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justice4falum · 5 years ago

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do NOT give money to tumblr user roboticwheelchair

Hi, so you’ve probably seen this post or some of its permutations on this website lately! (The old version of this post broke because I mistakenly deleted it. Let’s try this again, shall we?)

This is a “RAFFLE” for a Nintendo Switch Lite and the poster is asking people send them $10 to earn a spot in the raffle, of which there are 52. People have already sent money in.

This post was made by user roboticwheelchair and the name which currently displays on their paypal is “Mick Garcia” - it’s very possible you’ve heard their story already from several weeks ago. User roboticwheelchair claims that they were physically assaulted for being a transgender man, and that they sustained a concussion.

The BAD news is that roboticwheelchair is a blog which has been on tumblr for a very long time, and used to belong to someone named Falum Gibson. You may have heard this name from their #justice4falum campaign ages ago. They are a notorious scammer and has been doing this since 2016. LET’S REVIEW (LONG, LONG, LONG POST AHEAD.)

Part 1: #BieberMeetFalum and Meeting Ed Sheeran

In 2016, Falum ran a Justin Bieber fan account on Twitter called @bieberfreezer (account has since been suspended). They began a campaign called #BieberMeetFalum by posting a Twitter thread about their disability, cerebral palsy, and how they had intended to meet Justin Bieber personally because his music was important to them. However, the venue he was performing at was not wheelchair accessible and Falum uses an electric wheelchair. They were trying to get the attention of him or his team in order to ensure they met. (LINK)

This was a reasonable thing to post about! Accessibility is a necessity. We know this. And they weren’t asking for money. Twitter got this the attention it needed and they were able to meet Bieber despite the trouble. (LINK)

Later on, they gunned to meet Ed Sheeran and succeeded.

Part 2: #TaylorNoticeFalum

In 2018, Falum was on Tumblr as user taylorsgetawaycarxo. At this point they still say they have cerebral palsy, but has also said they have COPD (something they later will drop.) Claiming that they are terminally ill and has 2 years left to live, they talk about how Taylor Swift is their idol and they want to meet her before they die.

This came right after they had done the same thing with Demi Lovato fans, claiming they idolised Demi and needed to meet her, so on and so forth. They ran a GoFundMe for this.

The GoFundMe is now defunct, but the URL was “falumlastwish” I believe. Here’s where the plot gets a little lost, because the sheer number of different GoFundMes, donation posts, and meet-a-celebrity campaigns that Falum was running in these couple of years is... pretty wild. There’s a post from another blog here on Tumblr about the Taylor Swift fandom’s run-in with them. (LINK)

Here’s a GoFundMe they ran from a music fan account on Instagram, where they were asking for help escaping homelessness. They raised almost 5,000 dollars out of the 10,000 they were asking. (LINK)

At some point they also ran a GoFundMe for a PTSD service dog. I’m not sure how much they were asking for this one, but they apparently made $880 off of it.

Part 3: Ellie Elizabeth

This part is a little muddled, because the tumblr blog connected to it has been deleted and it’s really difficult to find archives of the posts, but at some point in early 2019 Falum started using the blog ellie-elizabeth21 to ask for money as well. The story was that they were being sent to conversion therapy for being bisexual by their father, who had them deemed legally mentally incompetent. Further stories they posted about were potential evictions, needs for grocery money, etc.

Here’s a link to an imgur album of some of the posts this account made. Many of them achieved their goal of over $200 or more. (LINK)

“Ellie” also ran a GoFundMe to escape conversion therapy. Although the person running the campaign was listed as Ellie Elizabeth, the “beneficiary” listed on the campaign is Falum Gibson, proving that Ellie was another pseudonym - just a better hidden one. Here’s the link to that GoFundMe, where you can see it for yourself. (LINK)

This was Ellie Elizabeth’s PayPal account at the time, I believe? And anyway, you might note that they apparently made nearly $6,500 on this account.

Part 4: #Justice4Falum

Now in November of 2019, Falum moved away from the world of Fan Internet and decided to try out something new. They made the blog roboticwheelchair in September of 2019 and reblogged a photoset of cats to it, which for a while was the only thing on the blog besides the donation post they initially made. They’ve gone through a cycle of reblogging and deleting things there, basically clearing out the blog every couple of weeks to make a new post.

At this point they were also @falumgibson on Twitter. The account has since been locked. This is when they posted a GoFundMe describing medical abuse they were allegedly undergoing at the Ottawa Hospital. Weird side note, this GoFundMe is still running and can be donated to, though obviously I’m recommending you don’t do so. (LINK)

They made several donation posts on Tumblr about this campaign, frequently linking it or their PayPal account and asking people to donate. Sometimes it was to go directly to their legal fund for this lawsuit, other times they were asking for money for medications or other immediate costs.

Side note, they had claimed to be in the hospital since August of 2019 due to suicidal ideation and claimed they had been psych warded. From what I can tell, the Ottawa Hospital General Campus they claimed to be hospitalised at does not actually have a psychiatric ward. It has a mental health team, but they appear to do outpatient work. It’s not really clear what they were in the hospital for at this point.

#Justice4Falum was originally about fundraising for a place to live because apparently they were in danger of being forced to leave the hospital due to homelessness. Later on they turned it into a legal fund to sue the hospital for mistreatment.

Part 5: Further Fundraising, Coming Out As Trans

While Falum was in the hospital, they started identifying as nonbinary. I’m not in any position to speculate about whether or not Falum is transgender, because that’s honestly not the point. Either way, they have started using their trans identity in much the way they use their disabilities - as a way to garner sympathy and trust, and to scam people out of money.

On their Twitter at this point, they did seem to have kind of a bizarre interpretation of how transition worked and appeared to be under the impression that the first thing trans men do is get top surgery? (LINK)

Shortly after this, still during the November that #Justice4Falum ran during, they began asking for donations to a different PayPal account than their normal one, because their stepdad was dying of cancer. There was a GoFundMe for this as well, but it appeared to feature their parents and was possibly not created by Falum.

No date on this tweet unfortunately, but right after that, they made a post about how they had been outed to their transphobic father and needed to escape living with him.

At this point, Falum has added several diagnoses to those they claim to have. In addition to cerebral palsy, they now claim to have multiple sclerosis and several mental illnesses. No more COPD, though! I’m very impressed that they recovered from a terminal illness!

Now that they’re out of the closet, in early December they begin making donation posts on Tumblr again and have now made a Patreon. (LINK: POST) (LINK: PATREON) Soon after this, they apparently left their home and became homeless, and started posting about this on Twitter and linking their PayPal.

In late December they posted on Twitter about having attempted suicide by taking 75 extra strength Tylenol. Warning for a photograph of their IV in this link. (LINK)

Not very long after, Falum returned to their narrative of being terminally ill by posting about how their multiple sclerosis (something they have only claimed since 2019, I believe) causes them over 20 seizures a day and will eventually kill them. (LINK)

Then they locked their Twitter account and decided to try something new.

Part 6: Connor Kay, “anontransman”

Enter Connor Kay. At this point Falum makes a new Twitter account called @ConnorIsTrans which eventually morphs into @anontransman. They initially link this account to their old main account, saying that they’ve switched in order to be openly trans on their new account because their transphobic father is stalking them. (LINK)

They continue asking for donations on Twitter, now with a Ko-Fi account called Connor Rocks.

They also post a story about an ex-friend of theirs spitting on them for being trans, apparently, and say they’re calling the police on her, which really doesn’t seem like something that’d be safe for a disabled trans person to do but whatever. (LINK)

On their blog at roboticwheelchair, they post stories about how they are being assaulted and mocked for being transgender. I should note that on Twitter they’ve said they are not out IRL and have not taken steps to transition.

Not only does this particular story sound kind of like the “down with cis bus” post, it’s also somewhat suspect that they allege they were called a tr*nny as an AFAB trans person, given who is generally targeted by that word. But. Moving on.

When the COVID-19 pandemic came around, Connor created a Facebook group for disability support. This was run by the Facebook account Connor Kay, which has since been deleted. It was the same account that they used to have and they’d not changed anything except for the name; prior posts showed it was Falum Gibson’s account.

It turns out they deleted this Facebook account because someone on Facebook posted about their years-long history of scamming people online. Here’s a link to an imgur album of some of the Facebook callout and the images the OP posted. (LINK)

So Falum, or Connor, decides to start anew with an all new PayPal, Ko-Fi, Patreon and Twitter account. At this point they begin to break away from linking these accounts to the name Falum Gibson and their past donation posts, although they are still using the same Tumblr blog. They change their Twitter handle to @anontransman and remove links to Falum. (TWITTER SCREENCAP) (KO-FI SCREENCAP) (PATREON SCREENCAP)

Then they tweet about how they have been diagnosed with cancer. (LINK) Then they begin asking for $100k to go to the US for treatment. (LINK)

Soon after, this Tweet has been completely deleted and they have instead started asking for money for top surgery. (LINK) I believe this is in reverse chronological order, but here are a week’s worth of tweets from them - all deleted at random times in order to make room for the others - asking for money for various reasons. Yes, this was all literally within the same week. (LINK)

Note the very last image of that album contains a reference to an “Amazon Raffle” - they were basically telling people that donations would win them a spot in a raffle for an Amazon gift card or something? It seems they moved on from the @anontransman account before the raffle could come to fruition, or possibly that they just deleted all references to it. Not sure.

In April of 2020, roboticwheelchair posted a specific donation post about being attacked for being transgender and sustaining a concussion. They said they did not see a doctor after the assault because they didn’t think it was important, so their concussion went untreated and because of it they were unable to get groceries. The donation post linked to Connor Kay’s PayPal account. It was deleted and reposted several different times, with basically the same text.

Part 7: Mick Garcia

This is a more recent post with the exact same story, now about their multiple sclerosis medication. The only difference is now that the PayPal link sends you to the PayPal of Mick Garcia. Mick Garcia has a different PayPal username than Falum, Ellie, and Connor did.

On April 12th, the @anontransman account deactivated after Falum, or Ellie, or Connor, or Mick decided to leave Twitter. Then yesterday on April 19th, it reactivated and they tweeted once again.

However, around this same time, another Twitter account under the name Mick Garcia with an icon @anontransman used to use and a very similar tone/style cropped up.

The Mick Garcia account has not tweeted yet, as it appears that they may be staying with @anontransman for their current purposes, but it appears that for some reason or another they’ve decided to start going by Mick Garcia now.

I guess it’s probably relevant to note that while I suppose there are probably some white people out there with the last name Garcia, Falum is really seriously white and it’s suspect they would pick out Garcia as a pseudonym, whether they list “white” in their Twitter bio or not.

More from the current state of the roboticwheelchair blog includes many, many posts where they’re either reposting their own petitions or basically grabbing for as many followers as possible. You can probably guess why. (LINK)

As of April 20th, 2020, there are 2 donation posts still standing on their blog. Here are both of them. (LINK)

Finally, The Switch Raffle

Literally today, April 20th, roboticwheelchair posted something that is allegedly a raffle. They claim to be giving away a Nintendo Switch Lite to a lucky winner. There are 52 slots in the raffle; they are asking that people send them $10 over PayPal in order to enter. They’re also claiming this is to further fundraise for their medication.

They are claiming their doctor has put them on an MS medication that costs $450 every two weeks. (Note that if they’re trying to make money for that right now and also going to buy a Switch for the winner, than they’d only have about half of that at the end? The Switch Lite is about $260 in Canada and their total earnings from a full raffle would be $520.)

You should not give money to them for this raffle, or for any reason. The reason I’m compiling all of this is because after months of seeing them pull this scam over and over again, they’re now promising people an actual product that given their history, I would say they are highly unlikely to deliver.

Given their past, it is most likely they will delete this raffle once they have the money they want, and refuse to allude to it ever again. Or maybe they’ll just disappear! Or hell, maybe they’ll have some kind of nebulous problem ordering the Switch when someone wins, and that’ll be that.

But it’s clear based on this history, I hope, that Falum or Ellie or Connor or Mick has a long history of taking lots and lots of money from strangers online. Like, a lot of money. My estimate is that they’ve made over $15k on this, and that’s exclusively based off of the visible numbers on their GoFundMes and Ko-Fi accounts.

Please do not give this person your money. They are not trustworthy. There are other people who need it - like you, or maybe like, someone you personally know and not some complete stranger who keeps telling people they’re terminally ill so they can meet a cool musician.

Disclaimer

I’ve compiled all of this information to the best of my ability, but I am just one person and it took a lot of digging due to the deleted accounts involved.

Falum is actually disabled; I believe they do have cerebral palsy and may have other disabilities. I do not know if they really have MS, but it’s hard to trust them because they previously lied about having terminal COPD.

I have no idea if Falum is really transgender or not. They have apparently taken no concrete steps to transition, which I know means very little. That being said, if they are transgender, they are leveraging their identity in dangerous ways against other people for money and sympathy. Their stories about being assaulted by strangers for being transgender are highly suspect, given their lack of transition and the fact that the scenarios they describe are highly cliche.

Finally, I’m not trying to harass Falum or threaten them in any way. I don’t know them. If they’re interested in talking candidly about what they have been doing all these years and why, that’s fine. I would honestly love to understand, but at this point it seems like the only thing they can do is apologise for their dishonesty and stop doing this.

Reblog this post if you want! The point is to get the word out there, because this person has been a pervasive presence on this website for some time and has not yet been called out.

#tumblr scam #signal boost #donations #falum gibson #roboticwheelchair #anontransman #connor kay #mick garcia #ellie elizabeth

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nctworststuff · 4 years ago

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Pairing- Boyfriend!Renjun x nospecific!reader

Warning-Death,Cancer

Genre: Angst

a/n: Here what you guys got after a months I’m not post anything. Also Thank you my friend,Lucy because helping me a lot :). Hope you guys like it

He always with you

He avoided meeting with you lately. You missed to spend time with him so much. You missed his scent, his hugs, his kisses, his presence, but most importantly, you missed him.

You recently spent a lot of time in your apartment, all by yourself. Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate and staying under your fluffy blanket. Sometimes you went to hangout with your friends, but not as often as you used to. However, today you couldn't take it anymore. I have to visit him, now!

Deep inside you knew that he would never cheat on you. What if something bad had happen to him? Maybe he got sick or maybe something in his family came up? You didn't know. Helplessly you scrolled through your media social. Usually, he would be active on Instagram. Always adding things to his story or at least posting the pictures he made. But ever since 3 weeks ago, you haven't seen him post a single thing. As if he vanished.

You took a look at your photo gallery on your phone. It's filled with pictures of you and Renjun. Everytime the two of you had met in the past months, you had taken at least one picture. Are you okay, renjun?

You didn't want to waste your time anymore, so you walked into your bedroom to change your outfit. You arrived at his house that felt like a second home to you. Big dark clouds covered the sky and sun. It may rain soon. You slowly walked to the door and opened it with the spare key Renjun gave you not so long ago.

You couldn't see him when you entered. Maybe he is in his bedroom? You steped further into his apartment. It was a big mess. You tried to comprehend what could've happened here. The TV was on, adding some noise to the otherwise quiet space. Some old snacks that have neither been fully eaten nor thrown away, covered the floor. It surely wasn't healthy for him to life in all this trash.

You finally went upstairs and pressed the door handle down slowly after knocking and getting no reply. Who knows, maybe he's sleeping? However you suddenly heard a faint crying sound instead of the silence. What's happening to him? Thousands of thoughts were running in your head, creating one scenario worse than the other. "Renjun?" You softly called out his name and fully opened the door. He turned his head and body to look at you, surprised by your arrival. His eyes were more red than white and his face looked as white as freshly fallen snow did.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?" He looked at you with what you could only assume was an angered expression. You slowly approached him and sat down on his mattress beside him. You hesitantly leaned your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his thigh, joining his own one. Oh, how often you had fiddled with his slender fingers before. They were just as beautiful as the art they created, but now they were just dried skin and bone. You were convinced, something bad happen to him!

"And why are you crying?", you asked him in return, probably a bit too late, but not that it matered anyways. He kept quiet for about a minute, before taking a deep breath and forcing those awful words out of his mouth. "I have a disease! I-I have cancer..." He closed his eyes tightly to hold himself back from sobbing. The fear that lived within him ever since the doctor told him he was going to die earlier than expected, suddenly skyrocket in your presence.

Shutting you out in the hope of making you forget him, had been so much easier than seeing your heart break right in front of him. You didn't deserve the pain he caused you, so why...? Why are you still here y/n? Why couldn't you stay away from me? "So that's the reason why you pushed me away? The reason you avoided me? Why didn't you tell me? Renjun? Explain it to me. Please explain everything." you looked at his eyes that beared so many emotions, while he bit his chapped lips.

"I-I don't know. I... I was just so, so scared. Actually, I-I knew I had cancer... It... They told me a year ago."

His confession was interrupted by a hiccup. He started crying again and put his hand on his face. You've been together for 3 years and he kept this a secret for all the time, telling you just now? "I-I'm only going to live for one more week. My doctor said there is no other way for me." Why? Why did he need to leave like this? Couldn't he be healthy and grow old with me? Searching in your confused and helpless mind you looked for a solution.

"Hey, i-it's okay. Its not your fault! I-I could spend all my money for your surge-", but he cut you off with a harsh movement by his hand. "You heard what I said. There's no chance, y/n!" Now your eyes were filling with tears, blurring your sight. This can't be true! "You said you would never leave me. You- You promised." The tears poured out of their home, painting a wet line down your cheeks until they dropped down your chin, falling. You too, felt like falling. You were so angry, but not at him, no, he didn't wanted this either. You were angry at the situation. At the fact that you couldn't do Anything.

Watching your little emotional breakdown, Renjun stayed quiet. After he had avoided meeting you for so long, seeing you come back to him, crying with him, still caring for him, there was only one thing he wanted. "Y/n? Can I ask for one last thing, before death is taking me?" He moved his hand to your shoulder, pressing it softly. "Anything for you, Renjun!" You desperately looked into his eyes, meeting his softened expression. "I just want to spend my last week with you. Please. One last time?"

Day 2

Standing in the kitchen for about half an hour, you had made a healthy breakfast for the two of you, since he loved your cooking. You poured some hot porridge into his favourite bowl and placed it on the tray. Walking slowly to not drop anything you brought the food to his bedroom. He was still asleep, looking utterly peaceful.

While you put the tray on a near small table, you called his name softly, to wake him up. Upon hearing his name, his eyelids fluttered open. Still a bit sleepy, he rubbed his eyes and gave you a questioning look. "I made some porridge for you. Should I... feed you?" You smiled at him shyly. He could just nod his head, feeling exhausted even after taking such a long nap.

You sat down beside him and took the spoon to feed him. He followed your every move as you put the still warm porridge in his mouth. A big smile suddenly stretched across his cheeks. "I knew your cooking would never disappoint me!", he complimented, making you giggle. Yet, you couldn't ignore the sad feeling in your chest, knowing you had to accept the fact that he was going to die soon. Only five days would be left after today.

Of course Renjun noticed the way your expression changed. “I dont like to see you sad. Please smile for me” He grabbed your other hand too, making you smile. The smile only he got to see. You don't even know if the sweet smile you were currently wearing on your face would show up for another guy, but for now it seems like it is just for Renjun, who finally noticed the bracelet on your wrist.

"You still wear that bracelet?” His eyes fixated on your wrist. You just watched him with sparkling eyes, while thinking back to how you got that gift. “Of course! It looks so pretty and it bears a lot of memories for me!” He smiled at you with just the same sparkles glowing in his eyes, making your heart beat unbelievable fast in your chest. You didn't knew why, but the comforting feeling of love, the love created between the two of you, filled your now shared room. Softly touching your own cheeks you felt how they heated up.

“It's- wait... I gave you the bracelet 5 years ago, when it was your birthday? A-and we still didn't turn into lovers that day, did we?”, his eyes widened. You simply nodded and started chuckling, him joining not much later. Of course you could still remember the day he gave you the precious bracelet. He was being so shy back then, when he planned to give it to you. Haechan, Mark and all the other dreamies kept hyping him up, after he gave it to you.

“You know what? I really can't believe our relationship will just end soon. I really thought we would last longer. I'm sorry!” He smiled at you again, but this time it was a sad smile. You sighed, closing your eyes in agony. “It's not your fault, it never was, Renjun! After all, these moments are the most precious ones that we have. Trust me, I will love and remember you until I take my last breath!” I'll really do! Besides bringing it up first, you hated talking about his disease so much.

Not because you blamed it on him. Not because you couldn't believe, he was going to die soon, no. You hated talking about it because you feared being left behind. You hated the fact that you'll eventually forget about him. That you'll forget how he smelled, how his hands felt, how his hugs felt. And the worst thing was, that you'll forget how it felt to be loved by him. When did all your laughter turn into cries?

Day 4

"Look! It's your favourite flower!” Renjun points his finger to a small bunch of flowers in the middle of the park. You loved going to this park with him before and today wasn't any different. Softly swining your linked hands back and forth and slowly walking near your favourite flower felt like one of those cliché moments from a drama. Especially when you kneeled down to smell on it.

The heavy, but lively smell of the rose lingered in your nose, bringing up even more memories. Renjun gave you one of those exact roses, when he had confessed that he liked you. A small grin made it's way to your lips. “It looks so pretty.”, Renjun said while putting his arm around your shoulders, “Pretty like you!” You couldn't help, but roll your eyes. This was typically him. Renjun loved to compliment and tease you at the same time

You loved the moments when he was simply being himself. He was acting different. Usually he would be rather harsh, or how people liked to put it, ignorant towards other people’s feelings. But he always cared for you. You were his soft spot. It was only normal that couples had little fights from time to time, but renjun never let the two of you be angry at each other for a long time.

He always was the first one to apologize, or if it wasn’t his mistake, he would still want to make up, inviting you to do something that you liked. His classic line which always worked was weather you would want to eat some food ugh him. It was one of the many personality traits that you liked about him

“Ah! I really want to draw the pond and swan over there! It’s unbelievable pretty!” He excitedly took out his paintings tools and moved the stuff around until it stood perfectly within his reach while drawing. You just followed him and tried to not get in his way.

Tipping the smallest brush into the water glass, he started to draw the perfect scenery in front of you. He truly was talented at this. You couldn’t help but admire the way he let the colors dance on the Canva “Your drawing is so unbelievable. It really does look like it’s real”

His face lit up,once the words left your mouth “This is the last painting I”ll before I’m gone. I want it to be perfect!”he still smiled at you, but his eyes showed how he truly felt. The sadness dominating any other feels. Once again, you sighed. It has been almost 3 years, since you’ve been a couple and now you two just stood there, waiting for him to leave

Quickly noticed How your mood shifted towards a bad one, you tried to change the topic

There will be enough time for me to sad once he left

“Do you remember that this place is the first place we met and-“ “The place where I confessed my feelings for you?” He finished your sentence with a smirk. Chuckling you nodded at the statement

That day he called you and asked you to meet him at the park “ can you cell me?” was that he said, when he actually was going to confess to you. You can’t forget that day. You never will. It’s a very precious moment to you, even if he stuttered a lot and the confession felt really awkward too

“Your birthday is this week, isn’t it?” Renjun suddenly asked. You stopping your thoughts. Right, you totally forgot about your birthday. Surprised you just hummed and nodded. “What do you want for your birthday?” You didn’t need to think twice “I just want you stay alive and healthy. I wish you could always be my side” you smile confidently

That will never happen

It was obvious to renjun, but to avoid you sadder he just smile sweetly at you instead of responding “Can we go somewhere after this? Maybe the shopping mall?” You asked him. He looked at you and hugged you close to his chest “Of course!”

He would spend his time with you wisely and make sure that every precious and special moment will never be forgotten

Day 7

I can't lose him! Please!

You buried your face into his shoulder and grabbed his sweater like your own life depended on holding it. You couldn't believe he was going to die in less than a day. He couldn't... Your fragile, pathetic hope only faded more when he started coughing. In the last few days his condition extremely worsened and you tried to understand why people needed to suffer before dying so much. Isn't death enough?

“It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?”, he quietly asked while stroking your back. “Yes” Your answer was barely loud enough to hear, being muffled by his neck. Still, you hugged him only tighter, afraid of finally losing him. “Y/n, I'm so sorry if I'm not able to be with you tomorrow to celebrate your birthday.” You knew what’s he meant. No, this couldn't be happening! Why were you suddenly to dumb to accept it?

“Please find a better guy than me. A guy who will make you happy, who will stay loyal to you and only loves you. Find a guy who will stay by your side forever. Don't find another guy who'll make you feel dissapointed.” You wanted to tell him, that he never disappointed you, but he already pulled you into a sweet kiss. His lips felt so soft. Soft but rough. It was like your first kiss with him. It was like your first night with him. But in reality, it was your last kiss with him. Yet you saw it as another moment that had been created in this special time.

“You know... I am never going to stop loving you!” You said and looked at him. His face was so pale, you could see the soft blue shining through it. “Me too, honey. There are 7 billion people on this earth but I fell in love with you. We have been a long journey together. Everyone can fall in love but not everyone has a happy ending with it. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise, Y/n!” I know, Renjun.

The worst part for you was that it all happened so fast. But somehow you still hoped this was only a dream. That you would wake up to a healthy Renjun wishing you a happy birthday. Finally the clock was showing 12 AM. It was your birthday. Sounding just as sleepy as you felt he whispered a soft “Happy birthday, Y/n!” He stroked your hair while looking at you with loving eyes, a smile on his lips for the last time, before you both fall asleep under your shared blanket.

Not knowing, that they were his last words.

Day 8

You woke up from a deep slumber and moved your blanket. You saw that Renjun was still ‘sleeping’. Softly you shaked him to wake him up, with no sign of success. He didn't response in any way. After a few more times of you trying to wake him up and him still not moving an inch, you tried to recall which date it was today.

No, it can't be.

Yesterday was the last day you would spend with him. One week. Seven days. All moved by faster than you could remember. In your final hope you searched for his heartbeat, but you didn't hear anything. You couldn't. Now you would need to accept the fact that he was gone. Forever.

You start sobbing. "Renjun, please wake up. Please!" Despite your wobbly arms, you shook his body, screaming so uncontrollably loud that it even hurt your ears. It's my birthday. Today is supposed to be a happy day. This has to be a nightmare. I'll always be by your side. Resonating in your mind you hear a faint voice, but you just ignore it. Renjun was right. Not everyone has a happy ending. And you were certainly one of them.

I'm sorry for breaking our promise

©ɴᴄᴛᴡᴏʀsᴛsᴛᴜғғ@/ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ

#nct 127 #nct dream #nct #nct u #nct 2021 #nct imagines #nct angst #nct scenarios #renjun #nct drabbles #renjun drabbles #renjun angst #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #renjun x reader #nct x reader #nctzen #nct 2020

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tillthelandslide · 4 years ago

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Made to Love

Author's Note: Hello to all of you beautiful and wonderful people. I hope your day is going well. After having a whole day of writer's block, I listened to Made to Love by John Legend and this wonderful idea came into my head so I wrote it down. I hope you liked this and I'm thinking maybe I could do a part 2 if you guys like it?

This is set in a utopian world, not ours just so you know.

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(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)

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Growing up you were taught the laws of the world you lived in. You were taught that every person around you had different morals and different beliefs. But one thing everyone agreed on was the existence of soul mates, two people linked by destiny, made for each other, two people bound my fate to be together until death do they part. You were taught that you could tell who your soulmate is purely but the feeling you got. You were told that your soul mates aura would match yours and the closer you were to each other the deeper you would feel, the more intense your feelings would be, as if amplified by the other person. You were also taught that as you grew up you would get visions of your soul mate. You wouldn't see what they looked like or where they lived but would see visions of what they were like, what they did in their spare time. You knew yours was an actor (although how famous you didn't know), you knew he enjoyed video games just as much as you did, he grew up reading fantasy books just like you, you could feel that family was important to him, he had brothers but you weren't sure how many. You could also feel each other's emotions when you were apart, a constant reminder from destiny that you had to find each other to live in peace, to live in paradise with each other. The piece of information that made it difficult in finding him was that he was an actor, he was always travelling and was always filming. This made finding him difficult because you were a singer, a famous one at that, you were constantly on the road, never in the same place for more than a couple of days at a time.

But you were currently on a break from your life on the road, you had told your fans that you were going to take a hiatus and lots of them encouraged you to find your soul mate, because they wanted you to be happy.

One of the fundamental laws of soul mates was the push and pull dynamic, the more someone would push their soulmate away. the more they would find themselves needing that person. There were people who ignored these laws, and lived their lives running from destiny. Soulmates who were yet to find each other were allowed to carry out temporary relationships with non-soul mate individuals, named "betas" but were forbidden to marry them or reproduce with them. Again there were those who hated these laws, those who married non-soulmates to spite destiny.

As for you, you had a few relationships with betas, but they never satisfied that of your deepest desire. It was fun getting to know betas and you found yourself loving them, but not in the way that soulmates would love each other. Eventually the relationship between betas would come to an end when the other found their soulmate. But you were yet to find yours so all of your beta relationships had ended because they had been successful in carrying out the law.

So here you were, alone in your house in London, what was the point of a break if I can't even find my soulmate? you thought. You were beginning to lose hope, maybe you had done something to spite destiny and this was its way of punishing you.

You had begun to feel ill, your mother bringing you some soup in hopes you would feel better. Your mother was one of few individuals, who destiny had granted multiple soul mates, this only happened to people whose original soul mate had passed, destiny would grant them another if they had successfully carried out the law of soul mates in all its glory. And your mother had, she had found her soulmate when she was 21 and had gotten married soon after, having 4 beautiful children (you included) before sadly her soul mate (your father) and passed. Destiny had decided that she carried out the law so well that she deserved another one.

To say it irked you was an understatement, you were happy for her, sure, but there she was having had 2 soul mates and you were yet to find yours.

"He's on he's way dear" she said, as she was leaving your home.

"I don't know ma" you frowned, rubbing your forehead I wish this throbbing in my head would stop for christ sake you thought.

"He is, my love. Now rest and get better, I have to meet Derek for lunch" she said referring to your step farther.

"Have a lovely day ma" you said, making her smile and leave you.

Your head throbbed again, making you have to close your eyes as you felt like you were going to faint.

"What in the world?" you said, your hand coming up to rest against the wall to stop yourself from falling.

Sit down love you heard his voice in your head say. Oh yeah, another side effect of not finding your soulmate was having this kind of connection with them, they could communicate with you, through your mind. It sounds ridiculous but it's true, it takes practice to successfully send a message to your soul mate, apparently it becomes painstakingly easy when you've actually met them.

"You're not helping me" you chuckled out, crashing on your sofa.

You need to rest, your making me feel nauseous his voice said again

"Oh thanks love. Sorry to be such a pain" you said, sarcastically.

Sorry love you heard him chuckle

"It would be a lot easier if you were here dickhead" you laughed, joking with him, your eyes still shut. An image flashed in your mind... A lot of green, that's all you could see for miles.

"What are you doing?" you laughed, talking about the vision you got.

Walking Kal

"all I can see is green, like for miles?" you asked, and you heard him chuckle. He didn't say anything else and you sighed, resting your head against your sofa.

Wish I could help you. He sounded sad and he felt sad too, you could physically feel him frowning, but you knew it felt worse for him, that's how it worked. You were feeling dizzy, which meant he was feeling it a little too.

"Would be so much easier if I knew where you were." you said, your cat jumping up to sit on you.

Y'know how it works love, can't tell you that

He was right, another stupid rule was that if one soulmate attempted to send a message containing information about where they were or where they lived, the information would be corrupted, all the other would hear is muffled speech.

"I'll leave you to it then my love" you said quietly.

Okay love, rest well. Get someone to come round and look after you

"I'll try." you said. You managed to open your eyes, the world spinning a lot less now, the same throbbing in your head like someone was constantly playing a drum in there. You picked up your phone texting your best friend.

"Hey. Not well. Please come save me 😂" you typed, short sentences will have to do you thought.

"coming" was all you received back. Your friend arrived 10 minutes later, as she lived close by. She let herself in calling your name, to which you just groaned.

"Oh c'mon you big baby, it can't be that bad" she said upon seeing you.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have what feels like someone kicking your head in every 2 seconds" you said, groaning when she tried pulling you up from your seat.

"We're going for a walk, the fresh air will do you good." she said, forcing your shoes on your feet.

"Really? I'm not well" you pouted.

"C'mon you need air" she said, pulling you up and to the door.

You began walking, every few steps you had to stop and shut your eyes, your vision became blurry and your head pounded and pounded with every step. You could see green again, a park?

"Hey it's okay, I've got you I'm here, Cmon sit down" she said, leading you to a bench.

Another vision: a bench?

Another one: two women?

Another one: a dog jumping excitedly

What was that?: An American Akita?

"This isn't working" you groaned loudly, your vision coming back to you, you looked around you, you were in a park, surrounded by green.

"Oh my god" you said, your head pounding, like a drum getting louder. You stood suddenly, your feet hurt but they carried you forward, you didn’t want to be walking but your body had other plans, your legs hurt... Everything hurt.

What's happening? You heard him say

You were falling, falling, your head throbbing more than ever, just as you were about to hit the ground, you felt something soft... Hands? You opened your eyes briefly, two blue eyes, the left had a bit of brown in it

And then? Nothing.

The next thing you know, you were lying on the pavement, your head no longer hurt... That's good you thought. You opened your eyes, seeing the same blue eyes, your heart felt like it exploded, your back shooting up from the ground on its own accord, turning to look at the man.

"Oh my god" you cried, he was here, you found him.

"Told you to rest, love" he said, somehow making a joke out of it, but he had tears in his eyes too. You wrapped your arms around him, him pulling you to his chest.

"It's okay I've got you love, I've got you" he said, hugging you like he was never going to let go.

"You found me" you said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I found you alright" he said, nodding as tears fell from his eyes.

"Henry" you said, suddenly knowing his name as if you'd always known it, you knew everything there was to know about him, and he you.

"Y/N" he uttered, his hand grasping your face tightly in his hand, bringing it closer to his so he could finally kiss you. His lips were perfect against yours, it was everything everyone told you it would be, nothing but heightened emotions, destiny and fate.

"I love you so much" he uttered against your lips.

"I love you too" you replied, pulling back from the kiss.

"How's the head?" he said, his fingers rubbing at your temple.

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justkarliekloss · 4 years ago

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Joshlie timeline

I’m using this article by Jewish website Hey Alma as the base, and I’ve added details they’ve missed or didn’t add.

2019

Some stories I missed on Part 4 and that I can’t add there because I reached the links limit 😅

-> January

While Upstate, Karlie posts a story with a photo of Josh eating (burned) pancakes (x)

-> May

Josh posts a story of Karlie at the Liberty Science Center Gala (x)

Josh posts a video of Karlie out and about in NY (x)

-> June

After their second wedding, Josh posts two photos of Karlie on his stories (x) (x)

* They are spotted out and about in NY. Judging by the Gucci ad you can see on the photo, the photo was probably taken during fall this year (x)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2020

-> January

Karlie posts her 2019 video recap, where she mentions Josh a few times (a trip to St. Louis to celebrate with her family, their wedding anniversary, burguer Josh at the Met Gala)

She posts some stories from her trip to New Zealand where she thanks Josh for being “the best instagram husband” (x)

They are seen out and about in NYC (x) and attend Dasha Zukova’s wedding (x) (x)

Josh posts a photo of Karlie with Mikey and Misha at their Upstate place (x)

Karlie posts a recap video of January where we can see some new clips from some of the moments mentioned before (x)

-> February

They attend the Super Bowl (x)

Josh posts a photo of Karlie, probably Upstate (x)

They both post for Valentine’s Day (x) (x)

Another year, another All- Star game (x) (x) (x)

-> March

Karlie posts a story with Josh at their Upstate place, where they are spending lockdown (x)

-> April

On a podcast released this month with Diane Von Furstenberg, Karlie opens a bit more about her relationship with Josh (x)

“I really followed my heart on choosing to be with the person that I love, despite any complications that came with it,” [...] “You know, I knew for me, it was worth it to fight for that.”

Karlie shares some photos on instagram that she captions “a few of the things i hold very dear to my heart now and always ❤️”, and she includes Josh on one of them (x)

Karlie cuts Josh hair during lockdown (x) (x)

Josh shows up at Karlie’s live with Headspace (x)

Karlie posts a story of Josh playing the piano at their Upstate place (x)

Karlie shares again a video from their trip to Big Sur (x)

-> May

Josh crashes another live, though this time we just hear him (around min 25) (x)

Josh posts a couple of stories of Karlie at his office in NY (x) (x)

They are spotted at their place/Josh’s office balcony (x) (x)

Josh posts a photo of Karlie (x)

On a Youtube video Karlie mentions that Josh wakes her up with a kiss, though she thinks it’s so she gets up and he can make the bed 😅 (x)

-> July

They are spotted out and about in LA (x) (x)

Karlie shared a photo with Josh remembering people to wear a mask (still very relatable as I’m typing this) (x)

-> August

Josh posts for Karlie’s birthday (x) and shares a video of Karlie and Mikey to wish him a happy birthday (x)

Josh posts a photo of Karlie (x), and Karlie shares a photo with Josh from when she received her birthday cake (x)

Karlie posts a photo with Josh at Burning man (x) He’s wearing the same clothes as on her Valentine’s Day post, so this may be from 2019 (on her recap video Karlie mentiones she went there for just a day)

-> September

They are spotted eating dinner in NY (x) (x)

They celebrate Rosh Hashanah with Josh’s family (x)

They are spotted in NY (x) (x)

-> October

Both Karlie and Josh post for their 2nd wedding anniversary (x) (x)

People magazine announces that Karlie is expecting her first child with Josh 🥺 (x)

-> November

Karlie confirms her pregnancy on ig (x)

They are spotted in NY (x)

Karlie posts another photo showing her bump (x) and Josh posts the first photo of Karlie pregnant (x)

-> December

They buy a house in Miami (x)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2021

-> 11th March

Karlie gives birth to their first son together, Levi Joseph (x) (x)

#karlie kloss #joshua kushner #joshlie

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mcwriting · 4 years ago

Text

starstruck (8)

Hellooooo... sorry I didn’t post this on Friday, I was super busy all day/night finishing up my summer college course + other stuff. I haven’t finished 9 yet so it should go up next week :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Fandom: Tom Holland

Ship: Tom x reader

Setting: LA, Seoul

Word Count: 1964

Warnings: maybe some mild language idk

Rating: K+

__________________________________

Tom burst through the door of the hotel room being used as a lounge for his and his castmates’ teams while they did press.

He was late, and his management stood up as soon as they noticed him.

“Thomas! Where have you been? We’ve been calling all morning! This isn’t a good look,” his publicist started.

“Yeah we’ve been having to make excuses for over a half hour for you. Everyone else started interviews ten minutes ago. Let’s get you in there,” the manager continued.

“No,” Tom replied blankly.

“What?” they asked at the same time.

“I said no. I’m not doing things on your volition anymore. I’m tired of disappointing people and living a fake life just because you two have decided against the things I want to do. I’m sorry to do this right now, but you’re both fired.”

“You can’t be serious Tom. You know me! I’ve been with you for years!” his now ex-manager said.

“Yeah, come on. Who’s going to keep you relevant without me?” the former publicist asked.

“I think I’ll be able to manage just fine by myself, and if I want new help I’ll find someone better than both of you. You two have been jeopardizing my personal life for far too long in the name of fame and I can’t stand for it any longer. Harry will arrange for you two to get to your homes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go do my job.”

With that, Tom walked across the hall into the interview room, where he was met with a few cheers and the smiling faces of his costars.

__________________________________

“How are we gonna get her back to you?” Harrison asked late that night as everyone huddled around a table eating snacks. “I mean, I don’t think she’s going to come running back into your arms any time soon.”

The boys munched on chips and swigged Korean beer as they contemplated. Tom felt like a weight was off his shoulders now that he was free from his management.

“Doesn’t she have that friend? Maybe she could help us out.” Sam suggested.

“I don’t know, man. Y/n said she’s a huge fan. But they’re also best friends. Would she even be willing to let me near y/n? And if so, do you think she’d keep a secret that big?” Tom replied.

“It’s worth a shot, innit? Maybe she’d understand?” Harry thought aloud.

After some deliberation, the boys settled on sending b/f/n a dm through Harrison’s instagram to seem slightly less conspicuous in case you happened to notice her dms.

They didn’t expect an immediate reply. Midnight in Seoul was 8 am in LA, but luckily b/f/n had woken up early to work out since you were going to her house later that day.

The message asked her to help you and Tom reconnect and hopefully reconcile in person, and asked her to keep it a secret.

She was shocked to say the least, and unsure of whether to trust them after the hurt you’d experienced, but finally answered back after a few minutes.

Okay. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I know I can get her to this formal next Friday night if you can make it.

She sent a link to the page for the upcoming event. It was a fundraiser gala for people of all ages. The site said it was sold out, but Tom knew he could probably find a way in.

That’s perfect. All you need to do is get her there. And you absolutely cannot tell her any of this or the whole thing might be ruined

Oh believe me, I won’t. I honestly want this as much as you guys, she’s been super bummed still and I just want to see her happy again. I’ll try to get back to you with her dress color and stuff if you want to coordinate.

Perfect. We’ll be in touch.

The boys fistpumped and high fived as they planned out flights and scheduling and finding a way to get those tickets. Eventually, they retired to their respective hotel rooms, since Tom would have one last day of press before heading home.

__________________________________

Back in LA, b/f/n was now standing with you in her kitchen, watching you mix up some sauce for mac and cheese.

She leaned back against the counter as you stirred and added ingredients.

“Hey are you still going to the formal next Friday?” b/f/n asked.

“The what?” You didn’t look up.

“Remember? The big formal next week? All our friends are gonna be there.”

You thought about it for a second and then looked over at her as you turned off the stove burner.

“Oh my God. I totally forgot about that. I guess not since, 1: it’s probably sold out, and 2: I don’t have anything to wear.”

B/f/n smirked, turning to pick something up from behind her while you poured the sauce and pasta into a baking dish, topping it with breadcrumbs.

“Well I think I have the first thing covered…” she trailed, holding up two tickets.

“You didn’t,” you smiled, stepping away from the dish. “No way.”

“Yes, way. I figured you’d forgotten with everything going on and snagged one up, even though I was mad at you. Who else would I take as my date? It’s not like I have a boyfriend.”

You went up and hugged her.

“You are literally the best friend ever.”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied proudly.

“But I still don’t have a dress. I don’t even know where to start,” you worried aloud as you put the pasta in the oven.

“Well… I kind of maybe looked up places at the mall that have dresses I know you’d like.”

“Oh my gosh. Is that why you want to go to the mall so bad? I can’t tell if I love or hate you for that.”

“You know you love me. Now how long is that mac and cheese gonna be? My stomach is growling.”

__________________________________

After your pasta lunch, b/f/n and you drove to the mall, where she took you to 3 different dress shops. You were relieved to find that no one had followed you, as it seemed interest in you had diminished after everything you’d said.

“I’m getting the feeling I’m not gonna find anything I like. Maybe we should just give up,” you suggested after almost two hours of trying things on.

“Come on. There’s one more place at this mall and I saved it for last because there’s a dress I think you’ll really like.”

She drug you through the building and up an escalator until you finally came upon the shop. There were some really pretty dresses in the window display, so you felt a little bit less nervous when you walked in.

An employee asked if you needed help upon entering. B/f/n showed her a screenshot on her phone, and the lady immediately led you towards the back of the store. She pulled a black bag from the rack and hung it on another one near the dressing rooms.

“I think this is the one you’re looking for. Let me know if you need anything else,” she said, walking off.

“Okay, y/n. Close your eyes so I can unzip the bag. I want to surprise you.”

You did as told, putting a hand over your face for good measure. You heard the zipper and some rustling before b/f/n told you to look.

You opened your eyes to find a long, navy, satin dress staring right back at you.

“Whoa,” you whispered, going up to inspect it closely.

It was beautiful. It had a classic ball gown shape with a slit up the thigh and a beaded lace bodice. The neckline was in a deep V and the straps came up and over your shoulders. The back was low cut and a thin strip of silver beads circumvented the waistline.

“Sooo… what do you think?” b/f/n questioned.

“I- b/f/n. This is incredible.”

“Wanna try it on?”

You nodded enthusiastically and stepped into a dressing room with it. After a good minute of struggling through the inner tulle layers, you finally got it secure and was able to zip it yourself.

When you stepped out of the room and saw yourself in the mirror, you gasped.

“Y/n. You look amazing. What do you think?”

You didn’t answer her because you were too focused on how you looked to even process what she said.

“How are you ladies do- wow. That’s a gorgeous look on you,” the lady from before said as she came around the corner.

She helped adjust it a little, seeing whether it needed alterations or not.

“You’re in luck. This fits you like a glove. It does seem a bit long, but I’m assuming you’ll wear heels?”

You nodded, still speechless.

“So? This the one?” b/f/n asked.

“Yes. Absolutely yes,” you returned, beaming.

“I’ll go ring you up, then,” the employee said, leaving you to take off the dress and put your normal, boring clothes back on. You’d initially been saving up to buy a dress, and still had the funds since forgetting about it.

You and b/f/n hauled the dress bag around like your lives depended on it as you went on a search for matching shoes.

It took another half hour or so of walking around stores and trying on heels before you found a pair.

They were strappy and silver and the perfect height for your dress length. You couldn’t believe your luck.

__________________________________

Now that you’d finally gotten everything, you and b/f/n headed to your house so you could show your parents, who were by then off work.

Your dad was fixing himself a snack when you both came in the door, you wrangling the dress over your head and her carrying the shoe box.

“Woah, girls. Whatcha got there?” he asked.

“Just my dress for the fundraiser formal next Friday…”

“Oh yeah I forgot about that. I think your mom and I will be skipping out this year but I’m glad you’re getting to go.”

“I forgot too until b/f/n reminded me. I’ll go put it on here in a minute. Where’s mom?”

“She’s in the office. Why don’t you surprise her?” he suggested, so you did exactly that.

You quickly got the dress and shoes on (with b/f/n’s help) and tried to quietly come down the hall. It was difficult since your heels clacked, your dress swished, and you and b/f/n tried not to let out cackles.

You popped just your head in the office doorway.

“Hey mom. What are you up to?”

“Oh hey honey. I’m just filing some charts. I’m almost done. Why?” she replied, only looking up from the computer to initially address you.

“Well I just wanted you to see something. And by something, I mean this.”

You slid into full view, and your mother’s jaw dropped. B/f/n appeared in the doorway behind you.

“Sweetie, you look beautiful! Did you just get this today?” you nodded as she got up to look at the dress closer. “Is this for next week?”

“Yeah. B/f/n bought me tickets and then took me out to look at dresses today,” you slung an arm around her shoulder. “I basically have the best friend in the world.”

“Well I love it and I’m so excited to see you both dressed up together next week. I think this is the perfect symbol for new beginnings!”

With that you gave a “hear, hear!” in agreement.

__________________________________

Tag List: @marvel-lously, @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @dreamyvans, @lisannehus, @honeymoonpeter, @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven, @chenellearose, @photoshopart15, @parkeret, @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch, @racewife2004

To be added, pls message me or send an ask. Also lmk if you’d like to be part of my permanent tag list!

#starstruck #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #Harry Holland #harrison osterfield #sam holland

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ubernoxa · 5 years ago

Text

The Sip: A GNR Modern Day AU

Chapter 6: Just Friends

Previous Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Chapter Summary: Alanah gets a call from her manager and Duff surprises her with some help.

Warning: Fluff

I sat on the couch in Sandy’s and my apartment wishing I was anywhere else.

Declan had surprised Sandy for dinner and they were currently out eating at some fancy restaurant.

A couple hours earlier, Declan showed up at our door with a dozen roses dresses in a full suit. Apparently it was their six month anniversary, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw Sandy at the party last night. There are times I wonder if she knows what the definition of committed relationship is. I can’t judge though, my last relationships was borderline fake.

Originally we were supposed to record, but they both looked so excited to go. Before Sandy could break the news to him on how she couldn’t go, I told her we could reschedule. We had some prerecorded stuff, so we could just post that instead. She was still hesitant, so I added on that I could livestream cooking. Eventually she caved and left for her dinner with Declan. I hope she didn’t cheat on him, but the way that stranger’s arm was wrapped around her led me to believe the worst. She was supposed to be the smart one out of the two of us. She didn’t leave without making a comment on how I should invite Duff over for the stream. I swear she just wanted me to get in a relationship again, so we could go on double dates and couples vacations.

I continued to stare in the mirror as I finished applying my foundation. My heart skipped a beat as the sound of my phone ringing echoed through my apartment. Duff?

To my disappointment, it was only my media manager..well both Sandy’s and my media manager. We hired her a while back to help us with the legal side of YouTube and to help with our social presence.

“Hey Alanah, hows it going?”

“Good, Good...preparing to do the livestream I just texted you about,” I began to begin working on my eyes as I spoke.

“Okay well...you know how I hate getting into your personal life Alanah, but...” God I wish she would just spit it out. I knew she was going to ask about if I was dating Duff or not. I know we’re not, but I....I don’t know. After this morning’s bathroom event, I needed to know what that meant to him. No way that was just two friends hanging out, or maybe that’s how a rockstar hangs out with girls? Fuck.

“Are you dating Duff,” I let a fake laugh escape me once she finally got around to asking the question.

“No, just friends.” Yup, just friends would had sex multiple times in the past 24 hours and then relaxed in a jacuzzi together. Just casual friend things.

My manager went silent for a couple seconds. Was she expecting me to say yes?

“Things just ended with Mark, and I just want to enjoy being single. I won’t lie, I shed a couple tears when I heard he said Alanah who....but I’ve heard worst things. Why are you asking?” I stopped applying my makeup and focused on my manager. She went silent again, and that wasn’t ever a good sign.

“Well, you were tagged in some social media posts.....” she once again paused causing my patience to go extinct. SPIT IT OUT.

“There was a video from the paparazzi, Ill send it your way. I know Mark is a celebrity, but he wasn’t a household name like Duff. If you two do start dating you are aware that you are going to lose your sense of privacy right? You’ll be added to his list of ex’s. That’s what you will be known for,” I let out a sigh as she finished talking. Jesus Christ, we aren’t even dating and I was already getting this talk.

“Just friends,” I faked the confidence in my voice before I heard her mumble something.

“Well I’m glad you’re doing well, I’ll send you a link to the video I was referencing. If you and Duff are JUST FRIENDS you should ask him to help cook for your stream tonight,”

“Really?” I sounded like a nervous middle schooler as I spoke. Why was I nervous?

“Yeah, could be fun. Have a good one Alanah,” she hung up before I could even say goodbye...typical.

I opened up Instagram and was immediately met with a bunch of notifications. Whoever ran the Gun’s Instagram page had tagged me in a couple of photos. Most of them consisted of photos from earlier in the night of us around the BBQ. I was surprised to see that I looked decent in most of them, and in a couple...only a couple of the photos...Duff and I did look like we were dating. He had is arm wrapped around my waist or I was sitting on his lap. We aren’t dating though just friends.

I went over to his page to message him, and that’s when I froze. I immediately clicked on the most recent post and scrolled through the photos. There was one photo that caught my attention. It was from when we were eating dinner last night. It must have been cropped because it was just the two of us, but I remembered this moment. He had just made a joke that was so stupid I couldn’t help, but laugh. Yesterday I didn’t notice it, but he was smiling down at me as I giggled in the photo and he had his hand wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t read into that much more. We are just friends. We are nothing more than friends. FRIENDS.

I logged into the Instagram account specifically for Sandy’s and my YouTube channel and began to record a video.

“Hey guy! Hope you’re haveing a great Tuesday. Sandy is out celebrating an anniversary so you’re stuck with me tonight!”

“Tonight I will be live-streaming me attempting to cook something you guys comment below! So comment your ideas and hopefully I won’t burn them!”

I then when to share the video on twitter and Tumblr to try to gain traction.

I put some music on and began to scroll through the comments trying to find an idea of what to cook. The comments started out as helpful but after some scrolling a lot of the comment were about Duff....I placed my phone out and let out a sigh.

“Are you and Duff dating?”

“Wow, talk about a rebound”

“Duff + Alanah... #upgrade”

Why did I have to deal with this bull shit? Not that I wouldn’t mind being his girlfriend....but he was a rockstar and we were JUST FRIENDS.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone began to ring. Speaking of the devil, it was Duff.

“Hey, what’s up?” I smiled as I looked at my screen. His hair was all over the place and he looked exhausted. It must had been a long practice.

“I’m about 30 seconds away from killing my bandmates, you?”

“Well I’m currently trying to chose what to cook for my livestream,” I quickly checked what I looked like on the screen. I was thankful that I put makeup on and did my hair, I looked pretty good..not to toot my own horn or anything.

“How about Thai Salmon?” I was caught off guard by his recommendation.

“Ohhh uhhh I don’t know how to bake that.....and umm...I don’t want to look like a fool on livestream,” I was tripping over my words, unable to cease talking.

“Well if you need help, I’m actually a decent cook. I could even show you some stuff if you want,” he wanted to help me cook?

“Yeah sure!” I could feel a smile growing on my cheek from ear to ear as I spoke. I watched a smile flash on his face as I answered.

“Great! So I’ll bring the ingredients we need and we also have to soak the salmon for two hours before it’s cooked!”

My stomach was performing backflips as Duff talked. He was excited. He was excited to hang out with me. Holy shit.

Time flew by as I began to setup the two cameras. The first was on a rather large tripod allowing you to see the entire kitchen, which wasn’t much, and the second was a small camera that would be used for more close up shots.

***Buzz***

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard my apartment’s doorbell ring. I bolted towards my intercom to the lobby, “Hello?”

“Hey Alanah, it’s Duff I got the stuff, wanna let me in or we can try to cook in the lobby?” I chuckled as I hit a button on my intercom and buzzed in. What if he thinks less of me because of my small apartment? What if he thinks I’m below him? Is my apartment too dirty? Is it too clean?

A knock at the door pulled me out of my chaotic merry-go-round of thoughts.

I took a deep breath and opened my door.

“So this is what your apartment looks like,” he had a small smile on his face as he walked around looking at the photos that hung on the wall.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” I shrugged leaning against the table for support.

“Its cozy! I got the food, shall we begin?”

“Umm...yeah..uhhh..yeah..so since the salmon needs to marinate I’m doing a little prerecording for the video to post later in the week if that’s fine,” I wanted to kick myself repeatedly for stumbling over my words. God! I felt like such a baffoon.

“How can I help?” I watched as he looked at my camera positioned to look at the entire room.

“You can do whatever you want! If you wanna help with the cameras it’s up to you. If you want to sit on the couch and be on your phone that’s fine too,” I shrugged watching his body language as I spoke. He actually wanted to help....the rockstar was looking to help..weird okay.

“So that camera there is for overall shots while this one is for like close up,” I held up the second camera showing him how to properly hold it.

“So this first part isn’t live?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make everyone wait two hours. I usually take live-streams and create highlight videos,” I began to pull the items out of Duff’s cloth bag.

I looked over to see Duff fiddling with the second camera and eventually turning it on. Out of the corner of my eye I then watched as he turned on the second one. Maybe he wasn’t as unfamiliar with cameras as I expected him to be.

I then felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

“Hey...Duff,” I could feel my heart rate about to explode through my chest. I’ve had sex with him before, why was I nervous around him? Why the hell was him being so close to me making my stomach become an Olympic gymnast?

“Don’t mind me, I’m just turning on your mic,” and with that I hear a faint click from a small switch that turned my mic on. He then clapped once and went to pick up the second camera.

“I’m ready when you are,” I could feel my cheeks turning red as he spoke. His damn smirk never leaving his stupid face. He knew what he was doing.

“Alright, welcome to another cooking with Alanah and Sandy, but this time there is no Sandy so we will see what happens! My current goal is to not burn the food,” before I could continue Duff’s laughter echoed through my apartment.

“What? Also cameramen should be quiet!” I teased back pointing at the camera, only making his laugh harder.

“Alanah, babe, I’ve seen your previous cooking videos and I think your goal should be to not burn down your apartment,” I froze as I tried to make out what he said between laughing.

Babe?

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t get rid of the smile that had grown on my face.

“Alright so tonight we are making teriyaki salmon! The first step is to create the marinate!” I pulled out the cooking instructions I had made Duff write before he came over.

“Alright so for the sweet chili sauce we will combine water, white vinegar, cornstach, garlic clove, and.......maple syrup,” I looked over at Duff as I read the last ingredient.

“Are you messing with me Duff?” His laughter filled the room once again and I couldn’t help but join him. His laugh was contagious.

“If I was messing with you I would have either been more subtle or more outlandish,” I watched as he placed the camera on my mini tripod infornt of the bowls I had setup for mixing.

We spent the next thirty minutes preparing the sauce together, and I loved every second of it.

“And now we wait for two hours while the salmon soaks,” Duff said into the camera before smirking at me. He was good in front of a camera and he knew it.

“So now we have two hours,” I finished turning off the cameras and my mic as he spoke.

“Do you have anything in mind in how to spend the time?” This time I couldn’t help but let a smirk wander into my face.

Without hesitation, Duff pulled me in and we began to kiss as he dragged me to my bedroom.

#gnr imagine #gnr fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfic #guns n’ roses imagine #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfiction #duff fanfic

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cinemairon · 5 years ago

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Probably losing my job for defending my ethics

I don’t often write posts here about personal matters. But when I do, it’s something serious.

Long story short, an insta famous quote writer in my country was approached by one of the ladies in the Publisher Company I (used to?) work as an illustrator the last 3 to 4 months. His aesthetic is dark in a not positive way. Smoke, alcohol, drugs and f***ing women like animals. His signature the dirty and harsh vocabulary.

I wished his book would be different. That he would show a different face. That the lady in charge would make the wisest choices out of his texts. I was troubled from the start because no matter how many followers this man has on instagram, he also has many people against him, criticizing his sexism and the point of view he shows for life behind this persona he has created.

I was sent 2 texts form the 60, so I can make art based on them for him to choose his illustrator. Unfortunately, I was chosen. The two texts were not exceptional but not as bad either. So I agreed to do this and I was sent the texts. The first was the one of the two I made the picture for. But what came after, I did not expect.

Hardcore non respectful sex which includes violence and humiliation, tones of smoking and drinking, drugs, animal abuse and other things you probably don’t wanna know.

Women are all described as useless little whores graving for sex (with him), they love his possessiveness, his violent slapping, spanking, spitting, swearing and for them this drunk, dirty old man is their ONE while for him they all are just another f*** that bores him. Lesbians appear as the ones that will f*** your girlfriend with a huge...well...let’s say tool, which he calls “f***-machine”, and in the same category go Bi women, which, according to him, are unfaithful and “they grave for d**** in the morning and then eat p**** at night”. And men...in his universe the real men are the ones that hunt you down and treat you like the trash and whore you are. And constant references of orgies being boring because the women are useless and he is too bored spending more than half of the time giving them instructions....

The cat is also unfed for month, abused, kicked, hit, thrown from balconies, set on fire, multi-”taken” (by male cats) and chased with a kitchen knife.

When I finished reading those 60 texts I was feeling sick...me, the fan of Film Noir, Japanese Cinema of Sion Sono...hentai even, I can handle hardcore hentai but this made me sick. It made me feel dirty.

Is this the world we want? Are these the examples we want to have? Teenagers read this man and adore him. In my country there is no sex ed in schools...kids learn about it from what they read and see around, mostly the internet. Is this what we want them to think it is like? This is the example our boys will have to how they should treat women? Or our girls for their own value? (Did suddenly Emergence Metamorphosis become the norm?) Where is the respect for women? For animals, for friends? The world is not just black and grey. It’s not perfect but it’s not the worst either.

I called the Publisher in the morning to tell her I can’t do this. To ask her what does she think about all this. They never sent her the texts except that one of the 2-3 that were, let’s say decent. You see, she just gave birth a couple of months ago, so, she is absent. But I trust her. I trust her judge and honesty. I mentioned the things above and she got really upset. She also got worried by the fact he added the link of a known porn site’s video in one of his texts. She gave me the freedom to quit this project and so I wrote a very polite mail to the girl that was running this about why I can’t be a part of this project since it goes against my personal beliefs. She got offended, accused me I am trying to sabotage her work by talking to the publisher, also accusing me I used expressions I never did, and telling me she doesn’t want to ever work with me again. I answered calmly clearing up my intentions were never harmful and wished her luck. But I got also a call from her mother, the Manager who runs everything now the Publisher is not there. She is upset and offended. She told me she would call me to tell me why. She hasn’t all day.

But I think that means my cooperation with this Publisher Company is over...but I regret nothing. I stood my ground and defended the values my parents taught me. I did what I believe was right.

But it’s as Billy Wilder said:

If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.

No good deed goes unpunished.

#personal #ethical matter #against sexism #job issue #misogny #animal abuse #violence

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moneysourceyt · 4 years ago

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My Personal Experience With John Crestani’s Super Affiliate System

How It All Started

It all started on one weekend when I was scrolling on my Twitter timeline. My attention was drawn to this one retweet from one of my friends on Twitter. He had retweeted a tweet by John Crestani. I don’t remember much about what exactly the tweet was all about but it was something in the line of “financial freedom” and “making passive income.” I guess I was a little too excited to pay attention to the details.

So, I clicked on the link provided and found myself on what looked like a well-crafted landing page. On this page, John shared lots of information regarding a system that he had discovered and one that he believed could empower beginner and intermediate affiliate marketers.

I wasn’t new to affiliate marketing at that time. The first time I heard of it was back in 2014 when I was doing some online research on how to make money online. After sifting through dozens of scams, I finally managed to sign up for the Amazon Associate program.

Once my account was approved, I simply went to my back-end, picked a few banner codes and pasted them on my blog. At that time, I didn’t know much about targeting the right audience and the need for being niche specific.

So, as fate would have it, my affiliate marketing dream hit a snag. My account was closed within 90 days and that’s because despite delivering some clicks, no one was buying through my affiliate links. To cut the long story short, I completely gave up on the idea of making money online by getting random strangers to make purchases through some goddamn links.

I chose to stick to my day job which to be honest I didn’t like that much. But as any other person looking to pay the bills would do, I had to keep going to the office, deal with numerous client calls and sit in a dimly lit cubicle all day.

So, when I came across John Crestani’s tweet and eventually the landing page, my dream of being independent once again came back to life.

Who Is John Crestani

The reason John grabbed my attention is that he had a story that was almost similar to mine. He was once stuck in a boring day job but unfortunately, for him, he got fired without a clear exit strategy. I can only imagine if I was the one in such a situation. How would I pay my rent? How would I convince my daughter that there was no food in the house or money to keep the AC working?

But John somehow managed to go through it all, effectively building a $500k business from scratch. Having seen it all, John seeks to help you and me learn the tricks and techniques it took him years to master.

I really liked how genuine he sounded but, to be honest, I was still a bit skeptical. That’s because John kept talking about his current affluent life. I even peeped into his Instagram and Facebook pages and realized that he frequently posts photos of himself standing next to Lamborghini’s. Why do you need a Lambo to sell a $47 course?

I am not a fun of marketing tactics that involve showing off what one owns or drives. If anything, it’s always possible to rent a Lambo and fool people on social media that it’s all yours.

In my opinion, if John could spare us all the stuff about his personal life, he can be a bit more convincing and authoritative. Otherwise, one might mistake him for a scammer despite the fact that he’s selling a really good course.

How It Works

So, I started out by signing up for the Internet Jetset program. It’s a subscription-based service which goes for $47. This program comprises some awesome lessons for beginners. In particular, it walks you through some awesome ways to generate valuable traffic without spending a dime.

These are strategies that other marketers hardly talk about. And even if they talk about them, they hardly bother to get into the details as John does.

The lessons are presented in video format. John narrates everything using screen recordings. This makes his courses pretty easy to follow. In fact, you can do everything he says as he narrates to you and that’s because it’s possible to pause the videos and resume when necessary.

What I didn’t like, however, is that it’s not possible to “fast-forward” the videos. So, if you’re already familiar with whatever John is talking about at any given moment, you’d have no alternative than to still listen to it. This can be quite annoying and time wasting.

Also, I don’t know if it’s just me or that John talks really slowly. Some of the lessons could have been 30 minutes but he talks rather slowly and a good number of them go up to 45 minutes in length. The upside is that you get some highly detailed and in-depth training no matter your level of skills.

Also, the Internet Jetset courses are divided into tiny, little portions. Ideally, you should take 1 module per week meaning you’d need several weeks to finish the entire program. Fortunately, you don’t have to finish it for you to start making real cash. You can start using your skills to get the systems up and running. For instance, you can use the skills learned within the Google Free Traffic Module to tap into the power of SEO.

The Upsells

The Jetset is pretty affordable at $47 per month, so what’s the catch? Well, the catch is that you’ll constantly receive emails from John enticing you to buy one of the premium packages on offer. For instance, if you’re already enrolled in the Internet JetSet program, you’ll constantly be enticed to go for the Super Affiliate program which goes for close to $1,000.

There’s also the JetsetLIVE webinars package that goes for $97. You’ll also find the JetSet Xtreme Members course which goes for $187.

I accidentally subscribed to the JetSet Xtreme Members course when I clicked on the link out of curiosity. And instead of being taken to a check out page, I got a message reading “Thank you for purchasing the Jetset Xtreme Members” course.

My Thoughts on the JetSet Xtreme Members Course

This is a platform full of pre-recorded videos of other affiliate marketers who have used this system to successfully make money. The course also provides you with links to third-party tools that you can use to make purchases. At first, I thought these were free tools but upon clicking on them I realized they belonged to other companies and you had to pay up to use them.

So, in my opinion, while the JetSet Xtreme is full of value especially if you’re looking to learn from the experiences of other affiliate marketers, it doesn’t really provide you with free tools. Just a bunch of affiliate links to other services.

I did not find this part of the program to be worth the $187 they charge for it. And for that reason, I claimed my money back. Fortunately, John kept his word and I got back all the money I had accidentally spent on this upsell.

I really liked the fact that the company is made up of honest people. It’s rare to come across companies that are willing to refund money nowadays – so two thumbs up to the Super Affiliate System team.

My Thoughts on the $997 Super Affiliate System (SAS)

While the Internet Jetset program focuses on the free sources of traffic, the SAS shows you exactly what you need to do to leverage on paid traffic methods. In my opinion, the $997 you pay for this course is worth it but only if you’re willing to sit down and learn the tricks. It won’t work like magic.

You see, everyone can place an advert on Facebook, Instagram or even Google Adwords. But if you ask around, you’ll realize that most of those ads don’t convert. It doesn’t matter how much you invest in the course unless you really understand the psychology of the buyer, you’d end up making shots in the dark.

The good thing with paid traffic is that it works almost instantly. That’s unlike the free traffic methods which take months or even years to materialize. So, if you don’t have the time to build dozens of backlinks and implement other SEO tasks for your site to rank (which normally takes years), this strategy enables you to start making money immediately.

And the best part is that besides exposing you to the language of paid affiliate marketing, the SAS course also provides you with 3 core skills. These include:

Copywriting

Data analysis

Research

In general, the SAS is an 8-week course which comprises 50 hours’ worth of content. It also contains lots of additional resources that can help complement your unique strategy.

Week One – The System Setup

This section of the training mainly comprises stuff to do with creating a website, setting up a presell page and rolling out Facebook ads.

Week Two – Understanding the System

Introduces you to the core skills of online business. It also aims to help you unlock a super affiliate mindset so you can profit from different situations.

Week Three – Marketing Skills

How do you get people to click on your ads and convert? As we all know, it takes an expert to hack this. Luckily, those skills are provided within this section of the training.

Week Four – Facebook & Google Ads

Facebook and Google have more than 2 billion active users per month. So, if you were to get a piece of this pie, chances are that you’d make some pretty huge bucks as well. And that’s what John Crestani does in week 4 of his training.

Week Five – Native & YouTube Ads

Ever thought of leveraging the power of native ads? Basically, native ads are ones that are included within a media format. For instance, you can include such ads on your webpage content and so forth. Besides that, you’ll also get to learn how to do YouTube Ads and so forth.

Week Six – Scaling and Outsourcing

Once you have the skills needed to make the first dollars, you’ll need to find ways to grow and expand your trade. Using the tidbits shared in the 6-th week of this training, you’ll be able to outsource and automate quite a number of tasks so you can focus on growing your business.

Week Seven – More Ad Campaigns

Most people usually limit themselves to Google and Facebook. But did you know that there’s a lot of unused potential on platforms like LinkedIn and Bing? In this module, you’ll be able to learn about all that plus a lot more.

Week Eight – Implementing the System

If you’re wondering which ad network to join and which niche to embrace, this is the module you’ll need to take. It’s a highly advanced section of the training that helps you decide the direction you want your online business to follow.

My Results

After going through this program, I’d like to admit that I learned quite a lot. Most importantly, I was able to re-apply for the Amazon Associates program and got accepted. I have been making quite some bucks over the last few years. One of my sites rakes in $1500 while the other one brings about $2000 per month.

My goal is to scale these two sites up – I know there’s potential to make $10,000 per site (per month) with more content and a stronger SEO presence. But that might take time. For now, I appreciate the fact that the investment I made in the Super Affiliate System is now paying back.

The Pros & Cons

Pros

Easy to use

Contains tons of useful advice

Relevant information provided

Well thought out curriculum

John is a good trainer and he takes time to explain different points

They offer a genuine money back guarantee

Pre-built templates for ads

Cons

Customer support only available via email

Quite a few optional upsells included

Frequent emails were sent to market their upsells

Final Thoughts

The Super Affiliate System by John Crestani is not without its flaws. But that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. In fact, as long as you’re willing to learn and implement its contents, you can truly benefit from it. I personally would recommend it to any person looking to make genuine cash in the vast online markets.

You can check it out here.

#money #makingmoneyonline #make money online #make money fast #making money online

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avaliveradio · 4 years ago

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Kama Linden Releases a Song about Summer 'Belmar Breeze'

Band Name: Kama Linden

Song name: Belmar Breezes

Music Genre: pop/adult contemporary

I live in... Bronx, NY

Link to play: BELMAR BREEZES https://open.spotify.com/track/5Kafd6tHkpTuRqXkpqvdrI?si=UfgJ6QxoSeq4KASG_KMNSw

BELMAR BREEZES is a song about Summer, but also a visual, detailed description of my version of PARADISE. The Jersey Shore is an oasis for me. I run the beautiful boards of Belmar to Spring Lake, and back, I go to the ocean after 5 pm until maybe 8 pm and walk along the ocean, listening to the calming ocean waves, and the funny seagulls.

I watch the most amazing sunsets you have ever seen, and the big, bright moons that come up over the ocean, that you cannot see anywhere else. People are friendly and happy, even during COVID. I play my guitar on the boardwalks of a few of the beaches. I live for summer. One day I hope to live in Belmar, or close to it.

IF I'M WRONG is a song I wrote on Route 70 in maybe 15-20 minutes while driving. It is about making your own choices, and IF I'M WRONG, well, fine. But I took a chance. I did not lead a SAFE and boring life. I became an artist. I traveled. I funded my projects.

I have been swindled out of money, usually by unscrupulous men, but I am here to tell you about it. I am a survivor. I live for me and do not allow myself to be controlled or manipulated, or if it happens, it is short-lived, I figure it out, and I flee the situation :). I am brave and need to try new things, take road trips, meet new people/new friends, and write and sing what is in my heart.

My music is...

Every song is different. Uninhibited was an eclectic pop/rock mix. Better Late Than Never has a theme of a single woman's journey through love, life, loss, and finding G-d. Southern Country is COUNTRY and was recorded with musicians who play at the Grand Ole Opry.

However, Everything In Good Time is a story about letting what will be, come to be. Not rushing to get there and missing the sights. Getting it right vs. getting it now. Not forcing a result.

It is the quintessential story a parent tells a child: “Que sera, sera”. It is a dedication to two great ladies, my Mom, and Nana, who guided me through life and answered the questions of an inquisitive, precocious, and artistic child. My songs are reflections, observations, and dedications. It took me 4 studio albums to finally have my voice and my music captured the way they should be captured. I hope that you will enjoy this journey that I have created, culminating over 20 years of songwriting.

The song "Everything In Good Time" is a conversation between my Nana and I: A precocious little girl who want all the answers RIGHT NOW, and my Nana just telling me, "Don't Worry, it will be fine. You will be beautiful. You will be an actress. You will meet a nice man....just relax...."

If I'm Wrong as I described above, is the song about taking chances, and living a brave life, not a safe, "doing the norm" out of fear of failure or living up to other people's expectations instead of my own. Darla Perlozzi, of Misstyx studio, was able to find me the best musicians as they were all on furlough due to Covid. Tony Toliver's mastery of the piano was out of this world! I dreamed about the piano is a very important part of “If I’m Wrong”. I wanted a higher descending piano line like Vanessa Carlton's "1000 Miles", and then a lower one. But on this song, you will hear the guitar riffs of James Mitchell in the beginning.

Jim was able to telepathically understand what it was I was looking for in so many of my songs and took the helm. Tony also did the amazing keyboard work you hear in "Searching For Madonna" an "Belmar Breezes"...which was SUPPOSED to just be a SIMPLE piano song...both turned into the amazing masterpieces that they were! Tony and Jim went back and forth and just added more and more parts just because they liked my songs, unlike the musicians from "Southern Comfort" who were old guys who liked to COMPLAIN. Tony and Jim, as well as Darla, and her husband Timmy Patterson, play for A-listers! And here they were, giving me their ALL...little old me!

Rodney Ingle is hands down the BEST engineer I EVER WORKED WITH! He was instrumental in capturing my true voice the way it should be recorded. After I banged out the lead vocals to 11 songs in 4 hours, he made suggestions for the harmony lines, which I layered one by one like an individual melody. His guidance, professionalism, and mastery made this the best album I ever made. An album I WOULD GO AN BUY and listen to every day.

How do you think this release represents your current direction…

BELMAR BREEZES: Anyone who knows me or is on my Facebook will see photo after photo of my Jersey Shore escapades. Big moons. Beaches with lots of umbrellas. Timed shots of me in my sunhat, sunglasses, and bathing suits. Making the most out of life and summer. Connecting with other people. Vocally calming, beautiful, descriptive, and inspirational.

IF I'M WRONG: Is the 'in your face', brave, doesn't take no for an answer, taking chance kind of song, like "Better Late Than Never" was. Unapologetic. Feel-good music.

I write the lyrics, melodies, basic chords...play them over and over until I feel good about them, but the musicians from Darla' studio were the ones who brought everything from black and white into color.

James Mitchell, guitars and just guru who got inside my head.

Tony Toliver's mastery of the piano: I dreamed about the piano is a very important part of “If I’m Wrong”. He did more than this for me. He brought so many of my songs to life, and because of him, I do not “hate organ”. He is the reason "Belmar Breezes" sounds like it does. And "Searching For Madonna".

Timmy Patterson's wonderful bass playing, and for keeping me calm. He is the studio business side as well. We tracked 11 songs (12 tracks) in 14 hours, and I was worried about not being able to sing all the songs in one day. BUT I DID!

Darla Perlozzi, of MissStyx Studio, picked up my project when all seemed lost. The previous "producer" bailed on me, and I was better for it. Just listen to the difference in "Make Room For Mama" and "Make Room For Mama 2020". Darla did everything from putting together the best team, working with my budget, and giving me the album I should have had from other studios, at a NASHVILLE price! And of course, for her wonderful drum beats.

What most inspires you?:

Although I started writing songs when I was 10, they began to fill my head around 1998. Songs would wae me up in the middle of the night. I could run to one song, and be inspired to write a song because of that song. Sometimes it is a simple sentence or catchphrase, like "Better Late Than Never": "What Took You So Long" was one of the last lines in the movie, "Singles". "Everything In Good Time" is what a parent or Nana tells an impatient child. You have only to go to Belmar to experience "Belmar Breezes".... it could be 90-100 degrees outside, and yet this Tradewind will kick up, and you feel like you are standing in front of the refrigerator.

"You're On Video" is about the constant scandals where you WILL BE FILMED on someone's phone, and brought to public justice on Instagram or the news. Think of all the police brutality incidents from Eric Garner to recent protests. Hit and run accidents. Hate speech. You will be filmed! You can't escape. Conversely, "Searching For Madonna" was pre-COVID: being so wrapped up in your phones and gadgets, that you have forgotten humanity, spirituality, and anything but taking selfies and scrolling through nonsensical posts of someone's breakfast.

Writing music is not a choice. It's a NEED. I don't think I could make it stop if I wanted to. Some songs come quickly, like "If I'm Wrong". Some I will write down a line or two, and come back to it years later. Each song is like a birth of a child. Sometimes I go a week or two with no writing, and sometimes It is like a flood of songs. When people hear my lyrics or a small child comes up to me on the boardwalk, dancing and smiling, "I love your voice" like Lara did on Saturday evening at Seaside, or a group of teens passing by stop to listen, jam along, clap, dance....even give a thumbs up...that is why I do it. Being remembered. Not just fame. But have a reason why I was put on this earth and what I will leave behind ("Here She Lies").

I took piano lessons from childhood, but I am one with my guitar. Ibanez. I have four of them. You will see me on the boardwalk with my black one, (Black Ivy) and in shows/photos with my purple one (Miss Plum)

I will hopefully record any future music with Darla's team, but like the movie "Once", all of this happened because I was furloughed, and the musicians were as well, and who knows if we will ever have the opportunity to work together as a team again, once everyone goes back to their touring schedules. I do my scratch recordings with a condenser mic an garage band and hope to eventually, finally learn ProTools.

What was one notable event that helped shape your last decade?

I really can't think of "one". Everything is just small little steps that eventually become part of a journey. But from 2016 onward, I taught fewer classes for the horrible and abusive gym and worked more on SAG-AFTRA projects. Of course, everything has been shut down for COVID.

What’s your goal for 2020?:

Take "Everything In Good Time" to the heights it needs to reach! It is an album that MUST be HEARD. I snuck off to Nashville during a pandemic to record it with the best musicians in the world and released it during a pandemic. It can be for nothing. It is also my best work yet. The songs are relevant! "You're On Video", "We Could Be Friends" (Black Lives Matter and other discrimination and divisiveness), "Your Love Hurts" (domestic violence).

When I started, my first recordings were on "DAT"...

Then someone said, "You need to find a studio with ProTools". My first album and half were recorded at "Night Owl", and then I like paid what would buy me a small condo to finish "Better Late Than Never" at Cove City in Long Island. I trusted 3 "labels" who kept my money, took my money, and were lazy.

Now I am in control of my production as well as finding people to promote my music. I also have learned that I can go to Nashville an get a quality recording, vs spending through the nose in NY. Like, NY, you have to weed through, as te 1st team was ok for the time, but when Darla's team explained that they probably had the mic on backward, recorded me on the clunky 2-inch machine they threw out when they took over the studio, didn't give me my tracks in a ProTools session so I could remix them if I wanted to, vs the amazing project I recorded with Darla's people. Darla and I bonded over being females, it is a boy's club, especially in Nashville. One guy must have been trolling Darla's FB, and although I just recorded at Darla's studio, wrote to me via my website, and wanted to know who I recorded with.

I told him I was happy, and would never record ANYWHERE again except for Misstyx, which prompted an angry rant, and "do you know who I am" and "I will have you blacklisted from the musician's union".....so I called the musician's union. Everyone knows everyone, so both Tony (my piano player) and Darla, and a few other folks, shut him up.

Every time I get a guy who tries to scam me out of money ($150 to be on some blog in Nashville that no one has ever heard of) and he says, "You don't know how the music business works!" I just laugh. Musicians today have to do some digging, shopping, and unfortunately, occasionally being scammed or overpaying the wrong people, but it is easier to get it right now thanks to the public opinions online. Do good work, get good reviews. I was also scammed by "Loggins" bac in 2006 or 2007. They charged $750 a week and then tacked on charges for "gift cards" I did not agree to. You couldn't stop them from charging your card for like 2 weeks (you had to give "notice"). I eventually called "Loggins" to ask why I was not receiving ASCAP royalties for all the radio promotion he did, and he could not answer.

Musicians have all the tools they need to create and promote music. I could have bought a house with the mistakes I have made over the past 20 years. But I have learned to do my research and search out the right people to help me.

Website & social media links: :

Kama Linden: www.kamalinden.com New album: "Everything In Good Time" June 20, 2020:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/5RHPPSDhiiYpmt55p1ONeL?si=-WQaDYe9Ttu9eoj73sTNqg Apple:https://music.apple.com/us/album/everything-in-good-time/1517559501 Bandcamp:https://kamalinden.bandcamp.com/album/everything-in-good-time

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kamalindenmusic

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kamalindenmusic

#Kama Linden #bronx #New York

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shijiujun · 5 years ago

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ICYMI - some Chris news

so hahahaha as always I camp on weibo on the days before the fanmeet and during the fanmeet - and anyway so something happened yesterday in case anyone is interested to know:

chris just added yesterday on his instagram profile that ‘modification and reupload, and creation of any products (with his photos) without permission isn’t allowed’

so my first thought is - totally fair, about time, i mean that’s what we all do with our own uploads right, and copyright issues - he does own his damn photos and whatever he says about it, it’s totally fine

and then what erupted on weibo was:

1. strangely, some of his fans started to blame his manager? like i don’t even mean like calling her a bitch or anything (although there was that) but all out in like 100 words and more saying that she’s a really incompetent manager, and how did someone like her ever get to manage chris, and how she’s chasing away all of chris’ fans and you get the drift - basically okay so i’m sure they’ve been unhappy with his manager (for whatever reasons) for a while now and the fans claim that she’s been terrible all along but gosh the point is, they started bashing her online - i mean, it takes A LOT OF MENTAL ACROBATICS to link that disclaimer on his instagram post to her - this is so reminiscent of the bashing on director lee over ep 17 gosh

2. AND TAGGING CHRIS ON WEIBO ON THESE POSTS BASHING HER?!!!! okay literally NO ONE knows what’s going on between him and his manager, and unless you know him personally you literally got no right to talk shit AND TAG HIM about the woman who literally takes care of his every job and gets him resources and supports him at events and every shooting ever - apparently she left her previous mgmt company to follow chris to this new company if I didn’t read it wrong

3. and then, some fans started bashing CHRIS HIMSELF? i saw this one weibo message listing out like 6 point on what he did wrong with posting that disclaimer, even going as far as to say “do you know why you don’t have as many likes on your uploads as jake’s? it’s because you do stuff like this and you don’t know how to market yourself and keep pushing your fans away, and also because u have a shitty manager” (something along these lines, you get my point) - and not only that, they tagged chris in that bashing note like... what’s the point?!!! the worst thing was they started to say that he’s not being a very nice person and that obviously with this he doesn’t care for the fans etc. (and come on we all know what kind of person chris is)

4. some fans took offence because - when a lot of fansite admins give out free stuff to other fans at fanmeets, they of course do take some of the photos from his social media and andy’s and kenny’s and jake’s to print photocards etc. and idk why some fans started to say that basically the disclaimer means he has a problem with these freebies being handed out with his photos on them etc., and because of this they say him and his manager are purposely chasing away his fans (goshhhhh), even at the taipei fanmeeting apparently some fans also, after seeing the freebies being given out, were also concerned about copyright issues but i mean, there wasn’t a huge hoo-hah about it because this happens all the time and the fansite admins are doing this mostly for free

5. so chris was in hangzhou when this all happened right, i think he literally just arrived in hangzhou when the comments started appearing, and a lot of other fans were like ‘you guys know that chris likes to hang out and read through all the messages on the history3 topic board on weibo right, why are you guys putting up so many hurtful messages?’- if you guys dont have weibo, it’s like china’s version of twitter but with like topic boards? so history3 has a huge topic board there and if you mention it your ‘tweet’ appears there

6. and lo and behold, during today’s fanmeet, the host actually put aside some time during the talking segment so that chris could explain himself (think it was nice of the host to do that and the way he said it even tho chris might have asked for the opportunity to explain himself) - and omg his face-

he LEGIT starts off by saying ‘so i think some of you have misunderstood me so i wanted to take the opportunity to talk about it’ and he looked so pitiful and sad and looking like he was trying not to cry (okay i don’t think he was gonna cry but he did look a little distressed but had to smile through it)

and then he clarified that he’s very happy for his fans to reupload his photos, “to photoshop away that pimple on his face” etc., that’s totally fine (so basically saying that the disclaimer was never aimed at these fans)

he heard some rumors that people have been selling stuff with his social media photos on them and basically some fans might get cheated by these people right

and thus, the whole debate on weibo was for nothing because he’s concerned that fans are getting cheated and he was kind of taking steps to ensure that no one would pay money for basically non-official merchandise (and yes of course to protect his own copyright which i feel is totally fine)

the audience was pretty supportive - they kept things like ‘we believe you’ etc. at him but while he was talking so LOL he had to actually stop and go “okay guys, please let me finish talking first”

and at the end of it he said, “so i hope you guys don’t misunderstand me anymore”

hahaha so this was just what happened over these two days - and I’m just kinda appalled that this snowballed into such a huge thing that chris himself had to come out and explain it? it’s so common for any of us to put ‘don’t repost’ or ‘any work here done is mine’ or ‘photos are ours’ etc. and we understand because ownership right - so to bash chris and his manager for that... i’m a little mindblown, and then for chris to have to even explain himself about this, it’s totally ridiculous because those photos literally are his, he can do whatever he wants with them with the reuploads and modifications etc.

some level-headed chinese fans came out in defense of him by having to literally explain what ‘copyright’ means LOL - and actually as long as money isn’t involved, and you don’t use his stuff for commercial purposes without permission, more or less everyone closes an eye and allows it

finally, we all know what a sweetheart chris is?!!! i mean we don’t know him personally at all but he’s so sincere to his fans, i can’t imagine him turning on his fans in any disrespectful way and for no reason whatsoever because he’s so grateful to have all his fans after having a few tough years

and once again, this is why we can’t have nice things

#history 3: 圈套 #history3: trapped #history3圈套 #fandom freakouts #trapped news desk #chris wu #hangzhou fanmeet

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juminsmysticmc · 5 years ago

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Saeyoung’s After Life Chapter 5

(LAST CHAPTER)

Go to Chapter: 1 here/ 2 here / 3 here / 4 here

So, yesterday someone contacted me via Instagram and thought that the last two chapter got deleted since there was no link....I’m sorry I hope this won’t confuse anyone, let me explain: I write my writings in my Masterlist to show you what will come next and to make my life easier because just adding a link is quicker, HAHAH I’M SO LAZY XD and since we talk about being lazy....I was to lazy to correct this chapter, that’s why it took me so long, lmao XD but now I’m posting it...have fun my lovely Fonys :3

Ps. If some of you memorized my Masterlist and got confused, yes, I planned to write a 6th chapter but realized that the last two chapters were really short so I put them together, heheh XD

Saeyoung’s POV

,,Please take care of them, guys...“ I mumbled and looked at Zen, Yoosung and Jaehee. ,,Don’t worry....“ Jaehee mumbled. She was clearly worried. Well, I was too. It was uncertain if I would be back alive after all. ,,It’s kind of unfair that the trust fund kid is allowed to come along just because he‘s rich.“ Zen complained. I looked at him ,,I would rather send you than risking my life there, trust me.“ I snapped. Perhaps I was a bit too hard on him since he was helping me out... Hopefully I will have time to apologize to him after everything is finished.... My thoughts often wandered to my little family while we were driving in Jumin‘s van.

,,Let’s talk about the plan....“ Saeran mumbled as he typed something into the laptop. ,,We will first kidnap the man in black, his name is Lee Sang Chul. He‘s the prime minister’s right hand and the one who followed us in the past. He was also the one who hurt Mc and the twins.... After we have him, we will interrogate him, that would be team A’s task. Team B will hid cameras in the surroundings so that we have enough evidence.“ Saeran explained with a layout of the place. Everyone nodded and agreed to it. And so we followed the plan. It was pretty easy to kidnap Mr. Lee Jumin simply began to talk to him and explained, who he was. The plan was to tell him that he was interested to work together with the Prime Minister. In the next moment however, Mr. Lee was dragged into the inside of the Van.

,,Who are you?“ he snapped. ,,You still don’t know?“ I asked and began to throttle him. ,,Saeyoung, we need him alive.“ Jumin said as he observed us. ,,Unfortunately.“ I snapped and tried to stay calm while the man, who almost killed my family, glared at me. A bodyguard began to film the scene as Jumin calmly tried to get information out of him. But the right hand of the Prime Minister stayed silent like a dead man. ,,The Prime Minister will eventually go to prison, you won’t face danger if you tell us now.“ Jumin said. ,,I....am loyal.“ he mumbled and looked away. The man was depressed, I could see that it was pretty hard for him too. ,,Why did you do that to my family?! Is that the way to show him that you’re loyal? Dirtying your hands with blood?! A pregnant woman? Twins?! Who the hell was loyal to us? We never did anything to this man! I don’t know and I don’t wish to know what my mother tried with that ass BUT WE ARE TRYING TO LIFE!“ I yelled.

The man was still looking away, he actually looked pretty pitiful but I tried to ignore these feelings. Before Jumin could say anything someone hit the van‘s door pretty hard. ,,SAEYOUNG, JUMIN! WE NEED TO FLEE!“ Saeran screamed from behind, making me panic. ,,Why?!“ I yelled as I opened the door. ,,They found out! What will happen if they realize that Mc is alone without us?!“ Saeran snapped and tried to catch breath. ,,Aish!“ I yelled and looked at the man. And him? But we couldn’t think about it. Everything went quickly, five minutes of hell.

The prime Minister’s guards held guns up, ready to fire at us. ,,NOW!“ Jumin yelled and all his bodyguards appeared from the hidden places, holding the Prime Minister’s guards. ,,AT LEAST KILL THE DEMON!“ our ,,Father“ yelled and glared at me before he took his own gun. I saw the bullet and regretted everything I did in my life. What if we would have stayed with our mother instead of going to Rika? Would I still have met Mc? Would I still be a father? What will have happen to my baby if I die now? To my two tomato princesses? Who will snatch them away from me? Will Mc be able to forgive me for dying? Will she live without me? I wasn’t sure. All these thoughts hit me in five seconds. Five seconds before my body fell backwards. Blood was on my chest, my back was aching and my butt was scratched by now.

,,SAEYOUNG!“ I heard Saeran yell. I turned to Saeran and saw how another bodyguard got a hold of the strong man we feared so far - the Prime Minister. I looked at my chest, blood, I was soaked in blood. Fortunately it wasn’t my blood.... ,,Why?“ I asked Mr Lee as he puked blood on me. I stayed like that. I was able to hear his words better like that. ,,Because...I was sorry...I wanted to free myself from these regrets and wrong doings. I wanted the two of you to live happily...I really wanted to....“ he mumbled before he collapsed on me.

Fear hit you in the middle of the night when someone tried to open the door, however mistaking the password four times. You immediately jumped up, realizing that your reaction was too quickly. You felt dizzy and were almost falling backwards but Zen was right behind you, supporting you like a strong rock. ,,Princess, take it easy!“ he told you as he looked at you. ,,Hid my children! Hid them! They are coming for us!“ you began to sob as the door opened. It was over, wasn’t it? ,,I MEAN, WHO THE HELL CHOOSES ARABIC AND FORGETS HOW TO SAY IT?!“ Saeran yelled as he supported his older twin brother. ,,The word has a similar word, I just did wrong because I‘m not in my right mind.“ he laughed and looked at you. The sight of Zen supporting you made him jealous but he was happy to see you. ,,Are you well, Mc?“ he asked you as tears streamed down your face. ,,Why are you soaked with blood?!“ you cried. ,,Not his blood.“ Saeran snapped. ,,Why are you supporting him then?“ you still asked. ,,Because this idiot began to jump around and got hurt at his ankle.“ Saeran once again responded before he let go of Saeyoung. Saeyoung approached you and hugged you. You weren’t the only one who was crying now. ,,J-Jumin?“ you sobbed. ,,With the police...he will take care. Children?“ ,,A-asleep....“ you sobbed harder. Your legs almost gave up but Saeyoung supported you for good. This night the whole group decided to sleep at Saeyoung’s place, just to wake up two hours later. None understood the fuss except for you and your husband of course.

,,SHE‘S GIVING BIRTH GET THE CAR!“ Saeyoung yelled as he supported you. ,,Saeyoung! Saeyoung it’s different! Something is wrong Saeyoung!“ you kept crying, clutching your belly. ,,Mc try to breath, breath!“ Saeyoung comforted you and held your hand. He tried to make you feel better but in his head he had completely different thoughts. Was this what the doctor meant? Were unhappy things bound to happen? In an instand Saeyoung and the other boys helped you to get into the car. Jaehee went along with the two of you while Saeran had the task to drive a second car since the twins had to come along. Yoosung couldn’t drive and since Zen was in an accident once, Saeyoung trusted only his brother. The girls didn’t know what was happening. All they knew was that their mom was sick once again. ,,SHE‘S LOOSING TOO MUCH BLOOD!“ the nurse screamed as you lied down, completely pale in the white hospital room. ,,SHE HAS NO STRENGTH LEFT!“ someone else yelled as the red haired father was pushed out of the room. Saeyoung‘s heart was breaking apart when he turned around to take a last look into the room. He noticed that you were searching for him. His wife longed for him. This was the most horrible labor for everyone. The medical support was at their limit, as well as the midwife and you. But after a lot of complications and fears you finally gave birth. And even through you still weren’t awake after one day and your new born boy was in the intubation, Saeyoung was happy because everyone was alive after all. ,,How will you name him?“ Saeran asked when he visited his brother. ,,Sang Chul. Choi Sang Chul.“ Saeyoung nodded.

,,Yung Mi, Mun Hee, Sang Chul! Please stay here!“ you yelled as your 10 years old girls ran through the park together with their younger brother. You were really afraid that your son could fall and hurt himself. ,,Run behind them!“ you snapped at your husband. ,,Huh?“ he asked you as he chewed his chips. ,,You just don’t know how it works.“ Saeyoung laughed and begann to yell ,,OI! I HAVE HONEY BUDDAH CHIPS!“ You had to hide your smile as you saw how the children ran back to their dad to get the chips. ,,Now, stay here, yeah?“ you slightly scolded them as you took your son up and in your ams and held Yung Mi’s hand. ,,Mun Hee, take Unni‘s hand and Daddy‘s!“ she ordered and so like a family you walked through the park.

THE END

This story is dedicated to @khaizusan. She actually requested a story where the Prime Minister found out about the twins, since she draw a picture with Saeyoung and the twins (Chapter 1) and so I began to write about it. I didn’t imagine that this would take 5 Chapters but I‘m happy that you guys kept waiting for me. Thank you.

Tagging: « @khaizusan @sailormoonrocks666 @foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @widya345 @r-f-a-journalists @loveto-hateyou @sleeplesspieces @shirokazekikagami »

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blackfreethinkers · 5 years ago

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Two kindergartners in Utah told a Latino boy that President Trump would send him back to Mexico, and teenagers in Maine sneered "Ban Muslims" at a classmate wearing a hijab. In Tennessee, a group of middle-schoolers linked arms, imitating the president's proposed border wall as they refused to let nonwhite students pass. In Ohio, another group of middle-schoolers surrounded a mixed-race sixth-grader and, as she confided to her mother, told the girl: "This is Trump country."

Since Trump's rise to the nation’s highest office, his inflammatory language — often condemned as racist and xenophobic — has seeped into schools across America. Many bullies now target other children differently than they used to, with kids as young as 6 mimicking the president’s insults and the cruel way he delivers them.

Trump’s words, those chanted by his followers at campaign rallies and even his last name have been wielded by students and school staff members to harass children more than 300 times since the start of 2016, a Washington Post review of 28,000 news stories found. At least three-quarters of the attacks were directed at kids who are Hispanic, black or Muslim, according to the analysis. Students have also been victimized because they support the president — more than 45 times during the same period.

Although many hateful episodes garnered coverage just after the election, The Post found that Trump-connected persecution of children has never stopped. Even without the huge total from November 2016, an average of nearly two incidents per school week have been publicly reported over the past four years. Still, because so much of the bullying never appears in the news, The Post’s figure represents a small fraction of the actual total. It also doesn’t include the thousands of slurs, swastikas and racial epithets that aren’t directly linked to Trump but that the president’s detractors argue his behavior has exacerbated.

“It’s gotten way worse since Trump got elected,” said Ashanty Bonilla, 17, a Mexican American high school junior in Idaho who faced so much ridicule from classmates last year that she transferred. “They hear it. They think it’s okay. The president says it. . . . Why can’t they?”

Asked about Trump’s effect on student behavior, White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham noted that first lady Melania Trump — whose “Be Best” campaign denounces online harassment — had encouraged kids worldwide to treat one another with respect.

First lady Melania Trump speaks at the White House in May 2018 about her “Be Best” campaign, which denounces online harassment. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)

“She knows that bullying is a universal problem for children that will be difficult to stop in its entirety,” Grisham wrote in an email, “but Mrs. Trump will continue her work on behalf of the next generation despite the media’s appetite to blame her for actions and situations outside of her control.”

Most schools don’t track the Trump bullying phenomenon, and researchers didn’t ask about it in a federal survey of 6,100 students in 2017, the most recent year with available data. One in five of those children, ages 12 to 18, reported being bullied at school, a rate unchanged since the previous count in 2015.

However, a 2016 online survey of over 10,000 kindergarten through 12th-grade educators by the Southern Poverty Law Center found that more than 2,500 “described specific incidents of bigotry and harassment that can be directly traced to election rhetoric,” although the overwhelming majority never made the news. In 476 cases, offenders used the phrase “build the wall.” In 672, they mentioned deportation.

Withrow University High School

Someone sprayed hateful graffiti across campus, declaring "F- - - N-words and Faggots" and "Trump." The graffiti also threatened gay and black students and featured multiple swastikas -- the latter often painted alongside the president's last name.

Lewiston High School

After Ashanty Bonilla, 17, tweeted criticism of Trump supporters who visit Mexico, a classmate posted her message on Snapchat alongside a racist response and a Confederate flag. The next day, classmates heckled the teen with racist jeers, tied a rope to the back of her car and wrote "Republican Trump 2020" on the back window.

Amon Carter-Riverside High School

Georgia Clark, an English teacher in Fort Worth, tweeted at President Trump asking him to remove undocumented immigrants from her high school. She mistakenly believed her messages were private.

For Cielo Castor, who is Mexican American, the experience at Kamiakin High in Kennewick, Wash., was searing. The day after the election, a friend told Cielo, then a sophomore, that he was glad Trump won because Mexicans were stealing American jobs. A year later, when the president was mentioned during her American literature course, she said she didn't support him and a classmate who did refused to sit next to her. “‘I don’t want to be around her,’ ” Cielo recalled him announcing as he opted for the floor instead. Then, on “America night” at a football game in October 2018 during Cielo’s senior year, schoolmates in the student section unfurled a “Make America Great Again” flag. Led by the boy who wouldn’t sit beside Cielo, the teenagers began to chant: “Build — the — wall!” Horrified, she confronted the instigator. “You can’t be doing that,” Cielo told him. He ignored her, she recalled, and the teenagers around him booed her. A cheerleading coach was the lone adult who tried to make them stop. “I felt like I was personally attacked. And it wasn’t like they were attacking my character. They were attacking my ethnicity, and it’s not like I can do anything about that.”

— Cielo Castor

After a photo of the teenagers with the flag appeared on social media, news about what had happened infuriated many of the school’s Latinos, who made up about a quarter of the 1,700-member student body. Cielo, then 17, hoped school officials would address the tension. When they didn’t, she attended that Wednesday’s school board meeting. “I don’t feel cared for,” she told the members, crying. A day later, the superintendent consoled her and the principal asked how he could help, recalled Cielo, now a college freshman. Afterward, school staff members addressed every class, but Hispanic students were still so angry that they organized a walkout. Some students heckled the protesters, waving MAGA caps at them. At the end of the day, Cielo left the school with a white friend who’d attended the protest; they passed an underclassman she didn’t know. “Look,” the boy said, “it’s one of those f---ing Mexicans.” She heard that school administrators — who declined to be interviewed for this article — suspended the teenager who had led the chant, but she doubts he has changed. Reached on Instagram, the teenager refused to talk about what happened, writing in a message that he didn’t want to discuss the incident “because it is in the past and everyone has moved on from it.” At the end, he added a sign-off: “Trump 2020.”

President Trump’s rhetoric has been condemned as racist and xenophobic since his candidacy began in 2015. Here is what he’s said. (The Washington Post)

Just as the president has repeatedly targeted Latinos, so, too, have school bullies. Of the incidents The Post tallied, half targeted Hispanics.

In one of the most extreme cases of abuse, a 13-year-old in New Jersey told a Mexican American schoolmate, who was 12, that “all Mexicans should go back behind the wall.” A day later, on June 19, 2019, the 13-year-old assaulted the boy and his mother, Beronica Ruiz, punching him and beating her unconscious, said the family’s attorney, Daniel Santiago. He wonders to what extent Trump’s repeated vilification of certain minorities played a role.

More than 300 Trump-inspired harassment incidents reported by news outlets from 2016-2019

Anti-Hispanic: 45%

Anti-black: 23%

Anti-Semitic: 7%

Anti-Muslim: 8%

Anti-LGBT: 4%

Anti-Trump: 14%

Note: Some incidents targeted multiple groups and, in other cases, the ethnicity/gender/religion of the intended target was unclear. Figures may not precisely add up because of rounding.

“When the president goes on TV and is saying things like Mexicans are rapists, Mexicans are criminals — these children don’t have the cognitive ability to say, ‘He’s just playing the role of a politician,’ ” Santiago argued. “The language that he’s using matters.” Ruiz’s son, who is now seeing a therapist, continues to endure nightmares from an experience that may take years to overcome. But experts say that discriminatory language can, on its own, harm children, especially those of color who may already feel marginalized. “It causes grave damage, as much physical as psychological,” said Elsa Barajas, who has counseled more than 1,000 children in her job at the Los Angeles Department of Mental Health. As a result, she has seen Hispanic students suffer from sleeplessness, lose interest in school, and experience inexplicable stomach pain and headaches.

For Ashanty Bonilla, the damage began with the response to a single tweet she shared 10 months ago. “Unpopular opinion,” Ashanty, then 16 and a sophomore at Lewiston High School in rural Idaho, wrote on April 9. “People who support Trump and go to Mexico for vacation really piss me off. Sorry not sorry.” Some of Ashanty Bonilla’s classmates at Lewiston High in rural Idaho harassed her last April after she tweeted a comment critical of Trump supporters. (Rajah Bose/For The Washington Post) A schoolmate, who is white, took a screen shot of her tweet and posted it to Snapchat, along with a Confederate flag. “Unpopular opinion but: people that are from Mexico and come in to America illegally or at all really piss me off,” he added in a message that spread rapidly among students. The next morning, as Ashanty arrived at school, half a dozen boys, including the one who had written the message, stood nearby. “You’re illegal. Go back to Mexico,” she heard one of them say. “F--- Mexicans.” Ashanty, shaken but silent, walked past as a friend yelled at the boys to shut up. In a 33,000-person town that is 94 percent white, Ashanty, whose father is half-black and whose mother is Mexican American, had always worked to fit in. She attended every football game and won a school spirit award as a freshman. She straightened her hair and dyed it blond, hoping to look more like her friends. “It’s gotten way worse since Trump got elected. They hear it. They think it’s okay. The president says it. . . . Why can’t they?”

— Ashanty Bonilla

She had known those boys who’d heckled her since they were little. For her 15th birthday the year before, some had danced at her quinceañera. A friend drove her off campus for lunch, but when they pulled back into the parking lot, Ashanty spotted people standing around her car. A rope had been tied from the back of the Honda Pilot to a pickup truck. “Republican Trump 2020,” someone had written in the dust on her back window. Hands trembling, Ashanty tried to untie the rope but couldn’t. She heard the laughing, sensed the cellphone cameras pointed at her. She began to weep. Lewiston’s principal, Kevin Driskill, said he and his staff met with the boys they knew were involved, making clear that “we have zero tolerance for any kind of actions like that.” The incidents, he suspected, stemmed mostly from ignorance. “Our lack of diversity probably comes with a lack of understanding,” Driskill said, but he added that he’s encouraged by the school district’s recent creation of a community group — following racist incidents on other campuses — meant to address those issues. That effort came too late for Ashanty. Some friends supported her, but others told her the boys were just joking. Don’t ruin their lives. She seldom attended classes the last month of school. That summer, she started having migraines and panic attacks. In August, amid her spiraling despair, Ashanty swallowed 27 pills from a bottle of antidepressants. A helicopter rushed her to a hospital in Spokane, Wash., 100 miles away. After that, she began seeing a therapist and, along with the friend who defended her, transferred to another school. Sometimes, she imagines how different life might be had she never written that tweet, but Ashanty tries not to blame herself and has learned to take more pride in her heritage. She just wishes the president understood the harm his words inflict. Even Trump’s last name has become something of a slur to many children of color, whether they’ve heard it shouted at them in hallways or, in her case, seen it written on the back window of a car. “It means,” she said, “you don’t belong.”

Georgia Clark taught English at Amon Carter-Riverside High School in Fort Worth, where a student accused her of racism. (Allison V. Smith/For The Washington Post) Three weeks into the 2018-19 school year, Miracle Slover's English teacher, she alleges, ordered black and Hispanic students to sit in the back of the classroom at their Fort Worth high school. At the time, Miracle was a junior. Georgia Clark, her teacher at Amon Carter-Riverside, often brought up Trump, Miracle said. He was a good person, she told the class, because he wanted to build a wall. “Every day was something new with immigration,” said Miracle, now 18, who has a black mother and a mixed-race father. “That Trump needs to take [immigrants] away. They do drugs, they bring drugs over here. They cause violence.” Some students tried to film Clark, and others complained to administrators, but none of it made a difference, Miracle said. Clark, an employee of the Fort Worth system since 1998, kept talking. Clark, who denies the teenager’s allegations, is one of more than 30 educators across the country accused of using the president’s name or rhetoric to harass students since he announced his candidacy, the Post analysis found. In Clark’s class, Miracle stayed quiet until late spring 2019. That day, she walked in wearing her hair “puffy,” split into two high buns. Clark, she said, told her it looked “nappy, like Marge off ‘The Simpsons.’ ” Unable to smother an angry reply, Miracle landed in the principal’s office. An administrator asked her to write a witness statement, and in it, she finally let go, scrawling her frustration across seven pages. “I just got tired of it,” she said. “I wrote a ton.” Still, Miracle said, school officials took no action until six weeks later, when Clark, 69, tweeted at Trump — in what she thought were private messages — requesting help deporting undocumented immigrants in Fort Worth schools. The posts went viral, drawing national condemnation. Clark was fired. “Every day was something new with immigration. That Trump needs to take [immigrants] away. They do drugs, they bring drugs over here. They cause violence.”

— Miracle Slover, referring to Georgia Clark, her former English teacher

Not always, though, are offenders removed from the classroom. The day after the 2016 election, Donnie Jones Jr.’s daughter was walking down a hallway at her Florida high school when, she says, a teacher warned her and two friends — all sophomores, all black — that Trump would “send you back to Africa.” The district suspended the teacher for three days and transferred him to another school. Just a few days later in California, a physical education teacher told a student that he would be deported under Trump. Two years ago in Maine, a substitute teacher referenced the president’s wall and promised a Lebanese American student, “You’re getting kicked out of my country.” More than a year later in Texas, a school employee flashed a coin bearing the word “ICE” at a Hispanic student. “Trump,” he said, “is working on a law where he can deport you.” Sometimes, Jones said, he doesn’t recognize America. “People now will say stuff that a couple of years ago they would not dare say,” Jones argued. He fears what his two youngest children, ages 11 and 9, might hear in their school hallways, especially if Trump is reelected. Now a senior, Miracle doesn’t regret what she wrote about Clark. Although the furor that followed forced Miracle to switch schools and quit her beloved dance team, she would do it again, she said. Clark’s punishment, her public disgrace, was worth it. About a week before Miracle’s 18th birthday, her mother checked Facebook to find a flurry of notifications. Friends were messaging to say that Clark had appealed her firing, and that the Texas education commissioner had intervened. Reluctant to spoil the birthday, Jowona Powell waited several days to tell her daughter, who doesn’t use social media. Citing a minor misstep in the school board’s firing process, the commissioner had ordered Carter-Riverside to pay Clark one year’s salary — or give the former teacher her job back.

A snapshot of the harassment in 2019

In the three months after the president tweeted on July 14, 2019, that four minority congresswomen should "go back” to the countries they came from, more than a dozen incidents of Trump-related school bullying — including several that used his exact language — were reported in the press.

Mahtomedi High School & Como Park Senior High School

During a soccer game, students taunted a majority Asian-American team (which also included at least one Hispanic player) by telling them to go back to their countries and calling them "Asian food names."

Baldwin High School & Piper High School

During a volleyball game, students told black players on the court to go back to where they came from and made monkey noises at them.

Barack and Michelle Obama Ninth Grade Center

After a 14-year-old failed to address a staffer with "Yes, sir," the man showed the student a coin with "ICE" written on it and said, "Even though you are a citizen, Trump is working on a law where he can deport you, too, because of your mom’s status." The man later lost his job.

Everett Alvarez High School

Frontier High School

Students waving "Make America Great Again" flags disrupted a meeting of the school's Gay Straight Alliance, breaking up the gathering by shouting slurs before following the group's members to the parking lot.

Edward Little High School

Students yelled "Build the wall!" and "Ban Muslims!" as a 16-year-old Muslim girl walked through the hallways.

A 16-year-old student was arrested after posting on social media -- shortly after the deadly mass shootings in Dayton and El Paso — a photo of a pickup displaying a Trump flag, a Confederate flag and several guns. He captioned the post, "west harrison ain't ready for round 2."

Fans told one Hispanic player on the opposing team to “go back to your country” and called others “f---ing beaner” and "wetback" during a soccer game.

During a game in which a student was accused of using a racial slur againt a black player, fans also waved a Trump sign and chanted "America" when their team scored.

Cheerleaders from a largely white school held up a sign that read "Make America Great Again" and "Trump the Leopards" before a football game against a much more diverse school.

Before a football game, players ran through a banner reading "Make America Great Again Trump Those Patriots," triggering a backlash.

At least two minority students were bullied — in separate incidents — because the district allowed students to display a Trump banner at a high school football game, according to parents and school board members.

After students painted the school rock with rainbows to celebrate National Coming Out Day, someone painted over it with "Trump 2020," "MAGA 2020," "NRA" and an expletive. Later, two students — one black, one white — got into a fight about the issue.

During a volleyball game, students told black players on the court to go back to where they came from and made monkey noises at them.

In an apparent prank against a schoolmate, students created a fake Twitter account — which praised Adolf Hitler and Trump in its bio — and tweeted out racist remarks against a black high school coach. Jordyn Covington stood when she heard the jeers. “Monkeys!” “You don’t belong here.” “Go back to where you came from!” From atop the bleachers that day in October, Jordyn, 15, could see her Piper High School volleyball teammates on the court in tears. The sobbing varsity players were all black, all from Kansas City, Kan., like her. Who was yelling? Jordyn wondered. She peered at the students in the opposing section. Most of them were white. “It was just sad,” said Jordyn, who plays for Piper’s junior varsity team. “And why? Why did it have to happen to us? We weren’t doing anything. We were simply playing volleyball.” Go back? To where? Jordyn, her friends and Piper’s nine black players were all born in the United States. “Just like everyone else,” Jordyn said. “Just like white people.” “It was just sad. And why? Why did it have to happen to us? We weren’t doing anything. We were simply playing volleyball.” The game, played at an overwhelmingly white rural high school, came three months after Trump tweeted that four minority congresswomen should “go back” to the “totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.” It was Jordyn’s first experience with racism, she said. But it was not the first time that fans at a school sports game had used the president to target students of color.

The Post found that players, parents or fans have used his name or words in at least 48 publicly reported cases, hurling hateful slogans at students competing in elementary, middle and high school games in 26 states. The venom has been shouted on football gridirons and soccer fields, on basketball and volleyball courts. Nearly 90 percent of incidents identified by The Post targeted players and fans of color, or teams fielded by schools with large minority populations. More than half focused on Hispanics.

In one of the earliest examples, students at a Wisconsin high school soccer game in April 2016 chanted “Trump, build a wall!” at black and Hispanic players. A few months later, students at a high school basketball game in Missouri turned their backs and hoisted a Trump/Pence campaign sign as the majority-black opposing team walked onto the court. In 2017, two high school girls in Alabama showed up at a football game pep rally with a sign reading “Put the Panic back in Hispanic” and a “Trump Make America Great Again” banner. In late 2017, two radio hosts announcing a high school basketball game in Iowa were caught on a hot mic describing Hispanic players as “español people.” “As Trump would say,” one broadcaster suggested, “go back where they came from.” Both announcers were fired. After the volleyball incident in Kansas, though, the fallout was more muted. The opposing school district, Baldwin City, commissioned an investigation and subsequently asserted that there was “no evidence” of racist jeers. Administrators from Piper’s school system dismissed that claim and countered with a statement supporting their students. An hour after the game, Jordyn fought to keep her eyes dry as she boarded the team bus home. When white players insisted that everything would be okay, she slipped in ear buds and selected “my mood playlist,” a collection of somber nighttime songs. She wiped her cheeks. Jordyn had long ago concluded that Trump didn’t want her — or “anyone who is just not white” — in the United States. But hearing other students shout it was different. Days later, her English teacher assigned an essay asking about “what’s right and what’s wrong.” At first, Jordyn thought she might write about the challenges transgender people face. Then she had another idea. “The students were making fun of us because we were different, like our hair and skin tone,” Jordyn wrote. “How are you gonna be mad at me and my friends for being black. . . . I love myself and so should all of you.” She read it aloud to the class. She finished, then looked up. Everyone began to applaud.

It's not just young Trump supporters who torment classmates because of who they are or what they believe. As one boy in North Carolina has come to understand, kids who oppose the president — kids like him — can be just as vicious. By Gavin Trump’s estimation, nearly everyone at his middle school in Chapel Hill comes from a Democratic family. So when the kids insist on calling him by his last name — even after he demands that they stop — the 13-year-old knows they want to provoke him, by trying to link the boy to the president they despise. In fifth grade, classmates would ask if he was related to the president, knowing he wasn’t. They would insinuate that Gavin agreed with the president on immigration and other polarizing issues. “They saw my last name as Trump, and we all hate Trump, so it was like, ‘We all hate you,’ ” he said. “I was like, ‘Why are you teasing me? I have no relationship to Trump at all. We just ended up with the same last name.’ ” Beyond kids like Gavin, the Post analysis also identified dozens of children across the country who were bullied, or even assaulted, because of their allegiance to the president. School staff members in at least 18 states, from Washington to West Virginia, have picked on students for wearing Trump gear or voicing support for him. Among teenagers, the confrontations have at times turned physical. A high school student in Northern California said that after she celebrated the 2016 election results on social media, a classmate accused her of hating Mexicans and attacked her, leaving the girl with a bloodied nose. Last February, a teenager at an Oklahoma high school was caught on video ripping a Trump sign out of a student’s hands and knocking a red MAGA cap off his head. And in the nation’s capital — where only 4 percent of voters cast ballots for Trump in 2016 — an outspoken conservative teenager said she had to leave her prestigious public school because she felt threatened. In a YouTube video, Jayne Zirkle, a high school senior, said that the trouble started when classmates at the School Without Walls discovered an online photo of her campaigning for Trump. She said students circulated the photo, harassed her online and called her a white supremacist. A D.C. school system official said they investigated the allegations and allowed Jayne to study from home to ensure she felt safe. “A lot of people who I thought were my best friends just all of a sudden totally turned their backs on me,” Jayne said. “People wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me.” For Gavin, the teasing began in fourth grade, soon after Trump announced his candidacy. After more than a year of schoolyard taunts, Gavin decided to go by his mother’s last name, Mather, when he started middle school. The teenager has been proactive, requesting that teachers call him by the new name, but it gets trickier, and more stressful, when substitutes fill in. He didn’t legally change his last name, so “Trump” still appears on the roster. The teasing has subsided, but the switch wasn’t easy. Gavin likes his real last name and feared that changing it would hurt his father’s feelings. His dad understood, but for Gavin, the guilt remains. “This is my name,” he said. “And I am abandoning my name.”

Maritza Avalos knows what's coming. It's 2020. The next presidential election is nine months away. She remembers what happened during the last one, when she was just 11. “Pack your bags,” kids told her. “You get a free trip to Mexico.” She’s now a freshman at Kamiakin High, the same Washington state school where her older sister, Cielo, confronted the teenagers who chanted “Build the wall” at a football game in late 2018. Maritza, 14, assumes the taunts that accompanied Trump’s last campaign will intensify with this one, too. “I try not to think about it,” she said, but for educators nationwide, the ongoing threat of politically charged harassment has been impossible to ignore. In response, schools have canceled mock elections, banned political gear, trained teachers, increased security, formed student-led mediation groups and created committees to develop anti-discrimination policies.

In California, the staff at Riverside Polytechnic High School has been preparing for this year’s presidential election since the day after the last one. On Nov. 9, 2016, counselors held a workshop in the library for students to share their feelings. Trump supporters feared they would be singled out for their beliefs, while girls who had heard the president brag about sexually assaulting women worried that boys would be emboldened to do the same to them. “We treated it almost like a crisis,” said Yuri Nava, a counselor who has since helped expand a student club devoted to improving the school’s culture and climate. Riverside, which is 60 percent Hispanic, also offers three courses — African American, Chicano and ethnic studies — meant to help students better understand one another, Nava said. And instead of punishing students when they use race or politics to bully, counselors first try to bring them together with their victims to talk through what happened. Often, they leave as friends.

In Gambrills, Md., Arundel High School has taken a similar approach. Even before a student was caught scribbling the n-word in his notebook in early 2017, Gina Davenport, the principal, worried about the effect of the election’s rhetoric. At the school, where about half of the 2,200 students are minorities, she heard their concerns every day. But the racist slur, discovered the same month as Trump’s inauguration, led to a concrete response. A “Global Community Citizenship” class, now mandatory for all freshmen in the district, pushes students to explore their differences. A recent lesson delved into Trump’s use of Twitter. “The focus wasn’t Donald Trump, the focus was listening: How do we convey our ideas in order for someone to listen?” Davenport said. “We teach that we can disagree with each other without walking away being enemies — which we don’t see play out in the press, or in today’s political debates.”

Since the class debuted in fall 2017, disciplinary referrals for disruption and disrespect have decreased by 25 percent each school year, Davenport said. Membership in the school’s speech and debate team has doubled. The course has eased Davenport’s anxiety heading into the next election. She doesn’t expect an uptick in racist bullying. “Civil conversation,” she said. “The kids know what that means now.” Many schools haven’t made such progress, and on those campuses, students are bracing for more abuse. Maritza’s sister, Cielo, told her to stand up for herself if classmates use Trump’s words to harass her, but Maritza is quieter than her sibling. The freshman doesn’t like confrontation. She knows, though, that eventually someone will say something — about the wall, maybe, or about how kids who look like her don’t belong in this country — and when that day comes, the girl hopes that she’ll be strong.

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