#postal panic

[skymanta414]

im postal AND im panic guys you dont get it

go check out postal panic NOW im not asking >:(

[postalpanic]

OFFICIAL DAVIS REFERENCE SHEET

TWITTER

LEIVE PIPER '24

[stregastressata]

Love the bit in Going Postal where a stuck up old lady asks Moist if the golems he employs are male or female and he goes “who cares?? There’s no difference, they just want to do their job” and she’s like “well I’ve found one cleaning the ladies bathroom! He could be doing… inappropriate stuff in there” And he asks the golem with him “uh, would a golem care if he was called Miss instead of Mr” and the golem is like “not one bit lol” and he’s like “do you think Gladys would work as a name?” And the lady is like “yeah sure, as long as she’s dressed properly” and he’s like “uh, well, okay never mind, great the matter’s been resolved” and everyone goes about their day

[box-off]

Okay what if I just drew those two, left the sketch for a week and lazily finished it?

[chetttt]

"Perfection Island is hungry, Naughty. Its heart throbs and demands cleansing. Perfection Island is also thirsty."

Digital version later down the line maybe

[demonir]

Ok I'm gonna tell y'all a horribly embarrassing dream I had last night but don't laugh at me too hard ok?

I had a dream I was at a wedding for some reason but didn't know anyone there and yet I was vibing and doing shit and then suddenly somehow I turn into the bride and I do not question this I am just standing at the altar wearing the white dress and thinking "damn I wonder who my husband or wife is gonna be :D" because I'm a goddamn fool

And then who shows up? motherfucking postal dude that's who

I legit tried to run away from the wedding I remember he was chasing me and shit and in my head I'm like "oh god oh fuck no I don't want this oh my fucking god" and then the dream ends and turns into something else (I ended up fighting aliens in a basement after that)

[lyubochka]

fucking hilarious how prev post talks about that tonal change coming from 9/11 when it was absolutely influenced by colum/bine.

[prismravine]

1. fleetwood mac - the chain

2. trophy eyes - figure eight

3. red hot chili peppers - californication

4. knuckle puck - the tower

5. brand new - jude law and a semester abroad

6. real friends - summer

7. jack’s mannequin - the mixed tape

8. paramore - ignorance

9. thrice - all that’s left

10. +44 - weatherman

11. panic! at the disco - lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

12. spanish love songs - bellyache

13. system of a down - toxicity

14. modern baseball - i think you were in my profile picture once

15. him - acoustic funeral

16. borns - 10,000 emerald pools

17. taking back sunday - new american classic

18. the all-american rejects - drive away

19. the postal service - clark gable

20. linkin park - in the end

21. the devil wears prada - salt

22. all time low - the girl’s a straight up hustler

23. the almost - drive there now!

24. atmosphere - who i’ll never be

25. the yeah yeah yeahs - spitting off the edge of the world

[caenith]

When you're having a not so great week day but a long-awaited package arrives and suddenly all is good again 🥰

Artwork & keychains by extremely talented @art-of-firefly herself - thank you so much, they're all so cute and pretty, I can't stop staring at them 💖

[curarems]

Moist 'fake it till you make it' von Lipwig

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[danielleasbureaucouk]

I am sick of eBay sellers complaining about reviews if they involve postage delays. It is their choice what method of postage they use, as they're aware of the problem, which the last seller that complained is, they should change it accordingly and dispatch promptly, not wait 48 hours after purchase.

If something takes a week to arrive nowadays, you should be told that, not given false dates.

Seriously tempted to stop using eBay because of this.

Last week was the week from hell and this message from a ln eBay seller was the last thing I needed and so whiny, petulant in the grand scheme of things. I've had no reply back to the home truths I pointed out, showing clearly that they can't answer back. I didn't give a negative rating, I gave a neutral, I didn't even mention my week from hell, which was happening at the same time, which I could have done.

I want things to go back to normal, yet I don't feel they will for a long time and still there's manipulation and selfishness that's making me angry, aside from the stress I'm feeling and I can't speak out about it, I've got to suffer in silence because I don't feel I'm allowed that freedom, everyone else is, not me. And no one is asking either, even though I feel it's easily apparent, yet obviously it isn't.

[poisonedjoinery]

Hello beautiful, just wanted to thank for writing stories and giving us reader some of your time. I don't know if you are open for requests but I give it a try. 🤍🙏 I'm in desperate need of a voightx reader fic, angsty hurt and comfort and fluff. Maybe you like my idea or get some inspiration to write something similar.

The reader is working with intelligence and Voight is instantly taken aback by her appearance. She is also attracted to Hank. But they keep their feelings for each other hidden. One night the goes out for drinks and in their tipsy state the reader and Hank make out.... The next day Voight is giving her the silent treatment and is also cold and unfriendly to her, just ignoring the fact they kissed. His unfair behavior goes on for days until she gets him to talk to her, telling her that is was was mistake and she should move on leaves her feeling more hurt and heartbreak than ever. The situation is also taking a physically toll on her, with no appetite and her deathly sick appearance the team instantly worries.

We all know Voight would think he can't give her what she needs or be good enough fir this kind and beautiful girl.

Later on there's a guy hitting on her and Voight pushes her to date the stranger (secretly dying from jealousy, but believing another man can give her all she needs). The date ends catastrophic when she realizes that the guy drugged her, secretly and in panic she calls voight in her dizzy and weakening state and manages to tell him the bar they're currently. Not able to defend herself in her drugged state the guy is able to drag her to his car in the parking lot. She's struggling and fighting for her life, he gets frustrated and beat her up..... Voight comes just in time and keeps the guy from kidnapping her. Nearly conscious and beaten Hank takes her to his house to attend her injuries and to take care of her. Some fluffy end in which he admits his feelings for her... 🤍🙏

Currently I am sucker for caretaker fics, with sick and hurt reader. The intelligence team would be soo cute taking care and at a Hank Voight who hides his feelings and worries for the girl just get me 😍

I am soooo sorry for this long request, but I have this idea in my head since forever and I just needed it to share, in desperate hope a talented writer might create a good story. Don't hesitate to tell me if this sucks.

Lot's of love 🤍

Eat the World Raw

Authors Notes: This is an anon request, of super protective yet jealous Voight. I hope I have done your request justice anon, my apologies for the serious delay on this I have a hideously busy job these days and I find it hard to find writing time.

Summary: Reader is a new starter on the Intelligence Unit, and is instantly taken with Voight. After sharing a drunken moment, Voight pushes reader away. But a panicked phone call changes everything.

Warnings: Mentions of drink spiking and assault. Angst and fluff too. If you feel there should be any other warnings, please do let me know.

Gif by: @shelby-love

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"Hey Boss, the new recruit is here." Antonio called out to Voight, as he walked you to your new desk. Dropping your bag to the side, you pulled off your coat.

"Thank you Detective, I appreciate your help." Smiling, Antonio nodded his head,

"Call me Tonio, everyone else does. Come on, we can get you some coffee, you're gonna need it." Nodding, you followed him to the break room. Tonio gave you the rundown of the most recent case the team was working on. A gang was currently running drugs through the city, and the intelligence unit was still unsure of how they were managing to go undetected.

"Wow... that sounds like a lot. You know, I worked a case once where a gang was using the postal service to distribute their drugs. The leaders brother used to work for them, and kept a master mailbox key." Antonio looked surprised,

"Huh... that... could actually be plausible."

"'TONIO!" Whipping his head round, he watched as Voight stalked in, a deep frown on his face.

"I thought you said the new starter was... here..." His voice trailed off as his gaze focused on you. You felt your breath leave you, as though you had been gut punched. You'd been told a lot about Voight, had been told what a hardass he was. Never taking no for an answer, scaring off more teammates and pissing off coworkers more than anyone else in the CPD. What you wasn't prepared for, was for how handsome he was. Yes, he was at least twenty years older than you but you couldn't help yourself, you let your eyes roam over him. From his boots, all the way to the black button down shirt with a black leather jacket over the top.

Clearing his throat, Antonio stepped forward.

"Boss this is (Y/N). I've already brought her up to speed with the case, and she's actually given a decent idea of how the drugs could be being moved around the city." Antonio frowned, looking at Voight, and then to you.

"Boss?"

"Huh... yeah?" Clearing his throat, Voight gave a tight smile and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you (Y/N), glad you're all caught up." Averting his gaze, he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh... Tonio, I need you to run down a lead. It's the one that Ruzek brought us yesterday, take the newbie." Looking back up at you, he gave a small smile and quickly turned around heading back to his office.

"Um... he seems... intense." Your voice sounded shaky. You quickly took a large gulp of coffee, wincing as it scolded your throat.

"Yeah he um... I think he's a bit stressed right now." Tonio frowned, then quickly smiled.

"Okay, let's go." Striding back out, you grabbed your coat and badge. Risking a quick glance behind you, you saw Voight in his office watching you.

--------------------------------------

The case took a nasty turn. The gang that was peddling drugs, seemed to have looped kids into their dealings. Picking the weak and neglected kids whose parents wouldn't give a shit as to their whereabouts. You kept your head down, working hard and not getting underfoot. Learning the ways and methods the team worked, but you could start to feel the pressure of this case sinking into your bones. You felt angry that innocent kids were being used, and made to believe that they were cared for. You rubbed your face, the night had settled around you causing the light from your screen to become harsh to your eyes.

"Hey (Y/N), it's late. Come on, we're all going for a drink." Glancing up, Halstead smiled from his desk as everyone else pulled on their coats, shutting down their computers. huffing out a sigh your stretched.

"Yeah sure... okay sounds good."

You all headed to Molly's, grabbing a booth in the back you sat and powered through a few beers. As the mood lightened, jokes started to fly around along with casual conversation. Soon you found yourself laughing at Ruzek and his ridiculous stories.

"There room for one more?" Glancing behind you, you found Voight staring down at you intently. Swallowing hard, you nodded and shifted your chair over.

"Sure thing Boss." Voight grabbed a chair and sat next to you.

"Thanks, and when we're not on shift, you can call me Hank." Smiling, you took a sip of your drink. Feeling more confident, mainly because of the ten or so beers flowing through you, you leant in closer to Voight.

"Thanks. So... Hank... how has your day been?" Smiling, Hank watched you for a moment, then lent in further.

"Well it has been busy... but I think we are making good progress, and the drinks are certainly helping right now." With that he took a large gulp of bourbon, causing a colour to rise in his cheeks.

The night continued, with the team drinking and laughing. The more you drank, you found yourself relaxing into your seat which incidentally lead to you leaning further into Hank. You enjoyed the warmth that came from him, the smell of his cologne, the deep laugh that vibrated out of his chest. You tried not to squirm as you felt yourself becoming flushed with excitement.

"Okay guys... I need to get to bed. I'd like it to be at least a month before I drunkenly embarrass myself. " The others laughed and jeered, trying to persuade you to stay as you pulled on your coat.

"I'm gonna head off too, (Y/N) I'll walk you out." Waving bye to everyone, you headed to the door, your mind racing at the thought of Hank being so close behind you. Rummaging in your bag you found your phone, pulling up a taxi app.

"How you getting home?" Looking up, you smiled and showed him your phone.

"I was going to get a cab."

"Ah, don't worry about that I'll give you a ride. Come on."

"Oh you don't have to..."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. It's late and I can at least know you're safe." Dropping your phone back into your bag, you pulled your jacket closer around you.

"Then lead the way Boss." Smirking at him, as he raised an eyebrow, he lead you across the street to his truck. Climbing in, you sank into a soft leather chair. The air was heavy with Hanks smell, and coffee.

"So... where do you live?" Shutting the door behind him, Hank started the truck and turned on the heater. Giving him your address, you pulled your seatbelt on. The drive was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Hank maneuvered the truck smoothly through the light city traffic, occasionally asking you questions about your previous jobs. Before you knew it, you were outside your house. Stopping the truck, he placed his arm behind your chair, quietly watching you.

"Thank you, Voight. I appreciate the lift."

"You're welcome sweethear'." You felt a heat creep over your face at the endearment. You dropped your gaze not wanting him to see.

"Well um... goodnight. I..." Before you could finish your sentence, Hank had tilted your face up, his hand remaining under your jaw.

"Just... a taste." You blinked and felt as his lips pressed against yours. Moaning quietly, you reached your hand up grazing the back of his neck. Pulling him in closer to you. You're not sure at what point it happened, but you ended up pulled into Hanks lap, slowly kissing him for what felt like hours. Humming quietly, he pressed his head against yours.

"I um... I should probably go. I need to be fresh for tomorrow... I don't want my boss to get pissed at me." Smiling, Hank let you shift out of his lap and into the passenger seat again.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bright and early boss." Climbing out you headed into your house, Hank remaining outside until you had locked your front door. Hank rubbed his face and pulled his truck out onto the main road. What the fuck had he done.

-------------------------------------------

The next morning Hank got to the office bright and early. He didn't want to be disturbed by anyone. This case was starting to piss him off, and he didn't want to fuck around chasing any more dead beat leads. He noticed as the rest of the team trickled in, all of them having a haggard look that suggested they'd all drunk a bit too much last night. He noticed how you watched him through the blinds of his office, like you was waiting for him to call you in for a chat. He probably should talk to you, but he just couldn't do it right now. He was too pissed at himself to even consider having a civilised conversation.

He made sure he kept busy for the rest of the day, he didn't want to speak to anyone unless needed. He chased down lead after lead until he managed to find one that was promising. After ten hours, and a painful conversation with a local informant, Voight managed to track the ring leader down and haul him and his gang into lockup. He left Antonio and Burgess shutting down the lab, and bagging up evidence.

"(Y/N), with me." nodding quickly, you followed Voight out into the stations car park.

"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I didn't mind Hank, I actually enjoyed..."

"No... it won't be happening again. I am too old for you, and I won't be able to give you anything that you want. So it's best to just... forget about it okay." It killed him to see the pain and hurt in your eyes.

"Hank I..."

"It was a mistake (Y/N), okay?" He didn't meant to raise his voice, but he saw the anger building in you.

"Not a problem Boss, I've already forgotten." Watching you march back into the building, he groaned inwardly, kicking himself for his tactless approach.

For the next few weeks, Voight watched as you worked alongside the team, effortlessly working leads and solving case after case. He couldn't stand how pale you had become, how when everyone else had lunch you seemed to find a reason not to eat with them.

"(Y/N), eat something will you. I don't want you passing out on shift." Whipping your head round, you glared at Voight as he stalked past you. Grinding your teeth, you forced yourself to answer.

"Sir." Grabbing your coat, you nodded to 'Tonio.

"I'm heading out for some food, want anything?" 'Tonio shook his head,

"Na I'm good, thanks (Y/N)." Nodding, you headed out.

You didn't realise how hungry you were until you were half way through a footlong sub from the local deli. Your stomach ached in protest and delight at the amount of food you were consuming. You couldn't help but think about how Voight had kissed you that night, it had felt glorious. You hadn't dated anyone for a few years, hadn't really had the time. You'd enjoyed your job too much. But when Voight had kissed you, you felt a new rush, a new thrill. Then the fucker had ditched you.

"Asshole." Throwing your rubbish in the bin, you headed back into the office. Taking the stairs two at a time, you wasn't focused on the people around you and you slammed into someone.

"Shit... I'm sorry I wasn't watching." Glancing up you found a guy in front of you smiling.

"(Y/N)! Christ I haven't seen you in years." Focusing on the face attached to the voice, you saw it was Jacob. A guy you had gone through the academy with. Huffing out a breath, you gave a wane smile.

"Hey, Jacob. How you doing?" Nodding, he grinned, stepping closer to you.

"Yeah I'm good thanks, I'm working over with homicide now."

"Sweet." You shifted your gaze, looking up to where you wanted to go. He glanced behind you, eyes going wide.

"Are you... you up in Intelligence?"

"uh-huh."

"Holy shit that is amazing, I've heard Voight is a right hardass... is that true?"

"I can be when pushed." Jacobs eyes widened as he spun round.

"Um... sorry Sir, I didn't mean anything by it." Smirking Voight clapped him on the shoulder,

"Don't sweat it. (Y/N), when you're ready we've got a lead to run down." Turning, Voight headed up the stairs to the rest of the team.

"I should head up." Moving to follow Voight, Jacob caught your arm.

"Hey do you fancy grabbing a drink tonight, after work?" Glancing up the stairs you saw Voight had slowed down, probably trying to over hear your conversation.

"Um... yeah I'll uh... I'll let you know. Big case, not sure what time I'll be finished."

"Yeah... yeah okay sounds good." Heading up the stairs, you caught Voights eye.

"Hey... you dating that guy?" Frowning, you glanced up at him.

"I... no I went through the academy with him. He just asked if I wanted to meet for a drink."

"Hmm... you should go. You're a young woman, you should get out from behind the desk." Watching him closely, you leaned in looking for any hint of a joke.

"You... okay sure, why not." Turning on your heel you marched into the office heading straight to your desk to phone Jacob. If Voight insisted you go, then you'll go. If only you'd turned round, you'd have seen the fury burning in his eyes.

-------------------------------------------

Checking your reflection, you smiled. You'd picked your best emerald green dress, it dipped low at the front and hugged at your hips just right. You felt good for the first time in a while.

"Forget Voight." Grabbing your coat and bag, you headed out the door.

You found Jacob at the bar sipping on a beer, spotting you he grinned.

"Wow... you look amazing!" Grinning, you pulled your coat off and placed it over the bar stool.

"Thank you, you scrub up well yourself." Gesturing to the bartender, you ordered a red wine.

"Cheers." Taking a big sip you smiled. You looked around the bar, seeing all the different people chatting and drinking. You felt yourself relax a bit into your seat.

"So... how's your case going?" Looking up, you were stalled for moment.

"Uh... yeah it's going okay. It's a tough case but we're getting there." You didn't overly want to chat about work, as it reminded you of Voight. Jacob seemed to get the hint as you didn't expand any further on the subject. You sat quietly for a moment, just sipping on your drink. After a while, you both seemed to just relax into a conversation, reliving the academy days minutes passing into hours.

"You feeling okay?" Jacobs voice seemed to pull you out of a blurred moment that you didn't remember going into.

"Hmm? oh... yeah I'm fine, I'm just... gonna head to the bathroom okay?" Smiling, he nodded.

"Okay, well uh... shall we head out after this? Maybe find somewhere to get food?" Standing up, you nodded holding onto your chair for dear life.

"Yeah that's fine." Grabbing your bag, you headed to the bathroom, feeling your legs wobble and your head start to swirl. Pulling in a deep breath, you focused on the toilet door, not wanting to look more drunk than you were.

Pushing open the door, you leant on the sink and stared at your reflection. Your pupils looked blown, but you couldn't tell. You couldn't focus. You tried to remember how many drinks you'd had, tried to remember anything but it was all becoming a hazy dream.

"Shit.." Stumbling into a toilet stall, you locked the door behind you and rummaged in your bag pulling out your phone. You truly hoped you'd punched in the right number.

"(Y/N)?" Hanks voice cut through the phone, relief flooded through you.

"Han..k... I need... come help... been drugged."

"Where are you!" You felt yourself slowly drifting off.

"I... I'm ... bar...South side... bird...bird... Spar..." Your voice drifted off,

"Bird... the Sparrow... you at the Sparrow!"

"Yea... bathro." Your world went black.

Voight drove like a madman, sirens blaring not caring who he cut off in the process. Hold on, please god hold on. The streets were a blur as they flashed past him in a haze of lights and noise. Pulling into the car park, Voight spotted a guy hauling a woman to his car. Stepping out, he recognised it as Jacob. Picking up his pace, he started towards him catching your voice as he got closer.

"No... get off you sick fuck."

"Stop struggling... you know you're going to love it." Hank watched as you swung at him catching him in the mouth, but it didn't stop there. Jacob slapped you, and punched you in the stomach. Hank was at his back within seconds. Grabbing him by the hair, he slammed his face into the side of the car, continuing to punch him as he slid to the ground. He wouldn't have stopped, could have killed him had it not been for your voice calling to him.

"Hank..." Looking behind him, he saw you stirring on the floor blood pouring from your mouth.

"Shit... (Y/N), I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Scooping you up, he carried you to his car putting you in the passenger seat. Peeling out of the car park, he sped away from the bar. Glancing over at you he took your hand,

"Hey, (Y/N) stay awake alright. We're nearly there." You let your head lull to the side, the warm air from the heater and the blow to the head making you sleepy.

"Where's there?" you murmured out.

"Home."

-------------------------------------------

Waking up, your head felt heavy, your vision blurred. Rubbing a hand over your face, you realised you no longer had your dress on but a soft t-shirt with the letter CPD stamped on the chest. Your body ached, and yet you felt content in the soft confines of the duvet.

"Hmm... s'good."

"(Y/N)?" Glancing to the side, you found Voight sitting in a chair next to your bed.

"Hey, um... what am I doing here?" Reaching out, Voight took your hand and held onto it gently.

"You rang me last night, you went out for a drink with the Jacob guy and ah... he um... he spiked your drink." Frowning, you tried to remember but all you could think of was the toilet stall you had sat in.

"I got there just as he was dragging into his car, but you resisted and uh.. he hit you a few times."

"I um... christ I don't remember much I'm sorry Boss. Guess that's why my head hurts hmm?"

"What! No, don't be sorry, that scumbag is the one who should be sorry not you! I'm... I'm just glad I was able to get you out before... well I'm glad I got to you." Smiling you squeezed his hand with yours,

"Thanks Boss."

"'Tonio checked into your boy, and he's not a cop, well not any more at least. He didn't make it passed being a beat cop, he assaulted two women so he got fired." You felt your stomach churn.

"Well... maybe next time I should get you guys to run a background check on whoever I plan on going for a drink with hmm?" Dropping your head back into the pillow you winced as pain flared through your eyes. Looking around the room, you saw that it was rather warm and, oddly enough, cosy.

"We won't need to do that." Voight sounded a little nervous, something you had never thought he could be. Tilting your head, you gazed at him intently,

"And why's that hmm?"

"Because I'm not a creep who preys on women, so you'll be safe."

"Wha..?" Sighing, he shifted out of his chair to sit on the edge of the bed, running his other hand over your hair. It only occured to you now that this was Hanks house, Hanks bedroom, Hanks shirt that you were wearing.

"I shouldn't have encouraged you to go on a date with that guy. What I should have done, was date you myself. But instead I... I got nervous. Nervous that you'd see I wasn't anything but an old, beat up cop too stuck in his ways to make you happy in the ways that matter." Sitting yourself up, you leaned into Voight and kissed him. You wasn't sure how long it lasted, or when he had gently pushed you back leaning into you. Running your hands up his arms, you traced your fingers over his broad back. Breaking away, you pressed your head against his,

"You know, you never even asked what makes me happy. If you'd had just asked, I think we would have saved a lot of time... and spiked drinks." Smirking at him, he shook his head.

"Yeah I know, I'm a dumbass." Laughing at him, you brushed your hand over his jaw.

"I'll let you off, on one condition." Voight raised an eyebrow, and hummed quietly.

" You um... take these jeans off and stay in bed with me for the day hmm?"

"Yes Ma'am, you don't have to ask me twice." Standing he slowly unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned the jeans. You felt a heat build in your face and stomach. This was going to be... an interesting day.

[wordy-little-witch]

On my lunch break but a Thought-

Let's say Big Mom is trying so hard to get Buggy in her web. She's offering so much to get him as a son in law. She's tried everything, girls around his age, girls younger, girls older - then one day she has an Idea. She offers a son.

Karai Bari by this point is rolling with the delivery service, and in the time it takes the Navy and Crocodile+Mihawk to swoop in, the letter is in transit. Postal services take TIME. So it's maybe a month after Cross Guild has been established, and tempers have cooled enough. Big Mom's letter gets lost in post, and Buggy notices the absence of a letter and doesn't get upset - he's arguably happy about it. He HATES them.

A few months pass. Bonds are forged. Then Buggy gets a SLEW of letters. All from Big Mom, all offering hands in marriage. Most are men, some are a few women, and the age rages span a decent chunk. Buggy is complaining loudly about it, face down to the table and groaning. Mihawk, unimpressed, arches a brow when Crocodile grabs the papers and reads one. Then he blanches.

They argue over it for a while. Crocodile is adamant that a strong ally like that could be beneficial. Mihawk is ominously silent. Buggy is very vehemently against it, blushing and spluttering. Croc, in uncharacteristic leniency, doesn't push very hard. He's fighting this odd feeling in his abdomen. Indigestion, he's sure.

Big Mom receives his declination to all, and she is Done. She's running out of kids, but not out of options. She sends back a thinly veiled threat. He WILL be hers, one way or another.

Enter Cross Guild Panic. The men are vibrating, thinking she's desperate for Buggy for his power and prestige (he refuses to tell them that they're... not that wrong.) Mihawk and Crocodile are very not happy with this.

Leave it to Mihawk then to propose an alternative. "She wants you married into her fold," he announces apropos nothing, wine in hand. "She could not argue if you are already married."

"She could-"

"Not if you are married to a powerful person or two."

"... what."

"Did I misspeak? Marry one or both of us, Clown. We are in this together. May as well reap the benefits thereof."

Anyway, marriage of convenience to friends to lovers

[sil3ntfr34k]

orr p1/p4 as platonic comforting thing…

Platonic!P1 Dude and P4 Dude Comforting Headcanons

(Also matching gifs this is so cool)

Postal 1 Dude

He’s actually the worst person to comfort you. WILL make it worse

Even if your anxious about just going to the grocery store because you don’t feel like socializing, he’s trying to convince you that something bad is going to happen and now you can never go to store at all

“I don’t feel like going…” “Whatdayamean?? Why don’t you want to go? You always wanna go somewhere, what if something is going to happen? It’s waiting for its moment to strike you, to take you from this world. No! You can’t go anymore! Just stay here, it’s safest here than being out there with those… vermin.”

Somehow, he’s spiraling before you,,, He doesn’t even know what the hell is going on, yet he’s in the corner facing the wall and hugging his knees

If it’s really bad, like your having a trauma response kind of bad, he’s making it worse. You could be hyperventilating on the floor, shaking and all, and he will be there crying over your body like your actually dying

Sometimes it feels like he makes it about himself, but it’s just that his anxiety is that bad

Postal 4 Dude

“What the hell is wrong with you🤨⁉️”

Has no idea what’s going on, ever

Has a mini heart attack when he sees you upset and immediately bombards you with questions. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you upset? Was it that asshat down the street? Because he was fucking with me yesterday too. I’ll kill him for you I swea-“

You gotta hit him with something soft to shut him up bc he will yap until you forget what the hell you were upset about

If it’s something like a trauma response or panic attack, Dude tries his best to be there but also be at a distance. He read one somewhere that it’s best to give someone who’s having an attack space and to just ‘watch’ over them. It still kills him inside to see you like that, but he knows he can’t do much to help

If he can, Dude will make Champ go sit with you. He’s seen service dogs do that before so in his head it’s a good idea. Until Champ is trying to play with you and is trying to knock you over,,,

Cue Dude dragging Champ back again by the collar, poor guy,,,

Afterwards, he will most definitely try to pry what’s wrong out of you, even if it’s something personal. It’s not that he’s trying to butt into your personal life or make you uncomfortable, he’s just concerned (and curious. What the hell could’ve made you act out like that???)

Overall, he’s okay to go to for comfort, but definitely not the one you should be going to for that. Unless you wanna get incredibly high or drunk (or both) afterwards as a compensation

[vulpixisananimal]

(You breathe a sigh of relief as you open the door to the homestead. This was your destination, Riverside homestead. It was placed directly on your family's route from Jouvente to Worlworth, the city Ramos' guardian lived in. The sun had almost disappeared, geetting here by twilight wasn't bad.)

(It was a sizable building. With two stories and stables for any horses. There were a few broken down buildings around it that suggested it used to be a much bigger complex. up a hill, you could make out a large tree, it looked like it was a Favor Tree.)

(When you entered the main door, you were greeted to a cozy and large common area, a main desk of sorts was to one side. There were stairs leading up, and a few doors, one of them you were pretty sure lead to a kitchen.)

(There was a lady sitting at one of the tables, who, upon seeing you enter, got to and went over to the desk.) "Welcome in! Got here just in time!"

"Haha, had to run to make it." (You reply, putting on your smile. The rest of your family was coming in behind you. Oh yeah, you reach up and take those singing stones out of your ear. You still don't remember who gave them to you, but Mal liked them. You did too.)

(The person at the desk smiled seeing Mirabelle enter.) "Miss!! You're back!!" (She said excitedly.)

"H-huh?!?" (Mira looked surprised for a second, before smiling.) "O-oh yes!! I told you I'd visit again once the country was saved!!"

(Oh yeah. Mirabelle and Isabeau would have stayed here on their journey, over a year ago now.)

"Well looks like ya won! This lot the rest of the great saviors of Vaugarde?"

"Not me, or Ramos here." (Nille said, patting Ramos shoulder. She looked for a place to sit down.) "We're just along for the ride."

"Don't care, c'mon in, take a seat, staying the night?"

"O-oh yes! We we're probably going to make it here tomorrow, b-but-" (Mira starts, going over to the desk.)

(Odile cuts Mirabelle off, joining her.) "-But if I spend one more night in the forest I will go postal."

(. . . Not bringing up the sadness is probably a good call. That would just cause a panic. You let Odile and Mirabelle deal with rooms and such, you wander around the common area.)

(Frozen in time. . .)

(You still couldn't get over it. You got frozen in time. Months after the kings defeat, despite there being no sign of frozen time anywhere in the country. And no sadness anywhere, either.)

(Well, except for Ramos. But Ramos was turned into a sadness. And turned back when you broke that emblem embedded with mind craft. Does that mean this sadness was also someone turned into one? Apparently there wasn't any visible star, and it smelled of sugar, not mint. What was it then?)

"That alright Sif?" (Mira called over, oops.)

"Huh? What?" (You reply, you weren't paying attention.)

"There's only a few rooms left, you and Isa ok with sharing?"

"O-oh! Oh sure!" (You smile, heh, that'll be nice, sharing a room. You hadn't gotten to do that yet. At Bambouche you all stayed at Nille and Bonnies. At Jouvente you had a solo room. So finally you'd get some time just, the two of you. Well, four? Five of you? Heh, that was something to talk about.)

(Back to wandering and thinking. The common area was nice, it was well furnished, with a lot of random trinkets around. On the walls shelves, etc. Hmm, there's a sign near the front door that's covered with some cloth. Weird. You go over to it and uncover it.)

(It's. . . Oh! Your language!)

"O-oh! Careful, that'll give you a headache." (You turn, the lady at the desk was calling over to you.)

"How'd you get this?" (You say, now with a real smile on your face.)

"Huh?" (That got her by surprise.) "Oh! Uh, that's one of the things my gramps put up when he started the place. Never got the heart to take it down."

"Hah! Must have been a funny guy." (Your smile gets wider.) "It says 'make a wish, check it thrice, stay here a while, don't mind the mice.'"

"HA! He sure was!" (They lean on the desk.) "You can read that? Those other guys said they could only translate the first couple lines."

"The-" (What.) "Who?"

(Walk over to the desk, we need to know who-)

(And hello to you too, Mal. You do walk over, though, and ask.) "Someone else was reading that?"

"Yeah!" (She tapped her temple.) "Couple who're traveling, said they'd been researching that, Island stuff. Figured out the first part of that sign, asked about gramps and-"

"Are they still here?!? Where'd they go??" (You need to know, WE need to know. Mira and Odile leaned to the side, it was your time.)

"Woah there bud, I'd be a bad host if I just told you that kinda stuff." (They put their hands up.) "I know, I know, island stuff is. . . Important. It was important to gramps too."

(. . . Right.)

(She probably had more than a handful of islanders who'd recognized that sign and had a. . . Bad reaction. You still had your silver coin, after all.) "S-sorry."

"No issue, though, how'd you read it? It gives everyone else a headache."

"Savior secrets~" (You say, sticking your tongue out.)

"He's always like this." (Odile said, sighing.) "I am so, so sorry."

"Ha! Nah It's fine. Oh yeah!"

"Name's Jan (she/they). Been managing this place for a while now, y'all are all happy to stay anytime."

"Oh! T-thank you Jan-" (Mira starts.)

"Free of charge, naturally." (Jan finishes.) "No buts! You saved the country!"

"B-but-!"

"Don't try, Mirabelle." (Odile shakes her head.) "I've tried paying for supplies before to no avail."

"Hmph, fine." (Mira pouted.) "Thank you very much, I-I just, feel a bit weird about it."

(Ha, you kinda did, too. You were still kinda broke though, you had two silver coins to your name and didn't want to get rid of either of them. So you did appreciae the freebies.)

(Just take the free food and shelter, Siffrin.)

(You know, you know. It just, still felt weird, taking things for free.)

(Jan handed over the room keys. A room with three beds for Odile, Mira, and Ramos. A room with two beds for Nille and Bonnie, and a room of two for you and Isabeau. Stay for a few days, get on the road again. It sounded nice! You and Odile headed upstairs to check the rooms out.)

(You unlock the door to your room, sizeable, little table and chair, wardrobe, window, and-)

"O-oh."

"Something wrong, Siffrin?" (Odile leans over to look in your room.) ". . . Hah!"

"S-shut uuuuupppp." (You hide your face in your cloak.)

"My my, is there something wrong with sharing a bed, Siffrin?"

"I-it just, feels," (You mumble.) "it feels kinda different i-if we're, y'know-"

"Bonded-to-be?" (Odile teases.)

(You choke on your words, your blushing, really, really hard.) "I-I-I'm I'm gonna, get, uh-"

"I understand Siffrin. I'll see you tomorrow, if you survive."

"Night. . ."

(You close the door, stars. What a day. What a weird stupid day. You put your pack down by the SINGLE bed and take a breath. You fought a sadness, you were walking all day, you found another blinding island thing. . . You try to open the window.)

(Great, the window didn't even open. It was stuck.)

(You sit down on the bed.)

(. . .)

(What, have nothing to add, Mal?)

(I do not.)

(You do, c'mon, share it.)

(I do not like this homestead. I do not like Jan. I do not like that there is a sadness, or that it froze us in time.)

(Well? What do you want ME to do about it.)

(Nothing. That's why I didn't want to bring it up.)

(What about that island phrase? Since that seems to be YOUR buisness.)

(. . . It's the equivelant of one of those, sarcastic, cheesy slogans some have in their homes here.)

(What? Like one of those "Change, Craft, Care" things?)

(If you must know, yes.)

(That makes you laugh. Even if your home is gone, some people still have those cheesy nicknacks.)

(Jan could not understand it. And did not mention their grandparent.)

(. . . Right. You'll ask about it in the morning, but you're tired. You start getting dressed into your nighties.)

(Isabeau. . . What do you do about Isabeau. You really like, no, no you LOVE him! You really, really do! Whenever you're around him you get a weird, bubbly feeling that you've never felt in your entire life.)

(But, what do you do about that?!? What would be ok?!? How, how do you talk to him about it! STARS why was this so complicated!! At least in a play relationships had a script, but trying to script out your relationship with someone in real life just, doesn't work.)

(You knew that all too well.)

(Go to Bonnie, favorite foods are rice, pineapple, and samosas WITH potato NO cheese. Go help them get stronger, trip, hug. See Odile, get the book from the bakery, find a clearing, talk. See Mirabelle, ask about papers, talk. Go see Isabeau. . .)

(You get the idea.)

(You had the perfect day down to a formula. You scripted it, orchistrated it, crafted it. But that in itself made it less real. The first time it was a back and forth, you all played your parts, and got your rewards. But every time after? You were the director telling them where to stand. For an audience you could not see.)

(. . . You did miss it. It was nice-)

"Hey Sif- O-oh--"

(You freeze up. That was Isa's voice, and, a-and-)

"S-sorryIshouldhaveknockedsorrysorry-!"

"N-noit'sfineit'sfineI-I'mfine." (You desperatly and quickly cover yourself. You dared not look at him.) "J-j-just, just, u-uh--"

"I-I didn't see anything!! I promise!!"

"A-alrightalright, alright, t-turn around a second I'll finish up quickly."

"O-okay, I'm not looking, sorry, oh crab I'm sorry Sif-"

"I-it's ok! Just, just give me a second." (You breathe in, and out. Stars, you could NEVER live this down!! You very quickly get your nighties on. Stars, your head feels hot.) "Ok, o-ok I'm good."

(You turn around, Isabeau was banging his head softly on the wall before turning around. He had the biggest blush you'd ever seen, impressive, honestly.) "I-I'm, so sorry Sif. . ."

"Y-you're good!! You're good, my back was to you so it wasn't that bad right?" (You smile at him.)

(He looks to the side, blush growing.)

(You squint.) ". . . . Did you see anything?"

". . . . . . . . . . . . . M-maybe-"

(Oh!)

(Oh okay! Got it! This is actually a nightmare and you're still asleep in Jouvente! Wow! It makes so much sense now! Stars, how could you-)

(Shut up, Siffrin.)

(You wince, right, Mal du Pays was here. Sorry.)

(Isa bowed his head.) "I-I'm really really really sorry."

(. . . . . Ah Stars to it. You wink at him.) "Hope you liked what you saw then."

"WH-" (Isabeau froze, processing, prioessing, processing. . .)

(Stars, Siffrin. You are as bad as Loop. Eugh.)

"W-well! I'm going to bed! If you get changed I promise I wont peek."

". . . . . One bed?" (It sounded like the air was being squeezed from Isabeau.) "I-I mean I'm fine with one bed it's just I thought it was two and y'know I just thought that-"

"N-no I was, uh, taken by surprise too! It's fine!" (Taken by surprise? You were being teased by Odile. Can we just go to sleep already?)

"R-right. . ." (It souned like Isa was getting slowly killed.)

(You turn around, getting comfortable. STARS how embaressing. . .)

(Why do you like him?)

(Why? Why not! He's kind! Funny, smart AND strong! He's just, uh. . .)

(You trust him.)

(And you don't?)

(. . .)

(Isabeau finishes up getting ready for bed, you feel him climb in the other side. You turn around.) "Hey."

"H-hey. . ." (He replies, still blushing.)

"Fancy meeting you here."

"W-what a coincidence, right?"

(You laugh softly, stars, now that you're in bed the days exhaustion was catching up to you.) "Is it, fine that we're sharing? A bed?"

"Y-yeahjust-" (He looks away all blushy.) "S-since we're. . . Y'know. . ."

(. . . Stars. He's beautiful.)

(You didn't think you'd like someone like this, you never really got it, after all. But now? With Isabeau here? Next to you in a comfortable, warm bed. You get it.)

(. . . . . Your eyes feel heavy. You can't have The Conversation tonight.) ". . . We can talk about it tomorrow, ok?"

"O-oh! Alright then, I am pretty tired. . ." (You had both been walking all day, of course you're tired.)

(. . . You wish you could kiss him goodnight. Not tonight.)

(Let's just go to sleep.)

"Night, Isa."

"Night, Sif!"

(Night Mal.)

(. . . Just get to sleep. Night.)