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kikiiswashere · 1 month ago

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Children of Zaun - Chapter 34

An Understanding

Pairing: Silco/Fem!OC

Rating: Explicit

Story Warnings: Canon typical violence, drug use/dealing, dark themes, smut

Chapter Summary: Katya and Viktor reach an understanding. Mostly.

Word Count: 4k

CW: Reactive parenting tactics

Previous Chapter

The walk home was painfully quiet. Viktor’s short, uneven hobble led the way; Katya at his heel. He wondered if she wouldn’t walk with him because she was angry, or because she wanted to make sure he didn’t try to peel away and not go home.

Or both.

Part of him was glad she wasn’t at his side. He was angry, too. In fact, the pulsing rage in his body scared him. He’d never felt like this. It ached like a rotten tooth: pulpy and throbbing, impossible not to focus on.

Another piece of him - a softer part that appeared in the brief moments between the pulses of anger - wanted her to be there. Her presence at his side would’ve felt like a promise. A reassurance that while she was upset, she still loved him. That there would be something to go back to once they got over this hurdle.

But she stayed behind.

A couple times on the way home, Viktor peeked over his shoulder at her, pretending to stretch his neck. He had been hoping that he’d see her face tired and upset, but softening.

However, when he glanced back at her, Katya’s face was as hard and sharp as it’d been in the Doctor’s lab.

He swallowed the bile rising in his throat and pressed on.

When they reached their door, Viktor shuffled aside and let Katya stab the key into its lock like it had wronged her. She pushed the door open, and he limped inside.

“Go to your room.”

He froze; certain he’d misheard her. Turning, he watched her set his boat down carefully before shrugging out of her coat. Her furious eyes looked back at him, sparking like the forge in Pok’s Parlor. Viktor’s face twisted. Fury pulling it one way, disgust tugging it another.

“You lied to me!”

“Go to your room!”

“Who were they? Who’s he?”

“Go.To.Your! Room!”

With each word, Katya advanced on him until she loomed over. As imposing and upsetting as the crows that gathered along the electrical and chem-cables that crisscrossed over the shaft of the Undercity.

A terribly youthful rage bubbled in Viktor’s chest. He badly wanted to yell ‘You’re not my mother!’ at her. And while it was true, it didn’t matter. He glared at her as angrily as he could before stomping off to his bedroom, trying to indent the floor with the foot of his crutch as he went.

When he got to his room, he used all his strength to slam the door shut. It banged in the jamb, and the wall around it shuddered. Viktor looked up, expecting to watch little spider-thread cracks form in the plaster around the doorframe. None did, and it incensed him. A great, feral need to slam his bedroom door again and again until the wall began to crumble clawed inside him. His skin pulled unbearably tight over his bones, and his limbs shook. The near-painful need to do something overwhelming him.

But there was nothing to do. He couldn’t actually keep slamming his door. Katya would stop him. He couldn’t throw his crutch, or beat his bedroom furniture with it. They couldn’t afford for him to damage his cane, nor replace broken things.

Instead, he stomped over to his bed, threw himself face down on it, and screamed.

When Viktor slammed his door, Katya felt it in her bones. They shook as much as the wall did, and it rattled the hot fury out of her. Her body sagged. She put her back to the wall (swearing she could feel an echo of her brother’s anger through the plaster) and slid to the floor. Staring at the toes of her boots, she wondered how things had gone so, so wrong.

Then, a long, muffled wail came from Viktor’s bedroom.

Katya twitched, body attempting to propel itself in his direction, but ultimately remained useless and seated.

He wouldn’t want to see her right now, anyway. Viktor did not tantrum often, even when he was young and such things were more expected; when he did, he pushed away and turned his back on any sort of companionship their papa or Katya offered him.

Katya would need to wait Viktor out.

When another cry swelled up on the tail of his last, Katya’s knees tucked into her chest, and she covered her face with her hands.

How had things gone so, so wrong?

She winced. In the black of her palms, that nasty little fear-creature reappeared, strutting and pretentious. She felt it waltz across her rib bones in a nasty told-you-so dance.

In gorging herself on her own singular-identity and desires, she’d lied to him. Kept him separate, and away. In part to keep him safe. But also, because she was selfish.

A small yip of a sob hiccuped in Katya’s chest.

She wasn’t sure how to fix this. Her mind strained to think after being wrung dry from stress. All she could hear in her head was that she had monumentally fucked up. She hurt her brother, and thus failed him. The life she’d been building outside of the one with him teetered precariously.

There was a knock at the door and Kat jumped.

Wiping her eyes, she staggered to her feet and peered through the peephole. Her heart gave a complicated twist.

She should’ve known Silco would trail behind her and Viktor. Most of her was grateful to see him on her step. Part of her wished he’d listened to her, and gone home.

Hands shaking, Kat unstrung the lock-chain and slipped out the door. Unwilling to put two, fully secured boards of wood between her and Viktor, she kept the front door slightly ajar.

“Hey,” Silco breathed, stepping closer. “Are you alright?”

His hand had begun to reach up, preparing to inspect the slight bruise starting to bloom across her cheek. Kat took it in hers before his fingertips could touch her.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly and lowered it. “Yes. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Silco swallowed and took another step closer. His free hand came up to rest on Kat’s hip, and she savored it. And wished he hadn’t. Everything felt so unbearably muddled. She let go of his hand, only to let both of hers rest lightly against his chest. It would feel so good to lean in, and just let him hold her for a moment.

So, she did.

Her hands fisted and she fell gracelessly into the shelter of him. Long arms twined around her back and held snugly. She felt his cheek mold over the crown of her head, and both their bodies loosened.

Before she could fully drift into his presence, Kat drew back, but kept her hands on his chest.

“Thank you for helping today.”

“Of course,” he quickly replied, hands shifting to wrap around her arms. His eyes flicked to the door behind her. “How is your brother?”

“Upset.” She sniffed and wiped her nose. Her jaw shuddered, then words tumbled out. “I don’t know what happened. How Viktor found that man. Why would he do something so dangerous? I’m afraid I’ve ruined everything. He’s so angry with me. What if he hates - “

“Kat, stop.”

Silco jostled her lightly. Kat gulped, and finally looked up at his face. He gazed at her intently. His thumbs massaged little circles against her biceps.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

Kat stared up at him. Feeling desperate and confused. She couldn’t decide if she wanted him to kiss her, or go away.

Silco’s expression sombered. “Maybe it is time to tell him.”

Panic tightened her ribcage, choking her lungs and stilling her heart.

“I can’t,” tumbled from her lips without much thought.

“Kat, when I tried to hide this from my mum - “

“It’s not the same, Silco. Enyd is an adult. And lives here. Viktor is a child, and spends most of his time in Piltover.”

“He would not give you away - “

“I know that!” Agitation was rising in her now, overtaking the panic. “Of course he wouldn’t. But if something were to happen, something to jeopardize his spot at school. Jeopardize his safety - “

Kat took a great shuddering breath and covered her face with her hands. Silco inched closer, his hands a heavy, grounding weight on her arms.

It felt like a lifetime ago that they’d stood before her apartment like this, loading a wounded Benzo up in a cart.

“He’s my responsibility, Silco,” she whispered, hands dropping. “I must keep him safe. I am being selfish.”

Silco’s attention zipped tight. His hold on her tensed, but he did not back away.

“You’re not - “

“But I am! I’m hurting him by keeping this from him.”

Silco’s temper sparked. “Then don’t! I understand you want to keep him safe. I understand he is your responsibility, bu -“

“It’s not just that.” Her hands came back up, hiding her face. As if not looking at him made this gross admission any easier. She took a shaky breath, bile rising in her throat. “I have not wanted to share this part of my life with him. I wanted it for me. Just for a little bit. My own life.” A small sob burst from her, spittle wetting the heels of her hands. “I’m such a monster.”

Silco ripped Kat’s hands away from her face, and held her wrists tightly. The look he fixed her with was not quite a glare, but it was close.

“You are not a monster.” He shook her for emphasis. Her eyes were wide, glossy pools of honey, sticky with unshed tears. “It is not wrong to want things for yourself, Kat. You know this.”

He knew it, too. Reveled in how she writhed on top of him chasing her pleasure without a second thought. Took pride in watching her grow bolder around Enforcers, taking up the space she deserved. How she had not backed down in the face of Will’s cowardice.

Kat looked up at him, watery eyes searching. She gnawed on her lower lip, and Silco’s eyes dipped to the motion before locking back onto hers. Her head gave a small nod as she slipped her wrists from his hold.

“I know,” she whispered, though neither were sure if she meant it. Her eyes dropped and she shrunk back. “I need to think.”

Silco’s insides went cold, and his hands twitched, stopping himself from reaching for her. The invisible cord he sensed between them twanged painfully. He fought to keep his face neutral as his mouth went dry.

Kat’s fingers laced together, and squeezed. She sighed and looked back up at Silco. Relief, timid and hopeful, flushed in his chest as she lifted on her toes, and chastely kissed him. He clenched his hands at his side, fighting the urge to pull her in. Wanting to kiss her deeper so the anxiety bubbling in his chest would quell.

She dropped back to the soles of her shoes, and repeated, “I need to think.”

Unease swelled again as Kat slipped behind her door and closed it.

Kat reset the lock-chain. Her forehead bumped against the cool doorframe, and she closed her eyes. She felt numb. And exhausted.

Wearily, Kat turned and saw that Viktor’s door was still closed. The room beyond was quiet. She couldn’t decide if that made her more nervous or settled. Her admission rang in her throat.

I have not wanted to share this part of my life with him. I wanted it for me. Just for a little bit. My own life.

The sentiment was quickly followed by a flash in her mind. How Viktor had stared down at her at the Oases. His face twisted in anger and hurt. He’d never looked at her like that. And it scared her; made her feel ashamed in the aftermath.

She shouldn’t have lied to him.

Not like this, anyway.

Legs stiff and wobbly, Kat stepped towards Viktor’s bedroom door. She leaned in and listened for a moment. The softest, little whimpers made it through the wood, and her heart cracked further. Tongue gluing itself to the roof of her mouth, cheeks growing preemptively warm, Kat knocked and let herself inside.

“Viktor?”

He was laying on his side, back to the door. His shoulders stiffened at her voice, and his legs pulled in toward his chest.

“Viktor,” she sighed. The doorknob creaked under her hand. “Viktor, I am sorry.”

His body didn’t soften. But his head did turn ever so slightly toward her voice.

There was a long, heavy silence that threatened to crush Kat where she stood. Even so, she waited.

Finally, Viktor croaked: “What’s going on?”

Kat bit the inside of her cheek, and slowly made her way into his room. She sat just on the foot of his mattress. Perched lightly like a nervous canary ready to take flight at any moment should she be batted away.

She opened her mouth, but the words floated out of her mind before they could form on her tongue. She owed him everything. But could not ask him to hold it all.

“I have friends who are part of the Children of Zaun, Viktor.”

He stilled, before wiping his nose and gingerly sitting up. He kept Kat at arm’s length. Eyes, red-rimmed, puffy, and cagey looked at her. His cheeks were splotchy, and his nose was chapping from being wiped repeatedly.

“Those were them?”

She nodded. “Some.”

“Are - are you in the Children?”

Kat hadn’t necessarily planned on devolving that information, but she stayed quiet for too long and her eyes flickered tellingly. Viktor swallowed, an audible crinkle in his throat, and the hurt on his face began to morph into fear.

“I am . . . on the periphery,” she finally said.

Not an outright lie. Since the airship crash, she had not been part of any altercation with Topside or Enforcers - something she would consider more direct. She’d just continued treating people and smuggling.

New tears began to well in his eyes. Viktor’s breath caught in his chest, and Kat saw the beginnings of a panic attack in him. Calmly, she scooted closer to him and laid a grounding hand on his leg.

“Big breath, Viktor.”

His shoulders hiked up as he sucked in air through his teeth. It left him in a spitty wheeze. Kat would’ve preferred to slip in behind Viktor and hold him to her chest. Like Silco had done for her months and months before, but she did not feel confident that such a gesture would soothe him.

Instead, she said: “One hand on your heart, the other on your belly.” He obeyed. “Good. Let your fingertips slip beneath your collar. Touch your skin. Good. Breathe again, focus on moving the hand on your belly.”

Viktor did so, closing his eyes and putting all his effort into breathing deep enough that the hand over his stomach moved outward. It was hard, being upset and having weaker lungs to begin with, but it worked eventually. Calming him enough so that he could look at his sister again and talk.

“Why?”

Kat felt the corners of her lips curl up ruefully. “Because we deserve better. You. Me. All of the Underground. Everyone who came before. And Everyone who comes after.”

“B-but what if you get hurt?”

Of its own volition, Kat’s body inched closer.

“I won’t.” Perhaps it was foolish to promise him such a thing, but she would not allow him to entertain anything else. “I do my job for the Cause: treating sick and wounded people. I am not putting myself in any direct line of fire. And I have people looking out for me.”

“Is that what was happening with that man coming in the middle of the night that one time?”

“Yes.”

“And where you’ve gone sometimes in the evenings?”

“Yes.”

“And when you promised to take me to the Oases a couple of weeks ago?”

Kat closed her eyes slowly, and then reopened them. “Yes.”

Viktor’s arms tired, and he let his hands drop into his lap.

“Your friends.” Kat nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The tears welled up again. This time too fat to stay balanced on his eyelids. They streamed silently down his cheeks. The quietness of it punched Kat in the gut.

She answered honestly. “Because I did not want you to carry such a burden. Especially when you are so often in Piltover. Because I was trying to protect you. I see now I have failed, and hurt you. I am sorry, Viktor.”

Her brother sniffed and wiped at his cheeks. “It - it felt like you were going away,” he sobbed. “Like - like you didn’t - “

He couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence, and Kat couldn’t bear to hear it. Finally, she closed the distance between them and dragged him into her arms. A joyful, relieved warmth filled her chest when he readily held her back.

She gripped tightly, and said into his neck, “I will always want you, Viktor.”

The boy cried and nodded, pressing himself firmly against her.

The embrace lasted a wonderfully long while. Kat was more than aware she’d only shared with him a half-truth. She would not tell him of her selfishness and resentment. Children can and will mistakenly make everything about themselves. And her shortcomings and trauma were not his to hold. They weren’t his fault.

Eventually, Viktor peeled himself enough out of Kat’s arms just to take a deeper breath. Her own hands came up, wiped his eyes, and petted his hair.

“Can I meet them?”

Kat shook her head before really thinking about it, and Viktor wilted.

“Not right now, anyway,” she rectified. “I don’t want you knowing their names. Should,” a breath, laden with reality, left her, “should something happen, I want you to have as little information as possible. You understand?”

Viktor’s eyes grew wide. He looked disappointed, but nodded in agreement. His hands fidgeted with a loose thread hanging off her vest.

“He called you ‘Kat.’ The one you said wasn’t following us.”

Kat’s lips thinned and the apples of her cheeks pinkened. “Like I said, they are my friends. And they are looking out for me. For us.”

Viktor dipped his chin. In the stretch of silence, his own shame creeped up on him. He sucked his lower lip between his teeth and shifted uncomfortably.

“I am sorry I hit you,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to.”

Kat hummed an ascent, then blinked. So lost in her own guilt she’d nearly forgotten about Viktor’s transgressions.

“Viktor, what were you doing today? Who was that man?”

His face turned the hue of a stoked coal as he averted his gaze.

“The Doctor. I am helping him with his research.”

Kat held him, but he felt a subtle undercurrent of protective anger beneath her skin.

“That day we were supposed to test my boat for the first time, and you had to go help your friend,” he mumbled, “I still went to the Oases. I met him there.” He winced as Kat stiffened. “I’m sorry.”

A heavy sigh blew through Kat’s nose. “That was very dangerous, Viktor.”

��I know. I’m sorry. Nothing happened.”

“Then you are lucky. But,” her fingertips guided his eyes back to hers, “you are not allowed to see him again. Nor venture off without my permission.”

Viktor’s heart sank, but he was too tired to fight. He nodded numbly before falling back against his sister’s chest.

The rest of the weekend was quiet. Brother and sister moved around each other carefully, but lovingly. Even though it felt stilted and awkward, Viktor could feel Kat’s presence more clearly. With her secrets laid bare, he saw her again. Her eyes clear, voice less distant, touches more grounded.

Her revelation still worried him. And he was feeling resistant about her instructions to stay away from the Doctor and Rio. As they sat together Sunday evening, Viktor’s back resting against Kat’s side, he pretended to read a book while he debated disobeying her. He could still sneak away during the week. But what if he got caught? What if the Doctor didn’t want him around anymore?

Kat’s fingers scratching his scalp pulled him from his thoughts.

“It is time for bed, Viktor.”

Closing his book, he grabbed his crutch and shifted off of the couch. They readied themselves for bed, brushing their teeth and washing their faces side-by-side at the bathroom sink. Viktor adjusted his brace for bed and donned his pajamas. He laid back on his pillow, and Kat drew the blanket up around him. She watched him for a moment, a strange pensiveness on her face.

“I am sorry, Viktor,” she whispered, eyes shining.

He swallowed, hands fidgeting beneath the covers.

He nodded. “I know. I’m sorry, too.”

This time, Kat’s chin dipped and a weak smile hooked her lips. She kissed his forehead, and wished him sweet dreams. The room slipped into black as she dimmed the lamp on his bedside table. He felt her lift off the bed, heard her footsteps shuffle to the door. He watched her slip out.

It was a bit before sleep finally found him.

Ivy stood a few feet in front of the checkgate as Katya and Viktor approached the next morning. She smiled at them, the corners of her mouth broadening when her eyes locked with Viktor’s.

“Good morning, Viktor.”

“Good morning, Miss Ivy.”

Viktor adjusted his hold on the boat tucked beneath his arm as Kat handed the aide his rucksack for the week. As had been the norm for the past several weeks, his sister said nothing to her. Knowing what he knew now, Viktor worried the inside of his cheek about it.

With her arms free, Kat wrapped them around her brother, mindful of the project in his free arm. With neither hand free to hold her back, Viktor pressed his head against her heart.

I’m sorry.

I know.

He looked up at her. “I love you.”

She smiled, and brushed a hand across his cheek. “I love you, too. Have a good week at school.”

Be careful.

I will be.

Viktor stepped away from her and turned toward the gate that was lifting. Ivy paused, lips tightening.

“Wait for me on the other side, Viktor,” she finally said.

He paused, looking confused. His eyes went between Ivy and his sister. Gripping his boat tighter, he nodded and stepped through the gate into Piltover.

Ivy turned to face Katya, who, now that Viktor was out of sight, looked at her like she was something stuck to the underside of her boot.

“What?” she spat. Her shoulders pinched, preparing for some other form of terrible news Piltover was so gleeful to distribute.

Ivy’s eyebrows curled upward and she carefully stepped toward Katya, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. Her eyes glanced to the guard hut, and back.

“I’m not your enemy, Katya.”

Katya’s brows dropped low and suspicious over her eyes. A frown pulled her mouth down. Ivy dared to step closer.

“I know there is much unrest and tension between Piltover and the Undercity. That certain peoples are demanding freedom from what they feel is an unjust leader. And perhaps there is a case for that.” Katya’s face softened infinitesimally, listening but unwilling to give the aide any quarter. “But, I want you to know that Viktor is safe with me. As are you. If,” her voice lowered, “if you or he need anything, I am here. I am not your enemy.”

Katya’s mind cramped, unsure if it should absorb or repel Ivy’s words. She seemed genuine. She’d never given any indication that she despised Viktor. Or her.

But she was still a Piltie.

Katya allowed her shoulders to drop an inch. An acknowledgement that she heard the other woman. The expression on her face shifted from one of contempt to something cold and distant, but not hateful.

She nodded, and walked back to Zaun.

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Coming Up Next: Silco leans on Vander's shoulder. Grayson pays The Last Drop a visit. Silco asks Katya what she needed to think about.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @pinkrose1422 @dreamyonahill @sand-sea-and-fable @truthandadare @altered-delta

#children of zaun #coz #arcane #arcane fanfic #viktor #young viktor #silco #young silco #orginal character #silco x oc #silco x katya #silkat

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