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[awesomeapricote]

The people that keep the world from falling

They say that the world is held together by the love and passion of very few people.

The people that keep the world from falling

That keep the world from breaking

That prevent the cracks from becoming chasms on the ground

That keep the earth going around

The children ask

Are these people doctors

Or lawyers

Who could possibly handle this task

No, children

You are mistaken

I say

For those are not the protectors of today

I whisper to the children

As they lean closer, unbidden

The very few people who keep the world working

Are the people who keep the world learning

They are the teachers

And professors

And mothers

And fathers

Those are who keep the world turning

The populations learning

They make the doctors into doctors

And the lawyers into lawyers

The world would stop turning

All the fires would stop burning

For if the teachers stopped teaching

The people would stop learning

author’s note: this was my submission for the Iron Pen contest and was submitted under my legal name, not my pen name (Bea).

[awesomeapricote]

military age male.

friday friday friday friday. it's that day again isn't it? this one's sorta special where i live; it's a regional holiday for :star: andalucía :sparkle:, there isn't really a traditional food, event or nothing, you just have a day off or two and well, better feel patriotic (is it still patriotic if it's regional?).

oh btw, this is all being written *checks watch* around 30mins to an hour before posting. Time's tight ik ik. okay so last night i went out for first time in ageeeeeeeesssssss. a friend's birthday came up, sweet 18, how cute. anyways, this friend is ukranian, lived there his whole life. can't remember exact places but basically he's been displaced like, 4 times since 2014 because of the city he's been living at being invaded. Now his family resides in Odessa. Yikes. well he visited for, what'll be the last time he gets to for an indeterminate amount of time. 18's military age. draft. war. all of that. he told me stories of when he visited this past xmas. bombings, but thankfully nothing up close. his birthday was 25th february. 24th they put down his dog and it's the 3rd anniversary of the russian mass invasion of ukraine. Where they almost took Kyiv.

it's sad, i'm sure there's sadder, and i'm sure there's more than tens of thousands of such cases. but this one's like, it's here. it's next to me and well it hits home. if there is another WW you bet your ass i'm avoiding the draft. maybe i'll go, maybe not, but that's up to me and you bet your ass i won't get taken by force. in theory i've got to do conscription (fuck that shi lmao) but only if i live in greece for, more than 6 months in a year? or 3, i'd have to check. either way i'm certainly not gonna be living that long so i don't think i should worry about that.

dehumanizing people is just really crazy to me, like how could you dehumanize russians being forced to the frontline, or switching sides (as in media, propaganda and all) how could you be raised being told and actually believing the best thing you can do is grab a rifle and retake Kyiv. instead of this being the norm i strongly believe that, in this day and age, it's the exception. a common tactic to make a nations population further hate the country with which they are at war is, to dehumanize them, and their population. Hence terms like pigs, savages, animals or other dehumanizing terms of that sort are often used by propaganda and in arguments, i'm sure you've heard them. dehumanizing them makes inhumane actions more justifiable, and morally correct, and brews a potion of hatred which is accepted by the many. This tactic however, works both ways: you could describe someone their small stature, akin to that of what he was, a child. and also go into detail with personal anecdotes of their family, and the grief their loved ones after they die.

military age male. that's me in well, 14 months. fourteen. in fourteen months i'll also graduate. i've got fourteen months to study, lock the fuck in, and i guess assure myself the best future i can. save up all the money i can and well. enjoy. now is supposedly the most time i'll have in my life so you bet your ass i'm making the best of it. war is a real crazy thing. i can't fucking

imagin my brother (19 in a few weeks) going to war LAST YEAR. him. my brother who is well, i fight, argue, play fortnite with (ik :sob::::) and talk with about stupid chud fucking memes. or my friend who just became 18, loves his anime. Okay, back to the point, i went out with this friend, for the first time in ageeeeeeeeessssssss. since his birthday had come up. i bought him a wallet, and, we went to a ring-store to see if he liked any and i told him i'd buy it but he didn't seem too convinced with any. but some other time i'll get him one. maybe next weekend. the group was birthday ukranian boy, other ukranian boy and two russian girls (no harsh feelings ab the war no one's stupid like that) we had a few beers, then a mojito and a shot of tequila. fucking hell that was my first time drinking in ages, since a bottle of Ballentine’s scotch i had once upon a time. then the two guys and i went for dinner with my mom and, it was fine, we all managed to act sober enough haha. or is it jaja? xaaxa?

CHANGING TOPIC, talking w someone today, they asked what the fuck xaxaxaxa means and why the fuck i was saying it. that surprised me, i thought everyone would know but, i guess not. well, i guess the sound hahaha makes is best reproduced with "jajaja" in spanish speaking countries, and "xaxaxaxa" in greek or cyriclic-ish languages (russian, ukrainian, belarusian, kazakh, macedonian bulgarian) and well my brain is torn apart. i usually use just "hahah", yk since, i mostly speak english and well, everyone understands hahaha even if they're language uses jajaj or xaxaxa and they don't even know english. but i but more than per language, if i'm speaking with a russian person i'll use it, even though we're speaking english because i do NOT know russian. anyhow now my brain's fucked up and i mix them all up but not too much, plus now if it's with a close friend i'll use xaxaxa (idk, it's quirky-er plus i'm SICK and TIRED or writing fucking haha, lol, or lmao; i wan't variety.)

well, i think that's gonna be it for today. i know, it's a short one. The shortest one yet if i'm not mistaken. and i don't touch any actual useful / informative topics (sorry,,,) but next time i'll try to! i've got exams next week and the one after the term exams, so i think next friday i won't put another blog :( one friday, but next will be extra long trust! thanks for reading, here's two poems because i'm skipping next friday :p

the way you ghost me's so romantic

i'm downing pills of chlorine

dousing myself in benzene

miss the smell of your hair,

the glare in your eyes of azulene,

so aromatic

/* benzene is the most famous aromatic compound. azulene is another notable one, appearing often in nature, pigments things like flowers blue. hence the name, coming from some latin root (take azul in spanish). also probably don’t take pills of chlorine, please and thank you! */

military age male

don't matter if your skin's dark or pale

let's hope wwIII won't break out

desertion's capital most places

you might not make it to jail.

bitch i'm scared of the second death

my first death will be too soon

i wanna just hold my breath

close my eyes,

dream of us stargazing under the moon

/* i’m guessing you know the concept of the second death? well basically, first is your actual death, second is the last time anyone speaks about you (or thinks ab you depends who you ask) */

PHOTO DUMP!!!!!!

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blog post twooo. electric bungaloo!

hiya, 99.9% of readers won't make it this far, congrats! you have a commendable attention span for reading a 5 min article / blog post and waiting a week for the next and not forgetting!

starting of the week by listening to the sound track of girls band cry... because i well... downloaded the wrong torrent and it was the only music i had downloaded that i wasn't sick and tired of listening to haha. aside from that, i've decided i will actually commit to duoling (lmao let's see how long ts lasts), gohna try do russian, greek (like, advanced to reinforce it) and i'm still deciding on the third language.

why you ask?? awwweee (thas me!) thanks for asking! so kind of my 0.1% oomf to do. gotta find a name to dall you, the reader... still haven't settled on one.

well reinforcing my greek is really a no brainer. i can read, write, understand and converse since little but i've never been really fluent. i wanna change that😝😝😝 apart from duolingo, i guess i have my phone in greek (i do have to switch it to english sometimes if i'm doing something tho... between the really horrendus translations and my sort of limited vocab i have to😞), i am more hesitant to put my laptop in greek tho... since i do like,,, actual important shiz there. anyhow, also read the news 👀

russian is more interesting. greek ih like, real wolrd applications is only really useful for like, well knowing the meanings of scientific words you don't know by their greek roots. sadly, that's about it; truth be said. i guess also since some phrases come out naturally for me in it. anyways, russian! that's more useful.

let's compare populations. russia: 140M, ukraine: 40M, bielorussia: 9M(thought it would be bigger), then all of them (there's A LOT) living abroad. well that culture is lodked behind a translation barrier. if not that, also all the researchQ also think of how well, russia is sort of a global power (in decline) so there's value in it there. apart from culture and literature etc, i guess just general information, forums maybe articles? also obviously chances of finding a friend.

also just, online lot of things are in russian, some just, like, things have russiam text just because they think it looks coond well yeah it'd be nvie tlso know what it means (notable ecamples i can think of: train and cache from cs2, the metro games, and stalker)

not really about learning russian, but a funny thing i'd do with a ukranian friend of mine was, well i tried writing to him in english, but using greek letters and... that sort of failed. then vice versa the same thing happened. butttt we got it working by just implementing a fewnletters from eadh alphwbet and boom we were like, texting by writing on a shared piece of paper in class😝😝 it'd go sort of like this:

ΓΕΪ ΒΡΩ ΠΑΣΣ ΜΕ ΘΕ ΑΝΣΟΥΕΡ ΤΩ ΚΟΥΕΣΤΙΟΝ ΘΡΕΕ

ОКЕЯ УТ'С #ФОР

ΘΑΝΚΣ ΒΡΩ

НО ПРОВЛЕМ

if you don't know either greek alphabet or cyrillic, well... idrk how you can translate that it needs that humnan touch 👉✨👈

anyways, moving onto university. university is lowk stressing me the fuck out. like bro. my ass is gonna be in uni in no time. i was using claude to give me lists of universities that i more than surpass the requirements to with my scores atm, and ngl i thought i'd have to settle but hell nah i guess i had gaslit myself to thinking requirements would be more strict.but looks like things might end uell after all.

i'm probably going to do computer science, from what i've heard ?robably regret it but idk, seems like it could be usefull, hopefully i don't regret it. i'm only really intetested in any uni inside of europe, and had my eyes set on denmark but helsinki and some others in sweeden / germany look interesting👀👀👀

university-wise that's it!

it's monday 02:00 am, just finished your name. lowk underwhelming anime, the beginning was awesome tho. can't fucken stand my face agh i shaved so bad and in a rush yesterday.

oh god. writing this Tuesday 1700H and well. yeah i'm having surgery friday. jeepers creepers i'm low? nervous ash. but it's okay!

hello. you, yes you. you've made it to the technical article-style part. go on, read it, suck all that knowledge inq you've earned it.

okay. what are your thoughts on coronal mass ejections (CME)? they cause geomagnetic storm- FUCK THAT SHIT. i ain't gonna use bs words. coronal mass ejections = solar flare. yes just solar flare. well where i'm going with the solar flares is that, well i'm fascinated by them. weird to think that a solar flare (i might use CME to not be repeating "solar flare" too much but i swear just to avoid repetitiveness) could like, destroy all of our electronics, and essentially send us back to the middle ages. frankly, worse off since we have now become reliant on electronics; even if not directly, indirectly as we rely on civilization law and order. okay, well lemme briefly explain the science behind this just because it's actually pretty cool and interesting soooo here goes nothing!

the sun; this beautiful orb in the sky that makes the world go round. we orbit it like a little duckling, and something crazy like 99% of all ENERGY in our planet, well, comes from the sun! how? well in forms of radiation. for heat to transfer conventionally, there needs to be a conduction medium. when i turn on my radiator in my room (which i love very much) it heats up, and in turn heats up the air around it which heat up the air around the air and so on. the air conducts it poorly (gas) so if i touch the radiator (solid finger --> solid ceramic) there is a faster and more efficient transfer of heat and well; i burn myself! the air around it isn't burning tho. basic thermodynamics yes we all know it trust this'll help you understand this. the sun heats everything up in our planet, that's great! but how?

what is there in space. no actually what is there in space? so we have stars, planets, mooons, asteroids comets which form solar systems, galaxies and ✨the universe💫. now that's phenominal, how they go at break-neck speeds since there's no air for friction. no gas medium for friction. it's just so great since there's NO AIR, NO GAS and NOTHING in between all of these objects so they are completely isolated from each other but wait. hold up. how do we get the heat? well there are two ways heat can transfer, there's conduction (my radiator) and there's radiation (maybe radiator wasn't the best analogy the word might lead to confusion... fuck it yolo). well there's more like convection but you don't need to know about that now (or ever really who tf cares about convection). okay radiation.

//air: 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen and 1% (carbon dioxide, Argon, water vapour (humidity) and other bullshit gasses)

the sun well, is emmitting loads of radiation, really really strong radiation with a lot of energy. the radiation comes from the nuclear fusion happening inside, now nuclear fusion is a cool topic since it well, we know loads about it but can't for the life of us recreate it. okay well our nukes, our big bombs that are super powerful for their size? they work by... well breaking apart atoms, which releases A LOT of energy, in many ways (radiation (different types), light, heat, kinetic, etc) and this is really cool and all but it's less powerfull than nuclear fusion. nuclear fusion is, instead of breaking apart an atom, you merge two hydrogen atoms for example and form one helium atom. now THAT releases a lot of energy. but to do that, you need insanely high temperatures and crazy high pressure so that's what's happening at the very center of the sun; that's why it's this big hot flaming ball in constant explosions being held in by it's massive gravity, which leads to higher temperatures and pressure and more nuclear fusion. OMG IT'S NEARLY 2AM, and i've only writen the boring part :( i wanna write the fun one :)

okay radiation yada yada, hits us and sun is constantly exploding. sometimes it explodes more than we want it to! that is a solar flare. okay so normally, our magnetic poles will protect us from this terrible radiation, but if it's a big enough solar flare, then there will be a geomagnetic storm (it would also be √ery unlucky if it hits our planet) and it will sort of linger for a while. think greenhouse gasses yk? well yeah and this very strong radiation would:

- make radios useless

- breaks big electronics connected to the grid

this basically happens because the radiation will interact with the earths magnetic field, and, as you should know; where there's an electromagnetic field, there's a current (and vice versa), that's how motors work for example! it'll also probably fuck up all satelites (bye GPS) and uh, probably won't break laptops, phones, or disconnected computers. unless it's a really strong one (like unfathomably strong) and well, then we're sorta fucked.

okay, finaly finally finally. i've been like, sort of obsessed with this for a while. the whole solar flare scenario and - to a lesser degree - other Shit Hits The Fan (SHTF) scenarios. now look i swear i'm not a prepper, but idk i just find it so fun to fantasize and imagine a scenario like this. what would i do? first hour? first 10? first night? first week? long run, months years?

/* writing this next part in the morning of... i'm lowk very tired and lost the train of thought i had last night bear with me :c */

well, i guess the first bit i would be preparing contraptions and packing a bag :'c, there's all the boring stuff like food, water and simple tools or weapons like knives etc but i think i won't go into that. i'm probably gonna go into things that are a bit less conventional. take for example the potassium nitrate in my garden shed. 2kg. potassium nitrate (KNO3) is a very useful fertilizer, but also a strong oxidizer. mix it with sugar at a 60/40 ratio and mix the powder finely and you got little explosives!

the way i see it, there are many things you can't have / make because they're well... illegal as fuck, and for a good reason! but in this scenario those rules no longer really apply. I'd also opt in for some retarded but lowk smart things like i made this pepper spray once well i could just do that again, or put something like bleach in a water gun for :star: self defence :glitter:

/* STORY TIME!

okay so i was with some friends, i was young and dumb and lowk very fucking retarded; then we went to like, an abandoned house we would frequently go to hang out at. and there were these tables and i had some bullshit i brought in my bag (ingredients!). okay well with a mixture of like, some bullshit concentrated capsaicin from these real spicy peppers i made the night before, a little bit of bleach, and other real dumbass disinfectants and vinegar i think? made this faux-pepper spray. and put it in a little spray bottle that used to have disinfectant once upon a time in the covid days. okay well we were like okay this should work, and well, how do we know? we had to test it.

naturally, i volunteer, after cooking this shit up at night in a random countertop at an abandoned like, whole ass building on top floor. we made it with a mix of candle light (i bring candles to most of my hangouts, i just got that swag) and phone flashlights. vibey ash. okay so i spray a big ass spray to my left eye. holy fucking god. i went into it thinking, okay i'm gonna play it cool and be all like damn that was nothing but i just instantly was in fucking AGONY. so fucking painful, tears started fucking squirting the fuck out, and i started mumbling or something? this is what they told me and then i like, fell / collapsed (not violently but like, slowly and in pain yk?) and was like wattererrereererer plesaseseseses watererere and we had water so they were pouring water on my eye and i was like i CAN NOT OPEN IT and they were prying it open but that was very fucking painful. anyhow after 5 minutes it was just a moderate sting that lasted for 30. no eye damage! (made sure the recipe was safe-ish) all in all, very effective, would love to see this in a water gun, actually wait no i take that back.

*/

also i have a few broken (well old enough to not hold any significant charge) car batteries, i'd remove the sulphuric acid (you should know how usefull that is for.. well anything you can do in chemistry that's usefull (okay no everything but most) will need a strong aci'd like sulphuric. also fuck you i'm writin it with "ph" it's accepted. outfit? probably this full military uniform my uncle gave me, like full overals and shit and idk i think it looks dope, plus the fabric is really thick in a way that like, you feel protected. like a dog could attack and the fabric would break the dogs teeth; but in a way that's still comfortable as shit? idk how to explain it. well, i will most definitely write much more on this whole SHTF apocalipse scenario because i absolutely love it, just it's FRIDAY, i've got to do a bunch of workkkk and i don't want to start the big next section (electricity and electronics) without being able to finish it (or rushing it and not ending up going in depth.

so, i think this is gonna wrap it up for today. sorry i'm late in posting this, i've been stuck ash and couldn't really come up with nothing, maybe next week i will go more into depth on the electronics side because that is real cool. like trust, whole wave length modulation, because it's not as easy as plugging solar panels in and boom you have electricity. most inverters rely on the grid for wavelength modulation. then things like setting up mini internets (meshnets?) and radio, telegraphs, hopefully communities, having that technological advantage. i keep more prepper archives than i'd like to admit :( hahah good night. thanks for reading. frankly (is that a frank reference?) this is so fun to write i will be consistent !!!.

ps. the topics i write about, and the topics i've begun writing about for future articles are all sourced from fun, long, and studious DM conversations, where i link up with someone (oomf or irl) and we start fucking ranting and yapping for hours and talk about super interesting shit. i honestly live for that.

what if the lights go out?

i can't stop thihking what i'd do

how i'd reach out to you

keep you safe during the blackout

what if we ate saurkraut?

never had it

sounds germanic

Anne, you're so romantic

let's rp, i'll be the attic

what if the stars fade out?

we'd only get to lay under the moon

the sparks at night won't flicker

we'd be left alone outside with just the liquor

what if our flame dies out?

i guess that would be okay

five and a half liters just gotta spill three

129 bpm, chest aches

40mmHg, fading fast

hypovolemic shock bring me peace.

//photodump of da week (lacks a little mb)

[awesomeapricote]

heyyy, it's valentines, feels so good to be alone today, rightttt????? my first post on, well, i typed this in my notes so whatever blog website i choose to use! (that rhymed)

here i'll be like i am in my tweets but in more of a serious way. longer form content. but it'll really be more just like a diary. i'm aiming for minimum one blog post a week, hopefully more. maybe i'll try end each post with a poem, if i run out and can't make one in time i'll put a song lyric i resonate w/...

things i plan to write about:

-my life 💫

-maybe some proper interesting articles about tech, chemistry, or other science that interests me and i can provide real value to you w my insight

-poetry🔥✍️

-short fic stories (SFW dw haha)

-maybe general advice blogs? ooo Q&A...

-anything someone will actually WANT to read, like look forward to next post and enjoy reading it.

what do you guys think about my writing style?, i've been told it's unique, and like, if you've ever texted me i know for a fact that the way i text is awesome. idk just, i feel like everyone has their own voice, choice of words, use of punctuation (ik i overuse commas and semicolons) and don't get me started on why i'm a lowercasefag. i love how i use punctuation and don't capitalise anything,,, or how i've got a weird mix of UK spelling w/ US spelling. 

you can also - given a large enough sample-size of data - guess my mood at the time of writing! looking back ay what i wrote, take that longish paragraph; short sentences, also very simple choice of words and the structure is the same repetitive “i like...“. that's well... how i right when i'm tired haha. when i'm real happy or real sad (or any other extreme emotion really) i'll procure more convoluted and complex sentences, i just love making them connect and reference each other in smart ways. i know that by doing that, i do so at the cost of legibility, but i think that's more than worth it for having some authentic (feeling-wise, being honest and not a phony) HUMAN made media.

human made media. like pure 100% human media. that is a scarce phenomenon that is in decline, and honestly i fear for it. if i do a google search because i want to read up a bit on some tech-y subject, sometimes i'll have these articles pop at the top of the search. not the sponsored / tagged as articles (i have extensions that remove those) but rather the first actual result. and well, the title is exactly, eexxaaccttllyy what i'm looking for.

word for word.

but once you like, click on it? answers to your question? that shit will teach you fuck all. it will genuinely just be a two paragraph article clearly written by AI that just use lots of buzzwords and rephrase the question a couple of times. my best guess? mew era of bots hashtag spamming where they... well... make an “answer“ to your question. i don't feel good about that at all, i can tell most times the moment i'm reading soulless AI text, it's just unsettling and makes me feel like i'm wasting my time.

the problem is that, well, AI is being trained on data that has well, AI mistakes. wether or not they somehow completely remove all the ai slop from their training data... bear with me one second:

ai - > data - > learns, produces using that data

human - > data - > learns, produces using the data

i think you see my point. i have seen real humans, no internet, pen and paper, no phones laptop or nothing. WRITE WITH A TINGE OF AI!! worst part is, there's no telling if i'm going crazy or if this is reallll. so this “human made“ content, is 100% human, but, the human learned to write like AI so it's a negative shit-on-your-hands-and-clap scenario.

that's only text. what about those bullshit youtube videos? instagram reels? people on twitter writing “informative threads“ that's just the reply chatgpt gave them? god forbid i have to look at another ai picture, or ai fuckface read me a reddit thread. bro, i hate it. 

why do i hate it? it provides no real value. when someone reads something human made they will almost certainly gain something from it. even if it's not informative in it's nature you will still (if it is written well) hopefully be subject to (watch this, ima do some crazy links and connections, watch it) using that as sample data on how to write (produce) your own works. by doing this you fill up your training data with better quality content and well, produce better things as a result. bear in mind you can also read something really bad amd then know NOT to write like that, still useful.

to close the ai rant, i find it almost insulting or harmful to read ai slop. i love reading some older articles like from 2014 just to appreciate the writting, and i'm not even an lingophile haha.

in this blog i didn't really talk about a whole lot, but all the other times i swear you'll get more out of it! i feel i said too little in too many words which i recognize i hate when i'm the victim of reading it. sorry i had to be the one producing it haha. hopefully it was interesting at least, it was for me at least!

to close here's TWO poems (two bc valentines gift!!):

/

bitch look at my collection of scarfs

i got the tourniquet, makes me purple like a freak

a 12 gauge, hugs me on the inside

switch blade hugs me on the outside

and a noose if things ever look too bleak

/* no real explanation... i guess i wasn't too happy at the time of writing that one */

i wanna find someone for real

get married before thirty

someone crazy

funny

kinky

that won't put no one before me

i want her right fucking now

i'd please you,

for once feel true requited love

lust

and desire

ride my face, pull my hair while you're at it

I'll go crazy on your clit

and you could queef, leak and spit

we could lay together under the covers

when i think of you i just wanna cuddle

stay up talking all night, tryna solve your puzzle

i look and i look for that someone

i beg and cry, always need someone to lean on

with my effort put into her, i coulda found DB cooper

even he left clues, but bitch's just a rumor

he had it all planned,

he was in it for the money

i guess i'll never understand

i guess seeing me sad must be that funny

/* thought i'd put this longer one since it's related to valentines... i'm just lonely man sorry i got gross over there after the beginning haha */ 

/

AHHHH embarassing. i've got notes with loads (prolly like, only 10 good ones) of those poems and i'll trickle feed them onto here. try to write some more of them if i have time. i hope this was a good first blog post, i'll be so happy with like... 5 weekly readers, i think i can make that happen <3

this valentines is so lonely man. worst part is i know ima be alone for a while idek any girl I, like ME, I (in caps) wanna date. let alone any-fucking-body that wants to date me. i don't want hookups i genuinely wanna just find 💫the one💫 and feel safe and keep her safe for rest of our lives.

now for real, good bye, i must go to sleep now. i love writting this have wanted to start for fucking everrr man, have a nice day and feel super duper free to text me WHENEVER, day, night, weekend i'll reply asap. (photo dump!!!) gutbai.

[awesomeapricote]

i'm gonna test waters on this fine website you people have. i will post my weekly blogs (every friday) on here, including last weeks and this week's. not really sure how this works but can't be that hard right?

my blogs are more like articles, but i start it off with personal stuffs, i touch a topic (normally sciency that i like) and end with a poem of mine or two and a photo dump