#posting this on my side blog cuz my posts are being hidden on my main rn
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Just finished season 4 of The Umbrella Academy. Iâve been looking all through the tags on it to see if anyone else has pointed this out.
Still canât believe Iâm only seeing people talk about Lila and Five and not how they used that horrendous trope of âwe feel this powerful, magical connection between us which gives us an insatiable urge to just fuck so we will even though it literally adds nothing to the plot or storyline and we only have this urge because weâre a man and a woman and for some reason the writers think that our relationship needs to be inherently sexual then as a resultâ with Ben and Jennifer.
#posting this on my side blog cuz my posts are being hidden on my main rn#the umbrella academy#tua#tua season 4#tua s4#tua season four#tua spoilers#tua s4 spoilers#umbrella academy spoilers#Ik that thereâs actually a name for this trope#but I forgot it#ppl who follow me for my tdp content can ignore this
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I got tagged by @haleigh-sloth! đ
Why did you choose your URL?
Metty is a part of my name and whenever I get into a new series, whatever it may be, I usually type down my thoughts in the notes app on my phone. Iâve done this for years and it was what I used before I got a tumblr account. I even still use it! Not to the same extent I did before, but I still do it to organize my thoughts
I only realized after I made this account that it kind of sounds like Iâm bragging or smthg lmao. But thats not the case, no. I just type things down in my notes app a lot
Any side blogs?
Nope
How long have you been on tumblr?
Hoo boy this is kind of an unspecific question. Okay so I got an account 4 months ago. However, Iâve stalked tumblr since I was 11 or 12. So I didnât have an account back then but I have been going on tumblr most of my life. Of course now that I look back on it, it isnât the same thing as actually having a blog on here, cuz I never interacted with anybody or even any posts, but idk Iâd say it still counts. Kind of? A little bit? Technically? Idk lol
Do you have a queue tag?
Nope
Why did you start your blog in the first place?
This is actually kind of funny. As Iâve just said, Iâve been stalking tumblr for a long time, and Iâve been a fan of BNHA ever since chapter 150 (cuz thats what the latest chapter was at the time I caught up), so naturally, I stalked the BNHA fandom out of curiosity to see what people thought of it. So Iâve seen a lot of varying opinions on the series
It was literally on the same day BNHA chapter 317 came out, and I decided to actually make an account because there were so many bad takes on that chapter that I just decided to make a blog and put down my own thoughts
I canât even remember what those bad takes were lol (it was probably just fans complaining that the series is going downhill and jumping to conclusions just because of what happened in that specific chapter. as usual). But I was frustrated enough to sign up, thats for sure
ANOTHER REASON why I joined is because, throughout the years Iâve been stalking the BNHA fandom, not once did I see any posts about Izuku and Shigaraki and the potential of their relationship. Iâm aware now that there were probably some hidden blogs I hadnât come across that maybe did talk about them, but if there were, I didnât see it in the main tags and thats what annoyed me
Hate to brag, but I was thinking about The Boys since all the way back with Overhaul. And going through the tags was so lacking sometimes when nobody was talking about them. So you can imagine my reaction when that MVA chapter where Shiggy said âWhat I wanted you to say was...â happened and the fandom went NUTS over it. I was really happy to see people finally talking about them. And then that kind of died down, and I wasnât really seeing anybody speculating about their relationship. Even when War Arc came around, I thought people would talk about their interactions more (NOT in a negative âIzuku is gonna have to kill Shiggyâ way, but in a positive way), but that didnât happen until chapter 295
So yeah. Thats another reason why I joined, and itâs kinda connected to the first reason. I wanna talk about The Boys. I wanna fill the bnha tags with posts about these two. Be the change you wanna see in the fandom ig lol
Oh, and also talk about the stuff that interests me. Obviously. But the actual reasons for joining are just spite
Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
That sketch of Shiggy and Izuku is the only one we have of them being goofy, and Iâve always wanted Hori to do a sketch of them being silly. So its like nailing proof of their interactions to a front-and-center wall so everyone can see it
Why did you choose your header?
I couldnât think of any other header to have. I wanted one that looked nice, so I picked the background for Nine and Shiggyâs flower island scene
Whatâs your post with the most notes?
The Shouto joke post with the record scratch freeze frame lol
How many mutuals do you have?
6 mutuals
How many followers do you have?
182 followers
How many people do you follow?
24 people
How often do you use tumblr each day?
Oof. Quite an embarrassing amount. I try to keep off it during leak nights though, so I skip one day out of the week, if I can resist lol
Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
Nope
How do you feel about âyou need to reblog thisâ posts?
Ahh. Well, if its posts about info that could potentially help somebody, I do reblog them after doing a bit of my own research. They could help people or they couldnât but if thereâs a chance that they could, and I agree with what it says, then I reblog
If its those posts that are like âyou need to reblog this or else your dog will dieâ or smthg, then no I donât like them and I scroll past them
Do you like tag games?
Yes!
Do you like ask games?
Yes!!
Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Ahh... haleigh-sloth honestly. The reason I think that is cuz every time she reblogs one of my posts it always gets loads of notes lol
Do you have a crush on a mutual?
What is this, the bachelor? Who should I give my rose tođšđ lmao nah I donât
Tagging: @frappyflop, @zinatina, @villainsandvictimsalliance, @lastsunlight
njksdnsfd sorry for that one long answer btw. I have a whole Origin Story apparently lmao
#surprise surprise i'm a nerd what else is new#i also have the heart of a shaky chihuahua so there ya go#the reason i joined is kind of embarrassing but. what are ya gonna do ya know#lmao imagine holding a grudge over a fucking fandom#bnha fandom is hell you all test me everyday#not you tho mutuals your angels and i'm thrilled to have you here#do you like my The Bachelor joke? i've never watched it in my life but i know the rose thing#if that joke is wrong i'm gonna eat my laptop#how embarrassingđ#tag game#mettygetspersonal
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Important Asks/Interesting Theories
Beware, this post is filled with spoilers for Zemblanity! Read after youâve finished the main series, as itâs constructed so that everything makes sense in the end. But if youâre still curious or confused, hereâs the guide you need!
Be sure to look at the date of when any of the asks were posted before you send me a new one saying âbut this isnât possible because [insert reasoning here]â especially for the theories. I tried to put a âPrior toâ section for all of them but yeahhhhh just check the dates.
So these were originally individual asks on my blog but I got rather lazy to reblog and tag everything (and Iâm kind of afraid of hitting the post limit again), so Iâll just type them out here.
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Table of Contents so You Donât Have to Keep Scrolling:
Asks About Zemblanity in Case You Are Confused
Confused about the timelines?
So if TL8 Ten and TL9 Ten merged that means they have the same memories and behaviors? Thatâs why he remembered to save (Y/N)?
Does jumping from timeline to timeline affect Sector V? For all timelines is there only one Sector V?
So why are (Y/N)âs dreams a thing?
Can you explain the whole TL8 Ten getting sent back to TL9 and everything that resulted?
So why does Kunhang want to drown the system?
So is Yangyang actually in love with (Y/N) or is it just infatuation?
[Not an Ask] Regarding the Dream Sequences in Zemblanity
Interesting Theories About Zemblanity
{Prior to TWN4} Mark Lee is the True Culprit (Personal Favorite of Mine)
{Prior to TIR0} Maybe Yangyang is the best friend in Ch. 4âs dreamsâŚ
{Prior to TIR1} Maybe Xiaojun is the best friend in Ch. 4âs dreamsâŚ
{Prior to TIR2} Maybe (Y/N) and Ten coming up to the moon in 2004 was a lie?
{Prior to TIR4} Maybe (Y/N)âs dreams arenât hers and sheâs living through someone elseâs memories?
{Prior to TIR4} Hendery might have gotten into an accident that involved severe burnsâŚ
{Prior to TIR5} Xuxiâs definitely the man in Chapter 2âs dream sequences
{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun knows everything
{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun is the man in the Newtonâs Cradle dream
{Prior to TWN5} Hendery definitely has D.I.D.
{Prior to Chapter 6} The Dream Guy in Chapter 5 is Hendery
{Prior to Chapter 6} The Multiple Timeline Theory (Note that many people contributed to these so they may not be consistent)
{Prior to Chapter 7 and TWN6} The Matrix Theory
{Prior to Chapter 7âs Release} Maybe Xiaojunâs the Inmate in TIR6
{Prior to Chapter 8âs Release} The inmate from 2022 (mentioned in TIR6 and TIR8) is Ten
Special Questions
So, what happened to the 2004 Flight Records?
Who was the eighth inmate who killed himself?
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Asks About Zemblanity in case you are confused
Confused about the timelines?
Q: Hi, i hope you get this question because it's the first time I'm asking something on Tumblr (I've been here for like a month or so đ
). And I hope I don't annoy with this question or maybe someone asked this already but what about the TL6? Chapter 8 honestly got me so confused that I locked up who belongs to which Timeline and I think we got like 9? TL1-5 is Kun, Xuxi, Xiaojun, Sicheng, Hendery. TL7 is Yangyang and TL8&9 is Ten because they got merged??
A: Hi there!! Welcome to tumblr! Iâm honored to be your first ask, love â¤ď¸ Also, fear not, asks never annoy me, Iâm actually quite fond of them, because if one person is a bit confused, chances are others are too. Plus, I love to hear from my readers! No one has asked yet, so I donât mind answering your question! To break it down, the timelines are as follows:
TL1 - Kun TL2 - Xuxi TL3 - Xiaojun TL4 - Sicheng TL5 - Guanheng (Hendery/Kunhang) TL6 - Ten (inmate Ten from TL8) TL7 - Yangyang TL8 - The events prior to Zemblanity, Sector V is established, all 7 members of WayV are inmates. Ten has memories from both TL6 and TL8 TL9 - Main Zemblanity timeline. TL8 Ten is sent back in time within the Wardenâs lifespan and merges with TL9 Ten as a result, he loses his memories and starts life again from the age 8 and retains memories from TL9 Ten up to that point.
So technically Ten has been through three timelines (6, 8, 9) Good for him.
So if TL8 Ten and TL9 Ten merged that means they have the same memories and behaviors? Thatâs why he remembered to save (Y/N)?
Q:Â question questiooon hehe did tl8 ten and tl9 ten merged?? Like their memories and behavior?? Thats why he remembered to save (y/n) and yet has a different behavior?
A:Â Yeah basically.
When the Warden sent Ten back during his (the Wardenâs) lifetime, Ten ended up replacing TL9âs Ten, or merging, as you called it. Luckily due to Tenâs lack of memories of TL8 it wasnât a horrible merge, and it allowed him to grow up completely differently than he did in TL8. Iâd say that he just wanted to save (Y/N) cuz bestie things, but maybe there was a hidden subconscious feeling of âI must protect this girl with my lifeâ
I could be wrong, but I think I once mentioned how (Y/N) felt that Ten was rather overprotective of her.
Does jumping from timeline to timeline affect Sector V? For all timelines is there only one Sector V?
Q: another question hehe so jumping from timeline to timeline and changing things doesnt affect sector v?? Like for all timelines there is only 1 sector v?? As in it merges all timelines??
A: [I kind of worded this one weirdly in the original post, so let me rewrite it a little]Â
How I wrote it in my outline, verbatim, is âDue to Sector V being a locating where neither time nor reality follow their set laws, it remains independent of the other timelines, this allows people of other timelines to be able to walk amongst each other without dire consequence. Although it may sometimes pick up on rifts within the timelines closest to it.â
Amendment: So basically it is entirely possible for another to exist, as long as their timelines arenât right next to each other (as in there arenât too many major events, or even small choices that overlap or are similar within both timelines).
Amendment: But when someone, in this case Ten, who is closely linked to the Sector is purposely messing with people who are associated with it (since he was jumping into timelines the inmates were in), this causes the rifts in the Sector.
So why are (Y/N)âs dreams a thing?
Q:Â OH. so the dreams y/n got while inside the sector were caused by ten jumping thru the timelines??? i guess that would explain why the very last ones she had were of ten in that dark ass room..... but now i cant stop thinking abt how yangyang keeps trying to kill xiaojun because he probably did kill his timeline's xiaojun and now i wanna know yy's story
A: I originally answered this one prior to the story being finished, so allow me to amend this one too.
Yup yup! Our boy royally FUCKED up the timelines.
Amendment: I based this off of the old saying that Dreams are windows to other versions of ourselves, past, present, future, other dimensions, etc. Basically, Ten was trying to merge the timelines enough to get into one of these dreams to communicate with (Y/N), but by the time he succeeded he ended up ripping the fabric of time enough so that (Y/N) was able to talk to the other inmates long before she even got trapped in the Sector.
Also, since this ask spoke about the dreams, the dreams are direct reflections of that inmateâs state of mind. Do with that what you will.
Can you explain the whole TL8 Ten getting sent back to TL9 and everything that resulted?
Q: my brain hurts đ¤ so serial killer ten was sent back in time (and to another timeline?) and had his memories erased... and then he jumped thru timelines to get back to a time before y/n died.... so he can help y/n get out..... đ¤ i'll just go listen to domino on repeat call me when yall are done killing poor y/n HSNSJSJ
A: Time is such a kunfusing kuncept (đ) but thatâs pretty much it yeah. If you want the full thingâŚ
So Ten was sent back in time, however in order to keep some events of the timeline (in this case the Sector, the Station, etc.) the Warden sent him back to a time during his lifetime and due to some timey wimey bull shit this not only caused Ten to lose his memories but also caused him to become significantly younger. Hence why he and (Y/N) have memories of them being younger, because they actually did grow up together.Â
Later in the story, Ten did travel to six different timelines, all in order to establish that side effect connection that results from fucking with the timelines to get in contact with (Y/N), all of which were both unsuccessful and resulted in (Y/N) being linked to the inmates instead (hence the dreams). The original plan was for him to establish a stable connection with (Y/N) since the server in the Sector is blocked and nearly impossible to get into from the outside and tell her how to get out from there, but we all saw how that ended up đ
So why does Kunhang want to drown the system?
Q:Â âSo itâs safe to say that it is this alter who I see trying to drown the body.â IM SCREAMING- WHO IS TRYING TO DO W H A T?! OOOH. WOW. I-
A:Â The definition of a persecutor, to put it in simple terms, is a âmisguided protector.â They typically hold the more traumatic memories of the body that the other alters or the host donât. Often times the persecutors see it as itâs them against the system (in this case Kunhang against the other alters), and they see things as âoh, the abuser canât do this to me if I do it myselfâ then it gets worse from there. Often times they punish the body (and by extension the other alters) by making them relive the trauma. (Note that itâs very rare for Persecutors to take their anger out on other people, it happens, but itâs rare, often times the rage is turned against the system)
So knowing that itâs Kunhang who forces the body to drownâŚ. do with that what you may.
Amendment: In greater context of the story itâs explained in his ending that he was kidnapped and held for ransom by the rivaling kingdom and upon his return it was discovered that he developed DID while in captivity.
Of course through therapy they can be taught that what theyâre doing is wrong, which is what we see through Kunhang present day. But yeahhhhhhh
Poor Guanheng :(
So is Yangyang actually in love with (Y/N) or is it just infatuation?
Q:Â So is Yangyang actually in love with her or is it just infatuation? Ik you said you've changed it a lot but still,,, also the way the only named connections towards Yangyang are "avoid at all costs", "weirded out", and "doesn't want to die" is both scary and amusing
A:Â When I first drafted Zemblanity (yes there is a first draft that you guys will likely never see) it was pure, unabashed infatuation. In the first draft I actually planned for each inmate to have a certain type of complex (god complex, father complex, etc.) but I figured the topic was both too information loaded and delicate to write about accurately in a fanfiction (Iâm already juggling enough with the mental disorders, Iâm planning to minor in psychology so Iâve taken a few of the classes before, so I luckily have notes from there I can turn to, all I need is some brushing up) Yangyangâs complex involved him seeking the need for stability, so at the time it was indeed just pure infatuation with no feelings of actual love.
Now itâs a bit different, I canât give you the full answer for obvious reasons, but I will say he does feel genuine love for (Y/N), and so do the rest of the inmates, there are a few things attached to that genuine love though, but then again who doesnât have some strings attached. The only thing that separates love from infatuation are those extra things hanging on to the feelings, after all.
Amendment: So now that the series is over, I can explain in full detail. Basically itâs some form of guilt that Yangyang felt, which is explained in his ending. And it was also the need to get closure for how she died, a mix of both. His mental state has already been in disarray, so when (Y/N) showed up at the Sector I think itâs safe to say it wholly broke. And it became something of âI knew she was still alive.â
Also yeah thatâs what happens when youâre tipsy and story boarding at the same time, you come up with interesting character relationships lol đ
[Not an Ask] Regarding the Dream Sequences in Zemblanity
One would do well to distinguish which dream sequences happen real time and which ones happened in the past. In this case Iâll spell it out easy peasy, each dream sequence that is happening real time is linked by one deciding factor:Â Ten. Often times heâs in the background and is described as trying to tell (Y/N) something important, but she canât understand him.
Otherwise, the dream sequence happened in the past with exception of Kunâs dream sequences in Chapter 1, which happened real time.
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Interesting Theories About Zemblanity
{Prior to TWN4} Mark Lee is the True Culprit (Personal Favorite of Mine)
Theory:Â Okay so like I know we're all tossing out Zemblanity theories but like consider this: Who was the one who was in charge of all the years? Who else do we know has access to a computer? Who else is associated to (Y/N). That's right. Mark Lee.
Response:Â THE WAY I CACKLED WHEN I READ THIS
Thatâs it. Anon figured it out. I gotta rewrite all of Zemblanity now
Iâm joking of course but this is TOO FUCKING FUNNY I đđ YOU GUYS ARE SO CREATUVE
Was it Correct? As expected, no.
{Prior to TIR0} Maybe Yangyang is the best friend in Ch. 4âs dreamsâŚ
T:Â Lmaoo my theory is that YangYang was the best friend and whoever he murdered was the boyfriend of y/n. Hes severely mentally unstable so thats possibly why he is projecting the image of that person onto Xiaojun and why he hates him so much. Thats why he knows so much about y/n and why he had her locket.... he was also quite abusive to y/n. Maybe she had her memories of him erased somehow but he feels she abandoned him personally and thats why he tied her up??? Hmmm. Just a theory though
R:Â But thatâs just a theory! A Zemblanity theory! Thanks for reading!
God I hope at least some of yâall get the reference
I will say, youâre not too far off the mark, but youâre not 100% there either. đ
WIC? Not completely. They did get Yangyang being the best friend correct and that he murdered (Y/N)âs toxic boyfriend (who just happened to be Xiaojun). But thatâs about it, and I applaud you on getting that close!
{Prior to TIR1} Maybe Xiaojun is the best friend in Ch. 4âs dreamsâŚ
T: OKAY HEAR ME OUT: I think is the case as to why Xiaojun and Yang² hate each other (apart from the theories I left under chp 4). I really think that Xiaojun was actually her best friend and that he helped her out of her relationship with Yang²... and I think Yang² said "he hurt her" cause hes lowkey delusional? And psychotic so he thinks everyone's put to get him. As for Ten, he needed to be her best friend since Xiaojun is an inmate WHICH IS WHY THERES NO RECORDS OF THE DAY SHE CAME TO THE MOON
R:Â Interesting theory, but like the others, not too far off the mark, but not quite there. Also the lack of records of the day she went to the moon, thereâs a reason, but thatâs not quite the reason, ahhh thatâs confusing but itâs the only way I can say it without revealing too much.
Hint: Look back at the Wardenâs Notes, I usually drop spoilers in them on accident and I just forget to delete it
WIC? Ah, Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, youâre gonna give me a run for my money some day. You were SO close I got scared, haha. But, sadly, incorrect. Yangyang was the best friend and Xiaojun was the toxic boyfriend. As for the records part, I thought I left enough evidence for yâall to figure out, but I suppose not.
{Prior to TIR2} Maybe (Y/N) and Ten coming up to the moon in 2004 was a lie?
T: maybe y/n and ten being brought to the moon when they were very little was a lie and thats why the records for 2004 arent there 𤥠im just a simple dumbass i'll just wait until someone smarter puts together a sound theory HSNSKS ALSO ALSO ateez concepts are always so cool i đ𼺠always my faves
R: Awww but youâre plenty smart, love 𼺠the fact that you can put together even the smallest theory is amazing!!!
But I acknowledge your theory and will put it up like the rest â¤ď¸
WIC? Sadly, no. And I think I should just say it at this point and ruin the spoiler but hmm... Iâll put it at the end, how about that?
{Prior to TIR4} Maybe (Y/N)âs dreams arenât hers and sheâs living through someone elseâs memories?
T: WAIT CRYS- WAIIIIT WAIIIIIT WAIIIIT.... okay okay okay are the dreams or memories that appear in the chapters uniquely Yn's? đđđ (please donr make me feel like a clown cause đŁâđž). This is me b4 you answer my last ask BUT what if the memories arent... hers.... what if most of the inmates had girlfriends and for those who committed murder, it was linked to the s/o..? Since Kun has OCD it would explain some questionable and almost controlling behaviour towards a lover and same applies to Yang². Just a thought. A far fetched thought that doesnt make sense (not to add but if Xuxi had a lover, kidnapping would apply to the s/o or another party đ) âđž... so uh again just a thought... the memories arent... lets say consistent(?). Lkke in one of them, shes a secretary, in the other shes a teacher... okay I'm really gonna go with the theory I had. What if the dreams arent hers? Let's remember she and Ten dont have recollecting of coming to the Moon... and in that one Wardens Note Ten was shocked about info he learned at the end... I'm lost lmao. The memories arent hers, in each chapter theres a memory that may(be) include a character which is why the person is never mentioned. Another thing is that in some of the memories, she explicitly says that she has no control over what shes saying or doing which means that they happened in the past and since she has no recollection of them happening, theres a strong chance that shes experiencing it for the first time... which means that she is experiencing the dream through the original person đ¤Ą
R: I had such half assed responses to these so lets just not type those out--
WIC? No, but also a little. The concept is there, but not really. But you were on the right track with Kun and Yangyang. But this did come out before we established that multiple timelines are a thing in Zemblanity, so I liked where you were going with this one! Technically, the memories arenât hers, but at the same time they are.
{Prior to TIR4} Hendery might have gotten into an accident that involved severe burnsâŚ
T: Actually, I think Hendery got in a severe accident that involved 1st degree burns... and I read somewhere that if you get burned that you should put the wound underwater for 20 mins or waiting for paramedics (I'm waiting til you debunk this hehe) sO then baby was burned and since they in space... you know- gravity! And then since gravity is there, he needs to stay underwater so that he doesnt die cause of his burns đ¤
R:Â I mean, yes? Like medically yeah itâs best to put burns underwater as soon as you can (cold water preferably) but imagine having to stay underwater for 16 hours for a burn?I like it.HENDERY SWEETIE TOUCH THE STOVE-
WIC? Nah.
{Prior to TIR5} Xuxiâs definitely the man in Chapter 2âs dream sequences
T:Â OKAY SO LIKE- I'm positive of one of two things, the second chapter dream is (Y/n) and Xuxi cause in the interrogation room part 4, he mentioned how his wife is clumsy and that they havent been married for long and in that memory, the invisible person said how (Y/n) was clumsy and she mentioned how they were waiting to start a family which is a hint that they're married. So I'm pretty sure (watch me be wrong) that Xuxi was the invisible person in Chapter 2 illuding to yn being his wife now ----- but now wouldnt that mean that (Y/n)'s dead since she killed herself? Now listen, we all remember that theory of it being multiple versions of her being with all the inmates right? Well let's say that that theory is true, we basically have some sort of evidence illuding to that. Both versions so far of the wife/girlfriend has died and if it's all those timelines crashed together, itll make sense as to why they all know her (one way or another)... đđđ
R: Ooooh interesting, alright how about the other dreams now đ Iâm interested in this theory, That is also true, according to the basic logic of the multiple lives/timelines theory
But is it whatâs happening in Zemblanity?đ
WIC? Yup. I actually never intended for the dreams to be purposely hidden, like literally the dreams subjects are whoâs featured in the chapter HAHA but yeah. The only thing off about the theory is the last part tbh.
{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun knows everything
T:Â Okay so the girl always dies and there has to be something about her that warrants that. Xiaojun said he knows/remembers more than the other inmates so that could be what he is holding back from the warden.. Maybe he knows the reason why? Maybe he has some other information? All I know is, from what we've learned, Xiaojun really did do "what he had to do" and there has to be some other thing he did that would have warranted him going to Sector V because that can't be it.
R: Maybe so ��
But that will be revealed with time
WIC? Xiaojun does know what happened in the last timeline, so whatever he learned back there transferred over. So yeah, kind of
{Prior to Chapter 6} The Dream Guy in Chapter 5 is Hendery
T:Â the dream guy in chapter 5 is hendery cuz the dreams seem royal-ish and the guy gave me âprinceâ feels and technically henderyâs a prince so yeah. and he said his true self will be hiding behind a facade and hendery seems like he has a split personality. so basically he got his new personality by repressing memories of (y/n) (he was the only one who seem to not know (y/n) when they met). and also the way the âking/princeâ said âDonât.â (tea scenario) and hendery said âDonâtâ gave me chills
R:Â Nice catch đ Iâll admit youâre on the same path as many other readers, very good đ
WIC? Yuuup.
{Prior to Chapter 6} The Multiple Timeline Theory (Note that many people contributed to these so they may not be consistent)
T1: So like my theory is that the boys had met (y/n) in different timelines?? Like for example Kun is timeline 1, and (y/n) had died there??? â jongin smth. And theen on her next time lineâ she met lucas idk its smth like reincarnation or just like because sector v has a unique time and reality. Like they all lived in different realities but sector v connects all of those realitiesâ in which (y/n) was also in. And another theory (since best friend and boyfriend conflict goes on throughout the previous chapters) each wayv member is like the bestfriend or boyfriend of (y/n) each timelineâ like ten in this present timeline Buuuut i cant explain why yangyang is the one on 7th timeline whilst ten was currently the one (y/n) knows personally
Add on:Â I was reading anons theory and I was thinking the same thing. Because time is different In the sector that allows them to be in the same timeline. (Think ATEEZ new concept where they all knew each other but got separated, but are coming together again.) This would also explain all of the different voices that Y/N hears and how in the warden noted that Ten is starting to piece things together.
R: (½) I said this in the previous post but I actually really like this theory, itâs a very interesting take on whatâs going on. Posting this one first so it appears below the first part!! Ooooh this oneâs different from the ones Iâve read so far, I like where youâre going with this one anon, props to you for cutting from a different fabric!
Ooooh and the theory deepens, you guys are so creative I love it đĽ°
WIC? Not far off the mark, but not a bullseye.
{Prior to Chapter 8âs Release} The inmate from 2022 (mentioned in TIR6 and TIR8) is Ten
T1: So I wanted to write it in the comments but I have an idea and wanted to write "directly" (I also don't use ask option a lot so also It will be multiple part so sorry đĽşđ) I got a sudden idea while looking at the dates of the newest interrogation room and the dates of when the Inmates were brought to Sector V and... I think I got something... Kun, who was the first one to come to sector V, first came in February but the Interrogation takes place in January and a whole ass moth before it.Â
So I came to a sudden realization that there was a 7th Inmate who allegedly killed himself. And then my mind made a connection to Ten who in the MV and promotion shots was shown to have the same V tattoo as the others. Could it be that Ten was the original Inmate? It would kinda add up i think. Like there is a possibility that The Warden (our Father) was fed up with him and killed him but filed it in reports as a suicide.Â
It could be that it isn't our Ten because if my Multiverse Theory is right that would open a lot of possibilities. It could be a wierd coincidence to have two Ten's in the same Building (not that I'm complaining) so it could be less likely. But I have two versions of the theory. The second being that neither Ten or we have a recollection of how and why we were brought to the moon station. Which in on itself is pretty fishy. But to assume for a second that Ten was convinced of Murder...Â
And maybe he was tortured to the point of amnesia and/or memory loss and then tossed out of the Sector with some false memories but somewhere in his head he âremembersâ (something like deja vu) about what happened âlast timeâ and when she wants to meet the others he tries to prevent it.Â
Underneath there, somewhere in his mind he knows what he did wrong and tries to prevent it from happening again. He knows that whatever happened to us can happen again if we meet the others. Or we are all in a loop and Ten is like Sans from Undertale and knows it all and has godlike powers. Idk mate it's 1 Am in Germany and I'm basically sleeping at this point. But remember it's just a theory. A Zembalty Theory. (hopefully I wrote it right) also sorry for spamming your inbox đđĽşLove you
R:Â Yessssss, also I like this theory, more answers will be revealed soon.Â
That is true đ But if I recall correctly, I believe it was the eighth inmate that offend himself đ¤ but it is an interesting theory, Iâll give you that.Â
I have grown very fond of the multiverse theory, thereâs a lot of space for it to grow. But as for your second theory it would tie in the missing files from both 2004 and 2019 đ
WIC? Ten was, indeed, the original inmate. Also I did allude to their being a âtime loopâ of sorts in much of Xiaojunâs parts.
T2:Â Theory time hehehe The inmate from 2022 was actually Ten- and he was bargaining with (y/n)âs father (who i assumed did not die in the original timeline) for smth (like he requested Ten to go back in time since he mentioned that Ten figured out a way to travel through time) *i connected the time paradox here wherein one goes back in time so things change in the future.Â
But then Ten betrayed the previous warden and killed him (past of warden)â thats why his death is still a mysteryâ- and this leads to the current timeline where Ten becomes the warden instead of (y/n)âs father living up till 2022â and this also leads to Ten not knowing what he did on the other âfutureâ and probably not being a criminalâ (but that would also mean the deal wont happen right? Idk anymore)
and probably the old warden requested him to go back to 2004??? âAs long as you refrain from killing anyone else, you should be fine, Iâm sure youâll remember at least that much.â Also take note of thisâ its like if Ten* refrains from killinganyone else from the past then heâll remember atleast some parts of their deal when the future changes
So ye this is me trying to understand the masterpiece called Zemblanity. Kudos to you for making my brain active during quarantine đĽ°
oof i forgot a detail â- thats why Ten (as (y/n)âs bestfriend and warden) doubts if he could even trust himselfâ and why his populace records is a mystery to (y/n) Anyways thank you for taking your time to read these! đĽ°âşď¸
R:Â Now this is a theory I enjoy! Very well thought out, but I must say, although it hasnât been explicitly stated I assume is implicitly understood, the Warden has some control over the timelines considering that each inmate is, theoretically, from a different timeline. For Ten to be able to do it, assuming he is the unknown inmate, he would have to have already gained the status of Warden, which is impossible considering that the old Warden is still alive.
Ah yes, a classic time paradox, we certainly love those, donât we? If only we were at that part in Zemblanity where the rules of Time were strictly laid out, but alas, we are not. So for now we will settle for this paradox that if Ten was thrown back in time and killed the Warden, the conversation will never have taken place, and Ten would have never, theoretically, been sent back in time.But then again if the Warden wasnât killed and the conversation did take place, that would establish an entire time loop, wouldnât it? Just Ten constantly going back to 2004 and reliving everything only to be sent back again, and again, I wonder what needs to be done differently, hmmâŚ
This is a possibility, and I was going to mention it in the (2) of this ask, but I actually found that it would make more sense to put it in here. If Ten was, theoretically, sent back in time, how would you explain (Y/N) and Ten having memories of when they were toddlers? Assuming youâre intending that if Ten was sent back in time heâd still be a full age adult.
Itâs no problem, Iâm trying my best to keep your minds sharp while we all spend our days in our homes hehe⌠Ohhh and thank you! Iâm so glad you enjoy my little (okay actually huge) story of Zemblanity!!!
This is a theory I like a lot, I can tell you put a lot of thought into it! But it would explain why there are some lapses in Tenâs judgment as to who he can trust, and it would also explain why (Y/N) had to search up Tenâs name in her Records database
WIC? Actually, this is probably the closest one to the truth anyone has ever gotten. Props to you, anon!
T3: Did they agree to have Ten stay out of it so he was there to protect YN since none of them could do it cause they clingy af and would of started a war and killed each other đđ and cause they mental health is deteriorating more and more in the Sector they willing to throw Ten out the way to get her back đ¤đ¤đ¤
AAAAAAALSO!!!!! Rereading the Warden Notes, there was mentioned of 8 inmates but the 8th killed himself so it was decided to be maxed out at 7.......who be the 7th inmate..... I swear tf if I'm right about Ten imma be needing at least 4 bottles of wine to cope, however if I'm wrong! I'm still gonna need them đ (I'm so sorry, these were all EUREKA moments.....i didn't mean to spam)
R: Ooh I like this one, but I do have to say why Ten? But if this is true, Iâd argue that either Kun or Hendery couldâve done it too, Kunâs a patient character and Henderyâs pretty chill. Plus according to the story line Ten and (Y/N) came when they were toddlers and both have memories of such, hmmâŚ. đ¤
FOUR BOTTLES AHAHAHAHA. Also noooo I donât mind spam at all, love, so donât worry â¤ď¸ But yes I do acknowledge that I wrote that the Sector is maxed out at 7 but I will also say that it doesnât necessarily mean that there were seven at the start of the story đ
WIC? Sadly, no :(
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Special Questions
So... what happened to the 2004 Flight Records?
To put it simply, the Warden (Park Hyunjun) destroyed them. The Sector works in strange ways, as seen when the tapes from TL8 transferred over to TL9 for (Y/N) to see them. This is a special power of the Warden, the ability to allow items to transcend different timelines, which is only possible in Sector V (due to itâs independence of most of the rules of time). During his final negotiation with TL8 Ten, prior to sending him back in time to prevent the total destruction of the moon colony, he implies that heâd leave everything in place for the paradox item to find itâs way to Ten, and heâd keep him under watch.
However, Ten didnât come to the moon in 2004. Now this is on me, I never explicitly said it, only left clues for it to be found. The records were damaged, but why? Every inmate has access to the Records room, but none have an incentive to destroy it, except for the one person it would apply to, in this case Ten. The Warden is implied to have special abilities in the Moon Colony, usually to prioritize the greater good of the Colony (i.e. calling the shots for executions, destroying cards, withholding evidence, etc.)
Now, TL9 Ten couldnât have destroyed the records, why would he? But, Iâve mentioned on occassion that Ten was âalways at war with himselfâ and, I quote from Ch. 1, âSometimes [he has] to remind [himself] that [heâs] the Warden.â
There isnât significant evidence that Ten wasnât on that flight, but on the other hand there isnât evidence that he was. All we have to go off of is the damaged flight records and what the Warden said in his tapes prior to being killed.
Do with that what you may.
Who was the eighth inmate who killed himself?
Sadly, no one actually important to the main story. He was just there so I can establish why there were only six inmates in the Sector at the beginning of Zemblanity, and why Ten was able to get convicted in there after the fact.
What about 2019â˛s records?
That was just a way to throw you all off, haha, it seemed like it worked. I never said that there werenât any 2019 records, they were just tampered with and Mark had to reenter them, and Iâve long established that their Supervisor tends to make them work more since heâs that shitty a person.
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Setting up a side blog at @bigskywritings to have a place to put all my original work, commissioned work, and commissioning guidelines for both fanfic and original work, as well as other services offered like developmental edits, etc.
Thatâs why Iâm going through so many old files, lol. Probably gonna be a lot of posting going on over on that one today. Got a lot to go through, and not to be dramatic on main, but thereâve been enough points over the past several years where I didnât think Iâd ever get a chance to actually do anything with any of this, that tbh, Iâd rather just have it out there in some form that can actually be enjoyed by people rather than just sitting in my files. Iâve always been heavy on the world-building, with that usually being considered one of my strengths, that Iâve got a ton of settings that could work for any number of short stories that wouldnât take anything away from the longer novels or projects I have going for them.Â
*Shrugs* Or maybe theyâll just sit there like they do in my files, lol, its honestly not a big deal either way, its just Iâd rather err on the side of potential interest these days.
Hereâs a snippet set in one of my primary shared universes, something I call the Citadel âverse. Basic premise is its a fantasy universe where the universe itself is sentient, but more of a raw, primal sentience than having a fully formed consciousness. But it derives and evolves its own consciousness from the presence of sentient beings, after the first ones evolved on their own without design, and so it knows it wants to be more than it is, but the only way to do that is through sentient beings. So long ago, it shaped the focal point of its power and consciousness into something that would be seen as embodying power to anyone who saw it, and thus the Citadel was made. The Citadel is the universe, the universe is the Citadel. Its all the power of creation, of godhood, contained in one place....but just lacking the will and the imagination to make use of it on its own. For that it needs people, and those people are whomever end up within the walls of the Citadel, claiming the various Rooms and the forces each embody for their own, and in doing so, becoming gods.
But entropy is the natural state of all universes and the one thing the Citadel canât abide is stagnation, so whenever a god or gods becomes bored or content with whatever theyâve done with that power, whenever they stop creating, changing, manipulating, and just sit back and rest on the fruits of what theyâve already done, the Citadel takes back its power and begins a new cycle of someone new coming across it or seeking it out, and becoming the next god or gods. Some cycles thereâs only one occupant of the Citadel, sometimes two or three, sometimes entire pantheons of gods each with their own Room or Rooms, it varies. The last cycle of importance only had one god, and upon his death, the entire First World erupted into war and chaos as people vied to find the Citadel and claim its power.Â
Many Rooms were claimed by people whose first acts of godhood were to attempt to seize as many more for themselves as they could, and the whole world was being torn apart and in danger of being destroyed.....so when one of their number, Seshan, finally seized control of the Throne Room, the ultimate seat of power within the Citadel, she sealed each of the other new gods in the Rooms theyâd already claimed, and split the Citadel and cast its various pieces to the edges of the universe, where reality was still shapeless and unformed. The exiled gods used this to form new worlds of their own making, via the power of their individual Rooms. And thus their war has continued throughout the eons, as they continue to try and seize control of more and more Rooms and consolidate enough of the Citadelâs power that they can finally force open the doors Seshan locked behind them and challenge her for the Throne Room itself.
(Just FYI, before anyone asks if Iâve read Brandon Sanderson, the answer is yes, Iâve read some of his earlier stuff. This universe was in no way influenced by his work, as I started building this setting back in high school, lol. What I think IS likely is that we were probably both inspired by the same works. I was a big fan of the multi-world nature of The Deathgate Cycle, and I really liked the shared multi-verse setting Michael Moorcock uses for his various protagonists like Elric and Corum, and those and more are pretty clear inspirations, lol. Like....I donât have an issue with being accused of ripping off someone else, I just want to be accused of ripping off the right people, the people Iâm actually ripping off of, loooool).
This particular world, the setting for the snippet below, is one of the worlds created by Pelk the Harper, the god of music (among other things). One of his claimed Rooms is what amounts to a concert hall, and its hidden away on this world, the one he formed from it before moving on to make new worlds. A wide range of cultures and religions formed in his absence, but a common concept many of them circle back to is the idea that all of creation has two parts, existing as both a Shape and a Sound. Some have different names for this, some call it the Shape and the Voice or the Shape and the Song, or Form and Function or Substance and Speech, its defined differently in various parts of the world, but all ultimately contain the idea that thereâs a physical component to existence, and a non-physical.
A small percentage of people on this world, usually called something like unbinders, have the ability to find the thread that binds the physical and non-physical aspects of a thing together, and temporarily unweave it, leaving two separated parts. The Shape, which exists unbound as an image without substance, a seeming illusion that has no mass, sound, scent, etc....and the Song, which exists unbound as the essence of a thing, but without form to concentrate it and define it. Once created, its the nature of a created thing to exist as a complete whole, and so being Unbound is an imperfect state of existence. Meaning as soon as an unbinder stops concentrating on keeping the two halves apart, theyâll snap back together and rejoin the way theyâre supposed to.
Except centuries ago, people invented devices called mirrorflasks and echo-catchers.....to catch and contain these separated halves of an unbound thing, and keep them separated. Mirrorflasks are glass vials of any size, whose interiors are coated with an alchemical mixture that acts as a mirror that keeps a Shape eternally reflected and never fading, as long as the flask is corked. Echo-catchers are metallic vials whose interiors are coated with a similar mixture, that keeps a Sound or Song eternally echoing and never fading, as long as the stopper is in place. An unbinder is necessary to separate the two halves so they can be caught and contained, but after that, anyone can uncork the containers, the effect is the same no matter the person: the Shape and Sound will immediately rejoin, no matter how physically distant the mirrorflask and echo-catcher are from each other.Â
Thatâs irrelevant, the important part is that both flask and catcher need to be opened, and so theyâre fairly useless except in pairs. If you uncork a mirrorflask but not its accompanying echo-catcher, the Shape or image of the thing will be released, just as if you uncork the catcher but not the flask, its Sound will escape as a formless thing that briefly can be heard or smelled or even felt, before its lack of a Shape leads it to spread out in all directions without boundaries, diluting it to the point of non-existence then.
So a fire thatâs unbound and contained, will just be the illusion of flames if just its flask is opened, while if just the echo-catcher is uncorked, thereâd be the sound of flames, the sensation of heat, but itâd be there and gone in a matter of moments. Anything can be unbound and contained, physical objects like weapons or forces like fires or even storms (the trick of unbinding is seeing something as a whole thing unto itself. An unbinder who sees a storm as disparate elements will never be able to unbind the whole storm, just pieces of it like a lightning bolt. But one who sees the storm as one singular thing can unbind that whole storm and store it in a flask and catcher.) Even animals can be unbound. The only thing that canât is human beings, but with one exception....unbinders canât unbind anyone else, but they can unbind themselves. Separate themselves into a bodiless voice and essence as well as a substanceless image...a kind of astral projection thatâs exceedingly rare as its viewed as extremely reckless and dangerous....because while in that state, even an unbinder can be trapped in a mirrorflask and echo-catcher, the same as anything else.
Anyway, thatâs the scoop on the below snippet. Gonna try and be better about tagging things on the sideblog because yay organization, lol, so the tag for things Citadel related will be âtales of the Citadelâ and specific to this setting will be âThe Chaos Vault.â
(Thatâs the title to the bigger project linked to this setting. There are legends on this world of a vault that was hidden away or lost centuries ago, but in it was stored all the greatest natural disasters and cataclysmic forces that had ever been unbound. Unbinding things like that is basically a lost art, as older civilizations could do things with unbinding that âmodernâ inhabitants of this world canât even dream of....as the more scientifically advanced they became, the harder it was for them to see major cumulative things like storms and other disasters as just being one single thing that could be unbound, rather than a lot of smaller, individual elements. So thereâs lots of legends about something called the Chaos Vault existing somewhere. Which eventually culminates in a high fantasy heist caper FTW).
Snippet from The Chaos Vault, in which Miya kills people cuz thatâs kinda her thing:
Choosing a spot a few steps from the door that separated the kitchen from the hall - close enough to get a clear view of the servers coming and going from it, far enough away for her to time things just right - Miya braced herself against the far wall, leaning as if she needed its support to keep her upright. Less than a minute later, a server emerged from the kitchen bearing a full tray of dishes, and she straightened and pivoted just as he came within reach.
Her seemingly wine-drunk stumble was nothing short of artful, if she did say so herself, and their collision tipped the manâs tray just enough that the outermost dishes cascaded to the red-tiled floor. The sounds of shattering dishware echoed loudly thanks to the vaulted ceiling overhead. The shattering of a small mirrorflask was a trivial thing in comparison, when she let it fall from her clenched fist. A minor tinkling easily lost in the chaos sheâd caused, just as the sound of broken dishes was drowned out by the much louder revels taking place down the hall.
And much like the shards of the broken flask were effectively camouflaged by the mess on the floor.
âOh, Shape and Song, Iâm so clumsy!â She bubbled exaggerated apologies at the man and clung to his shoulder, keeping his attention firmly on her and away from the red and black banded firesnake that slithered rapidly away from the noise. It reached the escape offered by the ballroom at the end of the hall, and vanished into the forest of dancing legs and swirling skirts.
âIts quite alright,â he assured while attempting to be graceful about dislodging her. It most assuredly was not, if the grimace he couldnât quite hide was anything to go by. Then again, Miya mused, anyone likely to give him grief about the matter would be concerned with far greater things in a few moments.
But only if she made sure her little friend got his Voice back before he was spotted by the revelers. With no physical mass to trip over and coloring fairly well disguised against the tile, she had some time, but not much.Â
Miya heaved herself off her unknowing accomplice, and with a few more incomprehensible mutterings, she staggered toward the other end of the hall. Making use of the wall once again, both for âsupportâ and her charade, she came to a rest near a window left open so the heated air from the kitchen wouldnât circulate.Â
She dipped her head and unclasped her right earring. Its intricate array of tiny chiming windpipes, while annoying, hid the equally tiny echo-catcher among them. With a single smooth motion deftly hidden by her hunched stance, she uncorked it and tossed both vial and earring out the window and into the canal below, glad to be rid of both.
A Song once released needs no direction to find its other half, and rejoining its Shape and binding itself back together took but an instant. It would only take a few seconds more for it to be drawn to the scented-oil sheâd dabbed her targetâs sleeve with when brushing up against him earlier. With that thought, Miya pushed herself off the wall and started down the hall again, this time at a much quicker pace.
3âŚ2âŚ1âŚ
A single scream cut through all other noise and carried horrified silence in its wake.
There we go.
And then it was the silence that was shattered. People spilled out of the kitchen and into the hallway like so many confused and frantic ants. But ones with their eyes all drawn towards the ballroom, leaving nothing but backsides watching her. Her steps straightened and took back their usual confidence, her stride made short work of the rest of the hallway, and she vanished through a side-door at the end of it before anyone thought to look around.
She skipped as sprightly down the steps to the garden as her garments would allow - which is to say, not very - and reached behind her head to release her hair from that ridiculous style. Mussing it just enough to let it flow freely down her back, she sank deeper into the nightâs shadows and allowed a smile of satisfaction to curve her lips.
Surely there was nothing wrong with taking a little pride in oneâs work.
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hello iâm sorry to bother you but iâm in the process of writing my first harringtove fic and i was wondering if you have any tips on writing for Billy or Steve? especially Billy? if not thank you anyways and i love your work!!
hi hello im so sorry im answering only now! u see im not very active lately cuz my health isnt very good lately:(Â im so happy what u writing ur first harringrove fic u go baby!!! good luck and looots of inspo AND time to write for u hehe. and that's so cute what u asking me who aren't a very cool writer?? like?! wow u sweet thing!
Billy is honestly hard guy to write for me too, because u know he is just FULL of rage and fire and its one of many things i dont rly have in me! but it makes it even more fun to write him. im trying to keep his canon traits in mind when i write him, like:
he is actually very sensitive. he feels a LOT, cries like a crybaby. he is one of that fuckboys who post dumb sad boy memes. Very sensitive, very emotional
he ALWAYS naturally fills all free space to himself, he dominates it. its probably comes from his home life situation where he has to walk on the eggshells, but its still not a forced thing-he does it when he is relaxed, too. It's his natural trait. He is kinda like a big cat, or a lion pride male, he spreads his shoulders, he has a wide posture, he puts his arms on every free surface around him, he plants his feet wide. (and that's why im think he's a big spoon heh)
manipulative, charming, dangerous, good at getting information and good in observing things
literally a peacock. Sometimes reminds me of Johnny Bravo with his ways to flirt ghjkwj. Flexes his muscules, stands in a dramatic pose, pretties up himself with male jewelry, makes bedroom eyes, lowers his voice.......
a rollercoaster of a person-one second he is chill and calm, another second he is ANGRY and u never know what will make him mad and what will make him amused
Gross and nasty boy who isn't very hygienic
he is a secret romantic because that's how Dacre apparently sees him. fuckboy on the streets prince charming on the sheets!
insecure about himself but makes sure what no one will see it
very tactile, with both humans (like how he grabs Max when he's mad, on how is he CONSTANTLY touching-grinding-pushing Steve) and objects (how he plays with his zippo, how he puts hands on his car)
power-thirsty (bAnNED foR LIFE) and dominant person. He enjoys power so much like he is high on it. He is pushy even when he flirts, he is just very aries, u know?
ENERGETIC! he has too much energy!!! YET can be bored to death and really indifferent
mommy issues
im think its also important to remember what Dacre had his favorite headcanon about Billy having a God Complex and this is why Billy carries himself around with such confidence. He is religious, but like...in a strange strange way...
Very strong mentally, strong and brave even when is scared a lot. Stubborn also!
SECRETLY SUPER PROTECTIVE
He loveeees attention. u know he does.
 wow dis went long. i also realized what i dont write much meta on Billy in my blog, considering the fact i always seek hidden stuff for Steve and analyze him a lots. im think its cuz fandom dont rly writes much for Steve so i have to concentrate on him usually!! okay and for Steve, i also have these main traits what helps me to write him:
ANXIOUS! im think he has big anxiety issues, and even social anxiety. panics a lot and yells a lot and sometimes can act paranoid
he is charming. he is cute, and he is pretty in that soft but boyish way and he knows it, and he uses it when he wants to get something. which is kinda manipulative too but like...cute manipulative..
a Brat (big pout is his super attack), dramatic
Funny!!! Loves to joke. Jokes a lot in all of the situations-when he is in danger, when he is flirting, when he tries to comfort someone, he just always tries to be this positive joking guy
he is Bossy, but he also kind of a Pushover (because cmon, all his crushes is girls who can beat his ass and all his best friends-Tommy and Dustin-are a lot more active and pushy and Steve just goes along with it)
Daddy Issues (did u ever thought about how much he says about his dad being a jerk?)
big softie, hates conflicts, hates fights, hates confrontations, the coziest and lovey-dovey moment are the happiest he is. he just wanna hold hands and make love and maybe eat something yummy and call it a good day
yet he can be a really mean bitch, st1 Steve is SO Regina George. King Steve and King Billy is a very different types of popular jocks, because while Billys is an alpha dog aggressive active bully, Steve was more of a queen bee, idk? like its Tommy who was his muscle tank, Steve usually just stayed on the side and pouted/had that mean girl smile
does then thinksÂ
PROTECTIVE!!!!!!!!! VERY!!!!!!!!!
insecure and self-deprecating. thinks he is dumb:(Â
he is playful, kind of immature, kind of lazy. Childish a bit, Joe himself said what Dustin is even more mature than Steve in some ways. and with that also comes some pureness, and even the way he trusts people who gonna let him down is how kids trust to peopleÂ
okay so!! i really really hope its gonna help u, even if a little bit! im sure ur writing gonna be really lovely
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I was wondering if u can do a bunch of random facts/headcannons for the main cast?
Oh man, I mean, Iâm happy to try, but Iâm not sure where to start for the entire cast of 10⌠well, now 11 gods. I know have some that are scattered around the blogâs tags, and also in places other than tumblr, but Itâll take me a bit to find them or think of new ones without revealing spoilers, hmmâŚ
So hereâs what Iâll try thatâs similar to the 1 Like 1 Fact meme I did on twitter a while ago: for every note this post receives, Iâll add a DEITIES-related headcanon or fact about the main cast. The main cast includes Set, Horus, Anubis, Osiris, Isis, Nephthys, Bastet, Sekhmet, Thoth, Ra, and nowwwww Sobek â and maybe the Set Spawn and the big bad serpent too, if relevant. You can add a note by +liking this post, and if youâre interested in learning about a particular deity, you can mention their name in a comment (and itâs not necessary to reblog this, unless you want to!).
This should help give me a bit more focus and time to think of some decent non-spoiler headcanons/facts to share. Iâll come back to this post in a few hours and add any many as I can, depending on the amount of notes it receives, and Iâll bump and place them under the cut for easy access. So yeah, go for it /o/!!
[1] Been playing with a headcanon where Horusâs Eye can see an objectâs or personâs weak spots â though only for like, a moment once itâs activated, cuz Iâve wanted to avoid him being OP (but then again⌠heâs a literal god⌠so >>)
Also a related-headcanon where he can see a personâs past injuries thru his Eye too, including the hidden ones that have long-ago healed and left no visible scar. Iâd like to draw the ones he âseesâ on others one day if I keep itâŚ
[2] Set is the only one of his siblings that doesnât have an avian sacred animal, and for a while I wanted to keep it that way and literally keep him âgroundedâ compared to his family (sans Anubis). But I found that heâs sometimes also associated with crows (and falcons??? interestingly enough), and even though I havenât found solid evidence of this yet, I also like the idea of him being associated with bats even before I read about it in Kane Chronicles I swearâ So those 2-3 animals are probably some alternate animal form that he has but just rarely takes.
[3] Actually while Iâm at itâ aside from the Sha Animal, hereâs a list of 30-ish animals that I keep as Setâs canon forms in DEITIES verse (based on a combination of historical speculation, recorded myths, and personal headcanons), and would love to eventually draw him as one day:
Aardvark, African Wild Ass (and Donkey), Giant Anteater, Baboon, Bat, Boar/Pig, Bull, Camel, Crocodile, Crow/Raven, Dog (some sort of sighthound?), Fennec Fox, Fish (Eel?), Gazelle/Antelope, Giraffe, Goat, Goose, Hare/Rabbit, Hippopotamus, [Spotted] Hyena, Jackal, Jerboa, Okapi, Oryx, Panther, Rat, Scorpion, Shark, Snake (Viper), and Zebra/Quagga.
[4] RELATEDLY⌠I REALLY REALLY like the idea of Set somehow acquiring a Thylacine form even tho itâs in no realistic way in the current timeline because thylacines werenât native to Africa let alone Egypt. BUT⌠I JUST⌠THEY REMIND ME OF SHA ANIMALS SO MUCH o)âââ
[5] When I was considering the color schemes for the main cast, I once briefly envisioned a purple/violet scheme for Nephthys, but decided to scrap it because (1) I wanted her colors to contrast with her sisterâs and match a bit more with her husbandâs and sonâs and (2) I found that purple was nigh impossible to find in AE wall art and admittedly worried âmaybe it wonât look authentic if I use those colors;;;â
Even though Iâm happy with her orange/black/red scheme now, Iâve recently found that purple is a common association / kemetic UPG (or doxa?) with her?? SO THAT WAS INTERESTING⌠I donât think Iâll change her color scheme for DEITIES, but maybe Iâll draw her in an alternate purple outfit one day to see how it looks on her >>
[6] One of the reasons why I like Horus, Anubis, and Bastet as their own casual friend group in DEITIES verse is that, because theyâre all relatively young gods, they all share the experience/pressure of being measured up against their older royal relatives â Horus being seen as both his father and motherâs legacy and feeling the pressure to restore his familyâs throne; Anubis being know for his infamous father, and even having his paternity questioned (via rumors and âmythsâ); and Bastet being the youngest of Raâs daughter, sometimes being compared to her sisterâs roles and achievements.
Theyâre all really good at masking any pressure they feel, but they also probably confide in each other about it more than with others, cuz theyâve all âbeen there.â
[7] Relatedly, one of the earliest version of DEITIES Project, before it was known as âDeities Project,â had Horus, Anubis, and Bastet as the main trio. Thatâs been changed âfor reasonsâ since then, and their characters were quite different back then, but it might be fun to explore a story that focused on the 3 of them someday.
[8] Okay yaâll know the part during The Contendings where Horus and Set are racing in stone boats and Horus âwinsâ by painting his wooden boat to look like stone? I have ideas for how that entire race happens in DEITIES verse that would be fun to explore as a side story, but in order for me to give Horus a âlegitâ way to win without outright cheating, he covers his boat with stone casing/accents, and after he wins and is confronted about it⌠wellâŚ
HORUS: âThe rules we agreed on were to sail a boat made with stone. They said nothing about it needing to be made entirely out of stone.âSET: ââŚâHORUS: â :)c âSET: ââŚâ *Internally raging*
[9] Iâve headcanonâd that Nephthys has her own set of ~7 Shabti who act as her personal assistants while sheâs conducting her nightly duties, or working around her home, but I havenât decided much more past that (still debating on how she acquired them, and if she more-than-likely named themâŚ).
The concept and number were loosely based on how many of the other goddesses had their own sets of 7 as extensions of their power and/or control (7 Ribbons of Hathor, 7 Arrows of Sekhmet, Isisâs 7 Scorpions), and I thought itâd be neat if the Goddess of Service had her own Shabti that exemplified that part of her domain.
[10] Thoth is an avid lover of puzzles, trivia, and strategy games, and heâs also exceptionally skilled at games of chance. He doesnât gamble or make bets often because he understands the risks, but when he does he tries to be calculative about it⌠and also has a natural knack for luck going his way (EX: That one game of senet that he won to help assist Nut with having her children⌠which is another story for another day)
[11] Ummmmm Isis is the only one of the main cast who I havenât drawn a ref of her sacred animal form yet⌠or at least, not digitally. Her animal is the kite, but Iâve been debating on a while for what species to base her design on. I like the idea of her kite form looking like the Black-winged Kite, although those species arenât native to Egypt⌠but some are native to Africa⌠and theyâre so fricken pretty and they fit her colors so well so I might cave on this ffffffffffffâ
[12] While weâre on the subject of sacred animals (and to help me get somewhat closer to the note count lmao Iâm trying guysâ), Horusâs falcon form is based on both the Peregrine falcon and the Lanner falcon, with more simplified markings for my own sanity when I draw him in dozens of panels.
At one point, I considered making his falcon form leucistic to contrast more with Anubis and Set, buuuuuut I also liked the brown colors on the falconsâ normal coloration, so I kept it. (That and more leucistic birds of prey are hawks, so⌠maybe for Khonsu tho if I donât change him to an owl, hmmmmâŚ)
[13] Okay continuing thoughts on animal forms, Bastet is able to shift her cat form into nearly any coloration or breed she desires (aside from her eyes, which remain green), but for the purposes of DEITIES I draw her as a brown cat with light gradation markings. I knew of the Egyptian Mau but also realized the spots would take a lot of effort to redraw in the panels where she appears as a cat (much like the spots on falcons for Horus). I also personally really like solid-colored coats on cats, and in particular I liked the coloration of the Havana Brown, so it may be a little less authentic but it did factor into her colors as well.
[14] I'm still debating on Sekhmet's main hairstyle and want to play with it a bit more -- not the arrangement per se but whether to keep it as locks or to make them more obvious twists -- or perhaps a combination -- since I can see her with both style at certain points in time. Either way, at full length Sekhmet's hair is very long: if she were to loosen her tie and let it fall, her longest locks would reach past her hips.
[15] I initially gave Set yellow eyes because even though he's often depicted with red eyes, I didn't want to over saturate his design with just... well, red -- especially in his animal form where his entire body is covered in red fur (red eyes + red sclera would have been, a lot). I like how his yellow eyes provide some contrast, and I've since found some story-related reasons where his eyes might play some role in the plot⌠but anything further might be spoilery 8')c
[16] It took me a while to settle on Osiris's "resurrected" skin tone because there were a lot of sources that describe his skin as being green, or blue, or black in coloration. I even tried them out in an earlier color test that I shared on patreon, but I eventually went with black since the color has had various meanings in Ancient Egypt that include both life and death. (It also gave me some opportunity to give green skin to Ptah and blue skin to Hapi to help vary the designs for each of those gods).
[17] Relatedly, Osiris's mortal form is a naturally dark skin tone, but following this death he can no longer appear in that form. He is also unable to travel to the overworld / realm of the living, though I'm still debating on how restrictive this is (if it's limited to his physical body or if he can split his soul under special circumstances, or with assistance). Regardless, most of his correspondence with other deities have to be arranged within Duat for this reason.
[18] I haven't made any plans to designate a spouse or romantic partner for Ra. I understand that there were a number of goddesses that were associated with him in the myths and often said to be his wife, but for that reason it was hard to settle on choosing one -- or multiple, and I realized that for the purpose of the main story it might not be necessary. I also kinda like exploring the idea of this high king and powerful creator deity who's also a happily single father, and where it's not for tragic reasons like the separation from or death of his spouse (not to knock that trope at all tho sdjfdsf). I'm not opposed to him being shipped with anyone though, I just don't think I've been inclined to do it myself lmAO;;
[19] RELATEDLY, while Ra's daughters (Sekhmet, Mafdet, Hathor, Serqet, Bastet) don't have a biological mother, I like to think that they were raised in an environment with a lot of parental figures and mentors to go around, aside from just their father. I haven't quite settled on how it was organized though, but I know that the daughters regard Thoth as something of an uncle/secondary dad (tho their dynamic with Thoth is can vary a lot from the one the have with Ra), as well as their teacher and mentor. I can also see where other gods like Khnum, Khepri, and Bes, and goddesses like Neith, Seshat, Taweret, Ma'at, and Mut, might also have played some direct mentor role in the daughters' upbringing and sense of self.
[20] (squick + implied nsfw) I uh⌠have this minor gag headcanon where Horus, Isis, and Osiris just don't eat fish. They just⌠don't. And it's entirely based on that one part of the myths after Osiris's death, where a certain part of Osiris's desecrated body ended up in the river and was swallowed by a fish 8')c (should be noted that I'm not saying that event did happened in DEITIES canon, but I'm also not disputing it either >>).
Apparently that was considered a bad omen, and I still find conflicting information on whether consumption of fish was taboo for some or all in Ancient Egypt (I think "for some" makes better sense, cuz why would an entire society that resides near the Nile river pass up on a perfectly available food source?? But I digress, I might need to review this again so take my thoughts with a grain of salt--). I also admit that I've seen it mentioned that fish are not ideal food offerings for Isis and Osiris?? and I can imagine that maybe Horus adopts the distaste for them as well. Either way, I go with the DEITIES canon that while most people and deities happily consume fish, Horus and his parents will not, and they don't enjoy it as offerings either.
IâMMMMMM gonna end it here for now cuz my headcanons have run dry for the time being, thank you guys!!
#// I'M SRSLY JUST blanking on new facts right now o)-----< but I wanna give this a try later after I make dinner in a bit#// I will⌠also see if I can make a tag for the headcanon-type replies since it seems that people are interested in them!#DEITIES asks#general asks#meme#Horus#Set#Anubis#Bastet#Nephthys#Ra#Thoth#Isis#Osiris#Sekhmet#headcanons
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Prompt 112: "Why are you bleeding?"
I was asked on my main blog to do some prompts by @sofia-altinâ (thanks, yo! Hope you like it!), and I had actually made this writing blog weeks ago. I just havenât had anything finished enough that Iâd want to post â until now. And damn, does Tumblr ruin my formatting. Ngl, I donât even wanna mess with it, itâs 3:00AM lol Iâll be posting other short fics in the future! Stay tuned, yâall.
Summary: Otabekâs trying to finish up his new mix for his next DJ venue when Yuri comes to his hotel after a scuffle thatâs left him a little roughed up and mostly just wanting to be alone with his favorite person.
Clicking a few things on his laptop, Otabek put his headphones on and leaned back against a stack of pillows. His new mix had to be finished by tomorrow. He had a gig set up for him late at night he was going to DJ at. Itâd been a while since heâd done any shows, and he was a little nervous. But at least he was comfy.
Hotel beds always somehow felt better than Otabekâs bed at home. Something about how plush everything was â the way his head sunk into the airy pillows, the way the sheets felt light and cozy, the way he could feel himself fully relax into the mattress. Yeah, that was much better than his bed at home. Not to mention, the hotel was quieter. But sometimes he did miss the bustle of his family. Traveling around for the season had its ups and downs, and missing his sister was always what got him the most.
Otabek shut his eyes, turning the volume up with the little button on the side of his headphones. He had to make sure this was perfect. People were gonna be dancing to this at the club.
Buzz.
Flinching, he opened his eyes. A text? Now? It could wait.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz.
He sat up, pausing the track and then digging into his pocket for his phone. He wouldnât be able to focus with it vibrating against his thigh. Scattered among some Snapchat and Instagram notifications were texts from Yuri. It was the night before a competition. There was no way he was nervous. Yuri Plisetsky doesnât get nervous. The guyâs even said so himself. But maybe, for once, he was nervous.
Hey, can I come to your room?
Iâll even bring food.
Beka???
Answer the door, lazy ass.
Blinking, Otabek looked to the hotel door. He took off his headphones and then scooted off his spot at the center of the bed and waited, almost expecting another knock â that is, if Yuri had even knocked before. Wouldnât be unlike Yuri to just text that he was there. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Otabek went to the door and opened it. Yuri stormed right in.
âDude, look at your damn phone.â He walked right to the hotel roomâs desk, setting down a large paper bag with an intricate red logo on it. He plopped into the chair before Otabek even had the door locked.
âSorry, I was busy,â Otabek said. âI need to finish my mix by tomorrow night, so time isnât exactly on my side.â
âOh. Right,â Yuri looked away, shoulders sagging. âShit. Uh, I should probably leave.â
Just as he was getting up, Otabek had made his way over to Yuri, setting gentle hands on his arms.
âWait a sec, are you bleeding?â Otabek asked, trying to get a better look at Yuriâs face. For once, Yuriâs newfound height wasnât exactly on his side. Not like he was trying to hide it, though. Part of him just didnât want Otabek to ask.
âItâs not a big deal.â Yuri waved his hand dismissively and then went to grab the bag.
âWhat happened?â Otabek pressed.
âNothing, okay? Itâs fine, Iâll go. Youâre busy anyway.â
âYuri, itâs not fine. Sit back down.â Otabek pressed at Yuriâs chest, almost having to shove his friend back into the chair.
Yuri let himself collapse into the swivel chair, sighing. His gaze finally fell directly on Otabek.
âLetâs just say I had a little altercation.â Yuriâs shoulders shook with a small laugh. His eyes trailed away from Otabek when he realized his friend wasnât finding it funny.
âJeez,â Otabek breathed. âAnd the night before the competition, too.â
He leaned in, looking over Yuriâs face. Otabek couldnât tell if Yuriâs nose was still bleeding, but he had a cut on his cheek, too. It seemed Yuri had tried to use his shirt to do something about the blood from the nosebleed, because his shirt collar was red and there was some blood on his chin and smudged against his collar bone and neck. He was only relieved his friend didnât have a black eye. That would be tougher to hide.
âWhat happened?â Otabek asked.
Yuri looked down, shoving his hands into the pockets of his joggers.
âSome fuckers were harassing this girl and I confronted them,â Yuri said. âI guess I at least gave her enough time to get away from them.â
Otabek looked down at Yuri, sighing. He sat down at the foot of the bed, across from the swivel chair.
âI actually thought you mightâve caused some trouble. That seems more likely, honestly,â Otabek joked, smiling.
Yuri shot him a scowl.
âIâm not always being a jerk,â he said through his teeth.
Otabek leaned forward, getting a better look at Yuriâs face again.
âDoes it still hurt?â
âNot really. I guess if I put too much pressure on it, it would.â
âMust look worse than it is,â Otabek said, getting up from the bed. âWhatâd you get us?â He asked as he flicked the bathroom light on. Pulling tissues out of the dispenser by the sink, he crumpled a few in his hand and turned on the faucet.
âChinese takeout. Hope you like spicy Szechuan chicken. You donât have a consistent order for Chinese, so sorry if you hate it. Guess that means more for me. At least I wonât get fat like Katsudon.â Otabek could hear Yuriâs throaty laugh from the bathroom. When he came back, Yuri was slouched in the chair, already peeling the bag open.
âDonât eat yet, Iâm gonna wipe your face,â Otabek said, standing over him.
âI can do that myself,â Yuri said, reaching out for the damp clump of tissues.
Otabek grabbed Yuriâs wrist, looking at his knuckles.
âLooks like you actually got some hits in. Do your hands feel okay?â
Yuri rolled his eyes. âYeah, Iâm fine. Really.â
Nodding, Otabek let go of Yuriâs hand and cupped his chin instead, stubble digging into the pads of his fingers. He rubbed at Yuriâs nose and upper lip, feeling warmth rush to his own face. Something about looking roughed up made Yuri look more like himself. Otabek didnât always like Yuriâs aggression, but it was definitely part of the guy. And even though this was a strange opportunity, Otabek was letting himself enjoy it. Usually, if he was this close to Yuriâs face, it didnât last too long. If not for the blood, he might have leaned in and stolen a kiss or two. But it seemed more like he was smudging the blood on Yuriâs face than actually cleaning it off. Heâd probably need to get more tissues to actually help. For a quick second, Yuri shut his eyes, scrunching up his face and letting out a grunt.
âSorry, did that hurt?â Otabek asked, dabbing at Yuriâs face a few more times.
âJust quit it, Iâm fine.â Yuri pushed Otabekâs hand away, turning to the desk.
âOkay. You should shave before the competition tomorrow, though,â Otabek said. He tossed the bloodied tissues into the waste basket and returned to the bathroom to wash his hands.
âYouâre not my mom, shut up,â Yuri spat. Otabek felt a smile tug at his lips. This was as close to verbal affection as Yuri ever got.
The bed creaked under Otabekâs weight as he sat back across from Yuri, this time facing Yuriâs back. He prodded the back of the chair with his foot.
âHey, feed me, Tiger,â Otabek teased. His face sported a silly grin.
Yuri turned in the swivel chair, his face and neck red like when heâd get drunk.
âDonât call me that,â he mumbled as he passed Otabek one of the white boxes packed to the brim with food.
They both sat quietly, hardly looking at each other. The only sounds were the white noise of the hotelâs AC unit and the munching of saucy chicken. Otabek was a little wary about eating something with such dark sauce over plain white sheets.
âThe girl I helped earlier,â Yuri started, âshe kinda reminded me of your little sister. Same wavy hair, yâknow? I think I got a little carried away cuz of that.â
Yuri glanced up at Otabek, almost put off by his look of concern.
âWhat do you mean âcarried awayâ? Am I gonna have to keep you hidden away from the police or something?â Otabek asked.
âYou think guys preying on some teenage girl are gonna go to the cops for getting beat?â
âWhatâd you do to them?â Otabek shot the question out before Yuri really had time to think of something snide. He instead stabbed at his chicken with his fork.
âI broke a guyâs fingers, okay? Whatever.â
He shoved a hunk of chicken into his mouth before Otabek could ask anything else. But Otabek looked even more concerned.
âSeriously? Holy shit, Yuraââ
âIt wasnât completely on purpose! The fight got messy and I grabbed his hand funny,â Yuri pushed the chair around with his heel to face the curtained windows, setting the takeout box down on the desk. âIs it bad that getting into a fistfight felt satisfying? Yakov and Lilia have been putting so much damn pressure on me lately, and I had no way to blow off steam this past month, it almost felt like the timing couldnât have been better.â
Otabek thought for a second, then shrugged.
âNo, I wouldnât say itâs bad. And actually, Iâm impressed. I didnât know you could fight.â
âShut up,â Yuri said. âJust work on your mix or whatever.â Yuri leaned back in the chair and toed his shoes off.
âYou spending the night in my room?â Otabek asked.
âIâm at least gonna make myself comfortable for now. Shit, man, I got blood on this shirt and everything.â Yuri pushed himself out of the chair, walking to the bathroom. âThose ladies at the Chinese restaurant probably thought I was some thug. Iâm surprised they didnât kick me out.â
Otabek watched as Yuri leaned towards the mirror, inspecting his face. It would probably bruise by tomorrow. Lilia would give him an earful for that.
âI bet they get weirder people.â Otabek moved to set his box of chicken on the desk. He stole another gaze at Yuri, smiling.
âCâmere. Worry about that later,â he said, sitting back on the bed. He put his headphones back on and restarted his mix, getting comfy against the pillows like before.
Otabek felt the weight of the bed shift as Yuri got in next to him, sprawling out so his long legs hung off the end of the bed, cheek pressed to Otabekâs stomach.
âHey, donât get blood on my shirt now,��� he said, running a hand through Yuriâs hair.
He couldnât hear Yuriâs reply over his music, but the way he felt Yuriâs mouth move, it was probably another âshut up.â
#yuri!!! on ice#otayuri#yuri on ice#yuri x otabek#yoi fanfic#yoi#yuri plisetsky#otabek altin#otabek x yurio#yuri on ice fanfic#otayuri fanfic#fluff#tw: blood#cw: blood#yurio#yurio plisetsky#yuri plisetzki
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at a certain point i decided that i wasnât going to make myself do things anymore. it must have been sometime after i got on meds, but i canât really remember.
since then, iâve been committed to that goal. i still make myself do things. every day. but i donât like it, it doesnât feel good, and i still wish i had a better way to live.
iâve been letting myself have all the time in the world. i let myself have it easy. i eat how i like (altho my food needs and patterns are pretty well established to allow me to eat what i want and also to stay as healthy as i like), i donât exercise unless i feel like it, i nap if i want, i go to sleep early if i want. iâve been extremely lucky and now work remote, not too many hours a week, and iâve cut back almost all my obligations. this is a big change from even a couple years ago. i used to exist only on my ability to make myself do things i didnât want to do with every fiber of my being. i was running on fumes. for years.
but lately i find myself wanting to be stronger, or to be able to not give in to sleep so much (itâs so hard because i LOVE sleeping). but the only way i know to motivate myself is by MAKING myself do something. i need different stories i can tell myself to do the things i want to do but am feeling lazy about doing.
i often wake up in the morning not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to get up and make coffee, wanting more time before my daily morning call with a current client, not wanting to do any of the bullshit i have to do. i start the morning off grouchy and resentful. i donât want that anymore. iâve been experimenting with different stories i tell myself in the morning. of course the first big breakthrough was the realization that i didnât just have to sit there with my grouchiness and i didnât have to respond to it by just telling myself to get up until i finally gave in and did it.
just in the last few days, iâve been able to get started on my work without spending the entire day stressed out about it and then doing nothing. but i am still very not-disciplined when it comes to sticking with my work. i get distracted easily..i can always find something else to do (like write this blog post XD). lately iâve been telling myself that the only way to start is to start. if you donât know what to do, you have to figure it out. also, iâve been telling myself that the only way to make progress is to put code into the program and see if it works. if you donât know what code to write, thatâs the job in front of you at the moment. i inspire myself by thinking of the ladies in hidden figures. i imagine the main character sitting down with a giant stack of papers: the only way to get this work done is to start. pen to paper. actually reading code and figuring out what itâs doing (at least enough to know what changes to make). sometimes it will take a long time to understand..youâll lose focus and lose the thread and have to read the same thing seemingly a million times, but sometimes reading it a million times is what it takes to get used to a piece of existing code to the point where you can keep enough of the parts in your head to make the intervention you need to make. so better start now.
the other day i managed to get myself to do something sooorta not by forcing myself. earlier in the day i decided that i would use this last nice day before a spell of forecasted rain to go to the beach. but by the afternoon, when the post-lunch laze rolled in, i started to laze out on my goal. (as a side note, this is how lazy i am these days: i had to work hard to talk myself up to do a fun thing that i decided i wanted to do.) i ended up doing it by saying to myself that iâd regret not going (cuz it was supposed to start raining today...which it did...so it was going to be the last sunny day for a while and i love swimming :}), reminding myself that it was only a half hour drive and that there are ways to enjoy the drive (i thought of really nice times my mom and i went to the beach when i was younger. it was a fairly long trip - 45 mins one way - but the journey and the familiar parts of the journey are part of my warm memories about those times), reminding myself that i always feel very good after swimming - better than i thought iâd feel when i imagined myself going swimming beforehand, and that if i told other people that i lazed out on going swimming on a perfect day, with a free afternoon, all because i didnât want to potentially sit in hot traffic for 20 minutes...thatâd be pretty ridiculous. on the way back from swimming, i was sitting in traffic, but i didnât really mind cuz i was still in a really good mood from swimming. i called attention to that fact in my mind: âsee, this was totally worth it. itâs totally better than just imagining going swimming, and the traffic is totally not a big deal. remember this for the future!: if you start to laze out on swimming plans, donât! ^_^ i tried to make that memory groove as strong as i could so that next time this happens, itâll be easier for me to bring up all the things that i told myself to get myself to go. iâm hoping that eventually iâll be able to just get up and go because iâll know that iâll have a good time and that all i have to do is get going. have this lovely memory (which iâve reinforced extra well by writing this for my future self!) should hopefully be enough âevidenceâ of the âpro-goingâ perspective for my future lazy self ;) <3
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