad.

x Friend or Lover (YouTube) Ep 6 - still waiting on the final of this Taiwanese indie series.

Love is Science? (BL sub plot on Viki) Ep 14 (aired ep 15) - Taiwanese drama finally got subbed yesterday, so those of us who are waiting seem to be on a week’s delay. The BL couple actually has the most interesting story arc and the most unusual character growth. I’m enjoying how unpredictable these two are. Honestly, they could have gotten their own series with this much story - and now I really want that for after the baby comes. I’m a little sad we didn’t get the coming out in the skate park sequence (LOOK I love coming out drama, especially with sporty friends, it’s a THING), but I also get why the writers are doing what they are with these boys. And the actors sure can handle it. Taiwan at it’s finest.

Love Is the series (YouTube) Ep 5 - continues to be fine for a V-BL but not all that actually good.

See You After Quarantine? (Viki) Ep 6, 7 - Taiwanese gameboys with Japanese talent stuck in, what more could we ask? AND THEN they gave us some *thirsty boi* action, great kisses, and charmed the pants off... well... everyone. Taiwan, we don’t deserve you. Honestly, you spoil us. Turns out Aaron Lai is the best wingman any gay Japanese man in quarantine could ask for. Everyone should be watching this. It’s utterly charming.

The Tasty Florida (Viki) Ep 3 & 4 - this Korean BL so fucking cute. Look it’s formless and too short but simultaneously aching and kinda special-sweet. But Korea has got to settle into something a bit longer for their BL for everyone’s sake. It’s time. Light On Me proved it was possible. I’m not asking for much, just 15 min+ of fresh content with at least a 10 ep arc.

Read more about it here.

GOSSIP!

Rumors of OhmFluke to star in new Thai BL Oh! My Sunshine Night. It’s from Newsinfinity Entertainment who announced the casting and showed the couple in workshops. This is this (small) production house’s first BL and they aim to “appeal to to general audiences* with a “broader view of BL that everyone will watch.” Which is code for LOW heat, light gay, soft boys. If this happens I think we can expect this to be Thailand doing Korean-style BL.

* GENERAL AUDIENCE? Let’s be clear no piece of media will EVER appeal to everyone. Here is the USA “general audience” is code for “families with socially conservative values and children who are still minors” AKA what used to be prime time TV watchers AKA suburbia.

The concept is analytically old fashioned and so fractured at this juncture (socially economically spatially politically) that “general audience” is actually impossible to target and it doesn’t really exist. But try telling that to the publicity department.

We also call this the “Disney live action demo.” (Think Pirates of the Caribbean.) I occasionally refer to them as “the Simpsons.” And they’re about as realistic. All that to say I am VERY suspicious of Oh! My Sunshine Night‘s production house.

To My Star does seem to be getting a second season, same director, same mains. Korea is much better about executing on its promises than Thailand, but until I see proof of filming or an honest trailer, my favorite boys are staying in the gossip section. I don’t wanna get my hopes up. (Honestly now, how many of you also want an alt reality with these two as a couple but Kim Kang Min playing his long suffering cardiologist intern character from Hospital Playlist? Just me?)

I reported on Unforgotten Night a while ago. It seems to have been fully cast now, I still think the publicity stills make it look like a joke. But with this line-up I guess it’s even more of an alt answer to KinnPorsche.

You know that thing that happens in media when suddenly we get multiples of the same style of movie or show at once? It’s now happening with BL. Love triangles. Restaurants. And now mafia.

Cutie Pie (our arranged marriage Thai BL staring Zee) dropped some wardrobe fitting photo ops. Also... fancy pants sexy suits that fit, so that’s exciting.

Starting Soon

My Mate Match from Starhunter should be starting on Line TV next Saturday. Usually, Line has subs relatively quickly and is available internationally. However the fact that the trailer is not subbed and the show is not listed on Line’s site has me nervous. No idea on length of run either.

Starhunter studio doesn’t have a great track record in general for narrative arcs and this one is not based on a y-novel so could get waffly. This is a roommates love triangle BL about a boy who is looking for one roommate and ends up with two vying for his home and his heart. Stars Jet as the uke lead which I’m pretty happy about as he’s got great comedic timing and is accustomed to BL. He’s opposite two friends/co-actors from Gen Y and other projects, so we know they’re comfortable with each other. They could do great things... if they get a decent script.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moment?

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fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy · 3 years ago

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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post!#jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

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mmvalentine · 4 years ago

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The Bargain Pt 5 | Feysand

Modern AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

Rhys hadn't seen Feyre in a year.

He knew that, because his social media sent him a reminder that he had posted a photo of her finished tattoo a year ago, and he had not heard from her since.

Not that she had any obligation to contact him, of course. In fact, this was why he made the six month rule with his clients- he knew how easy it was to become attached to someone who you have been vulnerable around. And he didn't want to influence anyone like that, particularly not Feyre, who seemed to be having a tough enough time as it was. So although he thought about her often, after she left the shop that last time, for the most part he tried to let her fade into a pleasant memory, and not to dwell too much on whether she was okay out in the world.

But Rhys knew he'd never forget Feyre, because after she was gone he had actually started to paint again. Had locked the door of the studio behind her, arrived back at his apartment and stayed up all night with his crusty old oil set. Paper had never been particularly interesting to him, so he had painted his coffee table. Swirls and eddies of colour like Feyre had drawn on his arm in the gaps between his black line tattoos.

Over the next few weeks, Rhys' plain and understated flat became a frenzy of line and pattern and colour. He started posting photos on his instagram and to his great surprise, they garnered more attention than some of his better performing tattoo posts. He was even commissioned to paint shop fronts and feature walls in restaurants.

By the end of the year, Rhys was still in the studio most of the time but spent a week out of every month painting murals around the country, like he had always wanted to do. So no, he would not be forgetting Feyre, ever.

In May, Rhys got a contract in Berlin. It was one that he was slightly apprehensive about, since apparently it was a team effort and he didn't have much experience collaborating. He didn't love the idea that several people who had never met would be trying to create something cohesive in a short amount of time. On the other hand, it was an all-expenses paid trip and he was about due for a holiday.

Rhys landed in Berlin early in the morning, and had a couple of hours to kill before his meeting. He spent some time wandering around the strangely grey, concrete world, and found these amazing rainbow bursts popping up unexpectedly on street corners and in alleyways. Rhys found he rather liked it.

When eventually he walked through the tall glass doors of the building he'd been directed to, Rhys wondered about the team he'd be working with. There were a number of very well respected German street artists, and if he had to collaborate, he hoped it would be someone who he might recognise.

He was utterly unprepared to walk into the room and see Feyre sitting at the table, deep in conversation with a man with dark skin and white hair.

"Ah, here he is. Feyre, this is Rhys," the man said, while Rhys stood with one hand still on the door handle and gaped.

Shock registered on Feyre's face, but then it settled into an easy, broad daylight grin.

"Thank you Tarquin, we've actually met." Feyre's fingers trailed over her tattoo as she spoke, not taking her eyes from Rhys'. "Remember me?" she asked, with a little tilt of her head.

"I, uh, yeah of course I do," Rhys said. "I wasn't expecting to see you here." "Nor I you," she said.

"Rhys, good to meet you in person," Tarquin said, extending a hand. "I know we've only spoken on the phone before now, and I'm so glad you could come over for this project."

Rhys shook the contractor's hand, and settled into the chair that was pulled out for him. He nodded and smiled at Tarquin, but then found his gaze snapping back to Feyre like a magnet. A rose petal blush stole over her cheeks.

"I am so excited to finally have the two of you here," Tarquin said. His voice was slightly accented, and very warm. "As you know from the brief, my company has just settled its headquarters here in Berlin and we want a summer themed mural."

"I'm sorry," Rhys interrupted. "It's just the two of us?" Tarquin nodded. "Originally I wanted a whole team of artists, but then we redid the budget and it was decided we'd just hire two." "I'm curious, you have so many wonderful artists here in Berlin, why did you fly us out from New York?"

"Actually," Feyre said. "I live in Berlin now." Rhys blinked. "Oh," was all he could think to say.

Tarquin prattled on for another forty minutes about his company, the 'feel' they were going for, their target audience and so on. When Tarquin had first approached Rhys, Rhys was genuinely interested in his work but now that Feyre was here sitting opposite him, he couldn't take in a damn word. Couldn't even remember what he already knew about the business, just sat there wondering what had happened in the year since he had last seen Feyre.

How was she? Was she still with that whatshisname boyfriend? Had she been tattooed by anyone else this year?

Finally Tarquin stopped talking and told them he'd take them on a tour of the building, show them the mural site, and then let them settled in. He stepped out to take a phone call, and left them with a mood board he had collated for the painting. Then Rhys was left alone with Feyre.

And for the life of him didn't know what to say to her.

He just sat there, swallowed, and tried to stop staring at her. She noticed, and blushed.

"What are you looking at?" Feyre said, looking down self-consciously. A curl fell over her face. "I'm sorry," Rhys said. "I just didn't expect to see you." "Me neither," Feyre told him. "I mean, I moved cities, I moved continents and yet here you are."

Rhys nodded. "Here I am." He cleared his throat. "So ah, when did you guys move over?" "Just a few months ago," Feyre said. "And it's just me. I broke up with Tamlin." She shifted in her seat. "You were right. It got worse, and then better." "Oh, good," Rhys said. "I mean- not good, I'm sorry to hear that."

Feyre laughed. "No," she said. "It is good. And I'm really enjoying living here. I can't believe you're here." "I thought I'd never see you again," Rhys said. Feyre's eyes flickered. "You thought about seeing me?" she asked.

Now it was Rhys' turn to colour. "I... I just wondered if you might get in contact later in the year. You know, let me know how your tattoo's healing and all. Is it alright?"

"It's great," Feyre said, holding out her arm for Rhys to inspect. "I know I said I might call, but I just couldn't," she confessed. "As the months went on I got so embarrassed."

Rhys cocked his head. "Why?" he asked. "Because I had such a crush on you!" Feyre said. "And I bet every girl you tattoo falls in love with you, I didn't want to be one of them." She laughed, and looked away. Rhys just stared at her.

"You... had a crush...?" he started to ask, but then Tarquin breezed back into the room.

"Sorry folks!" he said. "Important call, but terribly rude of me. Now. Let's get on with that tour huh?"

And then he ushered them out of the room, and didn't leave them until they were all saying goodbye and Feyre was heading toward home in one direction and Rhys was going to his hotel in the other.

No matter. They had all week to get reacquainted.

****

Thank you so much to everyone who has been commenting, I've been astounded by the love you guys have been giving this story and I appreciate you all very dearly!! I thought it would be a little niche one, I wrote it because I like art and tattoos, and I really didn't think it would do this well. Would love to know what's working for you, so I can keep bringing it to you :)

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace

#feysand #feysand fic #acotar #fluff #mine

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blossom-hwa · 3 years ago

Note

hello !! congrats on 4 years !! i love your writing sm! could i request a tbz haknyeon strangers-to-lovers royalty au plz ?

of course you can! thank you for this request and your support <3

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Title: Proposal

Pairing: Haknyeon x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.5k

Triggers: mentions of a war

"Your Majesty."

The voice of the guard settles the conversation in the throne room, letting silence fall once more. Haknyeon nods. "Yes?"

"The sovereign of Landis requests an audience."

Whispers fill the room. Haknyeon himself frowns. Landis is a small country down south, barely known for anything other than its waterway system used by traders. There has been contact before, but very limited - his tutors barely saw fit to even mention that to him when he was younger. What might they want with him?

"Landis?"

The guard looks about as confused as he is. "They said it's a matter of utmost urgency."

Haknyeon looks at Changmin. Changmin looks at him. They hold each other's gaze for a moment before Changmin nods once.

He turns back to the guard. "How many in the party?"

"Just two, Your Majesty. The sovereign and one advisor."

Is it so urgent that they could only dispatch a single person other than their ruler? "Have they been searched for weapons?"

"Thoroughly, sir."

He thinks for a moment. "Let the sovereign in," he finally decides, "but not the advisor. I want to know what they want from their ruler's own tongue."

The guard bows, then slips out the door. Just a few seconds later, the doors open again, revealing the ruler of Landis.

You don't look very impressive, not at first. Your clothes, though fine, don't really speak of high royalty, and exhaustion seems to weigh your every step as you traverse the room. But when you come to the center, you look up and meet Haknyeon's gaze...

He's never seen a fire burn so bright in a pair of eyes.

"Your Majesty." You settle on your knees, head bowed forward.

"You may rise," Haknyeon says, then waits for you to stand. "What brings you here, sovereign of Landis?"

Your eyes flicker from wall to wall. "Would it be possible to clear the room before I speak?"

Changmin's shoulders tense. Haknyeon himself almost puts a hand on the sword at his side. "For what reason?"

"I have a proposal to make." You meet his eyes calmly. "I'd simply rather not everyone speak about it if it does not go through. If this is not possible, however, I understand."

Haknyeon narrows his eyes. "My advisors and guards will stay," he says. "The rest of the court is dismissed."

Whispers fill the room, looks thrown his way as the crowds of nobility exit through the doors. Haknyeon acknowledges none of them, but even so, he has to stifle a sigh of relief when the doors finally close. "You said you had a proposal?"

You nod. "Will you allow me to speak?"

"Yes."

You don't waste a minute. "I don't know if you have heard, Your Majesty, but there is a war coming in your direction and mine."

He has heard. The dictator of a larger country, known for its wealth and power, has been rampaging for conquest. However, his country, though wealthy, never seemed to be a target, and none of his allies have fallen thus far...

"I received a letter from the man who leads them." You spit the word man out of your mouth like it burns on your tongue. "He asked for my surrender, for he knows a country as small as mine could never hope to fight off his army."

"Will you surrender, then?"

A sardonic smile plays slightly on your lips. "I don't plan to," you reply. "But I will need resources."

Of course. This is the reason you came. "You ask for my resources, then?" Haknyeon asks. "Why choose my country? Why not one that is larger, more bountiful in wealth?"

"You are closer. We share a common enemy." You swallow slightly. "If he decimates my country, he will no doubt set his eyes on yours. And..."

Haknyeon almost leans forward, so as not to miss a single word you say.

"I hear you are looking for someone's hand in marriage." You meet his eyes. "I am here to offer mine."

Even his advisors don't manage to suppress their surprise at that. Haknyeon can't blame them - how could you, the ruler of a small country known for almost nothing, expect him to accept your hand when you have very little to offer other than your waterways?

You stand among the whispers, unbothered, unflinching. Your stance speaks of confidence, but your eyes speak of intelligence - there's no way you could truly expect him to even consider this proposal, not when you're as smart as Haknyeon believes you are -

Ah.

That's it.

You don't expect him to accept at all.

His voices silences the whispers. "You don't expect me to accept."

You raise your chin, meeting his eyes defiantly. "No, I don't," you admit baldly. "My advisors told me it was useless to try. Why do you think I came alone?"

"Why, indeed." Haknyeon tilts his head. "So let me ask. What was the reason you did come, if you truly have no expectations for your offer?"

Silence falls. Your eyes narrow. For not the first time today, Haknyeon feels almost like the lesser under your gaze, piercing, sharp, determination brewing behind your pupils. But he holds it, because for some reason, even though you are of a smaller nation, a smaller people...

You command attention. You command respect.

And a part of Haknyeon wants you to respect him, too.

"How far would you go for your people, Your Majesty?" you finally ask. "To save them from a war that would decimate you all, crush you under the iron fist of a dictator known for his cruelty?"

The question is rhetorical. Still, though, you pause a moment, those piercing eyes boring deep into his soul.

When you continue, your voice seems to have dropped an octave. "I would do anything, Your Majesty." Your eyes burn with steel. "Even if it meant offering myself to someone whom I have never met."

The silence in the room feels thick enough that Haknyeon almost thinks even his sword couldn't cut through all of it. Out of the corner of his vision, he can see all of his few trusted advisors staring at him, all trying to communicate something different through their eyes.

But Haknyeon thinks he already has an answer.

"How many troops do you expect to need?" he asks.

You don't hesitate. "As many as you can spare."

"What will you be willing to give in return for my aid?"

"We can negotiate use of our extensive waterways," you reply.

"And lastly..." Haknyeon narrows his gaze. "Why do you offer marriage? Is an alliance not sufficient?"

You set your jaw. "Marriage is binding," you say. "More binding than any alliance could be."

Binding. Binding for both you and him. Whatever you offer him in return for his help will be set in stone, essentially, just the same as whatever he offers you.

You're smart. Very smart. Despite having known you for all of less than an hour, Haknyeon feels his respect growing for you by the minute. "Very well," he says. "I have considered your proposal. And..."

The tension heightens. Every one of his advisors leans forward in anticipation. Even you look slightly nervous, the look in your eyes no longer as steady as it was before.

"I will enter an engagement with you," he says, ignoring all of the looks being thrown his way across the room. "It will be in effect as long as you are alive and your kingdom still stands. In return for my troops, you will offer unhindered access to your waterways, for both commercial and military use."

Your jaw tightens. Clearly some of this is not what you wanted, but Haknyeon needs the respect of his advisors. He can't enter this deal without gaining something from it. "If you make it through this with your kingdom intact..."

Anyone could hear a pin drop in the room.

"Then we will marry."

Several people audibly gasp or whisper. Haknyeon lets Changmin issue them a glare. "If you agree, I will have a contract drawn, to be signed within two days. It will be immediately binding." He raises an eyebrow. "Is this to your satisfaction?"

For several long moments, you scrutinize him through those eyes burning with intelligence and determination. They rake over his face, searching, probing, scouring for any hint of dishonesty, any double meaning behind his words.

But Haknyeon has never had anything to hide.

At long last, your sharp gaze softens, still cautious, still guarded, but slightly less so than before. The tiniest hint of relief emanates from your face, from the slightly loosened set of your jaw and the barest hint of a smile on your lips.

Haknyeon wonders what that smile would look like if it were true, genuine, unhampered by the weight of the war on your shoulders.

You nod once, sharply.

"We have a deal, Your Majesty."

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years ago

Text

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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thatcartoonnetworkblog · 3 years ago

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Cartoon Network Hotel Review

WHAT TIME IS IT????

If you don’t find yourself screaming this when you get here, even just in your head, then you’re in the wrong place.

But after a nice drive through Amish Country, the Cartoon Network Hotel is nice and visible right outside of Dutch Wonderland. Coming in, you see images of some of your favorite characters, right before Finn and Jake welcome you at the front.

Granted, it looks like I came off season- with fall and school just starting, Dutch Wonderland is only open on the weekends, and the hotel wasn’t exactly packed from what I can see. Which made for a good time for the indoor pool to be under renovation, so I sadly didn’t get to check that out. But hey, the outdoor pool was running just fine, although it was mostly empty, just myself and a family.

I didn’t take any pictures of the pool, since I didn’t have my phone (but a couple of Ice King’s penguins are playing life guard duty, alongside a pretty cute girl), but I did snap a photo of the Powerpuff sprinklers! They look pretty cool, right?

But that’s jumping ahead. Anyway, as mentioned, today it didn’t seem so busy, so despite arriving a couple of hours before 4 PM check-in, I was able to get a room right away. It must have been busy enough that I didn’t get the Gumball room I asked for, but instead I got my second choice, Steven Universe.

But I mean, look at this. I can’t complain. I was just thinking that I wanted the SU room instead, anyway.

The rooms are themed to one of six shows/franchises, the other four being Powerpuff Girls, Ben 10, Adventure Time and We Bare Bears. The former two seem to be primarily inspired by their recent series however, not their classics, so your mileage will vary there. I asked a receptionist which show tends to be the most popular choice, and she says that it rotates. Apparently PPG does get picked often by those who grew up with it, which makes sense, although those aren’t my Powerpuff Girls.

So, some things of note- there are four exclusive channels to the Hotel. Gumball and Teen Titans Go get their own 24/7 channels, which seems redundant since they’re basically all CN shows anyway. But they also have a FanFavs channel, which shows various episodes from various series, and New Shows, which I’m not sure if it shows currently unaired episodes or not. I couldn’t get that one active for long, but I did see part of a Victor & Valentino episode. I did have FanFavs on a bit as background noise, and they seem to mostly show:

Adventure Time

Regular Show

Steven Universe

Ben 10 (2016)

Mao Mao

Thundercats Roar (seriously...)

It seems like they mostly rotate from those shows, but I’d like to believe there’s more. Griz is on the cover bar for it when you connect to wifi, and you’d think they’d also show at least the 2016 PPG show as well, as that’s all over the resort.

They also do showings of cartoons in the kitchen at 3 and 9 PM, as the kitchen is closed during those times. My flight was very early, so I missed the 9 showing, as well as the Summer Camp Island-inspired bonfire that happened before, but I caught the 3 o’clock cartoons. They played episodes of Craig of the Creek, Total Dramarama, Teen Titans Go, and Gumball. Pretty cool, although these are basically the only four shows the channel plays anyway, The intro they use for the screenings shows clips from classic Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, and Scooby-Doo cartoons, but none of those were shown today. Maybe they’ll throw one in at another time? Probably not Scooby... or maybe just a movie, since they apparently play movies as well sometimes.

I didn’t stick around for most of the TDR cartoon though, as I was participating in the Craig of the Creek scavenger hunt. They hunt various CN characters around the lobby vicinity, and you try to find them in the right spot.

This is what you get if you win- a COTC pin and a Hershey bar. But hey, you can’t argue with results, and this is about it for Craig merch.

The gift shop almost exclusively focuses on the six shows with featured rooms, and a lot of merch isn’t exclusive. I did get a couple of things though.

The beach towel is based on the designs you see all over the hotel and has a couple of series not otherwise represented in terms of merch, like OK KO, Summer Camp Island, and the aforementioned COTC. Oh, and Clarence! Almost missed him in the bottom.

I got the stickers because there are more COTC characters, and again, the designs are nice. The SU pin was cool, and if there was a similar one for AT or Gumball, I would have got that as well. And I got the Anais keychain because Gumball merch is strangely rare despite its popularity, especially for her. There were also some pencils, notebooks, a couple of T-shirts and a hoodie. I almost got some pencils.

There’s also an arcade and an activity center, but those do seem mostly for kids, plus you have to pay for most of the crafts. I think the coloring is free at least, and there are a couple of nods to classic shows I found that I’ll share on another post.

Just as there are some nods to classics around the place, primarily the elevator and kitchen, but the people who want to see Dexter and Johnny and the Eds aren’t the target audience for this resort. Which is unfortunate, but the thing is, besides the fact that we’re getting old and today’s kids need their own shows, Cartoon Network has become a big deal internationally over the past decade, moreso than during their supposed heyday in the late 90′s-early 00′s. The six shows featured aren’t just picked for being the most popular, they’re all big draws overseas. We Bare Bears sells a LOT of merch in Asia and parts of Europe, even if it doesn’t seem that big of a draw stateside. Hopefully they can make this a tourist spot.

That said, I do hope that they consistently update things in the years to come. Part of the problem with the Nickelodeon Hotel over in Orlando was how stuck it was in the mid-2000′s. Sure, SpongeBob has remained a big draw over the years since, but when I visited the place around 2010 (didn’t stay, but took a tour), it was apparent that if your kids weren’t big fans of Rugrats or Jimmy Neutron, and they probably weren’t around that place until its last days, there wasn’t much reason to stay over.

I do think that Craig deserves his own themed room, and it may be time to swap out Powerpuff for it. Let’s admit that the 2016 reboot was a failure and move on. Or maybe just double down and replace the reboot designs with their classic look.

But hey, my final thoughts on the Cartoon Network Hotel? I had a lot of fun, and got the best sleep I had in ages. I’m not sure if I’d go again, though. At least unless it changes things up a little. Part of the thing is that this is really for the kids who love today’s new shows. And I do really love three of the six shows heavily featured here- four if you count the original Powerpuff. But I’m just not the right age for this place.

If you love any of these shows and/or Cartoon Network’s brand as a whole, I recommend checking this place out, but only if you’re near the area. Don’t make it a pilgrimage. Unless you have enough friends to make grouping up on the Steven Universe Dream Suite worth it.

That said, look at these Bear macrons. So damn cute, and tasty, too!

#my ramblings #cartoon network #cartoon network hotel

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renegadewangs · 3 years ago

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Van Zieks - the Examination, part 4

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

It’s time to take a close look at Episode 2 of the second game, The Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro!

Episode 2-2: The Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro

Remember how in the last episode we vaguely got Barok on our side near the end of the trial by proving Mrs. Garrideb was actually involved in the crime? … Yeah. Forget that progress. It's being undone. Case 2-2 is the first case of the second game which features Barok, which unfortunately means he needs to be 'reintroduced' to the audience and it takes him back several steps in his growth. It makes sense, I suppose, it would've been weird starting a new game with him already being lightly on Ryu's side. Even so, it's a bit insulting how this case acts as if the chronologically previous one accomplished nothing.

So anyway, this case flashbacks to something which supposedly happened right after the first game's fourth case. The day after Soseki's acquittal, even. Turns out, Soseki awoke to find one of the other tenants in his building dead and asked Ryu for help, but (S)Holmes tagged along. Gregson is at the crime scene, keeping an eye on the place and on Soseki in particular since he's suspicious. (Sure, Gregson. Sure. Has nothing to do with the Reaper's curse, probably.) After some investigation with (S)Holmes, Gregson has enough evidence to actually arrest Soseki, which definitely feels like a step backwards. A bit later, it turns out the victim is Not Actually Dead Yet. Again! The Great Ace Attorney really enjoys throwing us for a loop by pretending we're in for another murder case.

Anyway, during the course of the investigation, I found two mentions of Van Zieks. The first is when you investigate the broken glasses and bottles in the victim's room. Susato is immediately reminded of Lord van Zieks.

And when examining Garrideb's old army uniform, Susato points out it might suit Lord van Zieks.

Haha, as if his usual outfit isn't ostentatious enough already. So we learn that Susato doesn't have a very high opinion of him at all, and I should hope it's not still related to that time he called detective novels pathetic. It's fun of them to refer to him in an investigation that he's not involved in in any way, especially when they don't know yet that he's the prosecution again.

Speaking to Soseki in the gaol, we're once again told that he's had a dreadful time in England so far. He sees foreigners everywhere and he's sure they're all laughing at him. He's been so on edge the past year that he's moved 'more times than he can remember'. So once again, we're reminded that racial prejudice in 1900s England is a focal point of this game's story. Once the conversation is over, Gregson appears to let the gang know that the victim has regained consciousness and is accusing Soseki of poisoning him. We're going to trial for an attempted murder charge, y'all!

The next day, in the defendant's lobby, Susato comes bursting in with the dreadful news that Barok van Zieks has once again taken on the prosecution. It's definitely safe to assume now that either Ryu or Soseki is the reason he's taking on these not-really-murder trials when he normally wouldn't. As I mentioned before, this is his reintroduction in the second game and so the game feels compelled to remind the player of what went down in case 1-4:

He sure did! The game also once again reminds us what the Reaper's Curse entails, and that perhaps that's the reason why Soseki is on trial yet again. He's doomed, perhaps. Susato also informs us that (S)Holmes is running late, just as he was two days ago, and Ryu thinks that's a good thing because if the Great Detective were there, Ryu might come to rely on his help.

… I suppose? He already relies on Susato for help and I feel like that would warrant far more 'preying' from Van Zieks than relying on a male, adult British detective for help. Though knowing (S)Holmes, he'd end up stealing the show and taking the words from Ryu's mouth, but that doesn't seem to be what Ryu's worried about here. I suppose the main point to take away from this remark is that Ryu wants to do as much as he can by himself. He wants to appear strong in front of Van Zieks to avoid presenting an easy target, and I think this might actually be the first time we see a sentiment like that from him. Is he afraid of Van Zieks? Does he actually care about the man's opinion? Anyway, he swears to show Van Zieks what a Japanese lawyer can do.

Inside the courtroom, Van Zieks does the usual prosecutor spiel about how the defense needs to be ready for defeat. Ryu thinks to himself that Van Zieks has a particular animosity towards Japanese people for some reason.

Good thing we got a second game in the series, eh? So because the defendant was on trial only two days ago, the same jurors were chosen where possible. The only juror not returning is Mrs. Garrideb, who's too busy being in prison. Her spot is now taken by a very fancy lady we later learn to be the wife of the Altamont Gas Company's owner. She may as well be the CEO herself with how she's acting, though. Anyway, Van Zieks addresses the jurors directly.

“However, the innocent verdict afforded to this eccentric Nipponese before... has had dire consequences. Did the accused repent for his wrongdoing in that affair? Far from it. Instead, he used his freedom to perpetrate a most blood-curdling crime!”

Van Zieks makes record time by taking off his cloak immediately after this line. He's gone straight into overdrive. The witnesses summoned this time are Inspector Gregson and... Soseki? It's very irregular for the defendant to be testifying, especially this early in the trial and especially by the prosecution's request. I can't really make much of it. It feels like the only reason Soseki is testifying is for this joke:

Also found when examining the testimony is a remark from Van Zieks that I honestly found shocking in how ferocious and scummy it is.

Unnecessary, that remark. It didn't need to exist at all in my opinion. So after Ryu shatters the testimony and scatters Gregson's fish 'n chips, Van Zieks calmly pours himself a glass of wine. I have to be honest, by now whenever he does this I'm left wondering what he'll do next. Will he crush the chalice? Will he throw it? Will he actually take a sip? The versatility of the action and unpredictable nature of Van Zieks add a bit of suspense. Turns out, his mind wandered during the testimony.

And then he ends up crushing the glass in his hand anyway. Alas, poor chalice. We knew it. So after a bit of debating back and forth about whether Shamspeare drank the supposedly-poisoned-tea after Soseki left the room, Van Zieks suddenly falls silent. We get three different, consecutive frames of him going “......” and when the judge asks what's wrong, he says this:

Supersonic hearing, this one. That is, unless the carriage entered the courthouse and literally pulled up in the hallway outside the room? Haven't we learned our lesson from the last time a carriage was driven into the Old Bailey?! So Shamspeare was apparently subpoenaed by the prosecution and has shown up to testify (with his doctor's permission). Bad news for us, since he's the one accusing Soseki in the first place. There's also a second witness to support Shamspeare's insistence there were no other visitors to the room and therefore only Soseki could have poisoned him. After that testimony is over, Van Zieks gets his wish and all the jurors vote guilty.

Van Zieks really seems to think that Soseki is a terrible person deserving of justice, huh? He was right there during the previous trial, saw Ryu prove without a shadow of a doubt that Soseki was innocent and still insists that justice will be done “this time”. Calm the heck down man, you're the one who sided with us when Mrs. Garrideb needed to testify, remember? And here comes another example of the game pretending the previous trials didn't leave an impact; when the Summation Examination is brought up, it's with disdain and this remark:

Bro, we used the Summation Examination successfully like five times already. Sit your butt down and watch the show. The jurors once again give prejudiced reasons for their decisions:

And unfortunately, instead of changing their minds by proving Soseki is a morally upstanding, innocent citizen, Ryu instead gets through this Summation Examination by basically proving Shamspeare is a worse person than Soseki. That's... not the direction you should be taking here, narrative. After convincing four of the jurors that Shamspeare is a fishy liar, Van Zieks flings another chalice of wine in frustration. The judge still thinks he could technically pass a ruling on the trial, since the new information didn't exactly disprove that Soseki is the culprit, but the jurors have been influenced so thoroughly that they can't let this new info go ignored. Testimony from the Altamont Company is allowed! Van Zieks thinks it's a waste of time, of course, and if this were reality it would be. Since it's an Ace Attorney game, we know Shamspeare's gas thievery is bound to somehow be related to the incident. Van Zieks flings yet another chalice after hearing the testimony (how many has it been already? Five?) and very shortly after, he tosses the entire bottle over his shoulder. Susato points out that he seems to be in a violent mood. I feel like someone must've pissed in his oatmeal that morning, because I've got no real explanation for why his character regressed this badly in the course of what chronologically was only two days.

Van Zieks flings two more chalices as the testimony progresses to prove that Shamspeare made fake coins to fool the gas meter. At the end of it all, he supposedly 'throws his hand up in despair and happened to catch his hallowed bottle along the way', flinging yet another one of those into the gallery. I'm starting to feel very bad for the people seated behind him now. Is the game overdoing these quirky animations to compensate for his regressed attitude? Because I'm not sure it's working... Van Zieks continues to insist that the situation hasn't changed and only Soseki could have poisoned the victim, so he calls for immediate adjucation. The game gives Ryu the option to either object or wait and see, and I have to be honest, this gave me pause. After what happened with the penalties in case 1-4, I was sure Van Zieks might dish out more punishment for waiting and seeing. Turns out, he doesn't. Ryu points out that Shamspeare likely used the tea to make these fake frozen coins of his, meaning there's still tea left at the scene of the crime which can be tested for poison.

Head in my hands right now. Again, I get it, they basically had to reintroduce Van Zieks to newcomers of the game (however few there might've been) so they had to regress him a bit, but I really don't like this. He honestly felt like he'd grown at the end of 1-4 and the game's not only undone it, it feels like they've made him even more of a scumbag. This line and this gesture honestly doesn’t quite correspond with the character established in the previous game. Anyway, court adjourned till the next day so the police can test the tea for poison.

During the investigation segment, we get a conversation that I'd quite honestly forgotten even exists. Turns out, (S)Holmes and Van Zieks are acquainted! ...or are they? (S)Holmes says he 'must pass the time of day with Mr. Reaper again, as it's been too long' and when asked whether they're acquainted, (S)Holmes replies that there isn't a person in the world who doesn't know his name, expertly dodging the question. Naturally, a new conversation topic opens up about it, so we can still attempt to needle more details out of him.

He explains the history of the Reaper's curse a bit more. Previous defendants found not-guilty would 'disappear from the capital' by falling under a passing carriage, drowning in the Thames, succumbing to a sudden fever... Etc. Susato points out that if those rumors are true, then surely the obvious conclusion would be that they were killed by Van Zieks's own hand. (S)Holmes points out that's impossible, since Van Zieks was already investigated on the matter before and for every single incident, he had a solid alibi. (This... doesn't disprove Van Zieks had anything to do with it, but okay (S)Holmes. Sure.) (S)Holmes also rubs it in yet again that Van Zieks retired from the courts five years ago and didn't return until the day Naruhodo arrived. I honestly don't know why they keep bringing that 5 year hiatus up in every single case, because as far as I can recall it was never fully explained or relevant.

I love how “foul smell” is wedged in-between those two topics as if it's also related. Anyway the conversation continues when Ryu brings up that Van Zieks seems to have a particular disdain for Japanese people. Susato demands to know whether (S)Holmes knows a bit more about it and while he's silent at first, he relents and tells us a tale (which will apparently be forgotten by Ryu and Susato in case 1-5). Van Zieks “chose to enter the legal profession ten years ago, but before that time, the man's closest companion hailed from the empire of Japan”. Which is a wording that baffles me, because it implies that Van Zieks chose to enter the legal profession at the same moment that Japanese person betrayed him, which we know is not the case. He was already in training to be a prosecutor before that, otherwise how could he possibly have prosecuted the Professor trial? Ryu is shocked and asks to know more, but (S)Holmes says the veil on the events from the past will be lifted soon enough. I'll get back to the implications of what this means for Van Zieks's backstory when we hit this exact same reveal in case 1-5.

Van Zieks is mentioned very little in the rest of the investigation segments. We only learn that he tasked Gregson with finding new clues, much to Gregson's dismay, as there isn't much to be found. The Inspector does immediately leap at new information when we uncover it, which implies he's eager to either please Van Zieks or avoid being scolded by him. I'm assuming the latter, but it's also possible Gregson feels guilty over the whole Reaper thing and Klint's autopsy, and is now compensating by working his hardest to fulfill Van Zieks's requests.

At the very end of the investigation, when evening falls, (S)Holmes reminds us that “it'll be hard to escape the grip of our friend, Mr. Reaper”. The next day, in the defendant's lobby just before the trial begins, Ryu thinks to himself that he doesn't believe in the legend of the Reaper any more than he believes in the convict's curse Soseki keeps mentioning. What's interesting here is that Ryu isn't dreading the confrontation anymore. After the McGilded trial he seemed genuinely intimidated by the concept of going up against Van Zieks (not because of the racism but because of what happened to his first defendant), but now he's not so hesitant anymore. He's beginning to see that Van Zieks can be defeated, that the Reaper thing is nonsense and that protecting his client is a fight worth fighting.

Into the courtroom we go for day 2 of the trial! When the judge asks about the results of the tea test, Van Zieks is silent for a moment. He pours himself a glass of wine, asking for a moment to “savour a liquid of a more sanguine hue”, then refers to Gregson for the full report. Gregson confirms no poison was found in the tea remains, but the prosecution wouldn't be the prosecution (and the game would be pretty boring) if they didn't have a backup plan. When Ryu proclaims Soseki is innocent, Van Zieks accuses him of jumping to conclusions, “a typical Nipponese reaction”. It's also a typical prosecution reaction to be hypocritical, no surprises here. He throws his chalice (first one of the day) and summons Shamspeare back to the stand to testify about how Soseki's unpoisoned and undrank cup of tea had been used to make the ice coins.

There's some lines here that I thought I might as well include:

“Yet on occasion, tedium distracts me and I pour more times than I intended until the bottle is dry.”

You know, it occurs to me that this drink is pretty much confirmed to be wine. He's very extra when talking about it himself, but he had his silly little wine analogies in the previous case and Susato referred to his glasses as “wine glasses”. And you would think it's obvious that it's wine, but we know Ace Attorney's long history with 'grape juice'. Either way, this dialogue leaves a pretty harsh implication that Van Zieks drinks alcohol simply to distract himself from troublesome moods. Sure, he says “tedium”, but this is a stoic prosecutor in the year 1900. They referred to depression as “melancholia” back then, and since he doesn't appear to have any friends, I expect he experiences “tedium” quite often outside the courtroom. He apparently set a rule for himself not to fill his glass more than seven times during a trial which, in turn, implies he's aware any more would cause problems. All of this is moot, of course, since 80% of the wine he pours for himself ends up on the floor between shards of glass. Still, though... Zieks, are you okay?

I don't think he is, because he pulls a very dirty trick here. Ryu proves Soseki drank all his tea and therefore it couldn't possibly have been used, so Van Zieks insinuates to Shamspeare that perhaps he misremembered using the tea from Soseki's cup and instead used tea still left in the teapot. An excuse Shamspeare happily takes, of course. Not gonna lie, I got angry, not because it's a dirty trick but because it's inconsistent. This is the very same character who all but dragged Mrs. Garrideb down from the juror bench to testify when it became clear she likely threw a knife out the window. And now he's feeding slippery excuses to a man who's very clearly lying about all sorts of things? What??? And remember this incident, because I'm going to be referring back to it later.

He crushes another chalice, removes his cloak and continues to insist that we should believe this thieving liar at the witness stand. The jurors for some reason buy the baloney served to them on a tinfoil platter and even twist Ryu's sentiments around, with some bloke going as far as to interpret the situation as 'the lawyer lad believes anyone who steals gas deserves to be poisoned'. Summation Examination gets very funky this time around, with the outcome being that Shamspeare probably blew the gas pipes (s-snerk) and the poison was laced on the pipe.

Van Zieks pours himself a glass of wine and pretty much immediately flings it, saying these are all empty assertions without a shred of proof. When Ryu presents the picture with the skin prints, Van Zieks once again breaks the rule of the prosecution staying silent during Summation Examination to point out that skin prints cannot be used as evidence, since that method is not recognized by the court (yet). Aaand he crushes yet another chalice in his hand.

Susato claims it was never meant to be used as official evidence, it was only a tool to demonstrate a new possibility to the jury. Jumping through some loopholes here, we are, since the picture is clearly in our Court Record as evidence. But, well, the prosecution cheats too so what's the harm? Some jurors vote not-guilty, but there's still one more that needs convincing on order to keep the trial going. Ryu says he has a witness who's already testified that the pipe-blowing incident did indeed occur that night, as Soseki stated the other day before the court that his stove went out in the dead of night. (Hang on, is this why the narrative made him testify alongside Gregson?) With that the majority of the jury votes not-guilty and the trial has to continue, but Van Zieks is extra rattled now. (Another bottle goes soaring.)

He once again reminds the court that skin prints aren't admissible evidence and therefore, there is no real proof Shamspeare put his mouth to the pipes (ghghhh I'm sorry this is such a silly thing to have to type out). Ryu asks for an investigative team to test the mouth of the gas pipe for poison, but since it would've evaporated by now, that's a no-go. Also, Van Zieks says that “what appears to be simple is my Nipponese friend's mind” and that's a scumbag point. Ryu attempts to turn the trial around by claiming that Shamspeare attempted to kill Soseki, making the defendant the victim, but Van Zieks ain't having it. The aggrieved being the accused is an interesting notion, but doesn't change what actually happened. In fact, if anything, it establishes a motive for Soseki to lay a trap for Shamspeare. Because who else could have known about the gas pipe trickery and put the poison there, right? Why, the true culprit, of course.

Our man Van Zieks really doesn't like (S)Holmes, huh? A tidbit which the games will never bother to explain! Either way, Ryu raises the name of Olive Green, the victim of the previous case. And I gotta say, I do genuinely like the way they integrated these two Clouded Kokoro cases together. The chronology of everything that went down is very fun to decipher, but long story short, Olive Green was at Briar Road the day she was stabbed for a reason and knows more about the 'convict curse' Soseki and Garrideb kept mentioning, so let's drag her into court! Van Zieks agrees to subpoena Miss Green in order to 'see his Nipponese friend's farce through to its conclusion'.

So during intermission some more evidence is handed to Ryu and when trial resumes, Van Zieks continues to be his usual self.

“The prosecution has tried to extend every courtesy to this amateur newcomer from dubious Eastern shores.”

Ryu sweats bullets as he meekly thanks Van Zieks “(for his backhanded consideration)”, but once again the judge is the one to call Van Zieks out on his attitude.

Amazing. It's so refreshing to see a judge who actually disagrees with the prosecution's haughty attitude problems and acknowledges it has no place in a courtroom. Nothing against Udgey, because we all love Udgey (and his Canadian brother), but this man actually grows and learns. So Olive Green takes the stand alongside Shamspeare (maybe not the best idea since Ryu just accused her of trying to murder this man) for dual testimony. When Green brings up what a dreadful ordeal the knife to her back was, Van Zieks says this:

Hang on, empathy? He's giving her advice? This reeks of humanization! Green seems taken aback and thanks him for his words, so the sentiment was genuinely accepted. This in itself is a very nice scene to see in action, similar to Van Zieks allowing Roly Beate to keep his job. Unfortunately, Van Zieks's character is in a wild rollercoaster of moral inconsistency during this particular case which sours the experience somewhat. Case in point:

YOOOU hypocrite! This actively angered me, because at the very start of this same trial day he was personally feeding lies to Shamspeare. Now he's warning Green not to lie? It gets even worse a bit later on when Green gets cornered about stealing the note, she asks him whether it could all be some sort of misunderstanding, and he says:

ACTIVELY FEEDING SHAMSPEARE A LIE. THE VERY SAME DAY. I'm all for prosecutors using dirty tactics. It helps to juxtapose them further to the honest defense attorney we play as. However, it needs to be consistent. Either a prosecutor condones a witness's lies to help their case, or they feel that they're above it. The third, most used option is for them to start off condoning it, only to learn that truth takes priority over victory. This sloppy back-and-forth morality that Van Zieks has going on here is insanely frustrating, so it's no wonder some players end up disliking him. It honestly feels as if they rewrote this case so many times, they screwed up the exact growth trajectory Van Zieks has.

Anyway, it seems Van Zieks is suddenly fully on our side now to help Ryu prove that Green was in Shamspeare's room and laced the gas pipe with poison. And I mean help help. When the judge points out that if Green had laced the pipe the very same day she was stabbed, the attempted murder would have happened six days ago. Van Zieks is the one to say “Perhaps not, My Lord” and explain Briar Road was full of police at that time. At this point, Van Zieks and Ryu (and also Susato) actively start to take turns to explain the proper chronology of events. So the defense and the prosecution are in perfect sync right now, working together to explain the whodunnit. This is the ideal outcome to any trial, usually not seen until the last case of the game, so it's curious that this dynamic abruptly shows itself in a case like this. Van Zieks does still have one moment of gaslighting when he claims Ryu may have inhaled some dubious gas, causing his judgment to be clouded, since there's no motive behind Shamspeare's attempts on his fellow lodgers. A matter that's very easily resolved, of course. Once the name of Selden is brought up, Van Zieks continues our little game of back-and-forth-truth-reveal until (S)Holmes shows his face.

“Your usual haunts are the filthy backstreets of the capital, are they not?”

To which (S)Holmes replies that it's been too long, and Van Zieks's complexion has worsened since last they met. Alright, so Van Zieks and (S)Holmes definitely have met in person before, some undetermined amount of time ago. You'd think that going by (S)Holmes's friendly attitude they might've even been friends once, but our great detective is like that towards everyone. This is evidenced by an earlier encounter with Gregson where (S)Holmes insists they're friends and Gregson says that they're not friends, to which (S)Holmes quietly agrees. So really, this little exchange tells us nothing about the history between the great detective and the Reaper.

Some shenaniganry, a breakdown and admittance to guilt later, the court is finally ready to deem Soseki innocent. Van Zieks once again has some interesting lines here:

“And one I certainly didn't envisage walking... with you.”

Considering he attempted to trip us up for most of this walk up until the very last stretch, I don't like this remark very much. It feels very unearned. This is another one of those things that would've been more suitable in the last case of the game, but instead it's being crammed into a messy mid-game moment with the pretense that Van Zieks learned a lesson about being our ally.

In the defendant's lobby, the game basically gives the exact same dialogue as at the end of the original Clouded Kokoro case; that Soseki is returning to Japan and hopes to pen his own literature there, with the rest of the cast pointing out that the Reaper's Curse must factor into his decision to some degree. So we're still holding onto that question of whether Soseki will escape an untimely death or not. Anyone who's already played the last case of the first game will know the answer, of course.

So to summarize... I genuinely didn't enjoy Van Zieks's portrayal in this case. It really feels as if something went horribly wrong and they got some notes mixed up about where his character was already headed in the previous game. It's a crying shame. There was a lot of potential for a case set between 1-4 and 1-5, but they really dropped the ball when it comes to consistency and I've no doubt that it reflected badly on people's opinions of him. Though I think when we return to the first game for The Unspeakable Story, everything will right itself out again to some degree. Stay tuned!

#dgs #dgs spoilers #tgaa #tgaa spoilers #barok van zieks #MAN I got frustrated with this one #what happened here???

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