#posting this after my last piece is kind of funny (crying) i think

[wrenkos]

guilt

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[velvetwyrme]

i eat up ur recs with a spoon and have almost gotten to the end of the list!!! do u have any other self insert recs? thank u! u have great taste

MWAH MWAH ILY !! THANK YOU and yes ofc I have more recs (not as many as last time, but it should still be a decent list to sink your teeth into <3)

Take care when reading, and always be sure to check the tags!

Same notation as last time, with STATUS of each fic labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued. (Unless the author specified that the fic is Discontinued or on Indefinite Hiatus, I will mark it as Ongoing/Unfinished. Oneshots are also marked as such.)

Spicy (Explicit) and/or Dark fics have also been labelled if relevant. (I won’t mark ones with just suggestive themes/moments, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death or gore I [probably] won’t mark it as dark.)

MULTICHAPTERS

As always, tread carefully while reading and take care of yourselves <3

Edit: Fixed a missing link or two!

These Masks We Wear - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

TIME LOOPS BABEY!!!! This reader is a delight from the get go because they have been stuck in a time loop and are... rather impulsive because of it, which lands them in a bit of a mess, because these strange, dangerous monsters have just emerged from the mountain. (I'm screaming and yelling at this fic very intensely)

Resisting the Current - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

If you haven't read this yet please do yourself a favour and read it. The premise was enough to get me irrevocably hooked (anti-harem but the gf is ALSO into you. ALSO SHE'S YOUR EX) and the writing is just FANTASTIC. I'm obsessed with the dialogue and description at every turn. Also, I would very much like to kiss Quinn please and thank you. The plot is beginning to set in now, and it's so good??? I have to cut this short or else I'll talk forever <3

ALSO the same author recently posted the first chapter of Wishbone which has me in a vice grip!!! AHH

Comic Classifieds - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

*kicks in the door* DID I HEAR... FAKE DATING? Very sweet VERY funny, with an extremely extraordinarily awkward reader. (Who is also "cute in an awkward, baby giraffe kind of way.") It's sooo good please please check it out.

Stolen with Friendship, Captured by Love - Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

2016... I still love this fic deeply <3 It's so SWEET and it reminds me of the good days of fic... Papyrus is. a Lot to deal with, but the reader takes it all in stride. He is SO full of energy and I want to sqUISH HIM.

Tough Choices, Tougher Consequences - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I loooooove stories where soldiers get thrust into awful political matters. After you are forcefully removed from the battlefield, the Emperor gifts you his finest gladiator- Papyrus. He intends for the monster to be a toy to you as much as you are a toy to him, but you can't accept that and quickly broker a deal with Papyrus for his freedom.

Already There - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: INCREDIBLY SAD AND GOOD]

BURSTS INTO TEARS. Like for real though I adore this fic, it will break you into a hundred million pieces. My beloved son!!!!!!! I can't believe I didn't add this one to my last list it's such an influential piece of my existence like genuinely

There is also a sequel! Which hasn't updated since 2018 BUT STILL IS REALLY GOOD. If you want a slightly less heartbreaking story, the author also has another Sans/Reader; A Tale of Dog and Monster which makes me want to cry but in a happy emotional way instead.

Here's to You, Doll - Mafia!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ah... this one is very fun. You're a scientist who gets accidentally isekai'd into a Mafiatale universe and becomes stranded there. Unfortunately for you, Don Gaster and his brothers think you are a spy, so you're kinda stuck with them. Also Sans is kinda a little freak in this one at times (/appreciative)

Soul Collector - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The reader (the Soul Collector) gets transported into another universe and has to stay with their alternate, who is the skeleton's terrible neighbour. You look just like her, of course, resulting in a lot of VERY confusing interactions. I wasn't expecting to, but I actually really like Meyer.

Consequences - Papyrus(?)/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Anti harem, but the reader gets mcfreaking MURDERED (and so does classic Papyrus?!) so now they are both Ghosts. Focus is currently more on platonic relationships and REVENGE but I'm enjoying the twist on the typical anti-harem structure!!

My Soulmate is a Pastel Goth (And Other Concerns) - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Edge is very cute in this and I also feel really bad for him, he's trying so hard but the MC will not give him the time of day ;w;!! I looove me a good tumultuous soulmate fic. (Note: this fic also features Fem!Frisk as Sans’ soulmate in the bg, so if you’re not a fan, that’s something to note ^^! Fr//ans isn’t quite my thing, but tbh I’m really interested in seeing how things turn out here!)

ERROR: Not Found - Error!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Error, gets obsessed with the reader and kidnaps them! It's slice of life, so don't expect TOO much hard hitting angst here, it's more about being woo'd by the strange stalkerish entity who knows everything about you <3

When Death isn't an Option - Horror!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

I'm a sucker for immortal readers, especially ones that get stuck in HORRORTALE of all places. This fic is very fun and plays in the Horrortale sandbox in a fun way- I'm enjoying it a ton so far :]!!!

Additionally... if you liked that or if you're like me and love immortal readers forced to make decisions of extremely dubious morality and sense because of their immortal nature, you should also check out Cadarverous and 𝚎𝚊t. which are both very dark and very compelling.

Babysitting with Extra Morbid Steps - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

So the first thing you need to know is: Papyrus is dead.

... WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT- this is a really brilliantly written fic about like. SO much fucked up shit happening. The reader is Sans' friend, who he has hired/tasked with guarding the various alternates he has. just straight up imprisoned(?!?!). I avoided this for a while because of the aforementioned Papyrus Being Dead thing, but HOT DAMN I'm glad I read it in the end. Delightfully horrifying, but it gets sweet I swear!!! I would say read the tags but those are Spoilery ;)!

Additional note; the comments section often has Really Interesting dissections of characters and their motivations, which if you're into that (like me) then you should read those too!

All You Knead is Loaf - Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Super sweet, VERY punny fic that updated over the course of a month iirc. It's a cute food-centric Sans/Reader!

Like a moth to flame…or a lamp - Mothman Horror!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

BIG MOTHMAN HORROR!!! He's so sweet and sad this poor man. He has mistaken the reader for his mate and is trying to woo them again...

Those Times I Met His Brother - Sans/Reader - Finished

Essentially you befriend Papyrus and keep getting left with Sans, during which you grow closer. Love Papyrus' not-so-subtle attempts to get them together afjkdfjsf,,

Just Try and Help (Lil Old Hopeless Me) - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Skeleton reader! Very angy skeleton reader. They do not Want to be here (understandably, considering they were essentially kidnapped) but their former caretaker is gone, and they have nowhere to go.

Lovely House of Bones - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Six monsters get stranded in a snowstorm, and you help them not freeze to death by inviting them into the house you inherited. I'm really excited to see where this one goes :D!

Maybe In Time, You'll Want To Be Mine - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

More!! Soulmate stuff!!!! SOULMARKS BABEY!! Love it when there are misunderstandings! Love it when there are cuuuuute background character kiddos!! AUGH it's cute! And angsty! But cute!!

No Good Deed - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

You volunteer at a local homeless shelter where you meet a strange, less-than-friendly volunteer. Short and sweet!

Nothing but Skin and Bone - Horror!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

MORE Horrortale content! This one only finished last month or so- it goes from angsty to sweet/cute and it's real good!!

If you read that and want EVEN MORE sadness and gore, the author's other work Vivid Blood, Pale Scars (DARK) is very tragic and very fucked up because you get saddled the Horrorfell boys this time. MUCH Hurt and No Comfort!! All the endings hurt me in different ways and none of them are happy. LUCKILY(?) the spinoff/AU where the skelebros and reader from VBPS get pulled into a multiversal skeleton house; Blurred Lines, Opened Wounds has just started!! Surely nothing can go wrong. Surely.

The Princes' Bride - Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

What if you got kidnapped by the king to marry his sons. "Why" is a good question. And an even MORE pressing question is: how do you get OUTTA here. (Papyrus is a sweetie, Sans is distrusting, and King Gaster is a mysterious weirdo who is a good dad and bad everything else.)

MorTificaTion - Bad Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Reader from Outertale gets yanked into Horrortale! They then have to masquerade as Sans' wife and Aliza's mother, all the while trying to just stay alive. Not to mention the other Sanses running around... really fun premise and I'm excited to see where it all goes >:0!! Also extra kudos to the name of the fic because YAY Murder Time Trio (MTT) mention!

So here's the plan... - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader/Underswap!Papyrus- Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

VERY CUTE!! Love them. Fake dating except there's a third conspirator involved. Each of them was also trying to set the other two up in a couple uwu. Chapter 1 is cute, and chapter 2 is spicy ;)!

Just a Cat - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

The reader is in fact, not just a cat. (He is a shapeshifter, and pretends to be a cat.) Shenanigans ensue.

An Apple a Day Keeps the Asshole Away - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Unhinged. When I say unhinged I mean it in the best possible way but it IS unhinged. They're all a bunch of little FREAKS. Please read it, if only to experience the absolute TERROR of Miss Bluebell and also Steve. What the hell (appreciative)

Honey Lemon Tea - ...?/Reader - Discontinued

RAGHHH I'm so sad this was discontinued :(( I loved the set up and the mystery so much... the author did leave an end note with how the plot would have played out though!

Shifting Morals - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You go stargazing and have an encounter with a mysterious stranger :0c?! (It's Sans. He's a cool beasty guy, and he is very very sadly Entirely alone.)

Additionally, this fic was suddenly revived 5 years after posting the first chapter which I have immense respect for.

The Key To Freedom - Yandere Buttontale!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Yandere Papyrus! Not a common sight, but this fic does it particularly well. He mostly wants to eat your soul at first, but then he starts getting... attached. The bittersweet ending!!! AUGH.

Milky Tea and Souls - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

What if you could summon bitty versions of your soulmates!! And oh stars why are there so many- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE KEEP APPEARING??? The reader has a handful of skeletons and more to deal with!

The House on Lane 66 - Various/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I feel like legally I have to include this (/lh /j). I finally finished it recently and went "WOAH..."

I stopped reading for a while (because of the length...) BUT I returned to it because I really really enjoy the world building (like holy SHIT!!!) but oh my god that sure is. a Million words now. It is TECHNICALLY finished, but that's only because the next part is in the works(?!?!?!)

Love Grows - Farmtale!Sans/Anomaly!Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

🎵 Love grows where my rosemary goes~

The reader doesn't have a physical body or a way to interact with the world while they watch over Saejun and the rest of the Farmtale characters. They inhabit a scarecrow to have some semblance of personhood, but they remain unable to talk...

Falling - Underswap!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

You are dying. You are dying and all of a sudden your dad is asking you to pick out a fucking slave of all things. The monster does not trust you (fair) and he thinks you are faking your illness for attention (less fair. what the fuck). Really interesting dynamics in this one!

Se Brûler - Grillby/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I reaaaally love this fic! Sweet fluff! Angst! THE DRAMA!!!!! AUAUUUUGH I have too much to say about it just go read it.

Early Bird Special - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Old fic that's still updating!!!! Really interesting plot that just keeps getting More Dramatic as time goes on (in a good way). It's a Slavetale AU, in which the reader ends up joining the resistance after a few chance encounters. The author also has a spinoff fic with the same premise but featuring Underfell instead, which results in quiiiiite a lot changing.

nemesis & nike - Various Horrorbros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

The reader essentially starts off in a zombie apocalypse and then gets transported into an alternate universe where they initially think that the various skeletons they meet are zombies. Turns out they are not in fact, zombies, but like most of them still want to kill the reader so...

Rules to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

More zombie apocalypse stuff! Except this time you're stuck there with a pair of weird skeletons! You give them nicknames so you don't get attached, but of course you end up getting attached anyway.

To My Horror - Horror!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Post-surfacing Horrortale fic where the skelebros get to go live their farming dreams. With you! Slice of life with a dash of intimidation and angst.

If you enjoyed the Horrortale/Farmtale fusion, you'll be glad to hear there's also...

The Skeleton Stalks - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another Horror-farm-tale fusion which has just begun recently! You live on a farm and all of a sudden there is this Big Intelligent Dog hanging around. Eventually, your new neighbors are sent to check in on you and your Great(er) Dog, which leads to some sweet interactions.

The Ruse - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This is a rework! I read the original fic while it was being originally posted and I ADORED it, and the rework is superb <3 Sans is the Captain of the Royal Guard, who must fight valiantly against the villanous Eclipse, who exists only to spread terror... and you're just some human chilling on the sidelines, posting treasonous Soriel posts on the Undernet.

I'm so so so excited for it to return auauusgfhfhdj THE ORIGINAL FIC IS GONE SO I CAN'T EVEN READ IT TO SATIATE ME...

Almost Alone - Swapfell!Papyrus/Male!Reader - Finished

I love the sleepy, slow atmosphere this fic has- it's so befitting of both SF!Pap and the MC in this. It's soft and sweet and melancholic auauuauauuughgh I LOVE IT... *bursts into tears again*!!!! Also, there is a side fic which follows different POVs throughout the story, which is similarly well written!

=========================

ONESHOTS

Date night Purring - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

SUPER CUTE (and slightly suggestive)! Also Edge has a feminine body in this which is always fun. Booba <3

Scares and a Sudden Friendship - Horror!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Reader's shitty boyfriend leaves them behind in the haunted house in which HT!Sans is working as a scare actor. Sweet little meet cute! (Meet spook?)

Fallen Star - Underfell!Gaster/Reader - Oneshot

An ooooold fic but one that never fails to break my heart. Written from the perspective of UF!Gaster recording experiment logs about the newest fallen human.

Birdy -Mafiafell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

LET THE BIRD FUCK SHIT UP!! I love the way the Avian... siren(?) reader is characterised... there's also another oneshot in the same series which I enjoyed- love me some weird Creature Body Horror!!

I also really enjoyed the author's other fic: Moss & Mycelium, wherein the reader is a skeleton :]!!

Skeleton's Curiosity - FellswapGold!Skelebros/Reader - Oneshot

SUBNAUTICA AUUUUUUUUUUU YEAAHH BABEY!! I love mermaid AUs and I love Subnautica! Real cute!

Chance Encounter - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

ANOTHER SUBNAUTICA AU :D!! Except it's just UF!Pap this time <33 !!!

Leaving A Mark - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The twist(?) made me laugh so hard I almost cried. It's VERY cute also.

Nice to Scare You - Various/Reader - Oneshot Series

A fun series of oneshots of the spookier variety! Or more Halloween-y at least. All very good <3

=========================

MISC. / OTHER

The Escort - Lust!Sans/Reader || &Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Discussions of Explicit Content.]

No romance! (But lots of kind-of-onscreen fucking.) This fic feels like looking at a bunch of polaroids, seeing a snapshot of existence. Life out of context. And it works SO well. It makes me feel sad and existential and I really love it.

Rubble & Ramparts - (An R&R-Inspired AU Fic) - Various/OC || Various&OC - Ongoing/Unfinished

Not a reader insert, but it's like. An AU of a reader insert so I'm including it here!!! Rubble and Ramparts is of course, inspired by R&R (Rabble & Rampallians), which was on my previous list but is getting linked here again for ease of navigation

ALEXIS my beloved!!!!!!! I am in loooove with the way things are going in this fic. It's so COOL and Alexis is such a freaking DELIGHT. Also I just really love reading all the notes from the Cutting Room floor, which the author has kindly included in a separate fic for your reading pleasure!!

ALSO in writing this I also remembered there is Another Spinoff AU fic which IS a reader insert (that I'm enjoying)...

Perception & Patronage (An R&R Spinoff) - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Thank the stars I remembered this, it's really fun!! Also judging by the tags there is also plans for. not only Various Sanses/Reader, but also READER/READER, which is such an underrated thing I love it, but I digress. It's a really fun spin on a really fun fic <3

Teen Livin' - Various Skelebros & Reader + Frisk/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Cute and sad! Platonic reader insert. The reader is a troubled teen who befriends Frisk, and gets to meet a bunch of skeletal guardians. The skeletons have a familial/friend's cool cousin vibe with the reader, which is really sweet! The fic is currently going through a Halloween Special which I'm enjoying quite a bit (Haunted dolls! Ghosts! Blood!! Still very sad :[...)

Something Good - Fellswap Gold!Papyrus/Reader(?) || /OC(s) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Technically not a reader insert since Coffee is the MC, but I can forgive it because I'm really really invested in this and I really adore the character dynamics so far <3 Coffee striking it out on his own is always a fun thing to explore, and I'm excited to see more!!

=========================

I love writing up these rec lists- it's such a fun way for me to rediscover fics I've enjoyed, thank you for giving me another opportunity to reread some of my favourite fics and more importantly to share them with you! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did :D!!!

I'll probably leave it here for now or else I'll end up rereading fics forever lolol it's already like 3am I gotta sleep SOMETIME

[mairon-goth-minion]

time for James (this follows my Regulus post (which follows my Barty post (which follows my Evan post)))

James Potter who grew up surrounded with love and affection

James Potter who’d never known anything but kindness

James Potter who’d thought that everyone was just as happy as him

James Potter who felt physically sick when he learned about what all of his friends had had to endure in their childhood

James Potter who was most touched by his best friend’s story

James Potter who, the day he meant his best friend’s younger brother, at his friend’s house to retrieve the last of the belongings as he ran away, felt like he’d just seen the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen

James Potter who ever since couldn’t keep his friend’s brother out of his head

James Potter who nearly fell off of his broom at ever Gryffindor-Slytherin game because oh Merlin, that Seeker was goddamn magnificent

James Potter who wished he could just hold the object of his affection and tell him just how much he loved him

James Potter who thought that he’d just end up hurting both of them if ever he confessed, as everything seemed to want them apart

James Potter who tried his best to fall for that smart, pretty, stoic and funny girl who everyone thinks he likes

James Potter who hated himself for loving one he can’t have instead of the one he had

James Potter who simultaneously died inside and felt so alive whenever his crush passed near him in the hallways, though calling it a crush was now quite an understatement

James Potter who would have died thousands of time just for his ‘unrequited’ love to kiss him

James Potter who, when he read about the Heir of the House of Black’s death in the Daily Prophet, on a normal morning, felt his heart shatter into pieces, sinking to the ground, and screaming, and screaming, and screaming, and screaming, and crying, and crying, and crying, and crying, until his voice was gone, until there were no tears left inside of him to cry, until he was hollow and empty

James Potter who, when Voldemort came for him and his wife and his child, yelled at them to run, while not moving an inch himself because dying meant that he’d see Regulus Black again

“Regulus. Reggie. I wish I could’ve called you that. Maybe we’ll find each other, after all of this. Maybe there’s another universe where I wasn’t me and you weren’t you, and where I could have asked you out without facing society’s repercussions. Maybe, if I’d been just a little braver, we could be living together, and I could wake up next to you every morning, hold you tight and tell you that I love you more than the Sun loves the Moon. I would give the world to you, my Reggie, my north star, guiding my way, now gone and leaving me alone and lost. I’ll find you, Reggie. I’ll find you, my star. And I’ll love you more than what you believe you deserve, because you deserve all the love in the world. I love you. I love you. See you, angel”

[sollucets]

beloveds @khaotunq, @pranink & @alexshenry tagged me to do:

every month of 2023! list your favorite/most popular gifset for each month.

i started making gifs in march this year, so january/february are off the table for this. it's funny that it hasn't even been a full year yet. it seems both somehow a lot longer and also like i remain some kind of photoshop baby at the same time. the images in this post will remain undescribed until i have some energy in my failing body, unfortunately

in any case:

march: midnight museum invades all 2 of my braincells. i download photoshop. the end is nigh

most popular: msp/eclipse pool parallel set

favorite: the bams i made for sof

(notes: it's hard to look back at these lmao. what is coloring and why don't i know her. why is everything so dark. who told me to use noise dithering and why did i ever think that was a good idea. anyway)

april: the eighth sense is airing! i meet many mutuals and friends. i figure out about the curves tool (thank god)

most popular: taehyung getting dunked on

(very deserved dunk; very bad set. the coloring of this scene was extremely questionable and i did nothing to fix it it looks so dull and gray. augh)

favorite: feet lining up / jihyun & jaewon on the beach

i really like this coloring actually. it's bright enough to actually see them, their skin doesn't look as weird, and i like the soft pink i made the beach. a win for baby photoshop user rowan

may: the purple is in full swing now

most popular: purple yok

first set to cross 1k! the purple is still very good but in hindsight there are things i now know i couldve done to help his skin. in any case. a banger. beloved

favorite: pink our skyy 2 hands set

[through tears] you're my space. also my first try at typography

june: i lose the will to gif some in the back half of this month, but i also learn to do a Lot of new things, like gradient maps & more complicated typography and transitions and such

most popular: puzzle piece hugs!

deserved! hard to gif and fun to look at

favorite: i think it might be the heartliming i made for vi now! but i still like khathadome from eden too.

july: i try giffing a few different shows. the only friends trailer comes out on the last day and i enter some kind of terrifying fugue state

most popular: sand and ray fighting / crying in the ofts trailer

do you guys remember the trailer 1080p? life was so good

favorite: nobody appreciates my ride enough

august: only friends airs, eclipse anniversary is concurrent, i lose my mind. i also learn to use the method of brightening that i still use & several other fundamental gif tricks

most popular: sandray car makeout

good for them! i start using significant grain on my ofts gifs from here on out and can never decide how i feel about that

favorite: orange/blue eclipse episode seven set

september: the madness continues

most popular: sand cooking for ray / special

ive giffed this scene three times and this is my least favorite coloring but what can you do. this is my third post to cross 1k

favorite: new rules set! i had mixed feelings when i posted it but it's really grown on me.

october: the madness is so much worse. only friends ends and i am left near-catatonic immediately, apparently. also, i learn to blend and use overlays and some other cool things. i join userdramas :'>

most popular: raysand afterglow. as it should be. cheek kissie

favorite: space girl!! show me the stars!!!

loved making this. purple and sparkly and gay. still super proud. that said other runner-up favorites in october are ray's o-face & the boyfriend shirt & akkaye's thumb thing collection

november: i am left cavernously empty after ofts ends and i fill the void with namtan

most popular: last twilight episode one porjai

she <3

favorite: gaipa userdramas set

again, i learned to use musescore for this set just so i could have those pretty notes. :')

december: i am punched in the face by seasonal depression. all is not well. i made just one gifset this month, but at least it was good? :')

and here we are today !! it was very fun to look over everything; thanks so much for playing and have a happy new year everyone

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies today.

Anonymous asked:

Hell yeah, I’d get a daki from you. Also, Edmund as a body pillow? I’d eat that right up! (You can take that literally or figuratively.) Also a Lilia daki would be sexy af. Hmmm, depending on my cash situation later, I’d love to get an Idia dakimakura. The thought of his over flustered face makes me positively FERAL.

Ahh thank you so much, Anon! <3 Of course, feel free to message me about an Idia dakimakura or anything else whenever you want. He is the most perfect fit when it comes to characters to be put on daki, to be honest…

I am also very happy to see you feel that way about the possibility of Edmund as a body pillow hehe I would also love to eat it up both literally and figuratively. This boy is very eatable.

eh-nonnie-mouse asked:

I am sending this ask in super late but your guys piece with mountain Jade killed me. Like seeing the canon art was so cute and handsome and then the groovy had me on my knees clutching my heart and then your interpretation just KO'd me , just like he probably KO'd the poor soul who found him. I could see that one sketch (I think it was you two) where Jade and Rook pass each other in the woods with unidentified long black bags that suspiciously look like people.

But I was revived with the latest cute fucking Octo Trio in Isle of Lamentation and ASFGKJ I am so FERAL for that group of characters. (Not me up here crying in the club at Orthos HUMAN?! cute excited face omg 😭)

Is this Idia's dream and that's why he looks so shocked or is he super concerned because EELS are going to corrupt his baby bro!

Oh and how soft Azul looks at Idia, like they are group of highly disfunctional people who are a little (a lot) crazy for each other in all sorts of ways 🫠 but they are so pretty!!!! and WHY can't Floyd keep his clothes on ahahaha. He's just waltzing around half naked like a gladiator of old and everyone else is dressed appropriately. Orthos excitement over shoes is so cute! Is he looking at Floyd showing off his cool kicks (cause that eel is a certified sneaker head(?) Shoe fanatic?)

And as a last thing. Kalim is like an Asian parent in the way they show their affection through 'You vaguely like something? Here's a lifetime supply because I don't know how else to show my feelings'. Like I know it's just how Kalim is, very open with his affections for Jamil and he probably thinks money and gifts are the best ways to display that. Especially if Kalim can't get as touchy feely and handy as he would like but it just reminded me of that behavior.

No worries, thank you for sending asks!! I am always replying after like 4 months, so “late” doesn’t exist here; time is a flat circle lol

I am very happy you liked that Jade drawing, and YES it was me who drew that doodle of Jade and Rook lol We really love a forest as a creepy setting in general, so I just keep defaulting to something spooky whenever I draw anything related to it. And Jade’s new card was the perfect opportunity!

Jade really is a cryptid from the mountains… And apparently a very charming one 😭

Igni+Octa is such a good combination, I can’t get enough of them! I’m happy you also like them together!! <3 Ortho would always get along with Floyd lol The Tweels are bad influence on him.

It isn’t necessarily Idia’s dream, it’s kind of like an AU? We just wanted to put them in a setting that has vibes similar to Ancient Greece. But you are right: Idia is terrified because while he was talking to Azul, Ortho got completely enamoured by a pair of cool sandals… what else these creeps (fellow shoe fanatics!) are going to give him??

It’s so funny that you noted that Floyd just can’t keep his clothes on, we were wondering the same thing. I drew this sketch a while ago and coloured it the day we posted it, and the entire time I was unsure if I should dress him a little… I guess nah… he really is a gladiator at heart lol

You also completely nailed it about Kalim! I do think that he would love to shower Jamil with gifts, and to him it’s just like little ways to show appreciation and affection… when you are used to your family buying a whole-ass amusement park for one day just because you wanted to hang out there once, getting your beloved Jamil a lifetime supply of chocolate doesn’t feel too crazy at all!

Thank you as always for your kind review of everything that we post <3 I’ll reply to your other ask too!

eh-nonnie-mouse asked:

PEAKED NIPPLE ALERT!

ok sorry sorry but is Deuce going to get stuck again? Because that would be hilarious. Jack can't help himself when his Athletic rival is under him. Do you think they do this frequently? Working out does increase the blood flow and those running outfits are pretttttty tight.

YES!!

Also yes, this is very likely lol It’s a bit difficult to say if it’s them getting too riled up because of them training together, or it’s because Jack would develop a Pavlovian reaction at some point… He sees Deuce in those shorts – things happen :”( <3

Anonymous asked:

If Deuce tugs on Jack's tail, will Jack-

1. Yelp

2. Growl

3. Moan

:3

Anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm the "Deuce pulling on Jack's tail" anon. I forgot to add-

He does it at a random point during the day. Like, just walking behind him and just grabbed it and pulled.

(forgive me for forgetting to add this, I feel bad for sending in two asks for one question....)

I think it depends on what is on Jack’s mind at that time. It’s not entirely impossible for him to produce a sound that is too close to moaning… that would be embarrassing…

But in all honesty, I think he would yelp. Which would also be embarrassing because this is too much of a puppy-like reaction. He isn’t a kid anymore..!

If it’s someone else or Jack doesn’t see it’s Deuce who’s touching his tail, I think he’s going to growl though. The boy’s ready to attack lol

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Sora mayhap? 🍭

SORAAAAA 🥺

Why I like them/why I don’t: im a turbo sucker for "character effectively raised to be a weapon learning how to make friends and exist as like. a Person" so sora makes me bonkers yonkers. his character arc is so good in a show full of Kind of Fumbled Character Arcs. he's not just an impish Little Fucker™ but then he turns into a certified REAL ONE!! A RARE AND BEAUTIFUL GIFT. he loves his friends with his whole heart and his deck rules and it will never not be funny that every time he's in shot he has somehow acquired another piece of candy and/or dessert. I KNOW HE IS STICKY!!!

What I like about their appearance: i love that the aforementioned candy is like basically part of his design at this point. they need to make a sora figure that comes with the lollypop. also his color palette!! the polymerization colors!!! WAAUUGHH

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?: pretty neutral to both his last names.. I do love that they both have etymologies tied to the color purple!!

OTP: im an aro sora truther so i dont really have oneeee.... we were cooking some insane toxic middle school yaoi in dimensionswap AU with sora and yuya and im still fond of it though

NOTP: i see sora/shay a lot and i gotta say, not a huge fan. age/maturity gap that doesnt feel great and in general i just dont rly think shay would be interested in dating someone largely complicit in All That Shit That Happened to His Home even if they repented. shrugs

OT3: mentioned this when i talked about yuya but yuya/sora/zuzu is very sweet.....

Favourite card they use: GAAAH HARD TO PICK AGAIN. I LOVE FRIGHTFURS. i think i gotta give it to either Frightfur Tiger or Frightfur Sabretooth.... my two dear friends i always have so much fun with in tinks. i love Tiger's weird cackle they gave it in-show.

Favourite moment they were in: everyone and their mom is gonna say the sora-shay duel and i get it, it's a great duel, but im sooo so fond of a lot of Sora's smaller moments that show just how much he cares about yuya and zuzu especially. going out of his way to show Yuya zuzu's helmet and prove she's safe during the friendship cup. when he and zuzu beat the shit out of those cops. when sora duels zarc and he's FUCKING CRYING. OVER YUYA. AAHH. LITTLE BABYMAN

Least favourite moment: i think we actually did talk about this but it's so weird that just like. made sora go back to Fusion after the zarc battle and hes just hanging out there?!??! put him back in Paradise City right now HIS FRIENDS ARE THERE!!!

Something I associate with them: this genre of post

[maestro04yayyy]

So some times ago i posted here the start for my antivillain au fic, today I continued it a little, i am not sure if I will leave it like this when and if I post it on ao3, actually i think this is where i should stop the first chapter, i think it is a good point but I wanted to do longer chapters and this is kinda short(1268 words).

This aside please if you want read this and comment or give me tips or insult me I don't know

“remember to eat at least four times a day”.

“yes chloe”

“and to drink lot of water”

“yes chloe”

“and if roger says anything stupid to you just call me, i will give him a piece of my mind”

Sabrina smiled sadly, eyes blinking quickly to avoid shedding tears before throwing herself against Chloe to hug tightly her best friends,  “thanks Chloe” she hiccuped sometimes before stating,”I will be very lonely while you are away…”.

Chloe's heart clenched painfully hearing the sadness in her voice and once again cursed herself for not having been able to skip the family trip, but right now Sabrina was the priority.

She hugged her friend back and started drawing circles in her back to help calm her down, in other circumstances she wouldn't do that in public, especially where her family could see them, but now it wasn't important for her.

“Hey Brina, don't worry, it's just for a month and you can call me anytime, no matter the time or how many times a day” Chloe stated while kissing her friend's forehead, not caring that tears and snots were ruining her clothes.

Sabrina just continued to cry, not letting go of Chloe when Chloe had an idea.

“Hey Brina, why don't you try to hang out with our classmate while I'm gone? i am sure that adrien would be happy to do it if he is free, Alix too and ugh dupain-cheng would immediately throw you some kind of party with the whole class, this way you wont feels as lonely”

That made Sabrina pause a little, enough to stop the tears at least, as she moved her head slightly to look at her friend's face while still resting her chin against Chloe's chest.

“it wouldn't be the same, they aren't like you….” she said that but Chloe could see in her eyes that her friends were still thinking about it.

“Of course they aren't like me, nobody is even near my level of perfection, beauty, confidence and humility,” she said with a smile on her face.

It made Sabrina laugh, initially it was just a smile, then a chuckle but after that she had to use Chloe for support while she bends over laughing.

Chloe gave her a playful shove, “what's so funny? i am only saying the truth”

Sabrina pulled herself together after a good minute, still smiling widely and while clearing her face with her sleeves she simply said,”yes, you are”, and Chloe felt her eyes watering a little.

“CLAUDIA!!! what taking you so long! come here immediately or we are leaving you here!” audrey yelled from the base of the plane, a public one, andre didn't want to use a private jet so near to the next elections, something about complains about the environment or social classes, chloe doesn't really know, she didn't listened to his explanation just like she did not listened to audreys loud and useless complains.

Chloe frowned a little at the name but also rolled her eyes, “if only she could actually do it” she said with a sigh.

she kissed the red head one last time on the forehead, “give it a try Brina, you got nothing to lose” she then added with a soft smile,” i will be back before you say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

Sabrina tried to repeat the word but fumbled on the second sillabe, she blushed a little but gave Chloe her goodbyes anyway.

Sabrina goes back to her father, who is waiting for her inside the airport while Chloe turns her back and hastily takes a few tissues from her bag to clean herself before Audrey can notice and complain about her getting dirty while she walk inside the plane.

Thankfully that woman didn’t seem to notice or care about Chloe's appearance once she got inside.

so she just get to her seat and put her violin case in its spot and sit, dropping her bag one her legs.

she rest her head against the seat while taking a deep sigh

“ehm…hi chloe” chloe just glances to her side, to the seat next to hers, and just sees the nervous and fidgeting figure of her step-sister or how she likes to call her “the liar”.

“hello” she deadpans

Her very unenthusiastic reply seemed to only increase Zoe's discomfort and nervousness until she went completely silent but kept fidgeting with her hands.

Chloe glared at her and she finally stopped moving.

A few minutes later the plane took off and Chloe was really really glad her parents were on the other side a few seats away, she doesn't think she can stand being near her mother for so long.

if only the liar would stop moving so much…..

“god zoe, why are you so fucking nervous!” she stated, pointing her index finger at her.

That seemed to do the trick since she went completely still. but Chloe just stared at her until she finally opened her mouth to answer.

“You and Sabrina are really close” she blurted out and Chloe had to take a moment to process what she said since she didn’t expect that answer.

she eyed her cautiously but agreed,” yeah we are, ever since we were three”

“oh” was all the damn liar said and Chloe could feel her blood rushing a little faster as she clenched her hands on the armrests of the chair.

she glared at her, “you are avoiding the question” she declared, already frustrated.

This made her look away and Chloe had half a mind to hit her but after a couple of deep breaths she looked back at her and said, “it’s….” She paused and looked away again, her eyes darting everywhere in the plane besides Chloe but finally she continued, still looking away from her and her eyes blinking rapidly, “it’s my father….i..i don’t know if i am ready to see him again….”

Chloe's eyes softened a little at that, “ how is he? Audrey's level of asshole or Andre's level?”

“Andre isn’t so bad” Zoe immediately defended him.

Chloe just rolled her eyes and prompted her to answer the question with a not so gentle elbow to her side.

“hey!” she complained but after seeing chloe’s glare answered the question, “ he isn’t as bad as audrey…..i think, i-i never really saw him very much” Chloe could relate to that but said nothing.

“ He just dropped me off at that boarding school. full of snob, rich brats as soon as he could…... .the only memories of him that i have are those of my childhood but…”

“ There isn't much even there right?” Chloe finished for her.

Zoe just looked up at her, “yes…”

Chloe took a long look at her…..sister and sighed, “you know you don’t have to see him right?”

the wide eyes she gave her made Chloe chuckle a little,” why are you so surprised? this trip is only because ANDRE wants to meet him, you or i can do whatever we want and just avoid him” she said smiling.

“Are you sure chloe?” she asked with such earnest and hopeful eyes that Chloe couldn’t resist the action to pet her head affectionately.

“yes, i am. and even if he shows i will just punch him in his shitty face” she said confidently, making her laugh.

Chloe smiled a little wider at the sounds, she looked just like Adrien a moment ago after all and Chloe would do everything to protect him.

but the moment passed and went away and Chloe spent the rest of the flight listening to music and ignoring The Liar.

[raintouchedstars]

The Window At The End of the Road

Summary: Years of survival and fighting for freedom, for a life of her own and all she was left was this. This place, this window, her curse...and him.

Author's Note: An enemies to lovers short piece from a story that I had long since abandoned, but wanted to post it anyway. The characters in this are both immortal adults, 10 years apart but well into their 100s. Though there is nothing too explicit in this story, reader discretion is still advised, mentions of war, trauma, violence, and survival.

The clouds rolled over the city, drenching it in rain that made the buildings look shiny and new. Liana pressed her forehead against the thick floor to ceiling windows of the penthouse, looking down at the blurry lights far below. It should be beautiful, watching the cars move, creating colors like smears on a canvas. Not for her though. The war, the days spend slaughtering one crazed monster after another, the nights spent shivering in terror, unable to sleep for fear of being found. Vulnerable. Unprepared.

Thunder screamed across the sky, and Liana felt like crying with it. There was only one battle left. One fight, against the demon that started it all. The sun would rise tomorrow, and the humans would have no idea of the rage that would be unleashed with it. Would not even know that their entire existence hangs in the balance.

And here she was. She had run away from her family, her friends, all so that could follow him. He would be there at the battle tomorrow. He would not fight on either side. But no matter the victor, she knew he would walk away with prizes no one else would even consider.

He would come back here soon, to this penthouse, that he most likely stole. She wondered whom this house belonged to, and how he had tricked people into giving it to him. The receptionist on the first floor acted as though she knew Liana, and gave her a spare key, no questions asked.

He was waiting for her.

She thought about the last time she had willingly come to him. It had been raining that night too. She had remembered their shared past, and the pain of the truth had made her run to him, demanding to understand why he had chosen to be who he was.

How funny.

She understood it all now. It was so easy to fall below the ice once that barrier was cracked. She was no better than he was now. A monster.

She knew the moment he stepped into the penthouse. There was no grand entrance, no door rattling as the keys were turned. Nothing. Except the pressure of his presence. And his scent.

He always smelled like the clear sky after a rainstorm. How a man that dark would always smell that clean was a mystery to her.

She didn't turn. She saw his reflection in the window glass. A pleased smirk spread across his face.

"Well, well." He shed the outer layer of his suit, revealing the white dress shirt underneath. "I was wondering how long it would take before you came to find me."

Liana turned. Her heart was screaming, her mind did not agree with her eyes and ears, but there he was. Tall, relaxed, an easy smile hiding the cruelty behind his beautiful green eyes.

"I killed you," she whispered.

He pulled his hands out of his pockets, his smile fading, his steps relaxed and slow as he moved toward her.

"I wrung your neck. I can still feel the snapping in my hands. You were dead for three years! You can't be real!"

He came close, till his body pressed against hers, pinning her between himself and the window. "Do I not feel real?"

Liana sunk her claws into his shirt, ripping the white fabric, staining it with red.

So he was real.

"Then explain, Isak."

She hissed, curling her fingers, drawing more blood. He narrowed his eyes.

"Explain why I remember something that didn't happen. Did you make me think I murdered you in cold blood? Is that it? Did you want to make me into a monster just like you? To prove some kind of sick point? I was nothing like you! I never took pleasure in killing! I did what I had to-to survive! Did you put memories of me wanting to destroy and main in head? Did-" Her lungs seized, not letting her continue. Breathing burned as she tried to suck in air through the rising panic.

Looking up, into a set of calm, green eyes, the one physical attribute they shared, she tried to search for some form of confession.

Isak he grabbed her wrist, and pulled her claws out of his chest, the wounds already closing. He held her hands in his, pulling them over her head, looking down at her from between his own arms.

"It's flattering that you think I'm powerful enough to change someone's memories, but no. I did nothing to your mind, except put you back together after you escaped from Narcius the first time."

Isak squeezed Liana's hands. All the years she'd spent, running and hiding in the Second Plane, the world that existed alongside the human world, ran through her mind. He was telling the truth. And it did nothing to ease her pain.

"Why would I want you to believe you had killed me?"

He let go of her hands, and they feel limply to her sides.

"I have nothing to gain from it. But Narcius does. And now, I can see why."

She couldn't hold herself up anymore. She would have crumbled to the floor, if Isak hadn't wrapped his arms around her ribs. He held her up, her feet floating in the air.

Liana slammed her fists down on his shoulders and back. "I don't care why he did it! I was never cruel before that lie! I'm tainted now!"

"That's exactly what he wants. Cruelty makes the curse spread. Killing me wasn't what you were afraid of. You're afraid of becoming a monster like me. He reached into your darkest fears and made you believe the one thing that would push you over the edge."

Liana felt hollow. If Isak held her tight enough, she might just shatter like glass. All the people she had killed, it had been a game. Stuck in a nightmare world, in a war, where the only person she had known kindness from was the same man she despised, it had been so easy to rationalize her cruelty. She was once a Priestess of the Spring. And now...

"Well, Narcius won." Tears ran down her face now. "Before this, I killed only to protect myself and others, and never without the goddess' blessing. Look at me now."

She pulled down her shirt, revealing part of her chest. Her skin was as black as ink, as though oil ran through her veins instead of blood.

Isak cursed. He reached down with one hand and pulled her blouse over her head. From her heart, black thorns spread outward, covering part of her breasts, her ribcage.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you leave." He pressed a hand to her skin. The black patches were cold. "But you resented staying with me. So I let you go. I never would have let you free if I knew he could still reach your mind, spread the curse further."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Liana sobbed. "The corruption won't stop. Not after everything I've done. I don't deserve to go back to my family. I have nothing."

Isak wiped away a tear. "So why did you come here? What were you looking for?"

"The truth."

"Even if it causes you pain?"

"Maybe that's what I deserve."

He pressed a finger to her temple. "Do you want to forget? Should I lock away that which pains you?"

"I thought you said you couldn't do that."

He smiled. "Do you think I can't find a way to do it?"

"Even if you did, it wouldn't erase everything I've done."

"You're right. It won't."

"How do you live with yourself? How do you keep going, knowing what you've done to people?"

Isak tilted his head to the side. "You're asking the wrong person. I quite enjoy what I do." He leaned forward, his nose brushing against hers. "I can't heal a broken spirit. Or a broken heart."

"Like I expected you to bother trying." She turned her head to the side, away from his eyes.

"But I can cleanse the darkness."

Liana closed her eyes, not believing him, her body shaking in silent despair. She had already lost her family, her principles, and soon she herself would disappear, turned into a raging monster once the poison in her blood covered her completely. She had nothing left to lose, no shame in letting him hold her close now. Better than being alone, then being cold. Nothing concerned her anymore.

Until Isak's lips pressed gently into the curve of her neck. Liana wriggled, trying to pull back from him. There was no sly smile on his lips this time, no smirk remark.

"You hate me, I know. I like to tease you, pester your family, manipulate information to better suit my wishes, but there are lines even I won't cross without your permission."

Isak's palm was hot, and Liana couldn't help pressing her cheek into that warmth as he tilted her head back.

"Only one of us truly deserves to be corrupted," he said against her lips. "Let me gather up the darkness inside you. Let me fill you will pleasure instead."

Liana could see her frightened expression in his eyes. Her entire body trembled as his offer sank in. Thoughts came to a halt as her heart began hammering in her chest.

"Should I let you go?"

Liana panicked, throwing her arms around his shoulders. The only thing that was keeping her from the numbing freeze was his hot body against her own. "No."

"What do you want then?"

"I don't want to be cold anymore."

He pressed his forehead against hers. Lightning flashed for a moment, and he didn't even blink or flinch from it, eyes as intense as the first day she had met him.

"There is no going back if I cross this line," he warned. "I've spent decades longing for you. If you demand that I leave, I will, but if you give me permission to continue, I won't go back to waiting for the day that you'd be mine."

Liana closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to his. What did it matter if she resisted him anymore? She was going to fade away soon. Her body would still exist, but her mind, her spirit, her consciousness would fade away into nothing but rage and bloodlust. Now was all the time she had, now was all the time that mattered.

He crushed her to him, squeezing her between himself and the glass, waking her heart, bringing heat to her cheeks. His tongue slid over hers, kissing her deep. Electricity zipped along her skin, making her feel as though her limps were turned into putty. When he pulled away, she was breathless.

Yet some part of her mind awoke and rebelled, reminding her of all the times she had resisted his touch in the past. This was not the same boy that she had loved as a child.

"You'll burn me."

"You're right. I will." He leaned in so close, that his chest crushed hers, and his breath puffed against her ear. "I'm not gentle, I'm not soft, and once won't be enough."

His tongue traced the outer rim of her ear. Liana cried out.

"Mmm, what a beautiful sound." Isak slid his leg between hers. "So what will be?"

Liana's mind was dangerously close to shutting down, and letting nothing but touch take over. She had to press a hand to his chest, to ground herself.

"If I change my mind midway through, if I wake up from this dream you put me in-"

"I'll give you a word. Say it and I stop, no matter what I'm doing."

He moved lower, his tongue tracing from her ear to her neck, where he bit down gently, nibbling lightly on her skin. "I need an answer."

"Yes."

"Good."

Isak looped his hands under her thighs, lifting her, positioning her legs around his waist.

"W-wait. Here? Against the glass?"

"Shush." He trailed kisses down to her collarbone, stopping just above her heart. "Relax now. Let me guide you through the fire."

[formayhem]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @twig-tea! Thank you!

I've never really talked about my favorite BL/QL ever, and I'm definitely not able to write in depth analysis or think pieces. I do know what I like and appreciate, though. :)

Below the cut I'll say a lot of not profound and probably stupid stuff. Yay. 🥳

Favorite Thai QL:

I Told Sunset About You (special mention to My Only 12%, besides its last episode, and before I finally watched ITSAY)

This really is no surprise, for anyone that may have encountered my posts here and there. My journey in BL is still ongoing, but I watched this one early this year, after spending half a year during 2022 writing it off. In my defense, I wasn't on BL Tumblr back then, and I just took one look at the trailer, and said, "no".

Then ITSAY came to Viki. I distinctly recall texting my friend that I was starting it, telling them I hoped there was something in it for me because it "didn't look like what I like" (I had no idea what I liked in QL series for way too long).

ITSAY wrecked me and surprised me. My viewing was a visceral one that completely and irrevocable transplanted me back into my own youth, causing me to relive falling in love with my best friend in middle school/freshman year, our summers of a love so consequential that I'd think of it in 2023, while watching a series, crying on my couch, and resonating entirely with two boys I'll probably never forget about, either.

Funny how I almost never watched Teh and Oh-aew, because then what series would I write love letters in my head about? It's beautiful to look at, to watch unfold, to listen to, to hear, and to feel.

Favorite Pairing:

Pete & Kao. I think this pairing may always kind of be my favorite for sentimental reasons. And no one wants to read that novel.

Favorite Pairing That Never Came to Pass? Oh, you didn't ask? Well,

Kim & Way from The Shipper because I was so invested in what they had going on, and I will remain forever sad that That's It (even though I sincerely appreciate a bittersweet ending).

Most underrated actor:

Up until recently, I would have said Suar because his work in You're My Sky wounded me. Except La Pluie has happened now, and people really adored his character there.

I also would have said Gawin, but now we have Be My Favorite (which I have yet to start)...

Maybe Fluke Pusit. He's in a lot, but I'd like to see him take a lead in a QL. I just think he has the range, okay. I want to see it.

Favorite Character:

(a 2 part and this will be a trend, clearly)

Teh from ITSAY

Because I am a Teh, through and through. I love how deeply he loves, how brash and thoughtless he is while thinking so deeply almost ALL of the time that he is literally frozen in fear of his present and future. This character is for all the idiots out there with bleeding hearts and who want to make everyone happy and forget what being happy themselves feels like. Cheers.

Mork from My Ride

Mork is just so sincerely GOOD. From the first episode, I admired this character and the warmth and kindness he exhibits. He is just everything decent and sweet in the world, okay?

Favorite Side Character:

Instantly I will say MAE from 3 Will Be Free. I wanted so much more of her story and her time with Tur, and I want to see her HAPPY. I want to see her okay.

And then the 2-part (3, 4 part.. ) not asked for:

I really like all of Mark's side characters (Jedi especially). I like Chot from Step by Step so so very much. I love Cheep and Dej, the uncles from My Ride, and I want to know everything about them.

Favorite Scene in a QL:

I refuse to list an ITSAY scene again (but pretend I have listed every single scene from the series, because I have, mentally).

So, I'll say from You're My Sky, when Vee and Dome sit next to each other, and we get the moving closer, wanting to touch, knowing they shouldn't, to fingers brushing, to pinky holding, all framed from behind, without their faces and so full of ALL the feelings.

Also basically every night scene that exists in Moonlight Chicken, especially thst first drunken night:

And I lied, I will mention ITSAY: Teh and Oh on the floor, under the stairs, and floating on the water. The red bra scene.

The first two scenes have me in a chokehold for their depiction of desire and longing and confusion and shame, the wanting, the running. The floating scene has me in a chokehold because I love how much deeper their conversation in the surface is, when I became more than a casual listener and heard it. I love that it's about their feelings and how they handle them, and the first time I listened, I just really thought they liked floating and sinking, okay? And Oh-aew and the red bra is another 10 paragraphs no one asked for.

It's actually a goal/plan to go back and view my 5 & 4 star rated series because I have the memory of a goldfish and can't SOURCE MY FACTS OR FEELINGS, but it's all really real, and I know I'm overlooking everything and just listing basic memories here. Ugh.

Favorite Line in a QL:

That's sooooooooooo impossible!!!!

Pat's "it was so depressingly lonely for me" in Bad Buddy.

"Time flies, right?"/"It flies too fast for me to follow." SOTUS S

"You think you're sending out a certain frequency no one hears like that whale. But I hear you." 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

"In that moment, I realize if he's the bravery, I must be the fear." Not Me

and on and on and on, and this is Thai only, but there's also like 20 sad Korean/Tai quotes in my brain because I like SAD quotes.

oh, and shout out to Fluke as Army screaming "what the fuck" on loop in my head from The Warp Effect.

Most Anticipated QL (& why):

I think we are all very excited about Only Friends because it's going to look outstanding and be fun, and it's got an amazing cast. I'm most excited for Neo and Mark. And the wardrobes for every character.

Outside of OF, I'm excited for After Sundown, just for the supernatural/horror aspect and because it looked pretty in the trailer. I'm just mehhh on the actual pairing of the film.

annnnnnd Cherry Magic just because I have a Tay Tawan soft spot forever. 😅 I don't actually keep up with what's "coming soon" in BL/QL, so I'm sure there are amazing things in the works that I'm unaware of.

Healthiest relationship in a QL:

Wait, you guys watch healthy relationships??

Kidding... Heck, I don't know. I personally want whatever the gay uncles in My Ride have. And I am realizing the next series I need to watch is UWMA because it keeps being mentioned...

Most toxic relationship in a QL:

VegasPete and TharnType (although I guess one could argue they were both into how unhealthy it was, but not for my viewing pleasure)

Guilty pleasure series:

SOTUS. It was my first BL series back in 2018, and I feel like I've seen so much better series and films since then, but I get stupid comfort out of this show.

Also, Enchanté seems like a guilty pleasure because so many people dislike it, and I don't feel so strongly. I like to play it and make memes of every side eye and disgusted look Akk gives.

Most underrated series:

I still will say You're My Sky, even after seeing He's Coming to Me. Hell, I will say both of them, but for entirely different experiences.

They both are entirely made up of basically everything that almost all of my favs share, and they're sprinkled with helpings of what I look for in series now and going forward.

Personally, I want to say all of my Top Ten Loves are underrated, just so I can have more people to talk about them with. 😤

Thanks for reading!

[golbrockstar]

As we are now in the last month of the year, it's time to do a year roundup I think? (if you are willing) Of all their channels which is just their main one and reacts I guess.

Best Sam and Colby video of the year?

Worst Sam and Colby video of the year?

Saddest/most emotional Sam and Colby video of the year?

Happiest Sam and Colby video of the year?

Funniest Sam and Colby video of the year?

And what do we all hope for, with the upcoming year? (Like what do you want to see more or less of?)

(I sent this to a couple SnC blogs cos I'm super interested to see what peoples answers are)

I love this idea!

I actually had to go back and look at what they posted this year cause I forgot nearly everything besides the conjuring lmao. Anyway, I don't really watch the React channel (not my kind of content), so we're sticking to the good old Sam and Colby channel.

These are all my opinions and not really based on the stats of any video.

Best Sam and Colby video of the year: You know, a lot of my favorite SnC videos are actually from last year, not a lot of heavy hitters this year for me, but I mean Colby was battling cancer for much of this year so its completely understandable.

That being said, Hellfire Club was really fun for me and is probably the one I enjoyed the most. I also really liked the last video of the conjuring series. It was just really intense and it was the first time I was actively shouting at my screen in a while.

Worst Sam and Colby video of the year: I'd say the 3 Hotels in 50 Hours was my least favorite. I didn't rewatch it for this, but I remember just being very underwhelmed with it. Not much happened, and it felt like they were trying to squeeze in too much too fast.

The saddest/most emotional Sam and Colby video of the year: It's definitely the cancer video, for sure. You can't watch that and not get at least a little bit emotional.

As far as regular content, that conjuring video where Sam cries is really emotional. Like you hardly see the guys get that effected by something and seeing Sam really break down and cry was just gut wrenching.

Happiest Sam and Colby video of the year: I'm gonna throw the cancer video here to because it ends on a really high note and made me smile a lot seeing how much support Colby got from his friends and how happy they were at the end of it.

Funniest Sam and Colby video of the year: Gonna give this one to the video with tommyinnit and Jack Manifold just because that dynamic was hilarious. Like those streamers have a level of chaotic energy that is so different from SnC's that it's just funny to see how they react.

I'm a bit of a fan of Tommy outside of this video so I didn't find him as annoying as I know he came across for some of the other SnC fans, but I can't say I'd want them to collab again lmao.

What am I hoping for?: Honestly? For both of the boys to be happy, healthy, and at peace with themselves. This year has been a struggle for them both and I hope 2024 brings them that sense of normalcy this year has lacked for them.

Content-wise, though, I'd like less collabs and more solo SnC because they never do that anymore. Now that they're officially done with the conjuring house, I'd like for them to stay away from the "demon-infested" places for a while and just stick to the average ghost stories. I like when they go to lesser-known places as well and tell their stories.

I'd also like them to do more post-research as well. Like if they get a name from a piece of equipment that doesn't line up with someone they'd heard about, research that name in connection with the place they're at. It may turn up nothing, but you never know.

It's nice that they try to connect the dots in the moment, but I think them going back and connecting dots after the fact would be a better way to make connections.

[goldeneyedgirl]

Your babyverse lives rent free in my head. Since your last snippet I only think about Alice and Jasper living in a cozy house with baby Ollie. Alice picking him up at school and Jasper helping him to write his name and his parents names in that cute childish handwriting. All healthy and happy and loving each other forever and a day. And the way Jasper thinks about Ollie as "his boy" 😭😭😭 Sorry about it, you created a monster when you gave me that fic

I still think it's funny you guys love this fic so much. Especially the version I posted when there are six existing variations of how all this went down.

I think my favourite aspect is writing how fatherhood has shaped everyone - as a fandom, there's a lot of discourse on womanhood, feminism, and motherhood because of how emphasized it is in the books, but I haven't seen a lot on fatherhood outside of Carlisle, and Carlisle and Edward's relationship (doesn't mean it isn't out there, it just hasn't come across my dash). But I could waffle on about that for ages; I won't.

I live for the little moments like Jasper getting to introduce Ollie to Peter and Charlotte, and Peter kind of gets this moment of ... closure, almost? That after every single thing that Jasper has gone through and deals with, he's here with a girl who loves him, and their son. And Jasper might be terrified of fucking parenthood up or that Ollie might get sick or hurt, but he's also so, so happy.

Or Alice mathematically working out where Jasper can stand at the local fair so that he can watch Ollie ride a pony for the first time without scaring the poor animal to death because that's one of the memories that Jasper's managed to hold onto all this time - the joy he had around horses when he was a child, and learning to ride.

And then there's all the drama and bullshit - the Volturi, Maria just being extra, Whatever The Fuck Alice and Cynthia's Mother is up to, Ollie having to pretend Alice and Jasper are his cousins when he's too old to look like their son. But that's what makes the happy moments more special.

Have a snippet from an Ollie piece I started before I wrote the 'Daddy' piece. Jasper's a good dad.

In a million years, Jasper never would have guessed he’d end up in this position. 

It’s just before six am and the house is quiet, finally. Ollie’s head was against his shoulder, still sniffling around his pacifier as Jasper began the process to make his bottle. Alice and Esme had made up a guide for making Ollie’s bottles to make sure he could feed his son without the risk of burning him, involving three different thermometers and a chart of acceptable temperatures. 

He really did prefer when Alice pumped; mixing formula still made him nervous. 

Ollie let out a huff of annoyance, but didn’t cry. And he’d been crying since midnight, when he’d woken up and hadn’t been at home. 

Alice had dropped him off late the night before, masked up and looking exhausted. 

“Cynthia and I both tested positive for strep,” she had explained hoarsely. “I really don’t want Ollie to catch it - can you…?”

He’d taken his sleepy son immediately, and reassured Alice Ollie would be fine; Esme kept the house well stocked for when Alice brought Ollie over. 

[theauburnfox]

So, I finally saw eeaao and this film litteraly changed me. like, I can't believe I cried like I did to a movie where there are so many funny and ironic moments but isn't that what life is about. You live your live, and sometimes you laugh, others you cry, sometimes you do both, sometimes you don't feel nothing, other times you feel too much and life goes on.

It really is incredible the way that we understand that even it is ridiculous that truly nothing matters, we also must understand with kindness that everything matters. In a way, we must understand that we don't fail at anything and there's is always some sort of potencial we can achieve, but also the thing we really need to achieve is to care about people and let others care about you. We don't need to see one or the other side, we need to see both and much more.

I am truly a mess after watching this, feeling like I lost of piece of myself that needed to be traded for something more and I haven't felt that way about a movie in so long. Yes some other recent movies created emotions in me, made me think about life, but this one really gave me all and much more.

Also, the acting and perfomances were superb!! The action scenes incredible that complemented the amazing storytelling. Great cinematography and something curious... Our generation these days needs more and more stimulus to sometimes pay attention and this film pays attention to it flawlessly in a way that makes sense to the story (special mention to every outfit Joy had and congrats to the team behind it).

So yeah. This was a lot. But I needed to vent. Probably will come back to post here, since I feel inspired. Hope it lasts!!

If someone read this long text I leave you with a gif that is my favourite shot of the movie. It is the calm before the chaos, but at the same time you can feel the the chaos will lead to calm again. I completly adore it.

Sending everyone love 🦊💖

[highwaydiamonds]

@mountainmaven tagged me for this lil question set- Thanks Kim!💖

1. Are you named after anyone? Ehhhh technically my mother chose my first name from Meggie in The Thorn Birds (though with a different spelling of Meghann. I'm Megan, and I generally dislike being called Meggie... It's p rare that I respond to being called that.)

2. When was the last time you cried? ... Yesterday? I almost cried today from reading a post someone made, but not full crying. That happened yesterday. I am a very easy crier.

3. Do you use sarcasm? Who? Me?!... Please. Of course I do. Far more than I ought to at that. It's the flip side to my insecurity probably -an abundance of snark.

4. What's the first thing you notice about people? That really depends on how I meet or come across those people. In person - probably eyes and the way people watch/listen- I'm likely looking to see how people might be judging me ( or more specifically my body.) Online - if people are funny or engaging. Are you thoughtful - it's a place where you CAN lead with your thoughts first - so does someone? or do they take the LCD and run with it ( AKA be a total troll or send a dick pic - that sort of thing. UGH to both)

5. What's your eye color? Something somewhat indeterminate? Meh I usually say gray-green. It's a mix of my dad's gray-blue and my mom's green gold hazel. the gray and green got mish-mashed together and there's a tiny tiny gold rim right around the pupil. idk man. my eyes are very color. (like the creature is very shape.)

6. Scary movie or happy ending? Considering that i am very easy to scare - i have made myself jump by forgetting a stationary object was on a table and then when i saw it there i was so surprised i jumped- i rarely go for scary movies. Happy ending please... (i am working SO much not to make jokes with that. I deserve a treat now.)

7. Any special talents? Clearly. I am talented at not allowing myself to make dirty jokes (see above question's response.) Other than that, I don't think so? I don't want to make self deprecating remarks (wow I am just avoiding all the jokes tonight, right?!) - I think there are things I do well, but I wouldn't necessarily call them special talents. I cannot belly dance, strike an apple sitting on your head with an arrow, or put a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. Your girl has no party pieces. (and if I *were* making bad jokes - here is where I woul say, " I AM the party piece." But that would be a lie. I don't like parties very much XD )

8. Where were you born? In a hospital. That's what this question was looking for, right? (confused? see the answer above re sarcasm.)

9. What are your hobbies? art journaling, knitting, reading, occasionally baking, watching tv and movies more than i ought to, playing with makeup (not good at it but i like it) - and when the finances are they darling - shopping for cute things (which might pertain to the above or might just generally be sparkly and/or adorable.

10. Do you have any pets? Not that are mine personally right now B UT the house I am living in her several. There are two dogs that are permanent residents ( Peat and Lily - border terrier siblings that are like 15 years old I think. Two dogs that live here part time - Nova and bailey - who are probably 4 and 11 respectively. Then three parrots (two greater mccaws of differing kinds - Mello and Maddie, and one lesser Mccaw - uh i think anyway- and that's Emma Peel - yes named for the avengers tv character). And two bearded dragons ( differing kinds) - Fred and Apollo. There will also be a puppy joining the household in probably a month or less - one of the people in the house is getting a Lakenois puppy out of a litter so there will be that. I'll enjoy there being a puppy around but gotta say i have learned things about myself living with this many animals. (namely that I do not want to be responsible for this many animals. especially squawky birds. good for you if you do.)

11. What sports do you play/have played? i don't play any now .. but seriously i was never sporty really. I played volleyball and softball when in middle school but does that even count? i like swimming but i was never going to be competitive at it when i was young. i was short and round not lean and long - so that was not gonna happen for me

12. How tall are you? 5'4" (slightly under it but close enough)

13. What was your favorite subject in school? I liked school pretty well generally - most of it was good - I didn't always like what we had to read but I liked English (aka Lit classes), History ( or government) , and some science courses (bio, advanced bio, physics) <-- in high school. Beyond that - ART HISTORY ( i should have found a way to major in it - or at least minor in it. I liked it better than either of my actual majors - and more than some of grad school classes too. seriously art history is way more fun than talking about budgeting in public administration. )

14. Dream job? The best answer to this is one I am stealing from a post here on tumblr or on twitter (idk) and that is, " I simply do not dream of labor." Seriously,I'm not sure any more. I think being a museum curator could be amazing, or like a special collections librarian ( if you dig the collection)... But I also think something where I could make a difference and change health policy in this country would be great - I'm not sure just what that would be or mean. I can't sew at all but i think being a fashion designer and making floofy dresses for myself would be cool. Fairy Princess- there we go - that's the job for me.

As to tagging... I never know who likes to be tagged and who doesn't. So @seashells-and-bookshelves , @librarianlirael , @ndb-123 , @i-blame-this-on-sherlock , @freckles-and-books , and seriously anybody that wants to. I like reading your answers- so take these and run with em- and tag me (so's i can read em) if you do.

[althaiareads]

Aaaahhhh. New chapter!!

Mamá, ven rápido que @yelena-bellova ya actualizó!!!!

Joel managed to turn his head, letting his eyes wash over the woman he loved, had never stopped loving. Kneeling over him and covered in his blood, he thought back to how she’d looked the night they’d first met. (...) Now he was going to break her heart. Again.

THIS IS NOT OKAY. I AM NOT OKAY!

Once he’d said it, he couldn’t stop. He was making up for twenty years in twenty seconds. “I love you. I love you…” Joel drew a shallow breath, “You go. You take her,” his stare gripped her, nearly choking the will out of her, “Go.”

She didn’t think even if they’d had twenty years ahead of them that she’d have ever found to words to describe the depth of her love for Joel Miller. It stretched two decades of euphorias and tragedies. It was stronger than her hate or his violence. It was forgiveness and redemption and all-encompassing in its triumph over the worst of their persons.

This might be my favourite thing you've ever written.

I love the way you describe their love, the depth, the conflict within. WOW!

As Joel watched Lauren head up the stairs, he let a single tear fall down his face. He’d had one last night, one last kiss, and one last ‘I love you.’ It wasn’t a lifetime, but it would have to be enough.

GOD! I-

I am so sorry because this has got to be the shittiest commentary ever, but this is just so good. You leave me speechless each and every time. God. My poor man.

“I know, I know, I know, I know,” she muttered as Joel threw his head to the side, trying to hide his grimaces from Ellie, “I know, honey. Just hang on.”

Not the same words they said to Sarah as she died.

“So…he’s always been like that,” Ellie commented. (...)“No,” she whispered over the lump in her throat, “He wasn’t.”

It must hurt so badly to see the person you love change that much all due to suffering. I am sobbing so hard right now.

“No,” Lauren replied, looking over her arm to Ellie’s expectant stare, “I think she wanted to keep you safe,” she cracked a smile, “Bloodthirsty demons that we are.”

I was already crying with Rosebud and Joel's story, so this is just salt to the wound. Riley loved Ellie so much, protecting her even in her last minutes, god.

She pressed a kiss to the top of the young girl’s head, reminding herself that the journey had started out the two of them, and if even if tragedy intervened, it would end with the two of them.

Good, Ellie needs a rock in her life.

“I got you back. And I can’t lose you before I get to love you again.”

“We’re fine,” Y/N finished the conversation. The world was dead, yet somehow misogyny was still alive and well…

This.

Then again, if he was a preacher, he could have subscribed to the believe that God might exact some sort of revenge on them rather than dirty his own hands.

I'm so sorry, this was funny, jhadsfjdsgh. Kind of wish he would have done that.

Y/N marched forwards, shoving David’s hands off of Ellie’s body, “She’s my fuckin’ kid.”

Damn right she is. Mama Rosebud to the rescue.

She’d burn down the whole fucking town before she let anything happen to Ellie.

Okay, I loved this so much. Ellie and Rosebud have the most beautiful relationship. I love that Ellie opened up to her about Riley after she told her about how she met Joel.

They are a fucking family.

Since I know I love your writing so much, I'm going to just get a tiny piece of space in this post to add my favourite parts writing-wise. Because I just keep saying that this is extremely well-written and you'll get sick of me, lmao.

He thought of their last night together, spent cradling each other’s bodies underneath the sheets in Jackson. How his skin had remembered the feel of hers the moment they touched, how his lips had recalled the roads they used to travel across her like he would an old hometown street. Though bathed in the tears of their sins and all they had lost, he had been reborn at the first kiss. He had a standing reservation in hell, but he could go knowing he’d felt the touch of an angel.

There are certain moments in life that, with hindsight, stick out as forks in the road. If Person A hadn’t have made it to Point A, then Person B wouldn’t have found them and both their lives, good or bad, would be forever altered because they didn’t meet.

Joel, slipping in and out of consciousness, wasn’t aware of much going on around him. But somewhere in his slumber, he could sense the warmth that was wrapped around him. He wasn’t chasing any white light, calling him home, but he chased the heat, leaning his head into it. He knew he was safe, so long as he could feel the warmth.

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: Carry You Home

Plot: Ellie and Y/n do their best to save a wounded Joel and survive on their own.

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: canon-typical violence, language, blood, injuries, hunting, reference to smut

A/N: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…these chapters suck to write for 2 reasons…1: D*vid. 2: We’re getting so close to the end that I want to cry 😫 I’m going to miss this show so much!!

As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be adding anyone to the taglist if your age/range isn’t in your bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀

I hope y’all enjoy this blend of fluff and angst and laughter. I’m going to try to get 14 out on Sunday, but no promises. Read on!

——————

“Protect him.”

Tess’ dying words had echoed through Y/n’s mind more times than she could count. The sentiment had travelled with her across the county, an ever-present passenger on their journey.

And now they were haunting her.

Ellie and Y/n had managed to get Joel into the basement of an abandoned house, laying him down on an old, dank mattress. Unfortunately, he had woken up by then and was feeling the full force of his wound.

“I know, I know,” Y/n tried to soothe him as he screamed, bent over his abdomen. The tourniquet had done a subpar job at stopping the bleeding. If it had been a river, now it was a stream. “Hold still,” she looked to Ellie, “Press down on the wound. Hard.”

Ellie had found an old towel in the kitchen upstairs and tore off a strand.

“Squeeze,” Y/n instructed Joel, who was already squirming in pain, “Hard as you need.”

Joel had lost enough blood for the world around him to spin, the only things in focus were Ellie and Y/n’s faces.

Y/n nodded to Ellie, who pressed down on Joel’s wound, causing him to choke on his own breath. His hand shot out, reaching for Y/n’s arm and crushing it in his grip. She turned her face downwards to hide the grimace of pain.

“Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Ellie cursed as Joel writhed beneath her hands.

“Keep going,” Y/n ordered, blindly reaching a hand out to push Joel’s shoulder into the mattress, “Honey, c’mon, I need you to work with us.”

Joel winced, digging his head back into the bed. Out of all the injuries he’d sustained over the years, this was the worst. Not just because of the searing pain stabbing through him, but because it was the one that was going to take him out.

He was dying, and neither Y/n nor Ellie could stop it.

“Leave.”

They both ignored the word.

“Leave,” Joel strained through it again.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Y/n stated, watching Ellie’s hands, “He’s gonna say some weird shit.”

“Go,” he continued.

“Shut up, Joel,” Ellie’s breaths quickened in quiet panic.

“Take the gun-“

“Joel, shut the fuck up,” she yelled.

“Ellie,” Y/n said forcefully, the girl’s hands were slipping. She pushed them off and held the rag down on Joel’s wound.

With a last surge of strength, Joel reached out and grabbed Ellie by the collar, yanking her to face him.

“You go,” Joel whispered, “You go. You go north. Y/n-“

Y/n shook her head, shutting out the reality of their dire situation. “Stop,” she said without looking up.

Joel was undeterred, “You go to Tommy.”

“Stop,” Y/n gritted out, her hands hanging over his stomach with no plan of action. She wasn’t even sure what there was to be done. At best, she was only stalling Joel’s death by a few precious minutes.

When she finally dared to look up, her gaze fell on Ellie, whose eyes were misting as she stared down at Joel. He shoved Ellie back, releasing her from the burden of caring, and let his arm fall at his side.

Joel managed to turn his head, letting his eyes wash over the woman he loved, had never stopped loving. Kneeling over him and covered in his blood, he thought back to how she’d looked the night they’d first met. Her eyes untouched by cynicism, her laugh deflecting no hidden pain, her smile striking him like lightning and giving him a new pursuit in life; to bring enough joy to her life that her lips were forever turned up.

Now he was going to break her heart. Again.

He thought of their last night together, spent cradling each other’s bodies underneath the sheets in Jackson. How his skin had remembered the feel of hers the moment they touched, how his lips had recalled the roads they used to travel across her like he would an old hometown street. Though bathed in the tears of their sins and all they had lost, he had been reborn at the first kiss. He had a standing reservation in hell, but he could go knowing he’d felt the touch of an angel.

“Rose…” Joel strained out, the word tasted like sweetness.

The four letters burned in Y/n’s ears, sending a new wave of fear through her. “No,” she finally looked to Joel, “This isn’t how it happens.”

“Rosebud,” he pushed with a surprising calm to his tone.

“Joel, no,” Y/n fought to keep her sobs down, “This is not how it happens. It’s not.”

Joel’s hand shakily slid up her arm, needing to feel her as he told her, “I love you.”

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut, the strength of her grip on the towel faltering as she forced them open to look at Joel. Despite his impending death, there was a peace that filled in the lines of his face, one that only graced those who were on their way out.

“No,” Y/n whined, her voice unable to carry further than the distance between them. She reached up to stroke his hair, taking his cheek in her other hand, “This isn’t how I want to hear it, Joel. Please.”

Once he’d said it, he couldn’t stop. He was making up for twenty years in twenty seconds. “I love you. I love you…” Joel drew a shallow breath, “You go. You take her,” his stare gripped her, nearly choking the will out of her, “Go.”

For as prominent as Joel’s abandonment had been in her life, Y/n had done her fair share of leaving. She had left Sarah’s body, at least it had felt like leaving, when they’d sought shelter in the triage clinic. She had left her parents, panicked at what she had done, in the spots where she’d taken their lives. She had left Tess to die the worst way a person could, even if she was only following orders. Her life had been one abandoning after the other, and now she was being asked to abandon the love of her life.

In her haze, Y/n hadn’t even remembered Ellie was there. It wasn’t until she felt Joel’s thick coat being slipped over his body that she realized the girl was making her choice. She would decide, for once in their time together, to heed Joel’s words. And as her boots slapped against the stairs, she was also making Y/n’s choice.

Unable to force the words she felt like a sweet sickness inside her soul, she dissolved into tears, pressing her forehead to Joel’s. She didn’t think even if they’d had twenty years ahead of them that she’d have ever found to words to describe the depth of her love for Joel Miller. It stretched two decades of euphorias and tragedies. It was stronger than her hate or his violence. It was forgiveness and redemption and all-encompassing in its triumph over the worst of their persons.

Y/n sniffled, nudging Joel’s nose with her wet one and letting her mouth hover over his as if she could breathe life back into him. Joel took it, letting his eyes fall shut and savoring the the last of her lips he’d ever feel.

Joel had spent twenty years trying to detach from who he’d been, his old skin a constant reminder of all that he’d almost had. Y/n had spent twenty years trying to find her way back to her humanity, desperate to redeem herself. Without ever knowing it, they had been running back to each another, one step at a time.

Protect him.

Perhaps Y/n had only kept her promise to Tess in the beginning out of obligation. But now, now the words were as true as if they’d come out of her own mouth.

Joel had left her once.

She’d be damned if it happened again.

Y/n broke from Joel’s lips, rushing to her feet and bolting for the stairs.

From Joel’s point of view, it was the last he’d ever see of her. There was a duality that Cordyceps had forced on anyone who prioritized survival over anything else. Joel had meant every word with the force he’d said it, he wanted Y/n and Ellie safe. But he also knew he was dying, something that, despite all he’d wished over the years, he wasn’t ready to do yet. He had Ellie, this beautiful, unexpected gift of a child, who depended on him as if she was his own. And now he had Y/n, the miracle that he’d let slip through his fingers, returning to him with the same perfect timing she’d first appeared to him. He wanted to stay, to cherish and protect them like the man they made him feel he could be again. And if that wasn’t in the cards for him, he at least wanted to hold their hands as he faded out.

As Joel watched Y/n head up the stairs, he let a single tear fall down his face. He’d had one last night, one last kiss, and one last ‘I love you.’ It wasn’t a lifetime, but it would have to be enough.

When Y/n got to the stairs, Ellie was nowhere to be found. Was she already saddling the horses? Was it that easy for her to let Joel die?

“Ellie,” she called through her tears, bursting through the door, “Ell-“

The girl rushed past her, one step ahead, raiding cabinets and drawers.

Y/n felt herself breathing for the first time in an hour.

“What do we look for?” Ellie hurriedly asked.

“Something,” Y/n flung a empty cabinet door open, “Anything. We need to get the wound closed up.”

They searched high and low, in every room, until they met in the kitchen. Ellie dove for a set of drawers while Y/n scoured more cabinets.

“It won’t open,” Ellie groaned, pulling against the handle.

Y/n ran over, squeezing her hands next to Ellie’s and tugging with her. “Pull,” she breathed, the two of them shifted all their weight backwards.

The drawer’s internal mechanism released, the momentum they’d built throwing Ellie and Y/n to the ground. The contents were scattered from the drop.

“There’s nothing here,” Y/n panted, on the verge of frustrated tears.

“W-wait,” Ellie breathed, her hand sliding across the linoleum floor to grab something. She held up a rusted needle and thread to Y/n.

“Yes,” Y/n gasped, she took the supplies into her shaking palms. She wished she hadn’t used the last of her own days before, but they could make do with what they had, “Yes, this’ll work.”

Stumbling to their feet, they ran back through the door and down the steps, bringing salvation with them.

Joel was trying, trying to hold the rag to his wound, hoping it made his death a little less painful, but his strength was fading. His whole body shook with shivers, even his lips trembled from the cruel mixture of shock and the cold. He could feel himself slipping away, so much so that he was convinced the thudding footsteps he heard were hallucinations.

Y/n and Ellie kneeled down on either side of him, their faces illuminated by the last bit of light peeking through the clouded basement window. His saviors.

Ellie threw Joel’s coat off of him, catching her breath as she reached for his hand.

Y/n leaned down, interlocking her fingers with his other hand and brushing the hair from his face. She pressed a determined kiss to his clammy forehead, willing him to stay alive a little bit longer.

Joel would never admit to them just how much he’d wanted them to stay. He summoned what was left of his strength and tried to squeeze both of their hands, letting them squeeze back. They were going to fight this, and they were going to do it together.

Ellie reached for the towel and peeled the cloth off Joel’s wound. The bleeding had slowed, but was far from stopping. They had to move fast.

In the midst of their panic, Joel softly reached for Ellie’s cheek, pulling back halfway when he lost his strength. It was a moment none of them noticed in their mad rush.

“Honey,” Y/n began, pressing one more kiss to Joel’s skin, “We gotta get it closed up. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker,” she moved Joel’s hands to grab her forearms, “So you fuckin’ squeeze, and try to stay still for us. Okay?”

Ellie quickly thread the needle and tied a knot. Y/n wished she could spare her the pain of having to stitch Joel up, but Y/n was the only one who’d be able to hold him down and keep him relatively calm.

“Keep going,” Y/n directed Ellie, “I’m gonna try to keep him still, but you don’t stop, even if he moves.”

Ellie nodded, apologetically seeking Joel’s eyes one last time before turning to his abdomen.

Y/n put both her hands to Joel’s shoulders, bracing herself for what was to come.

“Go,” she said,

Joel let out a sickening groan as Ellie thread the needle, the pain giving him strength enough to squeeze Y/n’s arms so tight, she couldn’t help but wince. In his daze, he could sense he was hurting her, but couldn’t fight past that which his own body was bringing him.

Tears sprung to Y/n’s eyes as she forced Joel down into the mattress, taking the searing heat in her shoulder as a good thing. It meant Joel still had enough fight inside him to push through.

“I know, I know, I know, I know,” she muttered as Joel threw his head to the side, trying to hide his grimaces from Ellie, “I know, honey. Just hang on.”

Joel’s vision was going dark around the edges, the pain dulling all his senses. The only thing strong enough to cut through was Y/n’s voice.

“I’m here,” Y/n assured Joel, his eyes fluttering but fighting to look at her, “I’m here. I got you.”

“It’s stopping,” Ellie announced, still hard at work.

Y/n wasn’t able to sigh in relief yet, Joel had finally lost the battle and had slipped into unconsciousness. She’d expected it, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t still filled with dread.

It only took Ellie a few more minutes to finish sewing Joel’s wound, Y/n helping her to tie a clumsy knot at the end. They dabbed and tried to clean the blood off him as best they could before laying his shirts back down. When they were done, they slid off their ankles and onto the concrete, watching the rise and fall of Joel’s chest.

“Is he…” Ellie began before realizing it was a stupid question.

Y/n was fighting off the same thought, wondering if their efforts would be enough, or if it was a losing battle.

“I hope so,” she whispered, it didn’t matter to her if fate was calling Joel Miller home. She would rage against it regardless.

The next hour was spent waiting and watching. Ellie, eventually, went upstairs and collected their backpacks.

Y/n kneeled above Joel’s head, her hands resting over each of his ears. She combed her fingers through the ends of his hair, not trying to wake him or soothe him further into sleep, but simply providing what little comfort she could to both of them.

Ellie clunked down the stairs with their packs and sleeping bags, depositing them on the floor. She had spent the last three months watching Joel and Y/n fight, and the last week watching them drift back together. This was new. She hadn’t seem them vulnerable, on the verge of losing one another when they’d finally found some sort of peace. She didn’t have twenty years of experience, but she understood why Y/n was hunched over, cradling the man, who didn’t even know she was there.

Ellie settled against the wall, working up the courage to speak. “How’d you guys meet?”

It was perhaps the only thing said in the moment to make Y/n smile. “At a bar,” she answered, remembering the night like it had just passed, “A guy hit on me, couldn’t take the hint that I wasn’t interested…Joel threw a punch, Tommy threw the next…” she nearly laughed, “Then they threw him out.”

“So…he’s always been like that,” Ellie commented.

Y/n soothed a thumb over Joel’s cheek, the skin was so pale it almost brought on a fresh batch of tears. Or maybe it was the reminder that they’d once lived in a world where violence wasn’t a necessary evil. Where Joel’s laugh was an every day occurrence. When he kissed her as if it was the last time he ever would, with the end nowhere in sight.

“No,” she whispered over the lump in her throat, “He wasn’t.”

Ellie sensed she was getting to close to shattering what was left of Y/n, and she couldn’t do that. She needed one person left to look to, to hold her hand through these impossible problems. She rubbed her hands together anxiously, nearly choking on the words she wanted to say.

“Riley.”

Y/n dragged her eyes away from Joel to look up at Ellie, “What?”

Ellie drew a shaky breath, “Riley. She was my…she was my friend,” she rubbed her knuckles together, “She got infected and…”

All of Y/n’s longing told her to stay with Joel, not to move from her spot, no matter what. But her duty was to both him and Ellie, and she knew where she was needed at the moment. She inched her hands off of Joel’s head and crawled over to Ellie, coming to sit next to her against the wall.

“I knew Riley,” Y/n admitted, hugging a knee to her chest.

Ellie’s eyes widened, “You did?”

Y/n nodded, “She only joined a few weeks before…” she trailed off. Marlene had been the one to find them, Y/n had been back at base. But she’d met Riley, had even tried to take her under her wing before the fatal night at the mall. “She was fucking fearless,” Y/n shifted gears, “And fun.”

“Did she ever mention me?” Ellie asked after a beat of silence.

“No,” Y/n replied, looking over her arm to Ellie’s expectant stare, “I think she wanted to keep you safe,” she cracked a smile, “Bloodthirsty demons that we are.”

Ellie’s lips turned up the slightest bit, but they fell just as quick. It was one of the first times she had allowed herself to grieve her best friend, and there was something about the setting that made it all hurt worse. Across from her, Joel lay on the brink of death. To her side, Y/n was sitting with her in worry and in comfort. The last two people on the planet that she loved.

Y/n’s maternal instincts caught the change in Ellie’s demeanor just before she broke. She slipped an arm around her shoulders as the first tears fell, Ellie willingly sliding into Y/n’s side and curling her face into her body. It was the first time Ellie had allowed anyone, apart from Riley on that dreadful night, see her fall apart, and Y/n didn’t take it lightly. She pressed a kiss to the top of the young girl’s head, reminding herself that the journey had started out the two of them, and if even if tragedy intervened, it would end with the two of them.

—————————

Deep into the night, Y/n stayed awake, telling Ellie she’d press on until morning. The girl needed a break from the world.

Joel stirred a few times, letting out a moan or blindly reaching to clutch his wound. Y/n was there each time, holding his hand and soothing him back to sleep. Around what Y/n guessed was 3AM, he stopped slipping in and out and just stayed out. His ragged breaths, creating a steady rhythm in his stomach, were the only thing reassuring Y/n that he was still alive.

While Ellie was awake, Y/n held it together as best she could. But under the cover of dark, she allowed herself to fall apart, her fear for Joel’s life swallowing her whole.

“Do you remember that trip we took to the beach?” Y/n whispered, hanging over Joel’s head, stroking a hand over his hair as her other one cupped his cheek, “For our anniversary? Sarah’s graduation?”

In her weaker moments over the years, Y/n had drifted back to the memory. It was the last time she could remember feeling truly free and yet it was also the first time she remembered feeling tied down. Stuck in the space between Sarah’s dad’s girlfriend and a parent, between Joel’s love of one year and his potential wife. She wanted them both back; the liberation and the duty.

“Remember that night?” Y/n asked Joel’s unconscious form, she’d always wondered how she could recall the exact feel of the hotel sheets. The exact trail of her skin Joel’s lips had traveled. Which of his t-shirts she’d been wearing. “I made you promise that…” Y/n trailed off, bristling, “It sounds so fucking stupid now.”

“No matter how much I hated you,” Y/n slid her thumb against Joel’s cheek, “I couldn’t hate you enough to stop loving you. I tried, my g-“ Y/n chuckled softly, “I tried so fucking hard. Couldn’t do it.”

Her tears were building now, the more she exposed, the more the threat of loss became real.

“I waited twenty years, Joel,” she whispered, her throat tightening up on her, “Twenty fucking years, not knowing if you were dead or still hanging on. And then I got you back,” she sobbed once with nostalgic joy, “I got you back. And I can’t lose you before I get to love you again.”

Y/n lowered her head, dropping her lips to Joel’s ear, her voice barely audible, “Because I do. I love you. I love you so much it…” she bit back a cry, not wanting to wake Ellie, “It fucking hurts. You can’t just…you can’t just come back to me and then leave. You can’t do that to me. To Ellie.”

“I need you to fight,” Y/n begged, tears freely flowing down her cheeks, “I need you to fight so fucking hard, you need me to carry you the whole way to Utah, and I will. I’ll do it. I just need you there.”

Y/n choked on her sobs, digging her forehead into the mattress and letting them shake her. All her losses in life had been so sudden, she’d never had to watch a life hang, the pendulum swinging between a second chance and death. It was tearing her apart.

She wiped the snot and tears away on her jacket sleeve, the same sleeve that was painted with Joel’s dried blood. She leaned back over Joel, pressing the gentlest of kisses to his forehead. Y/n had heard stories of miracles, of voices at hospital bedsides being the thing to bring people back from death’s edge. She’d lost faith in that sort of thing after the loss of her family, but in the throes of worry, nothing was off the table. She’d stay up all night, telling Joel how much she loved him, if there was even a chance it would reach him.

—————————

For two days, Ellie and Y/n kept watch as best they could. With no medicine, there was little they could do to help Joel’s, now infected, wound.

Y/n finished up feeding snow to the horses, moving robotically from the garage to the basement. She hadn’t gotten more than maybe two hours each day. It didn’t feel right to rest when Joel was clinging to life.

She came downstairs to see Ellie kneeled next to Joel, placing one of their last pieces of rations on his chest.

“He wouldn’t want you doing that,” Y/n said softly.

Ellie sniffed away the cold air, “Yeah, well…”

If the terrible series of events was doing anything, it was showing how deeply they cared about each other.

“I’m going to go out real quick,” Y/n announced, heading to pick up her rifle, “Try and find us something to eat.”

“I’m coming with you,” Ellie jumped to her feet.

“No, you’re not,” Y/n replied, “You’re gonna stay here and watch him.”

“I can’t fucking do anything for him here,” the girl gestured down to Joel’s body, “If I can hunt something then…”

Y/n already knew what she was trying to say, she was desperate to feel in control of something. Hunting was a great way to make you feel like you had some power over the world.

“Okay,” Y/n sighed, “Twenty minutes.”

Ellie moved across the room to grab Joel’s rifle while Y/n crouched down and kissed his forehead.

“We’ll be back soon.”

The two of them filed up the stairs, both of their hearts unsettled at leaving without Joel. It was one thing to see someone with no fighting skills or survival techniques be taken down, but to see someone like Joel battling for their life was a quick way to make someone feel entirely exposed. And Y/n could feel the full weight of the responsibility they’d shouldered together the last three months.

Y/n drew her rifle into postition as her and Ellie exited through the front door, Ellie struck a similar stance. They moved down the driveway into the street, scanning for footprints in the snow that didn’t exist. They’d made the right decision to hide in the abandoned neighborhood.

Ellie and Y/n made their way to the forest, trudging through the snow and huffing patterns into the cold air.

“Remember what Joel taught you,” Y/n instructed, keeping her voice low to not spook any animals, “Regardless of what your instincts tell you, pull slow.”

Ellie’s eyes were already drifting ahead, having spotted a white rabbit thirty feet away from them. She glanced over to Y/n, who nodded for her to go ahead. Y/n felt better keeping her gun aimed at the space around them anyway.

Just as Ellie was setting herself up, the rabbit ran off. Ellie took off charging the way it had run.

“Ellie,” Y/n gritted, the worst thing to do when tracking an animal was to chase it.

Ellie tripped on a branch, falling face first into the snow.

Y/n came over and extended a hand to the girl, pulling her up to her feet. “Word of advice…if an animal’s running, you don’t go after it and make more noise.”

“Yeah,” Ellie exhaled, wiping the snow from her face, “I got that.”

“Come on,” Y/n hitched her rifle back over her shoulder, “Ten more minutes.”

The two of them walked a little further, eventually hearing a clicking noise that sent them both reaching for their guns.

Ellie hit Y/n’s arm, guiding her attention to a patch of trees providing shelter to a full-grown deer. Y/n gestured for her to take the nearest log and the shot. It felt like a good idea to keep Ellie as distracted as she could and maybe give her a much needed victory.

Heeding all of Joel and Y/n’s advice, Ellie lined up the shot perfectly and-

BANG!

The deer wailed, limping away into the depth of the forest.

“No fucking way,” Ellie muttered.

“Come on,” Y/n pulled her free hand and the two of them sprinted off after it.

There are certain moments in life that, with hindsight, stick out as forks in the road. If Person A hadn’t have made it to Point A, then Person B wouldn’t have found them and both their lives, good or bad, would be forever altered because they didn’t meet.

Y/n and Ellie couldn’t have known what they were running straight towards.

They tracked the blood trail of the deer 1/4 of a mile before hearing two male voices. Y/n threw her arm out, catching Ellie and holding a finger up to her lips. The two of them drew their rifles and very carefully stepped around the snowbank. Sure enough, there were two men standing over their now dead deer.

Y/n inhaled to speak.

“Don’t! Drop your rifles! Now!” Ellie yelled.

The two men carefully removed their guns from their backs, the taller of them keeping one eye on Ellie and Y/n.

“Turn around,” Y/n ordered, her gun locked on the tall man, while Ellie took the shorter one.

“Any sudden moves,” Ellie threatened, deepening her voice to make her words more convincing, “I put one right between your eyes. Ditto for buddy boy.”

Internally, Y/n grimaced. Ellie was going to get them killed with a poor imitation of Joel.

“You two are quite the hunters,” the shorter man said, his hands held in the air, “We didn’t even hear you coming.”

“Flattered,” Y/n replied, unimpressed, “But this is where you two walk away with your asses still attached and we take what’s ours.”

“Okay,” the man said, making no effort to move.

“Just go!” Ellie impatiently yelled.

“A-all I ask is ten minutes of your time,” the man continued.

“Did you not get that that was a warning?” Y/n muttered, extending her foot ever so slightly to make it look like she was taking a step closer.

“Please,” the man didn’t budge at her non-verbal threat, “Just ten seconds. My name is David. This is my friend, James. We’re from a larger group: women, children, and we’re all…very, very hungry.”

“We’re from a large group too,” Ellie lied, drafting the lie quickly in her head, ���Also hungry.”

David sighed, “Well, even so…” he gestured to the deer, “Ya can’t drag this back just the two of you.”

“We’re fine,” Y/n finished the conversation. The world was dead, yet somehow misogyny was still alive and well…

“We’re not asking for charity,” David clarified, “W-we can trade you for some of the deer. What do you need? We have…boots-“

Ellie’s rifle lowered ever so slightly, her voice coming back to its childlike pitch, “Medicine? Like, for infections.”

“We do,” David replied, surprised they’d hit on something so fast, “Back in our village. You’re welcome to follow us.”

“Yeah,” Y/n wasn’t so quick to believe that it was just that simple, “That’s not happening.”

Ellie picked up her gun-slinging persona again, “Buddy boy can go get it. He comes back, you get half the deer. Anyone else shows up, I put-“

“Put one right between my eyes,” David finished for her.

“That’s right,” Ellie finished, sensing that at some point, she should have let Y/n take over the talking.

David turned to James, leaving his hands hanging in the air, “Alright, go talk to Howard. He’s got a case with some penicillin. Bring back two bottles and a syringe.”

James looked stunned at David’s request, as if killing the two women was the obvious option.

“It’s not code, James,” David added, “Do as I said.”

Y/n’s rifle remained trained on James, waiting for him to make the right move. The man kept his eyes on her the whole time till he could safely jog back into the forest.

“Ten steps back,” Ellie ordered David, her and Y/n marched the man backwards, “Keep going.”

Once he was past the deer, Ellie kneeled down to pick up David’s rifle, unloaded the cartridges while Y/n kept her aim fixed on him.

“That your dad’s gun?” David asked, “He the one who’s sick? That’s why you two are out here on your own?”

“This is not a Starbucks,” Y/n bit out, “We are not chatting over a latte. All you need to know is that one wrong move, and your village goes hungry a hell of a lot longer.”

The words hurt Y/n as she let them fly, she didn’t feel cut out for Joel’s intimidation tactics.

“Well, look, uh,” David looked behind them to an old cabin, “It’s a four mile round trip back to our settlement. It’s gonna be…a while before James gets back. I have some oil and matches in my pack, we could,” he gestured to the cabin once more, “Take shelter. Start a fire.”

It wasn’t the most obscene idea, Y/n thought. She didn’t plan on lowering her gun at any point, and if Ellie and her were going to make the trip back carrying half a deer with them, they needed to save the strength the cold was stealing from them.

“You bring him with us,” Y/n decided, nodding towards the deer.

David nodded back, a smile on his lips that Y/n couldn’t decode. She just knew she’d seen the same expression on the wrong kind of men before.

—————————

David tended to the fire he’d started in the middle of the cabin’s living room, sitting back down and warming his hands. Ellie and Y/n sat across from him, rifles aimed and ready to silence him.

“You know, you two really shouldn’t be out here on your own,” David said, his voice soft and concerned.

“Says the man with two rounds pointed at him,” Y/n remarked.

David shrugged, “Fair enough. So what’re your names?”

Ellie frowned, shaking her head in reply.

“It’s hard to trust strangers, I know,” David stated, “But I honestly mean you no harm. And for what it’s worth,” he opened his hands, “There’s room for you two in our group, if you want.”

“You’re inviting us to join your Hunger Club?” Ellie retorted, “Thanks.”

“It’s true, we’re hungry,” David admitted, “But we’re still here. I’m a decent man, just tryna take care of the people who rely on me.”

Y/n gave a nonchalant shrug, “Okay, so you’re the leader of a ragtag group of survivors. That’s nothing special.”

“Wasn’t my choice, it was theirs, but” David replied, “Yes.”

“They “chose” to follow you?” Ellie replied, “Is this some weird cult thing?”

One half of David’s mouth quirked up, “Uh, well, you sorta kinda got me there, I am a preacher, but just pretty standard Bible stuff.”

Ellie smiled to herself and glanced up at Y/n, who had already tuned out of the whole topic.

David looked between the women, “What?”

“The whole world ended, and you still believe that shit,” Ellie replied.

“I actually started believing after the world ended,” David corrected the girl, “Before that, I was a teacher. Math. Taught kids about your age.”

“So you went from teacher to preacher because, what? It fuckin’ rhymes?” Ellie fired back at the man.

David nearly laughed, “Yeah, exactly.”

Ellie smiled, just a little bit, keeping her aim on David but loosening it. He didn’t seem like much of a threat to her. Y/n, being older and having seen a lot more shit, was less convinced.

“But seriously,” Ellie prompted him to continue his story.

“Well, I found God…after the apocalypse,” David told them, watching Ellie more than Y/n, “Which is either the best time or the worst time to find Him, hard to say. But when the Pittsburgh QZ fell in ‘17, Fireflies and FEDRA…I left with a few others, and th-that’s how I ended up with our flock.”

“This is a long fucking way from Pittsburgh,” Y/n replied, perhaps it would have been a comment coming out of anyone else’s mouth, but it was an accusation from hers. There was something about him she didn’t trust.

David chuckled, “Yeah, we’d settle somewhere and then raiders would come, so we’d move again. And as we wandered, we picked up new people along the way until…” he glanced around him, “We ended up here.”

“Well, your luck had to run out sooner or later,” Ellie commented, the choice of words wasn’t lost on her or Y/n.

“Hm? Luck?” David rearranged his face the way some pastors did before jumping in the pulpit, “There’s no such thing as luck. No, I-I-I believe everything happens for a reason.”

Ellie and Y/n both shared a restrained smile, dodging the attempted sermon like it was a bullet.

“It does,” David insisted, grinning back at them, “I can prove it to you.”

“Okay,” Ellie agreed to his attempt.

David sighed, settling into his makeshift seat a little deeper. “We didn’t expect this winter to be so cruel. Nothing’ll grow. Game’s been hard to find. So I sent four of our people to a nearby town to-to scavenge what they could and only three of ‘em came back. And the one that didn’t was a father. He had a daughter just like you,” David pointed to Ellie, “And her dad was taken from her.”

Y/n slowly connected the dots, one step behind David but ten ahead of Ellie.

“Turns out…he was murdered,” David continued, “By this crazy man. And get this, that crazy man…was traveling with a little girl and a woman.”

Y/n was up on her feet, eye peering through the viewfinder, instantly.

“You see?” David smiled unsettlingly at Ellie, “Everything happens for a reason. James, lower the gun.”

Ellie spun around on her heels, both her and Y/n finding James returned, his handgun aimed straight at Ellie. They switched positions, Y/n’s weapon trained on James and Ellie’s on David.

“She is the one that killed Alec, isn’t she?” James asked.

“She didn’t kill anybody, neither of ‘em did,” David corrected, “Lower the gun.”

James and Y/n squared off, Y/n’s breath hanging on the edge of her lungs, just waiting to pull the trigger and release. Reluctantly, James lowered his pistol.

“Did you bring the medicine?” David asked his friend.

“Yeah, but-“

“Throw it to them.”

James hesitated, “David…”

Y/n’s back was turned to the preacher, but his silence indicated his seriousness. James reached into his pocket and tossed the small package at Y/n and Ellie’s feet.

“Back up,” Y/n said from between her teeth.

James did as requested, moving away from the medicine. Y/n moved closer to the man, letting him stare down the barrel of her gun while Ellie grabbed their trade.

“I know you’re not with a group,” David called, his voice creepily calm, “You won’t survive for long out there. I can protect you.”

They didn’t need to hear any more. Y/n fell behind Ellie, keeping her gun trained on the two men while the girl made a run for it. She thought to shoot them, be done with the whole thing and ensure their safe getaway. Except David had talked too much about his position in their town, they’d have twenty people after then instead of two. It was easy math.

As soon as she was certain David and James wouldn’t pick up their weapons, Y/n bolted into the forest after Ellie.

—————————

They made it back to the house, sweaty and out of breath.

Y/n shoved Ellie through the front door, fearfully scanning the street once before shutting and locking the door. When she got in, Ellie was already making for the basement, where Y/n followed her to.

“Are they gonna find us?” Ellie panted, sprinting down the stairs.

“I hope not,” Y/n replied, wishing she could give her more assurance they were safe.

Joel had barely moved since they’d left, his head having lolled to the right a little. Y/n knelt down at his shoulder, picking up a piece of rag to wipe the sweat from his brow. His body was working overtime to beat the infection.

“How the fuck do I do this?” Ellie loaded the syringe with the first bottle of penicillin.

“You put it either in the wound or around it,” Y/n instructed, an invisible question mark appearing at the end, “I don’t know, I’ve never dealt with a wound like this.”

Ellie considered her options, rolling Joel’s bloody shirt back and getting a good look at the gash. “Fuck it,” she muttered, just before inserting the needle in the middle of his wound.

Joel’s breathing quickened, his abdomen clenched a few times at the sensation, breaking through his unconsciousness. Y/n was there, pressing a kiss to his slick forehead, ready to hold him down if he woke.

“Okay,” Ellie said under her breath as she extracted the needle.

“Good job,” Y/n reassured her, “Penicillin’s fast acting. He should start to improve.”

“H-how do you know that?” Ellie asked, placing a worried hand on Joel’s forehead to test his fever.

The truth was, Y/n didn’t know anything. She was floating on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, adrift from any and all sense of safety. But she wanted to take solace in medicine, in the science of twenty years ago that a little dosage could stitch the body back together. She was choosing to believe.

“I don’t,” Y/n replied honestly, stroking Joel’s hair and peering up at Ellie, “But I have to have faith in something.”

“What, like the guy who wants to kill us?”

Y/n nearly bristled, “No, not exactly. I don’t believe everything happens for a fucking reason,” she looked back down at Joel, her lips quirking upwards briefly, “But some things…some things, definitely. And I don’t believe that we’d go through all the hell we have just to lose now…”

Ellie sighed, nervously rubbing her hands together as she watched Y/n tend to Joel. It came so easy to her guardian, to care for both her and the man who had abandoned her. Ellie’s walls remained so sky high, she wished that she could simply surrender to the warmth in her heart without fearing it as weakness.

She walked around to the other side of the mattress, sinking down onto its edge and laying down next to Joel. She carefully placed her hand on his chest and rested her head on his broad shoulder.

Y/n knew it was difficult for Ellie to open up, that the connection they’d formed back in Boston was like some eclipse that only came every hundred years. She’d watched Ellie slowly peel away at Joel’s defenses, until it was impossible for either to deny they cared about one another. Y/n wished desperately that Joel was awake to return the gesture, to encourage her vulnerability.

There wasn’t enough room on the mattress for all three of them, and Y/n didn’t dare ask Ellie to move an inch. Instead, she brought Joel’s hand up to his chest and laced her fingers through his. She rested her forehead just above his heart, the soft thudding against her skin filling her body with hope that he’d keep fighting. That he wouldn’t leave them.

Joel, slipping in and out of consciousness, wasn’t aware of much going on around him. But somewhere in his slumber, he could sense the warmth that was wrapped around him. He wasn’t chasing any white light, calling him home, but he chased the heat, leaning his head into it. He knew he was safe, so long as he could feel the warmth.

—————————

But there was no improvement the next day.

Joel’s wound had stopped bleeding, but his fever had yet to break.

Y/n knelt over Joel’s abdomen, sucking the second dose of penicillin into the syringe and injecting it. He didn’t so much as make a sound, that worried her.

Ellie sat on the edge of the bed and watched, waiting for some miraculous transformation to occur that would make Joel shoot straight up and return to his normal, grumpy self. If Y/n was honest with herself, her sleep-deprived mind was also waiting on something similar.

“Thought you said it was fast acting,” Ellie remarked, more bitter with the medication than Y/n.

“It is,” she answered, she was fucking exhausted, “But it’s not magic. He took a fucking…” Y/n let her hand fall against her lap, “Whatever it was. That doesn’t heal overnight.”

They didn’t want to say what they were both thinking.

“Come on,” Y/n sighed, rising to her feet with a groan, “Let’s go serve breakfast.”

The two of them filed out the garage, Y/n going to lift the squeaky door and Ellie carrying out a bucket. They gathered handfuls of the freshly fallen snow and brought it back to their horses, it was all they could offer them.

Y/n looked out on the neighborhood, her fingers nearly twitching in anticipation. They’d left tracks on their way back from the woods. If David decided to come after them, it might not be hard to find them. Then again, if he was a preacher, he could have subscribed to the believe that God might exact some sort of revenge on them rather than dirty his own hands.

“What are you thinking about?” Ellie asked, coming to stand by her side.

Y/n sighed, not wanting to consider dying any more. “How tired I am of fuckin’ snow.”

“You and me both,” Ellie remarked.

Without another word, Ellie leaned her head against Y/n’s shoulder. Y/n interlocked her fingers with the young girl’s and they stood in silence, drawing strength from one another.

A flock of crows cawing, flying away from something, broke their peace.

“Get back inside,” Y/n ordered, stepping into the street and following the direction the birds had fled from.

“No fuckin’ way,” Ellie argued, chasing after Y/n. It was wasted breath, telling her not to do something.

Y/n led them through a line of trees, staying low as they walked along a wooden fence. Through the shrubbery and snow, Y/n could spot several bodies a few hundred feet away and the tips of the rifles they carried.

David.

Neither of them dared to say a word, Y/n pushing Ellie backwards and hurriedly sneaking them back across the street to the house. They ran into the garage, quickly and quietly shutting the door behind them, before bolting through down to the basement.

“We gotta draw them away,” Ellie said, on the same wavelength as Y/n, “If they’re after him.”

“We ride back towards the university,” Y/n finished the thought, if there was a fight to be had, that was the best battleground.

Ellie slid across the basement’s floor, smacking Joel’s chest and shaking him by the arm, earning a gasp in return.

“Joel,” she urged, “Joel, wake up.”

“Joel,” Y/n called, she was already grabbing her rifle, “Joel, come on. Wake up!”

“He’s not fucking moving,” Ellie panicked, running off to her backpack.

Y/n took her place, grabbing Joel’s face in her hand, “Joel, I need you to fucking wake up. We need you. Now.”

Everything hit Joel’s ears as if he was underwater, three layers of sea between him and the words. The familiar voices were speaking urgently, in desperate tones. He found the strength to open his eyes, two tiny slits offering him a blurry view of Y/n.

“Keep them open, Joel,” Y/n urged, “Keep them open for me,”

Ellie returned with Joel’s knife, placing it in the hand across his chest, “Okay, okay, look at me. There are men coming, okay? We’re gonna lead them away from you, but if anybody makes it down here, you fuckin’ kill them. You got it?”

Joel’s eyes were beginning to glaze over again.

“Joel,” Y/n slapped his cheeks a few times, feeling him slipping from them, “Do not fall asleep right now. Stay the fuck awake.”

In the end, there was nothing else her or Ellie could do. David was coming and they had to act fast.

Y/n pressed a final, urgent kiss to Joel’s brow, before leaping to her feet with Ellie, praying that he was weakened rather than dead when they returned.

“We gotta block him in,” Y/n said as her and Ellie ran up the stairs, “Grab the china cabinet.”

The two of them maneuvered the hutch in front of the basement door, blockading the entrance as best they could. They ran out to the garage, quickly saddling both their horses and shoving the door back open.

“You ride in front of me the whole time,” Y/n ordered as she mounted her horse, “And if I go down, you don’t stop. You ride back to Tommy, got it?”

Ellie was ready to argue to the death on the point, “I-“

“You ride back to Tommy,” Y/n repeated, feeling the weight of what she was telling Ellie to do. It was the same one Joel had felt two days before.

Ellie rode out first, with Y/n bringing up her rear. She had her pistol off its holster and the rifle across her back, ready to do whatever necessary to keep Ellie and Joel alive.

They rode out the backyard, cutting past a few houses before coming out on the end of the street David and his men were creeping down.

“Hey, motherfuckers!” Ellie yelled just before her and Y/n began to fire. Ellie was shooting to warn, Y/n was shooting to kill.

As soon as the first bullets flew, making the men jump, Y/n and Ellie galloped off the same way they’d come from the university. Ellie listened and stayed ahead of Y/n as they rode. With each foot they gained, a new surge of determination flooded them both that they could make it. Y/n rotated on her horse and prepared to take another shot-

BANG! BANG!

One well timed bullet to Ellie’s horse sent the girl flying, landing harshly in the snow. The horse’s failed body tripped Y/n’s animal, she clutched the reins as she was thrown off, rolling into the snow as her spooked horse ran off.

“I got ‘em,” one of the men yelled.

“El,” Y/n grunted, belly crawling to Ellie, who managed to roll over onto her back. She was in a daze from the fall.

Y/n reached back for her rifle, scrambling to her feet as the crunch of boots began to surround her. She raised her gun at the first set of men, firing one bullet through one of their legs and sending him to the ground. She wasn’t quick enough to swing behind her and avoid the butt of one of their guns being driven into her head.

“Fuckin’ bitch,” the man muttered as Y/n fell.

It was a battle to stay awake through the dizziness, but Y/n managed to get to her knees, shielding the men from getting any closer to Ellie.

“Do it,” the same man who’d clubbed Y/n decided.

Even though they were her last moments, they didn’t feel like it to Y/n. She reached beside her to grab her pistol and cocked it. After twenty years of fighting, she wasn’t about to stop just because death and her were face to face. Not for Joel and certainly not for Ellie.

A shot fired into the air stopped the situation from escalating any further.

David came forward, standing over Y/n and Ellie. He cocked his head towards two of his men before Y/n, his disciples each grabbing one of Y/n’s arms and dragging her back.

“No,” she screamed, kicking wildly as David kneeled down beside Ellie and reached down to take her pulse, “Don’t you fucking touch her!”

David glanced up at Y/n, nearly amused by how aggravated she was. He removed his hand from Ellie, holding it up where she could see it. “Two of you with me,” he ordered, “Drag the horse,” he moved to pick Ellie up.

With all her strength, Y/n slammed her boot down onto one of her captor’s feet, causing his grip to loosen in the agony. She freed her arm and punched the second man at his temple, making him stumble backwards. “No!”

Y/n marched forwards, shoving David’s hands off of Ellie’s body, “She’s my fuckin’ kid.”

David watched every move, thoroughly evaluating the woman in front of him. He removed his hands and stood to his feet slowly, adhering to her demand.

Y/n brushed the loose strands of Ellie’s hair off her wet face, the sight of her unconscious nearly incapacitating Y/n with fear.

“The rest of you go door to door,” David continued his orders, “You so hungry for vengeance? Deliver it.”

Y/n’s head had barely turned before she caught herself. It was better for them to think Joel was up and about and that she had nothing to worry about. Internally, she felt fear spread to the very tips of her fingers.

David began to lead the way as Y/n lifted Ellie into her arms, beginning the two mile hike back to David’s community. She didn’t know what fate they were being marched towards, but she knew one thing.

She’d burn down the whole fucking town before she let anything happen to Ellie.

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[enderspawn]

theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me. 

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.) 

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so. 

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them. 

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties. 

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry. 

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway. 

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)