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drippingmoon · 11 months ago

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Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me.

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots.

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly.

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

#ayearofwriting #2023 #aquiver-aglow #aberration of sunlight

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joe9cool · 2 years ago

Text

Collide-Justin Herbert-26

A/N: I do not know or associate The Chargers or anyone affiliated with them. This is fanfiction. Also you do not have permission to copy or post my work anywhere else. Thank you

Abu Dhabi was an interesting place.

Sara met her team on the plane and they began the long flight. Everything had been cleared by security and their visa's were approved. That was the nice thing about having a manager and assistant.

When they arrived. It was early morning, and while normally they would have time to settle in, Sara was rushed to the set where she had an introduction to everyone. (She hugged Timothee hard) then the director came and asked her if she had any questions about the script. He wanted her to go over a bit with Austin Butler. She had to laugh when he came to her trailer to introduce himself to her and Erika, as her best friend was trying hard to keep her cool.

They went over their lines before they were called to do some testing photos for promotion. The movie's pr team wanted them to give the appearance of a family friendly set. As Sara and Austin spoke, Timothee joined them, as the set photographer took photos for them to post on their social media.

Then it was a dress rehearsal to make sure Sara's costumes fit. Since she was going to be playing a princess, her outfits ranged from simple and elegant, as well as regal and extravagant. Some minor alterations had to be fixed as Sara's training for the fashion show made her body more toned.

In between fittings, Sara was flipping back and forth between the script and trying to figure out when the game vs the Broncos would be on. It was going to be difficult, but Sara was determined to make it work. She remembered to message Justin that she landed, however it was probably late in Los Angeles, so he wouldn't see it until she was probably asleep.

This was going to be a test of their relationship.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Message from anon: Did you see this post? From deumoxi instagram

Blind item: big time Hollywood actress from steel city is involved with an NFL quarterback in California. Wonder how her business focused family is taking this?

I think Sara Wozniak is seeing Justin, or at least there is/was something going on. They both follow each other, have the same group of friends.

Answer: Jeez anon, we've talked about it. It's a follow, all evidence we've seen has linked him to Taylor. As a matter of fact Taylor just posted she's rooting for the Chargers.

Anon: oh my god let it go. He's not seeing Sara, she isn't his type. She's obnoxious and fame seeking.

Answer: I can see her not being his type, but I don't get the fame seeking? She stays pretty lowkey compared to another ex of his.

Anon: the fact that everyone treats this as another girl. She's SARA WOZNIAK, Oscar nominated, funny, smart woman. She has tons of friends, is a social butterfly. She does tons of charity work. She is wayyyy out of his league. She doesn't want a homebody, twenty four year old fuckboy. Her ex is Harry Styles, talk about a downgrade if she was with Justin.

Answer: . That's all I'm going to say.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara was exhausted.

It was 1:40am and she was in her hotel room watching the game. She got back from another long day of filming. They were doing the difficult scenes first. So it was physically and mentally tough on her. She got back to her trailer at 11pm, closed her eyes for an hour, and then got up to eat a snack and turn on the game on her phone.

She still wanted to support the guys, even though in her personal opinion it was stupid to play the starters when they really had nothing to play for. Justin didn't like hearing that, but it's true.

So far seeing Mike carted off and Joey limping, Sara shook her head. She liked Staley, but she could understand the fans frustration with him. Joe had no problem expressing his anger while she was texting him. She was fighting off sleep, even though she would regret it when her alarm went off in a few hours.

The game was now tied and she was upset that Justin was still playing. Why would you risk getting your star quarterback injured? It was probably Justin’s doing as well, the man was committed to football and didn't want to go off the field for nothing, even during injury.

Even millions or miles away she wanted to kill her boyfriend.

She dozed off somewhere during halftime. Her alarm woke her up and the knock of the door signaling the driver was there to take her to the set. In a hurry, she got up and jumped in the shower. Running around, she managed to get to the set on time for hair and makeup. Her phone was dead, so she handed it to Erika to charge.

Unfortunately her tiredness interfered with her work. It was an off day for her and the director expressed frustration with certain faces she made, a couple times she found herself fighting off yawns, which Unfortunately were caught. At one point Alex pulled her aside. "You need to get it together, you don't need any distractions. I don't know why you were up late, but you might need to go back on sleeping pills.

She was right, as much as she loved Justin, he was probably focused on his career,and she needed to be focused on hers. During a quick break, she quickly downed a black coffee and took a caffeine pill, her heart was racing and sure it was stupid and dangerous but she needed this.

It worked though, as the drug kicked in she found herself filming her scenes with ease, and the production team improved. During lunch Austin approached her. "Hey good job, don't worry about it earlier. Timothee got bitched out twice because he kept forgetting the desert scene." She laughed "yeah that sounds like him. I'm fine I just stayed up late, the time different just got to me."

Austin smiled. "The good news is that we are ahead of schedule. So maybe we get to go home a little earlier than expected."

She laughed again. "Yeah but I'll be back in LA with the fashion show at the end of the month, and then in February I will be in Paris doing press work." Austin nodded in understanding. "Our job never ends." They laughed, soon Timothee joining them for some more set pictures.

Once Sara got back to the trailer she was ready to drop. Erika handed her phone back and she opened all of Justin's messages. It was the usual talking about the game, he updated her on Mike and Joey's status. She replied back, even though he would be sleeping, that she missed him and loved him, and that he made her proud despite the loss. Surprisingly he messaged her back that he loved and missed her and promised he'd give her updates on Bosa and Williams. She smiled as Erika rolled her eyes in a teasing matter.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Taylor stared at the screenshot of the deumoxi post. There was only one quarterback that popped up in her head. There was no way The Sara Wozniak was seeing Justin. Granted, she was at Chargers games, but her good friend had a private suite and was a season ticket holder. Plus what about the blonde's he had been spotted with. No offense, but girls like Sara wouldn't be okay with a guy playing the field.

Maybe she was putting too much thought into it. There was Jimmy G, who had the hearts of millions of women. He was close in age to Sara, and more her type. So that would make more sense. It has to, Jimmy would fit the persona of a Hollywood starlets boyfriend. He would be on her arm at the red carpet events, not Justin. Justin would never date someone who had that level of fame. That's right, it made more sense that Sara was seeing Jimmy.

However as Taylor sat in her office, she had a feeling that she was wrong. She grabbed her phone and clicked on Sara's follow list. There was Justin, but not the 49ers quarterback. She did notice that there was Kenny Pickett, Joe Burrow, and some others in her following. She went on Justin's profile and saw that he was following Sara as well as the rest of the shows cast.

That doesn't mean they are dating though, they share mutual friends. She is at games, they probably haven't spoken to each other. Sara only knows him as the Quarterback. Taylor thought

Still, if Sara found him attractive she could easily get any man. But Justin wasn't any man.

"Taylor, any new reports?" Taylor broke her trance and looked up at her co-worker, who was staring at her in confusion. She laughed. "I'm sorry, I spaced out."

"Are you okay?" She nodded. "I'm just tired." He nodded, she continued. "So far nothing yet."

He walked away and she took a sip of coffee. "Focus Taylor." She whispered.

There was no way Justin and Sara were a thing. She is everything he is against.

She didn't feel confident in the reasoning

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How is Abu Dhabi?" Justin had her on speaker as he was getting ready to head to the facilities. Despite the 12 hour time difference they still manage to squeeze in phone calls in between the texts messages and photos they would send. Of course, Sara's photos were alot more interesting than his. The scenery was gorgeous. She made him swear to secrecy that he wouldn't release any set photos she snuck of her in her outfits, he rolled his eyes at that, which he knew she knew. "It's gorgeous, but warm, you know I hate that." He laughed, his girlfriend never failing to vocalize her taste for hot weather.

"I know you do, trust me, it's not fun practicing outside when camp starts." She hummed. "I'm sorry you have a shortened schedule this week. I don't think it's fair."

"Yeah, but that's what the league wants, and we just have to adapt, but I'm confident in the team." From all the way across the world Sara rolled her eyes. "I see you're in media mode already." He laughed as he got in his car. He sent a message to his manager to make sure to check on Nova, although she would probably be busy in her tower. As if his girlfriend knew the Bengal was on his mind. "How's Nova been?"

"She's been good, she misses you though. But she's been getting plenty of exercise on the wheel. Although I had to put it downstairs so I don't hear it at three am." He muttered and she laughed. "Well I was reading up on the breed and they are high energy cats. They are close to a dog you know." He smiled. "I know, I think that's why I subconsciously chose that breed."

"Oh you need a dog!" Justin groaned. She had been pestering about a dog since she became obsessed with Dylan. "Why don't you get a dog." He told her. She sighed. "I mean, I thought about it, especially during the pandemic. But I think with this upcoming schedule I have to put it off til next year."

"I don't think a dog will really ever fit in my lifestyle with the schedule and games."

Sara tried not to let her mind wander to the future, maybe one day they could own a dog together. "I love Golden retrievers." She admitted. Justin laughed "I like labs, good, hardworking dogs you can take fishing."

"Well they have retriever in them, so they are good helper dogs." After a pause she laughed. "I was on a dog's 101 YouTube page." Justin laughed. "You and your YouTube rabbit holes." He would always glance at her screen and find her watching the most random things. Sometimes he found himself telling her to connect it to the television so they could watch together.

The rest of the phone call she explained other deep dives she went on, before she was called to set. "I'll call you tonight." He smiled. "Promise?" She laughed. "Promise. I love you."

"I love you too, have a good day on set."

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"So wait what happened?" Justin was laughing as Sara retold the story. Timothee apparently blurted out the wrong line, and the director didn't notice until he and others pointed it out.

He was getting ready for bed while she was on break. The time difference seemed to work out well so far. It had only been a week, but Justin was counting down the days when she would be back in Los Angeles. The fashion show was Sunday the 5th of February, and her plane was landing on the 27th, however she would be in rehearsal and the Amazon cameras would be following the process of the fashion show before going live. Sara did find a couple times where she could break away to see him, but it would have to be at her place. Which was fine, but Erika would be there as well.

"Can you bring Nova over?" Justin rolled his eyes. "You're only coming home to see my cat?" She laughed. "And what about it?" "Get your own cat."

"Wait a minute, first we discussed a dog, now a cat? Are we making an animal shelter?" The comment had an innuendo behind it. She didn't mean to, but she was curious about what he would say. "I mean, we both love animals." It made her smile. "I think I want a Bengal like Nova."

He snorted. "Good luck, they are a pain in the ass to train." He looked over at the cat on his pillow and scratched her head. "Isn't that right?" Sara laughed.

He decided to switch topics. So are you ready for the fashion show?" She sighed. "I'm nervous. It's live, and if I make any mistakes there's no redo. Plus I'm walking with models! Justin, actual supermodels like Bella, and AnnSophie, and Gigi."

"But there are some others. Kelce's ex is supposed to be there." He paused. "I looked up the list."

"Yeah he's supposed to be there too, so I don't know if he's an ex or what. A couple of other football players are going since one of the programs is teams. " there was a pause and justin had to ask "Is anyone else for you going?" He knew her family was out of the question. She sighed on the other end. "Alisha is going, as well as Samira, but that's for me and AnnSophie, she has her parents cause Lexi is with George for that week. So to answer your questions, no I don't have anyone."

Justin paused. In a split decision he blurted out. "I could maybe go hangout with Kelce and some other guys if I'm not still in the playoffs."

He couldn't see, but Sara's jaw dropped. Him attending a public event? Where people might speculate if they even look at each other? "Justin, I'd love it if you came! I can make sure you come in through the back way and we don't even have to attend the after party." Justin smiled. "I don't want you to miss it because of me. I know you love the people performing." She laughed. "Justin, I can see them anytime. Come on, it will be fun, we can sneak away" He smiled.

"I'd love that."

—-----------------------------------------------------------

"Erika, do you have midol by any chance?" Sara was groaning in her set chair waiting for the director to call for her scene. She had woken up this morning to her monthly gift. She was always early or on time, except that one time in October where she was two days late, she almost had Erika run to the rite aid only for it to come the next day. She hadn't told Justin because he had been on the road, plus it worked out so there was no reason to alarm him.

Erika came running into the room. "I got something wayyyy better she squealed!" Sara looked over confused. "A doctor to rip my uterus out?"

"Oh my god sis, have you not checked your messages? Oh wait only if it's from Justin." Before Sara could bite back Erika kept with the point. "Your agent called! Anna Wintour wants you to be on the Cover of June Vogue!" Sara got up faster than usual and screamed, catching the attention of those around her. "No fucking way" Erika nodded and the best friends tightly hugged. "I'm so proud of you Sara, I know how much you wanted this." It was true, while she had been on the covers of international vogue, this was a big deal. It was Vogue magazine, something she dreamed of when she was in college, her first acting gig, when things took off and people began noticing her. She pulled back and Erika was still smiling. "That's not all!"

Sara was confused. What else could there be?" As on cue her phone rang and she pulled it out of her friends hand to see it was the producers of her show. She answered it and put it on speaker. "You're on speaker"

"Oh good I did the time conversion correctly." She laughed, Finn was one of the main producers, a man in his fifties who had been pitching shows for a while with no luck until now. "You could have just Googled it." He laughed. "That isn't a challenge."

"Is there something important about the show?" Finn laughed. "Why I'm calling to inform you and the rest of the cast that the nominations just dropped for the SAGs and guess what baby! We are nominated! And you Missy, is nominated for Best Actress in a Dramedy!"

Sara screamed again. After discussing the details of the awards which her team was working on as well as a schedule to make a dress. (Designers were already reaching out about making a dress) her castmates all called her as well. She just got a message

I'm proud of you baby- Justin

She teared up. I miss you, I love you.

She couldn't wait til the 27th

"So I hear you are a fellow SAG nominee," she looked up and saw Austin smiling at her. She nodded, "yes and congratulations to you too Mr. Presley." He laughed, he had been down since the death of Elvis' daughter, who he just attended the Golden Globes with. It was nice to see him smiling again.

Before anything else could be said they were called back to set.

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So far the twelve hour difference was working out as well as one could hope.

Sara was up at 5am waiting for the game to start. She sent her usual 'good luck' message to Justin then Patrick was messaging her.

It was such a good game so far. She managed to get to halftime before she had to get to set. They were flying through the scenes and they were ahead of schedule. Of course, anything can happen, but right now it was looking good.

As Erika and Sara arrived on set she was glued to her phone. So much so that Timothee kept trying to get her attention "hey!" Sara looked up and Erika snickered. "She's absorbed in her boyfriend's football game"

Sara's eyes widened as Timothee smiled. "Get out. Sara you're seeing someone?" Before she could respond he laughed. "I knew it! Those guys' clothes in your closet when we were getting ready for Virgil's party."

"So who is he?" Timothee came around to look at the screen." Sara pulled away, looking around to see if anyone was near she whispered "He is the quarterback."

"The what?" He whispered back. She rolled her eyes. He didnt know shit about football. "Just don't say anything. Unlike a big mouth." She glared at Erika who was sheepish. "I'm sorry! I can't keep up with who knows or not."

Sara shook her head. She was getting nervous. The Jags were catching up and this Lawrence dude was better than the first half. Unfortunately, she had to put the phone down to head into hair and makeup.

Deuxmoxi instagram

Word on the Dune 2 set is that an A list actress who signed on for the sequel has a new boyfriend she is trying to keep on the DL. He is athletic.

Taylor Biscotti on twitter.

The hair is flowing between Justin and Trevor on this Saturday night game! Who you got?

Twitteruser1 @/TaylorBiscotti your guy obviously

Twitteruser2 @/taylorbiscotti wish you were there to cheer him on. —---------------------------------------------------------------

Sara was going to be sick

How the fuck did this team blow a lead, she checked the score on a break and it was down to the wire.

She held her breath while looking at the Google updates. It was 3 seconds. Do or fucking die.

The kick was good.

The Chargers were out. The Jags came back.

Sara wanted to cry. She didn't know what to do. She knew Justin was nowhere near his phone and he wouldn't be for a while.

She just kept it short

When you need me I'm here, I love you and I'm proud of you no matter what.

Warning, the drama will kick off next chapter. I don’t think you guys are going to like me much once the next chapter drops.

#Justin Herbert #NFL #Justin Herbert imagine #NFL imagine #Alexa writes collide

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drunktayloratthevmas · 9 months ago

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Fame aau rosekiller exes (unrequited love) happy relationship

Its 11pm and i was going to sleep But this idea came to mind and idk why I feel the need to share so yeah

Barty is a famous singer (think the neighbourdhood But also frank ocean and ldr) and evan is a famous model and a actor (think suki waterhouse a little bit) and they meet one day at an after party of a runway show of evan (barty was there because regulus was also modelling and he is a good friend) and they feel in love that second on that night and they keep talking and flirting and seeing each other for a while

Barty and evan dated for 2 and a half years and they were THE couple and everyone loved them, barty would make or Talk things Related to evan on his concerts and even has a song for him and how they meet and Everything on one of his albums (think margaret by lana del rey mixed with envy the leaves by madison beer) and evan would make lives and lit talk about barty for like 3 hours straight and people would think its the cutest ever

Idk But I think they break up But not because evan got bored or didnt feel loved or they had problems or fights, no, he just break yo with barty cause yeah and move on cause he has the mindseat of "if I did this I dont know why would I Regret it, I Wouldnt have done it if so" so he did that and pack his things But left barty a scrapbool with All of their photos since they meet and a camera wich barty gifted to him For his birthday

Barty never got with evan did it even tho evaned to him why, he was heartbroken and cried for a whole month on regulus' guest room cause his shared room with evan on their apartment had too many memories, he wrote songs for evan after the break up But most of them he never realesed them, he didnt realized when he was begging evan not to Leave him he would Never get over evan

Their fans and everyone was heartbroken too even tho they didnt know the reason of the break up, evan after 5 months of the break up he meet Amos and really liked him so they went on dates and try to date and actually did make each other very happy, people were horrible to the, evan because of how he could be with someone else in such a little time (bitch get over it... You Are Annoying shut up) and to Amos just because everyone loved barty and evan together so the New partner always gets shit on the for no reason other than "your partner looked better with this person" and i think barty would had collab of had been friends with Amos and like had post higlights or put music out with him and when the relationship went public he deleted those for a few days then put ir back on like nothing happened (he was having a mental break down my bbg was NOT okay) and well of people ate that whole ass drama UPPP like I would have too

And i think Amos and evan would still be dating and people Are a lot more suportive of them and liked them a lot more than before and barty would go to a random podcast channel to promote his music and that But they asked a question of "after your break yo with evan you haven't been with anyone else even tho he didnt even need 5 months to do so, why is that?" and yeah ve got annoyed a little at that But he told the truth "im super happy for Amos and evan actually I think they make a great couple and they looks like the love each other and will take care of each other, I will never forget what I say to evan that night things ended, I said it that night, I will say it now and i will say it again “evan rosier I loved you for many years, I love you now and i dont think I will ever not love you... just so you know” and yes i loved evan then, now and i will always love him"

So yyeah girl now its 12:18 / 00:18 and i should go to sleep But I will not I know myself saddly

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anotherdayforchaosfay · 14 days ago

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After three years at a really abusive and terrible job, I finally left this past June and, after taking two weeks to physically recover from a job so taxing I was sick 80% of the time and also catch up on various real-life errands that kept falling to the wayside, I am doing SO much better! I'd been getting therapy the final several months (which helped me with deciding to leave), and my very next session my therapist said he could SEE how much more relaxed and happier I was just from my body language in the first minute or so of call, and since have discontinued due to lack of need. I am allowed to be friends with coworkers now (former and current) and have the time to have an active social life. I am paid way more for way less work and will soon be able to start paying off the expenses I accrued while at my old job. I have the energy to exercise and am slowly but surely hitting various fitness goals of mine and Getting Hot. I have a haircut I love and am cultivating my wardrobe to match my ideal vision of myself. I have read almost 100 books this year. I feel loved and valued and appreciated and altogether professionally, physically, creatively, and emotionally fulfilled, and I have a bright future ahead of me.

(Also, you are cared for and valued, and I love seeing your work and posts cross my dash.)

Yay for progress! My husband has worked for companies that had much the same effect. We didn't have the luxury of affording for him to quit...until the pandemic hit. Then he gave a solid FUCK YOU to the business and walked out. We moved I think...four months later?

That place had been good until the wrong guy was promoted to manager. Suddenly, the restaurant reviews dropped from five stars to three. Something about hearing horrifically offensive music coming from the kitchen combined and food quality dropping. The guy loved listening to rap music that had, um, lyrics that made anyone who isn't white cis-male extremely uncomfortable. You could hear the bass through the walls, and the lyrics as soon as the door opened. Food quality dropped because he decided to "save money" by ordering frozen instead of fresh supplies, non-local supplies from cheaper companies instead of high quality local suppliers, and he demanded things be made faster instead of better. I don't know if the owner finally fired him, but holy fuck...it was bad.

My husband had been working for that promotion, had more than twenty years more experience in kitchens, more than a decade of experience managing kitchens, and just, well, we used the "not strings attached"* checks, maxed out our single credit card**, and moved west over the mountains. Three doctors had told us my health would continue declining if we didn't move somewhere with a humidity rating of at least 40%. In the Oregon desert, 0%-15% is pretty standard. A week after we moved, I was able to walk up the stairs unassisted, and we were going for walks (until the Holiday Farm Fire started raining ash over the area).

He has zero regrets about leaving that place. Currently, he's a dishwasher, and works an hour away. He interviewed for a part time line cook position at a bar. It's a single-person kitchen, breakfast shift (which he wants; he loves working mornings because then he has the afternoon/evening off), and there would be no other kitchen staff to deal with. He's worked similar in the past, and loved it. He can do things his way during his shift, and it's just the servers he'll be dealing with. Oh, and it's a mile away. We're still waiting to hear from them about it. I know that, once he starts working there, he'll be a much more pleasant person. Right now, Wednesday-Saturday is sleep until 10:30AM, first meal at noon, get read for work, leave by 2PM (earlier if he has errands to run), arrive home at around 11PM-midnight, spend a couple hours winding down, muster up the wherewithal to shower due to how much pain his feet are in, and then come to bed. Often as not, he falls asleep shortly after getting home and having dinner. He wants us on the same schedule: up by 5AM, in bed by 9PM. His mental health improves significantly.

*I was forced to pay it back in 2021. IRS took our entire tax return, and for several months thereafter, a portion of his paychecks and my (at the time) $805/monthly SSDI check was taken to make payments. Why? According to the IRS, I'm a non-contributing member of society, and therefore should not have received the check in the first place. I know folks on SSI and SSDI who didn't have to pay that back, but they also don't have to file for taxes every year, which is why they've not been hit with that fuckery. I'm still pissed off.

**It cost around $8k to make the move. We transferred the debt to a different card, closed the account, and have been making automatic payments of now $128/month. So long as the payments remain automatic, no interest will collect. We're at $4728 now. It was worth the debt because of how extreme my asthma had become. We were living in a double wide manufactured house/trailer home. Walking from one end to the other required I take at least two breaks. We had two air purifiers and two humidifiers set up just so I could breathe, and daily need of my nebulizer. FYI using a nebulizer daily can cause heart damage. I learned that two months ago. I had to use it daily from around August 2017-2020. In July 2017, we lost our home to fire, and I inhaled a shitload of smoke. Said smoke contained fiberglass, asbestos, wood, plastic, and who fucking knows what else.

#chaosfay answers #my reply is...lengthy

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asofspades · 18 days ago

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So, there was a convention where I live but I didn't know because it hadn't been active for some years and I'd got a bit disconnected from them and I didn't follow them on insta, then an artist published a story saying they couldn't attend and they could give their stand to someone who wanted it, but I saw it too late so I couldn't take it and then they postponed it for the next week because it was raining cats and dogs and it's done in the open, so it was this weekend instead, on Friday the official Instagram posted a story saying they had two last minute open spots because some artists couldn't attend, I reached out to them at around 8:30pm, which was like 7 hours after they posted it so I didn't think they'd still have a spot.

When they didn't answer by 11pm I assumed they had already covered them so I didn't organise anything and then they reached out to me at 12am, and told me I had to pay 50€, like, I get stands cost money but if I'm doing you the favour of covering a vacant spot that you have already set the least you could do is ask me for like half the original price, also it was way too late and I would've had to organise everything then and then get up at ass o clock in the morning to get there, I also had no one that could accompany me so I ended up not going.

I kind of regret it because my next con isn't yet confirmed since they had to postpone it but it's probably going to be around February. However I've been researching other conventions in my area and it turns out there's another one like 20 minutes away from where I live and it's likely around 50€ as well, entrance is free so that means a lot of people will come by which means more promotion and sales, it's also on the 16 and 17th of November. My only issue is they haven't posted anything regarding how to ask for a stand yet and I would like at least to know a week in advance so I have time to prepare everything an likely bring prints of my new Togachako illustration.

Honestly convention stands are getting so expensive I don't even contemplate getting out of my area for them, like, the next closest place is 1h 20min away by car approximately and the stand costs 200€ and you can't even share it unless you do it under wraps. And you have to pay for accomodations for a minimum of 1 day and also your food and snacks to survive the convention. They also have started only bringing better known artists since that makes people more willing to pay the increasingly pricey entrance tickets, which is cool for said artists but bad for small budding artists who are trying to get some visibility and promote themselves, we have to stick to more local conventions where the cheapest is 50€ and the most expensive around 115€ (which is still way too expensive), and afaik there's only two events that take place in my area that gather people from outside of the area because they hold the same event on different cities, however those are the most expensive and the hardest to get a stand in since they also prioritise bringing well known artists from the whole country. I'm banking on those artists complaining about how the quality of the event has dropped a bit in past years but I know most of that quality pertains more to cosplay/dance/karaoke related activities than the artist alley.

The thing is conventions are supposed to be a launching platform for small artists but the increasingly high prices for stands and the new preference for well known artists to garner a bigger profit from the increasingly expensive entrance tickets is making it difficult for small artists to promote themselves and get followers, local sales and the possibility of commissions.

That and the increasing disregard of people towards the time and care put into artists and artisans works in the manga/anime community makes it harder to cover the expenses made to attend these events as an aspiring small business. People are getting used to buying anime/manga merch on internet sites that are extremely cheap (AliExpress, Shein, Temu....) and then complain about the price of handmade things, some are also more willing to expend 30€ on a figurine of dubious quality from a commercial stand, which also is priced higher than in the physical store of the same stand, but will complain a 5€ handmade bookmark, doble sided, with handmade design, laminated and with ornaments is too expensive since it's not official or does not come from a commercial store. It's exhausting how they demean our crafts, like yeah, 50€ for a handmade skullkid mask carved out of a solid block of wood and hand painted might not be on everyone's price bracket but it is worth that much and even more sometimes, and it's infinitely better looking than the wonky plastic one they sell you at the commercial stand for 35€, which you know the pain will start peeling off in a couple of months

Sorry for the big ass rant, I just needed to complain about how hard they're making for small artists to gain traction.

#artist problems #small artist #small business #convention

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40sandfabulousaf · 9 months ago

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大家好! Sooo... an entire post dedicated to what I got up to during Chinese New Year. Well, N and I 'eloped' and went to Batam! It's been 6 years since I set foot on this beautiful island and I was really glad to revisit, make new memories and rediscover the place. Before our ferry, we had a 2-for-1 lunch, chicken parmesan, salad and fries, plus a Guinness and beer each.

So much time has passed, the ferry now boasts new seats! The first night, the crowds at the food centre were so bad, we ended up packing dinner and having it in the hotel. We ordered pork rendang, mutton satay, oyster omelette and pork belly. No photos because we were so hungry, we ate everything and had beers. On the second day, we had breakfast at the hotel and tried local grub for lunch - he had beehoon soto ayam (chicken rice vermicelli soup) and I had ayam bakar, a spicy grilled chicken leg with tofu and a salad.

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N didn't follow me to the gym in the morning but we enjoyed a swim for about an hour in the afternoon, with brief rests between laps. The exercise made us hungry, so we went in search of dinner and ended up at a street food stall where I got attacked by sandflies and now have 9 itchy bites on the back of my right thigh. No regrets though, the chicken and veggies with ikan bilis (anchovies) were so good, we finished everything. After that, we strolled and browsed through the shops a little before making our way back to the hotel where our chilled beers were waiting. I actually lost weight during this getaway, probably because of extra exercise.

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Stuff N introduced me to: black coffee and buah salak, a type of fruit native to both Malaysia and Indonesia. N brought his coffee grinder and press and made strong brews for us. At first I was apprehensive because black coffee tastes like drain water at most coffee outlets including Starbucks but N's brew was pretty good! Buah salak is a crunchy, not very juicy fruit that is difficult to describe. It's an acquired taste but it isn't unpleasant and hey, life is more fun if I try everything once.

On departure day, we had lunch before leaving for the ferry terminal. We actually shared an additional main besides having 1 main each but I forgot to take photos. What happened after that was a nightmare - hordes of people were leaving at the same time and we were stuck at the ferry terminal for hours. N and I reached our respective homes after 11pm! That was on Monday; thankfully this week is a short work week.

This weekend, Grace and Douglas return from Ipoh and we'll catch up over Chinese New Year lunch. They'll cook some dishes, I'll buy the yu sheng (lo hei) and we'll celebrate the best time of the year in earnest. As we feast, I'll pray that the sheer devastation the Palestinians face will end soon. They've seen much blood and gore in recent months, it's heart-wrenching to even think about what they've gone through. 下次见！

#Youtube

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suckitsurveys · 10 months ago

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When was the last time you felt exhausted? Every single day of my life.

….and why did/do you feel that way? Because I cannot, for the god damn life of me, fall asleep before 11pm, so I only get 5-6 hours of sleep a night.

How often do you feel exhausted? ^

What are three things you like about Instagram? I like the option to have stories there so I don’t have to commit to a whole post.

What have you found to be the cruelest thing about growing up? Money.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 🎃 This past Halloween with my niece.

Which do you think is scarier: change or staying the same? This definitely depends on the situation/context.

Would you rather go on vacation to Florida or California? And why did you choose that state? California. I’d go to LA and the beaches.

Can you believe that in three months it will be October already? It’s January.

In life, do you feel like you are winning or failing? Why so? It’s not a race.

Have you ever taken a selfie inside of a doctor’s office? I may have, for like an IG story or something.

What is your favorite season, and what are three reasons why it is your favorite season? SUMMER. It’s warm and I can swim and it just feels nostalgic.

Are you good at painting your nails? 💅 Eh.

Do you have a lot of regrets from your past? Eh, not worth losing sleep over.

What is one biblical command that you often have trouble obeying? I don’t follow the bible.

What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Cry a little.

Do you prefer sun or rain? It honestly depends. I really prefer it overcast and warm outside, but I love a good rain storm and the sun is nice too.

Would you say you are more creative or logical? Both.

How often do you pray? 🙏 Never.

What is the closest thing to you right now that is blue? My hair.

What was the last hot beverage you drank? I’m drinking hot tea right now.

What is your favorite thing that you’ve done so far this summer? It’s winter, but my favorite thing I did this past summer was go to Lollapalooza!

#surveys

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abrushwithdeath · 10 months ago

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🎉❤️ obviously he can't let his girl not get a new year's kiss

@lediableblanc-amoureuxdechats

It's not like they hadn't already spent a good portion of the evening stealing kisses, obviously, but once 11pm hit, there were no more kisses to be had. Not until midnight, at least. Anna Marie had declared as such just a few minutes past ten because she wanted that kiss at midnight to feel... a little more special, maybe? Actually, she wasn't sure what she'd been thinking and, by the time 11:30 rolled around she was already regretting it. (Who knew an hour could be so damn long?)

She supposed she could have rolled back her decision part way through the hour. She doubted that Remy would complain (though he might tease her some about it). But she was stubborn. Even when she was a little bit tipsy, and even when Remy was pressed so close she could feel the brush of his stubble against her cheek- she was still stubborn. No kisses. She could hold back. Just for the hour, she could hold back. They'd gone so long without kissing before all this that she'd thought it would be easy. Clearly, she was wrong.

But midnight would come eventually. And with it, the start of a new year. To some, that meant a chance to change. An excuse to try to flip their lives right side up and get their shit together. For some, when they inevitably slipped up a month or two in, they'd say to themselves "there's always next year" and fall back into the same patterns as always. Maybe that's why Anna Marie rarely thought of this transition as something so transformative. The calendar reset to "01/01", but your life kept right on chugging along like nothing had changed. It was all in your head. So why not make the effort to make changes on March 12th? Or June 22nd? Or even November 8th at 10pm with a whiskey sour in one hand and blind optimism curled in the palm of the other?

A glance at the clock post-conversation with Logan and Ororo suggested she only needed to wait out 7 more minutes before she'd be kissing him again. Yet she hadn't even though to ask him about what this all meant to him until right here, right now, the ice clinking in the now slightly watered down alcohol at the bottom of her glass. "Got any New Year's resolutions?" She asked Remy, reaching up to brush the satin of her glove along the slope of his jaw. Even through the thin fabric of the glove, she could feel the light prickle of his not-quite-so-freshly shaven facial hair against the pads of her fingers. It sent a little tingle through her. The thought of her lips, her teeth, brushing against the same path her fingers were now following...

Her only resolution was a long standing one, not something that came new and fresh with the changing of the year. She wanted to get this fully under control. She wanted to be able to touch every inch of him, to press her naked body against his. Nothing left between them. But it was more than that: she wanted to let some of the fear go. It would never leave her entirely, she was sure- you don't live as long as she has playing it careful just for that anxiety to disappear overnight. It was about controlling her powers some, yeah, but it was a lot about the mental work, too. And the mental work was a bitch. So she supposed she wouldn't beat herself up over it if the end of this coming year saw her without full control. Still, though, it was a nice thought to think that by the time 2025 rolled in, she'd have it figure out. She told Remy as such, too. Not because he ever pressured her, but because this was something that was entirely within her reach, she thought. "This year, I'm gonna play optimistic. Ain't served me none in the past to be broodin', right? And I suppose ya've proven ya ain't goin' nowhere..." She tapped her finger against his lips with that.

3 minutes to midnight.

"Guess we'll jus' strap in an' see where the years leads," Then, just to tease him some. "Could strap-on, too, if yer willin'..." The words were blatant enough, she didn't need to explain any further. Though she did follow them with a soft chuckle, even if it wasn't intended to detract from the seriousness of her words. After all, it's not like they hadn't discussed it before.

The final countdown started up soon after and she didn't hesitate to get a grip on his tie and tug him nice and close. Her green eyes locked on the red of his and she swore she could feel the sound, the rhythm, of every second tapping inside of her like a living thing. If they'd come this far in a year, she wondered how much further they could make it with another to follow. And hopefully another after that. And plenty more even beyond then.

"5!" Her fingers tightened their grip on that tie just a bit. "4!" And she was leaning up a bit with anticipation. "3!" Every nerve was a live wire- like there was electricity crackling in her veins. "2!" Last year's kiss had been short lived. Much shorter than either would have liked. "1!" This year, though? This year, he'd be hard pressed to get her to stop.

She slipped her arms around his neck and pressed herself up against him as their lips met. Forget everything and everyone else. Nothing beyond them existed. At least not for now. She hoped he'd caught his breath beforehand because Anna Marie had no plans on letting him actually stop anytime, soon. Not with the way she was kissing him right now with fingers in his hair and lips parting. She was gonna keep this up until her lungs were screaming or her powers kicked in. Whichever happened first. And, much to her surprise, it was the need to catch her breath that had won out. (It made her wonder just how much more she could do when she wasn't letting herself worry or overthink it all too much...)

The next kiss was smaller, a quick little kiss to accompany a now long overdue "Happy New Year". One which was soon followed by the reminder that they were still, upsettingly, not all alone. Though it was good that they were near the back of the room- she didn't much like the idea of winding up as the center of attention. "Whatcha say we get outta here? Ring in the New Year in a more... excitin' way..."

#lediableblanc amoureuxdechats #v; ''i cannot hide myself from you. i cannot hide my heart from my heart.'' // lediableblanc amoureuxdechats #((Well this ended up being much much longer than I intended. Oops xD))#reply

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bpdrecovery101 · 1 year ago

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"help im splitting" post

Hi.

I'm tired of being sick.

I'm also tired of trying to research and being told nothing or "maybe you need to let your relationships go" (that sounds like giving up, honestly).

As of tonight, this moment, 11PM PST on August 12, 2023, I have split badly. I have relapsed and distressed those who are important to me, causing me to be more distressed. I can't live a life like this.

Consider this (hopefully) like a bit of a BPD survival guide. Essentially, it's a bit of a diary, too. As I recover, you can recover too.

We can do this. Intro below the cut. (tw for suicide discussion, ideation, splitting)

hi.

this is me with my dog (and my blurry cat in the top left corner).

this picture was taken about a few hours before id split really badly and almost attempted. i have attempted in the past. i would also split later that night and proceed to do things that would distress people that i would regret.

this is also me that day

got a new dog. i love her! except bpd kinda made me forget that, and kinda made it irrelevant. i just thought, in those splitting moments, that everybody hates me and im better off dead.

these things weren't true, of course. i thought that sharing a bit of my story may help. im going through it with you. sometimes it's fine, a lot of the time it isn't.

im kinda tired though of living like this. i dont want to live wondering when my next fit will be. it's exhausting, and it exhausts those around me too

so the name of the game here is recovery. diary posts are tagged as #diary so you can block them if you want to. otherwise, im sharing my experience and what is helping me recover.

we got this. it's hard but we can do it.

#actually bpd #bpd #bpd recovery #introduction #me irl #dog #suicide discussion #suicide ideation #bpd splitting

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studywithsilver · 1 year ago

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d-90 for exams- weekly update

Thoughts (last) week: I completely forgot to post an update yesterday for last week, but I did manage to go to bed at 11PM, so do I regret it? Probably not. (I did lose my weekly progress of hours on my tracker though, but no worries.) Last week was a little stressful, considering that I couldn’t get much done, especially with my dental appointments. I managed to finish AS Chemistry though, and I’m currently working on practice paper questions for the first half of A2 Chemistry. Still haven’t got a move on Quantum Physics though. I started working out too last week! It’s been like three years. I didn’t think I’d be this sore though. Anyway, I’m thinking of starting a small diary entry for each day from d-90, but I’ll be posting weekly updates digitally.

#alevels 2023 #exam prep #study #studyblr

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beachstarrealtycom · 2 years ago

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33H-Golf Colony in Surfside!

This is a great condo to make a recurring destination! This condo has 3 queen beds (2 in upstairs room). You can have the whole family in this super nice coastal abode. With fun in the sun this condo is the perfect accent to your family trip. Enjoy the full kitchen and dining area including bar stools for additional seating. All the appliances you need to cook a nice dinner at home are there for the chef of your family! The spacious balcony is great to sit and relax and take in a wonderful sunset.

**Must be 25 years of age or older to reserve**

WE REGRET WE CANNOT ACCOMMODATE EARLY CHECK-INS

CHECK - IN : 4:00 PM

CHECK –OUT : 10:00 AM

Front door keypad details will be provided 24-48 hours prior to your arrival. Travel safely!

House rules:

**Must be 25 or older to book**

**No Smoking and No Pets Permitted**

Checkout is at 10AM

HOA Rules & Regulations

Please treat our home and the grounds with the same respect as you would your own. Thanks in advance!!

Pool: 9am-11pm No glass or pets in pool or surrounding enclosure. No children under 12 years of age allowed in Pool without a parent or guardian. Please observe and respect rules and regulations posted in pool area and court side. First Aid kits are located on pool decks next to emergency phone.

Balconies: Please do not hang your towels or bathing suits on balconies. A dryer is provided in each unit. No portable grills are permitted on balconies!

Grills: Grills and smoker are provided for all residents and guests to utilize. Please ensure you are attending the grill at all times during usage. Portable grills are not permitted on the balconies or patios.

Trash: All garbage should be firmly secured in bags and deposited in the dumpsters provided in the designated parking lots. Not all buildings have a dumpster in their direct lot. Please use the ones located in the parking lots of the adjacent building or opposite building.

Hazardous Materials: No flammable fluids such as kerosene, explosive or flammable materials or any other articles deemed hazardous are permitted in units.

Common Areas: Please do not obstruct common areas with bikes, floats, chairs etc.

Parking: Each unit is allowed 1 parking space. All others must park in overflow parking just across from the main lot. No boats, trailers or oversized vehicles shall park in the community lots. Please be considerate of other guests and homeowners.

Noise: Quiet hours are between 11pm-7am as per Surfside Beach ordinance. Please consider your neighbors & noise kept at a reasonable sound level.

Thanks in advance for your compliance and we hope you enjoy your vacation!!

For more details on our products and services, please feel free to visit us at: Surfside Beach Rentals, Surfside Vacation Rentals, Surfside Beach Condos, Surfside Rentals with Pool & Surfside Beach SC Rentals.

Please feel free to visit us at: https://www.beachstarrealty.com/

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1plus1kiyoomi · 4 years ago

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Sakusa’s Best Gift

: fluff, domestic, dad!sakusa, dad!sakusa

a/n: happy birthday to my mans!! 🥳❤️

Sakusa sighs heavily as he slings the bag over his shoulder. He glances at his watch and frowns. It’s 30 minutes after 10PM. He only has an hour and a half left to celebrate his birthday. If it wasn’t for the damn training that took over his whole day, he would have spent his day with you and your daughter.

Sakusa never even liked celebrating, but your daughter was so excited about his birthday. She rambled all night about how she would make it the happiest birthday of his life. She even planned a surprise for him, which he knows all about, because the child wasn’t particularly good at whispering and keeping secrets.

Sakusa knows about the cake your daughter iced herself. He knows about the dried peaches that she made for him. He knows about the card she wrote for him. But her plans are all ruined because of a training he could have skipped, but he didn’t want to. He regrets making that choice.

After a quick drive to your house, Sakusa checks the time before getting out of his car. A little over 11PM. It’s still his birthday. He silently wishes that you are still awake so at least he can spend the remaining time of his day with you. He enters the house and sees how dark the hallway is, the only light provided is the one from the kitchen.

“They must be asleep...” Sakusa frowns. He stalks to your room and finds your sleeping figure tucked under the bed. He drops his bag on the floor quietly before sitting on the foam. He pulls his mask down and plants a kiss on your forehead, mouthing a soft ‘I love you.’

The athlete changes into his pajamas and just when he’s about to join you in bed, the door opens.

“Papa?” A small voice speaks and the door opens wider. Sakusa smiles at sight. His little girl in a black Jackal pajama set, that was specially made for her given by the team. Her small hand rubs on her eye, the other clutching on her her fuzzy blanket.

Sakusa walks over to her and tries to pick her up, but she avoids his hold and gets out of the room. He follows after her small figure. “Hey, baby. Why are you still awake?”

She goes to the kitchen and pulls the fridge handle with all her might, the blanket pooling on her ankles. Sakusa watches her in confusion and amusement. The refrigerator door finally opens and she points at a box. She looks up to him with dog eyes. “Papa, help...”

“Oh, sorry,” Sakusa chuckles. He was so amused of her actions he forgot to help her. He takes the box from her and places it on the dining table. “What’s this?”

“Don’t open it yet!” Your daughter scolds. She runs out of the kitchen and ventures back to her room. Not long after, the small girl comes back quickly with a big box in her arms. She checks on the digital wall clock and sighs in relief.

“What’s that?” Sakusa asks her and she climbs on the dining chair, the box she was bringing now on the table.

“Happy birthday, papa!” She cheers, taking the lid off the first box. There’s a cake inside covered by pink icing and topped by sliced peaches, a lot of sprinkles too. “I love you!”

Sakusa hugs her tightly, lowering his body to kiss her cheek. “Thank you, baby. I love you too.”

“I waited for you to come home!” She proudly tells him, hugging him back. “I made you a gift! Open it! Open it!” He opens the gift as she says. It’s a scrapbook with a bracelet that he can tell she made herself from the mismatched beads. There’s also a bottle of alcohol that is designed with car and rainbow stickers. A

“I like it. Thank you.” He smiles at her, and she returns the favor, flashing her small pearly teeth at Sakusa. “Let’s go to sleep. It’s late.”

“No! No! It’s still your birthday. We have to celebrate it until that clock turns 1 and 2!” His daughter argues, pointing at the clock.

“We can celebrate it tomorrow.” He picks her up from the chair despite her whines, but she eventually gives in to her sleepiness. As the father and daughter reach your shared bedroom, she’s already fast asleep, too fast for someone who was jumping like a bunny a few seconds ago.

“Omi?” You sit up from the bed, hand slowly rubbing on your eye. Sakusa can not help but smile. You and your daughter act way too much similarly. No wonder why he loves her the way he loves you.

Sakusa lays your daughter in the middle of the bed before slowly pushing your should back down to the bed. “Go back sleep.”

“But your birthd-”

“Shh... no wonder why our daughter is so excited about my birthday. We can celebrate it tomorrow.” He pecks you on your lips and you nod, wrapping your arms around your child before closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep.

After making sure that the two of you are asleep, Sakusa gets out of the room to put back the boxes on the table back to its proper places. He puts the cake box back into the fridge first, after snapping a photo of course. He would never forget to take a picture of his daughter’s masterpiece.

Out of curiosity, Sakusa picks up the scrapbook and flips through it. It’s just pictures of him when he was a child up to now. He takes a mental note to call his mother, because other than her who else would give you access to such embarrassing pictures? He stops on a page, seeing his baby picture with his parents, and a small note you wrote at the side.

Don’t forget to thank your parents for giving life to you. Because I surely am thankful to them for giving birth to you. ❤️

Sakusa lets out a snicker. “So cheesy.” He smiles at your note nonetheless. On the next page was him as a baby and your daughter months after her birth. The resemblance is uncanny. She surely is her daughter. He laughs at your written note at the side.

I carry her for nine months and go through so much pain to push her out, but she still ended up looking like you! That’s so unfair! But it’s okay as well. At least I get to see a little you everyday.

He stops on a page with a picture of only the two of you back in high school. Sakusa is sure that the picture was taken during his 18th birthday. In the photo, he was holding on to a cake you baked, while you were hugging him by the waist. He never understood what was so happy about birthdays until that day. He doesn’t forget to read the note.

Your first birthday that we spent together. Komori and I had a hard time planning it because you didn’t want to celebrate it, but we know you had a great time that day. And we did it for the first time that day 😳

Sakusa chokes at his own saliva after reading the last sentence. He clears his throat and continues to skim through the book. At the very last page is a picture of the three of you together. It’s a simple picture but it’s Sakusa’s favorite. The three of you were in bed, your daughter’s arms wrapped around his neck, while you are seated between his legs. One of his hands was on your growing belly, and the other is on the back of your daughter’s back. The note on the side undoubtedly makes his heart swell in happiness and his lips curl into a big smile.

Thank you for being born in this world.

And below your handwriting is your daughter’s.

We love you so much.

Before the clock strikes 12, he opens his phone and posts a picture of you and your daughter in his Instagram, his first ever post in his account. He’s a private person, but everyone deserves to see the two of you— the best gift ever given to him.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu sakusa #hq imagines #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa scenarios #sakusa imagines #sakusa fluff

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