#posted it there a few weeks ago but just haven't been logged in here for a bit

[revelingrexan]

my "drawing Lucifer with Charlie's expressions" pictures unexpectedly popped off on Twitter too, so i got inspired to start drawing smth i've wanted to for a while:

a redraw of this cool and silly performer who often reminds me of Lucifer! :)

https://www.tiktok.com/@broken_juggler/video/7393019284047351071

(Lucifer is sleep deprived and not doing well)

[dangerousartisanwerewolf]

To all the Americans on tumblr rn...

I am not American, nor am I old enough to vote yet as I missed being the legal voting age for my province by only about a week- curse my extremely late birthday.

(which weirdly enough has also had such an incredibly tight election that they are still counting the votes right now even though it happened 2 weeks ago because the two parties are basically tied. }

but I am also very worried for you guys way down south. Hopefully America will put the right person into power this time and everything ends up being ok for you all. Not to be too cliché but I am sending thoughts and prayers and I hope you guys all stay safe down there. I honestly can't even imagine how you guys fell- I don't even live there and I've been feeling increasingly nauseous as the hours go by and I have had to offline for the most of the day.

Remember:

To take care of yourselves. Just in general, in whatever way you see fit

You absolutely do not have to live stream the election polling/results thing on TV, doom scroll election content the whole day long, watch the news, or consume any other election related content. As horrible as it feels to say this; the results will be the same regardless of whether or not you are watching it. Sometimes it is just better for you and your mental health to just log off of sm/screens for the night

If it all does feel like its getting too much for you, please log off/take a sm/screentime break

Most importantly, if you haven't already, please vote!!!! I am not American and am barley old enough to be considered a legal voter (Missed my own countries election *tears*) so I can't really help in terms of providing resources but I am sure there are all sorts that can help you I'm sure. I know that its getting late at night; some polls have closed already but not as many as you would think. I found out that most are actually open way later than I thought. As it turns out, some are even open til 1! You learn something new every day I guess!

Just Please, Please, Please go out and cast your ballot and make your voice known, with how close this is quite literally every voice matters!!! GO VOTE!!!

Poll closing times in case you need it (I only included ones that close 8pm and upwards because it is 7:30 at the time of writing this)

8 p.m. ET

Alabama

Connecticut

Delaware

District of Columbia

Florida (Polls in Eastern time zone close at 7 p.m. ET; part of Panhandle are in Central time zone)

Illinois

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Mississippi

Missouri

New Hampshire (Polling hours vary by municipality and are listed by location here)

New Jersey

Oklahoma

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

Tennessee

8:30 p.m. ET

Arkansas

9 p.m. ET

Arizona

Colorado

Iowa

Kansas (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties in the west)

Louisiana

Michigan (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties)

Minnesota

Nebraska

New Mexico

New York

North Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in all but eight counties)

South Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in the east)

Texas (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET for most of the state except three counties in the west)

Wisconsin

Wyoming

10 p.m. ET

Montana

Nevada (The polling location at City Hall in West Wendover closes at 9 p.m. ET)

Utah

11 p.m. ET

California

Idaho (Polling locations in the south close at 10 p.m. ET)

Oregon (Polling locations in Malheur County close at 10 p.m. ET)

Washington

12 a.m. ET

Hawaii

1 a.m. ET

Alaska (Polling locations close at 12 a.m. with the exception of Adak)

I'm not really sure what other useful info I could put as I don't know much about America or it's electoral system but I hope that helps.

A lot of people I have seen have been posting about how they feel sick to their stomach's and that they can't get off the news and how they just feel terrible so...

Things you can do to distract yourself for the rest of the night (And possibly the next few days, idk how long it takes to count votes)

Have an early bedtime/take a late nap (Only go to bed after 9 at least though, otherwise you'll mess up your sleep schedule and make you feel worse.) Just sleep your way througb it if you cant help it.

To add on to point one I often use asmr if I can't fall asleep right away/to distract myself. My favorites are: Jaden Aliana Asmr, Oceans Asmr, Kaitlynn Reha asmr, and my absolute favorite Goodnight Moon ASMR (Check out her babble brook, 1920's, or valley girl series')

Listen to a podcast (I like Rotten Mango- informative true crime, Buzzfeed unsolved- funny true crime/ghost hunting, Look behind you- also true crime, and Chris Chan; a comprehensive history)

Never too late for some cleaning! Clean your house, bathroom, bedroom, closet, do a deep clean.

If your a student like me- do your schoolwork! I know you have some studying or homework that needs to be done! Get on it!! I use the pomodoro method if that does anything

Have a self care night- do an everything shower or fancy bath, make facemasks, mani pedi's ect.

Watch a movie or marathon t.v shows you love/that are comfort shows (Some of my comfort shows are; Bobs burgers, Gravity falls, the moomins 1990, the office, what we do in the shadows, black books, derry girls, moone boy, and all creatures great and small and M.A.S.H. Some of my comfort movies are; Little women, the cornetto trilogy, Emma, Legally blonde, Pride and Prejudice)

Never too late for some cooking! One of my favorite hobbies is cooking and baking (Mostly baking) Make some chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies, muffins, cupcakes or try a fun cake.

Go for a night walk! Just make sure you bring a buddy and some flashlights of you're in total darkness like I am right now. (Love me a Canadian fall! Already snow where I am so of course that means everyone now needs to immediately put up Christmas decorations lol. At least the lights are nice at night)

Spend time with loved ones. Call or text a friend, spend time with your family, roommates, whoever. If your on campus at a uni see if there's literally any activities or clubs open at this hour you can go to

Read. I know you have a tbr you keep meaning to get to

Go on a research rabbit hole about something interesting. Try to learn something new. Some topics to get you started relating to where I live cause why not; Try to learn about : The Animals of Canada, Indigenous cultures and peoples of Canada- ex: try to learn some Cree or Halqemeylem phrases, try to memorize all of our provinces and territories.

Get through any chores you still have to do

Make/do something creative: Play an instrument, record a song, make a collage, paint, draw

Play some music, listen to your favorite songs on loop (Spotify's still collecting data for wrapped!)

Download a videogame on your phone- just one to pass the time even if its total addictive trash. Some ones I like: Moomin town- Idle, relaxing, town building, slowpaced, free, Miriam webster quizitative- free, wordgames, has an end to it, Toca boca hair salon- not free, hair salon game, endless, Toca boca town- not free but there are dupes, dollhouse game, bird bnb- townbuilding, slowpaced, as well theres all sorts of cute isle cat games; I like the grocery store and cafe ones

Make sure to:

Drink water

Eat at regular intervals

take breaks from screens (It'll hurt ya eyes)

get some sleep at some point

Don't sleep all day (Try to get up at a normal time)

if you feel like you need- put screen time limits on your phone. Or as well, turn down the brightness if you feel you have to doom scroll.

That's all for now. Hope you guys are doing ok and that the results are what we are all hoping for. Just know that you are in pretty much everyone's minds and we are all thinking of you (Even if we don't live in America). Stay safe and take care of yourself and your mental health.

Love, thoughts, prayers, and support from Canada/Tumblr and have a good night.

Congrats if you managed to get through this absolute brick of text. I commend you. I'll probably check back in tomorrow.

[partially-controlled-chaos]

When We Were Young

Pairing: Halsin x f!Tav (Tavriel) Rating: G (General) Warnings: None, really. Little bit of smoochin' at the end. Just completely self-indulgent fluff for my own sanity. Summary: Deep in the autumn forest, Halsin and Tavriel share a sweet, if not awkward, moment to themselves. Pre-tattoo, pre-scar, love-lorn 90 year old druid initiate Halsin being completely inexperienced with anything romantic. Word Count: 3.7K A/N: A hurricane knocked out my power for a few days last weekend, so without access to my other WIPs or electronics, I hand wrote a complete self-indulgent fic for young Halsin and my original Tav. Once I started typing it out to post, I fluffed it up a little bit so it ended up being a good bit longer than my original drabble, but shorter than what I normally write. I recently revamped the backstory for my original Tav after seeing young Halsin art from @ozumii-fucking-wizard (thank you for blessing this site with your young Halsin art, it's amazing and for absolutely rotting my brain with young Halsin). I've never been a huge fan of "companions knowing Tav before the events of the game", but I played around with this idea and I've ended up loving it for Tavriel. I have stories previously posted for her that are a complete 180 from what I'm going with now, but I'm very please with the new lore I have for her. Might make a lore sheet or mini fic at some point, but I haven't completely decided. I do have a handful of more small ideas for Halsin and Tavriel so I'll probably sprinkle them in between my normal stuff. Also, hi hello @thoughts-of-bear , it's the fic I'd mentioned like a week ago that I finally posted

Read on AO3 here!

Masterlist

The sun hung low in the sky, casting the surrounding forest in a rich orange glow. Leaves of nearby oak trees turned shades of yellow and red, gently falling from their branches with each gust of wind, swirling in the air before softly landing on the ground. Acorns and pinecones littered the forest floor as autumn approached, sprinkled amongst small patches of mushrooms that grew in shaded spots. Bare feet darted against the ground in rapid succession, barely making a sound before lifting and leaping to the next patch of hard dirt or sun-kissed grass. Tavriel moved quickly through the trees, weaving through towering oaks and over fallen logs with an ethereal grace and swiftness as she sprinted away from the darkened thicket she called home and towards an open field.

She left the area practically untouched as she traversed the land of her home, simply stirring freshly fallen leaves with the wisps of air that that flowed from the ends of her linen robes. With each step she took, she could hear the heavy footsteps of those following her grow fainter, leaving the forest in a gradual silence. As a final obstacle, Tavriel crossed a small stream, gracefully leaping from one wet river stone to another, lifting her robes above her ankles to keep them dry. Cold water soaked her toes as she crossed, sending a chill through her legs until she made contact with land once more. 

Tavriel began to slow, her full blown sprint having tapered off to a slow trot before finally coming to a stop in the middle of a field of golden wheat grass. Her lungs burned from the exertion, chest heaving as she took in sucking breaths of the warm, late afternoon air. An earthy scent filled the area, picked up by the wind as it wove its way through the tall grass and to her nose. A pleasant smile graced her lips, tugging the corners of her mouth towards the sky as her eyelids softly closed and her head tilted back to face the sky. Warm wisps of wind blew through the long, fiery orange tresses that adorned her head, drying the light layer of sweat that had formed against her face from her run. Time had slowed as she took in the serenity of the moment, simply basking in the warmth the sun offered. 

The earth hummed beneath her feet, strong and loud enough to feel in her bones. The soft points of the grass licked at the ends of her fingers as her arms came down beside her, the gentle wind blowing causing the blades to tickle her fingertips. Songs of birds that thrived in the evenings began to sound off in the distance, signaling the end of another day. If she focused hard enough, Tavriel could swear she could hear the hushed voice of the forest calling to her, beckoning her back into the safety the trees and bushes offered. 

A large branch cracked in the distance and her eyes snapped open at the sound, breath hitching in her throat as she focused her hearing. Tavriel felt the muscles of her legs tighten and coil, ready to snap and spring her forward in a quick escape if needed. She silently cursed herself for becoming distracted; a dangerous game to play for someone who was undoubtedly being hunted. Instinct made her want to flee in an instant; to simply dart away and never be seen again. Tavriel wanted hide somewhere deep within the forest, curling in on herself and tucking her limbs close by and hide amongst the brush and foliage until the brightness of her hair was darkened from shadow and her scent was covered by moisture covered foliage. However, pure curiosity made her stay, waiting to see just what was coming from the forest.

Moments later, Halsin stepped from the tree line, taking a brief pause by the streams edge to regain his breath, hunching over slightly to rest his hands atop his knees. He was young and fit, having just celebrated his ninetieth birthday, but after such an extended amount of time swatting away tree limbs and stumbling over bushes, even he needed a break. His bright green eyes were locked on to Tavriel from across the river, who returned his gaze with a twinkle in her eyes and a smirk across her lips. He returned her smile, a cocky look on his face as he used the back of his hand to wipe beads of sweat from his upper lip.

It had been years, decades even, since they had played this game with each other. Running from one another to see who could be caught first before reversing roles, playing for hours at a time until they were both collapsed on the ground next to one another, too exhausted to move. They’d first started playing together as young children, having met by chance on a warm summers day. Being the secluded elf that she was, Tavriel was skittish and wary of strangers, even now, and each time he’d come across her in the woods, she’d dart off before he could make friends. It had taken a great deal of patience on Halsin’s part, and a few fresh honeyed buns he’d snatched white his mother’s back was turned, to finally persuade her to stay for a spell. Once they’d gotten comfortable with each other, Halsin and Tavriel had quickly become the best of friends. They would spend each day together, filling their days with laughter and fun from sunrise to sunset, always eager to see each other again the next morning. 

As they grew older, their usual playtime gradually decreased and instead they spent their spare time simply in each others company as friends and learning the ways of the natural world together. Halsin’s druidic studies often took him away from Tavriel’s realm of wood, which was the thickest and deepest portion of the local forest, and instead placing him with elder druids with a book in his hands. While he enjoyed learning from the other druids and discovering their wonders of nature, he preferred to experience them firsthand with his friend at his side.

Tavriel spent her days roaming the forests she called home, ensuring her safety and solitude all while strengthening her own skills. She was graced with a magical prowess that she had yet to fully understand. She had never been formally taught magic, but learned what she knew mostly from aged tomes that had supposedly been left behind from her unknown mother and pure curiosity. She knew how to heal small wounds and speak with animals like many magic casters, but could also control aspects of nature. With a snap of her fingers she could summon a flame or with a wave of her hand she could call forth a gust of wind. The flow of water could change to her will and, depending on her mood and the season, small flowers would bloom in the wake of her foot prints. She didn’t fully understand the magic she had been born with, but each time she discovered something new was exhilarating. Her talents were not without its dangers. Many of her powers stemmed from her emotions, which opened the door for wither and decay if she was frightened or angry. 

Tavriel was incredibly skilled with a bow, having learned the craft from her father before his passing, and used much of her spare time to fine tune her abilities. Overall she was a pacifist, so she spent most of her target practice on high hanging fruits and billowing leaves, but would occasionally hunt when she required sustenance other than what she could forage. Although she loved her solitude, she admittedly was fond of spending her time with Halsin and frequently missed him when he didn’t come striding into her realm of the woods each morning.

“It’s barely been a week since you’ve been in these woods and you’re already tired?” Tavriel teased from across the river, “The bear must be preparing for hibernation.”

“And the fox should know better than to taunt a bear on the hunt.” Halsin shouted back, straightening has back as he spoke.

Without another word, Halsin lunged forward, quickly crossing the river before sprinting as fast as he could towards the elf. Tavriel took off once again, her feet carrying her just as quickly as before, but not quite fast enough to outrun the young man on her heels. Tavriel held the advantage when deep in a thicket, her stature and almost other worldly sense of nature gave her an advantage over the aspiring young druid. She could tuck herself into the smallest of spaces and weave her way through dense foliage like a gentle breeze, letting her slip away and remain undetected if the needed was ever present. 

Halsin, on the other hand, was certainly at a disadvantage. He was a broad young man, much taller and broader than any of the other elves in his clan, making it much more difficult for him to maneuver his way through a forest when compared to Tavriel. He frequently became snagged on low hanging branches or thorny vines, forcing him to take the time to remove himself from natures sudden embrace before continuing. However, he held the advantage when it came to open land. His long legs allowing him to close long distances easily with little exertion. 

It didn’t take long for him to catch up, closing the distance between them in mere moments, and if he were to reach out, he could almost touch the flowing ends of her hair. Sensing the larger man on her heels, she gathered her strength and pushed on, creating a very small gap between herself and Halsin, although it wouldn’t be enough to insure her freedom. Tavriel made a split second decision to change her path and cut to the side, hoping the tactic would allow her to slip right past druid and back into the tree line not too far away. Unfortunately for Tavriel, it was a trick she’d used many times before to evade Halsin’s grasp and it was one he was anticipating. With her change in direction, she inadvertently stepped closer to the druid, allowing him to simply reach out and grab her.

Halsin’s hands suddenly gripped her sides, squeezing firmly enough to lift her partially into the air mid stride without dropping her, but not enough to bruise her delicate skin. A quick yelp of surprise slipped from Tavriel’s lips before erupting in a flurry of giggles. In an attempt to slow down, Halsin spun slightly, bringing Tavriel with him, but lost his footing in the process. He tumbled backwards, his back hitting the ground as a grunt left his chest. He still held the elf in his hands, who’s back had landed on his chest and she was suddenly staring up at an orange sky.

They paused momentarily where they lay, catching their breath and getting familiar with their sudden change of view. Tavriel saw this as an opportunity to escape by prying Halsin’s grasp from her waist and rolling her body off him and onto the dirt below. She found her footing beneath her as her hands dug into the dirt, ready to launch herself forward. Before she was able to start another mad sprint towards the tree line, she felt a set of large hands grab at her waist once more, pulling her back to the ground. With a triumphant smile and quick movements, Halsin pinned Tavriel into the dirt by her hips after pushing her onto her back. He rested the weight of his large frame atop her much smaller one, effectively trapping her for good.

“That’s cheating.” Tavriel managed to say between fits of laughter, smacking Halsin’s bicep with a playful hit.

“Had you not stopped,” Halsin panted as he came down to rest on his forearms, caging the young woman beneath him, “you might have slipped away, dearest fox.”

“Can you blame me?” She asked breathlessly, “It’s only natural to stop and take in something so beautiful.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Halsin said softly, bringing his fingers over to tuck a wayward piece of orange hair behind her ear. He brushed her freckled cheek with the back of his fingers, marveling at just how soft her skin was, considering she lived in nature and forewent any sense of shelter from a structure not built from a canopy of leaves. 

Tavriel had been one of his closest friends for years, eventually becoming a confidant and someone he felt safe with, but nothing had ever progressed from the companionship. Their relationship had never been anything more than platonic, but Halsin’s feelings had begun to shift as of late. He found himself stealing more glances than normal, a new and exciting flutter rippling across his chest each time he could look more than a few seconds and he could properly take in her features. Tavriel’s copper colored hair was as bright as the autumn sun and was often braided to keep her face clear of her locks while the rest cascaded down her back, resting neatly between her shoulder blades. Her eyes were as deep and green as the forest she called home, flecked with bits of gold that almost glowed if the sun caught her at the right angle. Her sun-kissed skin was littered with freckles from head to toe, the darkest ones sitting atop her shoulders and across the bridge of her nose.

Her scent had become intoxicating lately, making the would-be druid’s head spin if he stood too close. She smelled of the forest, as earthy and hardy as the deepest part of the woodlands where she dwelled. But there was also a hint of something he couldn’t quite describe, yet equally enchanting. She smelled of an otherworldly celestial magic, something ancient and almost forgotten that clung to her skin like moss on a damp rock. He’d never met another mortal soul capable of that kind of magic; the only other instance that came to mind was the power the land spirit Thaniel possessed. Growing up, Halsin had been told stories of a race of deep wood elves that lived in the thickest parts of the land, preferring a life of seclusion and isolation all while worshipping the goddess of the forest, Mielikki, instead of Silvanus. He had also heard how the last remaining deep forest elves had died off long ago, leaving the forest silent and forgotten, yet Halsin couldn’t help but wonder if Tavriel was one of the last remaining of that clan. She lived alone in a hidden spot deep in the brush, the location itself was a mystery even to him, and she’d had no family or clan to call her own for decades now.

His thumb slowly traced along her bottom lip, which was supple and rose tinted, as his forefinger slipped under her chin, slowly tilting her head to the side. Despite his age, Halsin had never kissed, aside from the kiss to the cheek he would get from his mother each morning, and the urge to feel Tavriel’s lips against his own was becoming overwhelming. His stomach twisted into knots as he considered leaning forward to close the gap between them, unsure of how his dearest friend would react. Despite their bond, Tavriel was prone to secrecy and mystery. Halsin often had times deciphering her feelings if she didn’t outright say what was on her mind, which made her difficult to read. He could feel her heart beating in her chest, the vibrations echoing against his own frame. His own heart fluttered as her tongue poked out lightly and wet her tinted lips, her eyes half-lidded in an unspoken expectation of what was to come.

Being the impatient and overeager young man that he was, Halsin dipped his head down, hoping to take Tavriel’s lips with his own in one sweeping, fairytale romantic gesture. It was something he’d played over and over in his mind for days now. Then when and where were something he couldn’t pin, but the how was certainly within his realm of control. He could see it in his mind’s eye, his lips pressing against her in a brief, yet meaningful kiss. Nothing too forward or abrupt, just the beginning notes of a young love. She then, of course, would kiss him back after he pulled away from her, pulling him down to her by the collar of his druid initiate outfit and wrap her arms around his neck. In turn, he would tangle his fingers in her soft hair, smiling against her lips as they lay together in their golden field of wheat, sharing quick, loving kisses until nightfall.

Instead, in his excitement, he rushed forward too quickly, bashing his front teeth against Tavriel’s before their lips could properly connect, filling the space with an audible clack. Halsin felt his chest seize with fear as Tavriel made an audible gasp and could taste a sudden rush of something warm, wet, and metallic against his lips. Her upper lip had gotten caught between their teeth, the delicate skin tearing and bleeding at the sudden force. She could taste the blood on her tongue, instinctively running the appendage over the wound, which was rather small.

Without hesitation, Halsin lifted himself from atop her frame, sitting back on his knees before gently taking the elf by the shoulders and helping her sit up. Before she could speak, Halsin’s hands were on her cheeks, tilting her head towards the remaining light of the fading sun as his thumbs came to her lips, pulling the skin taught so he could inspect the wound. The cut itself was difficult to see, given the smeared blood and saliva that now lingered on her skin. 

“Please, Tavriel,” Halsin said frantically, “f-forgive me I didn’t— I-I was over eager.” Halsin’s mind raced as he tried to remember the incantation for a healing spell, suddenly regretting skipping a few of his medicinal lessons. 

Tavriel brought her fingertips to her bleeding lip, wiping away the blood that had already stopped dripping. Her lip was a little tender, but nothing a short test couldn't fix. She couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the moment. Greater things were happening in the world, yet all that seemed to matter was landing a perfect first kiss. She wiped the remaining blood from her mouth with her sleeve, fully prepared to brush lips with him again. 

“Halsin,” she said softly, “it’s all right.” Halsin simply shook his head, refusing to believe his friend wasn’t angry with him, especially when he was furious with himself. Of all the times to blunder and show his inexperience, of course it had to be this moment. Although, he wasn’t the only one who was inexperienced. Given her life of solitude and a significant lack of other to socialize with, Tavriel had never experienced any sort of intimacy. When she first found herself conflicted with flutters of the stomach and heat in her cheeks, she first assumed she was ill or coming down with a sickness. It wasn’t until she connected these feelings to being in Halsin’s presence did she realize that it was no illness she was afflicted with, but the beginning stages of a young love.

Despite Tavriel’s protests, the young druid was practically beside himself with shame, still babbling away with apologizes and promises of making things right. With a slight roll of her eyes and a light chuckle, Tavriel took Halsin’s cheeks in her hands, pulling his gaze towards her long enough to keep him still. She pressed her lips to his gently, silencing his stammering and uncertainty with one fluid movement. Her eyes closed as she lingered, her body practically melting into Halsin’s chest, waiting for his embrace. She drug her hands down from the sides of his face and nestled them against the center of his chest, fingers latching into the leather bands of his outfit. 

Relief washed over Halsin as Tavriel’s soft, if not slightly swollen, lips caressed his own. He was convinced that she would run off at his blunder; just disappear into the forest and refuse to see him, perhaps forever. Of course, it was his own youthful embarrassment causing these thoughts, especially when considering that he wasn’t fully sure that Tavriel felt the same way. One of his hands caressed her cheek while the other found purchase along the braids resting behind her head, pulling her close to him as he deepened the kiss. 

When they finally pulled their lips from each other, they met the others gaze with a soft smile and a flush to their cheeks. Halsin bumped the tip of his nose against Tavriel’s, who returned the favor. She let out a light and airy giggle as she felt him nuzzle into her cheek moments later, pressing another light kiss to the light blush that had formed there. Their foreheads touched in a warm embrace, simply staying like that together until the sun was well below the horizon and the stars had begun to shine.  

Once they parted, Halsin leaned forward to take her lips with his again, only to find that she had pulled away. He tilted his head to the side just slightly, his brows having knitted together as she came to her feet once again. His hands lingered on her body for as long as possible, savoring the warmth she brought until she had completely stepped away from his grasp. Initially, he thought he had perhaps done something wrong; been too forward of lingered too long.

“If you want another, dear bear,” she said softly, “you’ll have to go on the hunt again.” Her usual playful smirk returned to her lightly bruised lips. Halsin’s eyes flashed a light shimmer of gold as he watched her take off once again, bouncing into the forest at a pace that was anything but a hurry. Tavriel turned to face Halsin once her hand ran across the rough bark of an oak, her heart fluttering as she disappeared into the moon lit depths of the forest, Halsin having already made it more than halfway to her. 

[muse-matrix]

So... It's been a while since I last logged in here. Longer still since I properly did... much of anything here, outside of a few scattered posts. Part of me had been kinda dreading coming back here but looking at when my activity really dramatically dropped off, I think I understand what happened.

So, way back in february of last year, I was bouncing between a lot of things. I was running around doing a bunch of stuff to try and secure a new job, and I did manage that- A big component of my not being here was just me adjusting to having to work again, after being unemployed for almost an entire year. It was tough to get the right structure going, but I managed it. And despite starting college just a couple weeks ago, I've mostly managed that too so far, I think.

But that isn't... the main reason why. Probably. I think.

You see, what else happened in february, was that I got booted from a community I'd been a part of for years. It encompassed my involvement in a card game I loved, as well as the FF14 free company I'd been part of at the time. Someone who was, at one time, a good friend of mine misinterpreted something, and was so incensed by it, they took some things I said out of context and absolutely slandered me to the mod team of that community. (Yes, it actually is as bad as it sounds. I checked.) As a result, I was privately labeled some pretty nasty things, and shunted from their discord server without so much as a word. None of them would speak to me, none of them would even give me a chance to tell my side of things.

Obviously, that stung. A lot.

It had me pretty dejected about a lot of stuff, for a really long time. Probably why I mostly got off of here- I retreated to a different blog where there was less pressure (self-imposed) and more freedom for me to just, kinda, do whatever I wanted without fear or worry. I needed space and freedom to move myself around how I wanted for a while. And then that led to me feeling bad about not coming back here, which made me put off coming back here even longer... You see where this goes.

But at this point, it's been a year and a half. I'm pretty much over that fiasco, I haven't spoken to any of those people since, and they've evidently been content to leave it alone too, given I haven't had any mobs of angry pitchfork-wielding card game players coming after me.

And recently, Kako came back! She's RPing again and that's fun to see. I know a lot of you I've still been in contact with regardless, her included, so most of you probably are already aware of a lot of this stuff, but writing all this out is part of my process, so bear with it. The important thing is, after a lot of time and thinking about things, and seeing friends return to RPing and watching things happen from afar... God, do I want to get back into it with you all.

I very likely still won't be super active, but I'm going to at least try to be consistent. This is supposed to be my main, after all. I'll probably take the next week or so to clean up the muse list, cut a bunch of stuff, get a bit more focused and the like. Not that I'll actually stop playing any given muse- I'm wont to flip-flop between characters I enjoy, and I'm loathe to let fun interactions pass me by just because a character 'isn't on my muse list', but I ought to give myself a bit of structure, at least.

So... I'll try to be here every day, at least. Even if it's just to check in. This'll be a fresh start for me, I'd say, not that any of my old lore or whatever is getting abandoned. It's just... It's been a long time. It'll take some easing back into things for me, so I'm not even going to worry about whatever asks have been left to rot in my inbox, stuff like that.

Given it's been such a long time, some of you may... have blogs that I'm not currently following, cause I've missed them or what have you. So uh, if that's the case, please shoot me a message so I can correct that.

[bbyquokka]

hi, it's been a while huh. how r u all? i hope u've all been taking care of urselves !! i didn't intend to take this long of a break but life has been.. well.. life 😶‍🌫️ (rambles below.)

i've been wanting to come back a few weeks ago but every time i logged back onto the app, my brain n insecurities would eat me up so i'd log back out n tell myself tmrw will be different. ig i've lost the confidence in my writing n have become insecure about my abilities. have this nasty habit of comparing myself to others n thinking that there's no need for me to come back/post bc there's always gonna be someone better than me, aha (insecurities r fun, yknow) bUT enough of the oversharing bc i feel weird n awkward, i have been writing in my spare time n i have finally finished my jisung bday piece which i will post soontm (once i've polished it up) n i've got some other stuff that's completed which i will also post !!

anywhoo–lets talk !! how r u all? how was ur halloween? did u dress up? if so, what?! o: i did a last min halloween make-up n i did choso bc.. well.. i don't think i need to explain why, hihi 🥵🥵 if u don't celebrate halloween, what did u do anyways?! what have yall be doing? hows life for yall?

how's kpop btw? i haven't been keeping track of anything lately (aside from the riize situation) ik skz announced a cb n im excited but im not? idk, i find comebacks veeeery stressful n very overwhelming 😅 hope yall got tickets btw !! 🙂‍↕️ ( cries in eu n poor ) hanji casually revealing that he has another tat on his side which, omg he has another tat BUT also, sad bc NO MORE CROP TOPS 😭💔

oH. let's talk about ARCANE??!!! ✨ cinema ✨ i haven't cried that hard over a show in a veeeeerry long time. sad it's over n they won't be making another season, but im excited to see what other regions of ruintera they'll explore 👀👀

more league stuff, aha; BUT WORLDS FINAL?! ofc t1 won 🤭 i watched it with my bf n just,,, woooow!! gutted i couldn't go see it live bc they held the ceremony in london but it is what it is 🙂‍↕️ the open ceremony was *chefs kiss* ashnikko was my fav. linkin' park.... eeeh. idk. for a worlds song, personally, i don't like it.. (sry)

but yeee, aside from that, life has been a little iffy lately but i'm back (kinda. im nervous af to come back so uuh, be gentle with me. tack! 🥺) to write n post as much as i can (uni started. bye bye free time) but i hope ur all well n i've missed being here n interacting with u ❤️‍🩹

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

nine weeks down, six to go! 60% of the way there! i worked ummm 23.5 hours unless i fucked up my quick math because i haven't actually put any of my sessions into my time tracking app since monday... a slower week partly because three weekend students rescheduled for sometime this week due to long weekend lans, and partly because, well, you know, other stuff occupying my mind. and, with that in mind, given the Things that were Going On, i personally think we all did great just to make it here, don't you?

one of my kids is testing tomorrow and may or may not be stopping tutoring after that; another two are testing this week and definitely continuing (one of them i am VERY stressed about score-wise and the other i think will eventually be fine by her december test date). there's an SAT student potentially in the pipeline which would be nice in terms of getting me through the winter lull but i haven't heard an update on whether it's happening in a few days. it did recently dawn on me that of students in my fall crop who definitely will or depending on scores may be continuing into january, four of them are weekend students... don't love that but what can you do.

i didn't get to five blurbs for TSJ week, but three is better than none; i didn't quite finish flowers in the attic but i'm pretty close and going to cozy up with it after i log off. i hit four workouts and then last night slept by absolute shit with an earlier-than-usual start and got my period so today's upper body day didn't happen and i will, sigh, not finish the program by thanksgiving, but i will in fact finish it. we got some outside kitchen help and have been mostly pretty good about maintaining it. i did ALL my laundry on my day off tutoring saturday (fourth day without tutoring since september 15th!) for the first time... a while... and perhaps i will at some point even finish putting it away. i didn't really work much on my room beyond that but that alone is a pretty decent improvement. no free store this week but i went to the movies with friends a few nights ago (heretic, a very fun time) and to book club today (flowers in the attic as mentioned before, an absolutely bonkers insane novel), and zoomed with d., i have sichuan plans with a friend this week. i kind of didn't want to hang with a certain group first thing post-election but, guess what, [redacted] flaked, lol. i told myself i had through today to remain hooked up by IV to the Takes machine re: election and i have now closed all my phone tabs and cleared my history, which is a tip i recommend for a light non-extreme digital detox because it forces you to type the URL of anywhere you want to go rather than getting it autofilled, which is the kind of friction i need on this matter, lol.

this week, oh who knows. keep on keeping on, work out, text back [g] whom i have been meaning to text back for two months, keep getting the work done, ideally end the week with the room a little better than it is now and the kitchen about as good as it was... let's say two days ago. lol. my later monday student cancelled for tomorrow and i am thinking i will use the extra time to treat myself to go see the apprentice as a treat, which i realize may sound deranged but do you know the more i think about it the more i think it would actually have been more stressful to watch it before we knew how things would turn out? six more weeks, and week three is thanksgiving, which will provide at least a one-day respite, and week five will already be lighter, and week six will be easier still! the finish line is perhaps not in sight but is right around the bend!

[slugdragoon]

Hello there!

I see that you do a lot of devlogs here on Tumblr. May I know if that's helped you with getting people interested in your game? I'm a beginner game dev and I currently only post my devlogs on Twitter/X. I only put long discussion-form logs in here once in a while.

Do you think it's worth putting my shorter devlogs in here as well?

Good question, one I ask myself while I'm doing it, and I think most people would give the advice that devlogs are more for other developers than potential players.

They, for most people do not serve as effective marketing, but it depends on what you're after. I personally have put out 16 video devlogs as well as 3 longer form pixel art tutorial videos since I've started 5 months ago, and I always post them here, on Twitter, and my Ko-fi page. The result is that I have almost 100 subscribers on YouTube, a dozen or so regulars that like my posts on Tumblr, and on Twitter excepting a few small interactions it mostly seems like people looking to trade promotions for their own games. So a very small following after 5 months.

The reason I do it now is that the best time to plant a seed was yesterday, the second best time is today. Better to have 100 followers excited when they see my prototype morphing into a real game down the line than try to show it off for the first time. The second reason is, even at small numbers I personally find it motivating. I feel accountable to even a small number of people that leave nice comments, and I want to make something new week to week to show them. In terms of sheer numbers no, you have to be a bit crazy to do this.

I'm also in a unique situation where I've been unemployed since the end of a contract, looking for a programming job but the market is shot, and I have a wonderful parter that encourages me to just be a stay-at-home parent for a while and take my one shot at building a game until I get another employment opportunity.

It's a balance though, I used to try to hit a devlog each week, but that was unsustainable. Recording and editing a video 1 out of every 7 days cuts seriously into dev time, so now I try to hit every 2, sometimes 3 weeks to try to make enough substantial changes to talk about. I started also by making a lot of posts about other RPGs while I was journalling my thoughts on class and party designs, and I thought I would go deeper into that, but those have dropped off.

Also, I haven't posted in longer than usual, but I'm a dev making a game directly inspired by Shin Megami Tensei - so you know Metaphor Refantazio has me locked in hard. I don't play as many games since starting my own, but this one is "research".

[bitchkay]

I think yuri on ice is the only anime I've watched in full multiple times in both sub and dub

Like other animes I like I have in fact watched and rewatched various times but I don't think I e watch an anime IN FULL in dub except yuri on ice

And like yuri on ice is 12 episodes so it's not hard to be able to watch in rewatch but other animes that I have watched dubbed was always like partial

Like when I watched Attack on titan junior high I watched that majority in dub but the site I watched it on didn't have all the episodes in dub so it I'd be watching it like until like episode 6 or something and then like episode 8 and 9 would have subtitles but 10 would switch back to dub

I dont think I've ever watched Attack on titan junior high fully in sub either cus I remember rewatching it specifically so I can watch it in sub but some episodes were still dub😭😭😭

I think the first time I watched Haikyuu I watched season one in sub and season 2 in dub but I think I had it on as background noise so I wasn't reading the subs anyway

Not sure in I've fully watched saiki k in dub or not like I've definitely watched it sub and probably a majority in dub but I don't remember if I watched it fully in dub like all of it

I've watched Attack on titan an uncountable amount of times start to finish in sub mostly and probably a majority in dub, anytime I rewatch it its always subbed idk why but I whenever I think to rewatch it it's always subbed unless the intention is to watch dubbed, I think I've watch season 1-2 fully in dub, most of season 3 I've seen dubbed but similarly to junior high except I pick and choose which episodes I wanna watched in dub, I've also watch like half of season 4 part 1 in dub but yeah I don't think I've ever fully watched Attack on titan in dub

With death note idk depends on the day😭😭 I haven't watch either dub or sub fully but sometimes I just be wanting to watch it different💀

I've watched a couple episodes of naruto in dub

Idk about my hero I don't even remember what episode I left off at I stopped watching a long time ago well not that I stopped watching it's just I was getting caught up at one point cus a new season came out so right then I... stopped getting caught up... and just didn't watch the new season... its been 3 years... I think I've seen season 1 and 2 in dub but... you know clearly not the rest😶

I think I was trying to finish season 4 so I can watch season 5... or like i was starting season 5 of something... like September thru October 2021 I was attempting to get caught up...that checks out right? season 5 came out in 2021 right

Why am I thinking so hard about this😭

I believe I've watched a few episodes here and there from Jujitsu Kaisien season 1 I've watched in dub but not season 2, crazy i never actually finished jjk season 2 no but cus I would watch it w my friends weekly on the tv monitor at school like every week we would hook up some one laptop to the tv and watch the new episode but when the semester finished we obviously weren't in school and I... well I honestly forgot.. but it wasn't the same yall we were bonding we were having fun we were spending time together like yes I did actually forget but at this point I'll watch it when I decide to rewatch the series

Oh! I've definitely watched ouran in botb dub and sub fully me and my friends used to binge it on sleepovers

This was literally a post about me watching anime dubbed and subbed but it honestly just looks like a list of all the anime I've watched😭😭

Making this post is making me think I should try to log into my crunchyroll account again--

[gearstation]

Hello just wanna to check in and see how your doing?

I know you probably haven't been on for years and have left social media completely

But I still felt the need to check in and say I loved your ghost castle game and would've loved to see more on the universe the characters were placed in

I hope your doing well in life anyways

Hi anon! This is really kind of you, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed our little game and our little guys. 🥰 My cowriter and I don't use public social media as much these days, but we're still out there dicking around...

Actually a friend notified me earlier this week that a streamer with a large following played Ghost Castle just this week and put a big spike of attention on it, so I logged on to check messages here just in case. (My cowriter deleted our game Twitter like three weeks ago to reuse the email, thinking we wouldnt need the account anymore... then this happened... LMFAO!) I don't think the streamer would have found the game on Itch.io in the first place if folks like you hadn't liked the game enough to put it at the top of the pokemon category in the first place, so thank you. Tbh it still doesn't feel real. fdhjkdfdf

We started writing the game in 2014 (but it took seven years to make bc it was a side project), which is truly wild to think about-- that was ten years ago now! I think some of the writing is a bit dated because of that 🤪 but I still love the game and am charmed by it, in my heart. It makes me happy to think other people can see its stupid, silly, fun little charm too. Thank you!

I think I have a bit more art lying around that hasn't been posted here, so I'll try to post those in the next few days.

Thanks, and take care!

[arandomperson5647]

Misty Island Rescue rewrite draft.....thingy

(I copy+pasted this from my original wiki post btw. Idk if that actually matters, but whatever)

Technically it's more of a summary/outline cuz I haven't even written it. Idk IF I'll actually write it, but this is just an idea of what might happen. This is actually my first time trying to write for Thomas, and my first ever time trying to write a multi-part fic so things may or may not be consistent. I've considered posting this outline here for a while just to see what others think but I never gathered the courage to do it (it might be cringey, idk) until now. (Also, the "how" Thomas got on Misty Island is probably really dumb and stupid cuz I can't think of any other reason. I wouldn't mind any suggestions)

I started this in June or smth and I haven't touched it since the end of that month. Now it's August so idk what the deal is with this

What I'm posting here is not all I have, but I don't want to post all of it yet, in case I actually do write it and don't want to spoil it or smth.

It is summer on Sodor. There have been many strong storms and stuff, which have caused many emergencies. The emergencies varied throughout the season. The Sodor people decided that they need a rescue station for all the rescue vehicles. They want it to be built in a strong material. Hiro tells Sir Topham Hatt (STH) and the mayor about Jobi wood, and that it is the strongest wood in the world. He also says it's only found in Japan. Although expensive, it would be worth it cuz a rescue center is important.

A month later, the preparations for the rescue center are close to an end. The blueprints are basically done and a location has been decided. Everyone is excited for it. Soon, the Jobi wood comes in. An engine takes the wood to the lumber mill. A few days later, during the early night, a dry thunderstorm occurs. Thomas was making his way to the shed when he sees smoke in the distance, so he decides to check it out. He comes to the lumber mill (which is closed, meaning no one's there) to find that a tree was knocked down and landed on the Jobi logs. The tree was on fire from lightning and it spread to the logs. Thomas had to make a decision. He decided that he'd go to the nearest signal box to call for help and then use the water in his boiler to temporarily control the fire. He knew he couldn't put out the fire, so he tried to not let it spread. Unfortunately it had already spread to a few flatbeds of Jobi logs. Despite feeling weak from lack of water, Thomas keeps going. When the fire service finally arrives, Thomas was shunted away near a water tower. He comes back to see that the fire was put out.

The next evening, STH announces what happened to the lumber mill and Jobi wood. A lot of the Jobi wood was destroyed so the building of the Search and Rescue Center will be delayed for a while. STH says that the mainland was asking for him to loan an engine for a couple of weeks, but he hasn't decided who yet. As a reward, he sends Thomas. Thomas is very excited.

A few days later in the afternoon, Thomas and his friends are waiting at Knapford Harbor for him to be loaded on the ship. Thomas did a couple jobs in the morning before going to the harbor. He's about half-fill on water and forgot to refill before going but decides to refill at the mainland. The bridge is under repairs at the moment, which is why he's going by boat. The reason why he's not at Brendam is cuz no ships for engines were coming any time soon or smth. Salty is also there because he had to take some trucks to the harbor. While they wait, Salty tells the tale of Misty Island:

Misty Island is an island. Although it's not too far away, it is hard to find due to it always being covered in mist. Nobody today remembers seeing Misty Island. No engine nor human. Many years ago, near when it was first discovered, a railway was being built. No one knows why, but it was later abandoned. They say a few engines remained there, engines that were different than Sodor engines. They keep each other company, hoping someone finds them. Some say that before their steam went out, they puffed 3 clouds of smoke as their last hope for be rescued. No one knows if the engines are still there in one piece, or if they've decayed throughout the years.

At some point during the story, Edward mentions that he thinks he's seen, or at least heard of Misty Island. Because he isn't 100% sure, he doesn't explain much. After the story, Thomas realizes that the engines must've used smoke signals. Upon questioning, he explains that his driver once told him about it. 3 puffs mean "danger" or smth. He says that he'd also use 3 puffs if he was in danger. Percy says that they'd come to help him.

Soon, the ship is ready to load Thomas on. Everyone says bye and Thomas leaves. Unfortunately, a storm happens during the journey at night. It blows the ship off course. Thomas' chains come loose and he falls off the ship or smth. They were relatively close to Misty Island so Thomas kinda floats to it (while also sinking cuz he's an engine). He ends up on shallow enough water so he doesn't sink anymore. Out of fright or smth, Thomas passes out. The waves kinda push him onto shore even more than before he passed out.

Thomas briefly wakes up to see himself beached on land. It's the middle of the night and he doesn't know what to do. He's exhausted and can't stay awake so he falls asleep again. With no crew to wake him up, he stays sleeping for a while.

The next afternoon, STH gets a phone call. He was told that Thomas wasn't on the boat when it arrived to the mainland. Thomas' crew did arrive, they were the first to notice their engine was gone. STH is very surprised by the news. STH decides to tell the engines the news that night cuz he doesn't want to interrupt their jobs and knows how they'll probably react. He figures the engines will spread the news so he doesn't gather everyone.

That night, all the engines are in the shed talking about their day. STH comes in his car, surprising them because he doesn't usually come at night unless there's smth important. STH tells them the news, shocking them. They ask questions like "when" or "how" is happened. STH doesn't know but answers the best he can. After STH leaves, they talk about the situation. They wonder where Thomas could be, especially since he disappeared in the middle of the ocean.

[pitchipeach]

Note

Hello, hello!

...and, perhaps... goodbye?

If you know of Bondee, then you know that despite the many changes in the app in the recent months... that its popularity has continued to dwindle.

Still, I tried to hold on as much as I could... checking in from time to time.

However, I unexpectedly lost access to the email address that I've been using to log onto Bondee a few months ago.

Of course, there are other ways to log onto the app��� via phone number. This worked fine for quite a while, I'd say. So I was still able to log on.

Still, I felt like this way of logging in was not as secure as having an email address back up so I contacted Bondee a total of four times about changing my email address with the reason being I am unable to access the old email address that I'd initially used to log onto the app.

Sadly, my inquiries remained unanswered. The first two were actually answered by their AI chat and I was able to reply to the in-app chat about my inquiry. I even included screenshots about said issue. However, as I understand, it was around that time that many features were being added onto Bondee and I figured I would just wait for the company to eventually address my concerns once they had the time for it.

A month later, I tried again using the same in-app query but I no longer got a reply. Again, this was still okay because I was still logged onto the app.

Naturally, for the heck of it, I tried again. I emailed them!

Unfortunately, I didn't get any replies either.

Still, life went on since I was still able to log in via phone numner!

So, yay!

...Then comes this week.

Tried logging in again this week but the whole logging in process has changed too! It actually looks good because now you can log in via Google, etc.— just like other apps.

However, there is that one problem I have wherein I no longer have access to said original email address.

So in the end, I took it as a sign to give up and finally bid this social media app goodbye.

I actually managed to hold on for almost two years, so. I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time.

Also, I still have a lot of scheduled Bondee posts for this tumblr account so those would still continue even after today.

In addition, as I am still in the process of migrating from Twitter, all the posts on Twitter re: Bondee that I haven't transferred onto this site will still eventually be transferred at one point or another after today.

Hence, I guess that means this tumblr account isn't completly dead.

Still, I figured I should still write a note about it because obviously, all posts from here on out would be old posts that are simply being transferred from Twitter soooo

I guess this account isss semi dead alright.

Wow. Just in time for Halloween, right?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

master posts👇🏼

Floating in Bondee

Floating in Bondee Pinterest Board

[pommepom]

the hate boner that some people have for quackity is honestly ridiculous. i don't have twitter so i'm only referring to tumblr but one user in particular is almost obsessed with him at this point. like we get it you think he's evil incarnate move on with your life already.

it's shocking to me the way both cquackity and qquackity have basically been blacklisted from the qsmp tag. where are the quackity fanarts, headcanons, silly posts, or deep meta? and it's no excuse to blame it on q rarely logging onto the server when people have no problem making posts about other ccs who don't log on either.

during the last few days of tubbo's tubbathon quackity gifted 20 subs and tubbo and his chat were losing their minds they were so happy. during the qsmp beach event a couple weeks ago phil, chayanne, and lullah found the duck statue on the beach and phil joked that 'quackity didn't miss the event he's here' and phil took photos. yet i did not see any mention of any of this. with the way qsmpblr is treating pepito leaving, it would seem as though qquackity had no reaction to his child leaving. but i watched quackity's stream and it was heartbreaking.

it just makes me so mad to see quackity treated like he's the worst person alive.

awww nonnie :[ <333

people do definitely have a very unhealthy obsession with q, and not even in like the ''i love him sm if he gets a gf i will kys'' type of way. as someone who has been (kinda) following q for some time, it is really sad to see how people have been treating him these last few months.

i guess they do have their reasons, i might not fully get it but if someone just doesn't feel comfortable supporting him anymore then hey i support that, do what makes you happy but when it reaches the point that you're full on trying to count how much hypothetical he could earn from streaming bbh hours daily and you're basically victimblaming him for the doxxing by saying ''he's just overreacting and trying to send hate to ex-admins!'' yeah it's reached a point where it just Is Not Healthy, that's full on parasocial in my eyes.

it really sucks bc he never really gets into controversy, you know? he's always been the type of guy to try to handle things privately. it's sad that this had to be made public :[ this whole situation is just really sad, q and the admins deserved so so much better.

something really really important to remember anon: some people are NEVER going to change their minds; they've chosen a side of hate and no matter what q chose to do they still would've attacked him for his every action. they don't see him as human and bc of that it doesn't matter if he makes 1 mistake or a million, he's always going to be this evil villain in their eyes. there is no point in arguing with them or checking their blog for their opinions anymore, you should block them and focus on the people who'll actually treat him with respect, they aren't deserving of your time <3

i haven't been checking qsmpblr but if what you said is true then yeah, it's really gross to treat q like he's forver or wil. intentionally trying to erase him from his own server is very 😬😬

although i've always been a firm believer in ''make the content you want to see'' scream about cubito q!! write, draw, clip, just create :D! there will always someone out there who'll be willing to listen nonnie <3 and hey, even if there isn't. you should still do for yourself, let qsmpblr know just how insane you are about him!!

take care of yourself nonnie <3

[parm4carm]

Love you, Jade ❤️ And though I know it's not the most important thing right now, speaking out and often is more important, I do hope you are okay ❤️

hiii oh my god has it forreal been weeks since you sent me this?? i swear i just saved this to my drafts three days ago .. the passage of time truly fries my brain

first, this is so sweet of you to send to me and i'm so grateful that people still check in on me when i'm quiet online <3 i know i am a veryyyyy unreliable presence here but i really do appreciate all the love and i'm sending it right back to you <3

you've kind of given me the perfect jumping off point to just throw a lot of updates and ramblings in one spot bc truthfully i do not feel right posting normal posts and taking up space with things that are trivial in the grand scheme of things. i genuinely don't have the brain capacity for much else these days besides keeping up with palestine/congo/sudan etc related updates + the occasional few hours where i can watch a movie or a show without feeling guilty

(general life update dump below so beware bc i talk a lot)

brief mental state check in but i am not doing well! not just with the weight of the world but with everything else in my life lmao. pretty much everyone who knows me knows that the holidays/the winter are the roughest months for me so i'm usually radio silent :/ this year has been... so rough and i don't know why every year feels worse than the last but it really truly does! i'm particularly lonelier this year and it's honestly my fault. idk how to reach out to people when i'm so isolated tbh i feel like a burden at all times especially now that most of the people i used to talk to daily online and irl are doing way better than me and i'm just. always stuck here in this really shitty space i can't seem to get out of no matter how hard i try

i don't talk about my problems a lot online but like. after losing my childhood pet and then getting accepted to two different programs in one year (grad school and community college) and having to drop out of both AND dealing with a decline in my mother's health AND my grandmother's cancer scare AND my own financial issues AND unemployment i'm just exhausted. because of all of this i truly don't know how to function like a normal person or make friends or keep friends anymore i'm just miserable tbh

okay i know this is a hard pivot, but i thought i could just compile things that have brought me a little bit of happiness that i haven't talked about here! it's all on me to feel like this, but i have intense guilt about posting anything not related to current events, so this is my way around that! so.. enjoy i guess <3

personal stuff (you can send me asks to explain more if you want)

i beat my new years' resolution of watching 365 things this year – i'm up to 500 logs!

a lot of new tv (28 total, entire shows, rewatches, new seasons, miniseries, and documentaries included)

fixated on kpop this year and listened to 30 groups whole discography! i actually counted and it was exactly 30 lmao ask me ab my fav groups and biases if you dare

started drinking tea every day :)

redecorating my apartment and it's so much cozier now

i've become more of a snoopy/peanuts fanatic :)

to build on the new years resolution, i've added quite a few horror franchises under my belt :) my horror tag on letterboxd is roughly 250 now!

i think i'm finally breaking my lifelong nail biting habit??? fingers crossed!

buying more things secondhand and feeling way better about it! mostly clothes and dvds but me and my partner are huge fans of knick knacks

have tried a lot of new food this year :) and am cooking new recipes a lot more too!

went to the beach for vacation for the first time in ten years <3 went to this cool little record store and got a band recommendation from the owner that's now one of my underground favs!

celebrated ten years with my partner this year and although it's been such a rough year for the both of us and we're not nearly where we ever thought we'd be, we're more solid now than we've ever been!!! i really would not have made it through this year without them

honestly this year has been a blur 90% of the time so there's obviously been more little things that make me happy but! it's been a big year for consuming media bc i don't have much energy for creating anymore unfortunately

[tottwritesfanfic]

alright i want to apologise in advance a bit, because I recently tripped and fell into another BNHA fixation, and it's sorta getting in the way of my other stuff.

So. If I look as if I've jumped fandoms for the next however long...I really haven't. I just added to the pile, and I'm returning to my old VR AU because holy ensemble cast, it sure does scratch that itch.

...is it bad that ensemble casts are basically a prerequisite for any fandom I might get invested in enough to write for?

Anyway, not the point. The point is that I'm channelling my current obsession into NaNo this year (as co-ML for Kent's region I try to give it my all when I participate!), so I'm afraid everything else is probably not going to get much love for the next few weeks or so.

Probably. I know what I'm like, and I usually find it hard to stick to one project at a time, especially if I don't want to burn out. TBH, that's the other reason I'm doing this - so far, the only part of this AU i've posted is a standalone prequel fic which no one really cared about anyway because it had no ships. So if I burn out and this goes nowhere, at least I haven't left anyone hanging, right?

Also, if you want to take a peek at any of the decidedly excessive worldbuilding notes I've been putting together for the last couple of weeks, just hit me up. So far there's like...10k of it, including my musings on how the hell to turn quirks into VR hacks which make sense on a digital platform. Some of these are more straightforward than others, let me tell you.

I am also decidedly in love with how OFA/AFO works in this setting, but that's for me to know and you to find out if I ever get as far as posting this damn thing.

also also dropping this here because I can and it gives you a bit of an idea of the setting: In the AU, basically the surface of the planet got screwed over a couple of hundred years ago, and everyone lives underground, logging into a VR world where they can roleplay as pre-disaster humans for the sake of their sanity for their waking hours. Quirks are basically government-sanctioned hacks which people apply to their VR accounts, because ultimately it was easier to legitimise and legislate them than try and get people to stop doing that. A chief problem in the story is dealing with the fallout of an entire world of people who no longer remember how to touch grass. (It's a lot more serious than this, but basically my planning seriousness is inversely proportionate to the tone of the fic itself, and I just. I cannot talk about my work in any other way.)

Here's a snippet from my planning document to give you an example:

Aizawa is just a regular-ass dude who got his hero licence in spite of his Exploit rather than because of it. He’s also IRL ripped because his eye problems aren’t exactly conducive to 16 hours of screentime a day. This is why no fucker has heard of him, because all his heroics happen in short, irate bursts before he logs out to dose up on fucking eye drops.

His chief strength in this AU is not a borderline gamebreaking exploit, it’s the fact that he can, like, actually function in the real world a hell of a lot better than most folks.

Which meeeeeeaans, that he becomes 1A's teacher in the real world, after they all realise they need to buff up for this shit because they’re (mostly) totally clueless on how to function outside of the Interface. In this fic, UA is basically 1A's super secret offline school where they learn proper fitness and agility, and the physical, mechanical skills they’re gonna need in order to pull off the heist of the century. Hahaha, Aizawa is gonna be That Guy who is super strict about everyone’s screen time lmao.

[kenobster]

honestly I wouldn’t put too much stock in follower counts and activity pages. obviously we have no idea how many followers users have but I’d wager it’s around 50 for most people, and depending on how long you’ve been on here, a good chunk of them might be inactive or lurkers.

furthermore, this used to be the reblogging things site, which has since been plagued with likes only. it’s like that for a lot of posts, big blog or otherwise. but the problem with that is, if no one reblogs things, there’s less opportunity for more notes in the first place.

the moral of this story is, do whatever you want and don’t worry about adding your voice on anything! the numbers do not matter at all

Thanks so much anon, that's very kind of you to say!!! I love every single one of my followers, even the inactive ones and even the scandalously dressed ladybots that I haven't reported & blocked yet. XD Like, I seem to be miscommunicating lately, and it feels like maybe I'm coming across as upset/stressed out/angry without meaning to? So I'm gonna take this chance to needlessly describe my activities for the last 24 to 48 hours to prove a point lmfao.

Yesterday morning, I was reintroducing my grumpy timid cat to a super friendly cat I will be cat-sitting for the next month or so, which was super fun and one of my special interests. After that, I was chillin with my fandom homies while we played Jackbox and heard each other's voices for the first time ever (voices that were audibly referencing Vader's Uterus lmfao so I was pretty ecstatic). After that, I played around with my INCREDIBLE Vader bop-it toy that I bought yesterday based on a friend's recommendation. My first Hasbro merch ever. :) I'm in love and I still can't believe it's a real thing that exists.

At that point, I checked Tumblr and... yeah, admittedly I panicked a little because I was a bit scared I'd soon get a bunch of angry asks screaming at me for being a meanyhead (to beat a horse dead, this is just a regular run-of-the-mill anxiety of having a fandom blog and it is absolutely nobody's fault). So I spent an hour or so chatting with a friend until I felt better and then I quickly made the post in question regarding my follower count so that, despite the bewildering attention Five Peggats Each has gotten, everyone would know the truth about my lack of influence lmao. (This is a compliment. From me to me. I like my lack of influence. I'm not fucking kidding lol. I actually have panic attacks sometimes about the idea of becoming internet famous. I literally don't want that lmao. Fifty to a hundred followers is an A+ amount imo, so it's about time I guess it's about time I start losing those pornbots lmfaoo.) Anyway, last night was probably the first time I've checked my follower count in the entire history of this blog tbh. So like, you're being super sweet, anon, and I'm hoping other people will see this too because it's absolutely true and I think your words would be very encouraging and reassuring to anyone who sees this!! But I promise you that my activity log statistics and teh amount of followers I have are not things I spend time thinking about.

Once that was all taken care of, I wrote/edited a little bit for my fic for QuinObi week (SO EXCITED! Literally just a few more days!). Then at around 4am, I woke up with middle-of-the-night epiphanies on how to phrase a couple things/finish/tidy up my thoughts for that Fox opinions post, and I lay in bed working on that for an hour or so. After that, I went back to sleep, woke up, chatted with the fandom homies again, and then, ever since, I've been playing a video game I've been dying to play all week. Until about an hour ago, I literally had no idea what may or may not have been going down on Tumblr, and I wasn't thinking about it at all. And now that I've enjoyed myself on Tumblr for the day, I'm probably gonna invite my mom up tonight so she can spend time with the cats while I use her as a captive audience to talk about Vader's Uterus lmfao. And then at about 10pm, I'm gonna head bed because I work for a living and I forgot to ask if I get the holiday off.

All of this to say I am fine!! I'm just chilling, living my life, doing my own thing. For me, Tumblr is like a fun thing to check out every once in a while, the same way I spent time playing my video game, enjoying my Vader bop-it toy, hoarsing around with the cats, or anything else that strikes my fancy. Kidney stones and abusive ex-bosses are the things I worry about, not like.... a pixelated number on a screen lmao. In other words, this is a hobby to me, not a livelihood, and if I wasn't enjoying my time here, I literally would not log on (and sometimes I don't log on! For days and days at a time. Because I'm enjoying other things more!)

But anyway, I will say that the thing that makes it the most fun for me here? People like you!! Who send me asks. Who share their thoughts on my posts. Who became friends that give me the confidence to make the posts that I wanna make. Who have other fun lil interactions with me. So (1) Please don't worry about me. I'm fully medicated, my back is sore, and I'm too old to be upset over fandom things lmao. And (2) I really cannot thank you and everyone who makes my fandom experience so enjoyable!!! :D Y'all are great and I'm thrilled to be able to have fun here. I'm living my best life.

[ahungeringknife]

I genuinely love the story Spencer and Sunni are in. It's a real neat like... industrial revolution just kicked off and there's steam punk shit but also Magic is still a thing and so those two worlds are colliding RAPIDLY.

Also Spencer rides a GIANT fucking dog who's main purpose in life is fucking up witches

January 12

Sunni peered around the corner of the hallway where Spencer was talking with his dad. He was still dressed in his hunting outfit and Sunni thought he looked extra handsome like that with the thigh high boots and belt with extra loops to attach himself to Cedar while in transit, holding his hat under an arm. They were having a serious conversation but at this range Sunni could only hear their voices but not what they were saying.

"What'cha doing-?"

Sunni shrieked in surprise at the voice in his ear and almost threw a punch. Mia just laughed at him, hands on their hips, almost too wide smile spread across their human face. "Mia, don't sneak up on me," he scolded them. Fairy glamor didn't always work best on other Wild Things and Sunni could still see their nearly transparent dragonfly-like wings behind them buzzing in amusement. "None of your business," he said.

Mia leaned around the corner too. "You're so predictable Moai," they scoffed. "Of course it's about your favorite little human," they needled him and pinched his cheek hard, giving him a hard time, using their long wiry frame to curl around him.

He batted them off him. "You're such a gnat."

"Everything okay over here?" and Sunni started but Mia wasn't even surprised when the father and son came around the corner. "We heard a shout," Gerard said, dark skinned face creased in a frown.

"It was nothing. Mia just snuck up on me," Sunni punched them in the side. Mia hardly bothered to notice.

"Don't cause a scene Rïvûrthenæ," Gerard said and Sunni still didn't know how he said that word with his mouth so well. Sunni couldn't do it. "Parliament is still in session and I don't want it disrupted because you're making the prince scream."

"Well maybe he should be a bit braver," Mia said and leaned their arm on Sunni's shoulder.

"I'm sending a correspondence to the Monarch next week on state of affairs. Don't give me an excuse," Gerard said.

"Uhhhg, you humans are so boring," they complained.

"You're the one who came to Parliament," Spencer said, rolling his eyes. "Isn't the Wild Council meeting right now?"

"No it's not," Mia said, eyes narrowing.

"Oh you didn't hear? Me and Cedar just came to deliver a message from the western forest about the ents. Something like they're about to go to blows with the logging company there-

Mia was gone in an instant, racing down the hallway the way Spencer and his father had come from. "That wasn't very nice either, Spenc," Gerard said to his son.

"Eh they'll forgive me," he grinned.

"There's no problems with the ents huh?" Sunni asked.

"Nope."

"There haven't been ents south of Glaigon in three hundred years," Gerard said. Sunni stared at them both and then covered his mouth to laugh. Spencer was still grinning. Gerard sighed softly, "Now I need to go to the Council and make sure Rïvûrthenæ doesn't cause a scene."

"Have fun," Spencer said and Gerard left. "I didn't expect you at Parliament," Spencer said looking at Sunni.

Sunni fiddled with his hands a moment. "I was hoping to find you here. Your letters said you were out west," he said.

"Oh. I guess the post didn't get to you before you left. I'm going to be in the capital for a while."

"Really? That's good." Then, shyly, he added, "I missed you."

"You're funny. I missed you too," Spencer said and leaned to give him a soft kiss. Had this been a few years ago Sunni would have fainted but he'd gotten used to it by now and used to humans being so okay with their public displays of affection. "It's almost winter though so the Parliament and Council won't need me and Cedar as much." He grabbed one of Sunni's hands and his hand was covered in a worked leather glove. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Y-yes. Can we talk?"

"Sure. Should I worry about Cedar?"

"I don't think so," Sunni said slowly.

"There's a bench just outside of that door," and Spencer guided him out of the Parliament building to one of the courtyards and indeed there was a bench. They sat and Spencer stretched out his legs. "These things get so fucking itchy," he groused and Sunni laughed when Spencer unzipped part of his boot to shove his entire hand into it to scratch around his calf. "Ah! Way better, so what'd you want to talk about?" he asked as he zipped the boot back up.

"Do you think this will be a permanent thing?" Sunni asked him.

"Hmm?" Spencer rose a black eyebrow at him.

"Us."

"I dunno why it wouldn't be? Unless your dad's acting up. My parents don't really care and Renny's girlfriend is interested in having kids later so it's not like I'm honor bound to keep up the family name or anything," Spencer rolled his eyes.

"He has been... speaking to me about this," Sunni admitted. "And he says stupid things I know can't work but they're still good points."

"Like what?" Spencer asked.

"He said if I was really serious I'd give you my skin full time and not just when we see each other. Even though it's no use to you!" Sunni huffed in annoyance and folded his arms. "And I wouldn't be able to go home if you had it." Spencer groaned in sympathy of having an overbearing dad. "And he says if you were serious you'd reciprocate."

Spencer blinked. "You've told him humans can't just shed a skin like a selkie right?" he asked Sunni.

"Of course!" Sunni cried. Spencer gently shushed him and he was very upset about his father. "But he says I need to stop playing around with some human when there are plenty of good suitors back home. Especially when 'that human' can't even participate in our traditions." He was so worked up he was almost about to cry in frustration.

Spencer hugged him. "Sorry your dad sucks, Sunshine," he said and Sunni sniffed but he did like that nickname. "He sounds real hung up on this traditional skin exchanging yeah?"

"Yes. And humans, like most creatures, don't have second skins. It's so frustrating trying to reason with him about this. He's such a traditionalist. Even more than uncle Koa-

"Which seems crazy because your uncle is such a hard ass for tradition." Sunni nodded and wiped his eyes on Spencer's shirt. "Is it important for you?" Spencer asked him.

"I guess?" Sunni sniffed and sat up from him. "I know you can't so I don't care. And it isn't like I can just give you mine and go back to my dad like 'look I did it now leave me alone' because you'll have my skin."

Spencer looked pensive just holding Sunni's hand. "If you give me your skin you're stuck on land until I lend it back, right?"

"Yeah," Sunni nodded.

"So you'd have to stay here?"

"I guess."

"So you'd be able to stay with me?"

Sunni stared at him. "You'd want that?"

"Better than stuck at home with Renny all winter," Spencer said and made such a disgusted face Sunni laughed. "And your uncle can just tell your dad what happened."

"But... you don't have a skin," Sunni said.

"When's not having a plan stopped me before?"

"And has almost got you or your sister killed every time?" Sunni asked.

"Yeah but this is just a skin. I'll ask Holly. I'm sure she's got something I can sub in for a selkie skin that will be okay with your dad."

Sunni wasn't so sure. Dealings with hags rarely went great but Holly had known Spencer since before he was even born. She didn't want anything malicious for him or Renny. "Okay," he said slowly.

"I'll handle it and you don't worry about your dad, okay?" Spencer said. "He thinks tradition is going to break us up he's never dealt with a Witch Bane on a mission."

Sunni blinked at him dumbly, "Mission for what?"

"To have you stay with me, duh! Dummy," and Spencer kissed him again. Sunni kissed him back. They only parted at the sound of loud barking coming from the front of Parliament. "Ceder," Spencer grumbled under his breath. "He only barks when it's important. I gotta go see what it's about."

"Okay. Be safe," Sunni said.

"When am I not?" Spencer asked, standing up and pulling on his riding hat.

"Shall I get the list?" Sunni asked him back sarcastically.

Spencer chuckled. "It's Vangild, how dangerous could it be?" he smirked and then left Sunni sitting on the bench.

Deep Water Prompt #2822

Here is what they won’t tell you. When a selkie who loves you offers you her pelt, she will expect your skin in return.