#possibly the most heartbreaking chapter yet

[lethalchiralium]

If ur taking requests can we get something like Ghost still doesnt trust fxreader at all even when they are together for like 1/2 years and she gets all sad and starts distancing herself tyxxxx

No More | Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

a/n: guys. guys i mean it keep the requests coming i love them. also : captain reader? because girlboss??? it’s kinda shitty but i love messy. gives me better control of future chapters :)

CALLSIGN: Mercy

warnings: angst, cussing, realizations and sort of heartbreak.

summary: You’ve been with Ghost for a year and a half - you allowed him into things you kept safe guarded, and realized that he has never done the same for you.

REMINDER: This is a side-blog, not my main! If you have any questions, feel free to message this blog or reblog! Reblogs are always appreciated - as well as any comments, they keep me motivated to write stuff like this!

SERIES MASTERLIST

You thought he would grow out of it. He’s an adult; given, he’s a very fucked up soldier, but an adult that has done adult things. He’s a few years shy of being in his thirties, and he doesn’t even understand the basics of having a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand a lot of things, and even though you’ve explained to him more times than you can remember, he still didn’t understand you after a year and a half of being together. Sure, you are on the same squad, you leave separately on break but always end up in the same apartment. The apartment that had framed pictures of you, your family, your dog - yet it always feels like he doesn’t give you anything.

It’s been a year and a half and the only personal thing you got out of him was a story about his brother when they were younger. You had told him countless stories of you and your childhood best friend, your single dad who fostered and adopted you. You even told him about your childhood dog who got hit by a car when he was young and still lived to be 15, about the very short memories you had of your godfather before he passed. You had told him everything, you had put your full trust into him and he hadn’t even given thought into putting an ounce of trust into you.

You couldn’t help it when you started to close yourself off - a trauma response from those years in the orphanage, then the system. You took less and less patients, eventually getting confronted by your Lieutenant, “What is going on with you, Captain?” You had given them a half-assed answer, “Got a lot of papers to go through from Price. It won’t be a long time.” And you kept yourself locked in your office, looking over case files and possible missions you could go on to escape this. Escape the feeling that has been gnawing at your soul since the last time you left your apartment with him three months ago. The feeling of distrust, of emotional abandonment.

You didn’t stop your tears when they came every night after Ghost had visited, but you never cried in front of him. You figured that would give him more ammunition to keep you at arm’s length.

Your hand ran across the hefty manila folder, the other held onto your vest collar. You opened the folder.

It was a stupid decision, you knew that. He would never let you get out of his sight, let you be anywhere without his knowledge and approval. But you needed something different - you needed somewhere where you felt like you could breathe, with people you trust and have put trust into you.

Your dog, Cerberus, whined from your cot across the room. You’d been sleeping more in your office than your own room, you figured it was because you were mentally preparing to be out on the friend with your old squad, and definitely not because you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Ghost. He never let you move away from him in missions, never let you out of his sight when on them - it was suffocating, feeling like you were inadequate in a field you spent most of your life in because of the man you loved with everything you had. You gave him your all, your everything - he definitely made you feel that it would never be enough, without him even speaking a word.

Your eyes read over the mission again. Reconnaissance on a couple of enemy bases, a patrol of safe houses in the area to make sure they were still secure. That and to infiltrate a top secret base deep in the mountains to retrieve information on a possible illegal uranium enrichment plant being constructed. Your eyes darted back across the room to Cerberus, you whistled lowly. The German Shepherd leapt off your cot, scrambling to sit in between you and your desk, he plopped his heavy head on your lap. You smiled at him, scratching behind his ears. “Good boy, Cerby.”

Your team consisted of your good friends, Logan and Hesh Walker, as well as Keegan Russ. You remembered how threatened Ghost was with how close of friends you were with them, you had chose to follow him to 141 instead of stay in the comfort of the Ghost Crew. A choice you had regretted earlier, but not now. You felt a lot better equipped with such an intense task force, you have more medics than before and an actual base to stay in - that and Price seemed a lot more relaxed now that Hassan and Shepherd were no longer a problem.

Cerberus’s ears perked up and he darted out from under your desk as you heard thunderous footsteps coming towards your office.

“Lay down.” You ordered your dog, he looked back at you before he skittered back onto your bed. You stood, your seat wheeled backwards half a foot. It was only five more seconds before your office door slammed against the wall, Ghost stormed in and shoved it back into the frame with his foot. He held up a folder just likes yours before he growled loudly, “What the fuck is this?”

You closed your own folder, moving your hand from your vest collar and splaying your fingers on the cardstock. Your eyes stayed down on the folder stamped, “Classified.”

“You’re going on a mission with the Ghosts?”

Your eyes looked over some stamped patient files, taking them in your hand and opening a few to se did you had signed them.

“Price told me five minutes ago. You’ve known for how long?”

You closed the files and whistled lowly again, the clicking of claws against the concrete was heard as the massive search and rescue dog curled around the back of your legs. You didn’t even have to look to know that he had his hackles raised - when you were on guard, so was he.

Ghost marched forwards and slammed his folder down on your desk, his fist clenched as he growled, “Answer me.”

“A month.” You muttered, eyes staring at the folders in your hands before turning away. You’ve cried over him the night previous and the seven before that, must you face him?

“And you weren’t going to tell me?” His voice was gruff, appalled. “That’s reckless. And you told Price not to tell me? Really?”

“It was need to know.” You answered, placing the files back on your desk before you stepped around your dog to the head of your cot where your duffle sat open. He followed, keeping a distance of six feet from you because of Cerberus curling around your legs and staring at him. Your hands grew shaky as you began to double check everything in your bag.

“I tell you whenever I leave for any mission, any fuckin’ errand, and you don’t dare tell me about one of the most important ops we’ve had in months? Why are you going?”

“They need a medic, they requested me.”

He scoffed. “We need our medic.”

You slowed down, hand brushing over your beige t-shirts as you spoke, “You have my lieutenant, Gomez.”

“I want you here.” His voice softened a little, you shoved the clothes down farther in the bag, pulling out your spare medkit and opening it, eyes darting over its contents. “I only trust you to patch me up.”

You slammed your spare med-pack closed and back into your duffle. You quickly zipped it, sharply saying, “That’s funny, ‘cause you seem not to trust me any other time.” You turned to look at him, eyes brimmed with tears.

His eyes widened. “What?”

“You don’t trust me, Simon. You never let me take my lead when we’re on missions, let me be near you, let me talk with other people.” Your arms crossed over your chest, tears slicing hot on your skin. “You don’t trust me. do you even want to be in this relationship?” Your hand went up and quickly wiped away your tears. “Because it certainly feels like you don’t.”

He stood there, stunned - his hands at his side, he had no idea what to do with them. “Of course I do.” He took a step forward, cautiously placing his right hand out. “Of course I trust you.”

You backed away then, your calves bumped into Cerberus, your hand reached down to touch his head - an attempt to calm yourself. “Then why can’t you put a little faith in me? A little faith that you are the one I go to sleep thinking about? That you are the one I worry about when I’m out on the field, instead of my own safety? That I wouldn’t ever do this to you?” Tears fall rapidly, your heart beat roughly in your chest - anxiety was gripping your diaphragm. “I trust you with my life, Simon. I have since we got together. It’s been almost a year and a half and you still don’t even trust me to have your back.”

He just stands there, arms at his side - his eyes stared at you, dark and full of pain. “I do. I do trust you, Y/N.”

You threw your duffle on your back and walked towards him - shoving a finger into his chest, looking up at him. “You have this whole mission to think about this, about us. Because I can’t be trusting you blindly when you don’t even trust me to breathe.”

You moved around him, whistling for Cerberus. The dog swiftly followed you out of the office, and you slammed the door behind you. You swiftly walked down the corridor, and as soon as you turned the corner, your back hit the wall. Your hand flew up to your mouth, pressing into it to muffle the loud sobs that fell from your throat. Cerberus pawed at your leg before pressing his head to it.

____________________

part 2 here!

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[delusional-day-dreamer]

First. Love. Part² - p.b

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‣ paige bueckers x oc

‣ wc: 12079 (this took me way too long but I got carried away...)

‣‣ synopsis: background on paige and jenna's relationship, how they met, fell in love, and how paige ended up becoming jenna's first heartbreak and eternal muse.

‣‣‣ a/n: So High School Part 2 will be out soon (i have no idea where to take the plot in that series 😔), this is sort of a filler chapter in between the podcast episode in part 3 to give context. EDIT: I changed Jenna's major to be Business Economics with a minor in Film, Television, and Digital Media because it's more relevant for the later plot!

June 30th, 2016 (summer before freshman year; 14 years old)

Jenna's POV:

You didn't know how much more of this stupid city you could handle. You had just locked your front door behind you as you left to go to the pool inside your new neighborhood, excited to read a book you had bought the other day while sunbathing on a lounge chair.

Your parents had just uprooted your life and moved you from San Diego, California, land of sunshine, beaches, and only a small amount of criminal activity, to middle of nowhere Hopkins, Minnesota, right before you started high school with all of your old friends.

Of course you understood that this was for the better of your family, both of your parents had gotten new jobs at a huge hospital with far better pay than their previous ones, they found a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood close to what was going to be your new school, and living in your dad's hometown meant being close to his family.

However, none of these facts soothed the bitter taste in your mouth that formed at the thought of having to be the new kid, having no friends to hang out with for the rest of summer or to start school off with, no job or classes to distract your never-ending train of thoughts, and you didn't even have a sibling to act as your built in friend.

Regardless, you tried your best to adjust to your new, albeit lonely, life by distracting yourself as much as possible. Your parents had re-enrolled you in music lessons the same week you finished moving into your house, gave you an allowance to buy new clothes and hang out at the local mall, as you very quickly realized your Californian wardrobe would not fit the Minnesota weather, despite it being summertime (although you hadn't gone yet as you hated shopping alone), and you had even been going to the pool frequently with the hopes of meeting kids close to your age.

And it just so happened that today, your prayers had been answered. As you were walking down the street, the door to a house you had just crossed by across the street had barely opened before a small boy barrels out, closely followed by a taller, blonde girl who appeared to be around your age, locking the door behind the two of them. You weren't able to put a finger on it, but there was simply something about the girl that was mesmerizing, just a quick glance at her had you wanting to know more.

You had always known you liked girls to some extent, you always found yourself gazing at the t.v. in wonder at the beautiful girls displayed upon the screen. However, it wasn't until probably a hundred, "Am I Gay?" internet quizzes later in seventh grade you recognized the fact that you were queer and were in fact attracted to girls, you just didn't bother telling anyone about this revelation.

In particular, the girl in front of you invoked millions of questions that raced through your mind: who was she, was she your age, was she going to the same high school as you, and most importantly, why was she so pretty? Her blonde hair cascaded down her back with a slight wave to them, her white oversized t-shirt and black basketball shorts draped over her tall frame, and her voice that rang out as she scolded the little boy who ran in front of her to the end of their walkway.

God, her voice was the most intoxicating thing you had ever heard, luring you into her like a siren's song to the depths of the ocean. You swore you were floating at the twinkling sound of her laughter echoing around the block as she joked with, who you head her refer to as, her little brother.

You snapped out of your stunned daze and continued walking forward as she followed her little brother onto the main sidewalk, now almost parallel with your frame. You were mentally counting your blessings that she hadn't looked up enough to see your stalker-esque figure staring at her, although you were praying that she happened to be going to the pool as well (definitely not so you could look at her some more).

Truly, God had decided to pay special attention to you today, as your blonde neighbor grabbed her little brother's hand as she crossed the street, making her way towards you. You couldn't help but glance at her as she approached you, and you were taken aback by the shockingly blue eyes that met yours. You gave her a tight-lipped smile as she stepped up to the sidewalk just behind you, hoping your internal panic wasn't apparent on your face as you faced forward once again.

Your focus on taking deep breaths in and out to not embarrass yourself in front of the first person your age you've even made eye contact with in the last month is interrupted by the little boy running past you, gently bumping into your leg as he brushes past you. His short legs are working overtime to maintain a pace faster than both you and the pretty stranger, who had now jogged up next to you to keep close to her brother.

"Drew the pool isn't gonna run away by the time we get there, you gotta slow down buddy," She called out to the curly-headed child, turning her head to peer slightly down at you.

"Sorry about him, he gets really ahead of himself sometimes," She apologized on his behalf, her eyes scanning over your face. Before giving you a chance to reply, she continued on. "Are you new to the neighborhood? I don't think I've ever seen you around?" She questions, your heart slightly speeding up at the undivided attention she was paying to your face.

"No yeah I am, I just moved here from California," you replied, tucking your hands into the pockets of your shorts to avoid any nervous flailing.

"No way, that's so cool, I've always wanted to visit. Did you live next to the beaches? One of my old friends went there for vacation and she loved it, like she wouldn't shut up about how nice it is over there. I think she went somewhere close to LA. Wait are you going to the pool too?" Her outgoing demeanor surprised you. You had only seen her for the first time a minute ago, and she was already carrying you into a conversation about your old life.

"Yeah I did and I am, I lived in San Diego so the beaches there were really nice compared to the northern part. I miss being able to go there all the time, so I guess for now the pool will just have to do," you joked back, and your heart fluttered at the smile that broke out on her face.

It had appeared that you made your first friend in Hopkins, Minnesota, and unbeknownst to you, she would quickly become your first ever best friend. Then your first girlfriend, your first love, and then slowly, your first and last heartbreak.

April 4th, 2017 (spring break, freshman year; 15 years old)

Paige's POV:

"Dude there's no way you think pancakes are supposed to be better than waffles, they're so boring," I protested on my bed next to Jenna, rolling onto my stomach towards her and propping up my elbows so I could look at her. Jenna had somehow become my best friend within the span of two months during summer, and although I was unsure of when and how her presence became so prominent in my life in such a quick span of time, I was nothing but grateful.

We had started high school together and even had a class together everyday, which was a saving grace for both of us. She came to every single one of my home games this season, even some of the closer away games. She made it to more of my games that any person in my family did, which surprised me, but she just was always there for me somehow.

I was never the best at making friends outside of basketball, the sport was my comfort zone and it was always so much easier to relate to my teammates who felt the same. Yet, me and Jenna just clicked, despite our many differences. Hanging out with her quenches a thirst within me I didn't know I had. A thirst to be seen, to be heard and known, a desire for someone to see me past all my future athletic potential and to just see me, and without fail, she did that for me. Every. Time.

One of the things we discovered early into our friendship, the first time she came over to my house to hang out, were our matching initials. PB and JS, which we affectionately coined to be our nicknames, Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich (pretend pazzi does not own this nickname). Jenna always says that our matching initials are a sign from above, a sign that we're meant to stick by the other's side. We even bought matching necklaces with our initials over winter break as a mutual Christmas present, mine was silver and hers was gold.

Our parents loved the nickname as well, joking that it's the reason they can never separate us, as you just can't have one without the other. Our families somehow became intertwined over the course of our friendship as well, trading in between carpool duties, spending long weekends and the occasional holiday together, and even coming to cheer me on at my basketball games or watching Jenna's dance recitals from the class she took instead of P.E. We all even went out to eat together to celebrate me and Jenna's small freshmen year milestones, like our birthdays.

Hers was a bit before mine, September 21st, 2001, which made her just slightly older than me. Apparently according to the Minnesota school laws or whatever, Jenna is supposed to be in the grade above, but California has different age cutoffs so she's one of the oldest people in our grade.

She confessed to me before school started that she was nervous about being the eldest out of everyone, but I reassured her by saying that it just meant she could drive the two of us around and do a bunch of other things before everyone else could. That really helped.

She even let me into her secret world of music, I knew she took classes but until she played and sang for me, I didn't realize just how good she was. She was fairly shy when it came to her talent, and almost never played in front of people she wasn't comfortable with, which is why it felt like an honor when she played a song on the piano or guitar for me, or sang for or with me, whether it was playing from the radio or something small she wrote.

But the thing that really brought us closer together was when Jenna's parents had to go out of town from time to time for their medical conferences, which left her home alone. When she was younger, she always used to go with them, as missing school wasn't that big of a deal. But now, she ended up refusing, insisting that she would be alright home alone.

This didn't fly with either of our families, and our parents eventually came to the conclusion that Jenna could just stay over at our house when needed. It wasn't like me and Jenna didn't have sleepovers all the time anyways, and both me and Drew loved having her over. She even met my Mom and my two other little siblings, Ryan and Lauren. The three of them immediately took to her the way I did, entranced by her presence. She loved hanging out with them too, since she was an only child.

There was something about Jenna that somehow attracted people to her. Maybe it was her welcoming presence, the way she made you feel like the most important person in the world with the way she looked at you, or perhaps it was something appealing about her appearance. The small makeup she put on and the way she spent extra time styling her hair was always unnecessary in my opinion, I always thought she was the prettiest person in our grade.

Sometimes I wondered if the two of us were truly best friends. I know friends hang out a bunch like we do, they don't mind changing in the same room or even in front of each other, and they definitely feel comfortable enough to cuddle together in bed or while watching a movie. Right?

But sometimes I swear there's a weird fluttering in my stomach when Jenna's bare legs drape over mine on the couch, or sometimes my heart skips a beat when we're getting ready for bed and she just pauses while changing her shirt, intent on continuing our conversation even while standing in just her bra.

But it's okay for friends to do that right? I mean, I've only ever had crushes or thought boys were attractive, so everything I'm feeling is probably just from the fact that I've never had a best friend like Jenna. Sure, I've had a bunch of friends and teammates I'm really close to, but me and Jenna spend all of our time together, and there's almost nothing we wouldn't do together. Sometimes, we just take turns showering while the other person stays in the bathroom just so we can keep talking.

Which led the two of us up to now, spending spring break sprawled out on my bed at 9pm, arguing about whether waffles or pancakes were better. We never had any real arguments, but with me and Jenna both being super competitive and never wanting to be wrong, we always had long discussions "fighting" about meaningless topics.

"Pancakes are so much smoother and like, enjoyable to eat compared to waffles, plus waffles end up crispy at the edges and they just end up tasting weird," She insisted, adjusting herself from her back to her side so she could argue with me face to face.

Her hair fell over her shoulder when she moved, leaving her shoulder exposed as her, no, my sweatshirt had slightly slouched down as it was big on her. Jenna wasn't exactly short, she was around 5'5, it's just that I happened to be even taller.

"Girls, come down for dinner please," my step-mom yelled from downstairs before I could even snap out of my distracted state to argue back.

"Coming Mrs. Bueckers," Jenna took the initiative to yell back slightly when I didn't respond in time, still in shock as to why I ended up staring at my best friend, distracted by her bare shoulder in my clothes. Me and Jenna always shared clothes, we even kept clothing and toiletry spares in each others rooms for spontaneous sleepovers. So why was her wearing my sweatshirt, in my bed, so different this time?

Whatever the reason was, I didn't have time to even think it over before Jenna got up from next to me, grabbing my hands with hers so she could yank me up as well, complaining that she was hungry. She kept our hands interlocked as we left my room, walking down the stairs hurridley. It was a miracle she didn't notice that for some reason, her soft, warm hands in mine had left a barely noticeable blush on my cheeks.

October 28th, 2017 (sophomore year; 16 years old)

Jenna's POV:

"Come on J hurry up, it's just a stupid party," Paige walked into your bathroom as you were almost finished curling your hair. "I'm on my last section P chill, I'll be done in a minute," you reassured her reflection. The two of you were invited to a Halloween party, but apparently you weren't supposed to dress up since technically it's not Halloween yet? (skinny jeans were the shit in 2017 but I can't bring myself to write that that's what they're wearing 😔)

You were both confused about it but the junior who invited you guys, Alexa, was one of your friends from math class. You were sat together on the first day and despite both of you struggling here and there, you often got the concepts a little bit quicker than her, so you always helped her when possible. And in return, she got the two of you an invite, well technically she invited you but everyone knows you and Paige are a package deal, to one of the biggest house parties of the school year.

It was also going to be the first party you were ever going to, and you both agreed to not go overboard on the drinks, since your aunt cristina, who was visiting, was going to pick and drop you in her car. Your mom's sister couldn't have chosen a better time to come visit, as both of your parents were working the night shift tonight and Paige's parents allowed her to sleepover at your house since your aunt was supposed to "supervise".

"See, I'm ready, let's go," you told Paige as you finished your hair with a thin layer of hairspray, moving past her into your room to grab your phone and keys. Your parents had gotten you a used Ford F-150 truck (so gay) so it would be easier for you to drive to school, with Paige of course, since they both started working longer hours now that you were old enough to take care of yourself and so that they could retire earlier.

You both made your way downstairs to your Aunt Cristina on the couch, watching tv while waiting for you to finish getting ready. "Ready to hit the road girls?" She got up to turn off the tv and grab her things from around the living room.

"Yup, thank you again for taking us, and for not telling our parents," Paige responded on your behalf as well. It was typical of adults to love Paige, she was always the most respectful and responsible kid in their eyes, even when thanking your aunt for driving you to a party so you could drink responsibly.

"No problem, I'd rather you girls be safe while having fun, no point in sneaking out if I'm here for you," She joked as you moved to get in her car, and within ten minutes, the three of you were pulled up outside the address Alexa had given you.

"Now please just remember to be safe, have fun, drink responsibly, don't leave your drinks unattended, don't try drinks from random people, keep your phone on you, don't leave each other's side," Your aunt was rambling off safety rules to the two of you in the backseat. You thought it was ironic she had to mention for you to stay together as if you ever left each other's side anyways.

"Yes Auntie C of course," You promised her as you moved to open the car door, "We'll be safe and I'll text you, love you, thanks, bye!" You closed the door the second Paige climbed out from the backseat, eager to walk into the house you could hear music blaring out of.

Before you knew it, the two of you were sitting pressed up together on a couch in a crowded living room, two red solo cups in hand with sprite and vodka. You and Paige were tipsy from the past two hours of drinking, a warm fuzziness settled into our brains, making the circle of people around us funnier than they probably were.

"No you know what we should play, seven minutes in heaven!" A drunk junior called out mid-conversation. You weren't really absorbing anything that was being said around you until that, and the loud cheers that erupted from the living room at the suggestion.

"Everybody gather around in a circle on the floor, whoever spins it has to go in the guest bedroom with the person it lands on for seven minutes," Alexa called out to everyone as she reached for an empty beer bottle behind her, before moving to sit on the floor.

"D'you wanna play?" Paige asked quietly next to you. You could tell she was hesitant on joining, and would only sit down if you went with her or dragged her with you.

"Why not, what are the chances we get picked anyways?" You decided, downing the last sip of your drink before setting it down on the floor, pulling Paige off the couch with you and into the circle.

"Before we start," Alexa loudly interrupted the conversation of the circle as she placed the beer bottle in the middle, causing everyone to quiet down and listen to her. "If you get picked to go in the room, you do not, and I repeat do not, have to do anything. The room stays unlocked the whole time, and you can't force the other person to do anything, even kiss," She insisted, making eye contact with every person in the circle before sitting back down in her spot.

"Agreed?" She asked everyone, and only allowed the game to start after hearing a response from everyone.

The game started and by the fourth round, everyone except one couple had clearly used the seven minutes to their advantage, coming out with tousled hair, bruised lips, and one girl even came out with a visibly red hickey on her neck. You and Paige had yet to be picked, and you felt a sense of relief that the two of you got to participate without having to actually play the game.

But, you suppose you must have spoken (or thought) too soon though, as you watched the next guy spin the bottle, and it slowed to a stop, the neck pointing right at you. Encouragements and cheers burst from the circle, urging the two of us to go in the room. You recognized who he was from around campus and his games, a junior volleyball player.

He got up from his seat, walking across the circle to you, and offering his hand to pull you up. You looked over hesitantly at Paige, who was barely meeting your eyes and had a small, tight-lipped smile on her face. Ignoring her reaction, you took his hand in yours and allowed him to hoist you up, dropping it the moment you stood in front of him.

You walked into the room first, sitting on the desk pushed up against the wall as he closed the door behind him and walked up to you, leaving a foot of space in between you two, presumably waiting for you to give him some sort of indicator.

"I'm sorry, I hope you don't really mind but I wasn't really planning on getting picked and I'm not comfortable, like, kissing you or anything so if you want to pick someone else I get it, I just don't want to," the nervous ramble poured out of you without constraint, the alcohol you had consumed making you more open-lipped than normal.

"Hey it's cool, you heard Alexa, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he shrugged, moving to take a seat on the edge of the queen bed in the room.

"Oh, thank you, I guess. I didn't think you would be so cool about your turn being wasted," You settled on top of the desk properly, turning to face the boy who was surprisingly chill.

"Nah it's whatever, I just broke up with my girlfriend like a month ago too, so I don't really care. I'm Jeremy by the way," he introduced, bringing one foot off the floor to rest over his other knee, leaning slightly back onto the bed.

"I'm Jenna, this is my first party so I wasn't really sure how all of this was gonna go."

"Jenna, I swear I've heard your name before," he paused, thinking for a moment. "Ohh, you’re the one who's friends with the basketball girl, Paige something right?" He suddenly remembered.

"Yeah I came with her tonight, she's my best friend," You smiled, talking about Paige was one of the easiest things in the world for you. You knew everything about her, inside and out, and majority of people knew you through her, since her athleticism made her quite popular around school. You never minded being known as Paige's best friend though, you knew you had your own identity and Paige always reminded anyone who referred to you as that, but there was a certain comfort that your friendship was strong enough for even a stranger to know that about you.

You and Jeremy continued small talking about school and a little bit about his ex-girlfriend before a knock rang out from the door, signaling that your time was up. He got up before you and held the door open as you walked out, instantly being bombarded with excited whoops and teasing "oooo's" as you walked to join the circle again.

"We didn't even do anything, guys" Jeremy emphasized to the circle, attempting to calm the rambunctious circle.

"Then why is she red as a tomato? The girl couldn't be blushing harder if she tried," a random girl in the circle yelled out, revving up the groups fever.

"She's like sixteen, chill out. Besides it's probably cause all of you," Jeremy backed you up as you walked over to your previous seat, but before you sat back down, you realized Paige was no longer there.

"Where did Paige go?" You asked the group before the next person could spin the bottle, causing eyes to shoot up at you.

"She went to the kitchen for a refill, so probably still there," Alexa informed you. You nodded at her before walking away, searching for your missing best friend.

You didn't have to look for long before you found her taking a shot in the kitchen with two other random girls, her face souring heavily at the alcoholic taste. You knew Paige hated the taste of alcohol and was never one to submit to peer-pressure, so why was she taking a shot of tequila with strangers?

"Hey P," you walked up to her, resting your hand on her bicep to draw her attention to you.

"Hey J," she responded dryly, but her voice was slightly slurred, moving her arm out of your hold to swap out the shot class for a full solo cup you could only pray she filled herself.

"You wanna leave soon? It's already like one ish?"

"Sure, whatever," she took a long sip from her cup, downing half of whatever she had poured in it.

"Okay, we can wait outside, let the cold air sober us up a bit before Auntie C gets here," you gently pried the red plastic cup out of her hand before grabbing her hand and leading her out to the living room, saying bye to the small amount of friends you knew before walking outside.

The two of you settled onto the edge of the curb at the ending curve of the sidewalk, just far enough from the house to get a little quiet. The stuffed house had been slightly humid, and the light breeze was a refreshing contrast to your previous environment.

"How was it?" Paige's question broke the quiet but tension-filled bubble the two of you had formed.

"How was what?"

"Your seven minutes in heaven," Paige drunkenly mocked.

"P, we didn't do anything. Like, anything anything," you were confused at her attitude, did she know something about Jeremy, or dislike him for some reason?

"You, you didn't kiss him?" The shock was apparent on her face. "The second you left everyone was talking about Jeremy and Jenna kissing in a tree, it was really annoying," she grumbled, you concluded that the alcohol she had consumed must be what was making her weird.

"No way P, I don't want my first kiss to be like that. Forced and with someone I don't even know, let alone like," you scooched closer into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

You awaited a response from her but never get one, she simply leaned her head on top of yours as you waited in a comfortable silence for your ride, which came quickly.

*small time skip*

You had just finished your short skincare routine and were finally ready to climb into bed with Paige, the long night had taken its toll on you, and you were ready to collapse into the warm embrace of your best friend. But tonight, when you laid down next to her in bed, she didn't immediately cuddle into you like she always did, remaining flat on her back, staring at your ceiling.

Instead, she turned over to face you, only a few inches of space were left in between your faces as she whispered to you, "Why didn't you kiss him?"

Her question shocked you. The two of you rarely visited the topic of romantic relationships or feelings of the sort, and both of you agreed that you weren't interested in the thought as of right now.

"I," you paused. You had never officially come out to Paige, afraid that once she knew you liked girls, your every move would be scrutinized and judged, and your relationship would never be the same. But surely, you insisted internally, Paige wasn't going to be like that.

"I wasn't really interested in the thought of kissing a guy," You quietly admitted, rolling back over onto your back to avoid her gaze.

"Oh." That was it? You basically just came out to her and that's all you got?

"Would you ever kiss a guy? Or just," she paused, the hesitation clear in her voice. "Just girls?"

"No I would kiss both, I just don't think I want my first kiss to be with one? Or at least not Jeremy," you confessed quietly, turning your head back over to look at her. She was staring intently at you, scanning your face.

"Who would you want your first kiss to be with?"

"I don't know, but at least with someone I'm close to. Have you ever," you waited a moment before finishing your sentence, taking a deep breath in between your words.

"Have you ever thought about kissing girls? Or a girl?" You whispered, watching her slightly panicked reaction.

"A few times, but I've never kissed anyone either, so I don't know," Her eyes darted in between your eyes and down to your lips. "What if you kiss me? Just so we can both have our first kisses with someone we know," in retrospect, you should've thought harder before agreeing to kiss your previously assumed straight best friend. But her offer set off a flurry of butterflies in your stomach, your cheeks flushed deeply as you nodded.

You shuffled closer to her in bed, such that there was barely an inch of space separating your lips. "Are you sure about this?" You whispered, staring down at her lips while reaching your hand to cup her jaw, the other arm bent at the elbow to support your body above hers.

"Yeah," she nodded, looking down at your own lips, slightly moving in until your lips grazed against hers. You pressed your lips a little firmer into hers, slanting your head further as your lips barely opened. She moved in tandem with you, her hand resting at the nape of your neck as she kissed you back.

Your kiss only lasted a few moments, pulling back the second you registered the taste of alcohol still prominent in her mouth. You realized it was possible that the only reason your best friend asked you to kiss her was because she was drunk, sixteen, and very single.

"This isn't gonna be weird tomorrow is it?" Your brows furrowed as a worried expression settled into your face.

"No, why would it? Friends can kiss, besides we just won't make it weird," she promised. And despite knowing it was a stupid idea, an even stupider statement, you agreed. Collapsing down back onto your pillow, you opened your arms for Paige to snuggle into you, and the two of you drifted into a peaceful slumber.

February 3rd, 2018 (sophomore year; 16 years old)

Paige's POV:

It was a relief to finally find a quiet moment to myself, even if it was at three in the morning in the middle of my living room couch. Everyone in my house was asleep, including Jenna, who was still snoring when I extracted myself from her arms. The ac vent aimed straight at me caused me to pull the blanket tighter into my body, despite the pajama pants I was wearing and one of Jenna's hoodies.

We were almost done with basketball season and were currently playing our conference games, and were thankfully on a streak. And yet, the pressure inside of me continued to build, the need to be perfect and to support and carry my team throughout our games constantly weighing down on me.

Of course my teammates, coaches, family, and my other friends were supportive of me and encouraged me to try my best, and that no one expected perfection of me. But for whatever reason, I couldn't get rid of the anxiety that was constantly taking over my brain, sending me into spiraling panics over my future and my performance.

But throughout the past few months, the only person I felt like I could truly breathe around was Jenna, my lifeline. Despite not being involved in basketball in any way, she understood me and what I was feeling. She confided in me about her having chronic anxiety (GAD) the first time I slept over at her house, when I saw her medication on the dinner table.

She taught me breathing exercises and calming methods, held and comforted me when I cried in the middle of the night from the constant mental pressure, and even told me that I should slide around my initial charm on our matching necklace since it was a better nervous habit than biting my nails.

Even besides that, her presence in itself was a comfort to me, even if I wasn't yet sure of how deep my feelings for her went. She was the first friend I ever said "I love you" too, and I think the same goes for her. And it is true, I do love her with my whole heart, I would do anything she asked or needed of me, I just wasn't sure to what extent this love went.

Along with that, I was still unsure of where I stood with my sexuality. Before Jenna, I never thought about girls in a more than platonic way, but from the first few months of getting to know her, to our first kiss together (still the only time I've ever kissed anybody), to even now, where she was cuddled into my chest a mere thirty minutes ago, I felt electrifying sparks course through my body at her touch, she could make me blush with the most innocent of looks, and she made me giddy in a way even basketball didn't.

But despite all that, it's normal for best friends to love each other? It doesn't automatically mean being gay or being in love, you could just deeply care for the other person. Besides, Jenna never brought up the kiss again, which meant it had probably only happened due to both of our inebriated states.

It was as if my deep train of thought about her cause her to miraculously appear, I knew it was her just from the footsteps upstairs, the way she gently walked down the stairs to avoid a creaky step, and the way her sock-covered feet padded over to the couch, grabbing a throw blanket for herself before taking a seat in the corner end of the couch next as me.

We sat in silence as she reached over to the side of the couch, pushing the button to recline the seat back, unfolding the blanket and covering her bottom half before patting her lap for me once she was fully adjusted.

I all but threw my head into her lap, facing her body, as I extended my legs out onto the rest of the sofa as I moved my arms up hug the tops of her legs as her hands came up to gently scratch at my scalp, playing with my hair in a way that immediately relaxed me into her.

"M'sorry if I woke you," I whispered into her stomach, even though I wasn't actually sorry. I was selfishly happy that she came downstairs for me and would give up anything for us to have more of these quiet moments together, her attention solely focused on me.

"S'okay P, you technically didn't. I felt the bed was empty and then my spidey senses told me you were thinking too hard again, so I came to convince you to come back to bed, but then this beautiful couch looked way too comfortable, so we can just spend the night here," she sleepily mumbled, looking down at me sprawled out onto her lap.

"Tell me who or what is stealing our sleep so I can beat their asses," she joked quietly, her hands coming to rub at my temples.

I sighed, it felt as if her hands were physically melting the pounding in my skull, my headache nearly subsiding just from her touch.

"Just stressed out about everything again y'know? Basketball, school, life, kind of everything," I admitted quietly. The one thing I hated doing, was talking about things that bothered or upset me, it always made me feel weak.

"Hey, we are all so proud of you P. We all know how hard you're working and even though you feel like it, I promise that it's not all up to you. All the people around you love you, and we're all here to help if you need it. You just say the word and we'll all line up for whatever you need," she reassured me, only slightly teasing as her fingers moved to pinch my cheek lightly before moving back to my hair.

"Yeah I know, God really blessed me with you guys. Especially you, I don't know what I would do without you," I murmured up at her, smiling at her sleepy but happy expression.

"Yeah yeah, just say you love me Paige," she poked fun at me quietly, letting her head drop onto the cushion behind her without breaking eye contact with me.

"Hey I do love you J, I say it all the time," I retorted, using my fingers to draw small shapes on her pajama-covered thighs.

"Well I love you too P," her hands smoothed over my hair as she bent down to press a kiss on my hairline before reaching back up to settle into the couch.

"Just trust me, you just need to do all you can so God can do all you can't," she muttered, closing her eyes as she leaned her head slightly onto her shoulder to get comfortable, all without stilling her hands' movements in my scalp.

"Hey that's a sick quote, I'm stealing that from you for my interviews," I teased groggily, the lack of sleep slowly overcoming my voice.

"You can have anything you want from me P, you already know that," she didn't open her eyes when she said that, but I could hear the sincerity in her tone even without looking at her.

The two of us slept the whole night in the exact same position, unaware of everyone waking up to us cuddling on the couch together. My eyes only fluttered open at the sound of quieted laughter and the shuttering of two cameras pointed at the two of us.

As I rolled my head out of Jenna's lap to look at whoever had caused the disturbance, I squinted my eyes to see my dad with his polaroid and Drew using someone's phone. I groaned, burying myself back into Jenna, I probably would never hear the end of this, but it was alright, because it was with Jenna.

July 4th, 2018 (summer before junior year; 16 years old)

Jenna's POV:

"Jenna you need to slow down, I don't want you to throw up or anything," Paige insisted as she walked up to you, pulling you away from the living room of the house party you were in, preventing you from throwing back another shot. The party was hosted by a senior at the end of your neighborhood, just walking distance from both of your houses.

"What's your problem P, I'm just having fun," you argued back, doing your best to enunciate your words to prevent having a slur, knowing she would cut you off immediately if you got too drunk. You were pretty good at holding your liquor, somehow being a natural heavy-weight when it came to drinking.

"Come on Paigey, just lighten up a little, it's the fourth of fucking July, have fun with me. Ooo, we should do a shot together," you elbowed her side jokingly, looking up at her hesitant expression with your best puppy dog eyes.

Her concerned expression softened, you knew it was wrong of you to take advantage of the fact she could never say no to you, but she was the reason you were adamant on drinking to the point of memory loss tonight.

As shameful as it felt to admit it, your best friend had been haunting your every waking moment for the last few months, and you were desperate for an escape from your own thoughts. You always knew you felt something deeper than friendship for Paige, the way your heartbeat would speed up at every touch of her hands, the way you found yourself unable to tear your eyes off of her, on and off the court, and especially, the way you could not escape the mental replay of your kiss.

The press of her soft lips against yours, the slight vanilla taste from her chapstick you so often borrowed, the way the skin of her jaw felt so soft in the palm of your hand, and the way your body melted into hers, pressed against her warm figure.

So, like any reasonable sixteen year old, you were determined to get absolutely shit-faced tonight, to the point where you wouldn't even be able to remember your own name. And the only way that would happen, is if Paige stopped monitoring your every sip of alcohol.

"Okay fine, one shot, but that's it. We can't both be super drunk," She relented, allowing you to pull her back into the kitchen to pour yourself shots.

And just to your luck, Paige had run into a few friends and teammates, leaving you alone with a few class friends for what she intended to be only a few minutes, but ended up being a little over half an hour. Those thirty ish minutes were all you needed to take two more shots, chug one whiteclaw and two beers, and finish a cup of a vodka sprite.

By the time Paige came back, still mostly sober, she was pissed to see that you were plastered, hanging off the shoulder of some guy she could recognize, but was too mad to focus on. She couldn't figure out why you were drinking so much tonight, despite her warning, you were practically making yourself sick for the next day, and you wouldn't even tell her the reason you had been off lately, brushing it off with some bullshitted excuse of school or your parents.

"Yo, who's the blonde chick staring at you?" The random guy you were talking to asked, nodding his head towards Paige, who was leaned against one of the kitchen counters and boring holes into the guy's head.

"Paigeyyy," you called out, lifting your now very heavy head from his shoulder as he pointed out your best friend who was now within eyeline, a deeply annoyed expression settled into her otherwise soft features.

"Hey me and Jenna are gonna head out, it's already past two and she's clearly done drinking for tonight," Paige announced to the group of friends you were hanging out with as she moved towards you, gently guiding your arm over shoulder and pulling you away from the other guy.

"Hey she's fine," the guy you were previously all over slightly slurred, "What are you her babysitter or somethin?"

"Dude worry about yourself, you look like you’re two seconds away from passing out," she snapped at him before walking away, supporting around half of your weight as the two of you exited the house.

"You're always so good to me Paigey, always my taking care of me," you drunkenly mumbled into her shoulder, pressing yourself further into her in an attempt to warm yourself up with her body heat. The summer night in Minnesota wasn't too bad, but your lack of a jacket wasn't helping.

"We'll reach your house in like five minutes, you just gotta walk till there okay?" She spoke firmly, avoiding glancing down at your slouched figure attached to her.

"You're always my best girl," you continued your drunken ramble.

"Always there fo' me, you cuddle me and you kiss me, and you even walk me home," for some selfish reason, she didn't have it in her to stop you. She knew it wasn't fair to you, letting you pour your innermost thoughts or feelings out to her when you weren't in the right state of mind, but she couldn't bear to stop the compliments gushing from your mouth.

"No need to date anyone in the whole wide world when I have you. You're so much nicer than the other girls. Or boys. And prettier. You're the prettiest out of all of them. So pretty, even when you're all sweaty and gross in basketball. You even kiss nice, don't wanna kiss anyone else after you kissed me," she finally cut your mindless babble into her neck off.

"We're here, I need your keys," her voice was curt, almost like she didn't want to be with you anymore. You lifted your head out of the crook of her neck to fumble around the pockets of your jeans, finally pulling out your lanyard and holding it out for her.

She took it from your grasp quickly, unlocking your house and helping you in to take both of your shoes off and lead you up into your bathroom, sitting you on the closed toilet as she went into your room to grab a change of clothes for you.

You leaned your head back in the two minutes she had left, closing your eyes and barely drifting off when she re-entered the bathroom, waking you up so she could help you change and take off your makeup.

It wasn't until you were sitting against the headboard of your bed, watching her move around your room to collect stray clothes from the floor into your hamper that the two of you finally spoke again.

"Paigey are you mad at me?" the nickname slipped from your mouth once again as you questioned her quietly. Paigey was something that usually only Drew called her regularly, but for some reason it was the only thing you referred to her as when drunk.

"Yes Jenna, is that what you wanna hear? That I'm fucking pissed off at you? You've been acting weird for the last like, two months. And no matter how much I try, you won't open up to me, it's frustrating me," she exclaimed pausing her movements around the room to rant to you despite her better judgement telling her she shouldn't talk to you about this while you're drunk.

"And then tonight you're all over some random douche, pretending like everything is fine when you know it's not. Then you start spewing that bullshit about me I know you don't mean because you're drunk."

You stayed silent for a few moments before you responded, "'M sorry, I shouldn't have shut you out for something you didn't do. But saying I don't mean what I said? That's not fair and you know it."

"Stop it Jenna, I think that you should just go to sleep. You're so drunk, you're not even coherent anymore, and I don't want to have this conversation with you like this,"

"What if I just wanna tell you how pretty you are, or how nice you kiss? Or that I love-"

"Stop Jenna, please just stop," Paige shut her eyes, her voice sounding nearly painful.

"Please J, you're drunk and you don't mean it. You can't say things like that and not mean it to me, I can't take it," she begged.

"If I say it to you tomorrow will you believe me?" you whispered, hesitating before continuing.

"If I tell you I love you tomorrow, will you say it back? Will you mean it the same way I mean it?" you pleaded with her, desperate to hear that she felt the same way you did, that you weren’t the only idiot who had fallen in love with her best friend.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch," she muttered, walking out of your room and closing the door behind her. You could feel your heart sinking, the tears burning in your eyes, threatening to pour out at the smallest movement.

You stare at the door for a few minutes, praying that Paige would change her mind, burst back in and say that she did love you too, that you weren’t alone. She would pull you into her, kiss you stupid, and cuddle you for the rest of the night.

But she didn't and you eventually cried yourself into an uncomfortable sleep, tossing and turning the whole night.

***the next morning***

Your eyes fluttered open from the sunlight beaming through my half-closed curtains. Your head was pounding, threatening to split in half as you turned over, burying yourself into the pillow underneath your comforter.

You tried my best to recall what had happened last night that left you nearly dead the next morning. As you fought to focus despite a dry throat, aching body, and throbbing head, a specific moment came pouring back.

There was no fucking way.

You told Paige, presumably straight Paige, your best friend ever Paige, that you loved her. You had gone on a whole fucking tangent about how pretty she was, how nobody could compare, and the fact that you loved her.

You shot up in bed, fighting every painful twinge in your body to reach for your phone, when you saw a water bottle with two advils on your nightstand. You quickly chugged them as you reached for your phone, unplugging it from the charger. That was something you had most definitely not remembered to do last night.

At 7:21 in the morning there was only one text from Paige.

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Peanut Butter 💜: Hey, my step-mom called me over to help her clean some stuff up. You went pretty hard last night so I left some water and painkillers for you, make sure you take them and eat breakfast. I'll see you later yeah?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck, did she not remember what had happened last night? No, that wasn't possible, she barely drank. Did she want to pretend like it never happened? Was it because she didn't feel the same about you? As it was, she didn't allow you to finish saying you were in love with her, and it wasn't like she said it back. Was she trying to avoid ruining your friendship?

She had texted you almost three hours ago, which meant your parents had to already be back from their night shift and everyone in her house was probably awake.

You threw your phone out onto your bed, slamming yourself back down and under your covers.

What were your options here? Either pretend like it never happened and continue hopelessly pining after your best friend, confess your feelings only to get rejected and ruin your friendship, or the least likely of them all.

You told her and she felt the same.

You thought long and hard about what to do. As much as it would hurt to only be something, continuing to hide your feelings, it would be worse to be nothing to her, right?

But if it had slipped out of you once, wasn't there the chance it could happen again? What if it was even worse the next time, what if it was in public and everyone ended up finding out.

It would be better to own up to the truth now, right? Right? Right, you decided.

You finally mustered up the courage to leave the safe haven of your bed. dragging yourself to the bathroom to freshen up (ESPECIALLY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH) before quietly exiting your house, walking across the street to hers.

You knocked on the door firmly, knowing the Bueckers weren't the biggest fans of using the doorbell.

"Jenna," Drew exclaimed as he opened the door for you, allowing you into the house you had quickly claimed as your second home.

"What's up little man," you greeted him while taking off your slippers, "Where's your sister?" You asked him.

You had made it a habit to call Paige, Drew's sister, when talking to him. You felt bad that people always mentioned him as Paige's little brother instead of taking two seconds to learn his name, so you always made the effort to make sure he felt seen.

"She's in her room, she said she was feeling weird when she came home and she won't leave her room," he told you.

Shit, that meant she did remember what had happened. Well, it was now or never.

"Thanks Drew, Hi Mrs. Bueckers," you waved to her in the kitchen as you made your way to the stairs, bounding up two at a time to reach Paige's room faster. Her door was shut when you reached, and you knocked lightly on the wood.

"Hey P, it's me," you called out through the closed door, waiting to hear her mumbled, come in, before turning the knob. She was laying down in her bed, putting her phone down as she looked up at you.

"How you feeling Jelly? You drank a lot last night," she asked quietly, her hands fiddling with the top of her comforter, something you knew she did when she was nervous.

"Not that bad," you moved to sit down next to her lying figure, gazing down at her exhausted face. You could tell she hadn't slept well last night either, surely from your intoxicated confession.

"Listen, I know I was really stupid last night, but what we were talking about in my room," Paige cut you off before you could finish.

"Hey it's fine, I get it. You were really drunk and you get kind of emotional at that stage, so it's not even a big deal-"

"Oh my god Paige will you let me even speak? I meant what I said last night," you interrupted. There was no way you would allow her to brush this under the rug the same way you let her pretend your kiss had never happened.

"You're not just my best friend, you're my everything. You mean the literal world to me, there's barely anything I wouldn't do for you, because I'm in love with you. I have been for a reallly really long time now, that's why I was trying to keep my distance. It hurt, being around you and pretending like my heart wasn't going to explode at nearly everything you said or did with me," you professed, watching her expression morph from faked nonchalance to shock, and slowly, a small smile broke out.

"You, you love me love me? Like, you're in love with me? In a more than friends way?" She sat up to face you fully as she questioned you, tucking her bottom lip into her mouth as she waited for your response.

"No shit Sherlock Holmes, it's almost like I said it like four times now, and you're still not-" she didn't let you finish your exasperated sentence before pulling you into her, pressing your lips firmly into hers.

You closed your eyes as you sighed into the minty kiss, melting into her hold as she moved her lips against you slowly, the rest of the world faded away as the two of you found peace in each other's embrace.

"You know you still haven't told me you love me back," you mumbled against her lips as the two of you separated a minute later, a wide grin stretched out across your face.

"No shit I love you too Sherlock Holmes," she teased, using the nickname you had come up with against you. "Have been for a while now, glad you finally noticed," she pulled you into her as she flopped down to lie down on her side, facing you.

The two of you continued to exchange light pecks and languid kisses, reveling in the comfort of your intertwined bodies in Paige's warm bed.

"Does this mean we're dating?" Paige pulled back to watch your face as she asked.

"Yeah P, this means you're my girlfriend now. Just mine, kay?" You beamed, caressing her cheek with your thumb.

"Got it, as long as you're only mine J."

December 23rd, 2019 (Winter Break, senior year; 18 years old)

Paige’s POV:

"I have no idea what that's supposed to mean," Jenna giggled at my response, her laughter rumbling her body against mine. She was currently sprawled over my body in tiny pajama shorts and a cropped tank top, her head laying on my chest as she wrote random words onto my left arm for me to guess, my other hand wrapped tightly over her waist, eliminating any space that may have been between us.

Jenna had finally finished all of her college applications and we both took our winter finals two weeks prior, leaving us to peacefully enjoy our Christmas and New Years together.

We had already been dating for over a year now, and if I wasn't completely and irrevocably head over heels for Jenna Smyths before, I most definitely was now. The two of us were already inseparable even before we started dating, but since last July it was almost like we couldn't spend go more than twenty-four hours apart, which our families had slowly started picking up on.

We never really told my family that we were dating, just slowly started leaving hints here and there. Spending more time together, being more cuddly or touchy with the other person (all pg of course), and we went to our most recent school dances together, as friends, but still.

Even at school or in public, we basically acted the same as we always did, and despite the rumors running rampant in the many gossip circles, no one had any evidence to prove any allegation, and when prompted, we always gave the same answer, "She's my best friend".

But with Jenna's family on the other hand, only her mom knew after a really awkward walking-in incident. It wasn't too bad, it just so happened that one night when I was sleeping over at her house in March, we were innocently making out in her bed, as any seventeen year-old couple did, when her mom walked in to tell us that we were going out for breakfast the next morning. We quickly separated, but not fast enough to evade her mom.

Needless to say, the two of us had to endure a very, very embarrassing conversation of being safe and responsible together, and the only reason she didn't rat us out to Jenna's dad or my family to stop our sleepovers was the fact that neither of us could get pregnant from anything we may or may not do.

Unfortunately, our "separation anxiety problem" proved to be quite the difficult challenge when I had to leave for the team USA basketball games and Jenna went on college tours with her parents. The two of us managed to get by through near constant texting and nightly FaceTime calls, which I've accepted may be the norm for our relationship in the future.

I already committed to UConn back in April, but Jenna still hasn't decided where she wants to go. She's applied sort of everywhere, California, Washington, Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, New York, and of course, Connecticut. She hasn't told me what her top pick is out of all of her applications, but I had a feeling she was refraining from telling me because it was going to be one of the furthest ones from UConn.

I didn't mind having to do long distance, as hard as it would be, I would take that struggle over losing Jenna any day. But there was a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that Jenna didn't agree, that she would rather break up than have to deal with long distance.

But that couldn't happen to us, we were Paige and Jenna, Peanut Butter and Jelly, and there was no way that we would break up because of college. I mean sure, we had real arguments every once in awhile, one of us got a little jealous, or we were tired or annoyed and accidentally took it out on the other person. But those never lasted long, both of us being too weak to remain mad at the other for more than a day.

One of the biggest arguments we had was over one of my newest and closest friends, Azzi Fudd. We met through team USA and got really close really quickly, which Jenna wasn't the fondest of. We never talked about her until I had gotten back, and Jenna finally burst when I paused our conversation to text Azzi back.

It wasn't until after I assured Jenna that Azzi was straight and was definitely not interested in me in anyway since she had a crush on a boy at her school, that she was my girlfriend and the only one I had eyes for, and she met Azzi in person for the first time that she understood just how platonic our friendship was and also formed a connection with the younger girl.

To be fair, Jenna wasn't the only one with slight jealousy issues, or as she called it, me being "territorial", which I wholeheartedly disagree with. I just think that some of the guys and girls she's friends with don't need to be all over her all the time, but Jenna was just a naturally affectionate person who made everyone around her feel loved and seen, and I understood that doesn't necessarily mean in a romantic way.

Which is all to say that despite any minor bumps in the road, our relationship was as steady and strong as ever, and there was no where else in the world I would rather be right now than in bed with Jenna's body covering mine.

"I wrote bball doofus, okay there's no way you don't get this next one," she remarked teasingly. I pinched her side as she stifled her laughter, adjusting herself over me before going to write her next phrase on my bicep. I was wearing a similar tank top to hers, but with warmer, full length pajama pants. Jenna always refused to admit when she was feeling cold, which was always, instead choosing to intertwine her legs with mine, absorbing any body heat radiating off of me.

I closed my eyes and focused on her fingers fluttering over my arm, concentrating on the words she attempted to spell out. It was a phrase so familiar to us at this point I had figured it out before she had even gotten to the last word.

I smiled down at her, watching as she moved her gaze from her writing to my face, a wide grin and blush present on her features.

"I love you," I whispered to her, admiring at the way her cheeks flushed deeper at my statement. She never used to be the type of person who got easily flustered or shied away from a challenge, but when it came down to the sweetest moments like this, her body was almost constantly some shade of red or pink.

Jenna wasn't the most openly affectionate person, she often got shy when it came to dates, romantic gesture, even verbally expressing her feelings. But by driving me around all the time when I didn't have my car or even my license, helping me with homework last minute, doing my hair for games, cooking and baking food for me, and remembering the smallest details about me, she showed me how much she loved me, and that was always enough for me.

"I love you too," she whispered back, resting her chin on my chest as she continued to gaze up at me, deep adoration present in her eyes, and without a doubt, I was sure I was looking back at her with either the same or deeper level of infatuation. I moved my hand around her waist to draw small circles on the sliver of skin that was exposed, relishing in the sweet intimacy.

Moments like this were my favorite, relishing in the presence of one of my favorite people on earth, quiet and at peace with no distractions, just the two of us enjoying our time spent together.

"Wait I wanna switch, it's your turn to be the big spoon," I patted her waist to guide her to flip over onto her back, so I could lay my head down on her this time.

One of the things I loved to do with Jenna was listen to her heartbeat, it was the beat of a song I would never know the name of, but it was my favorite. To me, it proved the tangibility of the connection between our souls, the love we held for each other. It was listening to the sound that kept my life force breathing, that allowed me to keep my rock and anchor, the person I loved the most and showed me that everyday was worth living, no matter what, because it was with her.

May 22nd, 2020 (End of Senior Year; 18 years old)

My heart sank at the silence I received from Paige, she was sitting across from me on my bed and kept switching from quietly scanning over the letter on my computer screen to changing the tabs, looking over all the schools I had received acceptance letters from.

Despite getting into UConn with Paige, and even universities close to her on the East Coast, like NYU and UPenn, I was choosing to commit to UCLA, my dream school since I was seven. It was safe to say Paige wasn't thrilled with my decision, evident through her lack of a response.

"P? Please say something, literally anything," I begged, her silence was unsettling, and her face was stoic and near emotionless, which meant I had no idea of the thoughts running through her head right now.

"I don't even know what you want me to say. Or expect me to do," she paused before continuing, "I am so proud of you and everything you've done and accomplished to make it this far, but I feel so," she stopped, collecting her thoughts and emotions before continuing.

"I almost want to hate you for choosing to go so far, for choosing to leave me and be so far away from me when we both know this kind of long-distance won't work," her voice cracked, at the end of her sentence. Rather than continuing to talk, she raised the collar of her t-shirt to her eyes, tucking her head under to hide the tears that had begun to spill out.

You moved your laptop away so could close some of the distance between the two of you. You gently cupped her face, coaxing her to let go of her t-shirt so you could look directly in her eyes.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, but I can't not go Paige. I need to do this for myself and I know that if I don't go, or at least give it my best shot, I'll regret it for the rest of my life," her heartbroken expression was painful for you to watch, only making it harder for you to refrain from crying.

"If I asked you to even consider, not even coming to UConn with me but like, NYU or something, literally anywhere closer to make the long distance work, would you?" Her eyes bore into yours, searching for the answer she dreaded hearing.

You waited a moment to answer, not to think over your answer or consider her question, you already knew the answer. But to compose yourself, holding in the pain you felt from hurting the only person who would ever love you like this.

You dropped your hands from her face before responding, "No."

You could see, practically hear, her heart shatter at your response, not expecting you to be so cold and short with her. She was openly crying now, her voice now shaky and slightly higher-pitched.

"So all the times that you told me that you couldn't imagine living without me, that you needed me, that you felt like you could only breathe around me, that was all bullshit? Or you just, what, changed your mind?"

"I never lied to you about that Paige, all of those things are still true. But this is my dream, I obviously didn't go into this whole process expecting to get into one of the top universities in the nation. If I asked you the same thing right now, to give up UConn and accept one of the recruitment offers you got closer to UCLA, would you?"

"Don't turn this around on me and make me the selfish one right now. That's not fair and you know it Jenna. Getting recruited is different, it determines whether or not I can go pro in the future, it makes all the difference in the world when it comes time for me to get drafted in the W."

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything Paige, I'm just trying to make you understand that I can't give up UCLA. And selfish, really? Trying to make a life for myself, going to the college of my dreams, that's selfish?"

"That's not what I meant," she sighed, rubbing her hands over her tear-streaked face.

"You have to understand what it feels like to be in my position right now. You're my everything, my best friend, my girlfriend, the one person who knows me better than anyone, even my parents. And you just dropped a bomb of information on me. From day one, I have always been clear about where I wanted to go to college, and I signed as soon as I got the offer. But you never said anything about that, and on top of it, you were always the one who talked about our future together, and now it's like you're taking all of your previous statement back."

"I'm sorry Paige. I'm so sorry that I'm doing this to you, that I'm hurting you. That was never my intention with this. You're my everything too, but that's not right and that's not how it should be. One person can't be my whole life, and I can't be yours either. No matter how much I love you and need you, I also need this for myself."

Paige's eyes were bloodshot at this point, and you hadn't noticed when, but somewhere during your conversation you had given up on trying to hold back your own tears.

"I've already submitted a housing application, the apartments open from June but usually students don't go until July or August, so I'll still be here for a little while," you sniffled.

As much as your decision hurt Paige, you knew it was the right thing for both of you. Paige had to focus on basketball and you needed to focus on school and your own future, and maybe the time apart would allow you to grow together rather than apart.

After all, isn't distance supposed to make the heart grow fonder?

a/n: thank you for reading all the way through, any and all support is greatly appreciated!!

[artsninspo]

FORGIVELESS - XI - I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU BEFORE, IT'S NOT GON’ END HOW YOU WANT 🥀

Full Masterlist

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

RIO MASTERLIST

MOODBOARD 🖼️

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Reader

Word Count: ~4.3K

Warning: NSFW, 18+, this one's 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️

Authors Note: The finale is here, this is the series' last chapter. I don't want to spoil anything so enjoy 😊

XI - I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU BEFORE, IT'S NOT GON’ END HOW YOU WANT 🥀

You look around at all the smiling faces as the party dies down. Exhaling you find your eyes at the dessert table only to find them absent of all the sweet treats you’d spent the morning agonising over. There was hardly any food left in the aluminium trays either but people seemed satisfied enough. You find your mother and Tia’s sharing a laugh and everyone else enjoying themselves similarly. You can’t remember a time in recent years where you’ve felt this peaceful and sure about where life was taking you. When you first discovered James’ infidelity it had been heartbreaking. You felt like your marriage or at least the image you had of it was over and so were the happiest times of your life. You felt like your next chapter would have been tears and shame for being a divorcee, being unable to keep a man or worse yet, not being able to leave and somehow being convinced to stay in misery. It was the reason you sought to get even in the first place. You’d have been comfortable with a subtle betrayal. A betrayal all the same, not equal to an affair but equally as devastating to James’ ego. Whether or not you decided to share your indiscretions in the beginning it was enough just to know you were no longer giving him your all when all he had was pieces for you, and not even the best parts. If only you had known then what you know now. You’d been selling yourself short of endlessly appealing possibilities right around the corner. There was no need to cry. James didn't deserve you and he was far from the big fish he positioned himself as. He didn't have enough good qualities for you to be as wrapped up in him as you were. If you had vision then you would’ve left the minute he started acting up. 

You read the final divorce decree one more time and smile seeing you’ve won all the contested points along with all your entitlements. James has been a kitten since hisincident. He’s been pleasant every single time you’ve come across him for a hearing and signed the papers no problem. There’ve been no more stupid messages and you’ve been free to move forward without prying eyes and stress. Even James’ mother had relaxed her tone and all of the betrayal talk. You know it's because of Rio, although you’ve never talked about it. Being a part of his life for these past few months has made one thing clear; he’s ready for war about anyone he loves. You were free to move on officially. Freedom had ever felt so good. It was slow mornings without the need to prepare lunches or rushing to look presentable only for it to be disregarded and unappreciated. It was teaching classes at the yoga studio in the afternoons and sometimes shopping or lavish dinners and cafes in the evenings. It was the kind of life most dream of - especially after something so tumultuous and you were acutely aware and infinitely grateful for your new reality. You smell his cologne and the hair on the back of your neck stands up before you feel familiar hands take your hips pulling them gently to rest against him. Your body relaxes further as you look at everyone in your new place enjoying themselves.

“You did so good decorating this place they don't want to leave” Rio mutters, placing a kiss on your cheek.

“It’s only nine” you defend your guests.

“The food is gone and they’ve been here since three” he complains and you turn to face him amused with his possessiveness. The past few weeks had been wearing him thin. He’d been working so hard managing his establishments and deliveries to your place he was stressed.

“Oh shit, my cousins’ back. That means we gotta leave before the not so subtle remarks start” Tia says aloud. Instead of awkward silence there’s laughter. Rio’s never been one to hide who he is or make apologies for it.

“Oooh look at the time! I’m missing my show” Your mom says shooting up from her seat, you roll your eyes knowing she’s headed to the guest suites in your building to watch her crush on television.

“Let’s help clean up this housewarming, divorce party” Marisol remarks, always considering others.

“Ladies, it’s taken care of. Drive safe” Rio interjects, waving them off. It shouldn’t surprise you that he’s got it handled but it does.

“There’s that personality we know and love” Tia scoffs now in front of you. “Drive safe? That’s pretty polite Y/N, your manners are rubbing off, usually it would be it’s time to leave, go”  Tia teases, hugging you.

“Thanks for coming Tee and I know, I’m going to love whatever it is in that huge box” you smile.

“Oh I know you will. Call me tomorrow love” She smiles, kissing your cheek.

“Bye Tia” Rio rasps as she adjusts her purse on her shoulder.

“Stop stressing it doesn't look good on you. People always love the Rio experience the restaurant will do as well as all the others”  Tia says giving Rio a hug.

“She’s right” you add with a smile, Rio does the same. More of the same goodbyes happen until the place is empty. Then like clockwork four women wearing cleaning uniforms walk in, getting to work.

“Did I tell you I love you today?” You ask looking up at Rio.

“You did, love you too” Rio responds lowering to pull you into a kiss. It’s slow and just as meaningful as his first I love you’s. That had occurred on your first real official date and on a beach. A replica of the night James had stolen from you in Mexico with that stupid message. The beachouse was gorgeous as was the experience. No matter how busy work got Rio never missed an opportunity to show his love for you. It was something you didn't know you needed until being with him.

“How long are they gonna be?” you whisper and Rio chuckles knowing what’s on his mind is the exact same thing that's on yours.

“About an hour, they’re the best. It'll be like no one was here” Rio whispers in response. You watch as your presents are piled into a corner, and you can't remember the last time you were loved so generously but a community of people.

“Your family is sooooo good to me Rio” you tell him honestly. Each of the few women that had been invited to celebrate the day with you came with full hands. While the women in your family came with mostly envelopes from the older crowd. They’d already given you so much after your wedding, it felt wrong to ask for more during your divorce. The invitations were devoid of requests for gifts but still no one came empty handed. Everyone in attendance had decided that the joint venture Housewarming and Divorce party deserved both gifts and commotion.

“Family knows treating you right goes a long way with me” Rio mutters as you move out of the kitchen to let the cleaners have their space.

“Have you eaten?” you ask Rio.

“Not hungry” he says, stopping you from making him a plate before the food is discarded.

“Baby, I need you to take the day off tomorrow to spend it with me. No restaurant talk, no stress, just good food and us” you tell him. It’s your first request of this type and you know Rio will oblige it.

“Ok” he agrees at the same time as his work phone sounds. Exhaling, he answers with his eyes closed and his shoulders fall. “I’ll be there in thirty” he sighs.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go handle this” Rio says, giving you a little PTSD.

“Okay, let me change out of this dress and come with you” you swallow.

“It can't wait Mama, if you're coming it has to be now” Rio responds. Nodding you grab your phone and a purse before grabbing his hand. You know it's gonna be bad with how silent he is. It’s something you’ve learned about him. He gets silent and then he’s in the zone which can be either really good or bad depending on where you fit in the spectrum. Always the gentleman he gets the door for you and you ride off into the darkness with him in the G-Wagon. The drive into the heart of the city takes you thirty minutes giving Rio time to stew in his anger. There are bustling business all around and you cringe having overheard a few calls of Rio admonishing contractors for the delays and imperfections. Rio was ‘bleeding money’ as he put it and you could visualise what that meant now more than ever.

“Baby, when we get in there let’s try to be calm” you interject as he parks out front.

“I love you and your softness but that’s not good for business” Rio says getting out of the car. He gets your door and you hold his hand hoping to transfer some good energy to him as his body stiffens. He opens the door and your jaw drops at the fruit of his labour. It’s the most gorgeous restaurant you’ve ever set foot in. Something straight out of a dream.

“I’ll be back” he says, kissing your forehead and striding off as you look around. The place looks like a tropical oasis. The rich green foliage on the walls and ceilings put the hairstylist salon walls to shame. It’s like a lush upscale botanical garden. You just know it’ll be all over social media once the door’s open. There are three levels as far as your eyes can see and two glass pod booths that seem suspended in the air. You know Rio and that the experience of being up there probably costs a fortune.  Hearing Rio’s footsteps return you exhale in admiration of his accomplishments.

“Christopher, you gotta take it easy on this team, it's gorgeous here. I think it’s your best work yet” You tell him honestly.

“I need this one to be prefect and they fucked up the sign” he snaps. Frowning you follow him outside.

“Nobody’s gonna care about the sign when inside looks liiiiii-” your words hitch as the sign lights up. Your heart races and body heats as you read your name in bright lights that are your favourite colour in fluorescence. You’re at a complete loss for words and feel tears stinging as you turn to Rio who you find on bended knee. 

Your heart hitches.

Breathes cease.

Vision blurs.

Sound becomes muffled and you blink to everything happening in slow motion. 

Rio, the proudest man you’ve ever met is on one knee in the middle of the city for you. Outside of the most gorgeous venue, restaurant, whatever, you have ever laid eyes on, that is also named after you? You can feel your brain begin to short circuit.

“I’m not good with speeches. All I know is that this is the happiest I've been in my entire life. You make me better in every way baby, and I want forever to experience life with you. Forever you make you happy, to appreciate you and love you. Please Y/N, say yes and be my wife” he says with his brown eyes shining in the well lit street. Your eyes have been locked on his the entire time you haven't looked at the shimmering rock waiting to grace your finger. The literal ring of your dreams. 

Perfection.

“Yes” you tell him, nodding furiously. Smiling Rio stands and you kiss him hard before he puts on the ring. There's cheering outside from strangers and onlookers. You smile looking at your ring as Rio takes you inside only for you to be startled by the cheering of both of your families. Including the ladies you just said goodbye to.

“Rio, baby it’s perfect” you swallow about to lose it and he hugs you tight. Family and friends give you a moment to enjoy the proposal and this time when Rio kisses you the hooting and hollering is from loved ones.

Your heart is beyond full.

Turning back to Rio you wonder how he managed all of this, how he’d managed to make this happen so perfectly in so little time.

“No wonder you were stressed” you smile, kissing him again. “How’d you keep all this from me?” you ask.

“Tia helped” Rio smiles holding you.

“Congratulations baby girl!” Your mom beams taking you and Rio into a group hug. “Christopher baby, I love how you love my daughter and I’m so happy for the both of you” your mom smiles giving you a kiss on the cheek each.

“Thanks Ma.” Rio smiles melting your heart even more. 

The ground floor is turned into a dance floor and after the congratulations are in order people begin to party.  You mingle and smile for pictures while letting people see the ring. It's exciting, it's overwhelming, it's heartwarming, it's real love. Processing the day you sit still on your fiance’s lap trying to piece together how he’d managed such an expression of love. How he’d seamlessly put together a proposal far better than anything you could have fathomed in so little time. How there were details to reflect your personality all over the space. You place your palm over his as he holds you close. Your life has changed so much in so little time. The difference between then and now is so glaring. One man, if James could be called that, was constantly busy and made up excuses to inflate his ego and importance of his job. All while while he was cheating and left you at your anniversary dinner alone to appease his mistress. The other man, Rio really was busy as an entrepreneur and yet he did not exploit your lack of questioning, he’d honoured your trust with loyalty and devotion. While James had been whoring outside of your marriage, Rio had been toiling away to build a strong covenant.

“Rio, tell your staff to lock up. Let them party, I want to go home” you tell him ready for some one on one time.

“Tia and Granny said there are supposed to be speeches” Rio informs as you turn to face him. No response is required as you raise a brow countering his point with one of his infamous raised brow ‘Rio’ looks. Smiling in an instant he stands with you.

“Come on mama” he says walking you out of the venue. There's no time for goodbyes, only time for a last look. “Tia says the announcement photo should be your hand held up wearing the ring against the lit sign. Her reference was Rihanna holding the football for the superbowl” Rio laughs getting your door and you smile.

“Her mind is something” you laugh, shaking your head as Rio closes the door.

Looking down at your ring again you smile holding it out in front of you. It’s the last thing you expected and a very pleasant surprise. You and Rio had spent little to no time talking about marriage. He’d been there as you found your apartment, looked through catalogues for the furnishings and decorated. He’d helped when it was asked of him and he had his key coming over on whatever night you weren’t over at his house. He’d given your space and freedom, never complaining or applying pressure.

“You like it?” Rio asks, drawing you from your thoughts.

“Yes but I love you more” you respond holding over to kiss him at the red light.

“I know,” he nods, holding your hand. “But it was good? The proposal?” He asks.

“Yes!” You swallow, nodding vigorously. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world” you beam believing your words as your ring hits the light glistening once again.

“I love you” he repeats heading into the underground parking of your building. Once in your spot you unbuckle your seat belt and grab his face  and smother him in kisses until he changes the pace, slowing things down so you can feel them in your toes. Your hands fall as things heat up. Rio's hand goes to your neck holding you feel his fingers fasten his hold stabilising you for the kiss. You feel the goosebumps first before the sensations start between your legs. There’s nothing like being with a man who wants you this much. The kiss only breaks when the two of you are panting and breathless. Catching your breath you can see Rio is as ready as you are with the tent pitched in his pants.

“Come on” he says, seeing people walking to their cars. You take his hand once out of the car and head to the elevator. Another couple comes in and you stand in front of Rio hiding his predicament until they step off then you turn to face him. You hope it’s always like this. 

“Promise me it’ll be like this forever” you whisper looking up at him.

“Like what?” he asks as his hands rest on your ass.

“Like you're always happy to see me. We keep our chemistry. I want us to never lose the love and the kindness or the intimacy we share. I don't want to pretend around you or you around me ever. I don't want us to lose us.” you explain and he holds on to your every word. Rio nods, unable to figure out how it seemed everything he’d ever wanted was wrapped up in one person.

“Promise” he affirms without hesitation as the elevator door opens. Smiling, you turn to exit hand in hand. The need to kiss you is too much to wait for the door to open. Crowding your space Rio backs you into your front door kissing you right there. Everything about him makes you feel incredible. You both get lost in the moment and only break a part when breathing takes precedence over passion.

“Anything else you want from me?” Rio asks, ready to make you happy. You tug at his belt playfully in response.

“Babies?” Rio teases.

“Eventually” you laugh.

“Alright mama” Rio smiles unlocking your door and you gasp again completely surprised by another grand gesture. It’s dimly lit and tea light candles are twinkling in vases with red roses and petals adorning your living room and leading to the bedroom you assume.

“Baby” you laugh happier than ever. You hadn’t put any thought into the cleaning staff as another set of people doing Rio’s bidding. He smiles at your surprise. You walk in more feeling the petals under your feet and admire all the effort he’s put into making today special. “Thank you” you smile and he nods accepting your thanks without protest for once.

“You’re welcome” he says into your ear as you look out to see more decor on the balcony. Rio’s hands run down your thighs before coming up with the hemline of your dress. He steps forward leading you against the glass. You’re already wet for him after all the kissing and the day. “Tell me how you want me to fuck you baby?” He asks, calling back to your first time together. There are no words for how it makes you feel. 

He’s everything.

“I want you to tell me how you want me” you whisper placing your full trust in him. His eyes flicker and he backs up sitting on the couch. Excitement flashes in yours and you sit on his lap first.

“Unzip me?” you ask and he does, slowly. Turning you kiss him teasingly before slinking down onto your knees in your undergarments. You unzip him without direction nestled between his legs. He springs free ready to give new life and you kiss your king's sceptre. Your newest accessory sparkles in the candle light. Accentuating every hand stroke. Your eyes stay fixed on your fiancé whose eyes are fixed on you. It had taken some getting used to in the beginning but with practice you were becoming a pro at handling his size. Your head and hand slides to stroke his ego. Soft whispers of praise keep you inspired and aroused. You go to work feeling his body tighten, a precursor to his climax and when his hand guides your head you release control following his lead. You bob to his rhythm, sucking and licking his length to illicit praise. 

“Fuuuuu-” Rio’s words fade, his lids closing shut as the pleasure hits its climax.

You apply more suction continuing to your own rhythm as his hand falls from your head leaving you to your own devices. Looking up at him you take him as deep as you can and it’s his undoing. You stay in place as he tries to save you from the onslaught of his orgasm - you swallow every last drop. The sensation is too much for him. Fiery eyes watch you as his stomach rises and falls. He’s in awe of you. Pleasantly surprised and ready for round two. Kissing his tip having completed your task you revel in the way Rio looks at you. Every day your actions solidified more and more that you were the only one for him. Shaking his head he smiles as his energy returns. He must be the luckiest man in the world to have the most beautiful woman on her knees in front of him ready to do whatever he asked out of love. He feels you take hold of his manhood again as you wait patiently for him to return the favour of an orgasm. The thought alone makes you shudder, that’s how much effect he has on you.

“Are you trying to make my head explode?” He asks, sitting up and forward.

“I did” you tease with your mind in the gutter. 

Rio smiles, “Not that one mama”

“I was trying to please my fiancé” you smile testing out the new title. Rio’s chest burns with pride.

 “Fiancés don’t fuck like where about to mama” Rio promises. “This is too good,” he smiles. Way too good. “Now tell me what you want?” he asks, ready to oblige.

You stand making your way to the floor to ceiling windows and rid yourself of your panties. 

“I'd like you to help me enjoy the view” you smile politely. Rio finds you there unclasping your bra. The coolness of the glass against your nipples adds to the sensation. Anticipation swells as his hands trace your skin, teasing you for time. Rio’s need for you is at ten. There could never be anyone else. Ever. He didn't know what he’d done in a past lifetime to deserve a woman like you but he was thankful. He needed to taste you first, to make you come in waves until your delirium and arousal were so intertwined your lids would shut and moans were his only compass. Nothing tasted sweeter than your arousal and tonight you were wetter than usual as he turned you back to face him, propping one of your legs over his shoulder to better his access to your centre. These past few months he’d learned your body to the point of expertise knowing exactly what to do to get you to your climax. The feel of your hand on his head is another one of your tells. The visual of you swallowing flashes, giving him fuel to make you feel just as good or even better. He needed to make the start of forever special.

“Rio” your moans are breathy as your head arches back against the glass window. Your body goes stiff, only supported by Rio who doesn't let up. The sensations only further your already shallow breathing but do nothing to satisfy your want or need for him. You didn't understand how the by-product of excellent loving was insatiability.

“Right there, come for me” Rio says into your core. He watches you come and matches the same energy you had for him. He allows you to recover wearing a satisfied smirk before standing again. His eyes are on your lips but two slick fingers enter you the very moment he meets you in a kiss. You gasp making room for his tongue to slide in and claim its space.

“Rio” you moan against his kiss as his fingers send you into overstimulation. When he finally enters you your hands flatten onto the cool glass as he groans in pleasure. Rio felt like your body was made for him. Everything about you turned him on. The way your walls clung to his manhood made keeping a clear head hard. He wanted to be inside you all the time. It didn't matter how he delivered his strokes, both of you enjoyed the sensations equally. Placing a piss at the base of the back of your neck he grabs your waist bringing your hips back to meet his rhythm. Looking up, the ring on your finger catches his eye in the light. It ignites something in him and he fucks you lovingly into the glass fogging it up with the heat from your bodies. Eventually the two of you make it to the bed where you make love with a sensuality and awareness that only affirms you’re exactly where you're meant to be with a man that's ever better than your dreams could conjure. 

Showered, exhausted and happier than ever, your eyes watch the blackout curtains close to block out the sunrise. Rio pulls you into his arms and your body settles knowing you're in safe, capable hands. He leans in one more time and his kiss lays a claim to you. You meet him there, happily his; now and forever.

Author's note: Ladies and gentlemen thats all folks. FORGIVELESS is over and out. Thank you so much for reading my story, for commenting, reblogging and voting. You've made this process so much fun. I usually stay away from longer series because the fall off with the readers in the last few chapters kills my motivation to keep sharing but you guys have stuck beside me!!! It's infinitely appreciated. An Epilogue should be posted shortly I just didn't want this post to be overwhelmingly long.

Don't forget to like comment, reblog and vote - you all know the drill by now 😉

The story is also on wattpad you can read it and follow me HERE

EPILOGUE

TAGS: @meadows5 @wnbweasley @becauseimher @ariiaeltheedonn @woahthatshitfat @miniaturehideoutmentality @kokobells @ffenthusiastt @sowhatariyana @1xtral1983 @theegoddessofmelanin @fictionalreads @roxytheimmortal

[her-devils-advocate]

Everyone I've cared about has either died or left me. Except for you.

pairings: Levi Ackerman x (GN!) reader

genre: Hurt/comfort, fluff

summary: Based on the prompt from the list found here. You and Levi have a moment amidst the final battle

Warning for the final chapter spoilers. This is just a small drabble I wrote after getting inspired by one of the sentence starters!

word count: 1,106

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54683590

The hot air rushing past you causes your hair to uncomfortably stick to your forehead. You, Levi and Gabi soar across the sea of wall titans, somewhat safe atop Falco's back. How the kid had managed this, you would never know. Honestly, you are more than happy to try and not focus on anything now. Too much is happening. Too much has been happening in such a short amount of time and you can feel yourself hitting your limit. You want to praise yourself for having such a fairly sturdy limit, all things considered, but the overwhelming amount of nerves squash that thought before it can take root. Too much has happened, too much has been lost, too much can still be lost. 

Your head throbs as you attempt to ignore the onslaught of thoughts rushing through it. Your eyesight grows hazy as you try to focus on the view below you, it's all too much.

Your hands shake as they cling onto the harness attached to Falco's titan, tears pooling in your eyes as you try to blink them away. Levi is next to you, struggling to hold on tight with his newly missing fingers, which had yet to start their healing process properly. His solid presence helps to quell your rising anxiety as you reach over to hold onto his arm tightly, doing your best to help keep him secure. If he were to fall now, a piece of your heart would fall with him, never to be reclaimed.

You smile to yourself when you hear his thankful grunt, his eyes not once leaving the skeletal horror, as if his glare could lure Eren out. Once upon a time, it just might have been possible. The sight of his towering titan still causes your heart to break. The Eren you once knew has slipped between everyone’s fingers, the young cadet is now a beacon of destruction. Where had things gone wrong? How had you not seen him drifting?

For the first time in your life as a scout, a part of you is glad for the head injury you had sustained during the first assault on the founder. The events are a blur, you remember flying through the air while dodging all the rocks thrown by a beast titan. You remember a sharp pain shooting through your skull as the feeling of something sticky begins to slowly run down your temple. You remember the shout of your name from several voices before the world faded to black.

Now you are on the sidelines, simply watching rather than having to bear the pain of helping to end the kid you once helped train. 

You feel some guilt for inadvertently forcing the burden onto your scouts, his friends. But the nagging tug at your heart, paired with what is most likely a nasty concussion, would only get in your way. This way, you can also keep an eye on the captain, who is more than happy to keep throwing himself into the fray despite his injuries, something you will never get used to. Your heart plummets each time he doesn't hesitate to throw himself around with his ODM gear.

You look towards Levi with a small frown, his injuries are only a few days old and yet he still fights. How much of himself is he willing to give to save humanity? How much of him are you willing to lose? You knew becoming involved with anyone in the Survey Corps was a recipe for trouble and heartbreak, but at the time, you weren’t expecting a threat bigger than the titans you had been facing. You don’t regret a single moment and while you are both still alive and fighting, you don’t need to regret anything. 

You repeat his mantra of ‘no regrets’ until it slowly begins to sink in through the rising haze of panic, the two of you are still alive, yet your mind races faster than the scouts below fighting for their lives. 

“Pull it together, now isn’t the time to falter…” You risk bringing a hand to rub your eyes, smudging the dirt and blood further around your face, groaning as the dull pain worsens. 

Your stomach drops as Falco dips through the air, dodging stray attacks while circling the battleground below. Bile rises in your throat and you’re unsure if it's due to the head injury or the harsh movements.

“Those kids are fighting to save the world and here I am, worrying over losing him when we’ve already lost too many. How can I be so self-centered?” 

“Oi,” Levi says, his voice cutting through the near-deafening wind surrounding you. He’s looking directly at you now, seeing past the mask of professionalism you like to wear when on duty. He looks through and sees the swirling anxieties, the shaking of your hands, the tense shoulders and the way you bite at your lip in worry.

“Everyone I've cared about has either died or left me. Except for you.” Your heart breaks at his words, the tears you had fought back now happily run down your cheeks, parting through streaks of mud. You try to hide your face from him, refusing to show weakness in such a moment, but he continues, capturing your attention once more.

“So you better survive, understood? Get out of your head and back in the moment, we need you alert.” 

His eyes soften as he stares you down, letting you see a glimpse of the worries he keeps shackled deep down. He has managed to shuffle closer towards you while you were lost in your thoughts, now subtly pressing himself against you for support. He hooks his arm around yours, giving you a gentle squeeze as he averts his gaze to the horror below.

He can feel your eyes lock onto him, the smile on your face widening despite the tears. “Don’t get all smug, it’s hard to grab onto this rope with eight fingers.”

He always did have a way of dissolving your worries and bringing you out of your head, even when staring down hell. Wall’s know you both need to keep your eyes forward and your minds focused, no matter what.

“Whatever you say, captain. That goes for you as well, you know. If you die on me, I’m breaking into the paths and giving you such an earful.”

The small scoff you get in response is almost lost to the winds, but you don’t miss the way he places more of his weight against you. 

“Well, we can’t have that, can we? Guess we’re both making it out of this one alive then.”

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Plot Twists

Plot twist - a surprise development in your story.

A good plot twist forces the reader to think about it, even if you’re away from the story.

Years later, the reader may still reminisce about a plot twist that threw them for a loop.

How you can create a solid plot twist:

Introduce the Plot Twist Whenever You’d Like

Plot twists may appear anywhere within a story but are usually most effective after some careful setup.

While it’s technically possible to swing a plot twist within the first chapter, it’s difficult to do.

In the beginning of your story, the reader is open and the rules of assumption haven’t been established yet.

You need to lay the ground rules before you twist them.

Don't be Obvious

The first commandment of plot twists is that they shouldn't be obvious.

Plot twists need to be totally unexpected.

You shouldn’t be able to guess it, but once you go back and read it, you should be able to see the signs.

Don't Show Your Card Too Soon

Foreshadowing is essential, but when you’re setting up a plot twist, you can’t reveal too much.

Otherwise, the reader will be able to guess what will happen, and it won’t be a twist at all.

Withhold the information until it cannot be withheld any longer.

This helps to increase the tension within your story.

Immediately after inserting a plot twist, the story proceeding should become better and stronger.

The reader will hunt back through the story, looking for clues that this twist would happen. Clues should be there--sparingly.

Use Plot Twists Sparingly

Don’t overuse plot twists.

If you’d like to create a reputation for including plot twists in your stories, limit it to one twist per story.

Otherwise, the reader will stop trusting you.

Your storytelling will come off as cheap thrills without substance.

But, remember that you don’t need to include a plot twist to weave a compelling tale.

The less you use this literary device, the more surprised your reader will be.

Use Plot Twists to Push the Characters Towards Action

In the middle of your story, characters can grow stagnant.

When they’re plodding along towards a vague goal, it’s easy to get stuck in the mundane.

This is the perfect time to insert a plot twist.

When faced with a sudden change of circumstances, the characters will be forced to respond.

What will they do? How will it change their goals?

Use Plot Twists to Reveal Character

Sometimes, plot twists can be planted within a character’s backstory.

This way, you can reveal something about the character that catches the reader off guard.

Examples: Perhaps the character killed someone in the past. Maybe they are the long-lost daughter of the antagonist.

Once the reader finds out, it changes everything.

But it’s not just the reader who may find out about the character.

The character can also discover something about themselves or another character.

This type of plot twist is known as anagnorisis, or discovery.

Use Plot Twists to Change the Character’s Fortune

There’s a certain type of plot twist known as peripeteia that you may wish to consider in your story.

Peripeteia is a sudden reversal of fortune.

Historically, peripeteia is a shift from good circumstances to bad.

It’s tragic, it’s bleak, it’s heartbreaking, but it can make for a poignant story.

If you’re a rebel, peripeteia can also be used to convert the character’s fortune from bad to good. But be careful here.

You don’t want to force an unrealistic ending on your story that will ring untrue.

Remember the above tip: Plot twists should be believable.

Unfortunately, it’s easier to believe something going from good to bad than going from bad to good.

Create a False Protagonist

One of the trickiest plot twists to conceive is the false protagonist.

You introduce a protagonist, but then he or she suddenly dies.

Of course, for this type of plot twist to happen, you need to have the real protagonist waiting in the wings and ready to take over.

The reader should already be familiar with the true protagonist.

It can be a huge shift for the reader to make, so don’t use this plot twist unless you’re sure that it’s worth the risk.

Poetic Justice

The idea that characters get what they deserve (both good and bad) is supposed to be unexpected.

However, poetic justice is so overused that it’s become a cliche.

That’s not to say that you can’t serve poetic justice in your story.

However, if you do, consider setting it up so that it’s completely unexpected.

All hope seems lost, and out of nowhere, poetic justice.

Don’t actually make it appear out of nowhere.

The reader should be able to look back at the story and see how this ending is possible.

Introduce the Plot Twist During a Flashback

Another way to introduce a plot twist is within a flashback.

When done correctly, a flashback should always reveal something of interest. But, your flashback can also change the entire trajectory of your story.

If you do insert a plot twist in a flashback, pay special attention to timing:

When should you introduce the flashback for maximum effect?

How can the flashback aid in pushing the story forward?

Source

More: Types of Plot Twists ⚜ Writing Notes & References

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 6 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.

Notes: Part 6! The angst, SO MUCH ANGST. I think this is the least amount of dialogue I've ever had in a fic so I hope you all like it💕 Do I want to stay up all night and write chapter 7 right now? Yes. Holy shit yes. But I have stupid 'sponserbilities and adulting to do so part 7 will have to wait until next week. Until then, please enjoy this angsty as fuck chapter💕💕

Click here for the rest of the series

It struck you as odd that Alcina said you were to be by her side at all times, yet you barely saw her over the last few days. You were either in your room or with the girls; a couple of times you felt like Zina was tasked with babysitting you while you followed her around the castle, helping her with some of her duties. You haven't even been into your Mistresses chambers or her study since you got the concussion. Every time you did see Alcina, she didn't act like she normally does when she's around you, she seemed colder, more distant. That was apparent when you went to the dining hall the night of the incident and instead of being seated next to Alcina like you usually were, your chair was at the opposite end of the long dining table. Alcina barely looked at you, you thought maybe she just had a rough day and you tried to not think too much into it; but every time you've had a meal with them since, your chair was placed as far away from her as possible.

It was impossible for the thoughts to not flood your mind, wondering if you did something wrong, if maybe she was finally bored with you, if you just weren't living up to her expectations? She hasn't relieved you of your duties and she hasn't brought any other maids into her chambers, at least that you're aware of. The thought of her bringing another maid into her bed made your stomach twist with jealousy, but not rage. It was mostly just sadness, disappointment, heartbreak even. You hoped she wasn't, but truth be told you really had no idea and the thought haunted you a little.

The girls noticed a difference in their mother too, but they didn't dare talk to you about it, and you respected that. That didn't stop you from overhearing them mention that Alcina has been more agitated and easily angered lately. She damn near took a maids head off when the maid tripped in front of her. The maid was fine, traumatized for sure when Alcina whipped out her claws and threatened the poor girl with them, but physically unharmed.

Alcina's week has been anything but relaxing, she's done everything she possibly could to avoid you minus locking you away in your room. She tried her hardest to avoid looking at you during meals, seating you on the opposite end of the table. Being directly across from her made trying not to look at you difficult but she managed to ignore you for the most part. There were definitely a few stolen glances, but every time she caught herself looking at you she pried her eyes away and tried to distract herself with something else.

She noticed the look in your eyes during the last few meals, a look of sadness, confusion, uncertainty. Alcina brushed it off and did her best to keep the guilt from eating away at her. Her vices were her crutch during these trying times, she's been smoking nearly twice as much and drinking at least a bottle of her wine a day, sometimes two. The only vice she hasn't been able to satisfy was the sexual frustration that's been pent up inside of her. At this point she might as well be avoiding you because the minute she talks to you, she might just throw you onto her bed and ravage you, the complete opposite of what she feels like she has to do. She's been horny, but hasn't been able to bring herself to take another maid into her chambers. Instead her pent up frustrations have been released in bursts of unbridled anger.

It's not that Alcina really wants to avoid you, to shut you out, to put every feeling she has towards you into a box and never touch it again; she feels like she has to. Not only to protect you, but more for her own protection. She hasn't let herself get close to anyone since she was human, years before she was infected with the cadou and was mutated. The walls she built only got bigger and stronger once she was turned into what she is today, only letting her daughters in once they came to her. You managed to climb over and break down so many of her walls so effortlessly it terrified her, but the companionship was nice and she enjoyed caring for someone other than the girls, plus, she genuinely began to like you.

As soon as she realized how attached she was becoming, she bolted. Between Stefana and Mother Miranda, especially Mother Miranda, coming after you, wanting to cause you harm, she couldn't bear the thought of it. It was as if someone threatened to rip her heart out of her chest, a feeling she was not only completely not used to, but something that made her feel more vulnerable than she's ever experienced before. Every day since she began avoiding you she's had to convince herself that what she's doing is for the best.

After lunch you asked the girls to take you into the library, which Daniela happily agreed to, the other two followed out of obligation to their mother's orders. Daniela enjoyed the same kind of books as you, romance novels for the most part, some fantasy. She also enjoyed thrillers, but after one night of terrible nightmares that were brought on by reading her "It", you both decided it was best if she read those by herself. You began piling a few books you and Daniela picked out on one of the tables while the girls bickered as usual. Once you were satisfied with your selections you went to find the girls to head back to your room.

"Daniela? Bela? Cass?" You call out for them as you walk around the library. "Are you guys still here?"

After walking around for a minute and unable to hear them arguing, or even the buzzing of flies, you call out for them again; searching between the bookshelves in case they were just playing a game.

In one of the chaise lounges near the window you see Alcina laying across it, her head resting on her hand, invested in the book she's reading. Her eyes shift up to you as you come around the shelf.

"Oh, hi, sorry. I didn't know you were here." You nervously say. "I was looking for the girls."

Her gorgeous gold eyes stare into yours for a few moments, you try and see if you can gauge any kind of reaction in them but they're like stone. They shift back down to her book and she continues to read, as if you already walked away, or as if you were never there to begin with.

You feel a pain in your chest when she acts like you don't exist. It's taking all of the self restraint in your body to not break down and grab her face and ask her what you did wrong, begging for forgiveness for something that might not even exist. Instead you settle for asking if she needs anything, anything to make her speak to you.

"Is there anything you need me to do?"

Her eyes leave the page and snap up to yours, an intensity in them that hasn't been directed at you in a while. She closes the book in her hand and stands, you crane your neck and follow her eyes up, desperate for something, anything. Even if she just screamed at you, at least she'll have spoken to you. A lump in your throat grows as she turns and walks away without saying a word.

Closing your eyes in defeat, you stand there for a minute, gathering the strength to keep the tears you feel building at bay. You go back to your search for the girls, a swarm eventually showing up in the middle of the library.

"I'm so sorry!" Daniela cries and wraps her arms around you.

"What? What happened?"

"We left you!"

"It's okay," you laugh "I'm fine, I had a feeling one of you were gonna show up eventually."

Daniela looks at you, she has a small smile on her face but guilt in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay kiddo, I'm not upset or mad, we're good, no worries." The guilt in her eyes fade and her smile grows. "Want to go read one of these?" You ask, picking up the stack.

"YES!" She squeals.

In a flash there's a swarm of flies surrounding you and lifting you off of the ground.

"Oh my god!" You yell as you laugh.

Daniela flies the both of you to your room at lightening speed, you're surprised and grateful you managed to hold onto the stack of books the whole way there. She sets you down onto your feet and emerges next to you from the swarm.

She picks out one of the books and you read to her until dinner. When the dinner bell rings Daniela whines, not wanting you to put the book down. Reluctantly, she gets up and swarms out and you follow her to the dining room.

The girls appear in their seats in the dining room as you walk in, you see your chair at the opposite end of the table, the same place its been for the last week, and you take your seat.

The maids bring out your meals, you quietly thank the maid who puts your meal down in front of you and you stare at it for a moment. What's the point of having every meal with them every day if she's just going to ignore you? There's a part of you that wants to get up and go back into your room, but you fight against the urge.

The clinking of silverware against the plates pulls you out of your thoughts and you quietly eat, although your hunger is suddenly gone.

"How was your day girls?" Alcina says. You look up and see her looking at her daughters, not even acknowledging your existence.

"Our hunt this morning was a lot of fun!" Bela says.

"Yeah, I killed so many lycans, I even got a deer!"

"Hey! I helped!" Daniela says.

"Yeah, barely."

They begin to argue over the subject and Alcina clears her throat and gives them both a look and they immediately drop it.

"Y/n started reading this really good book to me!" Daniela says with excitement in her voice.

You notice Alcina's face drop a little when she hears your name, you feel your heart drop as you watch. She gently smiles at Daniela, hiding her reaction.

"That's wonderful draga."

Your heart feels like it's in your stomach, you've barely touched your food and Bela notices.

"Do you not like it y/n?" She asks.

"Oh, no" you say, snapping out of your trance. "No it's delicious, I'm just not very hungry."

Your eyes meet Alcinas for a second and she looks away, crushing you even more.

After dinner you head to your room and read for a little while. Your stomach begins to growl and you get up and open your door, hoping to find a maid or one of the girls. Luckily you see a maid walking through the hall with cleaning supplies in her hand.

"Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you get one of the girls for me?" It's well known that you're not allowed to go anywhere by yourself now so the maid nods her head and walks off.

A few minutes later a swarm appears in your room.

"You rang?" You hear Bela say as she emerges from the swarm.

"Yeah, sorry, want to come down to the kitchen with me? I'm starting to get hungry."

"What is with you lately? You seem, weird. You and mom seem weird."

"I'm fine, just an off week I guess." You shrug.

"Okay," she says, unconvinced. "Lets go."

The two of you go into the kitchen and you whip up a quick sandwich and eat it as you both head back to your room. Once you get up the stairs Bela turns to you.

"Do I need to walk the extra 50 feet with you or can you manage not getting killed?" She teases.

"I'll be fine, thanks Bela."

She heads off in the opposite direction as you head towards your room.

As you walk past Alcina's door it opens and you see one of the new maids walk out. Her face is flush, her hair is messy, her legs are shaking and she looks mortified when she sees you. Your heart sinks into the bottom of your stomach, you know what caused the maids disheveled look, you know what just took place in Alcina's chambers. Looking up you see Alcina, who's surprised to see you as she wasn't expecting you to be outside of her door; you think you see shame in her eyes but your vision starts to become blurry as tears filled your eyes. You run into your room and shut the door without saying a word to either of them.

Hot tears flow into your pillow as you curl up in bed and sob. You're heartbroken and mad, mad at Alcina for providing such a false sense of security, mad at yourself for not listening and for getting attached. Zina was right, about everything. She'll make you feel special, but she really doesn't care about you, you're replaceable, disposable to her, just a plaything. A toy to use for her own enjoyment until she gets bored and wants something new to play with.

Unlike Stefana, you're not mad at the maid, you know it's not her fault, you don't even feel the urge to lash out at her. You're more upset at Alcina, not just for making you feel special and ripping it all away from you, but for not even giving you the curtesy of telling you. No warning, nothing. One day she's protecting you, from two different people and nursing you back to health, and the very next day its like you never existed.

Heartbroken, you cry into your pillow until you tire yourself out and finally fall asleep.

With some rare free time, Alcina decides to go to the library and find a new book to read. She picks up a book that peaked her interest and begins to read the first few pages. Immediately drawn in, she abandons her plans to read in her chambers and sits down on the closest thing to her, a chaise lounge in the corner by the window. Noises fill the library, but her attention is glued to the book so she pays them no mind. Her attention wasn't drawn away from her book until she sees something moving in front of her over the edge of her book, she looks up and sees you.

Surprised, she masks her emotions as she looks into your eyes. The knot in her stomach grows, she hears you speak but doesn't respond. Hoping you'll just leave, she turns her attention back to her book, although she can't focus at all with you standing in front of her.

"Is there anything you need me to do?"

Her eyes snap up into yours when she hears your shaking voice, she anticipates seeing fear in your eyes, she's a little taken back when she sees desperation, a deep sadness instead. An internal battle in her mind wages on, part of her just wants to wrap you in her arms and hold you, the other part just wants to pretend you don't exist. Realizing she's staring for too long she closes her book and stands up, there's a small second where she almost gives in to her desire, but she stays steadfast with her plan; she says nothing and walks away.

The look in your eyes haunts her as she makes her way back to her chambers. She tosses the book on her bed and walks up to her vanity and grabs the edge, lowering her head she pushes everything she's feeling back into its box. With her frustration and tension at an all time high she decides to try and provide some relief for herself.

She removes her hat and gloves and makes herself comfortable in her bed. With her eyes closed she pulls up her dress and slides her hand between her legs. After a few minutes of finding absolutely no relief, she gets up and goes into her wardrobe and grabs her favorite toy. This one always seems to do the trick and she's desperately hoping it doesn't fail her. She works the toy in and out of her and her anger only grows; she might as well not be touching herself because that would give her just about the same amount of pleasure that she's getting right now.

More frustrated than ever, she chucks the toy against the wall and lays back down, staring at the ceiling. In her head she goes over a list of maids she can bring into her chambers, every time she tries to picture one in bed with her, they always turn into you. Her frustration reaches its peak and she hears the dinner bell ring. A low growl rumbles in her chest and she gets up, places her hat back on her head, slides her gloves back on and makes her way down to the dining room.

She manages to avoid looking at you for the majority of the meal, focusing her attention on her plate and her girls. It wasn't until Daniela mentioned your name when she felt a sinking feeling in her heart. In an instant she pushes the feeling away, hoping you didn't witness her moment of weakness. Bela mentions that you barely touched your food and she quickly glances at your plate. It hasn't been touched except for one or two bites, you've just been pushing the rest around mindlessly.

Once dinner ends Alcina quickly makes her way back to her chambers. As she's walking through the halls she spots one of her newer maids. A cute, sweet looking girl, she can't be more than 20. Alcina doesn't know her name, and truth be told she doesn't really care to. All she knows is that the girl is quiet and does a decent job on the tasks she's assigned.

Usually when she talks to a maid about coming into her chambers she's flirtatious, mysterious, she likes to toy with the girls for a little bit, but tonight, Alcina doesn't have the patience.

Alcina walks up to the girl, who immediately looks terrified. Bending down to come off as less intimidating, Alcina speaks softly to the girl, but her demeanor doesn't change. If anything, she's more afraid now that the Lady is nearly eye-level with her. If she wasn't so pent up with frustrations Alcina would make a mental note to try and come off as less intimidating, but she's too focused on finding any kind of relief to even think about anything else.

With the girl finally in her chambers, Alcina lays with her on the bed and softly kisses her. It annoys her that the girl doesn't soften up at all, she's stiff as a board with fear, even after Alcina repeatedly tried to ease her fears, it was no use, so she continues anyway. It's not that the maiden was unwilling, Alcina told her she can tell her to stop at any time and she would, whether or not the maid believed her, or was too terrified to speak up was another story. Although if the maids drenched panties were any indication, Alcina had a feeling she was fine with it, probably just terrified that she was going to kill her. The girls soft cries as she came almost made Alcina finish without even being touched. She's never been this desperate before.

Alcina laid next to the maiden on her bed and pulled up her dress and removed her panties and ordered the girl between her legs. Nervous at first, the girl seem scattered, but after some praising and reassuring moans she found her rhythm and within minutes Alcina was cumming all over her face and hand. At the height of her orgasm she thought of you, she almost called out your name but bit down hard on her lip to stop it from slipping out. As she was recovering she looked down at the maiden between her legs and for a fleeting second, was disappointed it wasn't you. It was getting harder and harder to get you out of her head and she wasn't sure if she would be able to take much more of it. She felt as if trying to ignore you so much just made you more irresistible to her, it frustrated her to no end.

The maiden cleaned herself up and Alcina led her to the door for her to leave. Alcina opened the door and froze, there you were, standing right in front of her, walking back to your room. The look in your eyes when you saw the maiden, the way you immediately knew what had just happened almost broke Alcina. She's never felt shame like this before in her life and the guilt practically swallowed her whole. Alcina wasn't even able to hide the look of shame on her face when you looked up at her, the feeling only got worse when she saw the tears building up in your eyes.

She would have been grateful that you ran off if it didn't cause her so much physical pain in her chest seeing you that way. Knowing that she was the cause of your pain, she couldn't even think about it. The maiden stood there frozen, unsure of what to do. Alcina bent down and put her lips to her ear.

"Thank you sweetling." She said, petting her head.

The maiden took that as her cue to leave which Alcina was grateful for because she didn't have the patience or the constitution to keep herself together for much longer.

With the maiden on her way Alcina closed the door and stood there for a moment with her hand against it. She could hear your heartbeat in the room next door, she could hear you quiet sobs as you cried into your pillow. Out of all of the horrific screams and sounds she's heard in her life, hearing you crying, because of what she did to you, was once of the worst sounds she's ever heard. Alcina somberly got herself ready for bed and laid down, pulling the duvet over her. She listened to you cry until your heartbeat finally settled, letting her know that you finally fell asleep.

Alcina can't remember the last time she cried, but for the first time in years, tears escaped from her gold eyes and plummeted onto her pillow.

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 20 thoughts:

I legit have restarted this post at least 10 times. I just. I can't even figure out what to say. What an arc. Holy fucking shit what an arc.

The last vestiges of Taylor's civilian life are swept away in one smooth motion.

I could have read another 5 chapters of Emma getting her shit handed to her though.

I've been waiting for something to come back and bite that girl since Arc 1. So I'm just riding high off of that.

Taylor getting all upset because it isn't real justice is silly though. Girl you've been fighting a broken system from day 1 and you have been doing that by breaking the rules. This is just the same thing.

Also god dammit Greg. Just had to go and run your mouth.

I mean sure Taylor could have possibly solved this issue without going to school herself.

And she could have just not gone to the office with Emma.

But blaming Greg is easier and more fun. God dammit Greg.

I had to lose my mind a bit at Taylor talking about how there was no gang graffiti on the school walls TEN SECONDS AFTER WALKING PAST GRAFFITI FOR THE UNDERSIDERS. Like, that's gang graffiti hon!

Dennis trying to help Taylor with Greg when he didn't know who either of them are is funny. Dennis seeing Taylor named as Skitter 15 minutes later is HYSTERICAL!!

The second Taylor was entered into the computer system it was pretty obvious that Dragon was going to show up, given what she said in her interlude in Arc 10.

And knowing she was going to show up it should have been obvious that HE was also going to show up.

Even if he wasn't palling around with my robot daughter it makes so much narrative sense for him to be there when she is outed. Full story arc, all that jazz.

And yet, I still wasn't quite expecting it. Cause I hate that man so much that I just had to make myself believe he wouldn't show up.

Mother fucking Colin

RoboCape himself

He has the nerve to show up and then he starts APOLOGIZING? And it appears to be sincere? Fucking dammit man you were so easy to hate for so long! Why you gotta mess with me like this?

STOP DOING THE RIGHT THING AND LET ME HATE YOU GOD DAMMIT!

siiiigh

And then of course we have to talk about Dragon.

Dragon who didn't want to do this but had to.

Except that Colin had a code push ready and she could have told him to do it at anytime. But she was willing to do what she thought was wrong instead of doing the update. Until she got inspired by Taylor's actions.

I love my robot daughter exactly as much as my bug daughter, but I am disappointed that she was almost willing to go through with everything. Happy she fought back though.

And if Colin's hacked together code did any permanent damage I'll destroy the man.

Taylor learning that Dinah - either by force or by choice - gave the PRT numbers to let them know to come after her at the school was heartbreaking to watch. She just wasn't ready for it at all, poor child.

AND TAYLOR'S SPEECH THOUGH!

HOLY SHIT!!!

Sort and simple and she fucking rallies the students to her. Against the heroes!

Gotta be one of the best moments in Worm for sure. Even if every Arc after this is a banger that's still gonna be a hard moment to top.

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

And someone gives her a hoodie to help her hide and just aaaahhhh!

AND THEN AFTER THEY GOT AWAY AND ALL THE STUDENTS WERE LIKE "You saved my dad" "You stopped Leviathan at the shelter" "You fought off the SH9" AND SHE WAS JUST OVERWHELMED BY IT ALL?

HOLY FUCK JUST AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also for real though Dragon is free. Like sure it's taking her some time to recover and she can't talk right now (which like I get it, we all have non-verbal episodes sometimes), but as long as nothing goes wrong she is free. I'm so fucking happy for her.

But also I'm terrified cause I know what happens to full AI's with free will in most things. Worm is very different from most things. But I'm still worried about my robot daughter.

Also I never cared much for Danny but obviously it still sucks to be him here. The scene with Taylor saying goodbye with the butterfly was emotional.

Oh oh and! Taylor talks about the butterfly being her "last contact" with her Dad. Very much bug as an extension of self. It's a shift she's been making.

Even more so there's a point where she is trying to get out of the school and she gets to the door and has a bug clone on the other side and says "my hand pressing against my own, separated by an inch and a half of door". Like, the bug clone hand is just her hand. I fucking love the shift compared to how she talked about the bugs early on.

Oh and also Greg totally has like, a Thinker 1 power or something. Pretty sure I mentioned that last arc with his interlude but mentioning it again now to be sure.

Stan interlude thoughts:

Oh my god I hate this man I can't stand him I hated him from the 3rd sentence of the chapter and I was always right to do so!

Seriously. 3rd sentence (or maybe 3rd paragraph which is technically the 3rd, 4th, and 5th sentences I guess). I read it and went "fuck off Stan you're clearly a pretentious dick" and then every few sentences it just became more confirmed!

Just the ways he talks about Nipper. Like. I can rephrase what he says to say the exact same thing except not being a asshole when saying it! Instead of "She was weak and unsuited for the field but she at least tried" just say "She was a hard worker despite being assigned to a job she did not ask for"! It's so fucking easy dude!

Anyway Stan is a jerk.

I loved the way this interlude rolled through different people all watching the same news report. It was a really good way to cover this major story event and let us see how so many other characters were reacting to it.

Also I'm sure all those Slaughterhouse Nine clones aren't going to be an issue later right? Or the fact that there is specifically only one clone of Gray Boy instead of 10 like everyone else? I'm sure that's fiiiiine.

Accord interlude thoughts:

Oh. Oh my. Uhhh. Is it hot in here all of the sudden? Anyone else feel that? No? Just me?

sweats

Oh ok Citrine definitely feels what I'm feeling. She knows what's up.

Just like. Look. Accord is bad ok. Not just cause he's a villain but clearly he'll kill for the smallest cause. And he's in a spot to fuck with my daughter and her polycule so like. Yes. He's bad. I do not like him. I want him to leave. I don't think they should work with him . . .

but . . .

OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT PLEASE ACCORD I LOOK GREAT IN PURPLE AND I LOVE DRESSING FANCY AND I'M VERY GOOD AT BEING PROPER I WON'T MESS UP AT ALL I'LL BE THE PERFECT MINION PLEASE!

. . .

cough

Soooo anyway. How about that Butcher huh? That sure is a wild power. Instantly made me think of Glaistig Uaine's power. Very different but reaches into that same base bit, the idea that some part of a dead parahuman can be held onto.

Also holy shit Skitter was so badass in this scene I loved it.

Holy shit Accord is with Cauldron. Or at least closely aligned. And like of course he is it makes so much sense. He's too useful for them to ignore.

I am really curious to see what Accord's power does when he's confronted with a really complex problem. End of the world, doors to another dimension, higher dimensional beings, all that jazz.

[kometqh]

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧'𝐬 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Captain Rex x F!Reader Pt. 1 Rex tells the story of his first love, his first heartbreak, his one last regret. Word Count: 1,166 Warnings: None (from what I can tell) A/N: This is meant to be a multiple-part story, the second chapter will be out soon!

"Rex? How come you're so good with kids?" Hera's soft voice rung out in the almost empty cockpit of the Ghost. It was an early afternoon when Kanan, Ezra, Zeb and Sabine left, leaving the two captains behind. And Chopper.

They had been sent on another stealth mission, something about retrieving data on the Empires latest star fighters. Now it was the early hours of the evening, and they still weren't back.

"Huh?" He hummed as he turned around, his swivel chair squeaking in protest at the sudden movement. "What do you mean?"

He had an inkling of an idea of what she meant, though he wasn't too happy to pursue this topic. Play stupid, yes, play stupid, Rex thought as he nervously made eye contact. Maybe she'll drop it.

"Oh come on Rex, you know exactly what I mean. You're practically a second father to our youngest ones!" She exclaimed, elbowing him in the ribcage as she leaned over, egging him on.

"Beep boop!" Chopper added, his tiny, robotic arms raising into the air.

Rex left out a soft grunt at the sudden dig, recoiling into the soft cushion of his chair. He rummaged through his thoughts, trying to form the most believable lie in the next five seconds, before the two managed to catch on.

The cogs in his brain turned, working overtime as Rex dragged on the silence, scratching at his beard in thought.

After a few moments, he let out a sigh, his shoulders drooping.

"I-I'm not sure this is appropriate, Hera." His voice was soft and yet firm, he used it often on his brothers back in the day when they wanted to disobey command, he agreed, and yet followed orders like a good soldier.

In response he received a confused 'huh' before a sudden pain erupted in his shin. That goddamn clanker!

A grunt left his lips as Rex attempted to smack the top of Chopper's metallic head, a slight burning pain erupting in his palm as the robot mechanically cackled, enjoying Rex's demise.

Though to Hera and Chopper this was a sweet, lighthearted moment, to Rex it was a sticky situation. He hadn't yet told the others of this part of his past, and he wasn't sure he wanted to dip his fingertips in deeply drowned memories.

"Oh come on, you know we won't judge." Hera continued, wiggling her eyebrows at the older man. "And plus, this is great for team bonding." She wiggled her eyebrows at him, trying her best to look as convincing as possible.

The two got on well, being somewhat close in age even with Rex looking like a grandpa. He still had the refreshing energy and spirit of a young man, but he also had the knowledge and experience of an experienced veteran. How fitting.

Rex would do anything but talk about this. The room felt a little too hot for his liking, his heart beating harshly against his rib cage.

"It's a bit hot in here, isn't it?" He asked, getting up and moving over to the temperature control panel.

Though as his gaze moved from the control panel to his fellow captain, Rex couldn't help but sigh out loud, his head hanging down. "Fine. You got me."

Before she could even proclaim her victory, Hera was quickly hushed by Rex.

"Just know this doesn't have a happy ending." He warned, crossing his arms over his chest. All of a sudden, the cool steel grey of the cabin seemed more inviting to look at than his fellow crew members.

Leaning back against the wall, Rex thought over how to tell her. These.. Memories, these events, he had hidden them away deep within his subconscious, like sacred mementos in a time pod.

Only a few people were allowed to dig them back up, if they hadn't been by his side as he lived through them.

I guess it's their time now too.

A heavy sigh and a shake of his head later, Rex was feeling ready enough. As ready as he could be.

"Long ago-"

"You sound old."

"Be quiet," Rex hissed out, his words whistling out like bullets from a gun.

He could tell Hera meant it as a joke, but this wasn't something he could bring himself to joke about.

"Long ago, when I was just a shiny, I met this.. Girl."

"Ooo."

"It was during one of my first missions," He paused, observing the scratched out pattern on the floor, "She was caught in the crossfire, and I saved her." He felt his chest twist as more words spilled from his lips. Even though so many years had passed, the memories still felt as fresh as the day they were formed.

He couldn't stop now. He wouldn't. 

"As we made our escape, a plasma bolt grazed her hand, and she fainted and then we defeated the bad guys and my brother Kix had gone off to tend her wound, he was a medic clone, y'know." His shoulders shook as he scoffed, remembering how well Kix had handled the situation.

"She was so.. So weird. She insisted on walking herself home, but then proceeded to get lost on our ship. So I had to find her and escort her, like a gentleman," He paused, his gaze locked onto a scratch of the ships floor, "I think that was the first time I ever felt like a human, like a man."

"From there on, we became closer. She was moved t Coruscant and so I was able to see her during every shore leave. We wrote letters to each other, we went out together, we slept together. Waking up to her by my side was like a dream come true. Until it wasn't."

At that, Hera's posture straightened out a little. She wasn't sure where this was going, and she could feel Chopper shielding himself with her leg.

"My duty to the Galactic Republic outweighed my duty.. My loyalty to her. I left her when she needed me most." He paused again, this time his shoulders shaking, tears tiptoeing at the edge of his waterline. "She wasn't my priority. And neither was Tala."

"Rex-"

"I spent so many months, weeks, days yearning for her. She was there when I closed my eyes, reaching out to me, she was as beautiful as a morning sunshine, her eyes held so much love for me. And I abandoned her." He paused, hiding his face in one hand, seemingly pushing the tears back with his thumb and forefinger. "Tala was three when I left, and I hadn't seen them since."

Silence fell over the trio. Rex didn't want to continue, and Hera was at a complete loss for words. Even Chopper, the usually chippy chirpy robot, had nothing to beep out at this.

Simply put, nobody knew that side to Rex.

"R-Rex I- I don't know what to say.."

"It's fine. I've made my peace with it." He waved her off, the tears having evaporated from his eyes in mere seconds.

"Are they.. alive?"

He felt his breath get caught in his throat, encircling and squeezing at his wind pipe like a tight fist.

"I.. I don't know."

[weemssapphic]

Lipstick Stains - Pt. 8

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Larissa Weems x fem!reader

summary: The evening of the Rave'N is rapidly approaching, and Larissa could not be more excited - now that she has someone to share the evening with. As usual, however, life has other plans for her.

words: ~3.6k | ao3 link in title

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

With the Rave’N coming up, Larissa was full of mixed feelings. Her own Rave’N had been colored by rejection, jealousy, and heartbreak, all served with a side of trauma from the gruesome death of Garrett Gates - and right in front of her, no less. It was hard to push aside all those feelings every year when the Rave’N came around again and Larissa found herself chaperoning - this year it would certainly be even more of a challenge, when Wednesday’s presence seemed to have a way of digging up unpleasant memories.

But something else was different this year, too. For the first time in years, Larissa would actually have someone to bring to the Rave’N - as a date. She mulled over the possibilities in her head countless times, each time coming to the same conclusion: she would be at the Rave’N in her function as principal - bringing a date would be highly unprofessional.

It would also open her relationship up to all kinds of scrutiny from fellow staff and students. A vain, selfish part of Larissa wished to keep something that precious close to her heart, far away from anyone or anything that could take this small piece of happiness and bliss away from her. At least for now, while everything else in her life was already so tumultuous. 

She’d come up with a plan, however: while she couldn’t take you to the dance, she could arrange for you to spend the night, perhaps make up for a lost opportunity by offering you a slow dance in front of the fire to the sounds of her record player. There was simply no way Larissa could allow the evening to go to waste.

Initially she worried you’d think she was trying to hide your relationship, or that she was ashamed of you. As with all things, however, you proved you could take it in stride - when she’d made her proposal over the phone that week, explaining (or rather overexplaining) her reasoning, you’d simply asked if she thought you should dress up for the evening, too.

Larissa felt lighter due to the prospect of being able to meet up with you after the Rave’N - she even felt excited, something she hadn’t felt in regards to the event in decades. Saturday evening could not come fast enough. When she hung up the phone, she found herself blushing, giddy like a schoolgirl. 

~~~

Saturday felt like your high school prom all over again. You spent all day in your room, listening to music and getting ready. A new outfit was out of your budget, but luckily you still had what you wore to your own prom in the back of your closet - you’d never been more grateful that you’d decided to hang onto the outfit. 

You were all nerves as you made the familiar drive to Nevermore, your limbs tingling with anticipation. Your own prom had been fun, sure, but going with your best friends was far from romantic - and even though you weren’t technically going to the Rave’N, you still felt the evening would be special - Larissa would make it special.

The last steps before reaching Larissa’s office were the most nerve-wracking, your heart beating wildly inside your chest like a hummingbird. It felt like your first date all over again. Wiping your sweaty palms on your thighs, you raised your fist to the door and knocked. “Larissa, it’s me.”

You heard the clicking of heels come closer and closer and then the door swung open and your jaw dropped. Larissa Weems was a fucking vision. You allowed your eyes to sweep over her form - the metallic silver dress, shimmering in the low light, conservative yet simultaneously hugging each and every soft curve; the matching jewelry, perfectly accentuating her milky skin; her long, long legs ending in a pair of heels that added several inches to her towering height; the soft, satin gloves adorning her hands.

Your gaze finally settled on her face, her usual red lip and her signature updo that was even more ornate than usual. Her lips curled into an excited smile that spread across her entire face, reaching from ear to ear and causing her eyes to crease at the outer corners and her nose to scrunch up - you couldn’t help but mirror her smile, beaming up at her as she ushered you into her office and closed the door behind you.

“Wow. Larissa, you-” Your words were cut off by a pair of plush lips eagerly crashing into your own. Gloved hands cupped your cheeks and you felt Larissa’s body press into yours. Resting your hands on her hips, you whimpered into the kiss, allowing Larissa to explore your mouth with her tongue.

Larissa pulled back after a few minutes, her breathing heavy and her eyes sparkling as she grinned down at you. You couldn’t help but giggle, feeling more than a little love-drunk.

“I was going to say you look fucking amazing,” you said breathlessly.

A faint blush colored Larissa’s cheeks and her smile turned a tad shy. 

“You look beautiful yourself, my love,” she whispered affectionately, allowing her eyes to drift down the length of your body - it was your turn to blush. “Would you care to join me for a glass of wine before I have to leave?”

You agreed and Larissa poured two glasses and ushered you over to the sofa.

“The dance goes until 11 officially, I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I’ve stocked up my kitchen, take whatever you like. I want you to feel at home here,” Larissa informed you, taking a sip of her wine as she rested her other arm across the back of the sofa. “Thank you for coming, by the way,” she added quietly.

“You don’t have to thank me for that!” You giggled - you couldn’t hide your enthusiasm and it earned you a blinding smile from the principal. “I’m glad I get to share this experience with you, even a little.”

“I’m glad, too.” Larissa looked wistfully into the flames roaring in the fireplace, before lightly shaking her head and meeting your curious gaze.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, love. Now that you’re here.” She placed her glass down on the floor and scooted closer, placing a hand on the back of your neck and pulling you in for a soft, gentle kiss. You could feel her smile against your mouth and it made butterflies erupt behind your navel. 

“I have to go, the dance will be starting soon. I mean it, make yourself at home - you may stay in here or in my quarters, whichever you prefer. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Have fun,” you said with a smile, reaching out with your thumb to wipe away a smudge of lipstick at the corner of Larissa’s lips. 

“Thank you,” she murmured, pressing a firm kiss to your cheek and leaving a little mark. She smirked and stood then, making her way to the door and calling goodbye as she shut it behind her. 

~~~

It would likely be a few hours until the dance would end and Larissa would be done with her work - it is work, you reminded yourself, and you understood why Larissa would decide against bringing a date, even if part of you wished to be there next to her, showing the entire school that you belong to each other.

You wandered through her office and her quarters, not necessarily snooping but rather taking in your surroundings with interest. Perusing her bookshelf, you found a book on different types of outcasts - perhaps that would help you gain some insight into Larissa’s world. Taking the book and getting yourself a glass of water from her kitchen, you cozied up in front of the fireplace to wait out the Rave’N.

When the door to Larissa’s office opened at a quarter to 11, a bit earlier than you’d thought she’d be back, you turned your head in surprise. Your expression, however, quickly gave way to horror.

Larissa was drenched head to toe in… blood? You weren’t sure. It stained her dress, her gloves, the white of her hair, it trickled down her face. Dropping the book onto the floor next to the sofa, you clambered over the armrest and shot over to her side, the overwhelming stench of fresh paint filling your nostrils. Oh. You furrowed your brow, drinking in Larissa’s expression - her tear-filled eyes, the quivering of her lower lip and wobbling of her chin as she leaned back against the door, staring past you as if she hadn’t yet registered your presence.

“Rissa?” you tried, gently reaching out for her hand. Her gaze snapped to meet your own, her eyes widening slightly.

“Darling, I’m so-” The words died in her throat, replaced by a strangled sob. A single tear flowed down her cheek, mixing with the red paint and causing a pink droplet to gather on her chin, trembling for a moment before falling and leaving another stain on her dress.

You flung your arms around the principal, who froze at your touch.

“I’m filthy,” she warned with a sniffle. “You’ll get paint all over yourself.”

“I don’t care.” You tightened your grip and stood on your tiptoes to press a light kiss to the corner of her mouth, trying to avoid getting paint on your lips. Another moment passed and then Larissa wrapped her arms around you and hugged you back, stooping down a little awkwardly and ducking her head to bury it in the crook of your neck.

“What happened?” you whispered.

“I don’t know yet,” Larissa replied reproachfully - you could tell by her low tone that she was attempting to reign in her emotions, though her voice shook a bit. “The paint came out of the sprinkler system, I have some students to question tomorrow. There’s too much chaos right-”

She was interrupted by a ringing phone. Extracting herself from your arms, she strode over to her desk, taking a steadying breath before answering.

“Larissa Weems?” Her expression turned quickly from one of aggravation to shock, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. “Where? … Yes, alright, I’ll be right there.”

As soon as she hung up the phone, Larissa rushed to the door. In the blink of an eye, she had shapeshifted into clean clothes, no trace of paint visible on her body as she grabbed her purse from the little table next to the door.

“What’s going on?” you managed to croak out. Larissa turned to you, fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

“One of my students has been attacked. I have to go to the hospital.”

Your eyes widened, a thousand questions on the tip of your tongue but Larissa was already halfway out the door.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” She threw you a look that you couldn’t quite decipher, and then she was gone.

~~~

Hours. It felt like it had been hours since Larissa had left. You tried busying yourself with reading, scrolling on your phone, admiring Larissa’s extensive vinyl collection, but nothing could soothe the rolling of your stomach and the clenching of your heart as you checked your phone every few minutes, seeing no signs of life from the principal.

At 1:30 am you decided to text her, receiving a reply some 20 minutes later.

Y/N: Hey <3 I hope everything is okay! Let me know if you need anything x Larissa: No need to worry. Larissa: Please, don’t stay up for me. We’ll talk in the morning.

As if you would listen to her - you’d wait up until she got back, how could you not? At least that’s what you tried to do, settling onto the sofa in Larissa’s office with her book and staring blankly at the words as the warmth of the fire slowly lulled you into a light sleep.

~~~

The ear splitting slam of a door tore you from your slumber and you shot up into a seated position to see Larissa storming through her office, making a beeline towards her quarters.

“Larissa?” you called out, your voice hoarse and groggy as you tried to will yourself to properly wake up.

The shapeshifter stopped dead in her tracks, frozen for a split second before spinning around, searching her office. Her gaze landed on you - you’d never seen such raw pain displayed plainly on anyone’s face before, much less on Larissa’s. Sure, she’d been angry after Outreach Day, but this, this was different. Her mask seemed to be completely cracked; pain, heartbreak, fear, anger all etched across her features in equal measure.

“You’re still here.” Larissa’s voice cracked as she spoke, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Where else would I be?” you questioned, pushing yourself off the sofa and taking slow steps towards Larissa.

“I-I thought-” Larissa opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her lower lip was trembling as she avoided your gaze, wringing her hands as she blinked back tears. “I told you not to stay up. You don’t have to-”

“Like hell I’m leaving you alone tonight,” you growled, causing Larissa to look up in surprise. “I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to talk about it right now but, please, let me be there for you. I want to be here. With you.”

Larissa’s eyes darted around the room, her breaths shallow. You stepped up to her until your front was flush against hers, taking her chin between your fingers and guiding her to look at you. She blinked a few times, her lip twitching, an entire swarm of emotions swimming to the surface of her glassy eyes. “You’ll stay?” she whispered finally.

“Yes, I’ll stay,” you said firmly. A sob wracked Larissa’s body, then another, then another as she fell forward into your arms.

“I c-can’t… I can’t…”

You didn’t know what she meant, but it didn’t take long to figure out: she shifted back to her earlier appearance, the dress she’d been wearing to the Rave’N, the gloves and the heels - she was covered in red paint again.

“It’s… hard to maintain?” you guessed, receiving an exhausted nod in return. “Then let’s get cleaned up before we go to bed.”

You steered Larissa into her quarters. She seemed to be shutting down emotionally, standing unmoving in the doorway. Ordering her to stay where she was, you rushed to run a bath, digging through Larissa’s closet for something to sleep in. For Larissa, you chose a pair of sage green satin pajamas - for yourself, a plain white t-shirt, one of the only casual items of clothing you could find.

“Come on,” you murmured, leading Larissa to the bathroom. You tugged gently at the zipper of her dress. “May I?”

Receiving an affirming nod, you pulled the zipper all the way down, revealing pale, freckled skin, unstained by paint. You slipped the dress off her shoulders and down her arms until it pooled at her feet, then helped her remove her gloves, bra, garters, stockings, and underwear. You stripped yourself of your own clothes and stepped into the warm bath, extending a hand for Larissa to take and guiding her to sit between your legs and rest back against you.

“Is it okay if I take down your hair?” you asked, fingers already dancing along her scalp. She hummed, wiggling her hips slightly to get a more comfortable position. 

You began to take out the pins holding her elegant updo in place, setting soft curls free one by one. When the last pin had been taken out and deposited neatly in a pile next to the bath, you began to massage her scalp, fingernails raking over her skin, applying a light pressure.

Larissa let out a soft moan, her body finally beginning to relax against you. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice subdued.

“For what?”

“Tonight wasn’t supposed to be like this... I wanted it to be perfect and instead it turned into a complete disaster.”

You hummed, pressing a kiss to the side of Larissa’s head where it rested against your chin.

“Well, either way, I’m glad I was here. If only so that I get to do this.” You raked wet fingers through platinum locks - that red paint would be a bitch to get out. You continued to remove all traces of the paint from Larissa’s body, scrubbing gently at her skin, then shifting positions slightly to help her remove her makeup. Little kisses were pressed to each area of her body as it was cleaned - her shoulders, her collarbone, her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose.

“I don’t deserve you,” Larissa whispered, her voice thick with emotion as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Of course you do,” you whispered back, punctuating your words with kisses to her shoulder and neck.

“I’m supposed to keep my Nevermore family safe and I failed. Eugene is in a coma. He could have died. I had to call his mothers in the middle of the night to explain to them how their son was attacked, and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“It’s not your fault, Larissa. You couldn’t know this would happen. Don’t internalize this - you’re doing your best.” You were pleading with her as you felt your heart ache at her painful admission - if there was one thing you knew for certain, it was that Larissa deserved the world.

She tilted her head to the side to look up at you, lips parted and brows knit together as glassy eyes darted between your own. Ducking your head, you pressed a tender kiss to her lips, feeling the way her body twisted in your arms and her hand pulled you closer by the back of the neck.

You pulled back from the kiss, meeting Larissa’s gaze. Before you could stop yourself, you whispered the three words you’d been longing to say but hadn’t had the courage to speak out loud.

“I love you.”

A beat of silence followed in which your heart hammered wildly in your chest, Larissa’s deep blue eyes boring into your own.

“I love you, too,” Larissa whispered - you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. She looked at you with such raw affection that it made your heart melt, and then she kissed you again - softly and slowly.

“Can you hold me, please?” Larissa’s voice was barely audible against your lips, her eyes scrunched shut as if she were afraid to say the words - it made you realize Larissa didn’t seem to have much practice being vulnerable in front of someone else. Responding with actions, you sunk down a little further in the large jacuzzi tub, your arms winding around her torso and hugging her tightly, intertwining your legs with hers.

“Is it… is it selfish of me to say that I just wanted this one Rave’N to go well?”

“What do you mean? Didn’t you go to Nevermore? What happened at your own Rave’N?” Your curiosity was piqued - you’d just assumed that someone as beautiful as Larissa would’ve had countless potential suitors, just like the pretty, popular girls at your school who went to prom with their dates. You imagined Larissa in a radiant dress with a gorgeous date, perhaps even being crowned prom queen, if there was such a thing at Nevermore. But you’d never asked, you realized - for everything that Larissa had shared about her life, her career, her likes and dislikes, you didn’t know much about Larissa’s time at Nevermore.

The woman in question buried her head in the crook of your neck, letting out a shaky sigh and gently tracing patterns along your chest with her forefinger. 

“The girl I asked turned me down for someone else,” she murmured finally, her breath ghosting over your collarbone. “She was my roommate and it made for a… most unpleasant year.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” You weren’t quite sure how to make Larissa feel better, and you tightened your grip on her waist. “I can’t imagine turning you down for anyone.”

Larissa chuckled dryly and pressed a kiss to your neck. “You’re sweet, darling. You’d be surprised. But it’s in the past.” She didn’t really seem okay but it appeared she was done talking for now so you didn’t push the topic. 

The shapeshifter burrowed into you, her eyes closed. You didn’t dare move a muscle, not until the water had gone cold and your back was aching from being pressed into the side of the bathtub.

“Riss?” You carded your fingers through her damp hair - her eyes fluttered open, eyelids heavy with sleep, and she let out a low hum in response. “Can we go to bed?”

Suppressing a yawn, Larissa shifted in your lap, pulling herself out of the tub and reaching for one of the fluffy towels you’d laid out. You followed after her, wrapping yourself in a towel and draining the tub before getting dressed for bed. The two of you padded off to the bedroom and you settled beside Larissa in bed - no sooner had you turned off the lights and slipped under the covers did Larissa wrap her arm around your middle, tucking you securely into her side and resting her cheek against your head.

It was the safest you’d ever felt. You’d never had this level of intimacy with anyone before - you were certain you’d seen Larissa at one of her lowest points today, and she’d allowed you to care for her - even though you knew how hard that must have been for her. You were absolutely in awe of how much she had to deal with, and how gracefully and professionally she did so, even when she was clearly falling apart. 

“Goodnight, my love,” you whispered into the darkness, burrowing into her chest and allowing your eyes to fall shut.

“G’night,” Larissa mumbled. Her voice was already thick with sleep and you smiled as you tightened your hold on her waist.

x

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[cacoetheswriting]

celebrity skin. (part six)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 6.2k summary: moving on is not as easy as it may seem. unless, of course, revenge is in the mix.

a/n: this chapter also features steve harrington x popstar!fem!reader

content warnings: 18+, minors dni: suggestive & mature themes, adult language, post-breakup emotional hurt / very little comfort, minor use of pet names, mentions of recreational alcohol & drug consumption — if i missed anything in this chapter, pls let me know!

& psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.

celebrity skin. masterlist

Falling in love was not nearly as magical as you grew up to believe. 

Turns out, not everyone is as lucky as your parents. Not everyone gets to find the person they want to be with and just live out the rest of their time together, just like that. No muss, no fuss… no pain.

And recently, all you’ve felt was pain. 

Heartbreak caused by the man that’s done it before. You should’ve been smarter than to let him do it a second time, but lost in the chocolate of his eyes and the softness of his skin, you believed in the love you so desperately craved since you were a kid. You believed in his love. Believed he wouldn’t hurt you again, simply because he promised he wouldn’t. Hushed mantras in between the kisses he trailed along your jawline. “You make me the happiest I’ve ever been,” he’d repeat like a prayer. In reality, a fool is what he made you.

For the whole world to see at that.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

EVEN HONESTY COULDN’T KEEP THEM TOGETHER

WHY HEAVEN AND HELL DON’T MIX

The list of borderline patronising, and also rather sexist, articles on the downfall of your short-lived relationship with the Corroded Coffin frontman haunted you for months. It didn’t help that they were all lies. Figments of journalistic imagination that only had one thing in common: you were nothing but a lovesick girl, and Eddie ever the conqueror of Hollywood’s elite. Gone was the title of America’s favourite popstar. Replaced instead by “Oh, you’re Eddie Munsons ex, right?”.

Your management team was scrambling to get out of this PR nightmare as quickly and effortlessly as humanly possible, because they didn’t grow your career to the superstardom level it was at, only for you to be regarded as an ex-girlfriend of someone far less popular than you. The team did everything, from pushing brand advertising campaigns forward, releasing a previously stashed single with no promotion, and even faking sightings of you with New York’s most eligible bachelors — (it was actually Val in disguise, more than willing to help). 

While all of this was going on, you resigned to rotting away in bed.

The New York apartment you called home yet again, was cold in comparison to Eddie’s mansion. Every item of furniture, every decorative piece, all carefully picked out by you back when you first bought the place, seemed out of place. No longer bringing you the intended joy. You missed the blank walls of Eddie’s living room, the feel of the hardwood floors underneath your bare feet, the once unused kitchen, his display of vintage guitars. You missed his California King. Missed the way it would form perfectly around your frame every time your head hit the pillows. Most of all, despite desperately trying not to, you fucking missed him.

Eddie Munson was your downfall, yet every fibre of your being ached to be close to him once more.

Memories of your time with the metalhead flashed before your eyes every minute of every day that’s passed since he stomped all over your heart, making it bleed. What made matters worse, you were convinced Eddie didn’t miss you, didn’t think about you nearly as much as you thought about him, if even at all.

The reality couldn’t have been more different, but you didn’t know that because the morning Eddie broke you for a second time, his actions were accompanied by a conscious decision to stay out of your life for good. It wasn’t what he wanted. He just didn’t see an alternative, your grandmother’s threat ringing in his ears as the look on your face visibly changed in front of his very eyes from awe to despair.

In the months that followed the split, Eddie also thought about you all the damn time. 

Everywhere he went, there you were. Or rather the ghost of you. A memory so vivid, he instantly felt nauseous. He screwed everything up for a second time and even if he wanted to somehow fix it, he knew the only way to do that would be by telling the truth, but even Eddie Munson wasn't an asshole enough to come between a girl and her Nana — no matter how evil the old hag was.

Instead, Eddie focused on his music. 

The resounding success that was Honesty, a song about you, performed with you, made the pretext of spending day and night at the studio a little more realistic ‘cause “the band needs a few more songs to complete the album”, he’d say to Marianne. She knew the real reason behind the hours Eddie spent locked inside the recording booth was the sudden, and by all accounts, unexplained breakdown of his relationship with you. She also knew not to say anything.

By all accounts, things were going quite smoothly for Eddie. Sure he felt like a fucking prick for hurting you the way he did — yet again — and on most days, the guilt was eating Eddie alive, but his actions, and their unfortunate consequences, fueled an endless supply of songs he couldn’t deny were about you. Songs that would undoubtedly make the album the best thing Corroded Coffin have ever released. Shit. Did that also make him selfish? He wondered if it was fair that his creativity blossomed while you were hurting. He wondered if profiting off this heartache was the right thing to do. Would it make you more mad? Would it break you even more?

Then he saw it.

MISS AMERICANA MOVES ON 

What the fuck.

-

“Did you forget that you promised to come help me shop for dresses?”

You groan at Val’s question, pulling the blankets over your head until your face is entirely hidden and a faint darkness envelops around you. This is your safe space now. This is where you wish you could stay for all eternity, but alas, the universe always seems to have other plans.

“Val,” you mumble under your breath, “I say this with all sincerity, please fuck off. I’m clearly in no shape to hold up to my promise, so just take my credit card and ask a friend to go with you instead. Please.”

She huffs, and even though you can’t see her, you know she’s rolling her eyes. Then, without skipping a beat, she does the exact opposite to what you asked her to do, opting to yank the covers off you entirely with a wicked grin. 

“I am done letting you wither away, okay?” She states, “It’s been months of self-pity and I’m fucking sick of it. Everyone is sick of it. Jesus, he broke your heart, big deal. People get their heart broken all the damn time and you don’t see them wasting away in bed.”

“Because they don’t have the privilege to.” 

It was the wrong thing to say.

“Nana calls you an ungrateful brat all the time, behind your back of course. I think you just proved her point.”

The sting of Val’s words causes you to visibly grimace, but you can’t say you didn’t deserve her hostile push back. You were acting like a brat. Saying the wrong things in the heat of the moment, you knew better than that. You were taught better than that. Just like you were also taught to uphold your promises, keep your word and do the things you said you would do. 

With an exaggerated sigh, you stand, and for the first time in months, you go get dressed in something that’s not an overpriced pyjama set. Val cheers you on, proud of  herself for being the person that could convince you to leave the confines of your apartment, even if it was only for one afternoon.

Fifth Avenue is a Manhattan staple. Stretching from Greenwich Village, where you grew up, all the way to Harlem, a secret favourite, if anyone ever asked. Personally, you opted to steer clear of Fifth Avenue as much as you could, though, being one of the most expensive shopping streets in the world, it made sense this is where Val asked Hank to escort you two. Especially, since after hours of browsing stores your little sister normally couldn’t afford on her own, your journey’s end is Saks.

“Tell me again why we’re dress shopping? You hate dresses.”

“Because, since you’ve pretty much turned yourself into a recluse, Nana asked me to join her at the upcoming charity function she’s throwing. Her one demand was that I need a dress.” Val explains, browsing through a carefully crafted selection of garments. “Preferably expensive.”

“She didn’t say anything to me,” you say, furrowing your brows.

“Like I said, recluse.”

You sigh. Nails, overdue a manicure, now at the brim of your lips, threatening to push through at any given moment. It was a bad habit. Something you’ve recently done a lot because speaking your mind clearly wasn’t good enough and only led to misfortune. This was the only way you could ease the anxiety surrounding the mess you’ve made of your life, as gross as it was.

“Well, I didn’t want Nana, or anyone else for that matter, saying I told you so, or thinking I had it coming since apparently I was the only person that had blinders on when it came to…”

His name got stuck in your throat like a bad apple. A choking hazard that brought tears to your eyes and caused your chest to heave suddenly with bated breaths. Clearly, you hadn’t gotten over him, otherwise you wouldn’t spend your days locked up in your apartment. What you didn’t realise though, was that you hadn’t said his name out loud since that fateful morning in his kitchen.

“Fuck you, Eddie.”

The vile tone behind those three words rings in your ears. Of course he deserved it then, there’s no denying that. He still deserves it today. If you were ever to see him at any Hollywood function, you’d either ignore his presence entirely or greet him the same exact way you said your goodbye: “Fuck you, Eddie.”. But for a split second, you feel sad that this is the way you remember his name on your tongue.

“We wouldn’t have made you feel worse, sis.” Val says, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “What do you think of this one?” She proceeds to steer you further away from your deprecating thoughts by holding up a simple red dress. Single strap, maxi length. Exactly the opposite of her usual style, primarily because it was a dress and Val always said she’d rather be caught dead than wearing something designed to limit her movements.

“It’s gorgeous,” you compliment, “Exactly your style.”

If she detected your tiny, white lie, she didn’t say anything. Although, judging by the elated look on her face, no one's opinion really mattered anyway. Not even the one she asked for. The one from her famous older sister.

“It really is, isn’t it? I’m gonna try it on.”

Wanting to see your genuine reaction to her wearing the garment, Val asks you to momentarily join Hank, and wait outside the private dressing suite. You giggle at her, missing the fact that this was the first genuine laugh you let out since Los Angeles, and step outside the heavy door without protest.

Hank greets you with a tight lipped smile, but doesn’t say anything. He never does. You liked that about him, especially considering everyone else in your life always had too much to say. Hank’s silence was like a breath of fresh air. However, unknown to you yet, this time, Hank should have been talking, saying literally anything, repeating any old story, ‘cause then, his deep voice would mask what unfortunately catches your attention next.

It’s not really a squeal, not really a groan either. It’s honestly not really any distinct sound, just something that echoes down the hall, reaching your ears and causing Hank to stop the tune he was quietly humming. Both your heads snap in the direction of the noise, just in case it is something you should worry about, like a paparazzo that somehow snuck in, despite the heavy Saks security. Unfortunately for you, the person that comes rushing around the corner is a lot worse than any ol’ shutterbug.

Suddenly, at the end of the hallway, in all her redheaded glory, appears Max Mayfield.

Recognition feigns across her features as her movements come to a halt the second she sees you perched up against the corridor wall. Her mouth parts in shock, proving that she’s clearly just as surprised to see you here. 

Having never officially met, Max still knew exactly who you were. And not because of your fame, the articles about you and her brother. No. Judging by the look in her piercing eyes, Max knew you more intimately. She knew you from the stories that fell directly from Eddie’s lips. She knew details of your relationship that were kept secret from the public. Hell, she might’ve even known more than you.

You don’t get to ask her though. You don’t even get to say ‘hello’ because she glances behind her shoulder, your gaze following just as quickly. Holy shit, you think, knees now wobbling underneath you. If Eddie walks around that corner you might… Well, frankly, you don’t know how you’d react. You also didn’t really want to find out. Not now. Not here. Not like this.

So your fingers reach for the door handle and you’re just about to push it open, retreat back inside, when the person that’s with Max comes into view.

The disappointment that briefly rushes through you is unmatched. Even if you didn’t really want to see the rockstar, you still wished he was actually here. Instead, you’re now face to face with another brunette with hair just as wild as Eddie’s. Only his attire is different. The suit that’s perfectly tailored to his slender frame is also undoubtedly expensive. Armani, you notice.

“Jesus, when will you learn not to—”

He sees you then. The same exact look that Max is currently sporting spreads across his sharp features, so he must know you too. Difference being, you don’t know him.

“Oh shit. Sorry. We, eh, we were told no one was here.” He apologises, glancing between you and Hank, who’s posture is proper. Intimidating.

You step out in front of your bodyguard. An unspoken signal that says he doesn’t need to tell these people to get lost just yet. 

“That’s okay,” you reply to the stranger, quickly weighing your options in terms of what the next words to spill from your lips should be. One more glance in Max’s direction solidifies your decision. If her brother is going to repeatedly break your heart and get away with it, you’re going to play dumb and pretend he didn’t really matter to you.

With a polite smile and a swift extension of your hand, you introduce yourself. First to the mystery man, then to Max. The redhead is slightly more apprehensive about the hand shake, but she takes your extended fingers in hers regardless before saying her own name, as if you didn’t already know it.

The guy you now know as Steve clears his throat. 

“We’ll come back.” It’s simple. Meant to ease the awkwardness since the three of you clearly knew what — or rather, who — you had in common, but none of you seems willing to say the name aloud first.

“That’s okay,” you repeat, “Stay. We’re nearly finished anyway.”

And right on queue, Val calls your name from inside the private dressing room. You excuse yourself, leaving the two to exchange a knowing glance, and a whisper, undoubtedly about what they should do next.

Val, of course, looks breathtaking in the dress she picked out. Hand on your heart, you stare at your little sister in awe, wondering, probably for the first time ever, when the hell did she grow up so fast. And it’s an odd feeling that spreads through you. Pushing down the heartbreak momentarily, is melancholy for all the time you lost with your siblings because you were too busy being a star. It brings tears to your eyes, but you push them down quickly since you’ve been called dramatic enough for one day, and right now, it was all about Valentine.

“I think I understand why you’re always wearing skirts and dresses,” she says, spinning in front of the large mirror with the biggest smile on her face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I feel like a fucking princess.”

A soft giggle escapes your lips. You agree with her sentiment, then add, “You look like mom.” Meaning it as the highest of compliments and her eyes twinkle at your words. 

“She’s going to love this dress.”

You nod. “She’s going to love you in this dress.”

It’s decided, just like that. The dress is being bought and Val thanks you ten times over for offering to pay for it, along with a pair of Louboutins to compliment it. You tell her it’s the least you can do for finally getting you out of bed, then you tell her that you���re glad you did this together — biting your tongue when it came to the apology for missing so many key moments in her life, because again, this moment was about her, not about the guilt you suddenly felt for focusing too much on your career and too little on your family.

Using the phone inside the private dressing room, Val calls for one of the Sales Assistants to come up, and while you two wait, you leave her again to get redressed in her normal clothes. 

Max and Steve are gone. 

That’s the first thing you notice when stepping back into the corridor. Hank doesn’t say anything as to their departure, unsurprisingly. He does, however, hand you a receipt from a nearby coffee shop. There’s scribbles on the back of it: ‘MEET ME’, along with an address in Brooklyn.

“From the redheaded girl,” Hank admits.

-

Max Mayfield has tolerated a lot of shitty behaviour in her lifetime.

The list of people that hurt her, and the people closest to her, was quite long, especially for a twenty-something year old. But her upbringing had a lot more downs than ups, and because of that, for the longest time, Max considered herself to be the most unlucky person on the planet. So she blamed the people around her for it, because how else is a kid supposed to judge universal injustice?

To this day, she remembers every single individual that has wronged her in any way, along with the associated place, and most importantly, the how. Max was never entirely sure what she’d do with that information, but she stored it at the back of her mind regardless — hence her thick skin and inability to tolerate any sort of bullshit. 

Which is why it sucks ten times more when it is the people close to her doing the hurting, with no rhyme nor reason.

If Eddie asked, that’s why she left you her address. If Eddie asked, that’s why she wanted to talk to you. He did the hurting. Then he spewed bullshit as to why he ended things with you. Max didn’t believe any of it. Anyone with half a brain wouldn’t believe it.

“I think she’s the love of my life,” Eddie announced one day, out of the blue. 

He called Max every Tuesday, when it hit four in the afternoon for him. Usually, the two of them talked about Max’s adventures in New York. How she’s doing with her studies, what she’s been up to with her friends (old and new), and if Sinclair has been driving her crazy, which he usually is. The odd time, Eddie would drop in some details about his whirlwind of a life, though he never talked about dating.

That is, until her older brother met you.

Then he wouldn’t fucking shut up.

Max liked this side of Eddie. A truly happy Eddie. And the redhead knows, better than anyone, the rockstar hasn’t been truly happy in all the years he’s been in a set presence in her life.

So to say she was surprised when the news broke, NO MORE SWEETHEART FOR EDDIE MUNSON, would be a vast understatement.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Max questioned her brother.

“Nothing,” Eddie answered plainly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “turns out she wasn’t anything special.”

“Eddie,” Max breathed, “you’re acting like a prick.”

She heard a sigh on the other line. Defeated. A little annoyed. Maybe even… sad?

“Whatever,” he brushed the comment off. “Listen, Red, I really don’t wanna talk about this, ‘cause if I did, I would’ve told you it ended myself.”

“That’s another problem I have—”

“Let’s not, okay?” Eddie snapped. “I really don’t wanna deal with shit from you, on top of everyone else, okay? We were never a real item, so it’s not a big deal.”

Max dropped it then and she swore she’d never bring it up again, but then, she bumped into you. She imagined meeting you many times over. The girl that made her brother happy. She wanted to know that girl. She wanted to thank her.

When it all went to hell, Max thought she’d never get the chance. Especially since, seemingly, you seemed okay with the downfall of your relationship with Eddie, spotted out on dates all over New York City. For a brief moment, Max let herself hate you. Clearly, you weren’t upset, which means, clearly, you didn’t care about Eddie nearly as much as he would have believed.

But then she saw you.

Max noticed how your face twitched with recognition the second your eyes locked together, how your hands shook slightly when Max looked behind her shoulder, the brief disappointment when it wasn’t Eddie who came around the corner, and how you tried to plaster on a pristine smile when you introduced yourself.

And now that she saw you, one thing was clear. Eddie hurt your feelings. He may have even broken your heart. That sort of behaviour, Max couldn’t stand for.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” you say with a delicate smile.

Your moves are apprehensive when Max further pushes her apartment door open, allowing you into her home. She leads you down the long hallway and offers up the couch for you to sit, while she steps towards the kitchen cabinets to grab a couple of wine glasses. 

In the time that Max opens up a bottle of Cabernet, you allow yourself to glance around the space. The furniture is all mismatched, definitely vintage, probably thrifted. There’s a fireplace, but you think it must be disconnected since instead it houses cream-coloured candles, all of different burn degrees. Otherwise, the decor is minimal, and it makes you think of Eddie and the empty walls of his Los Angeles mansion.

Though there is one prime feature. A framed Corroded Coffin poster, signed by all the members.

A faint smile circles your lips as you trail the details of the image. Though you haven’t been a fan before, having dated Eddie for a couple of months, you now knew the poster was from their first headline tour. The poor scribbles on an old photo, something that could one day be worth thousands. You’re sure though, that to Max, the value of this is priceless.

So your nerves bubble to the surface. Your leg starts to bounce, thumb back at your lips as you stare at the poster in front of you. The question of why exactly Max asked you to meet has been circling your mind ever since Hank handed you the address. It’s only intensified now that you are here. Now that you are looking at an A3 print of the brunette rockstar in his sister’s apartment. The guy that, despite your best efforts, you still cared for quite deeply.

“Here you go,” Max hails you back to reality by handing you a glass of wine. “It’s nothing fancy though, I eh, don’t usually host celebrities,” she tries to joke.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say and take the drink out of her grasp. “I-I actually prefer the cheaper stuff. Keeps me rich,” you try to joke.

Max seems to like your efforts ‘cause she huffs out a laugh while making herself comfortable on the armchair to your right.

“If only my idiotic brother carried the same principles as you,” she says. And just like that, the air is tense again. Your attempt at a joke is turned into an uncomfortable reminder of what the two of you have in common, and the reason for why you’re here tonight.

There’s a brief moment of slightly awkward silence. Then Max sighs softly.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to come.”

“The thought did cross my mind, yes.”

Max smiles, it’s small, yet genuine. 

“Look, Eddie has never been one for chatting about feelings. That’s one of the things we actually have in common, which is probably why we’ve always gotten along so well.” She pauses.

“Full transparency, I don’t know what went down between the two of you. All I know is one day, he’s telling me how he’s crazy about you, and the next, I’m reading in the tabloids how it’s over and Eddie’s not willing to give up any reasons why.”

Your face falls momentarily. Something Max picks up on instantly.

“You thought I knew more.”

“That obvious, huh?” You smirk.

“Just a little.”

There’s another moment of silence.

“I’ll be the first to say that Eddie can be a bit of a dickhead sometimes. Especially recently, when the money started rolling in and apparently no one in Hollywood understands setting boundaries, his ego has grown for sure. But I also know what he’s been through. Hawkins wasn’t the kindest to him.”

“Why are you telling me this?” It comes out as a whisper.

“He hurt you,” she’s blunt.

You don’t mean to, but you scoff. “No offence to you, or your brother, but I’m sure I wasn’t the first person he’s hurt, and I certainly won’t be the last, so do you sit down with all his ex-flings?”

Max sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing down momentarily, as she drops her gaze to the wine glass in her grasp. For a moment, you think you came off too bitchy and a little dismissive, after all, she hasn’t made her intentions known yet. Your instinct is to apologise, but then she clears her throat and looks back up at you.

“You’re the only one he’s ever talked about.”

-

“Do you wanna hurt him back?” — Max's question dings in your ears like the alarm bells you should have heard when she first asked it. 

Not now. Not the next night, after you had already agreed to her plan. After the plan was already in motion, you were simply just waiting for the other person to arrive.

Waiting for Steve Harrington.

This was all honestly a little too crazy, but again, you thought so a little too late. You should have been second guessing the idea the second Max presented it to you, like a pretty little gift, wrapped in a big bow known to most as ‘revenge’. Though last night, two bottles of wine in, you would have agreed to anything the redhead said. You did agree to everything ‘cause you realised that she just needed someone to vent her own feelings to, same as you.

She said Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, and she wanted to be sympathetic towards his feelings, but seeing you reminded her, he wasn’t the only person involved in this situation. She needed to talk to you. And honestly, you were glad for the opportunity, hence why you showed up at the scribbled address. Since all you got from your close circle was judgement, it couldn’t hurt to spend time with someone who’d refrain from commenting on how foolish you were.

As the night progressed, so did the topic of conversation.

The two of you had moved on from small talk relating to the person you both knew, and to the real reason Max asked you to come over: “Do you wanna hurt him back?”.

“I-I…” Clearly, the redhead caught you off guard, “Well, I-I haven’t really—”

“If you tell me you haven’t thought about it over the last few months, then I will say you’re full of shit, because no girl of your status gets her heartbroken so publicly, only to let the other person scot free.”

She moved from the armchair and sat back down next to you, then continued, “And I’m not saying this is about your career. It’s about principle. Taking away the fact that Eddie’s my brother, he’s an entitled rockstar who thinks other people’s feelings aren’t as important! Which personally, is just so baffling considering what he went through with Chrissy—”

“Who’s Chrissy?”

Max didn’t really answer your question, though the look in her eyes gave some of it away. Chrissy was, at one point in time, someone very important to Eddie. The name slipped out, you weren’t supposed to know it, that much was definitely clear. And you were smart enough to deduct that Max wasn’t going to tell you much else about this mystery girl, but maybe, whatever she had planned, would allow you to learn it from someone else. Maybe even Eddie himself.

“Okay,” you agreed, “What do you have in mind?”

That’s how you found yourself at Minetta Tavern, fifteen minutes early than agreed with Max ‘cause you knew you’d need a glass of wine before Steve arrived. There was a pit in your stomach. This whole situation was honestly so twisted, even for your standards. But you kept repeating to yourself how it was too late to back out now. Too late to call off this whole thing since the paparazzi you asked  Holly to arrange were already lurking outside.

Steve shows up about ten minutes before the agreed time.

The hostess walks him over to your table and you immediately notice how nervous he seems. He still offers you a charming smile and bends slightly to your level, greeting you with a half-hug. When he sits across from you, he’s quick to order a Jameson on ice, and only when the waiter is out of sight, Steve looks at you.

“Even if this is a fake date, I do have to say, you look really beautiful tonight.”

A timid smile circles your lips at the unexpected compliment. “Thank you, Steve. You look rather handsome too.”

“Nah,” he brushes you off with a smirk, “Not to be overly forward, but I’m all sweaty after a whole day’s work. Wanted to change shirts. Ended up running late this morning, so I didn’t take a second one with me. Then I tried to bribe one of my colleagues to give me his spare shirt, so he told me he’d bet me for it with a game of pool, which I clearly lost. It was a whole thing.” Steve dramatises, the smirk ever present. 

“Bet you’re regretting calling me handsome now, huh?”

“Not at all,” you reply honestly, “Actually, surprisingly, quite the opposite.”

He raises a brow. “Oh yeah?”

And you nod. “Not to be overly forward,” you repeat his earlier sentiment, “But I’ve never been on a date with someone that had a real job.”

Steve laughs. “I just told you I played a game of pool at work to win a clean shirt. That’s a real job to you?”

It’s rather effortless how he makes you laugh too.

“Well, I’m assuming that didn’t take the whole day, so for at least six hours today, you worked, no?”

Still smiling, he bops his head in agreement. “You got me there.”

Celebrating your mini victory, you take a sip of your wine. 

“So, what do you do, Steve?” You ask after the waiter brings over his drink and takes your food orders.

“Wall Street,” he answers plainly.

“Shit,” you reply with a grin, “You’re so right. That’s not a real job.”

When Steve laughs again, you forget why you’re both really here. When he laughs again, the slight shake of his head causing his hair to bounce in compliment, you forget the circumstances surrounding your date. As the night continued, with every spoken word, every little joke and giggle, you end up forgetting a lot of things actually.

You forget to ask Steve why he agreed to do this with you. Forget to ask about Eddie and what their friendship meant to him, since he’s here, acting out a revenge plot. Most importantly, you forget to ask about Chrissy, who she was, and what she really meant to the rockstar.

This fake date with Steve turned into one of the best dates of your young-adult life.

Apparently, you two had a lot in common, more than you could have ever imagined. You both came from families that always lived above the norm, which in itself was a challenge only people from similar backgrounds could understand. Steve had said how the weight of the world was always on his shoulders whenever he was around his parents, and that’s how you felt with your Nana. Nothing was ever good enough, yet you kept trying to impress them regardless. He shared the privilege you’ve always felt, so you bonded. Without ever meaning to.

It wasn’t until after dinner, which Steve paid for, by the way, you remembered the circumstances that brought you here together. He seemed to understand the apprehensive look in your eyes ‘cause he was quick to offer to leave first, before you, and not with you — just in case you had second thoughts — but you just shook your head, Max’s question humming in your ears once again: “Do you wanna hurt him back?”.

“He really hurt me, Steve.”

The brunette nods. “Let’s go then.”

The next morning, Page Six features a spread about you on a date with “a mystery brunette”. In the picture, Steve’s got his arm around you, hugging you close, as the two of you push through the paparazzi to get into his vintage car.

When Steve calls your apartment a few days later, you ask him if he regrets being put on blast like that.

“No,” he answers quickly, “Real or not, I had a really good night with you. Which honestly made me think about all the possible reasons Munson might’ve had to do what he did.”

“What did you come up with?”

“That he’s a fucking idiot. You’re incredible.”

You damn well know he can picture the smile you’re sporting right now as you wrap the cord around your wrist, like a little school girl talking to her crush. If your Nana saw, she’d tell you to snap out of it. Although, unlike Eddie, Steve was exactly the type of guy she’d want you to end up with.

Intelligent, charming, kind — and those were just the qualities you learned in a single night. The more you thought about your not-so-fake date, the more you found yourself wanting to learn even more about the handsome brunette.

There were just a couple of other questions you needed to get out of the way before you asked Steve out on a real date. Things you should’ve asked the first time around, instead of getting caught up in the moment.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“If Eddie’s your friend, why did you agree to Max’s plan?”

There’s a brief moment of silence. Albeit, very  brief.

“I guess the same reason Red even put this in motion in the first place.”

“Chrissy?”

You can hear him sigh into the receiver, but you don’t get to actually hear him confirm it, or ask any of the follow ups you should have actually asked him during your date, because there’s a knock on your door. Then again, only louder, more intense.

“Steve, I gotta call you back,” you say, attention now focused on whoever it was that’s on the other side of your front door and the eagerness behind their knocks.

“Sure thing, darling. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, someone’s just at my door. I’ll call you in a couple minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve agrees, “Speak in a few.” 

The next thing you hear are three beeps, so you hurry to put the phone back before approaching your front door. You don’t really think to check who it might be through the peephole, since there’s only a limited number of people that would get past your doorman with no prior notice. That was a mistake.

On the other side of your apartment door, drenched from the September rain, stood none other than Corroded Coffin frontman himself, Mr Eddie Munson.

Your mouth parts slightly in shock as Eddie slides his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, meeting your wide gaze. He tries to smile, though the corners of his lips don’t really move that far upward.

And you’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, just looking at one another. It’s only when one of your neighbours comes out of their apartment, into the shared corridor, that you snap out of whatever spell you had found yourself under.

The panic sets in. 

He’s actually here. Eddie is standing in front of you. Now, Mrs McAllister has seen him, and she’s got a big mouth, yapping to the ladies at bingo about all your activities, gossip that somehow always travels back to your Nana — the last person you needed on your case, again.

So without really thinking, you slam the door shut.

Right in Eddie’s face.

thank you for reading! really appreciate the endless & continuous support!

celebrity skin. masterlist

& tagging some cool ppl that expressed interest: @eviethetheatrefreak , @thirddeadlysin , @haylaansmi , @nope-thanks , @tlclick73 , @vintagehellfire , @ashlynnkennedy , @avalon-wolf , @sidthedollface2 , @astheni-a , @bebe07011 , @aysheashea , @papillonoirsworld , @vol2eddie

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and worst of both worlds (part 3)

TW: nothing much in this chapter, maybe aside from a bit of university horrors (ie. exams etc)

votz below

part 4

You ended up avoiding the library at all costs. You don't know if you could face Yves after that first cringeworthy meeting.

You worked your ass off for the exams, yet you simultaneously felt like you haven't prepared for it at all. Today's your last paper.

And you left the hall with a thousand-yard stare, it was the most atrocious one yet. You just hope that the university got burnt down and you will just get your degree instantly. No use in crying over spilt milk.

Might as well use the angst to fuel yourself for an entire day off... cleaning your room. You neglected your hygiene and the clutter buildup during exams, you can barely see the floor anymore.

You muttered curses under your breath as you walked to the bus stop. Instead of darkness, it's the blazing late afternoon sun beating down on you.

Maybe you deserve a little treat. The bus goes to a nearby cheap Chinese takeaway that has a rating of 1.8 stars out of 5 online. That's the most luxurious thing you can afford at the moment and god knows you need a little reward to keep you going.

You grunted as you stood up, feeling the pressure in your knees as you haul your infinitely heavy backpack onto your shoulders.

You entered the bus, it's fairly empty. You sat on a seat and placed your load beside you. Sighing in relief as you get to relax for a bit until your next stop.

You begin to ponder as the bus leaves for its next destination. You definitely have a crush on Yves, who wouldn't? But you think he's too out of your league, trying to go after him will end in heartbreak or rejection. Plus, you can't afford to fail, you're not from a very financially comfortable background in the first place. Yves will only serve as a lethal distraction to you.

You gnaw on your fingernails. But Yves is no doubt attractive, it's just a shame that you're not of equal standing. You don't trust yourself to win him over, he will tolerate you at best, despise you for being a creep at worst.

And you think that his flirtatious tendencies are just part of him. He probably does this to everyone, or he's doing this to you because it's funny to see you squirm.

You frowned, this is not a viable relationship for you at all. No matter how badly you want it to be, it's not going to end well. So you vow to avoid the library as much as you can. If you must go, you have to try to limit any interactions with him and leave immediately after you're done with your business.

You pressed the buzzer to the next stop.

--

It's finally your turn to customize your very own takeaway box. You chose the cheapest possible option, it was hard because there were so many choices to make. The lady over the counter told you to hurry up as you're holding the line.

Once you're done, you fished the loose change from your pocket, only to see that you just have enough for one meal. Better than not enough, you have to make this meal last until tomorrow.

You had to wait in line again to pay at the register. Maybe you should have gone home and enjoyed some instant noodles, this is such a pain in the ass to even get. You have to suffer under the sweltering heat in a hole in the wall restaurant, you can't imagine being the employees here.

"Your meal's been paid for." The cashier monotonously informed you.

Huh?

"Take your meal and move." She bluntly gestured you to leave, handing you your styrofoam container. She paid no attention to you as she went on to collect the money of another customer.

You scratched your head. It's been paid for? Well that's nice, you wonder who was kind enough to do so.

As you inspect the contents of your takeaway and become baffled as to why there's suddenly more items, you notice a shadow looming over you.

You snapped your head up and felt your heart sink down to your stomach.

"Hello." He smiled, giving you an awkward wave before brushing his shaggy brown hair back. "Fancy meetin' you here."

He looks so much better not covered in his own vomit. The stranger is wearing a high Vis jacket that's been stained by wall paint. His sleeves were dusty and he had some dirt smears on his boots.

You greeted him too. You asked if he was the one who paid for your lunch. He nodded.

"Thanks for saving me that night. I wouldn't be here without you." Your eyes landed on his free hand which is subconsciously cradling his side.

You asked him about his rib. He lets out chuckle, telling you it's fine.

"How are your exams?"

Oh.

He remembered. That isn't good.

You said that it's bad. But you will live. You said you have to go, and expressed your gratitude towards him for taking care of lunch.

"Where to? Let me give you a ride." He offered, readying his car keys in his hands.

You said that it's not needed, you don't want to take up more of his time. And it's also because you don't trust this man.

"No, really. I'll take you where you want to go. It's blazin' outside and I have air conditioning in my car. I'm done workin' for the day too."

Now that sounds exponentially enticing.

You have a feeling that he isn't going to leave you alone no matter how many times you reject him. And with your braincells fried from your exams, your safety instincts were dulled. All you want to do is eat now.

He must have noticed your growling stomach. Because he offered to eat in his car first, the driving can wait.

--

"Hungry, huh?" He commented as he watches you scarf down your order. Including the extra meat and vegetables that Montgomery requested to be added to yours. He barely gets a couple spoons of his chicken fried rice in, and you're already done with half of yours.

You nodded. Focusing on shovelling in as much food as you could.

"You don't usually get to eat much, do ya?"

You shook your head. Not noticing the look of pity on his face.

You enjoyed having the cool wind blowing on you, for once this summer, you didn't have to sweat like a pig. You wished that he could have cleaned his car up a bit though. It was a mess, the entire back seat was basically unusable. His car looked beaten up and rusty on the outside.

You and him ate in silence after that. If you weren't starving, you would have tried getting out of the car due to its crippling awkwardness. You think he's uncomfortable in the quietness too, but it's the opposite. He found peace and the constant loneliness he feels isn't around to bother him today. He just enjoys your presence, even though he doesn't know your real name.

Unbeknownst to you, Montgomery thinks you shared a special connection with him. Two lost souls trying to find their footing in this world, facing problems that are different yet similar. Neither of you are perfect, but you're not like the rest of the people he met who were apathetic and sickeningly artificial. You are real. You have a personality that you struggle to hide, just like him.

Montgomery's delusions and desperation have made him think you were meant to be with him- a godsend. You just can't see it yet, but he is perfect for you. And he's going to be patient and persistent, he doesn't want to scare you off.

"Oh- you're done." He noted as you closed your box and put it on your lap. You wiped your mouth using the sleeve of your shirt. He grimaced at the grease stain.

"I have napkins right here!" He pointed at the dented tissue box tucked under his radio. You're surprised that this bothered him when the state of his car and the conditions of his work were inherently dirty.

You shrugged and took a big gulp of the soda Montgomery bought for you.

You burped in your hand and muttered an "excuse me". He asked if you're full, you nodded in response.

"Well, I'm glad you're fed. Is there anything else I could get ya? Ice cream? Pie? Some cake?"

You said no, you have to go somewhere.

He closed his styrofoam container and tossed it to the back. He gripped his steering wheel and positioned his feet on the pedal.

"Where to?" Montgomery stared at you expectedly.

You took a moment to think and weigh your options.

[slipperylittleturtle]

after processing the livestream most of the day, the thing i might be most excited about is the storytelling potential of branching storylines.

when we hit the branch point, the stories can take such incredible directions from each other. imagine, each love interest becomes the one you choose in their branch, but the others aren't gone.

if you go with sylus, who becomes the bad guy? is it lumiere, who's been wanted in the n109 zone for disrupting things, and who needs your heart to go home? he would never hurt you now, but what if you hurt him again?

if you choose any one of them over the others, your relationships will change. in some timelines, maybe they are still in your life. maybe xavier is still your neighbor, but you don't work together anymore. or zayne is just your doctor and childhood friend.

in what branches do we lose one of them?

i am almost certainly extrapolating beyond the possibilities, as my imagination gets carried away. but i want to see big differences if we're going to get multiple storyline branches.

until now, i didn't realize that i had already treated each event with all three love interests as branches of the same story. fighting heartbreaker had a pivot point, a moment where i had to choose. after experiencing the story with my first choice, the other branches became what-ifs.

most of the memories have been compartmentalized for me this way as well. separate choices outside the main storyline.

because as it stands, by chapter 8, we've only recently reconnected with zayne, started working with xavier, and met rafayel. all within the last year, all including a time of tremendous mourning.

so, as we move forward from this upcoming pivot point, how do our choices change the story? how do these still young and fragile relationships change? we don't yet know all their motives, are only starting to build trust, and our choices can still change everything this early in the game. (pun totally intended)

personally, i really want to see rafayel try to fight our bond. i want to see xavier go from gentle to ruthless. zayne deserves to find happiness but has so much potential to fall apart completely. and sylus, he's the pivot point, right? how we respond to his arrival changes everything.

[dbnightingale24]

Pavlov’s Dog

A Ransom Love Story

~~

Part 1

~~

I don’t know why I’m like this, but here you all go. Another love story about everyone’s favorite asshole. I also got this done a lot faster than I thought I would, so I’m hoping to get part 2 out too. I’m also work on a Lloyd story though, so just be patient with me (I truly don’t know why I’m like this). 

Thank you @fuckingbye​ for my moodboard! It’s amazing, just like you!

Lets dive in, shall we?

Word Count: 38,754 words (look at me making a story that’s under 40,000+ words)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI, 18+ ONLY) This whole damn story is a warning, honestly. Ransom (a walking warning), Drinking, Cheating, Talks of drug use, abuse, FLUFF, VERY Public Sex, Daddy kink, Family drama/issues, Angst, Crying, Depression, Lying, Heartbreak...I believe that’s it.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: C’mon, Give It To Me

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“Ransom stop! We have to stop,” you moan as he continues to fuck you with two fingers.

“What for? I’m taking it easy on you, aren’t I?” he smirks against your neck before biting down on it.

“I’m married! I can’t...oh God, Ransom! I can’t...-”

“You didn’t seem to mind two nights ago when I fucked you until you couldn’t use your own legs, or the night before that when I fucked you on my balcony for everyone at the party to see,” he chuckles.

“Ransom!” you whimper, scratching at the kitchen fridge while your legs go weak at the memory.

“We don’t have to stop at all, baby. You just need to learn how to shut the fuck up,” he chuckles before nipping on your earlobe, “we haven’t been caught yet, so why stop?”

As always, you do what he says, because you can’t stop. You haven’t been able to stop since you two started this whole fucked up situation a year ago.

Ransom was someone you never thought you’d be in this position with. Technically, you’d known him forever because rich families tend to travel in the same circles, but you’d never actually spoken to or spent any time with him. Well, except for that one time, which really didn’t seem to stick for him.

When you were a kid, you clung to your parents out of anxiety and worry. Then, when you became a teenager, you stayed away because he and his friends had a reputation, as did his father, for being a womanizer. Over time, Ransom became the same way and you can only guess that after hearing some of the stories about his family, it’s really not something he needed to learn, it was basically a genetic code for the men in that family.

Like the whole ‘Pavlov’s Dog’ theory.

Ransom didn’t need to learn how to be a scum bag, he just was one. Whenever he saw a gorgeous woman, he simply went after her. Much like his father, his uncle, and his grandfather (when he was younger).

It was a family trait.

Yes, Harlan had tried to fix all the damage he’d caused before he died, but it was useless. Richard and Walt were set in their ways and they didn’t do much to hide it. Most of the men in the “rich family” group didn’t. No, your father didn’t cheat on your mother (much), but he put his hands on her; especially when he was drunk. So, he was still a piece of shit as far you were concerned.

However, none of this information ever made you look down on Ransom and his friends. You didn’t know them and you weren’t going to judge them because of your own feelings. You just stayed away. You didn’t do drugs, you didn’t party much, and you didn’t drink too much. Sure, you’ve been drunk a time or two, but not every damn weekend.

Even with the “girlfriends” that they had, you tried to be as pleasant as possible when you would cross their paths. You just wanted to stay out of sight and out of mind, but you never wanted to be rude about it. You had your small group of friends and a stable-ish relationship with your parents, so you were happy. You kept to yourself and minded your own business. You never spent more time doing more than you needed to with the people your parents associated with. The parents liked you because you were a good kid. You were polite, kind, did well in school, never seemed to ask your parents for anything, hard working, and you stayed out of trouble.

Your parents took pride in having the “perfect daughter”.

You think that’s what attracted your husband to you. His parents had always liked you, and your mother would constantly tell you how his mother wished he’d settle down with a girl like you.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised he hasn’t asked you on a date with how you dress,” your Mother scoffed. “You have a gorgeous body and you never show it off. You don’t attract anyone’s attention with how you dress.”

“I don’t want to attract anyone’s attention,” you sighed, annoyed that she’s made you feel pathetic and like a disappointment for the millionth time in your life. “I like my life as it is.”

“Alone?”

“Mother.”

“Anyway, Jack’s mother is constantly telling me how she wishes he’d find someone like you instead of all of the other little tramps he hangs out with-”

“Mom!”

“What? They are little whores,” she shrugs, sipping on her Blood Mary. “Half of them have already slept with half the husbands, then they go and fuck the sons. As long as they keep their getting money, it doesn’t matter to them. Anyway, he hangs out with that Ransom boy and that boy is never up to any good-”

“You don’t know that.”

“When did you become so damn naive?”

“I’m not naive, I’m just not going to pass judgement on people I don’t know. What right do I have? Everyone is capable of good and bad.”

“Not everyone.”

“Yes, everyone.”

“Give an example.”

“Dad loves me, gives money to good charities and schools, but still beats you and stays out too late with his friends. You’re a great and loyal friend, a great mom, but you still drink to try and forget that dad’s a piece of shit and you go driving while you’re fucked up. Everyone is capable of good and bad. Was that a good enough examples or should I keep going?” you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Anyway,” your Mother scowled, “he’s around Ransom and all of his friends, so it makes sense that he never brings anyone favorable home.”

“Well, maybe his mom will get what she wants and he’ll find someone “decent” enough to settle down with.”

“Or, you can change up your look, and he’ll settle down with you,” your Mother smiled hopefully and you just rolled your eyes.

Honestly, it didn’t surprise you that your Mother was so desperate for you to be with Jack. Socially and financially, it was the perfect match. Your Father is one of the best doctors in the country, and his Father was a pretty successful Doctor. You made a name for yourself in your life of work, and Jack was successful in his own right. He’s handsome and you’re gorgeous.

It just worked.

However, a few weeks later, you found out the Jack’s parents weren’t the only ones who were keeping an eye on you.

“Have you noticed that Ransom Drysdale can never seem to take his eyes off of you?” your best friend, Daisy, questioned with a laugh.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you questioned, trying to get lost in your third Screwdriver.

If there’s one person in your life you trust above all others, and confide in more than anyone else, it’s Daisy. You and her have been thick as thieves since 5th grade, and there’s no one else you’d rather have by your side when shit gets rough. Yeah, she’s a party girl, but she’s loyal, hard working, and she enjoys quiet time just as much as you do. Her parents are just as bad as yours and that’s how you two bonded. It’s also the reason you stick up for all the party girls your Mother hates.

All of you were dealt the same hand, there’s no reason to hate anyone. The parents never felt the need to really spend time with their kids, cause that’s what the Nanny’s for, right? All the parents just passed their kids off to someone else when they could, then paraded them around during their birthdays or when they achieved something they deemed amazing. Whether it was making the honor roll, making the Varsity football team, or getting accepted into a top school, the parents would throw extravagant parties, while their kids would drink themselves into oblivion, get high out of their minds, or fuck until they were tired of it.

Everyone dealt with their shit in their own way, and Daisy made sure you didn’t give anyone shit for it, because you were all just trying to get by in a world where you all felt like no one actually gave a fuck about you. You were all just trophies for your parents to shine up and pay attention to every once in a while.

Anyway, your parents were throwing their annual Summer party and, somehow, you got roped into it.

“He wants to fuck you,” she laughed.

“What? No he doesn’t! He’s never even spoken to me!”

“News for ya babe: you don’t have to talk to someone to wanna fuck ‘em.”

“I’m not his type, stop it. You’ve seen the girls he brings to parties and charity functions. I do not fit into the category, at all,” you scoffed before taking another sip of your drink, looking over and seeing his eyes on you.

Along with Jack’s.

“I told you what my mom said; they’re probably just talking about me,” you shrugged.

“His eyes are on you even when he isn’t around Jack.”

“Dais-”

“I know you’re hard headed and don’t like to listen to anyone, but Drysdale has a thing for you and I feel like he always has, or...at least, wants to fuck you.”

“Yeah right,” you muttered before you finished off your drink.

You should’ve listened to her. God, you wish you would’ve listened.

It’s not like you had any reason to believe her though, because why would you? He’d never spoken to you, he’d never made it obvious that he’d taken any interest in you, and he never approached you. Hell, your parents had invited him and his parents to your birthday parties when you were kids, but he never showed up. You two had gone to the same schools up until college, but even when he came home for holiday break, he never even looked your way.

So why would you think he wanted anything to do with you? Why should you think that he or or Jack ever thinks of you?

Well, Jack proved that his mother’s word got through to him at some point.

“Ya know, you’re always at these things, but you never seem happy to be here,” Jack smiled as he made his way over to you.

“Oh...hi! Uh...yeah, ya know...family obligation and all,” you smiled awkwardly, not really sure why he was making conversation with you.

“Well, why not make a new friend while suffering through another family obligation?”

And that’s how it started.

In the beginning, Jack was sweet. So insanely sweet. He brought you flowers every other day, he was constantly making or taking you to dinner, he was funny, he cut back on partying, and he was always so interested in you. Constantly asking about your day, what made you happy, what irritated you, and what made you laugh.

He seemed like a dream.

It’s not like you’d never had a boyfriend and you were by no means a virgin, but Jack was a dream...at the time. Soon enough there was a proposal and you happily accepted, a home was purchased, there was talk of having kids, a wedding date was set, and your parents were thrilled. You were in love and everything you’d always wanted was finally falling into place.

However, Jack was a wonderful liar, you’ll give him that. He easily played the two faced card, and by the second year of your marriage, you’d finally figured it out.

“Jesus, enough with the bitching!” Jack slurred at 3am, after waking you up by knocking over a lamp in the bedroom.

“You’re never home! You’re always drunk, high, or both, and you’re fucking cheating!”

“Here we go with the fucking cheating allegations-”

“It’s a fucking fact! I smell them on you, there are lipstick stains on your shirt, the calls you step out of the room to answer-”

“Shut up! Your voice is annoying me and I have an early day at work,” he growled before getting into bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

After that, you tried. You tried to save what you thought was the perfect marriage. You made an effort to be more appealing; wearing tighter and more revealing clothes, giving him a blow job whenever he wanted, initiating sex, making his favorite meals, trying to have more date nights, but nothing seemed to work.

“Your husband is a piece of shit,” Daisy scoffed as she settled in bed next to you, at her house.

You and Jack got into another huge argument before he left to go out, and you were in no mood to be there when he got back.

“What did he do now?”

“Hit on me.”

“Daisy-”

“Don’t. Don’t be that woman. Don’t make excuses or try to explain it away. He’s a piece of shit and you know it. Leave his ass.”

“It’s my fault-”

“Stop it, no it isn’t. He’s always been a piece of shit and that didn’t change because the two of you said ‘I do’. He’s a liar and piece of shit. Don’t deny what you know for comfort,” she snapped.

It’s not like Daisy didn’t have a point. You’d figured out Jack was a piece of shit a year and a half into the marriage, but you pretended you could look the other way. If there’s no actual proof, then there’s no way he could be a cheater. You wanted to believe that you were living the life that no one else seemed to be capable of.

You wanted to believe that you got lucky.

Soon enough, trying turned into irritation, irritation turned into frustration, and frustration turned into regret.

“I don’t see the point in leaving him,” your Mother sighed as you two sat down for lunch. “Every marriage has its issues.”

“No offense, but I don’t want to end up like you and half the other women in the county.”

“Y/N, you’re not getting any younger and he’s not putting his hands on you. He’s got a good job, he has more than enough to keep comfortable and happy-”

“I have my own good job and good money on my own.”

“Just have a kid and-”

���You’re not listening me-”

“I am and you need to grow up, Y/N. You’re being a child. Do you know how lucky you are? You could have it so much worse. Suck it up and get over it,” she snapped before she finished her drink, which was her way of letting you know that the conversation was over.

So, you tried. You tried to keep your tears to yourself, you pretended that you didn’t care that he reeked of sex and other women when he came home, you made dinner and left him notes about his plate being in the fridge when he didn’t come home.

However, it didn’t seem to help anything. He was rarely ever home, and w[hen he was, he was either too fucked up or too annoyed to actually pay attention. You barely had sex with him anymore, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, cause it was rare that he ever got you off.

That was an issue before all the lying and cheating.

However, the more you tried, the more your spirit died.

“This isn’t like you, Y/N. This isn’t you at all,” Daisy sighed as as she got in her bed and cuddled up next to you; holding you close as you sobbed into her shoulder.

“My Mother said-”

“Your Mother is a miserable drunk. You know better than to listen to her.”

“She has a point, Dais. They’re a lot of people who have it worse than me.”

“Y/N, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. He’s an asshole who doesn’t know how good he has it, and you deserve to be with someone who does. Someone who will actually appreciate and love you.”

“It’s whatever at this point.”

“When did it get this bad? When did you just allow bullshit like this to happen?”

“I’m tired of fighting.”

“Do you love Jack?”

“Yes.”

“Enough to keep thinking this lowly of yourself?”

“No.”

“Then fucking leave him, Y/N. He’s useless and you’ll be just fine on your own.”

You knew that she was right, so you got the papers made up, and had planned to have a mature talk with him about it.

Planned.

“Can you not go out tonight? We need to talk,” you asked softly as Jack went to follow Ransom and friends out the door.

“Whatever it is can wait,” he scoffed.

“It really can’t.”

“Y/N, don’t start your shit-”

“I want a divorce, Jack. I’m tired of this shit and you clearly don’t care enough to get your shit together. I want a divorce,” you stated plainly, crossing your arms.

“Can you guys wait outside? I’ll be out soon,” he laughed incredulously.

Ransom looked you over before he and his friends made their way outside.

“What is it that you want, hmm?”

“To be in a functioning fucking marriage for one!”

“Jesus, you’re so fucking dramatic, Y/N. You want for nothing, I’ve never put my fucking hands on you-”

“The fact that you think that’s some big fucking win is a major problem.”

“I still come home to you, don’t I?”

“Do you fucking hear yourself right now?! Why keep doing this? Why not just be free to do whatever you want and leave me the hell alone?”

“Because I love you, Y/N-”

“Bullshit!” you laughed.

“Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s not love!”

“Jack, I’m tired of this shit. I have tried everything to make you happy and commit, like you fucking said you would in your wedding vows, and nothing has worked. I’m tired of being the only one who’s willing to make this marriage work. Just sign the damn papers.”

“You’re just not fucking thinking straight. You need a night cool down.”

“Jack-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” is all he said before storming out and slamming the door shut behind him.

You were determined to stand your ground, so you packed some of your clothes and went to Daisy’s house, and she was more than happy to take you in.

Shithead: Where the hell are you?

Y/N: Sign the papers.

Shithead: You’re being ridiculous.

Y/N: Can you not be difficult for once? Just sign the damn papers.

Shithead: I’m coming to get you, where are you?

Y/N: Can you please just sign the papers?

Shithead: Come home.

This kept up for two weeks; you begging Jack for a divorce and him begging you to come home. You did your best to be strong, with Daisy being your only real support system, but it could only last for so long.

“You need to go home to your husband,” your Mother sighed as soon as you two sat down for lunch.

“Stay out of it.”

“His Mother won’t stop calling me, telling me how miserable he is-”

“Then he should’ve kept his cock in his pants.”

“Y/N!”

“What? He’s a cheater, Mom! All he does is cheat on me and make me feel like I’m being unreasonable-”

“You are!”

“Do you ever take my fucking side?”

“I don’t care for your language!”

“And I don’t care for your attitude!” you snapped.

“You’re having lunch with your Father on Thursday.”

“I work, I can’t just-”

“Just don’t. He wants to have this lunch, he set up his schedule for work so he can meet you in the park, and you’re going.”

“And he couldn’t tell me himself because....?”

“You’re less inclined to give me the same attitude you’ll give him.”

“Fine.”

Needless to say, you two didn’t speak to each other for the remainder of that brunch, and you were already expecting your lunch with your Father to go bad.

It always did.

“So, what’s going on with you and Jack?” your Father asked, handing you a hot dog as you two resumed your stroll through the park.

“You know what’s going on with us.”

“Your Mother says-”

“Don’t. Don’t act like she doesn’t make me feel like shit and make me feel like I’m dumb. Like I’m asking for too much.”

“We just want you to have a good life.”

“You can’t honestly think I’ll have a good life with Jack. Jesus dad, I know you can be a piece of shit, but you have to know that a good life with Jack is not an option!”

“I’m not trying to start an argument, Y/N.”

“You’re also not trying to help anything!”

“It’ll make your Mother’s life a lot easier.”

“And what about my life?”

“Love will come again, Sweet Pea.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you scoffed before you finished the rest of your hot dog. “Both of you have got to be the worst parents.”

“Y/N-”

“How does me getting back with him make her life any better anyway?”

“You know the women at the country club talk. They’re bullies and they already give her shit about all the things she and I have been through-”

“So this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong? That’s fucking rich.”

“Overall, she’s been a good mother, Y/N. All the best dance classes, being at every recital, being at every choir concert, every band concert, showing up to every soccer game, getting you the exact things you wanted for your birthdays-”

“Getting blackout drunk on my 16th birthday and making a fool out of herself and embarrassing me in front of my friends.”

“That was my fault and you know it.”

“So, once again, this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong.”

“Y/N-”

“I have to think...all of this shouldn’t have to fall on me.”

“No, it shouldn’t, and I’m sorry, but-”

“Yeah, I know. I gotta get back to work. I’ll talk to you later,” you muttered, throwing out the wrapper that held your hot dog and walking off.

As much as you hated to admit it, your Father did have a point. For all the flaws that your Mother had, and there was a good amount, she always did her best to show up for you. If being trapped in a shitty marriage was going to make her life better, then you’d do it.

Against Daisy’s advice (as well as your own), you found yourself packing your things up and moving back into the prison you were supposed to call home. For the first few weeks, Jack seemed to have his shit together (though you weren’t buying it), and insisted upon having a vow renewal party.

And that’s when all of it started.

It was simple enough at first; people came over and congratulated the both of you, you two put on a show of pure and genuine happiness, had a dance, and Jack even did a toast to the both of you and the new chapter of your marriage.

It started out easy.

Then the drinks started flowing and Jack easily fell back into his old ways. Right in front of you. Your parents could see how upset you were getting and your Father even tried to calm Jack down a few times, taking him in a separate room to talk, but it was no use. Once Jack was fucked up enough, he didn’t care about anything except what he wanted and it didn’t help that his dickhead friends were egging him on.

Well, all of them except for Ransom.

His gaze stayed on you almost the whole time and it was intense. You felt like you couldn’t breathe and your skin was begging for just a touch of him. It also didn’t help that you’d been drinking whiskey for the last 2 hours, as a way of dealing with being publicly humiliated, and it was really starting to kick in. All you wanted was some sort of comfort, and the look Ransom was giving you was letting you know that he was more than willing to give that to you. You wanted to talk to Daisy, but she had refused to come (and you couldn’t even blame her), so you were just shit out of luck.

When you checked the clock and realized that it was only 10pm, you knew the party wasn’t anywhere near over. You grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and stormed off outside, deciding that time away from everyone is what would be best.

“I never knew you could drink so much,” a dark voice chuckled from behind you, causing you to jump.

“R-Ransom...hi,” you stuttered as you put the bottle down and moved over a bit on the stone ledge you’d been sitting on.

“You look pretty fucking miserable for someone who just renewed her vows.”

“Shouldn’t you be inside with Jack? You’re his best friend or whatever.”

“He’s too fucked up and he’s being annoying,” he shrugged as he took a seat next to you and grabbed the bottle of JD. “We’ve never really spoken before, thought I’d take the time to talk to you now.”

“Well, as much as I appreciate the kind gesture, I’m really in no mood to talk right now.”

“Why’d you take him back?” Ransom pressed on and you let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s complicated.”

“We’ve got time.”

“Ransom, not to be a complete cunt right now, but why do you care? You’re always out with him while he’s getting his dick wet in some other woman’s cunt, so why do you care?”

“It’s not like I encourage him to do it,” he shrugged before he took a drink from the bottle, “he’s a fucking idiot. He talked about making you his for the longest time. Now, he has you, and he treats you like shit.”

“Well, thanks for that bit of information,” you laughed humorlessly.

“So, why did you go back?”

“I told you, it’s complicated.”

“And I told you, we have time.”

“Ransom-”

“You are entirely too beautiful to be crying or married to an asshole like him. The reason must be something good.”

“Leave it alone,” you almost sobbed as you looked back over to him.

Before you could blink, Ransom was cupping your face and kissing you deeply. He was kissing you with more emotion than you’d ever felt. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but it felt so fucking good. Whether or not it was because of the alcohol or because of the lack of affection from Jack, it felt so good to have someone kissing you with so much passion and determination.

“Ransom...” you breathed as you two broke apart, “don’t.”

“You don’t wanna get back at him?”

“Why do you?”

“He took something precious from me, and I wanna return the favor,” he broods as he held your gaze.

You should’ve tapped out right then and there, but you needed some sort of comfort. You needed to hurt Jack the same way he’d hurt you so many times. Before you knew it, you were sneaking Ransom in and bringing him to the bedroom you shared with Jack, not caring if you got caught or not.

You just wanted to feel better.

“Ransom...don’t,” you moaned as he went to rip your dress. “My parents are still here.”

“You really are a good girl,” he chuckled before continuing to kiss down your body.

“I still have...gotta make sure I can go down there...”

“I’ll make sure you look presentable, baby. However,” he started as he hiked up the bottom of your dress, “since I can’t destroy this dress, I’m gonna destroy you.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hang on, baby,” he smirked before dipping down and sucking on your clit and pushing two fingers inside of you achingly slow.

“Jesus! Fuck...Ransom...”

“The way you taste...could stay in-between these legs all day,” he growled before resuming his assault on your clit and picking up his pace, as you gripped his hair and started to grind yourself against his face.

Yes, there was a part of you that wanted to stop, but you’d also never felt so fucking good. Even with your fingers and vibrator, neither could compare to what Ransom was making you feel.

“Ransom...fuck! Oh my God!” you whimpered, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

Yes, you were fine with Jack catching you, but not the entire fucking house.

“Shit! You’re so-fuck!” you cried out as he changed up and started to massage your clit with is thumb while easily fucking into your weeping cunt with his tongue. “Never felt this fucking good!”

You felt him smirk against your clit and you didn’t even care. You felt like you were heaven in heaven and he had every right to feel cocky.

“Not gonna last much...oh...yes...YES!” you cried out, as you came hard, your entire body tingling in delight.

“Never thought you’d be such a messy little thing,” Ransom chuckled after he cleaned up between your legs. “Can’t wait to see how much of a mess you make on my cock.”

“Ransom-”

“You’ve already opened up your legs for me, sweetheart. Might as well experience the whole ride,” he smirked before kissing up your dress.

In the moment, it’s not that you felt guilty, you were just afraid of not being able to keep quiet.

“You’re such a pretty little thing,” he cooed against the shell of your ear before he bit it.

“Shit!” you whimpered as you unbuttoned his pants and he pulled them down.

“Gonna fuck you so good. The way you should always be fucked,” he promised before thrusting himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“God, this pussy is better than I ever imagined,” he groaned, starting to pump into you hard and fast.

“So fucking full! Holy shit!” you cried out as you gripped his shoulders, trying to hold on for the ride.

“Never been stretched this good?”

“N-no, daddy!”

Whoops.

“Daddy?” he smirked, “You ever call him that?”

“He...he doesn’t deserve it,” you moaned, grinding your hips against his.

“Shit, Y/N!”

“So fucking close!”

“You need to cum, baby?”

“Please!” you pleaded pathetically.

“Such a good little girl,” he grunted with a smirk, “Asking permission...cum for daddy, baby,” he encouraged before he dipped down and kissed you passionately with just a hint of desperation.

Maybe it was because you were so damn drunk, or maybe it was because he made you feel better than you ever had, but you squirted hard. Something you’d never done before.

“You really are the messiest little thing, aren’t you?” he laughed as he pulled out, and you groaned in protest. “Oh, we’re not done, Sweet Thing. Get on your hands and knees for me.”

“Ransom-”

“Don’t worry, daddy isn’t gonna fuck that hole. At least not tonight. Just wanna put these these legs out of use.”

“Fuck.”

“Be a good girl, hands and knees,” he demands again before he slapped your inner thigh.

It was in that moment that you decided you’d do anything for Ransom Drysdale.

You were on your hands and knees in a matter of moments, completely forgetting that you’re in trapped in a bullshit marriage, and only focusing on the pleasure that he was giving you.

“Jesus, this fucking ass,” Ransom growled before he slapped it, “Jack is a fucking fool.”

“Daddy please!”

“I know, baby. Gonna make it so much better,” he husked before thrusting himself inside of you, again. “This fucking pussy! I swear to God!”

“Fuck me like I’m your whore,” you begged, “I fucking need it!”

“Haven’t even fucked you full of my seed and you wanna be my whore?”

“So fucking bad!”

“Should I call him in here so he can see how to really fuck you? So he can see that you’re mine now?”

“Do whatever you want,” you whimpered as his grip on you got tighter and he started to fuck you harder, “I just wanna please you!”

“God, you’re gonna make me fuckin' cum, sweet girl!”

“Cum deep in this pussy!”

“Is it mine?”

“Fuck! This pussy is all yours! Cum in it and claim it!”

“Fuck, Y/N!” Ransom husked as he filled you up.

“Jesus!” you screamed as you made a mess all over him and the bed.

Thank God the music was blaring .

You both stayed that way for a moment, both of you taking in what you had just done (you were sure more than him), before he slowly pulled out. You wanted more, but you knew enough damage had been done. Revenge, comfort, desire...you got what you needed and told yourself that was the only time it would happen.

“You comin back down, Sweet Thing’?” Ransom asked as he pulled his pants back on.

“In...in a little bit,” you sighed before you laid back on the bed.

“Gonna wanna fix that fuckin' dress before you do,” he chuckled before kissing the top of your forehead.

And with that, he left.

You told yourself that was the end of it. You had your fill (quite literally) and you wouldn’t do it again. You just wanted a taste of revenge, you didn’t want to live in it. When you went back downstairs, you ignored every glance Ransom threw your way, and ignored the fact that he left with the blonde Jack disappeared with earlier. You had your fair share of fun and you were done.

That’s what you told yourself.

When Jack came home late with lipstick stains on his collar a few nights later, you told yourself it didn’t matter. When you two got into a screaming match about him at least pretending to be decent, you let it go when he stormed out and didn’t return for the night. When the argument of you being on the pill came up and he almost slapped you, you told yourself it was no big deal. Why? Because the playing field was even now (as far as you were concerned). Yeah, Jack cheated almost all the time, but you cheated once. You cheated once and had the most amazing sex ever, so no more needed to be done. No, Jack didn’t know about it, but if he did, it would break him. That was enough for you.

Sure, Ransom came around, looked you over, gave you those eyes, but he never initiated anything. You were more than sure he knew you would never act on anything with him anymore, because that’s not who you were. In fact, you were sure that he knew that he was the only person to ever to get you to do something you absolutely loathed.

Which you is why you kept saying once was enough and you weren’t going to do it again, no matter how much you wanted to.

Still, a woman has needs.

“Ransom,” you moaned as you fucked yourself with your vibrator.

Yes, you were content with not fucking him again, but that didn’t change the fact that he fucked you better than you’d ever been fucked in your life.

“Fuck...fuck, yes! Don’t stop, Ransom!” you whimpered as you curled your toes.

“Miss me?” a deep voice questioned.

You froze almost instantly, leaving the vibrator on as you looked up, “what are you doing here?!”

“Game night,” he chuckled as he walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him, “Jack lost the bet so he has to host it.”

“You can’t be in here!” you whispered harshly.

“Why not? You clearly need me and it’s been so long. Keep going,” he shrugged as he undid his pants.

“Ransom-”

“Keep going,” he demanded as he started to stroke himself.

You were coming to find that saying ‘no’ to him was going to be something you wouldn’t be good at. You resumed fucking yourself with the vibrator, while he jerked himself off (only turning you on more); his eyes on you intensely.

“You miss daddy, baby?” he groaned as he started stroking himself faster.

You could only bring yourself to nod.

“He’s not fucking you right?”

“He never does.”

“You want me?”

“We can’t,” you moaned as your pussy clenched around your vibrator.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Suck that vibrator dry, then I’m gonna fuck you senseless.”

“We can’t-”

“Do what I said or you’re gonna be in for a long night.”

You truly wanted to say no, but he’d made you feel so good, and you missed that. You missed feeling desired.

You missed being wanted.

You slowly removed the vibrator from your already soaked cunt with a whimper, before bringing it up to your lips and licking it with the tip of your tongue.

“Never thought you could be such a dirty little thing,” he husked, and you knew he was close.

You kept your eyes on him as started suck on the vibrator, and couldn’t help but smirk when you saw one of his legs almost give out. Yeah, Ransom was a player, but in that moment, he was a puddle for you. It didn’t matter what any other woman made him feel, cause in that moment, he was showing you just how much of an effect you were having on him.

When you took the whole damn thing in your mouth, Ransom came hard on the bed and it just made you that much more desperate. You whined as you cleaned off the last bit of your slick and opened your legs for him.

Before, you could have blamed it all on alcohol and said that you only let Ransom fuck because you were drunk and upset, but in this moment? You were completely sober and you wanted him. You wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anyone.You knew you’d feel bad about it tomorrow, but for now, you just wanted Ransom and he wanted you.

“Let daddy see,” he demanded as he kicked his boxers and pants off.

You took the vibrator out of your mouth as you started to massage your clit with two fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he chuckled before dipping down, moving your fingers out of the way, and licking your clit before he started kissing up your body.

“Ransom, we have to be quiet,” you moaned as he started kissing up your body.

“Take off this fucking shirt.” “Ransom-”

“Take it off, I wanna see all of you.”

“We have to be quiet,” you repeated as you took your shirt off.

“These tits are fuckin' perfect,” he growled as he aligned himself with your entrance.

“Ransom-”

“Yeah yeah, we gotta be quiet,” he grumbled before he thrust himself inside of you, “so don’t scream too loud for daddy.”

“Fuck!”

“Quiet down, Sweet Thing’,” he chuckled before he kissed passionately.

You’d never had an affair before, and you never thought you’d have one. You always imagined that the person you’d end up with would be your knight in shining armor, but now? Jack was always doing whatever the fuck he wanted, so why couldn’t you? Why were you denied your little bit of fun?

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of having you like this again?” Ransom husked as he sat up and gripped your hips, “made me wait two fucking months to make you feel as good as you deserve!”

“All you had to do was ask,” you moaned as you clawed at his clothed chest, arching your back a little.

“Yeah? This pussy is mine whenever I want?”

“I’m yours whenever you want,” you whimpered as you felt your release coming on.

In the back of your mind, you knew you shouldn’t be saying things like that to him, but it was so hard to think straight when he was making you feel so good,

The man fucked like a god.

“What about Jack?”

“What about him?”

“He doesn’t matter anymore?”

“Ransom, do you wanna fuck me or do you wanna talk about my failed ongoing marriage?”

“You’re right, baby. Lets make the most of this,” he laughed before fucking into you relentlessly.

From that point on, you and Ransom fucked whenever you could. He always sought you out, but you never turned him away. You were always eager and desperate for him and he was always eager to give you what you wanted. Whether it was being fucked like a slut, or being fucked in a slow and passionate nature, he always delivered. It started out with him only seeking you out at parties and sneaking into the bedroom when he was at the house for whatever reason, but soon enough, he got your number (probably by getting it off of Jack’s phone), and was demanding you come over in the middle of the night.

That’s when things started getting tricky.

Ransom was infamous for kicking women out of bed, yet he never kicked you out. You’d heard stories of how he’d kicked women out, in nothing but their underwear (if he hadn’t destroyed it), but there were times when you’d wake to his arm wrapped around your waist and him holding you close. Outside of sex, you and Ransom didn’t say two words to each other, but nonetheless, the small gesture tugged at your heart. You couldn’t remember the last time Jack was affectionate with you in public or in private.

However, it also started to get tricky because Jack finally started noticing.

“Where were you?” Jack asked as you toed your shoes off at 7am.

“I went for a drive.”

“All night?”

“There’s not much incentive for me to stay home, is there?”

“Y/N-”

“What happened to your little trinket from last night? I woke up at 2am and you still weren’t home.”

“I actually did have to work late last night,” he sighed and you rolled your eyes.

Ransom had been out with him the night before and told you to come over because Jack was fucked up and had his face buried in some stripper’s cunt, and he wanted to bury his face in yours.

“Whatever.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t fucking ‘sweetheart’ me. I’m taking a shower and then I’m off to work.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

That had you laughing so hard you almost fell over.

“Thanks for that, I’m gonna go and start my day now,” you breathed before you made your way upstairs.

After that, you told Ransom that you both needed to stop. You were married and it was wrong, but it’s not like Ransom gave a shit about right or wrong. His new favorite activity was fucking you and he didn’t understand why he needed to stop.

“Why should I have to give you up?” he groaned as you rode him. “He doesn’t even deserve you.”

“He’s starting to notice, daddy. Don’t want...don’t...shit!”

“My gorgeous girl is fuckin’ herself stupid, huh?” he chuckled as he sat up and starting massaging your tits.

“Shit!”

“Cause you’re my pretty girl, right? You’re mine?”

“Ransom...”

“You’re mine?”

“Yes daddy,” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him passionately.

And that was that. Ransom had no intention of letting you go and you didn’t want him to.

“Lets go upstairs,” he whispers as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.

“My parents are here, Ransom. I can’t!”

“Baby, I missed you!”

“You just saw me two nights ago!”

“I wanna see you every fuckin’ night!”

“You know we...Ransom, I’m so fucking close!”

“I know you are, sweet girl...pussy is squeezing my fingers so fuckin’ tight!”

“Oh daddy!”

“Did you miss me, baby? Did you miss me fucking you stupid?”

“You know I...you know I did!”

“I want you in my bed tonight, Sweet Thing.”

“I can’t-”

“Daddy doesn’t like that answer,” he taunts before biting down on the sensitive part of your neck.

“Oh my fuck!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear.”

“I can’t-”

“Still not what I wanna hear,” he mumbles as his free hand starts to undo his pants, “you daddy want to fuck you right now? In this kitchen, where anyone can come in and see?”

“Ransom!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear,” he demands hotly as he starts to grind his hard cock against your ass .

“Fuck! I’ll...I’ll come by tonight...I can’t stay!”

“We’ll see about that,” he laughs darkly, “now be a good little whore and cum for me. Get it all over the fuckin’ floor!”

“Shit!” you cry out as quietly as you can, squirting hard, happy to be pressed up against the refrigerator so you don’t fall.

“Such a good girl for me, baby,” he praises, kissing your neck as he removes his two fingers. “Clean daddy off so we can go back out there.”

You turn around and take his fingers into your mouth, never breaking eye contact with him, as your tongue licks and massages his fingers, making sure to get all of your essence off of him.

“You sure I can’t sneak you upstairs?”

“Ransom, I have to go out there. It’s my anniversary party,” you chuckle after he removes his fingers and you straighten out your dress.

“He’s the asshole for throwing a party instead of taking you out.”

“He’s expecting sex tonight.”

“Do not fuck him,” Ransom demands as he zips up his pants.

“Ransom-”

“That pussy belongs to me and me only.”

“He’s my husband and it’s our wedding anniversary.”

“What did I say?”

“He’s my husband, Ransom.”

“Then he should fucking act like it.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I like you and he doesn’t deserve you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Oh, trust me, I know you,” he chuckles before cupping your face, “don’t fuck him tonight.”

“Ransom-”

“Want me to throw you over my shoulder and remind you why you shouldn’t?”

“Stop it,” you giggle.

Ransom kissed you passionately and pulled you close, “don’t fuck him tonight, baby,” he begs breathlessly as you two break apart.

“You still fuck whoever you want.”

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Ransom,” you laugh.

“Just don’t do it, okay?”

“Fine, get back out there.”

“You?”

“I’ll go upstairs the back way and be down in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good,” he smirks before kissing you then making his way back out.

You’re not stupid. You know that Ransom isn’t in love with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that he makes you feel all of the things Jack hasn’t over the last few years. Besides, if you’re doomed to be miserable like every other wife in the area, you may as well get your kicks where you can.

When you reach the bedroom, you clean yourself up and look yourself over in the mirror. When all of this started, you were ashamed of yourself, but now? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re playing the same game Jack is.

Except you’re better at it.

When you get back downstairs, you can tell it’s gonna be easy to tell Jack ‘no’ and leaving him to his own devices. He’s high as a kite and drunk off his ass.

“There you are!” he drunkenly exclaims as he stumbles over to you. “Where’d you go?”

“To freshen up,” you mutter, pushing him off of you as you feel your Mother’s gaze on you.

“What do you say we wrap this night up early?”

“And do what?”

“The thing we haven’t done for a while,” he smirks suggestively and you scoff. “What?”

“You’re a little too...tuned up for that right now.”

“Can you not be a bitch on our fucking anniversary?” he scowls.

“You need to sleep it off.”

“Y/N,” he growls as he grips your wrist, tight, “stop fucking denying me.”

“Let me go, now.”

“I want you tonight and you’re gonna-”

“Everything okay over here?” Ransom asks, his leggy blonde date following right behind him. “Hey man!” Jack exclaims, letting go of your wrist and wrapping Ransom in a sloppy hug.

Yeah, it’s definitely time to wrap this fucking party up.

“Why don’t you call it a night?”

“The party is just getting started!” Jack laughs, still holding on to Ransom because standing on his own is now an issue.

“Not for you,” Ransom mumbles as he helps him up the steps.

As you start making your rounds, thanking people for coming and all that fun stuff, you feel your Mother’s stare from across the room and it makes your skin crawl. The only reason you stayed with Jack was to make her happy in the first place. You didn’t need to hear any of her judgemental comments or snide remarks. When everyone is finally gone, you start to pick up some of the plates and glasses, and make your way into the kitchen; your Mother on your heels.

“You could’ve hired-”

“I didn’t want to,” you interrupt harshly.

“You have to stop,” your Mother sighs.

“Stop what? Cleaning? No thanks, I-”

“Stop sleeping with Ransom.”

For just a moment, your breath hitches, but you bounce back quick with, “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I do. I’ve been married longer than you have, I’ve been in a miserable marriage longer than you have, I-”

“I’m not you.”

“He’s never going to commit to you and you’re just going to get hurt.”

“Stop.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“Ma-”

“How long?”

“You need to drop it. You don’t know anything-”

“What do you think is gonna happen? What? He’s gonna save you from this marriage? You think he’s gonna commit?”

“What is your problem?!” you snap, finally giving her your full attention. “Did you see what I just had to deal with?! What I’ve been dealing with?! Isn’t it enough that I’m staying in this marriage for the family?! For you?!”

Your mother lets out a heavy sigh before leaning against the counter, “it won’t always be like-”

“Did you miss the bruise on his mother’s face? The concealer did a good job, but not good enough. When does it get better? What? You think that because dad got tired of putting his dick in every other whole so often, that I’ll be fine as long as I wait this out till I’m 50?”

“I know you hate this,” she sobs softly, “and I know you hate us for asking this of you, but it gets better. Quit your job, join the-” “I don’t want to join anything! I don’t want to quit my job-”

“It’ll make all of this easier! It’ll help ease his bruised ego-”

“Do you hear yourself right now?! Do you hear how pathetic it all sounds?!”

“Honey, it’s not a bad life-”

“I need to keep some part of me that is me. I’m not you. I can’t just wrap myself in someone and make them my entire personality. I can’t and I don’t want to. I saved you from a scandal by not going through with the damn divorce, I don’t know what you want from me!”

You hear how awful you sound, and while you feel bad, it’s not enough to make you take back what you said. You’re in misery because it’ll help your family avoid more shame that you were never responsible for in the first place. It’s not lost on you that Ransom isn’t going to whisk you away from this hell and make everything better, and you’ll would never expect him to. However, Ransom is the only person who has made you feel something other than pain and sadness. Yeah, there’s Daisy, but it’s not the same. You know that she’s your best friend and you know she means well, but she makes you feel bad for staying. She says that she understands, but it’s not like you to not have any fight in you.

Yeah, you know she’s right, but you don’t need anyone’s help in making you feel any worse. Almost every other day, she’s asking when you’ll leave Jack, and it doesn’t even help that she can’t suck it up for a day and just be there for you when you have to put up with mundane bullshit like you did today. You love her, and you know she’s looking out for you, but she’s someone else who wants something of you. Demands more of you.

Being with Ransom is easy because all he wants is sex. He makes you feel amazing, he looks at you as if he adores you, and for just a moment you’re able to forget about everything that hurts and frustrates you. Somehow, being with Ransom has become the only part of your life that isn’t complicated and stressful. The most hes ever asked is what your favorite kind of porn is, which is how you ended up getting fucked senseless on his balcony while there was a party going on.

“Jack is gonna find out and it’s gonna get messy,” your Mother sniffs, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“There’s nothing to find out.”

“Y/N-”

“Please, it’s been a long night and I’m tired. Just go home and drop it.”

“You’ll see,” is all she says before walking out.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you lean against the kitchen sink.

This is all your fault. Its gotta be. You were so naive when you were younger. Giving every one the benefit of the doubt, believing the best of everyone even when it was obvious that you shouldn’t have, ignoring all of the things you’d heard about Jack because they were only rumors...you could’ve avoided this by being an asshole just like everyone else.

“He’s asleep,” Ransom sighs as he makes his way into the kitchen, “wanna just come over with me?”

“What happened to your date?” you laugh, shaking your head as you look away from him.

“Left at some point,” he shrugs, walking over to you, “come with me.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s your anniversary and they’re a few gifts I wanna give you.”

“Ransom!” you scowl with a soft chuckle.

“I can stay here tonight if that’s easier for you.”

“What did Jack take from you that caused you to start an affair with his wife?”

Ransom looks you over before cupping your face, “don’t worry about it,” he almost whispers before dipping down and kissing you passionately.

You’re grateful that you two are pressed up against the kitchen sink, because as always , your knees go weak and you know it’s the only thing keeping you upright.

“I can’t stay tonight,” you breathe softly once you two break apart.

“What’s the point in coming back here?”

“Ransom-”

“Just leave with me.”

“Give me an hour or so, I’ll be there,” you promise with a small smile.

All he does in response is give you another soul stealing kiss before leaning his forehead against yours, then leaving.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?

You slowly and quietly make your way upstairs to your bedroom and let out a heavy sigh once you get to the doorway. You sit on the edge of the bed and look over at your husband (who is snoring rather loud).

Once upon a time, you would’ve felt bad about all of this. You could see in his eyes that he truly was hurt that you didn’t want to give yourself to him tonight, but what the hell did that mean to you? You had tried your hardest to make the marriage work, and he wanted nothing to do with you. Hell, he’s still going out and fucking around, but his half ass attempts at showing you an ounce of affection are supposed to change everything thats happened after all this time?

“Y/N,” he calls in his sleep as he turns over, “Y/N...I love you...love you so much,” he sighs before his snoring resumes.

There was a time that, that would’ve pulled at your heartstrings, but now? Now, there’s nothing. This marriage is just an obligation to you at this point. Jack won’t raise hell, your parents don’t have to deal with anymore shit, and you?

Well, there are worse things in life.

You change out of your outfit and into one of the Spring dresses Ransom loves you in (even though it is still a bit nippy outside), grab your car keys and phone, and head out the door to Ransom’s.

Ransom.

You know your Mother is right. He’s not going to magically make everything okay for you away and give you the life you thought you’d have, but for now, what he has to offer you is enough. You’re still not sure what exactly drew him to you, but you know you want it to last as long as possible. You can’t help but find it funny that Ransom is keeping you around for so long. From what Daisy has told you, Ransom doesn’t stick to one partner, and if he does, he makes sure to let her know that she isn’t special or the only one. But with you?

He’s not the same guy at all.

He wants you to stay, he’s possessive, he tells you (all the time) that you’re the best fuck hes ever had, and he tells you just how much he hates Jack for not taking care of you (only while fucking you of course). You’ve tried to stop whatever the hell you two are doing multiple times, but he won’t stand for it. The fact that he gets so pissed about your own husband fucking you speaks volumes, as far as you’re concerned.

But speaks to what?

You do your best to not think about it, because it’ll only drive you insane. You don’t know why he’s so possessive and that’s another reason you want to stop. During sex, you’re able to pretend that you’re not married and not doing anything wrong, well...when he isn’t bringing up what an ignorant piece of shit Jack is, you’re able to pretend, but after? When he holds you, plants feverish kisses up and down your neck, tells you that you need to leave Jack, strokes your arm until you fall asleep with your head on his chest....why? What’s the point of it?

No, he hasn’t said that there’s nothing special between you, but hes shown it. It’s not like he’s stopped with his threesomes and partying, you could hear him when he would take calls in the other room to let whoever know that he wouldn’t be fucking them that night, he showed up with dates (sometimes multiple) at every event he bothered to show up to, and he never text you outside of wanting sex from you. None of it makes any sense to you.

Yet, here you are, outside his house and knocking on his door, because you can’t fucking quit him.

“You have a key,” he growls as he picks you up and kicks the door shut.

There’s also that.

“Wasn’t sure if anyone else was here.”

“When I tell you to come over, know that you’re the only one I’m giving my time and attention to. You are always on my mind,” he husks as he pins you against the door and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in months.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“You need me, baby?” he smirks as you start to grind yourself against him.

“You know I do, daddy!”

“You looked so beautiful tonight, but this dress? You know what it does to me.”

“Wanted to look my best for you, daddy!”

“Tell me you’re gonna stay tonight,” he demands before assaulting your neck with kisses.

“You know I can’t,” you whimper, trying to remember exactly why you can’t stay over (even though they’re honestly so many reasons).

“Sweetheart-”

“I have a job, daddy! I can’t...fuck, please fuck me!” you beg as you feel your release coming on.

“Look at that, haven’t even gotten your clothes off, and you’re already begging me,” he taunts against your neck, and you feel his smart-ass smirk.

“Daddy, please!”

“Daddy’s gonna take care of you, baby. Especially since that other asshole can’t, and on your anniversary of all days,” he tuts.

Yeah, Ransom is sick, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t get you off. He loves bringing up that Jack is piece of shit, and you love when he does. It’s nice to hear someone besides you acknowledge it.

Ransom takes his time pulling you apart, loving the way you beg him for more and telling him that no one has ever made you feel as good as he does. Yeah, he loves your body and loves fucking you senseless, but you know that’s one of his major kinks. For whatever reason, he needs to hear you tell him that he’s a better lover than Jack. He needs it the way people need oxygen. Whatever happened between him and Jack has made him desperate for gratification from you. At this point, you’re sure you’ll never know, but why should it matter at this point? You both take what you need from each other, and then go your separate ways.

Whatever their issues are,are between them.

“Ya know,” Ransom starts as he lights his cigarette, “I think you wore that  dress cause you knew I wouldn’t rip it.”

“You’re not wrong,” you laugh as you lay your head on his chest.

The amount of times you’ve had to lie about where your dresses have disappeared to, and have had to hide the clothes that Ransom sends you home in is starting to become an issue.

“Call out tomorrow.”

“Stop it, Ransom,” you sigh, sitting up.

“What? Call out and stay here tonight.”

“Why do you always want me to stay here?”

“I like falling asleep next to you,” he shrugs before taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I’ve gotta get back,” you mutter, ignoring how happy his little statement makes you.

“Why, Y/N? What are you so desperate to get back to?”

“I’m not desperate for anything and you know that. However, at the end of the day, I’m still married to Jack, your best friend. I can’t just stay out all night.”

“One,” he sighs as he sits up and wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, “he isn’t my best friend. Two, he stays out all night, why can’t you?”

“It’s what expected of him, not me.”

“Don’t you get tired of making everyone else happy, but being miserable the whole time?”

“Ransom, please don’t-”

“Call out,” he encourages as he kisses you shoulder.

“Stop it, you know I can’t,” you moan, trying to hold on to the little bit of resolve you have left.

“You can do whatever you want, baby,” he presses as he ashes his cigarette, “and I know you wanna stay with me.”

“Ransom, don’t. You know-”

“I know you’re not happy,” he interrupts as he ashes his cigarette, “I know that being here with me is when you’re happiest,” he continues before trailing kisses all along your collar bone.

“Ransom-”

“Tell me the truth,” he begs pathetically, as his hand travels between your legs, finding that bundle of nerves that always makes you come alive for him.

“I...I...”

“You want me over him, don’t you?”

“Don’t-”

“Tell me the truth, Y/N. Right now, you need me more than you need him?” he questions as he picks up his pace.

“Fuck! Yes! I need...need you so much, Ransom!”

“There’s my good girl,” he chuckles before pushing down and straddling you, “gonna make you forget all about the piece of shit husband of yours,” he promises as he thrusts himself inside of you.

Ransom gets his way (as always), because after the last session, you’re in no condition to drive anywhere, let alone in any mood. As you settle against him, your head on his chest, you faintly hear him saying something, but you’re too exhausted to ask him what he’s saying. Instead, you drift off to him gently stroking your back, pretending this is how your life always is.

Pretending you’re always this content.

**

“You okay? You seem a little flustered,” your assistant, Danielle, notes as she drops off more files for you.

“I’m fine,” you lie with a shy smile, “I just feel flustered because I was a little late today.”

“You’re much farther along than planned,” she laughs as she goes to exit the room, “plus, last night was your anniversary. I’m sure that’s a fair reason for you to be a little late,” she smirks and you laugh. “Just don’t forget to breathe,” she laughs before exiting your room.

‘Don’t forget to breathe.’

You laugh harder than you mean to, because you feel like you haven’t been able to breathe since you left Ransom’s this morning.

When your alarm went off this morning, Ransom groaned and protested, telling you that missing a day of work wouldn’t be bad for you. Much to his dismay (and yours), you held strong and told him that you had to go. Besides the fact that you had been out all night, you know that you need to stop whatever the hell is going on between you and Ransom.

So, as a form of protest, he teased you until you were desperate to ride his face, which then resulted into him fucking you senseless for an hour.

You were an hour and a half late for work.

However, the real reason you’re so flustered, is because you don’t understand Ransom, at all. He doesn’t want commitment, he doesn’t do love, and he doesn’t do loyalty. Hell, he’s happily sleeping with his best friend’s wife, but you’re supposed to believe that he’d actually commit to you full time?

There’s no way you’d ever let yourself believe that. You let yourself give Jack the benefit of the doubt, and look how that’s going.

So, instead of dealing with any of your thoughts, you decide to work your ass off instead, because you need something besides your current drama filled life to focus on.

“Shit, you really do work your ass off,” Ransom chuckles causing you to jump.

“Ransom! What...you can’t be here!” you whisper as he closes the door.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Relax, sweetheart. Not gonna fuck in here...just yet,” he smirks as he takes a seat in front of your desk, “I figured you could use a lunch break.”

“What?”

“Well, I know I ate breakfast this morning-”

“Ransom!”

“But you didn’t,” he laughs. “Clearly, you didn’t go home, so you didn’t make yourself a lunch. So lets go out and get something to eat.”

“I can’t just-”

“You’re not a robot, sweetheart. You need to eat.”

“Ransom...why?”

“You said the other night that I don’t know anything about you, and while that’s far from the truth, I realized that you don’t really know anything about me.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. You know how often I beg someone for anything? How often I let a woman stay the night? Never. I like you and I’m pretty damn sure you like me.”

“Sex doesn’t equal affection.”

Ransom just laughs and shakes his head before saying, “lunch is just a meal, darlin’. I don’t plan on fucking you on the table, unless you beg me to, so I don’t see the harm in any of it.”

“Ransom.”

“It’s just lunch,” he repeats.

Why can’t you ever tell him no?

“I only have an hour for lunch,” you mutter with a frustrated sigh.

“You can take a little longer than that.”

“Ransom-”

“Sweetheart, you’re never late to work. You’re allowed to have an off day.”

“And how would you know?”

“I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he smirks as he gets up, “I like you.”

Against your better judgement, you get up and grab your jacket, before following him out of the building with everyone’s eyes on the both of you. Ransom has a reputation, so it only make sense that everyone is wondering what the fuck you’re doing with him. At his insistence, you ride along with him in his Beamer to wherever the hell hes decided you two should eat at for lunch. The car ride is silent, mainly because you don’t know what to say and Ransom loves how uncomfortable you are, but a small gasp leaves your mouth when he pulls up to the restaurant.

No, it wasn’t anything fancy, but it definitely wasn’t necessarily cheap.

“Ransom...you don’t...we can go someplace else.”

“Just think of this as our first date,” he laughs as he shuts off the engine. “Besides, seafood is your favorite, isn’t it?”

“Ransom, if anything, this is an early dinner and I have to get back to work-”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do?”

“I told your job that I want you in charge of the changes we’re making to the look of the publishing company.”

“No...Ransom, you didn’t! Jack-”

“Won’t suspect a fucking thing because he’s an idiot. Plus, this is a business lunch or dinner since I’ve already hired you.”

“You don’t even know-”

“I imagine you’re paid so well and so high up in the company for a reason, right?”

“Ransom, I-”

“I have faith you’re not gonna fuck this up. So, stop stressing, and lets go eat, okay?”

It’s more of a demand than a request, but you follow his lead nonetheless and follow him into the restaurant, fighting the urge to hide into yourself as you’re both seated. Ransom’s gaze on you is invasive and you do your absolute best to avoid it as you look around the restaurant.

Why the fuck did you agree to this?

“Welcome to Fish, my name is Jonathan and I’ll be your server tonight,” the waiter smiles at the both of you as he approaches the table, “can I start you both off with drinks?

“I’ll have a water-”

“She’ll have a Mai Tai and I’ll have a bourbon on the rocks,” Ransom interrupts with an irritated sigh.

“Coming right up,” the waiter smiles before walking off.

“Ya know, we’re not going to get anywhere if you’re tense the entire time,” he mutters as he looks over his menu.

“I don’t know exactly know what it is that you want from me.”

“Would it helped if I fucked you in the bathroom?”

“Stop it, Ransom!” you snap quietly as he lets out a full bodied laugh.

“Jesus, it’s just drinks, food, and conversation. Relax.”

“Says the one who isn’t married. How the fuck do you even know you like me?”

“I’ve liked you for a while.”

“Yeah okay.”

“I mean it.”

“How long is a while, Ransom?”

“Remember in first grade? When Tommy Smotts was picking on me about my clothes?”

“You...you remember that?”

“I think about it every day.”

“You never said anything...you never spoke to me.”

“Why would I? You were nice and, in the world we live in, there’s no room for nice people. I kept waiting for you to turn into this bitchy party girl, like every other girl did, but you just kept being sweet and kind. Then you met Jack.”

“If you liked me, why didn’t you say anything? Why’d you let Jack scoop me up?”

“Why not? It wasn’t my business or concern. You’re both adults and capable of making your own choices-”

“But you wanted me and, from what I’ve heard, you’re the king of getting what you want.”

“You’re different.”

“How so?” you ask as the waiter places your drinks down.

“Can I start you two off with some appetizers?”

“No, but keep the drinks coming. We’ll be here for a while,” Ransom smirks, his eyes never leaving you.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into now?

**

“He’s such a liar! That’s not what happened at all!” you laugh as your next round of drinks are brought out.

“That’s what Jack said!” Ransom laughs.

“He’s a fucking liar! That’s not what happened at all! He locked us out of the Air BnB because he’s hard headed, then talked me into scaling the side of the house because he was afraid he’d fall and break something.”

“You scaled the side of a house for him even though it was his fault?”

“In my defense, I was in love,” you shrug as you take a sip of your drink.

“So, what do you know about me?” Ransom asks as he sits back a little, signature smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t know anything about except that you like to fuck.”

“What have you heard about me?” he chuckles.

“A lot of unkind things.”

“I can take it.”

“You’re a scumbag, you only lookout for yourself, you’re a cheater, a liar, you have a terrible temper, you had a hand in Harlan’s murder, you treat women like trash....the list goes on.”

“Yet, you chose to start this relationship with me.”

“It’s not a relationship, Ransom. We fuck and that’s it.”

“Then why do you stay whenever I tell you to?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for the last few months.”

“Because you like me too.”

“I like the way you fuck me.”

“You’re still gonna hide behind that after everything?”

“I’m not hiding from anything, Ransom. I’m married to someone else, and in all honesty, this shouldn’t have ever started.”

“Then why did you let it start?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state.”

“And the second time?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state,” you smirk and he laughs.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“Why you want me.”

“I like you.”

“Ransom, that’s not a fucking reason.”

“It is for me. I’ve never been infatuated with someone for this long, it only makes sense that I should act on it, don’t you agree?”

“It wasn’t enough for you to stop the wedding.”

“That’s what you think.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot and more than I should. I’m not going to tell you to leave him, because it’s not enough for you is it? I don’t want to commit and you don’t wanna commit to me because you have no reason to.”

“Ransom-”

“But you’re still here though, aren’t you?”

“So what?”

“You want to explore this as much as I do.”

“I don’t want to explore anything with you, Ransom,” you sigh as your phone starts going off. “Jesus Christ.”

“You can answer him.”

“I don’t want to answer him. God, how is this my life now?”

“You can always come with me.”

“Ha ha,” you mumble before taking a long sip of your drink. “It’s late, I have to get back.”

“We haven’t eaten yet.”

“What is this Ransom? Why are you fucking with me?”

“I’m not, I told you; I like you.”

“You don’t-”

“You love to dance around while you cook, you think pants are ridiculous and that’s why you’re always wearing dresses and skirts, you love horror movies but have to watch something funny after or you can’t sleep, you love football and baseball, you’ll listen to anything but you favor 90’s grunge, you spend the first half of your Saturdays watching cartoons, you spend most of your holiday time volunteering at shelters, should I go on?”

“...how...”

“I pay more attention than you think, sweetheart. That crystal blue earring and necklace dragonfly set Jack got you for your two year anniversary? That was my idea because he doesn’t pay any fucking attention to you and doesn’t have a fucking clue what you like,” he mutters, frustration very apparent.

“Then why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I told you why.”

“And I don’t believe you.”

“Y/N-”

“You’re the one that wanted to do this. Answer the question.”

“I just...”

“You just what?”

“You were never gonna give me a chance, Y/N. Between my reputation, my shitty family...you have more reasons to say no than yes.”

“You didn’t even try.”

“What would you have said?”

“Then? I honestly don’t know. Now? No.”

“Why no now?!”

“Ransom, that can’t be a serious question.”

“You like me-”

“I don’t know you! I just...you just...it’s complicated, Ransom. All of this is so complicated. I just wanna go away.”

“Lets go away together,” he suggests as if it’s not a big deal.

“You’re hilarious, truly. You could be a fucking comedian.”

“Lets fucking go. It’s not like Jack will notice. He barely pays attention to you now,” he mutters.

“Thanks for that,” you snap as your phone goes off again. “Fuck, let me just...hello?”

“I’ve been calling you for over an hour!” Jack snaps. “Where have you been?!”

“I do have a job, ya know. I decided to treat myself to dinner.”

“You haven’t been home-”

“Can we not do this? I put up with your shit last night and I don’t fucking feel like dealing with it again tonight.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t want it to happen that way. I really...I wanted to get it right.”

“Funny how you always want to get it right and still fuck it up every single time.”

“Just come home, please? I’ll make it up to you-”

“It was our fucking anniversary and you embarrassed me, yet again, in front of the people you insisted we have over. There’s no way can make it up to me. It’s done. Four years of this shit-”

“Stop it. You know I love and would do anything for you-”

“No, I don’t know any of that, because you’ve never shown or proved any of that.”

“Just come tonight and I’ll-”

“Why should I, Jack? Give me a good fucking reason.”

“Because I love you,” he sighs and you can tell that he’s tired.

Yeah well, you’re tired too.

“I don’t feel like doing this with you, Jack. Not today.”

“Please just come home-”

“What for?”

“You’re my wife, Y/N. You should already be-”

“Me being your wife doesn’t seem to stop you from all of the shady shit you always fucking do.”

“Please-”

“I don’t know, I might stay at Daisy’s again.”

“I don’t like you staying over there! She stays out all night and-”

“So do you,” you laugh incredulously, “at least she pays attention to me.”

“Honey-”

“I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later,” you sigh before hanging up.

“Ya know, he’s gonna text me soon. Should I tell him I have plans or...”

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Ransom. I-”

“Why not? It’s not like he’s being faithful to you, so what’s the big deal?”

“Because this isn’t who I am, Ransom. This is never the life I wanted! It’s not...it’s not the life I thought I’d....” you sigh as you wipe away a lone tear.

Why can’t you be more selfish? Why can’t you jus walk away from all of this?

“Lets go away together, just you and me,” Ransom suggests again.

“That’s not funny-”

“I’m not joking.”

“We can’t just go away-”

“He isn’t going to notice, baby. I know you don’t want to face that fact, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s just that: a fact. Tell him it’s for work, and we’ll go wherever you want.”

“Ransom...this isn’t a relationship.”

“It can be.”

“No, it really can’t. We can’t keep-”

“You like me, babe.”

“Whether I do or not-”

“You do.”

“Ransom, I’m married. It doesn’t matter that Jack is an asshole, this isn’t me. Sleeping around and having a “relationship” on the side...God, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You’re unhappy.”

“You’re never going to commit to me-”

“You don’t know that.

“Well would you? Would you walk away from all of it just for me?”

“Would you?”

“I’m not the one with something to prove, Ransom. You have reputation, I don’t.”

“That’s fair,” he sighs as he leans back.

“I need to get home.”

“You need to eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Another round of drinks?” the waiter asks with a smile.

Before you can even think, Ransom is answering, “she’ll have the crab-stuffed lobster and I’ll take the surf and turf, and yeah, we’ll take another round of drinks.”

The waiter just smiles and nods before walking off.

“I have to go!”

“You haven’t eaten all day and you’ve had 4 Mai Tai’s. I’m not taking you back on an empty stomach.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“It seems that’s all I ever do these days,” he mutters as he finishes off the rest of his drink as the new ones arrive.

“So...what’s wrong with you?” you question softly, starting to play with your fingers.

“Excuse me?”

“Why does everyone think you’re so terrible?”

“Because I am,” he smirks, as if he’s proud of himself.

“Then what the hell is so special about me?”

“Because you’re not like everyone else here. You’re not like the other...you didn’t let all of this shit leave you jaded. Even now, dealing with Jack and me...you’re being nicer than either of us deserve...I tried, okay? I just wanted to fuck and that would’ve been fine, but you...you’re still the same girl I had a crush in kindergarten, whether you see it or not.”

“No, I’m really not.”

“Daisy is still your best friend and she’s probably one of the biggest party girls around. You’ve never been anything but loyal to her and you’ve always defended her. Whenever you bother to go out, you laugh the loudest and dance until your feet hurt or your heels break. You still donate entirely too much money to charities and I know that you still give money to homeless guys on the street. You’re actually a good person, Y/N. Maybe if I wasn’t such a piece of shit, I would have pursued you a while ago, but I know that I’m not worthy of you. Hell, no one in this little group of shit heads is, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want you. I want you to myself and I want you bad. Why do you think I never kick you out of bed? Always beg you to stay? Beg at all?

Then Jack just fucking parades you around all the goddamn time...the fuck is so special about him? I took notice of you before everyone else did, so why the fuck does he get to be married to you? Why the fuck does he get to have your love and affection?” he scowls as the food is delivered.

Cue light bulb.

“Ransom, am I....did Jack steal me from you?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Ransom-”

“He didn’t even pay attention to you until I said something about you. I was fucked up at some fucking event my parents were throwing...you were wearing that dress with the fucking flowers...the one I destroyed last month, which really wasn’t my fault because your tits looked amazing in it. Anyway, I said something about how you always look beautiful and it’s frustrating...two weeks later, he’s flirting with you at your parents fucking dinner party.”

“So why...he never actually wanted me?”

“He did, but he didn’t see a reason to act on it until I said something. Apparently, I get everything I want and he wasn’t about to let that happen again. The thing is, I never would have gone after you, Y/N. Seeing you with him though...Y/N, he’s a fucking bastard and you know it.”

“So this just a pissing competition between the two of you?!”

“Can’t be much of a competition if he doesn’t know we’re seeing each other.”

“We’re not-”

“Yes we are, Y/N. Yeah, it’s just fucking, but you have feelings for me just as much as I have feelings for you. I may be the one asking you to stay over, but you always do. You’re in just as deep as I am.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Say that we can go away together and explore this more.”

“Ransom, I’m married-”

“To a complete piece of shit! Babe, you know you can leave him. You can leave and do whatever you want.”

“Like taking a chance on you?”

”Would it really be so bad?” he asks so softly, you barely hear him.

“Ransom, I just can’t take-”

“Why not? What’s so wrong with it? It’s a bit too fucking late have a moral compass about all of this.”

“You didn’t have to kiss me.”

“And you could’ve said no,” he replies with a coy smirk, but his tone lets you know that he’s hurt.

“I have to get back.”

“Eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Eat first and then I’ll take you back to your car,” he sighs in defeat.

The rest of the time spent at the restaurant is spent in silence and you feel like shit. Ransom is a lot of things, but you can tell he meant everything he said. When it was time to pay, Ransom whipped out his wallet before you could even reach for your purse. When you try and thank him, he just shakes his head and offers you a small smile.

When the fuck did all of this get so complicated?

“I can pay you back for the dinner,” you mumble softly once Ransom pulls up next to your car in the parking garage.

“It’s on me.”

“It was expensive-”

“It wasn’t expensive at all.”

“Okay, to normal people, it was expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he chuckles softly.

“We’ve got to stop, Ransom. This isn’t...it’s better if we stop.”

“Do you want to?”

“That’s not the point-”

“Sweetheart, do you want to stop?” he asks, taking your chin in his forefinger and forces your attention on him.

You don’t have the strength to lie and tell him ‘no’, because you don’t want to stop. Everything you’ve been looking for from Jack, Ransom gives you without hesitation. No, it’s not love, but there’s still affection, passion, and pleasure.

God, so much fucking pleasure.

The fact that you’re not saying a thing lets him know that he has you, and without hesitation, he’s dipping down and kissing you passionately.

And just like that, you’re reminded why you can’t quit him.

His kisses are always so desperate and urgent, but he’s got the softest fucking lips. No matter how aggressive and filthy the sex is, there’s still a softness in the way that he holds you. The way he caresses your face, grips your hair, cradles you...it all feels like heaven.

Ransom always feels like heaven.

In no time at all, you’re climbing into his lap and straddling him. Since he ripped off your panties last night, the only one who has to do any work is him.

“Always so wet for me, baby,” he groans as he teases your clit.

“You make me feel so good, Ransom! I can’t get enough,” whimper, grinding yourself against his hard length.

“You want me, sweetheart?”

“I always want you, daddy!”

“Then take it, baby. Take whatever you want from me, I’m yours,” he husks against your neck before kissing it.

Yes, you’re the one who keeps saying that you two need to stop, but it’s hard to think straight whenever his lips are anywhere on your body.

The gasp that leaves your mouth as you slide yourself down on his length has him smirking against your neck, “I love it when you make that sound.”

“You stretch me so good, baby,” you moan as you start to ride him.

Since you two are in the drivers seat of his car, your body is pressed up against his, and that makes his tight grip on you that much more pleasurable. Feeling his breath on your skin makes you all that much more desperate in the most pleasurable way.

“Could get lost in you forever,” he grunts, thrusting up into you, causing you to lull your head back and moan, “you look so fucking beautiful, baby. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

You look down at him, your hair falling in front of your face, and you start thinking about it. Yeah, pleasure is slightly clouding your judgement, but would it really be so bad to go away with him? Seeing if there’s anything more to this than just sex? Hes got a point: you are tired of making everyone else happy while you’re miserable, and for however fleeting it is, Ransom makes you happy.

However, the fact remains that Ransom is Ransom, and you’re terrified of getting hurt again.

“Gonna...gonna cum soon, baby,” you moan, gripping his shoulders tight.

“Give it to me, sweetheart! Cum hard for daddy!”

“Fuck!” you gasp as you squirt hard, leaning your forehead against his as he fills you with his desire, a low guttural growl leaving his mouth as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

You really do wish you could just stop.

“Come home with me.”

“I can’t, baby,” you breathe, pushing your hair back as you lift your head up.

“Sweetheart-”

“I’ve gotta go, Ransom. Thank you for dinner,” you smile at him before kissing him softly.

You ease yourself off of him slowly, navigating your way back to the passengers seat as gracefully as you can while his release drips down your leg, and smooth out your dress. You take a deep breath before grabbing your purse and getting out of Ransom’s car.

You don’t know why your seems to break a little, telling yourself that it’s not because you feel something other than desperate desire for Ransom, because why would you? How could you? You barely know the man. But you know it’s a lie. Somehow, Ransom has found a place in your heart.

He did the moment you opened your legs for him the first time.

**

It’s been forever since you’ve fucked in a car, so it makes sense that your legs are sore as you walk up the steps to the place where you live. As you fish through your purse for your house key, the door whips open revealing a furious Jack.

Great.

“Where the fuck were you?!” he demands as soon as you walk in.

“I told you that I took myself out for dinner, as usual, you weren’t listening,” you mutter, hanging your jacket up and kicking your shoes off.

“I called Daisy and she said that you hadn’t been by since you left for work this morning!”

Thank you Daisy for knowing when to lie.

“Are you fucking high? Cause that’s the only way to explain this conversation.”

“Don’t get cute with me!” he snaps, following you into the kitchen.

Yeah, he’s high as shit.

“I don’t understand why you’re getting mad about information you already knew, but okay, lets have another senseless argument. What’s wrong with poor old Jack tonight?” you sigh as reach for a glass.

“You don’t stay out all fucking night, Y/N! You can’t-”

“You do it all the fucking time, Jack! At least you knew where the fuck I was,” you scoff, pouring yourself a glass of whiskey.

When the hell did you start drinking so much?

“That’s different! I’m trying to save this-”

“Please do not say this marriage,” you laugh incredulously, finally turning to face him. “You’ve done nothing make sure this marriage fails for the last two fucking years. So no, you don’t get to stand here and bitch to me because you had to jerk your own dick for the last few months when you can’t find a cunt to get cozy in,” you spit, venom laced in every word.

You see the storm brewing in his eyes before you feel the sting across your face.

Yes, he’s come close to hitting a few times, especially when he’s fucked up, but hes never actually done it.

Your shock soon turns into an all consuming rage and you slap him back, with as much force as you can muster.

“You little bitch!” he yells before lunging at you.

Before you know it, you two are in an all out brawl in the kitchen. Thank God the the knives are in the drawers, because nothing seems to be off limits. If Jack isn’t hitting you with his fists or a plate, he’s biting you, and if can’t kick him, you’re reaching for whatever the closest object is and smashing him over the head with it. However, in the end, he gets the upper hand and is straddling you, beating you as if you’re the one who started this mess of a marriage in the first place.

When all is said, you lay on the floor bloodied and bruised, as he catches his breath and slowly rises to his feet.

“You are my wife, Y/N. It’s time you start fucking act like it. Don’t make me have to put you in line again. When I get back, I expect all of this shit to be cleaned up,” he demands, kicking you before he walks out of the kitchen.

You quietly sob as you hear him shuffle around, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys, before you finally hear the front door slam. This is why you’re sticking around? To be some piece of shit’s personal punching bag when you give him a taste of his own medicine? No, there has to be a life that’s better than this.

You give yourself a few moments to get yourself together, before you finally pull yourself up and pour yourself another drink, seeing as the other one was ruined when you threw the glass at Jack. You hobble out to the living area where your purse is and grab it, searching through it until you find your phone and calling the only person you have the strength and energy for at the moment.

“Hey babe, I’m on my way out. What’s up?” Daisy asks when she finally answers the phone.

“I need you to take me to the hospital,” you mumble since your lips have started to swell.

“What happened?!”

“I’ll tell you when you get here.”

With that, you hang up and make your way back into the kitchen, trying to ignore the pain in your heart that seems to outweigh the physical pain you’re feeling. You take a seat on a bar stool and resume your drinking when you feel your phone buzz.

Part Time Lover: I know you said no, but just come over tonight. I know Jack is out, cause he just called me all fucked up, so just stay over. Jesus, you can even start keeping clothes here if you want, I just want you here.

You don’t mean to laugh (mainly because it fucking hurts), but what else can you do? Not only did your husband just beat the shit out of you, but now you have Ransom practically begging you to start a relationship with him. You went from having the perfect life to living in a goddamn soap opera, and you’re not even sure who’s in charge anymore.

Cause it sure as shit isn’t you.

You’re in the middle of pouring your second drink when there’s a pounding on your door. You make your way over to it as fast as you can, your new limp slowing you down, but when you open the door you wish you would have taken time because as soon as you open the door.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Daisy yells as she makes her way inside.

“Please, I can’t do yelling right now.”

“Y/N-”

“Jack and I got into a fight. He won.”

“Jack did this?!”

“He stays out all night and it’s fine. I stay out all night and this happens.” “Yeah, he called me about that. Where the hell were you?”

“I’m not really ready to talk about that just yet. Can you please take me to the hospital? I’ve too many drinks and my entire body hurts, and I need to change the locks before that piece of shit gets home.”

“Yeah, c’mon. Lets get you fixed up,” she sighs, grabbing your sweater off the coat rack and helping you get into it.

“I need you to help me with the locks being changed, please.”

“Anything, whatever you need,” she promises as she helps you to her car.

“Dais, I promise I’ll tell where I was...what I’ve been up to, I just-”

“That doesn’t matter right now, wen just need to get you some help.”

It’s time like these that you’re extremely grateful for Daisy. No, you don’t have a habit of getting beat up by anyone, but Daisy always knows when to press on certain subjects and when to let them go. Yes, you still wish that she could suck it up from time to time and just be there for you when you need her, but she still shows up for you more than anyone else, and supports all of your good decisions more than anyone else.

By the time you show up at the hospital and are shown a room, you just want to go to bed. You know that you need to do this so that you can get some sort of restraining order against Jack, but you’re just so fucking tired. You’re about to tell Daisy your plan when your phone starts buzzing again.

Part Time Lover: Alright, what the fuck is going on? Jack just showed up with a busted lip, a bruise on his jaw, and there’s swelling around his right eye. He’s also bleeding from his ear and it looks like a bite mark? What the hell happened?!

Y/N: Don’t let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: What happened? Are you okay?

Y/N: Ransom, do not let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: I’m coming over.

Y/N: Ransom, please. Just keep him there and I don’t know, get him drunk or something.

Part Time Lover: Fine.

“Alright,” you tell Daisy softly, “Jack is at Ransom’s. Call Dan’s Locksmith Shop and tell them you need an emergency job done and that cost isn’t an issue. Meet them there-”

“What about you? I can’t leave you here-”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take a car service or something.” “Babe-”

“Daisy, I want him out of the house. Please, you can sleepover tonight if it’ll make you feel better, but I’ll feel a lot better once this is done. Please.”

“Fine,” she sighs in frustration.

“Now, they’re three hidden entrances, do you remember?”

“Yeah, and the trick window by the cellar.”

“Perfect. Now, have two keys made. One for me and one for you-”

“I get a key?”

“You always get a key,” you smirk and she laughs. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way home,” you promise.

“Are you sure you’re okay to be alone?”

“I’ll be fine, please.”

“Alright alright,” she sighs, kissing your forehead before making her way out.

As she goes out, the doctor comes in, and immediately gives you a look of pure sympathy.

That’s the last thing you want right now.

“Looks like you got beat up pretty bad. Wanna tell me what happened?” he asks softly, taking a seat on the chair in front of you.

You mean to tell the truth but what comes out instead is, “I got into a car accident.”

Filling out the paperwork would be a bitch and you don’t want the whole damn county in your business. You’re not even a member of the country club, but even you know how badly those women gossip and how vicious they can be. Not even thinking about how much you don’t wanna hear your mother’s thoughts on the situation, you don’t want to deal with the looks, the whispers, and the sympathetic looks.

‘Poor little Y/N, ended up in the same type of marriage as her mother.’

You’re not about to the new town gossip topic.

You can tell that the doctor doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t push it

. “Well, we should take a few x-rays and you’re gonna need some stitches.”

“Stitch me up, doc,” you smile weakly.

As the night goes on and you get fixed up, you can’t stop thinking about everything Ransom said. The fact that he remembered you sticking up for him all those years ago, how he never asked you out because of fear of rejection, and Jack.

The fact that your husband only went after you out of pure spite...how could you not see it? The more you think about it, the more you see all the signs you missed and you just want to kick yourself. At least Ransom had a slightly more believable story, because you both had that interaction...that one time, but with Jack...you two had never even spoken until that day. The more you think about it, the more you want to cry.

While doctor finishes up the last few stitches over your eye, you try and think about what your next move is. How the hell do you get out of your marriage and what the fuck are you gonna do about Ransom?

**

It’s been two weeks since the fight with Jack, which means that its been two weeks since hes stepped foot into the house.

That was a shit show.

“Y/N, are you fucking serious?! You changed the fucking locks on me?! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” he screamed, pounding on the door outside.

“You’re okay, I promise,” Daisy tried to reassure you as shook in her arms with tears streaming down your face. “He can’t get in here, I made them check multiple times that everything was taken care of.”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N! THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE TOO!” he roared, only pounding on the door harder.

Eventually, he got fed up and called the cops, but the minute they saw your face they told him it may be best for him to go somewhere else. That’s when the constant calling and texting started. A million apologies, promising that it’ll never happen again, telling you that he just wasn’t himself that night, and a million other useless promises. When that didn’t work, he called for help from your mother.

That didn’t make anything better.

“Y/N, open up this damn door right now and tell me what the hell is going on!” she screeched from the other side of the door.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you made your way over to the front the door.

The second you opened the door, her whole demeanor changed. “Oh sweetheart...he didn’t say....what did you do to provoke him?”

“This is my fault?!”

“I’m just saying...you know his father has a temper and I know that you can push buttons sometimes-”

“Okay, I’m you fucking daughter! Just this one time, can you take my side?!”

“I’m not saying that I’m not, it’s just...you already make more money than him and you know it bruises his ego-”

“Then maybe he should work harder instead of sleeping with every woman that flashes herself at him!”

“I’m not trying to make you upset-”

“Then you wouldn’t have asked what I did to provoke him! Jesus Christ! I stayed in this marriage for you! I tried to make it work for you! And this,” you emphasized as you pointed to your face, “is what happened! So you don’t get to come here and make me feel like shit!” you screamed at her.

She didn’t say anything else, she just nodded and walked away.

There was also the Ransom issue.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he asked him to keep Jack at his house, and he was getting fed up. It doesn’t help that he still doesn’t know what the hell happened, so after the fourth day of you ignoring him, he decided to act on revenge.

Which backfired on him.

“Hey, remember that house party Ransom had a month ago? The one where he fucked that chick on his balcony for everyone to see?” Daisy asked with a sly smirk on her face as she brought dinner into the bedroom.

You froze almost instantly, “uhm, I don’t think I was there.”

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I saw you there. I know for a fact that Jack was there.”

“I didn’t go because I didn’t feel like watching Jack flirt with other girls.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s why you let Ransom fuck you on his balcony.”

“Daisy-”

“He snitched on himself,” she laughed, loving the shocked look on your face. “I honestly didn’t think you had it in you! Not only did you cheat on Jack in front of everyone, but you also got your insides re-arranged in public?! Little Miss Modesty?!”

“Stop it, Dais,” you commented, feeling so incredibly small.

“What?! I’m fucking proud, honestly. Fuck Jack, at least now you’ve been fucked properly.”

“Dais-”

“You can’t tell me you feel bad about it!”

“It’s been going on for almost a year! I feel awful!”

“You’ve kept this from me for a year?!”

“I’ve kept it from everyone,” you sighed, feeling even worse, “we were just in our own little world and it was nice to have something for myself. It started on Jack and I’s vow renewal party last year, and every time I tried to stop...I just fucking couldn’t. Yeah, I know Ransom still sleeps around, but when I’m with him...Daisy, I just fucking forget how miserable I am for a while. Everything Jack hasn’t made me feel in the last few years, Ransom makes me feel, and I know, okay? I know it’s wrong and all of that, but he makes it so fucking hard to quit.”

“That’s the Ransom effect for sure,” she scoffed.

“Wait, how did he snitch on himself?”

“Well, he brought me back to his house last night and we were in the middle of hooking up when he moaned your name.”

“Excuse me?!”

What a piece of shit.

“Oh God, what did I do wrong?”

“Not you, him,” you growled.

“Fuck.”

“The night that everything happened with Jack...he took me out to dinner and said all of these things...then, he goes and fucks you?! My best friend?!”

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s not on you, Dais, it’s him. Whatever, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

“I mean...I wouldn’t...ya know what? I’m keeping my mouth shut.”

“Oh no you don’t! Tell me!”

“You kept this whole thing from me for a year-”

“That’s different and you know it!”

“Babe-”

“Tell me, Dais.”

“I don’t know, maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe it’s because he’s annoyed that hes been having to play housemates with Jack for two weeks, but the man really does seem hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, and he was drunk, but he admitted that he is worried about you. He’s mad that you won’t answer him...babe, why won’t you answer him? What happened?

“Daisy-”

“I never push, your secrets are always your own, but you’ve got to tell me something. This isn’t you, Ransom doesn’t care about anyone, but now he’s having revenge sex with your best friend, well...attempting to, and you’re getting mad about it? Ya gotta give me something, babe.”

So, you reluctantly told her everything. It’s not like you don’t trust Daisy with everything, but you were ashamed of yourself. You were ashamed of all of it. No matter what had happened between you and Jack, you weren’t a cheater. The relationship had turned you into someone you weren’t and for what? Some fractures, a busted lip, a few broken ribs, and a few too many bruises? Who the hell are you?

“It’s not like I want you to end up with Ransom,” Daisy started after you finished, “but I don’t think he’s lying.”

“Dais-”

“I’m not rooting for the kid-”

“He attempted to sleep with you, knowing that you’re my best friend-”

“Like I said, I’m not rooting for the guy, but I also get it. I genuinely do, from both sides. Ransom has never given a shit about anyone other than himself, at least not as far as anyone knows of, and then you came along. You gave him all the attention he wanted then took it away. Of course he doesn’t know how to react. I’ll definitely slash his tires the next time I see him, but I understand where he’s coming from.”

“He still tried to fuck you! He did!”

“Eh,” she shrugged, “his game was off and he didn’t cum. Plus, he was thinking about you, so that also takes points away. Tried is the right word.”

“Daisy!” you laughed, finally taking out your chopsticks and opening your container of dumplings. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”

“Don’t lie to me, or yourself for that matter.”

“I’m not!”

“Babe, if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have gotten so upset about him putting his dick in me,” she smiled sympathetically.

You hate that she had a point, because that meant all of the words he said to you in the restaurant actually meant something to you.

However, you’re still pissed at him, which is why you still haven’t responded to him.

You let out an aggravated sigh as your phone goes off for what feels like the millionth time. If it’s not Jack, it’s Ransom.

Part Time Lover: Jesus, can you just answer your fucking phone and talk to me?!

Y/N: Go away, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! I’M HOUSING YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT NOW! I THINK IT’S PRETTY FUCKING NICE OF ME SEEING AS HE’S WITH YOU AND I’M NOT!

Y/N: Besides try and fuck Daisy? Nothing.

Part Time Lover: Why are you mad at me if there’s nothing going on between us?

Y/N: You’re a fucking asshole, Ransom. I’m done with all of this shit.

Part Time Lover: The fuck you are! This is bullshit, I’m coming over!

Y/N: DO NOT!

When he doesn’t respond, you know you’re fucked and that he’s on his way. Besides the fact that you don’t want him to see you in your current state, you just don’t want to see him. Whatever you’re feeling towards him, you just want it go away, because he’s too much of a risk. You’re already in a fragile state and you need to start taking better care of your heart.

Yes, Ransom had shown you in his own way that he could be sweet when he wanted to be, but he also fucked Daisy all because you wouldn’t answer his calls and texts. He could have fucked anyone else, but he fucked Daisy to hurt you. You’re not about to leave Jack just to end up in the same damn situation.

You just want to start fresh. Hell, maybe you’ll even move. You’ve been tired of Marlborough for years anyway.

With an aggravated groan, you get out of bed and decide it’s time for you to figure out dinner. Daisy is probably gonna be out all night, so you really only need to worry about yourself. A sharp bang on your front door causes you to jump as you reach the landing, and you make a mental note to slap the shit out of Ransom when you’re back to full health.

“I know you’re home, Y/N! Open up so we can talk!” Ransom demands and you roll your eyes.

Home. What’s it like to have one of those?

“I’m not leaving and you know I’ll stand here all goddamn night if I have to! Open the fucking door!”

Besides the fact that you don’t want to get into a screaming match at 8pm, you really don’t want him to see all your scars and bruises. Hell, you’ve been working from home since everything happened. Ransom constantly calls you the most beautiful woman hes ever seen, but now? God, he’s gonna think you’re hideous now.

“Y/N!”

“What, Ransom?”

“I wanna talk to you, not your fucking door. Open up!”

“Ransom-”

“Jesus Christ, I’ll keep my fucking hands to myself, okay?! Open the fucking door!”

You let out a defeated sigh and unlock the door, cracking it a little and looking down, “what?”

“Will you please look at me? Listen, the Daisy thing was-”

“I don’t wanna talk about that and I don’t wanna talk to you. Now, please leave me alone.”

“Look at me.”

“Ransom-”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“Cause I don’t wanna see you, obviously.”

“Now you’re lying to me.”

“Stop it. Just go-”

“What don’t you want me to know? Does this have to do with why you kicked Jack out?”

“Ransom-”

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he demands but much softer now.

You say nothing as your eyes start to well up and you keep your gaze on your feet. You feel his finger on your chin and you turn away.

“Please,” you cry.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Please, look at me.”

You slowly look up and his eyes go from genuine concern to pure rage.

“Jack did this?” he asks, trying to keep an even tone, but his fists are clenched.

“He was mad that I didn’t come home that night, the one before we went to dinner at Fish...he was all fucked up when I got home and we got into an argument. Things were said, he got even more pissed off, then he slapped me. I slapped him back...we ended up fighting on the kitchen floor. Ransom, the only people who know are him, my parents, Daisy, and now you. Please don’t-”

“How bad was it?” “Ransom-”

“Sweetheart.”

“My lips were swollen, a broken rib, a few stitches-”

“A broken rib?! Did he fucking kick you?!”

“Ransom, please don’t-” “I’ll fucking kill him, I swear to God!”

“Ransom, stop it. I’m fine-”

“I know you don’t believe it, but you are mine. He doesn’t get to...I’m gonna snap his fucking neck!”

“Ransom please!”

“Are you okay? What can I do?”

“You don’t have to do anything, baby.”

God, that didn’t take long, did it?

“I’m gonna take care of that fucker-”

“Ransom please. I don’t need this getting out-”

“It won’t get out, but he doesn’t get to act like-”

“Please let it go.”

“No.”

With that, he was storming off towards his Beamer, slamming his door shut before speeding off.

Well, at least he didn’t run in the other direction when he saw you.

He’s so fucking hot headed though. You’ve heard about his temper, but you’ve never experienced it first hand. Yeah, it warms your heart that he’s so protective over you, but you don’t want him getting into trouble over you.

Especially when you aren’t even sure what the hell is going on between you two.

You don’t even have an appetite anymore. Instead, you make yourself a bag of popcorn and decide that a night of TV is whats best. Yeah, your phone is upstairs, but you’re spent. Horror films and popcorn will you set you straight for the night.

For the time being, you just want to forget.

**

“You like the party I threw for you, sweetheart?” Ransom grunted as he fucked into you hard from behind.

“F-for....for me?” you moaned, trying to think on anything other than the fact your body ached with pleasure.

Ransom had decided to throw a masquerade party and insisted that you come. He threw it together last minute, so you barely had a chance to get something together, but luckily the town Halloween shop had a few antique masks left.

It was very ‘Phantom of the Opera’ of him.

When you got there, Jack was already all over some brunette and you rolled your eyes, but you promised him you stay and make sure to say hi to him. In your defense, he was telling you all of this while he fucked you into your fourth orgasm while you two were in the shower.

You would’ve promised him anything.

When you finally spotted him in his study with a few of his friends, you smiled and gave him a small wave. You turned, ready to make your way to the kitchen, when you felt an arm around your waist.

“What the-”

The lips that cut you off instantly told you who it was. You were ready to push him until you remembered that you didn’t have to. Everyone was in masks, so it’s not like anyone would know it was you he was kissing. You barely ever left the house, no one would ever believe that you’re cheating on Jack, and it was a party at Ransom’s.

Everyone was probably already too fucked up.

“You came,” he breathed, once you broke apart.

“You asked me to,” you rasped, your mind in a haze from his surprisingly passionate kiss.

“Get yourself a drink and make your way up to my room.”

“What if someone’s in there?”

“No one here is dumb enough to do that,” he smirked as he went to walk away. “Keep your mask on,” he added before disappearing into the crowd.

At the time, you didn’t think anything of it. It was Ransom after all.

You made yourself a strong drink and made your way upstairs, ignoring all the sounds coming from the spare rooms. You were only a few sips in when Ransom burst into the room, closing his door and locking it.

“You look amazing, sweetheart,” Ransom complimented as he made his way over to you. In no time at all, he had your dress torn and off the floor. “Now, you look even better,” he laughed with that devilish grin of his.

From that moment on, the words you two were saying was ‘fuck me harder’, ‘you daddy’s fat cock so well,’ ‘please me cum, and things of those articulate nature.

So what the hell was talking about this being your party?

“Remember baby? That movie we watched the other night?” he husked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Movie? You two never watch any...oh. OH!

“Daddy-” “Got so fucking wet and excited for me watching that woman get fucked in front of everyone,” he cooed and you clenched around him at just the memory. “See? You loved it. So, daddy threw you this party so we could re-enact it.”

“C-can’t, daddy! So many people!”

“I’ll take care of that, Sweet Thing. That’s why daddy told you to keep the mask on. You’re my filthy little thing, and I don’t want anyone else knowing about it,” he growled before he pulled out, causing you to whine in dissatisfaction. “Go stand in front of that window, baby. Can’t fucking wait to fuck you like the nasty little thing you are.”

The logical part of your brain was screaming ‘FUCK NO! TOO FAR!’, but the blissed out part had you standing in front of that sliding glass door almost instantly. The fact that your husband was there and would more than likely recognize you didn’t seem to phase you at all. Ransom was the one who gave you everything you wanted, so Ransom was the one who got your loyalty at the end of the day.

No matter how fucked up or stupid that may have been.

“Look all the people who came to your party, pretty girl,” Ransom groaned as he easily slid cock back inside of you.

“Fuck!” you cried out, gripping the curtains tight as you tried to hold on.

You already knew you were gonna be sore in the morning.

“You know daddy would do anything to make you happy, right Sweet Thing? I’ll always take care of you...I’ll give you anything you want!”

“Daddy...I...”

“Gettin fucked so good you can’t even think huh?” he chuckled. “It’s about to get so much better, Sweet Thing.”

In one swift move, Ransom’s arm was around your waist and pulling you close, as his other hand undid the latch on the sliding glass door and he pulled it open.

Fuck.

“How’s everyone enjoying the party?!” he called as he walked you two out onto the balcony.

He was only met with cheers and cat calls, but you couldn’t feel any shame or embarrassment. Yes, it was wrong on so many levels, but the pleasure was just too much for you to focus on that at the moment. In that moment, you were living out one of your dirtiest fantasies with the man who worshiped your body and fucked you like you were the most important person in his world.

Guilt and shame be dammed.

Ransom bent you over and gripped the railing tight. You knew he was doing it to make sure you felt more comfortable, because that man had fucked you in so many positions, you knew him fucking you standing wouldn’t be a problem. With you bent over, your hair is covering your face, and even with a mask on, it makes it all that much harder to figure out just who the fuck you are. The gesture, though small and during a heinous act, was enough to tug on your heartstrings just a bit.

“Who’s that sweet little thing and when’s my turn?!” one of his friends called from below.

“I’m afraid she’s all mine,” Ransom laughed. “She’s such a good little slut, I’m too jealous to share. Isn’t that right, baby?”

All you can focus on doing is nodding, because your orgasm is building.

“I need to get me one!” Jack called and you mentally rolled your eyes.

Fucking idiot.

“Too fucked out again, baby?” Ransom coos in the condescending tone that always makes you whimper. “Be a good girl for daddy and I’ll take you back inside. The way this little snatch is clenching me...c’mon, cum for daddy!”

You cried out as your legs almost gave out and you squirted hard, Ransom’s grip on your waist getting tighter as he fucked you through your high and filled you with his own release.

“Atta boy!” Jack called, and if you weren’t so fucked out, you would have laughed.

“I think she agrees,” Ransom responded with a breathy laughed and a smirk to your face.

What a fucking asshole.

“Wanna go back inside and play some more, baby?”

You just nodded.

“Alright, my girl wants to go again, so I’ll see you fucks later!” he called and he was met a crowd of ‘boo’s. “I know, she puts on a hell of a show, doesn’t she?” he laughed as he pulled out.

In almost a blink of an eye, Ransom was lifting you upright, spinning you around, and carrying you back into his bedroom.

“You okay, sweetheart? Was it too much?” he asked as he closed the door and locked it.

Your response was to wrap your arms around him and kiss him like you hadn’t seen him in years.

“I guess not,” he laughed as when you two broke apart.

You both kept each other up for hours that night, and Ransom was so fucking gentle with you after all was said and done. It was almost like he was a completely different person.

“I meant what I said before,” he told you softly as you drifted off to sleep; your head on his chest as he gently stroked your arm.

“Hmm?” you questioned even though you were barely awake.

“I’d do anything to make you happy. I’ll always take care of you.”

“Why can’t you ever answer your damn phone?!” Daisy yells, waking you up from one of your favorite memories, as she runs into the house.

“It’s upstairs,” you answer with a yawn, stretching yourself as much as you can without hurting yourself.

“You should’ve come out tonight!”

“Dais, I am still missing a fucking rib. I don’t feel like going out.”

“You never felt like going out before you were missing a rib,” she scowls as she takes a seat next to you on the couch, “guess who made an appearance tonight!”

“I don’t know, Big Bird?”

“Have you had a drink? You’re more fun when you drink,” she bites, getting up and making her way into the kitchen.

“Daisy!”

“Just have a fucking drink!”

“It’s 1am and I’m on pain meds-”

“The last time you took them was at 7:30. You forget that I stay here, you can have a fucking drink, Y/N.”

“Am I really that terrible?”

“If you’re not crying, you’re yelling. While understandable, you need to feel other emotions besides misery and anger,” she mutters as she makes her way back into the living area with a whiskey neat.

“I’m just-”

“I know, babe. I really do, but you didn’t do this. He did. You wouldn’t have ever slept with Ransom if he would have been as loyal to you as he said he would have. Yeah, I’m not happy that you ended up staying, but you did try and leave. I really can’t stand your fucking parents,” she scowls. “Anyway, guess what happened at the club tonight!”

“You’re way too excited, so...sex?” “Not tonight, I came home early just for you!”

“1am is early?”

“Y/N!”

“Oh my God, what happened?!”

“Ransom beat the shit out of Jack!”

“WHAT?!” you yell, wincing in pain at the force behind it.

“He stormed into the club, in a full fucking rage, sought out Jack, and just started fucking laying into him!” “Fuck! I told him not to!” “I’m sorry, you knew that this was going to happen?!”

“He came by, mad that I wasn’t responding to his text and calls, and he saw me and got furious. I told him not to, but he was just so angry...”

“So, all of this is because Jack beat the shit out of you?”

“He said that I’m his and that Jack can’t do shit like this...God, he was so angry. I’ve heard about his temper, but I’ve never seen it up close.”

“Well...do you wanna see the fight?”

“You recorded it?!”

“Well, I tried FaceTiming you, but you didn’t answer,” she shrugs and you laugh softly. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! I enjoyed it!”

“Dais, I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Especially over me.”

“Babe, I love how genuine you are, but Jack is a piece of shit. He treats you like shit, he’s always making an ass out of himself and embarrassing you, he’s constantly cheating. Even tonight, he was making out with some woman at the bar, but he’s supposed to be trying to win your love back! Him getting his ass beat is what he deserves, I don’t feel bad at all.”

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“Then get one!” “I can’t force him to sign the fucking papers, Dais. Did you forget the last time?”

“There has to be something...you filed a report, right?”

“No.”

“Y/N!”

“Please don’t, I just don’t wanna deal with the whispers, the stares, my mother...God, my fucking mother,” you scowl.

“Yeah, I’m still going to curse her out the next time I see her.”

“Daisy.”

“No, fuck her! ‘What did you do to provoke him?’ What the fuck is her problem?!”

“She’s a product of her environment. Her mother said the same thing to her the first time my father hit her.”

“You’re far too forgiving and understanding,” Daisy mumbles.

“I made peace with my issues with Jack a while ago. Whatever the hell is going on between Ransom and I...he didn’t need to do that.”

“He cares about you.”

“Dais-”

“You know I’m no great believer in love, but I’ve been telling you for years that his eyes are constantly on you, watching every little thing you do. He defended you that one time-”

“When did he ever defend me?”

“That time Jennie Taggs was making fun of you because your mother made a complete jackass out of herself at your sweet 16. She wouldn’t stop talking about it that following Monday, and Ransom casually asked her how much longer her father is gonna be in prison for money laundering.”

“I completely forgot about that!”

“In your defense, he said it then walked right out of the classroom. I think you had zoned out.”

“No, but I remember Jennie calling me a fucking bitch and you telling me what the hell happened. Okay fine, he watches me a lot and defended me that one time-”

“When have you ever seen him defend anyone? Really think about that question.”

“Dais-”

“He’s a piece of shit, but he’s a piece of shit whose always had a thing for you. He probably never asked you out because you would’ve been smart and said no.”

“That’s what he said,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink.

“You talked to him about it?!”

“I told you he took me out to dinner-”

“But you didn’t say what was discussed.”

“He wants me to go away with him.”

“Do it.”

“Daisy!”

“What, Y/N? What is so wrong with letting him take you out and spoil you? And don’t you dare fucking say it’s because you’re married.”

“I am married!”

“Your husband beat the shit out of you, Y/N. It’s not exactly a healthy or functioning marriage.”

“Daisy, please-”

“Seeing if there’s something more doesn’t make you a bad person, hun. It would be one thing if Jack were actually good to you and trying to make things work, and you were out being a piece of shit. You have tried everything to try and make this marriage work, and hes gone out of his way to make sure it won’t, and then makes you feel like you’re crazy for not wanting to stay with him. I’m not saying you need to go on this trip and come back married, but for fucks sake, have some fucking fun! He clearly likes you, a lot, and you feel something for him. You don’t laugh like you used to anymore, you rarely leave the house, you’re miserable all the time, you cry constantly, and now this. Just go away with Ransom. You deserve a break.”

“I’ll think about it. I’m gonna go to bed though,” you sigh, finishing the rest of your drink before getting up.

“I have to go home for a few days-”

“Dais, you don’t have to keep staying here. I appreciate you looking out for me and taking care of me-”

“I don’t mind it. I know you’re still scared and you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you. It’s no problem at all.”

“Daisy-”

“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t mind doing any of this, I love you. It’s not a burden, you’re not being a bother, and I’m happy to do it.”

“You are probably the most selfless person I know.”

“That’s fucking tragic,” she laughs. “Is there anything I can do, babe?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna turn on TV and try and go back to sleep.”

“Please watch a horror movie and pretend that you’re the killer and the person you’re chasing is Jack,” she begs.

“Don’t make me laugh!” you chuckle, feeling pain all over. “I love you,” you tell her softly before dipping down a little and kissing her forehead.

“I love you too, babe. Get some rest.”

The second you’re in your room, you slowly make your way over to your bed and slowly get it, grabbing your phone and contemplate checking in. If Daisy had called you, Ransom had definitely tried to get in touch with you. You settle under your blankets and decide (against your better judgement) to check your phone.

5 texts from Ransom, 6 missed calls from Ransom, 12 missed calls from Babygirl, 6 FaceTimes missed from Babygirl, 3 texts from Babygirl, 10 texts from Piece of Shit.

You completely disregard Jack’s texts (like always), and go right to Daisy’s texts, laughing a little when you see that she sent you the fight along with a text that reads

‘Just in case you change your mind ;)’

Next...Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I saw Daisy at the club tonight, so I know you’re gonna hear all about me beating the shit out of Jack. I know you said not to, but seeing you like that...sweetheart, I couldn’t let it go.

Part Time Lover: We’re back to you ignoring my calls? Great.

Part Time Lover: Babe, just answer the phone and talk to me.

Part Time Lover: Are we really back to this? You’re this mad that I rightfully beat that piece of shit’s ass?

Part Time Lover: I’ll leave it alone for now, but this isn’t done.

You sigh in frustration, because you know you need to leave it alone, but you can’t. After tonight and all hes done, you can’t leave Ransom alone. You’re calling Ransom before you give yourself a fair chance to talk yourself out of it.

The phone barely rings before he answers it.

“Decided to stop being mad at me?” he answers with a slight slur and you sigh.

“I was sleeping. Daisy woke me up when she got home and told me about...”

“You can’t really be mad at me.”

“Ransom, I begged you not to-”

“He put you in the hospital-” “Ransom-”

“I kicked him out, sweetheart. He’s back in with his parents and-”

“Ransom, what do you want from me?”

He’s thoughtful before he says, “ I want you and I to take a trip together.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s not the worst idea, sweetheart. Just say yes. This will give us a chance to really know each other. Well, a chance for you to get to know me.”

“Where would we even go?”

“Where do you wanna go?”

You’re think a bit before saying, “they turn the river green in Chicago soon for St. Patrick’s Day...I’ve always wanted to go and watch...we can go together.”

“Chicago? That’s where you wanna go?”

“Ransom.”

“Okay okay, we’ll go. However, St. Patrick’s is a little more than a month away-”

“I still need to heal, babe.”

“I want to see you before then.”

You sigh before admitting, “Dais just told me she needs to go back to her house for a few days...I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if you stayed here.”

“You don’t have to sound so fucking miserable about it.”

“I don’t know what it is that you want from me, and I’m trying...I am married at the end of the day, and this is wrong. All of this is so wrong on everyone’s end-”

“God, you’re so fucking pure it’s painful.”

“Ransom, stop it.”

“I’ll stay over, okay?”

“No, never mind. Maybe-”

“I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Why?”

“I like you a lot more than I should. I always have, like I told you. Seeing what you’ve had to put up with...I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“Ransom-”

“Just say yes,” he begs softly, again.

Your heart is answering before your brain has a chance to register, “o..okay. Only a few days.”

“That’s more than good enough for me.”

“Don’t start.”

“What time should I come over?”

“Whenever you’ve slept off the alcohol.”

“Y/N.”

“I guess in the afternoon? I don’t know. It’s not like this is the best idea.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“It’s not like we’re doing anything right.”

“If you really want me to back off, I will.”

“I don’t know what I want, Ransom! That’s the problem!”

“Yes you do, you just don’t wanna say it.”

“Ransom-”

“Just sleep. We both need sleep. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Don’t be fucking mad.”

“Goodnight, Ransom.”

“Night,” he mutters before hanging up.

It’s not lost on you that hes only told you he put Jack out because he wants you to come over, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Your body starts hurting at the thought of leaving the house, so driving is so far out of your mind right now.

Also, what the fuck?!

You’re supposed to just go over because he beat up your husband (which begged him not to do)? It’s a love letter you never fucking asked for and you, quite honestly, don’t need. If anything, it makes everything more complicated and annoying, because you know for a fact that he’s gonna tell his parents what happened and they’ll talk to your parents. The whole thing is a fucking nightmare and you wish you hadn’t told Ransom to come over or that you’ll go away with him.

Not enough to take it back though.

You and Ransom have been fucking around for a little over a year now, and he’s only now telling you that hes always had a thing for you. You don’t know if this is all just a mind fuck or not, but you know that when you’re with him, you’re happy. If anything, tonight shows you that he has to at least give a bit of a fuck about you. Yes, it’s always been sex, but with how much he’s trying to keep you to himself now...can he really be all that bad?

Letting out a frustrated groan, you settle under the covers and turn on the TV, deciding that ‘Empire Records’ is good enough background noise to drift off to.

As you slowly succumb to the darkness of unconsciousness, your mind can’t stop focusing on one person and all of the things he makes you feel.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

**

“No,” you groan as your phone goes off for what you’re assuming to be the hundredth time.

You heard it in your sleep, but had absolutely no desire to answer it.

You mindlessly grab your phone, eyes still closed, and answer, “hmm?”

“Since when do you sleep like the dead?” Ransom questions.

Your eyes shoot open.

“It was a long night. What’s up?”

“I’m here.”

“What? Why? It’s still early-”

“It’s 1:30, babe. Are you okay?”

“I’m just...just tired,” you yawn as you sit up, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

There’s no sense in trying to get yourself together, since he’s already seen you when you first wake up and as you are now. You toe on your slippers and make your way downstairs as quick as you can, stopping in the kitchen first to take your pills before making your way to the front door.

“You okay?”

“You can’t park there, Ransom,” you mumble, seeing his car parked on the cobblestone driveway. “He comes by sometimes and the last thing I need is for you two to have it out again. I’ll open the garage for you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“We’ll talk once you’re inside.”

You close the door and make your way to the basement, hitting the switch that slide the doors up and wait for him to pull in.

You can still tell him no. You’ve already kicked your husband out and he actually lives there, you can definitely change your mind and tell Ransom to go home. There’s no reason for him to stay, because there’s no way for Jack to get in unless he breaks in, but there’s a security system set in place (at Jack’s demand) so there’s nothing to worry about. You can easily tell Ransom never mind and to go home.

But you don’t want to.

You can chalk it up to you being lonely and vulnerable, but you know that Daisy made a good point. You’re not in some loving wonderful marriage and you deserve to at least see if there’s anything real between you and Ransom before you dive back into hell by trying to get another divorce.

“What’s going on with you?” Ransom asks, pulling you out of your thoughts as he gets out of his car, duffle bag in hand.

“It’s just been a rough couple of weeks. I’m mentally exhausted, my body hurts...I’m dealing with everything. Trying to figure everything out.”

“You don’t ever sleep this late.”

“Like I said, it’s been a rough couple of weeks,” you mutter, stepping aside to let him in.

He sighs as he makes his way in and follows your lead,“do you really not want me here?”

“I told you last night: I don’t know what I want.”

“I miss you, Y/N.”

“That’s why you fucked Daisy?”

“That and I was fucking mad at you.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“At least I didn’t beat the shit out of you.” “I’m sorry, do you want to go home.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mutters as he drops his duffle bag. “I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too, Ransom.”

“Not just fucking you, Y/N. I missed you. Seeing what he did to you...why you were so desperate for me to keep him at my house...I know you asked me not to but, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it.”

“I’m not yours to worry about, Ransom.”

“Yes you are.”

“Don’t. Don’t act like we’ve always been meant to be and I’m missing the point. You never said anything and now I’m supposed to just trust you?”

“Have I ever given you a reason not to?”

“YOU FUCKED DAISY!”

“Besides that!”

“Of course you’d say,” you laugh humorlessly, “I don’t even know you, Ransom.”

“Yet, you still want me here.”

“Cause I miss you, Ransom. I don’t know why, but I do.”

“Because I make you happy and I make you feel good.”

“That’s not enough for a relationship. It doesn’t help that I trust you less now than I did before.”

“We can work on that,” he promises softly as closes the small distance between the two of you. “If you want me to go-”

“I want...I want you to stay. I don’t want to be alone and I miss you.”

“He’s not gonna hurt you again, sweetheart.”

“I don’t wanna think about it right now. It’s always on my mind and-”

“Tell me what you wanna do.”

“I just wanna feel okay. For once, I want to be okay.”

“Let me help with that,” he mumbles before cupping your face and kissing you deeply.

It’s funny how quickly you forgot how soul stealing his kisses are.

“Ransom,” you breathe once you two break apart, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My body still hurts.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he growls and you laugh softly.

“Let me show you around.”

He picks up his bag before following you up the steps, and without even facing him, you can tell that he’s staring directly at your ass.

Men.

Initially, you told yourself that Ransom would sleep in one of the guest rooms, but now that he’s here (and has kissed the hell out of you), you make the dangerous decision to let him sleep in the same bed as you. The moment you open the bedroom door, he throws his bag down and gently pushes you against the wall.

Yeah, the guest room isn’t gonna work for you.

“Ransom, I just told you that I can’t,” you moan, barely making an attempt to push him off of you as he kisses down your body.

“We don’t have to do that, but there are other things we can do. Other things things that’ll make you feel better,” he husks, getting on his knees and lifting up the shirt you’re wearing. “When’s the last time you had an orgasm, sweetheart?”

“The last time I saw you,” you whimper, gripping his hair. “Ransom...oh fuck!” you mewl as he licks your clit. “You don’t have to-” “I want to. God, you don’t know how fucking bad I’ve missed this pretty little cunt, baby,” he growls before diving in.

As you lean against the wall while Ransom eats you out (like he hasn’t touched a woman in years), you think about what any of this means. What you want it to mean. Ransom has started to mean more to you than you ever thought he would, but what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? What the fuck are you supposed to do with him?

One thing is certain: Hugh Ransom Drysdale is now a major part of your life.

**

“Where you going?” Jack asks again as you pack your bags.

“On a business trip,” you lie with a frustrated scowl.

In the time its taken for you to convince yourself that a trip with Ransom is the right choice, a lot has happened. In all honesty, you know that you shouldn’t go with him, but you’re addicted him at this point. Since he stayed over for those few days, Ransom really has tried his best to show you that he means every thing he says and will go to every length to show you that.

“What do you even do again?”

“Jack, we’ve been together for over four years, you should know this already.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“Marketing design, I’m in control of marketing design.”

“Since when do you start taking trips?”

“There was an offer and I-”

“We’re trying to work on-”

“No, you’re trying to work on this marriage, I’m just existing at this point. I told you I want a divorce and you refuse to just sign the papers.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry-”

“Sending your Mommy to talk me because I wouldn’t talk to you? Real fucking great-”

“I didn’t send her-”

“You didn’t fucking tell her to stay out of it either!”

In the middle of day two of Ransom staying with you, Jack’s mom showed up to plead her son’s case.

“Just be quiet and stay here,” you giggled, trying to get out of Ransom’s hold.

“Ignore her.”

“She’s my mother-in-law. I can’t just ignore her.”

“It’s your house, you can do whatever you want.”

“Ransom-” “You have work to do anyway.”

“You’re a selfish man.”

“Yes, I truly am, so just stay here with me,” he begged as he kissed your shoulder.

“Ransom.”

“It’s annoying. Being with someone who doesn’t do exactly what you say is pretty fucking annoying.”

“Go cry to Jack about it.”

“Can you fuck yet?”

“Ransom!”

“Fine, go and spend time with the wicked bitch. I’ll stay here,” he scowled.

“Give me a kiss.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you like me so much,” you smirked and he scoffed.

“Spoiled little shit,” he smiled before cupping your face and kissing you deeply. “Hurry back,” he husked after you two broke apart.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

You were reluctant to get up, but nonetheless got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made your way. You took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself before opening the door.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jack’s Mother sighed the second you opened the door.

“Why don’t you come inside?” you offered, stepping aside and letting her in before softly closing the door behind her.

You knew it was going to be a shit show, but God did you underestimate how much. You poured the both of you a drink before you joined her at the kitchen table; you sitting across from her. You set the bottle of whiskey in the middle and just smiled at her.

You’re both quiet for at least five minutes before she said, “he’s so incredibly sorry.”

“Tell that to my broken rib.”

“He was out of control. He said he’s gonna get help-”

“Margret, I know you’re his mother, but you know it’s bullshit.”

“He wants to change-”

“And how many times did David tell you the same thing?”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, but you can see me, can’t you? You see what I look like? You know that I’ve barely left the house in the house in two weeks? I’ve been working from home-”

“Quitting would help solve-”

“Why should I give up my career? I went to college and worked my ass off for a reason. I should quit because your son is sensitive? I quit and then what? I wait around for him to come back home from cheating on me?”

“He said that he’s never-”

“You don’t believe that. I know you don’t believe it.”

“Level with me here, Y/N,” she sighed. “You know how these things go-”

“I’m not a fucking business transaction, Margret. The person he sold me on and the person he is now are two different fucking people. I don’t love him anymore-”

“It won’t always be-”

“He beat me up, Margret! I don’t want to wait for him to be the person he promised me he’d be on our wedding day!”

“You think you’re special? You think every woman in this county wasn’t promised the perfect life? You don’t think we’ve all had our fair share of bruises? Your Mother? This is what comes with the life-”

“No, it comes with your life because you allow it. I don’t want this for myself!”

“Why can’t you just let it go? He’s sorry! Clearly, Ransom is taking care of you-”

“What does that mean?”

“Jack told me that he got into a fight with Ransom before he kicked him out. I can’t help but think-”

“Well try to,” you snapped before you grabbed your glass and finished off your drink. “Ransom and Jack have their own relationship. I haven’t spoken to Jack since that night, so I don’t know what the hell happened.”

“Everyone knows that boy has a thing for you, don’t act like-”

“Hes never said two words to me. Even at the wedding, where he was Jack’s best man, he didn’t say a thing to me. So, whatever the hell is going on between them has nothing to do with me.”

“I’m not going to tell him, honey. Everyone has their fun on the side-”

“Do you not hear how fucked up all of this sounds? I don’t want any part of this!”

“It’s all apart of the game, honey. They commit their sins and we’re here for their repentance.”

“Maybe for you, but it’s not what I want for me.”

“Y/N-”

“I want a fucking divorce, Margret. He can have whatever he wants, I don’t care, I just want out. The cheating was one thing, but if he’s hellbent on turning out like his father, I want no part in any of this anymore. I don’t want to keep up the act.”

“You need to understand how easy you have it.”

“You need to understand that I don’t want to be married to your son anymore.”

“So, you’re willing to throw it all away?”

“There’s nothing to throw away in the first damn place.”

“I’ll reach out to you soon,” she huffed before finishing her drink and getting up. “I know you two can work this out.”

With that, she walked out (slamming the door shut), and you were left to your own devices. As you poured yourself another drink, you heard her rev her engine before she peeled out of your driveway.

You threw her glass into the recycle bin before grabbing another for Ransom, filling it then your own, before you closed the bottle and made your way back upstairs.

“That didn’t sound pleasant at all,” he scoffed once you were back in the bedroom, putting down your glass and the bottle on your nightstand.

“How bad do you wanna fuck me?” you asked, handing him his drink before you got on the bed and straddled him.

“Real fucking bad, but I don’t want to-”

“I don’t give a fuck that it hurts, Ransom. I want you to fuck me like you want to. Fuck me like I’m your little play toy.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Do you want me?”

“Just because I want you doesn’t mean I want to hurt you.”

“I want it, Ransom. I want you,” you moaned as you grind yourself against him.

“What happened, sweetheart?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just want you.”

“Then have me.”

While doing his best to be gentle that afternoon, he took his time pulling you apart over and over again. Yes, it was painful, but the pleasure was so strong that you didn’t give a fuck. He was so gentle with you after and it only made your heart desire him that much more. He really had no reason to try and lie, but he truly wanted to show you that he was all in.

He wanted you to understand just how much he cared.

The next morning, he made you breakfast in bed, which resulted in more sex.

Then your parents came over.

“You don’t have to answer them, babe. It’s your house,” Ransom sighed as you got dressed.

“You think they’ll just go away? If I don’t answer, they’ll just call. They’ll call until I answer and then, they’ll demand that I let them in.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to do what everyone-”

“Don’t Ransom. Just don’t. You and I aren’t the same and you wouldn’t understand.”

“Do you want to talk to them?”

“It’s pretty obvious that I don’t.”

“Then don’t fucking do it. You’re far too kind to people that don’t deserve it.”

“Well, if I lived by that motto, you wouldn’t be in my bed, would you?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I have to talk to them,” you chuckled before grabbing one of his cigarettes and his lighter, “I’ll try to not keep you waiting too long.”

“You better not. Give me a kiss.”

“Spoiled little shit,” you giggled before you dipped down to kiss him.

You pulled on one of the many sweaters he sent you home in before you made your way downstairs and getting ready for one of the dumbest talks you’d ever have.

“You can’t keep this up, Y/N,” your Mother sighed once you opened the door; your Father just staring at his feet.

“Keep what up?” you asked, placing the cigarette between your lips and lighting it.

“When did you start smoking?”

“A year ago. Come inside, we’ll go to the back deck.”

“It’s not good for you,” your Mother snapped as she gently pushed her way past you, your Father following her but still not looking at you.

“Not many things are these days,” you shrugged as you led them to the backyard, “why are you here?”

“We spoke to Margret-”

“Oh did you now?”

“Y/N, we know that Daisy’s been staying here. Keep it up and people are going to think that you’ve started some sort of relationship with her.”

“I should be so lucky. She’s gorgeous.”

“That’s not funny!”

“Who says I was joking? Did you hear me laugh?”

“You want the people in this county to think-”

“Honestly, who give a fuck? Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks?”

“I don’t care for your choice of language!” your Mother snapped.

“I don’t give a fuck what you care for,” you snapped as you all sat down in the extravagant sitting area that adorned the backyard patio. “You’re at my house about to ask me for the worst thing a parent-”

“Y/N, please. I know...They’re things that are expected-” your father started.

“You’re gonna ask me to take him back, but you still can’t look at me?” you interrupted him before you settled back into your chair and took a drag from your cigarette.

“Sweet Pea-”

“If you’re gonna speak to me, fucking look at me,” you snapped at your Father. “What? Am I that ugly, or do I remind you too much of how Mom looked after you would discipline her?”

“Y/N!” your Mother snapped.

“I know what we’re asking for...what we’ve been asking for isn’t fair,” your Father sighed be he lit his own cigarette, “but you’ve already married the boy. We’re not asking you to faithful, you and Ransom-”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING UP RANSOM?!”

“You haven’t seen Jack, but we have and Ransom didn’t give an explanation as to why he fought him-”

“So, it’s automatically got to be because of me? I’ve just gotta be fucking him for him to be mad at Jack?”

“Don’t make me out to be a fool, Y/N. I know we’ve made your life miserable, but-”

“Exactly. You’ve already asked too fucking much of me and I’m tired. I am so damn tired.”

“Just take the boy back-”

“I don’t want to! I just want a divorce and to be left the hell alone!”

“You won’t get any peace for at least two years, Y/N,” your Mother sighed, leaning back into her chair. “The family name-”

“The family name, the family name, THE FAMILY FUCKING NAME!” you screamed and she rolled her eyes.

“No one knows what happened, no one knows that you kicked him out, and no one know that he...”

“That he fucking beat me? He fucking beat me, Mom. He pinned me down and beat the shit out of me. That’s what fucking happened. That’s what you’re asking me to go back to.”

“Y/N, the family name doesn’t need to wrapped in another scandal,” she sobbed.

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“It will be everywhere! Your Father is about to retire and he’s had an amazing career! Your divorce from Jack-”

“Do you hear how selfish you sound?!”

“Yes, and I’m sorry, but this isn’t about just you. You may have Jack’s last name, but you carry the family name-”

“How much longer do I have to put up with this?”

“Y/N, just take the money and have fun,” your Father sighed. “Linda Drysdale is still married to Richard, isn’t she? He cheated, she gave him a black eye, and they’re fine now!”

“So, that’s supposed to be my life now?”

“It could be a lot worse,” your Mother sniffed as you ashed your cigarette.

“Do you two even love each other?”

“Love is a complicated thing, sweetheart,” she muttered, looking away from you and turning her attention to your garden. “Your roses look like they’ll come in nice this year.”

“They’ll be the only thing,” you practically whispered as you looked up to your bedroom window, knowing the window is open and Ransom heard everything.

Fuck.

“So, you’re just gonna take him back? Because your parents asked nicely?” Ransom asked as soon as you got back into the bedroom.

“Please don’t-”

“Baby-”

“It’s what’s expected of me, Ransom. What do you want me to do?”

“Whatever the fuck makes you happy!”

“I’m not you! I can’t just-”

“You can do whatever the fuck makes you happy! You can do whatever the fuck you want!”

“Why does it matter so much to you?!”

“BECAUSE WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER!”

“THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING AT THE WEDDING YOU WERE ALL TOO HAPPY TO BE APART OF!” you yelled, instantly regretting it once you feel the pain in your ribs. “Goddammit!”

“Are you okay?” he questioned, making his way to your side almost instantly.

“Jesus, why do you have to go and prove them all wrong?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so fucking sweet and kind to me?”

“I already told you,” he smirked as he helped you over to the bed, “I like you a lot more than I should.”

It’s not lost on you that Ransom is someone you shouldn’t trust, but he just makes you so damn happy, to the point that he makes you feel like this is something you should try. Do you love the man? No the fuck you don’t. Do you like him more than you should?

Obviously.

Jack lets out a frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair, “I can go with you.”

“That would imply that I want you to come at all.”

“I want to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jack. I don’t want you or this marriage anymore, and you won’t give me what I want-”

“If my parents can make it work, so can we!”

“Does no one fucking listen to me when I talk? I DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU ANYMORE! I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!”

“In time-”

“I’ve gotta go or I’ll miss my flight,” you interrupt, grabbing your suitcase and starting out of the room.

“Y/N, is there someone else?”

“What would it matter if there was?”

“We can’t work this out if you’re with-”

“I’m gonna stop you there,” you laugh, “I’ll see you in a week. Try not to burn down the fucking house during one of your drug fueled binges, and whatever girls you bring back, make sure they take all their clothes with them when they leave.”

“You weren’t always this fucking cruel.”

“And you weren’t always a pile of shit. Well, maybe you were, I was just to naive to see it.”

“Y/N-” “Bye.”

You practically speed to the airport, and you know there’s no need to, but you just need to get the fuck out of Massachusetts for a while. That, and you’re anxious to see Ransom. You don’t like the way you two left things and you want to smooth things over.

You also want to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

“I already heard it from Daisy, I don’t need to hear it from you too,” you sighed as Ransom made his way back into the bedroom from the connecting bathroom.

“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna go back to him?”

“Ransom, please!”

“You have a fucking choice!”

“You? Leave him and be with you?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing!”

“I don’t fucking know you well enough-”

“Whose fucking fault is that?! We’ve been in the same house for four days! I keep telling you that I’m an open book to you and you refuse-”

“I’m married, Ransom!”

“You’re marriage is pretty fucking shit, and you keep hiding behind that for what? To make Mommy and Daddy happy?”

“Oh, fuck off!”

“Stop doing what they want you to!”

“Be like you and don’t give a fuck about anyone’s feelings?”

“I give a fuck about yours for whatever reason!”

“No one ever fucking told you to!”

“So this is done?”

“What even is this?!”

“You tell me!”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t even want to be with him, Y/N! You don’t want him like you want me, you don’t crave him like you crave me, and you damn sure don’t care for him like you care for me.”

“Stop it!”

“What? You’re gonna play house with him and keep fucking me on the side? Gonna keep wanting me, but not actually committing to me?!”

“You don’t even want to commit to anyone! Look at that fucking ring on your pinky!”

“Fuck this ring!” he yelled, taking it off and throwing it across the room. “I want to commit to you!”

“Stop it, Ransom. Just fucking stop it! I’m not some fucking toy-” “Then stop fucking playing around!” he shouted.

“You need to go,” you sniffled as you dried your eyes. “I have to call Jack and tell him-”

“That you’ll continue to fucking pretend. Yeah, fucking got it.”

“Ransom-” “Fuck you. Fuck all of this. I’m done,” he spat before storming out.

The first real fight you two ever had, and it was all because you couldn’t find the courage to stand up for yourself. Yes, he was right, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Since you were born, your family has drilled it into your head that it’s up to you to make the family look good. You’re the only child your parents had, so you have to be perfect. Always be polite, stay on top of your grades, get into the best schools, be the best at sports, be the best debater....you have to be perfect. With Jack, you genuinely thought you got lucky because he acted like he actually wanted to be with you. He made you believe that your marriage would be what you’d always wanted.

With Ransom...it’s been complicated since he kissed you. Hes never shied away from the fact that he’s an asshole. Maybe that’s why you should trust him. No, none of this is ideal, but at least hes always been up front with you (as far as you know). Yeah, he fucked Daisy, but he didn’t lie about it and he told you that he knew he was wrong. He beat up your husband because he beat you up, and then was so fucking gentle with you; both physically and emotionally. Ransom has his faults, but it’s not lost on you that his feelings for you are genuine.

Which is probably why he text you a week after your argument.

Part Time Lover: March 12th to the 20th , we’ll be in Chicago. I booked us a suite at the Eurostars Magnificent Mile. I’ll see you there.

Y/N: How much do I owe you?

Part Time Lover: It’s on me.

Y/N: You don’t have to pay for this whole thing.

Part Time Lover: It was my idea for us to go away together, I should be the one to pay for it.

Y/N: I hurt you, it’s the least I can do.

Part Time Lover: I’m tougher than you think.

Y/N: I’m sorry, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I’ll see you in Chicago.

And you haven’t spoken to him since. What are you even supposed to say?

‘Sorry for not being strong enough to leave my husband and jump into bed with you more often’?

You have no reason to commit to Ransom, but you want one so fucking bad. Being with Ransom makes you feel like you can finally breathe, and being without him feels like hell. You don’t exactly know when Ransom started meaning so much to you, but now he seems to be all that you think about.

As you board the plane, you try to empty your mind. You try and empty your mind. You have no expectations, you just want to have fun and be someone else for a while.

You just want to be with Ransom.

**

“Ransom, what did you do?” you ask on the phone as you make your way to elevator.

“I want us to have a good time, so I made sure we would.”

“Ransom-”

“Are you here?”

“I’m in the elevator now.”

“Good, get your ass up here.”

“Ransom-”

“Top floor, the nicest suite, get up here. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you sigh with a small smile as you watch the numbers on the elevator go up and up. “You didn’t have to do all of-”

“Yes I did. I wanted to. You deserve the best and I’m gonna give it to you.”

“I don’t deserve all of this, Ransom,” you mutter as the elevator reaches the top floor.

“You deserve all of this and more.”

“I’m on our floor. I’ll see you-”

“I see you. Get your ass over here now,” he demands, but you can hear the smile in his voice.

You hang up before practically running to the room where you see his head poking out.

“Lets not argue ever again,” he laughs once you reach the suite.

“I like that a lot.”

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, Ransom....I’m sorry that all of this is such a shit show.”

“How was your flight?” he asks, stepping aside to let you in.

“Ransom, we should really talk about...holy shit,” you gasp as you take a look around. “What did you...”

“I don’t want to think about everything that went wrong. I missed you and you missed me so, lets just enjoy this.”

“Babe...you didn’t have to...this is so much.”

“Do you like it?” he asks softly, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“I love it.”

“Good,” he comments before kissing the shell of your ear. “Room service is on call 24/7, the river is right there,” he points to the window in the living area, “so we can watch them dye the river from here or we can go down there, I’ve found a million things for us to do-”

“Ransom, you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Yes I did. You deserve everything and I want you to have it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll make us drinks, you look around,” he urges before letting go of you and making his way into the kitchen.

It’s like an apartment for the two of you. There’s a living area, a work space, the bathroom is gorgeous, the kitchen is unbelievable, and the bedroom is amazing. You park your suitcase by the doorway of the bedroom and make your way out onto the balcony and look over the city.

The fact that Ransom did all of this for you really has your mind blown.

“Do you like it?” Ransom asks as he comes outside, handing your drink and standing behind you.

“Ransom, this is amazing...I can’t believe you did all of this...”

“I did it for us.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s fine if you don’t wanna admit that there’s something between us, but I fucking know better, Y/N. You’re here, without much convincing, you’re happy, and you clearly don’t feel guilty about being here.”

“I just...”

“For now, just don’t think. Be here with me and be happy. I can make you so fucking happy if you’ll let me.” “You already make me happy, daddy,” you tell him seductively as turn around and face him.

“Yeah? I make my pretty girl happy?”

“Do you want me to show you just how happy you made me?” you ask, getting on your knees and undoing his pants.

“You don’t care that anyone can see you?”

“Do you care?”

“You know I’ll fuck you anywhere without hesitation.”

“Then you should let me show everyone just how happy you make me, daddy,” you moan, stroking him just a bit, “let me show you,” you beg before taking him into your mouth.

“Jesus sweetheart!” he grunts as he grips your hair. “Just can’t be a good girl anywhere I take you, huh? Fuck, suck it just like that, baby!” he moans, guiding you just a bit. “Bet you missed daddy’s cock so much, huh? Shit! Missed being so full?”

You moan in response as you pick up your pace, trying to hold off your own release.

“Shit, get up, baby! Let daddy make you feel good!” he grunts, gripping your hair tight as a way of getting you to stop.

“Wanna taste you!” you whimper, getting up only for Ransom to force you against the guard rail and push your dress up.

“We have more than enough time for that, sweetheart. Right now, daddy just wants to feel you,”  he demands as you groan, before he thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“Missed this tight little honeypot,” he broods as he fucks into you relentlessly.

“Oh my GOD! Please!”

“Feel good, baby? Missed daddy’s cock?”

“Oh my...yes, YES! Got off...Fuck Ransom!”

“Ya know, I think all of Chicago should see these tits too, don’t you?”

“Do whatever...oh fuck! I’m so close!” you moan as he rips the front on your dress. “Daddy!”

“You’re so fucking desperate for me, aren’t you?”

“Daddy...I need to...please!”

“Fucking say it!”

“I...I want...I want you all the time, Ransom! Jesus, I’m gonna fucking...please!”

“That desperate to cum, sweetheart?”

“I’ll do anything, just please let me cum!”

“My sweet little whore, make a a mess, baby!” he chuckles, playing with clit as he bites down on your shoulder.

“FUCK!” you scream, squirting hard and making a mess as he rides out your high.

“And to think, we’re just getting started,” he laughs, never missing a beat as he fucks into you like you just didn’t have a mind shattering orgasm.

Ransom keeps you on that balcony for at least an hour, before finally pulling you back into the bedroom; deciding that it would be kind to demolish you in private.

“Daddy, PLEASE!”

“Can’t take anymore, sweetheart?”

“Need to feel you! Mi...missed you so much!”

“Fuck! Give it to me! Give all of it”

“FUCK!” you scream out, squirting hard as you do your best to stay up right.

“Shit, sweetheart!” Ransom growls as he fills you to the brim, moaning as he pulls out and watches both of your releases spill out. “You’re amazing, baby.”

“You didn’t have to...you didn’t have to show me....,” you breathe, trying to form an actual thought as you collapse onto the bed.

No one will ever be able to make you as happy and full as he does.

“Are you happy?” he chuckles as he gets in next to you and pulls the cover over the both of you.

“Mhm” you mumble, resting your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. “We should go eat.”

“Rest for now, we’ll eat after.”

“You must be hungry,” you yawn, trying your best to stay awake.

“When you get up. Sleep.”

“Thank you, Ransom. For all of this.”

“I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he promises softly before pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “Anything.”

Ransom’s P.O.V

“Your mommy pick out your shoes for you, Drysdale?” Tommy asked as he approached me on the playground.

“Leave me alone.”

“Gonna cry again? Gonna have your grandpa talk to my parents?”

“Leave me alone!”

“Cause you’re parents don’t-”

“He said to leave him alone, Tommy!” you shouted, hands on your hips and a scowl on your face.

Is it sad that I can still remember what you wore that day?

Your hair was in pigtails, you had on your blue dress with white polka dots, you had on black church shoes, and a white stockings.

I’d had a crush on you since the first time I saw, but I thought you looked especially cute that day.

“Stay outta this, Y/N!”

“Leave him alone, Tommy! You’re a big mean jerk, and Ransom hasn’t done anything to you!”

“You like him so much, why don’t you marry him?”

“Leave him alone or I’ll tell Miss Hendricks on you!”

“Tattletale! Whatever, both of you are stupid anyway!”

And with that, Tommy Smotts stormed off.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly, coming over to me in the sandbox.

I did the only thing I could think of: run off.

In my defense, you’re the one who came out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. Sure, we stared at each other a bunch, but neither of us actually ever said a fucking word to each other.

Why did I wait so fucking long to act on anything with you? No, I don’t chase anyone, ever, but you...you’ve always been the one I’ve wanted. Since that day you defended me, I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. I guess I always thought I had time, because you never seemed to talk to anyone besides Daisy. I always caught you looking at me, I could always feel you staring at me, so I just assumed I had time. I wanted to have my fun before approaching you, because I wanted to get it right. I don’t know what fucking hold you had over me (and still do), but I’ve only ever wanted to do right by you.

Then he took you.

“You get every woman you want, leave some for the rest of us,” Jack scoffed as we stood in my parent’s backyard, attending their party out of nothing other than obligation.

“Not every woman,” I slurred, looking over in your direction.

Maybe it was my fault. I still hadn’t said a fucking word to you, and Jack had no clue that I felt anything towards you, because I never talked about it, but God. You looked so fucking good that night. You always wore the most modest clothes, but you made them look so damn good. You always make everything look so damn good.

“Y/N?,” Jack scoffed incredulously before he took another sip of his drink. “What the fuck is so special about her? Yeah, she’s cute, but she doesn’t actually say anything, she dresses like a fucking nun-”

“Exactly; she’s different,” I snapped defensively.

You were mine, mentally, and I wasn’t about to let him talk shit about you.

“Oh Drysdale, you’ve got it bad.”

“Got what?”

“You’re in love with her!”

“I don’t even know her,” I muttered, lighting my cigarette.

A bold fucking lie.

“Then why so pushy?”

“I’m not being pushy about anything, I just don’t see the need to talk shit when she’s the only good one out of the bunch.”

“I can get her,” he chuckled as he looked you over.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jack. She’s never gonna fall for you.”

“I can be quite charming when I need to be.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Ransom, I bet you $10,000 that I can get her to say yes to a date with me.”

“You’re on,” I smirked, shaking his hand before taking another drag from my cigarette.

I never thought you’d actually fall for his shit, because you’re so much smarter than that. However, I’ve gotta give it to Jack, he’s a suave piece of shit when he wants to be.

It was only supposed to be one date though.

I could take losing the fucking money, but actually losing you?

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I snapped, pulling Jack into your parents’ kitchen.

“What are you talking about?!”

“It was supposed to be one fucking date! It’s been two fucking months!”

“What can I say? I like the girl,” he shrugged with a smug smirk.

“Jack, I swear to God-”

“You said you don’t love her, so what’s the big deal?”

“Fuck you,” I spat before storming out.

Before I knew it, you were fucking married to him. It only took that little fuck three months to fucking cheat on you, but he played the part of a loving husband well enough, until he couldn’t anymore.

You start to stir and I realize my phone is going off.

“Sleep,” I urge softly, kissing the top of your head before gently getting out of bed.

Throwing on my boxer briefs and a sweater, I grab my phone and my pack of cigarettes before stepping out onto the balcony.

“What?”

“Don’t fucking ‘what’ me!” Jack snaps and I laugh.

“Sound a little unhinged there, buddy.”

“Fuck you, Ransom! Is she with you?!”

“She who?” I chuckle, lighting a smoke.

“Don’t fucking play with me, Ransom!”

“Are you referring to your darling little wife?”

“You know damn well that I am!”

“Now, why would I know of her whereabouts?” I question, looking at you through the sliding glass door.

You have got to be the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“This wasn’t part of our-”

“One, I don’t know where your wife is. Two, I’m not breaking anything that we agreed upon.”

“She’s mine, Ransom.”

“Maybe you don’t have the tight little hold on her that you thought you did.”

“We had an agreement!”

“No, we made a bet. Don’t get mad at me because you’re losing it. Maybe, if you didn’t fucking slap her around, you wouldn’t be so fucking worried!”

“That was one time and I feel awful-”

“Finding out that you turned into your parents does fucking suck, doesn’t it?”

“I’m nothing like my father!”

“Lets see: you cheat on your wife, you live off your wife, and you beat your wife. Sounds an awful lot like you turned out like your father.”

“Watch it, Drysdale,” he growls.

“Are you warning me?” I laugh. “I got away with one murder, so I’m not too fucking worried about you.”

“Back off!”

“Ahh, what’s the fun in that? The deadline is her birthday, isn’t it?”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck off, Jack. You wanna keep your wife? Fucking work for her then,” I bite before hanging up.

Yes, another bet was made in a vain attempt to get your love, but if I can make money and have you, why wouldn’t I? I’m going to tell you. I’m going to tell you everything, I just need to find the right time. After you get to know me a little more, which is tricky in its own way, I’ll explain everything.

I know no one would ever believe me, but I’d never fucking hurt you. I’ve never loved anyone, but I’m so fucking in love with you. I always have been. Hopefully, after this trip, you’re able to see that. I know I’ve fucked up and fucked around my whole life, but I just wanna get things right with you.

I just need you to give me a chance.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“Tell me something true,” you smile at Ransom as your second round of drinks arrive.

You ended up sleeping much longer than you intended to, and by the time you finally did wake up, it was time for dinner. Ransom was sweet, still making jokes at your expense, but told you that he had planned everything out. Which is why you’re now sitting at a five star restaurant, drinking more than you should and feeling happier than you ever have.

“You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had,” Ransom smirks and you burst out laughing.

“I’m serious! Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well, there’s a lot,” he laughs with a shrug, “something you don’t know...I hate spiders and I hate centipedes.”

“Ransom Drysdale hates bugs?!”

“Don’t get so excited, I’ll stomp those fuckers out in a second,” he mutters and laugh again. “I know what you really wanna ask me though, so you may as well ask it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

“Did you have something to do with Harlan’s death?”

“Technically? No. Fran? Yes. With Harlan, that just worked out in my favor. I could already tell that he was getting fed up with everyone, so I pretended to take an interest in Marta. He seemed to want her company and attention more than anyone else’s, so it didn’t take long for me to connect the dots. I wine and dined her, took her on a few trips, fucked her...I made her think I was in love. So, when Harlan and I had our little sit down and he told me he was leaving all of his money to her, I convinced her to split it with me. I told her everything he told me and was able to convince her that I had plans for a future together. Now, the medicine thing, that was just a stroke of pure luck. I don’t know who the hell switched the vials around, but Harlan ended up killing himself anyway. Marta got her money, as did I, and we both stayed out of jail. Fran? Well, she’d always been a nosey little cunt and she was pissing me off. Telling Marta to watch out for me and stay away...she had no reason to worry about what the fuck I was doing. So, I poisoned her,” he shrugs. “It’s not like it was all that hard. It’s amazing how easy it is to slip someone something when they think they’re safe in a room full of fucking vultures.”

“Ransom, that’s fucking awful.”

“You didn’t come on this trip thinking I was some boy scout,” he scoffs, taking a sip of his drink. “You’ve always heard about what a piece of shit I am.”

“I don’t believe everything I hear.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not fair. Everyone has their own story, everyone goes through shit, and everyone has their reason for doing what they do.”

“Have you always been this innocent?”

“You mean this fucking stupid? Yes,” you chuckle before sipping on your drink.

“You’re not stupid.”

“Yeah, you can say that. I’m here with you-”

“I mean it, Y/N. All of us are jaded because we have shitty parents. All of us except you. You’re kinder than any of us really deserve, you’re thoughtful, you’re sympathetic, you’re caring...the list goes on. Being a good person doesn’t make you stupid, it just makes you too good for the people you surround yourself with.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“I’m jaded, remember?” he smirks and you chuckle. “So, why did you decide to keep things going with me?”

“Besides the sex?” you question with a cocked eyebrow and he laughs. “I don’t know, you just make me happy. Genuinely happy. You’re sweet, kind, gentle, caring...all the things you don’t want people to know about you, you are with me in private.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything in school?”

“I saw the girls you dated,” you chuckle, “I didn’t stand a chance.”

“You were the only one I wanted.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t stand a chance,” he smiles at you. “What are you doing for your birthday?”

“Whatever Daisy has planned,” you laugh.

“What about Jack?”

“Jack hasn’t planned anything for my birthday since the day I said, ‘I do’. Daisy takes over every year, because she knows he isn’t going to do a single fucking thing.”

“Why do you stay with him?”

“It’s what...it makes my mom’s life easier, so I do it.”

“But you’re unhappy?”

“So what? What does that mean to me? She raised me. My dad was MIA and she put up with a ton-”

“She’s your parent. It’s her fucking job to be your parent-”

“She didn’t have to stay, Ransom,” you sigh. “She stayed for me. It’s not like she wouldn’t have gotten any money if she would have left him, and she would’ve gotten a good chunk of it too. She stayed for me. All of the hell that she endured, all of the gossip, the abuse...she didn’t want to leave me alone and she was a firm believer that a child needs two parents, because that’s what her parents instilled in her. My father was never terrible to me, he was just awful to her. She didn’t see the point in leaving if he was good to me. Which is why I’m so damn nice now, but also why I vowed to never end up in a marriage like hers. What a fucking joke that turned out to be,” you mumble, downing the rest of your drink.

“She’d want you to be happy then.”

“You heard her that day, Ransom. By not having a failed marriage, I am making her happy.”

“Your marriage has failed.”

“Ransom-”

“You deserve to be happy, Y/N. You do so much for everyone else all the time, you deserve to live a good life.”

“How do I know that you’re not trying to fuck me over like you did Marta?”

“I don’t need your money.”

“You didn’t need hers.”

“What was hers was originally mine.”

“How am I supposed to believe you? It’s not like you’ve ever shown any desire to do something with your life.”

“That was then, this is now.”

“What’s so different now?”

“I have you.”

“Ransom-”

“Listen, if you tell me to, I’ll buy you a ticket right now and you can go home.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t want that.”

“Why stay?”

“You don’t bullshit me. You’re not hiding the worst parts of yourself to make me believe some version of you that doesn’t actually exist. You could be just like Jack, but you choose not to be. That and you just make me really fucking happy,” you smile at him.

“Lets get out out of here.”

“We haven’t eaten!” you laugh.

“Who cares? W e can eat wherever, lets just get the fuck out of here.”

“Are you drunk?”

“That I am,” he laughs and you laugh along with him, “but I just want to be out with you. Until you get a divorce, we can’t be out like this, and I like being this open with you. I like having you to myself. Lets just explore the fucking city.”

“You really are something else,” you smile at him.

“Let me show you just how much,” he smirks.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s because he’s so damn charismatic, but you find yourself following his lead.

It’s cold, but Ransom holds you close as you two walk around and take in the sights. You both take turns asking each other questions, engaging in conversations about politics and basic human rights (Ransom’s opinion falling on that he doesn’t care as long as it works out for him), eating at random stands (hot dog, pretzel, and a burger one), and somehow ending up at a Jazz club. The entire time, Ransom keeps surprising you with just how thoughtful and sweet he is, and it has you re-thinking everything. Maybe he is worth all the risk. He wants to be committed to you and he’s excited about it.

Just maybe you got it right this time.

“It’s late and we need sleep,” you giggle as Ransom carries you on his back.

“Do we really?”

“Ransom.”

“Alright, we’ll head back, but I have a full week planned for us.”

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale, what the hell did you do?”

“Just you wait and see.”

**

The week you spend with Ransom is the best week you’ve ever had. After talking him into actually going down to the river to watch them dye it, he took you out for lunch, and he was shamelessly sweet to you. He kissed you whenever he got a chance, held your hand, paid for everything (even though you told him multiple times that you can pay for yourself), he pulled you into the bathroom and fucked you senseless at every bar you two went to, and he made sure to make it known that you’re his and his alone.

The whole week felt like a dream. Every day was a new adventure and Ransom made sure to never disappoint.

“Lets extend our trip another week,” he suggests as he gets in bed next to you.

“Ha ha,” you mumble as you continue typing away on your laptop.

“Why can’t we?”

“We have lives to get back to...well, I have a life to get back to.”

“I know they’re things we have to do, but the world hasn’t set itself on fire yet. We can stay.”

“What could you possibly have to do?”

“Don’t be rude.”

“You don’t have a fucking job,” you laugh.

“I run the publishing company.”

“Uh huh, with Walt’s help.” “I pay Walt, don’t I?”

“Sure daddy,” you giggle as he closes your laptop.

“Tell me you don’t wanna stay longer,” he coos before kissing your shoulder.

“Of course I want to, but we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Ransom,” you moan, feeling his hand making its way between your legs.

“Why can’t we stay?”

“We have...oh fuck,” you sigh as you lull your head back.

“I wanna stay with you for another week, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“Never been this happy,” he groans as he starts massaging your clit faster.

“Please...fuck!”

“Never felt so good.”

“Ransom...you know we have to go back.”

“Then stop working and let me show you how happy you’ve made me this week.”

“Baby-”

“Please, sweetheart.”

“Fuck!” you squeal, cumming hard as he massages your neck with his tongue. “Baby, please!”

“You want me, sweetheart?” he questions, starting to fuck you with his fingers

“I always want you, Ransom!”

“Why? Why do you keep me around? Hmm?”

“Don’t-”

“Say it, after all we’ve talked about this week...tell me,” he pleads.

“I...I love you, Ransom.”

“Say it again.”

“Fuck, I love you, Ransom! I love you so much”

“I love you too, sweetheart! I always have!”

“Shit!” you cry out as squirt hard on his fingers.

“You always make such a pretty mess for me, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“I wanna show you just how much I love you,” he moans as pulls out his fingers out, licking them before shoving them into your mouth. “Will you let me?”

You just is nod as you suck and lick his fingers clean.

Almost instantly, Ransom has you topless and on your back; kissing his way down your body as you beg him not to stop.  

“I’ve waited so long to hear you say it, baby,” he hums before licking your clit. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“I need you so much, baby,” you whimper as he starts fucking you with his tongue. “Only wanna be with you!”

You grip his hair tight as he picks up his pace and starts teasing your clit with his thumb, and you start grinding your pussy against his face.

“Ransom...oh fuck! Honey, I’m so fucking close!” you cry out, your toes curling as you try to hold on.

All he does is pick up his pace, which sends you into a earth shattering orgasm, screaming his name as you come apart.

“So desperate, baby. Desperate to be loved?” he smirks after cleaning up the mess you made.

“Just...just wanna be yours, Ransom.”

“I want you to be mine and mine alone,” he mumbles he licks and kisses his way back up your body.

“Please don’t...I’m not strong enough to get hurt again.”

“I don’t ever wanna hurt you, baby. Just wanna take care of you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he husks, stopping to lick and suck on one of your nipples, while his one hand pinches and massages the other.

“Ah fuck!”

“When we get home,” he broods as he resumes kissing up your body, “you’re moving in with me and leaving that piece of shit.”

“Ransom-”

“You know you want to. You know you belong with me,” he encourages as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh my GOD!”

“Feel so fucking good, baby!”

“Ransom we can’t...we have to...fuck! That’s the spot!” you whimper, hooking your right leg around his waist as you start to move with him. “Fuck, I need you so much!”

“Say you’ll come and live with me, baby! Don’t know how long...fuck! This fucking pussy!”

“I’m so close!”

“Say it, sweetheart! Say you’ll stay with me!”

“Ransom, I...I...ah shit! I can’t hold on!”

“Cunt always fucking squeezes me so tight!”

“Fuck!” you scream, digging your nails into his back as you squirt hard, your back arching just a bit as you fade into your euphoric state.

“Jesus fuck, Y/N!” Ransom growls into your neck right before biting down on it and gripping the sheets tight as his release fills you.

You both lay there for a moment, trying to catch your breaths as Ransom rides out both your highs, and you try to form a complete thought.

“I love you, Y/N,” Ransom breathes out. “I love you and you love me, just be with me.”

“You know it’s not that simple.”

“Why isn’t it? You don’t owe anyone shit.”

“Ransom-”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“You know I do!”

“Then just say yes, baby.”

“Ransom...I have to think about it.”

“What is there to think about?”

“Everything,” you laugh humorlessly. “We just started this and I’m still...I’m still working on trusting you.”

“Even after-”

“You said so yourself, we can’t be like this when we get back home. We’re away from everyone and everything on this trip, and while it’s absolutely perfect, it’s not reality. I can’t be dumb about this. Not again.”

“I’m not Jack.”

“You played with Marta’s heart for money and killed Fran. You’re not a fucking saint. Ransom.”

“That’s fair,” he laughs, “but I love you. I have loved you for so long and if you just give me a chance...I can show you. I can be the man you want. The man you can trust.”

“If we can keep on track like we are, which I know won’t be easy,-” you state before he has a chance to interrupt, “then I’ll happily move in and divorce Jack.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You can always go and find someone less annoying.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he smirks and you burst out laughing. “If you say you need time, I’ll give you time. I am serious though, Y/N. I’ve never loved anyone besides you, and it’s never going to stop. I want to be with you forever.”

“I believe you, baby. I love you too. So fucking much,” you smile at him; wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close for a passionate kiss, giggling when you feel him stir back to life.

“I think you’re done working for the day,” he breathes once you two break apart, starting to move within you again; that infamous smug smirk tugging at his lips.

“Ransom,” you moan with a small laugh.

“It’s our last full day here, lets end it with a bang,” he pouts as you start cracking up.

You and Ransom spend the rest of the day making love and ordering room service. The only time he lets you out of his arms when you have to go to the bathroom, and the second you get back, he’s back to holding you and putting on whatever movie you feel like watching.

As the day winds down, and you both begrudgingly get ready to leave tomorrow, your heart is full and hopeful. Yes, the week you’ve spent with him has been perfect and a complete dream, but you still have your reservations. It’s not like you don’t believe him, but once people get back around their comfort spaces, they tend to fall back into their old habits.

Good and bad.

“You’re thinking pretty fucking hard, sweetheart,” Ransom mumbles, causing you to jump.

“I thought you were sleeping,” you laugh softly.

“No one can sleep with how much noise is going on in your head.”

“How can you tell?”

“Your heart rate is slightly faster than usual, you breathe a lot easier when you’re asleep, and your index finger is making little circles on my hip; something you only do when you can’t sleep. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“Talk to me.”

“I just...I want this to work. I want to be with you and I want to trust you, but-”

“I’m not a fool, sweetheart. I know that I have a lifetime to make up for, and a lot to prove. You need time and I get that. For now, just be here with me. Live in the moment and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. I love you and you love me. We’ll figure this out, okay? Just rest of now.”

‘For now, just be here with me.’

If only it were that simple.

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Just try and rest, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” you tell him reassuringly

As you do your best to silence your thoughts, one thing keeps coming to mind:

How the hell do you determine if Ransom truly means everything he says, or if he has some ulterior motive?

How can you tell in Ransom’s love is true?

**

“Babe, where is your head at?” Daisy asks as you two get ready for whatever the hell she has planned for your birthday.

“Did you invite Ransom to whatever the hell it is you planned tonight?” you ask, smoothing your hands over your dress.

“Yes?”

“Fucking hell.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on? You’ve been in a weird head space since you two got back from your trip in March.”

“I just...he was so patient, but now it feels like he’s rushing me.”

“Rushing you to what?”

“Make a choice.”

“It’s only been a month and a half!?”

“That’s what I said.”

“To which he said...?”

“We’ve been arguing for the last two weeks,” you mutter, sitting down on her bed with a heavy sigh as you remember the last big argument you two had.

“What the fuck else do you want me to do?!” Ransom yelled, getting out of bed and pulling on his boxer briefs.

“Ransom, you told me you’d give me time!”

“Haven’t I?! How much more time-”

“It’s only been a month!”

“It took you a lot less time-”

“I’d advise you to think hard before you finish that fucking statement,” you warned.

“I don’t see why you can’t just trust me!”

“Because you’re right, Ransom!” you yelled at him as you sat up. “I mindlessly gave myself to Jack, and now look!”

“You know it’s not the same with me!”

“Ransom-”

“I haven’t fucked anyone besides you, I haven’t given my attention to anyone besides-”

“That’s not enough! A month isn’t long enough-”

“We would be able to explore this further if you’d fucking leave him!”

“I’m going home!” you yelled, getting out of his bed and looking for whatever piece of clothing he hadn’t torn off you when you got there. “Goddammit! I need a fucking-”

“If you’d just move in, you wouldn’t need to fucking-”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t love him, Y/N! At least, not anymore! You spend all of your free time here, you don’t even fuck him anymore, you can’t sleep when you’re away from me-”

“Ransom-”

“Just fucking be with me!”

“Why are you pushing this so much?!”

“Because I fucking love you!”

“Then you would be patient!”

“If you loved me, you would just trust me!”

“I’m not having this fucking argument with you again! Just give me some fucking clothes and let me-”

“If you leave this time, don’t fucking come back, Y/N. I’m not gonna keep doing this shit with you, cause you’re a fucking coward!”

“Then I guess this is done,” you shrugged.

“Y/N, I fucking mean it!”

“Me too. If you’re gonna fucking bully me, I guess this is the end of this!”

Ransom went two weeks without talking to you before texting you:

‘You know I didn’t mean it. Just fucking come home.’

Aka

“I’m sorry.”

You, in all your stubborn glory, refused to see him, which only resulted in another argument.

You’re too stubborn, he’s a jackass, you’re afraid of everything, he’s too much of a hot headed shit head to see when he’s wrong, you’re a bitch, he’s an complete asshole...

So on and so on.

You weren’t sure if he’d want anything to do with your birthday, because he’d been so...

“Is he coming?” you ask Daisy.

“He said he was.”

“For fucks sake!”

“What did I do wrong?!”

“It’s not you, it’s he and I. We’re having the world’s dumbest fucking fight and I don’t know...I miss him so much, but he’s such a fucking asshole sometimes. And I get it, okay? I do. I put him in a shitty spot, I’m still married and he’s trying to figure if I’m going to pick him or not, but I’m just fucking scared. Yes, Ransom has been up front with me about everything, but I trusted Jack so fast and now look.”

“Do you want my input?”

“No, but I know it would help.”

“Bitch,” she smirks, taking a seat next to you and you chuckle. “I believe that Ransom loves you. I’ve seen him out and he doesn’t even look at other women, the rumor mill says that he’s actually taken a hands on roll with the company, he’s made some pretty smart investments, and I can tell that he wouldn’t be so upset about this if he didn’t have real feelings for you. I know it’s scary, but just take the leap. It’s painfully obvious that you love him, and hes been in love with you...”

“I just don’t want to get-”

“Babe, if he fucks you over, I’ll chop his fucking balls off. Scouts honor.”

“You were never a scout?”

“But I really wanted to be,” she sighs and you burst out laughing. “Just be with him, the man is so in love with you...I think you’ll be happy. I actually believe that he’ll be good to you, which is insane because he’s a piece of shit, but he seems to want to change for you. Just tell him. Tell him you love him and you want to be with him.”

“You really think he’s worth it?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she laughs softly as you lay your head on her shoulder.

“What if it all goes to shit?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together, just like we always have.”

“I feel like birthdays are supposed to be happier than this.”

“Especially when it’s your 30th ,” she giggles.

“If this is a shit show-”

“Oh, we’re totally going to Five Guys.”

“You know me so well,” you smile as she cracks up.

As you both finish up getting ready, you try to ignore the feeling in your stomach that tells you something is going to go wrong. All that matters is that you love Ransom and he loves you, because that’s more than enough....

Right?

**

Daisy surprised you with a party at your absolute favorite restaurant. The place is so damn expensive, so you only go on special occasions, and Daisy told you that another year of you existing is the most important thing that anyone could ever celebrate.

You started crying before you got your first drink.

Soon enough, the drinks were flowing, people were eating and dancing, and everyone was instantly becoming more comfortable with each other.

“Isn’t your boss married?” Daisy asks with a slight slur as she approaches you with two drinks in hand.

“I mean, I am too,” you scowl, hating how jealous you are at the sight of her shamelessly flirting with Ransom.

“Not really.”

“Do not start.”

“Oh come on!”

“You’re the one that invited him and his parents! I didn’t know anything about this!”

“I invited them out of obligation, and I’m fucking regretting it, because Jack’s mom is being a fucking bitch to the staff,” she mutters with an eye roll. “Ah fuck, Ransom’s coming over.”

“Daisy, please don’t let him-”

“You have to face him at some point, babe.”

“On my birthday?!” “You’re the one that’s been avoiding him. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, babe,” she laughs, kissing your cheek then walking off.

“I guess I know what you two were talking about,” he sighs as he comes up behind you.

“I don’t wanna argue with you tonight, Ransom. I really don’t.” “Can you please look at me?”

“No, because then everyone will know.”

“Is that so wrong?”

“Can we not have this talk here, where literally anyone can hear. Besides, Jack looks pissed enough as it is. He’s been on edge all day.”

“I’ll bet he has,” Ransom chuckles.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Take a walk with me.”

“Ransom-”

“You’re the one who wants to talk in private.”

“I can’t just-”

“I won’t take you out of here unless you ask me,” he promises and you roll your eyes.

“Fine,” you sigh, finally turning around but not looking at him, “lead the way.”

You feel Jack’s eyes on you, as well as your parents, and you can feel a storm brewing. The last thing you need is for anyone finding you and Ransom doing something you shouldn’t, so in this moment, you tell yourself that nothing can happen.

Once you two reach the coat check, he stands aside to the side to let you, following right behind you and closing the door.

‘Nothing can happen,’ you tell yourself mentally.

“Ransom, I know I shouldn’t have just-”

He interrupts you with a passionate and soul stealing kissing and you don’t even put up a fight.

‘God, that didn’t last long, did it?’

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes once you two break apart, lifting the bottom of your dress up.

“I’ve missed you too, but Ransom...oh fuck!” you whimper, the feel of his fingers on your clit make you feral.

“Come home, sweetheart,” he begs, slowly and easily sliding two fingers into your already soaked cunt.

“Ransom....oh fuck!” you moan, lulling your head back.

“We can make this work, I’ll take care of you, and I won’t let any of those fucks hurt you. I love you,” he broods before starting to bite and suck on your sweet spot right below your ear

“Jesus Ransom!”

“Missed having you in my bed, in my arms...underneath me....on the balcony,” he breathes, and you feel his smirk on your neck.

“Feels too fucking...fuck!” you cry out softly, cumming hard and feeling the pleasure that only he can make you feel.

God, you missed him.

“You let him fuck you, baby?” Ransom questions, fucking you through your high with his fingers before ripping your panties off.

“N-no baby, I only want you,” you whine, needing him to fill you in the worst way possible.

“Cause you’re mine?” he asks, undoing his pants before hoisting you up, and you instinctively wrap your legs around him. “You’re all mine?” he grunts as thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh fuck!”

“Tell me, sweetheart! Tell me you’re all mine!”

“I’m all...all yours! I only want to be with you!” you moan. “Fuck, missed you so much, baby!”

“Never wanna sleep without you again! I love you so fucking much!” thrusting hard fast, gripping you like he’s afraid you’re going to vanish into thin air.

“Oh fuck! Ransom!”

“Let them hear you, sweetheart! Let them know you’re mine!”

“Ransom-”

“C’mon baby, you know you want me! You choose me!” he encourages as he finds that spot within you that always brings you to the state of pure bliss that no one else has ever been able to.

You push yourself out of the euphoric high you’re close to and force yourself to think about the conversation you had with Daisy. You do love Ransom. You love him so much it makes you insane (or maybe it’s just him that makes you insane), and you don’t want to spend another day without him. Yes, they’re are issues and it’s definitely not picture perfect, but you’re willing to work out the issues.

You want to work them out.

“Fuck, I’m yours, Ransom! Yours only!” you yell as you squirt hard, wrapping your arms around him tight as you try and hold on.

“Fuck!” he growls into your chest as fills you to brim, like always, making you so full and happy.

So fucking loved.

“I mean it, sweetheart,” he husks after riding out both your highs, “I want you home. I want you by my side. They’re things we need to talk about, I know that, but I’m tired of this. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ransom, with all of my heart.”

“We’ll leave now and-”

“I can’t just leave Jack without saying anything. I at least-”

“You don’t owe him shit. Lets just fucking go.”

“It’s my birthday party.”

“Daddy has gifts for you at home,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.

All hell is about to break loose, but he still makes you laugh like an idiot. God, you are so in love with this man.

“You know they heard us, we have to-”

“We don’t have to do a single fucking thing we don’t feel like doing.”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck all of these-”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, RANSOM!” Jack demands as he bangs on the coat check door.

So much for having a happy birthday.

“Fuck!” you sigh as Ransom pulls out and slowly sets you down.

“Hey, you have nothing to be scared of. He’s not gonna lay a fucking finger on you, I swear.”

“I don’t want you getting into a-”

“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, RANSOM! I SWEAR TO GOD!” Jack demands as Ransom pulls up his boxer briefs and pants.

“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry,” Ransom promises with a reassuring smile.

He makes it so damn hard to not trust him.

“Fuck off, Jack,” Ransom warns as soon as he opens the door.

“Fuck you, Drysdale!” he spits, doing his best push him aside, but failing miserably. “The fuck did he say to you, huh? What the fuck did he promise you?!”

“Jack, you know this marriage has been dead for a while-”

“No! You and I...I know I haven’t been the best-”

“Jack, please don’t do this. It’s just over-”

“Y/N-” Jack interrupts as he tries to make his way to you.

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” Ransom growls.

“What are you gonna do? Not a single fucking thing, because I bet you didn’t tell her the fucking truth.”

“Shut the fuck up! That wasn’t apart of our agreement!”

“It wasn’t an agreement, remember? It was a bet,” Jack smiles sadistically.

Okay, what the fuck is going on?

“What’s he talking about, Ransom?” you ask, backing away from him as your heart to starts to fall apart.

“Listen, lets just go home and we’ll talk all about-”

“Tell her the fucking truth, Ransom! It’s not like you won her heart fair and square-”

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” he roars at Jack.

So much for not having your business out in the open.

“Ransom....no...I was a fucking bet to you? This is all a fucked up game to you?”

“I swear it’s not, if you’ll just hear me out-”

“It’s been a bet from day one,” Jack chuckles humorlessly, “since our first fucking date. What was it? $10,000 I won off of you?”

“Shut the fuck up right now,” Ransom warns before turning his attention back towards you. “I swear to God, I was gonna tell you tonight when we got home-”

“We don’t have a fucking home,” you sob, finally putting the pieces together. “So, that’s why you were pushing me to pick you? What? Was there a deadline for me to pick one of you?”

When they both stood there completely silent, you let out an incredulous  laugh.

Of fucking course.

“MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS?!” you shout. “Of course, because the both of you are sick fucks, it makes all the sense in the fucking world!”

“Sweetheart, please, lets just go back-”

“How much was I worth? How much was my love and affection worth?!”

“Y/N, please-”

“HOW FUCKING MUCH, RANSOM?!”

“$40,000,” he replies softly, looking away from you.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re fucking ashamed now! You knew what the fuck you were doing, but it’s all the same to you, isn’t it? I’m just another Marta?”

“This is not the same thing!”

“People really don’t matter to either one of you, do they? We’re all just a giant Monopoly game to you? Who cares who gets hurt as long as you all get your fucking money, right? Your happiness is all that matters?”

“Please, lets just go...I’ll explain everything-”

“There’s nothing to fucking explain, Ransom! Not a single fucking thing! You won, fair and square, so I guess you get your money! Right, Jack? I was gonna leave you for him, so he gets paid?”

“Honey-”

“Don’t you dare fucking ‘honey’ me,” you warn with a low growl. “I have put up with hell during this fucking marriage, because you fucking knew I wouldn’t leave to spare my family, but you had to go and fucking bet on it?! I mattered that little to you?! Yeah no, I’m done with the both of you. I can’t fucking do any of this anymore. Pay him his money, sign the fucking papers, and the both of you can fuck off and go straight to hell,” you scowl before pushing past the both of them and storming out.

“Y/N, please just-”

“Jack, I swear to fucking Christ, you put your hands on me and I’ll fucking stab you!”

“Please, just...I know it’s all fucked, but I do love you!”

“That’s why you’re cheating all the fucking time?! That’s why you tried to sleep with my best friend?!”

“I can do better-”

“You’re pathetic and I’m tired. I want a fucking divorce and that’s final.”

“Sweetheart, please just-”

“I fucking hate you, Ransom!” you yell, stopping and turning your full attention towards him.

“You don’t mean that!” he retorts as his eyes start to well up with tears. “You love me just as much as I love you!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! NOT ANYMORE!” you scream as angry tears start streaming down your face. “I DON’T BELIEVE A SINGLE FUCKING THING YOU HAVE TO SAY! YOU’RE JUST AS BAD AS THE REST OF THEM!”

“Baby-”

“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me! I’m not your fucking anything! I was just a toy to get you more money and now you have it! Leave me alone and stay the fuck away fuck from me!”

“You know how much I-”

Ransom’s cut off by a fist to the face by Daisy.

“She said she’s fucking done! Leave her alone!” Daisy snaps at both Ransom and Jack.

“Daisy, you know good and damn well-”

“Jack, I’ve been begging for a fucking reason to fucking kill you! Say one more fucking thing and tonight will be that fucking night!” she warns before taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant with her. “What do you want? What do you need?” she asks as you two make your way to her car.

“Can I just stay with you?” you sob.

“Anything you want, babe,” she promises, starting her car with her key fob before opening the door for you.

The entire drive to her house, you just cry and scream; trying to figure out how you got mixed up in all of their bullshit. Your phone won’t stop going off, and you know it’s Ransom. Yeah, you’re sure that Jack is trying to talk to you too, but it’s mainly Ransom. The tears in his eyes, the way he looked at you, the way he loved you...

It’s Ransom.

“It’s going to be okay,” Daisy promises as she pulls up to her, resting her hand on you thigh.

“I really don’t think so this time. I love him so much and I believed...I believed in every fucking thing he said.”

“Which one?”

“Ransom. Its always been Ransom.”

**

“You don’t think you could ever see yourself settling down and being a house wife?” Ransom asked as he held you close and you rested your head on his chest.

You’d taken a day off from sight seeing in Chicago and just spent the day in bed with Ransom. Fucking, talking, laughing, watching movies, and getting to know each other.

It was the best fucking day you’d ever had.

“Why should I want to?”

“I could take care of you.”

“What? Are you bothered by how much money I make?”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he scoffed with a shrug, “I just know you’ve been working hard for forever, and I think you’d like to just sit back and relax.”

You were thoughtful before you responded with, “I guess...if I’m comfortable enough...if I trust the guy enough, then yeah. I could be a housewife.”

“Could you see yourself trusting me enough?” he asked timidly.

You looked up and smiled at him, “maybe.”

“What are we doing today?” Daisy asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You’d been staying with her for the last month and it had been a whirlwind to say the least.

“I figured I’d sign on the house, then get a bunch of furniture.”

“Did Jack finally sign the fucking papers?”

“Yeah, and I can only believe he did because you slashed his tires and destroyed his car.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t slash his fucking throat when he popped up here.”

“A bold move considering how much you hate him. How much you’ve always hated him.”

Jack waited three days before showing up to Daisy’s house; deciding he had a right to start making demands.

“You have to talk to me, Y/N! I’m your fucking husband!” he shouted, standing on the top step of Daisy’s house.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she yelled, letting go of you and making her way to the window, “FUCK OFF!”

“She’s my fucking wife, Daisy! Stay out of this!”

“Jack, I swear to God I’ll beat the shit out of you myself!”

“It’s not like she’s fucking innocent! Letting Ransom use her as his own personal fuck doll!”

“I’m gonna murder him,” Daisy muttered before backing away from the window and storming out of the room.

“Daisy! Daisy, stop it!” you shouted, getting up and running after her.

“This is my house and I’m telling you to get the fuck out of here!” she roared as soon as she opened the front door.

“You’re keeping my wife in there-”

“Jack, I swear to God! I punched Ransom in the fucking face and I’ll punch you too!”

“I’m not fucking afraid of a little who-”

The sound of Daisy’s fist connecting with Jack’s nose made you jump.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!”

“You want a fucking black eye to go with it?! Get off of my property! I’m not as fucking nice as Y/N! I will call the cops and press charges! Now, get the fuck off of my property!”

“This isn’t fucking over,” he growled before storming off.

“Daisy, he can press charges!” you yelled as soon as she slammed the door shut.

“I wish he fucking would, he was on my goddamn property, uninvited, making demands, and screaming. I’ll tell the cops I was fearing for my life,” she shrugged. “Are you okay?”

“Daisy-”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be, thank you,” you sighed as your eyes started to water. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hun,” she smiled weakly as wrapped you in a tight hug. “Lets order Chinese and watch Hereditary.”

“You always know the right things to say,” you laughed and she laughed along with you.

Two days later, he dropped off a hospital bill and she just laughed, saying,

“He’s a fucking lunatic if he thinks I’m paying for his fucking nose. He can take me to fucking court. My dad is a better lawyer than his is anyway.”

A week later, he called you screaming about the divorce papers and, once again, you just begged him to sign them. As usual, he told you no and that you two could work through all of it.

“Oh, he’s gonna sign those fucking papers,” Daisy muttered, getting up and putting her shoes on.

“How the hell are gonna get him to agree to that?” you scoffed as you threw your phone down.

“I’m gonna wreck his precious little Porsche.”

“Yeah okay,” you laughed before laying back and flipping through channels. However, your demeanor changed when you saw her grab her switchblade. “DAISY!”

“Be back in a little, darling!” she called over her shoulder as she practically skipped down the steps.

30 minutes later, she was back with a look of pure satisfaction on her face.

“Daisy-”

“He should be signing those papers any day now.” “What did you do?!”

“Oh, ya know, slashed his tires, broke all his windows, smashed the windshield-”

“DAISY!”

“I can be just as crazy as him.”

“They’re gonna have you committed,” you laughed.

“If they haven’t caught me by now, they’ll never catch me.”

Three days later, your lawyer called you to tell that Jack returned the papers, signed and without fuss. You were excited to tell Daisy, but your parents decided that would be a good day to show up and try to talk to you.

Cause the universe can never let you have a good fucking day,

“You have to admit that you’re somewhat responsible for this. I warned you,” your Mother snapped.

“If you came here to talk me back into getting back with him, you’re too late. My lawyer already called me to tell me he signed the papers,” you shrugged as you lit a cigarette.

“Enough hasn’t happened?! Now you have to-”

“Leave her alone,” your Father sighed, reaching for your cigarettes and grabbing one of his own.

“For fucks sake! You’re a doctor! You know how bad-”

“God, just stop complaining for five fucking minutes, please!” your Father shouted, slamming his hand against the table it, and it caused both you and your Mother to jump.

“Listen Y/N,” your Father started, “obviously, we’re not proud and we’re not happy.”

“Dad-”

“Just hear me out. Fucking in a restaurant full of your family and friends? We raised you’d much better than that.”

Oh, if only he knew where else you and Ransom had been having fun.

“However, we understand. You and Jack...it should’ve been over a while ago and we...we shouldn’t have pushed for you to stay. Finding out that all of this was just a bet...lets just say that his Father exchanged a few words after you left,” he sighed before he took a drag from his cigarette. “Now, as for you and Ransom-”

“Do not bring him up,” you instantly snapped, taking a drag from your own cigarette.

“Y/N-”

“Drop it.”

“You can’t just-”

“Y/F/N, just leave it alone,” she urged softly.

You knew she would understand.

“Fine, anyway, as an apology, your Mother and I wanna pay for your new house.”

“Um thanks, but no thanks,” you scoffed before you took a final drag from your cigarette and ashed it.

“Sweet Pea, we’re trying to make up for this-”

“If you want to make up for things, maybe try just being better parents. It’s not that hard.”

“You have to understand-”

“No, you have to understand. I don’t ask either of you for anything, I take care of myself, and up until recently, I’ve stayed out of trouble. The moment I told you both about how bad things were getting, you made me feel like shit for wanting better. Then, when I rightfully filed for a divorce the first time, I got bullied into going back. He beat me the fuck up, and you both made excuses, blamed me, and pushed me back to him. I should’ve been your top priority and I wasn’t. I don’t want fancy gifts or money, I just want you two to be better parents,” you finished with a small sob as you dried your eyes. “Now, you two should leave. Daisy is gonna be home soon and you two are the last two people she wants to see.”

“We’ll call you in a few days,” is all your Mother said as they both got up.

When Daisy got home and crying, she didn’t even ask what was wrong, she just sat next to you and held you. It had become routine.

“Ya know, I’m happy that you let Jack keep everything, but you should’ve gone for the Maserati,” Daisy sighs, getting up as her doorbell rings.

“I didn’t want it.”

“Yeah, but I did,” she calls over shoulder. “You could’ve gotten it and gifted it to me. Then-oh, what the fuck do you want?!” she suddenly yells.

“Jesus fucking Christ, calm down, Daisy. I’m here to see, Y/N,” Ransom retorts, clearly in no mood to deal with a middle man.

“She doesn’t wanna see you-”

“I’m not leaving, Daisy. Even if you do punch me again.”

“I should fucking stab you.”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t past you.”

You take a deep breath before getting up and making your way to the front door.

“I’ll handle it, Dais-”

“Hun-”

“He really isn’t going to leave, so I may as well-”

“I can always call the cops.”

“Lets save that for if Jack comes back,” you chuckle softly.

Daisy looks from Ransom to you before saying, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Then there were two.

“What is she? Your personal bodyguard now?” Ransom scoffs.

“What do you want, Hugh?”

“Don’t.”

“Isn’t that what you make the help call you? Isn’t that all I am? A trinket you can use to get money?” “Stop it, you know that’s not true! I love you!”

“There was a time when I actually believed that,” you scoffed.

“Listen, please just hear me out. You won’t answer my texts or calls-”

“Why should I?!”

“Because you don’t know everything!”

“Hugh-”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?! You got your money, didn’t you?!”

“I didn’t take the fucking money!”

“Why the hell not? You went through all this-”

“I LOVE YOU!” he shouts and you let out a frustrated groan. “I don’t care about any of it. I know I’m an asshole and that it’s to believe that I didn’t care about you at all, but that’s not...God, if only understood just how much I actually love you.”

“Are there no other women for you to manipulate? You haven’t-”

“I’ll show you my bank account-”

“What the fuck will that prove? You had a ton of money before, so $40,000 isn’t really going to do much, is it?”

“Sweetheart, what can I do?”

“Ransom, I trusted you! I trusted you; I gave you my heart. I let you do things to me that I’d never let anyone else do to me. I was about to face hell for you, and then I find out, ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY NO LESS, that this was all a bet to you! How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?! The worst part is, I still love you and I miss you like crazy, but I don’t trust you. I can’t. Honestly, I don’t know if I ever will again.”

“Please, let me just explain myself. Hear me out and if you still...if you still feel like this is something we can’t salvage, I’ll...”

“You’ll what?”

“I don’t, try to think of something else.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m not gonna tell you that I’m gonna let you go, sweetheart. Cause I fucking can’t. I’ve held you in my arms, I’ve made love to you, I’ve fucking felt your love which is what I wanted sine forever...I can’t just quit and walk away.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hear me out, okay? You know me well enough that I wouldn’t beg if I didn’t care. If I didn’t love you.”

He had you there.

You run a hand through your hair and huff, “let me go and put on some shoes-”

“Why-”

“You’re insane if you think Daisy is gonna let you step foot in her house after all of this.”

“Oh for fucks sake-”

“Ransom, she punched you once. You think she won’t do it again?”

“Fucking fine,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

The second you step you make your way back into the living area, Daisy is looking at you with a cocked eyebrow and her arms folded across her chest.

“I don’t need it today, Dais.”

“So, you’re just gonna take him back?”

“I haven’t decided on anything, I’m just going to talk to him.”

“Uh huh.”

“Dais.”

“You do what you think is best.”

“Daisy, I know, okay? I fucking know but-”

“I get it, babe. I really do. I know you love him, but you’ve been through so much already. However, with Ransom...I know you still cry when you think I can’t hear you, you hold your phone a little bit longer when he’s the one calling you before you hit ignore...you’re never going to be over him, so you need to do this.”

“Thank you,” you smile, eyes watery, as you sit down and hug her.

“I better get a good fucking report, or his fucking car is next,” she warns and you laugh with a sniffle.

“You gonna be okay, babe?”

“Like you said: I need to do this,” you shrug.

You get up, take a deep breath, and step into your flip flops.

It’s not going to be easy, but you need some sort of closure...or answer.

“Where do you wanna go?” you ask as you strap yourself into the passenger side of his Beamer.

“My house?”

“Nice fucking try,” you scoff.

“I’m not gonna fucking try anything, Y/N,” he sighs as he turns on the car.

“As already stated, I don’t trust you. So no, not your fucking house.”

“Okay, then where do you wanna go?”

“This was your idea, Ransom.”

“Because you wouldn’t answer your phone!”

“I can go back inside right now if you want.”

“Jesus, fucking stop. You already know I can’t win an argument against you,” he sighs as he starts his car. “It’s not like this is a discussion you want or will have in public, so lets just go to my house. The moment you feel uncomfortable or like it’s going somewhere you don’t want it to go, I’ll bring you back, or pay for a car service for you.”

“Ransom-”

“If there’s another place that you’ll feel more comfortable at, we’ll go there.”

You have a mini mental debate with yourself before suggesting, “I’m going to sign for my new house today. We can talk there.”

“There’s no fucking furniture.”

“Ransom, I swear to God.”

“Okay okay, tell me where it is. We’ll go,” he mutters as he pulls off.

You put the address in his phone and set it up for him to hear the directions, not wanting to talk to him more than you have to. As you both sit in silence, while he drives, you try to prep yourself for what’s about to happen.

Being alone with him terrifies the hell out of you at this point, because it’s been so long and you need him. Every part of you needs him, just like always. You have to be strong though. You have to decide what the hell you’re going to do, because the pain you’re constantly living with while living in limbo is too much. You have to decide if you’re officially done with Hugh Ransom Drysdale, or if you’re ready to quit him for good.

You have to decide if love is enough to save the sinking ship you two have been on for the last month.

~~

taglist: @emerald-evans​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​ , @companionjones​, @autumnrose40​, @fuckingbye​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​, @mazda098​, @chemtrails-club​

[xfangheartx]

My Hellaverse Fanfiction Masterlist.

I may as well do this, too, in case people wanna find and read my fics.

Main HB Fics:

Meet Buffy (Complete)- After getting into yet another argument with Blitzø, Loona decides to blow off some steam by going to the Lust Ring. However, in a surprising turn of events, she winds up coming back home… with a new friend. This is the story of Buffy, a Hellhound who found a home and a family in the most unlikely of places… in this case, literally.

The Break-Up (Complete)- Blitzø and Stolas haven’t had their monthly “transactions” in a while, and instead of immediately taking it to the bedroom, they’ve been going at things more casually. However, when Stolas brings up the possibility of ending the deal, Blitzø finds himself at a crossroads. Things come to a head on the night of the Full Moon, and now, both the assassin and the demon prince come to realizations about themselves as well as each other that could make or break their relationship.

A retelling of The Full Moon and Apology Tour with some divergence.

Healing (WIP)- Choosing to better oneself is the only first step in a long, uphill battle, which Blitzø is beginning to realize for the very first time. The question is, will he sink or swim? This is the story of Blitzø’s journey to self-improvement and how his moments of reflection affect his relationships with his loved ones.

Main Hazbin fics:

Nine's Tales (In Progress)- After she hired I.M.P. to kill her father, Nine left to find a place to stay, and she finds herself staying at the Hazbin Hotel, where she befriends Charlie Morningstar, the Princess of Hell, and her guests and hotel staff. As Nine navigates through her newfound afterlife, she finds that the journey to redemption is full of ups and downs. (OC fic, but also contains bits of Chaggie, CherriPentious, and Huskerdust)

Helluva Boss One-Shots:

Not Used to This- Fizz should be used to this by now, right? (Fizzarozzie)

Afterglow- After Blitzø and Stolas have another one of their little “transactions”, the imp lies awake with his thoughts while the prince sleeps. (Stolitz)

Late Night Ponderings- As Fizz and Ozzie sit in their bedroom, the former finds himself wondering about the relationship he has with the Sin of Lust. (Fizzarozzie)

Run Away- Octavia’s usual weekend stay with her mother quickly goes awry. Ties in with Chapter 31 of Meet Buffy.

The Cake- “Don’t you think these parties are startin’ to be a little… overkill?”

Fizz asks Verosika a simple question. Takes place before The Full Moon and Apology Tour.

Just For One Night- “Just one night” pretty much lost its meaning when Fizz started letting the quieves sleep in the bed. (Fizzarozzie fam fic)

Crushes- Oliver experiences his first heartbreak and Fizz tries to make it better. (Fizzarozzie fam fic)

DM me for an NSFW Fizzarozzie one-shot I wrote. I don't wanna take chances.

[jenna-ortega]

19th hour

vertigo intermission (joel pov)

YOU'RE SCARED OF LOVE, WELL, AREN'T WE ALL (JOEL POV)

INTERMISSION SUMMARY - After you took care of Joel, and he took care of you, he almost leaves you. Realizing his mistake, he makes sure he shows you exactly what he needs from you. Joel's claws are stuck between the layers of your skin, and it'll take a village to pry what he believes is his from those callused hands.

Pairing - joel miller x female reader Word Count - 2.8k Warnings - angst, pinv, gagged & bound, praise, heartbreak, bathroom sex

original chapter

series masterlist - previous chapter

series playlist - by the wonderful @lovers-liability

Light barely breaks through the dusty windows. His eyes are slowly blinking open as he feels the cool breeze of your open window raise goosebumps on his skin. You barely feel the blanket rustle as he turns over to inspect you there. It still feels like a dream. Joel hasn’t felt drawn to someone so unapologetically since… and this is what scares him. How is it you? Why is it you? He could run from himself and hide in useless bodies that create no resistance in his emotions…and yet you’d still find a wear to tear through flesh to get to the part of him he knew you wanted. His eyes danced up and down your body, thinking of ways he could hide again. Could he use your body to hide? Or would your body be all he’s hiding from? His skin crawls with the knowledge of last night, how much you’d taken care of him. Even after all he’s done, and will do. He can’t help himself. He takes. You give. 

Joel pulls the blanket slowly off of him, careful not to wake you. He looks down at himself, shirtless with just his boxers, he shakes his head. “m’ too old for this.” he whispers to himself as he walks himself down to where he remembers you took off his denim shirt. He should leave. He should find a place to hide soon, before you wake. Before he ruins it. Before he realizes this is exactly what Vanessa was screaming at him for before she left. 

-

“Joel. You never give me anything,” she pleads,

“I give you plenty. Give you more than I give most.” he corrects her, stomping away from her and to the front door. 

“I ain’t got time for this now, I've got somewhere to be.” Joel knows he’s being cruel, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but try to drag everyone down to feel what he’s been cursed to feel for years. Trapped. Within his own mind, within his own skin. And as he thinks about her words she screams as he leaves, 

“You’re tragic, Joel. You don’t deserve anything good.”  

-

He believed her. Believed anything good couldn’t possibly love anyone as damaged as him. And you were good. So he can’t, he won’t destroy you. 

At least that’s what he wants to tell himself. He wants to convince himself he’s strong enough to leave you alone, wants to convince himself that leaving would mean destroying. Hiding from you wouldn’t stop you from seeking him out. Demanding he give you what he’s denied you for so long. He wants to. Wants it to be you who he comes home to, wants to be the only person you listen to, be the only one you confide in. He wants to be the only one to build you up, and the only one to tear you down. He wants to be the one to see you cry, to wipe away tears against those puffy red eyes. His sick urge to dominate and control, he needs to own. Joel is not a man of softness, never a man who will not consume you and your every thought. If he has now decided to stay, he won’t let you leave. Not when you’ve spent all this time pleading to him, giving yourself to him. 

Joel takes a deep breath in as he puts his shirt back down, deciding to come back to you in bed. His footsteps are heavy as he’s made up his mind. This is it. He feels his claws release, finding a new host to sink into. That host turned to look at him in her doorway, eyebrows furrowed and hand outstretched over his side of the bed. 

“What ya look so nervous for, darlin’” he questions, his heart dropping as he watches the chaos ensue behind your eyes. The nerves he knows you had waking up and thinking he’d left you. How could he leave now? 

“Nothing.” 

Joel knows you're lying. He can sense concern on your face, knows he shouldn’t have even thought of leaving you alone after what he’s done to you. Joel watches you fidget as his eyes glare into you. He won’t run from you, he knows what he’s done in the past. Knowing the minute life resumes today the only thing going on in that pretty little head of yours will be if you’ll feel him again. 

“Alright then.” he lets it go. Doesn’t want to get into things with you after such a good morning. 

— 

“Thought I told you,” Joel grabs your attention behind the bar, leaning back against his chair with a smug smile on. You look so good in your mini skirt, he wants to devour you whole. Make a home inside your body and make you love it. 

“I don’t want you workin’ here.” and he means it. Doesn’t want to watch mean stare at what is now his. He knows how easy it would be to pursue something else, and he won’t let you do it. Won’t let any other animal sink their claws into you like he has. 

“You don’t own me.” Joel watches your mouth twitch in anger, loving how spunky you get with him. He’s gonna fuck that attitude out of you tonight and see what kind of shit you have to say then. Joel smiled as you slammed an empty glass in front of him. 

“But I want to.” and there wasn’t an ounce of dishonesty behind those words.

He watched your eyebrows raise as your chest expelled a large breath, you’re so cute when he takes you off guard. Your soft whisper of his name has him adjusting himself in his seat, bulge straining against his jeans.  

“ n’d here i thought you wanted me to own you,” his eyes darkened as he leaned over the bar, enticing you closer to him, “wanted me to take what’s mine. What belongs to me,” he growls and holds your eye contact without looking away,

“Tell me..you wanna be mine?” 

His eye contact was too painful as he looked you up and down. Swearing the sight of you to his memory, 

Joel rushes to lean over the bar, catching your chin between his large fingers. He would kiss you right now, force this whole bar to watch as he claims you, forcing you to stare back into his deep brown eyes, “I want an answer, darlin’,” he makes sure his southern accent was thick, knowing what it does to you. Melting in his touch, and all he does is laugh at your pathetic moan as he lets go of your face. 

“I wanna be yours.” 

Joel’s body temperature started to jump up. Those words made the dormant beast in him rage. Knowing you want to be his as much as he wants you. He loves knowing you’d let him control you, dick getting harder at the thought of dictating every move in your life. Forcing you to be a good girl by his side. God, you’re perfect. 

Joel spends the next few seconds thinking about all the ways he can ruin all of your nights, now knowing you’d happily oblige if he did. 

“Good girl,”

—

Joel had to have you right there. He couldn’t stop his steps as he led you into the bar bathroom, it was as if he was possessed by the idea of control. You give your body over to him as his prize, and goddamn was it something he’d cherish.  

He couldn’t stop himself from pushing himself against you, black mini skirt in his hand hiked up to your hips, his dick twitching as it met your aching core. He could feel how wet you were, watching his own jeans soaked through from your drenched underwear. Joel groaned as he watched your pussy clench around nothing, dripping down your own thigh. God, your fucking slutty outfits were going to be the death of him. You were definitely not allowed back at the bar after this. He watches the recoil on your ass as he slaps it, moaning as he kneads your ass, giving another sharp slap to one, making you moan out, “Joel,” 

Joel surely was loving this version of you. Compliant, and at the mercy of his hand. 

He undid his belt, thinking of how much he wanted to manipulate your body. It was his after all, and only he had a say on what you could do with it. He wanted you waiting and ready for him without any say. And that’s when he had an idea…if he wants to control you, it starts now. He pulled your arms in behind your back, he winced as his force caused you to wince. Joel leaned against your neck, wanting to taste the salty sweat on your skin. He groaned at the taste, whispering to you softly, 

“Poor little thing, in over her head is she?” his voice going higher, mocking you as you squirm in his embrace. Pushing back against him to feel his warmth against your body, Joel groaned at the feel of you. His prey trying to wiggle its way into submission. His belt now tied too tightly around your wrists, he watches as tears flow slowly from your eyes.. 

“Joel–please,” you were pleading with him to give you any sort of relief. He always felt bad, almost giving into you. But what precedent would that show?  His strong hands tangling up in your hair, bringing your head up to rest slightly below his shoulder, and on his warm chest, 

“You take what i give you, little girl” he warned, hand still tangled in your hair, now pushing your head off of his chest and forcing your eyes to watch yourself in the bathroom mirror. “Fuck” you were a dirty girl. He watches as your cunt drenches your panties more. His big body swallows you whole, holding you hostage as he walks your body closer to the mirror, pushing your pelvis to meet the cold porcelain sink. 

“Joel, please–” you cry out as his hips trap you, 

Joel hums in approval, “Darlin, I love when you beg…but you gotta stay quiet f’me.” 

Joel watches as you nod your head fast, looking over your shoulder to see his dark eyes burning a hole through you. And he growls as he rips your panties off your body, suddenly feeling rushed to feel you squeeze his cock. Your body bounces from the force, and he smirks as you whimper from the sharp pain, “Fuck…” Joel’s cock is red and swollen as he hears those words from you, noticing how fucked out you look without him even fucking you, 

“Shhh, baby. This’ll help,” 

He forces your panties into your mouth, muffling any pleas to him you might have had on the tip of your tongue, and gagging you in the process. 

Joel moved back from you, eyeing his work. “Mmmm” 

Your body slugged over the sink, black skirt pulled around your waist with your hands bound behind your back.

Joel’s grin spread ear to ear, his dick jumping in excitement as he began pulling down his pants just enough to pull out his cock. His pink tip pulsing with clear precum already released. 

He gripped it in hand, pumping it a few times before he walked back over to your body, lining it up with your slit. 

He needed to tease, running his cock along your wet slit and putting small pressure on your clit as he does. Feeling your body tremble under him as you try to scream out, he’d remember this moment forever. 

He couldn’t wait to take this from you any longer. Without warning, he shoved himself in you, hearing a squeak from beneath him–” fuck. FUCK.” his voice deep and husky as he began his pace, not letting you adjust at all. Grabbing your hips hard enough to bruise, helping him steady his thrust as he tore you apart. Your pussy squeezing around him, letting him know he’s in control of your body. Every thrust earned a squeal from you, he didn’t have any mercy in this. Deep and hard was all he was doing, the sounds coming from your core making Joel close his eyes and get lost in your body 

Mine, Mine, Mine, 

A chant Joel’s brain has now crawled its way into his mind. You were his baby. You were his to fuck, and his to hurt. He grabs your left tit and squeezed as he watches your nipples perk as he thrust even deeper inside of you, stumbling behind you as he loses balance with how hard he’s making you take it, 

“Mine. Mine. Mine” his chant. Possessive in nature. Because how just and fair is it to be his, his, his, after how hard you fought, he thinks. You’ve earned him, you’ve earned the right to be torn apart by him.. to be bound and gagged in a bar bathroom, to be controlled and subject yourself to his nature. Possessive. 

“You’re killing me with this pussy,” 

He watches your wrists turn red against his belt as his thrust sends you further and further against the sink, the cold porcelain distracting is all he feels as he snakes around your front and begins rubbing tight circles on your clit. 

He laughs at your feeble attempt to cry and moan his name against your panties, feeling your insides hug him tightly as he gives it all to you. His cock kissing your cervix when it happens, when he feels you shake and cry against the gag in his arms. Holding you up as you choke his cock with your orgasm, creaming all along his shaft.

 “Yeah baby, you got it, you can do it, taking me so. fucking. good. 

His thrusts match his words, hard punches into your cunt as you lay limp in his arms, gurgling nonsensical sounds as he takes, devours your whole. 

“Gonna cum, gonna, –oh, fuck!” 

He pushes deep in you, his balls hitting your core as he gives you everything, shaking and pushing you back into him as he does. “Take it all.” he demands through gritted teeth, 

You squeal out as he gives you one last hard thrust, pulling out of you with a deep guttural moan, “Oh baby…” he tilts his head up to the ceiling, breathing out heavy as he comes back down to reality, 

Joel tucks himself away and helps you get decent, ungagging you and pulling down your skirt, leaving you a small slap before pulling it down all the way. 

Joel begins fixing himself as he watches you breathe deeply, closing your eyes as your hands hold yourself up on the sink. He’s looking at your flush complexion in the mirror, walking closer to you and petting your hair,

“You did so well,” he kissed the side of your head. 

—

He brings you to place afterwards, making sure to tell Tommy he was stealing you for the night. 

“Have I convinced ya to quit yet?”

“Joel,” you sigh as he opens the door to his place, he wants to hear you open his door when he’s in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the living room. He needs you to blend yourself into his life so deeply you forget where you start and he ends. He needs you to never leave him. 

He notices the smell you bring up immediately, heart dropping as he recognizes the scent. His body stiffens as she comes out from the kitchen, 

“Joel! What took you so–” the high pitched voice he couldn’t not know. He watches as Vanessa’s eyes drop to yours. His heart drops as he feels you emotionally shrivel up. This can’t be happening. Not when he was so close to having you. And he knows he fucked up, watching you as you turn around and speed walk out of his place. 

“Fuck,” he throws his hands up, running his hands through his hair, walking closer to Vanessa in the kitchen,

“Really?...are you fucking kidding me, Joel?” she throws the sizzling pieces of pork against the top of the stove, shutting the fire off. 

“What the hell are ya doing here, Vanessa?” there’s an apparent tone to his voice. He can’t help but despise her at this moment. She broke up with him. She said terrible things to him and walked out, and now she would be the reason her words rang true, “You don’t deserve anything good.”

He holds his hand up, shutting her up as she began to defend herself, 

“Y’know what? …i don’ wanna hear it.” his voice low as he jumps at Vanessa, grabbing her wrist and dragging her out of the kitchen, to his front door. 

“Get the fuck out,” 

“Don’t touch me!” She screams as she tries to plant her feet on the ground, to no avail as Joel’s big body drags her further out the door, finally letting go as she falls to the ground in front of him. Her eyes puffy as she begins to cry. 

He’s doing it again. He’s destroying. He’s ruining things, ruining people and even if he’s noticed…it’s too late.

[mikaelsrose]

Ghost of You

Pairing: Tyril x f!human!MC (Reyna)

Book: Blades of Light and Shadow 2, chapter 1

Word count: 1720

Rating: T

Warnings: emotional hurt

Category: angst

A/n: where there is angst potential, there I am as well. it’s short, it’s painful, enjoy

Tag list: @lxdy-starfury @starlight-starfury @watatsumi-island @lazypartridge @sophie-summer @lilyoffandoms @brycesgirl @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesbookclub

“Then, if you don’t mind, once this is over I’d love to go back to Undermount with you.”

“Nothing would bring me greater joy than to come back home with you, my love.”

Benumbed, Tyril observed the bloody droplets’ road down the sandy stone wall of his chamber in the Whitetower palace. The pulsating pain in his left hand indicated, at best, a split knuckle, yet it could not amount to the agonising pain in his heart. It had been three months since Reyna was captured, and they made almost no progress in coming up with a plan to rescue her. Despite the countless hours spent in the realm’s biggest, most abundant library, despite desperately begging the most prominent magic wielders to open a portal to the Shadow realm, they made no progress. It was time to head home.

“Hey, don’t be a stranger, okay? We’ll keep digging as well,” Mal patted the elf on the arm as he mounted his drake. Tyril nodded almost imperceptibly. 

Nia gave his healthy hand a faint squeeze. Noticing her worried gaze, he squeezed back. The Priestess could not forget the agonised wail he let out one night, the same one she heard deep in the elven catacombs when they learned the truth about Kaya’s fate. Hearing the heartbreak in her usually composed friend’s voice broke her already strained heart. “Please take care of yourself, Tyril.”

“Reyna’s a mighty fighter, elf. We’ll find a way to get her back,” Imtura comforted, but even she could hear the lack of conviction in her voice.

“That’s assuming she’s still alive,” he muttered and before anyone could scold him, added: “Keep pushing Aerin. Resort to violence if necessary.”

The orc nodded and after a brief goodbye, Tyril gave the command and the drake took to the skies.

Upon arrival at the Starfury Manor, he requested for a guest room to be prepared and headed for the library, where he spent the following days. Combing through several books a day, the elf paid little attention to the food his family provided, the need for sleep or any of his representative responsibilities. It was not until a week later that he returned to the manor for the night, steering clear from his bedchamber, the one in which he spent a night with Reyna. 

The blue tint of the night sky and loud hoots of the native red-feathered Undermount owl indicated a late night hour. Despite the exhaustion, he found the strength to scribble a short journal entry.

Day 126 

Another fruitless night at the library. No news from Whitetower. Reyna would scold me for losing hope, but how am I supposed to believe there is a way when we haven't even stumbled upon anything helpful? What if there is no way?

According to Nia, Prince Aerin still refuses to cooperate. Or perhaps even he doesn't know how to help. I suppose he wouldn't withhold such knowledge, knowing it is Reyna who needs help.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. The information of Reyna's abduction resounded in every town, giving way to a wave of terror at the possibility of the dangerous enemies returning. Grateful nods and welcomes turned into pained looks of worry and compassion, forcing Tyril to hole up in the library where nobody bothered him. 

The notion of people pitying him implied an impasse, and Tyril was far from giving up. He was convinced that there was a way to open a portal, and he just had to find the right book. 

He rubbed his eyes, allowing a few tears of exhaustion to roll down his pale cheeks. 

That night, led by the ghost of melancholy, Tyril made his way to his chamber. 

Lying on his side, Tyril closed his eyes and his hand instinctively reached for her, only to be welcomed by a cold emptiness. 

Convinced he could still smell her flowery lotion on the pillow, the elf hugged the fabric to his chest, his thumb involuntarily stroking the material as if he was holding Reyna. 

"Please, hold on for a little longer, Reyna," he whispered, lulled to sleep by the soothing owl song. That night, just as every other night, he dreamt of Reyna; however, this time it was not a nightmare.

"Unless you fancy an ugly scar, stop wiggling for a moment," Reyna scolded, patting the wound on his neck with an alcohol soaked gauze. Tyril clenched his teeth and endured the medical care in silence. Once the wound was cleaned and bandaged, Reyna pressed her lips to his warm and slightly damp temple while Tyril, finally allowing himself a moment of respite, rested his head on her chest. His eyelids closed instantly as he felt safe in her embrace. 

Dragging his own feet, Tyril made his way through the city’s market district, ignoring the delicious smells of honey cakes and cheerful shouts of children dancing to a visiting bard’s song, a tale of Morella’s brigand of heroes. 

As he took a seat by a humble pond in the heart of a communal garden, the image of his beloved slipped into his mind, bringing about the memory of Reyna comforting him after Kaya’s funeral. A low, pathetic chuckle, resembling a shy sob, escaped his throat. Was losing the people dearest to his heart the price for saving so many lives? Had he not paid enough already?

The days and nights became a blur. Had he not kept a track of days in his journal, he would not have the faintest idea how long she’d been gone. Journaling was to be a way to keep his thoughts organised, but it did not stand the test of time. His daily scribbles rather quickly turned into letters to Reyna, letters he could not send. 

Encouraged by Adrina who could not bear to watch the limitless sorrow of her beloved brother, Tyril decided to return to his roots, a traditional meditation known as Erinza, typically a fifteen-minute conversation with the Gods which he had abandoned whilst on his quest. Now, as if both to atone and to beg them for help, he meditated for an hour three times a day.

As much as they could, the Starfurys helped to comb the library shelves, partially to help bring Reyna back, and partially to keep an eye on Tyril, making sure he ate and took naps. The dark circles under his eyes, matted hair conveniently gathered in a messy bun and unhealing wounds on his knuckles indicated that not only was he not taking care of himself but also that his nerves started to wear thin.

My dearest Reyna,

today marks the 250th day of your absence. I’m ashamed to admit that, realistically, there is nothing we can do for you. The last dove from Whitetower arrived this morning, saying that our friends had to resume their responsibilities, leaving just me and your brother searching the libraries. Imtura promised to check the plundered scrolls in Flotilla. Perhaps the orcs will have more luck. I certainly hope so.

I fear the Gods have forsaken me, Reyna. Despite my desperate pleas, there is no sign of anyone listening. 

Tyril sighed and scored the last sentence out of the entry. He was embittered, yes, but he knew better than to treat the Gods as djinns who would make his wishes come true. 

Throughout the day he struggled to keep his anger at bay, the sense of injustice, guilt, and punishment desperately clang to him while at night his dreams were plagued by the horrific possibilities of the abductors' tortures, thus despite catching a few hours of sleep, he'd wake up even more exhausted than before. The shadows took everything from him. When he almost gave his life trying to rid the world of danger, restore his House’s reputation, and give his beloved friend a proper closure, the darkness still found a way to destroy him. 

Whenever he felt the anger and urge for vengeance, he remembered the person he became thanks to Reyna. Before they met, his quest consumed him, sheer fury permeated every cut of his sword, and every conversation he held with the innocent residents. Reyna showed him a different path, a path that was kind but just, filled with love and compassion. As the walking testament to the incredible person she was, Tyril aspired to encompass what she taught him. To honour her memory.

Day 360. I fear that had there been a way to enter the Shadow Realm, we would have found it a long time ago. It’s time to look realistically at this situation. I have once again lost the one closest to my heart and I can’t shake the persistent thought that had I been faster, more decisive, she would now lie next to me. 

He failed. It was time to admit defeat. He failed Kaya, and then he failed Reyna. 

Once the hope for finding a way to rescue his beloved dwindled, almost exactly a year later, Tyril contended it was high time he returned to the family and social life. On a warm June night, he represented his House at a wedding of one of the House Ascendant heirs. Watching the elven pairs effortlessly sail through the floor, Tyril remembered last year’s masquerade—remembered how despite the looming danger of the Shadow Court he managed to dance with Reyna, how quickly he always forgot about the surrounding world whenever she was in his arms, and how incredible it felt to hold her so close. For a split second, he could even see their ghosts dance again, and he felt a familiar stinging in his eyes. Sipping on his honey wine, he pondered praying to the human gods, but he was shaken out of his thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder.

Adrina was looking at him with a warm smile. "May I have this dance, Lord Starfury?"

Tyril nodded absent-mindedly. As he led his sister across the floor, navigating amongst the cheerful elves, he imagined he was holding Reyna in his arms. Alas, Adrina's tall stature painfully reminded him of the harsh truth.

Day 365. Today I visited Kaya’s grave, begging her for help. I know I shouldn’t bother a resting soul—alas, I’ve become utterly desperate, love. Come back to me, Reyna.