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penvisions · 1 year ago

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return the favor {chapter 21}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller x Smuggler! Reader

Summary: After an explosive fight the night before, your trio gets ready to depart from Jackson. Finding yourself back on outside the gates, everything seems different. But then again so are you, so are your circumstances.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: canon typical language, canon typical angst, canon typical violence, use of weapons, use of guns, use of machete, fighting, violence, reference to previous injuries, reference to past traumas, ptsd symptoms in both joel and bean, self-depreciation, super fucking sad moment in scene two of this one, MAJOR ANGST, yelling, conflict, emotional baggage, talk of outbreak day, medical jargon, reader has a lot of thoughts on a cure for the virus, existentialism

A/N: inspiration for this chapter was 'let it burn' by shaboozy. these two have grabbed a hold of my thoughts and i am writing pages like a mad woman. bean and joel mean so so much to me. hopefully it's all coherent, please let me know what y'all are thinking! i know it's a mess for these two right now an the content is angsty and may be triggering in this part of the story. my inbox is always open, love y'all ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

The morning came quickly, no sleep having been found under the cover of night.

You couldn’t have dosed off for more than a few minutes at a time, an hour at the most spent on the cusp of awareness. That in-between state where you were immobile, and your mind tried it’s hardest to let you slip under but just shy of lying about. It was warm, that was the only consolation of the house offered to you for the night. It wasn’t another night sleeping on the frozen ground and hoping the temperature didn’t drop or the windchill robbed you of breath and feeling. Of constantly waking to check if the other sleeping bags were still rising and falling with the even breaths of those inside.

Sighing, you reached out across the empty bed to stretch out your arms from the curled up position you had adopted. But you sat up suddenly when the spot your hand had reached was warm. As if someone had been sitting on the edge of the bed. As you did so, a thick blanket you didn’t recall seeing when pulling the covers back pooled around your waist.

You heard the front door open and close, but no footsteps came further into the house. Not Tommy coming over to begin the day, but his brother departing on his own.

He must’ve returned after you hid away for the night, biding his time until things calmed down enough for him to enter the house undisturbed. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you pictured him laying the blanket over you, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as you slept.

Of him setting on the edge of his own bed, consumed by his thoughts and feelings that had to be so overwhelming he had decided to self-destruct and tear everything around him down in the process.

It hurt. It hurt to picture him alone by his own creation, but still feeling the desire to make sure you were comfortable in wake of that.

But it didn’t mean anything, it couldn’t. He had made it his mission to find the words that would hurt you the most and use them against you. To use your own insecurities against you, point them out and use them as a way to rationalize this course of action. Rationalize abandoning you, you and Ellie.

Joel.

Joel was standing beside one of the horses, the stall gate open as he fastened a saddle to the tall creature, tightening the buckle to make sure it was secure. The horse snickered, signaling to him that you were approaching if your footsteps hadn’t reached him quite yet. When he turned to look over his shoulder, you felt your body twitch, fight or flight activated in a visceral way.

You immediately dropped Ellie’s hand. She reached for it even as her own emotions fluttered up and became overwhelming. But you stepped away, nearly knocking into Tommy in the process.

When he looked up from his task completely, his eyes met yours and you turned on your feet and walked away without a second thought. Your name followed, but you didn’t turn back. A chorus of your name sounded all around as you fled the stables on shaky legs, face hot and heart thudding painfully hard in your chest. Head dizzy with the brief encounter of a man who you hadn’t expected to see ever again too much after a fitful night.

A hand closed around your arm and you thrashed against it, whipping around and landing a punch on whoever it was right in the middle of their chest.

“Get off of me!” Terror colored the air, the pure feeling of being trapped. Of being touched by someone who you didn’t give permission to. But the person moved toward you, grunting from the force of the hit you had landed on them, breath being drawn back in to recover. Their arms came around you, cradling you to their chest and hands holding the back of your head as you lost the feeling in your limbs. Body going slack in a last-ditch effort of self-preservation.

The person didn’t expect that, and they lost their footing, knees hitting the ground hard when you jostled along with them. But they tried their best to not let you land on your own numb limbs. You could barely hear anything over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears, your own name being called out softly not breaking through. Eye blinking rapidly, you tried to clear your blurring vision, though it wasn’t from tears. You had exhausted all of those last night.

“We gotta stop, darlin’.” Joel’s somber tone finally broke through, his voice thick with tears he wasn’t letting fall. They were a shine in his beautiful eyes when you looked up at him with an unfocused gaze. Vision blurring and sharpening in a rapid succession. His own softening when he realized you were barely there, barely present under the direct attention he was giving to you now. You watched the wrinkles around his brow furrow, deepening as he tried to coax something, anything out of you.

But you were unable to comply, unable to give him anything else. He had taken everything already, burned down what he didn’t like with vicious words that had festered all night. Taken ahold of you and ruined the rest. You had nothing for him anymore.

“I-I can’t keep feeling like my chest is gonna cave in every time I lose sight of you.” He murmured into your hair, leaning down to speak only to you. Distantly, you were aware of the watching eyes of Ellie and Tommy, just inside the threshold of the stables. Both uncertain of what to do, if they should separate you from each other or let this play out. Joel was holding you with such care, such caution and it made them both pause. “My breathing gets stuck, it hurts, darlin’. Feels like knives when you get hurt, spreads all over my body, it numbs me. When I can’t help you, when I can’t see you or reach you, call you back to the present. And that’s not good, we both know that.”

“Joel…” You cautiously treaded, voice sounding foreign and so unlike your own even to your own ears as they steadily cleared. Unsure why he was doing this. Now, of all times. He had already made his case, tore you down as he self-destructed. But he was trying to explain now the reason he had done so in such a catastrophic way. Just like how he was trying to make amends with Ellie, giving her the choice he had so selfishly stolen from her on the same path of destruction just the night before.

“It’s not…it’s not easy. And the further we’ve traveled, the more time we spend out here. It’s just…it’s not something that can last. And for that, I am sorry. I-I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I fired at you yesterday, you have to know that was all projection. You are strong, you are capable, you are so god damn smart, darlin’. But…it’s not…” His gloved hands were strong on the back of your head, on the small of your back despite the way they ached in the cold of the early morning. One last hold on you before he let you go. You knew him, you could read him, and it was too real of an understanding that he was trying to spell out for you now, even through the fog taken over your entire being.

You had known, deep down. That the feelings didn’t mean anything, even if you acknowledged them. They didn’t change anything, didn’t alter the dynamic, only gave it a depth that was dangerous.

“I’m the one who isn’t strong enough, can’t move fast enough. Can’t keep up with everything thrown our way to get here or what’s to come. But I would try until my last breath, darlin’, please believe that. And that’s the problem.”

“Because you do feel something for me.” You didn’t argue, didn’t try to call him out. You simply wanted to understand, the hurt of his words still rooted deep in your mind and heart.

“…yes.” He finally admitted, finally decided to be honest with you about what had begun to develop over the journey here. But it didn’t bring you any joy now, to know that the man felt for you the way you had begun to felt for him. It was damnation, he had been correct in his description. Because you both knew that clinging to that spark was far more dangerous than trying to cultivate it into a fully grown tangible thing. It would prompt the most resilient of things from you both, violent in their tendencies and ugly in the worst ways if picked up upon by others. Leverage to use against one or both of you, something that would bring about death.

“Okay.” Was all you could say, face calm despite the storm raging inside of you. It was breaking, beginning to wane and soon it would disappear. It would leave you empty, a gaping hole in the thick plaster you had slathered and smoothed over yourself in order to make it in the world as it was today. Having already been torn down once by a man with careful words and hands, capable of helping you to create something when nothing seemed to matter.

He had given you hope, but the man standing in front of you now was different. Joel wasn’t feeding into the same notion, instead adding his own layer of solution over the walls he had stumbled through in clumsy motions. He wouldn’t be helping you to dismantle it, too afraid of what it would mean. Too afraid of what it would symbolize in this world. So unlike the man before him, but so similar in the ways that he had nestled himself into the confines of your heart.

Your arms didn’t feel like your own as they reached up and snaked around his neck, your legs didn’t feel like your own as they moved to straddle one of his own and give you purchase to embrace him back. Your lips didn’t feel like your own as they met his in a chaste kiss. A goodbye that wasn’t bittersweet, but venomous. His tears finally fell, dampening the skin of your neck.

Overcoming the disastrous events of yesterday would take time, something of a luxury neither of you had. He was trying to make amends, trying to make you understand. That’s all he could do, was try. And all you could do in return was take the heavy stones he had tied around his limbs and loosen them. Let them fall away and take them on yourself so he wouldn’t have to carry them. You had before and you could do it again.

“I can’t go with you.” You whispered, lips brushing against his as the words sprouted from you. The truth too painful to admit at full volume, too painful to say at all. But you had to. You had to tell him you understood it was the right thing, that he understood it was the right thing. Distance. Perhaps long-lasting separation that turned into only once knowing each other.

“I know.”

He helped you to stand back up, putting distance between you both as he walked back into the stables. Tommy trailed after him, both men giving you a moment with a confused and concerned Ellie. She was too young to understand that despite the apology, the bridge had been burned and it was only one of you who would take her to where she needed to go.

You turned to her, not wanting to do this, not wanting her to see how hurt you were but knowing that whatever she did glimpse, it was absolutely not aimed at her. “I’m not mad at you, Ellie. I just…I’m not good enough to get you where you need to go if he’s there. And he’s not good enough to do it if I’m there. He made it clear as crystal he has one care he’s allowing himself in the world and it’s you.”

“You’re being selfish! I know he’s an ass. He yelled at me too, but look! I’m trying, I’m giving him a second chance. Why can’t you?” Her words were sharp, cutting into you like the blade you wielded and you took each one without a grimace.

"Ellie, that man is your future. He will protect you until his last breath. But we can’t all travel together again.” Your eyes moved from her deep frown and her hands gripped tight on the second bag that dangled by her legs to the figure of Joel leading a singular horse out of the stables. “I have so much care and love for you, but it’s not a good fit. All three of us, it was always supposed to be him, Ellie.

I’m not able to protect you, I’ve been out of it most of our trip, unable to do anything without his help. He’s the one who can get you there, he’s the one who is capable. I’m so sorry for making you feel like you could count on me, I’m not the one to place your bets on. He is.”

"So what, it all meant nothing? The whole fucking journey here didn't mean anything to you?"

"Ellie, please listen to me and hear me, it meant everything to me. but it's past and there are some things I have to take care of."

“You’re just gonna leave me? Like he tried to, like he regrets trying to do. But you’re actually gonna fucking do it, huh? You’re a real piece of work. So much for sticking with me. Fucking liar.” She stalked off, refusing to hear anything else you had to say. “Go, get the fuck away from me! I never want to see you again!”

Joel’s hand curling around her shoulder as she crossed the threshold of the stables made them the perfect wounded pair and you turned your back on them as they began to walk away, hoping that this was all for the best. That you were making the right move.

You were still at the stables when Tommy returned, his pack still over his shoulders but his rifle was missing. He was silent as he entered the stall you were readying a horse in. It was a beautiful animal, with white and brown patches all over. You figured the coloring would help you to blend into the landscape easily, having a long journey ahead of you.

“Where will you go?” Tone so unlike his brother, though the twang of a Texan accent curled around his words all the same.

“Home.” You grunted as you tightened a bag to hang from the saddle, the pack holding a small collection of camp kitchen supplies. Maria had tried to give you as much to work with as possible, not wanting you to starve or be without a source of heat should more storms greet you outside the gates.

“And where is that?”

“California. Should’ve gone back a long time ago, but…things never worked out.” You could sense the curiosity in him, so unlike his brother who hid his emotions. He had been nothing but kind to you, even if you hadn’t directly interacted with him. But if he was related to Joel, he was a good man. Indulging him, you found yourself opening up to him with more directness than you had with anyone before. Wanting a lifeline here in Jackson should you find your way back here. “Tennessee was home when the Outbreak happened, stuck around there for a while….then found myself in Boston. I remember catching glimpses of you with Joel, every so often. And then suddenly you disappeared. Wasn’t ever sure what happened, but I figured a loss is a loss.”

“Yesterday was such a hectic day. With falling on your arm and everything…will you be okay?” He followed you out of the stall, out of the stables, the horse letting you lead it leisurely along. Two shadows waiting close by, a horse already saddled and ready beside them.

“I hope so.” You offered him a soft smile, grateful for his concern.

“Will you be okay?” His inflection changed, eyes looking between both of your own as he moved closer and placed a hand on your shoulder. You sighed, trying to shake the thoughts of what happened today from your mind, knowing they would be revisited tonight when you try to rest.

“I’ve done pretty good so far, think I can manage to get over your big brother.” You knocked his shoulder with your own. His arms suddenly came around you in a hug, his chin hooking over one of them and nearly knocking your hat from atop your head. But you didn’t flinch, too worn out to fight against comfort if someone wanted to offer it to you. With warmth blossoming in your chest, you let your head lean into his own and closed your eyes.

“Thank you.” His low voice was strong, emotions strong as you hesitantly returned the sudden embrace. “Thank you for helping get him here.”

“Thank you for being alive,” You whispered back, the worry of how this all could’ve turned out weighing heavily on you even in of luck and chance. Of the sheer determination Tommy must’ve exhibited to not only leave with the Fireflies all those years ago, but to actually leave the organization and not find himself on a hit list. That he found refuge here in Jackson, a life here in Jackson, it was all so overwhelmingly wonderful. For a man who had been down so many wrong paths to find a good one to travel on after so long. That it allowed him to not only survive but live, given him the opportunity to reconnect with his brother.

Given him the chance to make something out of the wreckage of this world that would last.

“You have a home here.” He leaned back, arms still around you as he looked down at you, trying to find the right words for a goodbye that wouldn’t add weight to the events since arriving. “Maria likes you, sees you. I like ya just based on the fact that you’re not afraid to holler back if someone comes at ya. Can throw a hell of a right hook too. We’ll be here for you, whenever you decide to return.”

You nodded once, allowing him to help you mount the horse and followed that morning’s patrol through the town and toward the gate.

The railroad was easiest, so you stuck close to it when you could. The open land setting your nerves on high alert, there was no coverage out here on the plains. But you were hoping that the advantage of having a horse now would allow you a good head start if someone tried you, the rifle on your shoulder too. Maria did well, giving you everything you might need. More help than you could have ever hoped for, including the map you had found in the pocket of your new coat, detailing the route Joel and Ellie would be taking.

You had stood still for a long while, beside the horse you had let loose to get a drink from a small creek. The map tight in your gloved hand as you stared out toward the expanse of Colorado. The state line between Wyoming and Idaho close by, only a few minutes travel. Torn between moving in the opposite direction of them, worried for them and the possible threats that awaited them. But they were strong, stronger without you. They would be okay, you had to hope they would be okay. Tucking the map back into your pocket, you clicked your tongue to get the horse to come back to you.

Mounting it easily, you made your way west and crossed the state line.

Night fell and with it you hunkered down in the mild protection of the woods. The horse laying down and allowing you to lean up against their warm body, one blanket thrown over his neck to help stave off some of the cold. You had your sleeping bag curled over your shoulders, unzipped to make a small shield against the biting chill, but even with all the supplies and advice and kind words Maria had offered you, you were still utterly and completely alone. The fire crackling in front of you did nothing to warm the cold that had taken root in your chest, not born of the weather. It would only defrost with the snickering laughter of a sarcastic teenager, in the rumbling chuckle of a stoic man, in the lightness they both inspired in you despite the endless circumstances that decided to rain down upon you all.

Your heart ached for the gruff grunts Joel would make when settling down for the night, either in front of the fire for an imitation of a family dinner or for the attempt at getting some sleep for the evening. But it was a thing of the past, something you wouldn’t hear again. Alone. Completely and wholly alone. A sentence of your own making, a reality brought on by your foolish naivety that you were now subject to. Journey now shrouded in the selfish need to seek answers to questions that had plagued you for far too long. No longer intertwined with that of a brooding older man who had space in his heart enough for a girl who hid her pain behind terrible jokes. No longer a part of that dynamic, unsure if you ever were supposed to even be a part of it in the first place but having forced yourself into the fold when faced with returning behind the walls of the quarantine zone.

Spit back out in such a damning way.

Sighing, you stretched a boot out to stamp the small fire out. Shrugging tighter against the horse behind you, prompting them to turn their head and snuff against your hat in a teasing way. He was a good animal, easy to direct, willing to follow, gentle. But still, you were alone. Surrounded only by the bare trees of the wilderness you had to cross.

It was the fifth day after departing from Jackson when the universe decided you were ready for it to pick back up the punches. Tracking your progress on the map as you tried to calculate how many hours or steps it would take to trek through the dense woods that would get you through the state of Idaho and into the desert landscape of Nevada. It had been a discussion, between you and Maria, which route would be the most logical.

Either to gear up impossibly so in order to endure the remaining time of winter through the pacific northwest and make your way south through the long state of California to your hometown. Or to put up with the snow and ice for the duration of traveling through a corner of one state before finding relative refuge in the desert landscape that made up most of the south west part of the country. It would mean more exposure through the desert, but it would also mean lesser chances of running into people or Infected. More reliance on supplies and rationing.

After admitting that you weren’t very fond of the cold, of winter in general, maps of different states had been brought out from where they were collected in the council’s meeting place. She had allowed you to look them over, wanting to give you the best chance she could at accomplishing what you were set out to do. To help you, to help you find what you needed to in order to move on and begin to heal on your own terms. A journey she did not envy, but one she would do whatever she could to give you the best chance of returning to Jackson someday.

She liked you, came her admittance over a cup of coffee. You had sought her out in the early morning before Tommy had awoken to ready himself for the task his brother had desperately asked him to take over. Maria had been awake, her kitchen light visible from the house you were in across the street. Not having the courage to bother her otherwise in the wake of being torn down so completely by someone who you thought had accepted you. Hesitant to reach out and force a connection with the woman who had a literal commune’s worth of worries on her shoulder, paired with the ups and downs of pregnancy in a time where every aspect of it was washed in uncertainty.

But she saw you. Most likely told of the disastrous confrontation that had happened by her husband. Perhaps seeing you more then than she had previously.

You had initially planned to take Ellie to where she needed to go, staying with her for however long it would require hearing the Fireflies out. To apply logic and statistics to their case of proposed action with Ellie now in their hands. With her blood and tissue at their relative disposal in order to run tests, to assuage that she truly was immune in tests and medical procedures that would warrant a solid base to work off of. You weren’t being honest though, with either Joel or Ellie. You didn’t think it was possible. You didn’t think the creation of something so expansive that it would eradicate the very real and adaptive being of cordyceps would be easy, if at all possible. In this lifetime or the next.

The world had shifted. And there was no way to turn back the hand of time on something so complete and expansive. The world had decided what the new order was, the best way to endure it was to adapt. Alter ways of thinking to align with it, accept it. Hell, cordyceps had found a way to adapt in a relatively short twenty years. Evolution almost fast tracking in order to preserve itself for a longer duration. Another thing to consider when thinking about overcoming it. Adaptability meant survival, and if it was fast acting then surely it would find a way to take on elements of a vaccine or cure and circumvent the attempt.

The issue didn’t lie solely in the science and medical proficiency of the staff, but in the resources that it would take to even jumpstart such research. Ellie was only one person, so young and developed into her own mindset, she would’ve listened to them. Turned to you for your opinion, your guidance.

And you would’ve been honest with her then. In the face of whatever plan the Fireflies had concocted up while playing the waiting game. Playing the hoping game. That she would have to most likely remain at their facilities, if they even had any up and operating on the level they would require for such an egotistical task of altering the shift the world had deemed to make. That she would have to give herself over wholly to them, to their ministrations. That she could weaken her immune system in the process, fall victim to some other illness or virus in the efforts to find one for the outbreak. That it would be a shadow of a life, with no guarantee that it would make a difference, let alone a universal one.

That you believed it was hopeless.

And then you would’ve told her of your hometown, beginning the journey in that direction with the determination to show her the other coastline. To help her find another meaning for her life to have worth. Even if it was simply being alive. It meant so much these days, to simply be alive.

Though your thoughts were zoned out on an endless play of ‘what if’ ‘then what’ that didn’t matter anymore, you were on alert as you continued on. The sun trying to break through the cloud coverage in the last dredges of the day.

Just as your foot came down in another, countless step you swooped down to cloak yourself behind the fallen trunk of a pine tree. Ears straining and chest hurting with the effort to quiet your breathing, you could hear the distant sound of branches crunching, people walking among the wooded area just like you were. One voice sounded feminine, the other masculine. It was an easy conversation between them, a simple request to gather kindling for a fire since night would fall within the hour.

They weren’t speaking English, as least not completely, the voices sounding in a mixture of it and Spanish. Familiar but yet so wedged into the crevices of your mind after years of not using your household language. Such a tantalizing siren song that would allow for easier connection with the people you otherwise knew nothing about. Closing your eyes, you felt more than the pull of a weak desire to announce yourself, take a risk of introducing yourself in much the same way.

As soon as their voices seemed to move away, you pushed yourself up from where you were hidden and turned the other way. Not wanting to be around people after the disastrous attempt of connecting with someone so fresh and painful, a weight that you’re not sure would ever lift from your mind and heart. Resigned to be a singular soul wandering around the desolate landscape of what was once the world.

You were about to turn away when you heard a shuffle far too close for comfort. Followed by the hesitant call of something you hadn’t heard in over two decades. Your name. Your full name.

Head jerking around, rifle aimed at the ready; you gazed into a pair of eyes so similar to your own.

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scrumptiousstuffs · 3 days ago

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tell me your fav fic of each fk couples! and why u like it ☺️

Oh, what a fun ask!

For Akk/Aye (my babies!!! 🥺🧡🤍) - no 1 got to be Business or Pleasure by @firstkanaphans

It’s just so good. Even with it being somehow AU, Sarah has managed to keep the essence of what we know and love about Akk and Aye (Akk with his insecurities even as he successfully runs a law firm) and Aye being cheeky while he systematically seduce his way into Akk’s arm, apartment and coffee machine.

Also, the fiction itself has side stories - we have Aye’s viewpoint when he first met Akk and other shorter stories once they have gotten together (it’s just a fiction that keeps on giving!)

Personally, I will recommend anything by Sarah (I’m already looking forward when/if she does eventually write a KantBison fic for us). But some of her other works inc. Stardust (Akk/Aye with a baby and cat!), Best Laid Plan ( Akk asking Aye for “lessons”) and many, many more…

However, if I’m looking beyond Sarah’s writing, my pick will be the following:

Tales from the Realm (by Aka_nna) - this is an interconnecting series of various Thai BL series but the first 2 works in this series focuses on Akk/Aye. It’s fantasy and the amount of world building the writer has done is nicely done.

These Words inside (by KeeperoftheCottage) - it’s smut 🤣 but more than that, it’s how the writer interpreted Akk/Aye’s inner feelings and desire each episode

Turns Around the Sun (by KeiKatayama) - this author has written only 2 stories of Akk/Aye but both are good reads. It flips back and forth from present Akk/Aye as we see them in the series (just with the writer expanding on some of the scenes or what they think may have happened) and how it then connects Akk/Aye as they navigate their Uni days…

For Alan/Gaipa (despite only having 3 scenes of them together, I am truly impressed with the amount of fanfictions these writers managed to generate!):

My no 1 pick will be: Honey I’m home (by Sleepcatgif). This author also wrote another Alan/Gaipa fic called Encore (which is also good but my fav remains the above).

Honey I’m Home is slightly AU - Alan didn’t meet Gaipa in Mrs Hong’s funeral (and she is still alive). But, they are neighbours and through a series of mishaps with the help of a haughty cat and meddling Mrs Hong, the boys slow-burn romance is amazing to read. And the way Alan pines after Gaipa…exquisite 😉

Honorable mentioned: I love you, this is a new thing (by timetobodlygo) - they somehow find themselves fake-dating 😂 and again by Sarah: Divine Intervention (Mrs Hong matchmaking from heaven hehe)

As for SandRay…because of the nature of their storyline, most of them are quite angsty 😅. My favourite angsty fic (thankfully with a good ending):

Through all the stages I wandered (by kitsunemoon) - it’s about second chance and fate, and Ray and Sand who finally meet on even ground several years post-canon. I remembered reading this and got a little bit emotional. Ray feeling wistful of what could have been, and finally taking one last hurrah of going to music festival that Sand has always wanted to go as “goodbye” of a sort to the relationship he thought will never be rekindled again. I did said it has a happy ending right? 🫣

Honorable mentioned: Love Unscripted again by Sarah (I hope you are sensing a pattern here 🤣 - just go read ALL her fics)

Plus Hurt and grieve but don’t suffer alone (by lackadaisy) - angsty, hurt/comfort with a more in depth look of Ray’s alcoholism, his journey in rehab on the background of slow burn SandRay romance

As for KantBison…because it’s still airing, we don’t have as much fics. So, I’ll reserve my judgement until we have more of them!

How about you? What’s your fav?

#I can’t seem to keep my answer succinct at all 😑#I’m sorry lol #asked and answered #fanfiction recommendation #firstkhaotung universe

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honeyydrunk · 8 months ago

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I NEED SOMEONE'S OPINION !! i'm going to write a satosugu fic, but i have two options of the fic and since i'm REALLY busy, i can't do both. so can someone please 🙏 help me decide which to invest my energy on?

just dm me w a request or anything !!

option 1: bittersweet a slightly angsty 'confession on the tip of your tongue but never said'. very canon compliant bc i really love writing as cc as i can and there is something about ooc i despise. i'll write like cute pre plasma arc slice of life scenes ofc. but smth about a symbolic bittersweet 'i love you' but never said is so appealing. i want to write something so horrifically bittersweet you don't know whether to HATE me or not.

i'm the strongest after all, is it wrong i'm hurt by the fact that a goal you'll never achieve was more important to you than me. be lucky that my love for you is more than my want. you knew i never cared about jujutsu society or for the weak. but i'll never tell you that you were all that mattered. as i saw you standing there like you never cared i realised i prefer cherishing my memories of you than to risk ruining them for you

after all, i'm the strongest

option 2: cute high school fall in love okay the plasma vessel arc will happen, but instead of it all going wrong and sour (i'm still killing that girl) they continue on with their days but eventually there's a confession. they talk things out? i get to finally say how IDIOTIC geto's whole ideology is because i've got annoyances for days.

i perhaps just want to use every trope i get my grimy long fingers on and yank it in there because i'm nasty like that idk 🤷‍♂️ (ex: 5 + 1 things, they end up at the gojo mansion for no reason at one point, "cherry flavoured. want to taste?", basketball but there's flirting, gojo wearing crazy outfits for attention, truth or dare,)

love makes you do crazy things. he used to be the easiest person to be around. but gradually, without me noticing, it's no longer comfortable. wanting him to like me, no longer not even thinking about it because i knew he did. is he tolerating me now because we"re friends or now i'm wondering if he's even friends with me because he likes me or because i'm 'the strongest'? whatever that's meant to mean.

"hey what would you do if i said i love you?"

my final opinion:

this was originally going to be a kfc breakup but gojo tweaks out and goes "nah uh". because i couldn't actually fathom how someone how went crazy insane when dealing with toji round 2 just let geto go like that. but what changed my mind was that if i was gojo, i would've acted the exact same way he did. so i was going to write the bittersweet one showcasing what gojo wanted to do, but never ended up doing. however then i thought about the fact that i was him, i would've badly confessed during high school.

i'm also REAL sick of people mischaracterising the both of them. getting this close 🤏 to making a whole new post about how i think the should be characterised and why everyone should follow suit with my opinion.

(if this whole post looks messy it's because it is. i wrote this with no editing no proofread just whatever i managed to somehow manifest. i'm actually listening to she a wolf by wayv and growling like taeyong did in the tiger inside superm)

(did you know i know like japanese to a certain level?) (i watched jjk in sub)

#jjk fic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #satosugu #please someone respond dm me please help #satosugu fanfic

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year ago

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thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

#writer games #?#info #tag game #longpost

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zutaralesbian · 6 months ago

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I recently re-read my own fic not all heroes wear capes and thought it would be fun to answer some questions for @shamelessdvdcommentary ❤��

(Questions and answers under the cut)

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

I wrote it back in 2020 for one of the rounds of the Shameless Big Bang. It’s a multi-chapter but a short one (only seven chapters and 37,560 words). I don’t quite remember how long it took me to finish it but it was at least four months I imagine, given I wrote it for the Big Bang and took up pretty much the entire time given.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

This is probably a bit spoilerish of an answer but back when the show was still airing, I talked a lot about Ian’s hero complex. It’s one of my favorite aspects of his character and it’s what initially morphed my idea of what his role is in this fic. (If you’ve read it, you know what I’m talking about).

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

It’s mostly told from Mickey’s POV but it does change to Ian’s from time to time too. I chose Mickey to take up the majority of it because I wanted Ian’s role in the story to be a bit more mysterious.

What was your favourite scene to write?

A scene in the middle of chapter two, where Ian and Mickey come together and talk about what split them apart. (The story is a post-S3 canon divergence with a twist). I remember really enjoying writing the dialogue between them in that scene because I love writing hurt/comfort. And I think the finished product turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

(Off topic side-note but after re-reading that whole chapter, I realized that I wrote the sex scene to be much more explicit than I remembered. Which is strange for me because I’m usually only confident in writing sex between wlw ships. I normally go fade to black with Gallavich).

How did you come up with the title?

Titling is one of the hardest parts of writing fic for me, for some reason lmao. It literally just randomly came to mind. I think it’s corny but it goes with the theme of the story so 🤷‍♀️ I’m not good at titles so I can’t really be picky on that front.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The action/fight scenes. Which sucked, considering the main plot of the fic lol. Writing those was like pulling teeth. But I pulled myself through, even though I don’t think they turned out all that great. I’m much better at writing emotional stuff.

Favourite line in the story?

“We were kids,” he clarified at Ian’s questioning expression. “And things were shit. We never stood a chance.”

It just sums up my feelings about S3 Gallavich tbh 😭

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Not really during the writing process. But when I was first trying to plan it, I debated whether to make it a canon divergence (which is what it ended up being) or a straight up AU. I ended up doing what I did both for the angst factor of it being post S3 and because I personally find full on AU’s to be much harder to write than fics that are based at least somewhat on canon.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I’ve had a few people tell me that the fic “kept them guessing” as they read it. Which happily surprised me because while I was trying to be at least a little mysterious while writing, I didn’t really think I had succeeded. So I was proud of myself when a small amount of people validated me on that!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

No specific scenes but I did originally envision a small interlude towards the end. Ian and Mickey hit a rough patch at some point in the fic because Mickey discovers a big secret that Ian kept from him. In the finished product, Mickey forgives Ian relatively quickly. At some point, it was going to be a more angsty and longer process. But I ended up not going in that direction because I felt like it would drag the story out a little too much.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

In the story, Sandy (who plays a supporting role in the fic) and Debbie are exes and Sandy eventually dates an OC. Given that I’ve grown much fonder of Debbie over the years, I think I would give her an actual role and keep her and Sandy dating if I wrote it now.

I also would have done a better job at a certain flashback scene towards the end because, along with the action scenes, it’s one of the weaker parts of the story imo.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Nah. Maybe a one-shot sequel of sorts if inspiration ever hit.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Very nervous! It was my first multi-chapter Gallavich fic and first time participating in a fandom event like a big bang.

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Yes! Given that it was a big bang, I had a beta assigned to me. shame_less18 on ao3! And she did a fantastic job! (Not sure if she has a tumblr unfortunately). Part of the reason I chose this fic to do this commentary for is because I know it’s most likely the one with the least amount of errors for that reason lol.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

This is probably my favorite fic that I’ve written. (For Shameless anyway). Mostly because it was a lot of fun. My life was simpler back then and the Shameless/Gallavich fandom was fairly popping with S10 having just aired. I’ll always look at it fondly.

#gallavich #my fic #shameless dvd commentary #*#shameless

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bluecatwriter · 8 months ago

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⭐️ for the director’s cut game!

Since you wrote one of my favorite Jack/Arthur fics ever, I give you my very first Jack/Arthur fic: "Words and Voice Fail Me"! "When Jack Seward has a breakdown trying to record on his phonograph on October 11th, Arthur comes to comfort him."

(CW for discussion of period-typical homophobia)

-This was *checks notes* my third fanfiction I ever posted, and reading back over it, I can really tell— not so much by the overall writing, which has stayed pretty similar over the past two years, but by the way I handle the details, especially logistical details of who's doing what when. I just wasn't used to writing with such precision, and as a result a lot of the writing comes off as a little awkward. Would definitely streamline if I were to rewrite it now.

-This starts out with Jack's canon narration from the book, interspersed with description. This is one of my favorite ways to write because it feels very much like directing a play— the lines are there, but I'm "directing" (writing) the stage directions, as it were, to show how the character is saying the lines.

-I liked the idea of Jack breaking down here as sort of the culmination of all the past trauma that he hasn't been able to process yet, thinking of the way that Mina's "funeral" reminded him of Lucy's death and everything around it.

-Like most of my fics, I just started with the premise and let the character voices lead me. (It's very similar to playing an improv scene, just with me playing both characters rather than bouncing ideas off another person.) I originally intended for it to be a pretty straightforward emotional hurt/comfort, but as I kept writing and the scene kept unfolding, I realized that Jack was going to lose it and ask Arthur to kiss him— and when that happened, it opened up a whole different plot than I was expecting.

-I am still pretty happy with the line, ""Well," he said, straightening his cuffs just for something to do with his hands, "I suppose I shall—" He wanted to follow the phrase with an excuse, but his mind blanked out on anything he had ever done in his life. "—go."" This is a good example of me 1000% projecting my nervous habits onto Jack.

-This was the first time I realized that characters could have erotic tie-pulling and talk about emotionally-charged subjects while their lips barely brushed. It was the beginning of an Era for me. ;)

-There's some kinda interesting gender stuff here, with Jack escaping into a fantasy about him being a woman so that his feelings for the men in his life would be "natural." I feel like there's more I could've explored there, but the fic was long enough as it was.

-In this fic, I very intentionally wrote Arthur as demisexual, and have projected it onto him ever since.

-Jack has curly hair in this fic! This was before I realized that I'd given all three suitors curly hair, and decided one had to go. The casualty was Jack, so nowadays I describe his hair as "fine."

-I'm a sucker for "one character says 'I love you' and the other returns it but they're not sure they mean the same thing" trope, and I use it here. (This may be the only time I've written Jack saying "I love you" to Arthur— in my more recent fics, I often have Jack express his sentiment in different ways, rather than just saying the words.)

-It was fun to write a little scene with Jack pouring his heart out about all his crushes, and Arthur very logically analyzing them to explain why they make sense (except for Van Helsing— he just can't grasp that one). It was also a good excuse to throw in the phrase "virile manhood."

-Originally I wasn't gonna have them kiss again, but then the dialogue just made sense for Jack to beg for another kiss, and… well. There they go!

-"You can trust me, I'm a lord" is probably the best line-before-a-fade-to-black I've ever written. ;)

-Of course there's some angsty aftermath in this one, since Jack is still struggling with a lot of self-loathing. I feel like some of the writing here is a bit rough, but I'm still happy with the overall emotions that come across.

-I originally had this end on a pretty melancholy note, but reworked it to make it more hopeful that, regardless of whether or not they sleep together in the future, their friendship is still solid.

Thanks again for sending the ask! :D

(Ask game here)

#ask games #answered #my writing #dracula daily #dracula daily spoilers #arthur holmwood #jack seward #holmward #dracula (novel)#director's cut game

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juuheizou · 6 months ago

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Errrmmmmm,,,,,,,,, ik im basically making u relive ur anger and hatred against post rue mutsuki but i need hcs for a a post rue mutsuki who’s a depressed alcoholic and ur the only real one xoxo

Friend, in order to relive it, I would have to have stopped living it at some point. ANYWAY, can't leave anyone who calls me the only real one hanging, so here we go! This is in such a random bullet point format because trying to articulate my thoughts in a way thats actually organized and makes sense is part of why it's taken me too damn long to answer

maybe it's a matter of "show more unglamorous depression/trauma" or maybe it's just vibes, but for whatever reason, I've always seen Mutsuki as a hypersomniac after Rushima, even when it was fresh and I tried to write an angsty hurt/comfort fic (it was HORRIBLE and I RAN OUT OF IDEAS so I gave up and deleted it lmao) about it rather than the action-packed casefic I ended up writing.

he blames himself so deeply for what happened. every step of the way no matter how irrational, in his mind, was all his fault, if he just reacted sooner, if he was stronger, if he just let Torso torture him to death, if he never lived to see Rushima in the first place

he basically disappears all over again once he makes it back to the mainland. barely gets out of bed let alone leaves his apartment, when he does drag himself to work he doesn't talk to anyone and never seems to be all there, and he definitely doesn't go anywhere other than those two places anymore

NUMBNESS. his bleeding heart was the first domino to fall in the lead-up to Rushima, and it's still buried in there, but he's just so... slow... to react... and like I said, often not all there when he's out and about. On the inside he might be crying, or more likely screaming at himself to react to an upsetting case or colleague having a bad day, but instead he's just there, listless and blank like a piece of the background, and only when he's alone in the safety of his apartment will he bawl his eyes out over the situation and his added guilt for doing nothing

in canon, he's a happy, outgoing drunk, and I think his first drink is an attempt to psych himself up for some meeting with Saiko or Suzu or someone close to him, or something like that, that he just really didn't want this new side of him to rip away

it becomes his way to psych himself up for anything he doesn't feel like he can leave his apartment to do but look! if he just has a little drink first, he can do it and won't let those he cares about down, and anyone but the most perceptive and close to him (you know damn well who I see that being) would think great! Look how happy he is! How much fun he's having! We were so worried about him, but look at him, smiling and laughing and talking to us!

before he even knows it, he's drinking to feel normal

from there the consequences can go in so many directions I honestly can't pick just one knock yourself out

#i'm sorry this is so late fren honestly i just wasn't sure what to write for a while #also i could never hate mutsuki himself i just hate the unrecognizable character ishida just sprung on us suddenly for no good reason #mutsuki tooru #alcohol cw #answers #snow-dropps

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comfortlesshurt · 1 month ago

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Skyler's 2024 December Fic Recs

Hello, hi, another month of fic recs (15 of them!) under the cut, ordered by least to most hits as of this post, so show the top ones some love pleeeeeasssseeee.

but once a year by OrSomething23: oneshot! sweet little broganes fic set during one of Shiro's pre-kerb birthdays. it's just CUTE, you'll like it.

facing the darkness (on your own) by OrSomething23: oneshot! little bit of keith angst. I think this was technically on the october rec list too BUT i read it again so it counts again.

I love you more than fried chicken by AsterikaMay: klance with ACE LANCE! oneshot. so so cute, and this author leaves nice comments on my fics too so like.... I love them actually. fic-wise, nothing too angsty! it's a nice fluffy fic for such an empty tag ;_; we NEED more ace lance... i need to write ace lance..........

Vibrio Vunificus by OrSomething23: oneshot! quick whump fic with keith & regris. it bears repeating: this was written during whumptober and ughhhhh it still impresses me how much this author pumped out during that, basically ALL my type of content too. just wow

I Know You Better Than I Know Myself by Spazzcat: klance oneshot! I'm a little biased bc this was a secret santa gift for me but I'm still objectively right that it's GOOD. mission fic with some miscommunication. little angsty, tiny bit whumpy. it is so so good.

the darkness which surrounds me by OrSomething23: finished 2-chapter fic! one of their whumptober works that's part of a series but can be read standalone if you want. keith-centric with some broganes.

From the Dark Spaces Between the Stars by SilenceIsGolden15: oneshot! keith-centric. a little horror, a little whump, and plenty of team voltron interaction.

Devour Me Whole by heavily_caffeinated: klance oneshot. i've been MEANING to read this for a hot minute but finally got around to it and UGH why did i wait so long? anything by caf is already a guaranteed great read but to see the hurt/comfort and canon compliant tags too..... this is a fic specifically for ME.

When Does A Ripple Become a Tidal Wave? (When Does The Reason Become The Blame) by negativefouriq: broganes oneshot! it's angsty but also sweet and a quick read too. little bit canon divergent.

A Raven on the Path Home by artimess_chimes: oneshot! klance but more lance focused! and THAT is how i can promise you this is a wonderful fic tbh because how often do you see me finishing primarily lance focused fics? this is so so good and i'm afraid anything i say will spoil it, but the way the author writes... UGH, it's perfect.

The Stars Smile Back by DriftingFarandWide: klance oneshot. READ SMILE FOR THE STARS FIRST if you're going to read this but keep in mind SftS has major character death and TSSB chose not to use archive warnings. don't go in if you can't handle either of those.

i like the way your heart works by thespacenico: klance oneshot with ACE KEITH. i had such an ace fic december apparently! angsty for a bit but still a happy ending and UGH i need to write ace keith too, I swear......

Lover, I'm Home by heavily_caffeinated: klance oneshot and AGAIN.... i see the hurt/comfort tag, i go in..... this one's a quick read, tiny bit angsty but mostly cute older married klance.

Half the Galaxy by heavily_caffeinated: klance oneshot. again, i see the canon compliant tag on a caf fic and already KNOW i've found perfection. this is true idiots in love.

Silver Bells by heavily_caffeinated: complete klance chapter fic. I'm legit surprised if you have NOT heard of this already but in case you haven't, I think the best argument I can make for it is that I am a certified holiday hater and I LOVED this fic. you want to read it I promise.

#fic recs

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misteria247 · 2 years ago

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So, I have a few things to say and/or questions, and you don't have to answer and/or say anything about them for any of them and/or all of them ofc. So first of all, that post with 2012 Mom Leo (which always brings me joy, I love 2012 Mom Leo so much) and the whole, him and Raph coming to an agreement for Raph to swear in Japanese, because he doesn't want him swearing in front of kids, esp. Rise Mikey. And Raph swearing in front of 2003 Splinter who just basically got shocked and was going to say something, but then didn't, because Raph is the same, and then Rise Splinter also overhearing and just laughing and then 2012 Leo finding out from his brothers (I think) and just falling on the floor and cracking up was just, so nice and funny. ^^

Ok, now for some other stuff. Ok, so you know, how you and some other people were talking about 2012 Leo maybe having a heart condition (because 2012 Leo can never have enough issues, right, he could use more issues and/or conditions, because we/people are "evil", lol. I wonder if it would it make Leo (not just 2012, but in general) feel better that most of the suffering people put him through, is mostly always done out of love for him? Probably not. And now, I gotta know, is there a chance that this new headcanon might be a thing in ur Universal Collison fic, because like, the even more angst that would cause. Like, the Rise characters would just be like, man Leo, "how are u even functioning at all with all that?", and would just be very concerned.

Ok, now unto yet another thing. But like, I saw u might be writing some fics with the Leopril ship, and yes, just yes. I still love Donnie/April and Casey/Donnie (or all three), but I have grown to really like Leopril too now. As well as Caseynardo now too; I also really like Caseynardo now too. I also just really love all these characters, and really like the dynamics of these characters, so I am always up to seeing more of that. Plus like, I have grown to really like the Leopril and Caseynardo ship (which is Casey and Leo ofc) now.

Last things for now. Thanks for updating "A Universal Collison" and happy early 10 chapters! Just one more chapter until 10 after all!!

And like, I have already said that in the reply of that post, but God, I would love to see a fic of Foot/Bodyguard, gotten separated from his family and raised in The Foot with Kairi and is her bodyguard and just strong friends with her and Shini (I love them and Kairi, Shini, Leo trio so much). Because like, the fluff, the angst, just everything?!?? It sounds exactly like the kind of fic I would love (I am also a sucker for Foot!Leo, dark(er) Leo, and/or more villainous Leo and/or etc., because I am evil, and I like to see my favorite in interesting stories and/or situations and stuff). Anyways, I really like that AU basically.

Alright, I still have more to say, but God, this Ask has gotten long enough. Praying it gets through properly.

Aaaaaaaa-! I'm glad that you liked my one post featuring 12 Mom Leo and his agreement with his little brother who ended up putting his foot in his mouth in front of 03 Splinter lol. I was hoping for a comedic effect and I'm glad that it's come out well!!! Now onwards to your questions!!!!

Tbh I actually was thinking about adding the heart condition thing into A Universal Collision, however unfortunately I've already got a lot of stuff already planned for our boy 12 Leo such as his knee and vocal chords and a few other things. And while I'd love to include it everything that I have planned somewhat for the fic is already becoming a bit longer than I was originally planning to make it and I'd hate to make the fic so long that it ends up boring people with everything. Plus I wanna give some of the spotlight to the others as well (I'm already getting stuff set up for Rise Mikey whoop-) so it'd probably make my fic way too long. However if I do go writing for this angsty head canon and all the hurt/comfort it could bring it'll probably be it's own little one shot or a little mini series that diverges from the main timeline Universal Collision is currently experiencing.

To answer your second question omfg yesssss-!!! Leopril is such a cute ship and I totally agree with you!! Also Caseynardo???? Casey and Leo have a ship???? WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT THIS OMFG-

But you're absolutely right about how the characters all have amazing dynamics and relationships that just make them so fun to play around with!!! Especially the Leopril ship, like there's just so much chemistry between them and their personalities blend extremely well together making them work well together!!! Seeing them interacting and fighting crime together is honestly just as much of a treat as seeing Capritello interact!!!!

And aaaaaa thank you for the congratulations!! Can you believe that this silly little self indulgent project is nearly ten chapters long????? Like omfg????? Tbh with you I never expected for the fic to get as long as it's gotten, in fact I was planning on leaving chapter one as a one shot in the beginning of all this insanity much like my one fic An Eldest Son's Duty. However hilariously enough the idea wouldn't leave me alone and here we are! Still super wild and overwhelming that my fic blew up the way it did like??? It's honestly just a self indulgent fic and I never could've foreseen just how big it'd get especially since there's so many other amazing writers out there and I'm like honestly an amateur in the field of writing lmao. It's wild and I'm really happy that you and others enjoy it so much!!! And you're welcome!!! I'm always here to please with giving out new chapters!!!!

Shsgsgsgsg Foot Leo being raised by the Shredder alongside Karai lives rent free in my head. I personally live for the Oroku siblings and their bestie Shinigami as they reek havoc wherever they go. And omg yessss the angst, the hurt, the fluff!!! There's just so many things that this type of scenario can give and it's one of the reasons why it's been rotting in my brain!! Just the whole premise of Leo being separated from his family and being raised with Karai as her personal bodyguard and her closest companion is honestly so good!! Especially when they meet up with the others later within their lives and things spiral from there and secrets and lies and conflicting emotions and thoughts occur within them!!! Plus Leo being morally more grey than he already is is honestly such a fun concept to think about like Oroku Leo is the type of guy who kills a guy first and doesn't ask questions much to the horror of Raph, Donnie and Mikey and to the amusement of Karai and Shinigami lol. Honestly bro I'm planning on writing something for this AU eventually because it's just too good to pass up on!!! And I'm so glad that you're enjoying the thoughts and ideas of it just as much as I am!!!! Like seriously though we need more Foot Leo in stories because it's just such a good and interesting concept and there's just so many ways people can go about this!!!!

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beneathashadytree · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I hope you had a good day! All I can think about is Reiner ngl 😭. Hopefully I can request a Reiner x reader. Where Reiner begged Peick and Zeke to take you with them to Marley if shit went south (like you wrote in the Bertholdt x reader one) and the reader is prego with Reiner child. How would Reiners mom and his family react bringing her home? (I’ve been honestly thinking that his family would hate the reader because she’s a devil in there eyes especially his mom 😀.) but slowly learn to like the reader after the years being in Marley (I BEG let Bertholdt be alive in this ) And love break my heart make the hate so Angsty (Only if your comfortable !!!!!)

And keep up the amazing work!!!!!! I love them all !!!!

MIRACLE - REINER BRAUN X READER

Warnings : canon-divergent AU, Bertholdt is alive and well in this, implications of sex, teenage pregnancy, vulgar language curse words, Reiner and reader are both 17 and then 18, reader is female!

Genre : mixture of angst and fluff

Word count : 5.8K words (I got carried away again afshdkdk)

Synopsis : Reiner never thought he'd make it out alive, let alone have a blessing added into his life.

Additional notes : As you can see, I wrote so much and took a while to post this oops. It was so much fun writing this (I'm a sucker for domestic Reiner and angst; sue me), so I hope you enjoy this! I'd love to hear your feedback of course. PS: I apologize for the very bulky format, but Tumblr has a paragraph limit, so I had to lump some paragraphs together when it came to posting.

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Pieck didn't have it in her heart to voice any complaints---not when Reiner's last ounce of strength had been used up to yell a single name, a plea in his raspy voice for his comrade to pick her up. The cart titan wanted nothing more than to selflessly help him out, but it really wasn't as easy as he'd made it out to seem, considering the fact that she'd already had to snatch both Bertholdt and Reiner himself away, after having dragged Zeke's mangled body out of Levi's shackles. Still, honoring her now-unconscious friend's request, she swiped at the girl's small body, picking her up as quickly as she could in that huge body of hers, trying her best to be gentle in the process (she often forgot her own strength in this form). It wouldn't have done if she'd accidentally hurt her; the blonde would've given her an earful, going off on a tangent about how much the girl Pieck had rescued meant to him, and how precious she was, in a way that had him wanting to treasure her.

Sure, Pieck could mildly understand the sentiments behind his request; the affectionate yet somehow sorrowful look in his eyes held a thousand stories of adoration and trials, and she could tell that this girl was someone who'd entered his world to turn it upside down. After all, she wasn't blind, and she could easily tell that he was madly in love with her just from the desperation that had bled through his shouts for her to rescue the girl the moment things went south for them in Shiganshina. But still, wasn't that a bit too extreme? At least, in her opinion, that is. Sure, she could excuse his hurry by believing that he was enamored by her, but what had him dealing with the situation as though it were a matter of life or death, when he himself was slipping away? Despite her compliance, Pieck still didn't get it; she didn't get it all, and she didn't think she really wanted to know.

***

"How are you feeling?" Reiner's voice was soft, as calm and collected as he could muster, despite the thick steam that his body emitted as it tried to heal itself, pulling himself to sit upright as he checked his girlfriend's body over a million times, "Anything hurting?" his question laced with worry, and the furrow in his eyebrows showing how concerned he was.

She gave him a weak nod, hand reaching up to rub at her temples, clearly sporting some sort of headache, "Nothing much, just a migraine," squinting at the bright sunlight, she felt around and realized she was sitting on planks of sturdy wood, "Where are we?"

A momentary feeling of shame washed over him, after having nearly failed to protect her in the mission he couldn't finish, "On the ship Zeke took to Paradis. We're going back home."

"To Marley?" she couldn't do much in protest but to frown, and Reiner was suddenly reminded of the fact that the mainland was far from home to her; in fact, she probably would've never believed it even existed months ago.

His lack of reply to her question and his faraway gaze towards Bertholdt's unconscious body to the far north of the deck counted as confirmation, and the girl sighed beside him, the sound a mix of sadness, melancholy, and helplessness. It didn't take a genius for him to understand that she'd simply given up the fight, knowing better than to argue with him about taking her back to Liberio. Even if he himself didn't know if the technicalities would all work out immediately, at the very least he knew that she'd be under his watchful eye---and she knew perfectly well (after having several arguments concerning this topic) that he had every right to be as protective as he was of her.

He had to admit, her presence in his life had been a factor he hadn't taken account of when he'd planned on retrieving the founder as had been instructed of him and his two remaining comrades. Bertholdt in particular had been especially weary of the girl's presence, his anxious nature leading him to overthink that maybe she'd caught onto their secret, and that that was the reason why she'd expressed the desire to get closer to his blonde friend. But his worry had been entirely in vain, because the truth was that she simply found Reiner so enticing in every possible way that she couldn't stay away from him. And that character he'd adopted after what happened with Marcel only drew her in further. He seemed so dependable, so wise, and so charming, in an unconventional almost-brutish way. Every thing about him, she'd said, from the way he'd laugh boisterously with Connie over dinner to the way he'd cooed as a lost kitten licked at his cheek, had dragged her into a never-ending loop of fond stares and a want to get closer to him. Reiner (having grown up so lonesome and starved of proper affection) couldn't find it in himself to push away her more-than-obvious advances, often indulging in them more than he should have (much to Annie's chagrin, as she would sit, staring at them talking quietly with something akin to disgust in her eyes, believing that he was getting far too ahead of himself).

The attraction was far from one-sided, after all, so it really was no surprise to the cadets when they saw how their strong big brother Reiner wound up dating the girl who'd weaseled her way into his heart, filling every nook and cranny with the warmth he so craved. Perhaps he was a coward who ran away from his duties and shut off his subconscious to adopt a personality he never should have tried to delude himself into thinking was real, but he was at least a young man who couldn't deny how he felt; not when his head was swimming with thoughts of her in the same way she'd confessed she couldn't get him out of her mind, even after they'd joined the scouting regiment and knew they'd be even busier than ever before.

And with the recklessness that came with youth, came bouts of times when Reiner really, really couldn't stop himself from begging to see her whenever he could find the barracks devoid of any other cadets, and with the unbridled passion they both shared as most teenagers often did, they often found themselves lost in each other's moans, bodies entwined and writhing in pleasure on the sheets, just barely making themselves look presentable before the others would come back. Their disheveled appearance wasn't turned a blind eye to, and everyone had their fair share of teasing to dish out to the flustered and yet entirely shameless couple. Bearing it with red cheeks and blinding grins that held some sort of secret, the two 17 year-olds maintained their nightly escapades, even sometimes having Eren or Ymir help them sneak out and ensuring they wouldn't get caught (not that there weren't a few close calls when Levi's sudden appearance hadn't been put into consideration and they'd been forced to hide in a nearby storage room where they still wound up muffling their sighs of pleasure on the spotless floor as they came as one).

As caught up as he was with bedding his girlfriend at every possible chance, Reiner was every bit attentive as he was all over her. He'd always kept a close eye on her, in tune with how she felt and reacted to everything, so he'd know the correct course of action to take. Hell-bent on being the perfect boyfriend as he was the perfect comrade, he'd noticed how she grew more fatigued, irritable, and even sick at times. Undoubtedly concerned for her well-being, especially after witnessing firsthand how tender---sometimes sore, even---her body had gotten over the past while whenever they'd get the chance to fall into each other's arms at night, he found her breaking down in his arms, whimpering how she'd missed her period and how absolutely terrified she'd felt. The implications of her words had sent him spiraling into shock and worry, unable to voice his thoughts of how he hadn't intended to forcibly tie her down like this, especially with his impending betrayal. Knowing that the revelation of the truth would be inevitable, Reiner had sat her down on his lap, petite hands clasped in his huge palms, offering some sort of grounding and stability as he prepared her for the huge news that he knew would either make or break them.

His whispered confession of his secret had let to a horrified gasp, with her almost scrambling to get off of him as though being within a five mile radius of his presence disgusted her. Unsurprised but still every bit as heartbroken, the blonde had left her to her devices, allowing her to process the information over days and weeks. But when his lingering glances became too much to ignore when she herself was itching to find her way back to him, she found herself gulping and reaching out for him with shaking hands, knowing that he was still every bit of the young man she'd fallen for. They were both foolish and senseless, and they found consolation in loving each other---that much she couldn't deny, no matter how many times she discovered that he was a traitor. And with a quivering voice, she'd told him of her visit to the infirmary; of her confirmed pregnancy that frightened her to no end, and of how she still wanted him to be by her side, and her by his, even should the world come crashing down on their shoulders. Back then, Reiner didn't know whether to break down in tears or hold her like he'd never let her go ever again, so he'd opted to doing a bit of both.

And right now, with the ocean breeze licking at their hair and the seagulls crying overhead, Reiner felt a sense of dread inside him, but oddly enough, he also felt he was looking forward to the upcoming period of their lives, come what may.

His girlfriend pushed herself up slowly, trudging across the deck to stand near to the metal rail, gripping it tight as she fluttered her eyes shut, inhaling sharply, "So this is what the sea is like," she mused, voice carried by the wind and reaching Reiner, his heart pounding as he saw her mingle with what she'd always been deprived of; the nature she'd never seen.

Glancing down, he lamneted the fact that his limbs hadn't all grown back, wanting nothing more than to stand up and join her. Instead, he settled for smiling at her figure as her hand subconsciously fell to her still-quite-flat belly, thinking of the future that awaited them once they'd reach the pier.

"C'mere sweetheart," he rasped out, fondness in his eyes, calloused palms waiting until she was within arm's reach to pull her down beside him, "Lay down beside me, you might get sea-sick." Settling her tiny palm against his tattered shirt, she rested her head against his broad chest, and he was sure that if she strained her ear, amdist the sounds of the waves she could hear his heart pounding in his chest as his mind wandered to what might lie ahead of them.

***

Standing in front of his house, limping a little and clasping his girlfriend's hand tight, Reiner came to the realization that he really hadn't thought this through. With a quick glance to her left arm, he realized her lack of armband said one of two things, one of which was an impossibility, the other punishable by crime---an unfavorable position eitherways, and one he knew his mother would be quick to notice. Picking up on his sudden discomfort and hesitance to knock on the door, his lover turned to frown at him, "What's wrong, Reiner?"

Shaking it off because he didn't want to concern her when she had more than enough to worry about, he shook his head, giving her a small smile and a peck on the lips to momentarily satiate her, "'s nothing. Don't sweat it."

The words directed towards himself too and not just her, he gathered all his nerves and rapped his knuckles against the wood, waiting to greet his mother with the happiest expression he could muster. The woman in front of him looked as though she'd been worn down by the years, to the extent that he almost couldn't recognize her. But they were still the same kind eyes that had tried to comfort him when he was a young child who was confused as to why he was the only one among his peers without a father, and her lavender shawl was the same tattered one he'd clutched years ago when he couldn't sleep at night.

"Reiner?" she breathed, tearing up at the sight of her son who now towered over her, "You're back?"

With a small hum, he gave her his warmest smile. As she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her chest, she let loose a few sobs in his shoulder, missing the warmth of the child that had been taken from her years ago. As much as a part of him loathed her for bribing him with a dream that would never come true, Reiner couldn't help but blink his tears away. Before he could even register the hug, she'd pulled away, eyeing the girl standing awkwardly but politely behind them.

"Is that one of your warrior friends?" she enthused, tugging her inside with a curious twinkle in her glossy eyes, "Or... someone special to you?"

"Let's not rush things," he patted her back gently, a weak smile on his face as he stood between them, "But yeah, she's my girlfriend. She's not a warrior though."

With a frown, she glanced at her arm, "You should be careful. We might be in the internment zone, but the laws are strict and you still have to wear your armband at all times," her tone wasn't unkind though, and she ushered them to the living room while she began to peel some oranges for them by the sink, "You don't know where the guards are lurking." Nervously, the young couple glanced at each other, remaining silent, and as she turned to see them fidgeting like that, his mother's eyes widened while she balanced the plate of fruit between her hands, "Don't tell me... Reiner?! Have you forgotten what happened because your father was Marleyan?!"

Curling his fists against his pants, he shook his head, "No, I haven't, I---mother, that's not it, she's not from..."

Drifting off, his mother's scowl only grew, and her feet remained rooted to the spot, her grip on the plate steely, "How long have you been together?" she asked through gritted teeth.

If he could curl into a ball out of shame, he would've, but all he could do was stare at his lap, "A year. Give or take."

Crash!

"Mother!" Reiner cried out, stumbling over the carpet as he tried to hurry and clean the remains of the glass dish on the floor, but the old woman made no move, shaking out of fury and pure, unadulterated rage as she gave the girl on the couch a glare that could've shredded her to pieces.

Her silence was eery enough as it is, and the clinking as Reiner carefully picked up the largest glass pieces only made it more unnerving. No one dared breathe loudly, his girlfriend almost statuesque as she still remained silent, knowing that she'd only probably make things worse if she spoke.

"You've... you've brought a devil into my house."

Eyes softening, he dropped everything, trying to cross the damage to make his way over to the woman who'd brought him into this life, "No, she's not... listen, it's a long story---"

"Reiner!" she yelled his name, face growing red as horror struck her, "Her people are the reason why we live in fear, why your father left," gnashing her teeth, she stomped her foot down, flames flickering in the eyes he'd grown up beside, "She's the spawn of Satan himself, the reason why humans were at risk of extinction, and she's filthied our house with her bloody hands!"

"Mother, she's never hurt anyone," he tried to reach out for her, only to have her jerk away from him, a pang resonating in his heart, "Please, I know it's difficult to believe, but I love her, and she loves me."

Snarling at him, she touched her chest, "What would you know about love, Reiner? When was the last time you've witnessed that emotion, when all you've ever had was me?"

"I know enough, I'm not a child anymore," he began to raise his voice, though it didn't seem like he noticed it, "You don't get a choice eitherways, she's here to stay with me."

"What good could ever come from someone like... like that?" she groaned, disgust lacing her voice, "It's like you're trying to ruin what you've built by associating yourself with that wretched devil."

"She's carrying my child."

The middle-aged woman froze in place, unblinking at his deadpan expression. It didn't seem like she fully processed his words, and it took her a couple of seconds to speak, "Pardon?"

Locking his jaw, Reiner backpedalled to rest a firm hand against his girlfriend's shoulder, partially to affirm his statement, partially to steady her shivering form, and partially to ground his own self, "She's pregnant now."

When his mother spoke again, the bitterness wasn't held back from her words, "So you've knocked up a whore."

"Excuse me?" in an offended tone, the girl finally spoke up, a scowl set deeply on her face, "I'm not some common hussy you speak of like that."

"I'll call you whatever I want, scum," his mother spat out, looking down on her as she sneered, "Spreading your legs for any man that comes near you, I bet that's what lowlifes like you do."

Livid, she tried her best to maintain her voice leveled, "Ma'am, I've never even been near another man aside from your son---"

"And that was enough for you to get pregnant with that demon child as soon as you saw him, like the animal you are," Karina scoffed, venom in her eyes as she slammed her hand down the small table to her left, "Terminate it."

"What?" the girl hissed, eyes narrowed, about to get up, had Reiner's grip on her shoulder not tightened to get her to remain seated, "You don't get a say in that---"

"That's my child, mother," Reiner's voice was colder than she'd ever heard, and it was honestly rather surprising to both parties that they shut up for a moment, "Are you aware of what you're saying?"

"See some sense, child, she's just using you as a ticket to leave the island," she sounded exasperated as she pointed at the girl protectively touching her belly, "That wretched slut only ever wanted to be tied down to you."

"I'm the one who dragged her into this, and frankly, while I don't want to discuss my intimate matters with you, trust me, she's far from being the one who was the reason behind the pregnancy," crossing his arms, Reiner gave her a challenging glare that he never dreamt he'd give his mother.

As she gaped at him, she tried to reason, "That's my grandchild, who'll carry the family name! If their mother is that bitch, then I don't want them."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Reiner grumbled, "When are you going to realize that you can't live your life through me? I'm capable of making my own goddamn choices."

"She's even turning you against your own mother, you never would've cursed at me---"

"Because I was a cowardly 12 year-old when I left!" the blonde raised his voice, frustration evident in his voice as he tried his best not to go overboard and end up yelling at the woman who, at the end of the day, had raised him, "I hope you'll come to your senses someday, but until then, we're going somewhere where we could take care of our child," turning to gently pull up his girlfriend, he mumbled under his breath on their way out, completely ignoring his livid mother, "I should've known better than to come here."

Doing his best not to slam the door behind them, he let out a heavy breath of air, slumping his shoulders and instantly wrapping his arm around the girl's waist, pulling her back into his chest as he squeezed her tight. Breathing softly into her neck, she held him back just as firmly, as though leaning back on him for strength just as he stabilized himself. The comforting embrace lasted a couple of minutes, before he unwrapped his arms from around her, rubbing her stomach comfortingly.

Before they could take any steps forward, a small body plowed into Reiner's side with a yell of his name, with more force than he'd anticipated, causing him to nearly lose his footing in surprise.

"Gabi?" he grinned, picking her up, earning an excited nod and equally enthusiastic laugh, and he couldn't help but hug her close, "You've grown so much, holy crap. How old are you now?"

"Eight!" she proudly said, puffing her chest and pointing one thumb towards her self while the other arm clung to his neck, "And just so you know, it's only a matter of time before I'm the second Braun to inherit the armored titan," she sounded so smug, before turning her head and finally noticing the girl, "Hey, who's she?"

"Gabi, it's rude to point," he sighed exasperatedly, already feeling how heavy she'd grown in his arms, "Anyways, she's my girlfriend."

Hopping off, the brunette leaned in close so she could inspect the young woman, "Woah, you're beautiful! How did Reiner ever date you?"

With a laugh, she replied, "He did get quite lucky, yeah."

"You haven't seen your cousin in five years and here you are ganging up against him," he shook his head, "Where are your parents?"

Gabi waved behind them, and he turned with a look of surprise to find his uncle and his wife standing together with kind smiles. Greeting them with quick hugs that didn't express half of how he felt and how much he'd missed being home, he wondered how long it would be before his happiness would be shattered.

"Say, who's the lovely young lady beside you?" his uncle asked, "She looks rather taken by you, if I'm not mistaken."

Awkwardly laughing, Reiner rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, we're together."

"How long have you guys been---"

Before he could begin to anxiously sweat profusely, a hand clapped down on his shoulder, startling him and cutting the conversation off (much to his relief).

"I've been looking for you two all over," the soft voice he'd been fretting about not hearing ever again was comforting to finally hear.

"Bertholdt, you're alright," he breathed, wrapping an arm around the shoulder of his best friend, "When were you released?"

"I left the hospital this morning," he jerked his thumb in the direction outside the gates, "I got word from HQ that they want all warriors gathered at 4 PM, said it was important," he turned to the pregnant girl, lowering his voice and his eyes growing softer, "Think you can blend in?"

After a moment of thinking, she nodded, "Yeah, no big deal. I'll stay in the yard."

"Good, c'mon," with a wave towards his friend's extended family, Bertholdt practically dragged the couple away from any more prying questions.

***

The meeting had proven to be quite useful, considering that without it they wouldn't have been able to stay in Liberio. Once at HQ, the top brass had discussed their funding and salaries, granting the returned warriors the choice to receive hard cash or lodging instead. After much consideration and discussion with his beloved, it was only logical to pick a standard two-bedroom house to live in, instead of splurging on a mansion that was neither practical nor necessary---especially considering that since there were no urgent missions for the next while, he'd have no regular income of money---so that he could stash away the remaining cash portion for use in their daily lives, until they could find a better alternative. As of now, his girlfriend was heavily pregnant and found it difficult to go anywhere without waddling like a penguin. Her walk had earned them several stares as they made their way to visit his old house---or at the very least, attempt to. So far they'd tried knocking on the door once a month, and every time a venomous reply had been thrown their way after the door had been cracked open.

"Mother, how long do you intend to keep this up," Reiner sighed exasperatedly, "All we want is to talk to you."

"The baby is healthy," his lover spoke quietly as she touched her stomach, the baby kicking as though knowing they were talking about them, "In case you were wondering."

A moment of silence, before---

"To hell with it."

Another sigh of defeat, and then they were on their way back home again, bumping into Zeke who'd only just made it out of his grandparents' house.

"Difficulty getting through again?" he gave them a sympathetic smile, "C'mon, why the long faces? It's not the last chance you'll get to try and make amends."

Frustrated, the teenager ran his fingers through his hair, "Thing is, we shouldn't have been discussing things in the first place. It's my child, and I'm the one who knocked her up."

Rolling her eyes, the girl punched his arm, "You could've phrased it differently."

With a quick apology, he bent down to kiss her lips chastely, blushing at the way the wonder boy smirked at them knowingly.

"See, this is how she ended up pregnant in the first place."

"Zeke!"

As they strolled back home, Reiner found himself lost in thought, feet kicking up the gravel absent-mindedly. He must've spaced out completely, because his lover was soon nudging him.

"You okay, love?"

A little startled, his eyes went wide, before he nodded, settling into a more comfortable walking pace. They lapsed into silence for a couple of minutes as they trekked the path to their home, until he found the courage to speak up again and spill what was on his mind and had been taking up his thoughts for the past God-knows-how-long.

"Have you... thought about us taking our relationship further?" his voice was quiet when he asked the question tentatively.

Chuckling, she took his large hands in hers, "Honestly, how much further can we go when we're already having a child together that might pop out any day now?"

Cracking a smile, he patted her head, "Finally, we'll get to see them," his hand lingered on her hair, "But no, that's not I meant. I meant us, as a couple, without a third party."

"You mean... marriage?" she softly questioned, and he could only nod with burning red cheeks, "Well, I'd be lying if I said I haven't. You're too charming sometimes."

"Flatterer," he coughed, "You just want a foot massage at home."

"That too," cheerily admitting it, she gave him a breathtaking smile that instantly disarmed him and had his heart fluttering in his ribcage, "No, but seriously, I know we're young and all, but it's not like we've got the luxury of time either."

Reiner had tried multiple times to forget that he didn't have that many years ahead of him, not wanting to put them through the hurt of thinking of something tragic like that, but she handled the topic surprising well, even broaching it herself. She never failed to surprise him. She went on to say, "Being with you forever... isn't that the thing I've wanted from the start? And if I can't have forever, then all the time I can borrow works for me too," staring at the sky that held the airships she'd never seen before, she looked so peaceful; so beautiful to him, "Carrying your last name is only one final confirmation."

His voice was low and thick with emotion when he spoke again, hazel eyes a few shades darker as his gaze intensified, "Have I ever told you how absolutely head over heels I am for you?"

With a flirty wink, she grinned, "Might wanna remind me when we're inside, then, future husband."

***

"He's fussing again," she groaned, the baby swaddled in the blanket crying as he kicked about, pulling him closer to her chest in a vain attempt to pacify him with her familiar scent. Chuckling, Reiner leaned down to look at his son's red face, "What did you expect, he's only two months old and this is his first proper outing," tenderly, he stroked his tear-stained cheeks with two of his knuckles, "Mother used to tell me that I was a restless baby too."

"He's a carbon copy of you already, imagine being as annoying as you are too," she grumbled, causing him to playfully glare at her, before his son distracted him again.

"Look at him," he mused, a happy sigh escaping him without even noticing it had, brushing his little blond locks with his fingertips, "He's so small." With a snort, she playfully elbowed him, "You're the one who's too big. He's the perfect size for holding."

"Never thought we'd be parents at the age of 18, honestly," he hummed, holding his arms out as a silent invitation to pass his wriggling son to him, "But I'm glad it happened." As Reiner began to hush him and rock him gently, she looked on in awe as he began to settle down in his arms, as though his father's presence alone was enough to ease his nerves.

"I carry him for nine months, and he still ends up being a daddy's boy?" she huffed in pretend-annoyance.

With a smirk, he quipped back, "Guess he likes your husband more. Can't blame him, really, neither of you can resist me."

At the mention of it, she subconsciously touched her ring finger, "Still can't believe we're married now," she spoke, wonder in her voice, a blissful sigh escaping her, "It's so nice, though, living in our own little world."

"Wouldn't have happened without Porco, though," Reiner said, voice lowered so as not to disturb his resting baby boy, "Who knew his father was an officiator?"

"It's not just that," she shook her head as she leaned her head against Reiner's sturdy shoulder, watching the rhythmic breathing of the child in his arms, "Porco must've gone through a hell lot of crap trying to cover up the fact that I'm not from here. He must've fabricated lots documents and government papers, and that can't have had no risks."

His tone dark, Reiner added, "Especially since he isn't too fond of me, and especially since it's important to have a clean record as a warrior."

Wrapping her arm around his shoulder, she pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, and Reiner felt something stirring inside him at the sweet intimacy, "He's a good kid."

"My memories of him aren't the best, but I'm willing to look past that after the huge favor he did us," Reiner admitted, before turning his head with a hopeful look in his eyes, "So? Wanna give it a try?" Nodding, she exhaled sharply, "How many times have we gotten kicked off your mother's doorstep, now?"

"15 times, this'll be the 16th," he rolled his eyes, "How stubborn can one woman get, really." Arching her eyebrow, his wife gave him a pointed look, "The pot calling the kettle black?"

"You sure pick up idioms fast," he grumbled, looking away to knock on the door for what felt like the hundredth time since his arrival to Marley. Before she could quip back a smart reply, the door swung open, revealing his scowling mother, giving them a mild look of offense for having them step in front of her.

"What do you want?" she barked, impatient as always.

"We just thought you might want to see him," the young mother stiffly said, clearly not wanting to interact much with the woman who'd called her every insult under the sun. Skeptical, Karina eyed the child from afar, and Reiner could swear her eyes almost instantly shifted to something akin to longing. "He looks... a lot like you did back then," she croaked out, voice thick, before she blinked twice, as though trying to stop herself from drifting away from the plan she'd originally had.

Reiner had the sudden epiphany that she probably had an innate desire to see her only grandchild, but her deeply ingrained morals denied her of the pleasure. Knowing that she'd never voice her wishes out loud, he decided he'd be the one extending the olive branch---if not for his sake, then for his son's sake, so as not to deprive him of the happiness a grandparent's presence brought. "Want to hold him?" he offered, waiting for the nod that only came a minute later.

Still on the doorstep of the house he'd grown up in, he carefully began to lift his arms, cooing his name and ready to snuggle his son into the arms of the only person who'd made him feel safe and loved as a child. The baby only whimpered twice at the change of surroundings, before he surprised them all by clutching at his grandmother's shirt with his tiny fists as soon as he settled down against her chest. Breath hitching, Karina didn't move a muscle as the boy's chest rose and fell rhythmically with every rock of her arms.

She breathed his name out, and it was like a magic spell had been cast and blanketed the entryway, her eyes glimmering with what could easily be taken for tears. In that very moment, every single person in the room knew that everything had changed; that nothing would ever be the same again.

Even if it took them a million baby steps to maintain a sense of normalcy in this dysfunctional family, the new parents both knew---with absolute certainty---that they would wait however long was needed to ensure that their boy grew up, loved and beloved by every person that had a string of fate tied to his pudgy index finger---they had more than enough love to share between them, and they were sure that he'd ensnare the hearts of every person he crossed, given time. After all, he was a miracle child, born of abnormal circumstances; they'd be damned if they didn't give him the entire world and more.

Taglist: @blondeboyfriend

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sequinsmile-x · 3 years ago

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i totally forgot to send some requests so… i’m going to send two of the ones i find the most interesting and you can either place them together in one or do them separately? Also if you have other requests similar, maybe crash them all together? 😘

“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?” really keen to see where you would take this, as neither of them in canon have an addiction.

“Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?” cute. adorable. soft. but also so angsty.

Hi anon!! <3

I hope you like the direction I went with this one, and your second request there has already been posted as a one shot :)

This is set in 'Roadkill' and takes some liberties with canon.

-x-

Words: 983

Warnings: Mentions of canon typical violence/injuries

She doesn’t speak to him on the flight home. She barely looks at him, purposely sitting away from him on the jet, instead of her usual spot right by his side.

They were usually a bit more relaxed on the jet, borrowing strength from each other if they needed it. Hands tangled together and her head against his shoulder, small pieces of comfort they could give each other until they got home, able to find peace in their apartment.

She was furious at him, he could see it simmering beneath her skin. The way her jaw was clenched, her eyes fixed as she started out the jet window, focused on the inky darkness as if she could find an answer to an unasked question out there.

He’d scared her, he knew that. He’d seen the look on her face when he limped back into the precinct with Derek, her carefully constructed mask briefly slipping as she took in the cuts on his face, the way he was holding himself. When Derek told the rest of the team what happened, how Aaron had purposely crashed the car he was in, Emily’s eyes were fixed on him. Stern in a way she rarely directed towards her boyfriend.

She’s still ignoring him when they get home, the sound of their front door closing abnormally loud, the only noise in the apartment. She dumps her stuff by the door, immediately making her way to the stairs. “I’m going to go to bed.” She says, her voice tight. “You should have a hot bath or something, for your ribs. I can run one for you.”

Aaron feels affection. for her unfurl in his chest, her need to take care of him despite her, clear, overwhelming anger towards him making him fall even more in love with her.

“I’m ok. I’m just going to do some paperwork.” He says, placing his briefcase down on the kitchen counter, pulling a casefile out of it. He doesn’t miss the flash of something across her face when she sees Foyet’s picture on the outside, his name scrawled on the front of the file.

She scoffs. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She shakes her head at him, her arms crossed tight over her chest. “Hasn’t this…addiction done enough damage already? I know you think it’s your fault he got away, even though it isn’t, but it’s making you reckless. You never would have done what you did today before Boston.”

“I couldn’t let Coakley hurt someone else, Em.” He says frowning, reaching out for her and putting the file down, and she steps backwards, shaking her head at him. “Sweetheart.”

“You cannot touch me, because if you do I’ll stop being angry at you. And I need to be angry right now.” She seethes, shaking her head at him. “Of all the stupid things to do Aaron. You purposely crashed your car.”

“To save someone's life.”

“At the risk of yours.” She shouts, she blows out a breath. “What about me? About your son? You could have been killed. What would I have done if you had?” Her eyes are shining at him and it hurts more than the pain in his chest, his ribs bruised from the force of the accident. “What would I do if I lost you, Aaron?” He just stares at her, not saying anything, and she shakes her head. “I’ll go run your bath.”

She makes it to the bedroom before she starts to cry, taking a seat on their bed for a moment to gather herself, grateful for her first moment alone since she’d seen him walk back into the precinct, pain clear in every step. She was so angry at him, at the way in which he disregarded his own safety, risking himself again and again for her, for the team and victims alike. Like losing him would do anything less than destroy her, tear apart the very parts of her that he had put back together.

“Em.”

She looks up and he’s standing in the doorway, a hand pressed to his ribs, the first time he’d done anything to acknowledge the bruises she knew would lay underneath his clothes. She looks back at her hands in her lap, her nails digging into her cuticles.

“Why did you do it?”

He sits next to her, grateful she doesn’t flinch away from him this time. “I’m sorry I scared you, love.” He says softly, putting his hand over hers on her thigh. “I acted impulsively, I know that. But it was the only way to stop him.”

She covers his hand with hers, interlinking their fingers. “I’m so worried I’m going to lose you to this.” She says, her voice the calmest it had been since they got home. “Whether it’s to Foyet himself or something like this.”

Aaron hugs her, ignoring the pull in his ribs as she fiercely embraces him back. “You won’t lose me, sweetheart.”

“You can’t promise that.” She murmurs into his shoulder.

“No, I can’t.” He replies, pulling back and smiling sadly at her. “But I’ll do my best.”

“I guess that's all I can ask for.” She says, her fingers trailing over the cuts on his face, fear overtaking her expression again. “You must be in pain.”

“I’m fine-” he starts to placate her, but knows it is not the time, so he smiles at her, and reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear, wincing slightly at the movement, “you said something about a bath?” he says, a smile on his face as he distracts her, her own smile coming back, her teeth sinking into her lower lip.

“I’ll run it for you.” She says, raising an eyebrow at him. “I might have to get into it with you too, make sure you don’t do something stupid like drown.”

Aaron chuckles and kisses her forehead. “Sounds perfect.”

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss fanfic #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction

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novelist-becca · 4 years ago

Text

TOH Fanfic recs! Part 1

(All of these people are my inspiration I stg)

Found family

Make my heart your home series by @tiredandjaded

First fic: Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and they both have a crisis over it. Mostly Luz. Second fic: post-YBOS, Luz tells Eda and Lilith of what happened during the rescue mission, and both Luz and Eda give Lilith a shovel talk. Third fic: Luz and Eda are both taking care of each other in the first seven days after coming home. Includes fun sibling bonding!

(Patiently awaiting the next chapter of the third installment!)

Literally anything by @hereforthehurts

The way they write emotions and hurt/comfort is seriously amazing. Never fails to make me cry, especially when it comes to sickfics and fics of Eda and Luz. (I recommend supporting them on Ko-Fi!)

You Are My Sunshine by @liesminelli

One of the first Owl House fics I ever read, and it's SO good! Luz has a night terror and Eda walks in on her freaking out, and it goes from there. The emotions of both characters are very well-written, and the ending is so sweet! I also recommend checking out their other works too!

It's The Least I Could Do by @witchesbeforewizardss

There aren't enough fics of Luz and Lilith bonding, and this is one of the BEST ones. Lilith needs more healthy relationships, and in my opinion, building an aunt-niece relationship with Luz is a great place to start! (next to making amends with Eda) Basically, Luz is feeling homesick, and before dinner, she allows Lilith to help her feel better.

Luz's Not So Great Luck and

A Friendly Beastly Surprise by @animerunner

The first fic has a large abundance of angsty scenarios, mostly AUs, all of which are wonderful to read. My personal favorite is the one where Luz is an orphan and she has a chronic illness, and well, you'll have to read to find out! The second one is canon compliant, and it's about Eda turning into the Owl Beast and treating Luz like an owlet, and Luz is just like "guess this is my life now". It's so cute!

Rainy Day Makeovers by @fallenflowersfromgrace

To summarize, There's boiling rain, and Luz convinces Eda to spend time with her giving each other makeovers. It's very cute, and I love it!

Some Honesty Before Breakfast by @pizzaboat

Eda notices Luz is acting unusual, and gets her to open up. It's in-character, and wonderfully executed.

Thank you for being in my life by @peridot-garcia

Episodes of The Owl House from Eda's perspective, and as of now, also Luz and Lilith's perspective. It's got wonderful found family scenarios, and so far the plot is pretty great!

Lighting up the Dark by The_Quoter

This is a very recent one, and I love it! It's post-Young Blood Old Souls, and Eda comes to terms with how much Luz means to her, while also helping her come out of a nightmare.

The Light Behind Your Eyes by ABirdinFlight

Post-Young Blood. Eda gives Lilith a shovel-talk (harsh but well-deserved) and has a heart-to-heart talk with Luz in her room.

Moonlit Masquerade: Replacement by Rohad

Similar to make my heart your home, Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and both of them have a crisis over it. (As expected!)

Bad Days by @drabbles-of-writing

Part of their Four Years AU, Luz has an episode, and Eda takes her home to help her calm down. It's very bittersweet and heartfelt.

Gratuitous Embellishments of Chicken Noodle Soup by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails

Luz almost drowns at the Knee, but her Owl Mom is there to help her get better, including making her soup! (Yeah, my fic Snow Day was inspired by this)

A Line Crossed by Clevinger

AU in which Luz dies by the spikes at the bridge, in front of Eda, who thankfully resurrects her, and as expected, Luz is having a hard time handling it. There's another work inspired by it called Too Much, Too Late by TheHonestyBird.

A nightmare and a hug by moreteaplease

Reeaaally hard to find since it doesn't have the relationship tag for Luz and Eda, but still, it's very good! Post-YBOS, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort, confessing that she misses her mom.

Sleepless Nights by @snail-watch

Similar to the one before this, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort. I loved the way the author wrote Eda's thoughts about Luz!

Mending Trust by @electricwalkman

Similar to The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and Luz tells her about the portal being destroyed, and gives her the mask piece. Eda comforts her, as well.

Night Owl and

The Bad Dream Club by @thedrunkenwerewolf / @wolfiethewriter

Eda has trouble sleeping, Luz notices, and Eda confessed that she's scared of hurting Luz as the beast. Luz of course, reassures her by telling her it won't happen. The second fic is the other way around, sorta. Luz has a nightmare and gets herself a drink to calm down, and Eda finds her.

Dreams of a Witch by TheDinosaurNerd

Eda talks to her younger self in her mindscape about her life as a wild witch. (In the end it turns out to be Luz in her lap.)

Griffon Flu by @serendipitouslyss

Another great sickfic! Luz gets the flu, or Griffon Flu as it's called in the Boiling Isles, but Eda and King are more than willing to help her get better.

Owlet by spotty8bee

Ah, the cursed AU that started it all. Only 2 chapters, but it's wonderfully heartbreaking and you really feel for Eda in the second half of chapter 1.

Observations of the Witchy Kind by JoLau

If you like platonic cuddling, you'll love this fic! Luz wants to learn about witch biology, but unfortunately Boscha burns the notebook that had her research, so she tries to rewrite her observations, and ends up catching Eda's attention.

I Need You, Please Don't Leave Me by rainbowpotato12

Luz is having bad thoughts, and worries that something bad could happen to Eda again, but Eda reassures her it won't.

This is Home by SpaghettieBabie

Luz has doubts about herself, and opens up to Eda about it, confessing that she likes her as her mother figure.

I Love the Found Family Trope! by @l-egionaire

Takes place after The Intruder. Eda thinks that Luz and King might leave her after knowing about the curse, and they tell her they would never do that.

Nightmare by OneandOnlyOllie

Another nightmare fic! Eda comforts Luz after a nightmare. Lilith hears the two, and wants to make things right with Luz.

It was not, in fact, a day out by @pizzaboat

Post-YBOS. Eda turns into the Owl Beast, tries to cuddle Luz, Lilith and King in her nest, and they have to come up with a working scheme to turn her back. Basically The Intruder if Lilith was there.

A broken brain by @pizzaboat

I can relate to this one a lot (except my adhd is diagnosed). Luz has trouble focusing on homework, and doesn't know why, and tells Eda she thinks she's going crazy, but Eda tells her she's not, and that Lilith had a similar problem.

What big claws (to protect you with my dear) by @ito-itonomen

AU where Luz is 10 and Eda takes her in, and both of them have doubts about themselves. Chapter 2 is especially good.

Unexpected Hope by @sepublic

Luz talks to Lilith about how she had (surprisingly) inspired her.

Lilith and Eda

Mistakes Might Have Been Made by @fallenflowersfromgrace

WARNING: you will definitely cry in the second chapter!

An AU in which Lilith split the curse with Eda the first time she transformed. Of course, by the time she reveals that she cursed her, it doesn't go well. (Eda's reaction hurts, but it's in character) and the pain in chapter 2 is just…AGONY AND ITS SO GOOD!

Walk Through the Storm, I Would by @lilithswxfe

Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts in this fic.

Lilith tries to hurt herself while in a bad state, but Eda catches her and comforts her.

Source Decay series by @tiredandjaded

Trigger warning for underage drinking in the second fic.

Two pre-canon fics about Lilith and Eda, the first fic portraying Eda as trans and how she's feeling about her name, and how Lilith helps her. The second one is sadder, it's after the curse and Eda isn't taking Lilith coming home late very well, leading to some…not-so-great coping mechanisms.

Rabbit Heart by radiantstaber

It has found family Owl Mom moments, but then it is mostly about Lilith and Eda rebuilding their relationship, with Luz trying her best to encourage both of them. (The description is very funny, describing the Owl House as a get along shirt.)

The Cafeteria Incident by @electricwalkman

Remember that page from Eda's record about Eda summoning abominations because somebody stole Lilith's lunch money? This is based on that, and it's SO GOOD!

Runaway Raven by @witchesbeforewizardss

Trigger warning for graphic injuries

In both Lilith thinks she doesn't belong with her family in the Owl House, and tries to "punish" herself. Eda convinces her that it's not worth it and she just wants her sister back.

The Long Night by @serendipitouslyss

Post-YBOS, just like The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and she and Lilith have a long talk. (Though she's not as harsh.)

A Midnight Talk by @elizabethemerald

Lilith sees Luz having a nightmare, and calms her down for a little bit (via stroking her hair). Eda sees her, and the two have a talk.

I Need a Moment to Quiet This Pain by @come-unhinged

Moments in Eda's life and how she dealt with her curse.

Part 2 might have Lumity idk

#long post #fanfic recommendation #fanfic #fanfiction #fic recs #the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house fanfiction #found family #Luz noceda #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #Lilith clawthorne #Clawthorne sisters #eda the owl lady #eda the owl mom #mom Eda

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