#posting in my lunch break because i can't watch it live :(

[fulltulips]

bed chem - l.dh ; part o n e

description: what happens when you finally come face to face with the one and only notorious playboy!haechan...? you can't help but wonder your bed chem with him.

pairing: lee haechan x fem reader

genres: fluff, smut, college au

warnings: alcohol and smoking mentions, pet names, kissing, vulgarities, suggestive sexual activities, drunk mentions, reader uses her/she pronouns

author's note:

hihii !! this is my first ever post... so please be nice and I hope you enjoy this ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ♡ recently i’ve been listening to short n sweet album !! and i love bed chem sooooooo much ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ so i got the idea of writing this fic !! do lmk if you guys might want a entire series of short n sweet with other members hehe

location: home

“come onnnn y/n! i promised the dreamies i would be there at the party at mark’s houseee!” renjun whined as he tugged on your cherry patterned silk pyjamas.

“okay…go then?? i don’t understand why i would have to go with you??” you lazily said as you continued watching bridgerton without sparing renjun a glance.

“because you’re my best friend? and plus the dreamies have been wanting to meet my housemate for so long!”

ever since college began a year ago, renjun was in search of a place to stay in and luckily then you were in search of a housemate.

it was awkward in the beginning to say the least…

you had never lived with a boy your entire life until college but luckily renjun was the nicest guy ever, you guys instantly clicked and became great friends.

well renjun could’ve stayed with his dreamies friends that you’ve never met but renjun claims it’s too dirty and messy to live with 6 other boys.

you wouldn’t even dare to imagine the chaos…

“okay but what’s in it for me if i go?” you sighed, finally turning over to look at renjun.

“you’ll finally step out of the house and interact like a normal social functioning human?” renjun sarcastically replied giving the most “duhh” face.

although that was sarcastic, it was true… you hadn’t stepped out of the house since the semester break had began last week.

you’ve just been lazing at home with the same routine everyday.

you woke up in the late afternoons, ate lunch, binged watch your favourite shows till midnight before you finally ate your dinner and continued watching shows till you fell asleep.

the only person you communicated in the past week was only renjun but he was always out and about.

a huge difference between the two of you…

you were definitely comfortable but upon hearing renjun’s statement made you realise just how much you’ve been living like a cavewoman…

“fine! i’ll go with you… ONLY because i cant keep living like a cavewoman…” you finally stood up from the couch and got to your room to change and get ready.

“10minutes is all you get y/n!” renjun yelled.

pfft… 10minutes? in his dreams…

20 minutes later

“y/n! YOU MUST MAKE HASTE!!” renjun yelled.

(bridgerton reference hehe)

“i’m ready!! geez calm down renjun” you walked out of your room in a sheer white babydoll dress as you finished touching up on your lip tint .

“gosh i could fly back and forth between korea and china and you still wouldn’t have finished getting ready” renjun joked erupting laughter from both of you.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚

location: mark’s house, at the party

the moment renjun and you had arrived at the party…

my oh my… you could feel the bass vibrations of the music through your ears and the ground.

it was obvious this is mark’s house.

with vibrant neon flashing lights shined and lighted up the house as the lights peeked it’s way out of the windows giving the dark neighbourhood some sort of lighting.

you couldn’t imagine how badly your eyes were gonna hurt the moment you stepped into the party.

“hey! renjun you’re finally came!” a pretty boy with the biggest grin welcomed renjun.

“i would’ve been here earlier if miss given 10 minutes didn’t take so long…” renjun complained.

man… this dude won’t ever let this slide anymore…

“oh? she’s your housemate? you didn’t tell me she’s this beautiful? hi ! i’m na jaemin nice to meet you” jaemin introduced himself with sparkles in his eyes.

warmth crept up your cheeks as you’ve never had someone directly compliment you like this.

“hi…? im y/n… nice to meet you?” you shyly greeted back feeling nervous while jaemin held the most intense eye contact with you while you were mess looking everywhere but jaemin in the eye.

“you’re so cute like a tiny bear! gosh i would keep you in my pockets if i could!!” jaemin grinned and patted your head.

you could feel even more warmth rushing up this time round.

“okay jaems i don’t need you flirting with my housemate. my house is the last place i need you to be in” renjun rolled his eyes as jaemin held his hands up as if he was surrendering.

you chuckled lightly loving their friendship banter.

“let’s go find the others they’re waiting! come on little bear” jaemin told renjun as he slung his arm around your shoulders.

although it felt weird having a arm around your shoulder with a random dude you just met… it made the party felt less taunting honestly.

squeezing pass a body of strangers was the worst feeling ever but having jaemin’s arm to guide you made you felt safer while you could smell the beer coming from jaemin’s breath.

“alright guys! meet y/n! she is renjun’s housemate” jaemin stopped in front a place with a couch and a few beanbags placed with 4 other boys there.

you shyly waved at them

“hi!! im chenle nice to finally meet you!! ya! jisung quick say hi” chenle excitedly nudged this tall guy sat beside him which you assumed to be jisung.

“hi im jisung…” he muttered

“don’t worry about jisung he’s quite shy with new people” jaemin whispered to you as he stood beside you.

“hi jisung! nice to meet you” you mustered the friendliest greeting you could give and waved at jisung which he returned.

“hi y/n ! im jeno” jeno introduced as he smiled forming crescent moons gathering attention to the beautifully placed mole beneath his eye.

“ayo wassup im mark! you can mark me in your hea-”

“ok that’s enough mark!!” everyone interrupted mark’s introduction.

“aw dude i was hoping to say it once tonight” mark sulked as he took another sip from his red cup.

you couldn’t help but laugh at their silliness.

“wait where’s haechan hyung?” jisung questioned.

“probably sucking off a girl’s face or smoking right now” renjun said like it was the most natural thing ever.

“whatever he’ll find his way back later. come sit y/n !! do you want a drink? i can get it for you”chenle said as he patted the empty seat on the couch beside you.

“oh that’s okay i can get it myself! does anyone want anything from the kitchen?” you smiled appreciating the offer from chenle before you asked the group.

everyone shook their heads with some saying thanks.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚

you squeezed past the bodies of strangers again with random turns and passes until you finally found the kitchen.

but of course… another obstacle was in your way…

like a literal obstacle.

two humans making out in-front of the fridge making it impossible to get your drink.

you coughed lightly in hopes of getting their attention…

nothing.

“excuse me…?” you softly said.

still nothing.

“uhm hi… if you could just excuse me-” you said as you tapped the guy’s shoulders.

“what?” he scoffed, rolled his eyes before he finally faced you.

‘i was in a sheer dress the day that we met’

you felt the world stopped.

the music tuned out and you could feel your breathe stolen away.

you were faced with a guy with beautiful honey skin and a pair of the softest brown eyes despite the heavy smudged eyeliner.

he had beauty marks on his face that formed constellations.

he towered over you allowing his scent to engulf you. it was mix of woody scent, alcohol and cigarettes.

he stood tall as he dressed in in a black singlet and jeans with a classic black leather jacket over his shoulders.

the girl he made out with was long gone, it was just the two of you staring at each other in the kitchen.

it was safe to say you were attracted to this man in-front of you knowing well he screamed bad news.

the longer he stood and looked at you, his eyes softened.

you stood in-front of him, doe eyed, full of innocence in your white sheer dress and your pink pouty lips.

“fuck…” he thought in his head.

the same you thought. from just his appearance you could feel wetness pooling in your pink laced thongs.

you couldn’t help but wondered what was your bed chem with him.

he was the complete opposite of you, he embodied bad news, he was dark and mysterious, like a thunderstorm.

but you were different, you were alluring, you were like a breeze in a garden on spring day, like a breath of fresh air.

“cat got your tongue love?” he finally broke the silence.

“huh..oh.. uhm i just wanted to get a drink from the fridge sir?” you stuttered as you looked down at the ground barely gathering any courage to speak up.

weirdly the endearment felt so smooth when he called you as if he has always called you in that your entire life.

he found you so adoring.

but the way you said sir, made him felt something in him stir.

“did you just call me sir?” he questioned feeling intrigued.

“well… i don’t know your name” you finally looked up at him.

“don’t go around calling any guy sir randomly love. you don’t know what it does.” he leaned forward closing the distance between both your faces as he cups your face in his rough hand.

what a hypocrite this man was calling you love…

you could smell the mix of alcohol and cigarettes in his breath, which you usually hate but somehow you didn’t mind when it was with him.

“yo hyuck! finally i found you come be my beer pong partner- oh? y/n you finally met haechan!”

‘we were both in a rush we talked for a sec’

‘your friend hit me up so we could connect’

oh… so he’s renjun’s friend… haechan… haechan… hyuck?

haechan removed his hand from your cheeks, somehow you felt sad from the loss of comforting warmth from him.

“haechan this is y/n! she’s renjun’s housemate” mark staggered his way over to you and swinging his arm across your shoulders clearly losing his senses to alcohol soon.

“alright let’s get going beer pong championship achiever” haechan rolled his eyes as he removed mark’s arm from your shoulders.

“lessgooooooo!” mark excitedly exclaimed as he exited the kitchen to the beer pong table.

“i’ll see you around love” he patted your head with a smirk on his face and left with a wink.

blush crept up to your cheeks, you could feel yourself physically feeling hotter.

you quickly got your drink from the fridge and left to sit on the couch with the rest of the dreamies.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚

but the whole night you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander towards haechan standing at the beer pong table.

with the occasional glances and winks haechan would give you was not safe for your heart.

there was no denying you found haechan attractive.

but how could it be when you just met him?

“y/n? you good? you’ve been staring at haechan?” chenle questioned.

you’ve been exposed.

“oh? no i wasn’t… i think i’m just tired i tend to usually blank out” what in the stupidest excuse.

“aite it’s time to head back stoned y/n! let’s goooo” renjun stood up from the beanbag and walked towards the door.

“whaaaaat we just met stay longer little bear!” jaemin whined with rosy cheeks and eyes that were barely focusing on you anymore.

“sorry guys it’s late i should head back now… we can hang out sometime soon again tho” you suggested with a smile on your face.

jeno smiled and gave a okay sign with his hands before he waved bye.

before you could even step out of the house, a hand grabs your wrist.

you turned to find haechan holding onto you.

“leaving so soon love?” he cocked his eyebrow as he bent down to reach your height, making both of you face to face now.

you stumbled back a little, shock from the barely existent distance between the two of you.

haechan’s hands found it’s way behind your waist supporting you from tripping. you felt your breathe hitched from the contact.

his hands were warm but the silver rings he had on gave a cold touch to your waist. you love his touch, you craved for it and wished to be held by him as long as you can.

you couldn’t help but wonder how his touch would feel all around your body, playing with your tits as his other hand fingers you making you cum all over his fingers.

and watching him lick your cum all off his fingers and your pussy.

“i bet we would have really good bed chem…” you thought to yourself.

as you looked into his eyes this time, it held softness and sincerity different from when you had first met. you could feel his hot breath against you while you were quite literally holding onto your breath.

he smelled so good, you just wanted to be around him all day but you had to remind yourself, you had just met.

“yea it’s getting late and renjun’s already waiting so…”

“before you go…” he hands you his phone with his keypad on display.

you looked at him with questions in your eyes.

“what’s your phone number love? i need to keep in contact with you don’t i?” haechan chuckles as he jokingly uses his finger to push your forehead.

he looks so good smiling, like a bright sun on a cloudy day.

“oh! you could get it from renjun tho…” you said while keying in your phone number on his phone.

“if i get it from renjun, i wouldn’t have a chance to talk to you right now don’t i? and i wouldn’t be able to give you this.”

“huh? give wha-” suddenly you felt a pair of warm lips on your forehead.

“goodnight sweet dreams love. get home safe, text me when you’re home” he smiles and ruffles your hair.

oh haechan… what are you doing to my heart…

[yanderambling]

thank you both so much!! i decided to mix these up a bit so have Adrian being jealous over reader bullying someone else (and then doing something about it...)! i hope you like~ also: i changed the gif for... reasons, sorry lol i swear this won't be a thing okay bye enjoy <3

pairing: Masochist Puppyboy!Yandere(m) x Bully!Reader(gn)

words: ~ 2.2k

you can read the original post here!

CW: 18+, yandere behavior, bullying, physical/verbal abuse, breaking/entering, violence, mild gore, suggestive shit too ygi

Adrian watches in stunned horror as you crowd another student against the wall of the school hallway.

You lean your face close to theirs, some sweet poison dripping from your tongue, and they laugh nervously. They keep pressing back against the wall, as if they want to get away from you.

What an idiot. Doesn’t this moron see that they're being blessed in this moment? Don't they know that others would kill to be in their position?

Adrian feels the wooden bento box lid crack under his fingers.

He'd struggled not to assume the worst when you hadn't been at your spot to pick it up today, but now he just feels like a fool for harboring hope.

How could this happen? How could you do this to him? How could this person be more important than his homemade lunch? Than him? Have you gotten bored of him already? What does this dimwit have to offer you that he doesn't?

He's standing in front of you before he realizes he'd moved.

It's even harder to watch up close- your sparkling, predatory eyes tracking every uncomfortable shift of your victim, your body closing them in, making them feel trapped.

Oh, how Adrian aches to be your prey again.

Luckily, it only takes few seconds of awkward hovering before you register his presence.

"Oh- ha, shit. Hey," You tap the other student's shoulder, despite their full attention already being on you, "you've met my mutt, right? Just a sec."

You turn to face him, one hand still on the wall just above the other student's shoulder. Adrian blessedly can't focus on it over the euphoric mantra of my mutt my mutt my mutt echoing in his head.

Your fingers brushing over his as you snatch the lunch away is just enough to break him out of it.

"Great, fuck off now." You turn back to the other student as you jam the box into your bag.

No.

No no no no no.

That can't be it. He can't just leave you here to be swept away by some bland bambi wannabe, resigning him to forever trailing behind, vying for the scraps of your cruelty. No, he can't have that. He can't live off of that.

Stricken by a new sense of panic, Adrian can do little more than remain uncertainly by your side, leveling an unnerving glare at the other student as he imagines every single way he'd like to take them out of the equation.

"I like this jacket." You remark with an infuriatingly flirtatious edge.

"Th-thanks." The student stutters, flinching when you pick an imaginary piece of lint off their arm. Adrian clenches his hands into fists. "Uh, it was a birthday gift, from- from my parents."

A knowing smirk curls your lips as you nod in faux interest (Adrian can tell). "Yeah? Looks expensive. I wonder what else your folks got you?"

The other student starts to look even more uncomfortable, shifting on their feet as their eyes dart around in search of an escape route.

Oh. So that's your plan, skim off their birthday haul? Of course.

Now that he thinks about it, Adrian recalls that this student is somewhat notorious for having wealthy parents- but, hell, Adrian's parents are definitely richer than theirs! Why didn't you just come to him? (Because you have no idea; he certainly doesn't dress like it, he walks to school, and it's not like you pay him too much mind outside of the lunches and entertainment he provides anyway.)

"I can give you money."

You slowly turn your head to face him, a dangerous edge to the movement that sends a thrill down Adrian's spine.

"Did you not hear me before? I said fuck off."

Adrian's gut clenches unpleasantly, torn between his instinct to obey you and his desire to stay the object of your attention.

The latter wins out pretty quickly.

"...no."

Your entire demeanor shifts.

A manic, incredulous sort of smile spreads across your face as the challenge fully registers. Adrian notices your unoccupied hand flexing beside you as you turn to face him fully. He doesn't think he's ever seen you look so wild, so feral. The force of your stare is enough to have him cowering, ears flattening as his tail tucks firmly between his legs (more to hide his tenting crotch than out of fear).

Your voice is menacingly level as you say,

"The fuck did I just hear?"

Adrian is pretty sure his heart has stopped beating.

He's completely frozen, his throat clicking as he struggles for something, anything to say, to get that intense glare off him but also please dear god don't look away-

"Uh- I, ah- I- I didn't- um-"

Brrrriinngg!

Adrian flinches as the bell rings, and he just barely sees the other student ducking under your arm and scurrying off to class.

"Fuck!"

You slam your fist into the concrete wall, causing Adrian to flinch again, though he stays rooted to his spot in front of you.

"See what you did? Stupid fucking mutt..."

You shove past him roughly, and the pain of his shoulder colliding with the wall is beautifully complemented by the residual warmth of your body against his.

He watches in shock as you stalk down the hall and disappear from sight.

He can't believe he did that. He can't believe he's still standing. He wonders what would've happened if the bell hadn't rung, if you two hadn't been on school grounds...

A shiver surges through his body at the thought, and he has to physically shake himself to return his mind to the issue at hand.

Crisis averted.

For now.

Throughout the day, you corner that student exactly five more times. Adrian manages to interfere with every single one.

It's at the end of the school day, after you've told him off rather disappointingly for getting involved again (and you don't even give him a good punch for his trouble), that Adrian decides he needs a more permanent solution.

It isn't hard to follow your new target home, god knows he's had plenty of practice, and their security's not much trouble either. It's remarkably robust for a home system, but Adrian is a lonely nerd with too much time on his hands and practical experience. Dismantling it takes less than an hour.

Once he's inside, it's just a matter of scribbling a threatening note in unidentifiable handwriting (stating, in no uncertain terms, that they shouldn't even think of going near you again if they know what's good for them), hiding in their closet to take polaroids of them asleep, removing a lock of their hair to attach to the note alongside the polaroids, and leaving it all on their desk for them to find in the morning.

He's got it down to a science at this point.

The rest of his night is spent outside your window, watching you sleep and wishing things would go back to normal.

When it's still only your friends at your usual spot the next morning, Adrian feels disappointment weigh him down for the rest of his walk.

But, when he gets to school, he sees you openly scanning the hallways. Alone, no new victim in sight.

It seems they're trying to listen, at least. Emboldened by the lack of competition, Adrian hurriedly brings you your lunch.

You still dismiss him almost immediately.

He's tempted to defy you again, if only for you to give him a second glance, but he really doesn't think he could handle the rush again this soon.

Instead, he watches from a distance as you continuously try to track your new target down, and they consistently evade you.

He has to commend their effort- going to classes without textbooks, hiding in every nook and cranny when you passed, they even ate their lunch in the bathroom- it's looking like they might just be able to comply.

Until school lets out, and you catch them sneaking around the back.

"Hey! You have not been easy to find. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're avoiding me."

Adrian stays hunkered in the shadows as the other student stiffens and slowly turns to face you.

"Leave me alone."

The demand is so quiet, it's mostly lost to the ambient hum of the town around you.

You pull a familiar smirk and sidle closer to them, confidence emanating from your every movement. "What was that?"

They suddenly stumble backwards, just barely saving themself from overbalancing as they shout,

"Leave me alone!"

Your eyes widen at the outburst, and Adrian notices you checking for new witnesses as you raise your hands defensively.

"Woah, woah, what's the-"

"Just- just leave me alone! I know who you are, okay? I-I know what kind of person you are, the- the things you do, and I don't- I don't want anything to do with you! Okay? Or- or your creepy fucking friend, either!"

"My wha-?"

"I don't- None of it! Listen- my-my mom's a lawyer, you know? She could have you arrested for-for harassment, or worse! So just- just leave me alone!"

They turn and flee before you can get another word out.

You're left standing stunned, your hands clenching into fists as you fully process this rejection, this humiliation, this complete and utter undermining of your power.

You can't just go after them, you're not willing to test that whole "lawyer mom" claim, but every second you spend idle stokes the fury smoldering within you.

You need to purge it. You need to take it out on something.

Adrian steps around the corner.

"You."

That one word is enough to make him melt into a puddle.

He's helpless to do anything but stare wide-eyed as you storm over to him. He doesn't even brace himself for the punch, falling to the ground with a sharp groan.

"What the fuck did you do? Huh? What'd you do you little fucking creep?"

You punctuate each question with a kick to his prone form, forcing him to release a litany of moans containing equal parts pain and ecstasy.

This, this is how it's supposed to be; your undivided attention on him, your complete focus on touching him, on making him feel. He's the only one you should want to treat like this, to devote your time, your energy, your passion to.

"Can't keep your fucking nose out of my business, can you?" Another kick. Adrian keens. "Is this what you wanted? Are you happy now, you stupid mutt?"

Yes yes yes.

Another kick, this one landing somewhere on his head. As he feels blood trickle into his eye, Adrian briefly wonders if he's died and gone to heaven.

A solid foot to his stomach tells him he's very much still alive, but with it comes a heady lightness spreading throughout his whole body. Another and he feels like he's floating on the high of your touch, your anger, like he could sink into it and be wrapped up in the warmth of your rage. Another and his vision starts to white out. He's known no greater pleasure in life than surrendering to your furious whims, nothing else has ever felt so right. He wants nothing more than to stay like this forever.

Then the kicking stops.

Adrian instinctively whines at the loss, a high whimper lingering in the back of his throat as his head shoots up to search for you.

You're already stomping away, still muttering quiet curses (though Adrian can't hear them over the blood rushing in his ears) and too far off to catch his pitiful mewling. He doesn't take his eyes off you until you round a corner, and even then his gaze helplessly lingers on the space you had occupied.

He stays laying there long after you leave, blissfully basking in the afterglow of your abuse (he doesn't think his shaking legs would support him for awhile anyway). It isn't until he hears a car start nearby that he forces himself, ever so slowly, to make his way home.

He sneaks in with little trouble, rushing to the bathroom to hide away and admire your handiwork.

Deep, angry bruises are already forming all over his skin, some home to lightly bleeding cuts. Adrian presses on each one as he finds them, committing them to memory as he bites his cheek to keep quiet (it's a losing battle).

Loathe as he is to disfigure your art, he knows you won't have the chance to create more if someone finds out (nobody else could possibly understand the bond you share, so intimate and complex as it is), so he begrudgingly cleans the wounds and patches himself up.

It's a familiar process, almost habit by now, and after the bandages and makeup and careful positioning of clothing, nobody would suspect he'd so much as tripped.

But he knows.

He reminds himself every other second while he's camped outside your house that night, methodically fidgeting with every injury as he works his way across his body. He unconsciously applies extra force against the bruises littering his thighs, unable to tear his gaze from your sleeping face.

He wants to do more (god does he want to), but he can't. He could never.

Not without you.

He'll simply have to settle for torturing himself in the meantime, refreshing your marks so they stay effective, just until you get another chance to do it yourself.

When he sees you at your spot the next day (now carrying a lot of extra cash on the off-chance you decide to empty his pockets), he doesn't even try to stop his tail from wagging.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3

check my pinned post ~

[perfectly-m1saligned]

K!nktober day 5

Following @dreamlandcreations prompt list. Day five: blindfold; forced orgasm. You can find all my stories on my wattpad as well. Toodles!

(NSFW: MDNI!! Reader's discretion is advised)

Simon Riley x reader

(Boyfriend!Simon)

cw: oral (m receiving), sensorial deprivation, unprotected piv, forced breeding

word count: 1680

a/n: a little rushed because I have to go to a big party and can't post from there lol

He had been thinking about the perfect anniversary gift for you for the last three months. Clothes? Basic. Lingerie? Sexy but he would've looked like a creep. Plushies? Your room was already drowning in them. Books? Same things. He spent his lunch breaks checking website after website, yet he couldn't find the perfect gift. He knew he probably shouldn't be rocking his brains over this, but five years was an important milestone, so he thought it deserved a proper symbolic celebration.

A promise ring? Simon imagined a future with you, he was sure he had found his wife from the moment he'd met you, but to ask for your hand in marriage now seemed a bit too rushed. You both still had a lot of things to figure out on your own. A promise ring sounded perfect, a reminder that he would stay by your side and support you as long as you had him, but not something as final as an engagement ring. A simple white gold band, with small sapphires running along the whole circumference, since it was your favourite stone.

You had decided for an intimate dinner at your place, feeling like playing chef for the night, you had spent the whole day perfecting the right sauce to put on the steak, almost burned down your apartment complex when you forgot the truffled carrots in the oven, but the second batch luckily survived. Garlic bread in a cheesy dip for starters, handmade pasta with a plain buttery sauce, then the stake and carrots. You had even handmade the menus, using your fanciest handwriting and tracing every letter with care. Everything was ready, the bread lying in a pretty basket in the middle of the table, a bottle of expensive red wine right next to it. You hadn't exactly bought a gift for the occasion, because what you had in mind for Simon was far more...original.

"Baby!" You threw your arms around his neck when you opened the front door, Simon standing there with his best dress shirt and slacks, a black tie cutting down his broad chest. He carried a small gift bag and a bouquet of wildflowers (you weren't much of a roses girl). "Hey, pretty girl," he chuckled, his voice smooth and warm as he encircled your waist with one strong arm, placing a chaste kiss against your temple. "So you really weren't kidding when you said you would've been the chef tonight, hm? Smells bloody amazing in here."

The two of you had a lovely dinner, talking about your day, the small living room of your flat filled with laughter and the clinking of your glasses as you chatted and drank away. Despite all the food you had cooked, by the time you finished the last course, a pleasant buzz made your head feel lighter. You lounged on the couch, nursing your wine glass between your slim fingers as you watched Simon wash the dishes, sleeves rolled-up, exposing his thick forearms. The sight made you bite down on your bottom lip, anticipation making your body tingle.

Once all the dishes were on the drying rack, Simon made his way back to you on the couch, folding a leg under himself before he sat down. He leaned with his shoulder against the backrest, facing you. "Would you like to see your gift now, love?" He asked, his voice a gentle purr as he reached for the bag on the coffee table. "Now, now," you stopped him, reaching out with your hand, gently guiding his hand, still mid-air, back on his lap. "I appreciate the thought, but I would really like to give you mine first." Simon raised a bushy brow, a puzzled expression etched over his features as he relaxed into the cushions. He fixed his stance, now sitting normally, eyes fixed on you as you got up. "I'll have to take this, thank you." You chirped, bending over to undo the knot of his tie, making it slide off his neck.

You grinned, a mischievous glint in your gaze as you carefully tied back the tie, this time, around his head, covering his eyes. Simon opened his mouth to speak, but you silenced any of his questions with a quick peck on the lips. "It's a big surprise, babe. Can't risk having you ruin it." You swiftly took a few steps back, suppressing a snort when you saw Simon press his lips together, aimlessly moving his head from one side to the other as he awkwardly patted his thighs. You slowly started to peel your dress off, sliding the straps of your dress down your arms, followed by the skimpy little lace thong.

Standing naked, you gingerly made your way back to the couch. "y/n?" Simon called out, sensing your presence as he caught a whiff of your sweet perfume. "Can...can I take this off now?" You shook your head, then, remembering he was blindfolded, you spoke up. "Sorry, not yet." You denied with a sweet voice, leaning forward to place your hands on his thighs, smiling when he involuntarily winced. "Realx, Simon." You commanded, gently coaxing his legs apart. Your knees found the rough wooden floorboards, nimble fingers working the buckle of his belt, consequently pushing down the zipper. Simon cooperated, lifting his hips a bit when you hooked your fingers into the waistband of his slacks, sliding them down with his boxer briefs.

The simple thought of what you were about to do to him had him standing erect, his heavy cock springing free, hitting his abdomen. His tip was oozing with precum, making you lick your lips in anticipation. "So eager already?" You cooed, giggling when his cheeks grew a pretty shade of pink. "P-Please, y/n..." Simon hissed between gritted teeth. "Please what?" You prompted, looking up at his covered eyes, his mouth slightly agape as his breathing picked up. "Touch me...please." He could feel your hand, hovering a breath away from his length, teasing him with the heat radiating off your body. You chuckled, finally answering his pathetic pleas by circling his shaft with your lithe hand, feeling his dick twitch in your hold.

"F- Oh, fuck!" Simon groaned deeply when you wrapped your lips around his rosy tip, slowly lowering your head until he was halfway inside your mouth. A hand wrapped around the edge of the leather couch, the other fisting your soft hair in a makeshift ponytail. "So good...you're so good, baby. Think you can take all of me?" You hummed 'yes', the vibration running along his sensitive length and making him groan again. Coaxed by his gentle guidance, you relaxed your throat until his blonde pubes tickled the tip of your nose. "Fuck...that's right, good girl." He purred.

You slowly started to bob your head up and down, moaning around his fat cock to send delicious vibrations that turned him on even more, making him throb in your mouth. You had to use your hand as well to keep a proper pace, stroking him and alternating it with more circular motions. You looked up at him from your spot on the floor from time to time, enjoying the way his parted lips released ragged breaths and soft moans, the blindfold still resting over his eyes. "y/n...baby, don't stop." He suddenly hissed, his voice harsher, his hand on your head guiding you up and down faster, and you matched it with the strokes of your hand. Soon, Simon's hips stuttered, a low growl rumbling in his chest before your name followed in a string of prayers, hot ropes of cum being shot right down your throat, filling you with the familiar salty taste.

Your lips released him with a wet pop, and you swallowed his cum as you watched him catch his breath. Poor thing, you thought, you weren't done yet. His dick still stood straight and proud, the release you weren't able to clean off still coating his shaft. "Lovie, can I take this-" A strained groan left his lips, breath hitching as you suddenly climbed onto his lap, caging him with a thigh on either side of him. "No, no, y/n, what are you- shit..." Simon hissed, feeling your gummy walls envelop his cock, twitching with another impending load.

You finally freed him of the blindfold, his wide brown eyes meeting yours, looking speechless as you descended all the way, his sensitive tip kissing your cervix. Smirking, you tied his tie around your neck, letting it sit between your breasts, then started to slowly move your hips. "Baby...I'm gonna cum again if you keep it up, I-I..."

"Cum for me, Simon." You whispered, cradling his face in your hands before you placed a kiss on his lips. "Cum inside me, please. It's your gift." Simon's eyes lit up for a moment, but he still seemed sceptic. You deepened the kiss, silencing his doubts as you started to ride him faster, your ass slapping against his muscular thighs, making the loosened belt clank. "B-Baby..." he was begging, blunt nails digging into the fat on your hips, leaving red crescents. "I-I don't think I..."

"Yes you can, Simon," you purred into his ear. "Cum inside me." He took one of your tits into his hand, guiding it to his face before latching his lips onto your erect nub. You moaned, tipping your head back as heat quickly pooled in your belly. "Gonna...'m gonna..." The knot snapped, your walls clenching his cock so tight he couldn't help but release another heavy load deep inside you, both of you moaning out the other's name in your shared orgasm.

You rested your forehead on his shoulder, feeling his dick twitching slightly as he went soft inside of you, your cream mixing with his cum and leaking onto your inner thighs and his lap. Simon was completely spent, breath ragged as he leaned against the backrest of the couch. You peppered a few tender kisses over the side of his neck, a hand rubbing his chest as you both came back to your senses. "That was...well, definitely original. You surely caught me off guard, lovie." You chuckled, raising your eyes back on his flushed face, grinning.

"Can I open my present now?" 

•This is an original work of fiction, please do not translate or share on this or any other platforms without credit•

[aerkame]

Hi this is the person who had a lot of finfolk Howdy feelings. This turned into a wall of text so i completely understand if you decide not to post it

So this might be a bit of a ramble, and I don’t know much about finfolk lore. So I apologize if something doesn’t line up with the original lore, or I accidentally say something that conflicts with something you’ve previously mentioned.

Im imagining that Reader is a puppet from the port town on the mainland—the one that the neighbors commonly visit.

The mortal most likely meets Howdy for the first time during one of his trips to his restaurant. They had taken to going there on their lunch break and soon become a regular. Howdy is probably going by an alias and has shifted into another, smaller form (by his standards. he still towers over Reader) Still, he's outgoing by nature, and strikes up a conversation with the mortal.

They both find that they enjoy each other's company. Sometimes they can't talk for too long (the restaurant is busy. the mortal's work keeps them late. Howdy leaves for Home) but when they do meet, they find that time flies by.

Reader does take note of how he (very stylishly) keeps his arms and hands covered and how he's averse to touch. They assume it's a sensory thing.

Eventually, Reader opens up about their plans for their future. Specifically about their wanderlust. They talk about all the places they want to travel to-- major coastal cities, island nations-- places that, if they went, he could follow.

But, during another visit, Reader expands their list - backpacking through the country, hiking in the mountains, riding camels in the desert. And Howdy finds himself feeling very... possessive.

The more Howdy speaks to Reader, the more Reader opens up, and with that they begin to vent. They start to talk about an annoying thing their friend did, workplace drama, family gossip...

(this can be interpreted in two ways.

Either Howdy hears these minor annoyances and gossip, and builds them up into signs of a dangerous situation. Further justifying his possessiveness over Reader.

OR Reader really isn't in a good place on the mainland, but they just brush off any abuse like it's nbd. Meaning they're also not likely to catch onto any red flags Someone Else might be raising)

Whenever Howdy returns Home he gives updates on news from the mainland. That news can span from anything from major world events, any possible treats to them and Home, to simple gossip.

The neighbors start to notice Reader coming up often in these little updates. He mentions them more and more with each visit. And eventually the neighbors' eyes start to drift towards Wally.

Howdy was starting to sound like Eddie after he met Frank.

Maybe it was time to have a chat with Home...

Wonderlust is my new favorite word, next to sublime. Also I wanted to write only the aftermath of the neighbors asking Home for permission because I am already writing an x Howdy and I don't want to ruin that sweet sweet angst/romance. >.>

TW: Mentions plans of kidnapping and drugging, anything in Finfolk nature is a TW really.

It was no secret to everyone at this point that Howdy had eyes for you. The only problem was that you lived on the mainland and you were making plans to leave soon. Sure, it would be easy to just track you down again, but it would be better to have things done more quickly to attract less attention on things. It's hard having to keep track of witnesses and making mind-altering potions. Plus, they hate having to go through all the effort of pretending to be police or other government officials.

The rest of the neighbors seemed fine with you in all honestly. Having met you in person themselves in one form or another, they think you'd be a fine addition to their little island. All they needed was the approval of Home.

But of course, it wasn't difficult at all to get Home's approval. He already knew this entire time having watched you from his crystal baptismal font as the water kept rippling from place to place looking for your location. He's sure your adventurous nature would love what the peninsula and it's waters had to offer. They had surrounding reefs, caverns filled with crystals, and many more smaller islands nearby, all full of colorful creatures that don't exist on the mainland or anywhere else.

Now it was just a matter of getting you back home that needed to be taken care of. One of the neighbors could simply kidnap you in the dead of night, but you having a late-night job made things complicated. Either Howdy would need to invite you somewhere isolated where no one would be to do this or they would have to play things out slowly and wait for an opportunity.

No one wanted to wait however, from what things sounded like, things weren't exactly safe back at your own home and it seemed to be getting worse over time.

So, Howdy returned back onto the mainland with Sally and Frank.

Frank did his usual routine of shifting into a new person and taking on the persona of a police officer (Who would of thought he made for a pretty good cop huh?) and Sally went in with the disguise of a sweet florist that worked just down the street from where you lived. No one would even bat an eye at what took place here.

Howdy or Sally may or may not have had involvement in the death of the person that hurt you…oh well, it's not like anyone would remember that guy anyways! Literally. Not even you would remember.

Howdy was the only one to go in without a disguise, or at least staying in the form you knew him as. He had invited you to his restaurant as a treat, as a date really. You happily accepted.

It was so nice, so peaceful, and you were so easily tricked.

All it took was just a single touch to your hand and everything started to feel numb as your body gave out under you. With bare hands, Howdy carried you to the back of the restaurant to make a B-line for the back door. Not a single customer batted an eye, and not one employee or waitress gave the scene a second thought.

You awoke to bright rays of sunlight on your face. Sitting up, you found yourself in what had to be the softest and largest bed you've ever been in. Everything still felt so...tingly? Numb? What happened?

"Ah, I'm so glad you're awake minnow!"

I wanted to mention that the waitresses and employees at Howdy's seafood restaurant are cute remora dogs and shark dogs. Most of the customers tend to be sea-dwelling creatures like sirens, mermaids, etc.

[slveepyscwrs]

soukoku chuuya x dazai angst blurb (ed but not ed sheeran edition)

this is my first blurb post (and my first bsd post in general) mainly because i'm too lazy to make this an actual fic (at least for now).

as always, if you want to request any specific scenarios, prompts, or whatever for me to write about, feel free to drop an ask! (seriously, i need more of those...)

i was born hungry

(takes place in highschool AU)

-chuuya was recently kicked out of his flat, now he's living on the street.

-of course he won't tell anyone at school, though. that would make him weak.

-no one really gives a shit. who would want to come close to the kid who doesn't hesitate to beat people up the minute he gets pissed off?

-dazai's the person who pisses him off most. he's even more unstable than himself, and yet he's the one who people seem attracted to.

-dazai's the last person he wants to tell this to, even though he's the only one who noticed. he would never hear the end of it... how apparently he's too dumb to even keep a house down.

-and so, he distances himself from him. they used to talk sometimes, but now he's cut him off as much as he possibly can.

-without this annoying orange head in his life, dazai feels so empty... he wants to reconnect with him, whatever that means, but how?

-after some time, chuuya realises just how utterly he's broken dazai.

-the guilt begins eating away at him, literally.

-maybe if he was more desirable, he wouldn't be so alone. he begins convincing himself he's fat, and won't achieve this desirability until he loses weight.

-besides, the lightheadedness from not eating distracts him from his guilt about what he did to dazai.

-he skips lunch break to hide out in the classroom, or just exit school to walk around a bit.

-eventually, though, he becomes weaker and weaker... classmates start to turn head at the visible bones, and soon even the mildest of physical activity is too much for him.

-and yet, chuuya still hates food more than his awareness of his deteriorating state. all he sees when he looks at food are cal0ries.

-dazai watches as chuuya gets weaker and weaker, and even though chuuya runs away from him even more than usual, he decides that he can't just stand by and watch the only person he can be himself with fade away.

-unfortunately, it's too late.

-one day when dazai is walking home from school, he spots chuuya unconscious and collapsed on the pavement in an alleyway.

-picking up that bony, fragile, cold body in his arms... dazai can't be that same sassy, calm, and collected boy anymore. he can't help but burst into tears seeing one of the strongest people he knows break down completely.

-dazai's just a kid. he feels utterly helpless, and has no clue what to do.

-he takes him back to his home, and tucks Chuuya in warm blankets and a bed, something he hasn't felt in god knows how long.

-over and over again, he whispers pleadingly in his ear:

-"i can't lose you, please... i'm the one who's supposed to leave this world first, not you."

-chuuya wakes up to something he never imagined in a million years: dazai, his worst enemy, crying and begging for him to wake up.

-his first reaction: "dazai, what the fuck has gotten into you?"

-he's still trying to seem badass, but his voice is obviously holding back tears– he's the one who brought out daze's repressed emotions against his will.

-as soon as his voice reaches dazai's ears, within a split second, dazai pulls him into a tight hug.

-feeling a loving embrace... chuuya hasn't felt that in... his whole life, come to think about it.

-the reality of what his eating disorder has done to him is too much to bear, and chuuya breaks down and comes clean: being kicked out, wanting to lose weight, everything.

-"am i really that annoying, that you won't even come to me when you're literally dying? i care about you, dumbass."

-"i don't deserve care. i'm too much of a goddamn burden..."

-dazai knew that chuuya didn't always feel the best about himself, but hearing him call himself a burden breaks his heart.

-"i'm the burden of us two. anyways, if you don't deserve care, then what about love?"

-he can't believe he's admitting this, but maybe it's the only way to snap chuuya back to the fact that dazai wants him in this world more than anyone else...

-"pfft. you love me?"

-"i'm dead serious. so dead serious that i won't even ask you to do a double su!c!de with me."

-"if you'd go out of you stupid way to do this... then fine, i love you too, you fucking nosy mackerel."

-just a few days before, chuuya never would have imagined loving dazai, of all people. however, after pushing him away... maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

-if that was true, now that dazai had come back to him, he wasn't going to let him go again.

-suddenly, dazai disappears, and returns just as quickly with some snacks chuuya loves.

-"that's way too many fucking cal0ries."

-"unless you want to be six feet under in about a week, you need to eat this."

-"but-"

-"i'm not letting you leave me. food isn't about cal0ries... it's about the joy it brings you."

-believing his words, chuuya eats the snacks without thinking about weight for once... and dazai couldn't be prouder.

-"you don't mind how annoying my eating habits are? it's not like it's going to go away just because i ate this one time."

-"i know, chuchu. and i don't' care how long it takes. one day, i'm going to bring back the old you... the one that i grew to love in the first place."

-before chuuya can respond, dazai steals his first kiss in a sloppy peck.

-and as chuuya stares in dazai's determined eyes with a bewildered yet amazed look, he realises that maybe there is hope.

-dazai might be the embodiment of darkness, but just for chuuya, he will bring the light.

[the-tenth-arcanum]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

(lys sorry I re-liked your post a dozen times I was trying to keep it on top of my 2k liked posts otherwise I would never see it again. and then I got stuck on the very first question and I kept putting this off. but I'm doing this now! everybody clap)

tagged: @malinaa

tagging: @centurieslove | @fairyhagmother | @flowersandfashion | @tuttocenere | @herstarlight |

@stormsouls | @mayapleiades | @courtjestermerlin | @godmerlin

three non romantic duos:

Sam & Frodo! Who did it like them! "Don't go where I can't follow!" "Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam"! And other such hits. Crazy. To be honest there's a few non romantic duos from LOTR that I could pick but I love Sam Gamgee to death so I'm going with these two. Three hurrahs for borderline homoerotic devotion

2. Jen & Jack (Dawson's Creek). Dating myself here but I was obsessed with this teen drama as a teen. I've not really rewatched it since then because I'm afraid it will not live up to my nostalgic memories (though to be fair it started sucking so badly around S5 that I dropped it at the time and only tuned back in for the last episode lol). Anyway is there anything more beautiful than the friendship between a gay guy and his fag hag bestie? They were the cutest I love them both so much. I love how this show was so consistent in the way it portrayed their friendship. they were ride or die. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

3. Gaius & Merlin (lol). Okay I agonised over the last one but I couldn’t think of a better duo (sorry women 😔). I'm sure there are others I can't remember right now, but I do love them to be honest so why not them. I might have mentioned it before on my side blog but their relationship is probably my favourite in the show. I like the Chosen Family trope, okay? And I love that their relationship was important, in the show. They care so much about each other and it comes up time and time again. And their dynamic is fascinating, they're so similar in some ways and completely different in others. Immovable object vs unstoppable force. Thick as thieves, a pair of liars. As I once said—they lie so much, to other people, to themselves and to each other. And I think that's beautiful. Grey morality ❤

a ship that might surprise others: can't think of any tbh. I'm sure there are fics I've read that might surprise others, but only because I do check out a bit of everything if the premise sounds interesting enough to me, even with ships that are a bit out there. I don't really count that as shipping though.

last song: 80s medley I need to learn for my choir

last film: I don't really watch films anymore tbh 😭 I think the last one was when my aunt came to visit me last month—How Do You Know, which she chose because Paul Rudd was in it and it's probably the only reason to ever watch this film.

currently reading: Bliss & Blunder!! "A modern reworking of Arthurian legend". Or, the one where King Arthur is a tech bro. I'm enjoying it actually! (Nell if you're reading this I'll post some thoughts soon.ish. but I'm not even halfway through)

currently watching: nothing? I started Wolf Hall but I've watched less than half an episode over three lunch breaks and then I gave up for now because I'm meant to read a book and I can only focus on one (1) thing at the time apparently. but I might resume watching it at some point

currently consuming: nothing. hashtag minimalism

currently craving: local close friends so we can go out for a coffee and a chat 😔

[morganaspendragonss]

hello! just saw "FIC REQUESTS OPEN" and I thought I will try :D if you are not interested  - please just ignore this ask :)  So, I saw the gif set when Carlos says he will grab the food and TK says he isnt hungry. So since TK went straight to the firehouse it means he didint eat anything, probably since the previous day. So what about little angsty moment, what if TK faints after he assures Carlos he's fine? Adrenaline crash, fatigue, dehydration etc extra points if they find any bruises on TK's torso ( my headcanon is that he hit himself during the turbulence, he just can't feel the pain because of the adrenaline :D ). But as I've written before, if you don't have the time, if you don't feel like it, if you don't like the idea, just ignore it :D Have a great day, hope you're well!

hello! you're probably not still here but here's your fic! sorry it took me so long lol ao3 | 921 words | not everything after the plane crash is as okay as it seems also for @anyfandomdarkbingo - dehydration

“I’m okay, babe, I promise. I wasn’t hurt.”

Carlos runs his gaze over TK again, his heart jumping once more at the bloodstains covering his t-shirt. It’s one thing being told it’s not TK’s, and a whole other thing convincing himself that it’s true. TK isn’t the type of person to come out of a plane crash unscathed. 

He bites back the are you sure? threatening to break free and pulls TK into another fierce hug, clutching the back of his jacket in his fists. There are more I’m okays whispered into his shoulder, but they only make Carlos hold on tighter, needing the (living, breathing) proof that this is real. 

But the acrid stench of smoke and engine fuel lingers in the air and TK’s hands are warm on his face as he pulls away, and Carlos’s breath shudders as relieved sobs build in his throat. 

“What…” he starts, but pauses, his gaze flitting back to the ambulance and the plane beyond it. It doesn’t look too bad from this angle, the exploded engine and blown out window hidden on the other side, but Carlos can’t forget watching as it had tilted dangerously in the air, black smoke forming an ominous cloud.

If TK had been anywhere near that window…

“How close were you?” he asks instead. “The window… How close?”

TK breaks eye contact for a moment, wincing, and Carlos almost knows the answer before he speaks. “It was our aisle,” he admits. “The woman in the ambulance…she was in the window seat next to me and Dad.”

Carlos looks again at the blood on TK’s shirt, too much to mean anything good, and he’d seen the state of the woman before she’d been loaded into the ambulance. It so easily could have been him lying there, and then who would have done the saving? TK could have died, and it was Carlos who had bought that ticket, Carlos who had put him on that plane.

“Hey, baby. Carlos, hey.”

TK’s voice breaks him out of his spiral and Carlos looks at him through suddenly blurry eyes. Thumbs swipe across his cheeks and TK smiles, even though Carlos can’t comprehend how that’s even possible for him right now.

“I’m here, baby,” TK continues. “We’re all here. Nobody died. Can we go get some food now?”

A startled laugh breaks free and Carlos nods, then kisses TK once more. He’s glad TK’s hungry; his last full meal had been the post-softball lunch Carlos had dragged him too, and unless they’d grabbed something before it all went to shit, he hadn’t eaten since, except the snacks as they set up for the party last night. Carlos’s mother would have his head if she found out.

“Yeah, of course,” he says, wiping his eyes dry. “Let’s go.”

They begin to head over to where Owen is waiting for them and Carlos’s heart is starting to calm, anxiety loosening its hold on him as he realises – yes, this is real. TK is okay, and they’re going to go home and Carlos isn’t going to let him out of his sight for at least the next week.

And then, TK stumbles.

He apologises and tries to laugh it off, but when Carlos looks at his boyfriend, TK has gone alarmingly pale and there’s a clamminess to his hands that corresponds to the sheen of sweat across his forehead.

“Babe?” he asks. TK turns to him but stumbles again, and Carlos has to grab onto his shoulders to stop him from falling. “Okay, I think you should sit down.” He looks over and finds that Owen has already flagged down an airport medic, so he focuses all his attention on TK, who is wavering in place but still trying to walk.

“I’m fine,” TK says again, and this time Carlos knows it’s not true. “Seriously Carlos, I– Woah.” He stumbles and squints, a hand going to his chest as he starts to pant. “Maybe you’re…right. I… I don’t…”

He looks up at Carlos, eyes going wide before they roll back in his head and Carlos has to support him to the ground.

“TK?” he calls, but TK is out for the count and he’s relieved when the medic arrives beside them. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” she asks, so Carlos does, quickly running her through everything since finding TK on the tarmac. She hums and reaches to pinch the back of TK’s hand, then attaches a blood pressure cuff to his arm.

“His blood pressure is too low,” she confirms when the machine beeps. She packs it away then sits back on her heels, looking over at Carlos. “When was the last time he ate?”

A flush rises on his cheeks and Carlos can’t meet her eyes as he admits, “Yesterday.”

“I thought so.” She rifles through her bag and then there’s something being pressed into Carlos’s hands; he looks down to find himself holding a small packet of saltines and a bottle of water. “He’s just dehydrated and hungry,” the medic explains. “He’ll come around in a minute.”

As if on cue, TK groans and squints against the harsh midday sun. Carlos helps him into a sitting position and the medics backs off, though she hovers close by just in case.

“I’m fine,” TK grumbles before Carlos can even say anything, though he must still feel pretty awful judging by the look on his face.

Carlos just laughs and hands him the water and crackers. “Have those, and then we’ll see about that.”

[arkiwii]

Thoughts on Kafka, her relationship with Silence, and analysing it in the context of Lonetrail stuff?

My thoughts on Kafka? Simple. [rolls my head over my keyboard]

I LOVE Kafka and she's an amazing character who is ABSOLUTELY underappreciated. I already had so so so much thoughts about her, and with her operator record now, I have EVEN MORE of them because it reveals SO MUCH about her character and how she met Silence. I'm so feral

WHAT I THINK ABOUT HER she's an absolute adorable young woman who CARES a lot. her files talks about how she lived in the Columbian grey zone and was involved in gang and criminality to make a living, as she is an orphan, and an infected. It caused her to adopt a "mask", the one we can see in Mansfield Break, a very impish, maybe bad intentioned girl, one that you can't trust. This was her way to stay safe, and it suceeded! People were afraid of her, avoided her, so this way, she was able to mind her own business and stay far from anything bad happening.

But, well, it's just a mask! She's truly caring, deep inside. In her operator record, we can see that she stole Silence's lunch, but had slided a coin to her to pay her back, and even more, it wasn't even for herself, because she gave the snack to a homeless boy. It already shows that she's very altruistic and watches the wellbeing of those youngers than her.

And the fact she enjoys plants! Being a gardener means a lot of patience, having to take care of living beings, to carefully watch them... She's truly very sweet

Her relationship with Silence particularly made me melt. Silence had shown a care for Kafka that she never had before from a complete stranger. It made Kafka realize that Silence might be a bit naive, she's a good person, and someone who will do great things. Kafka accepted to help her because she just decided Silence was a good person

Kafka's files made me cry for real I can't explain. Silence had dragged her in Rhodes Island, and while Kafka wasn't really wishing to stay here, she ended up accepting. And it helped Kafka to grow outside of the toxic environment that was Columbia's streets. She started to show herself, her true self, a genuine one, someone who cares, and started to truly smile. The way she looks after the children in Rhodes Island, that she became a good friend of Perfumer and hangs out at her garden... I'm just so moved by how she changed and how she grew up. And now that Silence doesn't need to look after her, the roles changed, and it's Kafka who looks after Silence.

I'm disappointed Kafka didn't appear in Lone Trail, but I always imagined Kafka being a really supportive character to Silence. Post-Lone Trail, Silence is the executive advisor of Control, but also Rhine Lab's representative of the Scientifical Ethics Committee. And it's seriously pressuring for her, she mentions it often in her voice lines, this new life is one she's uncomfortable with, but one she knows she must follow. Kafka would be an amazing emotional help, a way to remember Silence that what she does had saved her life, and many other people's - it's thanks to Silence that Anthony was out of prison and safe. It's thanks to Silence that Robin joined Rhodes Island and can get help for her dad. It's thanks to Silence that Ifrit is still alive, and can enjoy a normal life outside of a laboratory. Kafka is here to remind her this, that what Silence does is far from useless, that she can only save more lives. And Kafka is also here to distract her and be goofy when Silence needs to change her ideas from work!

Anyway, Kafka, big thumbs up. Really a big goofy baby. I WANT to see her again in the game, please drop Mansfield's Break 2 Hypergryph

[karliahs]

oversharing hours once again

i can't stop thinking about my teenage self lately. it's strange when on some level i realise i have been dwelling on and writing about her for years, just without consciously allowing myself to recognise that that's what i was doing. she is arguably the main subject of my work, this unhelpable girl.

at the end of rescue i put in the end notes that if anyone had related to the experiences depicted then i was glad they were still here. someone left a comment saying that had hit them very hard, and that they didn't know what had brought me to a place where i could offer such kindness and grace to strangers, but they were glad i was here too.

i think about that a lot, that question of what brought me here, and the answer is her. it's the me from the five years i hardly remember. it is far too late to offer her compassion. my therapist points out that the compassion i offer my current self is helping her, and i know what they mean.

but i think what i mean is that it's too late to help her before those experiences become an indelible part of her. rereading my own works, i see an urgency there to get across the thing i felt was missing in bnha's depiction of bullying: that those experiences fundamentally change who you are. anything you try to do post-hoc is too late.

there was a period of my life in which i was bullied at home by a sibling and at school by peers. i had no language with which to express what was happening to me, internally and externally. that time is over, but it stays with me.

it's a huge part of who i am, in a lot of ways. there are specific cruelties, such as my sister asking my friends to say bad things about me when i left a room so that she could repeat them back to me later and prove that everyone hated me as much as she did, that leave very obvious marks: my paranoia that my friends secretly dislike me. other things are more sideways: i spent lunch breaks hiding in the library, and it's easy to draw a line from there to my english degrees, my work in libraries, my desire to read and to write.

so that's the answer. i try to infuse my work with compassion for young people because for a time i was a young person living without compassion. i fill my work with adults who try to help because no adult succeeded in helping me.

on some level it's a good thing to know. it provides meaning and purpose, it heals something in me when people respond to my work stating that they felt that compassion and that it helped them.

on another level, i am haunted by that girl. i am watching things happen to her in my memory that i know she will never really get free of. i want to reach across the years and give her names for the reasons she is ostracized and the reasons she doesn't know how to talk about it. i want to shake every adult in her life, even though i understand intellectually why they can't see or understand what is happening. i want to help her, and all i can do instead is write stories about kinder worlds than the one i lived in

[pinksilvace]

I really gotta know honest question, why do you like Cars 2 so much? I thought the B plot was kinda interesting but I didn't like Mater, which is rough when he's the main character of the movie

OOOOH OH MAN I'm going to try to make this succinct because there's SO MUCH I could talk about here and I don't want to spend three hours writing this post so here goes.

(EDIT: it wasn't three hours but it's still long)

As an important bit of context, you should know that there was a collection of months last year during which my friends and I would get together for lunches on Sundays and spend a solid two hours talking about Cars lore, and so much of it is introduced in Cars 2.

It's also important to note that I've always liked Mater as a character. I think he foils Lightning really beautifully and that their friendship is extremely natural.

Film Structure

The pacing is decent, the dialogue feels in-character, and there is a clear three act structure. I'd seen enough anti-Cars 2 propaganda to think that it was, perhaps, just a bad film I liked, but it's honestly pretty well made.

I like that the main conflict is about Mater and Lightning mending their relationship and the sub-conflict is about terrorism. Others would call that a plot hole. I think it's interesting. There's something to be said about how the personal scope of the Cars films (because all three of them are very focused on POV) reflects how different major events in our lives take on different meanings.

If the movie was about Finn, it would have a different climax; it would fully be a spy movie. Controversial take, but I don't think Cars 2 is a spy movie; it's a movie that happens to have spy antics. At no point, when faced with an alternative, does Mater think about giving up everything he has to live the spy life.

I also really like that the break-up between him and Lightning feels extremely mature. There's no big fight; Lightning yells at him, as he is wont to do (because he's still a developing character in this!!!! wahoo!!!) and Mater's response is essentially to say, "Okay, this isn't working. I'm being a distraction. I'm going to go home, we can both cool down, and I can give you a proper apology there, and in the meantime, I hope you know I really am sorry." Honestly, it's refreshing.

Funny Factor

I laugh an EMBARRASSING amount whenever I watch this movie. There's always something I never noticed before. The landmarks??? The car puns??? The absurdity of it all??? THIS SCENE???

Maybe it's because some parts of this film have such a serious tone, but my god, there are few experiences as wonderful as watching Cars 2 with a group of friends.

Questions raised about the Cars universe

I could not possibly address them all, but here's a selection of my favorites.

The spy cars can't hold weapons; instead, those weapons are built into the cars themselves. Does that make them body mods? Is Finn McMissile a cyborg by our common understanding of that term?

If so, DID MATER RECEIVE NON-CONSENTUAL BODY MODIFICATIONS???

The existence of airplane security screenings as presented implies that 9/11 took place in the Cars universe.

The pope-mobile rides in a pope-mobile...mobile?

We get more hints about what cars were like prior to the invention of cars, and they all just look like old cars, but I must wonder: did they evolve from wagons?

We see Mater & co travel in planes, trains, and via boat, all of which are sentient. In the original Cars, the only transport option we see is trucks like Mack, which run with the same transport logic as the cars. Are the planes relegated only to certain portions of society? Are the trains relegated only to their tracks? Do the boats live with the sort of infrastructure familiar to us (the audience) and the cars, or do they have entirely different cultural systems? Must they always return to the docks? Are there baby boats? Are they smaller? Do they grow up and thus become different models? I'm cutting this one off here because I know from experience that this line of questioning can go on forever

We hear from Finn's associate that Finn saved him from being impounded, thus confirming a new form of death in the Cars universe. One can assume that some cars break down naturally over time, which parallels both real cars and human beings, and Rod Redline is blown up (another recognizable form of death), but what would impounding be? Execution? Euthanasia? Anyway, I'll just leave this here:

Disability

It's really not hard to say that Cars 2 is a film centered around disability in both of its conflicts. This point connects to each of the other sections above in a lot of ways, but again, I think this is a factor that makes the film very interesting from an objective standpoint. It's not a common thing to see.

The main conflict - that between Lightning and Mater - stems from Mater's behavior and how uncomfortable Lightning is with Mater unabashedly being himself. Now, Mater is very autistic-coded. It's especially prominent when you remember he's supposed to be 49 in the first film (54 in Cars 2) and has bonded in a very particular way with each of the cars in Radiator Springs, all of which act as a very strong support network for one another and especially for Mater, who has no conflicts with any of them despite the "eccentricities" that annoy Lightning.

Maybe folks are bothered by the fact that Mater doesn't have an arc in Cars 2 (or at least not a strong one), but that's because conflict 1's arc doesn't belong to Mater. It belongs to Lightning. The whole point is that Mater doesn't have to change for people to like him the way he is, so much so that Finn assumes he's constantly putting on an act by being himself. It's a bit heartbreaking, to be honest. It also flies over a lot of the audiences' heads; I think many people think Mater was made annoying on accident, but I'm not so sure.

The second focus on disability is a lot weirder and raises a LOT more questions and is almost unquestionably negative representation and is STILL FASCINATING to me. Conflict 2, the spy plot, focuses on "lemons" as the bad guys. They're cars that have been pushed aside by society because they're lower-functioning than the rest. Their parts break more often. They can't drive as far. You know.

So, what do these disabled cars do? They band together and decide to start killing the world's greatest athletes AND make a plot to make electric energy look bad because they all happen to be oil barons. Okay! Wild! Not great! Surely, the "underdog elite" theme hasn't been underlying conspiracies for forever, thus adding a hint of antisemitism to the ableism! Cool! Why? (it's because people are used to hating people in these categories and that makes them an easier enemy for the audience. or something. the writers probably just didn't think this through. it's also easy to miss, seeing as they're. y'know. cars.)

In a way, it's good this is the subplot, since the directors could avoid actually addressing this group and the causes of their motivations by making it Finn & co's business and not Mater's. Even so, it's not a route that anybody would have expected this movie to take, and it's even rarer to see disability represented on both sides of a conflict instead of just one. Imagine if Cars 2 had capitalized just slightly more on Mater's friendly connections with lemons. Would a well-thought out plot line surrounding this concept fit the Cars universe? Probably not, since it's established itself to be about racing, but man oh man do I think about it.

TLDR

One can say that Cars 2 is a bad film if they like, but it can never be said that Cars 2 is a bad piece of art, because boy howdy, it sure provides a lot to talk about.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Current Tag Game

I've been tagged by quite a few people now (thank you @twig-tea @colourme-feral @slayerkitty and @telomeke!) and in the past I've been too busy to complete these kinds of things but even though I'm still busy now, I figured I ought to do it this time...and if I don't do it now it won't get done. So, I'ma do it in 15 mins. Let's go!

Current time: 09:49

Current activity: I've just returned to my hotel room after having had breakfast. Hash Browns and Baked Beans ftw!! (<- How to tell someone you're British without telling them you're British 😂).

Currently thinking about: All the things that need to be done today - I'm away for work and I need to prep some stuff before leaving the hotel to go pick up some food for lunch because I won't have time to pop out later, and then I have to go to the location for today's work event and I basically won't stop until after it finishes tonight at 21:30 ish. (And somehow squeeze in Dangerous Romance somewhere there...maybe during my dinner break...or maybe I'll have to wait until afterwards when I'm back in the hotel again...but the internet is patchy at best - so if you don't hear me posting about it, it's because I won't be watching it until tomorrow evening 😭)

(Come on Lin, you gotta write faster!)

Current favourite song: This is so hard to pick just one! Okay, Until Then by Tilly Birds. I've known of the band since the Bad Buddy days but never really listened to their albums until Only Friends started airing and I discovered I'm Not Boring, You're Just Bored which made me go to their albums and now I'm a fan of more of their work.

Currently reading: I've said it before but I basically live in the Bad Buddy fandom on ao3. All other books are collecting dust on my bedside table, unread and unloved this whole year 😥

Currently watching: Not much actually since a lot finished airing recently. So, Dangerous Romance, Kiseki Dear to Me and You Are Mine. I've been waiting on english subs for the final episode of Love in Translation but it's been so long I might not bother anymore. And I paused I Feel You Linger in the Air before ep 9 and I'm waiting until the last ep has aired before I go back to it. I need to know if it's going to have a happy ending before I continue because it was SO beautiful but also SO heartbreaking and I was just scared all the time for the characters (someone tell me if it ends happily for all our couples!).

Special sub-heading:

Currently NOT watching and Sad About It So I've Had To Block The Tags: Shadow the series, My Gangster Oppa, and I Cannot Reach You (and maybe a few others I can't remember - I might not be able to watch Red Peafowl for the same reason) - all mainly because they're on platforms I don't subscribe to.

Current favourite character: I think Chen Yi and Ai Di (the Taiwanese Pat and Pran basically) - the one who realises his feelings late and goes ALL IN and the the other who has pined FOR YEARS and can't quite believe he finally gets to HAVE HIS DREAM. They own my whole heart.

Current WIP: My Thai Communal Wardrobe Advent Giveaway! Come request for a post about an item of clothing that has appeared in two or more shows to be dedicated to yourself or to someone else. I've only had about 10 requests so far - and I've already found about FIVE more, so the list I have currently stands at 50+!! There are plenty to go around 😁 Ask for more than one as well if you want.

Tagging a few who appeared in my recent notifications (and apologies if you've already been tagged, have already done it, or aren't interested!): @dimplesandfierceeyes @hsfavoriteworlds @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @quodekash and @aprilblossomgirl

[arrieebooks]

Precious Weapon (4)

Pairing : Lloyd Hansen x F!OC (Elle) x Sierra Six.

Summary : Six discusses with her about Lloyd. Her very first mission. She disobeys Lloyd's orders and they get into a fight that leads into something else.

Warnings : Lloyd being a rough trainer. Explosions. Injury. Cursing. Mentions of detailed murder. Gore. So much angst. Fighting. Really rough smut. Pain kink. Oral smut. Fingering. Blood kink. Dirty talk. Pure filth at the end. Vague voyeurism. Fluff and comfort.

Word Count : 16.8k words.

Author's note : heyy! I was writing this while also editing chapter 3 during my vacation so that's why I'm posting this part in less than two weeks of the previous chapter. I personally liked this chapter, mostly because there was smut in it and I like writing smut, somehow. Anyhow, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did while writing it!

***

Elle absolutely hates Lloyd's guts with everything in her. 

She wants to kill him so badly if she could. 

He is the worst trainer ever for her.

He's rough. Harsh. Inconsiderate. Always yelling at her. Tiring her out all day. Making her wounded all the time even though it's usually her fault because she was clumsy and he knows she heals in less than seconds but still, he could've at least been a little bit fragile of her. 

It's been one full week of training. Thankfully. 

She's so fucking tired. She hasn't had a second to even rest the whole week. They train all day and only take breaks during breakfast, lunch and dinner. That's it. After that, they train again and again until it's late and it's time for bed. 

Even Six is tired of watching them train all day from the gym's bench. Lloyd doesn't seem to even be tired. He could do that all day and he did. He only let Six train her for one day. He trained her even better than Lloyd since his training was different from him but he's way softer with her. That's the problem. 

He mostly trains her to fight a lot without her powers. She has enhanced strength but didn't know how to use it at all so he taught her. He made her punch a lot of solid objects and she bled a lot. He taught her a little martial arts but he doubts that she needs any of that when she could punch someone and they'd immediately pass out from how strong her punch is. 

He likes that she's strong. That her body could withstand any pain. He doesn't have to hold back with her, not a single bit because he knows she can take it. He can do whatever he wants with her. In which he succeeded. 

With her powers, it's way easier. She's used it her whole life so she knows it well and all the spells she made are in her head already — she doesn't need a stupid spell book. Her reflexes are good, too. She can even catch a bullet or a knife or any weapon thrown at her with her powers. Or with her bare hands if she's lucky enough to catch them in time. 

Today, she can finally relax. Even just for a second. Because today's her first mission. She's a little nervous. Lloyd and Six have given her little hints on what CIA missions would be like. But they left out all the bad and important details, of course.

She's just waiting for Lloyd to tell her about her mission now. He's been on the first floor of the penthouse for hours now, talking to Denny and handling everything. 

Six is right beside her, as always. They're chilling on the couch of the living room, letting the TV on as it plays a movie that she's currently focused on. But he's not.

He's focused on her, only. As always. He'll never get tired of watching her. 

This whole week, they barely touched each other. Only a few kisses here and there but she's been sleeping in her own room because Lloyd has been watching them like a hawk. He even stays up late until she falls asleep in her own room.

He's doing it on purpose so they don't even try to fuck. At all. He didn't say anything about it in particular but he just kept saying that she can't have any "distractions" and they both fully knew what that meant. Six knew it better than she did. 

She just thinks that it's because he cares so much for the mission and for his weapon and that he can't let her get even a tiny bit distracted. 

But Six knows the real reason why — Lloyd wants her too. But he can't let himself have her so he doesn't want anyone else to have her, even Six, the only man he's ever tolerated enough to not kill him. He respects him, too.

"This movie is boring." Elle remarks, glancing at him with a small pout on her lips. Her head is leaned on his shoulder as his hand is around her shoulder. They're comfy and getting cozy now. 

Six chuckles. "You said you wanted to watch it." He reminds her.

She shakes her head. "Not really. I just wanted a distraction from the anxious anticipation of Lloyd's big announcement for my mission. It's been hours."

"He'll be out soon." he assures her.

"That's what you said an hour ago." she reminds him.

He sighs. "I know. I'm sorry. If we go downstairs right now, he'll just yell at us again." 

She breaks into a soft giggle. "Yeah, that seems to be what he does these days. Especially to me. I think he's too tense. He needs to relax." 

Six furrows his eyebrows. "How?" 

Elle shrugs, her fingers toying with his thick fingers. "I don't know. Maybe he needs someone for himself. Someone to lick his wounds and help him calm down. Someone patient enough, of course. But not like a girlfriend, I know he doesn't do that." she says. 

He hums teasingly, moving his mouth closer to her ears. "Sounds like someone I know well." 

She chuckles, feeling ticklish. "Absolutely not. He hates me." 

Six frowns. "No, he doesn't. He's just pretending to." he says, flatly.

Elle lifts her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? But why?" she asks. 

"It's easier that way for him." he slowly says, "You know, because he doesn't want to jeopardize the mission if he gets distracted by…you." 

She scoffs. "You mean, by fucking me?"

"Yeah." 

She grimaces in disbelief. "No. No, that's not—he wants to fuck me? I mean I remembered our night at the bar but that ended already. I thought that he only wanted me that night. Not until now. Because he doesn't do long term shit. He told me." 

"You don't feel the same?" 

"No. I don't feel attracted to him anymore since that night." 

Six straightens up, looking behind him to check the foyer before his eyes meet hers again. He gives her a small thoughtful look that's barely there as his fingers gently brush her hair away from her face and he sighs. "Do you remember last week, when we had to all stay in your house for one night?" he suddenly asks, really quietly.

Elle nods, curious to where he's going with this as she creases her eyebrows. "Yeah. Hard to miss. Why?" she asks.

He exhales softly. "Well, he told me that he walked in on you showering that night and he saw you naked, just your back but, he said that you opened your bathroom door wide. I don't know, it feels like you knew he was going to be there, you know? Because of your hearing. And I'm fine with it—"

Six accusing her? That's new. Certainly not very him. Truth be told, he didn't even want to say anything earlier. Lloyd told him this in a brief and casual conversation last week. He wasn't planning to confront her about it. But he's curious. He wants to know if she's attracted to him that way just the same way he does for her. 

She retreats from him, widening her eyes. "Woah, what the shit! He saw me naked? And didn't say anything?" She raises her voice, filling the empty penthouse.

Six remains calm despite her lashing out. "He didn't want to make it weirder." he simply says.

"I thought you had walked in that time. That's why I kept the door open wide when I heard footsteps approaching." Elle explains to him in a harsh tone. 

Six slowly nods. "Alright, then. Look, he didn't indicate that you did it on purpose. I was the one who assumed that you…well, we haven't really discussed it, right? How it would be with us and him."

She shrugs. "What's there to discuss? He's okay with us." she assumes. 

He scoffs, shaking his head gently. "I mean, is he? You know that he's been trying to keep us apart this whole week, Elle." he reminds her.

"What, you think he doesn't want us to fuck just because he wants to fuck me too?" she scoffs at her own words, "Come on, that's ridiculous. He doesn't want to fuck me, Six. At least not anymore. And that's good. For me. Because I bet he's rough and selfish in bed." 

Six chuckles through his nose. "Not to sound like an asshole but didn't you say you liked it rough better?" he mumbles.

Elle looks at him, shocked but intrigued and possibly a little turned on that he remembered her words and is using it against her. "Oh, yeah, definitely. Just not him." she says, smirking as she slowly crawls onto his lap. 

He leans his head with a hand behind it as his other hand wraps around her waist. "You'd never know if you've never tried." 

She frowns. "You want me to try fucking him?" she accuses and her voice slips out in a different accent. 

Six shakes his head. "No, I mean, try giving him a chance. Just like you said earlier, he could use someone to help him relax." he gently says.

"I don't want to. It's not my job. Just get a nice hooker or something. We'll pay her." She proposes an idea. 

He laughs quietly. "You're serious? Elle, no. He'd hate it. He told me that he didn't want to fuck any hookers in this city. He was a bit paranoid if they're clean enough, you know." 

She snorts. "Okay, fine. Not a hooker then. Well, look, as much as I love helping people, he's not going to want me to do it. I mean, maybe he does want me, like you said but knowing Lloyd, he's probably just going to deny, deny and deny."

"Wait, what about your best friend? Amelia? She seems just as nice as you." he asks.

No. Lloyd wouldn't like her. She's too much of a saint for him. She's not really like Elle, actually. They're very different if anyone had bothered to look close enough. Sure, they both share the same love for science and their style is almost similar but they have a lot of differences that they never really talk about. Elle doesn't mind doing something a little bad to do good. Amelia doesn't. And there's the other fact where Elle fuck whoever she wants because she can but Amelia doesn't want to do that. 

Elle immediately shakes her head. "No, no. Fuck no. Lloyd isn't her type. And neither is she for him. Also, she hates white guys. She knows their only motive for local girls. To fuck them and then leave." 

Six nods. "Right. That's called a one-night stand. And I'm usually grateful that they leave first so it's not going to be awkward."

She giggles out loud. "Yeap. Yes. I agree. That's so true." 

His eyes focus on hers and her little facial features all lighting up as she begins to smile at him. She likes this. It's been a while since they had a moment just for themselves and their little jokes and their loose laughters. His lips slowly tug into a small smile watching her happy like this.

He sighs, his hands moving to cup her face. "Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to accuse you like that. Wasn't my intention." he apologizes softly.

Elle's face relaxes and sighs too. "It's okay," she softens her voice, "Hey, if you do want to share or try to, at least, I'm fine with it. Because to be honest, it did cross my mind a few times last week, what it would be like to have him again. But it was just a quick flash of thought." 

Six's face even looks shocked as he tries to contain himself. He's not used to showing emotions. But he forgot who he's with right now. She's someone he trusts. 

His fingers play with her hair as his other hand touches her cheeks and she leans on his palm. "What'd you think of?" he asks softly, it almost comes out as a whisper. 

She hums, thinking on it and as the thought comes back to her mind, she shifts her body on his lap. "Like, how it would feel like to have his fingers in me again or you know, if I had you both, at the same time—but it's stupid, really. I'm with you already. It's wrong to think like that. And what if he doesn't actually want me that way? It'd be embarrassing to assume so."

"It's not stupid. It's reasonable to have fantasies. I think it's… hot. That you want us both. And, he told me has a hard-on for you. Does that help?" Six slowly asks in a soothing voice for her.

Elle giggles again, scrunching her nose a little. "Yeah, but that doesn't really mean he wants me. Because that could just be a natural reaction from the body. Science is weird, trust me. I'm the living embodiment of it." she says.

Six snorts. "It's not a natural reaction anymore if it happens too often, Elle." he tells her. 

She lifts her eyebrows in surprise and widens her eyes. "Holy fuck, really? How often?" she exclaims.

He shrugs a little. "Once a day, maybe?" 

She widens her eyes even bigger. "What? No way. How? I never even wore anything revealing except for gym clothes." 

Six shakes his head. "You didn't have to. You exist. That's it. And that's his problem, he's making you his own problem because you're making him hard every single day without you even doing it intentionally. He's close to losing his mind, honestly." he admits.

Elle sighs, taking in the information all at once. She can't even believe that she didn't notice it since she's usually sensitive to other people's emotions — on what they feel everytime they're with her and she can feel it because of her powers. That's how she can communicate with Six without talking sometimes, because she's always feeling what he's feeling. She's in his mind and so is he. She chooses who to feel and she chooses him.

And that's when she realized something. She only ever felt what Six felt. Not what Lloyd felt. She never cared enough to do so. She convinced herself that he's too much for her, that if she felt what he felt then she'd get overwhelmed. 

It might be true. Lloyd has a lot of repressed and unsolved bad memories and trauma from his past that he chose to keep hidden so he could go on with his life and his job. But that just made him…worse. It made him angry all the time. He throws tantrums, blames everyone, hurts and kills anyone he looks down on and does whatever he wants whenever he wants without thinking of the consequences ahead (most of the time). 

She might've judged him wrongly. But there's more to him than she knows, than he's allowed her or anyone to know. She can see the real him with her mind, she just isn't sure if she wants to or not because what if the real him isn't so bad and she begins to…like him? That's something she certainly can't afford to do.

"Elle? Hey, are you okay? You're quiet. If there's something wrong, tell me." Six snaps her out of her thoughts and as usual, he noticed that her mind was elsewhere. He always notices. 

She hums, quietly shaking her head as her lips curve into a small smile for him. "No, there's nothing wrong. I was just thinking about things. I mean, are you going to be okay with…sharing?" 

His lips stretch into a light smile as he chuckles through his nose. "Of course, I'm okay with it. I suggested it. And even if I didn't, it's what you want and I will do whatever you want." he tells her, no—he swears to her. He'd do anything for her, more than he should.

"Sounds romantic. You know, you haven't even taken me on a date yet." Elle teases him with a smile, but it's not like there was any time for them to even go out. She was mostly busy and he doesn't go outside without her. 

Six's lips grow into a wider smile that he's never shown anyone else as he comes up to get his face closer to hers and plants a soft kiss on her cheek before his cheek touches her while his mouth is near her ear. "After the mission. You pick the place. Then maybe, if you're still up for it, we could talk to Lloyd about all this." he whispers in her ears in a hoarse voice and gentle tone.

She nods, her smile turning into a small smirk. "Hmm, great plan. And I think we should—" 

Her voice gets cut off by the loud sound of the elevator opening and she doesn't even bother to get off Six's lap as Lloyd walks out of the elevator mindlessly, without even looking at them while he steps into the living room.

He looks tense. Because he is. 

Elle smiles up at him. "Lloyd. We've been waiting for you." she says with excitement as he stops to stand in front of her and behind Six, frowning with confusion and frustration while his eyes examine their position.

Lloyd cocks his head to the side, still frowning. "Get off his lap. Your first mission is here." he orders her.

She rolls her eyes. "I actually like this position very much." she retorts.

"Don't make me get you off myself." he warns her.

"Oh, please. You won't even be able to. I'm stronger than you." Elle taunts him as he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

Six sighs. Sometimes he wishes that they'd fuck each other just to finally stop arguing every single second of the day because it seems to him that the only reason that they fight is because they haven't fucked yet. 

"Guys, come on. Lloyd, what is it?" Six asks, his head turning to him.

Lloyd looks at him, avoiding her gaze. "Her first mission, today. With you. It's simple. Extract data and destroy. That's it." he declares.

She frowns. "What's the data?" she asks, slowly getting off Six's lap and Lloyd finally glances down at her, his eyes boring into hers. He's slightly relieved that she got off his lap because he was…distracted by the view. 

"CIA data," he replies shortly. 

"What kind of data?" she repeats.

"The one that could put all of us in very deep shit. A corporate American building here has data about all of us in Jakarta. They've been spying on us this whole time, everytime we got out of the penthouse. They even have pictures of you and us in your house." Lloyd explains. 

Elle widens her eyes, immediately rising up from the couch. "What? How? Why would they even want it?" she starts to panic.

He sighs, tired of having to explain everything to her. "Because we're CIA. That's it. They'll usually sell the information to people who would actually do something about it." 

She hums confusedly. "Do I kill the person…?" she asks, unsurely. 

She doesn't want to kill anyone if it's not a life or death situation. If it's just for a mission and that person isn't even dangerous to the people or to the city, then she won't do it. She's not ready to just kill and kill aimlessly without even caring who she's killing. She's not an assassin. Even though, deep down inside her, she knows that someday she's going to have to forget who she is and just do the damn job, however brutal it is. 

Lloyd shakes his head. "Unfortunately, no. He's useless. Just a fucking idiot behind a desk. Well, idiots, technically." he replies.

Six simply nods, knowing that these kinds of things happen all the time whenever a CIA agent stays in one country for more than a week. He's had a lot of experience with it and always has had to fix it himself. It's an easy mission if there's no collateral damage or a certain obstacle. 

"When do we go?" he asks him.

"Wheels up at 6pm. It'll close soon at that time. Less workers, less obstacles. Just get in there, pretend to work there. We'll give you their office card with fake names." Lloyd tells them as she nods.

Elle's eyes dart to Six, who is calm and unfazed. Not even a single spike in his heartbeat. It doesn't bother her that he's always so calm, but sometimes she wishes that he'd let himself feel normal feelings once in a while. She knows that it's not exactly his choice, he was trained to be that way. But he still has free will, technically. He just needs to be reminded of that sometimes. 

Six gets up from the couch, "I'm going to start prepping." he simply says, looking into her eyes for approval.

She subtly nods before he plants a soft kiss on her temple and starts walking past her and Lloyd.

"It's chaotic down there. Good luck." Lloyd tells him as a warning. 

Six's lips form a thin line, nodding at him as he walks towards the elevator. 

Lloyd's eyes dart to hers and his gaze darkens. "Hey. You remember your training, right? Or should we do a quick training right now?" he asks her in a serious tone. 

She shakes her head. "No, absolutely not. I need to preserve my powers, anyway."

He frowns. "Oh. Was I too rough with you?" he asks in a serious tone.

Elle gulps. "Uh, yes." she truthfully answers.

Lloyd frowns deeper. "But you could take it." he coldly says as he steps closer to her, "You're strong. You could withstand anything, right?" 

She slowly nods her head, gulping again as she could feel the tension between them getting thick. Her eyes glare up at him and she has to force herself to keep up the eye contact since he's looking at her too intensely. "Yeah. I could. But as you said hundreds of times, I'm only human. I can still get tired." 

"But you have a different stamina than a normal human being—" he states before taking a sharp breath and she could tell that he's annoyed. "Don't fuck with me, Elle. You are strong. You took every punch, every kick, every bullet and every stab like a fucking champ. Now, do you remember what I trained you or do you need some reminder?" Lloyd softens his voice but it's still laced with anger, he's just trying to contain himself.

Elle huffs. "Don't talk to me like that. It's fucking weird. And yes, I do remember. No, I do not need any reminder from you. Now if you'd excuse me, I'm going to…prep for the mission as well. Whatever that means." she says, walking past him. 

He scoffs. She ignores him and walks to the elevator to go to Six. He's her comfort. She doesn't want to handle Lloyd right now. She needs to just focus on the mission. 

***

The mission is simple and easy, Six said. So she believes him. As always. 

She'll believe him, no matter what. Even if what he's saying is a lie or not. Because she trusts him blindly. That's what she does when she cares about someone deeply — she'd do anything for them. She'd even go head first into danger for them. 

"Elle, do you copy?" She hears Lloyd's formal voice through her earpiece as she and Six walk towards the building. 

It's not a big building. It's medium. It only has three floors and their data is on the top floor. They're both wearing professional work clothes. Six is wearing a suit. Elle is wearing a matching blouse and blazer.

She presses her comms and turns it on. "Yes. It's me. I'm here." she responds.

Lloyd leans back on his chair in front of the big monitors, tracking quite literally everything but mostly surveillance cameras that show the outside of the building, the street they're in and inside the building as well. He can see everything from here. Even them. 

"You're supposed to say, "this is Elle, copy", didn't Six tell you this? It's standard protocol." he protests. 

She rolls her eyes. "You know who I am already. I'm not talking to another CIA agent, am I?" she retorts. 

Lloyd huffs. "Can you not? This is a serious mission. Don't talk back right now." 

"I'll be taking this mission seriously when you stop complaining about every single thing I'm doing." Elle says.

"I was correcting you. That's what usually happens when someone makes a fucking mistake." he retorts back.

Six clears his throat as he stops in front of the entrance or the building. "Guys. We're here." he announces.

She nods, standing beside him. "Alright. Now what?" she asks.

"Tell them you forgot something upstairs and that you're new. After that, get to the top floor no matter what." Lloyd tells them through their comms. 

"Alright. I'm hanging up." Elle tells him, her fingers touching the comms on her ear.

"No, you don't hang up on—" Lloyd's voice gets cut off as she turns off her comms but Six still keeps it on. 

"Hey, Six, tell her that she's not supposed to turn off comms during missions." he says through Six's comms.

He looks at her and she shakes her head. "I need to focus." she whispers before walking ahead towards the entrance of the building as he follows her from behind, as usual.

"She needs to focus, Lloyd." Six mutters under his breath as he slightly looks down and he could hear Lloyd grunt in response. 

As they're approaching the entrance, a few security guards open the door for them without any questions asked. 

Once they're in, Six walks beside her and their eyes immediately examine the inside of the building. It's almost an empty lobby with only one receptionist behind the desk and a few people exiting the elevator.

"Keep your head low, Elle. These people can't suspect us right now." Six whispers into her ear as they walk towards one of the elevators. 

She nods subtly while waiting for all of the people to finish walking out of it and when it's all empty, they enter the elevator together and he immediately presses the close button along with the level of the floor they're going to. 

Elle turns her comms on again. "We're almost in. What are we looking for again?" she asks, just to confirm.

Lloyd sighs through their comms. "It's supposed to be a hard drive. That's usually how important data is kept but we could be wrong. It could be anywhere. Look for it and then destroy it, no matter what, okay? Do you understand me, Elle? This is your first mission, anything could go wrong." he tells her.

She rolls her eyes. "Nothing is going to go wrong because it's an easy mission. And yes, I do understand what I have to do." 

"Great. Because if something goes wrong, Denny would want you out of this mission and this country. He'd send you the states, drag you there if he has to and then you'd work for the agency, where you can't do whatever the fuck you want." he warns her.

She gulps, her eyes glancing at Six's eyes and he slowly nods, assuring her that that wouldn't happen, that this mission would be easy like he said earlier. So she trusts him and she goes back to being calm and composed again. 

She clears her throat. "Yeah, okay. I can do this, Lloyd. I understand your orders." 

"Good. That's more like it. I prefer it better when you're obeying me." Lloyd admits. 

She breaks into a soft chuckle. "Yeah. Makes things easier when I don't put up a fight with you, right?" 

He nods to himself. "Exactly." he agrees.

The elevator dings and her eyes are immediately fixed on it as it slowly opens while she lunges forward to it. 

"We're here." Elle announces to him. 

"Okay, talk me into whatever you'll be doing. The cameras won't be working once you get to the storage room. Use the card to get in there." Lloyd orders them.

"Mhm. Got it." she replies quickly before getting out of the elevator with Six behind her. 

***

This office is like a maze for her. And she hates mazes. 

They've been walking around the top floor of this office for almost more than twenty minutes. They had to check every single room to make sure there aren't anyone here anymore and that the data isn't stored anywhere there. 

But after double checking everything, they could finally go to the storage room and destroy the data and get out of here. 

They have a date to go to after this. 

Six always lets her walk in front of him so he could steer clear of her surroundings because the most dangerous threats always come from behind as he's learned that from his own experience. 

As they're walking to the only storage room right in the corner from a narrowed and small hallway, she moves to walk beside him instead and he immediately looks behind them.

"Hey, so I was thinking…we could just stay at the penthouse for our date? I could decorate the living room and order in and then we could watch your favorite movie, whatever it is." Elle suggests with an amused smile on her lips.

Six stops walking because they've arrived in front of the door. He looks at her, regarding with a confused but acceptable look. "Oh. If that's what you want, I'm fine with it. I don't have a favorite movie, though." 

She chuckles. "We'll find you one."

"We?" he asks. 

She nods. "Yeah. Well, if you don't mind, we could do it with Lloyd? So we could talk about the…thing. I just think it'll be way easier. Plus, it's a busy night in Jakarta right now. It'll be impossible to find an empty table in a nice and quiet restaurant."

"Alright, then. We'll do that." he steps closer to her, taking both of her hands in his softly, "Whatever you want, we'll do it. You're the boss." 

She laughs and scrunches her nose, shaking her head. "No, I'm not."

He tries to hide a smile coming off of his lips. "Yes, you are. You're in charge. And even later if we're with Lloyd, you'll be calling the shots when we're together."

Elle scoffs. "Yeah, as if he would ever listen to my orders. He only ever wants to listen to his own orders."

Six quietly snorts. "We'll talk about it later. We got some data to destroy." he tells her.

She smiles up at him. "Yeah, let's just get this over with." 

He steps forward to the door and scans his card against the card reader until it makes an accepting beeping sound as he opens the door wide enough for her to come inside too. 

She steps inside first and then him while he closes the door behind them.

Their eyes wander around the large and spacious room that's stacked with tall racks filled with tons of data of whatever they keep in here. It'd take a lot of time to find their specific wanted data. 

She sighs, turning on her comms. "We're in. But the storage room is really…big. There's way too much data in here. If we go in looking for it, it's going to take hours and maybe until the office closes and locks us in here." 

Lloyd exhales. "Are you fucking kidding me? Right, then, we'll just…wait, hold on a second. I'm communicating with Denny as well on the other comms." he tells her as Six just stands quietly, waiting for his next orders as usual. 

She hums softly in response before looking at him. He seems so calm while she's not. She really doesn't want to spend her entire night here just trying to look for this stupid data for the CIA. She knows this is just the first mission but she was expecting something…heroic. That would mean something to her. Or to anyone, really. Now, it just feels like she's a little  pawn doing the agency's bidding whenever they want her to. 

Six already knows he's their pawn. Ever since they recruited him from prison, he knew. But this was his only way out of jail for the rest of his life, that's why he took it. 

Lloyd clears his throat after a few seconds. "Okay, I've got direct orders from Denny. Elle, blow up the whole floor. Don't leave anything left. You've been cleared for collateral, too. Go loud, he said." 

She swallows thickly. "Oh. The whole floor? A-are you sure? I mean, shouldn't we just like, I don't know—"

He cuts her off. "You have no other choice, Elle. There aren't any. Just do it. Get it over with. Then you could come back here and do whatever you want." he harshly tells her. 

She huffs, her eyes immediately searching for Six's eyes and she's trying to ask for his guidance so he could tell her what to do, the right thing to do. 

Six nods gently at her. "He's right. Do it." He simply says as if he's a machine designed for the CIA and not a human. He switched to it earlier once they entered this room. He needed to be professional and compartmentalize again for work. 

She frowns at him. He's different and she knows it. She never thought that he'd ever change like this. He's…cold and indifferent and it scares her a little bit since she's not used to changes. She knows it's because he's working now that's why he's changing but seeing him like this makes her question him, if it's going to be like this every mission. Because then, who could she depend on when he's uncaring like this even towards her? 

Elle takes a sharp inhale, blinking as she bites her bottom lip anxiously. "Okay, fine. I'll do it." she finally says and she could hear Lloyd's sigh of relief. 

"Good. Let me know when you're done." Lloyd shortly tells her and she hums in response, walking away from the room with Six following her from behind without a word.

They exit the room and he closes the door shut. He lets himself look at her for a brief moment. He can sense that she's disappointed in his change but he can't do anything about it. It's his job. This is how he is every time he's on missions. He can't just change how he is. He'd be fucked and so will the missions. 

"You could've given me a heads-up, you know. If you were going to be so different like this. I deserve a warning." Elle snaps, not even looking back at him as she's fueled with anger and fear. 

She's just scared. Terrified. She thought that she could depend on him on all these missions so she doesn't feel like she's doing it alone because she hates being alone and it scares her. A lot.

Six doesn't even blink or anything. He just continues on walking calmly. In truth, he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't have the right words for her to comfort her or tell her he's sorry. Because he's not. He can't feel that guilt he's supposed to feel. He's just a little upset that it upsets her. He doesn't like seeing her upset, that's it. He wasn't trained to apologize for how he is. He is what he is and he can never change it, no matter what.

"Let's just blow up this building and leave. We could talk about that later." he coldly says. 

She sighs, stopping in front of the boss's office and this is where she's supposed to blow up this whole floor because it's the center of it. But instead of readying her powers, she turns around to him with a scowl on her face. 

"No. We're going to talk about this now," her voice slightly cracks, "Why are you acting so different? I've never seen you like this before. I mean, why? You could even barely look at me." Elle confronts him as she points a finger at him. 

He's looking away from her, trying really hard to stay calm and uncompromised despite her demanding answers from him. "Elle. Just stop. Let's not do this now." Six shortly says.

"Yeah, I agree, guys. You could fight more back in the penthouse. Maybe even in the bedroom, but I could care less about that right now. So, can you just hurry it up and blow up the fucking building?" Lloyd interjects through both of their comms. 

Of course they forgot to turn it off and he's been listening to their conversation this whole time. 

She frowns again and blinks as she clears her throat. "Fine, I was just about to, anyway. Jeez." Elle scoffs before walking ahead of Six and standing in front of him to protect him from the explosion later on. She's creating the fire so it won't affect her at all. 

She raises her hand and slowly inhales her breath, focusing on this building but suddenly her focus drifts. She hears a distinct sound. A really muffled one. But it's there. She focuses on the sound and tries to listen closely to it as she closes her eyes to focus better.

"Mommy? Daddy? Where are you?" She hears a little girl's voice from afar. But she's still on this floor. She's here. They must've missed a spot earlier when they were checking all the offices here.

Elle immediately opens her eyes and widens it. "A child. There's a child here. We need to find her first and get her far away from here." she tells Six and Lloyd.

"No. Absolutely not. We don't have time for that. Elle, you've already been cleared for collateral. So just do your damn job." Lloyd orders.

Like he would ever give a shit about a child. He doesn't even care about anyone that doesn't concern him.

She shakes her head, turning to Six. "I'm not killing a child! I'm not doing it. I didn't sign up for this shit." she raises her voice at him as panic is laced in her tone.

Six hushes her softly, his hand slowly reaching out to her arm before slowly turning off his comms in his ears. "Elle, be quiet. We'll solve this. Together." he whispers.

She sighs in relief as she nods, turning off her comms as well. 

"You want to help? Are you sure?" Elle asks him for reassurance.

Six nods, his facial expressions immediately changing and turning into more relaxed and more of himself now. He's had missions like this before where he has to postpone it for a while just because he sees a child or a civilian around. He does kill people for a living but only the bad ones, the ones who deserve to die and are hurting innocents along the way so there was no point in them living anyway. He's always thought of it like that. He has a complicated moral compass but at least he still has it. Most assassins don't. 

"I am. I'm not going to let a kid die either. So, let's find her first and then get her out of here, okay?" he says to her softly with both of his hands holding her arms.

Elle nods, her lips slowly curving into a small smile. She could tell that something in him switched him back to himself again after hearing that there's a child here and she knows that he doesn't like collateral damage when on missions. He tries his best to always make sure that there's no collateral at all. But sometimes, there will always be, no matter how hard he tries.

Except for this. This is an easy and quiet mission so rescuing the kid shouldn't be hard. But he knows that Lloyd is going to give him and her a really long lecture about disobeying orders, especially from the chief. They're both screwed later but if it means they get to save a child's life, then so be it. 

Besides, Six knows that Lloyd will excuse them just this once and not tell Denny anything about this. It's her first mission and all that. That and the fact that he has a soft spot for her, deep inside. Six sees it. Especially after last week when she got hurt, he could see how he was actually worried but he was trying to hide it as much as he could even though Six could see concern written all over his face since he's good at reading people. 

"I think I hear her footsteps. Let's follow it." she tells him before she takes his hand and guides him to where she hears the little girl's sound. 

***

Lloyd is so fucking pissed right now that he can't even put it into words.

Six turned off his comms. Elle did, too. 

And he hasn't heard anything from the agents nearby the building about any explosions yet, that means they haven't done their job. 

He knows what this is about. She told him that there was a child earlier but he told her that she was clear for collateral. It's not like it was up to him. Lloyd doesn't call the shots. Denny does. And he's the one who doesn't give a damn if a child dies or not. He just thinks it's collateral damage and it happens all the time.

It's true, collateral does happen all the time. But it's not like this is a critical mission. This is just a simple one. It should've been allowed to just save one single child and keep her out of danger. But apparently the CIA's data is much more valuable for him than a child's life.

Sometimes Lloyd wishes that he isn't his friend. But it's too late to undo that. He's already roped into all this shit long ago and he knows there's no going back. 

"Sir, what do you want us to do now?" One of the IT support asks him while he's still sitting on his huge chair in front of all the monitors.

"I don't fucking know! It's been mintues that they've been radio silent and instead of asking me what should you do, maybe try accessing the fucking security cameras on the top floor?" Lloyd snaps.

He nods. "Right. On it, sir." 

He rolls his eyes before downing a glass of his whiskey and placing the now empty glass on a small table beside him. He should've come with them earlier. It won't go sideways like this if he's with them right now.

And now, he just has to wait. The thing he hates the most. But as of right now, it's the only thing he can do. 

He needs to wait for them until she blows up the building and comes back to the penthouse so he could have a talk with her. 

***

"Small creature? Are you there? I'm friendly!" Elle softly tells the child who's hiding behind a chair in one of the offices here. 

They finally found her after searching for a few minutes but Elle told Six that they have to approach her gently since she's scared and alone. 

Slowly, the little girl comes out of her hiding spot and runs to Elle. She's about four or five years old. She almost looks like her. Maybe she's a mixed kid as well. They even have the same hair. Curly and a little brunette.

The girl looks up at Elle while hugging a pink teddy bear tight against her arms. "Do you know where my mommy and daddy are?" she asks.

Elle nods, looking down at her as she smiles. "Yeap. They're right downstairs. Let's go there now." 

Her tiny hands hold Elle's as she looks at Six and quickly hides beside her. "Who is this scary man?" she softly asks. 

The tattoos must've startled her. It does scare some people usually. Or the broad and tall figure of his, as well. 

She chuckles, glancing over at Six as she kneels down to reach her level. "Okay, this is my friend. He's very nice. In fact, he's going to give you some candy if you come with him to go downstairs." she tells the kid, convincingly.

The girl immediately smiles and nods. "Okay!" she exclaims before walking to Six and putting her small hands into his large ones but he's too focused on looking at her, admiring her on how good she is with kids and she can get along with any of them so easily. 

It is a little sad that she could never have her own. 

Elle looks at him, her lips tugging into a small smile before planting a soft kiss on his cheek and leaning closer to his ear. "Bring her down to the lobby and then meet me at the car after I'm done with it, okay?" she whispers in his ears as she rests her palm on his cheek.

Six nods. "Got it. Good luck." he whispers back to her ears and she backs away from him, looking down at the girl and smiling widely at her.

"Be good, okay?" Elle tells her as she quickly nods her small tiny head and pulls his hand to go forward while she chuckles at the kid's action and so does Six. 

He turns around to go in the right direction and the little one just follows him. He steals one last glance to look at Elle for a second before his hand gets pulled again to walk faster.

He's not very good with children, the only close interaction he's ever had with a child is probably with Fitzroy's niece, back in Hong Kong but that was two years ago and he's never seen her again. So this is new for him, especially after seeing Elle being so good with a child and getting along with them easily. He knows that she wants that kind of future where there's children in it but he also knows about her condition that doesn't allow her to have them. She told him last week and he hasn't forgotten about it ever since.

He feels bad for her because she'd make a really good mom. He just knows she would.

Six leads the little girl towards the elevator and presses a button to go downstairs as it immediately opens because this office is nearly empty. He lets her go in first with him following her from behind while the elevator closes behind them once they're fully inside. 

Once Elle hears the elevator closes from afar, she immediately turns on her comms again to communicate with Lloyd again. She just hopes he isn't that mad. 

Elle clears her throat, "Hey. So I'm about to blow up the building and was wondering where to escape? Because I was thinking about jumping off the building but that would take too much energy so if I—"

Lloyd cuts her off. "What the hell have you been doing this whole fucking time? And where's Six?" he asks her, yelling in her ears as she grimaces at the impact of his voice.

"Relax, jeez. I'm literally just about to do it now. And he's downstairs, dropping off the child safely." she responds.

He rolls his eyes. "You dragged him into your mess. Denny has been asking me countless times on why the building hasn't blown up yet. I had to tell him that there's been an interference with our comms. Six has never been known to fail a mission and if he failed this easy one just because of you—"

She frowns. "I haven't failed this mission. I am about to do it, I just postponed it a few seconds." she defends.

Lloyd scoffs. "A few seconds? It's been more than ten minutes. You were supposed to follow your orders immediately. You weren't supposed to postpone it." He scolds her.

She rolls her eyes, sighing. "Fine. You can lecture me about it all you want once we're back home but now, I gotta know where to escape." 

He exhales deeply, his fingers brushing his stache as he looks over at the blueprint map of the office she's in from one of the huge monitors in front of him. "There's an exit back door to your right that leads to some alley. You'll be safe there." Lloyd finally says. 

Elle hums in response, raising her hand again and inhales a sharp breath as she feels all the energy inside the building before chanting a quick spell of her own and it blows up immediately, blasting everything inside as she runs through all the fire as quickly as she could even though everything is dark for her but she's trying to use her heightened senses.

Her hand finally reaches a door handle and quickly opens it as she throws herself inside of it. She coughs a little from the damage and turns on her comms again, if it's working. "Lloyd? Six?" She tries but there's no answer. The signal died the moment the explosion started. She should've known that but this is her first time ever doing this.

She stands up from where she was and looks at everything but it's all dark again. She knows that there are stairs here but she can't see anything. She can't just run down these stairs for four floors blindly. She does have heightened senses but it's literally pitch black and she can't hear anything because of the explosion. 

She lets her hands touch the wall beside her and she immediately gets an idea. It might be a bad one, but it's the only good one to get out of here now.

She clenches her fist and starts hitting the wall with her bare hands as hard as she can and it crumbles with one try. She gasps at that, she's never seen how really strong she could be. 

She punches the wall again until it finally breaks even bigger and it's big enough for her to fit into it. She looks at it and it's pretty high from here to the ground but it's her only choice right now. She knows she'll survive the fall but she's never done this before and she's a little…scared — she's actually scared of heights, it has been like that since she was little. 

"Come on, just do it." Elle mutters to herself, trying to encourage herself to just jump off this fucking building and stop being scared. This is what it takes to be working for the CIA. She knows it. Now she does, at least. 

She closes her eyes shut and takes her feet off of the ledge and just jumps her whole body down. 

She could hear outside now. The cars, the motorcycles, the people. She knows where she'll land now, that alley which Lloyd told her to go to. She just hopes she won't land on someone's car or on someone. She focuses on all the sounds she's hearing 

She can hear everything as her body falls onto the ground, hard. 

She groans, finally opening her eyes and squinting it as she tries to get up but everything hurts now. Her whole body hurts. She's laying down flat on the ground without being able to move at all. She doesn't understand what's happening. She thought she was invincible to everything. Maybe her body isn't used to being thrown to the ground yet. This is all new for her and her body.

"Elle? Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Six's voice appears from behind her and her eyes look up at him, upside down. 

"I didn't know that you'd be here, I thought that…fuck, it hurts." She winces at the pain and he immediately squats down, carrying her in his arms, bridal-style. She leans her head on his chest and breathes deeply. He's carrying her like she's practically nothing. 

"What happened?" he asks her, softly as his eyes look down on hers.

"I miscalculated. I thought that I could just go downstairs after the blast but I blasted too much and it was all dark. I should've just blown it up from here, with my mind. Would've been way easier." Elle explains to him, weakly. 

"Okay. Let's just go back and you'll feel better there. The car's right here." Six tells her, gesturing his head towards the car beside them, the same one that took them here earlier. There's a local driver in it and he was paid to be quiet and not ask questions. 

She nods slowly as he brings them to the car and he gently places her in it as delicately as possible before he gets in the car as well.

***

Lloyd has been eyeing the elevator as it finally opens and Six and Elle walk out of it but she's… hurt. 

They're on the first floor of the penthouse because they knew that he'd still be here. All the field agents and IT support are all in here too, staring at them. 

She has her arm around his shoulder for support and he's got his arm wrapped around her waist as she leans all of her weight against him. 

Lloyd rushes to them immediately and frowns. "What happened? You look like hell." he asks.

Elle sighs. "I made a mistake. I calculated wrong. The blast that I created was too big for me to escape in time. So I had to jump out of the building." she tells him as her eyes dart to his and he's a little worried but he's still angry. Very angry. 

He exhales, trying to contain his anger because he can't just yell at her when she's all hurt, it's like kicking a wounded puppy and even he still has a little bit of empathy left in him. "Jesus. Alright, bring her upstairs to the living room. I'm calling a doctor from the nearest hospital here. You just stay there and don't fucking move." he tells them, walking to the elevator. 

"Okay." she softly says and he almost feels bad for what he's about to say to her after all this but he needs to say what he needs to say. She needs to hear it or she'll never learn, like ever. 

Six and her follow him from behind and they all enter the elevator again as Lloyd presses the up button.

He glances at her from the side and he wishes he could say something now but he knows that he should just keep his mouth shut for now. 

He examines her body closer and it's all dirty and dusty from the explosion but he doesn't see any blood on her or any injury. He's a little bit relieved so at least he doesn't need to spend his time worrying about her just like last week when she was shot and almost kidnapped by some idiots — he handled those idiots already, by himself, but he hasn't told Six or her yet.

The elevator dings and it opens by itself as Lloyd lets her step out of it first with Six still helping her walk. 

She sighs in relief as she steps her foot on the penthouse's floor. She's happy to be back home and safe. 

***

Elle lies down on the couch with a woman doctor sitting beside her, checking all her vitals while she applies an IV on her. 

Lloyd and Six are standing in front of her, both crossing their arms against their chest as they observe her. They've been like this ever since the doctor arrived. 

In truth, they're both equally worried for her well being. They don't like seeing her hurt or vulnerable like this. She's supposed to be strong and powerful and invincible. If she keeps getting hurt like this, then they'd have to worry more about her than about the missions. They always thought that they didn't have to worry about her like this because they always thought that she could take it.

But again, she's still human. She can still get hurt anytime, no matter what. 

"How is she, doctor?" Lloyd asks, concernedly. 

The doctor focuses on her file. "Well, her vitals are completely fine, surprisingly. She just needs a little fluid. Maybe some painkillers for the pain, too. She said she was experiencing some pain but I don't see where it's from. There are no injuries or any wounds. You said she fell, earlier? From where?" She asks back, looking at him.

Elle gulps, looking at Lloyd for help. She doesn't usually lie to doctors. She always tells the truth because she thinks that they'll figure out the truth anyway and it's just impossible to lie to them. 

Lloyd steps forward to the doctor. "Doctor, I'm paying you ten times more than your usual fees so I'd say that's enough for you to not ask questions about anything and just do your job." he tells her. 

The doctor slowly nods, turning to her. "Right. Well, I'm going to give you some painkillers, is that okay?" she asks her.

Elle shakes her head. "No, I'm good. I mean, I'll be fine. I don't think that…I need those pills. I–I can heal naturally, right? Yeah. I don't need those. I'll feel better in a minute." she tells the doctor as she faintly smiles.

She can't get her hands on those pills again. Not again. She'd rather suffer pain than getting addicted to those fucking pills again. Plus, she promised Six. She knows that once she has them again, she won't stop. 

"Okay, then. I'll leave you to rest. Take the IV off when it's finished and contact me if you still feel any pain." The doctor tells her, standing up from the couch as she gets her stuff. 

She nods. "Thank you, doctor." she says politely, giving her a weak smile.

Lloyd walks to her. "Let me escort you out, doctor." he formally says as they both walk out of the living room towards the elevator.

Elle softly groans, leaning her head back onto the couch as she looks over to Six who's still standing still there. "Come here, please," she whispers weakly to him in a pleading tone. 

He immediately walks over to her and sits beside her. "How are you feeling?" he asks her, his hand reaching out to her arm as his eyes search for her and their eyes finally meet. 

She relaxes and smiles up at him. "Better now." she murmurs softly.

"Do you want to take a bath? I can help you with that, if you want." Six offers her as his hand slowly brushes the side of her face while his thumb strokes her cheek. 

Elle pouts a little, scrunching her nose as she shakes her head. "No, I'll just have a shower. I need to try to move my muscles so I can heal quicker. I think my body was just in shock when I fell from that building earlier. It's not used to being thrown that high." she tells him.

"Okay, then. I need to go downstairs to do a little debrief with Denny, as usual."

"Is he going to ask anything about me?"

He frowns. "No, nothing like that. Just a lot of questions after questions and then I'd have to make a quick summary about what the mission was like. But he won't ask anything about you or ask anything to you. It's your first time." Six assures her. 

She sighs in relief. "Great. Okay. That's good. Um, I do need help getting up, though." Elle admits as she gives him an innocent smile.

He chuckles quietly as he nods. "Come here, let me help you," he says softly, holding both of her hands before lifting her upper body up and she sits up from the couch.

They both look into each other's eyes and realize that they're so close, their faces are almost touching and their lips are an inch apart from each other. This has been the closest they've been after this whole week of not touching each other. It's not that they didn't want to because they did, they really did. They have so much desire for each other. It's a lot. And it's undeniable, no matter how hard they try to hide it. 

She swallows thickly. "Hey, so, I know we haven't really slept together this past week because of training but now that that's over, can I sleep in your room tonight?" she asks him.

Six tucks her hair under her ear and nods. "Of course." he softly says as his lips slowly tug into a small smile. 

She smiles again. "Okay. See you in bed then." Elle says, getting excited for tonight and she completely forgot that she was in pain. It's really that easy to distract her. 

They both say nothing as they retreat from each other and he helps her to stand up from the couch, walking her to her room as well. 

***

Finally, she is cleaned up, well rested and fully healed.

She's showered, changed into clean clothes and she's already feeling better due to the IV. 

And now she's extremely starving while looking for food in the fridge that desperately needs to be stocked again. 

She's the only one who does the grocery shopping around here. If she just misses even a day of not doing it, the boys are going to complain to her because of the lack of food. It's not even her job but it has become part of her life now. 

After a few minutes of searching for some food that's quick to eat and doesn't require to be cooked, she takes them with her to the kitchen island as she proceeds to eat her food there. 

She's got strawberry and mango yogurt, some pasta leftovers from domino's, a bowl of watermelon, a bag of cold chips and some leftover pastry from the local coffee shop downstairs. And she's drinking a liter of water. She needs to keep being hydrated so her body stays healthy and healed. 

They order a lot of take outs for most nights and Lloyd usually orders too much of it and it ends up being another leftover in the fridge.

Right now, as she’s eating, she’s too lazy to listen in on everyone downstairs and way too focused on her food. She knows Six is still downstairs doing some stupid debrief that is only wasting his time to rest and clean up. She doesn’t know where Lloyd is though. Probably still downstairs as well, accompanying Six, as usual. Those two have quickly become besties now, always telling each other literally everything.

She wonders how they ever got along, though. Because she knows that they didn’t meet each other up until this mission, only heard stories of each other from other people in the agency. And when they had to do this mission together, they didn’t exactly like each other since they both never had any partners in their line of work. They’ve always worked alone. They weren’t used to partners or even friends.

But this mission has really brought them along and well, her as well. They both have only one thing in common, they both want her and are willing to do for her and her safety.

“Mmm. So good.” She mutters to herself, mouth full with the food as she enjoys it before she has to handle Lloyd. She knows what’s coming. He was just waiting for her to heal and clean up to finally lash his anger out on her.

Ugh. What a headache.

She just wants to lay down and sleep forever. She’s a little tired, she’ll admit. She did just blow up a whole building and jump from the tall building and is still alive until now. She used a lot of her energy. But thanks to food and IV, she’s not that tired anymore.

But thinking of Lloyd about to yell at her face again, she just lost her appetite as she looks down at all her food that’s almost half finished already. She might not have super speed, but she sure does eat really fast. And that way, she gets full way easier.

She hops off the kitchen island stool and begins to throw away all the trash from her food to the garbage can in the kitchen. She walks to the kitchen sink and turns it on with her mind as she lets the water while she washes her hand with the soap.

After she’s done, she dries her hands with the paper towel and just as she was about to walk to the couch to relax and watch some TV, the elevator dings and opens.

Shit. I’m fucked.

Elle sighs as she hears Lloyd’s heavy footsteps coming out of the elevator and stepping in their foyer.

She frowns and sighs loudly. “Look, can we just not do this—” she tries.

He ignores her as he walks into their living room, where she’s standing. “I get it. But we’re all tired, Elle. And you need to learn a fucking lesson.” Lloyd starts.

She snorts. “Please. What am I? A child? What lesson are you trying to teach me here, Lloyd? I understood the orders and I did it. I blew up the fucking building already.” Elle defends herself.

Lloyd scoffs, shaking his head. “But you disobeyed my orders. Don’t you get it? You’re supposed to do as you’re told, no matter what. No questions asked. That’s what we all do.” he lectures her.

“Wow, it’s not like I don’t even have any more free will.” She retorts.

“Well, you asked for this. You wanted this. Don’t fucking complain for something you signed up for.” He harshly says.

She scoffs. “I never signed up to kill an innocent child! What the fuck were you thinking?” Elle raises her voice at him.

Lloyd frowns. “It wasn’t my choice! Did you think that I ever wanted that? It was a clear order. I couldn’t do anything about it.” He raises his voice back at her.

She shakes her head in disbelief. “So you would’ve killed a child anyway?” she says, lowering her voice.

He huffs. “Jesus, Elle. Would you fucking stop? The child’s not dead, right? You saved him or her. But still, you can’t just turn off your comms and ignore me and do whatever the fuck you want. It’s not how this works. You’re lucky that I didn’t tell Denny the truth about you. He’d be pissed. Just like I am with you because following orders is very important. But if he knew, he’d remove you from this mission and drag you to the states and—”

Elle gulps. “Then, why didn’t you?” she weakly asks. She’s scared to ask but she’s curious. He’d snitch on anyone else because he could care less about them but somehow, it’s different with her.

Lloyd lunges forward to her and glares down at her. “I did it for you.” He grits out. He didn’t want to admit that but she asked for it and there’s no point in hiding anything from her anyway, the girl’s a mind reader after all.

She furrows her brows and scoffs gently. “But why? I thought you didn’t care about me or anyone at all.” She asks but it comes out as a whisper because she's still in disbelief.

Lloyd takes another step forward closer to her and now they’re so close to each other as their faces are almost touching. “I do care. For you. I don’t know why but…I just do. You have no idea how much effect you have on me. If you so much as tell me to kill someone right now, I will. I’d do it in a heartbeat. In fact, I have killed for you. Remember those guys who tried to kidnap you and instead shot you and Six last week? I found their bosses and shot them all in the head at their own house, a few days ago. And I didn’t even clean it up. I just left the bodies like that. So they’d know not to mess with us again. Not to hurt you again.” He bluntly confesses.

It’s not like him to just confess what he feels but he’s cornered right now and he has no other choice but to just get it out and finally tell her the truth. She deserves the truth, anyway. Keeping her in the dark forever is just not right and he knows that.

Elle swallows thickly. She is scared but also turned on. She never expected for anyone to do that for her. But she does like it. With all the other guys she’s been with, they were too much of a coward and she’s always wanted them to do more for her. To do anything for her. And she knows it’s fucked up to want him because he killed for her but it’s not like they didn’t deserve it. They were going to kidnap her and sell her as a weapon. But still, he killed for her — not exactly right or justifiable.

“You did that…for me or for Denny? Did he ask you to—” she slowly asks him.

He cuts her off, shaking his head. “No. He didn’t. It was for your safety but…the CIA wouldn’t have sanctioned a mass murder. It was really fucking messy, Elle. There was blood and brain matter all over the place.” Lloyd casually says with a scoff.

Oh.

She gulps again. It’s how he says it so casually while talking about murder. Like he has no remorse or regret and even has a little pride for it, in which he does. He proudly did it for her and he wasn't even planning to tell her but here he is anyway.

She stays quiet, her mind going round and round in circles thinking about why he did all that just for her. She remembered Six’s words about him secretly wanting her but she just thought that meant sexually only and not in a way that he’d do quite literally anything for her. Because this is getting dangerous. He killed someone for her, just like that. She’s scared.

Lloyd sighs softly. “Say something, dammit. Your silence is weirdly scaring me. Are you…scared?” he asks, cautiously.

She looks him in the eyes. “I was just thinking. I mean, why would you do that for me? I didn’t ask for it and yeah, I guess I am a little scared of you. I’ve always been. But…this is different. You killed them for me, just like that. Like their lives didn’t mean shit to you. It does scare me.”

His lips slowly turn into a smirk. “That’s good that you’re scared of me. You should be.” He lowers his voice into a whisper.

She frowns. “Lloyd. You can’t just do that, go out and kill anyone for me. It’s reckless.” She raises her voice a little.

He scoffs. “I can do whatever the fuck I want, sweetheart. Even if I get caught, I have immunity for that because of the agency.” He pauses, staring into her eyes, “You should feel grateful. I don’t just kill for anyone. Well, except for the CIA but, you know, that’s completely different from you. I’m doing it for you because I want to. I need to see you safe and sound. And I don’t fucking know why.” Lloyd admits, truthfully.

Elle sighs softly, looking down to avoid his gaze but his hand lifts her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “What do you want from me?” she softly asks.

Lloyd furrows his brows and cocks his head to the side as he slowly smirks. “Oh, sweetheart. I want everything from you. Anything that I could take from you. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you? I’ve wanted you in every way possible. I can’t stop thinking about that night in that dingy, gross bar when I had my fingers in you and when I tasted you…”

She frowns deeper. “Lloyd, if this is one of your sick and twisted games to tease me, you better stop right now.” she warns him.

His smirk turns wider as his hand moves to her lips and his thumb strokes her bottom lips. “I’m not teasing you right now, Elle. But if you want me to…” Lloyd whispers at her face.

She slightly widens her eyes and takes his hand off of her with one try. She shakes her head as she turns around from him and walks further into their living room. “No. We can’t do this. I don’t even know why you want me and care about me so much all of a sudden when you’ve been treating me like shit this whole entire time. I just don’t fucking get it.” Elle snaps, stopping to stand in front of their floor to ceiling window that highlights the whole city of Jakarta as she turns to him.

Lloyd sighs, walking to her. “So you don’t feel the same?” he asks as he stands in front of her, seeing the night view of the city behind her head.

“That’s not what I said. Look, Six and I talked about it and we were about to propose an idea to you about…sharing me. We were about to do it after the mission but—that’s not the point I’m trying to make. It doesn’t matter if I feel the same or not. You killed someone for me, Lloyd. And then you lied about what you feel for me the entire time. That’s…toxic. If we are together, if we do this, then what does that say about us?” she asks, waving her hand between them.

Elle has always been logical with life. What’s wrong is wrong and what’s right is right. She knows killing is wrong but killing for someone else because you care for them, that’s a whole different level of wrong. And yes, it was necessary to kill them for her own safety but he only did that because he cares for her. If he didn’t, they would still be alive. She just doesn’t want to be the reason why someone’s dead. She doesn’t want to be responsible for that because she’s had her own guilt already for actually being responsible for someone’s death and it felt horrible for her. She’ll never forget what she did in that lab.

That doesn’t mean she’s justified her own actions, no. She fully knows that what she did was wrong and she still feels guilty about it but she has a feeling that Lloyd doesn’t feel guilty or thinks it’s wrong which is why it makes this toxic.

Lloyd steps forward to her and stares into her eyes. “I don’t care what it says about us. You want me and I want you. Really badly.”

Elle scoffs at his face. “You’re a sociopath. You won’t feel the same for me anymore after a while. You’ll feel bored and then you’ll forget why you were even obsessed with me in the first place. And if we’re starting it like this, with you killing for me, then I don’t want it. I’m scared. About you and all of this. It’s out of my comfort zone. I can’t do this.” She tells him as her voice slightly cracks.

He knows what he is. A sociopath. A person who doesn’t feel things like any average human being. He’s aware of it. Six and him talk about it a lot. He doesn’t want to be that person who gets bored easily with someone they care about and then just leaves them but in this situation, he can’t leave her because of the mission and all. He’s conscious about it but it doesn’t mean he’s proud of it. He hates it. He hates himself for it. He can’t change who he is but he is trying to be better even if it isn't showing.

At least he can still care about someone and would do anything for them. If he is an actual sociopath, it doesn't mean that there aren't a few people he'd kill for and even die for.

She tries to walk away but he immediately lunges forward to her and cages her in with both of his arms on the window as she’s pressed against it and he presses himself against her body. He leans into her ear, “You can’t run away from us, Elle. It’s too late for that.” Lloyd whispers in her ears.

She scowls. “Let me go.” she hisses as her breath hitches.

He looks back into her eyes. “If you wanted me to, you would’ve already done it yourself. You do want this but you’re trying too hard to avoid it. Stop fucking doing that. I’m right here and it’s only us.” he presses her.

She rolls her eyes before moving her face closer to his, staring down at his lips. “Just shut up. I don’t want to talk anymore,” she breathes out as she smashes her lips against his and kisses him as hard as she could while he deepens the kiss, roughly and she lets out a loud moan against his mouth.

Lloyd cups her face, his teeth harshly biting her bottom lips until it bleeds as she moans again, louder this time. She liked that. She likes it rough and he knows exactly how to fulfill that desire of hers without asking.

“Where do you want it? Right here? On the couch? Or in my bedroom?” he asks against her mouth as his breathing starts to get heavy while her hands move to his hips, getting lower and lower to his crotch.

She whimpers, shaking her head. “Shit. We shouldn’t be doing this. I told Six that we’d do it together—” she whines against his mouth, slowly regretting everything but she can’t say that she’s not enjoying this because she is, she really is. She’s just too ashamed to admit it. It’s her guilty pleasure.

Lloyd cuts her off. “Fuck that. I know him and he’d be okay with this. With us.” He breathes out as he brings down his hand to rest on the side of her neck.

She breathes heavily, “Fine. Fuck me right here, then.” She pants against his mouth as her eyes gesture behind her, to the huge ass window.

His eyes look down to the night view of the whole city through their clear window. Anyone could see them from down there if they fucked right here since their lights are on and the window is huge and wide enough. But it doesn't matter to them right now — nothing does, except for each other and this very moment.

He smirks at her bold response before he pulls away from her lips an inch away. “Kinky. You want to let the whole city know that you’re mine? Is that what you want?” Lloyd whispers.

She nods mindlessly. “Mhm. It is,” she whispers back, her hands moving to the front of his pants before popping open the button easily.

Lloyd grabs her hands and holds them tight between their bodies. “Eager, are we? I haven’t even gotten you ready yet.” He teases her.

She shakes her head. “I don’t need that. I can take it. I can take you.” She insists.

He releases her hands as he grabs a fistful of her hair and grips it tightly as she leans her head against the window, enjoying the pain he’s giving her. It’s not as painful as it should be for her but she can still feel it and for her, it’s more of a pleasure than pain. She’s accepted long ago that she can never feel pain like anyone else so she turned it into something better — she developed a pain kink. It turns her on when he hurts her psychically.

But Lloyd’s the first guy in her life to ever do this to her, he just knew what she wanted without her even asking him to do it and he knows that she could take it. All the other guys were too gentle. She hated it. But not with Six, that’s different. They have something entirely special together and it’s not just about sex for them, not that they’ve ever done it yet.

Lloyd leans into her ear as his free hand moves down from her breast to her stomach until it stops at her cotton shorts and he reaches down to her panties, getting inside as he feels her wet cunt. “I need to taste you, sweetheart — properly taste you. I’ve been dreaming about it ever since we met.” He whispers inside her ears and she gasps softly at the feeling of his hand inside her.

Elle lifts her tank top up and takes it off completely, throwing it onto the floor somewhere. She’s not wearing a bra since she thought that she was going to get ready for bed earlier. So this is the first time Lloyd’s seen her bare tits. Even Six hasn’t seen her fully naked yet.

He lets his eyes wander around her body and takes a second for himself to examine it. Her body is pretty fit since she’s strong and all that. But she doesn’t have abs, just an average flat stomach. She can’t seem to ever gain weight with her condition so her body will look the same all the time, no matter what. She can never grow. His eyes then drift down to her tits. He focuses on them more — her beautiful tits that he’s been fantasizing about it this whole time.

His hand releases her hair and goes down to her breasts, grasping them tightly together as she lets out a soft moan at that. His fingernails digs into her tits until it bleeds and she moans even louder at that. He swipes the blood off of her before her skin heals again and he licks the blood from his fingers while she watches him do that. She’s having a little déjà vu when they were back at that bar and he was licking her cum off of his fingers.

And now she has a blood kink.

“I know that you’ve seen my ass naked. Six told me.” She breathes out. She can barely think right now and this is what comes out of her mouth.

Lloyd’s eyes look up at her. “Really? Well, what can I say? You have an amazing ass and that was a great view…” he comments.

She rolls her eyes, smirking. “Asshole.”

He gets even closer to her face. “But it turns you on anyway. I turn you on, Elle. Remember that.” He retorts as he takes her shorts off, leaving her with only her panties on.

Her smirk turns wider. "And I make you hard every single day, Hansen.” She retorts back as she moves her hands to rest on his chest before she rips his expensive polo shirt off easily with both of her hands, revealing his big and muscular body.

She takes a moment to let her eyes observe his shirtless body. There’s some tattoos on his chest that she certainly wasn’t expecting to see. His six-pact abs are really fucking perfect and she could drool just by the sight of this. She didn’t know that he was so fit under all those ridiculous fancy shirts of his. She forgot that he also had a lot of training and he does missions that requires fighting as well, like Six. She's not exactly surprised, she knew that he was packing underneath, but her hatred for him wanted to make her forget that she finds him sexy.

He’s not even mad that she ruined his $300 polo shirt that he brought from this country, it was way more expensive here because it was imported from the country he used to buy it in, which pissed him off so much . But he just got even more hard. If she was any other girl, he would’ve gotten mad and immediately left her. But she's not any other girl he's been with — she's way more important to him than some stupid shirt that he could buy again and again.

Lloyd scoffs at that, looking down at his ruined shirt before his eyes dart to hers again, his gaze darkens. He holds her neck and grips it harshly as she smirks again. “Guess we both have an addiction for each other, huh?” he whispers.

She nods her head against the window. “Take your pants off, Lloyd. Or else I’ll rip it off too.” She lightly threatens him with that knowing innocent smile of hers.

He shakes his head. "Not yet. I said I wanted to taste you first, right?” He reminds her before covering her mouth with his, kissing her deeper than earlier as his teeth bites into her lower lip again, making it bleed a lot. She moans against his mouth, leaning even closer to him but he pulls away from her, breaking the kiss.

He loves teasing her and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop. He likes seeing her reaction to it and enjoys it all the time.

She pouts as he predicted and he lets out a soft huff of a laugh. Lloyd slowly gets down on his knees, kneeling in front of her while his eyes stay on her. His fingers toy with the fabric of her panties just to tease her again.

He looks up at her. "I want you to let out those pretty sounds as much as you want, okay? Let all of them hear. I don’t care.” Lloyd tells her, softly.

She nods at him. He smirks at that. “Good girl. I like it when you’re obeying me. Not like what you did today.” He retorts.

She huffs. “I don’t want to talk about today.”

“Good. Me neither.” Lloyd agrees with her before his hands touch her inner thighs, “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.” He whispers against her skin, sending goosebumps on it.

She does what she’s told, spreading her legs slowly and getting wider a little. He takes her panties off and leaves them down on her ankles. He gets his face closer to it as he swipes his tongue across her wet and glistening cunt. She throws her head back, letting out a soft gasp and moan at the same time.

Lloyd looks up at her again, wanting to see her face. “Eyes on me, Elle. You look away and I’ll stop.” He tells her as she looks down at him, her chest breathing heavily.

“Look at you. All wet just for me.” He taunts her, letting his eyes wander down her mess and she’s dripping around her legs and staining the floor, as well. She’s gonna have to clean that up later.

She lets out a breathy moan as his fingers touch her cunt before he inserts two fingers inside of her at once, making her gasp loudly at that. She could take it. He knows she can.

“You can take it,” Lloyd husks, twisting his fingers in her before adding another finger and she hits her head against the window, letting out another loud moan. “That’s it. Take it like a fucking champ,” he echoes his previous words before to her that he said today before the mission.

Ding.

She was too blind in her own pleasure to even bother to hear anything. It's one of the reasons why she likes sex so much and makes it her coping mechanism, because she could get distracted and forget everything, even if it's just for a while.

The familiar sound of the elevator announcing that it’s about to open immediately startles them. The elevator is at the far side of the living room but anyone could see the whole thing from there.

Six casually walks out of it with his eyes looked down, extremely exhausted after that long debrief with Denny in front of a laptop and then some of the field agents engaging in a conversation with him about fighting techniques and suggested weapons that he so wanted to get out of. He finally got out of it and he was ready to come back home, get ready for bed and sleep in with Elle.

He certainly was not expecting the view right in front of him now when his eyes finally look up.

She’s fully naked and Lloyd’s shirtless with his pants button open and he’s going down on her with his fingers still inside her. This is the first time he’s ever seen her naked and he wasn’t expecting it to go like this.

“Shit…” she mutters under her breath as Lloyd turns around to see Six.

Six is speechless. He’s frozen, standing still in the foyer. He’s not mad or disappointed at the both of them. He’s just really surprised. Shocked. Stunned. And maybe even a little bit turned on.

“Hey, you’re back. How was the debrief?” Lloyd casually asks him as he puts her panties back on and grabs her shorts and tank top from the floor. He helps her put her shorts on first before standing up and putting back her tank top on.

Six finally has the courage to take a step forward and proceed to walk into their living room. “Uhm, it was long and tiring.” He responds.

Elle shoots him an apologetic look as he stands beside Lloyd. “Six, I’m so sorry—”

He frowns. “What are you sorry for? I’m not mad, Elle. You know that we were about to tell him, anyway. I just wasn’t expecting you to do it yourself.” Six softly says in a gentle tone.

“I know, I’m sorry. We promised that we were going to do it together and then I just went and did it behind your back.” She apologizes again.

She has a bad habit of apologizing to people over and over again even though most of the time, it’s not her fault. She just always thinks it is hers.

Lloyd frowns. “Stop apologizing, Elle. I told you he’s okay with it and he is. Right?” he looks back at him for confirmation.

Six nods at him. “Yeah, I am. I’m the one who’s sorry for interrupting you because now it’d be awkward to continue.” He confirms.

She lets out a snort. “Yeap. It would be. Well, now that we’re all here…wanna go watch a movie and make it less awkward for all three of us?” Elle suggests.

They both nod at her. Six’s lips slowly form into a small smile. Lloyd gives her a genuine half smile. They’re both slightly a little bit content, somehow.

***

“I don’t like watching movies. It’s a waste of my time.” Lloyd grumbles as they all sit together in one of their couches, cozily in front of the TV.

She’s in the middle of them, leaning her head on Six’s shoulder and resting her legs on Lloyd’s thighs. She has her blanket from home, spread across all of them. The TV is on as she’s holding the remote control, ready to play her top favorite movie.

She giggles, shaking her head. “Well, it’s a shame. Because I’m going to make you watch my favorite movies, anyway.”

Lloyd huffs frustratedly. “Seriously? We could be doing so many other better things right now.” He continues to complain before he turns to her, slipping his hand under their blanket and placing it on her inner thighs, teasing her.

She frowns at him, but not exactly complaining of his hand placement. “Oh, come on! Just watch the damn movie.” She argues.

Six quietly chuckles, leaning his mouth into her ears. “He’s still frustrated that he didn’t get the chance to fuck you,” he softly jokes but he’s not exactly whispering.

Lloyd immediately looks at him, blinking at him offended. “At least I saw her naked first.” He retorts back, even harsher.

She shakes her head. “Stop, both of you.” She says, turning to look at both of them at once, “Look, I know we haven’t really talked about it yet, but I’m positive that this could work. We could work. I mean, there’ll still be a few things we need to work out, obviously, but we could solve all that tomorrow and the other tomorrow because we’re stuck here all together for a few months. So, let’s all just enjoy this movie and not think about other serious stuff for tonight.” Elle states with a tired smile on her lips.

She’s always been positive about everything. It’s her specialty. Even when she’s pessimistic about something, deep down, she still manages to be positive about it. She’s not actually sure that this will work. She’s even scared that it won’t, but she's tugging away that thought for now to not ruin this moment.

Six nods. Lloyd hums in response.

“We do need to set a schedule, though. About sharing…you.” Lloyd suggests.

She chuckles. “Yeah, right. Not gonna happen.”

Six lets out a soft huff of laughter before planting a long kiss on her cheek. She looks into his eyes and she leans onto him, pressing her lips against his without having to say anything, she already knew what he wanted.

Lloyd stares at them, examining closely how they kiss. Six goes really gentle on her and so does she. There’s still passion in their kiss but it’s just very…vanilla for him. When he and Elle kiss, it’s rough and harsh and kinky as the whole world suddenly stops just for them. It’s so different compared to Six and her. But it’s a good thing, she gets to have two choices. Gentle and rough.

He clears his throat, hoping to stop them from eating each other’s faces out but they’re still kissing. She lazily kisses him as he sets a really slow rhythm that she just gladly follows. They’re kissing like two teenagers who just learned how to kiss so it’s extremely slow.

Lloyd frowns, grabbing her face with both of his hands as they forcefully break their kiss. “We’re still gonna watch the movie or—” he gets cut off by Elle kissing his lips roughly, stealing the oxygen right out of his lungs and he lets out a soft moan before she pulls away from him, breaking the kiss.

Six chuckles at that. “I think we should probably watch the movie or else we’ll spend the whole night trying to steal her for a kiss,” he remarks. He’s not wrong.

She laughs softly, nodding her head. “Yep. I agree. Though, I’d still like that very much. I think it’s hot when you both try to compete to have me. We should use that for our future roleplay.” she teases him.

Lloyd rolls his eyes. “Roleplay is for weirdos,” he states.

“I know. I was joking. But, I thought that you’d be more into that considering how kinky you are.” Elle assumes. She knows he’s rough just by making out with him twice. She can also sense that he enjoys being rough as much as she does.

Six is quiet, paying close attention to this conversation that he just grew interested in. He usually doesn’t really want to hear what they both say have to each other since most of the time, they always bicker and fight and insult each other. He's just glad that he won't have to hear that shit on a daily basis anymore. If they fuck any sooner, their little fights will reduce eventually.

He snorts, squinting his eyes a little. “You think I’m kinky? Why, because of how rough I am with you?” Lloyd asks her, genuinely.

She nods. “Yeah, exactly. But I like it.”

Lloyd smirks at that. “Oh. Guess I’m not the only kinky one here. What about Six? Is he kinky?” he asks, out of pure curiosity.

She giggles, not knowing how to answer his question. Six looks at him weirdly. “Why are you asking?” he asks back.

Lloyd shrugs. “Curiosity.”

“Uhm, I guess? You know that we haven’t…so I wouldn’t really know.” She responds, clearing her throat to change the topic. “But anyway, I think that I should just sleep in my own room tonight until we figure out some things.” Elle declares to them.

He frowns. “We don’t have any problems.”

She raises her brows. “Of course we do? Lloyd, you commited mass murder for me. That’s a fucking problem. We need to talk about that, seriously. Tomorrow. I’m too tired to talk about it now.”

Six frowns confusedly, turning to him. “Wait, you did what?” he asks him.

Lloyd’s lips form a thin line. “Remember those guys who shot you and Elle and then tried to kidnap her as well? I did a bit of digging and found where they lived, a few days ago. I brought some of the agents with me who wouldn’t tell Denny and then we…got rid of them.” He explains.

Six sighs. “Lloyd. You could’ve told me first.” He protests.

He nods, agreeing with him. “I know. I’ll do that next time.” He casually says.

Elle frowns. “What? No. There won’t be a next time because you can’t be doing that anymore. I’m serious.” She scolds him.

Lloyd silently looks at Six. They both know that she hasn’t gotten used to that yet. Murder. Death. It’s not her world yet. But soon enough, it will be, no matter what and none of them can help her. They feel bad for her, though. She doesn’t even know what she’s getting herself into. They can’t tell her or warn her because that’s kind of the first rule in the agency, is that they don’t tell anyone how bad it actually is.

She’s way too naïve. Even innocent, sometimes. She’s lived in a bubble her whole life and she’s gotten out of it the moment she stepped into that bar and met them. That’s right when she got out of her bubble.

Six nods at her. “You’re right. There are a few things that we still need to talk about.”

She smiles faintly. “I’m sorry, I know that I told you that I’m going to sleep in your room tonight…”

“Then, sleep in his room tonight.” Lloyd interjects.

Six shakes his head at him. “No. It’s okay. I think it’s better that you sleep in your own room.” He softly says, pressing a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Hm. Less temptations, right?” Lloyd teases him.

She rolls her eyes playfully, turning to him. “Yes, Lloyd. Because sex doesn’t solve problems. It just distracts us for a while.” Elle says to him.

She’s an expert when it comes to psychology and sex. It’s been a part of her life until now so she wanted to learn about it and she’s mastered it now. She knows that distractions are never the solution to a couple’s problem. It eventually distracts them too much and they never even get to solve the problem. And most of the time, it’ll become a bigger problem when they have unresolved problems.

She doesn’t want to have problems with Lloyd or Six. She wants this to be right and perfect and good. She’s had too many problems with relationships in the past and never got to have a single happy one. Well, it was mostly because she’s damaged. She has had so many issues and trauma that no guy has ever been capable enough to handle it, to handle her. But she knows that they’re both perfectly capable of handling her.

Lloyd’s lips stretched into a smirk, staring down at her soft lips as he remembered how good she tasted like. Now he’s the tempted one. She’s too fucking addicting for him. “It does solve some problems if you’re satisfied after,” he teases her.

She lifts her brows. “Really? Well, we could try that—” she says as his smirk turns into an almost smile and he leans forward onto her. “Later. When we’ve solved our current problems.” She adds.

Lloyd sighs deeply, throwing his head back in disappointment as he groans. “You’re going to give me blue balls, Elle.” He complains.

Six laughs quietly as she giggles out loud. “Then I’ll heal you! It’s kind of my job for the CIA. If you both get hurt, then I have to heal you guys.” She says, practically.

“I think he’d like that very much seeing as you have to touch the wounded body part in order to heal it.” Six teases him, his lips tugging into an easy smile.

Lloyd looks back at her, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “Really? You know what, I think I do need you to heal me.”

Elle laughs again, shaking her head as she slaps his arm. “No, you don’t! You just need a kiss.” She smiles through her words before leaning onto him, cupping his face as she presses a soft kiss on his lips.

His forehead leans onto hers as he sighs softly. “You’re right.” He murmurs, “You always are, sunshine.” Lloyd whispers at her face before pulling away from her so he doesn’t get more tempted to kiss her again.

Her lips stretch into a warm smile. “I know I am.” She says before quickly planting a kiss on his cheek and pulling away from him to lean closer onto Six.

Six is still quietly smiling at them, allowing himself to enjoy this moment for just this one time. He kisses her temple and puts an arm around her. “Let’s watch that movie, baby.” His voice is soft and quiet inside her ears but she heard it. Even Lloyd heard it in the quietness of their living room.

Baby. He called her baby.

It’s rare for him to call anyone a pet name. It’s not usually his type. He doesn’t do lovey dovey stuff with anyone. He doesn’t even have a love language — but that’s what he thinks, he actually does have one and it's psychical touch. He likes being touched a lot and showing his affection by touching too. But, he’s never been with anyone long enough to be affectionate and loving to them. He’s never had a relationship, just like Lloyd. It’s always just been quick fucks in a dark alley and one night stands in a cheap hotel, for Six. There wasn't anything special in his life before her, before them.

The word hangs between them as her lips curve into a soft smile and she buries her face into his neck, kissing him there. Lloyd gently grabs her legs and places them on top of his thighs again, straightening them so she’s comfortable enough. He pulls the blanket to cover her more because he knows that she’s a little cold. His hand is still on her inner thigh as she rests her hand on top of his.

Elle pulls her face away from Six before leaning her head on his shoulder, comfortably. She presses the play button on the remote control of their TV and it starts playing her most favorite movie as the light in the living room starts to get dimmed automatically.

It’s dark and quiet as the movie begins and she shifts closer to Six, cuddling closer to him than she already is.

They’re all three comfortable with this and they think that they could stay here forever, just being cuddled up and holed up in here.

They’re oddly and weirdly… happy. Which is really rare for them. Happiness is a luxury in this cruel world.

[boyfhee]

can you tell me what your routine was like when you were in 11th or 12th grade? or basically when you were preparing for neet? alsoo, how did you even do both your school works & your neet?? did you go for any coaching?

Sorry if this seems annoying 😭 i am currently preparing for neet & it's such a headache, like i can barely manage my schoolwork + my neet preparations 😭😭

adding both the asks here because the context was quite similar. i've said this before that you need to find and maintain your own discipline and can't follow someone else's schedule, but i hope my sched can help you navigate around ><

11th & 12th SCHEDULE

the remarkable thing about my senior high was covid ! i never attended a single offline class in those two years— only practicals and exams. that gave me a lot of time to focus on competitive exams, even though i lowkey fucked up my 11th, i was on track the next year.

school work wasn't an issue with online classes. i barely attended those and mostly focused on my coaching institute ! i went to a local coaching, although very reputed, and bought allen's distance learning course for questions. unfortunately, i wasn't able to appear for neet the very year i passed 12th due to a minor surgery. so i took a year to prepare for neet and my schedule was as follows :

6 : 00 am - 7 : 00 am — waking up, going for a walk, exercising, whatever morning routine i had went there. i kept it relatively short because i wanted to put as many hours as possible in studies.

7 : 30 am - 10 : 00 am or 12 : 00 noon — studies ! i usually had my breakfast during that thirty minutes gap between first and second slot. i not, i sat down to study early and got up for breakfast around eight or nine.

12 : 00 noon - 2 : 00 pm — break yayaya >< i watched tv, used socmed and had lunch during this time. again, i wouldn't take this break if i woke up late or got some work that i wasn't able to finish. i left for classes at / around two ^_^

2 : 30 pm - 8 : 30 pm — my classes ! i joined allen last year since it's fifteen minutes to where i live and i needed some sort of guidance to proceed. after my classes, i got back home by nine, sometimes a bit late if i stayed back to discuss a few things with the teachers.

9 : 00 pm - 10 : 00 pm — dinner and rest after classes. tv, phone, or just helping mum in the kitchen if the day was good lmfao. i hate being in the kitchen :/

10 : 15 pm onwards — studies again :> fifteen minutes break to sort get my stuff and all. besides, my dad asks for every update of my day and what i have planned to study the next day etc etc. if my schedule was relaxed, i'd sleep by twelve or twelve thirty but as neet approached, i slept by two and woke up at around eight lmfao TT good thing was, i didn't have classes after february so i followed the same routine except, i started studying at nine after breakfast, till one, got up for lunch, then studies from two to six sometimes seven, an hour break for dinner ( had early dinner during that time ) then studied from either to two at night.

to the anon to asked how i write fics during classes : i had wednesdays off / tests so i used that one day to relax. i usually wrote on wednesdays, sometimes on other days when work load is way less and i mostly queued by posts since i had pre-written ones from when i had time. sometimes, when i finished by studies before 1 am, i took 30 mins to write if i felt like it. besides, my uni was well ... it wasn't my focus. i took biotech and kept it on the side incase i can't do med. lectures were online, no one demanded full attendance, i got notes from friends and only gave tests. my focus were these pre-med classes i attended, and the sched is what i mentioned above.

also, my study hours are higher during classes. i barely have time to write, so i'm not active every single day as you might have noticed before may this year. the time table i mentioned above is an example of timeslots and how i used to manage. 10 hrs avg is now, give and take one or two here and there. also, i never stick to one schedule. i might have exams again this month and i might just dip completely. if not, i won't have to study at all and i might just stay on blr all day.

for neet : juggling between school and coaching can be hard but i don't think i can give appropriate advice since i never had to experience that. if you're in 11th, focus more on coaching ( because 11th science is more difficult imo, and more fundamental when it comes to neet ) and if you're in 12th focus more on school because of boards. the best thing to do is finish chapters ahead of time. say you're learning mechanics in school and thermodynamics in coaching. try to finish thermodynamics from school textbooks as well so you won't have issues when they teach it in school and can focus on what they're teaching in coaching. utilize your breaks and holidays to finish easy chapters, especially biology as a whole and organic and inorganic chem since there's nothing to do except remembering stuff.

this is so long TT i'm sorry and i hope this is helpful even though it's lowkey all over the place .. i'm not as organised as it seems and my sched varies a lot depending upon the day, if i have to go out, tests, etc etc.

[keyh0use]

Your SOA/OBX fanfic is my Roman Empire! And I love your writing, and I can't wait for you to update it!

But I gotta ask what made you come up with the idea? Like just watching both shows around the same time? Or, like, did you have other SOA fanfic ideas in mind? I gotta know your inspiration for it!

Also, thank you for the follow back! ❤️

Sorry, I spam like your posts, too! 😭

oh wow that's so sweet 🥺

SOA is my favorite show and I'm constantly re-watching it, and rafebarry is my favourite ship so they just naturally overlapped in my mind when I was writing about Rafe, Topper and Kelce's dynamic. In fanfiction it's whatever we make it, but he's pretty alone in canon, besides Barry.

So I started imagining what it would be like if he had people all his own, not ones that wanted to get with his sister or wanted his money or wanted his compliance, etc. that he would constantly have to worry about losing. My original rafebarry SOA AU was about Rafe running away to the south side to hide from Ward and being picked up by the scruff of the neck like the lost little kitten he is by Gemma, who loses her shit at a boy a couple years younger than her own being mistreated and well, Clay goes to have a chat with Ward. I never finished it but the idea was Rafe would grow straight into SAMCRO alongside Jax, who was like a big brother. I think under Gemma and Clay he would've been a completely different person, I mean imagine how far Rafe could go with a father (figure) telling him how proud he is of him. In this scenario I wasn't sure which direction to take Barry, though.. I considered making him a Mayan but they aren't as lax with their rules as the Sons, so I don't think that would work. Like I think the Sons would allow Rafe to live quietly with his roommate Barry but other MCs wouldn't. Just my piece.

I gave up on that story and started working on Delicate after listening to White Buffalo - House of the Rising Son from season 4, which screamed SOA Rafe to me. I won't bore you by picking apart all the lyrics but "my sweetheart, he's a rambler. Lord, he rides an old machine." stuck with me, especially because it's sung by another man.

I wasn't sure about the story at first but it was exciting thinking about Barry and Rafe seeing eachother after all those years, so much tension between them that they have no choice but to keep distance or they'll lose it, end up fighting or whatever. They haven't even bumped shoulders or brushed hands or knocked knees. But then Barry's on break getting lunch at some hole in the wall sandwich shop and there's Rafe and some big, scary-ass biker talking and then biker guy leans in and kisses Rafe's temple?! Cradles Rafe's face?! And then all the scenarios I could throw them into; lockdown at the clubhouse is my fav!! just the idea of Barry being holed up with all the Sons families, having no clue what's going on but not being allowed to leave is so 😋😋 like he gets bossed around by rafe a lot in delicate and I actually love it where usually I prefer it the other way around, badass biker Rafe is just different. but also a fundraiser at Barry's garage because his coworkers mom needs treatment and Rafe has the Sons show out for it, which is all fine and cool but there's a girl all over Barry, so Rafe stands off to the side with a scowl while Happy & Tiggy talk about how they'd love to help solve the problem. There were so many outlandish positions I felt comfortable writing them into in this AU which was so fun and refreshing.

It was also a way to work out my own feelings towards Barry's betrayal and the alternative route the show could've taken, where Rafe does time for his crime (despite getting out early, obviously, but that's solely based off being in the MC) and has to deal with how he feels afterwards, about what happened between them and about Barry in general, dodging his father and his past at the same time. While also working out my feelings for SOA, putting my observations into Rafe so I can flesh them out properly, like how significant some of the losses were or how unfair their lives are or the downfall of certain characters.

Thanks for this ask!! I loved getting to talk about this <3 and don't apologize about the spam, I don't mind (:

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

☾ and ★ and ♦ for Beauty! Thank you <3

Thank you for asking about Beauty, Nonny! She's so dear to my heart, and at the moment my only active RP character--and I'm always happy to talk about her.

☾ - sleep headcanon Beauty has been a night owl her whole life...

Which was easy in college because she was usually able to schedule her classes no earlier than 11am. One semester she made the mistake of taking a history class at 8am (because she had enjoyed that professor's class in the past), but when she got cast in Romeo & Juliet (in her dream role), the rehearsals ran until nearly eleven each night--and after, of course, cast & crew traditionally hung out at a local bar (Maggie's) frequented by generations of theatre majors. When the need for better sleep asserted itself--

--and it was too deep in the semester to drop that class--she chose to fail, and took it again the following semester as an afternoon class.

In dating Stephen Strange, she could easily adjust to his proclivity for late nights--but as her job makes her an early riser, she's developed a habit of taking quick power naps on her lunch breaks. Still, there are nights when they are snuggled on the couch together, lights out and watching a movie or a series, that she can't help closing her eyes ('only five minutes!' she tells herself) and nods off because she's not built to burn the candle at both ends.

★ - sad headcanon Alrighty, well...I have two to share; both bittersweet, and one must go under the cut for length of post reasons

When she was a child, the person she loved best in all the world was her maternal grandfather, Gramps. As his only granddaughter, she was his princess, but he never treated her like just a kid. He listened closely to her childish prattlings and always encouraged her imagination. He guided her to become an avid reader by reading works to her above her grade level, every time they were together. Brought her books she might never have sought out for herself, and that fed her romantic nature and her thirst for tales of adventure. She had plenty of friends at school and in the neighborhood, but Beauty always thought of Gramps as her bestest. He passed away suddely when she was twelve; it was her first encounter with losing someone, and it hit her hard. But she took consolation in the piles of books he left behind for her, most of which still occupy the shelves of whatever appartment she lives in as she journeys forward on life's adventure.

And the second, sad, little headcanon has to do with sleep as well...

Naturally, being the significant other of a much in-demand Hero and Protector of Earth has some downsides, but all along, Beauty tried her damndest to roll with them. When you love someone, you make adjustments and try to make their life a bit better even if it means some personal sacrifice. When Stephen is away (more and more and more of late) she can't help but worry, especially when he's out of contact for long stretches. And that eventually affects her ability to fall asleep as her imagination kicks into overdrive. So she discovered a little trick to help. She either wears one of his t-shirts or hoodies to bed, to be wrapped up in his scent, or sleeps with the pillow he uses when he stays over, snuggly in her arms. She focuses on his scent and their happiest memories, and in time she calms enough to finds herself drifting off.

It's worked for a while, now--but he's been either gone so long or been too distant when they are together, that the scent on his pillow has faded away to nearly nothing.

((don't look at me that way, you did ask for sad))

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

When something is really, really funny, Beauty can't help that she snorts when she laughs.

Sometimes she's kind of clumsy, which most of her boyfriends have found endearing. Though she is extra careful at work to appear the complete professional, recalling an incident early on in her career where she accidentally got her skirt tucked in her pantyhose in the loo one day, and gave a half a library tour to a group of tourists before she realized she was a mess.

Beauty loves to bake primarily, but she's also a great cook, thanks to the fact that she had five older brothers and took it upon herself to help out her mother in the kitchen even before she started kindergarten. Baking & cooking for someone are key elements in her language of love.

Even though she couldn't make theatre her career, she still stays active in whatever way she can, most often now by organizing little plays for her reading groups to perform for parents & friends, based on the materials they are reading. And she's felt blessed when her little ones have gone on to middle school and come back to invite her to the plays they do, often telling her they would never have had the courage to try out if it hadn't been for the fun of the plays she did with them.

Beauty's a sucker for good, old-fashioned romantic comedies, either plays or movies, and loves the modern adaptations of Shakespeare's comedies in movies such as 10 Things I Hate About You.

Anon, please know that I'm truly grateful for the chance to write about my sweet Beauty. I miss writing her terribly, and this did my heart much good!💗

HEADCANON MEME

[cheerscoops]

I was tagged by the always lovely @sexybabystevie for this get to know your mutuals game. Thanks for the tag, Em! <3

Name(real or alias): Anna, but I've had people call me Banana my whole life - hence the userbanana tag

Age: 31

Country you live in: US

Fandoms: stranger things is the only fandom that I'm really vocally a part of at the moment, but I also love scream, the princess bride, broadway, taylor swift, and books

Why are you on tumblr(writer or reader or both): both. more writing than reading lately though

Favorite thing about yourself: I seem to be good at making the words go most of the time

Something you think you are known for: being the queen of angst and the co-captain of cheerscoops

Who are you in a friend group(partier, mom, talkative, etc): maybe the mom friend? I tend to be the one taking care of everyone else a lot. Just being the designated driver and making sure everyone stays fed and hydrated.

Who do you love the most: the joes <3 I literally cannot choose between the two of them most days

What brought you to tumblr in the first place: I made friends with some people in the eddie munson cult on facebook, and they encouraged me to join tumblr to post the steddie fics I was writing

Is there something you regret doing: not that I can think of

Top five songs: this is so hard for me omfg, but I'm just gonna go with the five songs I've been listening to the most lately - "end of beginning" - djo, "yeah sure whatever" - ben schwartz (don't judge me lol), "here comes the sun" - the beatles, "kamikaze" - jd eicher, "can I shower at yours" - amy shark

If you could go anywhere where would you go: I desperately want to go back to Scotland. it's my most favorite place I've visited, and I want to be back there. also, the cliffs of moher for purely fandom-related reasons

What is your hobby: writing fanfic, video games, literally all the crafty things, reading

Any tv shows you watching: I'm in the middle of a stranger things rewatch actually lol I finished season 2 right before I went to bed last night. other than that, I watch an episode of parks and rec every day during my lunch break at work, and I finally started s2 of the bear with my family last night!!! my biggest obsession right now though is claim to fame. I can't wait for the two hour long finale tonight!!!

What movie did you last watch: I mean, I fell asleep watching spree last night as I do every night, but the last movie I actually watched in full was the super mario bros movie which was surprisingly better than I expected it to be

Last thing you read(book, fanfic, etc): I've been in a reading slump lately just because I haven't had much time for it while getting ready to move, so I think the last thing I read was the second part of @roykentt's cheerscoops fic "tied me to you"

Last text message you got: from my friend who typically hosts our monthly gaming sessions: "no worries!"

Last text message you sent: texted to my friend from the last question lol: "Gonna be slightly late. Tried to get some packing done this morning and lost track of the time. I'll be leaving to head your way in the next 5 minutes"

Any pets: a pitbull/hound mix of some sort named Bogart. he's 107 lbs of baby who thinks he's a lap dog and I love him muchly

anyone who sees this and wants to do it can say that I tagged them. I feel like I'm being annoying when I tag too many people, but I'd love it if any of my moots did this <3