#posting from my fandom blog bc this was super fun even if it was on the edge gross and wholesome

[drawnaghht]

ok, my sibling @anshiel pointed this out today and I didn't notice it before but,

"poolverine" is a perfect ship name. bc in estonian it's "half-bloodied" which is just what they are 80% of the time

[stoopid-turtle]

the art of being a skeptical turtle

So this is a personal post more about my experience as a turtle. If you just want to get to the fun list of candies I totally buy into regardless of evidence, just skip down to where the asterisks are. (Consider this like a recipe attached to a blog post)

For those interested in the whole nerdery going on here, let me share that I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with bjyxszd. I wrote a whole series of posts about it to get my thoughts in order. Now I'm fully on the turtle train, but I find myself skeptical of some candies.

This is gonna get super-nerdy so hold on to your butts.

I'm a generally skeptical person. I come by it honestly. My parents literally subscribed to Skeptical Inquirer and Skeptics magazines. They (well, my dad mainly) were capital-S Skeptics. My family talked about logical fallacies, perceptual oddness, and the fallibility of memory over the dinner table.

Please don't back away. I know self-identified Skeptics are typically insufferable. I didn't know this as a kiddo, though, so the whole "thinking about things skeptically" became just my default way of processing stuff. Nowadays, I wouldn't call myself a Skeptic in the way that some in a particularly obnoxious subculture do. But I do tend to be a skeptical sort. I just don't...you know...think it makes me smarter/better/cooler than other folks.

(Actually, it makes me way less cool bc I can single-handedly ruin a fun party by expressing skepticism about something. Nobody likes a wet blanket. I know this)

My bestie in high school always called me Scully to his Mulder. He would believe anything he saw or read, whereas I didn't. Usually, I was right. Like when he totally thought that the Blair Witch Project was real found footage (It's not. Nobody thinks it is now, I know, but it was part of the promo at the time). On occasion, he was right. Like when he told me that some gray clouds we had overheard were from wildfires in Mexico. I scoffed bc, really, we weren't that close to Mexico. But he was right and I learned a valuable lesson on large-scale weather phenomenon. (He's still wrong about there being a picture of a light bulb in the pyramids though)

So, yeah, that's just how I process things. It's second-nature for me. But I reached a point with my generally skeptical outlook where I considered 2 things to see whether I really cared if people were buying into something I thought was false.

The stakes. If a person believes X, what does that lead to? If I don't believe Y, even though it's true, what does that lead to?

There's a whole bunch of political stuff that heightens the stakes. To take a ridiculous (and outdated one), when I was growing up, there was a common story that AIDS hopped from apes to humans because a gay man had sex with an ape and then had sex with other humans. Thus, the AIDS epidemic.

The stakes of other people buying into that homophobic nonsense were (and are) life and death. (If you believe that...uh...bye?) It's something that's worth me being the obnoxious Scully if I hear someone buying into it.

The stakes of, say, my high school bestie believing that The Blair Witch Project was real found footage was...nothing. It just made him want to see the movie more. Nobody was hurt. It didn't matter.

I argued with him at the time, but I probably wouldn't anymore.

The stakes for believing that bjyxszd, here in international fandom, are perhaps higher than the Blair Witch thing. But only barely. If somebody believes in a particular rumor/candy that I don't think is real, it affects literally nothing. We're both still turtles. We have a lot more in common than we do difference with regards to YiZhan. Likewise, the effect of me not believing a candy that may be true is nil. Gg and dd are not impacted in any way.

(I think things may be different for c-fans, but that's not at all a thing I'm qualified to delve into. I can only account for myself in my context)

2. The other thing I consider is the context. That is, how likely are we to know the actual truth?

Scientific claims have a method to test them (and claims that can't be tested are just...not something science addresses). Claims about current events can be researched using journalism methods or whatever. For that homophobic AIDS story, there's ways to prove that it's not true. For the Blair Witch thing...well, the actors went on the talk show circuit for promo so, you know, the real footage myth was quickly lifted.

Celebrities exist in a different context. Like most people, they have a private life that is not accessible to people on the outside. If they choose to open up about that life, then cool. But if they don't or can't do so (like is the case with YiZhan), then they'll try to keep their private life out of sight of fans.

It really hit home to me when I was doing the bts thing how little of dd and gg we saw in the Untamed bts. We see even less of them now. I'm at peace with the fact that I just will never know much about these guys (I wrote a whole post about it). But the fact that there's a big mass of the unknown means that the possibilities are endless. We don't know and we'll never know.

So I don't have any more authority on anything gg or dd related than anybody else does. So why would I attempt to question or dismiss candies that other people find compelling? At the end of the day, there is a truth, but it's not accessible to us, so anything we come up with is just extrapolation.

Which is fine. It's fun. I think there's real stuff going on. (If I didn't, I wouldn't be here) But it means there's no real point arguing about the specific candies.

(and to be clear, I don't see turtles doing this, really. so this is all just me reiterating my own approach to things bc I'm a person who processes thoughts through long tumblr posts apparently) (and it's not a reaction to any particular candy. this post has been in my drafts for ages)

I think I'm a hard sell on a lot of candies, and I'm definitely the fuddy-duddy who just squints and asks a bunch of obnoxious questions about things.

But I ask those questions of myself and don't feel the need to annoy other turtles with them because, honestly, we're all in this boat together. Some candies appeal to particular turtles more than others, and I think we all kinda have our personal preferences for which ones resonate with us. I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade, especially as we all have way more in common just bc we all believe in bjyxszd.

This is all a long-winded way to explain how I think about candies, honestly. Or more, how I assess candies that are new-to-me and figure out whether to buy into it or not. With anything involving bjyx, I also leave a lot of room for there just being an unknown and unknowable. Again, the stakes are low, and if I'm wrong about any particular candy (in either direction), then...oh well? It affects literally nothing.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

So here's the fun part! The list of candies that I fully admit don't have a whole lot going for them (by my stupidly exacting standards) but that I totally buy into just because I like them.

Basically all lip-readings, but especially this one

(if you don't want to click thru, this is the moment from the Nanjing farewell concert where dd and gg seem to flirt about photos while on-stage)

Okay, I know, rationally, that lip-readings are always gonna be shaky. I mean, I've seen Medieval Land Fun-Time World. If I'm honest with myself, I know that the lip-readings are basically fluffy candy.

But whatever. I choose to believe them. This moment, especially, I adore (and it does come with dd posting a bare-faced photo after!). I think their big grins while openly flirting with each other on stage just jazzes me enough to pretend.

It's all true. I totally believe it.

Related to this is:

2. Any and all CPN about dd and/or gg seeing turtle signs and smiling or otherwise reacting positively.

I've seen such CSI-worthy analysis of sight-lines to try to establish with precision where dd or gg is looking at the moment they smile/look happy. I have no idea how much any of it holds up, and it's not worth the bother to try to confirm any of it.

But whatever. I like it. I believe it. I'll probably believe it everytime it happens.

3. Advanced Bombology.

So there's some things that aren't in dispute here. We definitely know that gg suddenly cut an Olay commercial ad from a 2 day shoot to a 1 day shoot, and it's a reasonable assumption that he did so to be at the DDU anniversary episode with GG.

The rest is a little fuzzy. The video details dd being kinda grouchy in interviews before the DDU shoot, and it also shares an anon rumor from a person who claimed to overhear dd in a studio restroom arguing on the phone with gg. This rumor came out a year after the event.

The rest of the video is some interpretation of the boys' behavior/mood in the DDU anniversary ep.

So, like, I get that anon rumors a year on maybe aren't the most solid evidence for anything. But whatever, I buy it.

And the interpretation of the boys' mood seems true to me, especially the moment where the interviewer asks gg if they'd discussed his visit ahead of time. Gg def does a sweatdrop, panic pause, look at dd moment and waits for dd's lead to answer. I find a lot of mood interpretation from videos a bit much, but this feels real.

In fact, the whole thing just feels real. Maybe that's why it's easy for me to buy. It feels like a real argument a couple would have.

4. The 5/22 fight during CQL shooting.

I talked about this back when I was doing the bts in order.

In tl;dr, dd gives gg a bit of a brush-off response to something. gg responds by cold shouldering him and then doing some passive aggressive sniping about how dd doesn't want gg to care about him. dd gets upset, then he apologizes, then they go on to watch something on one of their phones.

The basis of this one is some gossip plus a video shot from a distance that requires reading lips. So we know that's already fuzzy, and I know I approached this with some skepticism in my earlier post. That was just to be rational about things so as to be honest with myself.

In truth, I buy it. I buy the argument. I buy the lip-reading. Again, it feels real.

5. GG's card to turtles

This is one of those frustrating ones I'm having trouble refinding. Darn.

The upshot, and I'm going from memory, is that there's a CPN about a card written to turtles ostensibly from gg. This came with some handwriting comparison to try to match the signature to gg's known signature.

This isn't something I'd place bets on, because...seriously, it's so fuzzy.

But in my heart, I believe it for no reason other than that I want to.

6. DD as gg's mystery driver

Okay, there's a couple such incidents. One quite recently. Where gg's driver is mysteriously masked such that you can't see their face.

And, truth, it could be literally anybody under there. But for me, it's dd. No need to give me painstaking comparisons of hands or whatever. I'm fully in on this one.

7. The bone necklace.

Ack, don't hate me for this one!

When I was doing my posts about stuff that had convinced me that gg and dd were still together, I stumbled with the bone necklace. To me, it's the main thing that convinces me, but if I'm honest, it really is kinda a leap of faith thing.

With the ox-head necklace, we have the fancam footage to back it up as being from gg. All we have for the bone necklace is the timing and the precedent of dd having already worn a necklace from gg. That's shaky, really.

In fact, I think I saw some other dd CP claiming the bone necklace as theirs (I saw them also claiming the Leica camera). I think they're wrong, but I don't have any solid proof to say so.

I think the most I can say is that there are much harder evidences that gg and dd are still together. But these typically involve massive privacy violations so I'm not eager to spread them around (I kinda hate that I stumble upon them, tbh). But in any case, it has me convinced, so if I already know gg and dd are a couple, then of course the bone necklace is related.

But on its own, the bone necklace is a leap.

Okay, that all said, since I (finally) had a photo of dd last time I posted, I'm dropping a random gg photo here. Not my favorite, cause pls don't make me choose, but one that hangs out my head throughout the days.

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero�� go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[sister-lucifer]

You're so fucking hypocritical, imagine not letting people who ship anime sisters on your blog, but write about woundfucking. Lmaaaoooo

siiiigh this again ok

so 1. you know a dni isn’t personal right? people put things on their dni for a lot of reasons. plenty of people have “nsfw blogs dni” or “[x fandom] blogs dni” on their page. it’s not me telling you to kill yourself, it’s me saying “i’m not comfortable seeing or engaging with that content and i don’t want people who make it following me.” if someone has “antis dni” in their bio i block and move on because that’s exactly what they wanted. my blog is my space, just like your blog is YOUR space, and we’re both allowed to curate our own blogs however we want. tis the joy of the internet. i don’t wanna see people talking about wanting to fuck children, even if they’re fictional, so i take steps to make sure i don’t. you will NEVER find me in someone’s inbox yelling at them like this. block. and. move. on.

and 2. i’ve said this before so i’ll say it again: people are allowed to create whatever they want. i’ll literally never try to stop people from making things

HOWEVER

i do believe we as creators have a responsibility to make sure we are not causing harm with our content. my issue is not with what people make, but it is instead the way that proship creators will often showcase abusive and harmful dynamics as cutesy normal fun with no attempt to warn people who may be triggered or negatively influenced by that content (i.e. if you draw adult x child ship art and just put it out there for anyone to see, and an actual child comes across it and it normalizes the idea in the child’s head, that is on you.). the extra issue is that this sort of content is super prevalent in fandoms of children’s shows, which is a problem for obvious reasons; children are exponentially more likely to come across it. all of my works are tagged IMMENSELY to make sure no one comes across it who isn’t looking for it

if you want my full views on the matter, you can reference the links in THIS POST plus a bit of expansion HERE

but mostly, i want to emphasize my first point;

anyone is allowed to put whatever they want on their DNI bc it is YOUR responsibility to curate your own online experience. literally that is all i am doing.

[tarnussy]

Ok I have to ask about the tags on the Malenia fandom post... How the hell did they try to make Godrick a pedophile

There are 2 occasions that stood out to me: According to the first one, he is a pedophile and a rapist because the dead dragon didn't consent to be grafted (like???). Then there was mention of the grafted scions as well, tho that was in a separate post if I remember correctly. (Of course, creepy kids when Godrick -> bad!!! Creepy kids when Rennala -> good) This wasn't on a small account either, and like so, a whole eco chamber decided it's now canon. Based on who this person's fav character is, this assumption was extremely hypocritical. They called out this behavior from fans against their fav character (which was right 100% to call them out) but then, they turned around and did the same behavior they resented so much, this time against people who like Godrick (I assume bc usually his fans stay quiet or just ignore it, or are bullied off the site). Second one: person had a client at work who was overly kind in a smarmy way, so he was labeled creepy and "must have been a pedophile" all based on vibes, and then according to that logic they thought Godrick was one too simply based on their personal vibes (and seeing him in the worst faith possible). They had a feeling he was like that, and so people who like him were no different (according to this person). Second person was actively making the fandom as unenjoyable as possible. Their genuine goal was to make fandom experience fucking vile for anyone who liked Godrick (or anyone that liked a character they didn't like, all which I happen to like). And not just this person but a whole group of their besties who flocked to this behavior like flies to a pile of steaming shit. Just because why not, I suppose. I do feel like my experience with ER would have been much better if I never checked the tags or the fandom ever. Which is hard bc I am a creator myself and I used to monitor main tags because of my own posts as well. Before becoming an active blog, I liked nearly every character (M@lenia was my favourite female character back then!) but I'm unfortunately the type of person whose brain holds onto bad memories a lot and also associates characters with bad apples like this. And M@lenia's apples almost all seem super fucking bad. Very similar to stans of Alcin@ Dimitr3scu, same level of witch hunts as well. At this point there is no way I could ever look at M@lenia and not immediately think of all the disgusting, hypocritical and unfair behavior a big portion of her fans have been doing for years. Which is sad bc I think she is a cool character and I think she has chill fans as well who are nice. Too bad they are overpowered by the most loud ones. And it has an extreme level of irony bc this same type of fan is the one to scream into the void how awful Radahn fans are. I can 100% tell, since I am on every single social media for my ER accounts and interact with people everywhere, that Radahn fans are nowhere near on the same level. Sure, they have their arguments or even slightly problematic behavior but it's never at a level of personal witch hunts and ganging up on others. I know a couple of people who (similarly to me) liked both Godrick and M@lenia at some point, and just altogether left the fandom because of the constant attacks and arguments her fans were doing. So this is a way bigger issue than it seems. And ofc anyone who ever dared to speak about it was either witch hunted or ganked in the tags. I had multiple people hit me up in privately about this back when it was going down, so that definitely reassured me it wasn't just my observation. And, you know, fandom should be fun. Why be a petty asshole for no reason? And to a level that is very much harmful in real life? So their "it's just a game" shit-ass argument when you call out this behavior has no place when it comes to organized harassment that affects people in real life. And somehow it's always the perps who cry wolf. And everyone else who is affected should stay quiet in fear of witch hunt against them. You see this wall of text above? This is me keeping it short. Only scraping the surface here.

[kadextra]

so on a whim I started reading omniscient reader’s viewpoint manhwa

..and got hooked on the story so hard that I easily blasted through all available eps in less than a week. istg they put dr*gs in this thing it’s so good???? 😭

[SPOILER WARNING! big ramble ahead. if you’ve never read it, leave this post. consider checking it out you won’t be able to put it down]

lets get this out of the way first.

RAHHHHHH KIM DOKJA….. KIM DOKJA I LOVE YOU

GUYSSSSS 🥺 LISTEN. HE’S SUCH A GOOD PROTAGONIST. MY TRAUMA BOY. MY DUDE WITH THE POWER TO INFODUMP PEOPLE TO DEATH. YOU SELF-SACRIFICING IDIOT. his cunning intelligence makes him super attractive what can I say, I LOVE smart mcs with ambiguous morality and self sacrificial nature

here’s a big ✨shut your mouth✨ to every character who’s said he’s ugly- get your eyes checked, get a job get away from him (I know it’s because of the fourth wall’s filter it’s not their fault I’m just being silly)

the fourth wall is such a cool power to have. the complexity of how it acts based on his perception of fiction vs reality as the reader …. that’s very interesting and well thought out!!! how it lowkey has a consciousness too and it’s so tied into his mental state makes me want to psychoanalyze this guy even more. probably one of the most unique powers I’ve seen created and explored in a story tbh

I think the entire system of how the world works is really well done in general. constellations watching the apocalyptic bloodbath via livestream and sending donos to their favorite little guys shouldn’t work as well as it does and cracks me up so much 😭 (uriel is the best). I enjoy learning about all the irl different fables, history & mythologies too. plus doing my own research is fun! I did a deep dive through the web to learn about dokkaebi folklore lol I’m having a good time

I also related hard to how dokja read TWSA throughout his life, the story was a companion for him. got choked up bc I reflected on how much my own favorite companion stories for years mean to me. there’s been situations I’ve thought “what would (character) do?” dokja saying stuff like “what would joonghyuk do?” felt like I got called out <3 I’d probably be the same as him if my favorite characters suddenly came to life

anyways yeah I caught up with the manhwa looked online and discovered it comes from an already completed novel with over 500 chapters and the manhwa is barely a third into adapting it though it’s been releasing every week for 4 years. and that it’ll take like 10 more years to finish. I then planted my face in my hands and screamed with despair

I’ll shrivel up waiting to see what happens……………heyyy woahhhh.. whats this light of salvation ? the novel file just completed download on my phone ? that’s crazyy wow I opened it ? im scrolling it right now ? omg I’m telling myself in the mirror “pace yourself, try to space your reading out do NOT read too fast” ?

jokes aside im excited, first I’ll take some time to read back through the earlier chapters for extra context of scenes! >:D after I finish doing that…. pls pray for my self-control to try stretching this for as long as possible. I’m pumped to see what happens next with this demon king part so maybe I’ll read along with the manhwa unless I get too impatient heh

to conclude- I had no idea the fandom of orv was so passionate. while closing my eyes to spoilers, I was looking at beautiful fanart and animatics (watched this one and ascended that’s one of my fav rin songs). I can tell how much you guys love the story, there’s always going to be people like me who get interested so keep it up :D if the fandom does end up reading this, ummm *knocks on the door* hi im new

I will likely talk about it more in the future!! tagging under “#kade reads orv” ! might draw fanart on my art blog too bc brainworms <3 happy reading everyone

[evieismol]

Ye Olde Introductory Post

Hi all! I'm Evie, I use she/her pronouns, I'm 24, and I wish I was 3 inches tall. As you may infer from that last line, this is my g/t blog. If you don't know what g/t even is, here's a great post explaining wtf I'm rambling about. If that's what you're here for, great! This blog is going to be a mix of my original writing and art as well as reblogs from other amazing community members in the g/t community (of course).

If you'd like to know what to expect more specifically, keep reading.

What type of content you can expect (and not);

A lot of fluff, angst, and romance. Occasional darker themes and content (more on that under content warnings in a minute), but nothing that's intended as kink content nor explicitly sexual. I'm ace and gt is not a kink for me (no hate to people who feel otherwise though!). I mostly just write and draw things that interest me, from original works to fandoms. Occasional v.ore mentions, I'm not super into it as a thing overall so there's no actual v.ore but the potential is a fun horror/angst trope like "Oh no man eating giants (but they're not)" or "friendly giant is sad bc everyone thinks he's a man eating giant". Regardless, any such mentions will be in content warnings so you can avoid easily. Or find easily, whichever lol. Maybe occasional horror adjacent stories, I write non gt horror on occasion so who knows. Will also be included in content warnings if you're just here for the fluff. Finally maybe occasional "suggestive" content - nothing actually sexual and always between consenting adults but I write romance so there might be a "behind closed doors"/"fade to black" scene at some point. Again, will also be in content warnings. I think that's everything I can think of for potentially objectionable content that might show up; for more on content warning system keep scrolling. If I write something that begets updating this section it shall be updated.

Content warnings;

All of my original works have content warnings at the top for any content I think might reasonably need to have a warning, including swearing, injury, angst, fearplay, etc. I'm additionally planning on, moving forward, adding tags for each content warnings so people that would like to filter by tag can do so as well. If you're planning on sticking around and there's a content warning I'm not currently using but you'd appreciate being used (eg, specific phobias, certain words, etc), let me know via ask or message and I'd be happy to add it! Tumblr and the gt community on here is thankfully small enough that I can reasonably do that

DNI;

Minors!! This is a sfw blog, if you want to follow that's fine BUT I'm in my mid twenties, there's no reason we need to be interacting beyond that. In fact, if you're a minor and you're reading this, be suspicious of any adult who feels otherwise tbh, it's not a good or safe standard to set.

Anyone promoting or subscribing to any kind of bigotry, including transphobes, homophobes, racists, etc

Exclusively nsfw/kink blogs, I'm ace and have trauma and would prefer to not interact. If you just have NSFW content amongst other content this doesn't apply to you, my thought process is just if ur blog is exclusively kink based/NSFW I don't have what you want here and you don't have what I want there so we don't need to interact further lol

Pedophiles, abusers, etc. I have no idea why this sort of person would follow a dni anyways but you will be blocked if you're posting things sexualizing minors or encouraging pedophilia or abuse or it comes out you're messaging kids or something because wtf.

Organization;

My master post for writing and art is here

About me;

♡ I go by Evie

♡ pronouns: she/hers

♡ age: 25

♡ im autistic

♡ im a tiny (in my dreams)

♡ tv shows I like: Loki, Criminal Minds, Scooby Doo (don't get me started)

♡ favorite genres: horror or romance. Polar opposites (except when it's both at once. Love a good Gothic romantic horror. Hate a dark romance tho)

♡ favorite artists: fleetwood Mac, lord huron, hozier

♡ other assorted interests: nature, national parks, spooky season, BEING 3 INCHES TALL

[nanamisflowerfield]

Hey, everyone! I'm so sorry for being away for so long! The last time I was online, was around my birthday and I was super sure that I replied to many of you, but apparently I haven't. I'm so sorry! Really!😭 I was super busy with university and life and so much happened. I'm sorry that I couldn't be online and also finish anything! I promise you all that I try to do something now, that I have a bit more time. But unfortunately, I didn't pass the worst test ever and have to repeat it around my birthday this year and have to learn for it more that I usually do, so I can't really promise to do everything I have planned this year, like finish all requests and WIPs Dx

While I was gone for quite some time, I still was a bit motivated to write (sorry if it wasn't any request or so, but it sometimes take much time to finish them). And then I thought about the words of my dear friend Hana. I should just write them and not prepare anything like the pictures etc and just write it down. And that's what I did! But it's from a fandom that I haven't posted here yet. Maybe like 10 years ago. It's DC Comics and it's kind of a Oneshot/series. Maybe some might be interested? I would post them here as well, then! I will of course take ideas and will try to write more for the series, bc it really was fun to write these 3 chapters! And because I needed to get out of my writing block and need motivation as well x'D I might do a poll, if people are interested in reading a bit Marvel/DC here on this blog...? I kind of missed writing for these fandoms...

I didn't even had time to wish you all a great christmas nor a happy new year! I know I'm late but I hope that you all have a lovely year 2024!!💕

Thank you all for everything and perhaps even reading this!

I wish you all a great day!!💕

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[tastesoftamriel]

I'm sure you're entirely sick of talking about this bc that initial anon was... dumb as hell and I too would like to forget about it if I were you lol, so feel free to ignore this ask!! but I just wanted to throw in my two cents as a fellow non-white non-American fantasy writer. cause fantasy as a genre is so insanely whitewashed, and even in settings like TES that have multiple different fantasy-cultures that are meant to draw inspiration from lots of different real-world-cultures, they tend to be shallow and lacking and let's be real, TES isn't getting any awards for being politically correct. I for one always get insanely hyped when I see more diverse takes on fantasy, whether thats in original fiction or fanfiction, cause 1) it just vastly improves the quality of the world building and 2) it creates more welcoming spaces for other bipoc to create more cool stuff. and also, it's just fun as hell to project your own culture into dope fantasy settings. I do it all the time and I fuckin love when other people do it.

I feel like that anon was just looking for a fight and intentionally trying to interpret your comment in the most bad faith way possible (classic tesblr behavior ngl). and like I get it, orientalism sucks ass, but I've followed you for a couple years now and I've only ever known you to be a super chill, super respectful person who (like I said before) creates a welcoming space for other bipoc in the fandom.

tldr: anon is a clown, representation is fun, your blog slaps

❤ from @reachfolk

Yes yes YES I could hug you! Inclusivity and breaking away from whitewashed fantasy is one of my main goals with this blog! My recipes and worldbuilding have me neck deep in exploring global cuisine and culture, but as soon as it's a picture then people go off about cultural insensitivity. Because reading comprehension is low here so most people barely glance at the worldbuilding posts.

Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, as far as Asian actors in Hollywood went, you had Lucy Liu and Jackie Chan. There was that show about Imperial Chinese cats called Sagwa (傻瓜 shagua literally means "dumb melon" which is what you call a certified idiot). Mulan (forever my favourite). Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? But that's it. Seeing Michelle Yeoh winning everything recently makes me feel proud to be Asian. I cried when I saw Over the Moon.

If just ONE person looks at this blog and goes "cool, I learned something" or "cool, my culture is being recognised and represented as a form of inspiration", then I have done something right. Other Chinese/East Asian people in the past have applauded me for bucking the western "Asian" stereotype, simply because I express my love for my culture differently.

I'm no less Chinese for being fluent in English (which is actually my mother tongue btw thanks colonialism), or being a goth, or an author who happens to be atrocious at math. I just am. And I want everyone to just be too. To embrace their otherness, to rejoice in the diversity of the human experience, and to learn to live together. And most of all, I wanna see more awareness in writing (especially fantasy) about non-Global North cultures and the people who represent them. I'm sick of being a media cliché.

If you're a POC and you're looking for your sign to delve into fantasy worldbuilding, this is it. Go write. Create. Destroy. Build the world you've always wanted to see through the lens of your heritage, use your history as a lesson, use your language as a weapon. ~Tal

[inchidentally]

tricky asks time! a lot have built up so I'm definitely going to have to do a multiparter - remember to bl 'wank adjacent' to not see these posts <3

I'm putting these two together bc the first one is to do with a super creepy anon who has a very loud and fully parasocial "our relationship" attitude toward Lily and Oscar and ironically thought that me saying that I engage in rpf for fun on a website that requires multiple hoops to get through to even scroll one page of someone's blog. and the second is the side of fandom who have developed a certain idea of "perfect relationships" based solely on the woman remaining largely unknown and the man a major public figure.

okay, so. full disclosure: I don't have a great view of heterosexual relationships when it comes to what they do to women and what they take from women. I'm not automatically down on any of them and as always I'm like, other people's choices are fully their own and my opinions are irrelevant as far as they're concerned!

it's pretty obvious from me repeating over and over but first and foremost !! I am aggressively against internalized misogyny in fandom spaces, and esp toward the women who date or marry male public figures. it's absolutely rampant on a larrying level in carlando and pretty damn bad in dando and I've been adamant that landoscar won't fall prey to those people (carlando and dando fandoms still have plenty of great people, just to say <3).

but make no mistake, me sticking up for these women is because they do not deserve abuse as a basic decency. they're not dolls I pick up and put down based on if they happen to be with a guy I post about. they deserve respect regardless of who is observing them and why. *if they're genuinely problematic then that's a separate topic but holy shit only bring that morality if you're prepared to apply it to the men you're a fan of at the same time !!

the fact that we only know these women based on the man they're dating or married to is already problematic and I get pretty grossed out when fans go hard for a gf or wife and then easily transfer that energy immediately when there's a breakup and a new gf or wife. it's equally gross when they continue to follow the ex and say how much they "miss her" or constantly bring up her ex in spaces she can see.

so when I speak up about or for Lily and any other wife or girlfriend of a driver, I'm doing so with full respect for how uncomfortable it is that I only know of her existence bc of a man. and that I also have a responsibility in a fandom space - even one as fairly invisible as tumblr - to kick back at fans who attack them purely to create space for their rpf ship fantasy or their own unhealthy obsession.

it's also why you'll see me being a broken record about keeping the line between rpf for fun and the reality of these men's relationships.

I don't think I'll ever believe that a woman is anything but relatively happy in a partnership with the type of man who has to give their entire selves to their career. especially F1 that demands 10 months of almost nonstop travel and commitments. and sorry, the whole 'yay she has her own career/life!' as some kind of consolation prize for her sacrifices doesn't work bc in order for the relationship to exist beyond phone calls and texts has always required the wife or girlfriend to fly wherever he is to spend time together. very occasionally, I see someone like George or Alex make the effort during the season to fly out to their girlfriend. Oscar went on a minibreak with Lily during the break last season. like, that's bare minimum lol and nothing compared to these women flying across the globe and being stuck waiting around while their bf or husband only has the rare hour or so between commitments on a race weekend.

so any "praise" of a wife or girlfriend for how they accommodate a man's career and "stay out of the spotlight" or "stay private" is a massive red flag for me. an largely invisible woman dating a man with a public profile will never feel like an organic decision on her part to me. it's a reaction to a situation that shouldn't exist.

"his fans and fangirls are awful though" yea and that's not fucking right and it's not a reason to let them win. decent fans can work harder to suppress the shitty ones and mass report accounts. and I know that for Lily Z, she's gotten temporary respite by being nothing more than a woman walking beside Oscar and not "giving haters any ammunition". but for example, even though Lily M and Carmen still get occasional shit from idiots who just want to hate, they go relatively unscathed because the decision was made early on to be in on the rpf ship jokes and George and Alex consistently make as many posts about them in a sort of joint, impenetrable "this is our relationship and you will not drive these women into hiding". Lily's hugely intelligent and has professional STEM aspirations of her own.

it's wayyyyy too convenient to say she's as private as she is because privacy fulfills her and brings her happiness. it's just the flipside of haters giving her a conditional reprieve bc they don't have to be annoyed by her having a visible personality.

and guess what? we've never once heard from Lily herself that she would be private even without dating a man in the public eye. we've heard what her boyfriend has said. we've heard from Kym Ilm*n. and women in fandom have taken that and decided it's permission to praise her for not wanting to face unfair abuse. like ??? I am not ok with that lol.

"maybe she just doesn't want to be super visible or have a public identity!" nah. if she's under 50 then having a public identity is fully the norm so it's too much of a convenient reach to make that assumption. and if she has a career of her own then she absolutely needs to have a public identity. even when you start out in entry positions, showing the work you do and the people you work with is totally normal for advancement. (I'm in shitty jobs so that doesn't apply to me lol but no F1 wife or gf will be working my jobs. almost all the women I know are in aspirational careers tho.)

women deserve to at least have a go at being a dynamic, public person who pursues life to the degree she chooses irrespective of her bf - and if afterward she finds she wants to be super private and raise a man's babies out of sight AND SHE SAYS SO HERSELF then that's absolutely wonderful.

but absolutely no one can convince me that women aren't conditioned and pressured in a world like F1 to either shut up and stay out of the way, or that they're "asking for it" if they do live publicly and have crazies stalking them and sending them abuse.

*side note that I've heard some ummm potentially not great things about Seb with regard to women that are not worth repeating here in case they've been blown out of proportion or just rumors. (I get the whole "he may have changed" but a lot of the videos of him flirting with women or objectifying them is... not great and hopefully he's seen the error in that) but even if it's all untrue (and obv I hope it is) I'm only happy for his wife if she has openly stated herself that she voluntarily chose to remain largely invisible and put up with him being absent so often and her having to be the one to alter her life to be with him during the F1 season. if she hasn't clearly said that herself (a direct quote "" and not just a reporter stating it) then there's no point in us assuming it about her. and the Seb's words are not a replacement for her own, sorry.

I'm not at all a person to comment on this myself but I fully respect your experience babe <3 I personally know and know of a few ppl who got together in HS and ended up getting engaged or married and they're already cheating or breaking up so I also can't contradict you aslfgsjalgf

and just to say: while I (for all the reasons above) will never be yay I'm so glad Lily is tied to a man whose job absorbs his entire life I will NEVER say that outside these replies. I will always push support for Lily - and any gf Lando might have at some point - bc they deserve and need it in fandom. and any of our takes on these relationships are pointless and irrelevant anyway.

I think I covered my own feeling about this above and tbh it depends on the intent. if they're going to drop the woman in question if/when a breakup happens then yea that is super creepy and weird to make fan pages etc.

I like following certain wives and gfs accounts mostly bc I live vicariously through the glamour of their lives but I'd feel weird interacting with their content or making fan content of it when I know damn well I only started following them bc of a man.

it's tricky to say and I think it depends so much on the individual fan's intent and how they create that content y'know?

but god yeah, unless a ship is a joke openly shared by the men in question like carlando and dando then I need these official accounts to just not do rpf. it's why I tend not to rb when that happens with landoscar bc I so want this ship to remain mostly under the radar and not attract rpf truthers.

[seancamerons]

i hate my voice so i can't do a podcast. i do not know how to make fan videos. i can barely gif, its so complicated so i do edits/artsy and sometimes i do that. play with my strengths (lack there of) i think i have a good idea.

so with that in consideration, would anyone be interested in me being super in-depth about like written reviews like white wedding thoughts, this paige one here or this piece on caitlin ryan, this lil thing about when doves cry here for degrassi on here or

on some side blog? i have a lot to say and idk.

with boycott the caf gone basically (humourous but true insight/peek into the past), broomheads is mostly about fashion aspects (which i like!) and trends of the 2000s and the djh/high persuasion too. maybe people can suggest topics to share opinions. i gotta do something/contribute to fandom bc the show has ended and there's so much to talk about. just an idea. just wanted to see if anyone was interested or it's something i could pursue.

i do make art, write stories. when i feel like it i do post a lot off opinion pieces, prose, the occasional lovefest but i can have neutral viewpoints, universal comparing contrasting, breaking down things, etc. but i never did like the whole review thing, combined with all this. i think it'd be cool. I'll tag people who are frequently in the degrassi tag in the tags or people who post a lot of degrassi even if we all don't have the same opinions, i think we can all have a bit of fun in our investment the franchise that arguably brought a lot of people together. having different opinions open up debates and such, or looking at things from different povs and perspectives. it could be a good thing with connections to be made. who knows? who is interested? if it flops this is dead. i don't want it to be but oh well.

thanks for reading 😊📝 don't be a stranger. if you're not into it cool don't be mean. that's it.

love always, brimi

[constellationcrowned]

Everyone needs to read this post please and thank you!!

Rather than make a poll about this ongoing issue that's impossible to parse bc I can't see who picked what specifically I'll do this another way: Help me help you by telling me why you don't actively interact. I post and reblog plenty of content all day every day that can be sent in, utilized, etc and it's crickets from ya'll all of the time and that's frustrating af and we need to work things out.

It'd be a different situation if I never offered stuff like calls or what have you; that'd be my bad and I'd need to work on being more proactive, but I'm already doing that and it goes nowhere. I'm constantly offering to help you guys---like right now, because I know the majority of you have read a post similar to this from me and you're gonna do it again---and I mean it every single time no matter how many times I offer it but on the flip side of things you guys need to actually take me up on what I'm offering.

I'm not offering to help merely for fun, you know? I'm offering to help because I understand that this shit can be difficult, it can be hard to talk to people, hard to interact with super niche fandoms and characters, and so on, and there's nothing wrong with having trouble but after a certain point if you continuously refuse to step out of your bubble or accept someone trying to help you the fear argument kinda loses validity, at least in regards to rp related stuff. I'm extending a hand and you need to fucking grab on because chances are the thing that's stopping you---be it you need help with the characters or the lore, you need me to type the first interaction, we need to have an ooc chat about what interests us, whatever it is---can be resolved but we need to fuckin communicate. I'm already meeting all of you halfway; honestly I've been meeting you guys more than halfway for awhile now, and now you need to step up and get in here.

Now does this mean that I'm going to stop offering to help, providing opportunities to interact through calls, memes, etc? Absolutely not. That would defeat the whole purpose and, again, I love offering such things and will continue to do so because it's not only part of what I need to do as a good rp partner I also enjoy doing so, plain and simple. All that I'm asking is that my mutuals (and yes, this applies to everyone, because even those who've followed me for months or years across multiple blogs fail to engage, it's not just newer folks) be more proactive in general. If I'm offering to help you or posting a call or whatever else? Engage. Ask questions. Send a meme. Tell me you want to interact even if you don't know how and we'll figure it out together. I'm tired of constantly chasing people or pulling proverbial teeth, especially when it's completely unnecessary. Communicate and engage with enthusiasm; both on your own and when I offer, and we'll be writing together in no time. Stop getting in your own way. Stop depriving yourselves. Let's have fun and actually fuckin write together.

[definitelynotshouting]

OUGHHH sorry to be on anon, I need to make a proper tumblr to talk to people in hermitblr but currently I only have a sideblog and am not gonna expose my ten year old main aklsdjhfdklas, but I am the author of the romeo and juliet au tysm you made my heart grow warm and fuzzy and then explode I've never seen my fic mentioned out in te wild before <33333

to fuel ur theatre au brainworms, in the romeo and juliet au: mercutio is bdubs + benvolio is cleo, and jimmy and joel are sampson and gregory (two capulets from the start of the play they're such dumbasses my absolute beloveds), so we've got the design philosophy of the montagues and the capulets mirroring the aesthetics of the family and the bad boysss. (I never came up with a design for bad boy!Ren when he steps in as Tybalt instead of Grian during show week but I feel it's not too hard to imagine hehe)

but also (separately from that au, because I saw other talk of the life series and theatre and plays on ur blog) I constantly think about the life series as a greek tragedy, specifically in relation to the purpose of the series' inevitable tragedy being catharsis for the watchers (with the watchers also being literally the viewers). we love to see them suffer!!! but there's also a bunch of politics surrounding greek tragedies that Plato and Aristotle had discourse about that you can rope into it and tldr; my understanding is catharsis was Aristotle's answer to Plato's concern that tragedies' emotive affect could encourage rebellion against the state, with Aristotle saying that instead the cycle of pity and fear and eventual catharsis felt by the audience has a "purifying" effect that's like an emotional release from those emotions instead. Then with the extra layer of lore the fandom has surrounding Grian running away from the watchers, if Grian designs the life games, to the end of sating the watchers' need to emotionally feed (thank you Martyn for that piece of lore I'm stealing it jkfhdsk), the purpose of the games could be the cleansing of the watchers' discomfort with him running away and being a player and maintaining the status quo where Grian is actually the one in control !!!! even if he makes himself suffer. also different characters "curses" as their harmatia!! And, if we interpret the watchers as a fictional force AND the viewers simultaneously, then the chorus could absolutely be watchers who are vocal in the fandom - removed from the "players" (and OH how I love the dual meaning of minecraft players and players as in actors) but providing additional commentary and insight into what's happening that further feeds the emotional experience of the audience !!

alsooooo if you don't know the show "& Juliet" scar and grian are ALSO romeo and juliet in that to me, it's their last life/early double life era </3

theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre

YOOOOOOOOO HELLO OP YOUR FIC IS AMAZING AND IM GLAD I COULD REC IT BC IT DESERVES RECOGNIZED!!!!! Also all of this is AMAZING im so obsessed with bdubs being mercutio and cleo being benvolio. Thats incredible like HELLO????? based choices tbh thats so fun

Also super obsessed with the meta of plays feeding into the watcher canon (and im STILL not over martyn somehow accidentally canonizing a key element of my au, this is insane, i came up with the idea for watchers feeding on player emotions in SEPTEMBER OF LAST YEAR), thats so fucking neat, i love a good tragedy OUGHHHHH its so compelling.

Also no worries about being on anon!!!! I did that too before i finally cleaned up my main blog so all the posts were privated, and then changed my url to match this one so ppl would recognize me WHEEEEEZE. Smth that helped me was tagging my own sideblog in anon asks i sent, so ppl would know it was me, and i'd get the notif when it got answered. Ofc you might not be comfortable linking your sideblog, but if you ever made one you wanted to sign off with, thats the option i used for a while before using mass post editor to private my entire main blog!!!!

theatre theatre theatre!!! Your ideas are SO pog and cool my dude feel free to ramble to me any time :]

[tsarinajissa]

Hiiii! I’m Zanna, I lost this account a few years ago and just recently got it back and am starting to use tumblr more. Most of the people I follow are inactive accounts from 10+ years ago but you’re still going strong and live-blogging and i just want to 1. say thanks bc your posts remind me of the tumblr i love and remember lol and 2. ask if we can be friends and talk about ice skating and stuff.

I started trying to follow real world skating after watching Yuri on Ice (of course lol) and I always watch it during the olympics but i’d like to watch all the other events too and have someone to discuss with <3

You're back! Welcome back!

I'd love to be tumblr skating and fandom buddies-- I'm probably going to be even more on my bullshit than usual because this year my wife (that happened while you were off I think. But the woman I used to call my bestie is now my wife ;) and I will be GOING TO WORLDS.

This is a perfect time to start blathering at each other about it, because the grand prix season just started! If you have peacock from the Olympics they stream all the grand prix as well (no challenger though. Boo), but you have to poke around in the live and upcoming sports area for it. Or, if you were to have non-US internet the isu has streams on youtube (the non-US internet part is required there, because geoblocking).

Every weekend for the next few weeks is one of the grand prix--next up: Skate Canada. I'm super excited for it because it's Jason Brown's first grand prix in a while (he went into semi-retirement after his amazing Sinnerman at the Olympics, where he did ice shows around the world and then only showed up for nats and worlds. As a country we decided he deserved that for doing Sinnerman. But he's planning on 2026 Olympics so he's gotten serious again this year and it looks super good. Much better form already in September than he had at Worlds 2024, when he usual peaks later in the season).

Also coming to Skate Canada are:

Cha Junhwan. You may remember him as Korea's Male singles skater in the Olympics/ the skater with the best ina bauer of all time. He had a tough time last season recovering from injury and switching coaches (to the same woman who coaches all the junior Korean women and seems to wish she were Eteri or Hamada. V worried there). I'm really hoping he has a better time this season and was given proper time/support to recover

Kaori Sakamoto! I saw her new programs at a challenger and think they could be a lot of fun, plus. She's Kaori <333. A double axel that covers one side of the rink, deep edges, gorgeous lines, and a commitment to choreo that can't be beat (literally since the Olympics at grand prix and higher. 3 time world champ!!)

Ekaterina Kurakova is so much fun and will definitely win for best costume change on ice! Also, she had trouble last season and I'm wishing her the best

Speaking of wishing the best: Alyssa Liu. Alyssa has been off since the Olympics to focus on her mental health and this is her second competition since March 2022. She looked wonderful at the challenger event she did earlier this season and I'm really hoping she continues to perform well and feels in a good place. She was forced by US Fed into the position of 'America's Leading Lady' far too young and I'm so glad she took time off for her mental health. I hope it'll be a blueprint for a more sustainable way forward.

Ilia Malinin. You've missed the rise of the Quad God if you haven't watched since the Olympics. He's not one of my faves, but I can't not mention the reigning world champ will be there. He's improved a TON in the past two years, finally gotten choreo he appreciates, and his jumps are still. Gorgeous. The quad axel takes my breath away every time. And, iirc, one of his current programs has him do a quad jump into a spread eagle. His transitions!!

Shun Sato, Sota Yamamoto, Kim Yelim and Gabrielle Frangipani are all others singles skaters I'm excited for. Frangipani is a relatively new Italian senior man who had some great speed and power when I saw him last year & Yamamoto + Sato can both be brilliant when they're on. Kim Yelim is just. I've loved her since the Olympics

Hopefully this wasn't too much blather. I'm just. In full figure skating mode and enjoy every chance I get to talk too much about it!