spiffghosthuntingcorporation

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

OKAY WHO NOMINATED PHASMO RT FOR THE SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT???

I haven’t posted in so long and I’ve never drawn a design, what is happening ;-;

(also do you want me to start posting again)

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Brian? Brian! Come on man, get up. You’re squishing our thermometers.

Wha..? What’s happening? Did we find Dan?

No… We have another job to do.

What? But it’s only- it’s still light out!

We’re doing daytime jobs as well, it seems.

But that could add up to two or three jobs a day!

It already has. Once we finish this one, we go straight to the next.

What the fuck… Daytime jobs? There’s no way there’s been that many murders, right?

Lads, did you hear about what happened?

No, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the commotion I heard earlier.

Well, you’re right. I don’t know their names, but a team just came back minus one member, and they’re pissed. Like, walking-out levels of pissed.

What happened?

Apparently, their teammate passed out from exhaustion mid-hunt and left his EMF reader on, which lead the Raiju right to him. You know what happened next.

Damn…

And from what I heard, the kid was good. A rookie, but really freaking good. I think he was their little brother or something as well, because they’re threatening Spiff right now. They said they’ll smash all the display cases and everything if he doesn’t let them leave.

Wait- they’re threatening Spiff? That means his office is open!

We already looked in his office, Brian.

Kevin, there’s no need to snap. For all we know, we could’ve missed something the first time around.

For all we know, Daniel’s fucking gone! He could’ve ran into a candle, or accidentally got banished from the crucifix, or maybe he just hightailed it out of here with the wires! He’s sure as hell not just chilling in Spiff’s office!

Okay, you know what, I’m sick of you talking like that! You know Dan wouldn’t just abandon us like this. But we can’t keep wasting our energy and sanity worrying about him! For the time being, we’re a four-person team again. And we know that our four-person team works just as good as a five-person team. So you need to stop fucking snapping at us, and go get your stuff. Because like it or not, we still have a job to do.

Daithi’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.

Shut the fuck up.

Guys! We can’t start fighting. We need to stick together if we want to stay alive and find our friend. So start acting like the professional ghost hunters we are, and go get your shit together!

~

Your friends are fighting again.

Shut up. Don’t you have some innocent people to murder?

Watch your tone.

What, you don’t like it when I talk about all the horrible things you’ve done?

You’re not exactly blameless either. If it wasn’t for your help, those people would still be alive.

I don’t have a choice right now-!

Temper. But like it or not, you’ve still done just as many bad things as I have.

I am nothing like you.

Really? What about all those innocent ghosts you killed?

I didn’t…

You were one of the best hunters in the company. It’s a shame you don’t remember it, you really were something special. You could get all three pieces of evidence before the grace period was even over, and then immediately launch into your next ghost hunt. In fact, I think you killed more ghosts than anyone else in the company!

Would you just shut up?!

Easy, Daniel. Remember. One match is all it takes for you to burn into nothing, and then it’ll only take a bit more for your friends to do the same. Maybe I’ll do you last, so you can watch as this building crumbles to the ground.

You’re evil, you know that? You’re working your teams to death, you’re killing innocent ghosts, you’re helping someone kill innocent people… Why? Why would you do any of that?

…You want to know why?

I mean, it’s not like I could tell anyone while I’m stuck in here. Might as well make conversation.

You’re just trying to manipulate me, or something.

Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t?

Not in the slightest.

Fair enough.

…

…

…I’m in too far to quit.

What?

That’s why I do this. I can’t back out now.

But that’s-

Take it or leave it, that’s my excuse.

A weak excuse, but sure.

If I quit now, my boss would take all the evidence against me to the police, while keeping his own nose clean. He’d just find another partner, and it would all keep going. Ghost hunting business in exchange for your part in the murders.

So you would quit if you had the chance to?

I think so. Maybe I’d go back to being a ghost hunter.

Huh.

…I’m gonna go. I have a phone call to take.

Wait- aaaaand he’s gone.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Where the FUCK is he?

I don’t know, okay? I don’t have a clue!

Even though Spiff’s back, Dan should’ve been able to get out through the wires. Bri, is anything coming up through the security footage?

I’m trying, but the camera’s been fucking disabled! Same with the other ones in his office!

We should’ve stopped him from going. Or we should’ve broken into the office ourselves. We should’ve done SOMETHING to keep this from happening!

Kevin! Calm down. Daniel can take care of himself. Now, we have another job to do. 13 Willow Street.

How can you possibly think about work when-

Thinking about work is the only thing keeping me from freaking the fuck out, Daithi!

…

Now. We are going to do our job. If Dan comes back, he’ll know to hide in a device until we finish. Let’s go suit up, okay?

Fine. You’re right. Let’s go.

You thought you were so clever, didn’t you? Thought you could use one of my own teams to sneak back in here and finish what you started?

…

Don’t play silent, Daniel. I know you can talk. I’ve heard you jabbering through the radios with the others.

…!

Oh, you thought I wouldn’t be smart enough to tune in? Once I heard that the footage of you being banished was “corrupted”, I was watching your Irish Lads like a hawk.

You all thought you could get away with this. You thought you were so clever. But I see everything that happens in this company.

…What are you going to do with me?

So you can talk! Took you long enough.

Answer my question.

You’re dangerous. Ghosts are dangerous. Not because of any abilities they have, but because of what they can reveal. Of course, you’re a fairly useless ghost. You can’t remember anything! But a ghost that can remember their life? A ghost that can remember who exactly killed them? Well, that poses a bit of a challenge for my boss. All they’d have to do is prove their existence, and the police would believe every word out of their mouths. And we certainly wouldn’t want that.

So what do you need me for?

You are going to find every ghost that remembers who they were. Every ghost that remembers the old company. Don’t even try to lie about it, I know you can feel them. You are going to find them for me, so I can dispose of them.

And what if I refuse?

Spiff grins wickedly, before flicking a lighter and holding up to the strange glass container now trapping a very small, manifested Daniel. The ghost screams, and slams himself against the glass wall that’s been laced with some metal to keep him contained inside. He can already feel the heat, searing at his cold translucent skin and melting him away.

“The Onryo is known to fear any form of fire.” Sound familiar?

So- so what if you kill me? I don’t care, if it means I stop you and whoever your boss is!

Oh no, Daniel, I’m not going to stop at just you.

If you don’t do exactly as I say, I will burn this entire building to the ground. With your little friends still inside.

You-

Do we have a deal?

…Fine. Deal.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Alright. Are we all in agreement about this?

I still think it’s a bad idea.

Kevin, please, stop worrying…

What if Spiff walks in and turns on his computer? Or there’s a power outage and you get stuck? Or we get called away on a mission and can’t grab you? You’d just be alone for hours!

I was alone for five years, Kevin, I think I can handle a couple hours just fine.

Woah.

Daniel, you good? I’ve never heard that tone from you.

…

I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snap at you!!

It’s fine, Dan. And you’re right, I need to stop worrying.

No, it’s nice that you’re worrying, and you’re bringing up valid points. But I’m a ghost, silly! Spiff won’t know I’m there, because he doesn’t know I exist. If anything goes wrong, I’ll come back, okay?

Now I’m having second thoughts about this…

Lads. Please. Let me do this. I need to do something to help. Not only that, but I need to figure out what the hell happened to make me what I am. I need to know what happened to kill me.

…Fuck, we can’t say no to you.

Even if we did, he could just go do it anyways.

Fine. Fine. Dan, you can go sneak into Spiff’s office. But be careful. And if you’re not back in an hour, we will come and get you ourselves.

If we see Spiff come back, we’ll try to warn you, okay?

This is the first time he’s been out in weeks, it should be a while.

Still. Be careful.

I will, I will…

Daniel let a small smile creep onto his face as he zipped through the wires, feeling the familiar electricity crackle around him. The lads’ devices were great and all, but in the wires he could just let the current take him away. It was something he could do without thinking — which was good, because his mind was very busy pinpointing all the little ways this could go wrong.

Which was stupid. He was a ghost. Nothing could hurt him. But maybe some of Kevin’s doubts had started to seep in (not that he was blaming Kevin, of course), because now he had started worrying. Even as he crept through the wire connecting Spiff’s computer to the wall, he still found himself anxiously glancing at the door just in case the boss suddenly slammed into his office. Luckily, he didn’t, and Daniel let out a small, freezing sigh of relief as he slid into the computer.

It took his eyes a minute to adjust to the unfamiliar dark layout, and when they did he immediately spotted the space where all the files and documents were kept. A good few of them were locked, predictably, restricted to all but its creator. But there were more then enough to keep him busy and hopefully find some answers. More then enough to make him feel like he was finally helping, instead of just tagging along.

Some of the documents he discarded immediately; little notes Spiff had written himself or reminders to do things like ‘buy new UV flashlights’ or ‘polish bones in display case’. There were also files on every member of the company, containing their portfolios and personal info. Those files he lingered by for a few seconds longer, before pushing them to the side as well. Come on, there had to be something good here! Daniel kept pushing through order forms for spirit boxes and strange snippets of writing he couldn’t seem to grasp — until one file caught his attention.

Labeled simply ‘targets.’, the document had to load for a few seconds before appearing in front of Daniel’s eyes. This one had been shared with Spiff, it wasn’t one of his own. It was a list of familiar addresses, but the notes written besides them were completely vague.

Fourty-two Edgefield Road — 2 adults, 2 children, 1 infant — mother’s sibling witnessed last hit (DONE)

Bleasdale Farmhouse — 1 adult, 2 children — connections to chief detective (DONE)

Thirteen Willow Street — 2 adults, 1 cat — former employee (TBD)

Daniel ran his transparent fingers over the words, trying to piece together the clues. These were locations the lads had been assigned to hunt at. Clearly, they were chosen for a reason. But why, and by who? Getting an idea, Daniel moved to look at the properties of the document. Maybe he could see who had shared it with Spiff? As he combed through the history, only two email addresses jumped out at him. spiff.business@gmail.com, and…

“Got you.”

With a sudden pull that ripped at his chest, Daniel was yanked into a USB. He barely had time to reach for the computer before he was pulled out of it entirely, and held up in the face of the Spiff Ghost Hunter’s boss. He tried to manifest, or jump to another electronic, but Spiff was quick to drop him into a small glass box far away from the desk.

“Hello, little ghost.” Spiff teased as he peered inside the box, smiling as if he could actually see the panicking Daniel inside. “I knew you were around here somewhere. Oh, my boss is going to be thrilled to see you again.”

Daniel was trapped.

At the mercy of someone who seemed to know more about him than he knew himself.

And all he hoped was that the lads would be safe.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Lads, do me a favour and watch out for yourselves while investigating this whole old company/Dan's origins thing. If the fire was actually set intentionally- well, that reeks of a coverup. There's a good chance the person responsible for this is still around and not above pulling something like this again. -Baba

Hello, I’m writing this from the inside of a closet right now. Our dear friend… Whatever the ghost in this house’s name is, we’ll call him Carl - our dear friend Carl has decided that he really, really doesn’t like Daniel, and is currently hunting our asses.

Actually, it’s you all he doesn’t like. He’s mad you didn’t take your boots off at the door and you’re getting his house all dirty. Also, he doesn’t like the dirty dishes in the sink. I think one of you should wash them.

JESUS - where did you come from?

I just switched from staying in Kevin’s radio to yours when he started hunting. Also, the ghost name is Noah, not Carl.

Well great, I’ll keep that in mind if I ever want to start screaming his name so he can kill me faster.

He probably won’t kill you, just straighten up the kitchen and wipe your feet at the door and you’ll be fine.

Alright, but I’m going to get someone else to do the dishes. I hate washing up.

I’m sure someone else will volunteer if it means Noah will stop hunting. Anyways, what did the person say? The one you were writing to?

Eh, just a warning. Be careful while investigating the old company, if the fire was a cover-up it could be set again, the person responsible could still be around, blah, blah, blah…

Hey, that does seem like pretty good advice.

But being careful hasn’t gotten us anywhere so far! We need to take a risk - we need to break into Spiff’s office and get that file.

But Brian said there were security cameras! Even if you don’t get caught, all Spiff would have to do is rewind the footage, and know for sure who did it!

I guess you have a point.

Wait a minute, does Spiff have a computer?

Of course he does, he keeps a bunch of company shite on it- oh.

All I’d have to do is go through the wires, take a peek at what he’s got on there, and come back! As long as I don’t mess with anything, he won’t even know I’ve been there.

That’s perfect, Dan! Hey, the hunt’s over - we need to finish up this mission so we can tell the other lads and head out!

Oh, Noah’s a Goryo. He told me so.

You could’ve mentioned that a little sooner… Alright, I’m going to radio the lads, so you might want to-

Already ahead of you, I’m just going to chill in your EMF Reader for a bit, if that’s okay?

Works for me.

Alright, everyone, back to the van. I know what ghost it is, and we also have a plan for getting into Spiff’s office! So hurry back, over.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Woah, woah! There was a full team death?! That sounds scary... I guess your line of work is pretty dangerous at times, huh?

I hope you guys stay safe.

-🎲

Yup, a full team death. We’ve only had a few deaths before, in the entire time I’ve been here. Never a full team wipe.

The first time, it was some idiot kid who thought it was a good idea to make fun of the ghost. He smashed up her room and shit, shouted her name and everything. Even though it was a weak Spirit, she still got him good. The rest of his team quit soon after.

Then, there was the Banshee incident. The ghost locked his target in the house and didn’t stop hunting until they were dead. It was really sad, unavoidable but still awful to hear.

One good thing did come out of it though, we learned to stay in pairs when dealing with a Banshee.

And then not too long ago, there was the Deogen incident.

Oh god, the Deogen incident…

The team had never dealt with a Deo, they didn’t stand a chance.

Only one of them made it out, and he burned through every Smudge Stick and Crucifix the group had. That’s as close to a full team wipe as we’ve ever had.

Yeah… This job can be scary, alright. But if you get good at it and you don’t piss off the ghost, then the only thing you have to fear is a messed-up interaction and not getting paid that night.

Speaking of which… Seán, I love your company, but you’d better get back in that house before—

Seán, where the fuck ARE you?!

There he is.

Sorry Daithi. I was talking with Brian about something.

Well, get your arse out of the van and in this house so I can yell at you in person instead of over the radio!!

Also, Dan’s about to try and talk to the ghost. You might want to come watch this.

Okay, okay! I’m heading in right now. Over.

Go do your thing.

Yeah, yeah, I’m going…

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

[The following recording was taken from security footage on the cameras of VAN_005 at 12/20/22.]

Alright, fuckers, who’s ready to find ourselves a ghost?

Yeah!

There’s no need to get flashy. We go in, get the evidence, and get out. If we’re lucky, we’ll get a few hours of sleep tonight.

Well, with Dan here, it should be easier than ever!

I’m still not sure this is the best idea… I mean, I’ve never talked to another ghost before! What if they think I’m trying to trick them, or something?

It’ll be easy, Dan, don’t worry. All you’ve gotta do is keep it busy if you can, ask it to give us some evidence, and maybe even get on it’s good side so we don’t get hunted.

Alright. Yeah. I can do that.

Speaking of which, what’s the name of our spectral friend tonight?

Um… Noah Walker. And of course, they don’t have any information as to if it’s shy or not. That would cause some extra effort, and why would Spiff ever do a damn thing himself when he can just send out another team to die?!

Holy shit, Seán, calm down. There are cameras in here.

You’re right… You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous, I guess.

We’re all nervous. There’s never been a full team death before. I heard Philza’s trying to quit and take his kids with him.

Well, I heard that they’re still trying to calm down the demon in that office building. It’s always the office buildings…

Lads, as much as I’d love to sit here and chat with you, we need to get going. We’re wasting our grace period, and I’d rather not have us be the next full team wipe.

Well, if we do end up dying, at least we can hang out with Daniel!

That’s not funny.

You’re right. Sorry.

Come on, guys, let’s go catch ourselves a ghost!

And hopefully not die in the process.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

[Select which camera you would like to view.]

[OFFICECAM-1 selected. Please select the date for the footage you would like to view.]

[12/17/22 selected. Rewinding…]

[Playing selected footage.]

“Sir, you need to slow down. I’m sending out teams every day, and they’re starting to get sloppy in their investigation. One of my teams burned through two crucifixes because they were too tired to deal with the hunt.”

“Yes, I know, sir, but you need to space them out, otherwise people will get suspicious—”

“I know that’s my job! But I’m not going to have any teams left if they’re all passed out on the field!”

“…Yes, sir.”

“…No, sir.”

“Alright, alright. But you’d better start covering your tracks better. Lewis told me that one of the teams are getting suspicious, they came asking around about the old company.”

“Yes, I burned those files! Who do you take me for, an amateur?”

“…I’ve gotta go, alright? I need to dispatch another team to clean up one of your messes. Later.”

“…”

“God, I need a drink. I don’t know just how much longer we can keep this up, if a team is getting suspicious.”

“Eh, if they start poking around in places where they don’t belong, I’ll just replace them.”

“A̴̔ͅn̸̩͍̘̗̿͌̈́o̸̲̲̫͌̂́t̵̡̹̆̇ḥ̸͆̀̕͝ḛ̷̡̙͍̐͗̀͐r̵͇̙̞̟̈́͒̍ ̷̥͕̈́̈́̾̓f̸̢̰̟̾ȋ̴̧̬r̵̨͖͈̝̔̀͝e̸̗̜͛̓̃͝ ̷͈͔̥̼̅͒w̷͚͙̍͂o̵̜̕n̵̜̟̒̓’̸̯̙̎̚t̴̢̨͒͐̚ ̴̗̿͒̏͋b̶̼͆͠e̴̺̖̅͠ ̸̳͉̋̅h̶̻͖̤̍̉a̸͚̜̩͔͋̾r̴̥̗̻̜̊̾d̸̩͓̒̚ ̴͖͈͔̋̏t̸̝̊̓o̶̯͊̈́̾ ̷̺̹̠͂̕͠s̸̡̛̬͒̓͐t̴͍͍̰̏̾̑̌à̵̳̞̱̖͛r̵͔̳̺̖̈́t̶̢̞̣̽̇̍.̶͇̹̙͓̓”

[…]

[I’m sorry, the rest of the footage seems to have been corrupted. What would you like to do?]

[Understood. Deleting footage…]

[All footage for date 12/16/22 has been deleted. Have a good day, user S̵̢̘̋͝p̴̡͎͋́i̵̼͉͑̋f̵͙͙͗̕f̸̱̤́̍.]

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Hey lads! So, it's been a few days... Did you find anything on that old ghost hunting company? I'm not really sure how you would find anything, other than, like, googling it, hmm...

Oh! Maybe other people in Spiff Ghost Hunting Corporation know about the old company? There can't be that many ghost hunters out there, so there's got to be people familiar with the old companies.

-🎲

Daithi. Get. The fuck. Down. We talked about this.

It is MINE and you will not have ANY OF IT—!!

Hi! Sorry we’ve been gone for a few days, we went three days without sleep and just decided to chill today. Spiff’s giving us a bit of a breather, so that’s good.

I am more then willing to murder you for that damn cake!

Try me, bitch! You know you can’t get up here even if you tried!

Anyways, you had the right idea! I asked around, and turns out that one of the teams here is actually really close to Spiff. Funny, I never really see them go out. Maybe he just doesn’t want to risk them. Anyways, they call themselves… Yogscast? It’s definitely something with “Yogs” in it.

How in the flying- DAITHI!!

HAHAHA, I AM THE BEANBAG KING!! YOU WILL NEVER REACH ME ATOP MY THRONE!!

Daithi, I think you’re going to break that poor display case if you keep sitting on it…

Get down from there, and STOP FUCKING PELTING ME WITH BEANBAGS!!

It doesn’t matter what their name is, really. They told me that Spiff actually keeps record of all the locations we visit in his office. So my little lie to that construction worker might’ve actually been true!

Daithi, from what I heard, your friend Josie made that cake for everyone. Get down from there and share it, or at the very least get a fork so your gross hands don’t get all up in everyone else’s food.

Don’t see why you care so much… You can’t even eat it.

Well, Kevin can, and I don’t want to deal with him pouting for another ten minutes because you took the “best piece”.

Perfect frosting distribution… A little piece of candy on the top…

Daithi, stop being such an ass and just get down here!!

So! That means if we really want to find out more, we just need to sneak into Spiff’s office! Should be a piece of—

Oh shit—

…I’m going to pretend I did not just hear glass breaking. I’m going to pretend that there is not a broken display case behind me. I’m going to pretend that Daithi did not just fall through the case and squish the cake completely.

DAITHI! YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU BROKE THE DISPLAY CASE AND THE CAKE!!

I need a nap…

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Okay, where’s Dan?

Hanging out with Kevin, last I saw they were trying to get a soda out of the vending machine. Lucky fucker, I want some free snacks.

We are not leaving to go get some free cheap candy. This is important. Whoever these people are that are emailing us, I think they’re right.

I mean, the only way Daniel would know all this stuff about ghost hunting is if he was a ghost hunter, right?

Yeah. We shouldn’t just assume that he was with Spiff though, there are other ghost hunting companies around. But a flickering flashlight is something any ghost hunter’s familiar with.

And we’re all especially familiar with it, after last night.

It really is a miracle that none of us died to that demon. The little shit ate up both of our crucifixes.

Well, we’d better replace them quick. We’ve got another job in two days.

Christ, Seán, give someone a warning before you sneak up on them-

Another job? Where?

Somewhere in Tanglewood. But that’s besides the point. I need you guys to listen to this! I got an interview with one of the construction workers at the office building, and…

[Playing recording…]

Hello, sir. I’m with the Spiff Ghost Hunters, and I’d like to ask you a couple questions about this building.

You’re one of the hunters that got rid of our electronics ghost, right?

Yeah. Got rid of it. Banished and everything.

[Paused.]

You are such a horrible liar.

Shut up! Just listen.

[Playing…]

Sure, I wouldn’t mind answering a couple’a questions. What do you got?

First, could you tell me anything you know about the building?

Well, they gave us a bit of info before we started working. Just for fun. You already know about the whole fire thing, yeah?

I do.

Well, then you know that nobody knows how it started. But one of the guys told me one day that it was actually set by someone in the building.

Intentionally?

Yep. There’s even rumors that the place’s boss was the one who started it, but I don’t pay attention to that kind’a stuff.

Do you know anything about the company’s boss, or what kind of work they did here?

Not really, no. But we did find pretty weird stuff in the beginning. Made me think it wasn’t just your average Joe desk job, working here.

Weird stuff? Like?

Well, lots of stuff was burnt, obviously. But there was a weird board we found that was totally fine - the one kids play with, that let you talk to ghosts or something?

A Ouija Board?

If that’s what you wanna call it. And there were a ton of flashlights - like, three for every employee or something. Only some of them worked, but the ones that did were all different. Some of them were weak, some of them were strong, and some of them gave off a weird purple light. And then there was a couple of books that were okay, too. They were in some kind of frame, like it was a museum or something.

What was written in the books?

I don’t remember, exactly. But one of ‘em just had scribbles, real violent ones too. Ripped the page in some places. And another one had a weird kind of drawing, looked like it was done by a little kid. Running in the sun, or something.

Anything else?

Don’t think so, no. Sorry.

No worries, you’ve already given me more then enough.

What is this for, again?

Oh! Um… We try to get a file on all the locations we visit, just in case another ghost appears.

Oh, I see. Well, I hope I was of at least of some use.

You were, trust me. Thank you so much, good luck with your work.

[Recording end.]

Holy shit.

That office building must’ve been just like our warehouse! Daniel was a ghost hunter!

I was a… I was a ghost hunter?

Shit- we thought you were hanging out with Kevin.

We got bored and heard you all listening to something, so we came back over here.

Well, it was rude of us to talk about you behind your back, Daniel. Sorry.

…

Dan?

Hey, are you okay?

My head hurts again…

Is it because we’re talking about something you don’t remember, again?

I don’t know…

It’s okay. You’re okay. We won’t talk about it right now, alright?

Can I… Can I go in a device? Please?

Here, take my phone.

Thank you…

So I guess we’re done talking about this.

For now. But we need to keep looking for information about whatever ghost hunting company was in that building. If the rumors are correct, and the company’s boss did actually set the fire, then we need to figure out who that was. Because if he’s still out there, then there’s nothing to stop him from doing it again.

Damn, Seán, we’re not in a crime drama show- OW!

Justice has been served.

You didn’t need to hit me so hard…

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

You seemed to know quite a bit about ghost hunting, Dan, did you come into contact with any ghost hunters before you met these lads? If yes, how did you get out of it? And if no, how did you come by this knowledge?

-Baba

…Alright. Ghost Writing, EMF, and Fingerprints?

Myling.

Kevin?

He’s right!

Okay. Hunting behaviors of a Revenant?

Fast when it sees you, slow when it can’t.

Kevin?

Perfect answer, again.

A Spirit’s weakness?

Smudge sticks. Since most Spirits are often ghosts of people who were killed recently, they still retain a good amount of their senses, and a Smudge Stick overwhelms their sense of smell far longer than a different type of ghost.

Kevin?

Jesus, give a guy a moment to flip through the journal… Right, again! That’s, what, the tenth correct answer in a row?

I wasn’t keeping count. Daniel, how the hell do you know all this stuff? You know ghosts better than they know themselves!

I don’t know, really. I didn’t come into contact with any ghost hunters before you all - luckily - so I have no clue how I know any of this. I just… Do. Same way I know all of your equipment, and what it does. It just pops into my head, even though I haven’t even seen any of that for the past five years.

I’m sorry. I wish I had a better answer to give you.

Don’t worry about it, really. The knowledge just makes you more a part of the team.

Speaking of which, we’ve got another job. An old farmhouse, down at Grafton.

Damn, already? We just finished up at that Bleasdale farmhouse.

It shouldn’t be too bad, it’s another relatively small house. If we go fast enough, we might even be able to get a few hours of sleep.

Oh hey, did you see Kiwo earlier? She was practically dead on her feet.

Yeah, Minx and I talked about her. Apparently they’ve had jobs four nights in a row. The only reason Minx isn’t exhausted is because of energy drinks and enough coffee to fill a lake with.

Seriously, what is with the amount of jobs we’re getting? Has there actually been that many recent deaths?

I don’t know, but I don’t like it. We should ask Spiff if he’d maybe give us a break.

Nobody’s even seen him in a week! He’s just been in his office, talking on the phone about who knows what. And when he’s not locked in there, he’s completely gone. Spiff’s always been kind of distant, but at least he’d come out and talk to us!

I don’t even know how any of us haven’t seen him update the job board. You just turn around, and suddenly you’ve got a new assignment.

Lads, let’s not focus on this right now. Let’s just do the job and get paid. Then we can ask questions.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Dan, you said nobody had ever heard you before, what kind of people have you seen around during your time as a ghost?

Well…

For the first four years, there wasn’t anybody around. I didn’t go anywhere, either. I could’ve - surely one of those wires led outside. But I was scared. I didn’t remember anything about the outside world, and it was just so terrifying to me. So I stayed inside, doing nothing but simply staring at the inside of a screen for months on end.

And then construction started, and there were so many people. Women, men, younger, older, it went from silence to loud, loud noises. It was painful at first, but eventually I got used to it. And that was when I actually started listening to the construction workers.

Some of them were kind, some of them were rude-tempered. I learned so many swear words from them. And I remember, one girl liked another, and it was fun to watch them skirt around each other until they figured it out.

It was nice, not being alone anymore. But it was… Kind of lonely in its own way, too. I tried talking to them all, warning about where the ground wasn’t as stable, offering up encouragement when they finished the day, or even giving them advice on how they should talk to each other. But nobody could hear me. I shouted so much I actually lost my voice for a couple weeks - can you believe ghosts can lose their voices? I shouted, and whispered, and stood right in their faces while I tried to reach them, but they just couldn’t hear me.

And that was when I tried to type out messages. Nobody noticed at first, so I would blink the computers on and off to signal that they should look. But they’d just scream, and nobody actually saw what I wrote. After… What, a year or so of this? Time is a little wonky for me. Anyways, after what we’ll call a year, they hired the ghost hunters, and I got to meet people that can hear me!

Basically, in short, I’ve seen all kinds of people. Even if it eventually just turned into the same people every day, I’ve still seen so much.

It just would’ve been nice to be seen by them as well.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

We've heard about Spiff a few times now, but we know next to nothing about him, Only that he's your Boss and that he runs the company. Would any of you mind filling us in on him? Why did he create the company? How did you all come to work with him? Is this his first buisiness venture or has he done anything like this before?

Sorry, I'm a very curious person ^-^'

-Baba

Alright, so these questions are meant for us?

I don't know, the original emails containing these questions definitely seemed directed at Spiff.

Well yeah, but think about it. Why would someone email Spiff, asking us to give them some info about him?

I don't know! Things have been really weird lately. 'Living' ghosts, a building fire that nobody knows anything about, and now more and more of these weird emails? Things just keep getting stranger and stranger.

Let's just answer the question, okay? Mental breakdowns come later.

Alright. Alright. Answer the question.

Like I said earlier, I found the Spiff Ghost Hunters through Google. There's not a crazy amount of information I could find about Spiff himself, besides little tidbits which we've heard over the years... Oh, and the whole bio thing on our website.

"Degree in parapsychology, degree in psychology, studied in experimental technology..." I don't know if this is his first business venture or not. Nothing else is really coming up, so I guess it could be?

I'd love to ask him about it, but he's in another meeting.

Another one?!

He's been in meetings almost every day now! Just locked in his office, talking to someone on the phone for hours...

How do you know that?

Eh, I hacked myself into the security footage for a prank one time. I occasionally flip back through the channels.

Could you maybe get us audio?

I mean, I could, but I doubt we'd be able to hear what he's saying. Why do you ask, anyways?

I don't know, things just seem kind of... Off. He's always had meetings, obviously, but there's been more and more over the past couple of months. It's weird. And he hasn't been coming down to talk to us, either. It definitely doesn't seem normal.

He's probably just looking for more jobs, or whatever. There has been an increase in murders recently, after all. That means more ghosts.

Can we just get back to answering the question?

What more is there to say? We've already answered most of it, and we said how we came to work at the company earlier.

Well, I guess all that's left is to say... Don't worry about being curious, or anything! We love to see your questions.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

So how did you all get into the ghost hunting business, anyway? It strikes me as the kind of job that finds you instead of you finding it, if you catch my drift.

-🎲

Oh! Well, Daithi signed up for a-

I can explain my own reasons, thank you very much!

Contrary to popular belief, I was not the one who signed up for a dare. Brian asked me to be the first member when he was forming a ghost hunting team.

The worst mistake of my life.

Well, fuck you too.

Lads…

Anyways, the reason I became a ghost hunter was actually because of you, Seán.

Really? Oh, right!

Yeah, he had already signed up with Spiff, and he called me one night saying that the boss was interested in my tech work.

Mr. Brian over here had already built up a bit of a reputation, after all. And ‘cause we were old uni friends, I figured it’d be nice to have him on a team. I needed four people, after all.

Why’d you get with Spiff in the first place, Seán?

Eh, I was really into parapsychology. And the Spiff Ghost Hunters were the first ghost hunting place that came up when I did a Google search.

Wow, such a thrilling origin story.

Okay, at least I didn’t actually sign up for a dare!

Hey, I got five bucks out of it! And you all got a new teammate.

Lucky us.

Why’d you stay, though? If I remember correctly, the dare was only to come along on one job. Not that we don’t love having you on the team, but I’m curious.

Well… I don’t know. I guess I liked the idea of helping ghosts. Some ghost hunters say they’re saving people from “wrathful spirits”, but…

I like to think I’m saving the ghosts. Setting them free.

I think that’s all the ghosts want, really.

Not you?

I don’t want to be free… Yet. Not until I figure out how exactly I died. Because something in the back of my mind tells me that whatever happened wasn’t right.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

Well, there's gotta be some history on the place the lads found you at, maybe if you're interested it might be worth doing some research into it to see if you might be able to find any clues on who you were before you died.

It might not amount to anything, but it's probably at least worth a try.

-Baba

I was doing some research before we went on the job! Let’s see here.

“Office building burns down in uncontrollable fire…”

“Cause of fire unknown…”

“Hundreds of employees died in the fire, no survivors…”

Oh, here’s something interesting! “The body of the company’s owner was nowhere to be found in the aftermath of the blaze, although he is assumed dead.”

Does it say who the owner is, or what the company’s called?

Huh… No, it doesn’t. I can’t find anything about him anywhere.

Daniel, I know you said you don’t remember anything, but can you at least try to think of whoever your boss was? Or who you worked for?

I can try…

…

Ow. Ow. Owowowowowowow.

Are you okay?!

Yeah… It’s just my head. I’m still not really used to feeling pain.

So I take it that you couldn’t remember anything?

Yeah- wait, no, actually one thing.

A flickering flashlight.

Oh wow, that’s so helpful and not vague at all.

Shut up, Daithi.

[spiffghosthuntingcorporation]

hey dan, can you speak through phones? i'm just thinking of all the prank call potential you could have if that's the case, hehe

Ooh, I don’t know! Let’s see…

Alright, I’m calling Kiwo now!

“…Hello? Helloooo? Kevin?”

I’m a spoooooooky ghost and I’m going to eat your soooooul!

“Hello? Kevin, if you’re giving the silent treatment for another prank, it’s not very funny.”

She hung up…

Huh. So I guess it’s only you lads who can hear me.

But I couldn’t hear you until you and I were talking together, on the computer.

Maybe the person has to know of my existence to hear me?

That kind of ruins the prank opportunities…

Honestly, I’m kind of glad they couldn’t hear me. What you had me say was really stupid.

Well excuse me, I’ve never tried to feed lines to Casper the Friendly Ghost before!

…What?