#posts that make me go [redacted]
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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the implications of the show possibly making armand muslim are devastating. marius renames arun 'amadeo' meaning 'lover or beloved of god' which was ALREADY gross in the books since it places him as this godlike figure armand had to worship. and then later on, with the cult in rome and santino, he was forced into worshipping satan which caused a whole crisis for him even when book armand was christian. but if show armand is muslim everything gets a whole lot worse. in islam the biggest most unforgivable sin (if you don't repent) is shirk, or idol worship. by fashioning himself as armand's god, marius not only removed armand's cultural identity from him, he has tainted his faith which is arguably one of the only things armand could've held onto. marius essentially damns armand in one of the most irreversible ways possible by grooming him the way he did with religion as a weapon. and it gets even worse with the cult since armand is not only forced to commit shirk but to reject allah, one of the last ties he has to his cultural identity, completely. armand therefore becomes a metaphor and an example of what colonialism inflicts upon the colonised
#im not muslim so im approaching this purely from a post colonial lens and analysis#people who are more knowledgeable than me on islam and this topic as a whole feel free to jump in#inspired by [redacted] telling me about the different sins in islam last year lmao#deeply fascinating conversation and i just remembered it and thinking about it in terms of armand makes my brain go brrr#rambles#interview with the vampire#armand#the vampire armand#the vampire chronicles#personally im a show muslim armand truther until i have evidence otherwise
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1.15 || 4.03
Was it after you drank Karen's fake poison for me? Earlier.
#Nancy Drew#Ndcw#nancydrewedit#naceedit#Nace#Nancy x Ace#ace [redacted]#Nancy drew spoilers#V watches Nancy Drew#V posts things#I was wondering why they had Nancy bring up the poison incident bc it feels like that wasn't a realization moment for Ace but for Nancy#(that boy was realizing nothing he was already all in)#But I was rewatching 115 and it hit me that it foreshadows Ace in 403 perfectly#He trusts Nancy to the moon and back#When it was him on the line he downed that vial like a shot no hesitation#And he was ready to risk the curse when it was just his life#But no matter how much he trusts Nancy he just can't see her in danger#Hah remember back even earlier in S1 when she called out the poisoner to come after her and he just had to stand there and watch her do it#No wonder he got so relentless about making sure she had backup for the rest of that escapade#And then elects himself to watch out for her always because well she's not going to do it#(Hm that last thought is giving me Peter and Olivia vibes. I'll think on that)
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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✨PART 3✨ of things my husband does that are so violently Asher Coded, I had to compile a written list and turn them into headcanons:
~ quotes edition ~
part 1 • part 2
- “I would sell my body on the streets for a single shirley temple"
- “We need more rubber bands… we’re gonna have to get so much asparagus”
- “Sometimes you just have to bottom your way to the top”
- “So what was the point of knighting Paul McCartney and Elton John if they’re not even going to joust?”
- “Happy Mother’s Day to Milo Greer’s tits, and Milo Greer’s tits alone”
- “Baby, I’m your manic pixie nightmare”
- “Riddle me why the HELL all the groomsmen have such mad cake?”
- “That’s the name of my frat house: Kappa Cum Fuck”
- “I’d preserve you in resin and put you on my wall so I could study you every day. My little specimen <3”
- “So you mean to tell me that a ginger bred this man?”
- “Oh wow… Iceland is not where I expected”
- “I don’t fuck with micro-organisms”
- “And I’d throw it back for you if I didn’t just slip a disc last week”
- “Kiss that ghastly creature from the underworld like a real man smh my head. With tongue. Respectfully.” (about Brachium)
- “What day is $5 sushi Wednesday on again?”
#it’s that time again#you guys crack me up whenever I post these#and it makes me chuckle that people seem to enjoy these so much#it’s not like I’m ever going to run out of source material either#The things I put up with#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted asher#redacted headcanons#redactedverse#redacted quotes
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me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh
#i have so many things i need to do#before the semester starts again this fall#i need to work on comms. i need to work on a project due the end of the month. i want to do artfight. i want to make art for myself. i want#to do art studies. i want to start an alt drawing more suggestive stuff. i mean what who said that mustve been the wind#and thats just the things related to drawing.#i need to organize my room. i need to learn [redacted]. i want to cook more. i want to socialize more. i want to play games. i want to-#watch and read and listen to so many things#yet i have a finite amount of time to do everything#and half of a day is consumed by me just snoozing#and when i do work on something i feel like im Not Efficient Enough.#i cant just chill in vcs i need to be productive and draw too. and if i dont make significant progress then I Have Failed.#i cant just watch New Season of Show. thats Time Focused on One Singular Activity. gotta do multiple things at once or ill feel bad after#because i know that once the semester starts back up then im gonna be 90% less online#back to the depths of graphic design hell making infographics and powerpoints and brand identities#not having the time to draw anything furry or for myself for several months#anywho its 5am#i should go to sleep#sorry for the ramble im just. only now realizing how little time i have#when i wake up i have to really lock in on drawing and stuff#ive wasted so much time playing a game this past week#if i hadnt played it idve made so much more progress by now and im kicking myself so bad mentally now that im like mostly done w the game#gahhh#anywho yeah sorry for the ramble ill post more soon#sho.scramblin
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for the record, this is a ✨nagisa safe space✨
~~please dni if you dislike nagisa and/or nghy~~
#please block me if you don’t like nagisa btw~ given the chance i could go on about him for ages#don’t force yourself to look at things you don’t like yk~~~~? that’s why i have like 250 lhy/yhy shippers blocked on twt alone#anyway live laugh love nghy let’s watch them become happy together~~~~~~#we stan a failgirl gf and her failgirl bf#though. while we’re here… a little thing i liked about the chorus was how the lyrics drifted onto the screen#it kinda reminded me of seaweed for some reason. y’know. just wriggling its way into view…#even the animated lyrics were adorable. i seriously can’t get enough of this mv#as much as i want to make a post about the shsl cope going on in [redacted ship] twt i’d rather not think about too many negatives for now#i mean!!!!!!!! the long-awaited kimikawaii mv finally came out!!!!!!!!! i wanna bask in this happiness for a while longer…#i love nghy sm i just wish i could see this cute nghy when i look for it instead of the en.st*rs pair#dont get me wrong; those dudes are cute too in their own way. i just!!! have a one true nghy in my heart and it’s the adorable beach couple!#the dude from gamushara
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Okay but for real if just seeing the tags on a fic triggers you and leaves you in a state of distress so bad that it ruins your day and you end up thinking about it for several days, then you should seriously consider searching for a therapist and looking into trauma therapy. Ruminating (instead of using a healthy coping mechanism to calm down and manage your emotions) is incredibly unhealthy and maladaptive.
#mine#proship#profic#redacted audio#redacted asmr#yeah ill put it in the redacted tags even though this has been in the drafts since january#some people are going to make fics that squick you out or arent your thing thats normal we all have tastes#or even make fics that would trigger you if you read them#but if seeing the word ‘rape’ in the tags of a fic leaves you extremely distressed thats abnormal#dont even get me started on the maladaptive behavior thats been normalized in antiship spaces.#you just cant live a healthy life like this.#i have a therapist stamp of approval for this post by the way so nobody try it
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ok. extreeeeeemely tentatively. first chapter of 我朝你奔跑的距离 | the distance that i run to you (aka beiran ep15 coda fic) ...... arriving december 31st
#i am being egged on by my beta (mwah) and this gets me to my goal (post by the end of this year) on a technicality#while also being like. probably doable haha#i keep wondering why this fic took three damn months and then i remember [redacted] was like all of october and then it hasnt#even been two full months since that yet and also. the length of this damn fic#let me be free i need to go fill bcsdp prompts with freaky door sex for the spirealm !!!!#also i have so little time before the end of the year#and so much data analysis to do before the end of january (SIGH)#i think this will be a good balance to keep me writing without making me have to go too hard#hidey talks fic#beiran ep15 coda fic
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:re your tags, but why do you like s1 stephen better than s2.
Before I begin, I do wanna make it clear that I don't dislike s2 stephen. In fact I think he brings an extremely villainous fire that will add a lot of angst and tragedy to his relationship with Thomas. Like, Alex Jennings is a great actor. He has thomas shaking in his boots lol.
I just loved the chemistry between the two Marks (Gattis and Rylance) in season one. The relationship they began in S1 was extremely unique to me - they weren't quite friends but they weren't enemies. And their casual banter made me feel like I was reading the book, even with the little interaction they got.
When you have two characters who are pivitol in each others lives, I really love how actors can take that relationship and make it something that draws me in. And since that was something started in season 1, with their unique chemistry, i would've loved to see the destruction of that relationship, and the fallout with the same actors? Because at least to me, there was more of an emotional tie to it.
I hate to use this analogy like I do, but if i were watching s2 of HOTD, i'd want to see olivia cooke's alicent and emma's rhaenyra pick up from where they left off in s1 - that's just me!
When two actors are able to start something, and make a very unique relationship, i love seeing that relationship carried on by the two who began it, whether it falls apart or not.
That's just MY opinion, and i also don't think this stephen/jennings is a bad stephen - at all. In fact, like i said in the tags, he really *does* bring Stephen's vicious personality to the table in a way we didn't see in S1. He is actually scary and he puts Thomas on edge; we've been building up for him since the beginning of the season, and we see how he terrifies Thomas. The way Jennings is able to portray an extremely intimidating, terrifying Thomas, that is so divorced from the Stephen that Thomas knew is excellent. He doesn't give Thomas a chance to breathe, he doesn't give Thomas a chance to regain himself. He is completely undoing him and he is not shy about it- and he portrays that very very well. There is no doubt that Stephen is Thomas villain and that he is going to be his end.
But i do like the chemistry with s1 stephen and thomas a lot more. and i would've loved to see those two have a conclusion.
ofc this is just my opinion!
#as i said#it ended and began with them#from wolsey - to henry to now#they are each others end and beginning#let me stop before i go on a ship rant#okay...is this my last wolf hall post of the night#thomas cromwell#wolf hall#stephen gardiner#also thank u guys for actually paying attention to my *redacted* rant tags#it makes me feel special
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haven’t been posting because my back too busy getting blown out by gavin
#in all seriousness#i’m not doing the best mentally#so i don’t go on tumblr as much anymore BUT ill try to be on more often#also#uhg#i’ve been getting into sherlock holmes recently. so i guess that’s another thing making me not post since i have two main fixations now#which sucks#but anyways um idk#hi chat#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted gavin#// nickola rants
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that thing where thanks to Cultural Imperialism you know far too much about US politics but if you ask "what the fuck is that thing about" you are told not to have an opinion on the stuff that floods your news and social media constantly even if you try very hard not to have any thoughts on it (but also you are to have the Correct Thoughts on it or you're evil, because not caring about US politics is unthinkable. yet also not allowed. but don't you dare not know every american politician's position on Issue Of The Day In Americaland!)
#maybe i should just not post this#but also this makes me so very tired sometimes#MAYBE I WILL MANAGE TO NOT HAVE OPINIONS ON IT WHEN YOU ALL STOP ASSUMING I LIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY AND “NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS”!#you know those posts that start with a line or two about which country/region it applies? americans could try doing that occasionally too.#i think you'll find it's mandated by article 3 paragraph 9 amendment 50 of your constitution that we are all expected to know by heart.#LOL J/K america hasn't amended their two century old constitution anything like that many times! because GOD wrote it!#anyway my question was about [redacted] but i'll just make up an answer in my own head and go with that as The Facts.
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genuinely cant wait for art school to be over for the year so i can focus on my art
#making this a tumblr post bc the ridiculousness of the situation is not lost on me#the amount of paperwork in fashion is evil and very clearly not necessary outside of industry#at least i have [redacted] and [super redacted] to work on so i dont go insane
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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so, overall i think kaos is a pretty solid idea. i just think it sorta failed to stick the landing by opting to veer away from the less acceptable within the mainstream kinds of weird strange disturbing shit (zeus turning into an animal to bang people. the mpreg of it all. the increasingly more batshit things hera did to the women zeus assaulted bc i’m gonna be so serious her just turning them all into bees is objectively less funny than the actual myths) and replaced it with things that honestly feel more like if you combined real housewives esque drama with the inner mechanisms of an edgy 12 year old and their edgy original characters do not steal (trademark).
i was fond of the dionysus depiction. the furies were dykes on bikes so literally nothing they did could be wrong to me (i also just think that the depiction of them was neat). i sort of liked the hades/persephone depiction but i don’t like that they just entirely erased the narrative behind them because if you’re going to dark comedy greek mythology then you’re a coward for not making the hades/pers dynamic more of a. fucked up ‘well i’m stuck with this so fine whatever ig’ dynamic than. whatever that was. i saw the ariadne twist from a mile off though that didn’t make it BAD i actually thought it was funny (don’t like that they called the minotaur glaucus though because glaucus is an entirely different brother of ariadne). honestly think if they were real they would not have had hera cheat with poseidon and instead had zeus cheat with poseidon.
i’m mad about the caeneus power nerf and i. don’t know that i’m all that fond of the fact that the amazons are depicted as terfs but that could be a personal bias because i’m quite fond of the amazon warriors. i also think it was a bit cowardly (though admittedly probably due to concerns of cgi costs) that they simply didn’t have have mythological creatures really show up, at all. weak. i want harpies. and i want them now. i will say i was absolutely delighted by the cerberus dogs and any complaints i would have taken were overruled by the dogs.
i will say that i’m aware it wasn’t STRIVING to be accurate so much as to be weird au fanfic, which is technically fine, i just think it would have been improved on if it had included the more fucked up aspects (big asterisk i can get why they’d skip over the never ending sexual assault if only bc it would be really poor taste to try make jokes about THAT) because a lot of it felt like pretty standard faire shock value immorality.
#kaos netflix#kaos#this is the only post i’m going to make about this show i swear#i might respond to other peoples takes idk#the fact that [REDACTED] died immediately dropped its rating to me#bc i felt like that was. just for shock value#i get the symbolism of it or whatever ig#i just don’t think the symbolism was strong enough to justify it
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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