Tumgik
#posting this chapter in full just because im happy with the way the dialogue at the end turned out hehe
penguinkyun · 6 months
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chapter 146 review
i feel a little insane about this chapter. alright not just a bit a lot oh my god we are so back everyone 
before we begin, due to the nature of this chapter including himekawa airi, csa and child abuse along with a murder suicide are going to be mentioned so if you do not feel upto engaging please click off and take care of yourself
lets start with the filming scenes then. so we start with airi trying to reassert control and get into hikaru's head by telling him taiki was his son (horrifying) and how he would return to her because no one would love him (can i strangle her can i please please i really fucking want to this absolute-). this is the lead up to what is essentially the turning point in kamiki's life and hkai relationship: the uehara-himekawa murder suicide.
its so incredibly fucked that right after hikaru asks ai if she'll love him forever (as a direct response to airi manipulating him) she doesnt outright say yes (but she admitted she was trying to be honest and that is such a huge step forward for her) and when he tells uehara, the murder suicide happens. its a string of events very heavily culminating in an absolutely horrible situation for kamiki to find himself in. you can see from that panel of kamiki screaming that he absolutely did not mean for that to happen and it weighs on him. and speaking of weights…the Cut 156: Importance of Life comes right after the scene of the uehara-himekawa murder suicide. doesn't that name sound very Very similar to a certain dialogue? 
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honestly its this similarity that has me tentatively putting out an incredibly batshit theory that for some reason, before filming and the final script was produced, aqua and kamiki met and something in that conversation caused a noticeable shift in how kamiki was portrayed in film. because for a film meant to murder someone, its oddly sympathetic isn't it? even to the point ai herself becomes a little less sympathetic. almost like it isn't kamiki's sole responsibility (although he was definitely involved) of the murder of ai and that someone else was pulling the strings as well cough secret villain kaburagi-. 
the shift is obvious in how frill calls it an extremely spiteful script…but once the final script is produced, both mem and kana point out that there is some kindness in the work, and that its difficult to say whether there is hatred or not. very shrimptresting. 
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this is also backed up by…how exactly did aqua know all of this? i doubt kamiki would've told anyone else except maybe ai, and the only person who would know all of this down to the exact detail is kamiki himself. 
right this is becoming a full conspiracy theory that deserves its own post so lets move on 
anyway this chapter was so good for hikaru-ruby and ai-aqua parallels because hikaru nearly begging ai to say she loves him and will stay forever is incredibly reminiscent of ruby asking aqua if sensei still likes her and not letting him go out of fear he'd disappear if she did so and how both ai and aqua deflect awkwardly in those conversations out of discomfort with the question being presented to them and out of a desire to not outright lie to kamiki and ruby respectively
sidenote: goddamn the acting in this chapter. frill deserves several many awards for this film
sidenote sidenote: in movie!kamiki flopping onto ai was so adorable askjfsks ruby flopped the same way onto ai (in the bath scene in the volume extra)
and before we get to the next section let me just- 
screams 
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kana nation we are so fucking back. 
this really is the start of aqua opening up!!! finally. i wonder what shift caused this given how intent he was on Never Telling Anyone but man am i so happy its happening. aqua being happy for the first time in quite a while like…how many chapters has it been? he's happy for 0.6 seconds!!! he giggled!!! im so happy aqua is actually happy askhfsks
aqua also now has a specific wry smile when talking about his mental health (just like ai has a very specific suffocating smile when shes trying to deflect)
kana’s response to this is honestly incredibly in character in that expression of concern she has seconds before she decides to keep the status quo of bickering esque dialogue that she has with aqua (likely trying not the overwhelm him) but very clearly expressing that she doesn’t want aqua to die and extracting the promise from him that he wouldn’t do so. then proceeding to act extra silly to try and cheer him up. kana i love you
aqua dropping the “i find myself happy when im with you” inhales. please excuse me while i go scream into the void. aquakana lets fucking goooooo. and kana quietly saying it back when aqua leaves? auuuuuughhhh
and finally, the real star of this chapter: KAMIKI’S BACK WITH THE MILK THIS IS NOT A DRILL HES BACK
so many things are interesting about these last few panels because at first i thought ruby was at ai’s grave but on a closer look she’s actually at a shrine? hm. for whom i wonder. did crow girl finally get fed up and tell her to give reverence akfsjsks. 
thing is, i don't think ruby’s in danger. because back in the chapter where kamiki debuted (c.72) he…never actually expresses any hatred or dislike towards her? honestly its rather reads like he’s proud of her and also nino apparently confirmed to kamiki that she wasn’t like ai so if that is his actual motive she’s not in danger of being killed for that. akamengo are the real antagonists of this series for the break next week fr. don’t you love oshi no ko our favourite biweekly manga
so this is an interesting ground for a father-daughter conversation isn’t it? 
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seeingivy · 4 months
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bsfs older brother sukuna asks!
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HI SWEETIE BABY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SWEET WORDS LITERALLYYYY WTF. literallly it makes my head ginormous anytime someone tells me they read either my aot/jjk without having watched the shows or the characters like LITERALLY im just a girl wtf this is literally insane
ok ngl I was really irritated last night when I got that comment bc I genuinely do spend a lot of time on chapters - especially with trying to make dialogue that hits and a story that's interesting? and out of everything it was like one sentence that got fixated on and they were like yeah that's toxic I hope he gets over that. and then like after twenty minutes they edited the comment like still love the story tho! ike I will kill you (gothic font)
but anyways I saw this last night before I went to sleep and I was like THANK YOU YOU ARE SINGING TO MY PRAYERS RN and it made me feel way better I was really annoyed and tldr I love you
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@telepathicheartss my sweetie angel pie you could literally never annoy me. literally one of the reasons that I love to write this fic as often as I do and why i've like lengthened it out (mind you the first chapter was a oneshot) is because people interact and talk to me about it and that's everyting as a writer 1
mini sidebar but I read this whole post lately about the reader/writer relationship and how fics used to be generally viewed as a craft and art rather than something to be consumed like they are now and people would genuinely interact and discuss as opposed to just commenting and asking for a part two and silent liking. tldr it makes writers entire world when you interact and gush and it makes me SOOOO happy. so many of my favorite writers have left bc of how razor silent it can be on tumblr sometimes, so just know you should never ever feel bad for it!
SOOOO GLAD U FEEL SEEN BY THE Y/N CHARACTER. randomly this is my most criticized story? and one time someone told me I gave y/n too much personality LMFAO so this also makes my day that its actually like someone seeing it as a full character that they find relatable instead of like a lifeless blob
anyways thank you again sweetie pie I love you sm 😭💌
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SO REAL! (also sorry)
we are all y/n, we chant in unison
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@wishmemel I get random spurts of such high quality hyperfixation and writing that I like that I start acting like im a fanfiction factory (and it's SO FUN I PROMISE this is literally a hobby to me and it never feels like work)
(i love you too sweetie pie i hope you're doing well <3)
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@pickuptruck01 literally I am ur #1 fan ur always so sweet and I love you im SOOOO glad you're still here writing this goofy story
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THIS IS SOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY I CACKLED OPENING THIS
(it's a link to that tik tok audio that's like GIRLLL FUCKKK THEM KIDS AND FUCK YOU TOO)
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narrators-journal · 9 days
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Hey, I'm trying to make a Yandere Persona 3 fanfic (Which is being posted on AO3). Can you give me some advice as to how to write it as I'm having a writer's block?
(Note: The Yandere ship being Yandere SEES x Fuuka Yamagishi, though, Ken and Koromaru are Platonic Yanderes, with the rest of SEES being Romantic Yanderes.)
Okay! So, I’ll preface this with, this isn’t some step-by-step guide on how to write your story, it’s just some general advice I could think of. I’m a good writer, but my methods might not work for you, and I do not claim to know what the fuck I’m actually doing. So, keep that in mind while you read this, okay? I’m sorry if none of this advice works for you, and if you have any questions after this, or want some more clarity on these points, feel free to send in another ask, comment, anything like that and I’ll be happy to answer them!
Now, let’s get the big part of this done first. If you want to know how I personally write and manage to craft all the stories like months of tolerance, Winter is a lovely season for weddings and funerals, or any of the smut you might like to read, I...can’t really help. The best I’ve got for that is just, I tend to write what I like to think about, and that enjoyment usually leads me to filling in the details and putting in the extra effort to try and make the writing, story, and implied world around the scenarios as good as I can get them. So, if you just want a walk through on how to gain that skill, all I can offer is to simply enjoy what you write, and write what would make you happy for the story.
Alright! With that out of the way, onto how I tackle my fics! Starting with my first step, making an outline.
OUTLINING
And, trust me, I recognize that some writers hate to outline their stories, it’s boring, it can seem to take all the fun and spontenaity out of writing. But, for a full fanfiction, with something that requires plot, and consistency, an outline is very good. Especially if you’re writing anything with a large cast of characters, like you’re planning to, because an outline lets you keep track of how frequently someone appears, talks, who’s getting too much spotlight vs who isn’t getting enough, and lets you keep track of events.
Plus, it can be a good baby step to work out of a writer’s block because it’s not very taxing on the brain. You’re just taking your ideas, and trying to at least vaguely organize them. So, in that sense, an outline also can work as a pre-rough draft! Because, you’re writing down all of your big ideas and noting down ideas to flesh those bigger points out in a format that’s a lot easier to get out, edit and adjust than a full blown chapter, y’know? So, take advantage of that, and take the time to outline your entire fic before hand. It doesn’t have to be super detailed, you don’t need to fill an outline with polished prose, you just need to get down your ideas in a semi-organized fashion so that you can map out how your plot will go. For example, something like this is how I would outline a fic:
end
Maya and co. finally convince Tatsuya to join their group, booting Nanjo to the curb.
Katsuya and Tatsuya bond after an encounter with Katsuya’s shadow
S!Katsuya: Admit it! You hate your baby brother! He ruined your life!
Katsuya: No! No, I could never hate him!
Tatsuya punches Nyarlethotep in the face
As you can see, it isn’t super detailed or in-depth, it just covers the big points of how they reach the desired end, with some dialogue I thought up as I was writing. And, that leads into my next point of advice for outlines specifically: Start with the ending. If you figure out the ending first, you’ll know what to foreshadow and build in the earlier portions, so I always suggest you start by writing down your ending point.
So, tldr: Try outlining your fic before you get stuck into writing. It’ll help you catch plot holes, recall and keep track of cool dialogue you thought up, and make sure each of your cast has time to shine and some sort of impact within the plot. Especially when it comes to large groups of characters you’ll have to keep track of.
CHARACTERIZATION AND DIFFERENTIATION
This next part is another big thing I keep track of when I write my fics or scenarios, and is especially noteworthy for a group of Yanderes. My personal characterization, and how that differentiates that specific character from the others.
This is the time you work in your headcanons for character personalities or backstory, and I can’t offer any help on that front. Your takes are your takes, the only advice I can offer is to make sure to note those personalities down if you don’t feel confident innately writing that character with them yet. Like some form of cheat sheet on Junpei, or Mitsuru, or whoever you don’t feel you can portray consistently off the cuff. That way, as you write them, you can have something to refer back to for their actions. For example, if I was to write for a yandere Junpei, I’d probably write down:
Keep golden retriever energy
Possibly stand-offish to darling at first. In some circumstances
Probably doesn’t bother to hide stalker behavior.
Likely to gaslight to hide that shit instead
to try and keep him consistent.
Which, is another example of how characterization is very important for specifically yandere fics. After all, not every yandere should behave the same, and for a group those small differences are hard to keep track of in your mind alone. Like, Shinjiro is terrified of hurting those he cares about, so he’s not going to be as kidnap happy as Akihiko. Who is more likely to deem the outside world dangerous and unpredictable, so the safest place for Darling is with him at all times. Yukari has an awful track record of those important to her leaving in some fashion, so she’s going to be far more aggressive when Darling escapes than, say, Minato is. Since Minato’s lower energy, and is convinced he’s ‘normal’, and doesn’t care about anybody, so violence isn’t something he’s keen on. That’s a lot to keep straight if you’re just relying on your own memory for those good character ideas.
So, all of these things are aspects I usually note down for the yanderes I write. It lends them some variety, personality, and opens a lot more potential for Darling to have conflict and a chance. So, I suggest you think a bit about each character you want, and write down how they personally would behave as a yandere. Which, leads into what should be our second to last, major point of advice.
LET THE DARLING BE SMART
As a writer, I can tell you, favoritism is something that happens, lol. Not only in characters, but focus. Sometimes you just prefer to focus on the fun interactions, or the kidnap portion of a yandere story, and that’s fine. But, for a good, filling story, you should always make sure that you are trying to make your Darling/mc at least believably dumb, lol.
Which, transcends the strict vibes of the situation. After all, no matter if it’s overt yandere behavior, or subtle, if your Darling is obliviously a-okay with everything around her, and goes to grab a spoon to defend themself against a psycho killer covered in the bestie’s blood, it can take a reader out of your story. If done wrong, at least.
Plus, a story is better with conflict, and making sure your character is believably smart, can heighten the tension, stakes, and simply provide that friction. It lets your reader have hope that a plan will work, and feel more tense and invested when shit begins to go awry. So always try to make sure your darling has some awareness fitting your plot.
And, finally!
WRITE FOR YOURSELF
Aka, don’t get so hung up on writing the perfect, most polished, tense, believable fic that you end up killing your own joy for it. All of this advice is stuff that I, personally, use to write my full length fics. I like to think of all of the little details and make a thoroughly thought out story, but if you just want to write a lighter, less dark yandere story that’s nothing but pure self-indulgence, go for it!
Hell, I’ve done it, my Ryomina fic, Winter is a lovely season for romance and funerals, is built brick by brick off of my own enjoyment of the idea of Minato being sacrificed to Ryoji. The story was grown around that, and it probably shows lol. So, make sure that you don’t get too caught up in the planning, the consistency of the characters, or how well put together your story is. Just enjoy yourself, and you will usually find an audience who can appreciate the simple fun of your fic. Just be aware of your motivations, and try not to take your fic too seriously.
Annnnnnd that’s all I’ve got for coherent advice! I hope this is helpful, I hope it is clear, and I appreciate that you thought so highly of my writing, that you asked my advice! Again, if anything here is confusing, or you’d like advice on a specific thing I didn’t cover here, feel free to comment, send another ask, whatever! That goes for everybody who decides to read this btw, not just the asker.
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shreddedparchment · 1 year
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How can this be? How can I be all caught up on your writing? What am I gonna do with myself now?
I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve read a LOT of fan fiction. The way you write is so visually compelling, thick with detail and the way you write stage direction is chefs kiss! Your mastery of body language and the way dialogue fits into a situation or conversation physically has always felt so natural. I Can feel you seeing a scene as you write it. Even your earliest work feels full of imagination and true sight!
Pseudo princess. Gorgeous. Emotional. Delicious for my brain.
That one, what was it?, where reader was the only one who remembered her life with Thor and their pregnancy? Parallel? Gut wrenching. Soul crushing. Completely visceral experience. I’ll never get over that chapter of her breakdown in Tony’s dungeon. It’ll stay with me.
I saw that you’ve been writing less, and that you just had major surgery. I don’t know if you’ll be back writing and I want you to know that that is ok. I love what you do and even if you don’t post it or even write it, you are still a writer. And im gonna be here, rereading, browsing, lurking, reblogging those aesthetic flower pics. I’m so proud of you. You are so talented.
I love you!
-Kat
Kat! I am undeserving of such high praise! You can't imagine what and encouragement it is for me when you give me your genuine reactions. Not only is it fun for me to see how you perceive my storytelling, but it also helps me keep going. I've been having a lot of imposter syndrome lately now that my endo is "cured" and I didn't realize how much of my personality my pain had become.
All that said, you are such a positive part of my experience here on tumblr. Thanks for always being so lovely and excited in my comments and reblogs. It legit makes me so happy when you hate on my characters because it means I'm doing something right. Lol ❤️
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lazaruspiss · 2 months
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20 questions for writers
tagged by @roipecheur mwah mwah !!
1. how many works do you have on AO3? - 34
2. what's your total AO3 word count? - 65,516
3. what fandoms do you write for? - its pure DC brainrot babes. maybe that'll change one day, but i have a hard time balancing multiple interests
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? - A Kind Place To Rest, What’s in a gift?, Indulgence, Always a Kitten, Red Wings
5. do you respond to comments? - i try!!! but know that even if i don't reply i give each and every comment a lil smooch
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - most of my stuff is pretty fucked up, but Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish. and The Leagues That Go Bump In The Night are probably up there? both because they involve Dick experiencing violent assaults with the promise of more to come and because he doesn't compartmentalize/justify/repress it much at all. so he's just forced to experience The Horrors. Damian's chapter in A curse in disguise. is the thing that actually makes me wanna yell though. I wrote that?? I only have myself to blame for making me feel things??? what the fuck man.
7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - tough question. hm. I was able to pull up like, 6 candidates, but I'm not really sure how to measure "happy ending". Endings that were the most... more happy by the end than when they started...? i guess? There are a few that end on a "and the ship sailed happily ever after" type note. New Beginnings is a bit more enthusiastically happy, because Dick and Kori are just so damn excited to have babies
8. do you get hate on fics? - most of the hate i've gotten has been tumblr anons, lol
9. do you write smut? If so, what kind? - the freaky kind >:) (22/34 of my fics are explicit)
10. do you write crossovers? - nah. thought about it, have wanted to, but it takes a bit more planning than a regular fic
11. have you ever had a fic stolen? - nah
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - no, but i would welcome it so long as it linked back and all that
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - WAIT YES I HAVE. in middle school i think? during a sleepover a friend and i sat together on a couch and sent emails back and forth, taking turns adding onto a smut fic about british gaming youtubers that i dont think they even knew? also our incredibly innocent/prudish christian friend might have also been there lmao. that fic stayed in our emails im pretty sure.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? - ough...h hg..... jay and cole from ninjago. w other series i tend to be more "pick a fav and explore all possible parings involving them", but i only ever picture jay and cole with each other. for me that means something
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? - oh uh. gotta bust out file explorer hold on. I did plan on making an entire series of fics connected to Little Princess, but I doubt I'll get to that, especially bc im not that proud of that fic anymore. there are a couple more fairly detailed and large projects sitting in my scrapped folder. and i mean, i keep a scrapped folder bc that way i dont have the pressure of finishing it but i still have the option if i want to.
16. What are your writing strengths? - uhm. uh.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? - forget to write the words. i also have a bit of dyslexia and miss stuff no matter how much i proof read
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - depends? if it's a full conversation then i think i'd opt for <dialogue> or something like that, but if it's for random background chatter or mixed language dialogue then maybe just use the actual words. kind of have to, in the second case. spanglish type talk is fun actually, like sometimes i just talk like that to try and figure out what spanish i remember
19. First fandom you wrote for? - probably minecraft youtubers? the first i posted online was my hero academia tho. dont ask me about MHA btw i literally only care about kaminari and stopped keeping up like 4 years ago
20. Favourite fic you've written? - uh. hm. Aha! only my third fic but it ticks all my boxes and i love it dearly: Lulu Belle And The Cat-Chaser
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my-soul-sings · 3 years
Text
just my luck: chapter 7
Fandom: Wannabe Challenge Characters: Taehee x Reader
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 (pt. 1) | Chapter 4 (pt. 2) | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 (AO3)
***
Chapter 7 (full) 
*** 
Your life had officially gone up in flames. Literally.
You knew your bad luck had been getting worse and worse, but you hadn’t expected it to come down to this. Three fire trucks parked were outside your apartment building, there were firefighters scattered all around the place and a bunch of people who had been rescued but otherwise looked uninjured for the most part. The fire had already been put out, but the damage was severe. The walls of the building had been charred black, the smell of smoke and burning lingered in the stuffy air and from what you could tell, the fire had scorched and destroyed almost everything.
At a distance you spotted your landlady speaking to a police officer in tears. Your heart broke at the sight. She was a sweet old lady who didn’t deserve any of this. Would she even have a place to stay after this?
‘It’s because of you,’ a voice within you whispered, ‘you bring bad luck wherever you go.’
You shook your head, pushing that thought out of your mind. Spiralling wouldn’t do any good right now; it was the last thing you needed. In any case, you weren’t in a position to worry about other people. You were basically homeless now, and the bigger question you had to think about was: what next?
A hand rested on your shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know that it was Taehee. You knew he probably wanted to ask if you were okay, but he remained quiet, which you were grateful for. He had driven you here when you insisted on leaving to come here. Maybe it was because you didn't believe him—it wasn’t common for someone to find their home scorched to the ground, even for you. Or maybe it was because you didn’t want to believe it. The whole ride here you desperately prayed to whatever god existed out there, hoping that it wasn’t true, that maybe Taehee had gotten it wrong somehow and that you still had a home to return to at the end of this.
Of course, you had been dead wrong. And now you were sitting in the passenger seat of his car, at a complete, utter loss. There was nothing you could do now. You hadn’t even lasted a week out here on your own, so maybe this was the universe just telling you to suck it up, get your mother to forgive you one way or another, and just go along with whatever she wanted now.
You had to survive, and there weren’t any options left.
The hand from your shoulder slipped away, the missing warmth now making you feel emptier than before. But that was resolved quickly when you found yourself being pulled into his arms, with your forehead resting on his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” you asked tiredly, not having the strength to push him away anymore. You didn’t have the energy for anything at the moment. You just wanted to sleep and pretend this was all just a horrible, horrible nightmare. And when you woke up, maybe everything would be alright again.
“Lending you a shoulder to cry on.” You could feel the soft vibrations of his deep, quiet voice as he spoke. He placed a hand on your head, running his fingers through your hair, patting you like you were a child in need of comfort.
“I never said I was going to cry,” you murmured, just as moisture began to burn in the back of your eyes.
“You didn’t have to,” he told you, squeezing you tighter and pressing you closer to him. The smell of his cologne was nice. “So take all the time you need. I’ll be here.”
“You shouldn’t be so nice to me.” Your voice was coming out in a shaky whisper now; it was hard to keep it even when your shoulders were starting to shake as an involuntary sob escaped you.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re going to give me the wrong idea.”
“About?”
“I’ll… start to think... that you care about me.”
He chuckled, and you could feel his warm breaths on your head. “That’s actually what I’ve been hoping for.”  
But you didn’t want that—having someone care for you, provide for you. Because you would end up depending on them, caring for them in return. And then eventually, you would lose them.
In the end, no one wanted to stay with the bad luck charm. Not even the woman who gave birth to you.
“I’ll be here."  
Taehee’s words echoed in your mind, and you were acutely aware of his arms that were tightly wrapped around your frame and his stillness as he held you and listened to you cry into his shirt. He wouldn’t be any different. You were fairly certain of it. Maybe he knew you like he claimed he did, but as with everyone else, he would leave somewhere down the road.
Maybe for now—just for a few minutes—you could stay like this. It didn’t matter if he left eventually; you were already used to being alone.
But just for the moment, you needed this: someone to hold you, to be by your side and hold you together, before you shattered completely.
***
You ended up crying for an hour. Taehee had kept true to his word, content to let you cry for as long as you needed to. The whole time he didn’t say a word, only hugging you tightly and running his hand through your hair. By the end of it, your eyes were puffy and swollen, half of the tissue box he had in his car had been emptied, and his shirt had a huge puddle stain where you had cried.
Taehee didn’t complain, but you could tell his arms and back were sore from that awkward hugging position in the car. Although you apologised, he insisted that he was fine and that he was happy he could be here for you. He offered to drive you back to his place for the time being, and you couldn’t protest since there really wasn’t anywhere else you could go.
His kindness made you feel bad for that confrontation with him in the morning. He obviously had hidden intentions for why he was doing all this, but maybe those intentions weren’t bad.
Although, there was one thing that still bothered you somewhat…
“Earlier… Hansol, was it? He had my bags with him, saying you told him to get them for you. Why did you do that? Did you know something was going to happen?”
He was quiet. Oddly so. You assumed he was just focusing on driving, but when he remained silent even when the car rolled to a stop at a red light, you decided to ask him again. Something was definitely up.
“It’s a bit difficult to explain,” he admitted after a beat of silence, a rueful smile hanging from his lips. “You might not believe me.”
“Try me.” Crazier things had happened. Besides, there was no reason for him to lie to you at this point.
He nodded. The car began to move as the light turned green.
“Have you heard of people who can see the future?”
With a confused frown, you replied, “You mean in movies? Yeah. Sure.”
“I mean in real life. People with… what they call a sixth sense.”
You stared at him, wondering if it was a trick question of some sort. “Where is this conversation going?” you asked. “Aren’t you a doctor? I didn’t think you’d believe in this stuff.”
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “that’s because I have that ability.”
“...You can see the future?”
“Glimpses of it,” he clarified. “But getting a vision doesn’t mean I know when exactly it’s going to happen. It could happen in the next couple of minutes or in a few days; it varies. And I can only cover one person at a time.”
At this point you had heard that tone of voice enough to know that he wasn’t pulling your leg; he was being completely serious. And you’re telling me all this, because..?”
“You asked me why I had Hansol help me move your things out of your apartment.”
Oh, right. That. Wait, but that would mean—
“You saw it coming? The fire?”
He nodded, and you could already see the silent apology on his trembling lips. “When I held you in my arms that day, I saw an image of you... surrounded by flames. I panicked, so I brought you home and had Hansol help me pack your things later that night. I didn’t think the fire would happen so soon after we left. I thought I could warn the landlady or someone about it in the morning when they were awake. Sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault,” you muttered, reeling from this information. You were beginning to understand why he never shared much about himself; you would have written him off as insane on the spot. The only reason you could believe him now was because of everything that had happened; his was the only logical explanation possible.
“Thanks for getting me out of there. And my things. Otherwise, I really would have lost everything,” you said.
Taehee smiled, casting a quick side-glance at you. “I’m just glad that you’re safe.” His voice was filled with relief. “Thanks for believing me.”
You shrugged. “It’s not like there’s another possible explanation for this.”
“Hmm… maybe I set fire to the apartment building and kidnapped you?”
A short laugh escaped you. “I think that’s the first joke I’ve heard you make, Dr. Kim.”
He grinned, casting a sideways glance at you. “You’re finally smiling.”
The curve of your lips faltered, and you turned aside to look out the window. It became quiet, save for the soft music from the radio that was playing. Strangely enough, it didn’t feel awkward just sitting here in silence, watching the clouds and cars whizz by. Your eyes lingered on the vast blue sky above. For a brief moment, its vastness made your problems feel small—and the suffocating tightness in your chest loosened little by little.
“The weather’s nice today,” you murmured. There was nary a trace of grey clouds in the distance. The sun wasn’t glaringly bright, and the trees passing you by were swaying in the wind.
“Looks like it’ll be a good day today,” Taehee agreed.
It was anything but a good day. This had to be one of the worst days in your life.
And yet, somehow, it didn’t feel so bad. Not as bad as it did an hour ago, at least. Maybe it was because you had become numb, having run out of tears to cry. Maybe it was the sky that made you and your problems feel so much smaller in comparison.
Or maybe it was simply that you didn’t feel like you had to manage it all on your own anymore, since you weren’t alone this time.
You turned your head to the side, eyeing his side profile, tracing the curves of his wavy hair, his nose, his jawline… The man next to you seemed determined to butt into your life and to help you as best as he could, for reasons he didn’t want to reveal just yet. Perhaps those reasons were as unbelievable as his claim that he could see the future.
But… since he had already revealed that to you, surely he could tell you more now?
“You said you can only cover one person at a time with your… your ability,” you began. “Why me? Why are you helping me?”
His lips turned up into a vague smile. It was difficult to decipher the emotion that briefly crossed his face. “I’m afraid you’ll think I’m crazy.”
“I believe you can see the future. What can be crazier than that?”
He stole a hesitant glance at you, and the apartment building where he lived in slowly came into view around the corner.
“It was love at first sight.”
Oh.
Stunned, you couldn’t speak a word. All you could do was stare at him incredulously.
Well, Taehee was right about one thing.
“You’re crazy,” you said, completely serious.
He only laughed, but didn’t retract his words.
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You! Are the reason I was able to become a part of this fandom. When I first stumbled over Kanato and began looking into the whole Dialovers thing it was your blog google threw my way. So I got myself a PS Vita, cracked that thing over the course of several weeks, because holy shit is it difficult to get an emulator onto that thing if you don't know what you're doing, and then I played Haunted Dark Bridal with your translations.
And look where I am now with over 100 posts on my Kanato blog @papuru666... It has become one of my greatest comforts to analyze the brat and it all could only happen because you and all the other amazing, selfless, genius translators who make it possible with their continuous work. Thank you, I'm bowing my head in gratitude 💝
I have a question or rather: something I'd like to ask of you or rather rather: a twofold proposal.
I want to replay HDB and analyze Kanato's full route, going through each chapter, to point out interesting things, analyze his behavior and the way Rejet plots their scenes. For that I can absolutely just paraphrase what happens and it should work out. But for a better reading experience quoting some of your translation work to better structure my essays would be a tremendous upgrade.
I do not intend to say anything about language or the way translation and original interact because I can't, I don't understand japanese at all, and because I have too much respect for your work to mess with it in any way.
But there's a lot of text in Kanato's route alone, so asking this of you I feel unwell even if I don't intend to quote like the whole thing, only selected parts. I want to repay you somehow, if this is in any way okay for you at all. I really don't know what would be enough or of what kind of service I can be to you. But I'm open for anything!
I already asked another translator, @tournesolia for permission to use their translations a while ago. And I still intend to do that for the games I first played with their translations. But for pure sentimental reasons - it all started with you! - I'd like to go back to the exact experience I had and recreate the feeling of falling in love with Kanato for the first time. As crazy as that is, objectively speaking. 🙈
I also want you to know that if that is not okay for you, I am absolutely not disappointed, you give so much, I've already been spoiled for life. Thank you so much for your time and efforts, I send lots of love to you! 🥺💜💜💜
Oh my god. > /// <
I'm so happy to hear that my translations were the reason you were able to connect with this fandom! uwu
Haunted Dark Bridal is where it all started for me and this blog as well, so that game does have a special place in my heart.
I will give you 100% permission to paraphrase/summarize my translations and use them in your analysis!
Even though Kanato is not my favorite character (in the slightest haha), I do think there's some extremely interesting content in his HDB route in particular! (A lot of it completely unexplored because Rejet completely ditched it themselves :'') )
Therefore I will definitely give your analysis a read once you publish it! ^^
If there any parts of the translations which are confusing to you (English isn't my native language after all), feel free to contact me through IMs and I will take a look at the Japanese dialogue again!
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sleepynenes · 2 years
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the misadventures of detective falsewell and grian was started over a year ago. let’s discuss
hello followers of tumblr blog sleepyrinas. i came to a realization today and so i will be spilling all of my thoughts about it here
the first chapter of dtau was posted march 11, 2021! and i didn’t even realize until i checked my ao3 today out of curiosity! and i’d like to talk about it because that fic is really important to me :]
where do i begin, really
dtau was. i was really just challenging myself with “how self indulgent can i make this fic” like. grian listens to loona is a running joke. i put several references to inside jokes with my friends, a lot of it is based on my own little home town and my love of it, they wear different outfits almost every scene, grian and false are literally siblings like i really went all out there
and i had fun! and people enjoyed it! and that is still so crazy to me!!!
it was a labor of love, writing literally like 87k words in 4 months i still go back and reread it sometimes to remind myself of what it was like
it’s an extension of me in a way, because so much of it is like...stupidly personal? the dynamics and dialogue are based off my interactions with friends and family and i’d just like to give a shout out to my little brother for existing he is kind of to blame for this in a way--
it’s a fic that is so self indulgent and silly there is so much i love about it, sometimes i think it’s dumb and hate i wrote it but then i think about it and smile cause wow. it is so silly and so self indulgent and i remember why i wrote it which was just to make myself happy and that is all that matters
im also still surprised its my most popular fic on ao3?!?!?!?1 like i guess it makes sense since its the oldest and probably the one i posted the most about but WOW
in some other news: i would like to write a sequel or something, just a silly oneshot where we get to see that detective trio on an adventure again. will it happen? eventually, sure, i’ve got my plate full right now with school and rehearsals and my other fic but after that, i’m itching to visit these characters again :]
this post is a whole lot of nothing, but i do want to say thank you to everyone who read this fic and enjoyed it. you have no idea how much it means to me. and maybe i’m getting too sappy and emotional over a FIC and especially one like this, but hey who cares!
OH ALSO. SOLAR. SOLAR BETWEENLANDS I CANT TALK ABOUT DTAU WITHOUT SHOUTING OUT SOLAR
here’s to this messy pair of detective siblings whom i adore so much <3
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whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)
this is a great question!!
if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing
for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works
slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits
and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.
(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)
as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.
right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.
but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!
ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:
[SIERRA]
MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.
Chef: hey!
Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married
Sierra: …can we just turn it off please
[COURTNEY]
DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—
MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?
ZARINA: And kick ass!
DAD: Zarina!
Video cuts out.
Alejandro: courtney you good?
Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter
Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]
[ALEJANDRO]
MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.
DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.
JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]
Alejandro: callate!
MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.
DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.
[NOAH]
MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!
ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!
RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]
MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?
Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—
ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!
LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.
BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding
ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!
JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.
Noah: [frozen, ashamed]
Sierra: well that was a mess
Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]
Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…
Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv
Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane
Chef: oh fuck
Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom
Everyone: …
Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems
Everyone: yeah ok sounds good
***
Courtney: so that sucked
Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok
Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like
Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx
***
Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you
Noah: yep
Alejandro: why?
Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified
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maxbegone · 4 years
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IT’S FINALLY HERE!
In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night! 
There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera. 
A very special thanks to everyone who participated! 
@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine  // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco  // @imargaery  // @justwaiting23  // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon​ // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @vulcantastic​ @wlwbaudelaire​
I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post! 
**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!
@bestwisheswarmestregards​
Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21
Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy. 
Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers. 
Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone​ 
Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations. 
@brighter-than-sunshine​
Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo 
Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.
Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73​
Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis. 
Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23​
Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!
@danieljradcliffe​
Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart​
Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.
Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117 
Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.
Fic 3:  Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​  
Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.
@darnitdraco​
Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​
Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book. 
Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired​
Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!! 
Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3 
Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.
@imargaery​
Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream
Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.
Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll
Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?
Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate
Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.
@justwaiting23​
Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia​
Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.
Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove
Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.
Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi
Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.
@leopxld-fitz​
Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)
Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment. 
Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder​
Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.
Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface
Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!
@lickrustdavid​
Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski 
Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room. 
Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them. 
Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope. 
@loveburnsbrighter​
Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane
Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic.  Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer.  Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)
Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus​
Why I like it: Another comfort fic!  Musician Patrick/manager David.  It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time.  Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her.  Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me.  I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.
Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger
Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort.  Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.
@maxbegone​
Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3
Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.
Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree​
Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.
Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots
Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.
@oceanavinfinity​
Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail
Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.
@poorguysheadcanon​
Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)
Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!
@ratchet​
Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.
Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid​ 
Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!
Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.
@roguebabyinyourstore​
Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it:​ I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?
Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate  
Why I like it:​ You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.
Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy 
Why I like it: ​I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.
@stuck-on-your-heart​
Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )
Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart. 
Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus
Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.
Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account
Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.
@thisbuildinghasfeelings​
Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.
Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles​ ( @wild-aloof-rebel​ )
Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.
Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3
Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.
@vulcantastic​
Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit
Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David  has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.
Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117
Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.
Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali
Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.
@wlwbaudelaire​
Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos
Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show. 
Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter​ )
Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light. 
Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing​
Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.
Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well! 
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dotsayers · 3 years
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20 Questions: Writer’s Edition
tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 
this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb
way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter
as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)
do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)
standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)
a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)
where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo
14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?
oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing
16. What are your writing strengths?
once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child
20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope
tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this
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peachcitt · 4 years
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fanfic year in review - 2020
hey laddies i was tagged by both @miabrown007 and @strangerahne to do this, so without further ado here we go!
1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished: 
Bone Tea (march) // All These Selfish Feelings (march) // Doomed from the Start (may) // Wouldn’t it be Nice (may) // my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (may) // screw the classics, and screw you for believing in them (june) // Friendship Bracelets (june) // Those Benevolent Stars (june) // the dark and the stained glass watchers (july) // Bloodsucker (july) // Messy Advances (july) // Happy Endings, the Sun, and Other Steps to Madness (july) // Guessing Game (august) // Passion Fruit Sunset [zine piece, currently unavailable] (september) // Home Coming [zine piece, currently unavailable] (november) // here (november) // bread and oranges (november) // clarity (november) // burgundy, near black (december) // About Emma Martin (december) // cherries (december) // falling, flying (december) // aloe-infused fuzzy socks (december)
23 fics??? okay well looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous
2) Number of words written:
219,184 words (which includes my unfinished fics on ao3 and the wips i haven’t posted)
again looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous
3) Your most popular fic:
friendship bracelets - the first in the series of my homoerotic college au zukka fics. honestly? i can’t even say im surprised
4) Your personal fav:
MAN this is hard. okay it’s gotta be a four-way tie between bone tea, those benevolent stars, home coming, and screw the classics and screw you for believing in them but really i could be lying because i wrote so much this year (i guess now last year?) that i was really really proud of 
5) Your fav scene:
okay i have a lot of favorites but for right now i’ll say: the scene in chapter 3 of those benevolent stars when adrien and marinette are sitting on the banks of the seine and they talk about their favorite colors and adrien’s soulmate - it’s such a quiet and gentle moment, and because you know that their favorite colors are based off each other’s eyes but only marinette knows that and because you know adrien is talking about his soulmate to his soulmate and she knows it but he doesn’t. it’s full of such beautiful, tragic dramatic irony that i just love so so much
6) A fic or scene that challenged you:
hm okay the last few chapters of bone tea were definitely challenging not only because of, like, the big fight scenes (which, im not really comfortable writing fight scenes) but also because i had take all of the mess of emotions in bt and wrap it all up into a conclusion that needed to be satisfying. the same could be said about happy endings, the sun, and other steps to madness (minus the fight scene part)
writing impure - my changeling jim au fic - has also been a fun challenge because i basically watch trollhunters episodes as i write, examining each line of dialogue and each character interaction and seeing how that scene or relationship would be changed by the fact that jim is a changeling. it was also a little challenging to keep everything fresh and new - especially at the times when the dialogue from the show stayed the same in the fic, but so far, im really really happy with the way the fic is going
7) A line of writing you’re proud of:
off the top of my head are these two lines, both from screw the classics:
It was the ‘Daisy, Daisy, Daisy’s, over and over. Like her name conveyed some sort of deeper meaning that she expected Daisy to be able to understand. Like if she repeated it enough, it would become a sort of prayer that God would listen to, that He would enact to make Daisy put her fists away for once in her pitiful life. It was just “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy” over and over until her name stopped sounding like a name, like a word, and it was just a sound to fill the silence so that neither of them would have to talk about the way Basira’s touch lingered each time she wiped blood away or the way Daisy would always sit so that her knees touched Basira’s even though they were on the floor and there was more than enough room for them to breathe different air.
and
But sometimes Jon was easier than Basira. He didn’t have any of Basira’s softness - he was all edges and sharp lines. His elbows were basically knives, and his hips were edged with broken glass.
the first paragraph i really love because there’s almost a rhythm to it - like poetry - and i love the sound of it and all that it means in the context of the fic. 
the second little bit i just love because every so often i think about it and i love the imagery and metaphor and the way it fits jon - in canon and in this fic. in this fic, they’re all in high school so jon is gangly and skinny and bony and in general, he’s just abrasive and a little rude. this description of him i just love (and the way i described him from martin’s pov in doomed from the start; “Jonathan Sims looked, even from a distance, as if he was perpetually smelling something awful. His features, just left of handsome, were marred by furrowed eyebrows and a distasteful frown.”)
8) A comment that touched you:
LITERALLY SO MANY????? the comments on the final chapter of bone tea, telling me that the story was something that they loved and found comfort in, the long comments on any of my fics detailing their exact favorite parts, the comments that were just short jokes that made me laugh out loud - literally i can’t pinpoint one. im just so thankful to have written things that people respond to with such kindness and love
9) Something that inspired your writing:
music!!!!!! i found myself making playlists for a few of my fics this year or listening to specific old playlists of mine for the right mood for a fic, and it’s really inspired me to write
also, as always, my own personal experiences. i thought and felt a lot this year, and i think in every single one of the fics i posted this year, you can probably find a central thought or feeling driving it that no doubt comes from my personal life
10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):
finishing bone tea and tying the title to the fic!!!!!!!! finishing happy endings and also tying that title to the fic!!!!!! getting accepted into two different zines and working with two different amazing artists and completing those fics!!!!!!!! literally writing anything at all!!!!!!!!!
11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?
i think mainly i just want to write, you know? i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself, because this past year i put so much pressure on myself that i was constantly feeling like i was underperforming (which was, like, super untrue, but you know how it goes) so when i wasn’t writing i felt like i was wasting time. i mean, don’t get me wrong, i had so much fun writing and creating all of these things that im so so proud of, it’s just the space in between writing sessions that i want to let myself breathe in. i don’t want to dread thinking about writing for fun anymore because that’s not fun
besides that, i think my other goals are to just continue forward with my unfinished projects - impure, the new wave, the bone tea extras - and to officially start the other two long fic ideas i have for mlb that ive been really excited about for a long while. this past year i wrote a lot of one shots (like. so many. oh my god) so maybe this year i might focus on long projects. who knows though definitely not me it’ll be a surprise for all of us
=
anyway that’s all!! thanks mia and strangerahne for tagging me!! ive been needing a lot of reminders lately that i have, in fact, written this year, and having to, like, do math and scroll through my ao3 page and all my google docs has been really enlightening so thanks so much for this
i tag: @lnc2, @chatnoirinette, @deinde-prandium, and @rosekasa! y’all don’t have to do this, but i’d love to see how y’all felt about your works this year and also to see y’all love yourselves very much because you deserve it. also literally anyone can do this you can just say i tagged you i don’t mind it’ll be our secret - i highly encourage it because it’s very sweet and very fun to look back on all you’ve accomplished this year
<3<3<3<3
#tag game#GOOD LORD.THIS TOOK ME LIKE TWO HOURS KJFBGLKDFJHLSDIHG:SD#i will admit. most of those two hours was spent trying to figure out my word count akjfghlk#also scrolling through my ao3 and linking all my fics that also took a while#BUT REALLY while i was adding up my word count i just kept on staring at the growing number like ????jfc???????#i know ive been posting about it a lot lately but the fact that i have had the audacity to keep on getting antsy over not writing???#literally im ridiculous. OVER 200k WORDS. LITERALLY SHUT UP THAT'S RIDICULOUS.#and the fact that i wrote so much of those words during a pandemic and going through perhaps one of the worst years of my life???#struggling with personal issues and mental issues and school issues and like. SO MANY ISSUES????? HOW#idk this was just so so validating. also terrifying. god#im scared of myself tbh. i have no idea how i did any of this. i feel like i just. blacked out and now im here and FUCK I JUST FUCKJFHLGJSR#IT JUST SUNK IN THAT IT'S 2021 NOW???????? H O W#like logically i knew 2020 would have to end at some point but like most days felt like fucking decades so ??#god. it's a whole new year now. that's fuckng wild bro#im feeling emotional. it doesn't help that im listening to my favorite band (armors) now and it's the song that always brings me to myknees#EMPTY AND WORN YOU CARRY ME HOME NOW YOU'RE LETTING GO OF ME BROKEN AND TORN YOU CARRY ME HOME NOW YOU'RE LETTING GO OF ME#tell me that doesn't send you into a State. you can't. fuck.#(the song is comatose by armors btw)#SPEAKING of armors when i was typing out the fics i had written this year i realized that two fics in a row were named after armors songs#all these selfish feelings (chlonette; lyric from portland by armors) and doomed from the start (jonmartin; lyric from name by armors)#im literally so lame. and that's fine#also i scrolled up just now to check and i realized that i have FOUR FICS IN A ROW NAMED AFTER SONGS???#man i really wasn't kidding when i said i was inspired by music huh sldjfhgsjfh#also in case you're wondering they're all these selfish feelings and doomed from the start and ALSO#wouldn't it be nice (jonmartin; lyrics from wouldn't it be nice by the beach boys)#and my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (adrinette; 11:11 by waterparks)#ANYWAY i should be done with this post now sorry for anyone who is still reading for having to deal with my rambling#and goodnight sweet dreams happy new year ily
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goattypegirl · 4 years
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Harrow the Ninth Live Read: Chapter 6-11
Con: It’s been a while
Pro: We finished part 1!
Con: this post is hella long now.
Chapter 6
Eighth House icon. Oh no. Gotta say, not a fan of the characters from the Eight House in Gideon the Ninth, whose names I now forget. There was Big Dude and Mayonnaise Twink. 
OH OK WE’RE STARTING OFF WITH SOME LOCKED IN SYNDROME SHIT. 
So, panicked person wheeling Harrow is given the title “Sacred Hand.” I vaguely recall seeing that before; is that a title given to Lyctors? Is this one of the OG Lyctors finally making an appearance? Wheeling the frozen Harrow to the Emperor to “unfuck accordingly?” Well, maybe not. Presumably another Lyctor would be able to “unfuck accordingly” themselves.
Oh disregard it is a Lyctor! And if we go back to the Dramatis Personae, this should be... Mercymorn! Originally of the Eighth House! She seems nice.
“It was his order that she not be touched.” Did the Emperor do this? But hwhy?
Calling Harrow and Ianthe babies is kind of hilarious. Aaaand Mercymorn just knocked this random person unconscious. OH wait is this the person the Emperor said to make static-y noises at? Survey says... maybe? They were called the Saint of Joy, which seems a unique title?
The whole description of the Lyctor and the way she visually dissects Harrow is so poetic, but something else catches my eye here. Harrow says her eyes did not have such a startling transition, which helps confirm my theory that Harrow is suppressing or undid the Lyctor process.
Also using the power of Cringe, Harrow partially(?) undoes the paralysis spell done to her. “An emotion was playing out over her face that was- not unfamiliar to you- but nonsensical; you discarded it.” Eh? What emotion could this be referring to? Confusion over what Harrow did? Awe? Fear? All of the above?
OH okay before I forget, Harrow formed a bone hook inside of her to do that, and she made that bone sheath to hold on to the sword, so maybe her necromancy isn’t being suppressed? Well, maybe. That feels more... internal? Like she hasn’t grown any full ass skeletons from bone dust yet.
...Why is Harrow afraid of telling Mercymorn her actual age? Why is the Body telling her to lie? Why fifteen??
Relief? That’s what flashed across Mercymorn’s face? Oh, duh, because Harrow did that and didn’t immediately die. Duh. Also she straight up said “hiss”? That is weird. Also, thinking back, it is weird there wasn’t an age requirement in the Lyctor trials. Also Mercymorn took Ianthe too???
“You’re not as pretty as Anastasia.” Anastasia being the member of the Ninth House listed with the Lyctors, but not as one of the Saints. Doing this liveread has its advantages, namely that I can remember shit that happened earlier! 
OH WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. “AS Anastasia,” not “As Anastasia was.” Implying Anastasia’s still alive? Matches her name not being struck through in the Dramatis Personae, and Mercymorn said there were 3 OG Lyctors now. Which matches with Anastasia not having that line about being a Saint! I’ve connected the two dots!
Okay there’s a lot going on here. Why is this normal necromancer so fascinating to Ianthe and Harrow? What she’s doing is pretty dope to be fair. Mercymorn called Ianthe 12... which... huh. More on that in a second. First, I need to google what the fuck an animaphiliac is... probably in an incognito window. Oh, okay, it’s just a style of necromancy in this universe okay thank God. Mercymorn also said Ianthe wasn’t as attractive as Cyrus... which is weird... And it reminds Ianthe of being with Mummy... I assume she means her mother, comparing her to Coronabeth? Oof.
So, back to the lowballing age thing. Mercymorn assumes Ianthe is 12, probably  because she’s super old and has forgotten how mortals age. Harrow seems to have subconsciously picked up on this, which is why she lied about her age. I’m still in the camp of the Body being non-supernatural in origin. Yes, she has Gideon’s eyes, BUT, she spoke in the voice of Harrow’s mother and Aiglamene. SO, my theory is that the Body is a product of the trauma Harrow’s gone through, that’s kind of externalizing Harrow’s inner thought process. Like I said earlier, I’ve read Twig, and this is reminiscent of that.
OH hey we’re headed to the frontline apparently? Because 3 warships got shot down suddenly? Which begs the question I’ve had in the back of my mind since first picking up this series, who the fuck are they fighting??? Probably not Ressurection Beasts, given what we know about them. Other humans, probably? Dominicus (probably) isn’t Earth or humanity’s home planet. 
Okay, hold up. The Emperor is trying to get to the frontline now, Mercymorn wants him to return to “the Mithraeum”, which is presumably the capital of the Empire outside of the Dominicus system? Also, Emperor’s been on the ship for 80 years, and been away from the Mithraeum for 100... Once again, the math’s not adding up...
Okay, so God hugs Mercymorn, she freezes, he confirms that he is leaving, and that he knows exactly who shot down 3 warships???
Okay cool we’re not headed to the fronline, we’re headed to the Mithraeum, whatever the fuck that is.
Ohhh and the Cohort necromancer girl died, or committed suicide? And the Emperor brought her back? ...There’s a story there.
Ohhhh Mom and Dad are fighting.
OKAY ONCE AGAIN A LOT TO UNPACK HERE BUT THE MITHRAEUM CAN ONLY BE REACHED BY ONE MEANS???? AND IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING A LYCTOR???
...Hey. So. Here’s something. In the description of Mercy’s sword, it says it has a white knob at the end of, and I quote “-you didn’t know the exact technical word. It was a pommel though.” There’s a disconnect there, between Harrow’s knowledge, and the narrator’s knowledge. This has happened a few other times, like just a few pages ago, Harrow says a room is used for bodily functions, but the narrator jumps in and says no one in the universe would call it that, it’s a toilet. And this is going to sound kind of batshit, but like 6 years ago i was in to Undertale, and there was a popular theory that the narrator in that game was a separate character from the PC and... a lot of the points used in that theory kinda ring true here... even the use of second person narration...
So the narrator is a separate character from Harrow? Now, whether this narrator exists in-universe, or if this is a really cool stylistic choice, is another story. Right now I’m leaning towards... I don’t know. Well, hm. If the Body is a kind of externalization of Harrow’s inner thought process, maybe the narrator is an internalization? 
That makes no sense.
Something to keep in mind.
Anyway, the shuttle detaches. There’s a sort of irony, in God being tired of people martyring themselves for him, but giving a speech saying “hey if you die in my service I love you.”
OKAY I think we’re about to go faster than light using necromancy? This should be good. OH OKAY WE’RE TAKING A SHORTCUT THROUGH HELL. COOL.
...so what was their original method of faster than light travel that turned out to be unusable? did it have to do with neutrinos in italy?
okay I love Mercy and the Emperor’s dialogue here. Again, objectively, I’m sure they’re bad people who have committed several warcrimes... but the way they bicker is just hilarious.
I’m googling hyperpotamus, and i’m only getting other Harrow the Ninth livereads, so it appears to be a term made for the book. But I have a terrible feeling it’s a pun on hippopotamus.
There are so many quotes here that I absolutely love, including “said the Lord of the Nine Houses, who apparently existed within a complex power dynamic.”  and “The magma metaphor falls apart from here.” 
...Oh. Okay, serious time. Even at the very start, just post-Resurrection, two of the Lyctors fell to the Resurrection Beasts. Well, one died, and one was “removed from play.” Which sounds horrifying.
So we’re dipping into Hell because you can move fast there. Hell is full of angry ghosts. This explains the ghost ward. Lyctors have hacked the system, and so can kind of survive there. And we learn what happened to Cassiopeia, one of the deceased Lyctors. (Interestingly enough it says she baited physical portions of the Ressurection Beast. Not a beast. Nor is it given a number...)
ALright so entering the River physically sounds fucking horrifying. I’m very glad we only have to do it this once and it definitely won’t come back later in the book nope definitely not.
“and that you felt alone in your head.” ;_;
Chapter 7
Sixth House icon.
There’s not a lot to say here, besides how freaky this is. How much do you want to bet that the faint wail Harrow hears is coming from the coffin with Cyntherea’s body?
JOHN. GOD’S NAME IS JOHN?? #NAME LORE UNLOCKED. IM JUST SO HAPPY I FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO REFER TO HIM WITHOUT STRUGGLING TO SPELL EMPORER EVERY FUCKIN TIME.
Also, Mercymorn knowing his like actual human name further implies some stuff about the timeline of the Ressurection, which I was wondering about previously... but that’s a discussion for later because Harrow’s in Hell!
Not a lot to say here besides 
fuck.
A few things. One. I think they’re going to get out of this okay? And by okay I mean alive? We know Ianthe, the Emperor, and Harrow live up to the point of the Prologue, and I don’t think Mercymorn is going to die already. 
Two. Cassiopeia was from the Sixth House, going by her Cavalier’s last name, which explains the chapter icon.
Three. The lights? The last page or so is very metaphorical, but, at the beginning it says Harrow perceived herself as a “sickly radiance”, and that she perceived the others on the ship as a light as well. She later said she was an “ova cluster of two hundred pinpricks of light.” So I think in this deep part of the River Harrow accidentally sent herself to, souls (maybe?) are displayed as lights. Harrow’s own soul is literally made up of the hundreds of dead House Nine kids, which is. Spooky. But then, at the end, when they jump out of the River, they bring 5 lights with them. So... either something hitched a ride with them, or it has something to do with Harrow suppressing Gideon and the Lyctor ritual. Everyone else on the ship has undergone the Lyctor ritual (or something similar, in John’s case), and they only have 1 light each. At least to Harrow’s eyes. BRUH IDK WHAT”S GOING ON. 
Chapter 8
No further answers here, this is a flashback chapter! So, sheared skull = flashback. And this chapter is going to feature the Fourth House, apparently. Who was Fourth House again? Oh no it was the kids. Oh no. ;_;
So, we are continuing through Harrow’s re-imagination of the events of Canaan House, with her Ortus OC in tow.
Of course Harrow is overwhelmed by normal tea, and of course Harrow thinks dressing up skeletons is stupid. 
AND of course Harrow would have a private prayer wishing doom on anyone that looks at her with any kind of emotion.
Hold up, the Anastasian tomb? Reserved for warriors? And presumably derived from the word Anastasia, the mysterious not-Lyctor of the Ninth House?? 
I can already tell Anastasia is going to become my Pepe Silvia. 
Ohhh this is going to be a lore bomb about the timeline of the Ressurection and I’m going to need to pull out my copy of Gideon the Ninth to see if any of this shit actually happened. 
TEN? TEN NORMAL ASS HUMANS? AND FIVE NECROMANCERS?? BUT THERE WERE SEVEN LYCTORS. THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.
Okay so I checked and none of this shit actually happened! In fact, Teacher actually said there were 16, 8 necromancers, 8 cavaliers. Where the fuck is Harrow getting 10 from? Who knows! And rather than explicitly saying “hey check out the basement labs to see how to become a Lyctor,” Teacher actually said fuck if I know. Not actually. But still.
Oh of course it’s called the Sleeper!! I had Kill Bill sirens playing in my head when I first read that. 
So,  had a whole ass monologue here, but this is already very long and im sleepy, so to very quickly summarize, the Parahumans series had an entity known as the Sleeper that was intentionally very mysterious and raised a lot of questions amongst fans, and the fact that there’s another entity here known as the Sleeper is flooding me.
So, I’m spooked. Again, this entire conversation did not actually happen. Teacher’s dialogue is precious. “go where I durst not go: because I love my life, and I love noise, also.” and “I do not know the answers to any of these questions, only that, already, you are being too loud.”
So, the rest of the chapter plays out with Ortus complaining to Harrow. Intriguingly, he says that Harrow doesn’t have much of an imagination, when she says there was no one else to choose as her Cavalier... And then one of the skeletons says, “Is this how it happens?” harkening back to Parodos, when the Body says something similar. There’s a lot to unpack here. One, like I said previously, because Ortus, and apparently the entirety of Canaan House, is a product of Harrow’s mind, they can maybe give some insight into Harrow herself. However, the fact that Ortus seems to break character and chastise her for her lack of imagination is... I don’t know.
Okay, theory time. “The Work” alluded to in the letters is not only the suppression of Lyctor-hood, it’s also the erasure of Gideon, and the creation of these false memories. Meaning Lyctor!Harrow somehow crafted them; there was conscious effort behind it. Which means we can totally pick these scenes apart to gain further insight into Harrow! The skeleton and the Body asking if this is what happened, and Ortus breaking character (maybe) are her subconscious breaking through... Maybe that ties into my idea of the narrator being an internalization or compartmentalization of Harrow’s trauma? Hmm...
Chapter 9
Seventh House skull, and not a flashback. I’m guessing this is because we’re going to inter Cyntherea’s body here.
Okay, so time seems to have passed. IDK how much of the River Harrow remembers here. It seems like she recalls it like a bad dream. Ianthe’s here, and they’re in a chapel made of bone. Or at least one absolutely covered in bone. 
Here’s a question. The necromancy Harrow excels at, that’s creating a whole ass skeleton from a single bit of bone. Is she actually creating a new skeleton? Or is she reforming one. Like if she had two teeth from the same skeleton, could she use that to make two new skeletons? In the last chapter the Ressurection was described as not creating anything new... does that apply to all of necromancy, or just what the Emperor did?
Also another side note, Harrow says the stars glow with an unearthly light, which matches what the Emperor said, that they restarted the stars near the Mithraeum with thanergy, so they’re weird now. Except... wasn’t Dominicus restarted the same way? Or is the Dominicus system a hybrid of thanergy and thalergy? I’m getting my energies mixed up.
Anyway yep it’s Cyntherea’s funeral, and Harrow is checking the fuck out.
Okay we have a new Lyctor... and I’m guessing it’s Augustine, since he and Mercymorn are fighting.  
Okay and John’s giving a speech and giving more lore about the pre-Ressurrection and it’s confirmed that this guy is Augustine and-
First gen? Second gen? Sixth installation?? Valancy? ANASTASIA?
bruh im so flooded and this is supposed to be such a reverent moment.
Ohhh this is awkward now that they’re pulling Ianthe and Harrow forward. Okay we get a formal introduction to Mercymorn and Augustine. Augustine trails off before the third... and asks if he, the third surviving Lyctor, knows about the missile strikes...Is the third Lyctor the one leading the people who shot down the warships, which is sounding increasingly like a rebellion rather than a battle against others? Who’s the third again ah fuck it’s ORTUS.
ORTUS is apparently interested in “you-know-what”. Which I don’t know what. Please elaborate. 
ORTUS is here and he’s skeletal. OH AND SO IS RESSURECTION BEAST NUMBER SEVEN.
FUCK.
(bruh what the fuck is a pseudo-Beast)
Okay yep time to fight an eldritch god.
Speaking of which, God’s name is John confirmed.
And Harrow bled from the ear and fell unconscious, hearing the name ORTUS.
Chapter 10
Pog we’re almost done with part 1. Fifth skull, sheared, so it’s flashback time. 
I don’t recognize immediately where we are; apparently this is in the library in Canaan House? Though I don’t remember one from Gideon the Ninth. We see a bit of personality from Ortus, when he complains about Fifth House poetry, which is nice. 
Oh, wait, never mind, that was Magnus speaking. Ortus remains as boring as ever.
Hehehehe dick jokes.
Hey so no fake vow of silence in the false memories of Canaan House! That’s interesting. As is Magnus and Abagail being here, and them being pretty fleshed out characters. As are these cooking instructions from the Lyctors...
HOOOOOOOLD the phone here. The cooking notes mention an M and Nigella... which was the first name of Cassiopeia’s cavalier... How would Harrow know that? The easy explanation is that this is a note that Harrow actually found, and is placing here in her fake memories... The other explanation is that something funky is afoot...
Ooohkay Magnus is asking if this is how it happens now. The simulation is breaking down. AND ABAGAIL CAN TELL THAT HARROW IS A LIVING WAR CRIME. PANIC.
Okay now we’re getting Ortus emotion! He is a grown ass man Harrow. At least, he would be, were he not a figment of Harrow’s imagination.
HEEEEY
WHAT THE FUUUUCK
WE’RE CONTINUING ON THIS DYING EGGS THING
PROBABLY WILL BE RELEVANT LATER.
Okay and the simulation breaks down further when Ortus says “you did have a cavalier with a backbone, I’m not them.” Interestingly enough, it’s hours later Harrow realizes something’s weird... Huh...
Chapter 11
Seventh House skull.
Literally just a paragraph saying Harrow sleepwalked and stabbed Cyntherea’s body.
...She sleep walked... the Sleeper from the fake Canaan House...
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swampgallows · 4 years
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im nowhere near ready to upload another chapter of salt the roads, it’s been a pretty slow go with my mental health being in the pits these last few months, but with the news about ao3 i’m not sure if i should upload it there at all. i dont have much confirmation outside that one post as to whether or not that policy is real as it is, but as an adult survivor of child sexual abuse and a survivor of adults creating sexual “fan” content of real life me (drawings, stories, memes [though they were called ‘macros’ back then], photoshop) i dont want my work to share a space with people who cater to pedophiles, nor do i want it on a platform that excuses, or even facilitates, catering to pedophiliac interests. 
ao3′s layout looks better than ffn in my opinion, and it seems to be the go-to for most fanfic, but ive noticed even in my own trawling through the WoW tags that the majority of fics are porn, and a lot of it is full of “taboo” or fringe kinks. 
it even affected my overall trajectory of writing salt the roads: i was so anxious that nobody would read my story unless i put sexual content in it that i put a disclaimer at the beginning that there would be some, in hopes that people would click it and give it a try anyway. i wrote two sex scenes for str, one of which “fades to black”, and one that is more explicit. the explicit scene i wrote genuinely as a practice of my own writing ability: i wanted to challenge myself to write a scene where the partner’s genitals remained ambiguous to avoid breaking the Reader’s immersion. 
this has been one of my goals for STR the entire way, which is why i do my best not to describe any physical traits of the reader beyond the injuries, and to carefully word referential dialogue so that i don’t use any pronouns. “it” is used only in the most derogatory manner, chiefly when the orcs are discussing the human as an object or animal (rather than a thing without a gender). i also didnt want to use the “they/them” shortcut, as 1. some people are quite uncomfortable with they/them as “default” pronouns and 2. it can be a little confusing in text imo, especially when referring to different individuals within a group, and in avoiding physical descriptions too i didnt want it to be like “the human xyz” over and over. there’s already quite a bit of that as it is.
part of the reason this next chapter is taking so long is because it had a sex scene in it which i have, so far, entirely gutted. i wrote it back in 2016 so the tone of the work has changed, as well as the pacing, and i wasn’t really happy with it anyway. but the intention was also polluted, as i felt i needed to inject sex into my story to make it worth the ao3 audience’s time. the remaining sex scene will stay for the reasons above, but it’s ultimately a “skippable cutscene”. ive considered even uploading it as its own chapter so that it’s entirely skippable, and even writing an author’s note at the bottom that says "this is the only sex scene. if that’s why youre here you can stop reading now” LOL. i figure people just open it up, hit “entire work”, ctrl+F for a bunch of synonyms for penis and then leave anyway. 
im going to back up the work as it is on ao3 regardless, as i consider that the ‘finalized/published’ version. since i write in notepad i do have some html tags here and there but everything else is raw-encoded on ao3 at the time of upload. my end of the year project i guess can be mirroring the upload to FFN (wattpad seems to have a much younger crowd, and my work is not intended for audiences under 18). 
while i appreciate all the good ao3 does... even 4chan removed its lolicon board within its first year of operation. it didn’t prevent cp from being uploaded, not by a long shot, but its rules at least condemned pedophiles from using it as a base of operations. hopefully ao3 will consider updating its policies but in the meantime i will work on mirroring salt the roads on ffn. whether i upload the new chapter to ao3 will depend on whether or not the policy has changed by the time it’s done.
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bbrandy2002 · 5 years
Text
Happy Birthday Burnsy!
@burnsoslow​
Burns,
You probably don't remember this, but the first time I ever talked to you was a reply to your comment on my fic, The Breakfast Club, in early July. I'm not sure what possessed you to reach out to me a week later in chats but, you did and its been one wild and crazy ride since then. You've certainly come a long way since we were new and mulling over those earlier stories-or in your case-Heavier Things, Chapter 1 (YOU ARE STILL WRITING THAT...LOL) . And while you have sooooo many friends here, for some reason you chose me to be your Tumbler Bestie. I hope you know you are so much more than that though ... you're my sister, my twinsie, a truly good friend. You've inspired me in ways you'll never know. I have watched you grow in your craft and reach an unprecedented level of talent that is evidenced in the quality of your work and through the amount of enthusiastic readers who can't wait for you to post the next epic chapter. You did it all through a tremendous amount of hard work, lot of tears and because you have a likeness that draws people to you. You're just truly an incredibly, special person who possesses a certain spark that makes this crazy place even better. And I think I tell you enough, but you really are one of the best writers in this fandom. And as you say to me all the time, I'm gonna say to you ... I'm one proud TBFF!! I can't thank you enough for all the late night laughs, bull sessions, real talks, 6 hour chats about nothing, letting me know when I'm being a dumbass or just being there when things get really, really tough. The fic I wrote isn't anything special and definitely could have been better, however I hope in some small way it captures the essence of our crazy friendship. Keep growing and shining and being your amazing self.
Love you my friend and Happy Birthday!!
Brandy
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**You asked for Drake, Alyssa, Riley and Liam shenanigans. I don't know if this will be what you were expecting, but its what I came up with after 20 different versions. You'll recognize some of this as inside jokes or dialogue and situations from your own stories (yep, I stole them...lol). This is wacky and crazy and makes no sense. Okay Im shutting up now.
Thank you @sirbeepsalot for gutting the hell out of this on Monday night and @emceesynonymroll for SO MUCH of your help and suggestions. Also to my lovely pre-readers/keep me saners @jessiembruno and @loveellamae
Song Inspiration: You're Still The One by Shania Twain. **Drakes final dialogue will come from these lyrics.
Alyssa pulled her black mini-van through the palace gates, running over a cone and nearly taking out Michael, the security guard, in the process. Her hair was swept up into a very messy bun and her sunglasses were perched atop her head. She was wearing a blue, faded Bears sweatshirt, black leggings with a small hole in the crotch, and a mismatched pair of flip-flops -- both were for the left foot. Unable to find a close parking space, she double-parked her van in two handicapped-accessible spaces. She checked her reflection in the rear view mirror and wiped away the smudges of mascara that had run below her eyes. 
She was hurt and mad as hell, yet waited until, 'DIRRTY’, finished on the radio before shutting the van off and tossing the keys in her oversized mom purse. Alyssa’s dainty fingers fumbled hastily as she tried to release the lock on her seatbelt with no luck. "You son of a bitch! Let me go!"
After pulling and tugging, twisting and karate chopping at it as hard as she could, she finally freed herself.
“HAHA! MOTHERFUCKER! GOTCHA!”
Alyssa snatched her purse and cell phone before she swung the door open, hopped out, and kicked the door shut. Still mumbling obscenities, she walked a few paces before turning back around and hitting the van’s hood with her swinging purse. “Fucking hold me hostage like that again and I’m driving your ass into a ravine!” 
Everyone who knows Alyssa Walker would say she is generally a fun, loving, and sociable little woman. She’s a devoted wife who has been married to the man of her dreams for several years and a wonderful mother to their children. She's very successful professionally, having served as the Royal Education Director for 8 years. A social butterfly of sorts, she’s been known to give Maxwell a run for his money, in regards to being considered the life of any party. On most days, Alyssa is typically outgoing and joyful.
Today is not one of those days.
Her flip flops were barely hanging on as she trudged across the lawn that led to the palace gardens,  thoughts of her morning crossed her mind. 
For every single birthday since marrying Drake, she would wake up to the smell of bacon, scrambled eggs, and french toast wafting through the cabin. She would lay in bed and pretend to sleep until Drake and the kids burst in with a tray full of freshly prepared foods, a hot cup of coffee, and a glass of orange juice. They would shower her with kisses and hugs, sing Happy Birthday, and then wait anxiously as Alyssa took the first bite to see if their mother approved of the time and effort they put into making her birthday morning special. When she finished, like clockwork, Drake would send the kids outside with the eldest child and give Alyssa a gift that only he could give her; one that required the skilled use of his lips, hands, and the colossus that was his … well … colossus.
Except, there were no bacon, eggs, or french toast. There were no kids jumping on the bed to wish her a happy birthday and fighting over which one hugged her first. Drake did not send the kids away when she finished her breakfast nor had she risen from the bed barely able to walk from the most mind-blowing sex she’d ever had. 
None of the things she expected happened. 
When Alyssa woke up this morning no one was home. All she found was a letter by the coffee pot from Drake, telling her the kids went with Maxwell for the day and that he would see her after work. To make things worse, her 20 attempts to call him that morning went straight to voicemail.
Drake had been working late and acting shady for months, telling her he was helping Liam take care of some horses they were preparing for next month's derby. Lately, she was beginning to wonder if there was something more he wasn’t telling her.
Now she was late for her luncheon with Riley.
As Alyssa rounded the corner that entered the gardens, she saw Riley on the patio arranging a tray of fresh fruit and sandwiches on the table. An array of metallic birthday balloons danced and bounced from the chairs with the changing breeze. Alyssa frowned with resentment towards her best friend of over 20 years. Bitch is still in her 30s.
Riley’s focus was averted when she heard the sound of rustling leaves behind her. She turned on her heels and said, “Happy 40th Birthday, Old Lady!” Her cheery voice trailed off when she caught sight of her disheveled friend. 
“Lyss? What the hell happened to you? You look like shit.”
Alyssa strode past Riley and threw her purse on the ground beside a chair before she slumped down into it.
Riley furrowed her brows with a snicker. “Bad day?”
Alyssa reached for a strawberry and dipped the entire berry, stem and all, into a dish of melted chocolate before leaving behind a trail of droplets from the dish to her mouth. As she chewed, she mewled. “Ma life if ofer!”
Riley scrunched up her face and arched back in an attempt to avoid the spittle of food that sprayed from her friend’s full mouth. She sighed heavily, grabbed a napkin, and wiped away the chunks of fruit-and-chocolate-mixed saliva that landed on her arm. “Oookaay, what’s going on? Why is your life over?”
Alyssa threw the stem on her plate and leaned forward into the table, gesticulating dramatically. “He didn’t tell me happy birthday, Ri! There was no breakfast, there was no spoiling, there was no fucking, colossus dick! There was nothing!”
“Who? Drake?”
“No, fucking Santa Clause! Of course Drake.”
Riley bit into her sandwich as Alyssa complained about Drake’s lack of attentiveness over the past few months. It wasn't the first time her friend had mentioned this to her; however, judging by how upset she was and the fact that she was dressed like a $2 hooker, she knew it was really serious now. 
Alyssa continued to point out how Drake was always working and, supposedly, was helping Liam out with the horses too. When he returned home each night, his clothes were sweaty and dirty but never smelled like horse shit. To make things worse, the sex had dwindled. Alyssa could give up a lot of things in life, but Drake's dick was not one of them.
“I know he’s cheating, Ri,” she lamented, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.
“Nooo.”
“YES! He’s found another woman … someone younger, sluttier, who hasn't popped out a bunch of kids!”
Riley scoffed. “Lyss, everyone knows Drake worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure there is a good reason why he hasn’t paid as much attention to you lately.”
“But he KNOWS I’m needy and clingy and desperate for love!” she wailed.
Riley lifted the napkin from her lap and tossed it on the table. Her friend was a hot mess -- a more than usual hot mess -- and she wanted to help. She stood and walked around the table to her grieved friend and grabbed her tiny hand. “Come on.”
Alyssa’s weepy eyes stared up at her in confusion before she let out a small sniffle. “Where are we going?”
“We are going to the stables. You said he is there today, so let's go talk to him.”
Alyssa sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I’m not going, Ri. He needs to come to me!”
Riley began pulling on her friend's arm, but Alyssa was not being very cooperative with her efforts. “Get your ass out of the chair, Lyss, and go get your man.”
Alyssa pulled back harder. “Get off me, you skank ass ho!”
Riley continued to tug at her, surprised there was so much strength in such a little body. “Bitch, I will drag your ass and this chair all the way to the stables!” 
“I’d like to see you try, dumbass!”
With a hard jerk from Riley, Alyssa’s chair tipped over and she landed on the ground. Her resolve never once faded. While Riley continued to tug at her arm, Alyssa reached over and grabbed her broken flip flop and began smacking vigorously back at her. 
Riley immediately let go of her and stumbled backwards. “You have gone insane!” she groaned. “I tried to help you and, if this is how you’re gonna act, leave me out of it!” She turned to walk away and glanced back quickly. “You know the way out.”
“Ri … wait.” Alyssa called out softly to her.
Riley stopped and quirked her brow with a huff. “What?”
“Can palace security take us down? You know my ass ain’t walking that far.”
Riley called for a guard to take the 30-second drive to the stables. Both girls hopped off the cart and entered the empty barn. Riley called out for members of the stable staff while Alyssa’s eyes roamed the perimeter for her husband.
“Your Majesty? Did you need something?”
Riley turned to face the man in charge as he walked around the corner wiping his hands off with an old cloth. Before she could acknowledge him, Alyssa popped in front of her, nearly knocking her over.
“Eric!! Where’s Drake?”
The Queen smiled at the stable manager. “Eric, we’re looking for Drake.”
He looked between the two women, confusion etched across his face. “Is he supposed to be here, ma’am?”
Riley looked at Alyssa, who looked like she was ready to snap at his question, then back to Eric. “Um … yes. He told Mrs. Walker here that he would be helping in the stables today.”
“Hell … I’d say its been a good --” Eric paused to calculate before turning his attention back to the women. “--three  … maybe four weeks since I last saw Walker here. Came down with King Liam to take the newest horse, Driam, out for a ride … it made me real hard ma’am”
“Hold the fuck up!” Alyssa yelled with one hand on her hip and the other covering her forehead. “He told me he has been helping out here for the last several months. Is that not true?”
Eric, realizing what is going on, backed up defensively. He could sense this was not something he wanted to be a part of. “Nope. I'm not getting in the middle of your marital woes, Ms. Alyssa.” I just want in the middle of your husbands.
Alyssa approached him and aggressively poked at his chest. “Oh, you are in so far in the middle of my woes now, Ricky boy! So drop the bros before hoes bullshit and spill what you know.”
Riley grabbed both of Alyssa's shoulders from behind and pulled her aside. “It’s not his fault, Lyss. Plus … I think Eric’s the ho in this case”
Alyssa shrugged her away and began to pace back and forth frantically. “I’m seeing sounds, Ri. I am seeing fucking sounds all over this bitch!”
“Oh God, Lyss! No!  Don’t look at the sounds ... Don’t look at the sounds” She turned her frantic friend around to face her, squeezing her arms soothingly. “Look at me.”
Alyssa’s lips quivered as she stared back at her best friend. “I’ve lost him, Ri. I’ve lost him.”
“No, you haven’t.”
Alyssa sniffled through her tears and wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve. “Can me and the kids live with you now that I’m a single mother with a cheating ass husband?”
Riley pulled her into a hug, rubbing comfortingly along her back. “Of course you can, but maybe we should talk to Liam first.”
Lyss wiped her tear-stained face on Riley's shoulder and pulled back. “Liam loves me. He won’t care if I stay with you.”
Riley smiled with a nod. “Yes, he does love you, but Drake loves you too and you know that. There has to be a good explanation for everything.”
“Then why did he lie? He’s never lied to me, Ri.”
Riley gave her friend a sympathetic frown and shrugged. “I don’t know, girl, but let’s find out”
Palace security was once again summoned to haul the girls back to the palace.
Liam was in his office taking part in a video conference with Queen Elizabeth when his door burst open.
“WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!”
His eyes went wide as he cut them to the flash of Alyssa barging in and stopping behind him at his desk; Riley was just a step behind her. Liam’s face flushed as he looked back at the camera and apologized for the interruption.
“Alyssa, dear,” he whispered. “Now is not a good time.” He motioned to the video feed on his laptop.
Alyssa turned to the laptop with the 106-year-old Queen’s face still illuminating from it. “Turn the hearing aid down, Lizzie! Unless you know where Drake is, this conversation doesn’t concern you!”
“ALYSSA!!” Liam stood, towering over her petite frame. “Are you coming for your King?” (had to put that in there lol).
“Liam, she's had a rough day and, remember, we love Alyssa,” Riley interjected with an innocent smile.
“We do, but she can’t just barge in here while I’m working!”
Alyssa grabbed his tie and yanked him down closer to her face. “Please, just tell me you know where Drake is. He said he was working for you and he’s not. He didn’t tell me happy birthday, he didn’t make my breakfast, and he didn’t fuck my brains out this morning!”
“Oh My!”
Alyssa turned back to the laptop. “I thought I told you to turn your hearing aid down, you old coot!”
Liam’s hands covered his face in embarrassment as he fell back into his chair. 
Alyssa crouched down in front of Liam and pulled his hands from his face. “Real talk, Li. Did you or did you not ask Drake to work for you?”
He stared at her for a moment with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He knew exactly where his best friend was and what he was doing -- he had known for months -- but he couldn’t tell her that. 
Nervous, Liam knew there was one way to solve this problem. He reached over to his intercom and pressed the call button. “Bastien.”
A split second later, the door to Liam’s office opened and the head guard entered. “Your Majesty?” he said as he bowed.
“Yes, could you see Alyssa and my wife out, please.”
Exasperated with Liam's request, Alyssa stood back up and eyed Bastien with a steely glare. “I’m not afraid of this bitch! He’s the one who raised the man whore my husband became with all his hookers and shit. My children are fatherless now because of you!”
Refusing to leave, Alyssa plopped down on Liam’s lap and gripped the armrests of his chair tightly with both hands. Her bony ass caused him to yelp as it dug into the muscles of his thigh. She reached for Liam’s scotch  and took a sip before leaning down so that her face could be picked up by the camera.
“Alright, Liz, help a fellow girl out here! You have a lot of experience with a cheating ass spouse and son … should I rip his big, beautiful nuts off? Orrrr … just take it up the ass like you did?"
The Queen of England clutched her chest with an exasperated expression. "Little lady … your behavior is simply prudish and insulting. I highly suggest you learn proper etiquette when addressing me … and, as for your husband, I can see why the poor man's eyes have roamed with such an immoral and, need I dare say, crazed woman such as yourself for a wife."
"Conversation over, bitch!" Alyssa threw the rest of Liam’s drink at the screen, hoping it drenched the queen and slammed the laptop shut.
"God Dammit!" Liam yelled out while he wrapped his arms around her from behind before standing up and handing her off to his guard.
With Bastien holding Alyssa in his arms, her little legs dangling and kicking at his shins, Riley took action.
The Queen grabbed her friend's feet, which were now bare from her crumbled flip flops, and tried with all her might to pull her back.
"You’re gonna break her hip, Bastien! She's an old, feeble woman now! She could have osteoporosis or the menopause!”
Giving their best efforts to escape, including Alyssa's teeth being firmly sunk into Bastien’s upper arm, neither were able to overpower his strength. 
While carrying Alyssa and dragging Riley -- who was still holding onto her friends legs -- Bastien was able to get the two of them out of Liam's office and into the main corridor.
Alyssa followed Riley back to her quarters, where she was given a pair of flip-flops and new leggings from Riley’s 12-year-old daughter’s closet. The hole in the crotch of her leggings had completely blown out during the struggle with Bastien. There were still no answers or replies from Drake, and Alyssa was beginning to feel utterly hopeless. 
Alyssa started to raid the royal couple’s liquor cabinet, happy to swipe a bottle of Balkan vodka, when Riley had an idea. She snapped her fingers with a sly grin. “I know someone who can help us find Drake.”
“Who?” 
The ladies left the quarters and walked downstairs to the ballroom. Once inside, Alyssa took a hard swig of vodka and eyed the utility closet Riley stopped in front of with a questioning look. 
The Queen gave four quick knocks followed by two slow ones and the door unlocked. Mara had been working out of this closet for years, having been fired after a fall out with Alyssa during a costume ball that nearly got her killed. The former guard walked in there during that ball and just never came back out. Riley and Bastien were the only two people who knew about this and told no one -- Bastien purely for comical reasons and Riley for a certain skill the woman possessed.
Alyssa was surprised to find the woman hiding out there after all these years. "I thought you fired her ass! I nearly got a traumatic brain injury and hearing loss from her incompetence!" 
"Shhh!" Riley pulled her friend inside, peeking around the ballroom to ensure no one was looking, and shut the door quickly. 
Riley explained how Liam revoked her cell phone pinging privileges with the guards before the costume ball all those years ago. Apparently, he wasn't too keen on her stalking the entire cast of Friends. He did what he had to do when a restraining order from Matthew Perry came across his desk. Mara, however, was still able to ping into anyone’s phone, thus, the Queen allowed her to stay.
“That's amazing,” Alyssa remarked. She pursed her lips as she scanned the tight space of the closet. “Can she find … maybe … Dwayne Johnson?”
Riley nodded. “Bitch can find anyone.” She looked to Mara, who was sitting at her desk, and winked with approval.
“Okay,” Alyssa clapped and leaned over Mara’s shoulder. “Let’s find him … I wanna know where Drake is!”
Within several seconds, an unfamiliar address popped up on the screen. It was close to the Walker cabin but still not somewhere Alyssa knew of.
She reached for a pen and a pad of paper from Mara’s desk and started to write down the location. “I can’t believe he lied to me this whole time! I must be really stupid for him to think he could actually get away with this.” Alyssa tossed the pen back on the desk and ripped the sheet of paper off the pad. “They’re gonna write a country song about me, Ri,” she cried. “Poppa’s in the graveyard and Momma’s in the pen! I just need a shotgun and for my damn dog to run away and I’ve got a hit!”
The two snuck out of the utility closet and ran to Alyssa’s van. Alyssa pulled the ticket for double parking in handicapped spaces from her wiper blade and threw it in her glove box with the rest of her parking tickets.  Riley shoveled away the piles of empty, diet coke cans and cheese whisps bags from the passenger seat  into the parking lot when she opened her door. 
Alyssa squealed her tires as she burned rubber down the palace drive, taking out the same cone again, nearly running down Michael again, and driving straight through the lowered arm of the security gate.
“WOOOO!” Riley yelled as they sped through the streets of Cordonia into the countryside. “This is just like old times in college, huh, Lyss?”
“I suppose. We’re just not high as fuck.” Alyssa raised her eyebrows and grinned slyly with an all too familiar gleam in her eyes that Riley recognized immediately. “Say … grab my purse, Ri.”
“Oh God! I know that look. We're gonna get smashed aren't we?"  Riley extended her arm behind the driver's seat. Alyssa reached into the side pocket of her purse and pulled out the rolled up, clear baggie and tossed it to her friend.
Unrolling the bag, Riley began to bounce in her seat with anticipation of smoking weed for the first time in 15 years. The excitement quickly faded.
“Um, Lyss?”
“Hmm?”
“I know I haven’t smoked pot in a while, but this looks like a bag of carrot sticks.”
“Give me that, dumbass!” Alyssa glanced over and snatched the bag. She held the bag over the steering wheel and examined it for herself. “Well fuck!! Looks like one of my kids had a really interesting snack yesterday at school. Oh well”
After a twenty-minute drive from the palace into a forested section of Cordonia, Alyssa and Riley stopped in front of a long gravel road. Riley double-checked the address on the van’s GPS with what was written on the paper.
“It says this is it. Look’s kind of desolate,” Riley mused, not sure where the isolated road would lead.
Alyssa turned the steering wheel of her van, probably a little too tipsy to drive considering she had consumed a quarter of a bottle of vodka (that the author of this story forgot about). They made it there, nonetheless, and no one was hurt. Never drink and drive!!
Lush, plentiful trees and a wooden fence lined the gravel road that seemed to lead to nowhere until they came upon a clear view of Lake Cordonia. Drake’s truck was sitting in front of a large wooden cabin with a huge, flat yard and one of the most stunning views of the lake either woman had seen anywhere. Alyssa tried to keep it together ... until she didn’t. When she saw Drake standing on the front porch, casually drinking a beer, shirtless and wiping his forehead with his denim shirt, she skidded the van into park next to his truck. 
Drake’s eyes widened when he saw his wife get out of the van wielding an ice scraper in one hand and a tire iron in the other, a look of pure hell in her eyes. 
He took a small step back. He hadn’t seen her like this since a drunken Olivia grabbed his ass at a Beaumont Bash two years ago. Drake waved his hands in front of her defensively. “Baby girl … wh … what’s going on right now?”
“Don’t you baby girl me!” Alyssa threw the ice scraper and Drake ducked just in time as it flew over his head.
Drake had no idea what the hell she was so pissed off about, but she was approaching him quickly and twirling the tire iron in her hands. He jumped over the railing of the porch and took off running around the side of the house. As he rounded the rear corner of the home, he ran directly into Riley, who was waiting to block him. The plan was a good one -- it really was -- but her thin frame was no match against the much larger Drake. With a hard thud, Riley fell backward, which caused his body to trip over her and land face down on the ground.
Drake rolled over on his back and shook his head in an attempt to get the daze out of his frazzled brain. There she was, standing over him, holding the tire iron like a bat, ready to pounce him without a second thought.
“Baby! Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“You … you’re a cheater and a liar!”
Drake went to sit up but laid back down when Alyssa flinched the hardened steel at him. “The fuck you talking about, Lyssa?”
With months of building suspicions and hurt, Alyssa took a long, deep breath and let it all out with a wail.
“I’m talking about the late nights, the shady-as-shit lies you have spewed to me over and over again. I’m talking about you missing out on dinners, coming home and falling on the bed without a word to anyone. I’m talking about only having sex with me every other day and forgetting my birthday. Now, me and the kids have to live with Liam, who hates me now because I told Queen Elizabeth she got fucked in the ass! It’s because I’m old now, isn’t it? You wanna be a Bastien and have bunga bunga sex parties with skank ass whores who have big boobies and wear their panties around their ankles! And … I just can’t compete, Drake … I just can’t.”
Drake held his hand up to block any sudden swings in his direction. “Can I get up?”
Alyssa nodded her head before she turned away from him and dropped the tire iron to the ground. “Just tell why, dammit?” she whimpered. “Was I not enough?!”
“Not enough? NOT ENOUGH?!!” He quickly rose to his feet, twisted her around and brought her flush against his hard body. With tears in his eyes, he kissed the top of her head, his thick hands sunken into her lush, brown hair.  He was barely able to mutter a single word. He was visibly shaken and broken by her accusations and that she held those feelings about herself for so long.
With both hands now on the sides of her face, he tilted her head so that she was looking directly at him. “Alyssa!” he sobbed softly. “Don’t you dare ever say you aren’t enough for me … ever! You’re literally my whole world. In every single life, in any alternate universe … I choose you every single time. And you wanna know what I’ve been doing? Look!” He turned her around to face the house.
“This is what I’ve been doing all those months! I built it, with my bare hands, just for you, for your birthday. I wanted you to have a bigger home so you could get out of that small cabin and have the view and the yard you always dreamt of. I wasn’t cheating and I didn't forget your birthday.  I just wanted you to have everything you deserve”
Alyssa gave Drake a quizzical look. “But … you’re terrible at woodworking.”
Drake chuckled. “Maybe I love you enough I learned.”
Alyssa sunk to her knees, not to give a blow job, but realization and understanding of the last few months had set in. She stared up at the beautiful, two-story log cabin that had every bit of her husband’s heart and soul for her in it and wept. “Drake.” Her voice was raspy and full of guilt. “I’m so, so sorry.’
He crouched down behind her and wrapped his loving arms around Alyssa before placing a gentle nip at her ear. “You've nothing to be sorry for. I guess I gave you plenty of reasons to think that, but I was crunched for time and wanted to surprise you. Just hope you like it.”
“It’s magnificent … and it’s our home?”
“It's our home. Happy Birthday, Baby girl.”
Drake and Alyssa checked on Riley, who was still knocked out cold. After assisting her and giving her a moment to collect herself, Alyssa thanked her friend for all of her help and gave her the keys to the van to return home in.
Drake showed his wife around their new cabin, pointing out the lowered cabinets in the kitchen that would be easier for her to reach. He had built her a library where she could work from and read without the noise and chaos of a house full of children running around. She was thrilled over the balcony that sat just off their bedroom, overlooking the lake and featuring private jacuzzi tub where they could relax together and, of course, have sex in.
Drake took her outside and walked down to the lake, where he had  put a gazebo in overlooking the water and ushered her to the center of it. 
“Drake! This is amazing. How did you know I wanted this?”
He drew her closer to him and kissed the tip of her nose. “I know everything about you, Lyssa … there’s nothing I wouldn’t give you.”
She smiled up at him lovingly. “And I love you so much for it.”
He reached for one of her tiny hands, brought it to his chest, and wrapped his other arm around her back. With very little room between them, he kissed her lips tenderly. “Dance with me, Alyssa.”
Alyssa gave him a knowing look with a grin. “Drake Walker doesn’t like to dance.”
He began to sway with her to music that wasn’t there, but he felt it in his heart. “Drake Walker will always dance with his girl.” Kissing her once more, they began to slowly dance together and Alyssa had never felt more alive or loved in her life. He has that effect on her--always had and always will.
He spun her in a twirl and pulled her tiny body back into his own. “Ya know, Lyssa … when I first saw you, I saw love.”
Drake reached down and lifted the bottom of her sweatshirt over her head and tossed it on a nearby bench. He caressed her cheek and trailed a gentle line down her neck and across her shoulder. “And the first time you touched me, Baby Girl ...I felt love.”
His lips found that sweet spot just behind her ear before he whispered to her. “And after all this time ...”
Drake’s thumb grazed across her bottom lip before he stared into the blue eyes of his yesterday, today, and forever. “You’re still the one I love.”
What happens next? .......
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Emma in the night Book review.
Hello there my lovelies, I know its been a little while since I last posted and I have honestly missed doing this so much, so thank you to anyone still here and still supporting me, it means the absolute world. 
As everyone is fully aware 2020 was an awful one but hopefully this year we can aim for a little more positivity and happiness, which is why im back today with a review of my first read of this year and bloody hell did I pick a goodun! So this is my first review for my first book of 2021, enjoy! 
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The writing style
One of my favourite things about this book was the different points of view you get to experience and how well they mesh together. For example, we are told very early on that the events Cass is recalling aren’t exactly what you would call accurate and that she has spent months planning and creating this false narrative in an order to manipulate the people she's describing them to (which in itself is something I always get drawn into, the mystery and the need to figure out the characters motives and intentions along side the biggest question of all WHY?! Which is a question will find yourself screaming at the pages) This is made very apparent from the use of the choppy and restrictive way that these scenes are written. Wendy also somehow manages to create a feeling of desperation and messiness whilst having the characters maintaining such a mellow and collected exterior, you know the calm before the storm! Which is such a jarring feeling but one that realty captured and immersed me. A feeling I don’t think is easy to convey through a book format. That in itself is a testament to Wendy’s talent as a writer.
When you compare Cass’ chapters and inner dialogue to detective Abby’s they are so different but when they are looked at side by side they create a very interesting contrast that as I said before works so well, while there is a calm chaos to Cass’ words there is in turn a very structured and balanced feel to Abby's, almost a little detached like you were reading sections cut directly from a police case file. Through this constant difference in characters POVS the story flowed flawlessly and at the perfect pace for a thriller book. 
The climax of the book was not just shocking but also depicted so well in how the writing matched the pace of the reveal, the whole book alternates between cass and Abby with each chapter assigned to one of the characters but towards the end you see that the different POVs are whittled down to single sentences or just a few paragraphs that get shorter and shorter as the tension builds, creating this intense feeling of panic, alert and fear. A method that I swear had my heart physically racing at the end! It was like watching a classic cat and mouse scene play out in my hands/
I also have to mention that very last chapter. I'm sorry for waffling on but please bare with me. For a book based around secrets and deception the ending was that of a perfect one because of its ability to make you feel like after reading it you now share a secret with Cass and you are now part of this extremely messed up story and family, you have this understanding of her whole character and her motives which really brings everything full circle.
The character development:
The character development in this book is one of the best ive seen in awhile with each character being incredibly layered and yet undeniably flawed. Its done in such a human way that it doesn’t feel too far fetched like some thrillers ive read in recent years. Ensuring that all of the emotions tied in with said characters hit 10 times harder than that of those very basic 2 dimensional characters, even the worst people in this story have a difficult background or some type of abusive past, just a catalyst for their behaviours and characteristics and by gradually being informed of them you and being given the bigger picture you almost create an individual relationship and opinion on them ranging from hatred to pity. We get amazing development in every single one even the seemingly unimportant ones because even they are given enough backstory to still secure a connection of some kind with them, something I know we can all appreciate as readers.
The relationships.
The main relationship ill focus on is that of the sisters Cass and Emma. I know there are a lot of relationships in this book that over lap and intertwine in really interesting and sometimes awful ways but as these two characters are the basis of our main storyline it makes a little more sense to focus the attention on them
As a huge plot point throughout the story we see that due to the actions of their mother and her lack of genuine maternal instinct and well, love we see the girls in this constant battle of who can earn their mothers love trust and affections first. Which was so heart breaking to read, through their mothers constant manipulation and abuse we see them fighting the resentment and distance that they know is growing between them and sadly a lot of the time losing because of Mrs. Martins influence and involvement. Its very obvious when reading about their mother that her abuse is based around the fear she feels at the idea of any kind of alliance that the girls could potentially form with each other, god forbid they turn against her and out her as a bad mother! So she decides its easier to create a wedge between the two of them by openly favouring one over the other which unfortunately results in a lot of cruel actions from Emma direct at Cass, creating another toxic relationship and situation for the girls to live in. Although we do get the occasional glimpse at these really beautiful and raw moments of sisterhood and love they share deep down. After seeing so much pain in their story it made these moments just that little bit more special and down right beautiful which was a part that i especially adored.
The themes:
In its relatively short amount of pages this book manages to explore a huge variety of themes from love and obsession to betrayal abuse and manipulation, which lets be honest is everything you want in a good thriller book but usually when a writer takes on this many themes I always find some of them are either touched upon very quickly then dismissed and never revisited or thought of again or done so badly with such a lack of care that its obvious they were just included for the author to be able to say they've hit all the key themes a reader would expect a good thriller to hit. Yet Wendy manages to not only explore all of these and more, but manages to do it well and so subtly you don't notice until you sit back and think about them all which to me just shows a writers real talent.
The psychology:
Another huge part of this book and something I adored were the analysis parts of the book, the in-depth look into narcissism and its effects on the children it surrounds.  We are constantly listening to Detective Abby explaining and exploring the characteristics of the people Cass is talking about in her chapters, exploring the connections and the risk factors associated with such a serious disorder as narcissistic personality disorder. I found this to give the story and writing some real merit, it felt like i was reading a psychology book and getting down to the real science of why characters work the way they do and giving the reader a chance to explore it themselves instead of just being told this person has this which is something I cant stand in books. Instead of investing time and effort into helping guide you to a conclusion or even showing you they just tell you this is how it is and expect that to be enough. So frustrating! None the less, this is something I haven't experienced in another book and a technique I hope to see more of!
Similar books:
When reading this I got very strong sharp objects vibes, the fractured relationship between families, focusing on mother and daughter, a highly manipulative mother, an obsession with public facades and the desperate need to keep up appearances and so much more! If you liked sharp objects you will love this, as Emma in the night has all of the important story beats and intrigue that sharp objects has but more intensity and a faster paced story something I felt was missing when I read SO’S.
Over all I adored this book, as you can probably tell and considering it is my first Wendy walker book I can safely say i have fallen in love! I can promise you now this will not be my last read from her collection. I was captivated by her story and her writing which is why i couldn’t recommend this more!
A very very easy 5/5. 
so that's it, thanks for reading my review, i really hope you enjoyed it! sorry if I waffled at all its been awhile since ive written any reviews and am still getting my bearings with it again so please be patient with me. Hope you have a fab week my lovelies, Bye!
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