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prolix-yuy · 9 months ago

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Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

#prolix wips #I'm sorry I've been away for so long!#but I'm back!#if there are things I missed please tag me or send them!#I want to read all your stories!

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moons-of-dewclan · 1 year ago

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I was curious how to get your clan really set off? I recently (LIKE EARLIER TODAY JFJSJFJ) started my own clangen blog but idk if it's worthy of Tumblr😭

How can I improve my art and improve my process? You're one of my BIGGEST inspirations ngl you're literally him (or her or they I'm so sorry I never caught your pronouns) but I was just curious on how to be better? If you wanna look, don't. It's like, rlly bad so.... save your eyes. Have a lovely nighttt <33

HELLOOOOO I'M NOT 100% SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY SET OFF I'M SORRY :{ if you mean to get people reading it, i think it's vastly just luck also appealing to an audience by accident i posted my art online for 10 years (i started posting in 2010 as a wee ka- told you i'm an adult haahahueu) before anyone showed consistent interest and i valued those two or so commenters who occasionally had something to say about my stuff, so much LAKSNLKD. that entire decade i got between 2 and 30 favourites for every piece i posted- usually between 2 and 10- until around 2021 when a making a comic aANNND joining a wolf ARPG group exposed me to many kindred art-enjoyers that wanted to keep up with my goofy stories then for some reason, i posted Dewclan's first page on tumblr and it got way more engagement than any other piece of art i've ever posted SO LAKSDNLKDAS WE CANNOT PREDICT THESE THINGS.. at least i can't if you're looking for engagement, pLS AIM FOR ENGAGEMENT THAT FEELS MEANINGFUL over anything else IN MY OPINION, and it's just my opinion- part of being 'better' is, first and foremost, being able to enjoy your art alone. and then being excited with what you choose to share! even if you don't care about your quality of art, care about the story. if you don't care about the story, care about the process and just having fun. but you have to have fun in doing it, and do it for your own eyes primarily. like if you were alone in a room and creating only for yourself! because, until you happen to find others who like what you're liking, you are then when someone is interested and you get to share that excitement, even that ooone comment on something you care about is OOGHHH SUCH A NICE FEELIN. enter communities, comment on other artists' work, try to make friends! but make sure to remember, if you create with the hopes others will like it, without liking it yourself, you're going to be really broken down if someone doesn't like it FOR you :{ loving your own art is tough work but it's integral to your longterm relationship with drawing ON IMPROVING.. for me, nothing is more integral to improving than finding a way to practice that suits you (looking at live figures doesn't help me at all. i don't know why. it's insane), and having fun doing it. i can't grasp anatomy unless i break it down with shapes. SHAPES ARE EVERYTHING. study the shapes of what you want to draw. break em down by tracing simple shapes over your subject. see if the leg is the same length as the head from muzzle to neck and lock that info in. STUFF LIKE THAT on the technical side of things, it can be super helpful to dedicate half an hour or so to drawing a day- eventually it becomes a habit and you just default to 'oh i think i wanna draw' when you've got nothing else to do. more drawing, more improvement!

HONESTLY THO another important thing is not putting yourself down. i know it's a hard habit to break (i struggle with it outside of art myself!), but it doesn't do you any favours. the more you rag on yourself, the more it'll manifest as something that actually damages your art, AND your relationship with it. let it be fun- don't sabotage yourself! you can be critical of your work and still kind! little tip here, improving can take a while, but experimenting with styles can make an INSTANT shift in how you perceive your stuff. ALSOOO EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT BRUSHES FOR SKETCHING AND LINING. I PROOMISE. PLS DO IT. IT'S LIKE A MAGIC TRICK. i cannNNNOT sketch with a hard brush. everything looks horrible. marker brush tho?? so smooth. full of character. lovely. binary brush sketches? suddenly i'm Anime. pencil brush?? i digidevolve back into baby ka who loved to crosshatch and do semi realism. airbrush??? i explode into atoms actually

i find for a lot of people, they don't need to improve or be 'better' at art, they need to learn to enjoy what they're capable of doing now, and improvement is a byproduct. from what i've seen through the years, unless you work to curb it the negative view of your art will stick with you no matter what 'skill level' you get to bc the calls' comin from inside the house, yknow what i mean 3: it can be a long process to learn to accept your art, and sometimes you just plain grow out of it over time! but in the meantime it can't hurt to make efforts to fight your d e m o n s

I'M SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH IK YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS ALL IT ISN'T JUST TO YOU, ODESSY-CLAN BLOG RUNNER, IT'S AIMED AT ANYONE WITH ARTSY SELF DOUBTS. i hope i phrased everything kindly bc i meant it all kindly 3: i hate to see an artist doubt their work, but THERE IS NO SHAME IN IT. i want to encourage loving it regardless of any flaws tho, even though it takes time!

#kasks

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toruro · 2 years ago

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svt + early rainy mornings

a/n: i'm super new to tumblr and i just wanted a new platform to post some of my works on! (ao3 gets boring lol) but yeah, i hope who ever is reading this liked it!

seungcheol

i feel like when you guys go to sleep he'd want to have you like in his arms and just holding each other BUT he moves a lot in his sleep and so you two always wake up not being able to tell what position you went to sleep in because you end up on opposite sides of the bed LOL. but on rainy mornings i feel like he'd just get SO soft and like he already loves morning cuddles but he'd be extra clingy if it was all dark and cloudy outside—something about how he loves the idea of being able to keep you both warm with nothing but your proximity to each other bc you would be all pressed up against each other and—okay i think you get it! i feel like on these days especially, he'd give up title of big spoon because like he'll be so clingy and just wants you to spoon him as you two talk about your plans for the rest of the day.

jeonghan

honestly i imagine he'd be the opposite of scoups like i think he needs his space when he's trying to sleep—maybe not like completely on opposite sides of the bed but definitely not like pressed up against each other like scoups (maybeee a hand draped over your waist)—but in the morning you two somehow always manage to end up completely tangled together. when it's raining outside, he'll be the first to wake up, slightly nudging you awake as he caresses the side of your body with one of his hands, turning you over in your half-asleep haze so he can show you the rain since he knows you love it. he'll like spoon you for a bit as you two talk about the rain before he's getting up, pulling you along with him to the kitchen so you guys can have a cup of hot coffee together. you probably whine a little but never resist because you both know this is what you were looking forward to.

joshua

probably sleeps on his back so you kind of just snuggle up next to him! on a rainy morning though i feel like he'd be awake a little early before you and slip out of bed to make some breakfast. he'd make something nice and warm along with coffee, and when he's done he'd slowly wake you up. even though he's not fond of the idea of disturbing your sleep, he'd feel like he can make an exception this one time because the gloomy outdoors just make everything in your home seem warm and cozy. once he basically gets you to slug out of bed, he'll pull you into the living room where you two sit side by side on the couch with a blanket wrapped around you as you watch a movie and eat the breakfast he made.

jun

def the big spoon but will probably still be sleeping by the time you wake up so you kind of just stare out the window with your back to his chest, one arm draped over your waist. you enjoy the soft patter off raindrops on your window in sync with the quiet, huffing breaths of jun behind you, and you think that this is like the best way to spend your morning. eventually you'd get impatient, tracing your fingers over his hand that's in front of you, smiling to yourself when you feel him stir away. he'd mumble some sort of whine in your ear and you'd say something along the lines of "junnie look, it's raining," and although he's still a little sulky about being woken up, the way he pulls you closer to him tells you that he's happy to be with you right now

soonyoung

honestly like with him i feel like it's one or the other, like it can go both ways: 1) you two wake up at the same time and cuddle for a while, making jokes and talking about your plans for the day and what not, and eventually you're the one who has to force the two of you two get up and make some breakfast together OR 2) he's really excited about the rain and wakes you up in his jumpy sort of excitement, expressing little regret for disturbing your slumber LOL. will pull you out of the bed so you can look at the rain with him before hopping back into bed to cuddle.

wonwoo

definitely wakes up before you and while he is tempted to wake you up when he does, he decides to wait like a little longer but when he sees that it's raining super hard, he gently shakes you awake. he knows you love the rain and are mesmerized by it every single time, and he thinks that he's going to have to wake you up eventually so it might as well be to a sight you love to see. you're a little groggy when you first open your eyes, but seeing the soft smile on wonwoo's face, along with the now loud hit of raindrops against your window, is enough to have you shooting out of bed and looking out side. wonwoo would smile, slowly slipping out of bed and following in your footsteps so he could stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. watching the view, he'd press kisses into your shoulder before murmuring something about going to the kitchen to make some coffee.

jihoon

OKAY HONESTLY. writing for woozi is kind of hard for me but like let's think...definitely would wake up with one arm around you. i like to think that you two would wake up around the same time, and i feel like you two wouldn't need to talk or anything, you guys would just...sit there in a very comforting silence. i like to think that he'd try to sync his breathing with yours and eventually pull you closer to him so he can have you fully in your arms. he'd eventually mumble something about having to work and you'd pout, pulling him by the wrist when he tries to leave. he'd give in, of course, telling you that he's just going to go grab his computer. when he returns, he'll sit up against the headboard with you resting your head on his shoulder as you enjoy the sound of rain and the click of his keys.

seokmin

okay this is so random but i always love baking when it's rainy and i feel like dokyeom specifically would do this too like something about making brownie batter with you when it's all cloudy outside, cuddling up on the couch and watching some show with a blanket over you two while you two wait for the brownie to finish baking, and then sharing the sweet gooey goodness as you two settle back down to watch your show—AAAUGH! like i have no thoughts else whatsoever but like i just feel like this is so him.

mingyu

gets all soft when he wakes up and sees that it's raining. your legs are tangled together, keeping him warm but i think he enjoys the sun more than the rain and so he pulls you closer to snuggle into you. he's careful not to wake you up, but i feel like he also secretly craves the comfort you offer when he's being particularly whiny. he's just so much bigger than you and it's just so endearing so when you unconsciously push yourself deeper into his hold, all of his sulkiness just melts away. his fingers would tangle into your hair as he'd stroke your scalp, eventually causing you to stir away. you blink up at him with squinty eyes, wondering what's got him up earlier in the morning than usual, but when you realize that the dim light in your room is not due to it being early in the morning, and rather due to the thick clouds, you know what's got him all clingy. smiling at his neediness, you don't really say anything before pecking his lips and pulling him closer!

minghao

loves the rain just as much as you do, if not more. i think he finds is really calming, and he feels it's natures way of cooling itself down. i feel like he'd wake up first but you'd also be following him minutes later, both of you being groggy together—ALSO HE'S LIKE JEONGHAN! needs to sleep separate from you but in the morning ends up with you two joined at the hip basically. this morning it seems like you're spooning him, which isn't normal but is also welcomed on this cloudy morning. i don't think minghao would want to waste his time, you two would talk for a few minutes, exchanging lazy kisses before he's basically hopping out of bed to the kitchen. he doesn't wait for you, knowing you'll follow him where the two of you make something together. unlike the others, i don't think he'd be extra cuddly just because it's raining, but he'd definitely want to cling by your side and whatever you guys have in store for the day, he is going to do it with you.

seungkwan

honestly like mingyu but more extreme and annoying abt it (still sososos endearing though). i feel like he doesn't like the rain nearly as much as you do because i feel like he THRIVES on the sun and its brightness and its energy so when he wakes up before you he'll be all pouty and sulky and therefore feel like it's the perfect time to wake you up too so at least there will be someone to deal with his whining. you roll your eyes as soon as you're out of your half-asleep daze but smile and pull him close so that you're the big spoon. honestly in general, i feel like seungkwan (and all the other boys too) like being the big spoon but in this specific scenario he just wants to feel warm and safe in your arms. he'll be the least willing out of all the boys to get out bed, not wanting to leave you and your warmth.

vernon

ok honestly like this was meant to be soft but i feel like especially on a rainy morning, vernon would feel super like warm and happy and would offer to go down on you just for the sake of it. like you both would wake up around the same time and then he'd kinda just ask if he can Eat You Out and who are you to say no?? he loves the way your moans are like quiet and raspy in the early mornings and the dim light from outside along with the patter of rain really just sets the mood for him and he can't get enough of you. i think he'd take it slow though, and once you come down from your high he'd cuddle with you a little more and then you'd both go and make some breakfast or something

dino

manz would need to be like in physical contact with you the WHOLE night and the morning was no exception. i feel like the rain would wake him up and he'd just lay there with your body facing his, face sorta pressed into to your chest for a bit as he watches the rain. eventually, he'll move into a sitting up right position and carefuly adjust you so your body is kind of slung over his, chest on top his and head resting on his shoulder as you continue to sleep. i feel like he would just love the idea of holding you and the oddly casual intimacy of you sleeping on top of him, and he'll just be scrolling on his phone with a hand to your back, rubbing soothing circles, until you wake up. you'd be mumbling incoherent words until he grabs your chin, pecking you on the lips, and then moving your head so you can look out the window. you'd rest your head on his shoulder again as you take in the view, adjusting your legs so they're more comfortably situated around his body as he continues to rub your back and make conversation!

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tello-fellow · 10 months ago

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Hold on I'm dusting all the cobwebs off of this blog

Hello! I know it's been a while and I'm very sorry for not being as active on this blog like before but I have art the people here on tumblr haven't seen yet!

This is a valentine's day post i made in February that i posted to my insta but strangely never posted here

It's boys out on a valentine's date! Here's something I wrote in regards to this art in caption on Instagram!

"When it comes to Timmy and Jimmy I always feel like they have a really comfortable relationship where they don't need to necessarily go on super big or exciting dates to have fun together. I feel like they could be grocery shopping together or taking Godard for a walk and that would count as a date for them. It doesn't really matter where they go as long as they're having a good time together! The same is true for Valentines day, they don't feel like they need to get each other gifts, going to get pizza and candy is good enough.

In this piece specifically Timmy is going on some rant about someone who pissed him off and Jimmy is listening intently because he likes hearing his boyfriend talk. Timmy's a yapper what can I say. They'd be that couple that constantly talks shit because these two are sassy losers with massive egos. They're perfect for each other!"

Thank you so much for sticking around even when I'm inactive

Love y'all ☆

#fairly oddparents #jimmy neutron #nicktoons unite #timmy turner #jimmytimmy #timmyjimmy #jimmy timmy power hour #my art

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fff777 · 17 days ago

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here it is! we have the eng subs to got7 on youngjae's radio show! i'd watched it when it aired but no understanding korean, i was just going off of vibes lol. but i'm excited to watch again this time with more context!

hype!!! when youngjae was introducing the show there were so many fans outside cheering him on

lol fanchant to miracle in 2025

miracle is a really sweet song though <3 i was going to fast forward through this to get to the interview but i kind of want to listen to the full song

this is over two hours so we're going to get a lot of interview i am buzzinggggg i'm so excited for talk7. but also tumblr limits posts to 30 images so we shall see if i need to break up this post into two if i have too many screenshots

omg right it's the middle of winter and it's apparently midnight? the fans must be so cold TAT stay strong ahgase TAT

aw youngjae is excited too <3

youngjae's otter doll became coco's toy

lol hamburger-nim

entry music for the members <3

aegyo king as always

they are NEVER letting go of super sexy aegyo

youngjae really making jaebeom do all the memes

wait since when was mark and angel and a prince :3 anyway he is very pretty thsi comeback <3

angry mark-hyung <3 he's so cute when he's animated

seunie~ welcome back

the way jackson was like i'm out as soon as youngjae asked for super sexy aegyo

jinyoung!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why did he walk in like this though lmfaooo. like a 老大

here comes bambam, swagmaster hypebeast himself

yugyeom last but not least, walking in like a ceo lol

btw i love that youngjae was like just sit wherever you want. like they're really going casual, i love it.

youngjae being told to go outside so they can call him in lol

they're at a point where it's fun to interact with the fans :P

the guys commenting on jaebeom's cute librarian look :3 yes is looking cute and soft today

mark and yugyeom equal and opposite concepts XD

jinyoung so defensive when he said his sweater was new. "it's not fucking stained bro."

jinyoung's completely anticlimactic introduction lol. i love how nonserious these guys are being, they really are sticking to the concept of no formation, no preparation, just vibes and hanging out.

this entire comeback jinyoung and jackson have been especially playful. and so far they've just been sitting facing each other like guys remember this is a group activity lol.

what is bambam being so cute for (his concept is being maknae today :P)

guys: youngjae already introduced himself before we got here guys: then why doesn't youngjae introduce himself to us

listener: jay b, can you please calm down listener: i worry you'll get in trouble with jinyoung afterwards jjp continue to be mom and dad lel

the guys explaining korean slang to jackson and mark. probably like old times :P

who was it who said that show about korean slang kept showing up on their algorithm lol

youngjae said his radio skills are rusty and he doesn't know how to move on from a convo anymore

jinyoung knows the fans, he knows we love them talking comfortable like this :3

yeah every time they have a comeback there's a new meme among themselves. for nanana it was sheee~. this time i'm not sure what it is. maybe it's "bambam made it" because they keep saying it when they're introducing python lol.

oh never mind they said it's PYTHON but in a high pitch

fan: mark, why are you so handsome mark: thanks mom and dad that's very american humour lol

the guys trying to downplay their fight. they're like "we've changed!!! we're not like that anymore!!" but also they're honest and they have no problem about spilling the beans.

bambam: leave in the comments who you want to see fight, we'll arrange a showdown

bambam was nervous because it was his first time producing for the members :3 well he did well (y)

so there's going to be a making of video for python then. these guys just yolo with spoilers.

they've been talking about python for 1.5-2 years

would it have been possible for them to have released this in may though? when jinyoung and jaebeom were still serving?

aw, jinyoung admitted he was happy from beginning to end of the entire album making process. he's letting himself be sappy.

they're hyping up this fight so much

yugyeom is so frustrated about jaebeom forgetting the dance choreography lol

LOL yugyeom watched compilation videos of jaebeom's mistakes ToT let him live pleaseeeee

bambam: at the concert, please focus on jaebeom LOL

jinyoung saying that he thought they were cool during dance practice and yugyeom laughing and jinyoung being like ??? should i say we suck?!?!?! he went full grumpy old man lol

lol jinyoung's defense about spoiling

youngjae: can y'all let me do my job and guide the convo got6: no

jaebeom came up with the name winter heptagon

aw...they shine apart but also together as a constellation <3

oh TRUE it matches with this being the year of the snake (though when winter heptagon dropped it was technically still year of the dragon) and bam being snake in korean. python IS bambam's song.

yeah i heard that originally tidal wave was supposed to be a title track

lol python is a song about the love between cat and owner lmao. bambam would know as cat dad/cat butler.

jackson hiding after his tom and jerry joke ^^;;

they're just gonna be like this whole time eh

jinyoung was gonna make a joke but he stopped himself because he knew it was going to be cheesy but the guys were like noooo do it so jinyoung reluctantly did it and wanted to dip right after lol

yugyeom pointing out how the fans want to hear it but still give jinyoung shit for bad jokes. this is the proper idol/fan relationship, never let the man live X'D

ohh was tidal wave was supposed to be the title track instead of nanana? anyway jay b said he kept pushing for tidal wave.

jaebeom switched the chorus with bambam. i think it's so interesting how they guys have complete creative control.

jinyoung: yo bros weren't we so cool just now, not even one skrrt, we've made it, we've grown up

of course, they're serious about the album :3

YEAH EVERYBODY wanted jaebeom's part so they could just sing and be done with it and focus on the dance >3

i love that they're not afraid to admit that they get out of breath lol

interesting, bambam originally wanted mark to do the first chorus, and jaebeom was ok with rapping

YEAHHH request for jaebeom to sing the chorus and the guys were also like YEAHHHH

jaebeom never disappoints <3

yeah i remember in an old part switch video where jaebeom was saying he's not as confident with falsetto

yesss please bring back part switch ver :3

this is when they cleared up the fanchant lol

music break for python

there's ahgabong on the premises

there's the little fat birdie ahgase cake next to yugyeom :3

jackson: what does that mean? guys: *explains* jackson: ohhh jackson: i don't get it

jackson not remembering the cabbage hair incident and bambam was explaining and jackson was like stop you don't even remember it. i think it was pretty simple, just that jackson was pushing mark too hard when stretching and mark grabbed his hair like a cabbage. i don't know what that means though lol.

ameri-thai-kong fighting in multiple languages B)

so jackson says he swears in korean lol

lol asia song festival

jinyoung and jaebeom saying they don't fight anymore, it was very cute when they both denied it :3

back in the bounce days they fought every day huhuhu. the teen boy spirit.

wait i don't know what this jj cross is lmao. but it was the first entry in a cringe test youtube compilation XD oh bambam

jinyoung being like "...when we shot it we actually thought we were really cool." it always amuses me how easy the guys are to laugh and cringe at their old stuff XD like they obviously know they're cool and they don't feel their image is threatened by looking and acting silly because fun must be always!!!

lol so yugyeom has fantasies about cussing people out. reasonable tbh, i think it's how a lot of people get rid of their angry feelings.

aww there as a time when they were trainees that yugyeom was really really angry and he called jaebeom and jinyoung

music break~ smooth was made by jackson! :3 the guys are also taking a break to stretch their legs and then switch sides

mark, jackson, and bambam dancing to smooth as they come back in :3

jaebeom: is it ok to feed meat to the baby birds? 🤔 got6: it's ok, eagles exist

they guys getting soooo offended that the listener said they're bad at games

YEAHHH jinyoung picking the A reenactments and i love how bambam proudly shows the fans while jinyoung just holds his head in defeat and shame

lol they all bullied jinyoung into doing all of the videos as punishment for picking the mission

ok but you can tell jinyoung is having doing the other guys' videos

jinyoung stayed cool for all of them except for his own X'D

jackson's plan completely backfired, he wanted youngjae to be the other mission man but everyone instead turned on him. the guys are SO PROUD of the birds for getting the memo LMAO it's always so hilarious when they use the fans to turn on each other.

they're trying to get jackson to reenact the videos too and jinyoung was like "??? then what did i do all that for??" and yugyeom quietly said to jinyoung "it was fun 🥰" yugyeom was and is jinyoung's baby

jackson hates this SOOOOO MUCH X'D

now jackson trying to flip the script onto bambam lmao

bambam @ yugyeom: now do my part yugyeom: ?? why??? bambam: i can't die alone maknaes forever X3

jackson just making up a listener message to further his agenda lol. FAKE NEWS

music break for our youth! this is soooo youngjae style

next is the presentation segment where they talk about the songs they made :3

jackson wrote smooth in one day :o

i have to say it at least once, but jackson is really so handsome like this. simple styling, prince hair.

next is youngjae with our youth

i will say this song, while it does sound very youngjae style, also sounds a bit like got7's b-sides back in the day. so i believe youngjae when he said he wrote it with got7 in mind :3

youngjae messing up the lyrics :P

yugyeom with remember

they're making yugyeom reenact his cringe video from a million years ago. NEVER let your bro live anything down lol

LOL jinyoung went to the coin karaoke in the military often

jaebeom with darling!!! :3 him singing that one line and the girls going CRAZY. i did too huhuhu

jackson said he felt like he was attending an online lecture and jaebeom went into teacher mode :P

the guys all commenting on jaebeom's messy writing ^^;;

weirdest thing to pause the man about lmao. like thanks kayi but what am i supposed to do with this information.

tidal wave was also written by bambam? :D

little shimmy after a little fanservice :P

so many guys are saying jinyoung did well :3

mark with out the door! i really liked this song on the track, might be my favourite on the album

mark wrote this with his band. it was supposed to be in a lower key for him but they raised it up three keys for got7 :o interesting

mark also named jinyoung as the member who did well and he said that jinyoung's pronunciation of the english lyrics was very good. honestly jinyoung has always had very good pronunciation of languages. i remember the first time i saw got7 doing an interview in the state and i was literally :o when i heard jinyoung speaking because he was able to do the american accent so well

bambam said that out the door reminded him of high school and mark said out the door felt nostalgic to him. it's true, this song sounds like it could be the soundtrack to a teen movie.

jinyoung with her

LOL the final showdown

LOL jinyoung smoothly avoiding jackson's hug and jackson touching jinyoung's face on the poster instead

lol jinyoung sleepy

jinyoung's the only guy who picked to have someone else's face. all the other members picked to keep their faces. interesting. well he's an actor so i guess he likes living other people's lives

LOL jinyoung wants to wash he other guys instead of being washed. all the guys are so suspicious of other people washing their bodies lmao.

last song, yours truly :3

omg...2-5-1 chord progression of jjp + other members + ahgase...that's sweet

awww a 10 year old fan who's imagining what it's like to be an adult...aw...

guys...i guess we're shoebills now

lol mbc had to register 19 cars for got7 XD there are too many staff.

bambam's turn to foot the bill huhuhu

never mind jaebeom pays again lol. leader is leader is leader.

lol time to pat each other on the backs >3

markbeom <3

bambam: we need to remodel the nest youngjae: bambam, please do it for us bambam: bambam: ok

music break for her

why are they flipping bottles in the year 2025

hello by got7 to lead us out

waving to fans :3

and there we have it :3 i missed them a lot, got7 are sooo much fun, thank you so much for doing this ;v;

#screencaps & commentaries #got7

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bonedo-enthusiast · 6 months ago

Text

coming out to bnd 𐂐◯𓇋

A/N: my first ever actual tumblr post! (AHH) i’m still learning about how to use tumblr and whatnot but… i had this thought one day and figured maybe i should post it. hope you guys like it. (also btw lowercase is intended!) :)

tws: none(?), mention of homophobia/transphobia but only in passing

genre(s): fluff, comfort

wc: 723

sungho

“oh, really?”

surprised but tries not to be too surprised because he doesn’t want to make you feel weird

will take your secret to his grave if need be

probably won't ask you many questions because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable

assures you that this won't change anything about your friendship

he might be a little awkward though, unsure of how to segue into a different subject

if you came out as trans, it would definitely take several months for him to be able to switch to your new name and pronouns

not out of malice, but because he knew you for so long as (insert deadname)

he would cringe every time he slips up, quickly apologizing and moving right along

riwoo

"oh... thanks for telling me."

similarly to sungho, he's surprised

but he's definitely more awkward about it

like to the point you wonder if he's homophobic/transphobic

but he just has so many thoughts and questions swirling around in his head

like how long have you known? what does this mean? does this change anything about your friendship? (no, of course not!)

once he pushes those thoughts aside, he smiles at you tells you he's glad you told him

now you both are closer than ever! <3

no but i feel like whenever riwoo would mess up your pronouns, he'd apologize profusely

like to the point where it's very awkward...

but he's trying his best! :,)

jaehyun

"oh word?"

no but something in me tells me jaehyun would get excited (?)

(like this man may or may not have taken a "am i gay test" in high school kind of vibes)

"whaaaat?!"

if you came out as trans, he would definitely insist on buying necessary supplies for you, especially if your birthday is around the corner :D

he's super sweet and supportive, immediately asking you what your new name/pronouns are

"ooh, that's such a cool name!"

and if you came out with your sexuality, he would always consider this when talking about attractive people

like pointing out cute people you'd potentially be attracted to with your newly revealed sexuality

might even try setting you up with them lol

taesan

"okay... and? took you long enough."

bro already knew 😭

taesan strikes me as a very observant person, so i feel like he'd already have some idea

maybe he'd even start viewing you as the gender you transition to, before you even tell him

(he's psychic! /j)

in his mind, that's who you are and who you always have been! <3

as a result, he would have no issues with getting your pronouns/name right

as for sexuality, he really doesn't care (respectfully)

"cool."

like. so nonchalant.

leehan

"oh? tell me more."

i feel like he'd be very curious about your identity (if you're comfortable telling him about it of course!)

he's a big listener and likes learning about things, so he would be very good to talk to about these things

and actually, i could even see him doing some research to try and learn more about his friend and understand them better :)

i see him as the kind of person you'd come out to first, just because he's so understanding

like you could come to him with your fears and worries about your realized identity and he'd just be so so sweet :(

"you're still the same person, and you're still my friend. you are never alone. it's okay, we can figure this out together."

PLS 😭💗

woonhak

"huh... so what does that mean exactly?"

i'm not sure he would understand anything beyond the basic terms most people know (like gay, lesbian, trans)

so if you were to come out to him as, say, nonbinary, he might need some explaining about what exactly that means

but regardless, he'll just smile and nod

but still be confused because why are you telling him this??

he wonders if he's supposed to do something with this information, or just listen

i can so picture him trying hard to pay attention to what you're saying while at the same time trying to figure this stuff out in his head lol

but once he's past this internal debate, he's so sweet

messes up your pronouns/ name quite a bit at first though

"yeah, me and (insert deadname)-- i mean, wait! sorry, (insert chosen name)..."

#boynextdoor #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor sungho #boynextdoor riwoo #boynextdoor jaehyun #boynextdoor taesan #boynextdoor leehan #boynextdoor woonhak #boynextdoor drabbles #bnd #bnd imagines #bnd fluff #boynextdoor fluff #kpop imagines #―୨୧⋆ ˚ fawns bookshelf 📚#𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ food for thought 🧇

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dapandapod · 3 months ago

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Ok I'm super slow to respond to this, as per usual, but I never take the time to sit down with tumblr on my computer, which is very much needed for me when doing these type of asks 😂💖

Thank you for the tag my dearest! These are always fun! I write too damn much for this to be easy though 😂

1.Dead I live, easily the longest, darkest and hardest thing I written! It took 3 years, start to finish, before it was finally done, 2. Bruises, where Jaskier finally stands up for himself after s.2 and the painful fallout of being unwanted. Wrote this in one go, it has a hopeful/happy ending, I promise! 3. How I would kiss you, based on this drabble of mine! Never posted on Tumbl because I try to keep the explicit stuff on Ao3 ;) But the pining in this one, the tension, was a looot of fun, even if it took time to finish!

4. Shipwreck, Jaskel where Eskel is a Mer rescuing human Jaskier from a storm. I really enjoyed writing that one, I love underwater things, as you might have noticed hehe! 5. Leave your mark, because fake dating (fake marrige more like) and pining my beloved! Sometimes three sentences is reason enough to write 10k, you know!

So yeah, and I have a lot that I'm excited about that is in the wip pile .... so those I can't say anything about yet 😂 Thank you for the ask, love!

#the witcher #geraskier #jaskel #ask game #self fic rec #dapanda replies #dapanda writes #tagging works how??#geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #jaskier the bard #witcher eskel #eskel x jaskier

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mrsjavierpena · 1 year ago

Text

All the roads lead to a jar of pickles | Pickled Peña

summary: Javier keeps finding promises to make every New Year's Eve

pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

warnings: fluff, alusions to smut, mentions of narcos, no use of y/n, just javi being so in love and receiving the love he deserves

word count: 4k (yeah i got carried away

IMPORTANT: English is not my first language, i've done my best with grammar but there will be mistakes (fuck prepositions i hate them), so pls overlook those

an: this is a one shot to the @pickled-pena writing challenge! i was super excited to write this and it was indeed a challenge since tumblr decided to delete what i wrote twice, but i loved to participate. also, i procrastinated and literally wrote this right before posting to no lose tbe deadline (not proud, but i made it

hope you enjoy it!

Javier didn't use to be a man to make many promises. He made a few during the years, promises like quit smoaking, clearing Colombia from cocaine, to take care of himself for his mother on her deathbed; he didn't keep any of them. It wasn't like he didn't try, though, Javier was a man of word, things just went out of his control: he did arrest Los Pepes, but the traffic of coke was at full stem ahead even without them, consuming the country, ruining and taking lives of innocent people; it was logical to imagine that taking care of himself was more under his control, but honestly, Javier didn't even know how to do that anymore, his life going south for so long it felt like changing wasn't a possibility.

He still had his father, and living with him back in the ranch again definitely had Javier in the most healthy state of his life that time. His return to Laredo caused quite the commotion, him abandoning Lorraine in the alter was never forgotten, but being part of the chasing of Escobar got him in Laredo's good grace again, he was a hero after all. He hated all of it: the praises and congratulations he didn't deserve, the back pattings and hugs that invaded his personal space, the audacity the people had to 'forgive' him, as if they were people whose opinion he valued.

It's not like he wasn't used to it, he was born and raised there and small towns had small towns' issues, but that didn't mean it didn't piss him off still. His big, nosy family was a part of it, all over his head asking "what was his plan now that he was back home", about "getting a girlfriend to become a wife and finally have kids", because "he wasn't getting any younger" and "was the only single cousin". It was like all his concerns were thrown in his face. He loved them, they were all he had left, but god, didn't they make him feel like shit. Because he had accomplished nothing in forty years, and it was clear that every person around him could notice that too.

The coming of a new year was another reminder of that. During his years in Colombia, he didn't do much other than a dinner with Steve and Connie, neither of them was in the mood of anything fancy at that time, and when they left the country, he simply worked or, in the best scenario, slept. In Laredo, though, his family wouldn't miss an opportunity to throw a party.

"What are your resolutions for the next year, Javi?" his cousin asked.

They both were in the kitchen, the task to cut pickles in very thin, even slices given to them by one of their aunts. Javi stopped his work with the knife to not lose a finger as he side eyed his cousin.

"Don't look at me like that!" she laughed "I'm asking you a question"

"What do you mean?"

"Resolutions, Javi" she rolled her eyes "Like your wishes for the next year"

"You mean, like, manifesting? Are you into that shit?" he couldn't hide the frown on his face.

"No, Javier, not manifesting, even though there's nothing wrong with that" she gave him an irritated look "You write down what you would like to change in yourself, to be a better person next year"

"Is that your way to say that I'm an asshole, prima?" he narrowed his eyes at her and she laughed loudly.

"Well, not just that" she shrugged "I like to do that every year, helps me to keep focused in what I want. And I see the look in your eyes, Javi" she wore a sympathetic smile as her hands caressed his "You have dreams you want to chase, why not start by that?"

A loud scream made them both jump in their places, a tiny human coming through the kitchen threshold with his hands thrown up in the air.

"Mijo" she laughed at the child's prank and the boy giggled.

His cousin had been married for almost ten years by then, a little boy and one girl on the way. Her being younger than him and having accomplished his dreams made a claw made of jelousy wrap its nails around his throat.

Javier wanted a wife, he wanted to marry someone he loved, he wanted to build a family of his own, he just was focused on the wrong things at the wrong time.

So he decided to start with something that should be simple, only one promise to himself: to meet someone in the coming year.

It should have, didn't mean it was, though. It was scary, he found out, to get to know someone after so long, especially at a small town where he knew almost everyone. Javier never had problems to get laid, but most of the woman he hooked up with didn't really seem interested in more than that, after a while it started to feel like a him problem. That being said, Javier didn't know how to start, so the next time another cousin of his said that he would really get along with a co-worker he had, he finally accepted.

The date was... awkward, to say the least. They went to the most popular restaurant in Laredo, every person there looking at him the whole evening; she didn't seem to mind the attention, but Javier did. He tried to make conversation, to ask about her interests, to compliment her, but he was as rusty as a cheap aluminum pot left in the rain for months, years, in his case. She would ask a lot about him, too, but not his hobbies or what he liked to hear on the radio, she would ask about Escobar, how was it like to catch bad guys, if he still had his gun. Javier tried to change the subject, but she would insist on talking about Colombia. She was curious, it was normal, he was used to it, but what a damn turn off it was. Javier felt like being in an interview, the atmosphere heavier and heavier as the questions were getting more and more personal, and by the first hour of the date, he was wishing he was at home.

Javier had this happening before, during his time chasing Los Pepes, the media would be all over him asking all sorts of questions, work related or not, and he hated it. If she wasn't an acquaintance of his cousin, he would even consider her being a fucking journalist, because it was not normal to act like that with someone you had just met.

So after that, Javier was pretty dismotivated to continue his chasing, but his family had already found out he was giving love a chance and wouldn't leave him alone. Apparently, there were many "young women" interested in Javier, according to his aunts. Javier wasn't really comfortable being putten in that position again, but decided to give it a try - few tries, actually. Blide dates were exhaustive and the most of them very unpleasant. In a blink of eyes, it was New Year's Eve again and Javier was still not in a relationship, another failed promise in his mind.

"Well, your plan was to meet someone, and technically you met, like, twenty new women. I would call it a success" Javier rolled his eyes at his cousin's attempt to cheer him up.

"There must be something very wrong with me" he sighed and she pouted.

"Don't say that, Javi! All of them wanted to go on a date with you, you were the one to reject them"

"I know, but- I don't know" he scratched his chin "They all looked at me as if I saved the world, and it's not like that, you know it's not"

She moved the newborn to her other side and sitted closer to him in the couch settled outside the house where they had been chatting for the last hour. Javier looked at the baby in her arms and felt his throat tighten.

"You think so little of yourself, Javi" all her attention was on him, but his eyes didn't meet hers "I know you didn't "save the world", but you tried to make a difference and gave your best to do so, you can't reject a girl just because she admires you"

Javier had done things terrible enough for the good ones to be irrelevants, had let shit happen when he should have tried to stop them, and he had told her that, not in details, but she was the only person beside him and Steve to know, and still thought he was a good person. And yeah, maybe he wasn't so bad after all, but he imagined letting one of those women inside, their eyes shining with pride, letting himself love her, feeling safe enough to tell her about everything and her never seeing him the same way, giving up on him because of his baggage, he knew he would if he could, so how could he put such a burden upon someone's shoulders? Who would want that?

"But I understand, I think" she spoke again, her free hand patting his shoulder "It must feel strange having someone knowing so much about you and you knowing nothing about them. Maybe you shouldn't go on these shitty arranged dates and find someone on your on"

"Yeah, I think you're right" he took her hand in his and gave her knuckes a light peck "Thank you"

"Mijo" Chucho's head appeared on the frame of the door "Would you do me a favor?"

"Of course, Pops" he stood up.

"Your aunts forg-" he was interrupted by shoutings coming from the kitchen:

"You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?" was the voice of one of his aunts "Strolling through the corridors looking for fruitcakes when it's not even the season anymore!"

"You leave my fruitcakes alone!" another aunt shouted back "I don't hear you complaining when you're eating them!"

Javier looked at his father with his brows raised in curiosity, and the old man sighed "Your aunts forgot the jar of pickles, would you mind driving to the tienda?"

"No, I don't"

Most of the commerces were already closed at that time of the evening, but the tienda was the one place everyone in Laredo could count to be open at any time. The owners greeted him when he passed through the door, trying to small talk, and he turned them down the nicer way he could, wishing them a happy new year and going straight to the aisle he was supposed to. He heard the sound of broken glass followed by cursings coming from further in the store and found you staring miseraly at a burst jar of pickles on the floor, the vinegar smell all over the air and a basket full of groceries supported on your hip.

"You okay?" you looked up at him and he felt the the wind knocked out of him; you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life.

"I am, yeah, that isn't" you pointed to the jar and he smiled.

Probably imagining what had happened by the noise, a man quickly showed up with a broom and a cloth to clear it up. You apologized profusely, saying that you could clean it up yourself while the man said it was no problem.

Javier looked at you one more time and left to get what he went there for. He had never seen you in the city before, and it wasn't like he was out of the ranch often - he tried very much not to -, but you should've been new there; the conversation with his cousin still fresh in his head. When he got to the dill pickles aisle, he shouldn't be surprised that you appeared in the other end of it, you had just dropped your jar after all.

"Hi again" you smiled as you walked towards him and he smiled back.

He felt something very similar to shyness creeping in his stomach "Hi"

"Just getting another one of this since mine decided this life just wasn't for him" you raised your hand and said your name.

"Javier" the handshake lingered a little longer than one normally would, your skin soft against his.

He saw the way you looked at him with interest, he should've asked you out. He should've, you were pretty, were his type and, if new in town, probably knew nothing about him. He should've, but he didn't. Thinking once then twice if he could've been reading it wrong, if you were just being nice and in the possibility to make you uncomfortable asking you out after exchanging two sentences in an aisl store. So he just took a jar, said goodbye, and left.

But something inside of him told him that you, with your bright smile and little jokes, could be the one. So he promised to himself to ask you out the next time he saw you.

And he did. After that day, he would go to the city every chance he had. He told his father he would start doing the groceries so he could rest. Chucho didn't buy that, but did nothing about it, he knew his son, so he knew better than to ask, when he wanted to talk to him, he would. It took a couple of months for him to see you again, in the most unexpected place he could think of. He had taken his father to an appointment in Houston, strolling around to pass the time when he saw you inside a café. His eyes widened and he was quick to move out of your sight before you saw him.

He was anxious, but he had been waiting for an opportunity for months and couldn't let it slide away again. Javier took a deep breath and entered the shop, a bell upon his head announcing his entrance. He pretended not to see you, going straight to the counter to ask for a coffee; he didn't want you thinking he was a stalker or something. While waiting for his drink, Javier would take glances in your direction, you sitted three tables away from him, an open book and a mug on the table before you. With his coffee in hands, he looked around and locked eyes with you, who smiled and waved at him. Even though there were plenty of unoccupied tables, Javier took confident steps towards yours.

"Mind if I join?" the smile you gave him made his skin prickle.

"Not at all" you marked a page in the book and closed it as he took a seat in the chair in front of you.

"I haven't seen you in a while" was his subtle attempt to start a conversation.

"Were you looking for me?" you rested your forearms on the table and lightly leaned in his direction.

Javier smirked, was that you flirting, or was he really that rusty? "I was, yeah"

"Good to know" you smiled again "I travel a lot for work, haven't really been in Laredo"

Before he could ask what you did for work, you asked what he was doing in Houston, so he told you about his father's semester appointment that was only available there, and that made you ask about Chucho's health, and then about the trip, since it was a very long one, but he told you he liked driving and used to do that with his parents a lot, which lead to talking about families, you said you weren't really close to yours, the conversation flowing with neither of you seeing the time pass. It was you the one to bring him back to reality, asking which time he was supposed to get Chucho in the hospital and making him realise that he was already late.

"Javier" you said as he quickly stood up to leave "I don't know if I'm reading this wrong, I really hope I'm not and I'm sorry if I am but-"

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?" the words left his mouth before without hesitation.

Your brows raised in surprised, but your smile could have brightened a whole galaxy "God, yes"

He called you the next day, not wanting to wait a minute longer than what he thought wasn't giving desperation. You set the date for the next week, when you would already be back in Laredo. He went to pick you up and got once more mesmerized by the sight of you; you laughed and affectionately squeezed his arm when he told you that. Javier took you to his favorite restaurant in the city, a cozy little place with delicious food his parents used to take him when his mother was still alive. The two of you talked the whole night: he found out that you were a photographer, had moved to Laredo a few months ago planning on settling down "I'm getting too old for all that traveling, and the house's prices are good" was what you told him. Your favorite food was mexican, you weirdly liked the smell of gasoline and wet soil, loved listening to music, still had your grandparents in your hometown so you visited often, wanted to have a dog but couldn't with your schedule, always dreamt of being a mother. You asked so much about him, too. Not the type of questions he was used to being asked, you tried to know him by asking about his childhood, more details about his parents because they seemed to have had such a beautiful love, if he had traveled out of Laredo before, which got him telling you he was a former DEA agent in Colombia, and he saw the curiosity in your eyes, he waited for the questions about that to come, but instead you just said you've had always wanted to visit South America. Years later, when he mentioned tour first date, you would tell him that you knew what was happening in Colombia at that time and that you knew better than to ask what could be invasive questions.

When you couldn't stay in the restaurant anymore because they had to close, Javier still didn't want the night to end, but drove you to your house still. As he took you to your door and wished you a goodnight, ready to leave, you held his upper arm and gave him a light peck on the lips. As if something snapped inside of him, Javier didn't give you the time to even open your eyes before his mouth were against yours again, tongues dancing together as if they already knew one another and had done this before, hands passing through each others bodies. When you asked him to go inside, he hesitated.

"I don't want you to think that's all I want" he vocalized his concerns.

"I don't" you took his face in your hands, brushed your lips on his and smiled "You're a catch, Javier Peña, I'm keeping you to myself"

Javier took his time with you, kissing every inch of your body, having you giggling and moaning and writhing under his touch. Unhurriedly making you his between wet kisses and moans and screams of his name. He would've stayed connected to your body for the rest of his life if he could've, but your agenda was booked for the rest of the year and all he could have was a couple of weeknds a month and long night's phone calls. But Javier took all you gave him without complaints, even though he missed you so much his chest tighted. He missed your smile, your laughter, your body next to his, your fingers through his hair, your kisses to wake him up in the morning, the way his name souded on your lips when he was inside of you, the weight of your head resting on his chest, the way your right leg would twine between his when you slept. The man was head over heels for you and knew you felt the same, all those nights the both of you cried on the phone, sick of being away from each other proved it.

But the both of you survived that tough time like champions, by then, the end of the year was near, and you went to get your grandparents at your hometown to spend the New Year's Eve with Javier's family, the people who raised you obviously being two of the best people he had ever met. His aunts were in love with you, the kids wouldn't leave you alone and his favorite cousin was so thrilled to finally meet you that she dramatically almost passed out. Everyone spent the night laughing and eating and talking, and watching from afar, he couldn't believe how well you fitted on his family, but he hadn't doubted for a second that everyone would love you, how could someone not to? So when he told you he loved you for the first time that night and you said it back without hesitation, Javier promised to be the best version of himself to get you to wear his mother's ring on your finger by the end of the next year.

Not everything was perfect, nothing ever is. You had some fights, you disagreed in a few things, but something you stablished the first time Javier gave in to old habits and tried to run away from the issue was that you wouldn't sleep without talking about it; no hitting doors, no leaving, no fucking the anger out, you talked and made the effort to change what was bothering. Javier had been in only one serious relationship before, with Lorraine, and damn what a difference it was. He couldn't blame neither of them, they were young and didn't know what they wanted; you, on the other hand, knew exactly what you wanted and it still shocked him that it was him. You wanted him, all flaws and errors and baggage included, you didn't let him shut you down when things got tough, and with time he learned to trust you, to count on you, to talk about his feelings, his walls slowly tumbling down. The day he told you everything about Colombia was the hardest he had ever been putten through, years of fighting drug dealers and putting his life at risk, and he had never been more frightened. Tears were shared, you didn't react very well to a few things, but you never dropped his hand, never interrupted, never distanced yourself, even thanked him for trusting you, and at the end he felt as light as a feather. You convinced him to go to therapy, emphasizing that he had to treat the psychological consequences of the terror he confronted back in Colombia.

After that, it seemed like you had reached a goal at your relationship, you spending more time at the ranch than at your own house, a great routine already settled, and you made it very clear you were ready to be asked in marriage when you said those exact words to him. Little did you know he was already planning on it, and one day, after photographing a wedding at a neighbor city, Javier welcomed you in the ranch with candles everywhere, a knee on the floor, tears on his eyes, his mothers ring in a velvet red box and the most heartwarming speech one could ever ask for. The wedding was quick to happen, neither of you wanted a big party, just your families and friends gathered in the ranch with the ceremony realized by a very emotional Chucho. Didn't take you long to get pregnant either, your life settled with you being called to take every photo in Laredo and Javier accepting a job at the Sheriff's Office; the both of you had decided to live with Chucho once he had injured his leg during work, him more than thrilled to have a grandbaby under his roof. Javi fell in love with you a little more every day that passed, more and more mesmerized by you and your growing belly. At the end of that year, he promised to be a father as good as the one he had.

And what a good father he was indeed. He dedicated his life to his family, providing all the love and dedication he had in him, gladly waking up during the nights to comfort his kids; yes, you both got tired as hell, made mistakes, got stressed sometimes, but you got the life of your dreams and the both of you had so much love to give that it didn't matter how hard things could get, you wanted it, all of it. With his one-year-old boy sleeping in his arms as you talked to your grandma on the other side of the room, your ring hand carressing your beautiful round belly that carried your next baby, he saw as his babygirl crossed the room shouting with her hands thrown up in the air to scare you, clearly influenced by her cousin, and you playfully shouted back. The dogs started barking and jumping at the commotion, the three-year-old giggling as you kissed her cheek.

Javier felt like his heart could explode inside of his chest, certain that there was no man alive happier than him, he thought about how lucky he was he went to get those pickles all those years ago. The journy the both of you had wasn't quite easy, the challenges you had to face, the expensive phone bills he got when you were apart, the fears he had to overcome, even those years in Colombia, he would have done it all again and again and again if it meant to be where he was at that very moment, to wake up everyday by your side, to always have you in the passanger seat to rest his hand on your thigh, to have the kids laughing and running around the house, to experiencing the type of love his parents had.

At that New Year's Eve, Javier kept the same promise he had been keeping the last years: to give his all to the family of his own.

"Javi, baby" you called him, your smile as wide as always "I'm craving pickles"

#javier pena #javi pena #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #zaddy pedro #narcos fanfiction #pedrohub #pickled pena #writing challenge #javier pena narcos #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #pickles rule #pickletrickle

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smytherines · 8 months ago

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Tumblr won't let me post this from my drafts, but @uhhhitsme this is me responding to what you wrote yesterday!

I think that's right though. This is a long distance relationship. They live an ocean apart, they only get to see each other when their countries deem it necessary to work together. They have to have their entire relationship in secret because it is illegal. And probably treason because they work for two different countries. It is super turbo illegal.

I mean, long distance couples who don't have all those additional issues, who can call or video chat or whatever every day if they choose to, who have support networks there for them to lean on, (who aren't gay spies in the 1950s), most of the time they still don't make it because the distance is just too much to overcome. But Curt and Owen made it work. Even if it was messy and they were both assholes and nothing about it was rational. They made it work.

We don't know how long Curt and Owen were together before the fall, but I'm guessing it was at least a couple of years? They work incredibly well together, they're bantering and giving these goofy lovesick grins to each other (they make me sick)

Even when they bicker it feels like an old married couple. And it has to be that way for the show to make sense. We get less than ten minutes to establish their relationship, and this little section of the show is what gives the staircase scene true dramatic weight. Because there is so much fucking chemistry in that first ten minutes, such a sense of intimacy between them, that when Curt says "the feelings we had" the audience is already there. We don't need to be convinced (especially queer viewers who clocked this shit right away) because yeah of course these two were together.

They were able to keep this thing going off of maybe a couple of days together every few months? Days where they were mostly risking their lives and killing people and getting shot/stabbed/tortured and then hooking up in a hotel room or safe house or whatever.

One thing I think about a lot is if they were able to be that close to each other, function that well together, be so fucking familiar and warm with each other with just those little scraps of time together, I can't even imagine what they'd be like if they actually had time to just be together. Time to learn to be in a relationship. There's a line from Black Box that goes like "a real relationship- the kind of thing with a permanent address," and that's what Curt and Owen never got to have, and its the kind of thing you have to learn, you have to practice.

That's tough though, because I also think Curt's inherent restlessness would make it very difficult for him to settle down into a comfortable quiet life away from everything. I think he's the kind of guy who theoretically wants the comfort and happiness of a happy little domestic situation, wants to be loved and wanted, but it would be torture for him to have to stay in the same place for very long. At least as a younger man. He wants the idea of it. He wants it emotionally, but couldn't handle it practically. What he truly wants is for he and Owen to eternally live out their glory days together as the world's greatest spies- constant adrenaline and pressure and excitement.

This is pure headcanon, but I picture Owen as the kind of guy who has never wanted any of that. Home is where he keeps his shit in between missions. He doesn't want a happy little domestic life, he wants to do the job he's good at until he dies. Until he meets Curt. Then he starts wanting all sorts of things he knows he can never have. He wants to keep Curt safe, wants to know that they'll be able to see each other whenever they want, they'd have control of their own lives instead of being controlled by their agencies. He wants to stop having to work so hard and think so much and constantly constantly plan for the worst.

So it's difficult to say, but in my heart I do think that if they had more time, both in the pre-fall relationship and, y'know, Curt not putting a bullet in Owen's head, I think they could have figured it out. I think if they were able to sustain the feelings they had for so long on so little actual contact, then it would be difficult and painful and even more messy than before, but eventually they could move on to something better.

I think they loved each other enough to try, but after everything they had each been through in their four years apart, after the ways they had hurt each other and broken each other's trust, they just... couldn't see that in the moment. Which is pretty tragic to me.

#this is what all my convos with mars look like btw #just us sending walls of text to eachother swooning about these damn gay spies #spies are forever #tin can bros #owen carvour #curtwen #agent curt mega #saf #tcb #saf headcanons

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utilitycaster · 1 month ago

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Feel free to ignore if you don't want to talk about it (since I know folks have been super weird to you about gaming), but I'm really curious what build you went for in Disco Elysium, since, at least in my experience, it REALLY colors the information you get about the world (and also how the game flows).

Hey anon! I am happy to talk about it. I'll give you the build and then, honestly, I'm going to give a rundown of The Weirdnesses since talking around them is probably making shit more confusing. I may have even done this before or I may have drafted it and deleted it. I honestly do not recall, and it doesn't hurt to repeat.

I went with thinker, in a move surprising no one who has been subjected to my "never dump intelligence when you can dump wisdom" rants about D&D. I want to know what's going on; this has made progress slow in a few places due to the mediocre physical stats/horrifically bad psyche stats, and also it means my available health and morale are garbage, however, I do not care because I want to know what's going on. It does mean I haven't been able to get through several doors, however.

Anyway re: video games. This isn't unique to them but I think bc I am up to date on Critical Role this just doesn't happen much, but anyway two things are going on.

the overfamiliarity problem. I mean this so seriously: If we have not interacted recently and/or frequently (or uh. at all) saying shit like "I'm so excited for you to be playing this game!" is actually deeply off-putting to me. I am sure it is INTENDED to be friendly, and so I usually quietly delete comments or hide reblogs instead of blocking, but it really is like...this is a normal thing for casual acquaintances to say and it's fucking weird for strangers to say. like the posts if you like them! reblog them! Even "oh it's a fun game, enjoy yourself!" is fine by me. But like, something about "I'm excited for you" or talking about your own experience when I do not fucking know you makes my skin crawl.

Like many people I have a number of hangups about using leisure time for leisure instead of productivity, or even using leisure time for a leisure activity like video games specifically, which are both time consuming and, while very enjoyable and imo rewarding, do not have the same cultural cache as books nor the finished products as crafts, nor the ability to simultaneously clean your kitchen or crochet as podcasts or TV/movies. I've found from some conversations with friends that I have...more than average hangups, and that's a conversation I do genuinely intend to have in like. a therapy setting. and I'll leave it at that. But anyway to that point feeling like I am having demands put on me, even something as vague and well-intentioned as "I'm excited to hear your thoughts!" or "do you think you'll do another run" before I've independently formulated said thoughts/done another run kicks in a whole bunch of contrarian and also "why are you giving me a fucking TASK related to this when I already had to manually override seventeen warning lights to get to the point of doing something purely for fun and for myself" instincts. (This is also a factor in why I'm extremely sensitive to any spoilers; even "oh you'll have fun when you meet Bob" sets my brain into "well now you can't focus on anything until you meet Bob, obviously, all that matters is finding Bob" mode, which may fuck up my experience until I meet Bob. It's not all the time, depending on the nature of the spoiler and the work and my own ability to be like hey. brain. stop. But it is sometimes, and given that there's very valid reasons to avoid spoilers anyway, such as "random stranger on Tumblr usually does not reveal them in a way that feels nearly as rewarding as the work itself" I am spoiler averse.) Really, when it comes to me exploring video games, or life, one must treat me as a shelter cat or a toddler: I gotta do it myself, let me figure it out myself, only stop me if I'm going to like, fall down a flight of stairs or chew on a lamp cord. And honestly? I think this is a good way to treat everyone who is getting into something you like unless they ask you for advice.

ANYWAY mortifying ordeal of being very slightly known/lecture on how to welcome the independent to a fault and perhaps beyond that into your fandoms aside, asking about what I've already done? 100% ok, do not worry about doing this, just make sure from my posts it is indeed a thing I've already done.

#answered #anonymous

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tategaminu · 2 months ago

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12 Days of TDP #1

What TDP means to me

I just noticed I never did this one so now that S7 is out it's a good time! I'm gonna talk about TDP and the fandom here since they are so important to me. Ignore this if you don't care at all about my little venting lmao:

A bit of story, I found out about TDP back when it was announced with the cool first poster, I didn't get into the series because I was busy with studies but when the show launched the second season my friend told me "hey this series is super good and there's a great ship" I knew right away the ship was rayllum lmao. I had to wait four or five months for S3 and I spoiled myself about the finale because it stressed me haha. When TTM came out I spoiled myself on instagram and had the worst week ever, no therapy will ever make that book okay.

I checked weekly about the date announcement while I got hyperfixated in another series from 2020 to 2022 just when S4 was going to air! I didn't check social media much so I wasn't updated about new info or content like BMH until the announcement of the launching date, the trailer, new designs, etc. I really enjoyed S4 and was excited for more! I missed the characters so much and I was so excited about the next seasons, I found out that there was actual good content on tumblr some weeks after S4, YouTube was the only place I was looking for stuff and that wasn't doing very well for me, I was a bit scared of tumblr over past experiences in fandom but oh wow the TDP fandom was actually cool!?

I found out about all the antics from the hiatus and the ideas and headcanons were so interesting! I got interested in reading or writing fics for the first time of my life so I got entertained while waiting for new content. I stalked posts but I only posted some art and didn't start really posting until a bit before S5 was out and oh well I and couldn't stop.

I have to say that this has been the most enjoyable fandom and fandom time I have ever been in. I have made online friends and have had so much fun, on top of that my art has improved a lot drawing TDP, the support it gets fills me with joy.

TDP is such a good series and it makes me so happy (I say this as I actually get emo over every season), rayllum is my absolutely fav romance ever and just writing or drawing or just talking about them makes my day. I love these characters and it has been so cool seeing them grow, I can't wait to see more about them.

Now with the sad part, I'm... scared? of things changing. Maybe my hyperfixation going away, to think about not liking rayllum or tdp as much in the future or the concept of them not bringing me joy. I highly doubt it because I have loved this series for 5 years now, my hyperfixation peaked with S4 and it hasn't waned ever since, not even with the one year hiatus from S4 to S5 I'm also very excited to see what the people come up in the big hiatus between S7 and S8, it will be so fun, I wasn't in the hiatus the first time and I regret it.

But at the same time, it makes me sad people leaving. Scared of me standing here alone with other one or two people, maybe even the mutuals or people I'm following disappearing or moving on. I know this is something that happens to fandoms all the time, and even if a series ends you are the one choosing to keep it alive or not but it's still concerning. I know it sound silly to get so emotional over this but as someone with high probabilities of autism, I have a hard time with social relationships or overall just living. But TDP and the fandom content makes me happy, the feeling of not fitting in is not as strong here with you all and having all of that taken away makes me sad. I haven't found another series that has caught my interest as much and I doubt I will anytime soon since TDP and Rayllum have everything I love, fandoms are also not as cool out there. I'm happy that I'm confident I will be here for a long time but at the same time is... scary. Change is scary and I have been feeling uneasy and irritated for a while now, even before S7 aired.

I'm gonna be here for a while, I'm gonna be here when Arc 3 and I can't wait to share with all of you. I'm sorry if this got too personal but I needed to vent.

Let's fight for Arc 3 and keep keeping amazing content together!

Finishing with shocked Rayla for the soul!

#12daysofTDP #honestly this doesnt explain well my conflicted feelings #im feeling so... numb #TDPS7 #The Dragon Prince #tdp #personal #continue the saga #give us the saga

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walkingstackofbooks · 1 month ago

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Fanfic Writer Interview

Tagged by: @a-most-beloved-fool - thank you!! <3 <3 <3

What fandoms do you write in? At the moment, pretty much just DS9, though I've written one TOS ficlet this year.

How many words have you published in 2024? 139, 411 😅😅 Absolutely bananas, I cannot even comprehend how I did that!

It's been an absolaute delight to properly fall in love with writing this year though ❤️Before 2024, I'd written very little fanfic ever, and this has been JUST so much fun! (ftr, 3.5k in 2021, ~3k in 2015, and - huh! Almost 30k in 2011/12 🧐 Well, that's a surprise - apparently my "baby's first fanfic" back in 2012 was a whole 20k, which is far longer than I remember!)

What is your greatest achievement this year? I mean, Vision Awry for sure! Seeing it grow and grow and slowly realising just how long it was becoming (although even right up to the end, I was never able to guess accurately!) My crazy summer marathon to get it all written before I resumed posting (which I did mostly manage!) and then the last few weeks in December pouring my heart and soul into actually finishing it before the end of the year. It's completely mad that I did that!

(Although weirdly, now it's finished it's just kind of like 'yeah I suppose I did that, feels ages ago now though' and I feel like I have to really push myself to feel the pride and excitement I think I should be feeling? Idk, it's weird 😅)

What are your top three fics you've written this year? Oh gosh, I have to choose? Okay...

Vision Awry - obviously :P

Sleep Paralysis - that mad, 3-day blitz of inspiration was so worth hiding away in my room for 😅

Um, unpublished, but the Miles&Julian-talk-about-suicide ficlet I posted on Tumblr? It was far better than I expected when I read it back, and was a higlight amongst the rest of the December writing-is-hard feels.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment? There were definitely many times during Vision Awry... the biggest were probably either:

Re-starting Day 5 in August, after writing nothing during June and July, and reailsing I had no idea what was going to happen in Day 5 apart from the deaths at the end;

Writing Epilogue 3 in the last few weeks, only eking out 1-300 words at a time unless I overdosed on meds (😅 it worked tho...), getting increasingly convinced that I was not going to be finishing by the end of the year, which sucked; or

Any time I realised the scene wasn't working because of X thing which meant I would need to totally rewrite it. I don't do drafts, really, so that was always devastating 😭 (but DID work out for the best, at least)

What have you learned? SO, so much. I'll limit myself to three things. (I'm sorry, I'm no good at choices or being concise!)

That if I have an idea, ideally I need to write all of it, straight away, and finish it while it’s fresh. I honestly don’t know how many WIPs I’m actually going to finish, because even while I love many of the ideas, I’m not in love with them the same way I was when I started.

That I love writing Garak and Julian interactions, even though I keep forgetting that I do, because Garak is an absolute pain to write sometimes (affectionate), and I've never been the biggest fan of stories that are solely Garashir.

That I need to be super careful about opening up prompts, because while they’re great for short-term motivation, if I don't complete them in a timely manner they end up hanging over me in a less-than-fun way.

What three fics have you read this year that you love? I do not know where to start with this one, omg, there are too many <3 <3 <3 Trying to think of ones I haven't mentioned before... (and while I'm trying to be better, I'm so bad at bookmarks 😅)

After The Siege by @youngpettyqueen - I didn't know I needed Worf&Julian but this has stayed in my mind since April and I love it to pieces. This dynamic is soooo gooddd 💕💕

The Recitation of Names by @jennelikejennay - Incredible, haunting, pre-TOS Spirk fic about the events mentioned in Obsession.

By Design by @akingnotaprincess - I haven't finished it yet (I am SO hype though, I just haven't had time over Christmas!) but it's SUCH a lovely Data/Julian fic, it's so sweet and sincere and wonderful.

What ideas are percolating for next year? Ughhhh, oh man. Idek. I've got about a dozen WIPs but the way my brian is rn, I'm just hoping that I'll be able to edit and publish some of the things I've written on Tumblr to finally put on AO3.

Hopefully I'll get going a bit more at some point - and whatever it is, you can bet on a traumatised Juian, I'm pretty sure ;)

Who do you want to thank? Again, where do I even start, there are so many people who have made this year wonderful 💕 I've never really felt like I've been *in* a Tumblr community before, and this year has really changed that, so a huge thank you to everyone who's made me feel so welcome! 🥰

@ectogeo-rebubbles, @the-last-dillpickle, @hellostuffedtiger for welcoming me into the Sloanshir side of DS9 with aplomb. Waking up to your reviews and recs of Imprisoned was actually unforgettable, it made my day many, many times over, and definitely gave me confidence to continue putting Julian into fucked-up situations!

@jackleg-penwright for messaging me and becoming my first Tumblr friend ❤️❤️❤️

@flippetyfloppity, @dreamerdrop, @phoenixfeathersinfall - your comments are life and love itself, your support for my writing this year has been incredible and made me feel so warm, thank you just so much! 🫂🫂🫂

I'm kind of High Key Anxious about missing anyone out if I tried to tag everyone else who has been supportive and wonderful and lovely, which sucks because I really want to, but if you've ever left a comment on anything I've done, PLEASE know that you are held in my heart most fondly with great love and affection 💖💖💖

tagging: @jackleg-penwright, @dreamerdrop, @ectogeo-rebubbles and anyone else who would like to!

#personal #writing feels #i already feel like i'm missing people out form my thank yous who really should be there 😭😭#i'm really so sorry if i have <3 <3 #this was such a lovely thing to work through though #even though it's incredibly hard to ever list my top 3 of anything 😅#this took me so long XD #wsb

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