#posts that make zero sense out of context
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WHY IS MARIAH CAREY IN FORTNITE
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WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THE PV WE GOT LIKE A YEAR AGO WAS ACTUALLY AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE!???
#text post#link click spoilers#i'm not tagging this bc too much work to explain and makes zero sense out of context lol but#the pv we got during that bilibili conference like a year ago was this airport scene right??#but in this ep it is distinctly different AND it gets referred back to so like#i feel like that's what they're doing#and if so that's WILD that that's what they chose to include in the pv lol
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every time there's a discussion about Religion (as a general institution) on this website I end up sitting in the corner like
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Twitch just became canon in furry california with free healthcare and lesser temperatures
#moth post#thsi makes zero sense out of context#i have a bunch of furry ocs w my friend and they live in cali bc we were 12 and thought it was cool and now its too late to move them#so i decided cali has free healthcare in this universe
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Me, typing away at this fun and large WIP: Oh what fun! Oh what angst! Oh what absolute heartache and pain I shall bring to people!
(It’s angst with a happy ending, I swear people. You just gotta trust me.)
#venus speaks#Listen I wanna be very clear that I am writing this for me and I hope people will enjoy the journey and experience with me#but that also means I am keeping a lot of this locked down and hidden away in some secret cave on a deserted mountain#because I wanna write this with little to no outside influence so it can be just me and this story#so watch out for vague as hell posts that will make no sense and hold zero context#they’ll be… around…
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SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY
thank you for the tag @chen-chen-chen-again-chen! <33
this time i do have six sentences to share, and i'm actually really excited for this fic, but i don't know how it'll turn out
anyway
He comes out of the cabin and flashes me a cute little smile.
He looks angelic.
He’s dressed in white, and his hair is flowing in the wind. He’s holding the flower between his thumb and index finger, and is nervously fiddling with it. I take it from him as I step closer to him, and place it in his hair.
“You look absolutely beautiful.”
this fic was inspired by a video i saw the other day, but knowing myself i'm not sure i'll ever finish it. i'll give it a few tries, and if nothing comes out of it then i'll share it as a prompt or something
tagging: @thewholelemon @themandilorian @enbysiriusblack @queerdeadwizards @euphorial-docx @raenestee @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @larkral @aroace-genderfluid-sheep
i hope y'all have a lovely day! <33
#six sentence sunday#i know the bit i posted makes no sense bc i gave like zero context#but i wanna keep it that way in case i change my mind or something#but i really want to carry in with this fic and get it out of my mind and put it in the doc instead#anyway#snowbaz
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I'm back on my bullshit!
College has been chaos so and I've been wanting to have some time to work on my fics, which I finally have now that work has me on a reasonable schedule! :D
This is for One Foot in The Door
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I like to do a little sketch before I start writing each chapter. It helps me get in the right mindset as well as gives me a little reference if a character has a cool outfit that I want to describe in the chapter.
Most of the time, my sketches don't actually happen in the chapter and are instead funny little scenarios that I picture in my head. Though sometimes the sketch is what inspires the chapter. Like one fic (I'm keeping it for myself until I have enough chapters for me to feel comfortable posting on a schedule) I had no idea what to do between chapter 3 and 5, I was actually just thinking of doing a timeskip and just making chapter 5 chapter 4. Then I drew a little sketch of a little kid climbing around his uncle like a jungle gym and BOOM.
Chapter 4 suddenly became a sweet filler chapter where I build relationships and have a little bit of crack and fluff for the soul! (It also let me do a bit of worldbuilding because I am an absolute SLUT for worlsbuilding)
Anyway if someone who's reading my fics somehow found my blog (how????) Chapter 3 will be out soon! Get ready for some tomfoolery and sweet Izucho shenanigans!
#fics#fanfics#fan fiction#mha#bnha#i also dont remember if I posted about this or not but#Izuku's quirk for OFiTD is actually based off of a quirk feature I was going to give to my secret fic#but it didn't really fit with the hand part of the quirk#yeah that makes absolutely zero sense without context and I love it#basically secret quirk relies alot on hand motions and sleight of hand for it's almost magical mechanics and appearance#yes that is a hint if you're trying to figure out what it is#i KNOW i have a post about it somewhere on my blog#buried beneath the reblogs and random bullshit
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The Note on Ross's Insta IS Byler Content!! (Handwriting Analysis and Context)
Okay, so on my Twt tl and on byler tumblr i've seen this (kind of flirty?) note that was posted by Ross Duffer on insta during filming resurface a lot:
As one person pointed out a while back, the only character we really see with a Rubik's Cube is Mike, which you can see that he keeps in his bedroom on his nightstand in season 1:
So, we can take a guess from this and say that the note is probably in Mike's room, or at least in his house... But who is it from?
(this is where I become a detective, haha)
SO, some people had pointed out that the handwriting kind of looked like Noah's, but I have noticed that some of the cast have similar handwritings so I wanted to put it to the test:
First, I found the interview Finn, Noah, and Millie did where they're writing on whiteboards, and I took screenshots of all of Noah's answers to compare:
Then, I did a side-bye-side of some letters (and one letter combo) and......
There is zero doubt in my mind that Noah wrote this note, especially when looking at the handwriting for the 'e' and the 'go' it's a basically perfect match!
Now, a lot of people have argued (and reasonably so) that this is probably just a note that Noah left out of character for the Duffers or some other cast member, but I want to explain why I think that it's actually likely that it may be part of the show:
Firstly, if you look at the script resting next to the note, you can make out only a couple words, but the one that stands out to me is "message:" In my opinion, it wouldn't make much sense for the Duffers to be casually be carrying the script and setting it down to take pictures in a character's room if there isn't something being filmed there, especially when we can assume from "message:" that the note or some other written message will be shown.
Also, it honestly makes sense in terms of the plot - this post was on day 1 of filming, and we know that they filmed portions of episode one that day, where we are almost definitely going to see the Byers staying at the Wheelers' (and therefore Will staying in Mike's room), meaning that it would make sense for Will to be leaving this note at some point in that episode
In all I obviously don't think this note is an actual plot point, but it is a cute easter egg and little bit of a look into Mike and Will's s5 dynamic if it really is part of the series :)
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I always feel like a little sad seeing posts about how Jason's character is inherently tragic and that's what makes it good, how him being unloved, a tragic consequence of his own actions, is inevitable, and how that shouldn't change because any change on that regard is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character. Yes, Under the Hood is a tragedy. Yes, Jason survived and for a long time people have been pretty confused at what to do with the character that survives the tragic ending. That doesn't mean he should continue to be trapped in the tragedy, that there's only value in him as long as he's unloved. And maybe that's me preaching and being a party pooper again but the idea that the teenage-to-young adult character with a mental illness that has damaged all his relationships is doomed to be lonely and have bad/upended relationships forever, that he's only good as a character as long as he's hurting others and/or himself (and usually both) and isolated because of this... It's sad, at the very least. I refuse the presumption that tragedies are the only stories wise and worth telling.
Also I personally really dislike the idea that Jason isn't and shouldn't be anyone's favourite, because he made himself nobody's favourite on purpose. Did he make himself a villain on purpose? Fuck yeah. Does any of his early attempts at reaching out to people hurt them? Indubitably. I maintain that this is because he wants to be someone's favourite as he is, at his worst, with his hands covered in blood. And I think he should be. (Without contradicting or damaging, by comparison, the relationships between other characters, that's the tightrope we need to be weary of when making such things, of course.)
It's like this: love, in most relationships, is conditional: you don't owe your friend or your partner to continue to love them if the relationship changes, if you change, if you become violent etc. If my girlfriend started murdering puppies, I would stop loving her. Ideally, however a parent's love for their child is unconditional. That's very often unfortunately not the case, but ideally it'd be, it's really not great for a kid to have zero parents that love them unconditionally. And most importantly, it's not just about actual unconditional love, it's about it being perceived. So it doesn't matter in the debate if Bruce actually loves Jason in spite of the murder, it matters that Jason asks for confirmation of it at the end of UTH and receives a negative answer. (similar arguments to be made about Catherine loving Jason and dying of drug overdose and Willis going to jail and dying - it's the potential perceived abandonment of it that would matter, not their agency and actual love. And it's not a question of whether he would be angry at it so much as that he'd yearn and hurt for it. And of course Sheila didn't love him at all.) That's why he, upon learning about Mia and reaching previously unknown to man levels of projection*, tries to rally her with the hope that, because she's "so similar to him" she would understand him. That's why upon learning about Dick "killing" Blockbuster Jason, again projecting more violently than a bullet, Jason makes Dick into his new favourite person (god, the concept behind BiB has so much potential why did it have to suck so bad...) Anyway, Jason to me is a character with a very intense, very overwhelming conception of love both in who he loves and how, who struggles to understand that other people love and show it differently, and it makes so much sense for him to keep looking for a person who will love him unconditionally (something that's both very rare and not necessarily healthy since, again, most relationships aside from parent-child relationships do not and probably should not include unconditional love). This is particularly interesting in the context of him having bpd (again, using bpd because i'm focusing on the interpersonal dimension that's been mostly studied within that frame) because BPD often functions around a vicious circle of "is afraid of rejection/abandonment -> does maladaptive behaviour in attempt to prevent rejection/abandonment OR protect oneself by being the one to leave first" which is what leads to the instability in relationships. It's a doomed prophecy: i have maladaptive patterns that make me think my girlfriend is gonna leave me at any time, I keep demanding to see her phone, assuming she's cheating everytime she leaves and thus demonizing her even though I was glorifying her five minutes earlier" then she's going to leave me, which is gonna reinforce my thought pattern that everyone always leaves me. But that also means that in rare instances in which the other person in the interact, for whichever reason, sticks around through that, then these incorrect thought patterns begin to change through the sheet logic of extinction: if i think that people always leave me because of something fundamentally wrong with me and people don't leave then eventually the idea that people are doomed to abandon/reject me is going to lose its power. That's, btw, an important part of why therapy works.
(*that one's a joke, btw. He's not projecting onto mia and dick to levels impossible to mankind, just pretty intensely. Very human levels of projection, might I add'. Just to clarify.)
Now, be mindful: I'm not saying make Jason an abusive boyfriend. I'm not saying put him in a relationship where the other stays because they're afraid of him, that's not unconditional love or acceptance that's just fear. Of course, the ideal version of it would be Jason goes to therapy but because dc hates me specifically this is never gonna happen, but imagine him being in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, with someone who is as intense and "unwell" about him as he is about them. I'm not saying it would fix him (again, get him so goddamn therapy jfc) but it would change him. And just as it doesn't have to be healthy it doesn't have to be tragic.
I was asked a while ago my thoughts on Jason's current stagnancy as a character and if I thought he could become interesting again, and I said yes and talked about the directions I dream would be explored with his character and their potential. My answer hasn't changed, and it's completely compatible with this, but I will add: I think Jason as a character has largely and for long enough been defined through his yearning to be somebody's favourite, and that if you want his mode of interacting with others and dynamic with different characters to change then this is a very logical way to do it. And it would make a lot of sense for it to be the catalyst for other changes in his character (ie in his name or philosophy).
Get that boy into a super intense long-term codependent situationship, is what I'm saying. Please.
#dc#jason todd#dc comics#red hood#i'm only talking about Jason's part in this and not who I think would fit best in that context#even though I already have a candidate in mind#because it needs to be equivalent exchange for the characters too.#aka i need to be sure it'd be interesting for this character's arc to be this intense towards him as well#and so further research is needed before i'm sure of my answer#jason todd meta#this was supposed to be two sentences if you can believe it
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The Arsonist Theory, Part 1: Mandibles!
Eight years ago, a few weeks shy of the day itself, I wrote something called The Arsonist Theory. It was my last theory post before making this blog, and looking back, it was disorganized, and I could have presented it better.
So, with new evidence, I'm doing just that.
The core of the theory is this: You don't blame the arson itself for a fire. You blame the arsonist that set the fire in the first place. There is a secret third piece of the puzzle here- not the act of arson, not the fire itself, but something more.
Therefore, consider this: Bill was not the sole perpetrator of the Euclidean Massacre. Rather, he was a weapon used to commit it.
Like the original, this will be a four-part theory, just to make it more digestible. I'll refer back to the original on occasion, but most of it will be new information.
Oh, and-
MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK OF BILL UNDER THE CUT. THIS INCLUDES THE TEXT ITSELF AND SOLUTIONS TO CIPHERS.
With that out of the way, let's go.
In another post, I mentioned that the specific wording of "Saw his own dimension burn" having a very passive connotation to it, plus parts of the glitched page, shown here- make it incredibly likely, if not certain, that the massacre was an accident on Bill's part.
Bill's main intention was to show everyone what he had seen all along-- show them that he wasn't crazy. But that's not what happened.
Also, just as an aside- part three of the original theory has some examples of exact wording being a thing to pay attention to in matters surrounding Bill. It mostly concerns his deals with others, but in a Doylist sense, it tells us: exact wording is important with this character, so pay attention.
But let's put a pin in that for a second.
On the page teaching us how to trick everyone into loving us, there's a portion about conversation topics:
The cipher in the candy heart says "LIES," by the way, and it's the only cipher on the page- immediately setting this portion apart from all the others. Bill says here that one conversation topic on a date-- while meeting someone-- is the very specific term, "mandibles."
Say, where have I seen that recently?
Huh... that's interesting! What a specific word to come up twice, in these specific contexts! Remember what I said about exact wording? Sure you do, you have a very good memory, I admire that about you!
But that's not everything I noticed.
All that glitching? You can actually see text peeking out at certain points. And what does that text say?
"Nice to meet ya!"
Over and over and over again.
There's nothing else in my mind that can make this make sense to me. There was someone else there. He met up with someone.
But that's not all- I still have three more posts of evidence to write.
Check back here for links to them- they should all come out within the next day or two, and I'm gunning for all of it to be out before the countdown on thisisnotawebsitedotcom hits zero.
Part 2: We get it, the billboard is a metaphor
Part 3: Journey To The Vicious Spiral Nebula
Part 4: Blame The Arson, Not The Fire
#bill cipher#the book of bill#bob spoilers#tbob spoilers#gravity falls theory#gravity falls#gravity falls meta#someone: who tf writes a metapost at 4 in the morning#my ass: OH BOY 4AM!!!! *opens tumblr*#anyway yeah! more 2 come 2morrow!
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ok so forewarning, i don’t really have a question here, just lots of thoughts.
there’s so many layers to the general *badness* about the mia vallens therapy scene. like to the manipulation (for lack of a better word) that sam rewrites. like it makes such a difference that she thinks jack is their little brother instead of the son of the thing that killed dean’s best friend/loml. not to mention the fact that it’s been what like a week since *everything*
and like yes dean’s being cold towards jack and giving him orders (which, i could argue they weren’t uncalled-for), but tbh he’s only being moderately colder/more direct with him than he’s been with cas at times on hunts (thinking hunteri heroici) and even similar to how *sam* has been with like claire and even dean himself (thinking that episode dean turned into a teenager and all of MOC). like genuinely, how was sam expecting him to act like?
also (half joking) i genuinely think dean would’ve warmed up to jack even quicker than he did (we can already see it in this same episode, like that look he gives jack when he asks mia if buddy hurt her too) if he heard jack say he hates anakin skywalker lol
ok wait i do have a question. do you think jack actually was “terrified” of dean during that therapy scene?
(post linking to some context)
Okay so I rewatched 13.01-13.04 on a plane this past week so it's all extra fresh on my mind rn. The thing about 13.04 is that Dean wasn't comfortable bringing Jack on the hunt, and Jack didn't want to go, but Sam pushed insistently for all of them to go on the hunt together... primarily because Dean's feelings were thwarting Sam's plans for Jack and his own emotional coping mechanisms in a larger sense.
I think Dean's feelings compared to Sam's here are relatively more simple (and yet somehow still intensely misunderstood to a baffling degree). Dean was grieving. He was grieving Cas who died right in front of him, he was grieving Crowley (he pleads with Chuck to bring "even Crowley" back in 13.01!) and he was grieving Mary.
The thing with Dean's grief over Cas is this: instead of viewing it from Dean's perspective, we tend to analyze it as omniscient viewers who know Cas will come back, refusing see how miraculous Cas’s return truly was. We refuse to see Cas's death was different this time and appeared very permanent. There was no uncertainty like there was in season 7 or 8. His wings burned into the ground and his grace extinguished. Dean pleaded and prayed for Cas and Mary and Crowley's return to the only person who ever brought Cas back from certain death (via explosion in 5.01 and 5.22)—the person who told Dean in 11.23 he was leaving and Dean was on his own. Dean didn't hear back. The ONLY reason Cas comes back in 13.05 is that 1) Jack woke him him up unwittingly using powers no one knew he possessed and 2) Cas then annoyed a creature they didn't even know existed into letting him out of a place they 3) didn't even know existed and 4) Cas somehow came back with a body even though he had been burned to ash. All of this is completely miraculous. It was unforeseeable. It doesn’t even make complete sense as a viewer. In other words, Dean has ZERO reason to hope for Cas's return. There was ZERO reason to refuse to acknowledge that grief… but that's exactly what Sam does. He suggests Dean pray for Chuck to bring Cas back in 13.01. As soon as Sam knew Dean already tried that and Cas was DEAD dead, he treated Cas as something Dean needed to reframe and get over:
SAM: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do.
This is the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" speech in 13.02—like a day after they burned Cas's body. Sam's wording here is cruel too—saying Dean is "thinking" Cas is gone as if he didn't die right in front of him? He refuses to acknowledge Cas's death as something Dean was actively and rightfully mourning. This becomes a major point of contention between the brothers at the end of 13.03.
DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use [Jack] as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!
Sam will only name Mary—the one person whose death they can’t 100% confirm (the same thing happens in front of Mia in 13.04). The absence of Cas’s name here is pointed. So Dean says:
DEAN: And what about Cas?
And how does Sam respond?
SAM: What about Cas?
Uh... wow. That's what really sets Dean off to full on shouting:
DEAN: [Jack] manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!
Sam's denial of what Dean literally SAW (Cas died) and how that hurts—his insistence that Dean also halt grieving to hope for the impossible—it's a major sticking point and very revealing of Sam's own coping mechanisms. Sam's chief response to grief is to disassociate himself from it. We see a textbook case in season 8 (see: 8.08), but in most of the series, what this actually looks like for Sam is to keep moving and hunting (ex: 1.02, 2.02, 2.10, 2.11, 2.18 3.11, 4.09, 9.01) which is also why he insists on bringing Dean and Jack on the hunt in 13.04. Sam tries not to think about what they've lost and focuses on what he CAN do. He focuses on hoping Mary can be saved because she's the one person he didn't SEE die.
The thing about Dean’s grief over Mary is this: he convinces himself Lucifer had to have killed her. She's the one person whose death Dean can't be certain of, but he absolutely cannot bear the thought of hoping she’s alive and it turning out he’s wrong. He knows he wouldn’t psychologically survive hoping in that and his beliefs being crushed. It would be like losing his mom all over again (a THIRD time). So he sticks to what is most likely: Lucifer killed her. He can't contend with the hope Sam is clinging to desperately, and that's what makes them such poor companions in grief. Sam feels off balance when Dean won't keep moving and hoping like him—when Dean can't keep up the pace Sam wants to run at in his own grief—and in doing so, Sam keeps pushing Dean to contend with hopes that open Dean up to a WORLD of pain Sam can psychologically convince himself not to feel. Grieving together just really just doesn't work for them because they're never on the same page and deal in such different ways—and this has been hurting them from as early as 2.02!!!
Now to bring Jack into this more fully: Jack represents Sam and Dean's different perspectives on grief and on Mary. Just like Dean despairs over Mary's demise, Dean despairs over the possibility of Jack being good. He can't bear the idea of hoping in that and being wrong. The psychologically safest option for him is to assume the worst and not hope or believe in anything turning out okay.
Sam, on the other hand, pretty much immediately sees a way to use Jack to get Mary back. This is clear when he and Jack get locked up together in the jail cell in 13.01. After establishing that Jack isn't hearing things and (probably) isn't going to murder him imminently, Sam immediately starts down a line of questioning establishing how well Jack understands his powers, and then asks him outright:
SAM: Jack, look, um... before you were born, you -- you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? JACK: Yes. SAM: Okay, um, could you do that again?
Shortly after, when Sam arrives, he tells Dean (who is convinced after everything that happened in 12.23 that 12.19 that Jack is evil or will turn evil):
We need him.
Sam repeats this sentiment multiple times with clear meaning, and later in 13.04, he admits to Jack that he wants to use him to open the portal. This doesn't mean he doesn't also grow to see himself in Jack quickly and genuinely believe in his capacity for good, but he isn't fully honest with Jack about his motives until 13.04 where he finally comes clean, and this poisons the well with Jack a little.
@shallowseeker has pointed out before that in 13.03, while trying to figure out how to get Jack's powers to work (and spying on Jack through cameras from another room) Sam is seen reading "The Drama Of The Gifted Child". I wish I could find the post because Shal probably brought it up too, but when I was rewatching this episode, I noticed the chapter Sam had just settled into read before being interrupted was titled,
"Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial"
Given the accusations flying from Sam toward Dean then from Dean toward Sam about denial in the following episode (13.04), this feels amusingly pointed. Dean is depressed (and about to attempt suicide in 13.05), Sam is depressed and has "grandiose" ideas of using Jack to pop open a portal to another reality while hiding behind the guise of being the most rational person in the room when he... isn't necessarily? And it's easy to argue "Well, Sam turns out to be right even if he didn't ultimately have much of a reason to think he was" but the core problem here is how his beliefs effect how he treats other people's grief. He isn't honest with Jack about his motives (while Dean is somewhat brutally honest) and pushes and watches even while claiming he's giving Jack space (13.03), he refuses to give Dean space to grieve even the family member they know is dead, he inserts a therapist into the situation and criticizes Dean's grief when Dean won't play his game, and in 13.05, after Dean says that he can't believe in anything right now, Sam's clumsy attempts at help involve plying Dean with alcohol he says he doesn't even want and trying to send him off to strip clubs—believing that Dean performing being okay will somehow address his mental state because Sam's idea of coping himself is simply "going through the motions".
As for Jack, I don't think he's scared of Dean. I think he's scared of what Dean believes. He's scared that Dean is right. From 13.01-13.06, Jack is contending with the question of whether he's destined for evil or good, and in his depressed state, Dean believes Jack is destined for evil because hoping in anything is completely beyond him at that moment. Sam tells Jack that he can be good, but he hides ulterior motives as to why he's being nice, and when those ulterior motives are revealed, it leaves Jack thinking Sam is the kind of person who will lie to Jack and tell him he's good just to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Jack knows Dean is being completely honest with him about what he believes. 13.03 and 13.04 clearly demonstrate that Jack understands the difference between beliefs and facts: Dean could be right or he could be wrong. What Jack holds onto like an anchor is that he can trust Dean to tell him the truth about what he believes—even if it hurts.
It's also just so obvious that Jack immediately wants Dean—specifically—to like him (see: Jack mimicking Dean's mannerisms while eating in 13.02, and his clumsy attempts to earn his favor in 13.04). Sam also picks up on this, and encourages Jack to seek Dean's approval in 13.04 to try and change Dean's beliefs. Sam (and to some extent Jack) are thinking in 13.04, that if Jack can prove to Dean that he can be good, and if Dean tells him he did a good job (which Dean does in the end), Jack can believe that. Sam sees that Jack wants Dean's approval and the impression that Dean's beliefs have had on Jack and thinks by pushing them together as soon as possible (when neither of them want to go on the hunt) and treating them as a family and forcing Dean to accept Jack when Dean just isn't ready (including by paralleling Jack with himself in a way that becomes an accusation), he can "fix" Jack so he isn't scared of his powers anymore (13.03) and then he can teach Jack to use his powers and Jack can open a portal to save their mom.
Jack's attempts to earn Dean's favor in 13.04 are clumsy. His first attempt is directly ignoring Dean telling him to wait in the car and sneaking into the crime scene, potentially contaminating it. At Mia's office, Jack's outburst about losing a mother is what allows Sam to set up the whole family therapy trap to begin with, and because Dean knows Sam is going to use that to hurt him, he warns Jack not to make outbursts like that. Dean is not being nice. Point blank. And I do think his tone is a little different than with Cas which in the past felt more like exasperation. I also don’t think it makes him the devil. I think that's understandable when putting in even a tiny amount of effort and it's kind of laughable to me how few people seem to even try because they're so caught up in Sam's happy family narrative and the idea that someone wanting Dean's approval presents an obligation that Dean give it no matter how emotionally impossible—and in a situation where asking him to lie would actually destroy that much more of Jack's trust.
#13.01#13.02#13.03#13.04#13.05#dean and mary#mary#dean and jack#jack#and cas is my best friend#the flannel business#bad therapist sam#season 13#mail#i just stopped#sam and grief#dean and grief
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I am curious if you think the campaign wrap up will perhaps address some of the campaign shortcomings or challenges the cast faced in trying to land this campaign narratively, especially in comparison to previous campaigns? Not that they would disparage the whole campaign - but like a little “yeah this didn’t work as well as we wanted at times?”
It’s odd because I find myself weirdly optimistic about CR as a whole despite this campaign’s possible lackluster ending, so I guess I’m hoping the campaign wrap up acknowledges that this campaign didn’t always play to their strengths in hopes that their next long form venture does more, idk.
I don't know if it will but. that's precisely the tenor any question I send will have: I don't think the fundamental concept is the issue - hell, I don't even think killing the gods is actually a problem if you appropriately set up a scenario where killing the gods has a motivation other than "mortals were mean to me in their name" [thing that happens irl all the time in a world with zero proof of divinity, in my religiously observant ideologically agnostic and skeptical opinion] or "I have issues with my parents I never worked towards so I've projected this onto The Ultimate Parents instead of like. being fucking normal." But it needed a lot more scaffolding at the VERY least in the prep for this campaign, and actually, to be blunt, if you want to make this a balanced issue you needed to seed this concept through prior campaigns in a meaningful way. There's a reason pretty much everyone who defends this campaign as Extremely Good, Actually is either doing some form of wildly revisionist history of the fandom and the past campaigns that's demonstrably false if you were like. there; or else they started with C3 and decided they were an expert despite being of below-average literacy and deeply below average personality and have to resort to such miserable efforts as "arguing that canon isn't real" and "posting an out of context Le Guin quote over and over in the hopes we won't notice they're actually 511 mice in a trenchcoat who can't actually read". So yeah I hope Matt is like this was an ambitious project and I'd have done many things differently.
I do wonder what's next for CR, because as I mentioned, it feels like the cast is stronger in shorter form; that even the other longform shows are moving to shorter form right now; and that WBN and C3 kind of show the limits/failings of longform. I hope they do another longform campaign at some point in the future, but it might make sense to take an extended break and play in the space for a while. They only took about 4 months between campaigns for the past two and maybe it would be good to take longer and focus on Daggerheart, Candela, and EXU for much of the year and if they do longform wait 8-10 months, especially with the comparatively extensive touring schedule this year.
I also hasten to add, and I mentioned this briefly in talking about CRPGs, but I think there's a Third Campaign Dip that's not inevitable (NADDPod didn't really have it; TAZ switches systems enough that it's not an issue) but definitely hit here, that doesn't apply to a fourth one. Like, for CRPGs (girl who's played Veilguard twice and gotten through the first day of Disco Elysium voice) it feels like the first run is following what seems most fun to you and then the second is playing around with other choices that maybe aren't as appealing just to see what happens, and then for the third and future runs you kind of know the full lay of the land and what you'll like while still allowing for a range of choices. For class-based TTRPGs, the first is the self-insert/thing that's fairly comfortable and easy/character you've dreamed of; the second is what you do now that you know how this works; and then the third can be...an overextension, shall we say. I think after that you figure out, again, the bounds of your comfort zone, how much you can stretch it, and what you don't like, you're in a much more consistent footing.
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approaching The Confession Scene and what the fuck. this is genuinely tragic like I’ve always seen it as a meme, a joke, an iconic moment in fandom history, whatever, I’m a tumblr user, but now that I’m actually here it’s just fucking SAD
season 15 as a whole is NOT bad. it’s really not. but there’s zero destiel. they rarely speak at all unless it’s plot-related, one (1) episode pairs them together, frankly season seven was ten times more focused on their friendship and that’s INSANE because cas is only in like five fucking episodes of that one. they have a mini arc midway through the season which is very gorgeous and well-done, but it then goes absolutely nowhere and nothing at all is done to make it textually romantic.
by which I mean: no episodes have dean or cas reacting personally to sam and eileen’s relationship, or any other romantic relationship they come across. we’re never shown anything even remotely romantic even in an unrequited sense (no post-realisation awkwardness, no lingering shots of cas pining from afar, etc etc). it reads like a normal season of the show, which, yeah, I think those two are pretty fucking gay regardless, but they’re always textually written as a friendship, with no explicit cues to clue the audience in that there are canon romantic feelings. and that doesn’t change here, at all.
so I guess what I’m saying is the confession scene is purely just a moment of fan service. as stunning as the speech itself is, and as well as it fits cas’s character, the writers throughout the season didn’t actually give a fuck to make destiel ROMANTIC even in a one-sided way. film is a language and as much as misha does in his acting, even from castiel’s perspective they’re still framed as a friendship within the show itself RIGHT up until he says the words I love you. they weren’t interested in actually depicting a (even one-sided) queer love story, just wanted to give fans their “okay here it is we did it guys!” moment at the end, so that way they didn’t have to actually show an explicitly romantic gay love story, they could just say some words, kill cas off and boom it’s canon! here you go people we’ve been leading on, mocking and low-key gaslighting for eleven years!
idk man it’s just so disappointing. I knew it was and I know everyone has been talking about it for years now but my GOD it’s so bad 😭 I can’t even tell you how bizzare it is to have seen destiel confession meme on here and in various fandom video essays EVERY DAY FOR FOUR PLUS YEARS and now here I am, watching it go down in real time with full context, having watched over 300 episodes of this show, invested, obsessed, and REALLY FUCKING UPSET AAAAHHH
EDIT: forgot to mention this originally. the actual concept of cas’s moment of perfect happiness killing him, while kind of stolen from buffy, is AMAZING. and the literal perfect opportunity to have a building textual confirmation of his feelings throughout the season, where he realises what that moment will be, and it ends in the tragic confession of his love. like that’s insane that’s perfect. but no it just comes out of nowhere so oh fucking well whatever I guess! they’re canon so we should all be happy! I hate this stupid bumhole show AUGH no one talk to me ever :(
#angry typed all of this instead of doing my actual film homework#but yeah man just what the fuck#in all fairness I have not yet watched 15x17 or 18 because I’m TERRIFIED#so maybe all of a sudden we get a bunch of cas pining shots and gay shit but from what I’ve heard I REALLY DON’T THINK SO 😭😭😭😭#uuuggghhh I hate them I hate them I hate them (I love them more than I love myself and I’m so fucking sad that this is their legacy)#destiel#destiel confession#superhell#destielgate#spn#supernatural#spn meta#dean winchester#castiel
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For context I have only started posting fic for like half a year, so it’s only now that I am getting really exposed to the wider variety of commenting. Before I mostly just posted my own and chatted with the author. But there are for sure some very strange commenters out there. Just got one, decently long, that has no mention of what I have been writing so far (it’s a long fic, already at 70k and I have never seen this commenter before). It just goes ‘oh, I can’t wait for this and that and then such to happen. That will be so fun. And then this character will have that happen and I wonder which of those incredibly specific choices will be better??’ (yup, with the two ??) And like for sure this is fishing for me to write what they are proposing, but it’s formulated so completely detached from my fic? Like not even saying that it may happen or speculating, but just stating yup, that is for sure what will be in here. And it’s not my setting up foreshadowing or such, this is completely left field and makes zero sense with my storyline up to now. So very strange. Am currently at a loss how to respond to it. I don’t get many comments so getting one that just gives me nothing but what feels like veiled demands is admittedly a bit annoying and stands out a lot. Feeling admittedly a tiny bit petty about them not saying anything about the story itself, very strongly contemplating just going ‘hahaha, that sounds like your very own spin off of my fic. Go write it yourself.’ Anyway, here is to commiserating about all the weird comments that are out there. And appreciating the ones that are nice.
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Cut Content From Chapter 3 of Therapy but It's just Zooble Interrogating Caine
Since I'm gearing up to post it, I've decided to drop some of my favorite lines that unfortunately didn't make it. Give it a read and question where the hell the context went.
“But, if you wanted to make one of us blind, you could. Don’t make me blind! This is just for example!” Pomni rushed out. That was the issue, right? She shouldn’t have said to do something to herself.
“Why would I do that? The Circus is a visual environment, it’s not designed to be accessible to the blind.” Caine asked back, slightly offended.
“But you are able to.”
He huffed. “Yes, I am able to. “
“I can interact with your senses directly, but as you have seen, it’s clunky and intrusive. I’m not supposed to interact with them like that, my access is just for calibration tests” he stated, clearly a little annoyed.
___________________________________
Pomni: “So the fact that I am currently thinking, is proof that my body is out there? Headset and everything still on it?”
Caine: “Hmmm, yep! I don’t know about the headset everyone keeps talking about, but most likely.”
Pomni: “So, then why can’t we remember anything?”
Caine: “Hmm? Are you having memory issues?”
Pomni: “I only can’t remember my real name?! Is that because of the Circus?”
Caine: “Hmm? No, of course not! I wouldn’t ask for your name in the introduction if it was expected that you wouldn’t remember it! I had to add that line about no one remembering anything after joining because everyone complained about the lack of warning.”
Caine: “I have no possible clue what could be causing that issue. But, I don’t know how your memory is stored, so I don’t know how your memory could have been dumped.”
Caine: “Again! I know I said it to you day one, I can control everything in the circus, but not your mind, as your mind is not in the circus”
“That’s not what you said on my first day” She pointed out. That implied something very different than what he said before.
“Eh, paraphrasing.” He dismissed.
___________________________________
Caine: “When you all are able to leave, I think I would like to see the outside. See beyond that exit everyone talks about”
Kinger: “You would?”
He’s been told so much about the world outside. And very vocally about all the differences between it and the circus. There are things that he’s been able to act on, like the design and placement of the stars, to things that would take too much power to implement permanently like better water physics for the lake. But, often whatever is described to him is things he does not even have a proper reference for. Like how it feels to write with pencil on paper.
But that’s too much information. Instead, he keeps it to something that he can visually perceive.
“Yes. I was told the sunrises are… different. More unique”
Kinger hummed. “It’s not too different from this… I think”
That was partially because Caine had been subtly improving the sunrise the second he realized that Kinger was going to watch it. He usually kept it pretty simple, as there was no point in rendering a dynamic set piece if no one was around to watch it. But if he noticed anyone was watching, he would quietly adjust it to be a bit nicer. More rays on the sun, greater range of color, re-enabled cloud movement so that the sky changed over time. Things like that.
And muting the Sun, of course.
“Maybe a- a webcam in an HDMI port, that'd do the trick.” Kinger mumbled. Caine glanced at him curiously, but he didn’t elaborate further.
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Caine: “EVERYTHING in the Circus can be broken down into ones and zeros. It is called the amazing DIGITAL Circus for a reason!”
Caine: “But, obviously, your little human heads don’t work in ones and zeros. So, it gets translated in a way that you can understand”
Caine:“That data gets packaged up, like this cube here, and gets sent to you. I can see and track that data, but once you have it, I can no longer see it”
Caine:“Every nanosecond I am sending data to you. And your sending data back, of course”
_______________________________
Pomni: “Could you prevent someone from joining?”
Caine looks uncomfortable. “I have considered that.”
HE HAS?!
Caine: “You already know how I can’t make an exit, but to remove an entrance? If I can prevent the connection from being established, then no more people would get stuck here!”
Caine: “Which wouldn't help any of you, of course. But prevention can be just as good as a solution!”
Caine:“But it didn’t work”
Pomni:“Someone still joined.”
Caine: “Worse, they spawned in at the center of the circus, coordinates [0:0:0]. Currently, that spot is in the void. Not a good way to start the day, haha.”
Caine: “After that, I stopped looking for ways to hamper the connection process. It is simply too risky.”
______________________________
Pomni:“Are you connected to the internet?”
Caine:“I don’t know what that is”
Pomni:“Like, Wifi? Ethernet?”
Caine: "Pomni, If I can be frank" Caine: "I'd have to change my name!" Caine: “But, you and everyone else are the only external connections to the circus. So, unless you are connected to ‘the internet’ and can forward information to me! Then no, I’m not”
_______________________________
Caine: Check it out! I'm essentially a walking debug stick! Pomni: A WHAT??!!
#my writing#tadc caine#the amazing digital circus#funny#ao3#fanfiction#tadc pomni#tadc#cut content#Therapy but it's just Zooble interrogating Caine#tadc kinger#I've got a full scene#not just some dialog to post as soon as the chapter drops#but take this for now
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I made a meta post about Ophelia like 3 years ago on a blog I have since deleted. Here's me trying to rewrite it without the twitterspeak.
I feel like a semi-popular take back when LB2 first came out on NA was that Ophelia was not actually in love with Kirschtaria, that she had mistaken admiration for love out of compulsive heterosexuality, and that she was actually in love with Mash.
I think the first two parts of that statement just straight up aren't true. It's a cool idea, but I just don't think you can dismiss her feelings for him as fake without dismissing her arc entirely? At that point, it's just a different character.
Ophelia isn't mistaking admiration for love; the entire first half of her arc is the reverse, with people constantly trying to get her to admit that she is in love as she insists that the only thing she feels for Kirschtaria is admiration. "Admiration" isn't consistent with the weird, singleminded devotion she has towards him. This is pointed out. She eventually admits she is bullshitting you.
Yes, it's true that she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings for him, but she makes no real attempt to act on her feelings about literally anything... which is, you know, the point of her character arc. She doesn't love Kirschtaria because a relationship between them will never happen; I think it's more accurate to say that the impossibility of those feelings are why she refuses to admit she loves him, and why it's so important to her development that she does.
So she expresses her feelings for Kirschtaria by doing her best to advance his goals. It's the only way she knows how. But her behavior towards Mash is actually kind of similar; she debuffs her own servant when he attacks her (knowing damn well that the whole Lostbelt is screwed if he "dies"). That's a bit much for "I want to be her friend." On her deathbed and throughout the Lostbelt, she herself admits that her feelings for Kirschtaria and her "desire to befriend" Mash are in direct conflict; she can't commit to fighting Mash, but she can't betray Kirschtaria, either. It's an either/or. She's being pulled in opposite directions.
Almost as if her feelings for Mash and her feelings for Kirschtaria are similar.
Ophelia doesn't even know Kirschtaria that well. They didn't talk much in Chaldea, no matter how much she wished to. They aren't particularly close. All she really knows is that he risked his life to revive the other Crypters, but that's just one moment she has zero context for. Why would she be in love with him?
Ophelia doesn't know a single thing about Mash except for the general circumstances of her creation, which she can see herself in. They didn't talk at all in Chaldea, no matter how much Ophelia wished to. The Mash she sees now, in front of her in the Lostbelt, is an entirely different person -- strong, beautiful, self-assured, nothing like Ophelia. An enemy that must be defeated at all costs. Why would Ophelia want to get closer to her?
And with Mash, you can read it how you wish -- platonic or romantic doesn't matter so much. The irrational part of Ophelia's feelings for Mash is that they exist in the first place, where the irrational part of her feelings for Kirschtaria is that they're specifically romantic. It makes sense for Ophelia to admire Kirschtaria's power, and it makes sense for her to admire him as a person. These are consistent with the stories she tells about herself. But it doesn't make sense that she's in love with Kirschtaria, and that's why it's important that she does. It doesn't make sense that she'd want to be friends (or more) with Mash; that's why it's important that she does. I'm sure the intention is "just friends", but the way it's positioned in the story -- in opposition to Ophelia's loyalty to Kirschtaria -- implies much more. So YMMV.
Ophelia is ashamed of herself for having feelings she can't explain, for being hopelessly devoted to a man she barely knows, for selfishly wanting to get closer to a sworn enemy. She hates herself for having these desires because she knows they'll never be realized. She's supposed to be competent! She's supposed to have her shit handled! She shouldn't be preoccupied with regrets and impossibilities. That's the central conflict of her emotional development; the "irrationality" is precisely what makes those emotions important.
Her feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are, ultimately, two sides of the same coin. Either/or. So I think that acknowledging Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria as valid actually strengthens the argument that she's in love with Mash.
She's torn between her feelings for two people. She doesn't have the strength of will to fully commit to fighting Mash, but she'll never betray Kirschtaria, either. She can't decide whether she loves or resents her parents. She can't decide whether she wants to interact with or shun others.
Ophelia's problem is that she lacks the confidence, maturity, and resolve to follow through on her own emotions. She can't be true to herself. But her emotions contradict themselves, and she herself doesn't know what being "true to herself" would actually look like. So the resolution isn't just to pick a side and stick to it...
Ophelia's coming-of-age story is about having the confidence to acknowledge her own feelings, the maturity to understand that they're still valid despite being irrational, and the resolve to know that she's no less of a person because of it. Yes, she and Kirschtaria wouldn't be a good match. Yes, the idea that she and Mash could have any sort of relationship considering the circumstances is bizarre. But those feelings exist, and there's nothing wrong with her for having them.
She thinks Mash and Kirschtaria are an either/or, but those desires can exist simultaneously. She's fine the way she is, contradictions and all. And it's only when she realizes that that she's able to get up and stop Surtr.
TLDR: Ophelia's feelings for Kirschtaria and her feelings for Mash are inextricably linked because they occupy the same role in Ophelia's character arc. I think she is probably bisexual. I wish she got more screentime. I reread her FLB chapter and now she's my favorite Crypter again.
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