#postal 3 (sucks)

[faysayk]

Hi.. I’m so sorry if you’re not taking requests rn rahh but is it possible if you could maybe make icons for Postal 3 dude? Please and thank you!!!

dont apologize!! i love postal <33

[okratic]

I simply have a NEED.

[venomousray]

Postal 1 dude my wife 🫶

[sillyrust]

It hurts.

[duckydemons]

can i just say how much i love fanon p3, he’s so unserious that i literally love him sm..

p3 and p4 are my blorbos ever

p1 and p2.. they need to be studied under a microscope but i still like them :3

[bigeloo]

There's nothing left to salvage in this hellhole of a town.

[absolutelybatty]

Cartoon Gore Warning!

Short Postal 1997 animatic to the spoken section from Pierce The Veil's King For A Day, featuring my first ever attempt at animating a head exploding.

[chppdliver]

hot take: Postal 3 isn't really THAAAT bad.

except akella sucks

bite the curb akella

[ievamorta]

the postal dude from postal 2 came to life after prince harry experienced mitosis making the postal dude his evil.. counterpart thing

[s1x-foot-deep]

Laughing at your silent grace, I'll spit on your broken face

[reduxable]

Its 100% canon that BD dude likes to bully p1 (mike j told me)

[hacksawboy]

im so glad postal exists because its genuinely recaptured the magic of the batshit insane things id make up as a child. when i was like 8 i told my mom that i had a reality tv show where i was a spy and it was super popular and i was extremely rich and i'd sneak out at night into a helicopter to go film it. i think that being hired by the secret service to protect the mayor whos secretly a porn star only to find out that he was working with your uncle and osama bin laden and than having to kill them and gtfo of there and having to kill HUGO FUCKING CHAVEZ in the process is really an evolution of that

[thedogsleg]

Youse are not tapping the fact that Postal dude would love primus. Jellikit? CMON. Too Many Puppies is obvs a P1 song

[venomousray]

Wow I sure do love hit franchise postal! Postal 1, postal redux, postal 2, postal 2 paradise lost, postal 4, and postal brain damaged!

[grtv]

theyre AI you can shove them in any game you can shove them in any game please other game crossovers . please. please gordon put them in fucking payday 2 in the acab stream stick them in any game . . crossover.

i think people should crossover hlvrai w/ other stuff more.

.

[azzayofchaos]

In False’s description for the MailDemon Au you said Ren has multiple partners. Can I ask you they are?

Big Surprise I’m sure, is DocM and Martyn.

Doc: (Doc, Maddox 77)

- Doc and Ren got Las Vegas married, it was spur of the moment, they’d been close for a while and Doc definitely wanted to study Ren under a microscope a little bit:

“This man is an anomaly and definitely possessed/not human. I MUST STUDY HIM.” “Whatever you say dude!” - they were both severely drunk. (From Sere)

- it’s an open marriage, Doc is not upset about whatever Ren and Martyn have going on, just about the fact that Martyn’s a bitch. (They bicker, a lot, they might also eventually kiss though, it’s okay.)

- Doc is rather convinced that the “Salmon Mafia” (whatever that is…) is after him:

Salmon sushi appears on the doorstep— Ren: “Oh, hey! Rad my dudes! Free dinner!” Doc: *Hysterical ranting in German*

(He’s not wrong but no one tell him that—)

- Doc is x-military, hence his abnormally advanced prosthetics. He presumably got dishonorably discharged…

- He is in fact a doctor/surgeon and works a lot of odd shifts at the local hospital.

- he’s doing his best to deal with RK’s antics but isn’t that involved in the HOA tyranny stuff— at least not now.

- he is definitely peeved about the direction GigaCorp is shoving Ren towards though…

- despises the Permit Office, especially that Pesky Imp, also the Police force…

———

Martyn Littlewood:

- weird situationship with Ren/RK. He’s a bit of a jealous bitch but also has eyes and is in fact looking at Ren’s husband. (Flirting will definitely help ease this rivalry…)

- Unfortunately supports RK’s horrible tyrannical schemes. Bdubs is also trying to suck up to RK, but keeps getting ignored cuz RK has favorites (it’s Martyn).

- Martyn hosts then local radio show, he’s always down for some gossip and the Postal Demons are of great service to him in that sense, especially considering their relative omnipresence. He likes bothering Jimmy about it.

- Martyn and Cleo have known each other since forever (I need to fill in the backstory here… I’ll elaborate if I do a post about Cleo specifically later <3)…

———

(Several of the quotes and base ideas are from my lovely collaborator, whom I forgot to @ before like a moron… @queseresere )