#poor lad i really should not find that as funny as it is

[footballandfiasco]

paul pogba said in a conversation that emre can is one of the toughest oppenents he ever faced. now that's my nationalspieler of the year.

[thegnomelord]

I REALLY LOVE THE STRAIGHTFOWARD WEREWOLVES SOAP. OMG. Its just really funny in my head, imagine the way soap would act so shameless around the reader, uncaring about the stare he got because thats just how they are! The werewolves race with their no-shit and unfiltered attitude, and oh if they take interest in you, prepare your heart especially if you has a weak one; because surely they'll cling their every waking moment with you, sniffing every spots of you that they can reach. Absurd yet endearing flirtiratios compliments would hurled at you, catching you off guard cause they just come out of nowhere. Baring their fangs at potential rivals, worst case scenario if its their own race, because they can and will get violent, best calmed the werewolves down before anything awful happened. Just a thing between werewolves to prove which one is the stronger and more qualified, whose more worthy of your love, in their point of view.

If you have the time can you make a short fic, it would be the highlight of my life for weeks!!

Okay yes but also because I love needy clingy pathetic Soap too much lol

CW: NSFW, gn reader, grinding, somnophillia, quick and rough.

You've noticed that Soap has started to act. . . strange.

He's started trying to feed you all types of stuff, mostly meat, seeking you out at all times of the day. You'll see him go out to the woods and come back with some large animal, and an hour later he'll be coming to you with a plate of food and a 'Kiss the cook' apron on (every time you have to bite back from drawing attention to the fact the arrows point down to his dick). "Hey, need that wonderful mouth of yer's to try this out." He says, watching with rapt attention as you try his food, taking every critique with a wagging tail.

And if you like his food, oh, there's a giant grin spreading across his face. "Yeah, ye like that?" He comes closer, the plate in your hands forcing distance between you two. "Reckon this cook should get a reward." He's already stepping around to press his chest flush with your back before he can finish his sentence, and you don't have the heart to stop him because the food is mouth watering and he's just scenting you, even if the occasional flick of his tongue against your nape makes you shiver. (You, again, try not to draw attention to a hard bulge grinding into your ass)

That's the other thing. He's gotten really clingy.

He's always been clingy with all the team members, nuzzling his cheek against Gaz, whining like a kicked puppy when pushes him away with a hand on his face, tail wagging as he scents Price. Usually he's satisfied after he's done scenting the lads in your team, happy to continue with his business.

But with you. . .

You can't even sit on the couch for five seconds before his burly body is snuggling up to you, taking his seat in your lap like he owns it, like he's a lap dog. Doesn't even excuse himself before his hands are groping your biceps as he nuzzles your neck. "Aye, yer so hoht," He purrs, full body rubbing against you. "Could use ye fer a blanket on cold nights." You don't know how to feel about that, his words causing your mind to stutter long enough for him to replace the scents lingering on you with his own.

And when someone enters to find you like this, he doesn't even throw them a glance, gripping onto you like a koala and all you can do is mouth a 'help me'. Doesn't work though, as the second he senses someone is getting near he's growling like a monster truck's engine, glaring at the poor sod with his face still stuck in your neck.

Or, if you're busy with something, he'll saddle up to you, ears perked up. "Oi, bonnie, hold som'ting fer me." He'll whine, tugging on your arm until you sigh.

"Fine, just give it here." You growl, holding out your arm, still concentrated on what you're doing.

Next thing you know you're cupping his jaw, his head resting on your hand. "Anyone ever tell ye, yer got perfect hands te grope with?" Johnny grins at you, that one snaggletooth fang pinching his lip, using your confusion to rub the scent glands in his cheeks against your palm, making sure you smell like him.

You shake out of your stupor and pull your hand back, resisting giving in when he gives you such a heartbroken whine. "No, Johnny." You growl and shoo him away, but he still manages to brush his tail against your leg.

You make the mistake to fall asleep on the communal couch after a grueling day of training recruits. When Johnny finds you, his nose immediately trying to get a whiff of your scent, he growls when he can barely get traces of it beneath the smell of dirt and sweat and way too many people when the only scent you should have on you is his. His inner wolf growls along with him, his ears pricking up straight, staring at your sleeping form.

He's more than happy to rectify your mistake.

He lays on top of you, purring happily to himself when you don't even shift. "Good mate," He hums to himself, wrapping around you like a blanket, face buried in your neck once again. His hands slide beneath your shirt, making him pant into your skin from the sensation of your muscles beneath his hands. He moves his body slowly, seeking to have as much skin contact as he can, mouth watering and angel bells ringing in his skull at how he can taste his scent replacing everyone else's on your skin.

He doesn't notice when he starts to nibble on your neck, but it's the sensible next move, what better way to keep competition away than let everyone know you're taken? Johnny's marks bloom across your throat as he sucks hickeys into your skin, his wolf and himself standing on common ground to make sure you're covered in his marks.

He pulls back his head to look at his work and groans, cock immediately hardening in his pants from you covered in his marks. His hips gain a life of their own, thighs gripping your own as he grinds down, already half drunk on your scent.

You wake up to find his hot breath fanning over your face, the sensation of something hard grinding against your leg dissipating any residual drowsiness. "Johnny, what the fuck?" You ask, voice rough from sleep, only now registering his weight on top of you.

"'m sorry bonnie," Johnny whines, burying his face into your neck to muffle his whining. "Just- hah- needed ye."

You grumble, but you can't hide the way heat burns through your veins at the sight of him, his face flushed, claws gripping you like you'll disappear, desperately humping against your leg.

"I can see that." You say, tensing your thigh to give aid him in his grinding, your eyes growing wide at the loud moan that escapes him, like he's a whore on camera.

"Oh, shite, thank ye, thank ye, thank ye-" He whines, his humping growing faster, butterflies fluttering in his stomach at the way you hadn't pushed him away, that you're accepting his advances, muttering 'mate' under his breath as he chases after his orgasm.

He cums before either one of you knows it, a dark stain forming in his pants as he bites down and groans into your neck. You grunt, but Soap's quick to release your skin and lap at the aching spots with his tongue, soothing the pain.

"'m sorry bonnie." He mumbles, cock still hard in his pants, his wolfish eyes settling on you. Shame nibbles on his stomach for cumming so fast when he can't smell a lot of arousal on you, his wolf growling at him to show you how good he can be.

You jump when his hand slides down to grip your crotch roughly, his pupils dilating at the way a small moan slips past your lips. "Lemme make it up fer ye yeah?"

[manifesting-minerva]

Ghosts & Banshees (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader) - Part 1

Author's Note: I welcome you all to my blog. It has been ages since I wrote fanfiction on here but I thought I should get back in it. I used to have a fanfiction blog back in 2016 where I wrote for multiple fandoms but ended up deleting my blog in 2021. I got obsessed with Call of Duty (I never played it but Ghost and König set a wild fire in me) so I thought I'd give it a shot. Naturally, I'm not an expert when it comes to the games or anything related to the military so mainly it's from research I did. Enjoy this piece (might write additional parts in the future if it does well). - Minerva 🐦‍⬛

Summary: An old friend of John Price joins the 141 team, by his recommendation.

Warnings: Mild language, alcohol ingestion, inaccuracies when it comes to military.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Monday morning. Bright and early, the men of Task Force 141 woke up at the crack of dawn. Their body's internal clock had gotten used to them waking up at 5am but the booze they indulged themselves in the previous night had taken a bit of a roll on the aforementioned "internal clock".

Nonetheless, with their bodies soaked in sleep and taking heavy steps, they made their way down to the base's mess hall, trying to eat away the hangover they manifested the night before. Johnny and Kyle were wiping their foreheads, trying to soothe the aching boom in the heads while walking languidly behind them was Ghost who seemed to be sober than them.

"Liver of steel you got there Johnny." Ghost teased the Scot, his British accent thick in sleep as he watched his friend fighting to keep his breakfast down. Gaz wasn't much help to Johnny either as he also chewed his food slowly. Too weak to reply and with little energy, Johnny shot a cold and annoyed gaze at his friend.

Ghost watched the men in front of him as he washed his breakfast down with a cup of black tea. Nothing soothed his soul like a nice cuppa in the morning (or any time of the day).

Minutes had gone by and they exited the mess hall, laughing about the moments they shared the previous night from Price's arm wrestling to Kyle's poor flirting techniques to Johnny's drunk dancing on tables. Ghost always considered himself as he is. A ghost. Watching from the corner silently, occasionally beating Price's unbeaten streak of arm wrestling to pulling Kyle in a chair after embarrassing himself in front of the ladies to pulling down Johnny off the tables and shoving glasses of water in front of him to sober up, convincing him it's a type of vodka (which Johnny took enthusiastically).

They reached Price's office who jumped off his chair when he watched his men enter, trying to compose himself with a big smile on his face. "Good morning gentlemen." He coughed as he settled with them around the table.

The men adjusted comfortably in their seats, waiting for the meeting to start. "Alright lads, I know last night was tough and thankfully today we don't really have a lot of work to do but we do have a mission coming up in the next few months that would need your undivided attention." He looked over to Johnny who was slowly dosing off in his chair. Ghost, "ever-so-gently", took the initiative to smack his friend in the back of his head, surprising Johnny.

"This should wake you all up." In Price's hand was a manila folder which he planned on the table. "Since this mission is sensitive to say the least, we need a pair of extra hands to help us complete it successfully. Hence why I asked an old friend of mine to assist us in the upcoming mission which she kindly and gladly accepted. She is one of the best snipers and combat fighters I've ever worked with...no offence gents."

"Did he just say 'she'?" Johnny whispered loudly.

"Ah so I do have your attention then Soap!" Price chuckled. "Now you all better keep it in your pants. She is also a medic and I'm sure she'll find a way to castrate you in your sleep if you try something funny. Come in Sergeant Y/N."

And there she was. Standing at 5"4 feet tall in black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt that hugged her body nicely. Her soft dark brown hair danced behind her as her brown eyes scanned the room.

"That's not a very nice way to sell me Captain." She chuckled as she made her way over to him. Jaws dropped.

"She has my undivided attention." Johnny whispered to the two men seated next to him. From his cold state, Ghost felt something inside him jolt, like a bullet just fired in his chest. A warm sheet of sweat covered his body, pupils dilated as he watched you and Price hug as he greeted you. No one ever took Price for the "huggy type" person but all formalities flew out the window when he patted her back gently afterwards.

"Welcome Y/N to Task Force 141. We are glad to have you with us. She will also be doing training with the new recruits," Price announced. "Just in case you get bored." He whispered in your ear, chuckling.

Y/N observed the men in front of her when her eyes fell on the only masked man in the room. But before she could introduce herself properly, Johnny bounced from his seat, finding his newly hidden energy.

"I'm Johnny but you can call me Soap." He shook her hand gently and beamed a smile. Kyle was up next.

"I'm Kyle but you can call me "yours"." He said with a small smirk on his face. She swore she felt Price's eyes roll to the back of his head as did the masked man's.

"It's too fuckin' early Gaz." Price scoffed.

"It's Gaz." He said when he received a silent response from the men. A heavy hand landed on Gaz's shoulder and was pulled back. And there he stood at 6"4 feet, dressed in tight fitting black clothes and a balaclava with a painted ghost mask on it with black shadows around his eyes. His fluffy blonde lashes never once fluttered as his eyes were stuck on her, like he's never seen a woman before.

Intrigued by the new member, Ghost approached silently, taking his hand out to introduce himself. Standing tall, towering over her tiny self, he shook her hand.

"Ghost." He said. Short and sweet.

"But you can call him-"

"That's enough Johnny!" Ghost barked.

Once they let go of the handshake, Price stepped in. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gave her a tour of the base as well as showing her her sleeping quarters. Her place wasn't big but it was comfortable enough for at least 2 people to live in. A kitchenette, a bathroom, a double bed and a living room with a comfortable couch, TV and a balcony that led to the outside. All she had to do was spice it up with her taste in decorations.

"If you need any help or have questions, we don't bite we're literally next door." Soap offered as he placed her bags in her apartment followed by Gaz. Ghost stood at the frame of the door leaning as he scanned her apartment.

"Thank you gents. I appreciate the warm welcome." She beamed at them.

"If you want, tonight we're heading for a couple of drinks if you want to join us. It's a good opportunity to get to know you a bit more." Gaz said, hoping she'll say yes, to which she did.

***

That evening Task Force 141 gathered around the bar table, downing a pint of Guinness each, laughing along each other's jokes.

"So bonnie," Soap licked the froth from his lips. "What's your code name?"

Y/N raised her eyebrow. "You didn't read my Manila file? I'm impressed at your restraint Soap."

"I'm more of an upfront guy you know. Like to look people in the eyes when I talk to them. He smirked like.

"Do you want to take a guess?" Her lips landed back on her pint of Guinness as she looked around, her eyes landing on Ghost. He is thankful yet again for his balaclava that hid his blush.

"It's Banshee. Price actually suggested it years ago." She chuckled. Price patted himself on the back for this one. "Ay, you're fuckin lethal Y/N." He said sipping on his drink.

"Why do they call you 'Soap' Johnny?" Y/N asked, spinning the subject to the man next to her.

"Let's say I clean up well." He winked at Y/N. "I'm fast, efficient, accurate." While Soap continued praising his agility and the speed he can clean a room and his urban warfare tactics (as Gaz called it "jerking himself off with his own compliments"), Y/N's eyes get again landed on Ghost. His legs splayed open covered in dark jeans and a shirt that was two sizes smaller than his actual size. The way his muscles were ready to rip the sleeves of his shirt, his dark tattoos littering his arms and if her eyes served right, they landed on his crotch where a small bulge could be seen. Immediately averting her eyes when she noticed Ghost's hot gaze on her.

He must hate me. She thought to herself as she diverted her attention back to the rest of the team.

And nothing short could be said about Ghost couldn't take his eyes off her. The way she threw her head back in sweet laughter or the way she punched Soap's arm when he teased her. Or the way her lips gently closed around the rim of the glass and swallowed her beer.

Ghost knew something was about to change.

Ghost knew he was fucked.

[spindrifters]

I've been doing battle with my internet all day to get this up for Lynxmas. I would not be bested!! I refused and I persevered!! So a very happy birthday from me and the rowdy 11 year olds to our favorite barwench humble forest cat @lynxindisguise!!

There’s a peculiar shuffle to sharing one’s room, a frenzy of activity when it comes to four boys squashed into a rather small circular dorm that puts Remus—not only used to the solitude of his own little cottage bedroom, but raised without so much as a single other child his own age for at least ten miles in each direction—decidedly on edge.

It’s a continuation of the chaos from the welcoming feast, where the newly-sorted Gryffindor boys had quickly found their stride and accompanying role in the ecosystem. James and Sirius, no longer competing over who could eat more chicken thighs but still loudly trying to one-up each other’s boasts about feats of accidental magic. Peter, scrabbling to get a word in while his eyes gleamed with excitement each time one of them noticed. And Remus, the impulse to join in the fun warring with Dad’s gentle word of warning before he climbed on the train earlier in the day—can’t be too careful, lad.

He pushes that to the side, focusing instead on finding his plush grindylow Raccoon at the bottom of his trunk. It’s a poor replacement for Jeff, the very real grindylow who lives at the bottom of his garden pond and who he already misses something fierce—and he is not going to let the other boys see that he brought a stuffed animal with him to school, thank you very much—but still. It helps to know that Raccoon’s there. It helps to know he'll have at least one friend at school.

Because Peter’s nice, but he and James are already friends from growing up, and Sirius and James… Well, he supposes they mean well, but with their shining black shoes and posh accents and the way they barrel loud and bright through a conversation like nothing in the world could touch them, Remus can’t help but be intimidated. For Merlin’s sake, Sirius has silver monogrammed cufflinks on the sleeves of his school uniform. Even if Remus does manage the courage to ever string more than two words together in front of his new dormmates, he can’t imagine they’d ever want to be friends with someone like him.

There’s a flash then, followed by a bang, and Remus becomes briefly distracted by a whirling firework escaping from James’s trunk. There’s laughter at that, a slight salve to his fluttering, nervous gut when the other boy winks at him from behind square-frame glasses, but then James turns back to say something to Sirius instead and stops. He gapes.

“Why are you wearing a dress?”

“It’s not a dress,” Sirius sniffs, looking affronted at the very idea. “It’s a nightshirt.”

Well, whatever it is Sirius has changed into while the rest of them weren’t paying attention, it certainly looks like a dress. It’s white, and ankle-length, and buttoned all the way up to just beneath his chin. Also, it’s frilly. Very frilly. If anything, it looks like something out of Ma’s old and battered copy of A Christmas Carol, like he should really have a long nightcap and candleholder to go with it.

Remus can’t help it. He snorts.

Sirius snaps his gaze over, steel grey eyes boring holes into him, and Remus wants to melt into the floor beneath his feet. “Well, what do you wear to sleep, then, if it’s so funny?” he snaps.

“Not my gran’s nightie,” Remus replies, feeling he ought to be congratulated, actually, on such a witty remark. Only Sirius’s eyes flash at that, and immediately his jaw clamps jaw shut.

But then James is cackling, and Sirius seems to take in his new dormmates for the first time since they all began changing for bed. James, in a vest and Quidditch shorts. Peter, in a matching set of broomstick-patterned pyjamas. Remus, in a pair of joggers and the oversized green jumper that still smells like Dad. A red flush creeps up Sirius’s pale cheeks. “Oh.”

It occurs to Remus then, that this wasn’t at all what he wanted, either. He didn’t want to make Sirius feel bad about it. He hadn’t wanted to embarrass him.

So it’s a poor offering, maybe, but he finds himself digging out another jumper—orange, this time, but a nice soft one, and not too oversized or nubby—and says, “D’you want to borrow it?”

A moment passes, then two, and then Sirius is smiling wide. “Cheers, Lupin,” he says, a shine in his eyes of something Remus doesn’t quite know how to place.

In future days he’ll come to understand that that look is the surefire sign of Sirius about to do something that’s not the done thing—not by pureblood standards, anyway, whatever the hell those are. All he knows right now is that Sirius isn’t yelling at him—or worse, ignoring him—and then James is throwing an extra pair of Quidditch shorts at Sirius’s face and saying no one wants to see his skivvies, and then Peter is breaking out a massive bag of Bertie Bott’s to share, and maybe it turns out that Remus can have friends, actually, after all.

[ohmygraves]

let me share a bit of my self insert details for cod, since i figured out i can write smth while i think about how to continue the other wips i have

with callsign "rookie", a first generation immigrant. they're the youngest between all the 141, and was recommended by laswell. still, their rank is definitely under both soap and gaz. a non-binary person, though don't mind any pronouns.

here's a few sketches of them (i made it to my likeness because, y'know, "self" insert)

the change in haircut is intentional as it should reflect my continuously changing hairstyle since my hair is a dumbass who can't make up its mind in how it should present itself.

i made a "relationship chart" to explain the dynamics of rookie with the other members of 141

gaz ⇄ rookie

gaz and rookie i'd imagine to be some kind of the ride or die best friend, which unfortunately often happened because rookie has the worst kind of luck, but just good enough that they get out of danger somehow in the last second. the kind of best friend that you could understand being so close because you'd known eachother really well. it's probably the case of them being quite similar in age (rookie is still younger though), so he took pity of them at first and happily accompany them everywhere. he knows how anxious it can be to be around something so unfamiliar and scary, and he understands how it feels to be frustrated knowing that you can't save everyone (he hopes that rookie can be more mature but for now he'd gladly sigh at their naivety).

soap ⇄ rookie

maybe because i view soap to be slightly older than gaz i feel like soap and rookie are more like siblings? i feel like if soap became best friends with rookie, he'd be too much for the poor lad. soap as best friend is a good trope but he's a wild card that he could show up at your doorstep either with a bong or a shovel, and i'm not sure if rookie can handle all that. he's a good friend, sure, but one that gaz hope that won't influence rookie too much because what is he going to do with not one but two soap at the barracks?

that being said, i think that soap treats rookie like somewhat of a younger sibling that he gets to pick on from time to time, but in a nice way. like he'd wear their stuff that he found on the laundry, strutting a booty shorts (and killing it) while he makes some coffee for himself as rookie hunts his head for sports since all their clothes get stretched because of him. or the one that tells them that price likes spicy in his sandwich causing rookie to witness price choke on a sub slathered with hot sauce, getting them in trouble. he takes advantage of their naivety in a funny way and he teaches them weird things. definitely gets him in trouble with ghost though because of that.

price ⇄ rookie

now don't come at me for being so overrated, but i see price as a father figure. if activision don't want me to commit fatherless behavior, then they probably shouldn't make him so dad material in the first place. that being said, i like to think that when price sees rookie's files and do a small "interview" with the lad, he feels like he was responsible for a new teammate. like mama hen finding a kitten and taking care of it like a chick.

he understands that rookie is very, very new to everything, and that's saying it lightly. being the youngest of the group, an immigrant, not to mention very naive made him pity the newbie, which of course made him go "dad mode" and teach them things from time to time. he has definitely been called "dad" by accident a few times by rookie, but he didn't seem to mind. didn't seem to enjoy the fact that soap's influencing them to act up too at times.

ghost ⇄ rookie

now ghost is my favorite (obviously), so this might be long. in general, ghost didn't like how inexperienced rookie is. they're in 141, working as an sas soldier, and they're going to fumble on their guns like an idiot?

preposterous, why did laswell let them in the team?

it's not like he has any say in it, and unfortunately he had to mentor them and make sure they're doing a good job (read: babysitting, as he would say), and it didn't make him feel better about it. sometimes i want to see him just grab the poor newbie and just scream at their face like "what do you want!? i can't believe someone is this bloody fucking incompetent, you might as well be a sea cucumber!" like this man would not hesitate to insult the newbie to the point that they're crying.

and he should be. he's not going to put his life in the hands of some dumbass who can't shoot right half the time.

of course, it'll take a long, long time for him to acknowledge their skill, even getting a small "passable" from him is worth celebrating. literal years to be close to him, share the fact that they're both fatherless people who used to live in an abusive household and maybe he'll start to acknowledge them (anything that's beside work ofc). little affirmation that they've gotten this far somehow even after such horrible things happening to them.

i only ever pair rookie with ghost and soap (or both of them together as a throuple) romantically, gaz is more platonic and price is more fatherly.

i know this is a different post from what i normally would post but if you're all interested in getting to know rookie more, feel free to interact. my askbox are open for requests or something a bit more casual, don't be shy. i don't bite.

[dolphin1812]

“The first young lad who comes to hand, however poor he may be, with his strength, his health, his rapid walk, his brilliant eyes, his warmly circulating blood, his black hair, his red lips, his white teeth, his pure breath, will always arouse the envy of an aged emperor.”

I can’t believe Marius surpassed Napoleon

Hugo does a lot of uncomfortable moralizing about being poor here. The idea that it’s actually good for the young to be poor just feels cruel; Marius didn’t go through the worst sort of poverty, and yet he still went many days without food and heating, which should be unacceptable for anyone. The idea that “work” makes a person “free” is strange as well. On the one hand, having one’s own money can confer a sense of freedom, as there’s the feeling that one can spend according to their wishes. It’s not really “freedom,” though. Marius works because he has to, and most of his spending goes to necessities. Although I don’t like the stress on being poor being good, I do find it funny how Hugo’s Romanticism pops up here. Condemning the entertainments of the wealthy by talking about how Nature is so much better because it brings the poor man closer to his fellows and the Infinite at least has some nice images in it.

Marius shares Hugo’s mindset and takes it to another level by justifying his suffering not only as a way of building moral fortitude, but of making up for his neglect of his father. He adds a religious dimension, seeing it as “impious” to live in a different manner. Thus, in a novel full of religiously-infused guilt, Marius manages to provide us with another variation of the problem with this kind of torment. Like Valjean’s self-abnegation, Marius’ has no clear end because it’s based on an emotional state – guilt – rather than clear outside markers. Valjean’s guilt gives him a psychological prison of penance long after his sentence has ended, and while Marius isn’t at that level, his mindset isn’t very healthy, either.

Unfortunately, Marius remains very isolated (although we get to learn more about Mabeuf next! Yay!). The one who seems to be suffering more from that now, though, is M Gillenormand. His internal torment isn’t surprising, given the combination of his idolization of his grandson with his refusal to accept differences of opinion. Still, his inability to admit to his loneliness is pretty sad (to the extent that one can feel sorry for Gillenormand). His pride is one problem, and one that Marius shares; both of them would probably have a much easier time processing their respective forms of grief if they could let go of it. However, Gillenormand doesn’t have anyone to share his sadness with. His daughter doesn’t really care (although Hugo said so in a pretty demeaning way), and he doesn’t have friends to confide in. His performative social life doesn’t permit him to express grief even when he’s asked directly about Marius, stressing the shallowness of his connections. Gillenormand may be despicable, but he’s also a victim of his own ideas, with the authoritarianism and pride that hurt Marius and his daughter keeping him from healing from this break.

[fictionkinfessions]

It is very funny to me, that I haven't seen anyone mention a connection between Clay and I. Typically, when he isn't forgotten, you only ever see him if Apollo is relevant. But I remember meeting him. I knew him, before I was arrested. Decently well! The odd thing is, I can't recall Apollo. I will agree on that aspect, that those two are connected at the hip. But I've nothing on that spiky-haired Attorney. Only his friend.

The worst part is, he's rattling around in here, as well. It's quite the notion, considering he should be dead. Although, as it isn't 2027, not really. Going along those lines, I should be four years into a prison sentence. But here we are.

On that note, he finds it very entertaining that he only exists for someone else's angst. Poor lad, just couldn't cut it.

-Simon Blackquill, Ace Attorney.

x

[dujour13]

🩸 right before and discovering the Secret?

📜 first impressions?

👑 after the choice of the path?

🩸 right before and discovering the Secret?

Nevi must have a good reason for this, right? Are those… underpants? Oh no. I should just go.

Camellia? All right—so that’s Nevi’s good reason.

I always hoped there would be a little half-elf solidarity, a little warming up at some point after all we’ve been through, but she remains cold, indifferent to the Crusade and impervious to my charm. I have no idea why she’s even here.

Though this may be it. Could the spirits of Sarkoris be the key to closing the Worldwound? She can’t be allowed to go on killing crusaders, but what if she’s right? What if all we need to do to end this is make a blood sacrifice—obviously not these poor lads, but someone… important, someone powerful, someone whose blood might sate the spirits once and for all?

I don’t really want to think about it.

But I have to at least consider it. I mean, I’m nobody. Hardly a price to pay. Maybe all this, the Crusade and these strange powers, is all to that one purpose. I am Iomedae’s chosen after all—her chosen lamb.

Maybe we can find some way to get Mireya to—wait, is she licking her knife?

📜 first impressions? (took Siavash’s pov here although the reverse would be funny)

If that isn’t the saddest thing. A bleached gnome becomes a Hellknight. He does know bleaching the whole world won’t fix anything?

Should have listened to my instincts and told the Hellknights exactly where they could go. It’s almost like they knew, like they sent Yaker to play the wet puppy on my doorstep on purpose. I’m such a fucking pushover.

On the other hand, if I hadn’t dithered maybe we would have arrived in time to stop them from—oh gods, slaughtering their wounded.

This is not what we’re fighting for.

If he thinks he’s joining the Crusade we’re going to have to set a couple of things straight right here and right now.

“Yes, Paralictor, thank you, Paralictor.”

Fucking pushover.

👑 after the choice of the path?

Inheritor be my bastion, what has he done now?

Lady of Valor, he’s retaken Drezen. Why is it that all I can see is my vandalized banner? In Your name, Light of the Sword, was this relic wrought and unfurled to drive back the forces of chaos; and here it is blasphemed, Your sword effaced and blotted over with a child’s doodle, and all he does is shrug and laugh it off like a harmless prank.

Drezen—that this banner won and lost—won again but under a new banner, a new leader who has blown in like a seed on the wind and grown into this fantastical tree with his lute and his butterflies, to replace the tired old blade with new growth.

I should be overjoyed. I am overjoyed! Drezen is ours again; the Abyss trembles; trees grow in the Worldwound.

Will someone remove this insufferable dragon?

[chidoroki]

Black Clover ch353

Apparently the legendary dragon had the land perpetually covered in yoryoku, so the inhabitants never actually saw the real sky before. I guess it wasn’t really noticeable to us in manga either, but I’m sure if and whenever this moment gets animated the new sky will be beautiful to witness. (kinda reminds me of Juvia seeing the sky for the first time without her rain).

Y’all are just gonna sit back and wait in hopes the Bulls will appear? I mean I don’t doubt them; they’re sure to find someway over here with some crazy method, but then they’ll all have to travel back to Clover anyway. Just seems like more work to me? Can’t we have Asta wash up on the shores like Yami did back in the day? Pfftt, but yeah sure, our boy needs a break anyway. He can worry about judgement day later..

For now, we celebrate! Everyone seems so happy and lively which is good! They deserve to let loose and have some fun. I find it kinda hilarious they’re all gonna feast on the dragon. Sure it was all just laying there dead now and the thing was huge, so all that meat can last them like..several years. Thankfully Lily is getting some proper rest too, but still won’t wake until Lucius is defeated.

We see Ichika ask again about who really killed off the Yami clan, but Ryu’s silence is a loud enough answer to that. And I dunno why but I think Fuji is probably my favorite out of the seven. He just seems so chill playing his biwa and I love it.

I know I should be focusing more on the fact that Ichika apologizes to Asta about speaking ill of Yami, but I simply can’t ignore the fact our boy is actually drinking! Oh Vanessa would be so very proud of him. I desperately want to see the two of them celebrate together now.

The whole Charmy resemblance towards this Ocha-ami doll has me confuzzled, like I thought it looking like our famous big eater was just for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting it to have some sort of backstory?? Has Charmy actually been to Land of the Sun once before? Could she get the rest of the Bulls there now since they’re trying to find Asta? Or is this all a bunch of nonsense and the real Ocha-ami is someone completely different? Maybe a real distant relative on Charmy’s dwarf side, or whatever side of her has the food magic? Charmy is such a big mystery, I dunno, it’s all rather silly to think about but still funny to me.

Not gonna lie but Jozo looks kinda nice without his mask? I assume he wears it to hide all those scars and to better fit the mysterious ninja persona we’ve seen from him already, but I like it. He kinda reminds me of Gabimaru from Hell’s Paradise, which is weird how I even thought of him considering I’ve only seen him from trailer previews? But oh my god, please let Yosuga and Mereoleona meet up! Imagine the fight they would get into! (she’d probably wipe the floor with him).

Soon after Daizaemon suggests Asta take a dip in the hot spring and seeing our boy all bare was certainly not on my list of things I’d wanted to see. Though I did get the reminder of the giant scar across his chest he received at the start of this arc. Poor lad needs to stop getting hurt so much. And as per hot spring tradition, ya can’t visit one without some kind of fanservice happening, so Asta unexpectedly runs into Ichika (due to Daizaemon’s forgetfulness). Thankfully Ichika’s embarrassment and Asta’s quick getaway spars him of any harm. For now.

Asta wastes no time to apologize the next morning like the good boy he his and we’re back at it again with some more upcoming training. With the way the chapter ends, it reminds me of how the six month training in Heart was handled, so hopefully we time skip right to judgement day, or at least back to Clover and the other Bulls to see what they’ve been up to the past couple days.

But ah, how great this was. Finally a chapter that gave me stuff to ramble on about for more than a couple sentences! The fight was nice and all but I very much enjoyed seeing the seven and Asta all chill out for once.

[sugaroto]

@theallstore You are completely right, this is greek mythology

And @asinine36 if you're still interested

Allow me to introduce you to Menippos, Hermes and Charon

Well, not these ones

These ones

Ουκ αν λαβοις πάρα του μη έχοντος (ancient greek for= You cannot take from the one who doesn't have) is a greek animated satire tv series that came out back in 2010-2011

And then got canceled cause it was mocking politicians

It's based on the myth that Menippos, a cynic philosopher, who was really poor and died without an obol (coin) couldn't go to the underworld

So they made a show of it

Charon and Hermes try to get him to work but he always messes it up

Some of the jobs he did was: fast food employee, vampire hunter (specifically sent to kill Edward Cullen), taxi driver, politician, football player, fake Santa Claus, detective who finds lost dogs etc

Hermes keeps killing him any time Menippos is annoying him and archangel Gabriel sends him back down (the man doesn't know sleep)

Funny thing is. Menippos is an ASSHOLE. ΜΑΛΑΚΑΣ he is the epitome of MALAKAS

I think it's hilarious that people said he's NTA

Maybe in the specific case he seems like a victim ok, but his whole personality in the show is being an asshole and he knows it

In this clip, he made a political party called A.S.S.H.O.L.E

Let me translate the conversation:

Add: "are you a right-wing?

No?

Are you a left-wing?

Neither?

On the center? You laugh?

Maybe you're just an "ASSHOLE"?

"Big indecisive folksy independent and unincorporated coalition"

We dont discriminate except pedophiles ex and current dictators and family members of Bush"

Menippos: *laughs*

Hermes: no tell me I didn't tell you so

Charon: you told me so

H: no no tell me I didn't tell you so

C: you- you told me so

H: and what do you have to say now?

C: You're right

H: I know I'm right, but what do you have to say?

C: he's an asshole. The lad is an asshole

M: not only I am. But I am also their political leader. Certified, first instance and advertised on television *continues laughing*"

Ps: in greek malakas, means someone who jerks off/ masturbates and the dick is also called "bird" so. The icon of the political party MALAKAS was 100% on purpose (also yeah malakas can't really be translated I think but we use it similar to the way English people use asshole so we've agreed that's the translation even though asshole means κωλοτριπιδα)

So yeah, the show is about an Asshole trying to find 1€ in the bad economy of Greece 2011 in order to pay mister Anger Issues and Crybaby so they can retire and go on vacation

Also, greeks today are in fact Orthodox Christians (the majority at least, I mean look at the flag) and that's where the joke of "changing religions" comes from

There's also a bunch of random stuff that I love about the show, like Charon being in love with Cinderella but she keeps rejecting him

And a lot of reoccurring characters, whether fictional (like Lassie, ET, Cinderella, Avatar(blue) Snow white, Pluto, the twilight cast) or real (Madonna, Obama +lots of politicians, The Pope, Queen Elizabeth) etc

Also, I almost forgot, some people in the tags said Hermes (or someone else) should have paid for him, that's not how it works. Hermes' job was to bring the souls to the underworld and Charon's to take them across the river, Hermes couldn't be paying Charon for every dead soul he brought

Am I the asshole for not paying and dying?

So, I (M???) Technically died thousands of years ago. The thing is at that time my country and religion had the rule that the dead were buried with a coin to pay the dude that was taking them to the underworld.

But I was (and still am) really poor. So the God (M???) who collected the souls (We're gonna call him H) and guides them to the underworld left me at the side of the river where I had to take a boat

Then a boatman, let's call him C took me to the other side, when he asked me to pay I didn't have any money to pay him and actually enter the underworld

I suggested that H should pay for me since he was the one that brought me there but he said something like "As if I'll make any money from this business if I start paying for the dead too"

Well since I couldn't pay, I never really died and have been wondering around earth for a while now.

But recently my country officially changed religions and since the old gods gave everything to the new ones H and C had to do some paperwork in order to actually get retired

But they can't get retired since I am an unfinished business from the ex administration. Any time H tries to kill me (that guy has a lot of anger issues and hates my guts so it happens a lot) I'm sent up to heaven and an angel G(M?) has to bring me back down since I "am not a Christian and unfinished business" etc etc

H and C have been trying to find me a job so that I'll get paid, pay them and die so they can retire

So far I haven't been able to get paid, I guess I'm kind of sabotaging the whole thing since I don't want to die but also the country and the economy is shit, where would I find 1€ in this time and age?

So am I the asshole for not helping them retire by paying them and dying?

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze Pt.3

[Okay, summary, it was Fraze and Ray’s 13th, Fraze was having a party and some gal kissed him as a present so Bea peaced out, said gal became his gf and Baze were NOT on good terms, we forced them together for a Rocky babysitting moment, they burnt JoeRay’s weird shit and had it out eventually, ILYs were exchanged but Bea wasn’t sure if he meant as a brother or a boyfriend because the world likes to confuse y’all about what you are and what you can be to each other; the next day Fraze dumped this poor gal like he said he would and then Baze ditched school to go on a romantic building site date, first kisses as not literal children happened as well as some more firsts and discussions of more later, as well as attempts to work out how y’all can be together and not have it out there]

Bea: [‘if they wanna think it’s funny now’ like that would be ideal because we all know that is not the reception it would get lol ‘it’s better, when we talk’]

Fraze: [‘they’d tell themselves it’s the same’ like we’re still those little kids etc which is obvs why y’all aren’t planning to let them know any of it and that goes without saying]

Bea: [‘let ‘em’ because we know it ain’t, lifting our head up to look at you ‘none of them know what it’s like when it’s just us’]

Fraze: [‘they don’t know us how we know each other’ because cliche or not, it’s true, especially in his case and soz but none of you have earnt the right to know him like that is how he feels about it]

Bea: [‘no one does’ with an unspoken no one will being obvious in our case]

Fraze: [just look at her with all the feeling because there’s no way to even verbalise how much it means that he’s the one person she let in and that she really can trust him with having done that and also lowkey no need to say it either cos y’all know]

Bea: [‘shut up and kiss me’ way up in your grill already because we can’t handle any of this right now or ever so]

Fraze: [do use her hair to bring her in for a really good kiss thank you]

Bea: [make use of the fact neither of you have got up or dressed and be touching all the bare skin you would have no call to touch before now, like his chest and stomach, wrapping your arms and legs around his back because don’t want to let go or leave this moment]

Fraze: [we have to shamelessly say she has a scar somewhere even if it’s tiny af and faded af from being old, hence lowkey forgotten about, purely so we can say it isn’t forgotten about by him and he’s touching it now wherever it may be, more lightly than he’s ever touched anything ever, I don’t make the rules, but actually I do and I insist, not stopping kissing her to find it, obvs, cos he just knows where it is without having to even look]

Bea: [when the way he knows you never ceases to amaze you for real, he knows things that you don’t even know he knows or would think to imagine he does, obviously finding a conversely newer scar on his body, (‘cos he’s that sort of boy), specifically from when you were not talking in that week of torture, touching it with the same care but with a slightly more !! pressure because we’re saying we didn’t stop paying attention to you nor giving a shit, obviously it was the complete opposite, however we tried to play it]

Fraze: [oh lads, so cinematic, when you’ve gotta just wordlessly encourage her to give you a lovebite about this, like you too can actually leave a scar anywhere on my body if you want to, because he did give her a tiny one earlier but I don’t think she has because she was trying to be chill, and if she did it won’t be as dramatic as he’s giving her permission to be in this moment]

Bea: [I likewise don’t think she has because letting you lead this entirely lest we go too far and ruin everything was very much the vibe of how we were behaving; but now we’re here as wordlessly debating all the possible places we could give you a lovebite, and if we should do it somewhere you can hide it or just go for the neck as is classic because it isn’t like they had to have given them to each other just because they both have them (obvs it is a bit more suss but mcvickers have a newborn so they’re not paying that sort of attention), hence we’re pressing our head so close into his neck, lowkey just enjoying being there and feeling his pulse and the heat of his skin before we go in]

Fraze: [when you gotta lol, in a hot way, ofc, at her teasing him, because he LOVES to do it in any sense, wind up merchant he is, and he’s as about when she’s doing it back, but then she’s doing the most so it’s an even hotter lol like okay damn, because we all remember his lovebite was barely one and he’s likewise thinking about how he’s gonna be more extra about the next one]

Bea: [smiling at him but you’re so cuddled into him he probably can’t see so the ‘what are you laughing at?’ in his ear has to express how much you’re into it too, which it of course will, giving his earlobe a little tug like you’re so offended]

Fraze: [‘can take a swot out the classroom’ like you can’t get over how well she followed your wordless instructions there, cos where’s the lie, she really did and you’re really not]

Bea: [‘I know what you want’ almost dismissively in the sense we see that as an absolute given like well of course ‘can’t you think of anything better to call me?’ folding your arms between y’all so you’ve put that much distance so you can actually look at him again, in your faux madness at this]

Fraze: [😏 because he’s that smug self-confident bitch too so we love to see you feeling yourself as well, gal, along with just knowing it’s true, raising an incredible eyebrow anyway though cos gotta give out a lil challenge with it or who are they ‘what’s better than honesty, babe?’ like soz you’re SUCH a swot though actually]

Bea: [‘plenty of things, too bad you ain’t about to find out’ like lol this is no way to seduce anyone, sitting up if not actually getting up with it]

Fraze: [pulling her back down with such where do you think you’re going energy because we all know you aren’t actually mad sis and you don’t wanna go nowhere]

Bea: [LOOKING at him ‘I’m just smart’ when you eventually say anything after such a !! pause, because that’s the last thing you really wanted to say and the last thing he’d imagine]

Fraze: [‘smarter than me’ because it’s just a fact not a woe as me thing as far as he is concerned, while he’s doing the most to outdo her in the lovebite stakes, somewhere she can hide though, because of how hard he’s going at this, to show that he knows what she wants and can read her too, booksmart or not]

Bea: [shaking your head because not how we see it because we’re not a massive snob who only values booksmarts here but that becomes irrelevant when we’re having to use your shoulder to cover our mouth so we don’t make all the noise about this lovebite moment]

Fraze: [you’re not your sister, we all know it, oh Ro, don’t get me started truly ‘you was clever enough to come here with us’ because what a good decision, all round]

Bea: [my boo says we ain’t going there honey and she’s so right for that, not thinking about you right now sweaty; ‘that does feel like a very good idea right now’ emphasizing the feel with moving against him]

Fraze: [doing his own nod, basically just rubbing his face against her skin because of where he is ‘you got any more?’ because you know she does, she has so many she’s been holding back from you/gradually telling you so]

Bea: [doing your own hot lol as if it tickled but it just felt nice, as does all this closeness and contact, humming and biting your lip like you’re thinking so you don’t give it all away at once]

Fraze: [‘I’ll have them all off you’ as he’s doing the most to try and make her tell him by kissing and touching her in all the ways he’s found out give the best reactions based on what they’ve already been up to, because filed all that knowledge away for an opportunity exactly like this]

Bea: [‘typical’ like so you but how we sound is giving away the positive we actually see that as before our physical reactions can even give us away ‘I know you know what comes next’ because not saying you’re clueless, not by this age]

Fraze: [don’t mind him just kissing down her body not at all casually because he isn’t clueless, making me die as per the way all characters have such complete and utter disregard for their surroundings lol, god bless] 

Bea: [‘I’ll do you first’ like you don’t have to go down on me to earn it because we don’t know if you actually want to or what, we don’t have that kind of experience of actually reciprocal relationships and not the other person purely doing what they want always]

Fraze: [‘I’m here now’ which doesn’t sound at all as begrudging as it sounds typed haha, he’s like no no shh shh and simply determined to give this his best shot, despite not having a clue what he’s doing, it’s okay, boy, blag it, we’ve all gotta fake it til we make it sometimes]

Bea: [‘it’s different when you’re there’ hiding our head in our hands right now because we mean you can very much see it/us all as opposed to your mutual masturbation vibe; but are we saying this like I hate it and I want to stop? No, more like, what if YOU don’t like it, which in fairness he is a teenage boy and they say stupid shit to sound funny when they’re in a crowd so, I can see what you’re thinking, girl]

Fraze: [‘trust me’ with as much feeling, if not more than all the other times he’s said it so far this convo, because truly, what else is there to say or do, just this and then you’ve gotta show her she can by obvs not hating this or being that teen boy horrific cliche, gotta let you shine like that at least, even if you don’t with the oral skills you haven’t got yet, enthusiasm and checking in with her reactions counts for a lot, as we’ve said before]

Bea: [just nodding again so you don’t have to say I do right now but that’s the truth, just lying back down from however you’d sat yourself up to talk to him so you aren’t fully LOOKING at him whilst he does this, covering your mouth with the back of your hand]

Fraze: [imagine the pressure if she was STARING at him, but you’ll be fine, boy, I won’t do you dirty and say this goes horrifically wrong, we don’t need to be putting you off for life]

Bea: [you’re not smashed or a dickhead who refuses to take direction or is just purely oblivious so really it can’t exactly go wrong, lbr, hence another swear word coming out like a prayer casually, despite our efforts to be quiet]

Fraze: [when you gotta lol again, not at all casually the hottest lol, because love to hear it always ‘yeah, you pure love me now’ getting that scouse out, accidentally sounding like your sister because she always says that instead of really but we aren’t gonna think about that rn]

Bea: [when the ‘shut up’ just sounds like you want him to get back to what he was doing so you gotta give him a little kick as well, obviously with a smirk because not fuming]

Fraze: [do get back to what you’re here to do, boy, but give her leg a squeeze as the equivalent of the kick, but also a hot, stay still kind of move like the where do you think you’re going one, and just because you want to]

Bea: [making a small !! noise because you’re both taking this at a relatively slow pace for obvious reasons of not fucking the other up but you can’t kill your whole reaction or what would be the point]

Fraze: [it’ll give you confidence to be more !! yourself because we know y’all in the future and always and we know damn well that’s what you both like, softness has its place but that’s rarer for y’all than it is some of the couples we have, so, do the most, and if you wanna lowkey just be manhandling her all over this floor the entire time you can]

Bea: [‘I’m not gonna say it’ purely for the principle and how much you’re dying and thus he is trying to make you say you love him, obviously, lol, of course sounding THE MOST indecent you have ever thus far]

Fraze: [‘you fucking are’ with the same energy she said I know what you want earlier, it being an absolute given, because he is doing the absolute most and it has become a competition at this point like when they were trying to make each other cum first before, giving her a very indecent inner thigh lovebite as soon as he’s said it, to really try and make her]

Bea: [we all know you’re gonna lose but you’re also gonna give it your all, of course, literally moving away from you on this floor and crossing your legs like nope, am not but you’re fully this 😈 as well, me like your uniforms are gonna be dusty as hell, good thing the ball has been dropped around here huns lol]

Fraze: [the most indecent playfight ever ensuing here to get her back where she was, in every sense, can’t even call it a playfight cos this boy is not playing lol, so !! and so much stronger and bigger than her]

Bea: [when all you can do is LOOK at him with the biggest eyes ever because you’re likewise keeping your mouth shut so tight in this moment but you gotta let it be known]

Fraze: [taking a sec to pause and kiss her the most forcefully he is capable of to literally force her mouth open because obviously, simply must, giving all the SAY IT energy possible without speaking]

Bea: [put all that pent-up noise and energy into making out with him as aggressively as he started this, trying to switch your positions with it]

Fraze: [god loves a trier gal but we are all aware in no world is he letting you and you are gonna end up pinned so !! that it’ll actually hurt, soz not soz he has a job to do here and despite starting that makeout sesh he isn’t gonna get derailed from finishing it, kiss back down her body again to end up where you need to be, but so much more aggressively than when he did it the first time, duh]

Bea: [moaning his name because you have to say something at this point and that’s the only suitable substitute really as you’re here struggling against this pin more as a way to shamelessly move against him and what he’s doing]

Fraze: [the way he’d be moving against her too is frankly dangerous given y’all’s lack of clothes, get back to this oral please before y’all end up having unprotected sex on this day, there’s already a newborn child y’all are gonna have to raise]

Bea: [the way you’re going to cum at least once before you let yourself say this and lose, heavy quotation marks there, literally until you cannot handle it anymore ‘cos you know it’s the only way he’s gonna stop this]

Fraze: [it’s the immediate ‘I love you too’ as soon as she’s said it, and the way he then moves to makeout with her again with only slightly less chill even though I’m sure his jaw feels like it’s gonna fall off because he doesn’t care about that]

Bea: [we’re holding his face with the softness we first did because thinking the same thing but not concerned enough to stop kissing you]

Fraze: [not gonna stop til you’re forced to by needing to take a breath or whatever because too !! about everything that’s just happened, and even then, barely moving away to take said breath, just enough that it’s his turn to look at her with his biggest eyes because what a day we’re having, playing with her hair again because we can all imagine the state it’s in]

Bea: [just stroking his cheek and doing your own mini hot lol because our sentiments exactly ‘should’ve dumped her earlier’ as if you’ve wasted longer than a week or whatever with that lil relationship]

Fraze: [‘you should’ve said’ because he immediately dumped her the literal second Bea told him to, iconic behaviour that he is completely unrepentant about]

Bea: [‘you shouldn’t need telling’ jabbing him, gently though lol, in said cheek]

Fraze: [‘I did though’ said casually but his eyes are not at all casually spelling out that he needed her to tell him how she felt about this]

Bea: [‘need and want are different things’ like he just wants to hear you say these things like you just did there and then]

Fraze: [‘not to us’ because he is v much a everything he wants he will go after like it is a need, like all the mcvickers kids he doesn’t know how to want or like anything casually, it’s gotta be all-consuming and literally drive him on]

Bea: [when you obviously agree in the way he means it so doing a one-shoulder shrug like well yeah, true]

Fraze: [‘am who I am’ with his own shrug, emphasising this by finding another bottle of booze out of the stash, because I think the one they were on was empty, and lighting cigarettes for both of them, looking amazing doing this, excuse him]

Bea: [smoke this cigarette and at least find your skirt and blouse to throw back on because basically naked here, go to the window/the place where the window will be, idk the vibe, looking out to see what you can see from here and if anyone is about]

Fraze: [join her, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind and resting your head on the top of hers to have a look because it’s fun, you can do the thing where you imagine living here and thus mess about imagining your fictional neighbours while you smoke and have a drink and give her some time to recover from however many orgasms she ended up having there, I’d like to note he isn’t getting dressed properly at all because this boy does not give a single shit and walks around topless always lol]

Bea: [can we appreciate you’ve not ever been able to be this close ‘cos you aren’t JoeRay and thus can’t play it off as sibling intimacy although like, they a little old for that everyone but we get it, look the other way; so the way we’re just looking up at you, not even joining in but listening and engaged, obviously ‘don’t have to know your neighbours in London’ like won’t matter at all when we live there because everyone keeps to themselves, as is the stereotype]

Fraze: [the grin he’s gonna shamelessly do when she says this because it’s the stereotype but it’s also the dream, everyone is well aware you have childhood trauma from the debt era and the idea of anyone coming to the door still puts you on edge to this day, my poor boy ‘don’t get no garden for footie neither’ but said like it’s a worth it sacrifice we’re very willing to make]

Bea: [‘you’ll be a bit old’ like it’s so childish to play football past school-age lol, nudging him ‘unless that’s how you plan to afford living there’]

Fraze: [a frown like excuse you, when you were thinking of the kids you blatantly wanna have when you’re older but you don’t wanna verbalise that to her rn because you know that’s a weird thing to already be thinking about as a 13 year old boy but what can I say, he’s 13 going on 31 ‘old as to be picked out for none of that’ because they scout kids so early to be footballers it’s wild]

Bea: [wrapping your arms around him like don’t frown at me grumpy, taking the bottle to have a swig ‘cos you haven’t yet this time around, also I think boys are just as romantic as girls if not more so ‘cos they legit think things are going to happen like that whereas a lot of girls feel like they’re deluding themselves despite the signs they’re given and I said what I said on that ‘they don’t even play it properly here’ as if you’re consoling him about being past it]

Fraze: [I wholeheartedly agree my boo, but going by his friends in this era I get why you’re keeping your mouth closed on the subject atm sir, tipping the bottle up playfully when she takes her swig cos he knows she can hack it and won’t even flinch never mind choke like so many peeps would if he did that ‘loads I can do else, I ain’t worried’ because he genuinely isn’t, the confidence and the willingness to grind and hustle are too real already for this boy]

Bea: [mhmm, boys put on the front so hard, why we gotta lads, why; and you right, drinking however much drink is getting poured into our mouth here like its easy because there’s no alternative soz, and when it is just a given you agree with this so you aren’t even replying to it ‘what do you think he’ll do?’ meaning Joe because only one older than y’all and thus the one who will go out into the world first]

Fraze: [when you don’t wanna think about it because your thoughts are BAD like he’ll be dead or a crackhead and soz hun that you aren’t wrong, so just shaking his head with his jaw so firmly set like no I don’t wanna go there and talk about that]

Bea: [shouldn’t have gone there hun but we’re not an apologizer and think that this should be being addressed way more than it is by anyone, not that y’all can do much yourselves but here we are, walk away from him and the window ‘cos even if you’re not apologising you still know what you said and you should give him space]

Fraze: [when you’re also that bitch so what frustrates you most is there is nothing you can do + the fact this is hard for you to talk about because you’re not a bitch who holds back on your opinions ever usually so that’s frustrating too, take a sec to push all that back down how you gotta and then come back and take the bottle back like it’s casual]

Bea: [raising a brow as he takes it like oh okay, it’s that time again, finding your bra so you can put that back on and be fully dressed here]

Fraze: [when you don’t want her to be fully dressed or the vibe to change, especially not because of Joseph, full offence hun, so another playfight has gotta ensue over that bra when she finds it and before she can put it on like no don’t, the lack of fucks given if this bottle fully falls to the floor and smashes, priorities always]

Bea: [when that’s exactly why you were getting dressed so you’re like excuse me sir, folding your arms like fine ‘keep it, pervert’ as if that’s the tea here lmao because at least some of this tension is diffused]

Fraze: [gonna have to say you at least put your trousers back on earlier purely so you can stuff said bra in the pocket and fold your own arms like okay I will]

Bea: [just looking at his pockets silently thinking don’t forget that’s there before you throw them in the wash because imagine]

Fraze: [getting out and giving her another sherbet lemon from his pocket as if that’s what she wanted and it isn’t just that he wants to do the absolute most putting that into her mouth]

Bea: [rolling your eyes playfully like omg, subtle much because you haven’t reciprocated yet and now we’re both thinking about it ‘aren’t you supposed to ask too?’ once you’ve eventually put this sweet in your mouth and stopped playing with it on your tongue]

Fraze: [‘don’t you want to?’ as if she’s just asked him to beg and he’s like in no world will I because never has for anything ever and never will, he’s as stubborn as I am, sweaty]

Bea: [crossing your arms in front of you in an X like incorrect, shrugging like sorry lollollol]

Fraze: [doing his own shrug like whatever then because like I said, as stubborn as me]

Bea: [shaking your head as you go again to find your bag and your phone to look at the time because your loss so literally this time boy]

Fraze: [letting her even though it is his loss, so me vibes, sir why are we like this?]

Bea: [my boo says oh boy, we gotta sort this out lmao, we are equally as stubborn in this way though ‘cos are going to blatantly just be walking out ‘cos what else can you do if you’re not gonna relent]

Fraze: [‘where you going?’ before she can actually leave, cos obvs, don’t want you to gal and we know you don’t really want that either]

Bea: [‘don’t know’ because Tess is still on maternity leave at this point so you can’t go home until you’re meant to, leaning against the door/where the door would be like are you coming or what are we doing here]

Fraze: [throw her bra at her, in a casual not aggressive way like you’ll need this if you’re really leaving, making no move to himself because likewise nowhere to go and we like it here]

Bea: [dropping some info about the kids you hang around with like so and so said they were going here to do xyz, whatever boring shit you find to do as kids who can’t do much, after school, like assumed you’d wanna be there because it’s probably getting towards schools out time soon, just ignoring our bra wherever it is]

Fraze: [just making a face that shows how little he cares about any of those peeps or what they are doing because that is and will always be the tea, soz to said peeps but not really]

Bea: [doing a small sound of amusement at his reaction ‘doubt [his ex] will show her face’ as if that’s why he doesn’t want to, ‘cos clearly not that type to front it out to try and make it awkward] 

Fraze: [‘give less of a fuck, like’ because truly, she has not crossed his mind all day and he isn’t gonna spare her a thought now]

Bea: [just doing a smile with the same energy as your amusement there ‘they’re boring’ just like it’s a fact because it is to us]

Fraze: [‘every cunt but you’ also like it’s a fact because he’s always said that]’

Bea: [sitting back down, still in this doorway moment but it’s clear we aren’t going to walk out right this second so there’s no need to act like it ‘what are we gonna do, about them all, keeping it a secret?’]

Fraze: [‘forget ‘em all, we go where we want and do what we like, if they’re about for any of it, can count themselves proper lucky’ the way he’s casually like I don’t need friends, they were always an afterthought and now they are in my way so bye]

Bea: [just staring at him for a sec like you have to gauge if he’s being serious when you already know he always is, not at all casually crawling over to wherever he is still so you can be up in his grill ‘unlucky, I was just about to say you could have another girlfriend’ ‘cos thinking you might have to attempt to do that if you were serious, even though we know you couldn’t do it and you know that yourself lol]

Fraze: [‘no you weren’t’ cos we all remember how jealous she got over that one despite the fact he clearly wasn’t even that into it lol ‘I make my own luck and own decisions, reckon I can do better than repeating that bullshit on both counts without having to do much’ like no thanks we won’t be attempting that again]

Bea: [nod like yeah, I was, ‘cos saying and doing are two different things honey ‘do you?’ being as close as you can get to his face without your lips touching]

Fraze: [shaking his head at the same time as he reaches for her face to make her shake hers to doubly be like NO YOU WEREN’T again because the levels he never ever wants to hear that suggestion come out of her mouth, uni era included, then touching her lips when she’s that in his grill, as if there’s some stray sherbet on them he just has to get, by really quickly running his tongue over them, nbd]

Bea: [pouting at him for doing that so quickly and shaking your head some more about it like unacceptable, thank you, hoping the way your mouth looks is reminding him of what he could be doing rn]

Fraze: [literally stopping her head mid shake by kissing her, we know he’s gotta because can’t resist]

Bea: [got to kiss you in a way that is really driving home what that mouth do, not soz about it]

Fraze: [if you can ever stop kissing for a single sec given what her mouth can do, saying her name in a way that makes it beyond obvious he’s asking now the way he would not earlier]

Bea: [not gonna be cruel about it and are blatantly also wanting to do this for our own reasons here as well as wanting to show you how it feels, so wasting no time at all in making the show out of working your way down and dealing with his trousers once again]

Fraze: [me like oh boy you gonna DIE, this gal knows too much, I hope it’s not embarrassingly fast so she does actually get chance to show off a lil bit because some good should come out of all the horrible reasons she has those skills in the first place]

Bea: [at least we’ve given y’all a cool off time so you’ll have to work him up and you aren’t just making him cum immediately, not that you would care or be a bitch but y’all deserve to make the most out of this moment]

Fraze: [they do deserve that and they are so welcome, live your best lives lads because you can’t stay here forever however much you might wanna and you definitely can’t hook up here, not on my watch, so enjoy this moment, both of y’all]

Bea: [mhmm, you’ve got to show some concern for safety because the way no one needs a baby right now cannot be overstated]

Fraze: [mcvickers are an excellent advert for contraception for y’all, beating even feral teen hormones, no offence guys but it’s true, especially for baze who have got big plans and are busy]

Bea: [will be getting a doctors appointment immediately tah, not even bothered about the inevitable convo that will illicit because you can’t just do these things privately as a child, they’d have to let mcvickers know, but we’re not thinking about that here and now as we’re lying on your chest]

Fraze: [likewise will be stealing condoms from a shop immediately I’m sure, probably on your way home when you have to go later lbr cos mcvickers don’t need to know about that, and god knows if your school is handing them out to you because ireland is an actual madness so probably don’t rely on that possibility, ANYWAY, rn just here DYING and DEAD]

Bea: [‘better?’ whether we mean do you feel better after that, was that better than you imagined or some combination or inbetween answer is unclear but we’re grinning up at you]

Fraze: [a nod because regardless he do feel better and that was better than he imagined so either way, tis a yes from him and he can’t speak rn cos that dead about it]

Bea: [kiss his cheek and just be looking at how cute he is ‘so glad your parents room is downstairs’ as a whisper ‘cos near his ear and truly ‘not just ‘cos the baby is down there with ‘em’ at least that’s something kids]

Fraze: [gotta do your own grin at her because hard same always but especially now that you’ve done all this and you’re both thinking about what else there is still to do, and he’s very much thinking about how loud he can get away with making her be]

Bea: [laugh but also hide in your massive hair because you’re blushing thinking about this too ‘we’re doing it in your room’ as an FYI as we’re untangling you from our hair that is inevitably getting you too]

Fraze: [he loves it because she’s not one of these gals who is always blushing about things, just having a casual playfight with her hair because there is so much of it, helping her out with what she’s trying to do but actually hindering because being distracting, giving her a o clock like it’s a date she’s showing up to his room for, cos we’ve already said earlier in this convo when we wrote it before that tonight is the night, why would they wait when they’ve waited long enough]

Bea: [‘if I’ve finished my homework’ like it’s so casual and we are that swot for real, shrugging like you’ll have to wait and see, boy]

Fraze: [an eye roll as if she’s being serious when we know she isn’t ‘alright, fine, I’ll use a teacher voice when I tell you how good it was’ like he’s gonna give her a grade for this/say something like the comments they write on the bottom of your work]

Bea: [pushing him which means pushing yourself up so you’re leaning over him, tickling his face with your hair ‘yeah, right’ ‘cos that’s so not your style ‘if you was gonna you’d give a one word answer and that’d probably be alright’]

Fraze: [‘stop telling us to shut up and you might get more out of it, and me’ because she do keep saying that, but saying it like he absolutely doesn’t ever want her to stop saying it because it’s been hot af every single time]

Bea: [‘are you asking me to be nice to you?’ raising a brow and running your fingers across the plains of his face and down his neck to his collarbones ‘I can be nice’ like he’s just suggested you cannot]

Fraze: [echoing her ‘yeah, right’ from a sec ago, because not her style and we all know he doesn’t want it to be really lol, pulling her closer to him though just automatically like this is a competition and you’ve gotta prove you can be nicer/are the nice one]

Bea: [‘yeah, right’ with yes I am and now you shall see emphasis in how we are saying it now, paired with hugging him in the softest way you can muster like you’re this sort of girl]

Fraze: [pushing her away like he’s HORRIFIED lol because she isn’t that sort of girl and he isn’t that sort of boy like okay you win but don’t make a habit of that thank you]

Bea: [shaking your head like how rude but that’s how you knew he’d react thus why you did it]

Fraze: [pulling her back in though purely because the novelty of being this close to each other hasn’t worn off and he loves that he can if he wants to, sitting her on him the way they started this way back when they first got to this house]

Bea: [making the smallest noise of contentment about being like this again, even if you’re also !! ‘cos of what you know you can’t do yet and how easy it would be to]

Fraze: [‘why the fuck wouldn’t I stash them here when I done the rest?’ because made a point to leave a lil booze stash here but you didn’t think of leaving any contraception here, rookie mistake, cos reading her mind there]

Bea: [we know why so our look is conveying as much ‘should by rights make you wait ages, anyway’ like that’s what most of your friends will be dealing with ‘cos y’all are younger than the standard losing your v age rn so true ‘if ever’]

Fraze: [‘you have’ because how it feels given he’s been in love with her essentially his entire life, even though you are still babies basically]

Bea: [a short nod because obviously it feels the same for us ‘I’m not waiting any longer, there’s no point, you can’t say shit about it anyway’ because it’s not as if he can go and tell the world you’re a hoe, which is what most gals are afraid of and we wouldn’t even care anyway]

Fraze: [‘I wouldn’t say shit’ because he wouldn’t, not about her ever, he’d literally kill anyone who did and he’s said that before so]

Bea: [‘you know what I mean’ because we all know you have to keep this secret, as unfair as that seems at times]

Fraze: [‘I know we’ll not get caught, yeah’ said like it’s a given again because to y’all it is, you know you’re those bitches who can be sneaky and pull this off]

Bea: [‘we never do’ because you truly always have been ‘we don’t want to, is why’ rolling your eyes ‘cos think JoeRay are just shameless attention seekers, even if their need for attention is valid]

Fraze: [a sigh at joeray cos they are really pissing him off always but especially lately, soz y’all don’t know Ray’s death is looming and therefore think things are gonna like this aka this frustrating for ages yet ‘dunno how we’re related’ cos not all like them and it’s a point of pride for you at this point]

Bea: [things are peaking with how bad they are because she’s dying at the end of July and it’s May so, not long but as far as you know they’re just getting worse and worse with no end in sight ‘know the feeling’ with a nudge because we feel similarly about Rosaline, even as the 8 year old she is right now lmao]

Fraze: [shaking his head in a fuck the lot of them type of way because cba to waste time thinking or talking about any of them if they’re gonna suck this hard, same as his friends, the way baze are lowkey sociopaths a lil bit amuses me ‘they don’t live here’ like y’all do and you can just keep enjoying being here forever, idk if there’s stairs in this place or what but regardless, carrying her to a different ‘room’ of this house and kick drawing a bed shape in the dust with his foot to then lay her down on and makeout with her again]

Bea: [the truth is they do care really but they’re not going to sacrifice themselves to try and save any of y’all, soz you’re flopping rn and they have to protect their peace fam; with that in mind making out with you like we truly never have to leave and it can just be y’all and this house that isn’t a house yet ‘I just need you’ in between these kisses]

Fraze: [just be here showing her how much you need her too by kissing her like your life depends on it sir]

Bea: [biting his bottom lip gently but insistently because you’re very !! even if you don’t know exactly what you’re asking for here]

Fraze: [doing a noise about it that’s very !! by his standards, dryhumping her as insistently because it’s blatant what they both wanna do here but can’t, while also touching her way more indecently that the first time he did it, for the same reason, like as hardcore as when they were having their competition to make each other cum, but that’s the level he’s starting at this time]

Bea: [following his lead and coming in harder than you were letting yourself, touching him with the same franticness that is required when there’s too much to ever be said about all your many emotions right now and in general ‘give it to me’ v much like I’m gonna win this time but also just to say it]

Fraze: [REALLY really doing the most to fuck her without that actually and accidentally happening is the entire frantic and feral vibe of this moment ‘you need it’ like she needs the win because she lost before but we’re just saying it because she said she needs him but a moment ago at the start of this makeout sesh]

Bea: [‘I want it’ pointing out that the subtle differences between the two don’t change the outcome of what is gonna happen here, obviously our voice sounds ridiculously indecent, very much doing the most to you too as well as moving against you and egging you on with our reactions]

Fraze: [doing his headshake whilst grabbing her face to make her shake hers too thing he did earlier but so much harder about how he grabs her with it because the feralness of this moment, despite the fact he said earlier there is no difference between want and need, he’s VERY much here like no you NEED it, kissing her as aggressively as he ever has again]

Bea: [pushing your head against his with the same intensity, holding his in place to stop y’all moving for a moment so you can be LOOKING into his eyes with absolutely no space between you ‘please’ saying it super quietly but with all the !! possible]

Fraze: [‘you know I-’ stopping yourself cos you were gonna say you want to and you’re like fuck that ‘need you too’ as !! because could not be more desperate to go there and do this right here and right now ‘but you’ve gotta stay smart, not behave how a thick cunt would ‘cause of me’]

Bea: [doing a little grumpy face that is pure frustration but of course you don’t wanna get pregnant or anything so you’re not disagreeing you’re just acknowledging how hard it is to not go there right now for you too ‘I’ll always be smart’ like you don’t have to worry about me because there is enough to worry about for you both and we’re not down with being added to the list]

Fraze: [‘I’ll always love you, like I said’ no notes, because he’s feeling that same frustration atm but not at you gal and he knows how smart you are/have always been/will always be, so he’s not worried]

Bea: [‘you can do it forever then’ like soon we won’t have to stop ourselves and if you mean always we’ve got loads of time to make up for this here and now]

Fraze: [‘til you get properly old and the only time we talk is when you’re telling us to do one’ with a lol as if you’re gonna be the cliche old peeps who hate each other but are still together]

Bea: [‘I’m not getting old’ not like Imma die before then vibes just that we will never be a cliche old lady because the only experience you have is your nan and that was not a mood or a moment to replicate thank you ‘if you do then I will tell you to piss off’]

Fraze: [just a look and almost imperceptible nod because that makes so much sense, nothing about her has or ever will be a cliche, saying something one of their teachers likes to say when she gets an answer right, in a good but OTT impression of said teacher, because right answer on both counts] 

Bea: [‘you’re too handsome to be ignored’ like I could never, giving you another lovebite right on his jawline because the !! has gone nowhere]

Fraze: [putting the Jesus and Christ he’s both said earlier together when she does that with a fucking in the middle because really !! ‘don’t then’ and carrying on where they left off by moving so dramatically against her because HAVE TO, pressing down on the inner thigh lovebite he gave her during the oral again without looking cos like her scar he just knows exactly where it is]

Bea: [‘I can’t’ because that is true and blatantly so from the girlfriend debacle and how hard that was to keep up even for that short length of time, kissing your way to his earlobe so you can give him a lovebite there too, right as he’s grabbing that spot on your thigh making you say your own curse prayer again]

Fraze: [‘I can’t wait ‘til tonight’ said with the pure frustration of feeling like you’ll literally pass away if you’re not actually inside her soon because how it feels ‘you’re the smart one, think of something’ like she can magic up a solution for this]

Bea: [‘don’t then’ not ‘cos you’re actually gonna let him but because you’re fairly sure that this, teamed with the way you’re moving to take off your pants like you’re doing this will send him over the edge]

Fraze: [me like oh girl you’re SO right, of course it will, no notes]

Bea: [you thought of something, girl, now lie here and try to recover]

Fraze: [cupping her cheek as gently as she did his right back at the very very start, because she is the smart one and he is having a what a mind moment here about it, kissing her cheek the way he did when she was the one who cupped his cheek but more !! because the feels are somehow even higher always]

Bea: [just closing your eyes and making a soft little moan noise because you love him so much, taking hold of his hand and rubbing it against your whole face basically, kissing the side of his thumb and opening your eyes again to 🥺 at him]

Fraze: [‘I dunno how to tell you you’re loads more than pretty neither’ because not just a pretty face, she’s so so smart and he’s actually in awe of it and always has been, a throwback to when he said he didn’t know how to tell her she was pretty earlier, cos I can, resting his forehead against hers like, that brain tho fr]

Bea: [‘you can’t hide it from me’ once your foreheads are pressed together, ‘cos we know you and we know how you feel about us, that’s not in doubt at this point, not at all, even when you inevitably had to hang out with your own friends more and try to give space because you were trying for the look of it to your parents and such, we still were never like oh Fraze HATES me now ‘cos not that bitch and we knew what it was about]

Fraze: [‘no cunt’s telling the bones of me what to do’ like nope, I can’t and won’t because he’s always wanted her to know how he feels and soz mcvickers but you can’t stop him, when you’re just admitting you’re in love with her to a literal bone deep level nbd]

Bea: [‘you know what to do’ not even as a saucy suggestion but validating that we see you as equally as smart and capable as us because we do, we are kissing you though, obviously, lest we say anything else that is far more blatant, as if it matters]

Fraze: [‘to you, with you, for the forever you’ve said I can have’ a nod like yeah I do ‘I’ve some ideas’ because he’s here having imagined your whole future life, house and kids and all, we all know it and he is forever unrepentant]

Bea: [‘together’ as confirmation you agree and are here for it, smirking like oh yeah? ‘Cos we don’t doubt that ‘it’s a surprise or?’ like you gonna tell me]

Fraze: [‘when we’re there, you won’t be able to shut us up showing off about how my plan came together’ like just you wait and enjoy your peace and quiet while you can lol, Winnie play mastermind, as if this is all his masterplan whatever their life ends up looking like]

Bea: [shaking your head as an oh you but also so you can just nuzzle your face against his with it too ‘take all the credit then’ like oi but also do it ‘cos we don’t care, as long as it happens]

Fraze: [‘you know what I want’ like it’s a given and also remember when you said that and how true it also is about this because it is, of course she does ‘and what’s mine’ll be yours if fuck all goes according to plan’ because getting married is obvs step 1 after moving in together which you’ve already discussed while you’ve been in this house, soz it isn’t in your real life lads because the twins happen but y’all have no way to know rn]

Bea: [just staying quiet because there are so many practicalities to this vision you don’t need to contemplate right now at this age and you aren’t going to be the one to piss over it all, just here touching his skin again wherever takes your fancy ‘cos you can]

Fraze: [just here thinking about when he said that he’d marry her as a kid and mcvickers pissed all over it in a I’d like to see you try this time, fuckers, manner, taking her hand and rubbing his over her ring finger absentmindedly as he thinks this like he can leave a bruise or something in the shape and place of where a ring would be purely from wanting it enough]

Bea: [‘do you think your parents will?’ ‘cos famously not married out here]

Fraze: [‘only if one of them’s dying from something and they see it coming’ v cynical but practical that they would so that all the legal shit is easier]

Bea: [‘mine were’ even if he knows this because slightly mad that they found the time but they were those sort of romantics like that, despite their age]

Fraze: [a nod, whether she can see or feel it, depending how y’all are positioned atm, because I feel like he would know that and he too is that romantic so he approves of it more so than he does the way mcvickers love story looks, despite there obviously being elements of that he also thinks are romantic af]

Bea: [we’re not judging you mcvickers ‘can’t imagine your mum in a dress like that’ because imagining the full princess moment and it is amusing]

Fraze: [making a face that I hope she can see because it would be so funny ‘she’d never, he’d be in the dress before her’ not shading you Fearghal but where’s the lie on Tess never rocking a meringue ever, and lowkey are shading Tommy for fully wearing dresses as a kid and Joe for being the emo he is in eyeliner and nail polish and everything so]

Bea: [loling because we’re lying here looking at you and that face was iconic, as are the mental images this is all conjuring ‘thank fuck it isn’t a show the little ones can force them to put on’ ‘cos imagining the dramatics that would ensue from everyone now]

Fraze: [‘it ain’t that funny’ in that ugh my family way of being a teen and the mcvickers fam actually being so weird but we know he doesn’t really give a fuck what anybody thinks and that he’s loling too because it’s contagious and he’s happy rn and there’s distance from it here ‘shut up’ but in the least shut up way ever and only the hottest way ever like don’t how they have all day, kissing her about it because the lol was cute]

Bea: [purposefully keeping laughing for the bit now like no excuse me I must ‘how bad can you look in a suit?’ like come on, you’ll be fine babe]

Fraze: [trying to cut off her lols with kisses any and everywhere he can, ending up doing the most to her earlobe so he can say in her ear ‘do you mean me or other cunts in general?’ and then reminding her of someone whether that’s a teacher or a neighbour or whoever who looks like total shit in a suit, you know the vibe]

Bea: [being distracted by what he’s doing on your ear like oh okay, sorry to this man ‘it doesn’t matter what anyone else looks like to me’ like I only notice you and you know it]

Fraze: [‘you’ll wanna marry us, how good I’ll look’ no notes, just saying he’d look that good in a suit during this mcvickers fictional wedding that she’d want to get him in one and down the aisle as soon as she can]

Bea: [doing your own ‘shut up’ and kissing you some more about it]

Fraze: [obviously picking her up and carrying her bridal style around this house including through a doorway, but please don’t do the actual way out cos y’all are not clothed enough lol, kissing her the entire time without stopping, not caring at all what you bump into or the carnage you could cause]

Bea: [telling him to stop and smacking him in the very don’t actually stop way that goes with how you’re kissing him back despite any protesting you’re doing in between]

Fraze: [finding the bottle and making her pick it up and have a drink and give you one as if y’all are doing wedding toasts/drinking to yourselves and this imminent marriage, not putting her down or stopping kissing her ever, getting in a mess with this booze about it]

Bea: [not y’all getting in this total mess when you’ve gotta go home, soz we’re too into it to care that we’re going to smell like booze so hardcore, tis decadence like you have not experienced before casually]

Fraze: [thank god mcvickers have a baby to contend with and won’t notice because the fucks y’all are not giving with your lovebites and your reeking of booze, god bless, make the most of this freedom before everything goes to shit and you’re lowkey raising that baby your damn selves]

Bea: [oh it’s already lowkey the least of their worries and soon will be in the realest way, already getting overlooked tbh, oh lads]

Fraze: [mhmm, I love you mcvickers and I always will but you know what you did]

Bea: [soz to do this to y’all but somethings gotta give]

Fraze: [speaking of, we should probably make y’all leave this house soon even if you don’t go home yet but I don’t wanna lol, we love it here]

Bea: [you will have to at some point, can always have someone come through this building site and spook y’all into leaving, even if that person is also just another person(s) dicking about when they shouldn’t be]

Fraze: [that’s a good idea, clearly nobody is working on it rn for whatever reason hence y’all are here but all the more reason for peeps to notice that once school is out, cos we said it’s getting near that o clock and come through]

Bea: [won’t let y’all literally be walked in on in this compromising position but you can get your clothes on and duck out before they do, taking whatever is left of the stash with you]

Fraze: [my boo says not on my watch and she’s so real for that, tbf if they are loud af older teen idiots like I’m imagining you’d defs hear them coming a mile off, running their mouths and have time to do that, we’re not even being unrealistic there]

Bea: [agreed and this clearly isn’t the only building or anything so it’s not like this is the only place to go for these boys probably pissing about with things and causing damage so run run before they see y’all ‘cos cba with having that run in]

Fraze: [love the not getting caught for y’all really validating that baze are boss babes and can do and get away with anything they want, such a mood, run run as fast as you can and have the cliched but iconic moment of eventually stopping and being all breathless and grinning cos you won again and LOOKING at each other]

Bea: [when you make a good team and nobody can deny it, hence whatever street corner we’re now on and however breathless we are we’re launching ourselves at you to have a cinematic kiss about it]

Fraze: [I love that for y’all even more because okay technically you’re very much not kissing publicly because nobody is around and even if they are it’s clearly nobody y’all know, but it’s as close to being a couple as you’re allowed to be in this era, hence really being peak romance about how he’s kissing her back here]

Bea: [like this is definitely nowhere near your home and your chances of being caught in a way that would genuinely matter are clearly slim but the way we had to kiss you without going into all this thought truly is it for me, like we were not thinking too hard even though it is fine and we clearly knew that in the back of our head]

Fraze: [agreed, I am living for and about that because one thing about this gal her brain is never off, why I stan cos same sis, what a great time we’ve all ended up having, so glad we revisited this]

Bea: [we’re all living hun, here saying his name ‘cos it won’t be the same when you have to say it again at home]

Fraze: [that’s true, say hers in response for the same reason and just also because you’re not over being able to say it like this yet]

Bea: [reacting physically to him saying your name like he did so much more ‘how am I meant to concentrate?’ ‘cos ages ‘til it’s an acceptable time for y’all to piss off to bed and we’re too into you to just be chilling doing normal after-school nonsense]

Fraze: [‘concentrate on thinking about me’ as if that’s any kind of solution sir, meanwhile he’s here putting her hair back up into the bun it started in because you can’t tell me she had time to do that before they ran, but not really, he’s very much just pulling her hair into his hand and kissing her neck very dramatically, going over the very first lovebite he did and making it more extra because he wasn’t being as !! then]

Bea: [‘not risky at all’ with a smirk that gives away that the opposite is true, obviously ‘but as long as you think about me’ with a shrug like I suppose we’ll be equal, gripping at his hair and pushing his head against you harder ‘cos any level is never enough and you can always go harder]

Fraze: [when you don’t even have to verbalise your lil catchphrase of no risk, no reward that your son and grandson have both stolen because you’re living it that hard now and acting it out with how much harder he’s going after being egged on by her like that, likewise true of what he’s going to be thinking about, it’s too blatant to need to be said when he can say her name again  indecently instead and push her up against the nearest wall, wherever that may be, I’m sure it’s probably lowkey the side of someone’s house but y’all do not care]

Bea: [GASPING at how he says your name, yet again ‘if you call me that in front of the rest I’m going to be so mad at you’ pulling him into us by his waist because mad clearly doesn’t mean what it says on the tin here]

Fraze: [‘it’s your name, babe’ like you can’t get ‘mad’ at him for saying it, saying babe with the same energy like okay is this any better, purely because living for the reactions ‘what else am I gonna call you?’ said like they are both THINKING about all the indecent af alternatives, as if he’d drop something like that in front of the fam lol]

Bea: [‘then you’ll have to ignore me’ because simply unacceptable I’m afraid, it sounds too good when you say it, bunching his school shirt up in your fists with the babe and shaking your head like that won’t work either]

Fraze: [‘I can’t’ echoing when she said it, and doing the most as per to show her how true that is by really pushing himself into her in exactly the right place] 

Bea: [‘we have to do this’ being vague intentionally as to whether you mean keeping the secret or literally doing what you’re doing right now, both work tbh]

Fraze: [keep doing what you’re doing as if that’s entirely what she means because yolo]

Bea: [wrap your arms around the back of his neck and let him support the full weight of your body against his, kisses going between soft and intense and teasing and messy seemingly at random as the urge takes us, trying them all out, also calling you ‘babe’ like we’re purely parroting you to take the piss but we’re also seeing how that feels in this scenario]

Fraze: [holding her waist and pulling her in closer with the same energy, matching or being completely contrasting about his kisses back as the mood likewise takes him, only pausing to LOOK at her when she says that because of the way it HIT, ofc it did]

Bea: [raising a brow like what? As if you don’t know, so then you’re pulling his head to you so you can say it some more in his ear, peppered in with his name like heheh]

Fraze: [don’t mind this boy here going so red and getting so flustered, nothing to see here anyone else, obvs he’s gotta pull her head to him with even more !! and kiss her very dramatically, including a lip bite that is so much less gentle than the one she did to him earlier, no other response is acceptable]

Bea: [the least subtle reaction of all time, so much so you gotta pull away and look around like whoops ‘smart, yeah?’ because we are not giving but we’re not actually pissed off with ourselves about it rn here because clearly no one you know is just chilling]

Fraze: [‘always’ because she said it earlier and it’s just true, she is, in her ear just to be in her ear because she was his earlier and we can pretend we’ve gotta because that reaction was so unsubtle, giving her a lovebite behind her ear where it’ll easily be hidden by all the hair she has cos again more subtle than the earlobe one he has and not matching but almost, it goes without saying how roughly he’s once again pulling that out of the way to do it]

Bea: [‘you’re too distracting’ like you’re making great effort here to be doing anything that isn’t reacting to everything he’s doing to you, play pushing him into this wall he pinned you up against]

Fraze: [‘I ain’t sorry I get to distract you like this’ too true because of how long they’ve both wanted anything like this to happen, overwhelming in the best possible ways, again pulling her into him because cannot get close enough ever, almost pulling her over with the !! of it]

Bea: [‘me either’ with the most blissed out sigh because lord knows you need distracting sometimes girl, being fully on top of you again like you got nowhere to be, just heart eyes ‘I want you’]

Fraze: [‘you want a distraction that ain’t bullshit’ because lord knows y’all have enough distractions that are bad rn and there are only more coming, little do you know ‘you need me’ yet again saying there’s no distinction but then making one, oh boy you do amuse me]

Bea: [‘the bullshit is the rest, until we can have what we want’ soz you’re such babies and you’ve got a ways to go before you can be fully on the track you’ve already decided you wanna be on, so for now kiss this boy as confirmation because yes to both want and need]

Fraze: [kiss her back as your confirmation that the bullshit is and has always been the rest, because couldn’t agree more, and at least now you are taking steps towards what you want, baby steps though they may be]

Bea: [you’re getting their kids, soz about the massive setback you’re about to be dealt, like]

Fraze: [we’re cruel cruel girls, enjoy your blissful ignorance while you have it though, even if you’re probably gonna have to move from where you are cos the peeps whose house this is are probs gonna appear from doing the school run or whatever like excuse you, start walking, however half-heartedly]

Bea: [mhmm, get your booty butts into gear, not you brushing your hand against his whilst you walk but not actually holding it]

Fraze: [why did I almost scream because I love that so much, it’s so y’all’s vibe well done boo, meanwhile I’m gonna need him to steal flowers out of someone else’s garden because of the birthday tradition and what she said about only getting flowers once a year, excuse us whoever’s garden that is]

Bea: [an absolute must, you are that bitch and you will be secretly so thrilled even if outwardly you’re loling like oh you ‘gift you stole is still a gift, suppose’ because how y’all been living]

Fraze: [‘I’ll do better when we pass a shop’ because we all know he isn’t just gonna steal condoms, he’ll be getting her fave sweets and energy drinks so they can stay up and whatever else feelsy things he spots that he thinks she’ll like, not him tucking one of these flowers into her hair, it’s fine]

Bea: [‘we should take the baby out’ ‘cos thinking that if you give Tess that break so she can deal with the other kids and chill, you won’t have to do any other chores tonight because cba dealing with the rest of you and babies are easier]

Fraze: [‘still got it, babe’ because that is such a good idea and she is so smart even if she did have that lapse earlier, v necessarily though it was]

Bea: [linking your arms like you gotta to move forward and kick a random bit of rubbish out of your path right there, doing a little bow when you untangle and move back like yeah, I know ‘whilst he’s still a mute witness’ ‘cos thinking those other kids can’t keep their mouths closed, oh if only you knew the casual trauma Ali is being subjected to lol]

Fraze: [poor Ali, we really are the biggest bastards to her ‘don’t reckon we ever bother teaching the little fucker to talk, like’ said as if they don’t it won’t ever happen because mcvickers are being that lax, because I love me some foreshadowing and if y’all only knew the amount of childcare you’re about to get lumbered with]

Bea: [my boo says honey, you got a big storm coming and it’s too true ‘I’ll keep the list of excuses in code or in my head’ tapping his temple for emphasis, ‘cos we know you’re going to have to come up with plenty]

Fraze: [‘you’re good at thinking of ‘em’ cos remembering the dentist earlier and what a stroke of genius that was, just really emphasising he’s not worried and she’s got this because wholeheartedly think so ‘bet we’ll not run out before we leg it from here’ meaning ireland for london of course, not this street literally]

Bea: [‘you’re inspiring’ shamelessly thinking about when you baited him earlier by acting like y’all were gonna do it, hence we’re grinning rn ‘of course we won’t’ because who are you if not these hoes ‘we get what we want’ like lowkey never listening to a thing a professional/adult has wanted from us a day in our life but we can fake like we are, so we aren’t worried about anyone catching us out]

Fraze: [getting SO in her grill when she grins because love it and before today it’s probably been a minute since you had cause to see it, even prior to his gf debacle, there isn’t much to grin about on the daily atm, gently grabbing her bottom lip with his thumb and finger, LOOKING at where he bit it before ‘I want you’ to echo when she said it, and because he does, tis true]

Bea: [having to do the biggest, widest eyes at him because what else can you do when it is this mutual and he’s got you like this, biting his thumb but really gently, more just holding it briefly with your teeth]

Fraze: [‘fuck you’ like she’s just bitten his finger off, except not at all because it’s said exactly like an ILY, with all the feeling in the world, and as soft as he ever says anything]

Bea: [saying your ‘fuck you’ against his fingertips, still LOOKING at him, obviously because couldn’t be more into it and in love with you right now]

Fraze: [returning this LOOK with the biggest hearteyes attached to it because hard same, just pushing his fingers into her mouth more, playing with her tongue, all very gently and slowly still, because obviously that’s what we’re up to on this random street rn]

Bea: [brushing some hair behind your ears as a shameless excuse to touch the stem of the flower he put behind one of them as you’re encouraging him to do the most by lightly flicking your tongue against his prying fingers]

Fraze: [just here having the most unusual playfight via her tongue and his fingers don’t mind them, meanwhile also leaning well in so he can brush his lips against each of her knuckles individually while she’s touching that flower stem because they’re so soft and not all bruised and fucked up like his cos that type of boy]

Bea: [closing your eyes because that’s the softest gesture in the world and you can’t handle it, forgetting yourself and fully sucking his fingers into your mouth as well ‘cos excuse us, you can’t be that blatant you love us]

Fraze: [earning a turned on gasp about it which for him might as well be the loudest and most extra moan ever because so about that and we have to let you know it ‘everything you do is gonna do me in’ just really making sure she knows she’s killing you just by existing]

Bea: [a happy ‘yep’ like that’s the plan ‘fuck letting someone else try and fail’ full shade to that poor random girl and any others, tucking his hair (however needlessly) behind his ear with one hand and reaching into our bag to pull out a packet of cigarettes to put one behind his ear like its a flower]

Fraze: [‘you knock me the fuck out’ so much emphasis on the you because nobody else could even make him wobble and we all know it]

Bea: [when that’s such an old hollywood thing to say so you’re here floating, could burst, don’t mind us, put another cigarette in his mouth and light it for him but after he’s had the first drag, taking it off him to have your own, not before you’ve kissed him so he has to blow that smoke into your mouth]

Fraze: [everything about that is so cinematic and iconic, we stan, if we needed any proof at all that he loves her he HATES sharing anything but here he is letting her take that cigarette off him like it’s nothing, watching her take a drag because she always looks hot doing it, soz but that’s facts, kissing her so she has to also blow the smoke into his mouth, it’ll be an endless cycle, wait and see lol]

Bea: [that poor kid in a big family trauma is real and we respect it but y’all are having too much of a moment to not share this cigarette in the most romantic and intimately gross but not to y’all moment of your little lives ‘kill me right back’ also as a means to breathe smoke straight from our lungs into yours]

[daybreakrising]

@ccaptain:   Kaeya thinks that it's important to dare. a life without risk is a boring one- like a dish without a pinch of salt and pepper- bland. and the one he's about to undertake is an important one, one that must be dropped in order to see the reaction.

   he just so happens to be cuddled into Wriothesley's lap, legs comfortably crossed as his boyfriend decimates a pile of paperwork that threatens to be taller than Kaeya himself. as for the captain, he adjusts a shirt that clearly does not belong to him against his chest as he recounts a funny little episode with Lisa as the protagonist.

   ' -so, Mika got curious about you for an hot minute, and then she simply must be cheeky and tell the poor lad that you're a sweetheart, but a bit scary at first. and of course it's on purpose because he's an a boy made of anxiety. he starts shaking like a leaf, and this is where i step in! i look at her, pat Mika's shaking shoulde reassuringly and i say- '

   do not hesitate. drop it and see how he reacts, test the waters, test the waters-

   ' -and i say, watch out! this is my husband you're talking about, i can confirm that he's very much of a soft man- no need to be scared! the fear usually subsides after a few minutes- '

   there. the briefest flicker of pale diamond under lashes, from his lap to Wriothesley's face and then dancing away from his boyfriend's gaze. there's no redness on his face- not an excessive amount, barely a small flush that may be a warning signal- and a finger which toys with a lock of cobalt hair, twirling it around his finger as a stress relief.

   still, Kaeya keeps the chatter up. ' -so he calms down, and says that he'd be excited to meet you. Mika is very nice- a bit jumpy, but he knows his stuff... '

The sound of Kaeya's voice is soothing, comfortable. To an outside eye, it might appear as though Wriothesley is not fully listening to the words being spoken to him, but that would be incorrect. He hears everything, acknowledges the story being told, and there's a slight smile playing upon his lips as he listens.

He loves hearing about Kaeya's extended Mondstadt family. He's met a few of them already, but certainly not all of them, and he's always eager to get to know the people in Kaeya's life. Mika sounds... adorable, he decides, and adds him to the list of those he should get to know as soon as possible. And... yes, he might tease the lad by putting on his most intimidating facade when they first meet.

He's gotta have his fun, after all.

The reaction is slight, subtle. His pen pauses on the paper, mid-signature. There's the faintest hitch of his breath, a barely perceptible widening of his eyes. He feels the beginnings of heat creeping into his face, up from under his collar, and he swallows hard as he attempts to keep it at bay.

He finishes the signature and sets the report aside, laying it atop the pile of already completed paperwork. The pen is also set down, because his hands now have a new task: one slides into cobalt hair, the other gently grasps his partner by the chin and tips his face up to meet his.

The kiss is firm, deep, and full of heat. His hands slide down, grab Kaeya by the hips to manoeuvre him more securely into his lap, then snake up under the borrowed shirt to find skin.

He parts only because he has to. He's breathless, a little flushed in the face - he couldn't keep that heat at bay for long - and he can't stop the smile from spreading.

Husband. Oh, yes... he really likes the sound of that coming from Kaeya's lips. "I love you," he utters, his only explanation he'll give. "You know... I think it's time I took a break from work, no?"

[clairecrive]

lets say. shes a time traveller as well, and yes. maybe set when they return from france.

"A blessing in disguise" (Fergus Fraser x reader)

A/n: thank you for requesting! This somehow turned into a Fergus x reader. Hope you like it.

outlander masterlist taglist

"Just my damn luck," a girl's groan, "for fuck's sake, will you just move you piece of shit."

Walking through these woods, the last thing Jamie expected to hear was a girl's voice. And a colourful one at that. While he didn't understand every word, the tone was enough. Besides, Claire had used some of those once or twice.

"Hello?" he called trying to locate the poor lass.

"I'm here!" she exclaimed loudly but her voice came out strained. She must be stuck in some way, Jamie thought.

And sure enough, when he found her, the girl was laying on the floor constrained by a considerate piece of branch. Looks like it had fallen on her.

"Are you alright, lass?" He hurried to her side, trying to relieve her of the weight.

"Oh, yeah. Just laying here, having the time of my life," she huffed.

Jamie couldn't help but chuckle at her outburst. "Aye, should I leave you here then?"

"So funny, look I've pissed my pants." At this, Jamie stopped, arching a brow in confusion. What?

"Will you help me, please?" Putting aside his confusion for the moment, he took the branch in his hands and lifted it just so she was able to wiggle out from under it.

"Fucking finally!" Tossing her wild hair behind, she tried to stand on her feet. Unfortunately, the wood seemed to have pushed on one of her feet twisting it.

"Oh my god, of fucking course I have twisted my ankle. I must have been a bitch in another life to deserve this." She groaned looking at her foot. It was bent in the wrong way, Jamie had to admit.

While she was crouched on the floor holding her injured foot, Jamie took this as a chance to take her in. Her bizarre speech was matched by her unusual appearance. The clothes looked appropriate enough, but the coloured nails and the piece of metal swinging from her ears only cemented Jamie's suspicion further.

He didn't know how to help her though, so he thought it best to patch her up the best he could and bring her to Claire. Crouching down as well, he began to talk when a familiar voice came behind him along with the sound of hoots.

"Milord!" Fergus had the uncanny ability to show up just when Jamie needed him.

"Ah, here ye are lad. Come here," he gestured for him to dismount and come to him.

At the sound of the newcomer, the girl had curled even more on herself. Probably only now realising that she was alone in the middle of the woods, injured and surrounded by two men.

"Dinna fash lass, we mean you no harm." Jamie tried to reassure her but he could see that his words had little effect on her.

"Who are you?" Cradling her foot close to her, the girl regarded Jamie with a mix of suspicion and hope. She needed help, that much was clear, but she knew very well not to trust strange men. Especially in this century. Men here seemed to find girls fit only for one thing if they weren't a lady. And even then...

"I'm Fergus," the newcomer spoke at last and bent over the red haired man to offer her his hand, "pleasure to meet you." The girl shook his hand, which left Fergus a bit startled, but the obvious French accent left her confused. What were a Frenchman and a Scotsman doing together in the middle of the woods?

Almost as if he could read the question behind her eyes, Jamie said, "Fergus is my son. We were on our way to meet my wife when we heard your voice. My wife's a doctor, she'll know what to do with your foot if you want to come with us."

"A woman doctor?" The girl asked impressed and shocked. Women weren't allowed to study and work in this century, were they?

"Aye, Milady is an impressive woman, " the Frenchmen, Fergus, said. The girl looked back at him, really looked at him this time and damn. He was handsome. His face didn't have sharp features like his father, it was more feminine, more French.

Realizing she had been looking at him for too long, the girl cleared her throat and acted as if nothing had happened. Her blush, however, gave her away but neither Jamie nor Fergus said anything. Yes, they were gentlemen but this somehow didn't prevent Fergus to sport a smug smile nor Jamie an amused one.

"I bet she is," she acquiesced. "I thank you for your help, sir. I know what to do with my ankle but I'm afraid I need a doctor's assistance nonetheless."

"Is no problem at all, lass. My wife will be happy to look at yer foot," he smiled gently at her before standing up again. "Fergus lad, help the lady on her feet. Claire must be waiting for us."

The boy bent forward as if to pick her up but the girl stopped him. "Oh, no please there's no need. Just give me a hand, will you?" She shyly reached for his hand when he offered and together they managed to pull her up.

Once on her feet, or foot rather, she started wobbling and lost her balance, unused to standing only on one foot. "Allow me miss," Fergus went again to pick her up.

"How far to where his wife is waiting for you?" she asked breathless both for the strain and the pain and for Fergus's close presence.

"A bit, you can't possibly walk there, " he said motioning to his horse.

"Alright," she conceded knowing fully well that even 5 steps would be more than she could manage in this state. "You don't need to pick me up, though, I'm heavy. Just give me a hand to get up on the horse, I'm afraid I wouldn't know what to do even with two able feet."

"You've never been on a horse?" Fergus asked surprised while she hopped to his horse.

Ah, shit.

She had messed up. For an XVIII century man, it must have been impossible to fathom the idea of never having been on a horse. Not knowing what to say, she simply shook her shoulders abashed.

"Not to worry, ma belle fille, I'll help you." He promised, flashing her a charming smile that made her lose her balance again, much to her embarrassment.

"D'ye need a hand with the lass, Fergus?" Jamie, by now already on his horse, asked with a note of humour.

"Non," he threw a look at the red-haired man who simply nodded, "I can take care of her." He smiled at her and helped her up.

"Will you walk all the way?" She asked when she noticed that he hadn't joined her on the horse.

"It's not that far," he simply said gathering the horse's reins in his hand.

"Please, don't let me stop you. This is your horse. I'm grateful for your help but I do not wish to be a burden," she insisted, leaning over him.

"You're not a burden, miss. It's not proper for me to join you seeing as we're barely acquainted."

"Since when did the French care about what's proper?" she arched a brow, trying to hide her smile.

"Ah," he chuckled taken aback, "but we're not in France, no?"

"Even so, I do not share the English's prudery either."

"You're not English, eh, miss?"

"No, I'm not," she admitted, "and y/n will do."

"Y/n", he repeated almost as if he was trying it out. His French accent made your name sound exotic and oh my god, what is wrong with me?

"Now that we know each other's name, I'd say we're at least acquaintances, no?"

"Come on Fergus, listen to the lass, I'll wager she dinna mind your company," Jamie, who both y/n and Fergus had forgotten was even there, spoke acting as a deus ex machina.

"Oh god, he looks so cute when he blushes." That was the first thing y/n thought.

"No need to call me out like that," she mumbled under her breath as she scooted forward to create space for Fergus.

"What?" The red-haired man insisted. This man is having the time of his life, putting me on the spot.

"I asked what's your name, sir," she cleared her throat, sitting up straight.

"You can call me Jamie, lass." And with that, he urged his horse forward and trotted away with them following behind.

Part 2?

[aftertheskyy]

OK WAIT OMG

Merthur canon era hc

Some wizard magic dude is impersonating merlin cause he’s trying to kill the king (obviously) but the only reference he has is what he’s heard about him, which is just “oh merlin the kings manservant” and his physical appearance (cause he kidnapped him so) and he starts acting like a manservant would, doing every chore to perfection, what do you need sire, may I help you with that sire, and Arthur is just ????

Arthur: *getting into bed and tapping his side for merlin to join him*

Merlin: *confused af tucking him in because what else is he supposed to do*

Arthur: what-

Bonus points if Arthur knows about Merlin’s magic and is even more confused when merlin doesn’t just solve problems with his magic

Merlin: I am so sorry sire the bath water is too cold I will have to do it all over again I apologize

Arthur: but- boil the-

So Arthur realized this isn’t merlin and goes to find him

NO BC THIS IS SO FUNNY

i haven't written in so long, how are we all doing lads? seriously talk to me I miss you guys

Okay so Arthur is first really confused because his armor is actually polished, his bed is actually made, his clothes are actually laid out

Everything is happening the way it should happen, with a manservant doing his literal job

(I love you, Merlin. But like. Cmon buddy.)

Nighttime comes and Merlin starts to head off to his room in Gaius's chambers and Gaius is like "dude are you okay, did you and Arthur have a fight or something?" cause it's been so long since Merlin has slept in his own bed alone

This poor imposter (let's call him Henry) is confused but kinda rolls with it

And yes omg I love the tucking in thing you mentioned

Arthur's ready for his Sexy Time and he's being super flirty and clingy, coming behind "Merlin" and wrapping his arms around his waist, burying his head in his neck

And Henry is Freaking Out because that's not what's supposed to happen??

Let's add some dramatic irony. Henry thinks that Arthur is in a relationship with Gwen or some foreign princess and is trying to stop Arthur from cheating on her. Chaos ensues.

Then it comes time where Merlin needs to use magic. Arthur spilled something on his last white shirt before dinner and needs it cleaned, so he hands it to Henry, telling him to "do his thing."

Henry. Is. So. Confused.

So he runs to the washrooms to clean the shirt with Arthur on his heels, trying to hint at magic without being forward about the illegal practice.

"Your eyes? The glowing thing?"

"My...what?"

"You know...."

"No sire, I really don't."

So Arthur is like "Say the words!! The...*whispers* spell?"

Finally figuring it out, Henry makes something up on the spot

"shirto...stainy...begone-o..."

The shirt catches fire.

Arthur starts to lose it, because Merlin's not acting like himself and this whole week is just weird

Now imagine Henry using like a crystal or something to communicate with his master, telling them that King Arthur Pendragon is Not in a clear state of mind and

Cut to Henry showing his master (through the crystal) a glimpse of Arthur practicing his bedroom eyes in the mirror

And so Henry and his master decide not to kill the king. Arthur will send the kingdom into anarchy on his own.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Hey lads! So, it's been a few days... Did you find anything on that old ghost hunting company? I'm not really sure how you would find anything, other than, like, googling it, hmm...

Oh! Maybe other people in Spiff Ghost Hunting Corporation know about the old company? There can't be that many ghost hunters out there, so there's got to be people familiar with the old companies.

-🎲

Daithi. Get. The fuck. Down. We talked about this.

It is MINE and you will not have ANY OF IT—!!

Hi! Sorry we’ve been gone for a few days, we went three days without sleep and just decided to chill today. Spiff’s giving us a bit of a breather, so that’s good.

I am more then willing to murder you for that damn cake!

Try me, bitch! You know you can’t get up here even if you tried!

Anyways, you had the right idea! I asked around, and turns out that one of the teams here is actually really close to Spiff. Funny, I never really see them go out. Maybe he just doesn’t want to risk them. Anyways, they call themselves… Yogscast? It’s definitely something with “Yogs” in it.

How in the flying- DAITHI!!

HAHAHA, I AM THE BEANBAG KING!! YOU WILL NEVER REACH ME ATOP MY THRONE!!

Daithi, I think you’re going to break that poor display case if you keep sitting on it…

Get down from there, and STOP FUCKING PELTING ME WITH BEANBAGS!!

It doesn’t matter what their name is, really. They told me that Spiff actually keeps record of all the locations we visit in his office. So my little lie to that construction worker might’ve actually been true!

Daithi, from what I heard, your friend Josie made that cake for everyone. Get down from there and share it, or at the very least get a fork so your gross hands don’t get all up in everyone else’s food.

Don’t see why you care so much… You can’t even eat it.

Well, Kevin can, and I don’t want to deal with him pouting for another ten minutes because you took the “best piece”.

Perfect frosting distribution… A little piece of candy on the top…

Daithi, stop being such an ass and just get down here!!

So! That means if we really want to find out more, we just need to sneak into Spiff’s office! Should be a piece of—

Oh shit—

…I’m going to pretend I did not just hear glass breaking. I’m going to pretend that there is not a broken display case behind me. I’m going to pretend that Daithi did not just fall through the case and squish the cake completely.

DAITHI! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU BROKE THE DISPLAY CASE AND THE CAKE!!

I need a nap…

[xiaosmoon]

dad/pregnancy headcanons

because i love dilfs <3

feat. childe & albedo

warnings: pregnancy

(afab reader)

when you first told childe you were pregnant, you were convinced he was going to explode from joy. he didn't believe you when you first told him

"there's really a baby in there?"

"yes, childe."

"...really?"

que death stare

he would be beyond helpful during your pregnancy. need to grab something? just stay put and he'll bring it to you. craving mac & cheese with pickles at the ass crack of dawn? he's already in the kitchen. he really just wants you to be as comfortable as you can be. he knows how to deal with your mood swings quite well (he grew up with quite a few siblings) and you always feel bad afterward but childe assures you that it's no big deal. as helpful as your loving husband is, you do get quite bored just sitting down all day and doing nothing. (this man wouldn't even let you cook for the first 3 months of your pregnancy. he claimed your belly getting too close to the stove would cook the baby.) so you convince him to accompany you on evening walks around your neighborhood. he was cautious at first of course. he's a fatui harbinger and anyone finding out about his pregnant wife would be bad news. but he gives in with a little convincing. overall, your pregnancy was quite the breeze.

childe would be the best dad. he's always wanted a big loving family and now his dream is slowly becoming a reality. the first time he held his baby was the best day of his life. the way his son wrapped his little delicate hand around childe's finger was the day he knew that he had a new person to care for. to love, cherish, and support. with all of the overwhelming love for his son, the dangers and fear lurked at the back of his mind. he was a fatui harbinger. it's funny how hands that have killed and slaughtered so much, are now holding something as precious and innocent as a new life. protecting you and his beloved son was now his number one priority.

he would hold his child over his shoulders all the time. he claims "the view is better when you can see everything!"

secretly spoiling the kid. i mean, come on. his pockets run very deep. who would he spend it on if not his own child?

"y/n, when can we have more babies? i mean look at this cutie! we do make cute kids don't you think?"

"you know, making babies is the fun part and i wouldn't mind-" oh look, a flying pillow heading straight for childe

once your son is older, childe will teach him combat. enough for him to protect himself

you and childe both agree that not telling your son about childe's real job is for the best. well at least until he's a bit older.

childe would make the sweetest, most fun, and caring dad <3

when you found out you were pregnant, you thought it was impossible. albedo had specifically told you that he couldn't procreate, so what was happening? you told albedo and he was just as confused as you. a week after being okay with it, you were both very happy. albedo called your unborn childe a miracle baby. for the first few months of your pregnancy, he would always rub your tummy. you could be cuddling on the couch and he would mindlessly be massaging and rubbing your baby bump gently. at night when he was sure you were asleep, he would talk to your stomach and plant gentle kisses on your exposed skin. "i love you very much. you're just going to be the cutest little thing, arent you? klee can't wait to play with you." you were sure your heart had exploded. but unlike childe, albedo wouldn't be the best with your mood swings. he would try his best to understand them, but it's just too much for the poor lad. you of course would apologize for your bursts of emotions but he assures you with a bunch of kisses that it's alright and you should just worry about your health. after that, albedo would busy himself with books, trying to understand as much as he could about pregnancy.

"hey y/n, did you know that babies cry in the womb?"

"albedo what the fuck."

sweet boy would do the absolute most for you during all of your trimesters.

albedo was in absolute awe when he first held your baby in his arms. wow, we really created this little little life, he would think. albedo was determined to find the meaning of life, it was surreal that he had helped create one. he kissed his baby gently on the forehead as they slept. they had his blonde hair, but your nose. he very much loved that. albedo doesn't know the first thing about being a father, but for his little baby, he would try.

albedo would a better father than he thought he would

you, of course, had no doubt

albedo would always listen to his child's stories and show them cool (and very safe) experiments in his lab

klee loved to spend time with your baby. she claims that she's practically gained a new sibling that she can play with!

albedo would listen to all of the babbles and endless nothingness of your baby like it was the most interesting thing in the world

he would also take notes of your baby. for research purposes he claims (wouldn't be albedo without some science)

once your child is old enough, he will allow them to come help in the lab with very minor tasks

while albedo is learning to be a father on the journey, he undoubtedly is doing a very well job