#poor Robert dude was so done

[unhingedlesbear]

Gonna give my opinions on the tcofs characters bc why not:

Bonnie: My fuckin fav. Love her. She was my favourite running up to the game's release and is still my favourite now. Love all her interactions w the other characters, I just wish there was more variation surrounding her

Linda: THE QUEEEN I love Linda. She's likeable every time u see her and seems like the most reasonable character on both ends imo

Chris: I ended up really liking Chris. I've sworn to defend her since before the game came out and I guess I really have my work cut out for me considering even I found it a little hard to like her sometimes. But overall I did like her a lot. She was pretty ignorant and too bold sometimes but I liked her enthusiasm

Jaime: Jaime was okay. I didn't like him too much but he was alright. Didn't care for his weird jealousy thing w Robert, that pissed me off a lot but oh well, he was okay. Didn't see him past his first death opportunity so maybe that had something to do with it

Sam: Sam was cool, I liked him in the prologue and even though we don't see him TOO much after that, what he did have was pretty neat. Respectable guy who seemed pretty damn self sacrificial. Too bad he died in such a fucked way for us... poor dude

Robert: I wish we saw more of him bc he seemed like a nice guy from what we got. They could have done a lot more with him considering his relation to Sam but they kinda just have a few dialogues and scenes involving it. I liked him tho

Madi: She was so cute I stg, I loved her personality and her interactions w other characters. There probably is more to say abt her but I forgor.. I do remember really liking her tho

Stan: Pffft nah

These are the ones that are coming to me rn I probably forgot some people but uhhhh mrrp!

[im-out-of-it]

HAPPY ALEC RANT: MAINLY SHOW ALEC (KINDA BOOK ALEC) BUT HOW HAS MY BOY NOT HAD A MILLION MENTAL BREAKDOWNS?????? CHEERS TO MY MAN ALEC FOR KEEPING HIS SHIT TOGETHER

seriously alec puts up with sooooo much shit. he’s always saving jaces worthless ass, Maryse and Robert are always on him for “family honor”, jace is always yelling at him when clary goes missing as if he can be held responsible for her, and poor soul is just so unhappy

book Alec: not going to mention the writing because it’s so atrocious and ah shit, I already did!!!! seriously, Alec gets treated badly by jace mostly all throughout the series. Alec constantly has to save his life in every book. he’s made to feel that he needs to come out. even Magnus (WHY MAGNUS) is pushing Alec to come out and coming after A TEENAGE ALEC. I feel like Alec is simply not happy basically throughout the whole TMI series. he’s made to be biphobic, acting as though Magnus can’t have a past, tries to make Magnus mortal (ALEC WOULD NEVER), and dude can’t even be his own person without thinking of jace. he’s so badly written and cc has damaged his character so much. I genuinely hope in my world, he’s more like show Alec and living his best and carefree healthy life with Magnus 🥰

show Alec: MY FAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! his parents are on him for saving the family honor and reputation (because of fucking clary ew), then Maryse gets mad after Alec finally chooses for himself, jace is always using him and expecting Alec to drop everything and save him, clary does the same and doesn’t care about the rules just what she wants. Lydia was such a small character and I know some don’t like her but at least she was nice towards Alec.

honestly in majority of the first season, everyone is yelling or getting shitty with Alec. I’m sorry but this man is so reasonable and lenient. he has let a ton of shit fly!!!! if I was in charge of the institute, I would’ve shipped clarys annoying ass off somewhere else. sorry but not my problem 💀 and the way jace treats Alec is unforgivable. I really wanted Alec to give in and go off completely. I’m glad he stands up for himself cause boy did not have the honor to do it in the books. we know we get the “I’m not your bitch” line but let’s be honest, Alec isn’t his own person.

I’m just amazed he never went completely unhinged. Magnus, Lydia, Izzy (mostly) are probably the only people who are nice to Alec and don’t treat him badly. a little bit of Simon too!!!!! Alec seriously deserved a huge vacation after season one. I’m amazed he stuck by jaces side after all jace did. let that fucker die and stay dead, please!!! IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT LMAO

just major props to Alec for not losing his shit and being one of the best characters ever. I can see why Matt is so proud of Alec and whoever changed show Alec and made him better, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

because what the fuck was it with jace saying “oh Alec will be here.” like Alec has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be involved with all the missions clary is trying to accomplish (bitch there are rules wtf), resulting in his family’s reputation, Izzy being almost reduned. he expects Alec to do whatever he says. and then when ms. I don’t care about the rules so I’ll run away does indeed run away, jace says Alec isn’t doing his best. might I add, is crossing the line. Alec has done so much for you, you ungrateful unworthy ass!!!!!! somebody needed to beat this child I swear

he gets to be happy with Magnus and actually shows what a healthy and fun relationship is. tries to change the relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters. MAKING HISTORY!! is probably the best leader ever in my opinion. he’s just out here thriving

also wish they would’ve kept his sassiness throughout the seasons. imagine his range and sass please. WE NEEDED IT

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Yanni Yogi

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Case 1-4, “Turnabout Goodbyes,” is sort of the grand finale of the original Ace Attorney, and it ends the overarching story in a very satisfying way. We have the culmination of Phoenix and Edgeworth’s character arcs as well as elaboration on their shared history, we get some interesting developments about the past, and it features some of the most iconic moments in the entire series, from pointing out that it almost being Christmas means it wasn’t actually Christmas yet to cross-examining an actual parrot on the witness stand. Throw in the debut of charming hick photographer Lotta Hart and Larry Butz proving himself to be a bumbling asset, and you have one of the best and strongest cases the game has to offer (though in contrast with a lot of the rest of the series, it feels a bit easy).

Of course, a good case would be absolutely nothing without a good mystery leading into an impressive villain, and this case manages to have two! The first of them is without a doubt one of the single most sympathetic killers in the series, if not the most sympathetic: Yanni Yogi. Formerly a courtroom bailiff, being implicated in the DL-6 incident led to his entire life being ruined even if he was able to walk free. And in 1-4, he decides that enough is enough and he wants to get even. How exactly is this sympathetic? Well, that’s what this analysis is for.

Motivation/Goals: To put things extremely simply, Yogi’s goal is revenge. But nothing about 1-4 is simple, so let’s take the opportunity to do something that will be unique to some of these Ace Attorney analyses: Discuss the victim, Robert Hammond.

Hammond would likely have been worthy of a Psycho Analysis on his own if he wasn’t already dead; the man was a defense attorney who only cared about winning his cases, a very dark reminder that it isn’t just the prosecutors who are amoral in this series. Hammond took on Yogi after DL-6 and forced the poor guy to play the part of an insane man so that he could get out of the murder charges levied against him by Gregory Edgeworth’s ghost. And it worked! Yogi went free! There was just one teeny tiny little issue:

Yogi’s life was fucking destroyed.

Socially he ended up as an outcast, and things got to the point where his fiancee Polly committed suicide after dealing with the backlash. What’s more, Yogi was forced to continue living out his life as a deranged man, unable to really go back to normal. And keep in mind: All of this was done to free him from the consequences of a crime he didn’t commit, a crime he was only accused of because the victim’s spirit couldn’t possibly have known the real murderer was lurking outside the elevator.

It’s genuinely hard to blame Yogi for capping Hammond, because the dude was an utter asshole who demonstrably ruined Yogi’s life. Hammond absolutely deserved what was coming to him. Now, framing Miles Edgeworth, on the other hand… That’s a lot less forgivable. Edgeworth certainly never meant Yogi any harm, and he had just as poor an understanding of the situation as both his dead father and Yogi himself. No one involved here was on the same page, and all of them were being manipulated by the real murderer as part of his master plan to get his ultimate revenge.

Performance: In the live action movie, Yogi is portrayed by Fumiyo Kohinata, and to say he kills it in the role is an understatement. I think a lot of it comes from the movie showing rather than simply telling when it comes to Yogi’s horribly tragic backstory, with him getting to act out his reactions to Hammond’s cruelty towards him as well as stumbling across his wife’s body post-suicide, but he definitely ends up as one of the strongest aspects of an already stellar adaptation.

Breakdown: Yogi actually has one of the more lowkey breakdowns in the series when it comes to sympathetic killers, almost to the point that he doesn’t really have a breakdown. One minute he’s the teetering, goofy old man:

And then one avian cross-examination later, he gives up the goat and reveals his true self:

I actually think the lack of an extreme reaction gives Yogi a unique level of dignity and really highlights how utterly tragic his circumstances were, even if he really didn’t go about things in the best way.

Best Scene: The movie actually shows Yogi finding his wife’s body, and if it didn’t hit home how absolutely miserable and tragic this poor man’s life was before, well, here you go.

Final Thoughts & Score: More than any other sympathetic killer in the series, Yogi is the one who my heart goes out to most.

Yes, he’s not as friendly and charming as Acro, and he’s definitely not anywhere near as sexy as Geiru Toneido, but if you look at the facts this guy genuinely just didn’t deserve anything that happened to him. He didn’t kill Gregory Edgeworth, but no one believed him, not even his own lawyer; said lawyer forced him to pretend to be insane, which even if it got him free ruined his reputation and caused his beloved fiancee to kill herself; he ended up being stuck pretending to be a lunatic for years to keep suspicion off of himself even though, again, he was innocent; and then he ends up being used as a pawn in a convoluted revenge scheme. His only real crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time on that fateful day.

All of this really helps make Yogi the most pitiable villain out there. He is just a sad old man forced to live as something he’s not, and who lost literally everything. And after all that, the sole victory he managed to achieve was rendered completely hollow by the fact he ended up caught, being exposed in court, and then having the truth of DL-6 brought into the light, something that would have acted as his complete vindication had he not decided to kill. In the end, all he did was ensure his parrot was going to have to be taken in by someone else and perhaps even get himself the death penalty.

Yogi gets a 9/10 from me. A lot of this really comes from the movie more than anything, not because it’s better than the game version but because it expands upon and shows what the game already told us to great effect. He’s a fantastic sympathetic killer and one of the best tragic villains of the series, and the one all others should be measured against.

[wrestlingarsenal]

I love how Kayden Keller recently crossed the pond to beat down the British wanna-be's from the UK Wrestling Hub. Really, "Great" Britain, does 'Merica have to kick your ass all over again??

UK Wrestling Hub recently posted a series of videos from Kayden's triumphant visit, featuring several guys on their roster bent and broken under King Kayden's reign. (To be fair, Kayden also plays the out-matched jobber in a few of their videos, including #135 where he gets double-teamed in American Flag trunks -- hot!)

For this total squash of former-champ Red Redemption in Match #130, our American invader wore a pair of sexy leopard trunks to convey his Lord of the Jungle savagery.

(An honorable mention goes Red for putting Kayden over as a threat to the entire UKWH roster by acting like such a defenseless little jobber.  And for wearing those skimpy baby-blue briefs that barely conceal his big dick! Great selling dude - we appreciate it on this side of the pond.)

I don't think it's patriotic pride alone that makes Kayden's dominance over Red so exciting to me -- although I hope he continues beating down every Brit Pro he can get his hands on because it's turning me on!  Red's helplessness and vulnerability remind me of the traditional Brit Pro wrestling televised during the 1980s, where a young "Blue-Eye" was invariably thrown in the ring with some older, heavier monster, often a foreigner, who just mauls the poor kid (most of the Heel-bait young Brits had "Kid" somewhere in their name.)  The fans seemed to love watching their young jobbers being ripped apart in these lopsided match-ups, because it became the Brit Pro formula.

Historically, the British people and media have tended to make heroes out of hopeless dreamers who face overwhelming odds, fail, and die: Sir Edmund Hilary. Robert Falcon Scott. The charge of the light brigade. Ernest Shackleton (did not die, but failed mightily.) This history of honourable, stiff-upper-lip tenacity may explain why Brit Pro Wrestling fans crave seeing a lithe young Blue-Eye utterly squashed by a brute -- maybe simply because it's hot to watch.

In the end, the primary reason I got off on Red's utter defeat has more to do with his prior victory over my favorite UKWH guy -- T World. Red took T-World's belt in UKWH Match #81 and I've never forgiven him for beating down my man T.  I've been eager for someone to whup Red like a red-headed stepchild and put him in his place, to make him pay for humiliating my man.  And Kayden gotter done.

[sexwithsophie]

Kickstarter Smarter With Sophie: Scamtastic

EDIT: I actually turned this into an article, if you want to read it here: withsophie.co/post/scamtastic

Not sure if this happened to anyone else, but I was approached midway through my failing @kickstarter campaign by someone who presented themselves as a kindly man curious to know why it wasn't doing better when it looked so great. He said he was William La Mont and that as a collaborator on a wildly successful project with Vortic Watches that brought in over $350K, he wanted to apply his skills to help me in my campaign.

His profile appeared to match the collaborator from the actual page, because he has the same profile photo and zero backed projects, just like the William from the campaign.

Plus, it was all searchable from Kickstarter.com, so I knew it wasn't a fake or cloned page. Interested, but broke, I told him I had no money. He said, "Did I ask you for any money?" and acted like he wanted to take me on sort of as a pet project. His apparent previous success was tantalizing!

But things just seemed too good to be true, so I dug a bit. I asked him if he wouldn't mind me reaching out to the project lead, Robert Custer, and he said that he would be happy for me to do so. He even gave me Robert's email address! Only problem? It was a gmail address. So, I found the company website and emailed them directly, as well as emailing the gmail one. WIthin minutes, I received a glowing recommendation for William from the gmail account! A little toooo glowing. It looked like something hot off the ChatGPT presses.

That wasn't a smoking gun in and of itself, though, because Robert wrote as if English wasn't his first language, so of course their writing styles would be different. Still, I decided to find and add both William and Robert on LinkedIn. I figured that if it were really them, they could confirm. If not, I could make them aware of what was going on in their names. This all happened several weeks ago, and Robert just confirmed me as a friend yesterday. I wrote him a message about all this, but still haven't heard back.

I solidly figured out it was a scam though, because even though William's account is private, he wrote to me, so I can see the date he joined KS: March 2024. But look at the date the project he supposedly helped on was closed:

So what kind of help were you providing them five months into the past, sir? As desperate as I was about the poor performance of my campaign, and this being my first Kickstarter, I may have fallen for this guy's shenanigans had I not been a little savvy. I genuinely shudder to think about this dude preying on someone who doesn't happen to certified in the Management of Information Technology.

And how diabolical was this??? This guy either created a fake account and used William's name and image, or he convinced Robert to add him as a collaborator after-the-fact somehow. Can you even do that? And what would he have done? He was going on about doing TikTok and LinkedIn ads, so perhaps he would have asked me to entrust the management of them to him? Or tried to convince me to add him as a collaborator on my campaign, as well?

I don't know, but what I do know is that you need to SAY NO to any and everything that comes to you via Kickstarter's messenger. And report every single last one of those bastards.

____________________________________________________________

If you'd like to learn more tales about what I did wrong so that you don't make my same mistakes, if you'd like to be notified when I give crowdfunding another go, or if you want to learn more about my Adult Lifestyle Programs, CLICK HERE to join my mailing list!

[fareehaandspaniards]

I am starting to collect all my headcanons about Gremia! This post is created to make my head empty again, so I can start create something new, but if anyone wants to read my Deep Dark Fantasies - enjoy xD

(traditionally a portrait! One day I will have portrait of EVERY character of BB, but for now I drew 7!)

Should I start by saying that creating an image of a character like Sir Gremia is an extremely fascinating endeavor, because 90% of his image is my personal fantasy and kinks, since the game gives almost no information about him?

What we have in the game:

An old generation Tomb Prospector, as he can be summoned to Ebraitas (and funnily enough, ONLY to her. He's not available ANYWHERE else in the game at all. Unique sir xd)

Default Face Model. Who knows if it was his face model that became the default because the developers decided not to bother, or if he had a different face but it was removed, but still he is the only npc without a mask with a default face. He has a slightly swarthy skin, long nose, protruding forward chin, age wrinkles, narrow lips, gray (maybe gray-blue?) eyes.

Wild fighting style - in my case, when I tried to summon Damian and Gremia to Ebraitas in turn, the difference was obvious xD If Damian walked around the enemy and kept a distance, throwing magic and sometimes getting hit, Gremia rushed into the fight and literally crushed the unfortunate Great One to the wall xd (what a man)

His name is !Sir! Gremia. How many other sirs are there in Bloodborne? Fucking zero. So he's got a title somewhere. Is he a current captain of Tomb Prospectors? (Tho they almost all died already I suppose?) Did he receive that title for his service? Is he noble from the beginning?

Okay, model, name, fighting style and church weapons, augur ebrietas, plus torch and...

(he's saying "That's all!" xd)

And now we can move on to the headcanons, since THAT character has been given a tribute in the form of listing his CANON traits, now we can throw in a LITTLE bit of my thoughts (I used to think that Edgar and other npcs with no lines or anything else were the peak of comedy, especially when the fans get a personality for all these dudes. But Sir Gremia is a new level. The poor man doesn't even have a face of his own lol).

So.

Let me start by saying that I changed his appearance a LITTLE bit. Basically changed his eye color to brown (I really want brown eyes, but I'll probably go back to the canonical gray version later Q_Q), and added a couple of scars and burn marks. And so I gave him short, dark, brown hair, and impressive musculature, since I have a headcanon that he spent ALL his free time working out and improving his physical form, as he saw it as the best way to survive. Periodically, the Church would make him read, if only to ensure he knew the Church's prayers and precepts, but Gremia would be extremely resistant to this endeavor, as he simply couldn't read (and didn't want to, I'll tell later why)

He was recruited into the Tomb Prospector ranks because of his fighting ability, physical strength and a great desire to be among them. It seems to me that Ludwig himself was responsible for recruiting the first generation of Tomb Prospectors, as his Holy Sword of Moonlight was retrieved from the dungeons, so as the first Church hunter, he may have been their commander for a while. That's exactly how I headcanoned it. And it was Ludwig who accepted Olek, Gremia and Damian into the squad, and the rest (naturally, there are also other Tomb Prospectors. Can't a task as extensive as pulling numerous goodies from the tombs of the Pthumerians and beyond be done by 3 men and one horse (Ludwig)). Gremia was a beggar, so poor that his main livelihood as a child was stealing, and later it became fights where bets were placed on people (this I borrow a bit from the movie "Sherlock Holmes" with Robert Downey Jr. Oh, and it's an interesting topic in general). Actually he could have become one of the hunters Gehrman mentored, I don't think it mattered to him what the origin of his charges was, but being Tomb Prospector is more prestigious, more expensive, more interesting. Besides, at that point, could Gremia have calculated that this case was safer? Hunting is fine, but hunters die in huge numbers, it seems to me. If we take a large city like Yharnam and imagine how many volunteers and common hunters could have died from disease/blood poisoning/beast curse/just a lack of fighting skills or a single mistake - it gets creepy. SO anyway he met Damian there, as a recruit to Tomb Prospectors.

Gremia was a very open-minded young man in his youth. As I wrote in a post with headcanons on Damian (here<3), he is "what I think is what I say" type. He jokes constantly, VERY much, and comes up with a variety of puns, often ruining the atmosphere or the moment, but it's easier for him to accept reality and present himself to people that way. Through jokes, he distracts himself from the horror of what is happening around him. If in young Damian's vision this trait was extremely annoying, then I think by the time of the game events, Damian would really miss his goofiness, because when your life consists of suffering, disappointments and shattered dreams, this is the only way to distract yourself (I like to imagine how Gremia constantly grabbed all sorts of artifacts found by their squad in the tombs, and tried them on himself, and then laughed out loud).

He's a great fighter, which is probably obvious since he's still alive by the time the player arrives to the Chalice of Isz? He uses Rosmarinus and Augur of Ebrietas, but not a Call Beyond. Funny that Edgar has the same equipment as him except for Torch! I have a headcanon that Edgar doesn't accept Great Ones as something good or an idol, and I think Gremia isn't a woshipper as well. But if Edgar sorta hates hates them in my vision, Gremia would be afraid of them? He is not a scientist, so why couldn't he see them as something terrifying?

GREMIAN stuff! Gremia was all manly man - "I never cry", "you can cry on my shoulder", "you're like a girl", "long hair is for women" and so on, but inside, he was still a very vulnerable creature, most of all craving affection and the very "tenderness" that was "not for him". He could reproach Damian for being overly sensitive, for his long hair, because it was impractical, for being careful in battle and for the fact that he always stays somewhere behind instead of rushing forward with him, as befits a real warrior (the image of a "warrior" could be gained from the only fairy tale books Gremia was read as a child, and also from the "the strongest survives" principle. I think as man from the poorest stratum of Yharnam, Gremia couldn't read and only learned it as an adult, but with great difficulty). All these reproaches would make their relationship prickly, but calling Damian effeminate would Gremia think of him only more and more? And the jokes in which he would constantly mention how Damian reminds him of a girl would be incomprehensible to Damian himself, but would simply mean that Gremia is constantly thinking about it. Gremia is the type who will say "no homo" his whole life, whether it's accepting help on which his life depends, holding hands with a friend, in bed with lover or on his deathbed, etc. xd Also "If he's cute and I'm top, it's not gay" lol (funny how most Russian anecdotes are based on this very phrase. Ironically, our anecdotes have men getting laid all the time, and I find it a curious social phenomenon, since our older generation doesn't accept LGBT in ANY way but still finds funny those goofy anecdotes about two men fucking xD). Gremia:

Damian would be exactly a "girl" to him, as I said, even though Damian himself is only related to femininity by his caring nature and long hair? Gremia would just really like to patronize him, making him "weak" in his own mind, but Damian was too young to see feelings in silly undercurrents and constant rebukes. I headcanon that Damian came to Tomb Prospectors from being a librarian, i mean, in Byrgenwerth he was in charge of the book archive. And the fact that a bookworm was trying to become a fighter would have made Gremia extremely nervous at first - he would have tried to teach him (even though he didn't ask for it), rebuke him, show him how much better Gremia himself was with weapons and all that. All in all this attitude would lead to their open conflicts at first, which would piss Ludwig off immensely as a leader (who would suggest them find a room lol). But gradually, Gremia would finally be able to express, that by constantly pestering Damian, he's just trying to care and actually genuinely worried if he survives against the dead of the catacombs and what happens to him. Gremia does care, he just doesn't know how to show it.

Gradually Damian would improve his fighting, get used to it, stop keeping behind the rest of the team and being afraid, and start guarding Gremia himself, because he was a great friend and comrade for him, even though he sometimes behaved inappropriately. It would break the whole image that Gremia had formed of Damian, but it would fuel his interest. After all, usually the manliest men are the ones who dream of being protected and petted. That would be where the real "camaraderie" and partnership would begin, the time when they could be a better team. Soon would be discovered Chalice of Isz, and of course, by this particular couple. (I headcanon VERY strongly that in one of the missions a fire of love happened between them, either by adrenaline or generally flowing out of their relationship, and there was passion, but this incident they didn't discuss in any way, and Gremia was the first to brush it off that it wasn't all that serious, though he was waiting for Damian to deny it). Gremia's feelings at this point would be boiling like a huge brew in a red-hot cauldron, but he would be afraid to voice them, instead of this trying to flirt with Damian, whose thoughts were entirely occupied with young Micolash. But Gremia had no way of knowing that his best friend and partner would soon leave the service he had devoted a large part of his life to?

Some time after that, when the Choir was founded, Damian began to distance himself from Tomb Prospectors, spending more time with the scholars of the Choir and even receiving an offer to become one of them. Expeditions down into the endless labyrinths still continued, but it was no longer as idyllic as it used to be, and Damian started carrying around a beautiful talisman - a medallion with the image of Micolash' eye, already blue, a beautiful English tradition from the days of Victorian England :^) Like one of those:

Gremia and Damian's views on Ebraitas differed - Damian took Micolash's point of view, wanting to know the rest of the Great Ones, their nature and etc, and was generally respectful. While Gremia was afraid of them. He, a man of a down-to-earth mindset, would not accept a monster as an idol. And fear would not encourage him to worship, but rather repel him.

When Micolash made the decision to leave the Choir, Damian followed him and visited his former colleagues one last time, only to say goodbye and leave his armor. Gremia was shattered, and the Damian had no idea that their union meant absolutely everything to Gremia, and that he was in love. That's when their biggest conflict happened, a real drama where Gremia left the other with a dislocated jaw in response to his coldness, as well as saying lots of bad things to him, saying everything he felt (except his true feelings), and generally making Damian think he was hated. Maybe Damian would have tried to look deeper into his soul, but Gremia closed himself off too aggressively, and Damian had already pledged his loyalty to Micolash and he doesn't break promises. In general, both remained sure that they do not want to see each other. Gremia's heart was broken, but he could not express it in anything but a crushing everything around, and so after angry Damian left, he shed tears for a long time and closed himself off from everyone for a while.

WOW GUYS what a drama I created, good job me??????? I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING MY BRILLIANT FANFIC LOL

("Moments of unbridled imagination" says the pic)

No, really, I am sorry for all of this what you are reading, since it all just appeared from my head as I looked at sir Gremia. I feel for him and Damian with all of those at the same time:

ANYWAY

Gradually, Gremia would seal his poor heart and continue his service, finding an outlet in it. While Damian was busy with science (kidnapping people for Micolash, organizing the School of MensTits and caring for a fully grown but unstable man), Gremia seriously tried to find a hobby, any hobby that would take his mind off memories about Damian - so he learned how to read and generally began pestering the Choir scholars with inquisitive questions about the faith, tried to find a mate in Olek, studied the Church's weapons, and even had a few love affairs. But nothing seemed to get better. He enjoyed communicating with the children from the orphanage, whom the Choir continued to take in. And loved to talk with Edgar, as one of the many Choir guys and later someone who could see Damian through his spying mission. Gremia had even told him stories about Damian, under the pretense that he wanted to warn him, but ended up spilling Damian's entire youth to Edgar with some delicate details, exclusively moments unrelated to combat in any way. No, well, the fact that he can cook is extremely important to Edgar? (no). Also, Gremia taught Edgar how to fight (because Gremia VERY much wanted to, and Edgar couldn't say no), so Edgar inherited his fighting style.

During his service, he also realized his long-held dream - he was given the noble title of Sir. Although Gremia claimed to despise the aristocracy of Yharnam, he always wanted to feel "higher" than he was, so Ludwig knighted him with Laurence, and appointed him head of the Tomb Prospectos (sadly, there was soon almost no Tomb Prospectors left. But Gremia always wore the title proudly, and mentioned that he was "sir" every chance he got).

As he matured, Gremia was no longer so boastful about his manhood, but became more confident and relaxed, though his parade of jokes remained with him. The feelings he had for Damian, despite calling him a "traitor", no longer seemed strange or foolish, and he accepted them. Gremia had become a fine man, a true support and simply a good human, who had finally accepted his inner sensitivity and desire to nurture and mentor. (Left without Damian, he no longer worried about what the other one would think of him, so he let himself go, and simply wanted to become better for Damian, so that he might one day impress him or even win him back.)

Over the years, Gremia and Damian had forgiven each other for the last goodbye, and Gremia only wished that Damian would finally stop following Micolash and come back. Gremia and Damian crossed paths once, when Damian was taking care of provisions for the School of Mensis. They pointed their weapons at each other, but Gremia noticed for himself how much Damian had aged, how much he had changed, how much colder he had become. Damian felt a huge guilt towards his former comrade and asked if the Gremia held a grudge for all that happened between them. Gremia would have suggested Damian to leave Micolash, reminded him that the School of Mensis was an immoral fuck-up and Damian wasn't like that at all, and complained that they were almost the same age, only Gremia looked young, having earned only a couple of age wrinkles, while Damian had sand falling out of him (he would have definitely asked why Damian had a huge cage-shaped thing on his head and where the fuck are his eyebrows xd). But Damian is a man of his word, and so they would have drifted apart again, still as warring sides, Church and School of Mensis, only now knowing there was no offense between them. I can directly see this all right here, this is definitely going to become a fanfic when I start writing it.

When the Mensis ritual happened, when Rom became a Vacuous Spider, when Caryll disappeared, when Edgar died, when Damian lost everyone he knew, he thought he was alone. But Gremia was still waiting for him. I wrote once before in a post that Damian ended his life after Micolash died in a Nightmare, but I don't like that end of his life at all, and I didn't know that there was such a wonderful Gremia who LOVED him all his life (whoops how lucky Damian is!). So after visiting Micolash one last time and making sure that the aura of presence was gone from the mummy and the nightmare was over - a new dawn was beginning in Yharnam, this time a true dawn, the two of them could leave the city and finally live like normal people, at least at the end of their lives.

Happy end achieved yay!

Little headcanons I forgot to mention in all this writing:

When Gremia was seriously injured during a battle and was paralyzed and bedridden for a while, Damian would come to read to him. He would read everything from children's books to poems and ballads, and Gremia would listen intently, memorizing the stories and often falling asleep to his voice.

Micolash in this entire timeline and headcanon, if he ever had a romantic relationship with Damian, it was only in the School of Mensis. However, seeing Gremia's blatant interest, he would deliberately take Damian's attention back to himself. Not that he needed the attention badly. It was just that he needed to signify that Damian was his, perhaps even as a thing. That's the kind of person he is xd Well, how not to piss off such a susceptible Gremia who lights up like a torch? Gremia's excessive jealousy led to quarrels, and it was extremely amusing for Micolash to watch it. Ugh not nice xd When Damian left everything for Micolash, Gremia was just like that: (Why him and not me?!)

Gremia is almost permanently horny. It's such a character trait, I don't know what to say xd And because of that, his frequent fantasies led to him often secluding himself with exciting thoughts, often hiding very poorly that all his thoughts are specifically about Damian (if he saw Damian in a woman's dress, he would die I SWEAR (from the hardest boner in his whole life)

Ludwig was always there for all of Tomb Prospectors, but Gremia seeked his help more in love affairs, asking for advice - what to do with Damian, because Ludwig seemed to him very experienced man xD

WHOEVER you are thanks for reading my fanfic, if you are reading this line! xd Sorry for couple of russian memes, they are too expressive and perfect here. Sorry for sorry, I am tired and could think of it more, add more headcanons, connected with the GAME EVENTS but my head is fucking full, and if won't put my fantasies somewhere, I can't create something new ;_; Anyway I am not sure anyone would read all of this

lol

1:40 AM I am fucked up bye

[ohtobealady]

helloooo!!! i think you are one of my favorite writers for Downton Abbey. Like I’m actually star struck writing this heheheh. Ok anyway…*focus*…. Would you be interested in writing a fic about Rosamund realizing that Cora is losing interest in Robert (AU) during there first year of marriage and Robert hasn’t told Cora he loves her. Basically Robert is being a Donk and Cora is losing interest but we as an audience knows Robert loves her but Rosamund sees Cora losing interest and there’s a big dinner and Cora is talking/flirting with this guy and Ros goes to Robert and is like “dude, your loosing her” and we see Robert be like “wait Cora I love you” lol if that makes sense. Its been like a story playing in my head but I stink at writing. lol love ya

Anonny! First of all, wow! Thank you!!! That’s so so so nice of you! Too nice haha. Second, your prompt is so cute, but I’m afraid I didn’t do it justice. I would love to read your version, but I couldn’t turn it out exactly as you hoped. It’s my headcanon that poor baby Cora was just head over heels for young Donk, bless her heart. So I took your prompt as inspiration, for sure, but forgive me for not following it to a T. Anyway, obviously I love you too! Haha! Hope you do find something in this mess below you enjoy:

——————————————————————-

He kept hearing her words in his head, again and again, echoing around. He heard Cora’s words even above the genteel scrape of silverware on porcelain. Even above his sister’s pitchy niceties beside him. Even above his mother and father and cousins and friends and everyone else who peopled the London table he dined at. He heard his wife’s sharp, “I thought you at least liked me!” again and again.

Oh, they’d been arguing for days now. Weeks, even. Two months. Ever since their return to Downton had proven their honeymoon had been fruitless, a disappointment to both their fathers, and that duties beyond the conception of an heir now also lay at their feet.

And the weight of these duties—committees to sit, charities to head, luncheons to host, tenants to mind—made the one enormous, all-important duty more and more difficult to achieve. More difficult, for Robert, to perform.

He’d want to. He’d go into her room and he’d touch her. He’d kiss her. He’d want to, and then he’d feel the phantom breath of his father on his neck, and he could not.

And he had not—they had not—in three weeks time, even as they descended upon London for the Season. Even as they tried their best to keep up the facade of happy newlyweds, every eye in every ballroom narrowing their rather critical gaze upon her hand in the loop of his arm. Oh, his mother had warned him to prepare himself. Rosamund, still nattering on beside him, had done so too, reminding him that his and Cora’s engagement had happened really after the Season had ended. They had, very purposefully, not invited the whole of London to their wedding and every single person was curious about them! Their marriage was peculiar, he knew. Their union had been rushed and unexpected, of course. And more than that, everyone had known Robert since he was small, had thrown their daughters at him since he turned twenty-one to no avail…and so they knew precisely why that pretty American girl—that Levinson millionairess—had seemingly won him.

But Cora played her part well: the happy new bride. And Robert, too, touching at her gloved elbow as they moved to their seats at a concert or helping her down from the hansom as they went into a museum. No. As far as Robert could tell, no one was aware of the truth of their current state outside of he and Cora. Even Rosamund, who now chewed rather noisily beside him, was unaware that Robert and Cora brought with them to their parents’ London house a tension between them that would snap the moment someone mentioned it. And certainly not the suave Lord Hutton who chatted lowly beside Cora on the other side of the table. He, too, was unaware that Robert had not lain with his wife for twenty-two days. His wife who, as Robert watched her, grew more charming by the moment.

But how could he? How could he let himself when everyone around him, every event, every dance and dinner, reminded him he’d wooed her for the thing that was so plainly obvious: Money.

She smiled at the man beside her, coquettishly, and glanced down into her plate.

Robert noticed that.

He noticed, too, how from a certain distance his wife seemed so unlike the woman she was up in her room. With him. At a certain distance, a distance of just across the dining table, Cora was startlingly beautiful.

When had that happened?

It wasn’t the approachable warmth he’d grown to know in these four months they’d been man and wife. Nor was it the modest—even chaste—prettiness he’d found in her in their courtship. But beautiful. She was beautiful. Oddly so, not really like any of the other women around him (least of all Rosamund) but—by God—so alluringly, beautiful.

Now, though. At the way Cora sipped at her wine, the deep red staining at her bottom lip; at the way Cora lifted her chin and somehow exposed the length of her smooth neck, the soft shadows that slept at her collar bones; at the way she lifted her searching eyes to that man, eyes that Robert had learned could communicate so much more than her mouth could possibly articulate, Cora had changed. Robert realized that somewhere, at some uncertain point in time between their wedding night and this night, Cora had learned to flirt. She’d learned attraction.

And she played the game well enough for his tummy to turn over.

He picked up his wineglass as Rosamund leaned to her left. “What’s happened?”

Robert grimaced and cut eyes at his mother who was engaged with the old Baron she sat besides. Why she placed he and Rosamund beside one another made no sense whatsoever to him and he frowned at her, though of course she wouldn’t see. Rosamund, however, did.

“Robert. You’re pouting.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not pouting—“

“—No, no. My mistake,” her tone was too like their mama’s. “You’ve only got a bit of dyspepsia? From all the dinner you haven’t touched?”

Robert felt himself huff, instinctively, and dropped his knife onto his plate. “And why are my eating habits of a particular interest to you? Hmm? Or are you wanting to have my dinner in addition to your own?”

But to his surprise, his sister did not retort the way he had expected. Instead, he watched as she pursed her lips, and raising her glass of wine, moved her gaze to where Robert’s had been all evening: Cora.

And his heart felt thicker behind his ribs.

“I’m still rather unsure about her.” Her voice was lower, and Robert had to slow his breathing to hear her better. “Though of course, I’m allowed to be. You, however—“

Robert watched her take a sip of her wine. And then he waited. “I what?” He said after another moment.

Rosamund put down her glass, and, shaking her head, picked up her fork and knife. “Well, what do you think happens, hmm? A young wife uncared for by her husband?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He stabbed the beef on his plate and lifted it. “Of course I care for her.”

His sister lifted her chin. “Of course,” she echoed. “And she knows this?”

“Certainly,” he slid the beef from the fork between his teeth and began to chew. “After all, I respect her privacy. She’s allowed to do as she pleases,” he swallowed. “I ensure she has what she needs, what she wants, and try not to interfere.”

“Indeed,” Rosamund, too, pierced a potato with the prongs of her fork. “A woman knows a man truly cares when he leaves her well enough alone.”

Robert felt his mouth fall slacker, “No, I —“ he collected himself. “That isn’t what I meant. I don’t wish to bother her or force myself on her.”

“No?”

“Of course not.” He moved his mouth, but discovered he couldn’t find the words to go on. “It isn’t—“ he tried. “That is—“

“I used to think that you only pretended to be much nicer than the rest of us. Nobler. Très moral.” Rosamund sighed. “And now that I see that you really are, I pity you.”

“Pity me?” Robert tried to laugh. “I don’t need your pity. There’s nothing for you to pity me over.”

“No?”

“No.”

At this his sister laughed, too, but only once, and looked into her lap. “She married you willingly, Robert.” She caught his eye. “She married you in spite of all those others we both saw dance with her.” She dabbed her serviette at the corner of her mouth. “For some reason she chose you. But instead of enjoying your sheer luck, you’d prefer to feel guilty that you’d been in the game at all.”

And then, in his periphery, Robert saw as his mother turned, knowing he’d too have to turn to Lady Shackleton on his left. “You don’t know that — That isn’t —,” he managed to whisper at Rosamund’s smug smirk before he felt himself shift, bringing his gaze across the table again and catching, for a moment, his wife’s eye.

She broke away as soon as their eyes met, her eyes shifting quickly to her lap, and then to the old Baron beside her. He could hear her talk louder, and he knew she’d been told that the Baron was deaf in one ear.

“—Italy?”

Robert collected himself. He swallowed. Lady Shackleton’s kind smile warmed her dark eyes.

“I have always wanted to go to Venice, but have never been quite so far East. Did you enjoy it?”

He nodded. “Yes,” he answered, for it was the truth. They had enjoyed it. He had enjoyed it there with her. “Yes, very much.”

“And what did you do? Besides of course what all honeymooners do!” Robert felt his face grow crimson as she chuckled, though he wasn’t sure she meant quite what she had said. “The gondolas? Museums?”

“Both,” he managed. He nodded. “We …” he trailed off and thought of her there, Cora laughing at a street performer; Cora pointing up at the arches of St Mark’s Square; Cora looking up at him and smiling when he read from their guide book. “We saw most everything there was, I believe.

“Oh, to be young,” Lady Shackleton was laughing as she sighed, and he noticed her gaze was across from them. “I must try my best to catch your lovely wife as we go through. I do hope to know her better. After all, I’ve known you since you were quite small. Seems only right that I give her a proper interview.”

“Yes,” he echoed, for no other words would come.

“Is there a topic you suggest I begin with?” He blinked at her, but she had asked in earnest. “Something of interest to her?”

His mind rapidly ran through conversations, interactions, various small exchanges where she’d spoken and he searched them to spot anything she’d ever mentioned she enjoyed. What was it that she liked? Art. She’d liked it when he’d shown her Papa’s della Francesca. And books. She’d asked him at least a dozen times since they’d returned what he was reading, if he liked it. Riding? No. She only came out with him because he’d liked it. And it was obvious she simply hated it and — suddenly, as if he’d taken a deep breath of cold air, his chest ached.

It was him. Cora was interested in … him.

“Ah.” Robert shook his head. He closed his mouth. He focused again on Lady Shackleton as she spoke. “Never mind.” Her smile softened into a knowing grin. “As I said, I have known you since you were very young.” Her fingertips touched his elbow. “I believe I can think of something.”

[inkedmyths]

S2: E6 "No Exit"

Brought to you by I'M SORRY I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THESE. HERE YOU GO

This episode featuring: Misogynistic tropes, Family Guy, the daddy issues continue, and Robert Smirke's 14 Fears

Silas: YAY

Kayla: hello queers and sam winchester

Compilation of Dean's dumbassery in the beginning, we love to see it

Ominous flickering lights! Great start

EWWWW GOOP

Hell is RIGHT baby bc its probably a demon or something

Oh boy mom and daughter fight

WHDHDHDHDHDHSH

Poor passerby family walking in on that

Yeah and you're young and blonde and therefore likely to get eaten by this thing, which I'm sure is the point

Melon: Oh to be born as a disposable horror movie character

ECTOPLASM

STATEPUFF MARSHMALLOW MAN EHDHDHD

WHSHSGSGSGS JUST WALKS UP TO HIM LIKE HI THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND AND DEAN'S LIKE uhhhhhhhhhhh ookay

Whshsgs yeah her moms not an idiot

Shes thinking abt stabbing u with it Dean

LOOK I GET THERE'S LIKE AN ISSUE WITH SEXISM BUT SHES SO STUPID

HAND

Anyways as I was saying its like "definitely a sexist character archetype" but also she really is stupid

Dean gonna get his hand bit or somethin just putting it in a vent w/a spirit

EWWW SCALP

Oh look another random blonde girl

Did they not check to see if there were any other blonde chicks in the building when investigating

DEAN WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING LIKE THAT??

He was fucking sleeping like that

Ah yes the tragic backstory bc of her dad dying

Ofc

Dude honey he has daddy issues out the wazoo this isn't something you want to be asking probably

Melon: Wait is she asking Dean for parent advice

Me: Asking what yhe first thing he thought of when he remembered his dad

Melon: MAAM

Me: Dean saying it was shooting bottles on a fence I Feel Like Thats A Lie

Melon: Ma’am this man exudes daddy issues in a 6 km radius at all times you really shouldn’t ask him anything about his dad

Melon: Does this look like the face of someone who was hugged as a child? No? Cause he wasn’t

Melon: Pretty sure any answer he gives could be a lie cause like I’m pretty sure the entirety of everything he’s ever done with his dad flashes simultaneously every time he remembers him.

Ohhhh so hanging people jn the field nextdoor ok that tracks

H. H. HOLMES? AMERICAS FIRST SERIAL KILLER

CLOROFORM

THE MURDER CASTLE I KNOW THIS FUCKIN GUY

Crazyyyyy

SHRIEKS THEY'RE JUST BASHING IN WALLS NOW?

LMAO DEAN

Girl u have no sense of self preservation

ALSO TIE YOUR HAIR BACK WHY ARE YOU WALKING IN SOME DINGEY ASS WALLS W/IT DOWN

HHHolmes blond girl. Joanna Beth? Isk.

ECTOPLASM

SCREAM

Time to start breaking walls

[ Crepe says to drink the ectoplasm like a milkshake. Do not do this. ]

Scratch marks..... where others have tried to get out

Oh I am not looking at the screwn while shes looking out of it bc creepy fuckers eye is gonna show up I just know it

OH THERES MULTIPLE GIRLS IN HERE

Theresa...

Rip in pieces

[ Melon appreciates the humor of using an acronym and then adding the rest of the statement. ]

Sam and Dean looking like dumbasses with their fuckin. Metal detector?

Into the sewers without delay we can't go wrong we know the waaaay

That ladder is pretty sketchy

What a creep

Ok scared him off for a sec

Dean army man crawling in a stupid little sewer

[ Melon notes that he's always felt showing someone crawling through a dark tunnel on their stomach is, in his opinion, one of the scariest things to be utilized in horror. I think there's a lot of merit in this; you can't go very fast, and you can't turn around, so if something else is in there with you... It occurs to me, that while we've warned away Melon from TMA for Prentiss reasons, I should show them MAG15. ]

WOO SPIRIT SHOOTIN

Eugg... bones...... the corpse of one of the victims

Well thats creepy as shit

Salt circled him

[ Crepe makes a reference to a Tumblr post about salt in hoola-hoops, instead of salt circles. I'm sure one of you guys could dig it up. ]

CONCRETE TRUCK LMAOOO DEAN WHERED YOU GET THAT

WHSHSHS THE AWKWARD SILENCDean stfu

LMAO

Well thats rough

[ More discussion comtinues on useful and hilarious solutions to demons and ghosts, such as holy water squirt gun, holy water humidifier, and salt infused hairspray flamethrower. ]

Like father like sons oh ma'am

Oh boy

AHAHA.

I mean I get being upset but also its stupid as hell

You can't blame someone for what their parent did thats fucking stupid

I mean I get being concerned that some traits carry over but this soecific behavior is stupid!

[ At some point around here, the episode ended. I, however, was hung up and DEEPLY offended by Jo's behavior at the very end. ]

Me: THE SINS OF THE FATHER ARE NOT THE SINS OF THE SON. BANGS HAND ON DOOR. DO YOU HEAR ME.

Melon: *cough* unfortunately pretty sure john could find a way to pass on his sins or smthn. Dudes done some weird shit

[ I rant about it a bit more. I'm so deeply, deeply offended. Then, a pivot into discussion about the monster of this ep. ]

Me: Anyways absolutely wild that the monster this ep was an irl serial killer

Me: Same energy as Robert Smirke being in the Magnus Archives

Kayla: ROBERT SMIRKE WAS REAL?

[ Needless to say, the conversation was immediately sidetracked. ]

Crepe: What did he do

Melon:

Kayla: BUILT STUFF AND ITS EVIL???

Me: WELL NOT IN REAL LIFE

Kayla: WHAT

Kayla: IS THAT A US GOV BUILDING

Kayla: HE DID BUILD REAL EVIL INK YOU LIAR

Kayla: THATS THE HIGHEST EVIL???

Me: Ok I can't argue with that actually

[ There's some more prattling about this, but I'll mainly leave you with this last thing. ]

Kayla: the us govt isnt its own fear?

Me: No that would be giving it too much credit

---

Well, needless to say, I can't say I'm a fan of Jo at this point. It's a bit frustrating, because it's very clear (to me anyways) that her characterization is the result of some annoying tropes. I can get behind the idea of her wanting to be like her father, and maybe being a bit reckless, but the treatment of her is just... idk. Really frustrating.

I probably would have been a lot more sympathetic if it weren't for that weird turn around at the end. I understand Helen seeing John in the brothers and having issues with that, but Jo? After surviving all that with them? I can understand feeling conflicted, but the way it was presented... hrgh. Irritating all around.

At least this episode had concrete truck. Keeping in theme with the TMA references, Adelard Deckard would be proud.

[pepperf]

Fic questions meme: going old school with 33

33: How do you feel about crack?

I love crackfic! I miss writing it, but it takes a certain energy to write it—both in terms of 'needing to channel a certain vibe' and 'needing actual energy'—and I'm really more of a 'needing a nap' kind of zone, these days.

I'm also kind of a hypocritical snob about it. Humour is a craft, like any other, and doing it well takes love, respect, and understanding of what you're doing—and a lack of sticks up arses. Good crackfic is very hard to sustain, and it's easy to tip over into, well, bad writing, with chaos and randomness as a poor substitute for actual humour. I won't—and couldn't—point out individual fics that I think aim at being crackfic and fail, but in terms of professional authors, I once threw a Robert Rankin book against a wall in sheer anger, for precisely this reason (hahaha wouldn't a time-travelling sprout be hilarious. It's so random. Gimme a break). I think there are more funny tumblr posters than funny professional authors anyhow, because it's seen as lesser, like porn (or smut, erotica, whatever it gets called). And similarly, I think people underestimate the power that it can have, when done right.

There are maybe three published authors that I rate in terms of writing what I'd consider crackfic: Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, and John M. Ford (yes, all dudes, but that's a reflection of the biases of the publishing industry, and of my complete lack of research into this, rather than women not being funny) (I also love Spider Robinson, who writes shaggy scifi dog stories of breathtaking artistry, but he's not as consistent). They've all written stuff that I think is absolute genius, while also being fucking hilarious, and in very different ways. Lots of other authors are hilarious in bursts within overall serious stories (some of my favourite books!), or funny all the time while not actually writing stories (also an incredible skill!).

So yeah, you've activated my super-secret I Have Strong Opinions About Humour In Fiction button, lol.

Thank you!

Questions here.

[rainy-sys]

it would be so funny to have a character that was weird as Fuck. like. does the craziest shit. maybe even a villain. like some funky dude that’s named something so mundane. like paul. or jared. or maybe like. john.

“WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS. THE ORPHANS. THE POOR CHILDREN.” “…….. it had to have been robert.”

[percontaion-points]

EatCoD chapter 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 4

“Your dad is Robert, Alpha of the Southeastern White Tooth pack.”

Why did the father only get a name after he was dead?

I scanned the car once more and couldn’t find a single thing that reminded me of home to bring with me.

Wow, it’s almost like she didn’t bring anything with her? And why would Aaron have stuff in HIS car that would remind Liz of HER home?

“That’s because you have a high fever. At least a hundred and seven.”

From google: Numbers that are cause for concern: 105°F – Go to the emergency room.

JFC, get her to a freaking hospital. 

I looked for anything I could use as a weapon.

[...]

Then I noticed a freestanding toilet paper caddy next to the toilet. It had a pointed end, maybe I could use it as a weapon? But what would I do with the toilet paper?

Oh no, think about the poor toilet paper!!

I dressed quickly, silently thanking whoever was in charge of getting me new clothes that they thought to buy a bra and some underwear. Red lace. Hmmm. Kinky. 

Something tells me that the bra isn’t going to be supportive. The kind of bra you wear only to tease your partner in the bedroom.

And honestly, I’d rather go without a bra than have to wear one of those under regular clothes. 

“Elizabeth? Why is the toilet paper caddy in here?”

Just going to leave this right here…

“Did you just call me dude?” Christian put the plate down in front of him and Avery poured the syrup on his pancakes. 

“Dude, nerd, asshole…” 

Avery put the syrup on the other side of his plate, away from Hunter. “Everybody knows that you take all of the syrup. I’d say that would make you the asshole in this room.” He shoved a triangle of pancakes in his mouth.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to read this for the rest of the series. 

SAID NOBODY. EVER. 

“Could I ride on one your backs?” 

Hunter rolled his eyes and a burst of laughter came from Christian. Hunter took the last plate from my hands. “No, you cannot just ride on our backs. We aren’t your pet.” 

Wow. Talk about a reaction. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.” 

“Not yet, anyway.”

Of course somebody makes it weird. 

I’d taken a couple days off at the mortgage company to deal with pack issues but my boss was going to worry if I didn’t come in soon.

I’ve seen enough true crime documentaries to know that somebody at her work is going to call the police. 

In a logical and just world, they’d see the bodies of Liz’s parents (because you KNOW that they wouldn’t have actually done anything with the bodies) and a huge investigation would kick off. 

But this is a shitty reverse harem romance series, so I’m expecting literally none of that.

There was a clawing in my stomach, ripping and shredding my insides, like a wild beast trying to get out.

Chapter 4 summary: Liz is quick to realise that it’s a dragon… and a big one at that. She’s forced to continue on, since the pack is closing in on her, but then the dragon leaves to go fight the wolves. Another car comes from the opposite way, and a man Liz hasn’t seen before is like “You’re Liz right? Your father is Robert, and your mom is Jane, no?” Liz doesn’t want to get into the car with him, but she feels like she has no choice. In there, he introduces himself as Christian, and the driver as Avery; it’s mentioned that the dragon is named Hunter. 

They drive for a really long time, only stopping for gas once. As they drive, Liz starts to feel worse and worse; like her body is on fire. 

When they get to a safe house, Liz tries to bolt. But then Hunter tackles her to the ground, and she passes out. Liz wakes up hours later, and Hunter comes to tell her that she has a fever of 107. He helps her to take an ice bath, but after they’re done, she’s feeling a little better. She finds new clothes in her room. 

Downstairs, the others have made breakfast for her. The boys act like immature toddlers, and end up spraying water everywhere. As they’re cleaning up, and Liz helps with the dishes, she asks them questions about the weredragons. They say that their species is highly endangered, so they keep to themselves. When asked why they can’t come out to the werewolves, they pointedly tell her that the wolves would attack them. 

They also explain to her that the reason why she’s burning up and has a huge appetite is because she’s finally starting to shift. That they’ll remain at this safe house until after her first shift, then they’ll move on to another safe house. Liz obviously wants to train so that she can go back and kick Scarface’s ass. 

They randomly find a stray kitten outside the kitchen door, and Liz wants to keep it. But then she’s overcome with such a huge burst of pain that it’s the only thing she can think about. 

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

some the gilded age 2.03 thoughts because why not!

re: aunt ada and reverend clam chowdah, i caught myself thinking "this is a m/f romance so cute and charming that it could somehow only be portrayed by a queer woman and a queer man" and then i remembered belatedly that RSL isn't (to my knowledge) queer, he was just in love with house for 10 years or whatever and it changed him irrevocably in my mind. anyway: i like this plotline.

every single servant scene is SO in downton mode, it's just hilarious to me. they ain't even trying to make it even remotely different! whoever that butler guy is (sorry, i haven't learned their names) was definitely serving some major mr carson energy by being horrified at the thought of joining a union.

that scene between peggy and her mom was so heartrending and sad; god, the contrast between "you go here and you're no longer a human" and all the dumbass rich people ~opera war~ stuff. also, i am lowkey in love with peggy's editor guy, he's so charming. does he HAVE to have a wife??? because i thought he and peggy were gonna fall in love! but also i don't want his poor wife to die or something! i am both excited and scared to see what's to come here!

BERTHA RUSSELL MY BELOVED CRYING!!! NO!!!!!!! (what a beautifully intense scene tho! and when he touched her arm and she walked away and she was cryingggg againnnn, nooooo!!!!) oh, george, you done messed up. you're supposed to tell her everything! you are PARTNERS! i do like that she's like "get me a duke and we'll talk." they were really keeping the business side of their marriage functioning well throughout that fight. i feel like there's a labor unions/marital union joke to be made about george but i can't find it. george, you're supposed to offset being a capitalist nightmare by being the world's dreamiest husband. chop chop! get ya woman that duke! (also, was that a george/bertha hug i saw in the promo? i hope so!)

i really want a gigantic pink bedroom with a chandelier. i can't get over it.

i really hope there's no infidelity re: the russells and instead it's just them and turner having an absolutely insane throwdown rivalry of pure nonsense. we don't NEED infidelity to make this plot bonkers. dear god, please let jfells have gotten that out of his system with robert & cora. (i'm still mad about robert macking on the god damn maid while cora was dying of spanish flu in the next room, for the record! i'll never let that one go!!!)

lol, oscar wilde was sure oscar wildeing about like mad. i loved how everyone was just like, "wow, this oscar wilde dude wrote a SHITTY play." damn, you guys! have mercy! i had to look it up on wikipedia just to learn more about this particular theatrical flop.

i am pretty sure people complain about marian but i find her really charming and pleasant and delightful. i just wanted to put that out there into the world.

i believe it because of the production values but also i can't believe this show is on hbo.

[gene-forrester]

“I suspect that you were outsmarted. By none other than Mr. Gillies.”

Murdoch Mysteries 

— S02 E07 | Big Murderer on Campus 

[squirrelwrangler]

Hi! I found your tumblr because you reblog Silmarillion stuff. :) I saw some of your posts about WOT, and I was curious about it... Are the books good? Because from what I've read about them so far they sound kind of sexist? This is a genuine question, I'm not trying to start discourse. I just figured i'd ask you because you also like the Silm, so you obviously have good taste :)

Okay, so you're a Tolkien fan so you're used to the sexism discourse in old dead white guy fantasy. Which, unfortunately, Robert Jordan counts as since he died of a rare blood disease less than a decade ago. And hey, I like what I like and won't claim that I don't like some popcorn books/shows and 'trash'. But yes, I love Wheel of Time, its warts and all. And there are large parts of it that I hate or skip or think is weak- in part because it is so so so so very very massive, there's a graphic out there somewhere that compares the word count of WoT as that of A Song of Ice and Fire + Hobbit-LotR-Silmarilion + Harry Potter + a few other series to get to the same number.

Now, WoT is more formative to me than any of Tolkien's work, I am honest and self-aware to admit. Which is sort of funny, because of the irony. See, the first Wheel of Time book was published in 1990. And pretty much if you were writing epic fantasy back then, the publishers wanted authors to recreate LotR in plot and feel. So the publishers forced a more LotR-like tone onto Robert Jordan, whose interest was in world-building and a focus on a Chosen One hero who did NOT want to do this prophecy stuff (I'm also overjoyed that Dune is getting its more faithful big adaptation at the same time that WoT comes out because there are parallels). Which nowadays a reluctant hero doesn't sound all that revolutionary, nor that the books have a GIANT ensemble cast, or a strongly defined hard magic system with clear rules and systems that isn't just a copy of the D&D rulebook, or that there is a HEAVY focus on political scheming - or that the gender divide for characters is closer to equal (the first book has a mostly male skewed pov chapter, but then it starts to even out and most of the later books if tallied up are told from 50/50 or more female POVs). For instance, the Gandalf/Dumbledore figure is a middle-aged bi woman. By Book Three or Four the series can in no way be mistaken as a LotR clone.

Now, the author was a cis white vietnam vet dude and he wasn't perfect at writing female characters and there's dated gender politics - but unlike contemporaries, he was trying to grapple with gender, he made the effort to focus on female characters. Egwene, Elayne, and Nynaeve are almost or as important as Mat, Perrin, and Rand. In-universe almost all the societies are skewed politically to favor women as much -or in most cases more, than men, because in his 'he's confused but he has the right spirit' way, RJ was making a point about patriarchy. The tv show is having to deal with some of the core parts of the worldbuilding that is problematic when it comes to trans - as the magic system has a gender binary. But compared to the fantasy that came before it and its gender issues...laughs.

Are there way too many book fans that seemed to completely misunderstand the series thanks to their own internalized misogyny? Sadly yes. Same fans that also didn't realize that the fantasy world wasn't default white for everyone. (I am so very done with the review bombing of the TV show).

Or hey- I'm also a fan of a lot of shonen manga. Wheel of Time would not put up with how sidelined female characters are in almost all shonen.

The books won't feel like they're aligned with modern sensibilities in part because this is the transitional series. WoT and RJ actually inspired GRRM to write A Song of Ice and Fire and to have that political feuding families work in a fantasy universe. (Seriously, omg, ASoIaF/GoT is to me always will be the poor man's WoT. GRRM's POVs are more distinct from one another and thus technically better writing for most part- but worldbuilding and plot and characters and prophecy and shit, lol, WoT hands down win. Also, while there's a problem with BSDM/bondage kink undertones and such especially as you go on- actual sexual violence is VERY rare in WoT. And again- it sits between LotR and GoT in describing violence and battles. But also the masterclass in foreshadowing and symbolism and meta-story ...eat your heart out, GRRM). There is queer rep but it's mostly alluded, wink-nods, and not for main characters.

There's a lot of fantasy fans on youtube and other places that break down WoT and the issues and strengths/weaknesses, impact, etc...

But, the thing is: I read the first 8 books in a heady rush of enthusiasm when I was fourteen, maybe fifteen years old - and even though each book was clocking in of average about 900 to well over 1000 pages (they are lovingly dubbed The Bricks by the fandom), it took me about twelve days because i. did. not. stop.

I cannot objectively judge this series.

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

Thoughts on Episode 4 of The Book of Boba Fett - "On Thin Fucking Ice"

that is not the episode title but it clearly should be

I obviously hope that last week's episode was an aberration and not representative of the series overall. For patriotic reasons, I would like to keep watching this (I mean Temuera Morrison), and for general Boba Fett-liking reasons, I would like this not to suck. So far, we have had one okay episode, one AWESOME episode, and one truly shit episode. It's not exactly encouraging to see a show run such a gamut in its first three episodes; it suggests poor planning and only erratic insight about why viewers will care to watch. I am hoping that this week will be okay. That's all I'm setting my sights on. Okay. Fingers crossed, eh.

The Disney+ blurb for this episode is just "Boba Fett partners with Fennec Shand," which might mean that we finally get some backstory/context for these two, or might alternatively mean that they will dance a fruity samba, and either is fine by me. We have a runtime of 49 minutes, in between the excellent 53 minutes of Chapter 2 and the okay/bloody awful 39 minutes of 1 and 3. I am not sure who directed this one but I hope it's not Robert bloody Rodriguez again.

* ugh taking us straight back to the worst part of the previous spisode in the "previously on"

* I really wondered if Boba's total lack of affect in the discovery and funeral parts of that sequence was some kind of actor protest by Temuera Morrison, like how when Alexander Siddig hated the genetic enhancement plot twist for Julian Bashir on Deep Space Nine (sorry about the spoilers for 1997), he would try to say any lines relating to it in the dullest way he could. The difference here is that I really liked that plot twist (and it did not do what Siddig feared, making Julian too similar to Data - they are both talkative and clever and neurodivergent in some way but have very different vibes overall) whereas this one sucked and made me feel angry and sad. To go right from an episode that was all about Boba finding a connection and a sense of belonging and purpose with these people after spending so long feeling alone, an episode to which Morrison clearly contributed a lot in terms of culture and the whole issue of indigenous rights and sovereignty which is dear to his heart, to then having it all ripped out from under Boba for cheap tragedy that dehumanised the people the previous episode did so much to humanise, surely was not very satisfying for Morrison as a performer. The man can in fact emote, and here he just didn't. So.

* remind us of the stupid briefing scene too

* Stephen Root: no one respects you

* Me: well to be fair, based on last week's shenanigans I don't either

* ugh the Mods

* ugh Krrsantan (it is not Krrsantan's fault he got put into such a stupid scene, he looks like a cool dude)

* ugh the rancor swap makes no sense, why would they give him something so expensive and fuck off without even getting their cool-looking Wookiee back

* they didn't recap the only cute and awesome part of last week, Boba "Horse Girl" Fett deciding he loves the rancor and it will be his baby

* and now... new material

* TRY NOT TO SUCK, SHOW. I AM SO READY TO BE PLEASED.

* ALREADY into the bath and a flashback? Without even a present-day prologue? Also, are they really going to keep using Boba dreaming about his past in the bacta tank every single time they want to do a flashback? Couldn't he talk to a therapist like Tony Soprano? I feel like this guy naps more than he works. Which I can sympathise with, but he could've done all this napping BEFORE trying to take over Mos Espa and started out feeling fresh.

* It was very green in the desert that day - oh wait that's a transition effect.

* okay, so Boba is apparently spying out Jabba's palace; are we actually going to start getting hints of why he decided to go back there? Is it about gaining the power to avenge the Tuskens, or what? Did his childhood experiences teach him anything about the value or likely success of trying to avenge someone you loved? Does he just think this is different because he's strong enough to do it by himself instead of being a traumatised little kid depending on adults who don't have his welfare at heart?

* "Not today, old girl" - okay, I like the continuing notes of Boba's quiet love of animals, but "not today" what. What is your objective, you potato.

* what do banthas eat? Apparently barbecue is okay. I always wondered, because they do look like ungulates, but you clearly can't graze in a desert. The food chain of Tatooine remains very fucking mysterious. I presume it involves, at some level, animals that literally eat and metabolise sand.

* nobody had better kill his fucking bantha this week

* okay, I briefly skipped to the end credits and the director this week was Kevin Tancharoen, of whom I know zip, nothing, nada. Back to five minutes in.

* it is too dark in this scene for me to have any blessed idea what is going on, and I would prefer unconvincing day-for-night to realistic can't-see-a-thing.

* So this is where he finds Fennec near death - which raises some questions for me about the passage of time. He fell into the Sarlacc's maw in 4ABY, and was presumably not in there for more than a few hours, by the state of him. The events of The Mandalorian begin in roughly 9ABY. How long did he live with the Tuskens before the cheap shitty tragedy? Clearly a while, since he learned their language, but nearly five years? How long did he wander around in between the cheap shitty tragedy and finding Fennec where Din left her in around about 9 ABY? You give a guy five years to noodle around in before he has to get back into the plot, and then you don't let him really noodle.

* there are people here with cool cyberpunk eyes - okay, so the whole cyborg body mods thing was a trend on Tatooine well before Boba met the Mods? What does it mean? Anything?

* "I found a gravely wounded woman barely clinging to life in the desert... so I brought her to a nightclub." At least that's what it sounds like.

* So wait, did Boba know that this was a place where people got cyborged up? How did he learn about that? Has he had any sort of social life in between the cheap shitty tragedy and this? Who has he talked to? Why did we skip over so much?

* Anyway I guess this is where Fennec's techno-tummy comes in.

* there were absolutely no emergency healthcare options other than this place? god Tatooine sucks

* and apparently Fennec doesn't need any anaesthetic or life support

* this just... this doesn't make sense

* I never cared that much about how the techno-tummy works, but this was just stupid-looking. There was no sign that this guy did anything about the blood loss she'd already suffered, no sign that there was any hygiene involved, working on Fennec's body this way would make sense only if she was already a cyborg or robot that just needed parts replaced.

* btw where did Boba get the money for this, what has he been doing to earn money? What have been his goals and uses for the money he earned? that seems interesting

* Like the way the Tuskens were so brutally disposed of, this rather feels like "We have to give some kind of explanation for how this character got their new accessories, let's bash it out real quick."

* "Aren't you going to close her up?" "And cover all that beautiful machinery?" SO EVIDENTLY INFECTION IS NOT A THING. PERITONITIS IS NOT A THING.

* what did the guy do with all the damaged innards he would have had to remove?

* so the poor cow wakes up on the sand in the middle of nowhere with some dude offering her a melon; I wouldn't be impressed.

* so... Boba went through her pockets and looked at her ID?

* so here's where the narration from the trailer came from

* One thing that I do find a little strange about Morrison's performance is the really different inflection he gives his voice when he says things like "I am Boba Fett, left for dead on the sands of Tatooine," kind of ponderous and artificial, and when he says things like "He's a tricky little bugger" and "What are we going to call you?" - when he actually sounds like a person. I can justify this as there being an element of Boba putting on a performance, which I think he always has been doing since he put on the helmet and started creating the character of Boba Fett the Bounty Hunter, who is clearly different from Boba Fett who just wants to pet a dog. Perhaps what he's giving Fennec here is a modified, helmetless form of that.

* Okay, Fennec introducing the possibility that at least some of the Tuskens escaped. I HOPE SO. It really didn't look as if there were as many bodies strewn about the destroyed camp as there were dancers in the bonfire scene at the end of episode 2. Fingers still crossed for Tusken Warrior and Tusken Kid.

* Right, and this settles the fact that, at least in this iteration of Star Wars canon, Boba calls his ship Firespray. I will gladly accept it as Boba changing the name of the ship when it became his; Slave One is really a bummer of a name.

* your ship is still where you parked it? are you sure?

* Boba. Baby, the worst he can say is "no, fuck off."

* I know this is turning into kind of a heist, and I've been vocal in my desire for heists, but it's not a very feisty heist.

* Fennec has a tiny baby drone! Okay, tiny baby drone is cute. I really like how it zips around.

* you're just gonna turn your bantha loose? Isn't she, like, domesticated? don't just tell her to go and get pregnant! she loves you!

* Fennec speaks for me, and for people with any common sense. Maybe hold onto your alternative means of transport just for now.

* How do you figure Bib double-crossed you, though? He kept your ship when he entirely reasonably believed you were dead. You haven't approached him to let him know you're alive because... you're afraid of what he might say? You think you're negotiating from a disadvantage? You can't even write the dude a letter to sound him out? Don't be a sook.

* tiny baby drone's back!

* so all you need to do is break into the garage and steal Fett's Vette, right?

* incidentally if Bib Fortuna kept security so tight, how were you able, not many months after this, to just walk right directly into his throne room so that he was surprised (and apparently pleased, until you shot him) to see you? And what did he think had happened to your ship in the meantime?

* it's almost lost because the lighting/colouring is so damn murky, but Fennec gives Boba an adorable smug smile about cutting through the bars to sneak in, and it immediately makes me like her more.

* "Voice of Sous-Chef Droid" would be a great credit to have on your IMDB page.

* General Grievous with cleavers - until Fennec takes his head off. I actually thought she was just going to push an off switch, which I would love even more.

* low comedy as Boba has to destroy the kitchen trying to tackle some little guy

* "Where'd you go?" - again, Boba sounds like a person when he's not sounding ponderous

* why are you telling the little droid who you are? why do you care? do you make this speech to everyone you meet?

* did that droid just do suicide

* I want - GONK DROID

* I want Boba getting back into his starship to be more of a moment, you know?

* sorry green piggy guard guy, you were certainy not paid enough for that

* of course she knows what she's doing, she's Fennec Shand

* She's in good shape - in fact, shipshape.

* and now, they are pals

* okay, so, bikies, zapping bikies

* that feel like vengeance?

* what are you going to do, shoot the sarlacc?

* are you literally going to shoot the sarlacc

* "that's where I was trapped all those years ago" - how have the years between then and now been occupied? because we really haven't seen enough!

* okay, Boba doesn't realise his armour was scavenged/salvaged

* what are you going to do, climb down in there with a rope and a torch?

* of course you can't see a thing! you're looking down an animal's throat underground! you don't even know how long its body is or how far along its gut peristalsis might have moved your armour by this time!

* that's right I said peristalsis

* I know a thing or two about guts

* not three things though, I top out at two

* this is simply silly, silly behaviour

* how is a ship that can blast off out of the atmosphere not grunty enough to escape the grip of an admittedly very large worm

* okay that was a fun sound effect, it always is

* okay, you know Fennec considers Boba her best friend now, or there's no fucking way she'd be hanging around to perform some kind of half-assed autopsy on a worm.

* okay

* okay sorry

* I know I'm starting with "okay" a lot

* but how screamingly absurd is it that Boba Fett is criticising crime lords for not taking the time to think

(and what happened to him is not because a crime lord didn't take the time to think, it's because Han Solo has the luck of the devil and also he, Boba Fett, is kind of a doofus)

* Boba "I didn't think to ask for a briefing on my new territory until like three days after I took it over" Fett

* Boba "I assumed everyone would just pay me tribute" Fett

* Boba "What's recruitment? I just hire disaffected youths I meet on the street" Fett

* Boba "I just sort of bounce around like a dumb pinball reacting to whatever people say" Fett

* Boba "I am surprised every time someone does something sneaky" Fett

* are you genuinely now trying to sell us on the idea that Boba Fett is a man with a plan

* that he's meant to be smart, smarter than the wiseguys

* Dunning-Kruger effect in action folks, except the show has Dunning-Kruger

* has anyone ever in the history of Tatooine before suggested that Tusken culture is soft

* was that literal entire episode a bacta tank flashback - oh okay, we have about a quarter of an hour still to go.

* how did he just walk in without encountering any guards that time, I ask you again

* he is completely healed? How long will that last, one wonders. He gets beaten up a lot.

* oh they're actually in canon called the Mods for goodness' sake, the silly nickname I made up for them is canon

* if Boba is completely healed (at least until his next ass-kicking) is he going to start sleeping in a big-boy bed now?

* Okay, at this point going to the pub is a reasonable decision.

* Krrsantan is not enjoying his evening. Perhaps Krrsantan should go to a movie or something instead.

* I'm complaining a lot, but Boba looks really handsome and I enjoy looking at him looking handsome.

* Garsa is gesturing a lot. Like, almost mind trick levels of gesturing.

* Okay, so I guess Krrsantan still has a bar tab.

* MAX REBO EVERYONE

* Boba, sweetie, darling, last week he (apparently) crushed your spine and bit your hand. He clearly has tremendous anger management issues. Do you really want to call him "mate" and offer him a job? Why not ask Garsa to help you, given that she is actually intelligent and knows people and also already technically works for you as your vassal?

* "when Fortuna claimed to be the heir" - "no right to the throne" - anyone remember Rotta? Jabba's little punky muffin? the actual legitimate heir?

* the idea that Boba got past "guile and treachery" to take out Bib Fortuna is just... absurd. They're having to retcon what was only written as a brief post-credits stinger in which Boba walked right in unchallenged, Bib simply appeared surprised and pleased to see him, and Boba shot him at point-blank range while his guard was down! That or Fennec is just bullshitting because it's the only way to sell this pup.

* "draining Tatooine of its wealth" - what wealth, when the most valuable commodity on the planet is water and the spice is imported? (It's a bit like how, although you can make meth pretty much anywhere with very basic kitchen/lab equipment, the cost and risk of importing the precursor chemicals to New Zealand is such that it's cheaper to just import meth ready-made these days.) Like, we know there are mines on Tatooine, Mos Pelgo is near one, but what they mine is unclear. (I'm ignoring here whether there's EU material that specifies what you mine on Tatooine, because none of that counts until we hear and see it on screen.)

* The rancor is under the table - and either that's a different droid of the same make and model, or that wasn't a suicide earlier.

* Don't just call the rancor "boy"! I demand that you give the baby a cute name!

* Okay, Matt Berry Droid is interpreting, so Matt Berry Droid is a protocol droid, right?

* Why should they join you? You're the only person the Pykes want to attack. They all probably have deals with the Pykes.

* "then I'll do it alone," he said, like a big, brave, dumb, stupid idiot.

* "just pwease don't betway me!"

* BOBA YOU SUCK AT NEGOTIATING SO BAD

* again and again I keep waiting for a twist that shows you're playing dumb... but you're not playing, are you?

* are we really supposed to think Boba pulled something off here

* all he did was get a bunch of dirtbags to make a promise I am sure they feel no obligation at all to keep

* "my deal is a lot better" - what deal?

* "what I'm short on is muscle" - which I don't understand why you didn't begin recruiting much earlier on, and no, the Mods don't count!

* and Fennec... introduces to him the idea that you can, like, hire guys to fight for you? Why was that even written as an exchange between these two characters in particular? "Credits can buy muscle if you know where to look" - "bitch I know, I was muscle for like 25 years." Why would they need to say this to each other. Why. This is "As you know, your father - the king..." levels of cruddy exposition.

* Well. Okay, well. I got my wish. That episode was at the low end of the range I would call "okay." It was pretty dumb throughout but it wasn't actively offensive or distressing. I did not have to look at stupid space Vespas. Ming-Na Wen made a cute face and Temuera Morrison looked hot.

* It still felt like a half-hearted exercise in filling in gaps, moving from one already established point to another as quickly as possible, rather than anyone actually being excited to show us what Boba Fett got up to in his wilderness years (other than in episode 2 which shone precisely because it felt interested in what was going on).

* The thing is, with this show, they got the opportunity to do what fanfic writers do, but with the real actors and budget and facilities. I mean that as 100% a good thing. To flesh out an enigmatic character, to develop an interesting story that was going on in a backwater while the eyes of the galaxy were understandably turned elsewhere, so they have lots of freedom to improvise. What do they actually want to do? I get what Temuera Morrison wants to do and I'm cheering for him, but what John Favreau and Dave Filoni want to do with this is really not clear to me.

[alittlebitofinsanitea]

Head-Cannons for Jealous Kageyama, Suga, Iwaizumi, & Bokuto

request: hi! May I request hc's of iwazumi, bokuto, mattsun, suga, and kageyama on how they act when they're jealous? I couldn't find a character limit in your rules so feel free to do however many you like :) Have a good one lovely human <3

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

Hi honey! So I didn’t write it but I'm going to be doing four per head-cannon! thank you for requesting! <3 These are gender neutral/no pronouns so I hope that’s ok, hope you enjoy! Also to everyone, requests are open!

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

~Kageyama~

✰ you’ve been in class all day and finally the bell rings and its lunch

✰ you and a friend are sitting, talking about homework, eating, as one does during lunch. You normally sit with him because kags always plays volleyball during break, surprised? no.

✰ all sweet Kags wanted to do this lunch was to sit with his baby!!!

✰ he sees you sitting real close to this other guy, and what does his awkward ass do? FUCKING STARES AT YOU, clown to clown communication going on right here

✰ anyone coming into the cafeteria just sees him blocking the path with the smoke whirling around his head

✰ you finally turn around after feeling two burning holes in the back of your head and see him glancing between you and your friend

✰ dummy realizes you noticed him and turns bright red in embarrassment after noticing he has been staring at you for at least half the lunch period and he sprints

✰ this man ZOOOOOMS out of that room

✰ you, being the caring s/o you are, run after him to the best of your abilities, all the way to the vending machine

✰ by the time you get there, he’s already sipping on two milks, pouting, and bright red, poor thing

✰ you make eye contact with him as you sit down, him turning away to face a wall instead

✰ you poke his stomach and sides to get his attention, fully aware of how ticklish he is there

✰ “Y/N PLEASE!” he grits out in between fits of laughter

✰  “Why did you run out then?” you say as you cease your attack, snaking your arms around his waist

✰ his body relaxes into yours and returns the hug, he buries his face into the top of your head as he mumbles

✰ “I know you know I can't hear you,” 

✰ he grunts back in response and mumbles again, just loud enough that you can hear that one, specific, word

✰ “YOU WERE JEALOUS!!!!!!” you scream so loud he jumps back a little

✰ he burrows his head into your neck in an attempt to hide from you, not the best play he could have made, but there was an attempt, he tried

✰ you move one hand to pat his head and the other stays on his back, “Kags, I don’t know why you would be jealous, I’m just friends with (Friends/N), I don’t like him like that, ok?”

✰ he straightens up and looks at you dead in the eyes, to anyone else he looks normal, but there's a little smile on his face that looks a little less creepier than usual

✰ he grabs you tight and you can hear the bell in the background, but you both ignore it and stay like that for a little longer

~Suga~

✰ everyone pretends that this man is the chillest, sweetest, calmest character in this show

✰ hell no

✰ he has as much crackhead energy radiating through his body as is possible without being a crackhead

✰ the two of you are at one of karasuno's practice matches against nekoma, and they have been trying that play with nishinoya as setter, and a few other ideas the coach came up with

✰ during a break between on of the games (which to your displeasure, have gone on forever, but you love seeing Suga play so you don't really mind) you decide to pull out your chemistry homework

✰ “why, and who made chemistry,” you say to yourself “I just want to have a little talk.”

✰ “Well I wouldn’t say a specific person invented it, but Robert Boyle is considered the first modern chemist,” you look to your left and see a tall nekoma player with bed hair

✰ you arch a brow, and get back to ‘working’, if you could call it that

✰ he sits next to you and offers a smirk and says, “Im Kuroo Tetsuro, if you want I can help with your homework if you want,”

✰ your nose scrunches up and you turn away from him

✰ “Don’t be sodium chloride,” he says as he scoots a little closer, but as he does that, you can feel the other side of you warm a little

✰ in the corner of your eye before you look to see what sat next to you, you see Suga, his eyes glaring straight at the rooster boy

✰ he drapes his arms on your shoulders and sets his head on yours and looks directly as kuroo, cold as ice, he tells him “She is fine, I can help her,” 

✰ the smile on his face does nothing to hide the fact that he’s not messing around 

✰ you pull him off of you to face him, giving him a little shove before telling him off,

✰ “I had it covered, it’s not like I was going to say yes, even though I probably need the help…”

✰ he raises his eyebrows at you, “I can help you, no problem!” he says sweetly, as if you both aren’t getting the same grades

✰ the next game is starting, signaled by the freak already on the court in their positions and the whistle blowing you give Suga a kiss on the cheek and tell him to go

✰ he smirks at you, and from then on in the match, whenever he spiked a ball, set a good toss, or dug anything, he looked to kuroo and directly pointed to where you sat

~Hajime Iwaizumi, (27), Athletic trainer~

✰ I don't even know what to do for this dude, no wait haha jk

✰ Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and you have been best friends for forever

✰ you guys are so close, sleepovers since you were little, you even made them an entire meal and movie night on the day they lost, lots of wet tissues and tear soaked blankets

✰ when you and Iwaizumi finally got together after year of pining after each other, nobody was more excited than Oikawa, nobody 

✰ now, you three are having a sleepover to celebrate being done with midterms and you made a big pillow fort to watch your favorite movie in, with popcorn and chocolate and all of that

 ✰ it's dark except for the light from computer screen, you can barely make out the faces to your right and left, and it's so late, you forgot who was on which side

✰ it's hard for you to fall asleep without Iwa anymore, so you grab the arm to your left and lift it up and snuggle into the warmth of who you thought was your boyfriend

✰ because you all are so close, Oikawa didn’t think twice about wrapping his arms around you, forgetting that Iwa was even there

✰ your boyfriend started to get red in the face, “Oikawa,” he warned, trying to make his best friend back off without making a scene

✰ Oikawa looks to him confused, “Chill out Iwa-chan! I know it's not godzilla but it's not that bad”

✰ Iwaizumi would have left it at that, but when you turned around and hooked your leg onto your current human pillow? Ohohoho, its over

✰ he grabs your waist and throws you over his shoulder, wrecking the little tent you made and leaving the third wheel of the trio in the rubble

✰ you cry out in protest, upset that your hours of work are now suffocating your other best friend

✰ you feel every step and he takes as he walks you both towards your room the air is tense, and you don’t know what to do

✰ you enter your bedroom, still being carried by him, and he drops you on the bed, and falls on top of you, letting out a noise of comfort as you squirm

✰ “Hajime please get of you’re squishing meee!” you wheeze out the last part

✰ he doesn’t verbally acknowledge you but he adjusts himself so you both are comfortable

✰ “Is this ok?” he asks quietly

✰ “yeah,” you reply, “It is.” 

✰ Neither of you seem to notice oikawa taking photos, and the next day, oikawa shows iwa, but not without a volleyball to the head 

✰ neither you nor oikawa know that's his screen on his phone

~Bokuto~

✰ When does this boy not get jealous, not because of you no! He trusts you with anything and everything, and he loves showing you off

✰ that is until all the attention goes to you and he thinks everyone is going to take you away, especially when he goes emo mode, he’s about ready to give you up to anyone :( but you never go obviously

✰ akaashi managed to convince you to become manager, he said that it would come in handy when he started to become self destructive

✰ and it worked! You were able to save a lot of games and akaashi’s mental health, for a while that is

✰ today was the first day of spring high finals, teams everywhere, balls flying, and Bokuto was anxious, and it was showing

✰ as the team walks to the court, you grab Bokuto's hand and you grab it tight letting him know you are there for him

✰ he began to feel less tense and calmed down once again 

✰ the game started and it was going smoothly, the other team wasn't able to shut down any Fukurōdani’s attacks

✰ that is until, the other team's captain started flirting with you

✰ whenever he makes a point, he would say some gross ass pick up line, or wink at you, and even worse, he would make sure to meet eyes with Bokuto, every, single, time

✰ Bokuto’s shots have gotten worse, he's hitting into the blockers, the net, and even missing the ball completely

✰ it physically hurts you when this happens to your boyfriend, and at this point you are sick of it, and have started to grow annoyed at the creepily corny capitan 

✰ you whisper to the coach to call Bokuto in who is currently hanging onto akaashi, asking him not to set to him anymore

✰ the coach calls a time out, and signals the rest of the team to stay on the court, Bokuto doesn’t even notice the rest of his teammates standing still around him

✰ when he reaches the bench you grab him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes and say “Baby, kick his ass.”

✰ you move your head to face the other captain and smile, then you grab Bokuto's face and kiss him, hard

✰ the time out ends and your team is flushed with embarrassment, but Bokuto was hyped up jumping all over the court, and ready to destroy the other team

✰ (they won the rest of the set no points lost)