#posts that are funnier with timestamps

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to make you forget that your teacher sets weird deadlines so you think your homework is due at midnight but really it’s due at 10:30 and you don’t realize until 10:27

[djservo]

redownloaded wicked whims after x amount of years

[nyuoqi]

currently staring at that one anton timestamp i wrote

[gloomyearthling]

the absolute DAGGERS your companions give you if they catch you feasting on their blood 😂

⚠️WARNING: post contains spoilers for Astarion⚠️

To provide a little context, I got requested by @demonicpiano to see the various reactions of the companions catching Astarion drinking their blood.

Rightfully so, all of them are pissed, and their facial expressions showcase that rage. I had the share them because, holy hell, Larian did a fantastic job with their facial expressions.

Wyll

Lae’zel

Shadowheart

Gale

Karlach

I… got some bad news. You can’t actually drink her blood. Astarion refuses to (makes sense; he’d combust into flames). But I did take some screenshots of the dialogue.

I should also warn you that my game glitched, so although it was Karlach, all you see is Gale. Which I find funnier, tbh. Anyway, here’s the screenshots.

First one.

Second one.

If you wanna see their full reactions, I made an entire video that’s coming out (or might’ve already come out, depending on when you see this post) on April 26th, 12 p.m. EST! It’s a really long video (like, 17 minutes). So, understandable if you aren’t interested.

Regardless, there’ll be timestamps for each of the companions to make it easier for you to skip to the one you wanna see. And yes, the entire point of this post may have been shameless promoting, but also the companions faces are fucking hilarious.

[aq2003]

Perchance you've recently seen David Tennat's Hamlet?

ok this is going to be the most convoluted answer. No i have not technically "recently watched dt's hamlet" but i have done something funnier which is "recently skimmed dt's hamlet and timestamp where the acts/scenes start and end and how the adaptation moved stuff around and cut things out, and also started a google doc annotating the text". the REASON i did this is bc i studied m butterfly in my asian lit class and that woke up my hamlet braincell too because. ok. the staging in m butterfly was something that brought attention to the themes of performance and reflection and it got a movie adaptation that GUTTED all of this it leaned into the realism instead and it sucked i could write an essay about this (i did actually do this for class) but i should probably reserve that for another post. but do you know what DOESNT lean into the realism and almost has this surreal empty dreamlike quality to the sets and is all about performance and reflections THATS RIGHT it's dt's hamlet so i've been going back and picking it apart like i'm in 12th grade english class. Also bc it's on the list of stuff me and my qpp want to watch together and i want to have a compilation of notes and annotations and stuff to bring up while we watch it

[incalamity]

nothing funnier than seeing the date of when chapters on ao3 are posted. reading a chapter with the author’s note saying the next one will be up in the following week but ao3 timestamp says it was actually posted 4 years later. absolutely beautiful

[jackhasfallenx2]

FORGOT TO POST THE VIDEO OF JACK DOING THE FIRE THING.

BZZT- I HAVE REMBERED.

{Timestamp 1719591969; Jun 28 2024 12:26:09 GMuT +0000}

[Video ID:

[its taken from the front facing camera of Jack’s rotomphone. The phone is lying on jack’s desk propped up against the wall the desk is up against. Some puzzle game video or something is heard in the background, probably why its propped up. Also. Theres a paper plate with 4 hotdogs on it between the seat where jack is and the phone.]

[Jack eats one of the hotdogs in like. ~15 seconds. Taking. Far too big bites. But thats… not besides the point actually. As a few moment later…]

*hic*

[…they hiccup. Which. Also coincides with them accidentally ember-ing their food.]

“Wh-*hic*-t.” [that causes another fire breath, as do further hiccups]

“OKAY IM SAVING THAT LOL.”

“YOU WERE *hic* RECORDING??? WHY???”

“I *WAS* GONNA RICKROLL YOU BUT THIS IS FUNNIER.”

[Jack doesnt respond. Other than a (probably not responding to nil) hiccup. But goes >=( ]

[By the end of the exchange all the hotdog buns are completely toasted and the hitdogs are a bit discolored from the heat]

End ID.]

[azumasoroshi]

continuing from the last post, we're back to izaya with the bag over his head and earthworm

and it's really interesting because he's animated in a way that makes you really, REALLY doubt that it's izaya

ok it's hard to show in photo form but like. the way he tilts his head back and forth with earthworm moving the scissors makes him look wary and nervous? and you cant see his face but his body language is so far from relaxed that you're like oh they must have captured nakura or some other person. no way izaya's actually in there

and after she asks about his sisters (you still cant see well in photo form but i gave you the timestamp and the episode number so :3) he shakes his head back and forth quickly with some kind of wobbly sound effect and it's so unlike izaya!!!! izaya wouldn't react to any of this right??

and then we cut to here!! and it's like oh yeah that definitely isn't him. he's literally outside with mairu right now

side note but awww they're so cute. im sure they're 100% normal mentally sound siblings who definitely didn't decide their personalities via a fucking coin flip ahahaha

orihara family is so fucking weird. sometimes i wonder if izaya is good at dodging shizuo's attacks because he's used to his siblings attacking him all the time (which is really cute actually) or if his siblings saw him getting chased around by shizuo all the time and thought 'hey that looks fun' and decided to attack him too (decidedly less cute but a lot funnier)

im assuming it's the first one though since the twins have been doing martial arts probably before izaya was in high school?? probably

it's funny how he's actually caught off guard here. like his ultra instinct carries him but he only turns after mairu makes a noise

like he's the king of environmental awareness as opposed to shizuo who kinda blocks everything out so this is hmMMMMm

mayhaps he lets his guard down around his siblings :eyes: ohoho do i sense a weakness orihara-san??

there was this line in the izaya youtuber au where namie is like damn i'm this proud at catching izaya off-guard for like a second?? my life is fucking sad. that's how i feel right now

smug bitch

flexible characters get me going bro like vash the stampede. izaya. why do i keep grouping them together in my head like they're both human lovers (albeit for very different reasons) and they're both flexible and they're both voiced by johnny yong bosch. what's the deal here what is fate trying to tell me about my taste in fictional men

i will never get tired of his acrobatics ugh

bro has a fuckin rectangular prism for an ass what is going ON there

um. gayass

what was i talking about again OH YEAH the earthworm thing. well not like i can talk about that any more until we cut back there

im not taking screenshots of the entire "fight scene" (it's just izaya dodging and being a little shit like "oh woe is me why would you attack an innocent civilian in public??" (he's the one holding the knife, mikage's brother points out)

and we're back! still not sure how exactly that works considering the transition between phones - was earthworm showing him the footage or something?? or playing the audio, because she asks about mikage right after

in any case izaya continues to keep his head low, visibly reacting to what she's saying/pouring the water but never saying anything

we switch away again to him talking to celty and we're at a really weird place where half of it feels like izaya's going to be under there and earthworm is actually getting to him this time, and we'll see through the flashbacks a series of fuck ups or how he planned to be here and be unphased but he's a little bit shaken by the torture methods

and the other half of it feels like oh, through the flashbacks we'll find out how exactly izaya caught on to them trying to capture him and made a stunt double

the one post that's like "i dont see him complaining" continues to crack me up

we cut back to earthworm again but im running out room of this post lmAOOO

it's incredible how hard it is for me to stop talking like this is actually insane. see you guys in the continuation post i guess

[digidragon7]

Anyone else find the concept of timezones and how they shape our perception of social media posts interesting? I live in GMT but me posting something at midnight would be around midday for someone in australia, or anywhere from 2pm to 7pm for an american, or the very early hours of the morning for people across europe towards east asia, and that's wild. A screenshot of a post with what might look like an unreasonable time means that the person who screenshot the post is up at a ridiculous hour, not the poster

Why is the function of having the timezone someone posted from attached to a second timestamp not a thing? I wanna know if you actually made that post at a reasonable hour, or whether you can't sleep, cause that provides more context to the post and is funnier to me

[bring-us-back-light]

everyone should turn on timestamps. they can easily be ignored, but can also make posts So much funnier

[wizardmilfs]

having timestamps visible on tumblr makes this website so much funnier. i saw someone tag a post with “posts i think about a lot” when the post was made yesterday. that post was just born

[patchesbff]

while we're on the topic of new tumblrinas may I offer this wonderful advice of account settings>dashboard preferences>show timestamps to see directly by people's usernames when a post was made. some posts hit harder and are infinitely funnier when you can see exactly when it was made

[nikadd]

it’s probably got lost in the notes of that post, but the homophobic slur dean says in the german dub is actually in tall tales about the whole alien abduction thing

[silvermistcosmos]

ENHYPEN MASTERLIST !!

▬▬ NOTE O1 - I do not write smut or suggestive content. My blog is sfw and safe for readers of any age. However, if there are any warnings, they will be given at the notes in the beginning of my post. please be mindful of them in case I write on a possibly touchy subject. 

▬▬ NOTE O2 - requests are closed. when they are open, just send me an ask, but please be patient with me as I slowly get to them. please refer to my request guidelines to know how to request from me. 

▬▬ Oneshots & drabbles !!

# Heeseung

“your jokes are funnier because I love you” 

# Jay

# Jake

# Sunghoon

when you have a nightmare 

# Sunoo

# Jungwon

Phone Call Confession

# Niki

▬▬ Series 

# Heeseung

# Jay 

# Jake

# Sunghoon

# Sunoo 

# Jungwon

# Niki

# OT7

▬▬ Timestamps 

# Heeseung

# Jay

# Jake

[2:43 am] 

# Sunghoon

# Sunoo

# Jungwon

# Niki

▬▬ OT7 Headcanons

their s/o borrows another member’s jacket 

their s/o calls them bro/dude

they catch their s/o reading fanfiction about them

their s/o pulls another member’s photocard

their s/o has small hands 

▬▬ OT7 Reactions

their reaction to kissing their s/o for the first time

their reaction to their s/o not saying ‘i love you’ back || hyung line || maknae line 

their reaction to their s/o flinching during an argument [hyung line] 

their reaction to their s/o being insecure about their acne

enhypen’s reaction to seeing their s/o cry for the first time [hyung line]

their reaction to you sleeping on another member

their reaction to someone flirting with their s/o but their s/o is innocent/oblivious [maknae line]

their reaction to their s/o jumping on them to wake them up

their reaction to their s/o calling them while their parents are arguing 

▬▬ Enhypen Misc 

how enhypen would cuddle their s/o 

enhypen as parents [maknae line]

▬▬ Enhypen Ship Game 

# Heeseung x lea || Lean on Me 

# Sunoo x nina || “are you done yet?” 

# Sunoo x siri || Date Night 

# Jake x Hikari || At this hour?

[basilly]

fake dating quackity headcannons || irl!quackity x reader

. request:  how about completing fake dating series and hcs for fake dating quackity but with little rivals to lovers? really loved the ones you did for karl &wilbur!!

. tysm to this anon- let’s hope its as good as the other two 

. enemies to lovers type beat >:)

. the timestamps and dates on the photos are wrong and irrelevant :D photos are a ref!

. pronouns: they/them

. karl’s! & wilbur’s!

. your little rivalry with Quackity had started quite long ago, as you were both streamers for a while and had similar followings

“Chat says- you should play with y/n? Who tf is that?,,,(he google searches your user) oh- nah chat we don’t need nobody here.”

. that had gotten clipped so fast by your fans and soon there was a small rift between fans and fanbases

. after that, the two of you would often go back and forth on twitter

. once the two of you had gotten in the same among us lobby for a stream, each making it each other’s goal to kill the other as fast as possible

“Ok guys- once quackity turns this corner I will kill him.” *your character slides his head off* “Y/N WTF YOU”RE ACTUALLY DOGWATER”

. however, there were a large amount of fans who thought the two of you oozed sexual tension and shipped you guys

. and you would never admit it, but you thought quackity was really cute, which did not help whenever someone mentioned the ship

chat: “y/n, what do you think about the ship with you and quackity?”

. kinda caught you off-guard, and you pretended to not see it, hoping that no one caught it (rlly failed)

chat: “OMG CLIP THAT! why did they ignore the question? are they dating quackity??”

. soon enough, you and quackity were trending under your ship name, which caused quackity to dm you on twitter

. although you were very grateful for your fans, you had a ton of creepy ones that would make awful sexual comments, so this situation may solve it

. you quickly answer with your idea

. quickly typing out your entire spiel, quackity actually felt bad, and agreed- on one condition

“Okay, I’ll go along with your fake dating and your rules if you admit on stream I’m better and funnier than you”

. you were kinda like -_- but nonetheless you agreed

. the first step the two of you had prepared was to post photos on twitter, in order to first let your fans become less hostile and at least tRy to believe it before going on stream

. you couldn’t go into total ‘honeymoon phase’ or it would’ve arose too much suspicion

. to say you got your fans confused was quite the obvious statement

. however, it wasn’t until your conjoined stream that you had people convinced

“Chat chat chat, today we have a special guest- my s/o, and you may know them from that one clip that went viral way back” “Hi guys!”

. to make it more convincing, you leaned towards quackity, hoping he didn’t try to move away, otherwise chat may not be convinced

. what you didn’t see, as you were focused on the screen, was quackity turning a bit red and flustered

chat: “Wait they look really good together” “I wasn’t convinced before but now i am” “YESS THEYRE SO CUTE”

. thankful that chat was buying it, you relaxed a bit and tried to treat quackity as you would a regular boyfriend

. throughout the stream, chat continued to buy your guys’ front and you noticed less of the creepy fans were making comments

. unknowingly to you, quackity had gotten very nervous and was very fidgety, feeling weird about his reactions right now

. all he wanted to do was hug you and be close to you- weird because he was your enemy

. restricting himself, he focused on the game- or at least tried to

“Come on quackity- scared to lose to your s/o?” “NO! I’LL BEAT YOU RIGHT NOW! WATCH!”

. at one point you had even rested your head on his shoulder, which- you did had to prep yourself a lot and gather the courage

. quackity on the other hand was incredibly flustered but responded with trying to wrap his arm around your shoulder/waist

. chat just went nuts, clipping it, screenshotting, all while the two of you were slightly embarrassed

. the both you were just thinking this is kinda nice

. after stream, the two of you were slightly avoiding one another, scared of your feelings, as they betrayed your usual they’re my enemy relationship

. quackity had even called Karl for advice

“Karl- I’m supposed to hate them but-” “Dude, you like them” “NO- I mean I can’t be they’re just- they’re my enemy, since day one” “So? I mean, anyone could see how much chemistry the two of you have.”

. in your next conjoined stream, it was yet another competition game

“QUACKITY ARE YOU DUMB?” “HEY WAIT NO” “Why are you so close to me? Are you going to kiss me?” (are we about to kiss rn ;))

. at this point, quackity’s feelings had shot through the roof- he moved forward and pressed a fast but soft kiss on your lips, effectively making u combust and the chat to go insane, as well as shocking himself

. you quickly dug your head into his neck to hide and he tried to cover his face

. inside, you were elated and shocked but you couldn’t do much until the stream was over

. quackity had made you so incredibly happy these past few weeks, and even throughout your rivalry, it was exciting and gave you adrenaline

. the kiss was the cherry on top

“The kiss quackity?” “I- uh, maybe i really don’t hate you?” “I don’t hate you either.”

. the two of you were trending once more, but this time you couldn’t be upset at it at all

an: this one took a while but its like 800+ words :D i really liked this one I think tumblr is being a bit wack cuz my notes consistency has been rlly off :/

requests are open!

[bookpdf]

nothing is funnier than the genre of posts that are like "haha i love being on tumblr the dying website that no one is on" with a timestamp of 2 days ago and 100k notes. like babe this ain't an abandoned haunted house of a site - or at least, you're not the only ghost!