#poorly written smut
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loving-azerath · 10 months ago
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Keegan Brain rot
lately this man has been in my head ALL THE FUCKING TIME. SO I am dumping my toxic Keegan brain rot here and I look I get it "why are you romanticizing toxic relationships?" But IM writing it and YOUR reading it so its very much a Girl what were YOU doing at Satan's brunch type thing okay? Okay.
This man is smooth as hell okay? He gets you with that deep fucking voice, and his fucking hot shit attitude. He is hot and he knows it. He walks like its heavy and it is. HE KNOWS IT. He got you so fucking downbad because for the first couple months you guys are literally so fucking in love in hurts. Both of you.
Yes TOXIC KEEGAN fucking loves you. He can't get enough. It's an obsession. Which is why when he sees that coworker talking to you he loses his mind a bit. Thought of anyone else having you? Quite literally breaks this man. You two fight, you break up. You are devastated. He's heart broken. How could he do that when all he was trying to do was keep you? Now though he can't get you out of his head.
He misses every fucking part of you and no matter who he fucks it never compares. So he ends up luring you back in with sweet words and toxic fuckin dick. He fucks you like he gets paid to do it. Hand on your throat in prone bone, fucking into you with almost body slams. Your fucking sounds fueled him because he missed them so fucking much.
He leaves hickies now, needing to mark you as his in hopes to keep other guys from getting too close. Which would have worked. If the guys that were approaching you were interested and not co workers or married friends. Didn't matter what you said to him. Though you aren't innocent in this either. Somewhere you learned that when he gets possessive, when he gets jealous...he fucks you so good that it replays in your head on repeat throughout the next month. When he starts the fights you fucking fight back. With words just as sharp.
It became a cycle before you knew it. Two years gone in it. Going two or three months happy and then one of you fucks it up. You only stay broken up for a month at a time. Its all he can bare. Longer if hes deployed but you bet as soon as he comes home from deployment hes at the bar he knows you like to go to. Tucking you away into a bathroom, caging you in against the sink of the single dirty stall. He knew what to say, and you wanted him so fucking bad. Even when you hated him a part of your body craved him. Craved him so fucking bad. You would pretend not to be interested, knowing it pisses him off. You were already soaked just from having him practically pinning you against the sink. Staring through your pretend uninterest. It would be a battle of who gave in and kissed first. He always lost. He would grab a fistfull of hair from the nape of your neck, pulling your head back enough to get a sweet little whimper from your lips before swallowing it with his own. Which would just give you more whimpers for him to swallow. His lips were always so hungry for you, to taste literally every part. Every inch of your neck and chest. Bruising hickies would litter any place he knew a man would look. When he was so hard he would hurt himself from his dick pressing hard against his zipper and seam of his jeans. He would finally unzip them, free his cock that twitched when freed. Twitched when he pressed it against you just to kiss you again, small grinds because he just needed the friction.
"Fuck..." He practically growl, "Do you have any fucking idea what you do to me doll?"
You would blink twice at him
"Piss you off?" You ask, to do what you may ask? Oh right piss him off because as I said you aren't innocent in this shit. It would work too. He would be fucking fuming. Hiking your dress up without removing his eyes from yours.
"Damn right you fuckin' piss me off." He grinds, his fingers finding your folds, this part always broke you. Every. Fucking. Time. Because his fingers were like magic. The warmth and friction bringing shuttering whimpers which as soon as he heard his cock pressed up against your stomach twitched again.
"You feel, so fuckin wet." He would whisper "I need you so fucking bad baby"
"Beg" You say, straightfaced. His eyebrow twitches in irritation. He should have seen this coming. Truthfully. It didn't matter if it was in a dirty bathroom. You would walk him like the dog he was. He sighs flexing a muscle in his jaw. Before slowly lowering to his knees. His eyes once again, never leaving yours.
"Please baby...I need you so bad" He says kissing your hips, messaging your thighs with your dress still in his hands, moving the fabric up and down your thighs with his movements.
"More"
"You" kiss "are" kiss "Everything" kiss "To me" His mouth hovering right over the one place he wanted to sink in the most. "Please, I don't have purpose when you hate me"
You scoff "Thought your purpose was to make me hate you?" You ask
"Only when we fight baby, I don't wanna right right now" He says smoothly planting another kiss around the one spot you both wanted his lips.
"Then make me forgive you" you say, a smirk crosses his lips before he devours you. Moaning vibrations into your core as soon as he tastes you.
"Fuck baby" He says against you, between laps that he doesn't break his eye contact for. "This is what I'm made for" He says, every lap, suck, flick, and moan is driving you crazy. Your whimpers during into panted mewls and whines.
"Kee..." you whine when you're close.
"I know baby, I know. It feels good. It always feels good. We feel good" He says, sucking on your clit while the high rises. "Let me taste how good I make you feel"
It was always so easy for him to make you cum this way. Your hands gripping the sink behind you as you struggle to keep your sounds under uncontrol. He always pulls away from your sweet core like it pains him to do so. Grabbing your hips and turning you a little too needily around to face yourself in the mirror.
"Fuck look at how good we look together like this baby. Keep watching, you'll see just how perfect we look together." He says, he looks down to guide himself into you and the familiar stretch breaks any resolve you had left.
The sounds your bodies make when they slap together echoed off the tile bathroom walls. Keegan had his hand over your mouth, letting your muffled moans feed his addiction and ego. You catch your reflection, your eyes and brows pulled into a fucked out pleasured expression. Your wetness was drinking down your own thighs and your legs were shaking.
His thrusts getting sloppier and his groans turning into whimpers that made you fucking melt every fucking time. He knew it.
"God you make a mess of me Angel. A fucking mess. All I am without you" he whimpers. "all i fuckin am"
he shoves himself so far inside you that the pressure is almost too painfil while you feel him pump his ropes inside of you. You were panting against his chest as he slowly removes his hand, then himself.
"Forgive me?" He asks as he zips himself up. You just silently nod, brain still fuzzy and feeling the mess he made inside of you leak out. It was filthy, but you loved it. He kisses your forehead. "Good girl, Let's go. I want round two but the ungodly things I'm going to do to you needs privacy"
and then the cycle fucking continues.
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maddithefangirl · 2 years ago
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A Chance With A Stranger (Azriel x Reader)
Warnings: poorly written SMUT (Readers 18+ ONLY)
Word Count: 2.4k
Summary: The innkeeper accidentally booked you and a certain Shadowsinger to the same room… with no other available rooms… with only one bed.
a/n: This is my first time writing anything sexy/smutty so I hope you enjoy it! I would love to hear what y’all actually think of this as I worked really hard on it. Thanks all <3 xoxo
You could not believe the predicament you have been put in.
You were on your way to your childhood best friend’s wedding in the Illyrian Steppes when you stopped at a nearby inn. It was Spring so the snow had just stopped, but that did not stop the bone-chilling cold that racked your bones. The warmth of the inn was a very welcome reprieve from the cold as you stepped into its warm embrace. There were so many people you couldn’t believe that your friend knew so many people. By the look of it the inn must have been fully booked.
You made your way to check-in desk along with several other people including some with wings. You were used to people with wings as you were from the Dawn Court. But the wings up here were bigger, smoother and a lot more attractive to look at.
As you wait in line you admire the quaint atmosphere of the place and take in the slight scent of snow and eucalyptus. Not exactly a warm scent, but it was still welcoming. Your turn in line came up pretty quickly as you’re greeted by a tall, dark skinned male with dark hair, “good evening, welcome to the Greenston Inn. May I get your name?” You return with a smile and a small, “hello.” Then take a moment before stating your name. As he checks the book you take in a long, deep breath finally clearing your mind after travel. “Huh,” you hear him mutter as he keeps looking back and forth over the same two lines, “I’m sorry ma’am but there is a slight issue with your reservation. It looks like we have accidentally double booked your room for the night with the man standing over there at the bar with the wings.” You could not believe it.
He called over the man you had been double booked with to explain the situation, “So, it looks like you were accidentally double booked in the King Single room. I’m sorry to say that we have no other availability in the inn, but you are more than welcome to keep the room.” As you listen you finally take a look at the stranger, and he is absolutely breathtaking. His dark hair was short and the perfect amount of messy. His tanned skin with hints of tattoos poking out the top of his collar were about as mouthwatering as his large arms. You had never seen someone so beautiful in your entire life. “Well, I have nowhere else to go so I’ll definitely take the room, and I don’t mind sharing,” you said to both males with a slight blush on your face. The stranger gave a slight smile and nodded, “If it’s okay I also need the room so sharing would be great.” Okay, you knew you offered but you expected him to decline! Well this should be interesting…
You make your way up to the room slowly carrying your heavy luggage, the stranger following close behind. By the time you both reach the room and head inside, you are beat. Exhausted from your day of travel you drop your bags and flop onto the bed, just barely able to hear the door close on the other side of the room, “Well, hi, my name is Azriel, what’s yours?” Your eyes shoot open and you sit up, “Um, Y/N,” you reply quickly. You take a look around the room for the first time. There’s an armchair in the corner made to accommodate wings with a faux plant next to it, and by the bed is an ensuite bathroom with a large bathtub and two sinks.
The bed you were on would be big enough for at least three fae, but an Illyrian? Not sure how you both will fit. Wait, why am I assuming that we are sharing the bed? “Hi Y/N, well how do we want to do this? I can sleep in the armchair no problem, I only need this room for one night,” he says just loud enough for you to hear. Everything about him seems to be soft except for his appearance. One night… You could handle one night. “Okay well I know that the chair will be so uncomfortable… we could maybe share the bed and build a pillow fort between us?” You said back. Silence filled the room and only in that moment did you see shadows coming off his form and slowly made their way to you. You mouth gaped not scared, but slightly concerned. That was definitely something you had never seen before. He chuckled and the shadows came rolling back behind him, “Sounds good to me as long as you are completely sure.” You smiled at that. He must’ve been the most respectful male you had ever met.
After that he left the room until after dinner, and you were thankful for the peace and quiet. Dinner was as you expected, but the whole time all you kept thinking about was a nice, warm bath. When you made it back to the room the bath was already running. Great. You decided to take out your book and start reading to pass the time.
The book was not enough of a distraction to take away the thoughts of how that attractive male was naked so close to where you sit now. Gods the things you would let him do to you. Your cheeks heated, and the thoughts kept spiraling until you hear the drain. That is enough to stop those thoughts and put your attention back on your book. The heat from your cheeks work down to your core. You make yourself look busy as you hear the door to the bathroom open. The male comes out with a towel low on his hips with water droplets still visible on his sculpted, tattooed chest. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you come back. Let me go change and then the bathroom is all yours for the night,” he said in a hurried tone. You moved your book in front of face peaking over the top. You could not take your eyes off of him as he walked around the room retreating back to the bathroom. Those thoughts returned as his back muscles glistened in the lamp light of the room. Once he reaches the bathroom, you get up and get your things ready for your bathing time.
---
The water heats you to your bones as you relax sinking deeper into the tub. Your thoughts go back to the Illyrian male that is not far from you outside the door. The way his muscles were on show for you to see for only a short time… that was magical. That thought goes straight to your core as a blush creep onto your entire face. I could be quiet… That thought excites you. Your fingers go under the water sliding down your body until you reach your clit. You put your other hand over your mouth as your breath hitches. Fuck. The water moves slightly as you begin to circle your fingers causing senses of pleasure to spread throughout your body. The pleasure is numbing to the other senses. So much so that you just about jump out of your skin when you hear Azriel drop something on the other side of the door, “Sorry!” Well that ruined the moment.
The water has long since grown cold as you step out to apply your creams and brush your teeth. There’s a robe on the back of the door you put on as you do your routine. When you exit the bathing room, you’re in a large t shirt and shorts as you put your things back into your bag. You take him in with his glasses low on his nose. He’s also reading as you were before propped up in bed with a pillow barrier already made. Azriel looks up at you with a light smile on his face, “I hope this barricade is good enough for you, I didn’t know how many pillows you needed to sleep with.” He only had one pillow behind him as he left you two to sleep with. Was he the most perfect male you had ever met? Pretty and thoughtful.
Sleep did not meet you when you reached the bed. Azriel seemed to find it easily, but you tossed and turned. When moving your foot grazed his leg and a bolt of electricity jolted up your body. Cauldron fuck. You took slow, steady breaths as you finally let sleep overtake you.
When you woke up you didn’t recognize where you were. You remembered there being a barricade but that must’ve been long forgotten as you were skin to skin with the handsome male next to you. The thought did not freak you out as much as seeing a wing flopped overtop you and something hard pressed against your ass. Damn. You didn’t know how to move without making things worse. But would that really be a bad thing? You shake your head trying to rid the dirty thoughts from your mind, but they wouldn’t go away, so you played into them slightly moving your ass slowly to see how he reacted. If his wingspan was any proof of how endowed he was, you were in for the morning of your life.
You had always heard that Illyrian’s wings were the most sensitive part of them, but you also heard that you should never touch their wings without permission. Fuck, what am I doing? This is a stranger! You must be going crazy. His cock hardens as he pulls you closer to him. So many things were swirling through your mind, but the overwhelming one was that you wanted him. Badly. So, you reach your hand back and stroke his cock through his sweatpants.
His breath catches and you freeze.
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” he whispered into your ear. Now that he’s awake you turn around to look at him, still in his arms, “are you sure?” You asked back, wariness in your eyes. His cock twitches in your hand in response. You start stroking him again, but that wasn’t enough, so you find the waistband of his sweatpants and delve underneath. Under his underwear, you find his long, hard cock. Your thumb traces over the head as he hisses. You chuckle and begin stroking him again. His hips jut up and he grabs your face with a hand, leading it up to look him in the eyes. He brings your face to his in a long kiss. This was heaven you were sure of that. Azriel uses both hands and lifts you so that you’re sitting in his lap, hand still on his cock. He rids you of your shirt and takes in your pert nipples. Now he was in heaven. He takes one in his mouth and palms the other. His mouth makes you gasp in pleasure as he relentlessly sucks and nibbles at the nipple. You had no idea that pleasure like this could feel so good as it reverberates down to your core. His thumb rubs over the other nipple making it harden. He removes his mouth and switches to the other, sucking and licking the hard nipple making you moan loudly. Cauldron boil me.
Your hand moves over him in lazy strokes getting lost in your own pleasure as he releases from your breast. You feel your wetness soak into his sweatpants. A blush creeps onto your face as embarrassment overtakes you. He lifts your chin to look at him again, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, angel.” He kisses you long and hard. You send him a small smile in return. He takes the lead now and moves your underwear to the side and pulls off his pants to let his cock free. Holy shit he’s huge. “Angel, hop on,” he whispers in your ear, nibbling slightly. 
You give him a concerned look but ultimately do as you’re told and sink onto his long cock. A moan slips out of you as you bottom out. His hands grip your waist and start moving you slowly. The feeling is euphoric when you help and pick up the pace. The moans from you both fill up the room. He moves one of his hands to your breasts as they bounce with each stroke. A pinch of your nipple makes you stutter in your movements, but Azriel kept up the pace grabbing down on your hips again. You move your hand to your clit circling as fast as you can stand it getting close to the edge. 
You move your hips in sync with his thrusts when he surprises you and flips you to where he is now on top. “Did you really think I’d let you take control, Angel?” he says just loud enough to hear over your moans. He rips off what little underwear you had left and picks up the pace, rocking into you as your moans turn into screams. Your legs are trembling and shaking as you inch closer to your release. “I want you to come all over my cock, Sweetheart, and I will fill you up in return,” he says, coming close to his edge as well. You feel the knot in your core shatter as your high washes over you. He moans in your ear, filling you up with his hot seed as he falls on top of you. His seed is spilling out of you onto the sheets, but you don’t care because you just had the best sex of your entire life. Wait. What the absolute fuck did you just do? 
You sit up on your elbows and look at the male laying on you. He was still the most attractive male you had ever seen, but there was no way this was going to work. But as you look at his jet-black hair, you find something that pulls him to you. “Hey, if you’re not doing anything later would you like to go with me to a wedding?” You whispered, hoping he did not hear what a bold statement you just put forth. “Yeah, I’d like that, Y/N,” he replied with a smile. 
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fabuladorah · 4 months ago
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b1mbodoll · 26 days ago
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pairings: sim jaeyun x f! reader
warnings: werewolf! jake + knotting + biting + blood + dub / noncon + creampies + breeding + slight mention of impreg + dacryphilia
💌: haiiiii.. enjoy. BEWARE DUB / NONCON!!!!!!!!!! i love kinktober, unfortunately dont think i could ever participate but it’s october and i love wolves and jake and knotting
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werewolf jake that tries so hard to keep his lycan side a secret from you. you’re so sweet, so fucking innocent and it drives him crazy; makes it harder to keep from fucking his knot into you as he pounds your tight cunt, harder to keep from sinking his teeth into your soft neck and claiming you.
but god, does he want to.
he constantly thinks about how you’d react if he exposed himself to you. would you be afraid of him? scream and cry as his thick knot swells inside of your tiny pussy? push him away when you see those long, dangerous canines inching closer to your vulnerable throat?
or would you pull him closer, wrap your legs around him as he rams your cervix with each thrust? maybe even tilt your head to the side and slide your hands into his hair, pressing his face into your neck so he can easily nip at you.
jake doesn’t know what he’d do if you began to fear him.. if you scrambled to run away before he had the chance to plug you with his knot. he doesn’t know if he’d be able to bring himself to stop fucking you.
it’s wrong and sick and he knows it, but he doesn’t seem to care when his instincts take over as he’s fucking you one night, his claws and canines itching to grow the closer he gets to cumming. there’s absolutely no way he can part from your tight hole that’s gripping him so tight he can barely pull out, so he doesn’t.
he all but growls when you clench around him, lost in pleasure and moaning when a particularly hard thrust has you squeezing your eyes shut and coating his cock in a ring of cream. it’s enough to send your boyfriend over the edge, his cock thickening up at the base before his mouth finds your tit and his teeth draw blood.
the pain brings you back to your senses and horror fills your mind when you see the furry ears on his head and the rivulets of blood staining his chin. you’d heard stories of werewolves but you’d never imagined jake, your sweet and kind jake was one.
you struggle and writhe beneath him but it’s no use; how can a human overpower an apex predator? it only works to anger him, a guttural growl making your eyes well up with tears and shake your head no, lost for words.
but he doesn’t seem to register your rejection.. or maybe he simply doesn’t care because he continues to abuse your sensitive cunt, using you for his pleasure, pinning you down with a single hand, and wiping your tears with a clawed finger.
he doesn’t stop, can’t stop, until youre properly bred: full of his thick, sticky cum and his knot keeps it deep inside, ensuring you’d carry his pups.
jake’s no longer in control of himself and it shows in the way he’s fucking you. each thrust is harder than the last and you swear his cock is going to split you in half, it hurts but a part of you likes it; you like being manhandled and used like his breeding bitch, the feeling of his tongue licking your sore chest and especially, the way his cock throbs and twitches inside of you.
all you can do is lie there and take what he chooses to give, cumming again when ropes of his warm cum paint your inner walls and the tip of his dick slides past your cervix, completely flooding your womb.
you’re so fucking full, his length deeper than ever and his knot stretches your hole, keeping jake from pulling out.
but it’s not enough for the wolfboy, his tail is.. wagging? as he humps into you, the push and pull of his hips making you whine.
you weren’t meant to take such a large cock but it doesn’t matter, he made it fit and he’ll continue to push your limits until he’s content.
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wildechildwrites · 2 months ago
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Run, Rabbit
König/Reader
Wordcount: 3.8k
Warnings: 18+, Violence, Injury, Smut, lightly noncon but in the way that you're fighting it but are down, König being insane
No use of Y/N
Summary: You're on a solo mission in Romania, and König goes hunting
A/N: "Oh look another predator/prey coded Konig fic how original" SHUT UP I KNOW
AO3: Run, Rabbit
18+
You’re in the forests of Romania on a solo mission, snooping around an abandoned military base that’s been the location of some suspicious activity, according to your sources. You find the ghost of the for-hire group Kortac in rat-chewed maps and files, faint footprints in layers of dust, but the trail has long gone cold, the building slowly being reclaimed by nature. The trees show no sign of the changes of autumn, but it's in the air, the late summer whisper of a chill in the breeze. You take your time picking your way along the overgrown roads, enjoying the tranquility of the forest. The extraction point is ten clicks west of your position, but you’re content with your steady pace, the sun still high in the sky, shining brightly through the thick foliage, and the hike is an easy one. Your meager findings are carefully folded in your bag of gear, your gun snug on your hip. Ten meters to your right, a red deer raises its head up, watching you warily, before bolting away into the trees. You smile to yourself and raise your face to better feel the sun. 
You hear the crack of the shot and drop, but not quickly enough. Your ears ring, your shoulder burning agonizingly, like someone’s pushing a hot poker against it. You fight against the nausea and pain, willing yourself to move, scrambling into the brush for cover. The shot came from your six, and you grapple for your binoculars, trying to locate the shooter on the hill above you. You recognize the mask first, the bleached tear tracks down an executioner's hood, the hulking form of the figure wearing it unfortunately familiar. König is standing casually, seemingly unafraid of any return of fire, staring down like he can see you through the trees. The hairs on the back of your neck prickle instinctually as he begins to move, a sauntering pace down the hill like the slow lope of a wolf. You drop down again, ignoring the pain in your shoulder as you crawl through the underbrush. 
Nestled low on a hill, large body half buried in the underbrush, König watches you through the scope of his rifle, toying with the idea of killing you. He recognizes you from the files he’s seen on the 141, but there was nothing left at the base for you to find, no reason to draw suspicion and attention back here. You were harmless like this, and magnetic, head tilted towards the sun, your face lit up in a wash of gold light that plays up the color of your hair. His finger brushes lightly across the trigger as he contemplates his options. He rolls his neck loose before glancing through his scope again.
You stop behind a small boulder, pressing your back to it, breathing heavily, and pull your radio off of your hip. “Bravo Six, this is Bravo Seven Four, over.” 
The crackle of the radio is a relief, Price’s voice faint but firm. “Go ahead Bravo Seven Four, over.” 
“Enemies one; direction east of my grid two hundred meters, injury sustained, six clicks out of extraction point, over.” You peek out from behind the rock, but can't see anything, so you continue your crawl, waiting for a response. The birds have stopped singing, a deadly quiet that warns of danger.
“Stay calm Bravo Seven Four–” Price’s voice is cut off by the sound of another bullet whizzing near you. You can’t have your radio giving away your position, and the squad is too far away to reach you before König could. You grab your radio and quickly press the button. 
“Bravo Six, silence, meet at extraction, over.” You turn it off, not waiting for a response, and tuck it back into your belt. Ignoring the growing burning in your shoulder, you move as quickly through the underbrush as you can. You need to cover more ground if you’re going to make it out of here, so you weigh your options, propping yourself into a low crouch, scanning the woods behind you. You can’t see or hear anything. You inhale deeply, then break into a sprint.
The cracking of branches is faint, but König is listening for it, his rifle slung over his shoulder as he searches for you. He immediately changes directions, moving towards the noise and quickening his pace. If you want to run, he’s more than happy to indulge you, relishing the adrenaline of the chase. Your trail is clear, broken branches like a beacon beckoning him closer. He spots blood on one of the low boulders, and swipes it up on his gloved hand, smiling under the mask. 
You're hyper aware of your disadvantage, the sounds of snapping branches as your pursuer draws closer, the sluggish flow of blood down your shoulder from where the bullet grazed you. Your lungs burn, head woozy as you run hard, branches scraping at your form. You risk a look over your shoulder, searching for König behind you, and your heart drops when you miss a step. 
All of a sudden, you're falling, hands stretched out in front of you as you tumble down a steep hill. You hear and feel the snap of your ankle in your boot, a whimpering sob yanked from your chest as you finally land heavily in some thorn covered bushes, branches scratching your body even through the thick fabric of your uniform. You pull yourself out, ignoring the pain as thorns drag against your face, drawing blood, then scan yourself quickly, the prognosis bleak. You can't run, not with what is definitely a broken ankle, and your shoulder is still oozing freely, but you won’t go down without a fight. You drag yourself through the dirt using your good arm, stopping periodically to listen to the sounds of König moving through the trees. Your entire body burns, and you fight against the growing fatigue that’s threatening to overwhelm you, trying to hold onto your quickly waning adrenaline. 
The sound of breaking branches draws nearer. He’s moving faster, heavy footfalls that make your leg muscles twitch with the urge to run. König whistles, high and loud, and you reach for your gun, cocking it as quietly as you can, turning around to face the direction of the noise, crouching low. Your heart pounds in your chest, fear creeping in, the weight of your situation crashing down on you.
“I heard you cry out,” a voice rings through the trees. There's something light in König’s tone, like this has all been a game of tag. “You can't be too far.”
Then the only sound is the breeze, rustling in the leaves. Blood from a cut on your forehead drips into your eye, and you resist the urge to wipe it away, scanning your surroundings as best you can without moving.
The unwelcome feeling of the muzzle of a gun presses against the side of your head, and your body shudders involuntarily. 
“Drop your weapon, Häschen,” König murmurs. You comply immediately, tossing it at his feet, unwilling to argue with a Beretta at your temple. The large man quickly kicks your gun into the bushes. “Sit up,” he commands, and you move slowly, trying not to aggravate your broken bone. 
The small shack hasn’t been used in a while, the table in the center of the room is covered in dust, and spiders have made their home in the corners, spinning silvery streamers that hang down, brushing against his helmet. König places you lightly on the small bed in the corner, stooping over uncomfortably in the low room. Your hair is full of sticks and leaves, your face scraped and bleeding. He needs to look at your shoulder, and the ankle you’d been hovering over protectively, but work comes first. You’ve thrown him off, his fingers tingling where he held you to him, the phantom pressure of your head on his chest as he carried your unconscious body through the woods haunting him even now. He grabs your gear bag, dumping it unceremoniously onto the table, pulling your medkit to the side before rifling through the papers you’d found. The information was outdated, but he shoves the papers into one of the pockets of his pants for disposal later regardless.
You knew he was large, but kneeling at his feet he feels like a goliath, towering over you, the gun held in his grip looking comically small in his giant hands. He holsters it, and you get a stupid, moronic, brilliant idea. In a quick motion, you’ve ripped your radio off of your belt, pressing down on the button and bringing it to your lips. “MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY–” König slams the heel of his palm into the back of your head, and the world goes dark.
He doesn’t bother stripping you properly, just takes his knife and slices it up through the collar of your shirt, baring your shoulder to him. His eyes, unbidden, trace the line of the now exposed column of your throat, and he swallows loudly in the quiet of the room. König draws his attention back to your injury with some difficulty. He barely even grazed you, the puckered wound bleeding sluggishly, and he quietly gloats at his own aim. When he pours alcohol on it, you awaken with a hiss, throwing your arm out hard in his direction reflexively before your brain catches up with you. He deflects you easily, wrapping large fingers around your wrist, enjoying the feeling of the delicate bones, watching with silent smugness as your confusion reads clear on your face. 
“Guten tag,” he says, pleasantly casual, as though you’ve run into him at the grocery store. Your head is pounding, and you’re thrown, trying to grasp your surroundings. Your shoulder is burning, and you’re suddenly aware of the air on your bare skin. You rip your hand out of his grasp, pulling yourself as far away from him on the small bed as you can manage. He tilts his head, studying you. 
“What are you doing?” You ask, your voice hard. 
König gestures with the alcohol he’s holding. “I’m patching up your injuries.” His voice is low, his accent curling around the syllables of his sentences like smoke. 
You blink at him, utterly disarmed. “Why,” you pause, biting your cheek as a wave of pain radiates through your ankle, “Are you patching up my injuries?” 
“Would you prefer it if I left them?” He volleys back lightly, tilting his head. 
You don’t say anything, staring at him with suspicion. He’s got you cornered, quite literally, and there’s no way you can get away from him with your ankle like this unless you can get your hands on a weapon. There’s a knife tucked in your boot, but you can’t exactly pull it out subtly. His beretta is on his hip, his rifle is leaning against the table, but you’d be lying to yourself if you thought you had a chance in hell of reaching either before he could. 
 König takes your silence for compliance and goes back to dabbing your wound with alcohol. You flinch when he places his hand on you, and he makes a dissatisfied noise in the back of his throat. “Such a nervous little rabbit.” The mask conceals his expression from you, but you can hear the frown in his voice. 
“You shot me,” you respond dryly. “Doesn’t exactly foster trust.” 
 “Just a scratch. I could’ve killed you, if I wanted to.” He shrugs, a casual movement that’s unintentionally intimidating, your eyes on the way his shoulder muscles move beneath the layers of clothing he wears. 
You spend your time with large men, the boys of your team all averaging above six feet, but König is just startlingly gigantic. You scan his torso, eyes tracing across the wide planes of his chest, lingering too long to be decent. You catch yourself and drop your gaze down to your hands. “If you don’t want to kill me, what do you want?”
“I want to know what you are doing here.” His tone is still pleasant, but interrogative. His fingers are deliberate, surprisingly gentle as he bandages your shoulder, but there’s an unspoken thread of tension in the air. 
You’re much more docile when he patches up your ankle, an uneasy truce between the two of you. You sit still as he splints it, legs draped almost intimately over his lap, his large fingers curled around your injured leg, gentle pressure holding you steady as he works. He adjusts his hold, squeezing lightly on the meat of your calf, and your breathing stutters. His eyes flick to yours, something dangerous in their expression, and you hold his gaze as you deliberately drag your uninjured leg closer to you, your boot trailing across König's upper thighs intentionally. His eyes slip close at the sensation, just for a moment, and that's when you act, yanking your knife out of your boot and sinking it into his thigh and launching yourself to the floor. He lets out a snarling cry, and you scramble up, your vision going white from the pain of your ankle, but you push through it, sprinting out of the shack. 
“Chasing shadows.” You respond, your voice equally mild. You know he looked through your pack and probably found the papers. You wonder if he thought it was ironic that you came sniffing after KorTac, just to run right into him. You certainly did.
You can't run properly, reduced to a hobble that's made all the more difficult by the fact that you're on uneven terrain in the quickly growing dark. You need to figure out your location and find a way to contact your team, but you’re disoriented and disarmed. You haven’t made it more than a few meters when you hear the sound of the front door slam open. You pick up the pace, trying to put as much distance between you and the very angry Austrian hot on your trail. 
“Häschen,” König’s voice rings through the trees, and a trickle of fear runs through you. You duck behind a tree, pressing yourself against it firmly, trying to blend in with the darkness. 
“Always trying to run away,” he snarls, shoving his body against yours. He thrusts his uninjured thigh between your legs, pinning you further, and you let out an unintentional gasp at the sudden pressure of hard muscle against your core. König instantly pulls away, his eyes shooting down to your ankle with concern, before dragging slowly up your body, his gaze accusatory.  
He can hear you breathing, light and quick, and he doesn’t even try to disguise the heavy sound of his footsteps as he closes in on you. He whips around the tree you’re cowering against, and you try to bolt, but he wraps his fingers around your bicep, yanking you back, slamming his hands above your head, trapping you against the tree. 
“You like this,” he says, and you shake your head desperately. 
“I don’t–” he interrupts any denials you might have, deliberately grinding his thigh in between your legs. You clench your teeth against the noise it draws from your throat. 
He leans impossibly closer, your noses almost brushing through the hood he wears. “Did you like the chase as well?” His voice is a husky rumble, full of heat, and you have to bite back a whine. “I liked the chase.” You realize the hard length against your stomach isn't his Beretta, and an unwanted spike of arousal shoots through you in response.
“You’re insane,” you snap, grappling for some semblance of control over the building pleasure in your core. König pulls away from you abruptly, and you flush at how wet you are, soaking through your underwear. 
“How about a game, Häschen?” his voice has lost its edge, back to the pleasant tone he used in the shack, and your head spins at the sudden change.  “I'll give you five minutes to run or hide, and if you can make it ten minutes without me finding you, I’ll take you to your extraction point myself, safe and sound.”
Your heart races. You don’t trust him, but there's no way you'll get another chance to get away from him. “And if I can’t?” You ask. 
You know you’re fucked, but you scramble through the darkness as quickly as you can, trying to find a good place to hide. If your ankle wasn’t broken, you’d climb a tree, but you’re stuck searching for ground cover, listening with mounting paranoia to the quiet noises of the forest. You’re a celestial body pulled unwillingly into König’s orbit; collision unavoidable.
He says nothing, just purposefully presses his hard cock against your center. Traitorous want flows through you.
You hear him coming, branches breaking as he stalks towards you. You stand as straight as you can, letting him approach you, his eyes bright in the dim of twilight. When he comes within range, you lunge for his gun, almost succeeding in yanking it out of the holster before he grabs you around the waist and pulls you to the ground, pinning you roughly beneath him. 
Even as he manhandles you, you're hyper aware of the delicate way he avoids putting any weight near your injured shoulder. He's got your legs splayed around him, but he's careful, adjusting you just so, keeping your ankle tucked safely away, angled so he won't jostle it. His hips press obscenely against your ass, and you can't help arching your back into him, begging for his cock even as you swear at him.
“Get the fuck off of me,” you spit, and he just laughs, an off-putting, mean sound, before reaching around and ripping open your pants. The button pops off, and the zipper teeth split forcefully apart as he shoves a hand into your underwear. 
“Complain all you want, Häschen, but you're soaked for me,” he coos into your ear, roughly rubbing your clit. You moan at the contact, and he moves his hand lower, pressing his palm against your clit before shoving a finger into your wet center, roughly splitting you open. You gasp at the sudden stretch, König giving you no time to adjust as he pulls his finger out for a moment and plunges it back in, moving in and out at a punishing pace.
“Tell the truth.” He orders, adding a second finger. He curls them, stroking your inner walls, bullying you open until he finds the spot that makes you see stars.  “Say you want me to fuck you.” 
You're beyond words, making a derisive noise that transforms into a whine as you move your hips back, driving König's fingers deeper, your ass rubbing against his clothed erection. All you can focus on is the press of his body against yours, his fingers unspooling you, pulling you apart as he pants along with you. The tension is building, the knot in your stomach tightening as König forces you closer to the edge. 
He pulls his fingers out abruptly, leaving you devastatingly empty and unsatisfied, and you let out an anguished whimper despite yourself. He pushes your pants roughly down around your thighs, and the purr of his zipper opening makes you clench reflexively around nothing. 
He presses right against your entrance, a breath away from splitting you open on his cock. You shove your hips back, trying to fuck yourself onto him, and he pulls back. “Say you want this,” he demands. 
“Fuck. You.” You snarl, even as your thighs tremble. He drags the head of his cock up through your folds, coating himself in your wetness, and you gasp. 
“Such spirit,” he murmurs. In a single motion, he sinks into you, splitting you in open, pulling the air from your lungs. 
He thrusts into you fast and hard, like he wants to tear you open, and it hurts, even with how soaked you are. You cry out, trying to squirm away from the pain. His fingers find your clit again, his breath hot in your ear. He dwarfs you, your legs shaking from pleasure and the weight of him on top of you, pressing you into the dirt. 
“You wanted this.” His voice is a panting snarl, his talented fingers stealing your senses as he forces you closer to your orgasm. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the forest air as he pounds into you without mercy. “Say it.” 
“I want this,” you whimper. You feel the shocking whisper of his lips against the junction of your neck and shoulder and realize with a start that means he’s not wearing his hood. All thoughts are shoved out of your head as he sinks his teeth into your skin, and you wail as you snap, the sensation dragging you over the edge, your body trembling as you cum. His thrusts become sloppy, his cock twitching inside you as he shoves his hips against yours, filling you up. He stays like that, flush against you, as his dick softens, keeping you full and trapped under him. 
You lay in the dirt panting, hollowed out and raw. There are pine needles prickling against your skin, soreness awakening in your limbs as you come back to yourself. König climbs off of you, still cognizant of your injuries, and pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you like a lover, the brutality melting into tenderness like watercolor. His hood is back in place, and the world comes crashing down around you as your senses return, the weight of your actions pulling you down as regret and shame bubble under your skin. 
The walk to the extraction point is silent. König holds you cradled against his chest; your hand fisted in the front of the vest he wears. His thigh burns, his entire body consumed with exhaustion, but he clenches his jaw against the pain, focusing instead on your face, turnt up towards him, open and vulnerable, eyes rimmed with red. If he was a better man, he'd be sorry. 
König notices your eyes glazing over, the warble of your chin, and reaches up a large hand to cradle your face, wiping away tears you didn't realize were threatening to fall. “Hush bunny, you did so well,” he croons down at you, his saccharine actions thrown in high relief against how violently he handled you before. “Such a good girl for me.”
He sets you down gently on a large rock, and pulls your knife out of a hidden pocket, his hand raised in a placating gesture as he slowly places it beside you. It’s still got his blood on it, dried to rust on the tip. You don’t reach for it, pulling your uninjured leg up and wrapping your arms around yourself. You look even smaller than you did before. 
He straightens his spine against the odd sensation in his chest. “Tell your captain to keep a closer eye on his men,” He orders, then reaches out a hand, hovering just above your cheek bone. Neither of you bridge the gap.  
You watch him disappear into the trees, the shadows swallowing him whole, the sound of a helicopter in the distance.
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bratbarzal · 3 months ago
Text
On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Three
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Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*
*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.
WC: 13k
Chapter Warnings: angst obviously what would this story be without it, poppy and nico having an overdue conversation, nico moping again with his big sad brown eyes, nico being jealous again, drinking, cursing, meddling friends, being stood up, mentions of controlling parents as always, a little touching maybe a little more kissing too and even more meddling friends
Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.
Series Masterlist
Previous Part (Chapter Two)
A/N: I have nothing to say honestly just hope you enjoy I really don't know why I struggled writing most of this despite knowing what I wanted to do with it I think just figuring out how I want certain conversations to go and how to get from a to b is pure stresssss I'm not entirely in love with it but what can you do also proofread her? I hardly know her
but if you have anything to say pls send it my way lmao I'd really like to hear any thoughts or opinions 💓
Poppy
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Poppy was once told by her good friend, Kelsey, that she would be able to tell everything she needed to know about a guy by the way they answered one very simple question. 
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
She thinks about it more often than she really should, if she’s honest with herself, but Kelsey’s rationale behind each potential answer is actually a stroke of rare genius - and Poppy often finds herself applying the logic to most people that she encounters.
Guys who say super speed are the ultimate red flag. No one wants a quick finisher, no matter how fast they may be in any other aspect of life. Some things specifically require time and patience. Sacrificing your partner’s satisfaction all to say you can run the world record fastest 5k is the ultimate ick.
There’s an argument to be made for the endurance choosers, it sure has its perks, but Poppy thinks it’s a boring pick. To be given the option of any superpower, and to choose perseverance, of all things? Get a life. 
Anyone who chooses x-ray vision is a certified pervert, obviously. The same could be said for those wanting to read minds, although most of the guys Poppy has seen in her life struggle to comprehend the things she says in plain words, never mind whatever nonsense is circling through her inner thoughts. 
Those who choose flying are one dimensional, rarely able to see beyond what’s right in front of them, because, if they could, they’d choose the much better option of teleportation.
Who chooses flying when you could just think about somewhere and instantaneously arrive? With your hair in tact and no risk of bumping into any territorial birds.
Teleportation is what Poppy would have picked if anyone would have asked her a week ago, for the mere fact that commuting anywhere is the bane of her entire existence, and if she thinks too hard about it or looks to much into it, it always has been. 
She associates it with sitting in the back of her dad’s Bentley as a child, a tangible, frosty silence lingering in the air between her parents after one of their many even-toned arguments disguised as discussions, the fresh pine scent making her car sick and the leather seats making the back of her thighs sticky. 
Or the fragile bones of her hand being crushed by her mother’s tight grip as they rode the Amtrak over to Manhattan, Priscilla sneering at anyone who dared step too close on the crowded carriage, Poppy being dragged throughout department stores in the name of mother-daughter bonding time, and clutching to a tiny consolation Macy’s bag housing a sparkly lip gloss like her life depended on it the whole way home. 
She thinks of all the hours of her life she’s wasted on the Palisades Parkway, no longer able to enjoy the scenic route whenever she has to drive back to her parent’s house in Alpine after having watched one too many crime shows where a broken down car leads to a girl’s face plastered all over the news.
Even driving to work can feel like hell when the traffic is bad, what should be a 30 minute drive sometimes turning into an hour, Poppy’s fingers cramping around the wheel and her feet itching to touch solid ground after too long.
Teleportation sounds perfect.
And, there’s even a romance element to it. Being whisked away to Paris in the blink of an eye, suddenly sitting outside a boulangerie, decadent, rich hot chocolate on a table in front of her and a plate full of pastries, all because she mentioned a slight craving for a pain au chocolat. 
Teleportation has always been the only correct, green-flag answer to the question. 
Until Poppy properly considered time travel, that is.
The concept of it has always been a little too much or her to handle - too many strange loopholes, too many bad examples from the sci-fi movies her brother had loved as a kid. Travelling back in time to when her parents were her age and accidentally capturing her adolescent father’s attention à la Marty McFly? Sounds like hell and horror to Poppy. 
But that was before she screwed everything up.
If she could have any superpower right now, currently weighed down with the burden of hindsight - which people have always told her is a funny thing, but she thinks is actually somewhat diabolical - she would pick time travel a thousand times over.
Because if human beings have a specific part of their brain that is dedicated to forcing them to sit and stew on their every poor decision for days on end - lets them rethink and regret everything until they’re blue in the face, and can’t think of anything other than how idiotic they have been - it should also offer the kindness of being able to go back and change what they so royally fucked up.
That’s what Poppy thinks, at least, as she throws herself down onto her bed, her back hitting the duvet in a whoosh and all she can do is stare at the ceiling and wonder how and when she became such a certified moron.
There’s a part of her that suspects it’s in her genes. Inevitable. Unavoidable. Nature and nurture, she was born and raised to be a full blown fool.
Poppy comes from a long line of privilege, and while it does take a certain element of intelligence to amass the wealth her family has, it also tends to go hand in hand with ignorance in its many forms.
Behind every fortuitous business move her father makes are a million other mistakes - failed ventures, bad investments, shoddy pieces of advice accepted from the untrustworthy snakes he surrounds himself with. Hidden beneath every rung of the social ladders her mother has managed to climb, there are the ugly faux-pas’ slipping through the cracks of a former, more unsavoury life she can never run too far from. And her brother - well, she suspects he’s just an idiot, there are no two ways about it.
She knows that she needs to stop blaming her family, though. This time, it’s all her.
She can’t blame her father for the way she overthinks, the man who makes every decision in life with the littlest regard for how anyone else feels about it. She can’t blame her mother for the way she places such little value on herself, the woman who walks into every room like she owns it and refuses to let anyone make her think otherwise.
Except maybe she can.
If she had the nerve to talk to a therapist, they might disagree - might say her overthinking comes from her dad’s lack of communication skills, a part of her brain always filling in the gaps of a half-assed, other side of any conversation with him. Or they might say her insecurities come from her mom constantly putting Poppy down while telling her to be more sure of herself - stop slouching, Poppy, no one will take you seriously with the posture of a candy cane.
She’d love to know where her need to repress her feelings so deep that she becomes an impenetrable, cold, dark fortress comes from. The need to push and shove when someone tries to get too close, because God forbid anything is ever easy when it comes to her affections.
It would have made the past 4 days since Nico had walked into her apartment and kissed the life out of her a whole lot easier. 
4 days spent reminiscing, rethinking and regretting every single thing she had said and done since their lips parted, since he had put his heart on the line and she’d whacked it away, full swing, as if too desperate for the victory of a last-bat home run.
If she could time travel, she’d do the whole thing over.
-
“Don’t go on that date, Mohn.”
She had read the words on his lips before they registered through her ears, the sound of her blood rushing throughout her body occupying every sense for a brief moment.
What the hell is going on?
Nico had kissed her. He’d grabbed her, pulled her into him, and she’s pretty sure he had made her heart stop for a good second - there’s no other justifiable reason for the way it had been reverberating against her ribcage ever since. 
And then he stood before her, a desperate, pleading projection playing in his dark irises, lips still slick from where her own had just been, cheeks flushed, shoulders rising with subtle panting breaths, waiting for a response to a question she couldn’t even remember hearing.
“W-what?” She’d stuttered, blinking hard and shaking her head as if to rattle her brain into whatever semblance of cognisance she could muster.
Nico had kissed her, and then wanted to talk? As if she had the brain power left for any kind of discussion after that?
He seemed proud of the mess he had made of her, lips lifting at one side, drawing her gaze immediately to every movement they made, so focused on the memory of how pillowy-soft they had felt against hers that she didn’t notice him stepping a little closer, raising a large hand to tuck her hair behind her ear until she flinched at the contact.
“Sunday, Poppy,” he had uttered, unfazed by her skittishness, “Your date, don’t go.”
She had blinked again, completely overwhelmed on every front. She could still taste him on her tongue, he was so close she could smell his cologne, tunnel vision only seeing him in front of her and the hand that cupped the side of her face in her peripheral, her heartbeat echoing through her skull and every nerve, every slight hair on her body, standing as if trying to close the distance between his body and hers.
It was the sensory overload that made her go against all other instincts.
“I can’t.” Her voice had sounded like it hadn’t been used in weeks, croaky and unsure, her next words stammered, “I can’t not go, I mean. I have to go.”
“You don’t have to go, Poppy,”
“No, I do.” That had sounded a little surer, the fog in her brain slowly clearing only for something more tumultuous to pass through in it’s place. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”
Nico blinked once, then again, frustration clear in the furrow of his thick brows as he seemed to stew on his next words, desperate to say the right thing. There was a prolonged, tense beat, before he had asked, “Have you ever thought we could be more?”
“More?”
“More than friends.”
If her heart hadn’t stopped when he had kissed her, it must have stopped then.
His back straight, eyes looking directly into hers, a hopeful, inquisitive gleam shining from within them - he had never seemed so sure of something for as long as she had known him.
Poppy couldn’t stop the little voice in her head questioning, where the hell has this come from?
“Have you?” She had asked with a eyre of disbelief.
 Not once in the years she had known him had he ever made it seem like they could be more. There had always been an unspeakable, undeniable barrier between them. They were friends. They’d always been friends. Just friends.
Friends who spent most of their free, personal time together, friends who bought each other sentimental gifts they’d never get for anyone else, who shared intimate details about their lives and their pasts, and kissed each others heads like a goodbye ritual. Friends who broke each other’s hearts, seemingly beyond repair, without explanation.
“I think so.”
“You think so?”
“I mean,” He had paused, breaking eye contact for a second as if wracking his brain for the right answer, sensing a teetering tension between the two of them. “Yeah. Yes. I have.”
She had narrowed her eyes at him, weighing up the possibility in her mind that she wouldn’t have liked any response he gave to her, every prospective answer causing a flood of doubt and uncertainty to crash in rushing, destructive waves through her mind. “Since when?” She’d asked, trying to level her bite.
If he’d ever thought they could be more, what the hell have they been doing all this time?
“Since I met you, I think,” he had shrugged.
Wrong answer, again.
“And you only bring it up when I have a date with someone else?”
She watched a series of antithetical emotions pass through his features, understanding, confusion, acceptance, denial, resilience, cowardice. He had seemed to find the small margins between all of them, when he had come back with, “It’s not because of your date, Poppy.”
“Then why?” She tilted her head as she continued to analyse him, again not sure what she was looking for, or what she wanted to find. That something tumultuous was already whirling within her, too late to be stopped, and Nico could seemingly see the warning signs.
“Why are you getting mad at me, right now?”
“I’m not mad,” she had denied, not even knowing if she was lying or not, “I’m confused. 2 weeks ago, we weren’t even talking, Nico-,”
“You said you forgave me for that.”
“I didn’t-.” She’d cut herself off before she could say something that would upset him, the conversation spiralling so far out of control from the momentary bliss he had provided only minutes ago - but she was too far up shit’s creek without a paddle, there was no turning back. She’d been wanting to have a proper conversation with Nico all week, what better time than the middle of the night on what was now his birthday? “That’s not exactly what I said.”
He had taken a step back, lips parting with an unreleased gasp, the once-hopeful glint in his eyes transforming into hurt. “You don’t forgive me?”
“I didn’t say that either,” she sighed, wanting answers, not to cause him anguish. “Please don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Then tell me what the hell is wrong? What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t understand where this has come from, Nico! You come in here and kiss me out of nowhere and tell me not to date other people and I’m just supposed to blindly follow along when I don’t get what the hell is happening with you!”
“I think me kissing you makes it pretty obvious what I want to happen, Mohn.” He had tried to ease the tension, his voice level and steady, stepping forward with his hands raised in an attempt to calm her, but she had taken a slight step back, clearly unaffected. 
“It doesn’t.” She’d stopped looking at him at that point, keeping an eye on his feet to watch his encroaching steps. “Nothing about you is obvious. You don’t tell me anything and all I can think about is what I did wrong.”
If he couldn’t see the tears pooling at her lashes, he had to have heard the break in her voice - a sure indicator that she was close to crying - but his steps had stopped, feet seemingly stuck to their place on the hardwood flooring of Poppy’s apartment, and she could feel her heart shatter knowing he wasn’t persisting again.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He tries to reassure her, but it’s no use.
Maybe she would have believed him if he’d held her while he said it, transferred the meaning through touch to her skin, gripping her with every word until she truly understood the weight of them.
“It had to have been something. You don’t just stop wanting to know a person for no reason, Nico, so what was it?” She made her way to her couch, perching on the edge of the seat with her knees pressed together, and looked over to where he remained standing.
She could feel her temper flaring again. 
How could he have the nerve to do this to her - to turn her world upside down in a matter of minutes - and not have the answers she needed to accept it?
“Poppy-,”
“I need to know. I can’t drop it and forget about it, and I’m sorry that I made it seem like I could, but if you want us to move on from this, if you want to come here and kiss me like that, and tell me you don’t want me seeing other people, I need to know what happened.”
“I-,” Nico sighed heavily, shoulders drooping, any confidence and bravado he had displayed after their kiss now a distant memory. “I don’t know.”
She had an immediate, striking thought, that maybe if she asked closed questions, he could give her an answer, and so, with misplaced courage, she asked, “Was it her?”
“What?”
“Your girlfriend. Did she ask you to stop talking to me?”
It was a thought that had been plaguing her for longer than she’d like to admit - unable to shake the idea that maybe Talia had seen one of the texts she had sent, had gone through Nico’s phone and seen any of their older messages, any photos he might have kept on his phone, maybe a memory had come up from snapchat, maybe someone had mentioned Poppy and her curiosity had been piqued. 
Poppy had always thought if she was dating someone, and they had a Poppy, she might feel some type of way about it. 
But her and Nico were just friends.
Nico rounded the couch, sitting on the cushion beside Poppy, their knees knocking as he reached into her lap and took her shaking hands in his.
“Do you really think I’d stop talking to you just because someone asked me to?” Their eyes had met again, sadness brewing in the dark coffee colour surrounding his dilated pupils, and a glassy film coating her own. “Poppy, I would never.”
“I don’t know what to think, Nico, because you won’t tell me.”
“Because it doesn’t make sense! I try wrapping my head around it, try coming up with some kind of explanation, but nothing I say is going to change what I did to you, Poppy.”
Her question before had gotten her an honest response, had elicited something real and undeniable within him - he’d never stop talking to her because someone asked him to. So it was his own decision, subconscious or not. Maybe she could help dig further, she thought.
“Why did you kiss me?” She asked after a beat.
“I,” Nico pondered over it before rushing his answer, a wave of emotion flashing across his face before his eyes locked on hers, ready to let her in. “Because I wanted to.”
That was a start - a simple question, a straightforward answer. 
“Was that the first time that you wanted to?”
“No.”
Poppy could feel some semblance of confidence coming back. Closed questions, concrete answers, she could keep this up.
“When was the last time you wanted to kiss me?”
She could have asked the first - she sure as hell wanted to know it, but if he’d thought of being more the entire time they’d known each other, there was a lingering possibility there were many times - and they would be there until sunrise if they started from the beginning.
“Finnegan’s.” 
“The bar?”
“We went there when we came back after we crashed out of the playoffs, do you remember?”
She remembered.
It had only been a couple of days before Nico had left for his summer back home in Switzerland.
Their loss in Carolina had been devastating, the boys came back broken and defeated, and all just wanted to drown their sorrows before they broke for their off-season. Poppy had been out with Nia and Kelsey and a few other friends at another bar when Jack had responded to her instagram story, saying they’d be at the Irish pub that was a staple within the team, and she should come over and join them.
She had made her way over pretty late, wanting to make sure her friends were okay without her, and arrived when most of the boys were completely shit-faced, past the point of tears and moping and deep into a mass state of hysteria and loud jubilation for the successes along the way.
She had found Nico in a booth in the far corner of the bar, head slumped over the back, eyes seemingly tracing the cracks in the ceiling until she crawled into the bench behind him, leaned over with her elbows resting on either side of his head, and took up his entire view. 
“What’cha doin’?” She’d asked, lips twisting at the sight of his dizzy eyes trying to correct themselves to focus on her. 
He’d quickly given up, pressing his eyes closed to shut out the risk of nausea taking over, the outer corners crinkling, the sides of his nose scrunching and his eyelashes fanning a shadow over his cheekbones - her own eyes were level with his lips, so he couldn’t really hide the way they curved at the quick glimpse of her.
“Suffering,” he had muttered, squinting one eye open to catch a brief, upside down glance of her. Nico was never this down after a few drinks. He was giggly, he was loud, he was touchy and clumsy - he was never the hide away in the corner sad type. “Wanna join me?”
“Always.” She affirmed, making her way around to his side of the booth and sliding in beside him until her bare thigh pressed against the somewhat scratchy linen of the pants he wore. 
“I’m probably not the best company tonight,” He remained in the same position, neck craning so the base of his head could rest atop the back of the seat, and his eyes closed - giving Poppy the perfect opportunity to properly look him over.
The few moments they’d had together, alone, over the past few weeks, he’d been pent up, stressed, overworked and on the brink of eruption, so this was the first time in a long time she’d managed to catch him without the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Only, that weight wasn’t so easy to shift.
She saw it in the bags under his eyes, in the unkempt playoff beard he was yet to shave off, in the stuttered way his chest rose and fell with his attempts at deep, calming breaths. 
As she watched him, the corner of her lip tucked between her teeth in contemplation, she knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel better about this. He just had to feel it out, process it in his own way without her interference - but she wanted to be there, at least.
And as much as she wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he did the best he could, and led his team through one of their strongest seasons in recent franchise history, she wanted to provide him comfort in the quiet, too.
“I don’t mind.”
And so, with little trepidation, she placed a hand on his chest, over his heart, and rested her head next to it, glancing up to see the push of a dimple forming on his cheek as his arm stretched around her and welcomed her into his warm embrace.
“You wanted to kiss me then?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “Didn’t seem like the right time, though,” he followed up with an answer to a question she hadn’t even asked, yet. “I was leaving too soon and I didn’t want you to think I’d just kissed you because I was drunk and upset.”
Her eyes moved to his lips, a question for herself whirling around in her head. Would she have wanted him to kiss her then? What would have happened in the aftermath? Where would they be now? Would she have thought that? Would she have spent her summer stewing over what it meant, and how his lips had felt against hers?
Before she had much time to think it over, Nico continued, being spurred on by such a distinct memory that he was rolling towards the answer she had been waiting for, and she wasn’t going to stop him to try and decipher her own feelings.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I went home, thinking about wanting to kiss you, or not kissing you, and what it all would mean, and I kept trying to distract myself thinking I could just figure it all out when I came back here but then I met Talia, and I felt wrong for thinking about you when I had her.”
That had made sense. Nico was always a guy that would do the right thing. If he had a girlfriend, he wouldn’t think of the prospect of something with someone else, even if that someone was Poppy, and that something was a culmination of years of pent up feelings finally coming together to form something potentially wonderful.
She didn’t quite need or want to hear the rest. Didn’t want to hear how he’d gone looking for a distraction, and found just that. 
Nico was loyal, and for him to maintain that essence of himself, he had to ignore the possibility of Poppy. Some subconscious part within him saw her as a threat to the stability he had with the perfect girl from back home, and he boxed her away to make room for what could be with Talia.
It stung, but he was right. Neither of them could change what had already happened.
“Do you think you could ever forgive me?”
She’d nodded after only a second, barely even thinking about it.
Jack’s words from New Years Eve rang through her, suck it up and move on.
Nico had his reasons, she had her answers. He wasn’t bored of her, wasn’t tired of her or annoyed by her. He’d been so caught up by his unspoken, untranslated feelings for her that he twisted himself into untangle-able knots that were only just starting to loosen up enough to be picked apart.
“Could you maybe say it?”
“Yeah, I could.” she had said through trembling lips, the hurt in his voice burrowing through her eardrums, lodging itself in her own throat, and dripping slowly but surely into the depths of her chest. “I will.” She had to be more sure, needing to erase any doubt she had planted within him. “I do.”
“You do?”
He still held her hands in his from when he had sat down, palms warm and slightly perspirant from his tight grip around her knuckles.
“I forgive you.”
His mouth twitched into a shaky smile, his eyes catching the soft light and twinkling with emotion, and she definitely wanted to kiss him, then.
She had wondered if this is what he felt when he’d kissed her before, this burning need. Her fingers twitched in his hold, her heart thudded in her chest, and her lips parted in anticipation, until she could finally slam the breaks on her torpedoing thoughts.
“It’s just a lot to process, and I don’t really know how I feel.”
She had wished she could take it back as soon as the words left her mouth, and Nico’s features had folded as he took them in. He broke eye contact almost immediately, head dropping to look down at their hands until he released hers back into her lap. 
“I get it.” He uttered, forcing a smile as he glanced back up at her, briefly. “I sprung this on you out of nowhere, I’m s-,”
“Please don’t apologise,” she interrupted before he could go there, knowing it would send her brain into overdrive if he let even the thought of regret fester between them, “I’m glad you did. I don’t want you to be sorry about it.”
Relief washed over the both of them in a warm, steady stream as he nodded, leaning into the back of the couch, legs spreading as an elongated sigh wracked through his torso. 
He ran a hand through his hair, and Poppy’s eyes flickered to the flex of his fingers, the strain of his wrist, the flash of protruding veins where his sleeve had pulled up with the stretch of his movements. 
His eyes closed, and she took him in just like she had that night in Finnegan’s bar.
She’d had an urge then, a desire even, to provide comfort - to share his burdens, make him forget the pain he had just endured, wash it all away with encouraging words, gentle touches. A shoulder to cry on, two ears to listen, and, albeit she didn’t entirely know it at the time, a whole heart that was his for the taking.
And take it, he did, held it all summer, bent it all sorts of ways out of shape up until New Years Eve, and it was still in his hands. Smushed, dented, squeezed to within an inch of his life, her heart was his.
It was up to her now to figure out what she wanted him to do with it. 
“I made a promise to my mom about the date, Nico, I have to go.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, seemingly resigned to the fact he had maybe been a little too lost in the moment to make such a crazy demand of her. 
“And I think maybe we both need a little time to properly think about what is happening here.”
“Time?” He practically shot up, alarm in his eyes.
“We’ve barely been apart all week, Nico, I think that might be why we’re both so,” she struggled for the right word - pent up, emotional, strung out, “Intense.”
She had known she was emotional, overthinking to the point of ruin, but maybe he was too. Maybe that’s what had led to the kiss, to the outburst of sentiment. They were both in the depths of a pressure cooker of emotions, and some space might do them good to gain a little clarity.
Maybe with a little more time to think on it, to consider what he was admitting to, have a little breathing room, and act more on something concrete than a fleeting in-the-moment feeling, he might change his mind. He deserved the opportunity to do so, she wouldn’t hold it against him.
“How much time do you think you would need?”
“I’m driving up to my parent’s house on Friday, so I would have been away for most of the weekend anyway, maybe we check back in on Monday and see where our heads are at?”
“4 days,” he muttered as if he’d just counted them in his head. “I can do that.”
“Yeah?” He had nodded in response, and there was something like hope that lingered between them, sharing small smiles and gazing through glassy eyes. “You’ll be so busy you won’t even get the chance to miss me.”
She believed it to be true - Nico had his family over, would be spending the latter end of the day with them, and had 2 big home games in a row to worry about. Poppy would be the last thing on his mind.
If she had blinked in the moment, she might have missed the way his observation slipped to her lips, lingered there for a brief second, and glanced back up to flicker between her eyes again. “Not possible.”
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“Poppy, have you suffered some kind of brain injury I don’t know about?” Nia’s voice rings through the speaker of the phone pressed to her ear, already supposedly-styled hair fanned out around her as she lays staring at the ceiling, willing herself to get up and go before she’s late.
No matter how much she doesn’t want to go on this date, her mother will kill her if she hears anything other than a glowing review. On time, preened to perfection, polite and sociable. 
“Maybe I hit my head in my sleep at some point,” she thinks out loud, glancing back to the sharp edges of her bedside table and wondering if she could have thudded into it in the night.
Surely she would have a scar or a bruise.
“You must have,” Nia agrees, “That’s the only logical explanation why you’d ever consider telling the guy you’ve been hung up on since you first met him that you need time to think about how you feel,”
“Ni,” Poppy groans, “I called you for advice, not a lecture.”
“If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, and you my friend, are a dumbass.”
“In my defence-,”
“Nope!” Poppy doesn’t know what Nia is doing on the other end, but she hears something clatter as if being slammed down on a table in protest, “There is no defence, you’re an idiot.”
“I didn’t know how I felt about it, Ni,” Poppy sighs, sitting up and catching sight of herself in the mirror. She doesn’t know why so much of her time tonight has been wasted trying to look so good when she doesn’t even want to. When she’d gone to visit her parents, her mother had practically given her a full blown rundown of the guy she was meeting.
Tucker Lyon, she can’t help to instinctively roll her eyes at just his name, works in investment grade finance for one of the Big 4 - she hadn’t cared enough to ask which one. His family are property people, her mom had said, and own enough Manhattan real estate to hold some serious power. Priscilla had met his mother years ago at some luncheon in the city, and apparently the two had been in cahoots since then to set their children up.
Poppy doesn’t want to be set up with some walking red flag, biting her tongue over a plate of food too small to satisfy her hunger while he mansplains stocks and shares to her.
She wants to be in whatever bar the guys are holed up in, tucked under Nico’s arm, side practically glued to his, sipping cocktails and celebrating him like he deserves to be celebrated.
But instead, she can admit, she has been a royal idiot.
“I still don’t know, it’s all come at me full force and I don’t understand my feelings.”
“Bullshit!” Nia scoffs, “You knew you were into him the second he first flashed those dimples your way.”
She isn’t entirely wrong.
Poppy had once harboured a slight crush on him. In the very early stages of their friendship. One small enough that when she realised it was completely one-sided - and she was being delusional to ever think his cute nickname for her and his insistence on spending time only with her was anything more than his attempt to make a friend - she could swallow it down until it was barely anything.
She trained her heart not to stutter when he approached her, told her brain to shut up when he flashed her one of those perfect, all consuming smiles, and could cross her arms to restrain her hands from wanting to hold his whenever they walked side by side.
She’d become so good at suppressing her feelings, she’d forgotten she had them.
She had forgotten all the times they had hung out alone over the years, never second guessing all the looks and the touches, the times he’d let her stay over if it got too late to go home alone, and the times he’d waltz into hers like he owned the place.
She’d forgotten when she had seen him with Talia, always claiming the feeling in her gut was one of loss and reminiscence, not envy and bitterness.
She’d forgotten when the Hughes brothers had helped her move a couple months ago, and Luke had questioned the amount of Nico he was helping to scatter throughout her apartment. Pictures on her bookshelf, pictures stuck to her fridge with souvenir magnets from Swiss gift shops, a couple hoodies, Devils branded shorts and big t-shirts of his he’d come across in the boxes. 
“I didn’t realise you and Cap were so close,” Luke had picked a frame out of one of the boxes, the picture of Nico and Poppy at the Halloween party inside, and waved it in her direction as she stood with her hands on her hips, figuring out if she wanted to alphabetise or colour code the books she was displaying. 
“Huh?” Poppy tilted her head towards the tall boy, watching as he shook his curls back into place and ran a hand through them. He’d worked up a bit of a sweat lugging her boxes upstairs, and now that everything was finally moved, Jack had gone to get them food, and Poppy and Luke were getting started on unpacking the easy stuff. She looked to the picture in hand, reaching over and taking it to get a closer look. “I guess we were, I don’t really know.” She wasn't a good enough actress to properly pull off the nonchalance she was aiming for.
“You don’t know?” Luke scoffed, rifling through other pictures in the box - all framed, mostly of her and Nico, some just the two of them, some of them in groups, but always side by side. Always grinning ear to ear. “You’ve got like a shrine in here, PJ,”
“It’s not a shrine,” she had argued, “You don’t keep pictures of your friends? Sounds kind of cold, if you ask me, Moosey.”
“I keep pictures on instagram and my phone like a normal person.” He chuckled.
“Generational gap, you kids are done for when the cloud goes down, you know. Physical media is forever.”
“You sound like my mom.” Luke jibed, and true to his nature, unable to stop himself before he inadvertently crossed a line, he asked with a weird wiggle of his eyebrows, “So, you wanna keep Nico forever, huh?”
“Shut up, Luke.” If Poppy had something soft enough, she would have thrown it at his head. The photo frame in hand seemed like overkill, and she didn’t want to hurt the kid, just make him stop. She didn’t much like talking about him, what they once had, what they once were. Even if he did have the wrong impression of what they were. It was upsetting, and she didn’t want to get upset - not in front of Luke. “You can keep those in the box.”
Luke had reached out for the frame in Poppy’s grasp, had watched as she hesitated giving it back, as she looked down and took in the huge smiles on her and Nico’s faces, and as she made the decision not to put this one back. Maybe she could phase it out, wait until she took a nicer, more meaningful picture with someone else before she replaced that one.
“I’ll keep this one out. I look cute.”
"Sure." His sarcasm was not entirely appreciated.
She had heard him chuckle to himself as she stood the frame on one of the shelves, placing it between a scented candle she had no intention of ever lighting and a small faux lavender plant. Not shrine-like at all.
She’d forgotten about any suppressed feelings until Nico kissed her.
Until he opened up Pandora’s box, releasing all her pent up emotions to roam freely, creating chaos and causing havoc through every corner of her entire existence. 
For the past 3 days, she’s thought about him with everything she has done. 
On Thursday afternoon, sat alone in her office, going over emails and wondering what he would be up to with his family. Was he happy, were they having fun, did he think about her for a second?
On Friday evening, driving alone on the long winding roads to her parent’s house and listening to the commentary for the game on the radio. Making it to the house in time for the 3rd period, and seeing the team celebrate. Was he well rested, excited for his family to watch him play at home, did he look up into the staff suite at the Rock and wish she was there cheering him on?
On Saturday, retreating to her childhood bedroom after another tense family dinner, snuggling up with the dogs on her bed as she watched the game. Was he beating himself up, had he gone straight home on his own after the loss, did he have the same urge to call her as much as she wanted to call him?
Did he, on any of those nights, lay awake thinking about that kiss?
About how right it had felt? How he had exerted his subtle dominance over her with such ease, large hands encompassing her face and holding her to his lips like his life depended on it?
Did he think about where it could have gone if she hadn’t shut him down? Where they could be if he’d made a move before?
She’s been thinking about it. Non-stop thinking about it.
Thinking about that kiss, and the possibility of others - the moment in the bar, all the other potential moments he had wanted to kiss her and hadn’t. The fact that maybe her feelings had never been one sided, and she’s wasted years pushing them down for nothing.
“Do you think I made a mistake not cancelling this date?” She asks her friend in a moment of vulnerability, her mind reeling with the possibility that she has already fucked up what could be.
“No.” Nia assures her, surprisingly. She’s been calling her an idiot all night, what does she mean, ‘no’? “I think he needs to sweat a little, let him think about you out tonight with another guy, and come tomorrow, his mind will be made up.”
“You don’t think we might be overestimating how much it bothers him?”
“Don’t make me call you a dumbass again, Pop.” Poppy can hear the rolling of her best friend’s eyes through the phone. “And send me a picture of your outfit before you leave.”
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Nico
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Nico has never been so physically uncomfortable in his life.
For a man who plays contact sport for a living - has played it for a good chunk of his existence, and has suffered countless knocks and injuries, slept in one too many uncomfortable positions in planes, buses, trains and even hotel beds, and who’s face has had more than enough encounters with the wrong end of a pair of skates - that is saying a lot.
But every inch of him, every fibre of his entire being, feels irritated in some way.
It’s a feeling like unforeseen static shocks passing over every surface of his skin. Like little bugs crawling all over him and he can’t swat them away. Like random strands of fine hairs that can’t be seen by the naked eye but God, can he feel them. He feels them everywhere.
From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, he feels something prickling, stinging, burning. 
Itchy.
Like a scratch he can’t reach in the very middle of his back.
And it’s not like he doesn’t know what it is.
He’s felt it ever since he left Poppy’s apartment in the early hours of Thursday morning. He had hardly slept, getting maybe 3 or 4 hours in before his alarm shrilled from where it charged on his nightstand. 
He has tried to use the same coping mechanisms that get him through his bouts of homesickness - where he closes his eyes and tries to provoke a memory for each sense.
He pictures the views from one of his many hikes, endless fields of green grass, crystal clear lakes, winding footpaths and mountains that stretch as far as the eye can see. He imagines gathering around a fondue table back in his favourite restaurant, and can smell the freshly baked bread, can taste the melt-in-the-mouth flavour once it’s been dipped in oozing, melted cheese. He can feel the softness of the freshly washed sheets back in his childhood bedroom and can hear the chorused chirps of the birds outside his window in the early mornings. 
It’s a technique that has helped ground him in the past, and he had thought that maybe if he applies the same logic, it will dull the ache in his fingertips that yearn to reach for his phone and text the girl who has asked him for space.
If he thinks hard enough, he can still taste the sweet but subtle vanilla of Poppy’s lip balm. He can smell the fresh-cotton essence of her laundry detergent, can hear the melodic sounds she had hummed into his lips, can feel the softness of her skin on the pads of his fingers, can see, clear as day, the dazed expression etched into her features like she had gotten caught up in the fantasy too.
If it wasn’t so easy for him to mentally transport himself back, he wouldn’t have been able to make it 4 days without seeing her. 
He had known it would be hard, but, thankfully, he thinks he got himself enough of a fix to make it to Monday.
He’d taken all he could with just one press of his lips to hers, had taken more of Poppy than he had ever dared to take before, and his subconscious was clinging onto it for dear life, hoping with everything in him she could decide to give him more.
4 days.
He has never known time to be so cruel. For it to drag out every minute like it was an hour.
If his life had a remote control, best believe he would be jamming the hell out of the fast forward button. 4x speed, skip to the next chapter, not wanting or needing to know what happened in the in-between.
He’s always thought himself to have patience - good things come to those who wait, after all - but this had become the ultimate test.
He had tried to immerse himself in whatever was going on each day, hoping they would pass quicker, less painfully, but it had been no use.
His birthday had passed by in a dizzying blur. He’d had a late morning skate, had come home to his family waiting for him, had gone to dinner with them, caught up over Italian food in one of his favourite spots by his apartment, and had driven his parents, his sister and her boyfriend back to their hotel with the promise of dedicating some time to them before the game on Friday.
Every single thing had reminded him of her.
Being at the Rock and wondering where in the building she might be, and if she was reminded of him with the littlest things. If she was thinking about him, what she was thinking about him. Seeing his family, imagining her place at the table as they all exchanged laughter and stories over pasta and wine. Thinking about what she might contribute to the conversation, how she would get along with his sister, how they’d gang up on him and poke fun, but she’d hold his hand under the table and squeeze to let him know it was all in good humour.
In the locker room after the win against the Blackhawks, trying his best to get involved in the celebrations but just wanting to call her, to hear that she had watched, and was proud of him and the team. And even after the loss against the Canucks, he wanted to hear the same. He wanted to go straight to her place, the passenger seat of his car painfully empty as he drove himself home in complete silence. 
And he had tried his best not to get too into his head about the whole space thing.
Poppy was right, after all. Things had gotten intense.
He had been intense - marching over to her place and kissing her out of nowhere. As right as it had felt, it was stupid. It was hotheaded and impulsive and it wasn’t considerate of her feelings.
But, God, he was so caught up on her he couldn’t help himself. He should have seen in the days they had spent together prior that they needed to speak more about everything before he threw himself at her like a neanderthal. 
He’d only considered what conclusion he had reached, and as much as his conversation with the guys on the plane gave him an idea of Poppy’s mindset, some words needed to be exchanged before he planted one straight on her. The whole thing could have gone so much better if he just knew how to communicate everything with her properly.
Even before the kiss. Before New Years, before Talia, before Summer - if he knew how to speak about his developing feelings for her, this whole mess could have been avoided.
He wouldn’t be sat alone in a bar, yet again, as his friends surround him, partaking in the celebrations that are supposed to revolve around him, wallowing in self pity.
He wouldn’t be thinking about Poppy, out in some fancy restaurant somewhere else in the city, with some stick-up-his-ass loser who doesn’t deserve a second of her time, and imagining her giving him one of those earth shattering smiles - the one where her the outside of her eyes crinkle in the corners, and every time he sees it he imagines the lines settling there as she ages, and it’s always a version of the two of them, old and grey, side by side, smiling together.
He imagines her taking him back to her apartment, curling up with him on the couch Nico helped her haul up the stairs after she had found it for crazy cheap off of some sketchy ad on Facebook marketplace. He sees her slowly replacing all those pictures she has of her and Nico with pictures of her and him, phasing him out of her space like she would eventually phase him out of his life.
He thinks about her taking him to her bedroom - the one he had yet to see in her new apartment, but imagines it’s just like her old one; way too many pillows and throws, a thick, plush duvet that looks like she’s climbing into a cloud, and a beat up stuffed toy her grandmother had given her when she was young. 
He doesn’t want to wish that Poppy is currently welcoming someone into her life that doesn’t suit her, but he can’t help himself.
He hopes this guy is late - and doesn’t even apologise for it. He hopes he orders off the menu for her, or criticises her choice of wine for not pairing with her choice of food like a complete snob. He hopes he’s awful to wait-staff. He hopes he’s type of guy who writes a suggestion on the tip line of his receipt instead of leaving a minimum of 20%. He hopes he chews with his mouth open, spits when he talks and scrapes his knife along the ceramic of his plate as he cuts his food, causing that toe curling sound that makes Poppy want to scream.
He hopes he doesn’t offer her his jacket, because she always refuses to take one out. He hopes he doesn’t think to give her a piggy back, because she always wears shoes out she knows she doesn’t want to walk in, but always wants to walk home if it’s nice out. He hopes he walks on the inside of the sidewalk, leaving her to the dangers of walking roadside, and walks too quick for her to keep up with little regard for how she likes to take her time on a night and stretch the evening out. 
He even hopes he smokes. Poppy hates smokers. And if, God forbid, they kiss, he’ll have smoker’s breath, and she won’t want to do it again. 
She won’t stand in front of him, eyes glazed over, lashes fluttering, brows furrowing, lips still pouting and fingers twitching to reach back out, yearning for more.
She won’t even kiss him back.
Not like she had kissed Nico. Not like she had clutched at his shirt like she wanted to hold him close to her forever. He wouldn’t get to hear that sweet, subdued sound she had made when his tongue had swiped tentatively at hers, or feel that slight pressure of when her lips had closed around it, sucking almost at the muscle before opening back up to allow for more of a taste.
No one else can get that.
No one else will savour it like Nico has, thinking about is for days on end, replaying the moment over and over until he has perfect recall of every small detail.
It’s probably a good thing she hasn’t shared much detail about this date, Nico thinks as he swirls the ice around his empty drink, sat right at the bar away from the sectioned-off area that Timo had rented out for the party.
If he knew more about it - about the who, about the where - he probably would be in a cab by now, knowing he was crossing a line but unable to do anything about it, his will outweighing any common courtesy just as it had a few nights ago. Or he would have spent the last few days in a google deep-dive, trying to figure out the kind of man her mother would approve of. Enough to set her up, at least - he doubts Priscilla Jensen entirely approves of anyone.
Nico finally makes eye contact with the bartender, and as she starts to make her way over, he feels like a divine intervention occurs - an arm falling onto the bar top beside his, a glimmer of metal flashing into his dark eyes - the reflection bouncing from a bracelet that is welded around the base of a slender hand.
“I’ll take another of these,” he lifts his glass when the bartender arrives, gesturing to the old fashioned he’d somehow landed on over beer tonight, “And whatever she’s having, please.”
 “Vodka diet coke, please,” a voice rings out from beside him, and once the bartender busies herself with the order, she asks, “Shouldn’t I be the one getting you a drink? I heard it’s your birthday,”
“Why should either of us pay when it’s going on a tab?” He chuckles, angling his body better to face her. 
“Ooh la-la, a tab,” Nia mocks, “Now I feel like I’m a part of an elite club!”
“I find it hard to believe you’ve never had your drinks put on someone else’s tab before.”
“Not the New Jersey Devils captain himself, it’s such an honour!” She raises a manicured hand and presses it to her chest, a playful smile etched into her features. 
“Did you come over here just to poke fun at me?” Nico asks, touching on the dynamic that has long been between the two of them. She mocks him, mostly all bark and no bite, he takes it on the chest, knowing she’s doing it from of her warped version of almost sibling-like love, and Poppy usually acts as the mostly-unnecessary mediator, dividing her attention between them both. 
“Of course I did,” she affirms, “You looked all mopey and miserable, how could I not?”
“How is me waiting for a drink ‘mopey’?”
“Uh, let me think,” she taps her finger to her chin, before lifting it to point at each feature she references, “The huge pout on your lips, your giant caterpillar eyebrows all slanted and frowny-,”
“Forget I asked,” he mutters, lifting his lips into a quick smile and thanking the girl behind the bar as she brings them their drinks. “Didn’t know you’d be out tonight,”
“I’ll be sure to send you an e-vite to my google calendar when I get home later.”
Nico’s throat tightens slightly at how similar Nia and Poppy are - always quick with a response, most of the time sarcastic, most of the time able to elicit a genuine laugh to rumble from the depths of his chest. “I see why you and Poppy are so close.”
“Hm,” she hums, making a show of checking her phone, “You barely made it two minutes, but it could be a new record.”
“A new record?”
“For how long you can go in conversation without mentioning her.”
“She’s your best friend, the one person we have in common, it’s normal for me to bring her up, Nia.” He reaches for his drink to take a gulp, hoping the ice might make his throat feel a little better.
He doesn’t even know why he’s denying his lack of willpower when it comes to Poppy - 2 minutes actually seems like quite the achievement when he thinks about how long he’s restrained himself from reaching out over the past 4 days. Nia approaching him like this has been the perfect excuse to think about her - to talk about her without feeling like he’s overstepping or assuming.
He could use this to his advantage.
“Is she a good kisser?”
Or not.
He chokes on his drink, thankful the liquid isn’t coming out of his nose with how much he hadn’t been expecting that question.
“She looks like she would be. I’ve always thought about it but there’s never been a right time to try it out. Maybe I should take a leaf outta your book and lay it on thick and fast when she least expects it.”
How he even thought he could gain advantage in this conversation is beyond belief. He’s out of his depth with Nia, as usual. She isn’t afraid to call him out - she never has been - and she’s the one person in the world Poppy would confide in. Of course she knows about the kiss.
“Is that what she said, I laid it on thick and fast,”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, lover boy.” She chuckles, picking up her cocktail and stepping away from him, “Thanks for the drink, Nico, try to enjoy the rest of your birthday party.”
“Wait!” He reaches out to stop her, not wanting to let a golden opportunity slip from his hands so easily. “You would have bought me a drink before, for my birthday?”
“I think you earn about 5 times my annual salary in a month, so probably not.”
“How about you answer a question for me?” He proposes, “As a gift.”
“I could,” she sighs, sitting down in the stool beside him, “But I heard you get touchy after gifts.”
He immediately regrets asking, but not enough to let her go. He’s come this far, and he has 4 days worth of questions he desperately needs answers to.
“Funny,” he gives a condescending smile, which clearly pleases her as she gives a genuine one back, lifting her spare hand to gesture for him to carry on. As if it’s that easy to narrow down all the things he wants to ask her.
One question. 
What did she say about the kiss? Did she like it? Would she do it again?
What did she say about him? About how she feels? About what she wants?
Where is she right now? What did she tell Nia about the date? About the who?
“The guy she’s out with,” he can’t even bring himself to say the D word, “Is he nice?”
The look she gives him is almost pitiful. In fact, there is no almost about it. She clearly thinks he’s pathetic, but it’s too late to retract the question now that it’s out there.
“I don’t think so.”
He doesn’t like the way his stomach turns at her answer.
He had wanted this, right? For him to be a gratuity-withholding, uncouth slob with bad breath. 
But the thought of her being out with someone that has the potential to hurt her, hurts him. His chest feels tight, his head feels muddled, and that everlasting itch returns to the tips of his fingers - the weight of his cellphone becoming that much heavier in his back pocket.
“I mean,” she carries on with a shrug and reaches for her own phone, “He was a no-show, so we’ll never actually know for sure.” She swipes at her phone until she brings up her message thread with Poppy, turning up the brightness to show Nico the picture she had asked her to send earlier. 
It’s a selfie taken in the overly tall mirror she had once made him pick up from Ikea, claiming it wouldn’t fit in her car and his was much bigger, and he doesn’t know why his first instinct is to scan the background just to confirm his earlier intuitions about her bedroom. Too many pillows, cloud-like duvet. He can’t see the stuffed toy, but he assumes it’s somewhere in there.
Poppy looks unbelievable. 
Her dress is short, like the one she had worn on New Years, fits snug around her waist and emphasises her curves in all the best ways. Her legs seem to go on for miles, adorned in knee high boots no doubt to provide some semblance of warmth. Her hair is pulled back, and she wears gold jewellery - rings, some small hoop earrings, and he’s only just able to stop his fingers reaching out to pinch at the screen because he can see the gemstone bracelet without the need to zoom in.
“Can’t be that nice if you’re standing up a girl that gorgeous, huh?” Nia asks, suggestively, leaning her chin into the palm of her spare hand as she looks up at Nico. “Some guys just don’t know how good they’ve got it.”
He figures he actually should be embarrassed about the relief that floods through him - washes over his entire demeanour, expression changing from defeated to victorious in a matter of mere seconds.
The crease that seems to have permanently formed between his brows smooths out, posture corrects itself, and his lips even almost turn up into a smile.
There’s a childish, territorial voice within him that wants to exclaim, Thank God! But he’s grateful that he’s able to mute it.
And, despite being privy to Nia’s games - despite knowing exactly what trap he is being lured into, what he’s about to fall for - he can’t help but suggest, “You should tell her to come out.” Because, despite knowing he had taken the bait, he can’t find it within himself to care. “I think I asked her one too many times to ask again.”
The one thing he had twisted himself into knots over since first hearing her utter the word date, hadn’t actually come to fruition.
There is no date. There is no uncouth slob.
There is Poppy, dressed as pretty as she is, practically waiting for someone to show her a good time. 
He can do that. He wants to do it - to be the someone that’s good to her.
“Oh, should I?” Nia asks, a knowing smirk causing her lips to twitch mischievously. She’s been playing him this whole time, and once again, he doesn’t care. “I don’t know, she seems resigned to spending the evening on her couch watching New Girl,” she sighs dramatically, clearly looking for incentive - once again, reminding him too much of the girl he longs for. “I don’t know if there’s much convincing to be done.”
“I’ll add you to the tab for the night.”
Rookie mistake, offering something up so quick.
“Is that all my efforts are worth to you, Nico, a few measly drinks?”
“What do you want?”
“I’m actually out with a client tonight,” she looks back somewhere toward the other side of the bar, Nico can’t even bring himself to follow her gaze. “Been trying to sign them to my agency for a while, and if I can fix this deal, I’m up for a promotion.”
“Nia,” he warns, not liking how long this story is becoming. Forget good things come to those who wait. He’s waited long enough. “What do you want?”
“They’re big Devils fans, I think a night with the team could really open them up to the benefits of working with me.”
“Bring them into our section.”
“And maybe some tickets, too.”
“Fine.”
Nia gives him a triumphant smile, “Great, I’ll let them know.” She salutes him as she stands back up, gathering her drink and phone between the fingers of one hand before backing away. “Nice doing business with you, Captain.”
“Aren’t you gonna text her?”
“Oh, Nico,” she jeers, using her free hand to grasp him by the chin. “Dear, sweet, naive Nico,” she gives his head a subtle shake before patting at his shoulder condescendingly, “She’s already on her way.”
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If anyone asks, Nico isn’t admitting to keeping an eye on the door since Nia had made her way back over to her side of the bar, but he knows as soon as Poppy has arrived. He watches her make her way over to her friend, watches the two of them embrace and talk between themselves for a good minute. He watches and waits until her eyes meet his from across the crowded room, and it’s like everything else stops.
He’d somehow managed to immerse himself in the party spirit since he had found out she was coming, fitting back into the group, toasting along with them, engaging in conversations with his teammates, his mood vastly improved in comparison to earlier in the night - of which he’s sure Timo is relieved after his short-lived exile from Nico’s good graces — but everything fades to black when he sees her lips curve upwards from afar.
Someone is talking beside him - hopefully not to him, he thinks, he doesn’t remember being mid-discussion with anyone - but it’s just drowned out mumbling right now, and all he can do is tilt his head toward the doors that lead to the bathrooms, and wait for her to respond. When she nods and separates herself from Nia, he excuses himself from the group, edging out of their section and following her path, losing her a little in the thick crowd of people - the bar still packed from where they had played the Giants game earlier.
When he gets through the doors, he’s thankful no one else is lingering back there - no rowdy queue for the bathroom, no staff, no one but him and the girl who seems to be holding his heart like a hot potato, not knowing the best way to carry it without getting burned.
“Hi.” It’s a weak starter for a heavy conversation, but if he’s honest with himself, she’s taken his breath away.
The picture from before hadn’t done her justice. She’s a little worn into her look for the evening now, hair not so neat, skin a little shiny, lipstick faded - but this is exactly how he likes her, especially when he takes in the way her eyes gleam and her cheeks puff out with her smile.
He makes a conscious effort not to let his eyes drift directly to the smile - to her lips, which even the thought of them elicits such a vivid memory.
“Surprise!” she sings quietly, arms outstretched and hands shaking theatrically.
He steps toward her with his hands behind his back, fingers clasped together until he’s confident that his knuckles turn white, fighting the urge to curl his arm around her waist and pull her into him, needing to be closer. He watches intently as her eyes flick down to where his hands should be.
She backs into the wall behind her, not to escape his approach, but more to prepare herself for it - like she’s settling in and embracing it.
She isn’t running. She isn’t pushing.
She’s waiting.
“I’ve missed you.” Nico wastes no time in telling her the truth - telling her what she’s refused to believe every other time he’s said it, but he can tell with the tilting of her head and the rounding of her eyes that understanding has settled within her. She has no comeback, no it’s only been a few days, and he thinks she must have felt the drag of them in the same way.
“I’ve missed you, too.” 
Whatever anxiety has rooted itself deep inside him for the past 4 days dissipates almost immediately. 
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He admits, without shame or reluctance. After Poppy had helped him overcome whatever had been censoring him before, there is no point now in holding back or beating around the bush. “You look so good, Mohn.”
A rush of confidence allows for him to close the gap, standing right before her as she leans against the wall, neck craning ever so slightly to look up at him. He still won’t touch, hands laying against the stone at either side of her hips, not daring yet to let even a sliver of his finger graze at her flesh.
“You look good, too.” She breathes, eyes glancing down to do an appreciative once over of his outfit, and he doesn’t miss the glint of pride cross through her eyes when she catches the glimpse of the gold that peaks out from the neck of his sweatshirt. 
“I’m sorry about your date.”
“Are you?” Her lips twist into a knowing smile. It’s an example of one of her many traits that he loves - she can detect his bullshit a mile off.
“Mmhm,” he nods, “I’m sorry a world exists where any man is stupid enough to stand you up, Poppy.”
“I’m the stupid one,” she argues, and he misses her gaze as soon as she takes it away, eyes darting to the floor in embarrassment. “I should have listened to you and cancelled in the first place.”
“I was stupid to ask that.”
“Maybe we’re both stupid.”
“Definitely.” He probably shouldn’t be agreeing to her calling herself stupid, but it comes out before he can think too much on it. They’ve both wasted too much time. 
“Did you have a good birthday?” She asks, and a slight movement between them catches his eye, her fingers twisting together as if she’s withholding her touch, too.
“It’s better now.” He smiles fondly as she rolls her eyes. 
“How are your family?”
“They’re good.” He doesn’t want to go into too much detail about how shamefully miserable he has been over the past few days - doesn’t want to tell her how his mom had called him out on his lack of contribution to conversations, and he’d managed to pin it on the stress of the season. She still raises a brow at his insufficient answer, and he expands before she can tell him off. “Everyone but Luca made it out, my sister had to go back already for work, but my parents booked a trip to Halifax to visit the Phillips’, I lived with them when I played up there, they have a few friends to visit in Canada but they’ll drop back to see me again before they fly home.”
He feels the tickle of soft fingertips at the inside of his arm, slowly grazing down as he speaks, and as he watches Poppy, he thinks she must not realise she’s doing it - letting intuition take over as she’s distracted by the conversation. He lets her take the lead on initiating any touching, and it takes all the restraint he has left not to barge through the door she’s attempting to slowly eke open. She’s the only person in the world who could make him audibly hear the metaphorical creaking.
“Did they get to watch you win?”
He doesn’t even know why he finds himself grinning at the question, but the tone in which she asks it bears a hint of pride. She had watched the game on Friday.
“My dad was pretty much in the stands in full gear, everything but the pads and skates, and my mom was repping Foundation merch, she’s run off across the border with my beanie.” He likes the way her face lights up.
“I’ll get you another.” She raises her other hand to card her fingers through his hair, and, for once, he’s thankful not to be wearing any sort of hat. The soft scratch of her nails is soothing, and he just about manages to stop himself leaning into her touch and purring like a cat.
That would be embarrassing.
He feels outnumbered, both of her hands on him, and it feels unfair not to be touching her - so when his thumb extends itself on the wall just beside her hip and strokes at the soft fabric of her dress until it’s softly digging in, he watches intently for any hesitation before he lays a palm flat against her side.
It feels like things are progressing both torturously slow and overwhelmingly fast at the same time. His heart feels like it’s slamming into either side of his ribcage, and like nothing else occupies his chest, the sound of it echoing as if banging on the walls of a deep, empty cavern.
“Did I already tell you how much I missed you?” He honestly can’t remember, but he’ll tell her again if he needs to.
The hand that had run through his hair rests now on the side of his head, her thumb swiping softly at his cheek as she cups the side of his face, and before he can even make sense of what is happening, he’s being pulled forward. 
He bends to her advances with quick reflexes to avoid clashing, and their noses bump just before their lips meet.
Her chest rolls forward until it presses into his, and both his hands grab at her sides to pull her flush against him, legs tangling, hips pushing together, bodies touching everywhere possible all the way up to their mouths. 
He gives her all the control otherwise, allows her to determine the pace, responding to her every move and every touch with fervour and heat. She pulls at him, one hand grasping at his sweatshirt and the other cradling the side of his neck, and he quickly lifts one to stifle the blow to her head as she collides back with the wall, barely noticing the pain where his knuckles meet the stone.
Their tongues press together at the same time, and Nico doesn’t even realise his lack of patience got the better of him until their battle for dominance kicks off between their lips.
He can taste the same vanilla lip balm, can smell her signature coconut scent, can hear soft, subtle moans, can only see the back of his eyelids, not daring to open them, just wanting to feel. And he can feel everything. 
He feels the softness of her hair beneath the hand that is protecting her head from the discomfort of resting against the hard surface behind her, can feel the skirt of her dress bunching up in his grip, can feel her touch, fingertips dancing at the the base of his skull, thumb pressing into his jaw, her other hand making that same grabby gesture at the thick fabric covering his torso, squished between his heart and her chest, and he thinks he can feel the thump of her own heart on the other side.
He can feel her thigh pressed between his, the friction causing a heat to build deep in the pit of his stomach, swirling and whirling down, down, down until it culminates into the hard press of his hips into hers, and a rushed gasp combined with a guttural groan causes their lips to part.
They take deep breaths in unison, their chests bumping with every inhale, and he tries otherwise not to move.
He opens his eyes to find hers still closed, scrunched shut, even, and he tries not to be selfish - ignores the need to get a good look at her, to have this version of her ingrained to his memory too - and attempts to coax her back to him.
“Poppy,” he sounds just about as breathless as he feels. “Are you good?”
She hums in response, a subtle nod given, but he needs to hear her say it, and he tells her as much with a quick squeeze to her hip. Her eyes flutter open, gleaming and bright, framed by thick lashes and crinkling slightly at the outer corners as her lips turn up into a mischievous grin. “Better now.”
His chest feels like it’s about to burst open, like there’s a bear within him that is going to break out and pull her into its clutches, dragging her back safe to her home in his heart.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks, because he has to - he doesn’t care if it’s rude to leave his own birthday party, doesn’t care that he’s been the most ungrateful person in the world all night.
He’ll make it up to Timo, get him something big the next birthday of his that rolls around. Throw him a party. Or he’ll take care of the tab the next time they’re out. Maybe even let him have the window seat the next time they’re on the same plane home. 
Except, he won’t be doing any of that. He’ll be taking the reins on booking flights and putting Timo straight into economy, smack-bang in the middle of a row surrounded by a family of 5, screaming kids, arguing parents, the back of his seat being kicked the whole 8 hours to Zurich.
Because, just as Poppy’s swollen lips part to accept his advances - as her chin lifts, about to drop with a big affirmative nod, and he’s about to get everything he’s wanted the past 4 days and beyond - the doors to the back swing open, and his 6 foot teammate stumbles through, arms outstretched as he notices the two of them practically intertwined.
“Here you are!” He exclaims, voice booming in comparison to the soft breathy tones he and Poppy had been previously speaking in. “Poppy, you made it!”
“Hi Timo,” Nico feels her retreat, feels her legs brush past his and back to her own space, her hand on his chest now the only part of her that touches him, and he follows her lead, taking his hands back and trying not to clench his jaw or his fists as she converses with the man who was once his friend. “How are you doing?”
“I’m alright, should be back on the ice in a couple weeks.” Timo had suffered an injury in one of their games at the back end of December, and hasn’t been fit to travel, and Nico finds an unspeakably bitter part of himself wishing it was something to do with Timo’s legs that were injured so he couldn’t have interrupted their moment. “Glad you’re here, this one has been miserable all night.”
He can’t be this oblivious, Nico thinks. Why is he still here? Why isn’t he retreating back to the bar and leaving the two of them to whatever he had clearly barged in on.
And when Nico looks back to his teammate, his long time friend, he sees the oh-so-evident glint of mischief and disobedience in his grey-blue eyes.
He is getting his own back.
Nico knows he was petulant to blame Timo for Poppy not being invited, knows there was nothing he could have done to change her going out on a date, or them not speaking for months while he was with Talia.
He doesn’t need him to enact his revenge to see he was wrong to ignore his texts, or to mope around at the party he had put so much effort into. 
He tries to give him a pleading look to stop whatever he is trying to do, but it’s no use.
“The guys will want to see you, Poppy, Jack’s beating himself up about his shoulder, could use a friendly face.”
“Oh,” Poppy casts a glance back to Nico, and he gives her a nod, implying that she go see to her friend. “I’ll go find him.” 
He can wait. He’s waited 4 days. He’s waited years, in fact.
And, after that kiss, he knows he won’t have to wait much longer. 
“You’re a real dick, you know that?” Nico mutters in their shared native language once he’s watched Poppy disappear through the doors to the bar, with a quick glance back and an apologetic smile before they closed. 
“Just saving my brooding captain from being arrested for public indecency,” Timo shrugs with a shit-eating grin as he passes Nico and heads toward the bathrooms further down the hall. “You’re welcome!” He calls back in English, raising his hands and giving a patronising thumbs up.
Nico runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face and wishing it was Poppy’s in its place.
It’s just an hour, maybe two, in the presence of his friends. Drinks, music, everyone in a good mood for the most part. It’s hardly like he’s walking out into a press conference after a 5 game losing streak and about to have all the blame placed upon his shoulders. 
It’s a party. 
Poppy’s here.
He can do this.
He can wait.
Next Chapter
taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw or if I forgot you I'm a muppet tbh)
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iamthejinyouarethejin · 2 years ago
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You didn’t mean for this to happen.
He didn’t either.
Not that he was complaining.
He’s caught you sending some suggestive pics to a guy you were talking to, nothing personally explicit, but some pics of you smirking with a little dirty talk.
He wasn’t that jealous, right?
I mean, you guys weren’t dating. Right?
Whatever happened was complicated, and before either of you knew it he was about to fuck you senseless on a hotel bed.
He was about a year older than you, and you’d met through his brother, a friend of yours. Eventually, you guys started hanging out more, eventually, he began to fall for you, and eventually the more he wanted you, the less you seemed to notice him.
Not saying you weren’t attracted to him, but not in the way he was to you. He was cute, funny, kind- You knew that.
But...
To him...
you were everything.
You were his goddess.
His muse.
His queen.
The most beautiful person in the world.
He was really in love with you.
Which may just explain why he reacted as irrationally as he did.
“Who the duck is this?!”
“My f-”
“Y/N!!”
“Just shut up! It’s not even that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a deal?!”
He… had a quite a temper.
“Yeah- it’s not. You just assume everything you touch belongs to you.”
“I-” Touch. He had never really touched you before… not the way he wished.
“So just mind your stupid business!”
You'd never raised your voice at him before- Not out of anger.
"So you think just this guy is the one, right?!"
"F it- why can't he be? I like him, he's sweet, he has control of his temper, unlike you-"
That was the deal breaker. You don't compare the man that dreams of you every night and wishes for you to carry his children, to another guy. Specifically not a man you've known for about a week.
"What's so great about him then?! Is he the man of your dreams? Huh? Can he give you everything you want? Everything I can't?!"
"..."
"Huh? HUH?! Answer me, y/n! Or has a cat got your tongue?!"
"He makes me happy..." you spoke under your breath.
"Oh really?"
“Yeah-
“What about me then!?” His face was barely an inch from yours, you could practically feel your heart shaking the ground beneath you.
And that’s how things happened.
"What about you?!"
"Really?"
"REALLY! You don't even seem to care about me anymore, so I just... I just figured that you didn't- that you didn't want to be around me anymore." Your voice trailed off into a meaningless whisper.
"I've only ever wanted you," he muttered.
And he didn't hesistate to show it. He pulled you close to him, lightly rubbing his nose on your shoulder and kissing your cheek.
"Unless..."
Every part of you throbbed, and your hands explored every inch of his body.
"You don't want it," he spoke.
"I do..." Your quick response startled him. "I do. It's just that-"
Kiss.
"W-we..."
Kiss.
"I-"
Kiss.
"This can't-"
"What?" he snapped, clearly irritated. "Happen?"
You avoided his heavy gaze, still involuntarily touching him like he was in need of protection.
"Why? Why can't it happen?" His voice barely above a whisper, icy breath stinging your eyes and nose.
"I-"
Tightly gripping both your legs, he carried you to the small hotel queen bed, nibbling on your neck.
"I'm the one for you," he whispered. "But I can't make you do anything." He pulled away from you, sincerity in his eyes. "I can ask you to give us a chance."
You pulled his face into yours, indulging in the sweet taste of his lips and basking in your warm scent.
You had a chance. You were gonna take it. Better yet...
Would it be a mistake?
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latimeria-fell-from-heaven · 8 months ago
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lati!! I've been following your works for a long back and I don't know if you still like enjou, but did you know they just officially posted him as white day celebration post on insta? the dev team definitely knows whats going on with the enjou enjoyers 😭😭
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oh FR, one of those guys must've read my old cringey enjou smuts and went "lmao lets give the enjou enjoyers something to enjoy themselves with" and i will never be the same after this (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )づ♡
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cufflinksandsnapbacks · 1 month ago
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i am allowed to be unhinged on my page, it's my page. i would apologise for my further words but it's not the time yet
Genuinely desperate to have Eggsy fuck me into a hotel bed but I would never go near Eggsy x Reader, it just doesn't vibe with me—
so I have to turn the next guy to live my fantasy; Harry Hart who's definitely a tart in disguise. No one is that crisp n proper n in command all the time, I swear I see you Hart. (honestly I'll fuck him myself)
For the love of all that is brutal, I hunger for more top!eggsy, I know that boy is sweet and lovely but my god the things he's willing to do for the people he loves that they can shape him into someone different. He'll be anything. So tell me why is that ao3 tag been below 70 results for months even though hartwin is at almost 6000 results
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gwensy · 6 months ago
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gonna be annoying in the tags
#i have never understood the character = actor thing#like genuinely i dont fucking get it at all#if anything i think it both discredits the actors effort and the people that actually created the medias efforts#actors very rarely have anything to do with the characters creation nor do they have anything to do with a character outside of portraying#them like tbh i feel like its a massive insult to the work that goes into acting and writing#plus i just dont really care for actors personally#but thats just a me thing#idk!!! charlie cox does not equal matt murdock he had nothing to do with creating matt murdock#or like cillian murphy as jonathan crane#i dont like jonathan crane because he looks like cillian murphy i just like jonathan crane#like yeah he did a great job with acting in the trilogy and portrayed him great#but cillian murphy doesnt have any of the traits i like in jonathan crane idgaf about that guy aside from like two roles hes done#i dont know man#i just feel like itd be shitty to put months or years into the creation of media#into method acting and portraying these characters with the help of writers and directors#just for characters to not be acknowledged as seperate from their actors#idk. like jonathan crane is played by cillian murphy they have the same face whatever#but that is in no way shape or form the same guy at ALLLLL#idk. also fucks with fandom portrayals of characters#i.e booktok white women projecting poorly written smut onto every middle aged man ever#like you dont look at animated media and equate that character to their VA why would you do it for live action shit#you dont look at writers work and equate their characters to themselves#uuugggggghhhhh#plus i think the film idustry in general tends to give actors too much credit for the creation of media#not to say actors do nothing because they definetly do im interested in acting myself#but brother they r not the ones that direct and write and edit and sound mix and all this other shit#skyler posting#soigh#anyways
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bigothteddies · 4 months ago
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I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that
A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people
B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media
C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.
#unimportant thoughts#i dont feel like dropping specifics in post but like. people online drive me legitimately insane#good example is Ready Player One. its an okay book but people LOVE to hate on it for being a shallow nostalgia grab for old male demographic#and like. yeah. but also comsider that it Was written earnestly by a man in that demographic? and that people enjoyed it???#and maybe im soft hearted but my Dad was a nerd in the 80’s so both of us reading that book and comparing our experiences with it and#learning about his childhood from him. it was awesome yk??? was the book groudbreaking or particularly moving? no#are there a lot of fair criticisms you can make about the book regarding its poorly written female characters and painfully male tone#throughout? absolutely. its not the most vile piece of media its barely mediocre and its not the best thing since sliced bread either#and it kills me because instead of being able to have conversations like thay#people just attack and attack and attack and ATTACK#I don’t know i think the rise of this booktook wattpad level romance smut is another big part of this#are those books incredible? no. definitely not. are they decent? yeah theyre fine enough#are their characters shallow; do they follow tropes; are the characters clearly romanticized objects for us to googoo eye over? yeah#so fucking what??? they arent winning pulitzer prizes theyre just popular online and easily accesible#people love consumbable media thats not an inherently bad thing#and i think its hypocritical for people to defend one and attack the other or even to attack both#media doesnt exist to be appropriately Deep and Meaningful before people are allowed to consume and enjoy it#like. i think theres a LOT of levels of undestanding compassion and respect that people need to reach before these conversations are worth#anything. because right now it really feels like girls and boys arguing back and forth on the playground over whos show is better#anyways. i could go on but i wont.#bottom line i suggest you take a deep look at how ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ the media you enjoy actually fucking is before you start#critizing other media for being too shallow or unrealistic depictions of something#hate to break it to you guys but 90% of fictional characters are fictional and dont act like people irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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bluestrawberrybunny · 3 months ago
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Um… either today has been really productive when it comes to writing or something cuz I wrote and posted 3 chapters of the Schmigadoon AU fic. They’re short chapters tho so… yeah.
Legit sometimes I’ve written 10,000 words in a day. My fingers need to stop.
But my brain is definitely shutting down because it hates all I write. Ye….
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chetchad · 10 months ago
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MDNI 18+
(S.T.A.R.S!Chris Redfield x AFAB!reader)
CWs; (porn without plot, blowjobs, oral m!receiving, come swallowing)
You and Chris sat next to each other in his apartment, he was flipping through the channels while you played on your Nokia. Was Chris getting huffy and prissy about you ignoring him?
Yes.
Would he come clean and tell the truth?
Probably not.
Chris let out a small huff, turning it to the next channel and blushing when he saw what turned on. You looked up at the TV and smirked, glancing over at Chris and giving him a teasing grin.
"You have porn channels? Or a porn channel?” You teased, setting your phone down on the arm of the couch and looking back at the TV.
On the TV, a grainy image of a burly guy pounding his thick fingers into the petite girl’s pussy. Her pussy gushed and oozed with arousal, coating the man's rough fingers and making a slichck sound with every thrust.
Chris stares with a bright blush dusted across his cheeks and the tip of his nose, an obvious bulge forming in the constricting fabric of his blue jeans. You looked over at him, glancing down and smirking at the tent in his pants. Chris looked over at you and saw where your eyes were directed, making him pout with embarrassment.
You got up from the couch, kneeling between Chris’s legs, staring up at him with a small smile. Chris stares down at you with awe working in tandem with shock and embarrassment. You reached towards his crotch and began palming at his hardness, making him groan quietly and toss his head back with ecstasy. You continued to rub his hard-on with the heel of your hand, watching a small dark patch form on the denim on his crotch. Chris stared down at you with lust, pupils blown and swallowing his pretty blue iris’, and cheeks flushed with pleasure.
You grabbed his belt clasp, sliding the smooth, brown leather through the silver metal, releasing the metal prong from the small hole in the leather, and successfully undoing his belt. You popped the button from his pants, unzipping his fly, and revealed his green boxer briefs, wet where the tip of his cock pressed against the fabric.
You fished into his boxers, grabbing his cock and freeing it from its confines. You felt your cheeks heat up at the sight of his thick cock, his tip flushed pink, weeping with pre, the prominent vein throbbing on the underside of his cock.
You looked up at Chris with surprise and awe, “...your dick is, like, the definition of a fat cock, you know that?”
Chris blushed brightly at that, “S-shut up..”
You rolled your eyes fondly, still marveling at the hefty weight in your hand. You started to lean down, glancing up at him through your lashes for the green light to continue. After getting a rushed nod from him, you kitten licked the oozing slit to test the waters.
"Ngh..” Chris moaned softly, reaching down and threading his fingers through your hair, gently tugging you closer towards his cock.
You leaned forward, wrapping your lips around his leaky tip and swirling your tongue around the pudgy head, savoring the salty taste of his pre.
The brunet let out small moans and puffs of air, lips parted, drool dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Chris basked in the feeling of your warm, wet mouth enveloping his throbbing cock, making his pink appendage twitch with excitement.
Chris had to hold back from bucking up into your mouth, not wanting to make you gag and uncomfortable. Chris writhed under you, shaking at the waves of pleasure that beat against his body over and over.
Pulling away from his tip with a ‘pop’, you mouthed at his pulsing vein underneath, trailing your tongue up and down, leaving wet, open mouth kisses.
“You're such a good boy, Chris…” You softly cooed, tracing your tongue around his tip.
Chris blushed brightly at your praise, pulling on your hair, making your scalp burn. Chris gasped when you finally took his cock in your mouth, letting out a drawn out moan when your soft lips wrapped around his arousal. Glancing down, Chris threw his head back in pleasure when he was met with the sight of your cheeks puffed out, cock stuffed in your mouth, drool and pre dripping down your chin.
You bobbed your head up and down, feeling his cock now up into the roof of your mouth.
Chris chewed on his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the familiar feeling of his balls tightening when nearing his climax. Chris pulled your head closer, bucking up into your face to chase his orgasm.
“Gah!” He cried, coming into your welcoming mouth and down your throat.
You let out a happy moan, feeling his sticky come coat your mouth, and slide down your throat. You pulled away, looking up at him with a smile while; come, pre, and drool wetting your chin.
“J-jeez… you're good at that…” Chris mumbled, quietly panting with relief.
“Thanks..”
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littlebunnyotaku · 5 months ago
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BIG SLOPPY MAKEOUT SESH WITH I-NO
pls :)
So I didn't know if you wanted a female or gender neutral reader so I went with female since I was already writing it for her.
Minors. Do not interact.
Tw: NSFW (kinda), Poorly written due to my busy life (Might redo in the future), OOC I-No??, French kissing, Ass grabbing, Getting a little wicked if you know what I mean 🌝, No smut just hot make out session, Hint at marriage
Enjoy!!
It was your one in a million day off and you were currently splayed out on your favorite couch. Work has been stressful especially with that Axl guy popping up from basically nowhere and tailing after Asuka.
You sighed in desperation as you thought of I-No. You missed your gf, I-No. The time traveling musician has been on the run from government and public eyes for years. You know she was trying to hide from the government, especially since word got out that she split her relations from “That Man.”
But you can't help but wish that she could just spend some time with you that isn't limited to “Good night.” Or “Good morning, I love you.” or 2 minute facetime calls with her new companion, Happy Chaos.
It’s not like you're jealous or anything… but you would like it if she could come see you even if it's for a night.
Just then, your phone rings.
The words “ Little Miss Red Riding ME (>3<)! ” popped up along with a background video of Happy Chaos shooting at something and her yelling at him.
To your confusion you answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Pretty girl.”
Her voice, smooth as butter. You can't help but shiver in delight at the way the nickname rolls off her velvety tongue. God. You just want to kiss her.
You had to rub your face a bit as you could feel yourself blushing. You also realized you stared at her the whole time.
“H-Hey, Babe! What’s going on?” You tried to not sound nervous as you looked at them… avoiding someone?
“Don't worry your precious little head about it, I’m coming home today by the way.”
Everytime she spoke, you felt like your heart was about to burst open with a million butterflies. Everything she did felt like magic and you were only being enchanted by it.
“Really? What do you want for dinner then? I can schedule a reservation-”
“-You. I want you for dinner.” She said as she licked her lips with a cheeky smile.
Your mouth stopped moving as you breathe hitched from what she said.
“M-Me?” You gulped as you watched her lips widen.
I-No smirked at you.
“Of course~ Be a dear and be clean by time I get there, okay? I’ll be there in…about 7.”
Before you could ask minutes or seconds, the call ended.
You laid on your couch with starry eyes.
“Oh. My. God.” were the only words that left your mouth as you rested your phone and hand on your chest. You could help but drift off to a daydream about how you would take her. After all, She’s always been the dom in the relationship.
You imagine her grabbing your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. Your tongues dancing and fighting for dominance. The way her lips suck on yours as she's laying you back and groping at your chest. Her ice cold hand pinching and twisting your nipple as she shoves her tongue down your throat.
“Oh baby girl~”
You’re abruptly pulled out your daydream when you feel a hand touch your face. “And you completely forgot what I said?”
I-No was towering over your body, her breasts right in your face as her eyes trailed down to your chest as well.
You gasped as you sat up immediately, making her slip into your lap. “I-No!! You’re here so quickly!! I just-”
“-You’re lucky I love you.” The witch wrapped her arms around you as she kissed you. You felt like you couldn't breathe as her kisses felt like Heaven. You could feel your saliva mixing together when your eyes rolled a bit. You moved your hand down and grabbed her ass, making her grind on you.
“I missed you so much.” She breathed out in between kisses. You felt your tongue slide against hers, her tongue making it to the back of your throat, making you gag.
You couldn't help but look into her gorgeous multicolored eyes as she knew how to create an atmosphere.
Your vision was getting blurry so you pulled away from the Crimson lady, gasping for air.
Sweat was sticking to your forehead, along with some hair strands. “I missed you too.” You whimpered out.
I-No sighed and pulled you up. “Let's go shower.” She said with a wink.
You knew this was going to be a night to remember as you helplessly followed your future wife, ignoring the box with a ring inside it that was placed on the counter.
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gaylactic-fire · 2 years ago
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What is wrong with them
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anorexic-autist · 4 months ago
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istg why does everything the COD fandom on ao3 write have to be porn, and why is none of it properly tagged. there should not be softcore porn in the "mature" section its not that difficult to label your sex scenes as explicit.
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