#posts made by Mishka

[the-loveheart-galaxy]

do you ever just completely forget what happened the day before

[tommyssupercoolblog]

coward. miscecanis tumblr users on our way to eat him alive i don't care that he's dead and a fictional character the cyclone didn't malfunction for ur gay ass to fear the omegaverse

[lykegenia]

So something has been bugging me for a while now about A and N’s backstories, and while I know not everyone will be as pedantic as me, as someone who loves history and has done a lot of writing, I feel that if you’re going to write a story about vampires and give them a specific time and date of origin, then there should be a certain level of research that goes into making that background authentic. I'm not saying that Mishka didn’t do any research. It just seems that in order to keep the vibe of a happy, mellow fantasy some of the less savoury aspects of A and N’s upbringings have been left out, and it's a shame. To be honest, it feels a bit disingenuous, and it feels like an opportunity got wasted.

Let me explain (long post got long, it's 2am)

Let's take A first, since the problem is simpler here.

A is the child of a Norman lord and an Anglo-Saxon noblewoman, born in the first generation after the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. A says that these were turbulent times but that their parents had a happy marriage. Which. While I’m sure a lot of unions in that time period made the best of it, I can’t help but feel this description strips away a lot of the context of what was going on at that point in history - and removes some of the complexity about A’s thoughts on love and relationships.

Basically, after he took control of the throne, William the Conqueror stripped many Anglo-Saxon lords of their lands and titles so he could give them to his Norman buddies instead - with the added bonus that it left the Anglo-Saxons without the means to raise armies against him. The sisters, daughters, and widows of the dispossessed Anglo-Saxons were then forced to marry these new Norman lords to legitimise their power, not infrequently after all of their male relatives had been slaughtered. It’s not as if Anglo-Saxon women weren’t used to being used as political chess pieces, but the years after the conquest were brutal. It’s why William had to build so many castles. The point that I’m trying to make is that even if A’s mother was content enough in her daily life, due to the power imbalance between her and her husband, it's very likely she had little choice in the matter. She may have seen a lot of her family killed for political reasons, with the knowledge that – in an age where women had very little protection outside of their paternal household – she might be next if she made too much of a fuss.

It would be fascinating to see what effect that tension has had on A 900 years later, or even to get an acknowledgement of how much times have changed, but we don’t. We don't see how their early years affected them, how they view relationships formed naturally instead of via political contracts. And I really, really wish we did. There is so much potential there.

But A is not the one keeping me up past 2 in the morning. It’s N, and the utter detachment their backstory seems to have from the period in history they lived in as a human. And it all stems from the fact that they came from the English nobility in the late 1600s.

See, the bulk of the problem is that English inheritance law at the time heavily favoured primogeniture, where a man’s wealth would go to his first-born son. Some dispensation was made for widows and other children, but the estates, assets, and most of the money had a very clear destination.

For one thing, this makes it kinda weird that N’s stepfather would have needed an heir before he could inherit, because except in extreme circumstances everything would have gone to him anyway. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the worst part of the problem, it’s just annoying when there are more plausible reasons for him marrying a woman already pregnant with another man’s child (old family friend wanting to save her from disgrace, needed the dowry to pay off gambling debts, there was a longstanding betrothal between them that would have been tricky to get out of, etc.).

No, the bigger problem with N’s backstory vs primogeniture is firstly that at the time the English aristocracy was racist af (still is tbh) and given his pretty obvious mixed-race heritage, no court would have agreed that Nate was a legitimate son (this is for a very special reason that we will be coming back to). I say Nate specifically here because primogeniture requires the eldest legitimate son. Nat wouldn’t have inherited at all, as women in that period passed from the guardianship of their father (or other male blood relative) into that of their husband after marriage, and only gained any kind of independence with widowhood. If N had been an only child, maybe they would have been treated as a special case, but unfortunately Milton exists: the eldest legitimate son who by law will inherit everything.

Now here’s the thing. Your average aristocrat in the 17th century is very obsessed with lineage and keeping the family line unbroken. He would not, therefore, send his legitimate heir to sea to be shot at or drowned before he can carry on the family name – that joy instead goes to any other sons who need their own profession, because again, they will get very little. Nat would have had a dowry, but would never have been expected to make her own living, so I'm going to focuson Nate for this next bit.

In Book 3, if you unlock his tragic backstory Nate tells you he joined the Royal Navy after Milton went missing so that he could go look for him. And, well. This is where his backstory as Mishka tells it completely falls apart. For two reasons:

1. Even in the modern day, you can’t ‘just’ join the Navy, and you certainly can’t just jump straight to being a lieutenant – it takes years of training and after a certain age they won’t take you because they won’t be able to mould you easily enough into a useful tool. For most of the Navy's history, the process was even more involved. It wasn’t an office job you could just rock up to and then quit if you felt like it, it was a lifetime commitment. Boys destined to be officers would be sent to sea as early as 12 to learn shipboard life, starting at the bottom and moving up the ranks. These were gained by passing exams and by purchasing a commission – which is why you generally had to come from wealth to be an officer at all. Once you get to lieutenant you're responsible for a lot of people, and might be tasked with commanding any captured ships alongside the daily running of yours - it was not an easy job.

2. Even as a lieutenant (one rank below Captain, with varying levels of seniority) it’s not like you can just go where you want. In the 1720s British colonies already existed in India, the Caribbean, and up the entire eastern seaboard of North America and into Canada, and the Navy was tasked with protecting merchant shipping along these seaways (and one trade in particular that we’ll be getting to, don’t worry). Nate could have ended up practically anywhere in the burgeoning empire. He would not have been able to choose whom he served under, and would not have been able to demand his superior officer go against orders from the admirality to chase down one lone vessel because he thinks another one of the admirals might be a bit dodgy. It could not have happened.

Besides these impracticalities, there’s a far easier way for the child of a wealthy man to get to a specific point on the far side of the globe to look for their lost sibling, which is the route I assume Nat took sine she couldn’t have joined the Navy (yes she could have snuck in but she’s specifically in a dress in the B2 mirror scene so). All they'd have to do would be to charter a ship and tell the captain where to go, which is the plot of Treasure Island. It's quicker, less fuss, with less chance of things going wrong. It's even possible in the age of mercantilism that the Sewells had some merchant vessels among their holdings that could be diverted for the task. Why go through the hassle of joining the Navy and potentially ending up on the wrong side of the world when you can just hire a ship directly?

If Nate does have to be in the Navy (and let’s face it, it’s worth it just for the uniform) then it's far more plausible is that, as the illegitimate son who would not inherit because of racism etc, he got sent to the Navy as a boy and rose through the ranks to become a lieutenant. When he got news of Milton’s disappearance not far from where he was stationed, he begged his captain to go investigate in case whatever happened turned out to be the symptom of a bigger problem. Like pirates.

I like this version better not just because it makes more sense, or because it keeps Nate’s situation re: inheritance closer to Nat’s and therefore makes their stories more equal, but also because it adds a delicious amount of guilt to Nate’s need to find his brother. We know his entire crew died looking for answers, because he was selfish – that’s roughly 100-400 lives lost because of him, and we know that sort of thing eats at him.

So that's one side of the story, but if Milton wasn’t in the Navy, what was he doing on the other side of the Atlantic in the first place? Well, this is where we come to the biggest elephant in the room regarding N’s backstory as a member of the 17th century English aristocracy and potentially as a naval officer: the Atlantic Slave Trade. If you are wealthy in 17th century Britain it's more than likely that your wealth comes either from the trade itself, or from the products made with the labour of enslaved people. If you are wealthy, you want to protect your assets from attack by pirates or foreign powers so you don't become less wealthy, and that is what the Navy is for.

Regardless of N’s own views on slavery at the time – and any subsequent changes in opinion – it’s likely their family owned or had shares in slave plantations in the Americas. As distasteful as it is, it makes far more sense that Milton was on a trip to check the family’s holdings when his ship - specifically a merchant vessel - went missing. From a pirate perspective, a merchant ship would make a much better target than a Navy vessel, being slower, more likely to have valuable cargo, and less likely to have marines or a well-trained broadside.

It's not surprising that Mishka left out the subject of the slave trade given her tendency to skirt around darker subjects and general blindspot for racial politics, but it is nuance that, if it was there, would create a more grounded and coherent backstory for N that doesn’t have quite so many holes. Like with A being the child of an invader and his war bride, we could get some deeper thoughts from N about their place in the world - How do they feel to have grown up so privileged when others who looked like them were regarded as literal property? How did they feel being part of the system that made it happen? Did it inform their compassionate nature? Is it still a source of guilt or someithng they've tried to make up for?

I'm not sure where I was going with all of this. It's late, my sleep pattern is fucked. The tl;dr is that giving the vampires' backstories historical context would make them feel more multifaceted and would give opportunities for character growth that are instead missed because of a desire for a more sanitized version of the past.

[crow-caller]

So I just finished "Valhalla" by Ari Bach, a book that's been on my to-be-read pile for a long time, at your recommendation in an older video you posted! And wow, yes, please give me a Tikari!!! My spouse and I have already come up with bugs, weapons, and possibly names for our hypothetical little guys, hah! My favourite quotes from the book, in chronological order, were:

"The North Pole isn't too far by pogo, but all they have is a McDonald's."

"Don't sweat it, Vi. What you drop, your team picks up."

Vibs was online, reading. Varg had fallen asleep within minutes of lift-off, and Veikko amused himself by stacking survival gear on Varg's head.

Two men had just died because she'd gone the wrong way, because she couldn't trust her Tikari to do its job. She sensed that the Tikari was pissed at her for it. She shut it up by stowing it in her chest, still bloody from the fight. It was a sickening, dirty feeling to have his blood under her skin.

"That urge for activity is a remnant of panic, nothing more."

And:

6. "Wars have always been fought by children."

I'm (personally) a little squeemish about body/medical stuff (I genuinely had to skip pages during the Wulfgar/Violet scene which was a good scene, but wow that made my stomach turn. I was really adverse to the whole Tikari thing in general until we got to see Violet's point of view on watching hers wake up, and from that moment, I was convinced I wanted one.

I thought the Mishka twist was interesting and surprising, but believable. I liked that Mishka's and Vibeke's relationship was, from 'our' point of view, loose and undefined, but then you got to see from Mishka's point of view how serious she was about Vibeke. And I liked that the references to sex were more...vague. Clinical? Especially in certain parts (thinking about one of the times Violet went to see Wulfgar in the cage).

Also, reflecting on the Mishka twist, I actually really liked that it was Mishka who escaped to (presumably) come back in the next book rather than who brother who we just met and know nothing about. Two possible return villians, who we already kinda-sorta know and kinda-sorta have a connection to? Yes!!

All in all, I really liked this book! I thought the single chapter devoted to Violet's military career was really good, and I do feel bad that she was kicked out like that! I (personally) thought her reasoning for fighting back against her...squadmates (correct word??) was perfectly sound! And I especially liked that we got to see Heather/Weather again, because I liked her for the breif chapter when she appeared!

I don't know if I'll read the other two books, because I'm kind of okay with how this ended, and the synopsis for the next was rather...different. Have you read the other two? Were they very different?

The only other question I would be, how the heck do/did you pronounce Vibeke's name!? Hah, my first thought was "vee-bee-kee," and my spouse suggested "vih-BECK," which I what I ended up going with in my head.

Thank you again for recommending this! Next up is Philip Reeve's "Railhead" which I'm also excited for!

Hell yeah!! I'm so glad you liked them, they're a blast!

I hope you don't mind me answering this publicly, because I want to loop in @facts-i-just-made-up aka @sharkchunks who wrote the books! :D

[dropoutfailure]

Would absolutely love to hear more about mishka and gus? Like anything really. Maybe you could explain the timeline of how their story happens (i love that kind of thing) or just tell me something you find interesting about them or just ramble whats on your mind?

I'm excited to answer, but are YOU excited for the wall of text you're about to see?? I probably overthought and revised this answer for way too long. these OCs have wayyyy too much lore and backstory which I might draw at some point. eventually.

backstory in short:

Mishka is a 22yo depressed lonely college dropout NEET trans guy. he's in love with his dad, bc he can't connect to new people easily, and his dad's the only one who has just always been there for him, unconditionally.

his 45yo dad Gustav is a woodworking teacher. a single father who's doing his best. caring, and maybe even lenient with his precious son. he does not reciprocate though. at first.

backstory in long:

so basically Mishka was doomed from the start. his mom was not good at being a mother (violent) and gave him childhood trauma. she left eventually, and dad became a single father when Mishka was 7-9. he comes out as a trans boy in his teens, 14-15. his dad is accepting but his school is not. he makes no permanent connections in 12 years of being in school. just internet friends.

Mishka drops out of college at 22 because of many problems piling up there (adhd, loneliness, misunderstandings, transphobia) and overwhelming him for months. he breaks down in the middle of his last year of undergraduate (he probably could've weathered the storm and finished...), gives up, drops out, goes home and holes up in his room, in his dad's apartment...

Mishka developed a crush on his dad while halfway through college, at around 21 yeard old, but thought he'd get over it and not feel that way anymore when he got back home. lol. lmao.

when dad hugs him after he gets off the train, that notion quickly disappears.

at first he tries to hide it. he doesn't want his dad to hate him. Gustav is happy to see him again, and can tell something's bothering his son, but can never get a straightforward answer. he's worried.

confession scene comic drafts:

eventually, after a month of being back home, Mishka says "fuck it, I've already fucked up my life, I'm already a social outcast, I'm already a garbagefire, I have nothing to lose, I'll tell my dad and either he feels the same or he disowns me!!"

(here, I'll add some sketches I've made for the confession scene. amongst other sketches.)

Mishka confesses kinda hopeful (delusional) that maybe his dad might feel the same.

...but dad does NOT feel the same... he takes some time to process what he just heard.

Mishka is red in the face, sweating, panicking, tearing up bc this is humiliating and painfully awkward and he "should not have told him, should have taken it to the grave!! fuuuuuck"

Gustav is confused and concerned. it doesn't register until he asks again and Mishka's like "this is humiliating enough, don't make me say it again...."

(I need to work out the dialogue here I think..... Gus doesn't disown him, he's extremely uncomfortable with the idea, but ALSO doesn't want to reject Mishka!! he's at a loss and doesn't know how to respond so he's like "it's late, I need some time to think, let's talk about this tomorrow")

he loves his son. but not like that.

(extra long post and more sketches under the Keep Reading)

and then there's an awkward moment / fake-out where Mishka may or may not have been aiming for a kiss. dad turns that down real fast though, uncomfortable. Mishka fears this may have just caused a permanent rift between them, that they can never be affectionate again, and begs him to forget the whole thing.

Gustav can tell that Mishka's gonna be agonizing over this (oh, Gus is too. but doesn't want to double the panic here*) and tells his son to not hurt himself. (Mishka tends to pull at his hair and scratch his skin up to release emotion)

*main things on Gustav's mind: since he's a teacher, he would not only get fired, but hunted for sport if he was actually in an illicit relationship with his son, so he really doesn't want to even entertain the idea. especially since he already feels like he's on thin ice at his workplace - he's good at his job, but it's an open secret that he's "gay" (he's not even gay, he's bi!!)

they retreat to their rooms to turn in for the night. Mishka writes to his bestie Kaito who's the only one he talks to about his feelings for his dad (strangers on the internet and people who took his incest vagueposting as a joke don't count haha).

Gus looks to the internet for any advice on this situation he never expected to be in as a father. "wtf do I do when my own flesh and blood, my own son, half my age, is in love with me, romantically? and maybe sexually?? how do I turn him down without hurting his feelings" he somehow phrases it in such a way that he mostly gets porn results, which is the opposite of what he's looking for! XD it's a very popular porn category and that makes him feel even worse.

here's another WIP I'm trying to work on about this scene. the confession, plus a moment when Gus remembers fearing homophobia in his teen years, but confessing to a classmate regardless (he's bi but most people assume he's either gay or straight)... and immediately shuts it down, thinking to himself "wait that's not even remotely the same thing!! s-some things are societally unacceptable with good reason!"

I'm just trying to work out the dialogue more, to better show Gustav's confusion, apprehension, empathy and an attempt at a gentle rejection.

afterward, they try to go on as normal but now that it's out there, Mishka gets bolder with his affection. and gets reprimanded. occasionally. Gustav's body welcomes the touch, but Gus himself is not happy with this for a multitude of reasons!!!! it's ok, he gets over his incest aversion. he may have felt some sort of way about Mishka's scruffy facial hair and deeper voice when he saw him again for the first time in half a year, but chalked it up to aesthetic appreciation? "what the hell, my son's grown so much... he's so cute... uh, objectively."

they got some mutual desperation and loneliness going on, they're perfect for each other.

I like this fragile and uncertain time in their life and relationship the most so I draw it the most. guilty and hesitant indulgence in forbidden fruit... typical will-they-wont-they situation. but it's like they-probably-shouldnt. but they will.

thanks for asking!! 💘 hope this has been an interesting read. glad you like my characters. :) if this caused more questions than answers, feel free to ask more about them!

[carriehobbs]

I keep thinking about @/fauville’s tags (“#literally no one else calls the detective by a nickname #not their mom. not tina or verda”) on this post and how it's just another example of the way that the constraints of interactive fiction as a storytelling medium (e.g., limitations in what the writer knows how to code, inability to account for all players' (and player characters') reactions to the text, nuanced conversations reduced in-game to multiple choice answers, etc.) inadvertently provide characterization for the game's characters.

to use @/fauville's example of the detective's nickname: tina and verda should, at the very least, know that the detective has a nickname and should use it; however, they use the detective's first name instead. this is speculation (i don't know if mishka has ever gone on-record to say why nicknames were not a part of book 1), but I suspect, from a writing standpoint, that this decision was made because nicknames hadn't been included in book 1 (perhaps because mishka didn't yet know how to code nicknames in choicescript, or because she hadn't anticipated players wanting a feature like optional nicknames) and it would have seemed jarring for someone who has always called the detective by their first name to suddenly start using a nickname midway through book 2. unit bravo can get away with this change because they hadn't known about the nickname previously (doesn't know about the nickname -> learns about the nickname -> uses the nickname) in a way that tina and verda, who have known the detective for years, cannot (doesn't know about the nickname -> learns about the nickname -> doesn't use the nickname for years -> suddenly starts using the nickname with no explanation ??).

just because we, as players, can acknowledge and understand the external factors that influence a game's production (e.g., not knowing how to code a particular feature at the start of the series and later learning how to implement that feature, if this is indeed the case), doesn't mean that I think we should ignore the implications these gameplay (and game-making) decisions have for the coherence of the story and character. perhaps tina and verda's use of the detective's first name was motivated by external factors, but it still says something about the characters that they do so (perhaps it lends to the way that verda can sometimes seem more formal or put-together, or speaks to a past between tina and the detective before the detective started using a nickname, etc.).

even more interesting (to me, at least) are the implications that rebecca choosing to use the detective's full name has for rebecca's character and her relationship with the detective. rebecca will call the detective by their first name regardless of both their past relationship and their current relationship. in a low-approval playthrough, it is pretty easy to come up with reasons that rebecca might not call the detective by a nickname. perhaps she doesn't feel like she's close enough to the detective to use a nickname. perhaps she and the detective are so distant that she doesn't even know the detective would prefer to be called a nickname in the first place.

furthermore, what does it say about rebecca that she still won't use the detective's nickname even if they are close? we've seen through the series that, even on a high-approval playthrough, rebecca seems to feel a lot of guilt for not being around through the detective's childhood (regardless of how that guilt actually informed her actions) - is her refusal to use a nickname she should know about some kind of self-flagellation wherein she doesn't feel as though she deserves to be close to the detective and so she creates an artificial distance between them through the use of their full name? what motivation does rebecca have for not using the detective's nickname, and what does it say about her that she doesn't?

I just find it endlessly fascinating the ways in which the constraints of the medium can unintentionally provide characterization for the game's characters. I don't think that we, as players, should write off these moments of characterization just because they were the results of a constraint. regardless of whatever external factors influence the game's production, why, in-fiction, does a character do a certain thing, and what does that action or decision impact how we understand them?

[twosides--samecoin]

get to know me tag

As tagged by @krokaxe - thank you, have a good day!

LAST SONG: Lately, a Deacon-inspired playlist I made

FAVORITE COLOR: Olive green, sunflower yellow, cobalt blue

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Dog Training by Kikopup.

LAST MOVIE/TV SHOW: I'm really terrible at keeping up with movies and TV! I saw Oppenheimer with my sister in the summertime. I watch a lot of YouTube.

SPICY/SAVORY/SWEET: All!

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I got courthouse married to @edaworks in November 2023! I wore ripped jeans and my Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen shirt. We ate at a local taqueria and visited Ikea after. I highly recommend getting it done in the courthouse and then planning for a ceremony later. We're both law-brained and understand marriage is not just the connection between people but getting a lot of really important paperwork in order - figuring out a will, pre/post nup agreements. Relationship status affects taxes, finances. Our relationship was already "as good as married" and a legitimate marriage affording us the rights befitting spouses was most attainable in a courthouse. We still cried and it was still beautiful.

CURRENT OBSESSION: My puppy, Mishka.

LAST GOOGLE SEARCH: why did usa go off gold standard

Tagging: @perfectlypreservedpie @leavingautumn13 @bokatan @khazrablood @electricshoebox @bleumanouche @deacons-wig @salamanderpie @super-duper-mart @thedrawbacksofbeingmortal @happyhappysparkle @danses-with-dogmeat @userdogmeat @some27-url @vault-heck Happy New Year friends!

[twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for]

This is going to be a long massage and my English isn't so good, so pardon me.

First I gotta say I just saw and followed your blog tonight (but somehow managed to read your posts for the last 3 months I think) It's amazing how you know UB members so well like you're the writer, I can't even imagine myself there one day. I liked your posts (especially the one you said about M being totally perceptive towards the Detective. You know, the one Mishka said M wouldn't notice if the Detective didn't talk to M due to an argument, I totally agree with you there.)

So, to the question (I hope it isn't too cliché): How do you think UB would react if the Detective sacrifices themselves to save LI from mortal danger?

(Bonus: The danger being the Annunaki, and the Detective somehow takes down his protective barrier permanently, then dies smiling)

I’m so glad you like the blog and my answers! I do my absolute best to do these characters justice with all the comfort they’ve given me. You don’t want to go down the rabbit hole I have though to get here it’s a long, sad, hyperfixated journey lol

It’s no secret that thinking about the detective dying and UB’s reaction to that is my favorite flavor of ice cream so I may have answered this before but….

I think A would be able to go back to some kind of normalcy. Obviously they’re destroyed and traumatized by losing the detective, that was their soulmate, but A has lived a certain way for so long that I think they would go back to it. I see A keeping the detective’s memory like a little secret just for them and I don’t think they would ever want to talk about them on anyone else’s terms. I think A would only talk about the detective late and when the mood was right and maybe only with N. As for in the moment, it kind of depends on if they get one last moment with the detective before they take their last breath. I can only see A reacting with anger that the detective would do that and that anger wouldn’t even be all targeted at the detective but also A themselves for not doing enough of being enough to make it so the detective would never have to make that choice. Probably say things or phrase thing in a way they regret but don’t worry they’ll accidentally break something (other than their own heart) thinking about it later.

N is probably the one that hurts the most to think about and I feel like it’s heavily implied that the scenario of the detective sacrificing themselves period, let alone for N, actually destroys N as we know them so it’s so hard to say who they would be after. For some reason I’m getting the vibes that N turns into someone that a stranger can look at them and be like “That is a haunted man/woman” right away and I also for some reason see N starting to maladaptive daydream. I could see them thinking daydreaming about moments that will never come or seeing like the ghost of a memory whenever they pass by a bakery or something. Probably a lot of nudging and support from UB to keep them moving. In the moment, N would probably react to the detective’s sacrifice with denial. They didn’t just do that, that didn’t just happen, their breath and heart isn’t slowing, it just can’t be happening. If N gets to say anything to the detective before they go I think it would be panicked lies that N absolutely has themself believing that they’ll be just fine and to not fall asleep. Pretty promises are made to take them away from all this, leave it all behind, and take them somewhere where nothing can hurt them again if they just don’t close their eyes.

I feel like F would cope the best which isn’t saying a lot but I think they would. I also feel like they would honor the detective’s memory the best. I think whenever F would see things that reminded them of the detective they would have a sense of warmth and nostalgia rather than dread and would take any and every opportunity to talk about the detective to whomever would listen. Like people would be shocked to hear that the person F raves about is long gone because they would sound just as in love as they did before they lost the detective (please note this is also how I think N would be in the scenario that the detective died of old age, not by sacrificing themselves). F would probably have this feeling the the detective is always with them and some days are easier than others dealing with the fact they’re not. F can look back at memories and smile more than they’ll cry. The detective’s memory is one F tells sweetly and often. In the moment, I think F would also react to the detective’s sacrifice with denial. F has unwavering faith in the detective and sees them as so capable that it’s probably hard to fathom. I don’t know how much F would be able to say, choked by grief. F wants nothing more than someone to choose them, they just wish it would stop being like this.

M is also an owie because they lose more than their soulmate they also lose their personal little slice of peace. I think M won’t be much different to outsiders other than M remaining faithful to the detective (I don’t know if Sera has confirmed that but I’m 100% sure that’s what would happen) and continuing to not have one night stands or any physical relationships like they used to. Life would more or less be like it was before the detective and I think like A they wouldn’t want to talk about the detective to anyone (also like A, I think M would only let N try to). I think M would look at the stars even more trying to find the detective in them, maybe pause every time they see a hot chocolate or a carnival. The memories of the detective would burn but they would never let them go. If the detective is buried, I imagine they would always say this is the last time they’ll visit the gravesite so they can look at the stars with the detective one last time but it’s one of many “last time”s that they never follow through on. I think in the moment M reacts with anger and will tell the detective what they did was stupid. Ask them how could they. M is more put together than anyone else in these situations so I think they’re rapid fire trying to think of a solution. If the detective had expressed a desire to become a vampire I think desperation would make M (literally) bite to at least try even after they know the detective’s heart stopped.

A/N: traumatized

F: honored (in a way)

M: Angry/overwhelmed

A/N/M/F: trapped in an eternity of grief :)

[stargazer-sims]

📩 Simblr question of the day: It's time to appreciate the small things! What's a small detail from one of your posts that you love? Could be a small tattoo on a sim, specific clutter in a sims' room, a little detail in a render or screenshot, whatever is applicable to you

This is a difficult question because I'm a detail-oriented person and I like to have small things everywhere, whether others notice them or not. I enjoy making specific things for my sims which are unique to the original character of mine that the sim represents. I've made tattoos, scars and birthmarks for several of them.

For example, Nikolai & Natascha's birthmarks:

Nobody really sees these, but my characters have them nevertheless, and I decided that if I was going to make sim avatars for them, the sim avatars needed the characters' birthmarks too. Yuri and Kenji also have birthmarks, which I did not make. Ryota Takaichi has a portwine stain (one of EA's).

Félix's two tattoos are made by me, and they each have a fairly involved story behind them.

All of Derek's tattoos except the full sleeve are mine as well. There's no real story behind any of these other than he enjoys being inked. The T-Rex is a play on his nickname, D-Rex, but it doesn't go much deeper than that. Still, the details are important.

I've made custom tattoos for Davey, Fox, Clancy, Takahiro, Seiji, Artie, Hope and Belle too (although Belle and Hope don't get theirs till they're young adults).

My characters have scars as well, many of which I've made custom ones to represent. Fox and Artie have belly scars like Félix's. Yuri has a tiny scar on his stomach from when he had his feeding tube. Fox has a scar on his ankle from surgery. Ji-Soo has a scar on her chest from being attacked while she was on the job as a police officer. Mishka has a scar near his eye from being struck by a broken hockey stick. Beth-Anne has several facial scars from a traumatic childhood incident. (I did not make Miskha's or Ji-Soo's scars, nor any of Beth-Anne's scars except the one on her hand).

Other "tattoos" I've made are my custom alien spots for all ages. All my Sixamish characters have these, and I did make up lore for them as well. Kaji and baby Esri have an extremely rare spot colouration, known as warm polychromia:

Here's a whole polychromatic family:

Tae's spots are monochromatic. This is the most common.

________________

Another detail I like is jewelry, and rings in particular. They may be something small that not everyone notices, but I think it really completes a character's look.

I'm not sure if this really answers your question, but anyway... there you go.

[mycurrentobsessionis]

Can we talk about how freaking smart Mishka Jenkins is for a moment?? My mom and I were talking about her the other day, and my mom was like "either she is incredibly savvy or she has the best fucking instincts I have ever seen!" Like, ma'am really started off with four of the most popular romantic archetypes. Your brooding antihero. The bad boy. Freaking Prince Charming. And the cozy romance that is d'awwville. Wrapped that shit in a police procedural and true crime type shit -- which is a genre popular with the same people who love romance -- and then she made it accessible by making the gender and sexuality of the main characters flexible. And it's like, good romance.

All that to say she's a great writer, but there's more! It's like. She saw the Tumblr 'ecosystem' and all the things fans were going to do anyway. She wrote fics and posted art on her own blog. She's always been incredibly interactive with her fanbase. And I think she's the first author I've seen who did the LI-asks for her own characters.

Like, it's one thing to be a talented writer. It's another thing to be a talented writer and artist. Then she's skilled at marketing too?

She deserves every penny she gets, and I hope when Book 3 drops next month that it sells so many freaking copies. My family will be buying 3.

[the-loveheart-galaxy]

*sees our “being an introject” post*

*237 notes*

omg we’re famous

[nsewell]

j*****s n sewell with their hair tied back and loose curls in the front p*******g f*****r is everything to me (~agentnatesewell)

i'm not saying the nat with her hair pinned up post that i made last week manifested this i'm just saying mishka reads my blog. it was soooooo fan servicey and everything i want from this kind of thing hehehe

[masonscig]

Writer Rant: Am I the only one who finds it kind of strange how many people are complaining about how the detective didn't have a choice but to join the agency? Like I totally get thinking its too soon (I personally expected it in book 4 at least, so I have no issue with the opinion it should have happened later in the series) but there's been multiple posts I've seen of people saying they're upset that choice was forced upon them/the 'no' option didn't work, and I'm kind of wondering what they expected? Idk I feel like there's this growing trend in the IF/COG community where people are mad that they can't go completely against the status quo of the story, but like...there's a difference between taking away choices for the protag/taking control out of the players hands and some plots just *needing* to happen in order for the story to proceed as intended, especially when they relate directly to the protag and their environment and not a mostly offscreen situation like the aftermath of whether Sanja survives/the treaty is signed in Book 2.

The detective being a full time agent is a major development and would effect most if not every agency/station related scene going forward - if saying no was a legitimate option that carried over as a major choice, Mishka would basically have to write a second version of each subsequent book to account for the differences until they finally join. Not allowing that to be an option isn't taking away the players choice because it was *never* a choice to begin with, its a set part of the plot already. I get the frustration of it maybe not being the most in character, but the author in me wants to scream that it's not on the author to adapt their story to fit each OC every time, especially when that OC is made to intentionally break what 'should' be happening. For all the legitimate criticism about book 3 that I've seen, this is the one that I genuinely Do Not Understand unless there's just a lot of folks in the fandom without experience writing longer, connective works, because they either don't recognize or respect just *how much* would have to change going forward based on that one call.

i completely get where you're coming from, i really do, but i have to disagree with some points here

i think that the reason people are upset is because mis/hka has like. stripped the agency (haha no pun intended) from the mc but it doesn't quite feel as intentional as she wanted it to be – (idk if i'm explaining correctly bc it makes sense in my head) let's say you're playing with an mc that has little to no agency points, they've fucked up majorly at every stat check (murphy got away, sanja died, falk didn't sign the treaty, falk was hostile, fucked up at the auction), and they're scared of supernaturals? in what world would that qualify the mc for an agency position?

if you're thinking "okay well, maybe it's because the agency is trying to keep a close watch on the mc" – okay, well, mis/hka isn't going to flesh out the idea of the agency being evil or even explicitly morally grey. she's said herself in asks before that the agency are the "good guys" (i don't feel like looking for it lmao if you do, godspeed. there's a lot of asks to sift through) – so the choice just doesn't make sense unless she's been playing the absolute longest con and they'll be revealed to be the true antagonists in the end.

if they are, i'll record myself a jean jacket with no sauce :) xoxo

but like others have said before, mis/hka is writing this series as a utopia of sorts – the mc is a fucking cop, working for a federal agency. and they're presented as the good guys. that alone means that any weird things that they do are going to be pushed aside and blamed on an "individual" rather than the "structure" itself, if that makes sense. (an option available towards the end of book 3 depending on what route you're on is being able to erase bobby's memories if they find out about supernaturals. a cop? possibly forcibly suppressing a journalist? yeah. no thought put into that option.)

what i'm getting at is, she's stripping the choice to join the agency from the mc's who don't want it, and similarly, from what she's shown us, it's not going to amount to anything, because she doesn't seem to criticize any of the systems she's established in a larger sense outside of the mc's dialogue. so if that doesn't matter, then what are the mc's working towards? <- this is a rhetorical question, food for thought if you will LMAO

sorry this is all over the place, but to tie it all back together, i think that yes, if your oc doesn't fit the universe, i completely agree – you can't blame the author for not fulfilling every fantasy you have about the series – but similarly, i think that if mis/hka is giving us the option to make mc's who are untrustworthy of the agency, it's her job to follow through with that to some degree. and that means not just pandering to mcs that love their job, love being a cop, love supernaturals, love the agency, always pass stat checks, etc.

all of my thoughts are based on things she's said about her own story, and how i think that contradicts some ideas she may be unintentionally setting up.

but again, i totally get where ur coming from – branching stories are difficult, i just think that if you're going to offer options in a story, then choices should matter, and they feel like they don't in b3. i get that things need to happen in order for the story to progress, but some of these choices the mc is able to make feels like dead ends? like it's not going anywhere

[freshdotdaily]

As I recall, we recorded this at Converse Rubber Tracks in like 2013-2014 probably. I wanted to add more to it and get it mastered and crispier sounding. But as I listen back to it now, I like the gritty unfinished Lofi element it has to it, feels like a mixtape cut off an old DJ Clue tape.

As two enlightened black men from Brooklyn public housing who made it past 25 years of age to thrive and create art, there's much to celebrate with this track. I titled it "War Elephants" because Hannibal of Carthage crossed the Alps on Elephants and stomped on many an enemy head in war and this felt like that kinda proclamation.

He might hate this story, but the first time I saw exQuire rock, was at Bowery Poetry Club. His skinny jeans ripped that night mid-performance because mans was going HARD and rapping for his life on that tiny stage. It left an indelible mark on me. He gave me a copy of his mixtape on CD. The cover was a collage of all his influences, like comics, wrestling, rap, etc. I still have it.

The next time I seent duke was in Pathmark (RIP) on the late night and bruh was acting kinda suspicious so I figured he was shoplifting lol. He later told me he was just nervous. To meet me? I really am just a project baby from Fort Greene who be rapping so when anyone tells me they were geeked to meet me or my music had ANY impact on them, it throws me for a loop. But, I paid attention to brody because I knew what time he was on. Vibes don't lie and him (and SickSentz) were making moves around the city & country. This video is like from 2013. Crazy that's 10 years ago, right?

If you know him as an artist in the mid to post-blog era NYC rap scene, he quickly rose to rap prominence off a Mishka-assisted single that boasted one of the hardest remixes feat. the long-heralded return of indie rap OG EL-P. That rise included a record deal, a single with Gucci Mane, and a host of other things. During this time, I faded to the back to focus on myself and my event series brand. But despite where HIS lengthy accomplishments in music took him, whenever brody & I crossed paths, he always acknowledged my skill, my influence, and my accomplishments. I did a lot for the culture in my hometown to little or no recognition and definitely no pay or recompense. Especially when ppl blow up, they tend to forget all the ppl who they rocked w/ on their ascension. So when people who are doing good in this culture acknowledge ya boy, it holds weight, cuz a nigga was really outside giving many folks the blueprint before I faded to black (that's a Jiggaman reference right there lol). Peep my tiny cameo in this video at 5:01.

It's dope to be appreciated after dipping & returning. Shouts to BMB Spacekid who used to send me beat tape after beat tape and this one was on it. I played beats for eXquire and I skipped this one, but he asked me to run it back, and picked this one to my utter surprise. The rest is history.

Here's a flick of me, eX, MURS, and El-P

Feels right to let this one loose. Enjoy. Support if you can (it's $5) If you can't just share it. Thanks!

[foxymoxynoona]

I loved that recent reader's review of Amended. I love this story so much and she did such a great job of highlighting so many of the reasons why and my favorite scenes too.

I have reread Amended dozens of times now because it is my ultimate comfort story, and I will note that one of my favorite parts about rereading it is that on second read, my perspective of Isabella's behavior in those early chapters totally changed.

On first read, I definitely struggled to understand why she was being so thorny and reluctant and why Jungkook was so patient through all of that. But after understanding the story completely and reading the two flashback chapters towards the end of the book, my mindset totally changed and I was 100% supportive of her early doubts about Jungkook and about him needing to really work to earn back her trust and love.

I also think it made me question some of my own internalized misogyny. There were definite moments at the beginning of Amended when I first read it where I was like why is she being such a bitch? Why is he putting up with this? And it's interesting that when the shoe was on the other foot in some of your other stories like Meadow and Lowlander, I thought Jungkook was being a huge dick, but it felt like okay that's a normal journey for a man to have to learn how to process his emotions and I was more forgiving and patient with his character growth. I love a story that makes me think twice about why I react to characters in certain ways too!

I definitely recommend anyone who is a fan of Amended to come back and reread the story a second time, it truly puts a fresh perspective on the story.

I love this so much because that was completely a thing I was exploring within myself when I started the story! I wanted to write a woman who I felt some discomfort with, or disagreement with about her choices, and explore that double standard with male behavior/expectations. I don't say that to mean this story is some profound ANSWER, but it was really valuable to me as a person and as a writer to not set out to make her "likeable" --but then over time she became extremely likeable to me, and it was interesting to see at what point that changed for me AND for readers, or for some readers it never did!

After I finished, I think I had put a post on here talking more in-depth about that exploration into internalized misogyny and how it played a role in Amended, and how I shifted further away from that as time went on and she became so more of a person than an idea. My own critique is that if I had really wanted that to be a defining theme of the story, I would have given her less "reason" to be the way she was, because it makes it too easy to "explain away" her struggles or the things viewed as unacceptable, rather than recognizing her as a person with her own views and beliefs and behaviors that may just not conform to society's expectation of proper behavior for a woman. But watching people compare JK's behavior and growth (which largely happened pre-story) and Isabella's was incredibly interesting for me.

Your comment comparing her to male characters in my other stories is just so astute, and it's something I have watched with interest behind the scenes. The reader response to Isabella was so interestingly different in many ways from reader response to Meadow JK or Sugar Fairy JK or Lowlander JK or even prickly puppy Sea of Indigo JK. There's overlap of course, it's not like anyone was ever like "wow Meadow JK what an angel in those early days, huh?" LOL. And also response to her was different compared to other female characters who struggle with trauma or self-doubt or prickliness, like Mishka and Sasha and even Y/N in Sea of Indigo! In a way, the growth of those jK's was all very simple and straight-forward and readers accepted it much more quickly than they did Isabella's, which was more emotional and muddled.

I just have really enjoyed watching it all, but also writing it and exploring it in myself, and I hope to continue to force myself to confront my own biases and hangup to grow both as a writer and a person.

[crouteann]

curse of strahd is insane i cant believe we rewrote the timeline in a way that uriels entire order is still alive ON ACCIDENT… AND THE PLAYER CHARACTERS WHO HAD THEIR LIVES CHANGE DONT REMEMBER THEIR PREVIOUS TRUTHS, ITS INSANE. THE OTHER PC WHOSE MEMORIES HAVE CHANGED IS KASIMIR. ITS BIG CRAZY DUDE. i made picrews of the order of the forgotten flower a while ago just kind of assuming theyd always be dead bc WHY WOULDNT I so ill put them under the cut along with just so much rambling info about uriel and his order i feel crazy. i never thought we would visit the monastery or GET TO TALK TO THEM AGAIN BUT HERE WE ARE

davey and i basically made up an elf monastery to corellon thats pretty reclusive that uriel was a part of. he was a founding member of the order, which was basically a relic finding task force. originally they went to berez to find the sun sword but it was a trap, all of them died except for uriel who was turned by strahd and excommunicated when he came back (its a big no no to run from a fight in the eyes of followers of corellon, and though he really didnt run he was the only member to come back and boy did he come back wrong)

uriels lover mikhail is someone who one could easily compare to sergei von zarovich and strahd had fun killing him personally but unbeknownst to uriel mishka also came back wrong when the dark powers gave him a second shot at life in the wreckage of the bergomasters manor in berez. uriel didnt find out til 10 years later after he ended his self flagellating isolation + joined the party and was reunited with Mikhail who admitted he had been working with strahd to keep him safe. basically thanks to the deal with the dark powers and manner of his death the mikhail that the party came to know was covered in burn scars, physically cold as ice, and completely unable to emote. it took his warmth. WE WERE PANICKING BC IT SEEMED LIKE HED BEEN CAPTURED BY STRAHD AND WAS IN TROUBLE AND THEN…. WE FINISHED THE INTERACTIVE TOME OF STRAHD AND HISTORY WAS REWRITTEN AND HE AND THE ORDER ARE FINE AND MIKHAIL IS HIS OLD SELF………………. unrecognizable to the party sans uriel and this also means uriel has something to lose again in a major way. IM SO SCARED.

uriel is still strahds spawn it just went down differently and was much more personal. its insane. i feel CRAZY

anyway heres my elf priests via picrew (strahd set the bergomasters manor on fire with them in it, listen, the bg was just impossible not to use)

in order: raphael, gavril aka “gav”, uriel, and mikhail, the oldest OG members of the order. raphael, uriel, and mikhail are straight up elf nuns married to corellon. theyre all very tightly knit and love eachother more than words could say.

then— iehudiel aka “salt”, barakhil, and selafiyel, the youngest and newest members. the twins are half elf/half orcs born from a barovian elf and an outsider, and salt just straight up was an adventurer who became trapped in barovia. the OG 4 are very protective of them and losing the order made uriels brain snap in half.

mishka got the most art from me on account of still being alive but ive doodled all of the OG members of the order!!! the dark power of cold gave him glowy eyes post-revival.