#posting time is a bit fucked bc the only time i remember to post is between 1-3am

[lusalemaart]

[voidedjuice]

a kiss

[sukugo]

Ok, I need to scream this at somebody and I feel like you're the right person. WHAT THE FUCK is the deal with hayden Christensen in the early 2000s?? I don't even like men, I'm a lesbian, I don't find men attractive I don't want to have sex with them, I don't like men. But what the fuck is up with early 2000s hayden christensen?? Like what?? I'm sorry??? I want to lick him. I want to spank him and make him cry. And like.. what the fuck?? How does somebody's voice even sound like that?? How are lips even that pouty??? I want to push anakin skywalker face down into a mattress and make him fucking sob?? Anyway. Um. Why is he so fuckable? It's like completely ungodly?? And I'm sorry did I mention the voice?? Like what? What the fuck?

SCREAAAAAAMMMNNNNNN

ANON ARE U ME? DID I WRITE THIS? bc it literally feels like i lost consciousness and sent this to myself HDASJDHASJDASD

which is my way of saying GOD YEAH FUCKING MOOOOOODDD. I GET YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA. I AM ALSO A LESBIAN WHO WANTS TO FUCK YOUNG HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

u're so correct about everything, he's so fuckable, he's so insanely fuckable, i don't fucking get it either 😭😭😭😭😭😭 LITERALLY!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lick him and spank him and fuck him into a mattress while he sobs.... yeah.. yeah yeah YEAH

this man unlocks Feelings inside one that are just. crazy. lusting after a man. can u fucking believe this anon. 😭😭😭😭😭

[triglycercule]

i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

[yardsards]

i think one of the most evil aspects of fundamentalist evangelical christianity is how it (and the general culture of those who follow it) encourages parents to treat children

first off, it treats having children as something EVERYONE should do, regardless of if they actually want and are capable of raising said children. in more extreme cases you get shit like the quiverfull movement, wherein couples are encouraged to have as many children as physically possible

and then, those children are referred to like they're their parents possessions, like they are just objects their parents were "gifted" with by god. they're not treated like their own human beings.

AND a core tenet of their religion is that humans are born inherently sinful. they think newborns, who can't even fully control their bodily functions yet, are automatically full of sin. an infant's crying for its basic needs to be met is seen as a sign of their inherent selfishness

a parents' main goal is supposed to be to "purify" that child's soul by any means necessary, the child's actual wellbeing is secondary to "saving their soul"

and, of course, free thought is discouraged in favour of obedience. they believe in a hierarchy: child < wife < husband < god. if you are to disobey the one above you, then you are considered to be disobeying god himself- even if the thing your parent or husband is commanding you not to do is not a sin in of itself. "honor thy father and thy mother"

and again, parents are taught that the best trait for a child to have is *obedience*. obedient to their parents and obedient to the church and scripture

parents are taught to force that obedience by corporal punishment. physical abuse (and yes. "spanking" is abuse. if you disagree then, well, i'm sorry that someone convinced you that raising a hand against someone so much smaller and weaker than you is anything short of abusive) is ENCOURAGED

in fact, if you DON'T hit your kids, you are seen as A BAD PARENT, who is failing to properly "train" their child, and who is dooming their child to a life of wickedness, sin, and suffering ("he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." or, put more simply, "spare the rod spoil the child")

parents are told to ignore their own despair and revulsion towards the idea of harming their child, and to hit them anyway. hit the kid and ignore the voice in your head that says hitting kids is wrong. remind yourself that this is for the child's own good. remind yourself that this is god's will.

you're also supposed to remind the child that you are hurting them for their own good, because god commands it. teach them that people hurting them is a good thing.

and many suggest that after you beat them, give your child comfort (comfort from the distress caused by being beaten by you, who is supposed to protect them from harm) and to give them affection (to drive home the point that hurting them is how you show love). which, if you know about the cycle of abusive relationships (tension, violent incident, reconciliation, calm) then you can see how this is pretty much a mirror image of that

it's fucking evil

look up the book "to train up a child" if you want to see this taken to the extreme. even many fundamentalists thing the methodology is too extreme, but they generally agree with the ideology/principles behind it

[mossflower]

ok i’m gonna set an alarm but it is not the end of the world if i miss the lecture tomorrow

[hauntingblue]

Toranaga's son is so funny. Failson 🫵🏻

[songofwizardry]

i stumbled across a Rumi quatrain on tumblr today and it reminded me to go looking for my favourites, so here's a few, all taken from Kulliyat-e Shams-e Tabrizi, with the caveat that i do not speak Farsi and I have read them all as translations only. more notes on translation at the end, but all of these are translated by Zara Houshmand, and taken from the archives of The Iranian.

#1771

#57

#1584

#1316

and the note on translation: these are of course not the Coleman Barks translations, the most popular English translations. i think the orientalism and... de-Sufi-fying and de-Muslim-ifying of the Barks translations and a lot of English-language and Western perception of Rumi is much more discussed now (Jawid Mojaddedi, who is writing a translation of Rumi's multi-volume Masnavi, says, "The Rumi that people love is very beautiful in English, and the price you pay is to cut the culture and religion.") if you're interested, Persian Poetics has a great twitter thread about it and their website has text, audio, and video resources where they've talked about it. and this article from Ajam Media is a short read and an interesting comparison of a few different translations.

if you enjoy Zara Houshmand's translations, she has a book of translations of Rumi's quatrains, Moon and Sun. there's many translations of Rumi's works not by Barks, that prioritise different things: you can 100% find a translation that isn't Barks, and Rumi's work is. so beautiful and so much better when you are not reading whatever uhhh... interpretation Barks came up with.

[orcelito]

of all things, seeing goro and sumi interact makes me wanna work on the next ladue chapter more than anything else the past like 2 weeks

Wild

[astrxealis]

man i’m kinda exhausted tbh. maybe. maybe. i sleep

also fun fact i think it is hilarious that. w/o context. i will say i screamed this birthday more than any other bday b4

[fuzzyunicorn]

Hmm yes I’ll explain. So y r Scientologists so fuckin’ weird? Well first of all their dumb cunting asses fell for the trick that aliens r Gods, so what does that tell u about them? They’re foolish af. Dumb as hell. Absolute bafoons. It should say a lot the god they pretend to worship has literally put out a fuckin’ hit on them. How bad do u have 2 b to get ur own god to order ur deaths??? lol god is siccing his own Angels onto people who worship him…. You have to be pretty fuckin’ henious for this to happen. Let that sink in for a min their own god has commanded they all die screaming. 😬🫠 that’s bad! So y do they have an obsession w torturing their victims dogs? Every woman who rightfully accused Dany Masterson of raping her, all those women’s dogs have died in super cruel & unusual ways… y? I’ll tell ya: evil Satanic aliens who come from the Orion star system… okay? The good aliens who r helping me all come from the Sirius star system. The Orion fuck faces GOT House sigil equivalent is a (human) Hunter like the tale of Orion the Hunter; the Sirions GOT House sigil equivalent is a dog and what is dog spelled backwards????? Yeah that’s why evil aliens love torturing & mutilating dogs. So that is why Scientologists who serve & actually worship the evil Gray aliens (who live under da sea!) torture & mutilate the dogs of their victims. Oooouoh & this mad dog (me) has been sicced on the Orinions and their groupies :) ur all fucked fucked fucked! This little doggy (me) just ate her cocain & gunpowder & pounded the slaughter water in my doggy water bowl :) ruff ruff stupid cunts :)

[skrunksthatwunk]

so a thing that my brain does on the reg is it makes me get nervous about a scenario (ranging from probably-won't-happen to Definitely-Won't-Happen) and then i have to spend like 40 minutes meandering my way through an improv youtube apology video until my brain feels like I've addressed the scenario about as well as i can and lets me move on. usually this comes in the form of like

you accidentally said a forbidden slur (i.e. one i can't reclaim) while streaming/in a group conversation and now have to explain that your brain misfired catastrophically hard and that you've never said this word before (true) And You Have To Do It Well Enough To Be Believed

because like. i wouldn't believe that guy either, y'know? most people in that situation just cross that bridge when they get to it and do pretty bad, so maybe my brain is trying to help prepare me via interrogation. my point is that i spend a lotta my spare time pacing in my bathroom fending off theoretical murder charges (which are either phony OR true OR a secret third thing depending on the day).

as soon as i woke up this morning my brain gave me a new one:

what if people accuse you of faking your (middling) knowledge of french? and also you're a celebrity and have to prove it by speaking french live on a talk show or something.

which like. good morning to you too, brain. the first thing i did was (slowly, mediocrely) construct an appropriately indignant sentence in my head (i haven't used french since my ap exam like a month ago) and then

BUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK SOMEONE FED ME THE LINE

ok we'll have the audience write in questions live

WHAT IF THEY STILL THINK IT'S RIGGED AND ALSO WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE ASKING ((<- LIKELY AND UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ROOTED IN LIVED EXPERIENCE!!!)) WHICH WOULD PROBABLY MAKE IT WORSE

girl that's The Most i can do what do you want from me.

and then once i woke up more i had a realization in that blasted out, quiet way—like an astronaut drifting away from their ship untethered, forever. that

the prognosis of taking american public high school language courses is to remember jack shit (pardon my french). it's a classic babe it's near universal. we all know we don't know.

Babygirl, (And I Cannot Express This Enough,) No One Is Ever Going To Make You Speak French Live In ~5-40 Years To Prove You Took It In High School. Go Back To Sleep. there's only like two scenarios you can think of ever where that happens and there's like a 70+% chance you can just say no or ignore it. what a weird thing to fake in the first place too who would even accuse you of that.

anyway sometimes being a citizen of Braintown is funny and not exhausting in a kind of sad clown way but it's usually just kind of awful. something something c'est la vie

[shmpxx]

HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND — y.o

⛤ yuuta okkostu x fem! reader

How else would yuuta react if you denied your relationship in front of everyone? You obviously weren’t gonna be let off easy.

cw. smut. (kinda) exes to lovers-ish. thigh riding. semi-public sex. library sex. dry humping. oral (f. receiving). groping. marking. pet names (princess). face grabbing. slight manhandling. +18!

wc: 1.1k

a/n: yall i got a full time job and I’m doing school and i really want to post my fics more bc i love sharing my writing and hopefully this doesn’t sound rushed lol.

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

You practically had to shout it out loud for it to be known. How many times did you have to say it to get through Maki’s skull as she was constantly teasing you about how you and Yuuta used to act like two middle schoolers in love, laughing about it in front of everyone.

You wanted to craddle yourself into a ball hearing it all made you remember the soft moments you had together and then made you cringe about it in every being of your body.

You held hands and tried to catch the perfect moment to kiss but was too anxious to, spent everyday together before he left, he promised to send a call, text or at least email and now he’s back, decides to act all cool, his attitude changes only slightly like he’s all that now, he had fixed his hair to side and his demeanor turns cold. Everything about him and his current presence ticked you off. He didn’t have to stay. You wished he’d go back.

Did you really wish that? Or did you need him to trap you in the darkest aisle of a library where he caught you. Whispering in your ear to take all those awful words you said back while he’s pinning you against the tall shelf, his pelvis is rocking against yours, his lips ambushing your neck. He’s just kissing you and touching you all over, making sure you don’t escape him either. He’s squeezing your tits a bit too hard, leaving too many hickeys.

“Can we just take a moment—“

“Why should we?” his hot breath hitting the shell of your ear, traveling down your jawline. His hand squishing the sides of your cheeks to turn your head to the side to gain access to your neck. You could feel his wet muscle and his warm lips glide over your skin, his hand on the back of your ass, squeezing it and also pulling you more into him.

The slight change in yuuta was quite scary, he wasn’t as soft as he used to be. He’s leaving marks and his hips are moving recklessly. He knows it will be so much better if he could take your clothes off and be bare already to fuck you like he is your boyfriend, you’re all his.

He guides his leg between your legs under your skirt, his thigh grazing your covered cunt and his hands situated on your hips to rock you against his thigh.

“Didn’t you think it hurt my feelings when you said that in front of everyone?”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing his eyes bore into you, he was looking for an apologetic look from you but you were too distracted by looking down watching as he was driving your hips to desperately drag on his thigh. He was pressing his leg harder into you making you finally let out out moan. The shame you felt when you realized you were in a public place making such noise.

“I was just telling the truth..hah…” your tone with half of regret and moans by yuuta forcing your hips to grind on him, your clit throbbing from the harsh friction and you’re already leaving a damp on his leg.

The way your words were set in annoyance and anger like you truly disregard the fact that you and yuuta never had a thing going on and this frustrates yuuta when he replays how you yelled that he wasn’t your boyfriend.

“I am your boyfriend, i just wanna make sure you don’t forget that princess” He pulls down your bottoms and he’s on his knees with his hands on the sides of your thighs like he’s kneeling to an angel which you were to him and you never thought so with all the built of negativity you had towards him.

“Alright i get it—“

He doesn’t think you do, he wants you to understand that you were his and he was yours. Why would he stop here? He’s already pulling down your underwear and your anxiety strikes at you when he gives your pussy a gentle kiss and you gave out a yelp, you kept your eye down the aisle to see if people would pass by. Your hand is slightly hovering over your mouth, so you’re still emitting small moans.

“C-come on yuuta—quit it already..ah!” You would rather move somewhere with more privacy though yuuta doesn’t care a place, he was too busy making out with your cunt now, his tongue flicked and sucked on your clit.

And it was not enough for him he had to prop your legs on his shoulders that your back pressed against the shelf of books more and you gasp by the sudden feeling of being weightless with your feet off the ground and yuuta buries his lips, his tongue to eat you out.

You cursed under your breath not knowing where to put your hands, you wanted to support yourself to not fall though yuuta would never let that happen and yet also drown in bliss with your hands gripping his black locks. the anxiousness and the pleasure clouding your mind at the same time.

Your trying your best to keep it down and your constant repeated pleas. Yuuta was lapping his tongue from the outside of your walls to your clit and something ignited deep in the pits of your stomach that just made you push your hips further into his face. It doesn’t seem like he was gonna stop anytime, he was so focused his eyes were shut thinking about how good you taste and how he had never got the chance before. he can tell that your twitching to cum soon and your sobs getting a little louder.

“Gonna cum! Gonna cum! Gonna cum!” You squealed, your legs wrapped around the back of his neck and your heels digged into his back, your spine arching off of the shelf and your eyelids flutter.

“Cum on my mouth princess, I’m all yours…” the way his voice melted your heart all over again, causing butterflies to fly in your tummy, made your orgasm come faster but also made you feel shamed and entirely hate it for feeling this way.

The moan of his name being let out so indecently that people might hear or probably did. Feeling the waves of you cumming flow through your body and his mouth hasn’t yet disconnected from you.

Yuuta looks up at you like this was just the beginning. You’re forced to wrap your arms around his neck when his hands comes under behind your knees, you still had no chance of keeping your feet on the floor. He’s already planning to fuck you with the zip of his pants and his cock freeing out, make you cry out a million times repeatedly that your his and he’s yours.

Now you’re gonna have to take everything you said back.

[galactichelium]

Putting this in the tags bc I'm a bit embarrassed </3. Censoring a word because I don't know if search results show searches for words included in tags or not. I wish you could disable posts being searchable outside of your blog (EXCEPT for tags I want tags to be searchable) without disabling search on your own blog

[hoshigray]

HOSHII MY LOVE this is gonna be my first ever request to you 😕 i usually refrain bc i get shy but im so touch deprived rn i NEED YOU TO (only if u want to no pressure pookie) MAKE A LIL MAKEOUT DRABBLE with literally any character plsplspls its carnal atp i love u

-🍓

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: the way i wanted to make this a multi-post, but i've been thinkng this exact scenario w/ toji for the past week, it needs to get out of my head!! i appreciate you entrusting you're first req w/ me awwww ;w;

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x afab/fem! reader - suggestive content; minors DNI - kissing/making out - dry humping/grinding - thigh riding - fluff yet...suggestive - grinding - thigh riding - fingering (f! receiving) - pet names (angel, baby, princess, sweetie) - Toji and you being touch starved - implied reader is toji's partner who looks after Tsumiki and Megumi (yes, I'm feeling soft, shut up) - mention of spit.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1k

After swaddling Megumi to sleep, you slowly put him in his cradle. The year-old baby snores silently as he leaves your arms’ warmth and lies in the comforting chill of the sheets. You then move silently to tuck in Tsumiki, the toddler sleeping in her tiny bed. You kiss her forehead gently, making her smile unconsciously. After saying a hushed goodnight, you close the door.

The plan was to stay until the kids fell asleep, stopping by your boyfriend's place for a night since it's been a little while since you last saw each other. Work’s been keeping you away for a minute, and stopping by at his apartment was needed to happen before you crash out from stress. And seeing the little ones’ faces was the cherry on top, their wholesome beaming faces instantly fueling your social battery. 

After silently walking out of the hall, you enter the living room, where your boyfriend stands by the chair with your bag. You smile pleasantly, teetering your way to him. And he, Toji, smirks at you, straightening a bit when you’re close enough. “Gotta go,” you say with a whisper. “Better catch some sleep before heading back to the office tomorrow. Megumi should be out till morning, so you should sleep easy tonight.”

“Thank Christ,” he makes you giggle, hushed not to wake the children.

The silence pushes you to look at him, your heart skipping at his forest green orbs already latched onto your frame. You cough faintly before grabbing for your purse. “Need anything before I go?”

A hand grabs your wrist to pull, and Toji impersonates thinking to himself while his hands snake to your waist to draw you closer. You roll your eyes – knowing what game he’s playing – but the smile on your face doesn’t falter. He then says, “Mmm, only one thing comes to mind.”

“And what would that be?” You quirk a brow, but your expression changes once he brings his face inches closer.

“I’m still waiting’ fr’ my kiss.” His gruff tone is dialed down, but his words affect a warmth to coarse through your chest.

It’s hard to say no when Toji’s nose brushes yours, lips hovering over yours, and your eyelids closing on their own. How long has it been since you’ve been close to him like this? You can’t even remember, work corrupting you for so long that this moment feels a little surreal.

“Hmm?” He teases you with a kiss on your cheek, and you shiver at the contact. “A guy can’t get a goodnight kiss before seein’ his baby off?”

You bastard… Holding back is futile when he kisses the corner of your lips, your hands cup his face, and bring him to your lips properly. He groans, the both of you sighing as your hands wrap around his neck.

You break the kiss, knowing it isn’t sufficient for you both. Toji licks your bottom lip, and you whimper as he kisses you again, a soft noise resulting from the withdrawal. “Toji—Mmm,” scarred lips claim yours once more, this time with more hunger. “I have to go…”

Your words aren’t acknowledged, not when he chews on your bottom lip — a signal for more access. Fuck, your resolve dwindles with the insertion of his tongue, almost going weak in the knees. But before that, Toji smoothly picks you up, and the sudden shift has you yelp.

“Stay with me,” Holy shit, the way he was looking at you caused your stomach to do flips. So entranced that you don’t realize he is walking to the couch to place you down on your back, crawling above you. “I missed you. Just tonight, sweetie.”

Liar, you know he wants you here for more precisely because that’s what you wish. But, “I…I can’t, I have to go—Mmmph…!”He slammed his mouth to yours again, nibbling on your lip until his tongue was let back inside your mouth. You moan, his leg propped in between yours, bumping his knee to your groin, which has you screaming silently. “Ahhnn! Toji, not there!”

“Shhh, relax, angel,” he coos, using a hand to massage your skull affectionately. He moves his knee, and you’re practically grinding on his thigh with a chewed lip.

“I can’t stay,” you’re hushed by his lips again, and your hips move on their own. “I have to go…Ohhh.”

“You say that, but look who’s ridin’ my thigh.” His chortle is low, and your stomach does knots. Toji moves your legs so he can be nestled between them, and kissing your neck melts you under him. “C’mon, princess, ya know I can’t let you go like this.”

Your brows scrunch together at him sucking your skin, legs coming around his waist as you hump into him. Toji does the same, rocking his hips to you perilously, the groin of his sweats grinding onto your bottoms, covering your throbbing chasm. God, it felt too good to stop now, your hands roaming inside his white wifebeater to purchase. 

He kisses you again, spit covering your soft lips, and you whine as he teases and sucks on your tongue; your breath hitches while his free hand slithers down inside your bottoms, and a shaky shriek is prompted by his fingers pushing into your panties.

“That’s right,” he coaxes you between pecks, loving the way your hands scratch on him. “Gonna treat ya right t’night, angel—”

However, the fun stops once you two hear the sound of a door crying, sniffling, and cries getting louder as they approach closer. It was Tsumiki, the poor girl shedding tears through her drowsy state. 

“Miki?” You call to the toddler; Toji quietly moves off you so the little brunette can come running into your arms. “Can’t sleep, sweetie?” She nods and burrows her face into your chest. You kiss her temple, “Must’ve been a nightmare.”

Her father hums and ruffles his daughter’s hair, chuckling when she swats his hand away. Toji then leans to your ear, “I’ll get the bed ready.” A mild glare meets a naughty grin before he gets up to his bedroom, leaving you on the couch to soothe the crying child back to sleep.

So much for sleeping easy tonight…

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ✩ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— stone flower

SUMMARY : aka. part two of i believe in a thing called love. quickly attempting to find out what’s wrong with his girlfriend, dean makes a dreadful (objectively funny) discovery about what’s actually going on

PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : sam, castiel 

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), dirty thoughts/reminiscences, fluff, crack?, cas being an angel LOL

WORD COUNT : 1.9k

A/N : title from a muse song. this fills the someone is cursed square on my @jacklesversebingo card. if nothing makes sense, it’s bc I wrote this at 3AM :’)

It felt strange to you now, knowing that Dean was your boyfriend and that he had been for years. 

You felt naked beneath his gaze. 

Not entirely in a sexy way. 

He had the advantage of knowing everything about you. Naturally, that made you feel vulnerable. Part of you dreads to think of the things he knew about you, but part of you found it arousing. The way he just… seemed so hooked on you was making your heart soar like Icarus did towards the sun.

As soon as Dean realised you weren’t joking about not knowing him, he rushed you into changing more modestly, hardly giving you any time to recover from the two orgasms he pulled from you. Once you were both decently dressed, you legged it out of his bedroom, his hand in yours guiding you through a dark hallway with dozens of rooms that you were curious to explore. 

The two of you were still flushed, still physically glowing with that post-orgasmic euphoria by the time you reached Castiel in the kitchen attempting to eat a sandwich after you woke Sam from his slumber. You’d forgotten all about it until Castiel gave you and Dean an inquisitorial look.

It was embarrassing. You’d attempted to tame your hair, but you knew you were screwed, and quite literally looked like you’d been properly, thoroughly screwed by the same man you claimed not to remember.

But worst of all, your body could still feel him. 

You were still wet from your two orgasams—with his and with your own release. You could feel it dampening your underwear as Sam and Castiel spoke to Dean. You shifted uncomfortably in the library chair, the table was scattered with old books, the pages were filled with strange images of monsters and beautiful herbs.

As lovely as they looked written on the now-yellow pages, you couldn’t focus much on what Sam and Castiel were saying, not when Dean’s eyes were fixed on you. Not when your clit continued to pulse and ache alongside your sensitive pussy.

Part of you figured he was only concerned, but the way he swiped at his pillowy pink lips with his tongue whenever his eyes dropped to your lips—which made your heart flutter—told you he was also still aroused.

It was driving you nuts. 

He was so hot. 

Your heart hammered quickly in your chest and you tried to ignore the way his gaze heated your skin like the sun you couldn’t see in the “Bunker” you were trapped in. Your nipples tightened in his shirt and your pussy fluttered around nothing but the memory of once having him inside you. 

You bit your lip and tore your gaze from his to look at his brother.

You would have been more embarrassed about the state of you if Sam’s hair had been neatly hanging down his jaw, but it was dishevelled and parted in a way that didn’t seem to be his typical style. He was dressed in a black long-sleeved shirt and some blue and green plaid pyjama pants. He wasn’t even obvious about whether or not he noticed the way you looked so fucked out. 

You feared that you simply couldn’t hide it. 

But you mostly felt so alive, so electrified by Dean’s presence and how much he seemed to adore you. You felt beautiful. 

Dean’s hand blindly found yours and for once—at least since the morning when you woke up—you could tell the way your stomach fluttered was not from lust. His thumb brushed tenderly over your knuckles, he squeezed your hand gently, he did all of that subconsciously as he spoke to his brother. Your heart only slowed down because you felt safe, assured. In any other situation, you’d be stunned by his affection and your heart would leap out of your chest—but it’s as if your body still remembered him.

You only then realised how many other lovely things you must feel just being around him. Part of you missed not knowing what it was like, what he was like. You only felt, deep inside, that it must be much more intense and tender if you only remembered.  You wanted to remember it all so bad.

You tore your eyes away from Dean’s beautiful hand around yours to look at Castiel when he spoke.

“I can try to fix it,” he offered, then gazed into your eyes. His blue eyes nearly drowned you as they studied you. You thought to yourself something you don’t even remember learning from anyone: only psychopaths don’t blink. His gaze was intense, so you looked away. 

“Yeah, let’s, and then we’ll move on to the next theory if it doesn’t work, we gotta fix this, now,” Dean agreed and, once again, he squeezed your hand gently. He finally looked at you again, and while all the hunger had faded into concern, there was a lot of love in his eyes that heated your cheeks.

“We’ll fix this, Dean,” his brother reassured him. 

Dean hesitantly looked away from you to contemplate his brother. You admired him for a few moments, the curve of his plush lips turned into a frown, the line of stubbled jaw, the flutter of his beautiful lashes. Castiel’s coat rustled beside you and you felt his cold fingers on your forehead before you could turn to face him. 

Your eyes fell shut on instinct and you felt warm for a few moments before Castiel’s fingers stopped pressing against your forehead. You peeked an eye open to question Dean quietly. He looked at you expectantly, as if he were holding in a long breath, waiting for you to show a sign of something, but you were only confused. 

“Okay…?” Dean leaned forward to take both your hands from your lap. Was that supposed to do something? You regretted watching the hope fall from Dean’s pretty face, but you’d rather be properly fixed than pretend you could remember him.

“I still don’t know who you guys are,” you shrugged and looked at Castiel for answers. He squinted his eyes at you and then looked over at Dean. His mind worked quietly and quickly as he analysed you and Dean,

“The source for her loss of memory is not in her,” he revealed, then pursed his lips as he walked behind you to get to Dean. You tried to follow him as you thought of what he meant, your frown deepened, his large hand fell on Dean’s shoulder. Dean looked down at his hand, puzzled.

“What?” You and Dean asked simultaneously.

“You are the source, Dean.” You stared at Dean with wide eyes and he mirrored the expression on your face. “It feels… like a mind parasite, similar to a mind STD-”

“STD?!” You both turned to the man, bewildered.

“Not really,” he soothed your concern with the most casual expression on his face. “I said it's more of a parasite, it burrowed to your mind—and it’s attached to her now too, feeding on her memories of you to keep it alive.”

“Okay, well how the hell do we get it out of my head?” Dean exclaimed, shrugging off Castiel’s hand to get up and pace. His hands rested on his hips and he chewed on his lip. You didn’t know how to comfort him, and it frustrated you.

“That’s going to be the hard part. Parasites make you crave whatever it is it’s hungry for-”

“So, what? No sex!?” Dean instantly asked and rested his hands on the table, right beside you. 

“That’s what it is?” Castiel asked, brows furrowed in perplexity. 

“Why does it matter?” You interrupted, your entire body heated up uncomfortably with shame. Both of them looked at you. Castiel took the bait and began to think.

“Don’t tell me I need to go cold turkey on sex,” Dean mumbled mostly to himself, but you still heard him. You rolled your eyes at him half-heartedly and felt yourself smile. He relaxed visibly at the sight and returned a small smile that made you feel more confident about finding a solution.

“Can you really not stop… I don’t wanna say it…” Sam groaned with a grimace. You really could have blown hot air out of your ears from humiliation at the implication of his words about his own brother—about you. 

God, how horny were the two of you regularly? Is that why they don’t question the fucked-out state you were both in? Because they were used to it? Unbelievable. 

Sam didn’t need to verbalise what he was saying. You glanced up at Dean. He frowned and pondered for a long time, then he looked agonised at whatever he was thinking. “Come on, we gotta find something else.”

“You’re gross, Dean,” 

“I’m sure we can go a few days without… sex,” you tried to reason with him. You really just wanted your life back, all of it, if it meant remembering Dean. He gave you a look, it challenged your words. You could already feel your body react to him, the feeling of his gaze was like foreplay. You were both doomed. 

“Dean-”

“How the hell did I even get this-what, parasite?” Dean broke the spell before Sam could make a comment about it. You exhaled shakily and sank back in the chair to think deeply, trying to force your mind to seize the memories and fight the parasite. 

“Remember that witch you were being a dick to in Lafayette last week?”Sam asked after a few moments of shared silence between the four of you.

“Wha- that bitch! I knew there was something off about her!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sam got up from his chair after closing the book he was reading, smug and amused. “She’s long gone and the only thing we know can work is if we keep you far away from each other.”

“But…” Dean pouted and gazed longing at you. You looked up at him and his wide green eyes. God, you wanted to give him everything. 

“It might be the parasite making you afraid of being away from her,” Castiel offered, but Sam scoffed. Dean rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, and you frowned. Could that be true?

“Come on, he’s like that on a regular basis,” Sam argued. Today was just not your day. You sank deeper into your seat, hoping the heat wasn’t visible on your face. And if it was visible, you hoped the chair would come alive and devour you whole. Part of you was flattered. “Remember when you and her got stuck for two days in that angel trap? Dean didn’t even wait for us to get out of the car-”

“Okay, I get it!” Dean saved you from the embarrassment of events you didn’t even remember and threw his hands up. He was blushing, too, and it was so adorable. “Look, fine. I’ll do whatever I have to do for a short amount of time if it means spending the rest of my life with her—with her memory intact.”

They turned to look at you. You sat up normally in your chair and focused back on Dean. He was already making you fall in love— and hard. Somehow. You wanted that life with him and all the memories of how embarrassing the two of you are together. 

“You know, I don’t know anything about anything, so… if this is the solution, I’m in.”

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