#posted this with crabs summoned

[themarydragon]

I got tagged by the fantastic @jenseits-der-sterne which is lovely, thank you. Nobody ever tags me, and I love these damn things. <3  <3  <3

Most hits: Calm Waters Run Deep, or CWRD, with 146,084 hits (as of today) which is just…? I don’t even know, guys. It’s one of the shortest multi-chapter works I’ve ever posted, so for it to be pushing 150k views across only 11 chapters (and its, you know, six years old) is just nuts to me. I keep hearing that people are finding it rec’d on reddit? Which, also, blows my poor mind. I love that it is so loved. Writing that probably saved my life.

Second most kudos: The Quiet River Rages, tQRR, which is part 3 of Trouble the Water (CWRD, part 1, has the most kudos). I feel like Trouble the Water is just what I’m going to be known for, as a fic writer, and I am totally down for that.

Third most comments: CWRD again, with my #3 spot for comment threads! tQRR has more comments, which makes sense (since a lot of people wait and comment at the end) but my #1 here is Keep to the Stars, which makes my heart glad. I’ve got over 200 comments on Chapter 11 of CWRD, and my favorites are where someone wanted to say SOMETHING ELSE but got short-circuited by the cruel way I ended the chapter. This is also why I have a “tears of my readers” mug.

Fourth most bookmarks: Remember the Spring, the middle installment of TtW and one of my only one-shots. TQRR (#3) and CWRD (#1) also show up here, with KttS as #2. I’m actually stupendously proud of Remember the Spring, and I’m going to be revisiting this style for the totk fics I’m writing I plan to write this winter. I have them outlined and they’re written in my HEAD doesn’t that count?

Fifth most words: Okay so I’m verbose. The #5 spot is Loved and Lost with 90k. I have 1.3 million words on AO3, I’m a wordy bitch. I almost went through and edited the hell out of Loved and Lost so it would be closer in length to Lost and Found (the other half of that fic) but @kathsilver helped talk me out of it. Thanks again for that, kath. <3  My top 4 all have 100K+ (Steel Your Heart at 105k, Higgins’ Song [my beloved][my favorite child][do me a favor and go read about Higgins] at 152k, and Will to Live [god I miss Twitch imma go read that this weekend] at 186k). But my monster is Keep to the Stars, at over a quarter-mil (290k). And honestly it should have been longer, Steel Your Heart should have just ran right along with it but I started writing before the DLC dropped so it is what it is.

Least words is in Promise Kept, which is my one shot of vignettes of a DA:I Inquisitor Cadash and her unrequited relationship with Varric Tethras. I love them and I regret nothing.

Almost all my mutuals are fic writers so if you can see this, I’m interested in your stats. Consider yourself tagged. <3  

[terezis]

there's a lot of cut content in bg3 that i long for but for the last twenty-four hours nothing has captured my attention and my imagination like the ring of crabsight. what. it's a ring that gives you +2 to perception and the wiki says that it seems to be from an unfinished quest involving, obvoiously, hermit crabs

i'm obsessed. what were they planning. hwhat does it mean. look at this item description. "Mud cakes the tiny letters of an inscription - 'A Cursed Sight Doth Dwell Beneath.'"

what is the cursed sight. is it crabs. i need to know more

[daily-crabbys]

i love them so much

[mars-ipan]

bored as fuckkk in the red lobster

[pointlessjey]

CAN YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

[yesistolethisurl]

i need to be more publicly annoying/insane about my oc's before da comes and eats me, sorry in advance

[katalyna-rose]

My first ever crabs, courtesy of @dahliadear!! Thank you, dear! I appreciate the std and will cherish it always.

[somebodylovesyougcv]

to the person who sent me crabs how does it feel to contribute positively to suicide prevention

[638287492818472]

I HAVE CRABS!!!!!!!!!!! Anonymous friend: thank you from the bottom of my heart 🫶

[mewbimin7]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

today i summoned 527 crabs! i caught 26 💰 of them. i became friends with one 🌼 of them.

group picture!!!

🦀🌼🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

[classicsmosh]

Oh! I didn't see this earlier! 🦀 🦀 🦀

[denniswilsonzine]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

*clack clack clack* It’s crab time *clack clack clack*

today i summoned 33 crabs! i caught 33 💰 of them. i became friends with 2 🌼 of them. one fell in love with me 💙

group picture!!!

🦀💙 🦀🌼 🦀🌼 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰

i summoned some new orange friends 🦀

eta: ^ tumblr wrote the above - re-clicking the summon crabs share button gives a new message "What’s that coming over the dash? Is it a monster? No. It’s just a crab 🦀 just me and my crab army *clack clack clack* 🦀 "

Oh god there's multiple message variants and gifs " today i summoned a crab! it is a good day "

WARNING: EXPLODING BOX OF CRABS - *pos needs a flickery/flashing images warning*

[amugoffandoms]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

*clack clack clack* It’s crab time *clack clack clack*

today i summoned 23 crabs! look at them!

🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀

just me and my crab army *clack clack clack* 🦀

[prismatic-starstuff]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

just me and my crab army *clack clack clack* 🦀

today i summoned 150 crabs! caught 76 💰 of them.

group picture!!!

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

[with-gay-intent]

🦀 time for crab 🦀

due to unforeseen circumstances, this post will be brought to you solely by crabs

today i summoned 420 crabs! caught 247 💰 of them. i became friends with 2 🌼 of them.

group picture!!!

🦀🌼🦀🌼🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

[jess-total-mess]

I went digging through youtube, old posts, and shitty websites, along with my memories, and here you go! Hopefully these are accurate.

2013 — Unoffical Tumblr event “Mishapocalypse” happened, an online flash mob event wherein which Tumblrinas change their profile pictures to a specific picture of Misha Collins of Supernatural fame.

2014 — Users were given the option to get Tumblr Pro for free, and those who accepted were given top hats on their icons. Prompty after this, @staff announced that “Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.”

2015 — The “Executive Suite 2016 Productivity Edition” essentially changed Tumblr into office software, allowing spreadsheets for memes, calculators that gave incorrect answers, and Coppy. Who gave “helpful tips”.

2016 — Tumblr voted to select the “new lizard king”, from Rick, Debrah, Mop and Wretched Tooth. However, more famously, an edited @staff post reads “for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits”.

2017 — The Tumblr Horse Game was a feature that, when clicked, took users to a game wherein you had to collect shit from a pixelated horse. If you failed to do so, the horse died.

2018 — The answer to Bitcoin, is Tumblcoin! A parody of crytocurency.

2019 — Tumblr Memories, in which Tumbeasts were set loose. Remember them? The mascot from 2011, for service interruption announcements.

2020 — There was seemingly no prank this year. This was COVID-19.

2021 — Tumblr released “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. There was a supposedly limited amount of them.

2022 — A light switch, when activated, would open up a variety of colourful things on the desktop dashboard, including a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when activated. Other buttons made different sounds.

2023 — A feature similar to the Discord reaction function was temporarily added, using basic emojis.

2024 — Every user was given the option to opt-in to the boop o meter, and could boop, super boop, and evil boop other users who also opted in, earning up to three badges by doing so.