#poo barbecue

[skyerai-slovakia]

💀

Yeah.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

The kookery of Meghans cookery show: a pictorial essay by u/Mickleborough

The kookery of Meghan’s cookery show: a pictorial essay Being really excited (just kidding) about Meghan’s mooted cooking program with Netflix (maybe she’ll feature some fabulous Southern food, like chicken legs and grift, I mean grits!), I try to find out more about it.https://ift.tt/lXqSbmn on the Vaseline, Meghan! ‘I’d like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back?’ ‘How do you feel about Cleveland?’After some lackadaisical googling, I come across a gushy article in Elle, which answers what questions it can (not much). Note the date: 11 April 2024 - a little over 2 months ago.https://preview.redd.it/lohrcc1dcl6d1.png?width=1515&format=png&auto=webp&s=b3469e9a46759fc2e53c832c3404e2f9162bf00cThere’s no much info (I may make fun of the piece in another post), but there was something for the nerdy: the people behind it:https://ift.tt/GMzgj5C too much time on my hands (not true: need to do the dishes), I google some more and discover:The Intellectual Property Corporation, which is producing it, DOES NOT MENTION the show: The IP Corp websiteLeah Hariton, supposed showrunner’s upcoming and last projects on IMDB, DOES NOT MENTION the show:https://ift.tt/0PBRqkN Holzman, supposed executive producer, upcoming and 2024 projects, IMDB, DOES NOT - you get the grift, I mean drift:https://ift.tt/f1hKJYp Saidman, supposed executive producer, upcoming and 2024 projects, IMDB (looks the same as Holzman’s as I think both are at The Intellectual Property Corporation), ditto:https://preview.redd.it/ezjew8ggel6d1.png?width=1640&format=png&auto=webp&s=2af5f35005c621a3c0cc0b55a7ce7c90452c1ddcThere’s no reference to anything that might remotely pass for Meghan’s cookery-poo. (NB It’s not Power of the Dream, as that dream has no power.)Perhaps someone better-versed in TV production can shed some light, eg a project would be listed only if it were in the process of being made. But we were told in April 2024 that filming was under way, at someone else’s home: Daily Mail archived / unarchivedDoes that mean that this audition video’s been all a waste? (It’s part-time vegan Meghan showing us how to barbecue burgers, as well as eating it sexily. It’s very instructive - even shows you how to display fleisch whilst grilling same.) post link: https://ift.tt/BxDEy3k author: Mickleborough submitted: June 14, 2024 at 10:14PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

What is it?

Well, since your done... you mind showing me there commandments?

Well... okay but I'm just going to say that you'll be very confused of what they written here...

*Sunako clicks a button and it presents the commandments*

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Children's Paradise Preamble We won't try to fool you with fancy words or say something you don't understand. Let's just be happy as kids. That's it. The Demons aren't needed because they're selfish and treat children like they own us, like we're just things to them. They think we do not have feelings. They lack imagination.

We don't need them, so we're going to kill them. The paradise we build will be awesome. No parents. No chores. No school. No homework. There will be a few rules, but that's it. Respect one another. Be so good that you will become a role model for others. When you feel that you are becoming a Demon, kill yourself. Follow the rules and help build a paradise of only children.

Children's Paradise Commandments 1

Sleep lots, eat lots, play lots.

Anything that makes you look like a Demon, like drinking and smoking, is illegal.

Any items with a picture of a Demon on them are illegal.

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: "Gargle coffee for 20 hours straight."

Children's Paradise Commandments 2

Wash hands before a meal.

Play video games no longer than 8 hours daily.

If you ever feel like you are showing signs of reincarnating into a Demon, take responsibility and end your own life.

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: "Hold in their poo all day after a big barbecue."

Children's Paradise Commandments 3

If you have something on your mind, share it with the children around you.

Don't get involved in other people's business, like making fun of them for reading manga.

Don't ever try to remember what life was like with the Demons.

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: "Stuffed under the kotatsu in summer."

Children's Paradise Commandments 4

Inscribe on your hearts the fact that the "now" is the most precious thing we have.

Do not kill pets with "adorbs" faces.

Do not lose hope.

Anyone who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: "Hide your Video Games Somewhere You'll Never Find Them."

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What...? That is, um...well...

They... can't be serious about all this, right?

Well you be surprise what a bunch of kids who hate their parents that were heavily influence by Junko Enoshima would think what a 'children's paradise' is like but reading all this; they had no idea what they are doing from the sounds of it.

Which makes me question if any of them plan this through at all.

[whitepolaris]

Hogzilla-or Hoaxzilla

A unique legend was born in 2004 when Hogzilla hit the scene. This story of this awesomely huge hog is rife with rumor, speculation, and, of course, the pithy remarks of Georgia's homegrown characters. Did this twelve-foot-long, half-ton pig with nine-inch tusks really exist? Heated arguments run both ways.

The tale originated at the River Oak Plantation, a preserve in southwestern Georgia where wild pigs are hunted. One day, owner Ken Holyoak repeatedly saw an enormous hog running around the preserve. He alerted Chris Griffin, a hunting guide, and told him that if he ever saw the porker, he should shoot it. In June, Griffin got the big pig in his sights and killed it in a single bullet to its no-doubt enlarged heart. Why did they kill it? According to Holyoak, they didn't want to take a chance of it getting away and another hunter taking down this record-breaking swine and getting all the praise.

Using a backhoe, Griffin and Holyoak excavated a giant grave on the property, then tied a rope around the critter's back legs and used the machine to hoist the carcass off the ground. They photographed Griffin standing alongside his trophy before burying it beneath a shady oak and respectfully marking its grave with a large white cross.

Copies of the photograph soon began circulating around the nearby town of Alapaha, population 682, in Clinch County. Next the AP, local and national newspapers CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and many other outlets picked up the story. Someone also posted the photo to the Internet, prompting a flurry of traffic and commentary:

"A piñata! Who's got a stick?" -Turtleknee "Man, talk about 'bringing home the bacon.'" -mike2k1

No doubt about it: Hogzilla was getting itse fifteen minutes of fame!

This tale of the master porker revived Alapaha's spirits, given that the town's only previous claim to weirdness had been a crippled Bigfoot spotted limping across the road several decades earlier. The town, which holds a festival every year with themes like God Bless America and Salute Our Firemen, honored the big pig by christening the November 2004 celebration the Legend of Hogzilla. The festival came complete with Hogzilla T-shirts, floats, barbecue, sausage, and a hog-calling contest. (Thankfully, good taste prevented them from crowning a Hogzilla Queen.) Holyoak, invited to ride on the float, said, "If I'd have known all this, I'd have had him stuffed and put on roller skates." The festivities were so grand that they threatened to eclipse another famous Georgia festival, the Big Pig Jig, an annual barbecue cookout held farther north, up I-75, in Vienna.

Despite all the hoopla, however, skeptical folks started to weigh in. Why hadn't Griffin and Holyoak stuffed the hog, mounted its hundred-pound head, or thrown one hell of a barbecue? In their defense, the two men said they believed the meat from this overgrown hog would have been inedible, and slaughtering it would have been too monumental a task. Also, the animal was too big for conventional mounting; according to Holyoak, it would have taken someone with experience in mounting elephants. He also said that the head, which was about the same diameter as a tire from a compact car, was too big to mount on a wall. One Internet pundit complained, "Seems like he would have at least kept the tusks." Another wrote, "Now don't get me wrong, I love pork, especially wild pork. However, this story and how they buried it quickly smells like pig poo!"

Suspicious though it may seem, this was not the Holyoak family's first brush with bizarre-beast notoriety. Decades earlier, Ken's father, J. H., was out driving his pickup inspecting his cattle when he spotted a large, motley-looking feline pursuing a calf. The thing looked mostly like a panther, he said, but it had a long flowing mane like a lion. When Holyoak peppered the bizarre beast with a round of bird shot, the "panlion" skittered away into a wooded swamp and was never seen again.

Given the Holyoaks' penchant for spotting strange creatures, what are we to make of Hogzilla? Is it an elaborate hoax-or the real McCoy? Perhaps no one said it better than another Internet wit who saw Hogzilla's photo: "God Bless Georgia and the freaks she frees upon the world."

[demonicbaby666]

yesterday i was so gassy and my tummy hurt, i need to toot and poo but my poo wasn't coming out it was just fart after fart

so i went downstairs and found the tongs we use for barbecues and i shoved them up my bum to pull the poo out of my body

Oh ummmm, did you make sure to heavily disinfect them babe? Next family barbecue gonna be real awks…

Also a little life hack, a cheeky fingy up the fanny can lodge out the caca if you push at the right angle.

[live-laugh-lenney]

The One Where YN Meets Will.

Hello, hi!

I’m Emily, I’ve had this blog for a few months now and I’m not sure what I want to do with it, apart from reblog gifs of Will and catch up on all things Youtube and the Eboys and the Sidemen and all that. Thought about giving writing a go, since I’ve done some before on another blog for another fandom, and this came from my brain as an attempt at writing for WillNE.

I am willing to take requests or write anything that anyone wants me to write about, if anyone would like one written for a specific idea.

Hope you like it. x

A consistent buzz came beside her.

Rumbling on top of her bedside table, her phone laid overturned and ringing with an incoming call from someone, charging on the thick Stephen King book that she was halfway through reading, ripples rolling over the surface of the water in the tall glass placed next to it, that she took to bed with her the previous night. She glanced at the salt lamp, small and jagged-looking and emitting a dull orange glow behind the sunlight that streamed through her windows, and gave herself a tut for leaving it on overnight; she couldn’t remember leaving it on although she couldn’t help but give a mental clap at how truthful the benefits of having a Himilayan salt lamp had been.

‘MUM’

The three letter word flashed at her in bold text, above a candid photo that someone had taken of her and her mum in a heart-to-heart chat in the middle of a family barbecue that had taken a turn once her father had found the alcohol stash in the garage and turned a casual family get-together into a night where everyone stumbled over the front doorstep on their way out. A heart-to-heart conversation that had them both smiling brightly at one another.

��Mum, hi.”

“Hi, darling.” Her voice sounded so soft, so sweet, inviting and warm and YN missed her more than anything; if she had anything to say about moving miles away, she would always give the advice of making sure distance was something you could handle. “You sound tired, did I wake you? I thought you’d be on your way to work by now.”

YN looked at the red numbers on the screen of her alarm clock, reading 7:45, and she had a tiny freak-out for a brief moment before she came to the realisation that it was her day off and she wasn’t due into work until after the weekend had finished.

“You did, yeah. I’m not due at work today though. They gave me the day off since my boss’ schedule is just meetings out of town today. He’s up North for conferences and such and it was late notice for me so he didn’t mind me not accompanying him. I wouldn’t have been able to do much anyway,” YN clarified and she used her free hand to push herself up from the mattress. Her hair was knotted and pillow-messed, sticking up in all directions and falling loose from the ponytail she’d thrown it up in before she fell asleep. Her t-shirt twisted around her middle which she adjusted with her fingers, bringing her knees to her chest and staring out the window as the sun continued its rise in the horizon. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t fuss about me,” she heard her mother tut from down the line. But YN couldn’t help but fuss over the two of them; if she lived closer to them, she wouldn’t worry so much because they’d be just a short distance away if they needed her help. But she didn’t live close and she hadn’t done for almost two years; she lived almost 300 miles northeast of where she used to live with her parents and it wouldn’t take her more than twenty minutes to tend to their needs. “We’re both fine, stop worrying yourself, darling. Your dad’s been back doing his gardening so he’s out there already. Watering his flowers, spraying fertiliser, cleaning all the fox poo up. He’s been growing some veggies in the plot next to the greenhouse so you can take some back when you next come to visit.”

YN smiled to herself, bringing her shoulders to her jawline before dropping them and relaxing against her headboard. The back of her head resting against the plush velvet, coloured a clean white, and her toes curled into the sheet beneath her, her fist clutching the duvet as she brought it tighter to her body.

“You can always send me some in a box? Or you could come and visit and drop them off yourself? You know I’ve got the spare room in the new place if you want to come up for a weekend. It’s vacant, just full of my empty moving boxes and bags that I haven’t gotten rid of yet,” YN said, a yawn creeping up her throat that she hid with the palm of her hand, “I need dad’s handyman work to come and help put some shelves up. You’ve not seen it yet.”

“Your dad said it’s a lovely flat. Lovely view. Lovely building. But, you know what he’s like when it comes to describing things. Everything’s lovely,” her mother snorted and YN laughed softly; her father had always been vague and she’s pretty sure that she’d never heard him use any other word to describe something other than ‘lovely’. “We’ve been talking about paying you a visit.”

“Please do. It’s a little lonely here by myself. I’m yet to meet new friends or have a chat with the neighbours. Everyone’s either back in Cornwall or back in Hackney and both are a hefty distance away.”

YN had never considered herself as an introvert so to call herself lonely felt strange.

She was always the friend who asked for the bill, she was the friend who made the complaint in a restaurant when a plate of food came back wrong, she was the friend who made advances on blokes in pubs and clubs because her friends were too shy to go and introduce themselves and she was the friend who always carried the responsibility of making polite conversation with people in pubs when they needed a table to perch themselves at. She was that friend. So making friends with strangers and starting conversations with her co-workers and approaching others who she found had kind features was never something she struggled with.

Moving to a new place and having to make new relationships and form new bonds, regardless of how far it was from the bonds and relationships you already had, she found it daunting to start fresh.  

“What are you doing today?”

“I’m not sure. The weather is really nice and it looks warm out so I might go and explore Canary Wharf and see what’s around. I need to do some shopping, food and furniture, so I might do some of that,” YN rolled onto her side and let her cheek rest against the cold side of her mattress, the backs of her thighs exposed to the cool air of her bedroom as her t-shirt rose up her body; and she made a mental note to buy herself so proper pyjamas because knickers and an oversized t-shirt could cause more problems than expected. “We’ve got a lovely grass area outside the block of flats so I might sit out there, soak up the sunshine, read a book and eat some lunch. I don’t know. Might see how the day goes, I have a good feeling about it.”

“Go exploring. You can find some places to show us when we come to visit,” and YN smiled.

“I’ll do that. You’ll love it mum. This place is amazing. I feel so lucky to have been given something as beautiful as this. I had a crack den for my first flat so this feels like a dream,” she stared at her ceiling. There was no yellow tint from how the previous tenants smoked inside and there were no unusually coloured stains on the ceiling’s coving that caught the eye because of how a stain of that colour shouldn’t have been there, leaving the mystery of just how it got there… and YN didn’t need that kind of stress over something like that. “It doesn’t smell like pee, there’s no syringes outside and there’s no sign of vomit or shit stains on the floor because it’s all laminate.”

“You deserve it, darling. You really do.”

“It’s clean, mum. It came clean, it smells clean, it looks clean. Everything looks brand new and,” YN pauses for a moment, rolling onto her stomach and she sighs with content, “I love it.”

*

After hanging up, she contemplated getting up and getting dressed for the day.

It felt rather tempting to stay in her comfortable loungewear and enjoy the silence, the time to herself and the time off she had been after for so long, taking advantage of Deliveroo and ordering food for breakfast, lunch and dinner rather than cooking something homemade and having the leftovers the next day (or for when she woke up in the early hours with a hankering for something to nibble on, because she could, because she didn’t have an authority figure to tell her no).

By the time her phone call ended with her mother, it was a little over forty-five minutes later and her alarm clock showed a time that she didn’t want to see on her day off; 8:35am. She expected another hour or two added on to her usual sleep schedule, to make a difference to the usual 6am alarm call that had her detesting her job just a tiny bit, but it wasn’t frowned upon because she’d take any given opportunity to speak to her mother. The one person she called her best friend because she really was the only person, apart from her father, that she’d drop anything and everything important for. Her sleep didn’t matter when she got to her the voice of someone she missed so dearly.

Porridge and fruit, a colourful array of strawberries and blueberries and bananas and cranberries in her bowl, and a warm cup of tea had been her breakfast as she caught up with the lifestyle Youtube channel she had been in the loop with. A Youtube channel that she had been a big fan of from the moment she moved to London, one who she turned to in times of need, one that she stumbled across when googling aesthetically pleasing ways to decorate a flat because she really needed to do something about how her Hackney flat had looked before a lick of paint and a hanging plant, one that she continued to view and like and followed tips from, even when it came to her new flat.

“Don’t be afraid to like monochrome and definitely don’t be afraid to follow a colour scheme that might seem ‘out there’ and in your face. If you like lime green then go paint a portion of your wall that colour. If you like the brightest shade of pink then go mad and add some colour to your life. You can never feel more organised than when your surroundings follow a consistent pattern that brings immense amounts of joy when you enter.”

The young girl on her screen, with space-buns either side of her head and an outfit that definitely came from a trendy thrift store clothes rail, sat before a wall of a delicious shade of peach that YN thought looked lovely; not for herself, because she’d stuck with the whites and the greys and the blacks that her flat already consisted of, but perfect for the young twenty-something year old.

“There are loads of websites where you can buy hanging plants, or artificial hanging baskets, and hanging canvas prints and wall art. I’m always looking for new things to buy so I’ll link some of my favourite online stores for you to check out; hit my Instagram mentions up with photos of things you’ve brought, too. That’s what I love to see.”

YN’s spoon clinked against the ceramic bowl in front of her as she pushed it away from her, reaching for her television remote and turning off her Youtube app, her television turning off completely and leaving a black screen behind. The flat falling silent. She looked around her, drumming her fingers against the tabletop, eyes squinting as the sunlight streamed through the wall-to-ceiling windows and made everything feel bright..

As much as she warmed to the idea of staying inside and ordering furniture and decor for her home, scrolling through online stores to buy something she thought she needed but really didn’t need, she had a good feeling about the upcoming day.

*

“Listen, love, I’m not sure if you could tell but I’m not exactly a people person. I don’t know you, don’t want to know you, have no plans to get to know you. You might live in the building but that doesn’t mean we need to be friendly.”

He spoke with such vigour in his voice that YN could only keep quiet so as to not entice a negative reaction out of him in such a confined space because confrontation was something she was never comfortable with. Sure, she’d endured confrontation before but that was from people she had been acquainted with, the ones she was friends with, people she saw on a daily basis and from people she worked with, from those who were supposed to confront her when something was wrong or hadn’t been down in a way it was supposed to be done; her boss, mainly. This man was a complete stranger, someone she didn’t know,someone she’d never seen before so instant regret filled her veins. She thought he looked friendly enough to start a quick conversation, to make the lift ride seem a little less boring, filling the empty space with general chit-chat.

Cowering away from him and almost closing in on herself, even though his attention stayed focused on the screen of his phone as he scrolled through a social media app, she thought he’d finished with her and she hadn’t expected him to perk up anymore.

“Not everyone likes to chat to strangers.”

“Well, I like chatting to strangers so don’t mind him,” a quirky Geordie accent perked up from behind her, her posture adjusting at the sudden appearance of someone behind her; she’s sure she didn’t see anyone else in the lift, apart from the towering bloke beside her, when she stepped into the lift but, then again, he was tucked away in the corner with a cap on his head and she had been looking at the floor as she entered because a mark on her white shoe had caught her attention. “Come chat to me, if you want. Promise I won’t bite your head off like matey-boy there.”

Her trainers squeaked on the floor as she spun around, eyes raking up and down his figure so she could get a good look at who the voice belonged to, almost staking him out in a way. He was a handsome chap, with brown hair sticking out from beneath a black cap upon his head that he’d pulled quite far down his forehead, a cheeky grin on his face that made the mood in the lift much brighter. There was a graphic print printed on the front of the black hoodie he had decided to throw on, the commonly-known Adidas stripes lining the length of his joggers, trainers on his feet with the laces loose and almost untying by themselves (clumsy, she assumed he was, because there’s no way he wouldn’t trip over them as soon as they loosened completely).

“I’m Will. Will Lenney.”

“I’m YN.”

“Do I get your surname? S’only fair since I told you mine.”

She laughed softly and replied with her surname, a look of appreciation on his features as he held his hand out for her to take, which she gladly shook with her own. Skin so soft, fingers so delicate, with a hold so strong that she couldn’t find herself letting go. She didn’t want to let go. This was the first contact she’d had with someone new, in a month of being new to the area, and it just so happened to be with someone she found rather attractive to the eye.

The bloke from before, who had tore down her attempts at being the friendly neighbour who he would, no doubt, see quite often, couldn’t help but let out the strongest sigh of annoyance. A sound that brought them back to reality, hands falling from their hold, dropping back down to their sides with a faint rosy-look on their cheeks that didn’t come from how warm it was. A sound that made the both of them turn their noses up, that made them their eyebrows scrunch on their browlines and made them want to really throw words at him until he gained some manners. Yet they ignored him because he wasn’t worth the time.

“You’re new here, aren’t you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” he started, adjusting the backpack on his shoulder that had slipped with the movement of his arm falling down to his side. His fingertips and right down to the middle of his palm still felt heavy with the thought of her hand still in his. “I’d remember such a beautiful face.”

The heat already on her cheeks reached boiling and she knew her flushed look caught his attention. His smile turning into a grin which had her looking at her feet, shyly. A handsome lad with a sense of immense charm about him; she liked him and it wasn’t typical of her to form an attraction at such an early stage.

“Yeah, I moved in about a month ago. Floor 10, right at the end of the corridor. A proper upgrade from where I used to be located but thanks to my work, they moved me from my previous office block to my current office block in Canary Wharf and said they’d move me closer if necessary,” she thought she was rambling and she expected a look of faint annoyance on his features that would silently tell her to shut up. She picked at the loose string hanging from the hem of her t-shirt and twirled it around her finger, looking up from her feet and seeing a look of intense concentration on his face, enticing her to carry on. “The move was necessary. Completely necessary. It wasn’t a nice place where I was before, it was the first thing I saw on the website and I was desperate for somewhere to live. If I stayed there, I would be half an hour away otherwise.”

Canary Wharf.

It was a complete upgrade from the streets of Hackney and the dingy flat she had become so accustomed to for a little less than a year; the smell of weed and tobacco would fill the corridors and hit her in the face when she left her front door, the lights were always dim and flickered and the lifts were rickety and untrustworthy, discarded bikes and scooters and old prams and baby-carriers littered the space between one end of the hallway to the other, suspicious figures dressed in black hoodies and grey joggers always greeted her with stone-cold faces and squared-up jaws. An attempt, she guessed, to look like they were the typical hardnuts of the complex and that they weren’t to be messed with, even if it was just a polite ‘excuse me’ to pass them by and to be out of their hair within a moment.

It wasn’t all bad, regardless. Her neighbours were sweethearts, they always said hello and invited her in for cups of tea and a slice of cake after she finished work, most people were kind and warm and had their own back stories as to why they chose such a place to live - she could only imagine that the building was a nice place to live, with residents who took care of themselves and the place they lived in, before London gangs took over and were on the high of increasing and before drug dealers became more frequent on the streets - and her life, thank god,  was never bothered. No one intervened, no one found her life to be their business to spread and life felt normal; she had a home, somewhere to live, somewhere to sleep and eat and shower and feel warm and cosy in a bed. Even if it wasn’t as nice as she had wanted it to be, she had somewhere.

Her new flat was almost dream-like if you compared it to what she lived in before. It made her Hackney flat look like a pit; a drug-den, if you will. She could wake up to pure sunshine filtering through double-glazed windows and there was no chance that she would be rudely woken up in the middle of the night from the ghoulish moans of the wind getting trapped between cracked window panes or the drunken yells of people stumbling down the hallways back to their homes. She could walk to her new place of work rather than hop on public transport and she could take the time to explore a side of London she never had the chance to see. Her floor was laminated wood, heated when the nights were cold, and there were no stains of garishly and disgusting colours of god-knows-what from previous tenants who had lived there. The view was beautiful, she could see right to the end of the horizon, and the scenes she was greeted with on her arrival home were almost picturesque… except pictures could never do it justice.

She’d been there for a month.

A whole four weeks.

And she could already feel improvements in her lifestyle that weren’t so bold before. She woke up happier and didn’t feel the need to stay in bed for a lie-in, she felt happier during the day and had a bob in her step that brought light to her office block, she felt safe when she walked out the reception and into the open space by the entrance and didn’t feel like she would be jumped by hiding predators if she arrived home late at night. She was friendly with her neighbours, always popped round to give them any post that had been posted through her mailbox by accident or if deliveries were left with them when she’d been at work and always started a conversation with them when they stood waiting for the lift to arrive on their floor.

“Oh, nice. What is it-”

The ding of the lift stopped Will mid-sentence, silenced them and halted their conversation as the doors opened to reveal the reception floor, empty and desolate from people. It was mid-morning, almost lunchtime, so YN had assumed most were working or out in the streets of London to enjoy the sunshine; the latter being what she had planned to do.

The man from the lift, who had tucked himself in the corner and stuck earphones in to block out their conversation, made sure he was the first one out and disappeared before YN could give him a sarcastic goodbye, not that he would have heard her anyway so she settled with a wave, a really exaggerated and over-the-top wiggle of her fingers, and hoped he saw it in the reflection of the window as he left and disappeared into the mass of people walking by their block of apartments.

“You’re a right character, you,” Will admitted, nudging her with his elbow and smirking at her, “what is it you do, job-wise? That’s what I wanted to ask.”

“I’m a PA for a CEO at an advertising company. A personal assistant who runs and gets coffee for everyone, gets lunch during her lunch-break, who organises meetings and creates schedules and gets the big boss what he wants when he wants it,” she clarified, “it’s not exactly the best job and I wish I was doing something I wanted to do but it pays well. For now, it’s enough to get me by and keep this place.”

They started walking toward the automatic doors of the entrance, feeling the cool air of the shade on their exposed skin that definitely disappeared as soon as the sunshine hit them, coming to a stop just by a brick wall. Young children were running around with their parents walking behind, cyclists were dinging bells to pass through large groups and groups of university students were huddled on the grass, eating lunches they’d brought from restaurants on their way, backpacks discarded and being used as pillows as they laughed and joked. Tourists were taking photos and posing to show off where they’d been and what they got up to when it came to showing their friends back home and businessmen and businesswomen were almost speed-walking to get back to their offices in time with a styrofoam takeaway lunch in their hands.

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I? Just tell me to piss off if I am.”

“No, no. Don’t be silly. I’m only popping round the corner to see my mate. He won’t mind if I’m late,” he said, perching down on the brick wall and patting the space beside him. The legs of his ankles rose up to show the white ankle socks he’d paired with his trainers., “What is it you want to do as a job? Just, the way you talk about your job now makes it sound like you don’t like it.”

“I do like it there. But I don’t want to be a personal assistant, running round London to get coffee and sandwiches, for the rest of my life. I’ve always dabbled in blogging, taking photos, talking about nonsense and stuff. Posting videos and vlogging, too. I’ve tried it out as something fun, documenting holidays and stuff, and I’d love to do something with that and take it further but... I don’t know,” she sat down beside him, sliding her bag off of her shoulder and setting it on her lap, arm looped underneath the handles to keep it from spilling the contents inside, “I don’t want to be a social influencer but someone who does what she wants to do and gets by by just being herself. No companies to promote her or anything. Nothing to boost her. All her,” she stared off into the distance, tapping the heel of her foot against the concrete. Will nodded. “What do you do?”

“I, uh,” he scoffed out a laugh and rubbed the nape of his neck. His hat fell from his head and he decided to swap the shade of the cap to the sunglasses he had hanging from the neck of his hoodie, “funnily enough, I post videos on Youtube. I’m a Youtuber.”

Her head whipped round and she gawked at him. Eyes wide, mouth agape and her hand found his forearm, squeezing it tightly with excitement.

“You’re not?”

“I am, yeah. I was in university, didn’t like what I was studying, and I was told that if I really felt strongly about this Youtube malarky then I should pursue it to its possible potential and see where I end up. My mum’s words, not mine,” he snorted. He felt her hand loosen around his forearm and he watched her face become rigid as she came to the realisation of what she’d done. He dismissed it because he didn’t want to embarrass her but, really, he didn’t mind and he found it endearing.  “I’m not that big or popular or anything but I’ve got a couple million subscribe-”

“Not that big,” she mocked and rolled her eyes, “a couple million subscribers is huge. I’ll have to search you up. What’s your channel name?”

“WillNE. Like, Will then an N then an E. Like a-”

“Like a play on words with your surname,” she grinned as she proudly finished his sentence for him and he nodded, rather pleased with himself; and she had to give it to him, it was something special, unique and rather creative than some of the stand-out names she could think of from the platform. Some were really out there and had no relevance to who they were nor what they spoke about, some were vague and some were almost as bonkers as the people who came up with them. “That’s really cool. This is really cool. A famous Youtuber lives in my flat complex... I’m talking to a famous Youtuber right now... heck, I’ve managed to keep my cool around someone famous and I’m amazed I haven’t embarrassed myself. Wait till I tell my friends about this. They won’t believe me.”

“They’re not fangirls or anything, are they?”

“No, ha. If anyone’s the fangirl out of my friends then it’s me. I’ll find myself watching Youtube when I’ve got nothing else to do,” she admitted, “cooking dinner? I’ll stick someone on to watch. Can’t sleep? I’ll just binge watch someone until I’m tired. Day off and there’s nothing to do? I’ll find a channel and just let it go from there.”

“Maybe I’ll pop up on there one day. I’ll help cure your boredom,” Will grinned, “then you can say ‘hey, that’s one of my mates there on my telly, that is’.”

A comfortable silence swallowed the both of them as they sat and let the seconds tick by. The tweets of the birds came from above, distant chatter came from the students lounging on the grass behind, scuffs of soles signified people were walking and jogging nearby and despite the feeling of time coming to end between the two of them, neither of them wanted to leave the other, neither wanted to bring the conversation to an end and neither of them wanted to part ways.

“So, we’re mates, huh?”

“Yeah, I reckon so,” Will smiled. Eyes locking with hers for a brief second, long enough to catch the twinkle in her eye and the genuine smile that lifted up her lips, “you’re a good’un. I like you. I think we’ll get along really bloody well, me and you.”

*

(WILL’S TEXTS. YN’S TEXTS.)

Filming a video tomorrow. Fancy coming by?

Won’t I get in the way?

Bollocks will you. Come along. Please. You can see firsthand how to make a Youtube video since you said you’ve always thought about it.

Where?

Only at my place. A TWOTI.

This Week On The Internet… nice one. I’ll be there.

You’ve done your research on me!

Spent all day googling you. As soon as you walked away, I started my research and I cut my day short so I could come home and watch your videos. Just call me a superfan now.

Superfan, ha.

I’ll have to test you. Could get you in a video to see if you’re my biggest fan.

Try me. I’ll get full marks. Your subscribers will look like phonies compared to me, hahaha.

You might have to sit off camera, out of shot, tomorrow. If I don’t finish everything by the time you get here, that is. No distractions. No pulling faces behind the camera.

I’ll be on my best behaviour. I’ll fangirl at the door, drop my Twitter handle into conversation, ask for a signature and a photo and then I’ll be fine.

I’m not going to regret this, am I?

You won’t hear a peep out of me. Promise.

Come by after lunch then. We can get some takeaway for lunch or something, if you don’t eat before, and I’ll have some bits filmed by the time you get here so you won’t have to sit in silence for too long.

Make it 1pm and it’s a deal.

Why 1pm?

It’s Saturday tomorrow. I don’t get up before noon on the weekends. Not even for you, mister big-shot Youtuber. ;)

And here I was, thinking you would throw your routine away for your new best mate.

Nice try.. see you tomorrow, William.

Ohh, serious. Full name and all. I see how it is, YN.

Goodnight, you muppet.

See you tomorrow. x

[airyairyaucontraire]

I want to live in the Heelers’ house from Bluey. They’ve got:

A kitchen

A dining room (admittedly open plan which I hate, kitchens should be separable)

Bedrooms for the parents and the kids

A huge playroom with two sets of French doors onto the deck around the house

A sunroom

A family bathroom with a big claw foot tub and separate shower

A separate toilet

An en suite for the parents’ bedroom

A verandah (for Santa)

An upper level of deck with a barbecue, excellent for weekend day drinking if you are Chilli and Aunt Trixie

A study/office

A big living room

A hall and staircase big enough to play Raiders of the Lost Ark with a yoga ball

A sunroom

A great big fenced back garden with a brick pizza oven and a sandpit and a trampoline (and a fish pond if Chilli gets her way post-“Stumpfest”)

A huge tree (possibly a magnolia) with bench seats built around it and paper lanterns in the branches

Even if there is always lorikeet poo on the deck and there is no air conditioning so they just have to have fans everywhere in summer and Lucky’s dad’s palm tree fronds keep falling on the lawn, I WANT TO LIVE THERE

[the-possum-writes]

Finn crushing hard on another human female that he discovered and she’s just this precious quirky lil thing (I’ve seen the way he acted around flame princess when he first met her and honestly it was adorable 🥺). Sorry if this is too much, u don’t have to do it 🥺🥺🥺

I agree that Finn can be adorable at times It’s fine, i can work with little info by filling in with what comes to mind. Though if it’s not what you have in mind you can specify next time ^w^’

Finn crushing on a Human Girl

I could see this taking place before the Islands mini special because before that, humans were very rare.

Just like him, you were adopted and raised by animals in a household but the only reason your human heritage went under the radar was because you always had a disguise on. It wasn’t until you were involved in a monster incident that blew your cover and revealed yourself to the world.

Being of an almost extinct species made you very popular, though it also caught the attention of the hero of Ooo. But he didn’t know how to approach you or make small talk.

Bubblegum found it interesting to have two of a rare species interact together so she motivates Finn to hang out with you for ‘scientific reasons’ as she puts it.

Overwhelmed by the attention, Finn manages to find you alone on a grassy hill.

Finn: “Rough day?”(y/n): “You have no idea.”Finn: “Actually i have a fair idea of how it’s like. I’m Finn by the way.”

You two relate to each other, finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone in certain aspects.

Finn: “And a couple of rainicorns tried to eat me because apparently we have good taste.”(Y/n): “We could test it out, you eat my arm and i eat your leg.” you joked.Finn: “Sure, just bring me some barbecue sauce.” he played along as well.

He has a fun time being around you, not just because you’re human, but because you’re fun and interesting to him.

Finn can be very boyish when romance is related.

One second he is happy-go-lucky but once he finds out he likes you, that’s when his behavior shifts. Constantly trying to show how brave and strong he is, but at the same time getting his tongue in a twist and acting weird.

You misunderstand his behavior, believing that the only reason he’s hanging around you is because you’re the only human around.

Finn: “It’s not because of that. I just, get a little poo brain when i’m around you cause i think you’re cool and fun and i just wanna hold your hand… i’m doing it again aren’t i? I think i said too much.” he internally face palms himself.(Y/N): “Yeah, you did ya dork.” you chuckle, poking his cheek “But i’m glad to know the reason for your poo brain is because of me.” you say before giving Finn a small kiss on the cheek and grabbing his hand. “Com’on, i know of  place that sells discount chicken nuggets and fries.”Finn: “I’d like that.” he smiles.

[imacrowcawcaw]

7. 💋The Kiss - April 3rd

A/N: Here it is! The last installment…. *sheds a tear* No, I had fun and I’m happy I did this! And for all the lovely comments and attention it’s received; I write for myself but it gives me so much joy to see others engaging with my stuff. I’m glad that everyone has liked it. Alright, now onto the party!!!

Warning: some angst, then some kissy kissy kissin, and the usual amount of swearing

There was a fuck ton of food barbecued to perfection, as well as platters of other appetizers and snacks. There were coolers and a bar and a keg already half drained of beer. There was a large, chocolatey cake covered in strawberries, and big plates of cupcakes too. Food, dancing, decorations, presents, good music, friends and family.

Which is good cause Sam had purchased half of it and specifically asked for the other.

He looked around and grinned widely. He had eaten a delicious meal (or three), drank tons of alcohol, cut his favorite kind of cake (that actually got baked to his specifications thank god), and received two whole tables of shiny presents. Sam was having a great fucking time!

He sipped on whatever cocktail it was that Ronnie had handed him and stepped around three of his little cousins playing a card game on the floor. They grinned up at him and he smiled back, plucking a carrot stick from a plate and running away when Janey shrieked at him. 

“Come back here you thief!”

“Nuh uh! It’s my birthday, Janey-poo. I can do what I want!” Sam yelled back at the little girl, who stuck her tongue out at him.

Right as he was about to get away scot free with his stolen loot, Sam bumped into a solid chest that immediately pressed against him. 

“Is that so, hmm?” 

A tequila-scented breath tickled the hair around his ear and Sam shivered. The voice, however, made him feel warm and sated, like he had just made love on a perfectly tempered Hawaiian beach. Two strong arms came around his torso and grabbed onto him, turning Sam around to face the owner of the voice. 

Danny.

“Are you causing trouble?” 

Sam blushed and automatically steadied himself with a hand on Danny’s shoulder. He was really warm and swayed into Sam’s touch -- apparently they were both quite tipsy already.

“Nah, I’m not. What’s up, doc? Want a carrot?”

Danny raised his eyebrow at Sam and eyed the vegetable in his hand suspiciously. He leaned forward and nuzzled his nose into the hair at his temples and Sam stiffened, surprised. What was Danny doing? Not that he didn’t like it - and not that they weren’t occasionally very close, especially when high - but this wasn’t exactly normal. 

“You should give that back to Jane,” Danny whispered into his ear, and Sam could feel a hint of tongue on the rigid cartilage. 

Sam gasped and clutched Danny tighter, turning his head so that he could have better access. Danny was licking the shell of his ear, humming low from his throat while he did it. His hands clutched tightly at Sam’s waist, and Sam was like twenty degrees past his boiling point by now. This was amazing.

“Fuck, Sammy, I hav-”

“I really don’t want it anymore.”

Wait, what?

Danny pulled away from him so swiftly that Sam could barely comprehend it. One moment he had been enjoying a surprising but completely welcome.... well, something (was an ear job a thing? Cause that was sexual as fuck) then Danny was standing back and blushing like he just realized what he had been doing. 

Sam blinked the fog from his head and glanced around -- who had said that? Why was Danny acting like this, and why had he stopped?

Janey was looking up at them with the type of sassy, knowing expression that only a nine-year-old girl and Josh could pull off. She smirked - and it was really unsettling to see a child, much less his sweet little cousin, do that - and then tapped Sam on the back. 

“Um. Yes?”

She looked at him like he was stupid, and Sam kind of felt like it. What had she seen? Was she going to tell his mom like he was the little kid being naughty when Danny had been doing -- what would he have done if they continued? 

Danny was still holding him in his arms, but he was silent and Sam could practically feel the regret washing off of him. He started to panic as scenes of distant, awkward interactions for the rest of their lives played out before him.

Janey was still standing there, now tapping her foot with crossed arms. Sam’s other two cousins had wandered over at some point and were standing behind her, looking up at him and Danny with indecipherable expressions -- but Janey was clearly the leader. 

“Uh, Janey? Do you need something?” Danny asked, and he looked extremely uncomfortable; big eyes pleading with her for mercy, which Sam found extremely worrying.

She rolled her eyes and flipped a wrist. “You’re blocking the food table. AND Sam stole my carrot. I’m hungry.”

“Oh, right- uhh, sorry.”

Sam moved aside and pulled Danny with him, watched the three children file by and fill their plates with all sorts of sugar he knew they weren’t supposed to have. He couldn’t actually feel it, but he knew his face was flushing red from embarrassment and confusion. 

Danny cleared his throat next to him and Sam glanced over. He realized that he was still gripping his best friend tightly by the shoulder and he let go, patting him awkwardly on the arm before ceasing all contact. They parted ways with a weird combination of soft, familiar smiles and avoided eye contact then Sam was left standing in the corner with a cocktail glass in one hand and the fucking carrot in the other.

God. What was happening? 

------

Sam sat at a folding table and picked at his third slice of cake. Josh was next to him, talking about… something, maybe- probably films, and Sam was easily ignoring him like he usually did. GAG was done so there was no need to respond to the quips and questions geared to start a debate. 

Josh slowly trailed off and Sam looked up at the silence after a minute, curious. He found his brother staring right back at him with a very constipated expression -- Sam had the brief thought that Josh was trying to work through all that cheesy-bread he’d eaten and maybe he could, like, not do that at the table? Please? But then Josh spoke and things started clicking into a place oft visited in the past few days.

“You’re upset about something. Danny. What happened?”

Oh lord not again. Sam was glad for the support-slash-teasing, but he was just so done answering all the questions the twins kept firing at him. He didn’t know what was happening, okay?! Danny had never shown any interest in him, or any other men for that matter, and that weird little thing earlier was probably just because of the alcohol. Danny didn’t love him back. They had to stop trying to convince him otherwise. 

Sam told Josh exactly that, with much conviction, and it was a very bittersweet feeling to watch the emotion slideshow his face went through. Patience, confusion, exasperation, confusion again, anger, curiosity. He was like a carousel of carnival masks. 

“You’re such an idiot.”

And now Jake was here. Yay.

His second-oldest brother continued. “A gay, oblivious, completely and utterly stupid idiot. So is Danny, but-”

“No more buts! I am finished with this conversation, and I want you to leave me alone tonight. I’m trying to have a good time here.”

“Cause that’s going well,” Josh snorted and Sam glared at him.

Couldn’t they just let him wallow in his murky confusion?! What was that saying -- it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to? Well, Sam wasn’t going to cry in front of his guests, but he could feel it building behind his eyes and he knew that the waterworks would be coming that night when he was finally alone. 

And suddenly, Sam was angry at Danny, too. How dare he? He had to know how Sam felt, and he had teased him like that. Held him close, whispered in his ear, licked him -- and then broke away like he was ashamed and shocked to even be near Sam. 

He was actually going to cry now. It was coming, and Sam was leaving with a flurry of long, skinny legs, cries behind him of “Wait, Sammy! Your surprise! You can’t leave!” 

But he could, and he was going to. 

There was a large oak tree that he used to climb when he was a kid and needed to get away from everything. Sam ran to it now, pulling himself up on memory-imprinted knotholes while his vision clouded with salty tears. The tree was his and Danny’s favorite spot when they were younger -- after they had finished their snacks and homework, both boys would race each other to the top and look out at the land before them. 

It sort of hurt, to be in this spot where good memories with his best friend hung from every branch like ornaments, but it was also comforting. 

Sam let himself be hugged into the wooden arms of the oak as he silently cried, surrounded by thoughts of love and realities of desolation. He was a mess. His eyes stung and his head was tipsy from all the drinks and he’d eaten too much food and he just wanted to go home now and he couldn’t fucking stop crying, dammnit.

How had this happened? It had hurt, but Sam had been fine with just being friends; laughing close and longing from afar. Now he was confused and in pain. How could he go on with this one taste of what could have been? 

He thought of all that had happened this week. All the preparations, the anticipation, his cycling feelings of hope and sadness. He was so tired. 

------

Sam woke up in a fucking tree. What the hell? How did he get up here? Why was he up here? How on Earth did he not fall out while he had, apparently, been asleep?

He carefully steadied himself against the trunk with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other. What day - well, night now, actually - was it? Why did his head hurt so much?

There was a shuffling below him, and Sam looked down to see Danny staring up at him with his big, sad puppy dog eyes. 

That was good. Even if he was in a tree and he didn’t know where the tree was or what day it was, Sam could count on Danny to be there for him. As in, supporting him by the hips while he shakily climbed down.

“I’m so sorry, Sammy. I just got so excited that I kind of forgot to give you your present first and Josh said that you wouldn’t mind but you clearly do, and-”

Danny stopped talking - babbling really, since he was clearly nervous - when he realized the utter confusion on Sam’s face. 

Sam was very confused indeed. What the hell was Danny talking about? He was getting some half-baked memories back from his brain that told him something had recently gone down. Something big. But he was having trouble piecing it all together and the very apprehensive looks from his best friend weren’t really making him eager to remember. 

“Oh my god, did I confess to you?”

The thought suddenly flew into his brain and out of his mouth in a woosh of air that felt a lot like horror movie chills. Oh god, what had he done?

“What? No, Sammy, I- or, I was going to… Wait, did you hit your head? You’re acting really weird. Do you not remember?”

Maybe he had. Sam sat down against the tree trunk, pulling a concerned Danny with him, and forced a thought process.

Where was he? At the base of his favorite oak tree on the edge of their property. What day was it? It was his birthday, actually, or maybe very early the morning after. Who was he with? Danny - which seemed obvious - but Sam was starting to worry that he did actually hit his head; it usually didn’t take this long for his brain to get back online after a nap. 

Why had he been in the tree, and what was Danny apologizing for? Now that was the ticket question. 

Oh. 

Oh.

FUCK.

This was not an ideal situation. He had been having a good time at his party, then Danny had gone and metaphorically hung him by his ankles, probably not on purpose, THEN Sam had moped about and stormed off - like a toddler - when the twins tried to help him figure it out. And then he took a nap in a tree. And now Danny was holding him and probably feeling really bad about what happened because he looked like he was about to cry way more than Sam had earlier. 

“Fucking hell.”

“Um, yeah,” Danny agreed with a small, nervous laugh. 

Sam looked at him and sighed, then rested his head on Danny’s shoulder. Why had he been mad at him? Danny was clearly drunk and had no clue about his crush -- he refused to believe he was as obvious as the twins insisted. He was just worried about why Sam was sleeping in a tree when he should have been enjoying his twenty-first birthday, and this had nothing to do with what had happened. Duh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed some time alone, and I guess I fell asleep. Is the party still going?” Sam asked, trying to smile and put on a fresh face.

Danny still looked hesitant.

“It is, but a lot of people left too. It’s late, dude. Midnight. You sure you’re okay? Josh said that you were really upset, and I-”

Sam laid his hand over Danny’s and he stopped talking again, looking up at him. 

He was so goddamn beautiful, and Sam was totally getting lost in his eyes like a cheesy romance novel. So gorgeous. All swirling hazel and green with little flecks of brown and reflections of distant party lights. 

Danny blushed high on his cheekbones and stared right back at Sam. He moved in closer and cupped his face in his hand. 

Sam barely even noticed it; he was too busy watching the pretty face before him that was slowly moving closer-

Oh. Holy. Shit!

Danny was kissing him. Danny was kissing him. Danny was kissing him. DANNY WAS KISSING HIM?!

Sam squealed - and he didn’t even care - and kissed back. His enthusiasm seemed to push Danny back a bit in surprise, but Sam’s mouth followed. He didn’t care if he was making noises like a guinea pig, or if his ass was cold and wet from the night dew-covered grass, or even if this was some weird concussion dream. Danny was kissing him!

Their tongues met and Sam melted even more into the warm, solid body next to him. His hands reached for Danny’s hair and one of his knees swung onto his best friend’s lap as big hands clutched at his cheeks.

It was everything he had thought it would be and so much more.

Danny pulled his mouth away after a minute and rested their foreheads against each other, panting. He gave one more quick peck and then pulled back to look at Sam with shiny, love filled eyes. 

“Happy birthday,” he whispered. “I’ve loved you for- forever, it feels like, and I think that you love me, too. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I, I guess I decided that I was going to give myself as a present this year, and hopefully it would work out well.”

Sam was floored, and also very happy. He was going to be suspicious that this was a joke, but then he abandoned it -- Danny would never. He was completely incapable of doing something so cruel and dishonest as to pretend, and Sam honestly felt really bad about getting mad at him earlier. 

He smiled, big, and hung his arms around Danny’s neck. 

“Thank you. This is, like, the best present ever. You know I’ve been thinking about this for years?”

Danny’s eyes crinkled and he kissed Sam again, sweet little pecks all over his lips and chin. 

“I kind of thought so. I’m really happy this worked- Oh! I do actually have another present for you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Uh, here,” Danny mumbled as he thrust a hand into his pocket and fumbled around.

His hand came back and suddenly there was glitter everywhere. Sam was getting flashbacks to a few days ago in the Wagner’s dining room and he giggled. 

“I got you a bracelet, and I added some, uh, pizzazz, to the gift presentation. I hope you don’t mind. My thinking was that, even if you didn’t like my other gift, I could still get you something kind of cool. If you did, though….” He trailed off, gently clasping the jewelry around Sam’s thin wrist. “I want to use it to ask you to be mine.”

Sam was probably going to cry again. He nodded and kissed Danny desperately to fight off the tears, then pulled back to inspect his new bracelet. It was made of small, carved, silver disks that glittered with inlaid gems. Blue and white diamonds, Sam realized; white and blue, the color of their birthstones, and diamond was also the material of Sam’s. Each gem was ringed with a small strip of gold to fold it in place, and the entire bracelet was surprisingly thin and discreet -- not some gaudy, overly-flashy piece of costume jewelry. It wasn’t too small to appreciate the details, though, and the metal already felt warm and lightweight on his wrist; it was absolutely perfect.

“It’s beautiful, thank you. And I love you, too.”

“Good! I’m glad that you like it and that this wasn’t a horrible idea.”

Sam shook his head vehemently. He stood up with help from his new boyfriend (holy shit) and they walked hand in hand back towards the party.

Josh and their mom were getting down on the dance floor to Tom Petty and Sam laughed. The sound drew the attention of Jake; at first he looked apprehensive, but when he saw their linked hands, he grinned widely.

Jake walked over to them, snagging three beers on the way. He opened them and handed one to each, eyeing Sam’s new jewelry with a knowing eye. 

“Happy birthday, man.”

“Yeah, happy birthday, baby,” Danny agreed, pulling Sam into him and kissing his temple. 

Sam beamed. Happy fucking birthday to him!

[hercycleface]

Global inventory of wonderful beer: What I drink is not wine, but creativity!

Isn't beer just yeast, barley, water and hops? Well, it's also right and wrong-for some beer, this statement is simply wrong. The brains of the beer brewer are too big, and sometimes the brewed beer-how to put it-is quite "interesting". The following wonderful beers are the best examples.

Collagen beer Speaking of weirdness, the Japanese definitely do their part. Suntory launched a collagen beer called Precious, which is said to remove wrinkles left by the years and make you look young and invincible. This 5-degree Talrag comes in 330ml cans and contains 2 grams of collagen per can.

Cat Shit Beer You must have heard of the famous cat feces coffee: a civet living in the tropics eats coffee cherries and is discharged from the other side of the body. The action of stomach acid can make coffee beans produce a different flavor. Beer Geek Brunch Weasel from Megele is a breakfast Shitao with an alcohol level of 10.9-be careful, the wine is full of strength.

Bloody (Mary) Beer Well, strictly speaking, it is not based on Bloody Mary, a good brunch partner. However, Short's Brewing Company of Bel Air, Michigan does use cherry tomatoes in its Bloody Beer, as well as black pepper and celery. Rapeseed, wasabi, and dill, so it’s similar to Bloody Mary. This "Cool Beer from Bel Air" has long been discontinued, with an alcohol content of 7, and an international bitterness index of 40.

Fossil beer The Lost Rhino Brewery in Virginia and PaleoQuest, a non-profit organization that promotes the excavation of dinosaur fossils rather than food trends, have teamed up to create a beer that will attract attention to science. They collected yeast from whale fossils 35 million years ago and made a 5.5-degree beer named Bone Dusters Amber Ale. Cool! It's a pity that the yeast is not collected from the fossils of the long extinct rhino or Tyrannosaurus.

Sheep dung beer After reading this list, you will find that Icelandic brewers really have a lot of free time and a whimsical spirit of adventure. The Borg Brugghus brewery is a good example: due to lack of wood, they lighted the sheep dung pile to smoke and roast the malt when making Fenrir Nr26. American IPA smoked and roasted with sheep dung, alcohol content 6, and international bitterness index 63.

Beer older than whale fossils Fossil Fuels Brewing Co has a product called AY108, which uses yeast found in bee fossils. This bee was wrapped in pine resin and turned into amber in the Eocene Eocene 45 million years ago (is it so shocking that it can’t close its mouth?). Professor Raul Cano figured out how to separate the yeast from above, and then wondered how to make the best use of it. Finally, he chose to brew beer instead of bread. The first result is this Dan Aier named after yeast, and there is also a Saisen.

Beer made with money The evil twins collaborated with the Norwegian craft brewer Lervig Aktiebryggeri in the port of Stavanger. The raw material is real banknotes. What's even more exaggerated is that they threw some frozen pizza into it. The alcohol content is 17.5 degrees.

Heavy beer from the toilet The Danish government and Norrebro Bryghus brewery are really fighting for environmental protection, and they even have the idea of ​​urinating. They recovered a large amount of urine from the famous Roskilde Music Festival and used it to brew a Pearson called Pisner. Do you want to contribute to the cause of sustainable development? Then taste the piss of these hippies.

Colorful beer Abashiri Brewery in Hokkaido, Japan uses seaweed and other natural ingredients to brew red, blue and green beer. They also used beer and excess milk to produce a malt drink called Bilk. Apart from other things, at least it is colorful.

Beer made from sewage The sewage in the sewer sounds as disgusting as dirty waste oil. I'm afraid no one can drink anything made of it. The Jushi Brewery in San Diego brewed an IPA using recycled water provided by the city's water purification project. This Dan Air, called Full Circle, is limited to five barrels, but it may indicate the future of beer brewing.

Roald Dahl Beer Yeast is ubiquitous and can be collected everywhere, so why not collect some yeast from the custom desk of the late children's literature writer Roald Dahl? London creative company Bompas & Parr entrusted this task to 40FT Brewery to brew Odious Ale for a pop-up restaurant based on Dahl's "Stupid Couple".

Beer from the moon Dogfish Head Brewery is keen to challenge the limit, but often thinks too crazy and circumvents itself in, but the time when they ventured into space may be their most rebellious exploration so far. With the help of the company that makes spacesuits for NASA, they got some dust on the moon, which was taken from NASA where the moon landed on the moon—well, no more obscurations, it’s on the moon— —Collected, and then spilled into this limited edition beer called Oktoberfest. Alcohol 5, International Bitterness Index 25.

Elephant Poop Beer The Japanese brewery Sankt Gallen wanted to brew a beer that will be unforgettable, so he thought of elephant poo. How does it work? They fed coffee cherries to elephants living in Thailand’s wildlife sanctuary, and then brewed a "chocolate shitao" called Un, Koon Kuro (a pun for "poop" in Japanese) from elephant dung coffee beans. It was also selected for sale on April Fool's Day, but this is not a joke.

Beer as dark as ink Cuttlefish juice—or more precisely the juice of cuttlefish, squid and octopus, or the juice of cephalopods—can be said to be everywhere now, so you can’t help thinking that these animals are scared when they face the extinction of humans. What is it like? Anyway, the master brewer of 3 Sheeps in Wisconsin created a black IPA called Nimble Lips Noble Tongue No3, using cuttlefish juice.

Too private beer We are all adults, but the Internet will always surprise us head-on, especially when you see a page on the crowdfunding website Indiegogo for the world’s first vaginal beer fundraising-this one is called Bottled Instinct's acid ale uses lactic acid extracted from a Czech model. We don't know if anyone will drink it, because this project has not even raised 1% of the final goal of 150,000 euros, and it should be a joke on April Fools' Day at all? Otherwise, it really makes people get goosebumps.

16. Add a whole chicken to beer

Over the years, the rooster Al almost cast a layer of mystery. It is said that it was very popular in England in the 17th and 18th centuries. In fact, it is an ordinary Al, but a whole rooster was added during the brewing process. Hand Pulled Cock Ale from Willimantic Brewing Co in Connecticut-7% alcohol, only available in barrels-is a modern version of Cock Ale, but its name still implies that old joke (you got it).

Fried chicken beer As the song in "Grease" sings, fried chicken and beer are good partners, so why not add some chicken to the beer? Veil Brewing Co of Richmond, Virginia, and the evil twins teamed up to brew chicken beer. Their Fried Fried Chicken Chicken DIPA uses a lot of Fried Chicken Nuggets.

Sheep brain beer Philadelphia's Dock Street Brewing Company brewed Dock Street Walker to pay tribute to "The Walking Dead," but it was more terrifying than zombies, using smoked lamb brains. This American Pale Shitao is 7.2 degrees, and cranberries are added to create a touch of acidity.

Whale testicle beer Icelandic microbrewer Steoji has launched Hvalur 2, which is an upgraded version of Hvalur 1, which was produced in cooperation with the whaling company Hvalur and caused a huge controversy due to the addition of full whale meat (fish meat and fish bones). As the second seasonal crossover, it uses whale testicles smoked and roasted with sheep dung—well, one is added to each winemaking cycle.

Masculine beer The Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout of Wynkoop Brewing in Denver was originally just an April Fools' Day joke, but I didn't expect it to become a reality because of the public's enthusiastic response. With an alcohol content of 7.5, three cow testicles are added to each barrel-this "gourmet" is nicknamed Rocky Mountain Oysters locally. A set of two cans is quite appropriate.

Bull Heart Beer Portland's Upright Brewing and Burnside Brewing collaborated to produce this Captain Beefheart. The ingredients include 27 kilograms of charcoal grilled beef heart and a lot of spices. Similar products include the Burke In The Bottle, a collaboration between Jim Koch of Boston Beer Company and chef David Burke.

Sunday barbecue beer Conwy Brewery in Wales caters to the close relationship between locals and sheep and brews a lamb beer. Sunday Toast is a Victorian-style Porter beer with the juice from slow roasting of Welsh lamb. Perhaps lamb-ic is more appropriate.

Truffle beer Truffles are very expensive. Using them to brew beer seems a bit risky, but some people have succeeded. Chicago Moody Tongue's black truffle crumbs Pearson is highly sought after in some of the top high-end restaurants in the United States, while Miki Le has chosen to use black truffles to brew a dark beer called The Forager.

Stag semen beer Green Man Pub in Wellington, New Zealand, and local brewer Choice Bros brewed a beer with stag semen, which caused a huge sensation for a while. We will not continue to discuss the name Lu Jing Shitao to obtain such a subtle beer, let's stop here.

Mushroom beer In the past few years, the brewery seems to have used all the mushrooms imaginable. Jester King of Austin, Texas used locally grown oyster mushrooms in this Snorkel. 4.5 Alcohol, Goss style.

Oysters (really real this time) beer The encounter between Oyster and Shi Tao gave birth to many interesting stories. We used to drink Shitao while sucking oysters beautifully. Now we use oyster shells to clarify the beer, or put them in a boiling pot, or even throw whole oysters into it. Flying Dog Pearl Necklace Oyster Shitao did just that.

Natural green beer Free Tail Brewing Co of San Antonio, Texas adds blue-green algae to a 4.2-degree rye white beer to give it a charming blue-green color. If the advertisements of Mandalay Brewing in Myanmar and Red Dot Brewery in Singapore are accurate, Spirulina beer has another magical effect-anti-aging.

Seaweed beer Bladderwrack is a good name for beer, but it is actually a kind of seaweed. Williams Bros Brew in Alloa, Scotland added it to its own Kelpie Seaweed Ale. This Scottish Groot-an ancient beer style-is intended to recreate the traditional style of beer from the coastal regions of Scotland.

Real gold beer We have all drunk golden Al, but have you ever drunk gold? Golden Queen Bee brewed by Golden Bee Beer contains edible 24K gold leaf. There is no need to throw gold like this, but if you can get another bottle of The Lost Abbey's Gift Of The Magi-a golden Al with frankincense and myrrh, then you must be full of every cell in your body The joy of Christmas.

Pizza beer Mamma Mia Pizza Beer is produced by the Chicago Pizza Beer Company. The ingredients include Margarita Pizza soaked in malt. We don’t know if the crust is Chicago-style.

Donut beer Voodoo Donuts Maple Syrup Bacon Al is the first beer launched by Voodoo Donut Bakery in collaboration with Rogue Brewery, also in Oregon. The series includes six products so far. They want to use these beers to reproduce the best-selling single-product flavors of this bakery in Portland. The latest flavors currently launched are Guerrilla Grape and Mango Spaceman.

Pig head beer Mangalica Pig Porter uses the head and bones of Mangalica Pig. This breed of pig is quite precious and is known as Kobe beef in pork. Right Brain Brewery in Traverse City, Missouri uses whole pig heads when brewing this beer, and even the eyeballs are still in the eye sockets. The winery also brews a series of more delicious pork pie beers, with raw materials including whole pork pie from a local bakery.

Expired bread beer The raw material of toast air is leftover bread that cannot be eaten, and it aims to eliminate food waste. All the profits from this beer brewed with excess bread are donated to charitable organizations, and even a factory is set up in the Bronx, New York. The recipe is public, so you can try it yourself with the leftover bread you eat.

Just put your crying beer There is a resonance between Chili Control and Beer Mania, which is why countless beers have combined these two things in one in pursuit of a mixed effect. The grimace killer at the Twisted Pine Brewery in Colorado—named after the Wudang rapist of the same name—uses six different varieties of peppers. Among them, the hottest pepper is the Devil Pepper (also known as Broken Soul Pepper). Scoville's index exceeds 1 million-the pepper is only about 2000. You can imagine how spicy it is.

Bearded beer Rogge Beard Beer can be regarded as one of the most weird beers in the world. Brewmaster John Maier extracts yeast from his beard and brews an American wild ale. Maier once vowed that he would never shave his beard, so the raw material of this beer can really be said to be

[gwentoryfics]

hyunggu what was your reaction when you saw the mc in the elevator?

Hot for Teacher, Part 5.5.

Genre | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

Pairing | Hongseok x Reader x Hyunggu (Kino)

Words | 1.5k

Summary | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

Warnings | None

Parts | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • More Coming Soon

Note | Basically I planned this scene for Part 6, but this seemed like a great opportunity to re-write it from Kino’s point of view. Enjoy 🤗

The elevator slows to a halt, only one floor away from Kino’s destination - the sixth floor, where his dorm is situated. After stopping by the vending machines on the eleventh floor, his hands are now full of Doritos (his favorite late-night snack). He’s ready to binge-watch a few more episodes of Forensic Files and nothing can stop him.

Except her.

The doors slide open to reveal her image, and he’s taken aback for more than one reason. Not only is it unusual that he would see her in this dorm building (and well past midnight), but there’s clearly something wrong. He can tell from her disheveled hair and dripping wet dress.

“_____?” He murmurs her name, and she looks up at him, clearly just as surprised as he.

“Kino…” She sounds weak, defeated.

This isn’t right. He’s never seen her so distraught. Frowning worriedly, he offers, “Do you want to come over?” No matter what put her in this state, he needs to be there for her. She’s one of Kino’s best friends; of course he wants to take care of her.

With a gentle nod, she steps onto the elevator. She seems a little wobbly, and she smells faintly of liquor. Kino is about to reach out and steady her when she leans back against the wall of the elevator, supporting herself.

Kino suddenly remembers his last encounter with her drunken self - that explicit voicemail she left when she thought she had dialed someone else. Even though she made it clear that the message wasn’t meant for him, he has to wonder how things could be different if it had been his.

What if she had meant everything she said in that voicemail, and she was as hopelessly attracted to him as the voicemail made her sound? How would he have responded then?

He doesn’t know.

She’s certainly cute. That much is undeniable. And she’s incredibly easy to get along with. Kino had so much fun with her at karaoke, and she’s definitely one of the better friends he’s made at university.

But when it comes to more than friendship, he’s just not sure what he would want. He hasn’t really thought about it too much because he doesn’t want to risk losing her friendship.

Kino lets her into the dorm, quietly letting her know that his roommate is asleep in their shared bedroom. “You don’t have to whisper, though. He’s a heavy sleeper, and you can’t hear much in there when the door is closed.”

She just nods, slipping out of her heels. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course,” Kino immediately responds, but then he holds up a finger. “Actually, hold on a sec.”

He slips into the bedroom for a moment and digs around in the pitch black for a t-shirt and shorts. Her dress is completely wet and can’t possibly be comfortable, so the least he can do is give her something else to wear.

She gratefully accepts his clothing, and she’s in the bathroom just long enough to make him worry if she’s doing alright. But just as he’s about to check in on her, she reemerges.

“Kinooooo…” She groans as she comes into the living room, plopping down on the couch next to him. She leans over, resting her head on his shoulder and tucking her legs up onto the couch. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cancelled our plans.”

Is that what’s bothering her? “It’s okay. I know that stuff comes up.” He doesn’t know exactly why she cancelled, but that doesn’t really matter. She hadn’t said much, just that she needed a raincheck for tonight.

Suddenly she sits up and looks right at him. “It was a shit night, Kino, and we would have had fun. We would have had so much fun, and I just want to eat barbecue - God I could go for some barbecue right now…”

Kino frowns. So something else is wrong. “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

Dramatically, she collapses back onto the couch. “I made out with Wooseok.”

What?

The sudden confession catches him entirely off guard. He’s aware that she’s been tutoring him, but he didn’t realize that they were close. Or that she was into him.

The most confusing part of it all, though, is the fact that he feels distinctly disappointed.

“You did?” He tries to sound unfazed, but he’s not sure if he’s convincing. “I… didn’t realize you liked him.”

“I don’t know if I do.” She sighs. “I don’t know what to think. It was sort of an accident.”

Kino’s caring-mode goes into overdrive. “Did he force himself on you?”

“No! No. It’s… I wanted to. I just… ugh I’m so tired. Can I stay over?”

He doesn’t hesitate to nod. “Yeah, of course you can stay. But I need you to drink some water before you go to sleep, okay?” She doesn’t seem out-of-her-wits drunk, but he needs to make sure that he’s at least somewhat hydrated so she doesn’t feel like death in the morning.

“What about some more tequila?” She giggles, grabbing his arm playfully.

“No.” He laughs, unable to be stern with her. “You need water.”

“Ugh, I knowww… That’s why my dress is wet.”

Kino gets up from the couch to fetch her some water. “What happened with that, anyway?”

“I did the same thing you’re doing now.” She padded behind him, following him into the kitchen, watching him fill the glass. “I told Wooseok we needed some water, but neither one of us finished, and so we just put the cups on the counter, and then he put me on the counter, and then he took off my underwear and-”

“Whoa! I don’t need all the details.” Kino interrupts her, not really wanting to hear any more of her ramblings about Wooseok and what he did or didn’t do to her tonight. He holds out the water to her. “Drink.”

She gulped it down way too fast, handing back the empty cup. “There. I did it.”

“I’m proud of you.” Kino places the cup in the sink to be washed at a later time, and then he grabs his collection of Doritos from the counter. “I know it’s not barbecue, but do you want some chips?”

“Hell yeah I want some chips.” Like a vulture, she swoops in, grabbing one of the snack-size bags from Kino’s hands. “Why do you have so many?”

Shrugging, Kino leads the way back to the couch. “I just like them.”

Mid-crunch, she blabs, “They’re goooood.” Without any sort of prompting, she reclines across the couch, resting the back of her head on Kino’s thigh.

He just chuckles. “Please, make yourself at home.”

She gives him a stupid smile and shoves another chip in her mouth. “Hey, Kino… Have you had your heart broken before?”

The question catches him off guard, but he thinks for a moment. “Yeah, but it wasn’t really a big deal. It just felt like the worst thing in the world at the time. But that was years ago, so…”

“What happened?”

He looks down at her, innocently munching on her cheesy chips. “I had a crush in high school, and when I confessed they just laughed at me.”

She frowns. “That wasn’t very nice of them.”

“It’s whatever. I went on to have other relationships and it wasn’t really a big deal.”

“You’re probably too good for them, anyway. You’re so fun. And talented. And clever. They probably had zero personality and a poo brain.”

Kino laughs warmly. “A poo brain?”

“You heard me.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”

Without thinking, Kino’s non-cheesy hand comes to rest on his lap, his fingers gently stroking her hair. He just feels so comfortable being close with her that he doesn’t even realize it might be a weird gesture.

“Mm.” She hums softly, closing her eyes. “That’s nice.”

“You like it?” He drags his fingers across her scalp.

“Mhm.” Her whole face relaxes for just a moment, and then she frowns slightly. “I think he has a girlfriend.”

“Who does?”

“The guy I like. Liked. I don’t know.”

“…The guy from the voicemail?”

She nods, eyes finally coming open. “I saw him tonight and it was awful.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, it’s a secret.”

Kino’s hand passes over her hair one more time, enjoying the feel of it. “I’m sorry that it was so awful. You’re probably too good for him, too. Clearly he’s got a severe case of poo brain if he picked someone else over you.”

Her laughter is sweet and bright, and it warms him. He’s always glad when he can make her laugh and lift her spirits. She murmurs, “Yeah, Professor Poo Brain.”

“Professor?” His hand pauses. She couldn’t mean that literally… right?

“Yeah he teaches his little poo brain class, he doesn’t even know how to add…”

What the hell is she talking about? “You’re not making any sense.”

She waves her hands, brushing him off. “It’s okay. It’s a secret. I want to sleep now.”

Kino desperately hopes that it’s just the alcohol making her spew nonsense. There’s no way she could be wrapped up in something with a professor…

Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 6.

Update | Read Part 6 here!

All Rights Reserved © gwentoryfics. No translations, reposting, and/or modifying of the material is allowed without my direct permission.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Anything else about Kota? What’s his life like?

Well not exactly that but it's a bit connected...

Now I know some of you are aware that I'm sorting out the documents and papers regarding what you as the Warriors of Hope written.

Oh yeah I think me and Masaru saw it, right?

Yeah I did...

Wa-Wait hold on, are... are you saying that you have our journals and writing?!

Wait, is something wrong Nagisa...?

N-No, it's just... there are somethings I written in there that I rather you nor anyone else see, how did you get it?

Well I was the one that found them and Sunako has been organizing them which we come and ask which one you written.

It was a lot written but Sunako was able to organize some of it.

Yeah but I want to clarify with you all regarding the rules written; I did write down the names of who wrote the rules for the 'Children’s Paradise Commandments'...

It's just... one of the rules that do concern me and I think it was Masaru that wrote this one...

Very well, show me...

*Sunako open the binder and show Nagisa and the other kids...*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Masaru's - Children’s Paradise Commandments 1

Sleep lots, eat lots, play lots.

Anything that makes you look like a Demon, like drinking and smoking, is illegal.

Any items with a picture of a Demon on them are illegal.

Wash hands before a meal.

Play video games no longer than 8 hours daily.

If you ever feel like you are showing signs of reincarnating into a Demon, take responsibility and end your own life.

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: “Gargle coffee for 20 hours straight.”

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: “Hold in their poo all day after a big barbecue.”

Jataro's - Children’s Paradise Commandments 3

If you have something on your mind, share it with the children around you.

Don’t get involved in other people’s business, like making fun of them for reading manga.

Don’t ever try to remember what life was like with the Demons.

Anybody who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: “Stuffed under the kotatsu in summer.”

Children's Paradise Commandments 4

Inscribe on your hearts the fact that the "now" is the most precious thing we have.

Do not kill pets with "adorbs" faces.

Do not lose hope.

Anyone who breaks the rules will suffer the punishment: "Hide your Video Games Somewhere You'll Never Find Them."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Wh-What...huh...? What the, what in the... what is all this?!

Well these are the rules your fellow allies had written and still trying to sort out...

But telling from your reaction, I suppose you didn't write that 4th one?

No I didn't write that one or anything else, all I did was prepare children's paradise and suggested that we have rules set since I felt we needed guidelines...

But looking at the 4th writing; I suppose that be Kotoko, correct?

Yeah that one... that one is me, I wrote that one...

Also if curious, I wrote this one too!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

This is what I hate about you, Demon-chan

Getting old means you're getting close to being completely worn out. But Demons keep saying things like you should respect your elders? Like being older makes you superior?

I feel like they're causing their own downfall. If they're old and worn out, they should act like it and bow down to the sparkly new youth. And if that happened, we wouldn't have to do this paradise plan. Well, actually, we still would!

No matter how cute cockroach-chan looks bowing down, you gotta kill them. It's super obvious they're harmful, but even if they weren't they still deserve to be killed. It's instinct! It's put into our hearts and brains! Like the same way we think poopoo and weewees are funny, right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You... seem strangely confident in this one...

I hope to god your acting just now...

Well I'm sure your aware but I always felt listening to your elders was silly, especially when Big Sis Junko taught us.

Kotoko don't say such a thing! I just, I can't believe you all wrote this; I mean do you realize how bad these rules are?! Who in the world thinks gargling coffee for 20 hours, holding your poop in is a good idea or stuffed under the kotatsu in summer can cause a heat stroke!

We-Well don't blame me, that was Masaru and Jataro! Those 2 came up with that one!

Masaru...Jataro? Did you 2 really write those? Be honest with me.

Yea-Yeah we did write them but you say to write those rules and come up with stuff for Children's paradise!

Yeah Nagisa, I'm not sure what you were expecting from us; we weren't the best with laws we just thought stuff up that sounded cool, so I can't say we were smart about this either.

So wouldn't this be your fault for asking us to writing this stuff down and expecting us to know anything? I mean, we were a bunch of kids. Just saying dude...

Oh...right...

Yeah Nagisa, I think Masaru is right about that; but I suppose we can confirm that you didn't see these since you seem shock about it...

[degenezijde]

Some local traditions my darling girlfriend didn’t know about

Schieting (shooting): 

can be held at any time before a wedding. Basically you invite people over to drink, and then you get out a metal thing (vijzelorgel - jack organ?) you fill with explosives. Then you hit it with a hammer.

It makes a lot of sound, alerting more people there is a drink/a wedding coming up. You use the chemical byproduct to mark the road in front of the lovebirds’ house, typically by drawing a heart with their initials. The mark will stay there for a long time. 

Valiezekoers (tour de luggage, I guess): look, it’s a bicycle race. But you’re carrying luggage. And every round you have to put on a new piece of clothing from your luggage. The 6 items of clothing MUST form a complete ensemble - so no wearing 2 gloves, a hat, a scarf and 2 socks. 

koetje kak (cowsie poo): a field (typically the local soccer field) is divided into squares, like a chessboard. You can buy a square. A cow is put upon the field. If the cow poos in your square, you win. That’s it. Usually done at local barbecues where everyone is just lounging in the sun and drinking beer on the sidelines. 

[mortimer-worm]

Motel Texas (Full Lyrics) - The Mockingbirds

On a warm Texas highway,

No wind in my hair

Some smell of barbecue,

Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance

I saw a cow field

My head grew heavy

And my sight grew dim

Everything was revealed

There he stood in the doorway

I heard the cows moo

And I was thinking to myself,

Did I step in some poo?

Then he picked up a saddle

And he showed me the horse

There were coyotes screaming in the night

It was a Texas night, of course

Welcome to the Motel Texas

Such a southern place (such a southern place)

Such a southern face

Not as much room as the Motel Texas

Not open this time this year (not open this time this year)

You can't find it here

His mind is old western-centric, he rides on the range

He's got a rally of buckaroos, that he calls friends

How they roundup the cow fields, all drenched in sweat

Some ride to remember, some ride to forget

So I called up the sheriff,

Please bring me my beer

He said, we haven't had that brand here since my son disappeared

And still those coyotes are screaming, far, far away

Wake you up in the middle of the night

Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Motel Texas

Such a southern place (such a southern place)

Such a southern face

They're roundin' it up at the Motel Texas

What a nice rodeo (what a nice rodeo), on the old town road

Mirrors in the bathroom

The coors light on tap

And he said, 'we are all cowboys here, you can count on that'

And in the sherrif's quarters

They gathered for a cookout

They roast boar, cow, and lake trout

And that's what our song is about

Last thing I remember

I was headin' for the door

I had to find the right way back to the place I'd been before

'Relax', said the custodian

'The doors are open now

You can leave but don't be a stranger

Don't let it hit you on the way out'

[unladylikc]

NAME!  ♡ livita ( aka livi or vivi-tan. )  HEIGHT!  ♡  5′2 NATIONALITY!  ♡ chinese canadian FAVORITE  FRUITS! ♡  lychee and mango, but in desserts, it would have to be apples and strawberries ( which i feel are ‘meh’ by themselves ) FAVORITE  SEASONS!  ♡  spring, winter, and fall FAVORITE  SCENTS!  ♡   the body odour my pupper gives off, herbal essence shampoos, matcha, cinnamon, and barbecued meat FAVORITE  ANIMALS!  ♡  ...DOES SAYING MY DOG COUNT? TEA  /  COFFEE  /  HOT  COCOA! ♡ oh god, do i really have to pick between tea and coffee? well then, i guess tea, because it makes me less thirstier than coffee. AVERAGE  HOURS  OF  SLEEP!  ♡   anywhere between 5-7 hours, usually, because nowadays, i always have to wake up earlier and take the dog to pee/poo, otl. WHEN  MY  BLOG  WAS  CREATED!  ♡  ...i’m too lazy to check my blog description atm, but i feel like i revamped this blog three years ago? before that, well... i can’t remember when EXACTLY i first started out roleplaying vivi, ahhhh. RANDOM   FACT!  ♡   i actually have an old deviantart account, featuring all my cringe-y af poetry and art i’ve done as an edgy teenager that i will never show you guys, because it’s... so bad, lmfao. FAVORITE  FOOD(S)!  ♡   BUTTER CHICKEN ( i blame the three indian restaurants nearby my house, lol ), matcha flavored desserts, apple flavored desserts, vietnamese ham, eggs, ramen, and softened/caramelized onions FAVORITE SHOWS!  ♡ Animated: TOO MANY TO COUNT. FAVORITE SHOWS!  ♡  Life Action: uh... ‘The Marvelous Life of Mrs. Maisel’, because that’s the show i’ve been watching a lot with my older sister.  FAVORITE  MOVIE!  ♡  I DON’T HAVE ONE... or at least any that particularly stand out. FAVORITE  VINE!  ♡  ahdjksahjdhsajkdsanzah ...i actually don’t have one since i don’t watch vines as frequently as i would like! SEXUALITY!  ♡  pansexual PRONOUNS!  ♡  she/her FAVORITE  BOOK  SERIES!  ♡  Rick Riordan’s ‘Percy Jackson’ series FAVORITE  VIDEO  GAMES! ♡  Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel, Fairy Fencer F, Fire Emblem Awakening, Corpse Party ( excluding Blood Drive ), Fire Emblem Awakening FAVORITE  BANDS!  ♡  S.H.E, The Birthday Massacre, Evanescence, Krewella, and To Be Juliet’s Secret FAVORITE  SUBJECT!  ♡  uhhhh... creative writing. GUYS   OR   GIRLS!  ♡ character wise, i notice i tend to have more of a bias towards males, but irl, i don’t have a preference at all. LAST  TIME  I  CRIED! ♡  on tuesday, i think! it’s the lamest thing, but i always tend to cry during heated arguments ;; WHAT  I  SHOULD  BE  DOING!  ♡  washing the dishes or taking a shower. FAVORITE  FANDOM! ♡  tbh, of all the fandoms i had been in, the fire emblem rpc was the best and the least obscure, even if there are bunch of bad apples i personally didn’t like from there.

tagged by: @cielcrd and @heartquestion ( thank you very much for tagging me!! this was very fun to fill out. )

tagging: @sorrcerii ;; @vantagx ;; @bondchained ;; @spectrumbound ;; @sakuraari ;; @gebeleixis ;; @noxloved ;; @garudynekunai ;; @collectiveillusion ;; @delightful-envy ;; @jaxyu aaaaaand anyone else who may want to!

[thehungrykat1]

AzuThai Restaurant Launches New Thai Menu

AzuThai Restaurant recently launched its new menu featuring well-loved Thai classics and exciting new dishes for its loyal customers. Established in 2008, AzuThai has been an institution in the Makati area, with guests and families coming back for its authentic, home-style Thai cuisine even with all the new Thai restaurants that have opened in the city.

The restaurant is managed by Chef J Gamboa and Malu Gamboa-Lindo, the same family that owns and runs the popular Cirkulo, MilkyWay and Tsukiji restaurants which are all housed in the same MilkyWay building. The Hungry Kat was invited last week to sample some of these authentic Thai dishes and it was my first time back here at AzuThai since the pandemic started.

Azuthai is open Mondays to Sundays for lunch and dinner. In 2017, AzuThai was the first restaurant in the Philippines to receive the prestigious Thai SELECT Award from the Thailand Ministry of Commerce for its authentic Thai cuisine prepared with Thai ingredients and recipes.

The dining room at AzuThai comes with a very homey and relaxed ambiance. The gardens outside add to the charming and laid-back vibe where you can enjoy a well-prepared lunch without the distractions of the busy city.

They also have private dining rooms which can house 8 to 30 guests. Our small lunch group got together that afternoon to rediscover the wonderful and authentic Thai dishes prepared by Executive Chef Watee from Bangkok, Thailand.

We started with some traditional Thai beverages such as the Thai Iced Tea (P150) and the Lemongrass Iced Tea (P150). Both were refreshing but I preferred the Thai Iced Tea with its milky tea blend.

Appetizers were served on the table starting with the Larb Moo (P595) or Crispy Minced Pork Salad with Chili. This doesn’t look like any salad I’ve seen before and I’m always happy whenever there’s more meat than vegetables on a salad. The dish is then topped with roasted rice powder and Kaffir lime leaves.

Next is a more familiar appetizer, the Satay Gai (P395). These are grilled skewered chicken served with peanut sauce and cucumber achar. The chicken is wonderfully grilled resulting in tender and smoky barbecue sticks.

I recommend ordering the Tod Man Goong (P595) for any occasion. This Crispy Fried Shrimp Cake comes with a sweet spicy dipping sauce and I’m sure kids and adults alike will love this crispy starter.

One of my favorites that afternoon was the classic Tom Yum Goong (P695). This is the traditional Hot and Sour Prawn Soup that Thailand is known for and AzuThai arguably serves the best one in the city. This hearty broth is prepared with tomatoes, mushrooms, lemongrass, Kaffir leaves and coriander to create a wonderful masterpiece.

It comes with big pieces of lovely prawns so I really enjoyed this soup. Thailand is known for making everything spicy, but the broth had the perfect balance of flavors and spiciness.

There’s also the Kai Jeaw Poo (P895) or Crab Omelet with super lump crabmeat, eggs, onions, soy sauce and served with a chili dipping sauce. This would a good dish for those early brunch get togethers.

Now let’s try some of the main courses at AzuThai. The Pla Naeng Ma Naw (P1695) is a steamed whole boneless apahap prepared with lime, fish sauce, garlic, coriander, chili. It’s a great seafood course that can be shared by the entire family.

You can’t go to AzuThai without ordering one of their curries. The Gaeng Hang Lay (P895) is a northern style pork curry made with pork belly, garlic, peanuts, shallots and hang lay curry. This is a thick curry that really goes well on top of rice.

On the other hand, the Gaeng Pet Phad Yang (P695) is a Roast Duck Red Curry made with tomatoes, pineapple, and coconut milk. This one is a bit lighter and comes with a different flavor and texture from the duck meat.

To go along with your curries, the Khao Pad Poo (P795) or Crab Fried Rice is a good option with crabmeat, eggs, oyster sauce, and spring onions.

Another Thai classic that I usually order is the Pad Thai Gai (P595) which is a stir-fried rice noodle dish prepared with chicken, egg, spring onions, and peanuts.

For desserts, we tried the Thai Style Halo Halo with Fresh Coconut Milk (P295) which is a cool and refreshing ending to our meals, but I really loved the Mango Sticky Rice Ice Cream Sundae (P350) with its fresh mango over warm sticky rice topped with homemade mango ice cream, coconut cream, and toasted rice.

Guests can even order desserts from MilkyWay like the popular Ginumis. AzuThai is also available for take-out and delivery from Tuesdays to Sundays with free delivery for orders of P2500 and above to Rockwell, Dasma, Forbes, Sanlo, Legaspi and Salcedo Villages. We would like to thank our hosts Chef J Gamboa and Malu Gamboa-Lindo for sharing with us their new exciting menu at AzuThai Restaurant.

AzuThai Restaurant

MilkyWay Building, 900 Arnaiz Ave., corner Paseo de Roxas, Makati City

8817-6252 / 8813-0671 / (0927) 136-1306

http://www.azuthai.com

www.facebook.com/azuthairestaurant

Instragram: @azuthai_makati