#pmmm oc reviews

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

Since I’m back, I’d love to also offer advice on character designs! And to help, I’m offering a huge discount on magical girl reference commissions!

Order via my Artistree and mention you saw my tumblr post (or DM me about it), and the full character reference will only be $10! This is a fully colored chibi reference of your character, front and back, with a reference of their weapon. I’ll also change out the alignment information under their name to be anything you want- birthday, gender, a quote, whatever!

Examples:

[leweebdepoche]

Horror magical girl with mind blowing twist plot ! （⊙ｏ⊙）

PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA (Magical girl/Drama/Psychology/Dark fantasy) 2011 - 12 episodes

Rating: 10/10

Completely different but still well anchored in the rules of magical girl, Puella Magi Madoka Magica is an anime that will not leave you indifferent. Lovers of stories playing on the contrast of genres, this anime is the pearl you were looking for!

Madoka is a mid-school girl of 13 years old who has had a quiet “normal” life so far, until the day she meets Homura. The appearance of the mysterious girl will completely turn her life upside down. Soon after that, she’ll notice something is wrong with Akemi, and she’ll discover the world of Puella Magi with her best friend. Both endings being one themselves, they will fight against witches at night while going to school during the day. Just an ordinary life for a magical girl. But soon enough, you will find yourself discovering what makes Madoka Magica so different from the other magical girls. The plot twist is just mind-blowing and the darkness lingering in the story will make you feel like you’re watching a horror series when you thought you went for a romantic comedy! And that feeling is just what makes you so amazed when watching this anime: you’ll need to watch it to the end to discover the real story which actually begins with the last episode, develops during all episodes backward until the first episode, and slowly realize that Madoka actually isn’t the real main character… Just a warning, but a rewatch will be needed right after!

Mixing time loops and time travel, friendship, supernatural and slight horror, Madoka Magica is a very unique anime not to be missed. If you are hesitating because you’re scared you’ll get bored by the magical girl aspect, then make it a chance to discover a new kind of the genre and jump into the world of Puella Magi! Go for the trip of 12 episodes to make you question life and the meaning of friendship! the journey is tough but it is completely worth it.

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

link if the image doesn’t appear

So this is my new OC! She’s supposed to be for this thingie I’m making called RonpaStuck! It’s basically a crossover with OC’s!

{SO im an idiot and didn’t read the tags first and thought this was a review request and was absolutely horrified!!}

Some basic info:

Name: Dokuso Hazado

Age: 16 years {s w e e p s p l e a s e}

Blood: Green {ok girl what shade}

Username: DespairKitty {nope. what is up with people not understanding format}

Weapon: Clawkind {sigh}

Dreamself: Derse

Godtier: Seer of Hope

Typing Style: …You…Tend…To…Be…Quiet… 

Hope or Despair?: Despair

Allies: Karkat, Nepata, Nagito, Kyouko, Aranea, Monokuma, Junko

Enemies: Vriska, Equius, Peko, Toko, Celestia, Meenah

{stop with these got dam cannon relationships, i swear i will TURN THIS CAR AROUND}

Personality: Is usually sweet and caring towards everyone, always telling everyone to stop fighting and get along. However, she has a dark side to her personality. She secrety loves the feeling of despair and is wiling to hurt herself and others to get that “high”, betraying her friends in the process. SHe has a habit of double-crossing everyone she meets, usually in the name of money or despair. she has a bit of an addictive personality, getting obsessed with anything she gets her hands on. So far, she has been addicted to sweets, sopor slime, gambling, pain, video games, and spending money. In her downtime, she enjoys scrolling thriugh social media while sipping faygo.

{Oh god, so she’s one of these mary sues. You aren’t special}

Backstory: Dokuso was born under mysterious circumstances. Rumours are that she was created from a ritualistic sacrifice under a full moon in a failed attempt to bring forth a great evil. However, these are just rumours and nobody eally knows her true story. For as long as she could remember, she had always been alone, the others not wanting to have anything to do with her for reasons unknown. She was always sad, but covered it up with a smile. Things went on like that until she met Junko. Junko taught her the meaning of despair and soon Dokuso found herself enjoying it more than anything she ever felt. So she joined the SHSL Despairs and became their top double agent. when Junko decided to mastermind the killing games, Dokuso volunteered to enter as a spy. Junko agreed and sent her to find some participants. After searching through multiple worlds, she came upon a weird alien species calling themselves ‘trolls’. She was intrigued, they were so much like her. They seemed to trigger some subconcious memories and that facinated her. So she gathered some trolls she managed to sweet talk into playing and got ready for the killings to begin….

{Excuse me, what did I just read. This isnt how ANY of this works}

Quotes: …I…Don’t…Believe…It’s…Wise…To…Anger…Me…

Extra: She might be related to Nagito (Perhaps it might have something to do with her hair color?) {im exhausted} Headconon voice for her is Aoi Yuki (Madoka from PMMM) Theme song is DESPAIR by MissPavalova (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy4fN9pMKPA)

{I feel like i’ve been away from this blog for too long because I feel like every bad troll is the worst ive ever seen. Thank you for sharing.}

[oc-review-shop]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica OC: Betsy Lou

Submitted by: daniluni

Reviewed by: Mod Charle and Mod Jason

Another one!

Name: Elizabeth Louise “Betsy Lou” Jones Age at contract: 14 years Time as magical girl (main timeline): 1 and a half year Wish: to save her favorite horse Reasoning: she did not want him to be sacrificed

I hope you go more into detail about “sacrifice”. 

Unless Betsy Lou is apart of a cult of some sort, sacrificing a horse isn’t exactly a typical thing to happen in the modern period.

Weapon: a rope, a good ol practical rope strong enough to break things in half

Appearance and uniform: Tall, Lanky reddish blonde girl with blue eyes, a pointy nose, and freckles. She wears a cowboy hat, a red bandana, a denim shirt and a line skirt overall, with a belt with a decorative cow skill in the middle with her yellow soul gem, boots.

Typical cowgirl. A denim shirt would honestly be really irritating given its denim and it doesn’t exactly bend or flow as nicely as a normal shirt. But her outfit consists of very typical and bland clothing, I suggest adding more detail and spicing it up to match the outfits of other canon magical girls. 

Their outfits should be more unique rather than something you would generally see a cowgirl wear at a rodeo.

Personality: optimistic, positive, rash, naive, impulsive, stubborn

You could probably work on editing her personality slightly. Rash and positive are not too complimentary. It can work, and Besty Lou can be optimistic yet very impulsive and aggressive, but it is hard to imagine and may seem like she is more bipolar.

Precontract and encounter with Kyubey: Betsy Lou lived in a farm, she did farm things, went to a local school, and had a favorite horse “Ol pumpkinmasher” who she loved to play with. One day while they were racing, Ol pumpkinmasher tripped over a rock and fell. Betsy Lou got scared and desperate because if Ol pumpkinmasher broke his leg, he would be sacrificed, however a strange talking weasel offered a deal. She could get a wish if she accepted to become a magical girl. No points for guessing who was the weasel, or what was the wish, when her grandma called her she was surprised that Ol pumpkinmasher was running just fine, she was grateful.

Ol pumpkinmasher is a unique name I’ll give you that.

Like we said before, “sacrificed” should be a little more... explained. Sacrificing horses isn’t exactly normal or humane. I suggest figuring out another incident in which Ol pumpkinmasher hurting himself would cause him to be put down.

Also horses don’t exactly trip on rocks easily. If they step on one they usually just slide off.

Death: while fighting a witch she assured her teammates “Don worry I got Dis!” and decided to finish the witch by herself, however she did not calculate the risks and tripped over her rope trapping herself in a lasso, the witch purely out of curiosity picked her up and started playing with her like a yoyo, immediately snapping her in half, making her lower half fall off rather violently, shattering her soul gem in pieces.

Not sure if that quote is accent or weeaboo-ish.

I understand that Betsy Lou is implusive, but she did have a year and a half of practice with being a magical girl, which is a lot compared to a ton of others who usually despair within a month or so, like Sayaka. She wouldn’t be so stupid as to get caught in her own weapon. 

I like the death though. Gruesome and traumatic, just how Madoka Magica is supposed to be. 

Madoka’s reset: Betsy Lou was much more careful in this timeline, she died peacefully and did not have to traumatize her teammates unintentionally...

In Madoka’s reset, basically there are no witches. They are still magical girls, but fight “wraiths” I believe. She wouldn’t be fighting that same witch she fought before because it would not exist.

Homura’s reset: Betsy Lou and her parents had to move to the city, they visit the farm sometimes.

Homura’s reset basically doesn’t change anything except for Mitakihara. Assuming Betsy Lou is from the United States, she would most likely be totally unaffected. Maybe her moving is simply a mishap from the amount of timelines Homura went through who knows.

Trivia: 

- Due to her optimistic nature, she tends to die rather violently in most timelines.

Oof brutal.

 - Homura’s reset in the only timeline where she doesn’t die early nor violently.  

Like I said, Homura’s timeline doesn’t exactly affect anyone except those in Mitakihara. Betsy Lou would not be affected, so she probably has the same brutal death.

- Her death was traumatizing enough to push one of her teammates into despair. 

Yikes.

- She does have a witch form... 

I’d like to see it.

- She still trusts Kyubey.

Kyubey a thot.

Betsy Lou is a pretty good magical girl OC overall. She has many flaws, but all OCs and characters do.

I would definitely like to hear more about her witch form, the way she is designed and how she acts basically because Betsy Lou was killed in almost always brutal ways. You have a lot of critiques to make on her, but once they’re done, she’ll be a pretty solid PMMM oc.

Thanks for reading, and we hope this helps! (●´ω｀●)

*all oc credit goes to daniluni

~Mod Charle and Mod Jason

[max-starfall]

I posted 9,009 times in 2021

207 posts created (2%)

8802 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 42.5 posts.

I added 279 tags in 2021

#deltarune - 56 posts

#ace attorney - 36 posts

#pmmm - 34 posts

#deltarune chapter 2 - 33 posts

#yeah - 26 posts

#persona - 23 posts

#rgu - 21 posts

#top ten posts that make me feel an emotion known as violence - 19 posts

#portal - 16 posts

#what the fuck - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i think like getting through the first couple hours or so of any persona game would give someone a good idea as to why i am like this™ tbh

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

every day i think about how there are people who play cattails and have no idea about how mossie from the mystic colony originates from a youtube warrior cats series done in the sims 3

43 notes • Posted 2021-01-04 04:46:45 GMT

#4

you dont get context for this

49 notes • Posted 2021-02-12 22:30:02 GMT

#3

Trans Rights Fuckwad Webfog from the @swamp-cats rp is going to super hell for being a warrior cats oc, insulting the dead, being cat italian, and trans crimes!

Flag from @yourfaveisgoingtosuperhell lmao

66 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 15:27:42 GMT

#2

ben shapira

529 notes • Posted 2021-01-24 04:36:31 GMT

#1

hello fellow deltarune fans

604 notes • Posted 2021-09-28 22:00:59 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[fanfictionlive]

I will read and critique your story – under the following conditions. Please read carefully

Since I'm currently going through writer's block and getting little engagement from my fandom communities, I've decided to offer my critiquing services here in the hopes of some inspiration.

Let me preface this by saying:

I will not read fandom-blind.

See below for a list of the admittedly small selection of fandoms I'm interested in.

I consider myself a meticulous editor who places great emphasis on presentation and execution. Please don't ask me to review your story if you're not willing to accept constructive criticism. While I will happily dish out compliments where they are warranted, I will not hesitate to point out problematic issues, nor will I sugarcoat them.

I will read and critique one-shots up to 10k long. To make my workload manageable, every author is limited to one fic. If your story is longer than that, or it's multi-chapter, I will continue reading so long as it holds my interest. This means that I may read three chapters, up to the middle of the story, or the entirety of the fic. If I drop the story before reaching the end, I will write a critique based on however far I've read, and advise you as to why the story has lost my interest.

My preferred genres: drama, tragedy, angst, romance. Serious, dark or depressing stories get my vote, especially if they are character-driven as opposed to plot-driven. Gen fics without a romantic pairing focus are fine, so long as it features a relationship (be it platonic or familial) with interesting dynamics that I can sink my teeth into.

Smut (including non/dub-con) is welcome, but I'd rather not have it be the central theme of the story. If you want me to critique your smut specifically, do let me know. That said, I am particularly nitpicky on this front, so be prepared to have your work disassembled. :-P

I strongly prefer F/M pairings. But M/M, F/F, NB/polyamorous pansexual alien/whatever are fine so long as the pairing is not cracktastic levels of implausible and you can sell me the romance.

Here are my dealbreakers:

No AUs except for Canon-Divergence. (To clarify, this means the story must be set in the canon universe)

No underage smut or sexual relationship where there's a questionable/unethical age gap

No high school/college fics

No reader/self-insert

No original character as main protagonist. However, if the OC is non-human, I will consider it

No self-indulgent fluff where OTP gets their happily-ever-after with 2.5 kids and a picturesque house in middle-class suburbia. Sorry, not my cup of tea

No Voldemort/Anyone

If your story contains one or more of the above, I'm afraid I must decline.

Fandoms I have written for:

NieR: Automata

Final Fantasy XIII

Kingdom Hearts

Valkyrie Profile

Dragonball Z

Golden Sun

Blood+

Sekirei

Fandoms I'm well acquainted with:

Final Fantasies IV, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XII, XV (not XI or XIV)

Harry Potter

Evangelion

FSN and Fate: Zero

Pokemon

Fandoms I have a passing familiarity with:

AoT

PMMM

Re:Zero

FMA (original and Brotherhood)

SAO (seasons 1 & 2)

Death Note

Elfen Lied

Darling in the Franxx

Zelda (N64 era)

Star Wars

The above lists are by no means exhaustive and I'm likely to have missed a fandom or three. From those, you can surmise that I'm mostly into anime and JRPGs. You're welcome to suggest fics outside those fandoms, but please bear in mind that I will decline if the fandom is not one I'm remotely familiar with.

Please don't suggest fics from the following fandoms:

Marvel Universe

Supernatural

Bleach

Naruto

One Piece

Inuyasha

Fruits Basket

Twilight

Alright, show me your fics, guys! First come, first serve :-)

If I comment on your fic, I would greatly appreciate if you return the favour and comment on one of my stories as well. Here are my account links:

[AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_a_Quandary/works)

[FFN](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1410668/)

Lastly, please note that I may not get back to you in a timely manner, as I am a SAH parent subject to the whims of my mercurial, screaming infant :-P

submitted by /u/Under_A_Hermit_Rock [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/2NANBlm

[wiseabsol]

Fanfics You Should Be Reading

Dæmorphing by Poetry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8983

Fandoms: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate, His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

Summary: They can’t tell you their real names, or their dæmons’ names. The Yeerks are everywhere. But they’re going to fight back.

My thoughts: This is a beautiful reworking of the original series that does a much, much better job with its worldbuilding, with its exploration of alien cultures (and numerous human ones), and with the characters grappling with their trauma and the murky ethics of war. It’s also queer-friendly and gives side characters like Loren and Aftran more time to shine. “The Cowardice of Lions” is where it crosses the line from good to spine-tinglingly great.    

水火 by trascendenza

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120337

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender

Summary: Azula, post-canon, picking up the pieces. When she tried, Paupau clicked her tongue behind her teeth and took Azula’s small hand in her own, held securely in the tiger’s mouth of her thumb and forefinger.

My thoughts: An absolutely gorgeous, post-series exploration of Azula’s recovery and her transformation into a less toxic person. There is a wonderful female mentor figure in this as well. 

Dominion by Aurelia le

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/1/Dominion

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

My thoughts: While not for the faint of heart, this story explores the cycle of abuse in the Fire Nation royal family, with a strong focus on the psychological cause-and-effect of that abuse. It also interrogates the canon interpretations of its central characters in fascinating ways, unpacking the implications of how Azula behaves in the show and how deep Zuko’s anger goes. Finally, there is a hard look at how sexism impacts the characters, particularly with Ursa, who has internalized the patriarchy in ways that put a deep strain on her relationship with her daughter. I would love for this to be an original novel, but Aurelia sticks her tongue out at me whenever I suggest it.      

once a queen or king of narnia, always a king or queen by dirgewithoutmusic

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/82624

Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis

Summary: A lion told her to walk away, and she did. He forbade her magic, he forbade her her own kingdom, so she made her own. Susan after Narnia.

My thoughts: There is a powerful anger and sadness in these stories, in part due to Susan’s grief over losing her family and her kingdom, but also--on a meta level--at the sexism behind why she was rejected from Narnia. If you liked Neil Gaimen’s “The Problem of Susan,” but wanted more beauty and melancholy in it, then this series is for you.    

We That Are Young by Stoplight Delight  

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4175371/1/We-That-Are-Young

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Summary: It’s a well-known fact that innocents make poor soldiers. Fortunately, Riza Hawkeye’s childhood was not entirely innocent. She had to grow up fast… though she wasn’t the only one. The early years of the Colonel and his First Lieutenant.

+

Shall Never See So Much by Stoplight Delight  

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4396547/1/Shall-Never-See-So-Much

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Summary: In the military academies of Amestris, Cadets Mustang and Hawkeye are trained to command. They are groomed and prepared for firefights, hand-to-hand combat and even torture. But there’s one thing their schools cannot prepare them for: the reality of war.

My thoughts on this duology: This duology chronicles the childhoods and early adolescences of Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang in wonderful, but also tragic and painful, detail. It captures the setting and time period perfectly and makes every one of its characters, including the OCs, feel like real people. It’s agonizing that the second story isn’t finished, but what is there is rich and worthy of many rereads.   

Against the Moon by Stoplight Delight  

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7305052/1/Against-the-Moon

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Summary: The odds were stacked against him: a child from a blended home with no friends, no social skills to speak of, and a terrible secret. Yet slowly Remus Lupin began to discover there was a place for him in the world, if he could find the courage to claim it.

My thoughts: The same author as the above, with the same loving attention to detail. This Marauders story captures the discrimination that Remus Lupin must have gone through in his youth far more accurately than the original books did, shows us the terror of Voldemort’s first rise to power, and makes Peter Pettigrew’s friendship with the group--and his eventual betrayal of them--make an incredible and terrible amount of sense. It’s a must-read for fans of the HP series.   

The Very Secret Diary by Arabella

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2345300/chapters/5171522

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Summary: ‘His d-diary’ Ginny sobbed. ‘I’ve b-been writing in it, and he’s been w-writing back all year -’ Ginny’s first year in Hogwarts, written in diary entries.

My thoughts: One reviewer described this story as “demonic possession as a metaphor for domestic abuse and gaslighting,” and honestly, that encompasses this work perfectly. It starts off slowly and innocently enough, but by the end of it, you have a white-knuckled grip on your laptop/phone and only have the canon rescue of Ginny as a source of comfort. I would advise reading the one-shot follow-up, “Disenchanted,” afterwards to help settle your nerves. This is also the fic that made me a Ginny and Harry/Ginny fan in a way canon never managed to. 

boy with a scar by dirgewithoutmusic

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/285498

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Summary: A series of “what if” rewrites of Harry Potter, books 1-7. What if other characters were the Chosen Ones, what if HP had queer leads, and what if characters like Petunia Dursley and Severus Snape weren’t such contemptible human beings?  

My thoughts: This series makes me sob my heart out, especially the Severus Snape one, which is completely unfair, given how much I loath Snape in canon. Overall, this series is full of touching moments and relationships, embraces queer relationships and identities, and gives you glimpses of the series you wished you’d read as a child. 

we must unite inside her walls or we’ll crumble from within by dirgewithoutmusic

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/136245

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Summary: Stories for the ladies of Hogwarts, who cry, waver, giggle, trespass, and who deserve our respect all the same.

My thoughts: The same author as the above, but with more of a focus on the female characters and their own experiences as they grew up. Particularly memorable to me were the sections for Pansy Parkinson and Andromeda Tonks, which won me over to Pansy and made me ache for Andromeda, respectively. 

Persephone’s Waltz by ErinPtah

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577310/chapters/1035515

Fandoms: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Summary: The more times she fails to save Madoka, the more desperate Homura gets…until kidnapping her and locking her in a basement until Walpurgisnacht is over stops sounding like such a crazy idea.

My thoughts: This is a midquel in the PMMM story with a Room-esque flare to it. The writing is stark, Homura’s points of view match how much she’s slipping, and the story does a great job of showing the psychological damage done by captivity and by inferiority complexes. It’s more queer than the show is, with the lesbian ships being explored on page, rather than just teased. I often binge this one whenever I start re-reading it, because it’s so good.  

bringing the war home by dirgewithoutmusic

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/96290

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe / Agents of SHIELD

Summary: A series on the lives and times of the woman of the MCU.

My thoughts: Really you should just read everything direwithoutmusic has written, but this one has a special place in my heart for its sections on Natasha Romanoff and Gamora, which are heartbreaking, but also healing. “i dreamed of a day” in particular resonated with me, as someone who was raised in an abusive home and was appalled by how Gamora was treated in Infinity War. It’s a story I fully intend to record one day, because it means so much to me.    

Double Agent Vader by Fialleril

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/286908

Fandom: Star Wars

Summary: The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion. Alternate summary, according to TV Tropes: A man attempts to escape slavery by turning into one of his culture heroes, teaching his daughter how to do magic, killing people, and flower arranging.

My thoughts: A powerful reworking of the original trilogy, with a strong focus on the culture and storytelling of the slaves of Tatooine. It is also chock full of father-daughter feels and dramatic irony, and at turns has made me laugh with delight and cry.  

you can only use your own by feralphoenix

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/369158

Fandom: Undertale

Summary: You cannot use someone else’s fire; you can only use your own. And in order to do that, you must first be willing to believe you have it. - Audre Lorde. Or: Snapshots from a world where Chara and Asriel lived.

My thoughts: This AU put my heart back together after I finished Undertale. I subscribe to the “Chara is the Narrator” theory, so this captures everything I’d hoped for from a Chara characterization, without flinching away from how troubled they are. What I admire about this series is how compassionate it is to its mentally ill characters, how it confronts toxic relationships and works to make them healthier, how queer-friendly it is, and the Jewish representation within it.

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

Just found you, luv it. So I've got a magical-boy and his wish was to be loved. I've thought that he'd fall into despair because he would start to question if people Truly liked him and would blame himself. His witch form would be called the "Teen Idle Witch" and the story is the witch adores his groupies but quickly becomes board of them and "discards" them after the show. I don't what to do for a weapon tho, any ideas?

Something that really helps me with deciding on weapons is spending some time thinking about what the character’s vibe is and what they would look coolest with. If his theme is that he’s a prince archetype, heroic and powerful, then a sword, shield, or lance would look great. If he’s more rebellious, then maybe daggers or Molotov cocktails fit him more. If he’s more soft and sweet, then something less weapon-y may be more his style, like exploding stuffed animals or a camera that does damage by taking pictures.

Since his wish was to be loved, then I would consider what that love looks like to him. It seems like he basically ended up being famous (the teen idol reference suggests that) so consider what his idea of being popular is!

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

i have a puella magi that wished to live up to the expectations of others... but i have no idea frankly how this wish would affect her irl, and what kinda magic it would gain her. could you help me?

Oooh I love this idea! I would consider what expectations are being placed on the character. Are they real expectations or imagined expectations? Are they common or uncommon expectations? Does she actually want to meet the expectations or does she just want to be accepted? I’ll go through some examples of possible answers to all these questions to help you out!

To start, I’ll go over the real vs imagined expectations. If the expectations are real, you’d have her family or friends constantly pressuring her to be better and pushing her to be the person they want her to be. The powers from this version of the wish could be based around looking like she does everything effortlessly. She can boost her own powers, or she can manipulate the way people see her. If the expectations are imaginary, her goals are created in her own head. She stresses about things that only matter to her. Like if her family expects her to get good grades, while she pressures herself to get straight As, then this is an imaginary expectation. Powers for this version could include being able to transform herself in some way, like making herself strong or smarter based on what she thinks she needs to be.

For common vs uncommon expectations, I’m thinking along the lines of what typical expectations in our society are. Like in the example above, if she’s expected to get good grades, that is a common expectation. I recommend less specific powers based on this wish and focusing more on something that you think is cool. The wish doesn’t have to fit exactly with the power!

For uncommon expectations, I’m thinking of situations where she has expectations placed on her that most girls don’t experience. Like if she’s expected to become an Olympic athlete or take over as the CEO of her wealthy family’s business someday. These powers can be a bit more specific, where it’s fun to match the power with the expectations placed on her. If she’s an athlete, then she gets stronger of faster. If she’s going to be a CEO, she becomes a good coordinator or strategist.

Finally, the question of if she actually wants to meet the expectations or if she wants to be accepted. If she actually cares about the expectations placed on her, then she’ll be thrilled to finally be able to reach the goals. However, she might realize that the goalposts are always moving. The expectation that she gets good grades could change to become that she needs to be ranked first. Instead of just going to the Olympics, she has to get a medal, and then that she has to get a gold medal. Even as she rises to meet the challenge, the expectations start to exhaust her. She realizes she wasn’t the problem, that the expectations were always out of her reach. (Got a little distracted thinking about this character haha) I think she could have powers to try and keep making her better, to the point she no longer recognizes herself.

As for a character who just wants to be accepted, her powers could focus more around how people perceive her. Like she could be slacking off constantly, but everyone sees her as a model student. She could be praised for doing anything, and she starts to use it to her advantage more and more.

I hope this gives you some answers!

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

Are reviews still avalible?

Yes! Reviews are absolutely still available! Send them in and I’ll get as many done as I can

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

Is this chat still active? I mean I know the show is 9 years old. But I still love it and I have ocs I made that i would like to share!

Ah this is a little embarrassing, but yes, I’m technically still active! I go on long breaks due to my real life. I’m in law school and I work in an attorneys office, so sometimes pmmm takes a backseat! I’m answering asks today though!!

[oc-review-shop]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica OC: Luna Yuzuki

Submitted by: daniluni

Reviewed by: Mod Charle

Whe My first PMMM oc

Name: Luna Yuzuki Age at magical girl contract: 10 Time as a magical girl in main timeline: around 2 years Wish: To be a classical witch, with hexes, magic and curses. (She can only cause minor inconveniences though) Reasoning behind this wish: Because she wanted take revenge on her  elder sister Selene’s bullies, who shunned,belittled and beat her up.

I feel like you need more reasoning behind her wish to become a classical witch. In this scenario with Luna’s sister being bullied, I would assume Luna would simply tell Kyubey “give me the power to protect my sister”. I don’t think her wish would be to “become a classical witch”. However, you can still incorporate the classical witch appearance into Luna’s magical girl form, if she read many fairy tale books as a child and such.

Weapon: a cat shaped broom, which can float and support her weight, shoot beams of light (which are more like distractions) and be used as a staff (her method of fighting).

I’m not gonna lie, I really dig this weapon. She was 10 years old at the time of her contract which would explain the cuteness of her weapon. It’s also really useful and reliable at the same time.

Appareance and uniform: She is a short magical girl, with freckles gray eyes and long bushy hair, she wears a lavender poofy shirt with poofy sleeves, a dark purple vest with a big pink ribbon located at the heart position with her red soul gem there , a dark purple bubble skirt (with frills!), pink and lavender  stockings, dark purple shoes with ribbons, and  a pointy dark purple hat with a ribbon

First of all, I don’t think you mentioned her hair color. Second of all, I feel like her outfit might need some tweaking. She does give off a Selena Grace vibe (I assume a lot of your OC was influenced by her) yet it doesn’t fit your idea of a witch. I think it would be better if her colors were a little more on the darker side. The ribbons are a good touch since they add to her innocence and young age, but her outfit in general should look more like a witch (pointed shoes, spiky-ish sleeves) but I do LOVE the bubble skirt.

Personality: Frank, Stubborn,Supportive, Efusive,Sees things in black and white, Friendly, Energetic

She may be a little contradicting in herself, but it could work out.

Pre Contract and encounter with Kyubey: Luna and her sister Selene lived in England with their mother Chandra who often told them fairy tale stories  

I hope these are stories about witches and fairy tales

and their father Kosuke, their lives where quiet and happy since Luna and Selene lived basically all their lives there, but, alas, good things had to end, after Chandra died of heart failure and there was no way of contacting Chandra’s parent’s, they had to move to Japan and start anew, while Luna adapted rather quickly, making some friends and becoming mildly popular, Selene had a lot of trouble due to being a slow learner, having a stutter, and a more withdrawn personality, being a clumsy pushover  which annoyed a certain group of girls (3 girls) who decided to pick up on her which hurt Selene’s already low self steem, and she started to develop a strong depression, starting to not care about anything.

Although the point of moving to Japan was to give Luna a chance to see Selene’s bullying, they didn’t necessarily have to move to Japan specifically. Japan doesn’t have any significant purpose in Luna’s story unless there is specific development in her character with one of the other present magical girls (although I do like it when OC’s keep their interactions and developments to themselves, especially in the PMMM world). There are magical girls all over the world, so London could have sufficed for the setting.

When Luna was taking care of Selene she spotted a catlike figure stealing something from her desk, and she ran to catch the thief , throwing things at them, and yelling angrily and through tears “You can’t have that! It’s from my sister and it makes her happy” the figure revealed itself to be Kyubey, who apologized and asked her for a contract… and she accepted.

Kyubey is a goddamn hoe

However, like I said, a more realistic wish for Luna would be for the ability to protect her older sister or something around that.

Despair: While things seemed to go better for Selene, her Bullies weren’t quite happy with that, because they  had inconveniences over inconveniences, that often got them suspended  (They tripped on their faces on P.E, broke their pens, got their uniforms splashed, arriving very late) they decided Selene was a jinx/bad luck bringer and decided to put the entire classroom against her, and Selene couldn’t take it anymore, when Luna went to the restroom, she found the dead body of her sister, with vomit stains and an emptied out bottle of floor cleaner on her hand, that scene broke poor Luna’s heart who just yelled “Why, Why?! ” Kyubey appeared just to answer it was her wish to be a witch, to attack Selene’s bullies and thats just what she did,Luna just started throwing things at kyubey, attacking furiously while her soul gem became darker and darker.

Man these bullies are MEAN. I really do wonder how Luna found Selene first before anyone else since she did commit suicide in a school bathroom. Kyubey is also a little bitch.

Witch name and description: Margaret The BullyHunter Witch: She has a protective nature, she cares for the powerless, the weak and the helpless, she cannot stand abusers and bullies, powerful on hot sun days, best time to fight her is in a cold and rainy night

You could probably change BullyHunter to something like the Chivalry Witch. It sounds a little more sophisticated. The witch’s personality and purpose do fit her very well, I have to admit.

Madoka’s reset: In Madoka’s reset she has a less black and white look of the world, and started to introduce Selene to her friends, being less vengeful and more supportive, and when time took its toll on her, Madoka took her away

I agree that this is a very good Madoka reset for Luna. However, I would like to know more about when exactly Luna was taken away by Madoka and how this happened.

Homura’s reset (yes im doing that too, lol) : While nothing much has changed and she still had to move to Japan, her father remarried, and Selene started to go to other school, with much nicer classmates, and Luna began practicing stage magic to surprise her friends, even though she wondered what would happen if Selene’s classmates weren’t nice

Stage magic is a good addition to Luna’s extracurriculars since it hints at her witch-like form as a magical girl. She seems VERY protective over Selene, and I would like to get more into the personalities and dynamics the two share.

Trivia: *Margaret (her witch name) is in reference of Margaret Hamilton, who was the iconic Wicked Witch of The West

NICE CONNECTION

*Her sister is 4 years older than her

If the age gap was 4 years, they wouldn’t be at the same school, which makes me wonder how Luna knew so much about Selene’s activities with the bullies. I would suggest making the age gap slightly closer. Also take into consideration grade levels. Luna would be in elementary school while Selene would be in middle school.

*She met Kyoko and Mami and fought alongside them, she thinks fondly of Mami, but doesn’t think highly of Kyoko, because she finds her rude, because of her black and white thinking

I don’t know if this has much of an effect on Luna’s story overall. I feel as if this is unnecessary and the plot would be fine if there wasn’t any interaction with the PMMM magical girls.

*She has a vivid imagination *Her mother was of  mixed race (Punjabi-White) *her life in Homura’s reset is what would have happened if she met and interacted with Homura *Her witch form looks like a combination of common witch familiars (Crows, owls, cats, bats,frogs)  while her familiars are cauldrons with broom legs.

I love her familiars.

Overall, Luna was a very good OC. I thought she was well written and well elaborated on. There are a few things you need to fix about her, but I think she is one of the better PMMM OCs I’ve seen (She’s not a Mary Sue!)

Thanks for reading, and I hope this helps! (^▽^)

*All OC credit goes to daniluni

~Mod Charle

[pmmm-oc-reviews]

My OC had a sister who adored flowers, she ends up with a terminal disease and my OC wishes for the disease to be cured, but she can't, so she asks for the flowers to bloom one last time before her sister dies. I'm having trouble thinking of powers, any ideas?

______________________________________

Wow! I think thats a really cute idea! For powers, I think theres a few really interesting ways you could take that idea.

First theres the kind of obvious options of having her use plant themed powers. Using vines to trap enemies or maybe as a whip (I personally think that weapon could be unique in itself). You could have her grow flowers that could create pollen that maybe affects enemies in different ways.

Another unique angle you could take is based on her love for and such her will to protect her sister. She could be more defense based, either having to help other magical girls or using her powers in more creative ways to defeat witches. She could maybe create a light shield that forms as a flower around her, maybe using those light flowers as mirrors to shoot projectile attacks back. Using flowers to break falls, Alice in Wonderland style. 

If you want her to be more offense based, I think she could fight with giant Gardening Shears, a magical spade, or some kind of seed pod grenade launcher. You could also have her fight with daggers shaped like half scissors (If you like this, maybe look into the scissor blade design from Kill La Kill and making it much smaller). She could also have powers related to different types of flowers, such as poison or maybe she can manipulate some sticky goop that traps minions and witches.

If you’d like anymore information on any of these ideas, feel free to message me again! 

As always, Thank you very much for supporting PMMM OC Reviews!