#polyam s5

[qevillous]

lovesick

[chillingandtoxic]

Pardon the silence, care for some gay squids and more?

[cm2tfemotd]

Todays Canon Male to Transfem Headcanon is Skull from the Splatoon Manga! lilac is a semi-verbal aro polyam transfem that uses she/purple/charger/lilac! also in a poly qppr with every member of s5 and sees goggles as a little sister!

[s-blast92]

whoever is polyam⭐️s5 in the coroika pool.... i got ban hammered for 10 minutes i so sowwy

[leverage-ot3]

rundown job (s5) thee polyam ep of all eps

the long goodbye job (s5) thee polyam ep of all eps part 2

experimental job (s4) best for parker x hardison and hardison x eliot

grave danger job (s4) best for parker x hardison and hardison x eliot

long way down job (s4) best for parker x hardison and parker x eliot, has some good hardison x eliot scenes too

the gone fishing job (s3) best for hardison x eliot with some pardison sprinkled in

the big bang job (s3) best for all individual pairings, they all have moments to shine! big development for pardison in this ep

the boys night out job (s4) best for parker x hardison and hardison x eliot

the french connection job (s5) best for parker x eliot and hardison x eliot. can't remember off the top of my head how much pardison is in it

the boost job (s3) best for parker x hardison and some parker x eliot shenanigans

the van gogh job (s4) best for parker x hardison but has some hardison x eliot moments too

the queen's gambit job (s4) best for parker x hardison with some hardison x eliot moments (a hug!)

the future job (s2) best for parker angst and her boys looking out for her

this list is mostly accurately ranked, but after the first five or so there is more wiggle room on ot3ness depending on which dynamics are more prominent

edit: I was stupid and half paying attention with work and managed to forget the long goodbye job HOW COULD I FORGET THAT

Quick best ot3 episode of leverage

[purpleyin]

DCTV moodboards: Westhallen Christmas

Eddie and Iris have the snuggly socks in the top right - none for Barry because he’s already toasty warm without socks or the fire the other two like at this time of year. Barry is, however, determined to knit them matching sweaters and uses his speed to practice knitting a lot without them finding out (and lots of unraveling anything that doesn’t make the cut) before he makes the ones he considers giftable for their set to wear together. Luckily Eddie’s a dab hand at Christmas cookies - with Iris helping do the decorations for them only - though the cookies disappear pretty quick around Barry so they have to do big batches (and sneakily hide just a few away so they last a bit longer).

[ostensiblyarticulate]

Edit August 2023

Today on stuff I keep meaning to do, an updated writing post to pin, now with added Actually Everything. My intent is just to edit this for updates instead of making new posts; we’ll see how that goes.

Things I Have Written:

She-Ra (my beloved)

Catradora & Best Friends Squad hijinks, front to finish. Including 100+k words of post-canon stories focusing on the Best Friends Squad as they have space adventures (The Squad Goes Intergalactic), the super short one about predestination (Remade all the time), the also super short one where catradora doesn’t get married (Only Constant), the much longer one I wrote with @fuhadeza​ where catradora gets married a lot (The Thing About Forever), the self-indulgent one about fiber art (Twist; talk to me about spinning!), and the one where they’re Arthurian Knights that’s secretly an ode to the whole thing Tristram/Lamorak have going on (I will do you gentleness).

Riverdale (Rest In Chaos) 

Join me in the descent from Jughead’s impenetrably pretentious s5 polyam-subtext-but-textually-bughead-because-Jughead’s-unreliable introspection that you should skip unless you’re up for an endurance challenge (Another Love Song for Betty Cooper) to Betty’s much more succinct and readable adventures in being aromantic but cool to make out with him (An Antonym for Serenade) to wait actually I think I’m going all in on the Betty/Archie/Veronica/Jughead polyamory (alternative solutions for gordian knots) to cool they have superpowers but only Betty/Veronica/Archie get to quite literally come (In then out, and other ways to breathe) to POP THE CHAMPAGNE THE OT4 IS CANON let’s get Jughead back in there, yeah he’s confused about it too (In which Reggie Mantle is not invited to the polycule). Somewhere in there I also wrote a completely canon compliant character study of the Biblical Angel Raphael (Shall the water not remember).

Star Wars (is a fun time)

Weird little philosophical things about Count Dooku’s Qui-Gon Jinn guilt (this thing of darkness), Ezra Bridger & Leia Organa almost hooking up as reckless teens in the least sexy encounter ever and never talking about it ever again (Requiem for a Misspent Youth), Hera Syndulla & Luke Skywalker talking because I think they should talk (They talk about Jedi), and the uncomfortable generational angst that just kind of lives between Luke Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano (Chiasmus).

Stranger Things (is also here)

Gets its own section because I have two more I’ll be super sad if I never finish. Currently two Steve fics (the king is dead, Steve Harrington is Having a Crisis Today) and one Robin fic (Party Plan) in which everyone assumes everyone else is straight, everyone is wrong, and it leads to silliness with a side of feelings. Very, very robust drafts of the Nancy and Eddie fic very much continue to exist in my drafts and oh boy would I love to ffs finish them.

Other

Midsummer Night’s Dream ot4 shenanigans (four bosoms and one troth), a non-linear Arcane fic about CaitVi (Pins & String), a more important Arcane fic about spotlights ([that one saying about a nail]), the one about the fairy tale you’re more likely to know (about 12 Princesses, Dancing), the one about the fairy tale you’re less likely to know (Jorinde & Joringel; Fraxinella), concerning changelings (original work), concerning dragons (Game of Thrones/Harry Potter xover), concerning witches (The Squire’s Tales by Gerald Morris; the company of witches), concerning punching god(s) in the face (RWBY; if it had to perish twice), Harry Potter house sorting meta (Out of Sorts), a very silly Destiel fix-it fic (how soon unaccountable), an even sillier Teen Wolf fic ft. none of the characters anyone cares about (Brett Talbot’s Last Week in Beacon Hills), a character study of Mulan from the Once Upon A Time TV show (Tactical Advantage), gay shit about the Enchanted sequel for some reason (Some Enchanted Evening), and now there’s a HSMTMTS one about the inherent homoeroticism of being romantic rivals in two different sequential love triangles ([line from I Don’t Dance here])

And of course all of it is on ao3 here. 

I could totally end the post here, in which case it would be reasonably sized, very informative, and in no way make any promises I cannot keep. But where’s the fun in that, so...

...Things In My Drafts Folder (She-Ra, unless indicated otherwise):

I have a lot of drafts, and I’m writing them very slowly. Turns out, it takes longer to write things when you are (a) busy and (b) hopping between ten drafts at the whim of your brain instead of focusing on just one. The good news is that, historically speaking, when I stick with a hobby for a full year it tends to mean it’s not going anywhere. So while I can’t promise I’ll end up finishing all of these, the highest chance is that I’ll finish a bunch. Just...slowly.

(Edit 4/16/22: just...SO slowly. And I’m gonna run ttrpg again now so like...the slowest. But the drafts all DO still exist.)(Edit to add 8/31/23: I still really do want to finish these bc I am extremely proud of them but like idk who knows when. Ttrpg is going great tho so like hmu to talk about arthurian roleplay I guess)

Most of these fics have titles already, but I’m vaguely and nonsensically superstitious about announcing them so formally so early. So I...won’t.

The one where Catra & Glimmer have a space adventure ft. all of Catra’s shitty bosses. (I started this draft last summer, forgot about it for most of the year, and then proceeded to write a ton for it two nights ago. So: case in point about this stuff getting written just slowly.)

Adora And Her Spaceship.

The highkey catradora romance amnesia fic where I name the chapters after poems because sometimes I get to be pretentious, as a treat.

The catradora au that’s mostly about dragons and a little about a bad pun.

The star trek voyager au. Yes, also catradora, it’s all catradora.

Possibly a seamista fic??

An arranged marriage au that’s so deeply and totally backburnered that I’m not even bolding it but which I want to mention here on the off chance that if I ever get around to finishing it I can look back from a decade in the future and tell my past self I told you so.

(not She-Ra) Another Supernatural fic - aka the one where I rewrite plots for a bunch of female characters, because that’s what I did while I binged that show but also dear goodness it needs so much editing

(not She-Ra) The one where Anakin Skywalker is a shitty teen force ghost.

(not She-Ra) I would like to finish the Stranger Things drafts a lot yeah. Same with a bunch of Arcane stuff.

In conclusion: sorry for the long post. Extra sorry if you are someone who follows me for non-writing/non-She-Ra reasons. If it helps, it’ll probably be a long time until I make another one. In the meantime, my writing tag continues to be #forsythiarising, and if I remember to I may make a series of posts about the titles of my existing fics bc I have a lot of meta and love titles a lot. As with most of all this: we shall see.

[maxbernini]

I do honestly believe Yara was meant to be a LI for somebody before jünglinge was out of the show. It just makes sense to me. In my opinion, watching the clues the show gave us, I think jünglinge's plan was either a) give a season to each girl of the cash queens and Isi was a character that would become important for Ava's bullying plot or b) Nora/Fatou/Ava and then Isi (after a proper redemption arc. So to me Yara was the LI for either Ava, Mailin or Isi but got thrown out by the new team.

i agree with all of this!!! i’ve always thought it’d be 3/4 cashqueens + isi too; i feel like the new gen mains were going to address things the original gen had been criticised for not handling well or even at all (matteo’s mental illness with nora; mia’s bisexuality & the lack of wlwoc with kieutou; trans narratives explored through a cis main’s LI > a trans character as the main) and that ava wasn’t intended as a sam/chris copy (and she def isn’t anyways) but like…sam was who the fandom wanted s5’s main to be, she was the girl squad member with the least amount of narrative focus etc, so ava as a main would put a black girl at the centre again. i feel like mailin would’ve had an ace coming out arc (that fan survey that mentioned asexuality), but not as a main; i can see it happening maybe in the bg of isi’s season? mailin going to that queer youth group with her? both of them learning to be better people & friends?? idk idk but huge agree on everything, especially yara!!

like…keeping her insta locked but still active is so suspicious?? she posts stories from parties and things and the other characters repost them to their own stories to remind us that yara’s active on insta. but why, if it’s locked?? it feels like a deliberate “keeping smth from the audience and a character” thing. in jen’s isra manifesto she talks about possibly both of them being muslim (and isra thus responding to s4 criticism), so maybe yara’s ig would’ve revealed that?? and/or something indicating she isn’t straight??

i would kill to know what jünglinge’s whole plan was 😑 ava and _huelk, yara, mailin, the instas (her & everyone breaking into the school + posting about it online a season after a plot about privilege involving breaking rules + posting it online lmao), zoefinn’s polyam plot…ugh

[qevillous]

and i was late for tumblr s5 day im literally Fake hey guys

[chillingandtoxic]

you’d never believe it, but I’m ALSO an avid s5 enjoyer

[dylanobrienisbatman]

For the ship thing #15 and #18 (I'm SUPER curious about 15)

Ohhhh okay... okay... lets see lol

15. Fave Poly Ship

Augh i feel like I have so many, but my fave lately was probably the Polyam Belter Fam from The Expanse!!! Not only is it a canon polycule, but is a canon polycule of SPACE PIRATES!!!! I loved that the show was completely unapologetic about their relationship, and that the show runners were clear about the type of dynamic they had. They emphasised that these people don't just work together, they live together, on these ships, and they are a family in every sense of the word. They just also happen to be a polycule of super hot space pirates to boot. I also really loved that they were allowed to have conflict between them by the end of s5, and that it didn't revolve around jealousy or anything to do with their actual relationship. The fact that they sort of split into two parts at the end of the season was so sad, but it was sad and not annoying because it was an earned conflict, and it didn't negate the love these people had for each other. In fact, you felt the love even more when they decided to leave, because you could feel it breaking all of their hearts. Super excited for what comes next for them!

18. Guilty Pleasure Ship

I'm not really sure about this one tbh. I don't have a ton of ships that are like, gross or 'bad' or anything. I don't really ship 'dark' ships, it's not really my thing, and I don't really feel 'bad' about any of the stuff I ship, so the only thing i can really think of is that I LOVE the chemistry between Lu and Valerio on Elite, and I like... half ship it and hate myself for it. They are half siblings, so it's absolutely incest, and its very very gross, but god if Jorge and Danna don't have the most insane, fire chemistry I've ever seen. I also liked the fact that, even though it was totally gross and they should definitely NOT be doing it, it was framed as a way for them to feel loved in their childhood when they were both totally alone and given no support or love from their family. I also really loved that even after Valerio exposed their relationship and ended things with her, she still stood up for him and basically gave up her future and her family to protect him, because in their own little weird fucked up way he was the only person who had ever actually loved Lu and been there for her. So it's a weird mix of like, loving their chemistry, understanding the way they came to be in the totally fucked up relationship they're in and feeling a lot of sympathy for them, loving the support and care and love they have for each other, and also being completely grossed out with myself for kind of shipping an incest ship. This is my great shame, y'all.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

F, M, & V for the fic asks?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 

so here’s a thing from “turning saints into the sea” :

“Well, I never figured I’d be thoroughly kissed by Nate Archibald,” Dan points out. He takes another overly generous gulp of the alcohol, misses where his mouth is, spills a fair amount on his shirt.

Serena, in her defence, doesn’t ogle him, she just gives him a look and grins. “Do you want me to get you an extra shirt? I definitely have a few men’s shirts. I might even have yours.”

“Why do you…” Dan begins, and then falters, wondering if he really wants to know the answer to that.

“You know me,” Serena says lightly. “I break men’s hearts, I steal men’s shirts.”

Dan laughs, and Serena beams back.

“Come on,” she says, taking Dan’s hand, pulling him up the narrow stairs attached to the kitchen. “And don’t think you’ve gotten off easy. Talk to me.”

honestly? i am very proud of ALL the dialogue in this one. i was going to copy paste the dan/nate conversation but that has a pretty major spoiler for this fic, and this fic has like... One plot point? so i didn’t want to spoil it, haha. i like this one because i love dan and serena, and anyone who’s followed me for like, even fifteen minutes knows how badly i just wanted them to be good friends/ exes who get along! this is the sort of dynamic i wanted them to have in the long run, like, joking about each other’s current partners or crushes or experiences with no bitterness, and basically just. being able to talk to each other about stuff. 

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?  

uhh, i’m actively working on a jenny/blair fic that’s all abt character growth and redemption stuff, so like.. what a healthy relationship for the two of them would entail! it’s post series but also pre-finale, it takes place during a period of time when dan and serena are engaged but not married, and blair and chuck are, and explores stuff like nate’s canon ending (which i of course save him from, i don’t want him to be alone, he’s baby) and chuck being abusive and derena being weddingly incompatible. idk if it’s back burnery stuff because it’s very much a priority, but also, due to the nature of themes im trying to explore, it’s not a fic i can sit down and focus on and write at one go - i need to take breaks from it and work on it only when im in a specific headspace. blah.

uh, i also want to work on this canon compliant/ dan is not gossip girl fic. like, an entirely canon compliant fic in which he’s not gossip girl. “but ivy,” you may ask. “he said he was gossip girl in canon, why did he do that and what for?” the short answer is ‘he lied’. the long answer and the explanation will be the fic. i have a whole thing planned out for serena here! 

oh and then there’s this. it started out as a joke, but i am so going to write it, eventually. i mean. just look at those tags.

one of these days i will actually write some deep character study / meta that focuses around nate, because i think the world needs that and i think nate deserves it. something that works how ‘for blue skies’ by andsmile explored serena as a character through the plot and her decisions and conflicts - that’s all i know about the direction it will take. i have no idea where it’ll go or how i will navigate it, or who i will write him with. im hoping all that will fall into place later.

speaking of nate! i have a beautiful enemies to lovers au planned for dan and nate. it’s very, uh. i don’t know how to describe it, but the premise is that in like, 8th grade, they’re assigned to work together as partners on some assignment, and they totally get off on the wrong foot. and they both resent each other. and then working through the fact that both of them thinks the other’s life is perfect / that the other has the thing that they really want, and them eventually learning more about each other and realising that their misconceptions ARE, in fact misconceptions. idk. i just want to write nate being a mean little man. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

honestly? i have no idea, this question is one of the few that i was just like... *blinks*. but im thinking probably  be my heater, be my lover by margottenenbaum, mostly because it’s incomplete and it hurt me, how it ends! if i actually got a chance to finish this i don’t know what exactly i’d do; given everything that’s happened in this fic so far, a healthy nate/dan/serena polyam relationship doesn’t feel particularly possible, towards the end. i think the happiest ending would be serena sorting herself out, possibly going on the run with carter baizen and then later on having this moment of clarity where she goes “oh, i hurt them both really badly.” or something. (the serena characterisation in this fic felt really similar to s5 serena characterisation, and i have always felt like there’s a lot that can be fleshed out over there? serena’s not as easily prone to jealousy as blair, i feel. but as someone else was saying on LJ, she’s had so few people who were truly hers, she can be possessive without realising it. i think that’s part of why she’s so against dan/blair at the beginning - like, they are her people. they aren’t supposed to belong with each other. i dunno.) 

i am physically incapable of keeping things brief, it would appear.  uh.... whoops?

[myrmidryad]

Tagged by @lorraineblack90! Thank you! 😘

Three ships in any order: Well right now Michael and Alex from Roswell New Mexico are my primary OTP. It’s uhhhh kind of all-consuming, but I love them, and I love their messy history and I’m always down to clown for a soulmate story.

Enjolras/Grantaire from Les Mis are the ultimate opposites attract. It’s about the symbolism. It’s about the iconic lines that sum them up - no one loves the light like the blind man, the toad who loves to watch the eagle fly, all of that. It’s about the constant battle between belief and cynicism. They die holding hands! It doesn’t get much more tragic and romantic than that!!!

And I was going to finish off with Arthur/Merlin but actually I’m gonna go for Alex/Michael/Maria, also from RNM, because they’re who I’m writing fic for atm and I’m enjoying it a whole bunch! I just want everyone involved to be happy! And I love a polyam ship, and I love all the characters involved, and it just makes me happy.

Last song: Helpless from Hamilton. I just woke up with Satisfied in my head this morning and couldn’t quite remember how Helpless went, so I needed to remind myself.

Last movie: Midsommar. So glad I finally got round to watching it, and almost on Midsummer itself, which is neat. I love Florence Pugh, and I loved how pretty the film was. I’ve never been so keen for a boyfriend to die. But WOW that is a terrifying and fucked up cult this poor woman’s just been dragged into, holy shit.

Currently reading: The Old Ways by Robert Macfarlane. I love a non-fiction nature book.

Currently watching: I’m on S5 of Leverage, nearly done! I’m also watching the latest season of Queer Eye, I need to keep going with Hollywood at some point, and I’m watching the latest seasons of Ambulance and Celebrity Gogglebox as the episodes are released. I also need to keep going with Dark, and get back to Black Sails at some point.

Currently consuming: Just had spaghetti carbonara for lunch, I’m drinking a lot of water because it’s asscrack hot atm, and tea throughout the day too.

Food I’m craving right now: More of the green Thai soup my housemate made for last night’s dinner. I’ll have the leftovers of that for dinner tonight, and I can’t wait because it’s fucking delicious.

I’m not gonna tag anyone but if you want to do this, do it! It’s fun!

[pinkletterday]

Writer's Year In Review

This year has been a revelation. I went from deeply, irrevocably believing I can't write fiction at all to knowing that I'm actually pretty good at it!

It's given me the confidence to find work as a freelance writer and editor in real life, after years of unemployment and anxious paralysis resulting from chronic illness and trauma. A lot of other factors also helped but the fic writing played a huge role in getting my shit together.

General Fic Stats:

Word Count on AO3: 92284

Fics posted to AO3: 23

Favourite Fic:

Kiss It Better (Westallen).This fic is my baby. I love little Iris and little Barry in it so much, the hurt and confusion in each other they attempted to heal, how that healing carried into their adult love and family. It will always and always be my favourite thing I have ever written. Wee!stallen is my jam, and the reason I ship them so damn hard.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). Ngl, I love this for the sheer amount of truly gratifying comments. Every single one of them have been emotional and flaily. It all makes me feel like I may have finally levelled up. Hallelujah. xD

Funniest Fic:

The Care and Feeding (Queenwestallen). This is my ultimate OT3. This fic, written as a list and discussion is 95% humour and contains some of my best banter and (I feel) characterization. An element I'm really proud of is how I managed to center and include all their important non-romantic relationships in their conversations. Iris's boisterous female friends, Oliver's friends, Cisco and Caitlin's snarky commentary all shoehorned themselves into the list with hilarious and wholesome results. 

It's not a popular OT3 but I feel like it's a good first attempt to drag this ship to water. xD

Cutest Fic:

Dancing Queen (Olivarry). Even after a year this contiues to be the fic with the highest kudos ratio (except for the more recent one) and the second most bookmarked. I love getting comments on this because they are all some variation of "my teeth hurt. I have diabetes!" xD Well, I did build it around a rainbow sprinkle icing sugar donut, but there is a significant dollop of angst there in the middle. A flangst donut.

Your Vigil In My Keeping (Westallen). This fic has less than 200 hits but has the highest kudos ratio of all. I guess kid fic isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Wee!stallen is cute af yo. I headcanon the origins of Barry and Iris's steadfast partnership in this story, where her faith and belief in him is as strong as his protectiveness of her, all tied up in the language and innocence of children.

Kinkiest Fic:

WA Smut and Kink Collection. I literally just posted this yesterday lol. So far it's just a face-sitting short, but I have quite a few hard and soft kinks lined up. Westallen needs more hard smut tbh, and they have such a unique powerfully loving dynamic that every kink I'm writing has required me to come at it a little bit sideways with a whole lot of emotional focus.

Saddest Fic:

Three fics I can't choose from.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). This is basically Iris's grief and fear in a raging tempest, and it's strongly implied that the future Nora has warned them of will come to pass regardless of what they do. The fact is that there already is and will be a timeline where Iris loses Barry, just as there must be one where she won't, because that is the nature of potentiality. 

The Paradigm of Uncertainty (Westallen). This was a drabble almost, that ruminates on the probability that speedsters do not erase timelines but abandon them, along those versions of their loved ones. It's as @rkwago's brilliant comment says: "Iris hurts in so many weird, cosmic ways that her life is almost an eldritch horror house," which is the most perfect description ever of what it means to be a time traveller's wife.

The Universal Constant (Gen, background WA). A lot of people find the way Barry goes off on Joe cathartic in this fic, and so do I. But it's not so simple. I don't think Joe was wrong to form the views he did, or that anyone was in the wrong really. As @sophiainspace pointed out, it's a mediation of grief and love, their parallels and continuations between parents and children and lovers. The fact that it takes Henry's death for Barry to find the adult language to articulate to Joe why he will always believe in his father's innocence is a tragedy that cuts three ways.

(This fic is also the reason I have a folder in my drive marked "how to get away with murder" and probably a likely reason to get me arrested one day. xD)

Most Popular Fic:

Strangers In The Cold (Coldflash). The Coldflash fandom is a joy to feed. This was my first smut fic which was preceded by an entire chapter of banter about nothing in particular (except it ended up establishing a background that gave birth to the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam series) And holy wow, for a newbie writer, the response has been amazing. Looking back, I wince at a lot of writing mistakes and its undeniably rough, but it really bolstered my confidence.

(I feel a little guilty that all my other CF stories are still in my WiP folder while I update the polyam series at snail's pace.)

The Shape of Us (Westallen). I wrote this on tumblr half-asleep one night, half as a rambly headcanon...and woke up to literally one hundred freaking notes. What the hell. Now at over 260, it's the most popular fic I've ever posted on tumblr.

I never consciously intended it to be a body-positivity fic but apparently women really relate to the insecurities of growing older and watching our bodies change with marriage, children and the sheer hectic pace of life. Even my non-fandom friends reblogged it simply for its representation of "real women". Barry's response is my own wish fulfillment fantasy; the sort of total acceptance and validation that we wish we could hear it the times we can't find it in ourselves. In light of the virulent body-shaming Candice Patton has been subjected to ever since she was revealed to have gained a fuller figure in S5, I'm very glad to have written it.

Least Popular Fic:

Carry On (Gen) This character study of Oliver Queen only has 135 hits a year after posting, which is par for the course with gen. But has a solid 12% kudos ratio, which means it's probably as good as I think it is. It's one of my favourite and easiest fics I have ever written.

Love Me Like You Do (Olivarry) Lordy, if my first Coldflash smut filled me with confidence, my first Olivarry smutfic all but ruined it. I struggled with it for a long time, unlike SitC, which I suppose shows in the over-descriptions. I got carried away with the quipping and I guess Barry topping at all is really not popular with slash fans?

Still, I'm honestly toying with the idea of deleting and rewriting it. At least it was a learning experience - don't write smut unless it makes you feel horny yourself.  

Most Challenging Fic:

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). I think the reason stories you knock off in two hours are instantly popular while the ones you slaved over for weeks barely get any attention is because the process is reflected in the ease of reading. But this one is an exception. It was an absolute monster, taking three weeks and several revisions to wrestle into submission - and it paid off in spades!  Going by the response, I seem to have achieved the wow factor I was going for.

My only regret is that I posted it on tumblr before the last revision that finally made it work, so that too many readers saw the lacklustre version rather than the polished one.

Honorable Mention:

A Stitch In Time (Olivarry for now, eventual Queenwestallen) Baby's first multi-chapter! Admittedly chapters 3 and 4 have been languishing in my drive for a few months now and this thing has 100% more deleted scenes and outtakes posted to my tumblr than the actual story on AO3. But I'm so proud of it! I learned to write action scenes because of it, how to write climaxes, dream sequences, news articles and tell a story in several different formats. It made me rediscover my empathy for Felicity and write her as a PoV character, think deeply on Laurel Lance's losses and give voice to her struggles, and explore how a real friendship and understanding could evolve between Oliver and Iris out of their mutual love for Barry. (Centering female characters within manpain narratives, ftw! Otoh, I centered Iris so much it veered off the Olivarry rails into Queenwestallen territory on its own)

There is so much meaty conflict and delicious looming disaster in this story that I'm determined going to keep at it, even if slow and steady. If only to bring the light of Barry/Iris/Oliver into the world. xD

Holding On (Olivarry). This real-world disability AU deals with chronic and mental illness and the precariousness and personal demons of that reality. I tore out the rawest parts of my life for this fic and put them on display so that I couldn't bear to show it to anyone for a year after it was written.

I'm very glad I did finally brush it off and put it up because it has struck a chord with so many people, especially other Spoonies. The low number of hits on a fic that deals in hurt/comfort rather stings, as I can't help but think the disinterest is because of the "disability" and "neurodivergence" tags. But I still think it's one of the best things I've written and one I'll always be proudest of.

General Reflections:

Things I've learned over the past year of writing:

- Self-deprecation is not my friend. I need to be honest enough with myself to acknowledge when my writing is good, because either I self-validate and build confidence or I become a black hole of insecurity where validation goes to die. And if I think I'm a bit better than I actually am, it's not just okay but necessary to believe it.

- What I call writer's block is perfectionism, anxiety and physical and mental fatigue. If I don't eat, sleep, hydrate and acheive a relaxed mental state, I won't be able to write. 

- Momentum is more my friend than any amount of inspiration and motivation. Sitting my ass down and make it a habit to churn out X number of words a day, even bad writing, will do more to help me than polishing an idea to a high shine. 

- If I don't forgive myself for the stories I can't write I'll never write anything. I am doing this for free, to share the love and joy and therefore obligated to no one. 

- I'm capable of writing things I don't have the first idea how to write. My fingers on a keyboard can paint the picture my brain can't visualize. 

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I am going to make it a personal goal to write at least 15k words per month, learn to stick to a posting schedule where possible.  and end next year with an additional 150k words posted. 

To everyone who follows this blog, commented, reblogged and liked my posts - I see and remember and appreciate every one of you. You're the reason I feel seen and valued and why I am motivated to keep writing through all the difficulties life throws at me. <3<3<3

[lynfantasy]

Lotor?

(For this character ask challenge)OOF. Alright, prepare yourself for salt, because I absolutely love this character no matter what, and that is precisely why I am very mad at the official crew about him. (Though I swear this isn’t ALL salt.)

The last time I did this ask challenge, I answered these questions for Lotor here, but that was before season 5 even came out. Now…

(Putting this under a read-more because this is LONG – there’s two long playlists under the “song” section, and I added a ton of screenshots at the end.)

Favorite thing about them: I loved how complex and out-of-the-ordinary he was. He wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t a villain, and he wasn’t even a traditional antihero. He wasn’t good, but he was altruistic; he wasn’t bad, but he was willing to do things that no one else would. He was neutral, and he didn’t need to be redeemed into goodness. He certainly didn’t seem to have any reason to fall or rise – he already knew what he wanted and how he was going to get it, and both his motives and means were shockingly pure.And then…Least favorite thing about them: Season 6 just completely ruined him. That colony thing?? I’ve vented to many friends about this, and there’s a post I have half-written that I might put up sometime, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. The creators of the show said that they wanted him to be a morally gray character, but then they had had him commit a truly evil act? And he doesn’t even seem repentant for it? I just can’t forgive them for doing this to him. This wasn’t some “cool plot twist.” I’m not sitting here, thinking, “Wow, I really fell for that, didn’t I?” I don’t feel like Lotor betrayed me. I feel like the writers betrayed him and did him a disservice.Favorite line: “All I ask is that you judge me by my actions rather than your preconceptions of my race.” This line was just… wow.Also: “My father’s blood is not just in my veins. It’s also on my sword.” Damn.I also still very much love his opening speech in season 3, and a special shout-out goes to his speech in the beginning of season 6 until Sendak interrupted it.BrOTP: Mmmm, well, Team Sincline forever. In a better universe, they’re all still getting up to their own shenanigans together.I also still wish that Lotor and Keith had gotten a chance to bond. It could have been great.But let’s all take a moment to acknowledge what a great and supportive friendship Lotor and Shiro had in season 5. That was good. Good on you, (clone) Shiro.OTP: Lancelot. I can’t really explain why, but this is my favorite ship. In a close second place comes Polycline, the ship of Lotor and his generals all together in a romantic sense, which just warms my polyam-loving heart.As for what I would like to see in canon, well, I was pretty happy with Lotura, and I’m still holding out hope that they might have some dramatic redemptive reconciliation.NoTP: Eh, I don’t really do NoTPs. I can’t say I’m fond of Lotor/Throk, though.Random headcanon: I think Lotor’s ships are perfectly capable of making it through the Quantum Rift without being subjected to the time dilation effects. I also think that, on more than one occasion, Lotor has purposefully turned down the protection against time dilation because he can’t afford to take time off but he really needs a break, and what better way to accomplish that than to take a trip that will give him weeks or months to himself but will only cause him to miss about a week in regular time?Unpopular opinion:

FANWORK CONTENT CREATORS CAN STILL MAKE CONTENT WITH A SOFT CHARACTERIZATION FOR LOTOR. SHIPPERS CAN STILL SHIP LOTOR/PALADIN SHIPS. CANON SHOULD NEVER LIMIT CREATIVITY.

Song i associate with them: Hoo boy, I have not one but two playlists for him… Instead of linking a playlist, I’ll just list the songs for you all to find at your leisure, since everyone uses different music services (and honestly, I just pirate off of YouTube 99% of the time).

My “canon” playlist, in chronological order, is:

Natural by Imagine Dragons – I’m so glad this came out recently, because if there’s any singular theme song that fits Lotor in every canonical aspect, this is it.

Who We Are by Imagine Dragons – Team Sincline. Need I say more?

Best Day of My Life (minor key) by Chase Holfelder – If you only know this song in its major form, you might very well be wondering why it’s here, but Chase Holfelder’s minor key version has a very different tone to it, and I think it fits Lotor quite well for season 3.

Gold by Imagine Dragons – This works for his rise to power in season 3 and fall in season 4, as well as hinting at his eventual rise and fall again in 5 & 6 and that final snap at the end of 6. It could honestly go at the end, but I thought it fit best here, as the season 4 song.

Icarus by Bastille – I associate this song with both Keith and Lotor in seasons 3 & 4. Honestly, if you listen to the chorus, it sounds like them both at the end of season 4. Icarus (Lotor) is flying too close to the sun… Icarus (Keith) is flying towards an early grave.

Blame by Bastille – This isn’t a perfect fit, but it reminds me of Lotor’s pleading with the Paladins at the beginning of season 5 to not hand him over to Zarkon. Honestly, I sort of picture Lance as the one singing the scathing verses. There’s no room for you here.

I’m So Sorry by Imagine Dragons – This could also go anywhere, but I can picture this as a backdrop to Lotor’s final confrontation with Zarkon. It’s so scathing and sarcastic, except for the bridge. I imagine the bridge as being addressed to Lotor’s generals.

White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons – Canon Lotura. Just… just listen to it. It’s so tragic and fits them so well for season 6.

This Is Gospel -> Emperor’s New Clothes by Panic! At the Disco – Initially, I was going to put just Emperor’s New Clothes on here for Lotor’s breakdown in season 6, but I listened to these two back-to-back, and I thought that This is Gospel fits in a tragic way if you think of it as the sane part of Lotor’s mind trying to warn Allura, knowing that he cannot fight the corruption of Quintessence.

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing by Set It Off – …I mean, in light of season 6, how could I not include this one. The bridge is basically a summary of that final confrontation.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay – Initially, I had this as a song for season 4, but I couldn’t leave this playlist on such a bitter note. I like to picture that Lotor will eventually come out of the Quintessence field and, alone and without resources, will have to hide out somewhere and rethink a lot of things, and this song is perfect for that.

I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young – Following the thread of an eventual redemption from the previous song, I think this would suit a redeemed, post-s6 Lotor very well. It’s also simply a very bittersweet and beautiful song to end off on, and it stands in very strong contrast against Natural, the first song on the playlist.

My other playlist is for miscellaneous songs that don’t fit into the canon timeline and for ship songs. In no particular order:

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy – This is such a Lotor song, but it technically doesn’t fit canon, since he did become emperor. However, I’ve got an AU story that this fits perfectly, and I think it suits a lot of other Lotor-centric AUs I’ve seen. Besides, thematically, it really does fit Lotor pre-s5.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons – The meaning of this song is ambiguous, but if you interpret the “crown” here as literal, it could suit Lotor pretty well, especially in an AU where he refuses to rule.

Therapy by All Time Low – I think this would fit a human AU best, but it could work for any version of Lotor who is introspective about his own flaws and problems.

Battlefield (Meet Me on the Battlefield) by SVRCINA – I’m a little iffy on this one, but someone else recommended it to me as a Lotor ship song, and I do think it could fit a few different Lotor ships quite nicely. The song is primarily about revolution and altruism, both of which fit Lotor, and the romantic aspects would work well for a Lotor/paladin ship.

I Walk the Line by Halsey & Walking the Wire by Imagine Dragons – These two songs work well as two sides of the same coin. I particularly imagine them for Lancelot. Lotor sings I Walk the Line, talking about the difficulty of maintaining a balance between his relationship and his loyalties in the war but declaring that he will be true to Lance above all, and Lance sings the far more optimistic Walking the Wire, saying that although this balancing act is difficult, they will come out on top, together. It could theoretically work for another Lotor ship, but Walking the Wire is such a Lance song that I really picture it for the two of them.

Hold Me Tight or Don’t by Fall Out Boy – Funny story, I pictured this as a Sheith song first, but then @noirsongbird recommended it to me as a Lancelot song, and… yeah, it fits. It also specifically fits one of her (very good!) fanfics, so that’s cool.

King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men – Technically, this could sort of work for any Lotor/paladin ship, but I think it would work better for Keitor, Shotor, or Lancelot. It was recommended to me by @noirsongbird as a Lancelot song, and I have to agree that it fits them very well.

I Don’t Know Why by Imagine Dragons – Again, this could work for multiple Lotor/paladin ships, but I picture it for Lancelot. It’s a great forbidden love song, so it would suit a secret romance across battle lines quite nicely.

So… yeah. A lot of music. Sorry? I’m sure this isn’t even everything, haha.

Favorite picture of them: Oh gosh, how could I choose…

Like… damn.

But also…

He’s so cute and pretty??

I mean, just look at him.

For favorite fanworks, I’ve got to put this one up, of course (and please follow this link to the post for it and give it a like!):

This was a gift to me for my very recent 20th birthday by my amazing friend @honestlyprettychill (thank you again babe)!!

There’s a lot of other really good Lotor fanart out there. Check out @itsnotdoneyet and @invidiaesc for some great stuff.

Annnnd that’s it! Sorry this took so long. I hope I answered the questions to everyone’s satisfaction! I have an ask for Keith that I’ll work on next, but I don’t have any after that yet, so please feel free to send in more!

[cescalr]

1: give short descriptions of all your current WIPs; 7: what books have shaped the way you think about writing the most? why?

1; I actually can't do that, I've got 40 of the damn things :)))) this is fine. Um, okay. Short fire round of the ones I can currently recall;

marrige proposal ron/harry au, multiple time travel fics for teen wolf, one for the MCU and one for Merlin BBC. fleur/malia crossover fanfic. polyam based au fanfic for buffy circa s3. shield agent Stiles au. steo au in s5. claysmond soulmate fic. alternate sorting fic series year 2. spiderman ron total conversion AU. PlayerCharacter!Ron AU (Gamer!Fic like you used to see on FFN a lot.) Reading the books crossover fic, HP/Riordanverse/Supernatural. SPN/Buffy crossover fic, John = Xander's bio dad. Percy Rebels and Shit au co-written with viv. uhhhh others too- anyway-

7; hmm. i mean, likely the ones I read as a kid. you know, Harry Potter, Beast Quest, Chronicles of Narnia, His Dark Materials, The Graveyard Book, The Gift, Maximum Ride, Code Breakers, Books of Beginning, Riordan's works in the mythological revamping strain. hell, even My Sister the Vampire, Jinxed, The Mediator, and all that sort of thing, probably. Books I had to read for school, like The Last Samurai, and that one i keep forgetting the name of (Cosmic?) where the kid went to space and at the end of the book he was a little shorter than he'd been before he went up and it was like, something about his character arc being represented... i don't remember. I liked that one. But, I mean, I've read a lot of books. They all sort of blend together. Secret Garden was something I remember liking. But I don't know, I think... shaping the way I think of writing, I mean, that would require me to think of it in any particular way? I'm not a very - good writer in that my whole thing about is just... do it. Like, I just sit there and i type and words are on a page. I don't really think about it. It's kind of bad practise. I'm not very reflective as a rule, at least about fiction. Sure, there's probably more to the curtains being blue, but I don't always want to read into it, you know? Like, yeah, okay, maybe they represent, I don't know, a desire for freedom or something, but also maybe I just want to think the person who decorated the room thought they were pretty. And that thinking they were pretty isn't any deeper, doesn't have any philosophical roots - just a colour preference. I like symbolism and parallels and themes and all that. But it can get kind of exhausting sometimes when I just want to read a story. The way I look at it is this; anyone can take anything from any book, regardless of intention. Half the time, the author doesn't have to do anything in particular, and people will still ascribe it specific meaning. No two interpretations are exactly the same unless you're just regurgitating what someone else has said. There's nuance, always, in the individual approach. At the same time, there are correct and incorrect ways of interpreting a book. A book that clearly states 'murder is bad' and then shows that murder is bad by having murder happen and then consequences occur should not in any way somehow make someone come away with the interpretation that they should go around committing murder all day because it's great, actually. Sometimes, there is an objective wrong or right answer. I don't believe in subjective reality; I drop an apple, it falls to the ground, and for everyone else the same happens. So, in turn, there must also be objective truths. In that sense, writing has objectively right and objectively wrong methods of application. But I don't think about it very much. I said I'm not very philosophical, and it's true - once we get to this point, my brain sort of checks out of the conversation. So, back to less existential things; part of writing for me is the feeling. The writing of a book doesn't work for me if it doesn't Flow Right. I think I might've learned some bad habits from what I've read, because people in my degree keep telling me I have run on sentences. And that's true, I'll admit. I tend not to like shorter ones; they don't feel right. Too short. Stilted. Weird. I only like to apply them in certain circumstances; when I want people to feel that same weird. short. stiltedness. That i feel when I read them. Full stops make me pause. It's a stop. A comma, on the other hand, feels freer, like you're just taking a moment to digest and then carry on. But what do I know? I'm a student. Half the time, I don't even read the course books.

I'm not a very good student.

But yeah. I guess I took away what I liked and what I disliked. I like certain kinds of formatting. I like certain kinds of structure. I like certain kinds of perspective. I like certain kinds of plots, characters, dynamics. And I use those things while avoiding what I found I couldn't get behind. In a way, I guess, it all made me think of writing in a very much 'to each his own' kind of way. One man's trash is another man's treasure, and all that. I can say a book is objectively bad, and still perfectly enjoyable for what it is. Just because you like something doesn't mean it's of good quality. It just means you like it.

Speaking of which, I was one of the people who read twilight. I don't like it anymore, obviously. But there's still a large print copy of breaking dawn on my bookshelf. Everything you read is a part of your literary history. It all has a certain influence. You can thank Doctor Who for my fondness for time travel, you can thank My Sister the Vampire and Twilight (and Young Dracula and The Vampire Diaries and My Babysitter the Vampire, but those are shows) for my fondness for the vampire archetype. And you can thank Books of Beginning and Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia and His Dark Materials and Jinxed and The Mediator for my fondness for fantasy. And you can thank Beast Quest for my love of friendship dynamics and my annoyance at shipping every m/f pair of friends that ever cross the page everyone seems to do even when they're not like that. And they're kids. You can also thank most of these being about kids read by me, as a kid/pre-teen/teen growing up to want more stories about adults doing the world saving because, damn do these kids suck at making good decisions. Maybe we shouldn't be putting the fate of the world on the shoulders of people without fully developed brains. Probably actually the worst idea we've had so far. Keys to the Kingdom and Chronicles of Narnia, in a roundabout way, is probably why I've got a certain worldbuilding/series project on the backburner. Abrahamic stuff, man. It's everywhere.

I do occasionally do some original fiction, these days, as a result of my degree and wanting to test the waters. I haven't posted anything there yet, but once the blog's done, @cesca-creates will be where my worldbuilding and stuff I don't want to publish is stored.

Another thing, I guess, is that I think stories should be shared. Always, forever, and to everyone. Archival is very important. Nothing should ever be lost to something as simple as time, especially nowadays with all the technology we've got knocking around.

(Speaking of which, once my degree is over, I'll be posting all the stuff I've written for it online... somewhere. We'll see where. One or two pieces may be omitted because i might want to make actual books out of them. But we'll see.)