#possibly very triggering
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strongly dislike the idea that harry would become an auror after the war. give the boy a break. he deserves to live in a little cabin in complete isolation for a few years to discover himself
#he only fought voldemort and saved the wizarding world because he had to#because he was groomed to#not because he wanted to#do i think he possibly could have started auror training because thats what was expected of him?#yeah sure#do i think it would then immediately trigger ptsd and his friends urge him to quit?#very much so#give him a break to get to know himself#he shouldn't have to fight anymore#harry potter#hjp#harry james potter
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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The way people are complaining that jinx isn’t the same character this season because she’s “sane” (aka not actively having an episode of psychosis, even though she literally did experience a hallucination when seeing vi with the enforcers), is strange.
also I find it strange that people talk about jinx and powder as if they’re separate people. they aren’t. jinx is powder, grown up and traumatized and mentally ill. like i completely understand that jinx likely struggles to realize this, because extremes are often the stable of bpd and she shows all the signs, and well—a personality disorder is a personality disorder.
but no jinx did not kill powder and taint her memory. powder is not gone. jinx can not exist without powder, and vice versa—because they are eachother. that’s what vi needs to realize and accept as well—her sister is not gone.
her sister just grew up and changed and is traumatized and mentally ill. it’s impossible for jinx to kill powder, or for powder to “come back,” the exact same she was. vi could never have powder back because the powder vi remembers was a scared, helpless little girl who depended on her for almost everything. powder was never going to remain that way forever—not if she wanted to survive.
powder has grown up and changed without her. that was always going to happen, it happens to everyone. if nothing happened as it did, their family was still alive, vi was never thrown in jail and powder never taken in by silco; powder still would’ve changed, somehow, someway. She’d likely still just be going by powder rather than jinx.
#houndshowlings#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#psychosis is not a constant thing.#the reason she’s different from how she was in s1#is because we literally meet jinx when she’s in the throes of and being reminded of her trauma.#s1 one was basically just a giant snowballing episode for jinx.#of psychosis and trauma and confusion and fear.#especially once she was injected with shimmer and hallucinated that vi and cait were hurting her.#only to be faced with the possibility of abandonment and betrayal from silco.#something she very clearly subconsciously feared for awhile.#that silco would abandon her.#people are leaning way too far into the idea that jinx is the evil insane side#and powder the innocent good side#it’s what leads some people to believe that jinx genuinely hates violet and doesn’t have any love for her.#when in fact if that were the case#vi’s choice to become an enforcer wouldn’t have triggered a full on sobbing breakdown from jinx.#it’s clearly a huge betrayal to jinx that vi did that and hunted her down to their childhood spot & took claggors goggles.#that wouldn’t have effected jinx if she and powder were truly different.#not to mention#when vi the enforcer picked up claggors goggles was when jinx pointed the gun at her.#suggesting that jinx still feels highly protective of her brother and his things.#or at least things that remind her of him.#arcane season 2#arcane#arcane powder#arcane jinx#arcane vi#arcane violet#arcane claggor
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made the mistake of deciding to start watching dandadan for the first time with little to no context when i was a little too high. i guess i thought it'd be like soul eater maybe
hey wh. what the fuck
had to go back and rewatch it sober because what. the fuck just happened. hey what was that
#specifically the first episode#the serpos???? bananas???#i. felt like i was hallucinating#ngl though it's genuinely a very good anime#and presumably a very good manga as well#dandadan#turbo granny#the end of the first episode slapped tho#plot is two normal high school kids accidentally trigger the most traumatizing series of events possible#momo is the coolest person in the world
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Managed to get a clip of Curly's screaming when you cut his leg off, because I wanted to. Warning for.. screaming, of course. I wanted to see If I could try and pinpoint his voice a bit, since Wrongorgan said in a Q.A That he was going to be british, and that you could probably still hear some of it. I wanted to study this, and I'm going to be studying every little thing about this game from now on it seems.
Its very hard to hear a lot of the noise Curly makes due to his condition or the game purposefully submerging it in other noises.Anyways, you can faintly hear him sobbing, and the more I listened to it the more i think about how difficult it would have been for him to make any noise at all, and yet all he could do was cry and scream, there were no words, only guttural noises. I'm going to think about this for a long time.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#audio#loud warning#loud warning tw#screaming in pain of course#this man doesnt catch a fucking break dude#tw loud screaming#VERY LOUD#could be possibly triggering so heed my warnings
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"A servant from the heavens above... Are you an angel?"
Even now I still don't know if I am articulating this right, but as I mentioned in a previous upload, I like to think about Volnutt being more than "just a Carbon". So here are some doodles of Trigger, the design is referenced from fellow user Sato and his work here.
Whether or not someone personally chooses to separate these two names/lives, I think the fact they're connected seems so cool.
This still doesn't make any sense does it? (; v; )
#so there we go that's my off-shot take#“boy what are you??” he is volnutt. which is ?????? :)#if anything just understand I think that's super cool as always ^^#and of course please check out the other user's art there#I like to give credit where credit is due#and I honestly would never have thought to consider trigger looking possibly like that (unlike everyone else who also thought so)#as you can see I am Very Smart in this sub series#doodle-daas#megaman legends#rockman dash#rock volnutt#megaman trigger#that said I think I'll take it easy from him for now because every time I draw him my head hurts (it's not your fault my boy ;; )
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Wait cricket has 14? Uh I thought she was far younger like 8 or 9 and thats why my mc treated her like a little sassy child
You're valid!! I can see how could not be terribly clear in the parts where MC meets her so far in the story...but yeah, she's a teenager. It will definitely be clearer in her appearance next chapter, and I can look at what I've got to see if I can make it more obvious with what I've written <3
#asks#cricket#i thought i described her as a teenager but it's very possible I just wrote she's a kid lmao#I'll have to take a look#but yeah cricket and her friends are there#to put the 'teen' in all of the 'teen death' trigger warnings#and to make everyone's lives harder#love those kids
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I would like to rant about motherhood and the awful things about it, read more bar is there if you don’t want to read it or engage with my rant. I don’t blame you if you want nothing to do with it, it’s more for me anyway lol
Never in my life have I ever felt so lonely and so depressed, just genuinely, at the core sad and alone.
I have people in my life, but I don’t have a village. My village is in shambles. It’s full of people who like to ask how I am, but don’t like to hear that I’m not well. The people I’ve reached out to got angry at me for reaching out, so I’ve just stopped reaching out. “I’m fine.” The people who have helped me with the girls fuck it up every fucking time, don’t listen to me or my wishes or my open anxieties. So, not only do I not share how I’m actually doing, now I don’t call on people to help me because it isn’t worth the trouble of them fucking up my children’s day-to-day life and schedule.
It’s impossible to not feel like a burden to others when their lives are unaffected, when they aren’t drowning like I am, when every aspect of their life hasn’t been greatly altered and twisted. I am not the same person I once was and I’ll never go back to her. I don’t know how to dress, I don’t know how to interact with people, I don’t know what my hobbies are. It’s hard to not feel like a bother when I’ve been this sad for this long.
No one understands if they haven’t done this before, if they haven’t become a mother. I understand what mothers before me were talking about when they told me motherhood is lonely. This is an experience that is so specific and can only be understood if you have experienced it. Another reason I don’t confide in others in my life— they don’t understand.
I’m so tired of the empty, “I’m sorry”s. I’m so tired of waking up and living the same day over and over. I’m so tired of my husband’s life being virtually unaffected by the birth of our girls while mine is so genuinely fucked up now.
I’m just so tired and so lonely and so sad.
And now Husband leaves in a week to start a new job three hours away and I’ll be staying here with the girls. Even more alone.
#personal#very personal#PPD#postpartum#yes I’m in therapy lol#thank god#yesterday and today have just been so hard#and it’s arguably been triggering lol#thanks for reading if you did#this shit is no joke#do not have children unless you’re ready to be as selfless as you possible can be#I’m so serious#parenthood is not for the weak#to be CONSTANTLY needed at every point of the day is going to force me into psychosis
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.
Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.
How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!
#this is so incoherant#I'm also thinking about how Marisol fits into this narrative and how this idea of being taken in or fooled by a person plays into what we#know of her - how she wasn't upfront with Eddie (not saying she had to be right from the off but before moving in!!!) - how she is kind of#representative of secrets - especially around faith and ones connection with faith because she is essentially a stand in for catholicism#which (sorry to all the catholics out there) peddles in magic and secrets in order to keep the mystery of faith alive and therefore keep#people believing. How Eddie's reckoning with himself and the ghost of Shannon ultimately means choosing either to follow the path of#catholicism or non catholicism#How Marisol is a tie to religion and therefore his reasons for not having successful relationships after her (or even with her) and how#Eddie letting go will ultimately mean letting go of Marisol - how he can never fully move forward while catholicism still lingers#how I don't' think we'll be seeing the queer aspect of this narrative this season - that dealing with this first part is key and only once#he has figured it out can he then be free to know himself - is true self better - and accept and move into his full self as a queer man#so yeah - catholic guilt arc 7b and 8a - as its really a two parter - finally dealing with the remnants of Shannon - and its connection wit#his faith and then when truly free of that exploring his queerness!#So yeah - Marisol will possibly be here until towards the end of the season because she is meant to be the trigger point for Eddie in#relation to Shannon - its why they made the difference (and similarities) between S and M very obvious in 7x01#they have the time to build this story arc more fully now with the s8 renewal - to do it justice and unfortunately as part of that it means#she'll probably be around longer than any of us would like!#I don't know if I even make sense at this point#but I do want to reitterate that the show is goig out of its way to contrast her with Buck as well#to really show how close and right for each other Buck and Eddie are so no one needs to panic - she's here for the narrative not forever!#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz
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Today's unhinged "good God I hate how much extreme generosity I'm expected to extend to the Peter Jackson films by people who make wildly bad faith arguments about things I like" rant:
I am very deeply tired of people insisting with zero evidence that of course the LOTR films are imperfect, but the difficulties of adapting LOTR are such that it wasn't possible for them to be better than they were—in, apparently, any respect. They just couldn't be done better, at all, because it was so hard to make something watchable at all.
This is always just like ... really? Really?? Just what prevented them from making better decisions about anything? What exactly made casting every actor of color as barely differentiated villainous hordes in the twenty-first century so necessary and unavoidable? The glamorization and vast expansions of battle scenes and insertion of "heroic" war crimes was the highest film as a medium could aspire to in the early 2000s because of what insuperable force?
What made it impossible to give Arwen a coherent character arc? The films could not have been made without the underlying assumption that most of the cast are NPCs who will only do the right thing, when they will, if prodded or manipulated or influenced by main characters? In what way is this an inevitability of adaptation or film that simply couldn't have been conceptualized differently, much less better?
There is zero explanation or justification for why any of this stuff (or the myriad other flaws) had to be that way and couldn't have been done better in any way at any point. It's just stated that the films that exist must be the best films that could have existed because they're the ones that do exist and are popular. QED.
That doesn't make any sense, though, and it doesn't convince anyone who doesn't already agree. The idea that they could not have been better in any way (including their worst quality, which again, is the extremely racist casting), that some force was preventing not only the actual filmmakers but any filmmakers that could possibly exist from doing anything better just seems patently absurd.
You can like them and respect what they did achieve without demanding that everyone buy into a baseless and irrational argument that their pop culture success means nothing about them could possibly have been done any better. Look, I was in my mid to late teens at the time. I remember the early 2000s quite well. It wasn't now, but we are not talking about an age so divorced from our own that any of these things were somehow fundamental to the media landscape.
There are ways in which the LOTR films were very good that were essential to their popularity then and now. This does not require anyone to accept that it was literally impossible for them to be better than they are or that some defense is required against every criticism of them ever.
I am not, incidentally, talking about removing Bombadil, an entirely understandable and defensible decision that the film defenders in my notes somehow always feel the need to bring up. I know that changes had to be made, that adaptation is not a word for word transcription, that it would always be a difficult text to adapt, that structurally minor elements had to go, that they are cinematically beautiful films that a lot of work and love went into. I know this. EVERYONE knows this, because for the last 20 years it's been impossible to criticize anything about them without being reminded. Their accomplishments, and their existence, do not mean that any choice made by the filmmakers must definitionally have been the right call and could not possibly have been better in any way.
#in SOME respects they're very well crafted. this does not in any way mean it was impossible for anything about them to have been done better#this is such an incredibly illogical yet incredibly common argument#look. it's been 20 years and they've so utterly shaped pop culture perceptions of tolkien that they've become inescapable#a few critics thinking they're not the pinnacle of actual or possible tolkien adaptation is not some looming threat that must be combated#every time any criticism—slight or significant—is raised#it's wild to me that something so overwhelmingly popular has such a hair-trigger fanbase. like the swifties of adaptation discourse#down to 'well people criticized trivial details in the early 2000s and thus the god emperor must be defended against any slight'#a tiny fraction of tolkien fans not liking the films is truly not a threat to their supremacy and you really do not have justify liking the#much less every. single. decision. made in them. if you don't want to criticize them you can simply not do it!#but y'all are not lone sufferers bearing the high and lonely destiny of silencing all criticism of one of the most lucrative series ever#anghraine rants#pj critical#legendarium blogging#legendarium fanwank#thought about making this unrebloggable for obvious reasons but ... we'll see if i need to.#long post
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Just saw your post about the Mercy/John/Augustine whole thing and *chef's kiss* so I have this question that's been on the back burner for a while and thought I'd ask your take on it then, why for dios apate did they chose it to be Mercy and Augustine with John? Why not just one of them? I mean Mercy is an anatomy expert right, she probably could have done something by/on herself or Augustine
Well it's like in the post, right? Dios Apate Major had to be both Augustine and Mercy, because just one of them wouldn't have worked.
If one of them had started coming on to John, it would have put John on the spot and had a much higher chance of setting off his paranoia. Their seduction technique relied on the existing dynamic between the three of them, and played on one of John's most fervid desires: for his friends to get along and like him.
It goes like this: Augustine and Mercy start an old fight, and pull John in as mediator. They let John "succeed" at deescalating the argument, thereby making him feel good about himself, then pivot the remaining tension to sexual tension. John's already part of the argument, so it's easy enough to make it feel like a natural progression when they pull him into their exciting new method of making up. And there you go! John's seduced, their complicated power dynamic isn't upset, and John's none the wiser that it was all a scheme to gain access to his genetic code.
So long story short, just one of them showing new interest in John would have been suspicious. Showing new interest in one another and taking John along for the ride gets under his defences, because he wants so badly for them to get along.
#a lot of john's paranoia in centered on not believing anyone could possibly love him#and feeling like everyone is going to betray him the second he gives them an excuse#so odds are a direct approach would have badly spooked him#they had to sidle up on it and make it so it was never about him or how they felt about him to avoid triggering him#actually very very sad when you think about it for too long#the locked tomb#dios apate major#augustine the first#mercymorn the first#emperor john gaius#htn spoilers#harrow the ninth
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i know i won't be leaving here with you
#tricked yall. this isn't actually about thorsten and victor it's about those two rabbits from the opening scene of tödliche tarnung#tatort stuttgart#(that was a lie this is my thorsten/victor thesis statement)#are they GOOD for each other? debatable. did they spend 90% of their acquaintance lying to each other? absolutely. are they both really#competent in their respective fields and really good at working together when they want to? yeah. is there something more than a little#homoerotic about all of it?#yes <3#the thing about take me out is that it's a rival snipers song and it's a song about machinery and knowing only one of you is getting out of#this alive . the thing about take me out is that it's about the moment before you both pull the trigger#still very annoyed by the GAPING continuity fail in spiel auf zeit btw. i'm sorry you're gonna base a whole escape plan on victor faking#there being a daughter thorsten doesn't know about. when tödliche tarnung TOLD us that victor has a daughter and OH YEAH thorsten (or chris#is her GODFATHER#come on. guuuuuyyyssss#i like making vids that feel a little like they're spiraling. repeating the same scenes (but not quite the same moments) over and over#again until it resolves into something either further up or further down but not far away from where we started#flashing back and back unable to look directly at the key moment until it passes and it becomes possible to move on#i ALSO like sebastian's silly little gazelle hop in that scene right after victor saves thorsten's life. symmetry would have demanded i add#some sort of baustelle instead on exactly that beat but no damn you. not throwing out the silly gazelle hop
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It occurred to me, given your posts of Bones and Crusher: Is the CMO always the most attractive member of the cast? Bashir certainly keeps up the trend, Holo-Doc is more questionable, but we've got some strong contenders in the recent series. (M'Benga, oh man)
If the question is whether the Star Trek doctor is always the most attractive to me personally, the answer is yes, surprisingly (or unsurprisingly), most of the time (though a lot of it is that I just really like the characters, as Bones, Crusher, and Bashir are my favourites in their respective series).
I love the character of the EMH, but don't find him particularly attractive, per se (sorry Robert Picardo, but I think you're awesome). I don't know who it'd be on Voyager for me--there are several candidates, because, of course, I find many Trek characters attractive.
I think there's a case to be made for Culber, as well.
SNW is a hard call, because that entire cast is ridiculously good looking, but I think I'm somewhat more bi for Ortegas than for M'Benga. I have to stop accidentally sitting behind Melissa Navia at plays before it gets awkward.
But, to judge the attractiveness of the Star Trek doctors for yourself, I present my post of every doctor in a slutty v-neck. Unfortunately, the last time I updated it was in 2019, so before SNW, but if anyone wants to find me a picture of M'Benga in a v-neck I will not be complaining.
EDITED: Never say I didn't give you anything; here's the updated v-neck post now feat. SNW M'Benga
#star trek#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#star trek tng#beverly crusher#star trek ds9#julian bashir#star trek dsc#hugh culber#star trek voy#the emh#star trek snw#m'benga#erica ortegas#my misgivings about some of snw aside the cast is very hot#i am not a snw hater i do like it but i have my reservations#ortegas is not one of them#snw chapel is so pretty that she literally triggers my cute aggression response#and i think that might be the first time that's ever happened to me#from an actor#gmbeowulf#asks#people i know in real life who are now aware that my tumblr is a massive embarrassing mess#and weird shrine to bones and bev#with voyager who to pick#tuvok seven kes b'elanna and janeway all are fine possibilities
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I didn't care much how long I lived
#this is also actually from may lmao#but i only finished it recently#mike wheeler#mike wheeler fanart#stranger things#stranger things fanart#byler#byler fanart#tw blood#trigger warning blood#tw: blood#cw blood#cw: blood#content warning blood#i gotta be honest i very much wanted to post this when the tag was being weird about mike and the possibility of him getting a vecna vision#just to piss people off habwndhwnwjdhe#but i forgor#lenora’s stranger things art
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hello other people with chronic pain/illness. what do you do when your hobbies all make you agitated and upset and in more pain but you also can't sleep. this is a legitimate query i will accept any answers. thank u.
#i was having an ok time earlier but rapidly something bad is happening and the morning is becoming very very very very very bad.#it's pretty sudden and i'm not sure what triggered it#but when i looked in the bathroom mirror my face looks like i got the worst sunburn possible and then#developed an allergy to something so. we're gonna safely assume it's a new flare#autoimmune tag
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